1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:03,159 Speaker 1: Welcome to Can't Fully Reckless, the production of Ieheart Radio 2 00:00:03,279 --> 00:00:16,840 Speaker 1: and the Black Effects. Are we on a air? Yeah, 3 00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:18,720 Speaker 1: we're on an air. Guess what's y'all share? Girl? Just 4 00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:22,360 Speaker 1: hilarious and welcome back to yet another carefully reckless episode? 5 00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:25,239 Speaker 1: What and Why I will be fixing your mess? Now? 6 00:00:25,239 --> 00:00:29,960 Speaker 1: We don't have any voice memos today. People starting to 7 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:32,880 Speaker 1: get caught up because the people that they be hitting 8 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:36,199 Speaker 1: us about be listening to y'all. So people have been 9 00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:38,360 Speaker 1: getting snatched up left and right, Like I heard you 10 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:41,400 Speaker 1: telling just our business thinking that she could fix our 11 00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:44,040 Speaker 1: shit whole time. You know what I'm saying. I had 12 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:48,040 Speaker 1: some people writing me right and say, oh my such 13 00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:51,360 Speaker 1: and such had wrote you or sent you a voice memo, 14 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:53,840 Speaker 1: but they didn't tell you the whole story. And so 15 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:57,120 Speaker 1: now I gotta tell you, but that person never sent it. 16 00:00:57,160 --> 00:00:58,600 Speaker 1: That was only one person that did that. Then I 17 00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:02,360 Speaker 1: had another person that, uh said that their husband had 18 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:05,680 Speaker 1: wrote me. It wasn't even a voice memo. They just 19 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:09,520 Speaker 1: knew their story and how their significant other type. Damn 20 00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:13,280 Speaker 1: Ain't that some private eye detective shit. I know that's right, 21 00:01:13,319 --> 00:01:15,280 Speaker 1: I know that's right. So I think that's why we 22 00:01:15,319 --> 00:01:17,160 Speaker 1: haven't been getting a lot of voice memos. However, we're 23 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:20,319 Speaker 1: gonna jump into this reading right here. Jess, please fix 24 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:22,959 Speaker 1: my mess. The backstory is so long, I don't even 25 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,640 Speaker 1: know where to start, but the short version is, I've 26 00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:28,399 Speaker 1: been this guy's mistress for about ten years. God damn. 27 00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:32,880 Speaker 1: He has a girlfriend pretty much his wife, no kids together, 28 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:36,360 Speaker 1: but they both have kids from different relationships. It's clear 29 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:39,480 Speaker 1: that he's never going to leave her, and I've always 30 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:43,880 Speaker 1: known that whatever. Fine, No, the fuck, it's not whatever. Fine, girl. 31 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:46,280 Speaker 1: I like him and maybe even love him so much 32 00:01:46,319 --> 00:01:48,840 Speaker 1: that I'm willing to be his ride or die mistress. 33 00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:52,720 Speaker 1: It's so many things wrong with that ride or die mistress. 34 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:55,680 Speaker 1: It's bad enough that you already a mistress, then you 35 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:58,280 Speaker 1: his ride or die. When the fuck are we gonna 36 00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:03,280 Speaker 1: stop making ourselves available in this accessible to a man 37 00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:08,000 Speaker 1: ride or die? No, I don't even care that. It's 38 00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:13,320 Speaker 1: just the saying words whole power, and I honestly hate that. 39 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:16,320 Speaker 1: I've never used that term for myself, not as a teenager, 40 00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:18,600 Speaker 1: not as a woman in my twenties, and now I'm 41 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:20,280 Speaker 1: in my thirties. I don't think I ever wanted to 42 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:22,720 Speaker 1: be a nigga's riddle, die, I'm telling you, uh huh, 43 00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:26,639 Speaker 1: all right, I'm continuing. So she says, I'm so crazy 44 00:02:26,639 --> 00:02:29,280 Speaker 1: about him. I even moved into the same building as him, 45 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,920 Speaker 1: which his girlfriend also lives in with him. I mean, 46 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:36,080 Speaker 1: will due. I literally live over top of him. So 47 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:38,200 Speaker 1: lately he's been busy at work and has not been 48 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:41,160 Speaker 1: giving me any attention, which is off to me because 49 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:44,239 Speaker 1: he always makes time for me. Paranoia got the best 50 00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:47,240 Speaker 1: of me, and thoughts of him possibly seeing someone else 51 00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:50,240 Speaker 1: came to mind. Well, how many other people he got 52 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:52,840 Speaker 1: time to see? If he lived with his girlfriend and 53 00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:55,560 Speaker 1: his other girlfriend live over top of him, what the fuck? 54 00:02:56,520 --> 00:03:01,280 Speaker 1: Maybe he might be seeing someone else. Girl, He might 55 00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:04,160 Speaker 1: be seeing his girlfriend, that's what the fuck happened, And 56 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:06,480 Speaker 1: she may have found out about your little ass, and 57 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,600 Speaker 1: so he need to take the attention off of y'all 58 00:03:08,639 --> 00:03:12,320 Speaker 1: real quick, cause shit getting hot. You don't understand now 59 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:14,600 Speaker 1: if it is somebody else, what are you gonna do? 60 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:17,760 Speaker 1: What does that make you number two? Or number three? 