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Speaker 1: This is the DS with Eddie Judge and Edwin Aroyave

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Speaker 1: the husbands know best too, Cheese production. Can you believe

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Speaker 1: we'rere episode five already?

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Speaker 2: Man? It is flying by.

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Speaker 1: We are back for episode five, and since Mother's Day

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Speaker 1: is right around the corner, we're going to talk about motherhood.

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Speaker 3: Yes, and Happy Mother's Day to all the beautiful moms

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Speaker 3: out there.

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Speaker 1: All the beautiful moms. Hey, real quick before we get going,

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Speaker 1: do you have the same holiday as my? Well, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you're Latin American. In Latin American they celebrated on the

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Speaker 1: tenth and in America they celebrated every Sunday, right maybe yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: so it's.

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Speaker 3: The tenth, But I just always usually celebrated on Sunday.

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Speaker 2: You know. Funny story, man.

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Speaker 3: So this three days ago, Teddy's assistant sends me a text, Hey,

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Speaker 3: Mother's Day's coming up, Mark. I don't know when I

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Speaker 3: think of Mother's Day, I still think of my mom. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: like I still think of mom my mom first and

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Speaker 3: then Teddy. Which I'm probably gonna in trouble for saying.

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Speaker 2: That, but yes you will. So I'm like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 2: can you get give me some stuff from alo My?

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Speaker 2: I'm like, she loves alo and then she sends me

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Speaker 2: like this black sweatsuit, right, and and I'm like, no,

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Speaker 2: she likes colorful. She likes everything very colorful. And anyways,

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Speaker 2: I'm on my call and then I'm like, oh, shoot,

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Speaker 2: she's talking about Teddy. I'm like, hey, by the way,

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Speaker 2: I was talking about my mom, not Teddy. So like seriously,

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Speaker 2: I'm just like, I'm such a mama's boy. You know

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Speaker 2: my dad, you know, before he went in jail, like

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Speaker 2: he said, hey, you got one thing I want you

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Speaker 2: to always remember. He's like, you got one mom. You

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Speaker 2: need to take care of her.

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Speaker 3: And you know, things are you know, one of my

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Speaker 3: mentors ed, my lad always says things are caught, not taught.

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Speaker 3: And I always saw how much my dad would take

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Speaker 3: care of his mom. Yeah, and it's why I've always

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Speaker 3: taken care of my mom because as a kid, I'd

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Speaker 3: always see my dad like my dad would always get

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Speaker 3: in front of, you know, my mom and say, hey,

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Speaker 3: don't mess with my mom, right, And I would see that,

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Speaker 3: and I've sort of become the same way. And then

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Speaker 3: that's why I visit moms every Saturday, my kids. I

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Speaker 3: take my kids with me because I want them to see, Hey,

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Speaker 3: you got one mom, you take care of her first.

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Speaker 3: You know, you know your mom's not going to be

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Speaker 3: around as long as maybe your wife, right, so you

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Speaker 3: want to make sure that you're taking care of mom.

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Speaker 3: So anyways, I have this thing where I'm such a

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Speaker 3: big mama's boy that I'm like, Mother's Day is like

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Speaker 3: my Mom's Day, but you know Teddy.

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Speaker 2: Then I go celebrate with Teddy as well. But yeah,

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Speaker 2: I got to get better at it.

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Speaker 1: Well, I was just going to say, and it's very

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Speaker 1: convenient to have a Latin American Mother's Day and then

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Speaker 1: a regular American Mother's Day because you can celebrate it

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Speaker 1: in two separate days. I mean, I don't I don't

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Speaker 1: know how it goes when you're celebrating your mom and

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Speaker 1: your wife and you know, maybe another generation of moms,

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Speaker 1: you know, all at the same time.

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Speaker 3: Teddy loves them when I celebrate both of them at

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Speaker 3: the same time, and they get matching.

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Speaker 1: Gifts, so there's no jealousy. That's hilarious. Well, let me

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Speaker 1: let me ask you this. When you were looking for

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Speaker 1: a partner, how much did motherhood contribute to your decision?

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Speaker 1: I think you hit on this a little bit, But

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Speaker 1: tell me a little bit more about why Teddy.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I think that was one of the number

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Speaker 3: one reasons that I decided that I wanted to marry her.

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Speaker 3: In fact, now as I look back at pictures, there's

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Speaker 3: a picture of her of Teddy basically raising Bella. My

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Speaker 3: daughter is a Bella like this when she's a year old,

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Speaker 3: and there's like this big smile. I'm looking at Teddy

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Speaker 3: the way she's holding my daughter, and I knew that.

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Speaker 3: I remember that moment like it was yesterday, because I'm like,

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Speaker 3: she's the one I need, because you know, you always

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Speaker 3: want to at least for me, I wanted to marry

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Speaker 3: someone that I knew would be a good mom. More

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Speaker 3: than anything. I wanted that. I wanted to marry someone

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Speaker 3: that was going to be a good mom, and.

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Speaker 1: Teddy's exceeded all those expectations. Can you tell me a

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Speaker 1: little bit about what your mom did to embed that?

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Speaker 1: And You're like, well, obviously we get this from our parents.

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Speaker 1: We are our parents, right, So what did you learn

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Speaker 1: from your mom that that kind of solidified that you

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Speaker 1: want that from a partner.

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Speaker 3: You know, we had humble beginnings, right, so we didn't

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Speaker 3: have much I mentioned on the first episode that we

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Speaker 3: lived in this tiny little bedroom without any windows. Right,

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Speaker 3: it was four of us living in this bedroom, so

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Speaker 3: it wasn't the best living conditions. But I always had love.

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Speaker 3: My mom always showed me a lot of love, and

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Speaker 3: that's the one part I remembered. And she would always like,

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Speaker 3: figure out a way to put me in sports and

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Speaker 3: just get me out of like potential t bubble. And

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Speaker 3: she just worked her butt off for us, and I

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Speaker 3: saw how much she cared, and it.

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Speaker 2: Just really I felt the love.

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Speaker 3: And I'm like, I want to I want to be

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Speaker 3: able to show that, and I want the person I

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Speaker 3: marry to be able to show that to my kids.

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Speaker 2: Is that love?

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Speaker 3: And and Teddy's great with that, And again it's it's

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Speaker 3: one of the reasons why I was like, this is

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Speaker 3: going to be my wife. Yeah, yeah, what about you?

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Speaker 3: What do you think about that? Is was obviously yours

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Speaker 3: you met, uh. I think when you got married, Tamara

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Speaker 3: obviously had kids, right was it three year?

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Speaker 2: How many kids? Four?

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Speaker 1: She had four, Ryan, Spencer, Sophia, and Sydney. And when

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Speaker 1: I first met her, Ryan was already an adult essentially,

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Speaker 1: you know, he wasn't a kid kid and Sophia was

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Speaker 1: the littlest kid, and she was just so uh, neutral

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Speaker 1: and open and loving and and and playful, you know,

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Speaker 1: just like most kids are at that age. And Sydney

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Speaker 1: and Spencer were about the same age. They were, I

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Speaker 1: think in their teenage years, and they were a little

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Speaker 1: bit you know, standoffish because of all the negative stuff

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Speaker 1: that their father would put in