61 00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:21,600 Speaker 1: What does that? I mean You're not number one? Now, listen, 62 00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:23,799 Speaker 1: you don't have a problem with that. Be that as 63 00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:26,200 Speaker 1: it may. I'm here to tell you that's some bullshit. 64 00:03:26,639 --> 00:03:29,160 Speaker 1: That's wrong. I don't know how old you are. I 65 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:31,080 Speaker 1: don't know what you're doing in your life right now, 66 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:33,080 Speaker 1: but I mean, I can't even say that you're a 67 00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:37,480 Speaker 1: young woman. I know you've given ten years of a 68 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:40,360 Speaker 1: one sided relationship to a man. And the reason why 69 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:42,760 Speaker 1: I say it's one sided because I bet he's your 70 00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:47,800 Speaker 1: only one, but you're not his only one, and you don't. 71 00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:51,800 Speaker 1: I hate to talk to other women like this, but 72 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:55,800 Speaker 1: wake your ass up. Do you know you're so valuable, 73 00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:59,280 Speaker 1: You're so beautiful, you deserve to be the only woman 74 00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:03,520 Speaker 1: a man is with. Do you not know that you 75 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:05,760 Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. I need you to wake up here. 76 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:07,280 Speaker 1: I would love to know how old you or I 77 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:09,400 Speaker 1: would love for you to write me some more and 78 00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:11,400 Speaker 1: give me some more information about you, because baby, I 79 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:16,960 Speaker 1: feel very very sorry. Actually I am very very upset 80 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:20,560 Speaker 1: with you. I don't feel sorry for you, though, because 81 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:23,240 Speaker 1: you willingly gave this nigga ten years of your life. 82 00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:26,520 Speaker 1: You willingly did that. I hope you ain't in your forties. 83 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:28,840 Speaker 1: I hope you ain't in your thirties. Baby. I hope 84 00:04:28,839 --> 00:04:31,840 Speaker 1: you're not older than twenty five. That's what I really, 85 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:34,560 Speaker 1: really fucking hope and I hope this ain'ts some old 86 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:38,159 Speaker 1: last man who got money, because I hear this story 87 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:40,200 Speaker 1: all too often. Baby, you can go get your own money, 88 00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:41,880 Speaker 1: or you can go get you somebody your age with 89 00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:44,080 Speaker 1: some other fucking money, or you know what I'm saying. 90 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:48,120 Speaker 1: And it's so many, so many opportunities of love for 91 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:52,880 Speaker 1: you in life. And you and you're sharing willingly, sharing 92 00:04:53,839 --> 00:04:57,919 Speaker 1: a man with one, maybe two other women. That's some 93 00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:00,599 Speaker 1: crazy shit you live in. All y'all live in the 94 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:03,200 Speaker 1: same building with Natara Peter and a mana going to 95 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:05,560 Speaker 1: fuck on what is going on? I know you better 96 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:07,480 Speaker 1: not get pregnant, and I know you better not ever 97 00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:09,880 Speaker 1: think about knocking on ay motherfucking door because guess what, 98 00:05:10,279 --> 00:05:14,359 Speaker 1: who ain't gonna leave her? Okay, she lived with the nigga. 99 00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:16,719 Speaker 1: She the closest to the nigger than you. You still 100 00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:19,640 Speaker 1: live by yourself, so there's still hope. Because he ain't 101 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,960 Speaker 1: living with you. You need to move out that goddamn building. 102 00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:25,279 Speaker 1: I'll tell you that, But I'm also tell you this. 103 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:29,160 Speaker 1: I guarantee you if you leave this man alone, he'll 104 00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:31,840 Speaker 1: come crawling. He'll come crawling, and you gotta be strong 105 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:34,279 Speaker 1: enough to say no. See, he's used to you chasing 106 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:36,560 Speaker 1: and chasing and chasing and chasing. That's why he put 107 00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:38,960 Speaker 1: you on the back burner for whenever it's convenient for 108 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:40,800 Speaker 1: him to talk to you, for him to deal with 109 00:05:40,839 --> 00:05:46,200 Speaker 1: you ten years. Girl, please leave that motherfucker alone and 110 00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:48,120 Speaker 1: still stay in the same building. If you can't, just 111 00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:50,960 Speaker 1: up and leave. So I say, still stay in the building, 112 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:53,200 Speaker 1: but start dealing with somebody else, Start having another nigga. 113 00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:55,919 Speaker 1: Come over there, girl, what the fuck? Get your mind 114 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:58,320 Speaker 1: off that shit. That man is downstairs, not worrying about 115 00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:00,960 Speaker 1: you one bit until he sees you, until he lays 116 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:04,200 Speaker 1: his eyes on you, and he's probably scared to death 117 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:06,919 Speaker 1: every fucking night that you're gonna not go on the 118 00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:09,599 Speaker 1: fucking door, you know what I'm saying. But that ain't 119 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:12,160 Speaker 1: gonna do shit, and ain't gonna do shit. She probably 120 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:14,200 Speaker 1: she probably will be mad at him, but she ain't 121 00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:16,280 Speaker 1: gonna go nowhere. You just told me he ain't never 122 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:18,279 Speaker 1: leaving her. You think she leaving him? And do you 123 00:06:18,279 --> 00:06:20,120 Speaker 1: think you the first person that he cheated with. She 124 00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:22,679 Speaker 1: probably already know he cheated, you know what I'm saying. 125 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:26,360 Speaker 1: Or he's cheating, so you gotta be smarter than her. 126 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:29,640 Speaker 1: You gotta be smarter than him. Get the fuck about 127 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:31,960 Speaker 1: the situation, Update me and give me some more meat 128 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,760 Speaker 1: on the bones. Let me know what you end up 129 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:35,800 Speaker 1: coming up with, a girl. Let me know what you 130 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:39,200 Speaker 1: come up with. I can't believe that if you love me, 131 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:41,880 Speaker 1: you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back. 132 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:46,800 Speaker 1: Move it on. Hi there, Jess, please fix my mess. 133 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:49,000 Speaker 1: I took a break from dating, and I decided to 134 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:51,880 Speaker 1: cut my family completely off the beginning of this year. 135 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:54,880 Speaker 1: I realized that I was carrying this childhood trauma for 136 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:57,240 Speaker 1: twenty years and put it past me. When I cut 137 00:06:57,240 --> 00:07:00,760 Speaker 1: my family off, m I finally came to terms that 138 00:07:00,839 --> 00:07:04,520 Speaker 1: my mom will never sincerely apologize for choosing a sick 139 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:09,080 Speaker 1: man over her daughter, and my siblings picking sides. Lately, 140 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:12,000 Speaker 1: I've been smiling a lot more social and the word 141 00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:14,920 Speaker 1: no has become my favorite word to say. I know 142 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:18,000 Speaker 1: what that feel like, boll. I am in full control 143 00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:21,280 Speaker 1: of not letting anybody disturb my peace. I know that's right. 144 00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:24,920 Speaker 1: The minute I've recognized a red flag, that person is 145 00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:27,840 Speaker 1: getting dropped with no more warnings. Now I am ready 146 00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:29,800 Speaker 1: to start dating, but I feel like I won't be 147 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:32,560 Speaker 1: taken seriously, since I am not close with my family, 148 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:35,240 Speaker 1: do you think a man will still want a relationship 149 00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:37,960 Speaker 1: with me if the chances of meeting my family is 150 00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:43,000 Speaker 1: very slim? Thanks in advance. All right, well, baby girl, 151 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:47,240 Speaker 1: It all depends on how bad your family issues has 152 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:52,960 Speaker 1: affected you. How have they affected you. It seems like 153 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:56,680 Speaker 1: it's a lot of family trauma there, because if you 154 00:07:56,720 --> 00:08:01,200 Speaker 1: had to cut your family completely off, who maybe it 155 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:04,960 Speaker 1: was very unhealthy for you and mentally unhealthy for you 156 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,920 Speaker 1: as well, because you're not supposed to surround yourself with 157 00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:11,560 Speaker 1: anything but positivity and love, even if there is hardly 158 00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:13,800 Speaker 1: any around you. You have to create that space for 159 00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:16,440 Speaker 1: you to feel safe and to have a peace of mind. 160 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:21,000 Speaker 1: If your family was interfering with that or contributing to 161 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:23,800 Speaker 1: the wrong side of it and or even to your 162 00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:27,360 Speaker 1: well being, then I am all for your decision. But 163 00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:30,880 Speaker 1: family is family, you know what I'm saying. So I'm 164 00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:34,640 Speaker 1: never vouching for you to completely cut them off forever, 165 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:37,720 Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Sometimes things just you just 166 00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:40,560 Speaker 1: have to y'all have to get to the bottom of things. 167 00:08:40,559 --> 00:08:42,400 Speaker 1: And you know you didn't mention that you will never 168 00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:45,240 Speaker 1: You feel like you'll never get an apology from your mother. 169 00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:48,200 Speaker 1: It's therapy, something that you guys talked about. Do you 170 00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:50,640 Speaker 1: not want to do therapy? Are you not ready? You 171 00:08:50,679 --> 00:08:52,800 Speaker 1: know a lot of people force therapy on people, and 172 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:55,080 Speaker 1: people just have to go when they feel the time 173 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:57,240 Speaker 1: is right for them, because a lot of people still 174 00:08:57,280 --> 00:09:00,240 Speaker 1: don't understand what therapy really is and how it can 175 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:03,040 Speaker 1: actually help you more than hurt you, you know what 176 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:07,120 Speaker 1: I'm saying, and more than exposing yourself. You really may 177 00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:10,680 Speaker 1: just may just needed somebody to talk to, to hear 178 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:13,640 Speaker 1: you out and to sort things out for you' That's 179 00:09:13,679 --> 00:09:17,120 Speaker 1: what therapy is, help you cope, you know what I'm saying. 180 00:09:17,559 --> 00:09:21,400 Speaker 1: Not in a negative way now, Yes I do to 181 00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:24,440 Speaker 1: answer your question, Yes, I certainly do believe that you 182 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:27,840 Speaker 1: can still find love with a good man who you 183 00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:30,480 Speaker 1: can explain this to a man with an open mind, 184 00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:33,160 Speaker 1: a man who is going to be patient enough for 185 00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:37,520 Speaker 1: you to explain this shit. Finally, whenever you get the chance. 186 00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:40,240 Speaker 1: You know, you don't just let anybody into your business. 187 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:42,959 Speaker 1: That's something that you just don't go around saying. Or 188 00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:45,400 Speaker 1: I'll cut my family off because of the d and 189 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:48,560 Speaker 1: because this happened, and that happened. I don't want them 190 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:51,560 Speaker 1: to drive you away, and they make me different, and 191 00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:53,600 Speaker 1: I don't want to drive you away because of something 192 00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:56,240 Speaker 1: my family is making me feel and how they're making 193 00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:58,480 Speaker 1: me act, and you know I act a certain way 194 00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:01,520 Speaker 1: because I'm not comfortable around them, or that. You know, 195 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:04,280 Speaker 1: all of that stuff can be talked about because it's 196 00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:08,360 Speaker 1: not really solely about your family when you're dating unless 197 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,439 Speaker 1: you are a person of tradition where you want to 198 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:12,280 Speaker 1: get married. You want to bring them home to mom 199 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:15,079 Speaker 1: and pop. You want to you know, I don't know 200 00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:16,679 Speaker 1: if you have siblings, but you know you want to 201 00:10:16,679 --> 00:10:19,240 Speaker 1: bring them around your grandparents. You want you want your 202 00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:21,320 Speaker 1: man to meet your cousins and you know, your uncle 203 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:23,839 Speaker 1: and your aunts and stuff like that. If you are 204 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:27,720 Speaker 1: a person of tradition for a family tradition more specifically, 205 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:32,160 Speaker 1: I do understand. I understand that. But yes, yeah, just understand. 206 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:34,880 Speaker 1: When you date, you don't date for your family. Okay. 207 00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:38,360 Speaker 1: And in this story and the fact that you ask me, 208 00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:42,000 Speaker 1: that tells me that you must have feel that you 209 00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:46,400 Speaker 1: lost a relationship due to your family problems. You must 210 00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:49,240 Speaker 1: have gone through something with a family with family and 211 00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:53,760 Speaker 1: a boyfriend or something like that. But yes, baby, all 212 00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:56,640 Speaker 1: hope is not lost for you because you're taking a 213 00:10:56,679 --> 00:10:58,520 Speaker 1: break away from your family, you know what I mean. Now, 214 00:10:58,559 --> 00:11:01,320 Speaker 1: you said completely off, you cut them completely off. But 215 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:04,040 Speaker 1: I'm just gonna say a break. You know, we all 216 00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:06,920 Speaker 1: need each other. Girl. The world is so fucking nuts 217 00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:10,240 Speaker 1: and crazy right now. You have to at least give 218 00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:14,199 Speaker 1: grace to loved ones. I'm not saying be stupid and 219 00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:16,439 Speaker 1: let anybody do anything to you. I'm not saying you 220 00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:20,120 Speaker 1: should willingly take disrespect, no, but just give them grace 221 00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:23,920 Speaker 1: enough because people do change, and it starts with them 222 00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:28,200 Speaker 1: noticing that there was a problem that they could have created. 223 00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:31,640 Speaker 1: You know, the first part is accountability on both ends. 224 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:35,040 Speaker 1: So yes, yes, because I felt like this was a 225 00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:36,680 Speaker 1: two part story. You told me a lot that I 226 00:11:36,679 --> 00:11:38,480 Speaker 1: want to help you fix with your family, and then 227 00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:41,880 Speaker 1: you told me some with dating. But yes, I think 228 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:43,840 Speaker 1: you can. But you just update me and keep me 229 00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:47,040 Speaker 1: in the loop and everything, because I really want to 230 00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:48,960 Speaker 1: see you going to date, girl, And I see you 231 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,920 Speaker 1: going to date that's kind of creepy, but I want 232 00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:53,160 Speaker 1: to know that you will get out here. You know 233 00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:56,120 Speaker 1: what I'm saying, There's nothing wrong with that. Like I said, 234 00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:59,640 Speaker 1: just make sure you keep all communication open, be honest, 235 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:02,439 Speaker 1: and if you get serious with somebody, then that's when 236 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:04,640 Speaker 1: you start thinking about sitting down with that person, telling 237 00:12:04,679 --> 00:12:07,440 Speaker 1: them all of this information, and hopefully they will still 238 00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:08,840 Speaker 1: love you for you. I don't see a reason why 239 00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:10,679 Speaker 1: man will get up and leave because you and your 240 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:12,480 Speaker 1: family ain't saying out to aye. You fucking with me 241 00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:14,520 Speaker 1: or you're fucking with my family, you know what I mean. 242 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:17,320 Speaker 1: Although there is a bigger picture, yes, weddings and all that, 243 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:20,720 Speaker 1: but cross that bridge when y'all get there. You gotta 244 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:24,040 Speaker 1: get past this first. So yes, girl, keep me updated, 245 00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,160 Speaker 1: let me know, Hold up, hold up, I know this 246 00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:28,640 Speaker 1: shit getting good, but listen to just a couple seconds 247 00:12:28,679 --> 00:12:32,199 Speaker 1: of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen. This 248 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:34,480 Speaker 1: is a smooth episode. And then everybody know how to 249 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:38,840 Speaker 1: spell and y'all doing good? All right, last story. Then 250 00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:40,360 Speaker 1: I'm getting up out of here. I got a show 251 00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:45,160 Speaker 1: at TSU. Y'all at Tennessee State University tonight, y'all? All right? 252 00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:50,319 Speaker 1: All right, dad homecoming, yay, yay, all right. Last one, Jesz, 253 00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:52,760 Speaker 1: I need you to help me fix my mess. Shaking 254 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:55,920 Speaker 1: my motherfucking head. I have been in an on and 255 00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:58,760 Speaker 1: off relationship with my baby daddy for the past ten years. 256 00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:01,920 Speaker 1: Everybody got this ten word today. In those ten years 257 00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:05,000 Speaker 1: of long on and offs, he has also been with 258 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:07,520 Speaker 1: one of his baby mothers, who he's been involved with 259 00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:11,559 Speaker 1: for fifteen plus years. Damn, we both have known about 260 00:13:11,559 --> 00:13:16,520 Speaker 1: each other and dealt with it accordingly. Long story short, 261 00:13:16,679 --> 00:13:19,120 Speaker 1: me and him went through a rough patch for about 262 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:22,200 Speaker 1: a year where we wasn't involved with each other. No fucking, 263 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:26,319 Speaker 1: no chilling, just straight parenting. Not gonna lie. In that time, 264 00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:29,840 Speaker 1: I did the most. I mean, hey, I was single, 265 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:32,280 Speaker 1: I didn't know how to act, and I was heartbroken 266 00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:36,880 Speaker 1: and did things I wasn't proud of. Hoh well, aha, 267 00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:40,480 Speaker 1: I see what you did that, she said, hoh well, okay, 268 00:13:40,559 --> 00:13:42,800 Speaker 1: so you went and lived your life. Okay. He was 269 00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:45,480 Speaker 1: a little hot girl. Real quick, I understand, I get 270 00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:49,040 Speaker 1: the translation. Well, fast forward. He got into some legal 271 00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:51,360 Speaker 1: trouble with that same baby mother and the first person 272 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:54,160 Speaker 1: he called was me, of course, And what did I do? 273 00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:57,200 Speaker 1: Drop everything and ran to him. I mean, because at 274 00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:58,960 Speaker 1: the end of the day, I still love this man. 275 00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:04,520 Speaker 1: Fast forward to the present. He hold up, did she 276 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:08,160 Speaker 1: end the damn that? Yall? That's how she ended it? 277 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:10,480 Speaker 1: How you gonna get me all excited for the damn 278 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:13,560 Speaker 1: story and then stop right there, damn you. Oh my god, 279 00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:16,280 Speaker 1: that's some bullshit. I think she did this shit on purpose, 280 00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:19,640 Speaker 1: because how the fuck well, I'm about to give you 281 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:24,480 Speaker 1: advice from where you began the story until now, and 282 00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:26,280 Speaker 1: then you can give me the second part, because I'm 283 00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:28,440 Speaker 1: damn sure gonna write you back and ask you what 284 00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:30,720 Speaker 1: the fuck is he doing now in the present, because 285 00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:32,760 Speaker 1: you fast forward to the present and then said he 286 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:35,280 Speaker 1: and then stopped like he caught you about to tell 287 00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:36,960 Speaker 1: me his business or something, and said, bitch, give me 288 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:40,000 Speaker 1: the phone. Shit. All right. So you've been on and 289 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,240 Speaker 1: off with your baby daddy for the past ten years, 290 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:45,880 Speaker 1: all right, But he also been dealing with one of 291 00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:49,840 Speaker 1: his other baby mothers, who obviously their child is older. 292 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,160 Speaker 1: You said he been dealing with her for fifteen plus years. 293 00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:55,000 Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know if that if he had 294 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:58,440 Speaker 1: a baby with you before her, But you come second. 295 00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:01,400 Speaker 1: It's basically what you're telling me. You've never been first, 296 00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:04,960 Speaker 1: is what you also are telling me, because he's never 297 00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:07,600 Speaker 1: left her alone. If it's been fifteen years for her 298 00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:10,160 Speaker 1: and ten years for you, you was the other woman. 299 00:15:10,880 --> 00:15:12,800 Speaker 1: You know, and then she could still be the other 300 00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:15,880 Speaker 1: woman as well. Shit, because what if it's a bitch 301 00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:18,160 Speaker 1: that y'all ain't find out about yet that he been 302 00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:21,200 Speaker 1: around for twenty You know what I'm saying, that you 303 00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:23,920 Speaker 1: just never know. You said, y'all went through a rough 304 00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:26,120 Speaker 1: patch for about a year. Y'all ain't fuck, y'all ain't 305 00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:28,760 Speaker 1: do nothing but just cole parent. And you said that's 306 00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:30,640 Speaker 1: when you did the most because you was heartbroken and 307 00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:32,760 Speaker 1: all of that shit. And then you was basically out 308 00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:35,720 Speaker 1: here on your sexy red shit. You know, you ain't 309 00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:38,400 Speaker 1: say you was the raw dog queen, but you out 310 00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:41,560 Speaker 1: here skiing is what you admitted. And it's all right. 311 00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:43,880 Speaker 1: A lot of women have that phase in their lives. 312 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:46,160 Speaker 1: It could be before love, after love, all their lives. 313 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:49,320 Speaker 1: It don't matter, you know what I'm saying. So something 314 00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:51,280 Speaker 1: you did say that I did not like. I want 315 00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:57,080 Speaker 1: women to stop fucking doing. Is reducing themselves. This reminds 316 00:15:57,120 --> 00:15:59,120 Speaker 1: me of what I just said to the girl with 317 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:05,000 Speaker 1: the first story. This is again you diminishing yourself. You know, 318 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:11,000 Speaker 1: you are allowing a man to have more than one woman. 319 00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:13,960 Speaker 1: And what I mean by allowing him because you can't 320 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,560 Speaker 1: make him choose you and only you. You know what 321 00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:19,960 Speaker 1: I'm saying, He dealing with y'all for convenience. Like when 322 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:22,360 Speaker 1: it comes to his convenience, he probably beefing with the 323 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:25,120 Speaker 1: other bib mother. So that's why he fucking called you. Yeah, 324 00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:28,360 Speaker 1: he beefing with her. Shit. Yeah, of course he gonna 325 00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:30,960 Speaker 1: call you. And if he was beefing with you and 326 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:33,360 Speaker 1: he got into some legal trouble behind you, he would 327 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:36,920 Speaker 1: call her. Do you not see? Sister, Sister Tya and Tamara? 328 00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:40,320 Speaker 1: Do you not see? That's what y'all are in his eyes, 329 00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:43,520 Speaker 1: twin baby Mama, because y'all both do the same shit 330 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:48,240 Speaker 1: for him. That's exactly what y'all are. And that's some bullshit. 331 00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:52,120 Speaker 1: And sometimes it takes for me to repeat your mess 332 00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:55,200 Speaker 1: back to you for you to fix it your damn self. 333 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:58,920 Speaker 1: That's crazy. I know, he your baby daddy. You won't 334 00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:02,920 Speaker 1: always have to deal with him being around, in him 335 00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:06,280 Speaker 1: being in your life because he is the father of 336 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:10,360 Speaker 1: your child or children, you know what I'm saying. However, 337 00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:13,840 Speaker 1: he's never going to choose only you. I don't care 338 00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:15,719 Speaker 1: how many kids you lay down and have with him. 339 00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:19,239 Speaker 1: He's not gonna ever only choose you. You know why, 340 00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:22,680 Speaker 1: because you're never going to demand that. You don't demand 341 00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:25,359 Speaker 1: that respect from him. You just sat here and told 342 00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:28,000 Speaker 1: me that you and the other baby mother knew that 343 00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:29,680 Speaker 1: he was dealing with both of y'all at the same time. 344 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:33,080 Speaker 1: Y'all just both accepted it and handled him accordingly. That 345 00:17:33,119 --> 00:17:35,840 Speaker 1: basically mean y'all went along with it. That's all probably 346 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:37,640 Speaker 1: gave him a little bit of lip and a little 347 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:40,320 Speaker 1: bit of tantrum, and you know, did whatever y'all thought 348 00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:42,720 Speaker 1: was gonna hurt his feelings. But baby, if y'all still 349 00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:45,240 Speaker 1: at the end of the day laying down with him 350 00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:49,520 Speaker 1: and still jumping when he's say, jump, or doing things 351 00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:52,320 Speaker 1: for him, or sleeping with him when it's convenient or whatever, 352 00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:55,080 Speaker 1: or when you know he's mad and beefing with the 353 00:17:55,119 --> 00:17:58,159 Speaker 1: other one, that's when he over there with you. You know, 354 00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:01,560 Speaker 1: it doesn't matter. All three of y'all may as well 355 00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:04,520 Speaker 1: be in a polyamorous relationship. You know, I know you're 356 00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:06,600 Speaker 1: not attracted to her. I don't know, but I'm gonna 357 00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:10,600 Speaker 1: just say that. But that polyamorous thing was literally just me, 358 00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:14,000 Speaker 1: you know, being sarcastic. But that's what that is. You 359 00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:16,560 Speaker 1: already know. I mean, well, It's an open relationship, ain't it, y'all? 360 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:19,120 Speaker 1: Just both still mad about each other. When you feel 361 00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:21,159 Speaker 1: that he favors her more, you get upset. You just 362 00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:22,760 Speaker 1: said you do the fucking most, and you go out 363 00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:25,600 Speaker 1: and you start hoing, you know what I mean. Common 364 00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:28,679 Speaker 1: denominator is him. Get rid of him, Learn how to 365 00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:32,560 Speaker 1: co parent without co fucking him. Learn how to co 366 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:36,240 Speaker 1: parent without still being his doormat. Learn how to do that. 367 00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:39,879 Speaker 1: A lot of women do this shit too often, you know, 368 00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:42,800 Speaker 1: more often than not. I can't stand it. Know you're 369 00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:46,720 Speaker 1: fucking worth and that's so cliche, but I'm never gonna 370 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:48,960 Speaker 1: stop saying it to women, because you need to know. 371 00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:52,119 Speaker 1: If you don't know, do shit to increase and to 372 00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:56,359 Speaker 1: promote self love for yourself. You need to love yourself. 373 00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:58,920 Speaker 1: I'm not saying you hate yourself, but you damn sure 374 00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:01,520 Speaker 1: don't love yourself more than you love that man. I'm 375 00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:04,440 Speaker 1: gonna tell you that because you dropped everything and ran 376 00:19:05,119 --> 00:19:07,480 Speaker 1: and he called you because he needed you, Because he 377 00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:10,000 Speaker 1: needed you, that's probably the only time he call you 378 00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:13,760 Speaker 1: when he needs you for something. And yes, it feels 379 00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:16,960 Speaker 1: good to be needed. It feels good until you need 380 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:20,080 Speaker 1: the same motherfucker. That needed you. You understand what I'm saying. 381 00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:23,399 Speaker 1: It feels good into a motherfucker keep needing you and 382 00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:27,600 Speaker 1: you're not getting anything back, not even love and honesty 383 00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:33,400 Speaker 1: like that type of shit, you know what I'm saying, Loyalty, faithfulness, 384 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:37,320 Speaker 1: all of that shit, Compliments, back rubs and talking about 385 00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:40,199 Speaker 1: no judgment. He makes you feel good. It's only you 386 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:43,000 Speaker 1: and him when you all together, it's only about you. 387 00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:46,679 Speaker 1: It's about you when y'all ain't together. That's what the 388 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:48,720 Speaker 1: fuck you want. That's what every woman wants. I don't 389 00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:51,400 Speaker 1: give a fuck who turns their head away and who 390 00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:53,680 Speaker 1: driving in a car listening to this shit right now 391 00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:56,760 Speaker 1: disagreeing with me. Every woman want that. I'm not a man, 392 00:19:56,800 --> 00:20:00,480 Speaker 1: so I can't speak for them. But listen, everyone want 393 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:02,960 Speaker 1: that shit, whether you want it from another woman or 394 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:04,879 Speaker 1: from a man, or from a group of people. That's 395 00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:07,040 Speaker 1: what the fuck you want a group of people at 396 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,720 Speaker 1: one time, you know what I'm saying. Because everybody like 397 00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:12,280 Speaker 1: different shit. They got different purposes. But everybody wants to 398 00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:16,040 Speaker 1: be loved. That's one thing we all have in common. 399 00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:21,960 Speaker 1: Everybody wants to be loved. Okay, so I think you 400 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:24,600 Speaker 1: should pay attention to who you are. You know what 401 00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:27,520 Speaker 1: I'm saying, because another man could be making you the 402 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:30,879 Speaker 1: happiest woman that you've ever been, you know what I'm saying, 403 00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:34,639 Speaker 1: and you could be making the right man the happiest 404 00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:38,679 Speaker 1: man that he's ever been. So update me, girl. I 405 00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:41,320 Speaker 1: need to know what the fast forward was looking like. 406 00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:43,919 Speaker 1: I need to know what today is looking like, so 407 00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:46,480 Speaker 1: I can give you further advice if you come back, 408 00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:50,280 Speaker 1: if you come back, because sometimes I fix somebody mess 409 00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:53,120 Speaker 1: and I gave it to him to blunt and they'd 410 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:56,280 Speaker 1: be like, fuck Jess, I ain't talking back guard, but 411 00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:59,320 Speaker 1: that's the risk that you run when you let me 412 00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:01,200 Speaker 1: all in your busines this. I'm not in your business 413 00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:03,600 Speaker 1: just to tell everybody what the fuck you're going through. 414 00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:06,879 Speaker 1: I'm literally here to help fix your mess. We just 415 00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:09,000 Speaker 1: got listeners because I'm telling you ain't the only one 416 00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:13,080 Speaker 1: going through what you sent me. So that's why we 417 00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:15,359 Speaker 1: do this shit. That's why people listen. You know what 418 00:21:15,359 --> 00:21:18,639 Speaker 1: I'm saying. But guess what. We've come to the end 419 00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:20,760 Speaker 1: of this episode, and I know y'all gonna be looking 420 00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:23,600 Speaker 1: forward to the next week's one because that's when we'll 421 00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:27,000 Speaker 1: be able to pick up with his last story left off. Okay, okay, 422 00:21:27,160 --> 00:22:41,560 Speaker 1: so in my deepest paying voice next week, y'all Can't 423 00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:44,479 Speaker 1: Fully Reckless is a production of iHeart Radio and The 424 00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:47,879 Speaker 1: Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeart Radio, visit the 425 00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:51,719 Speaker 1: iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your 426 00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:52,399 Speaker 1: favorite shows.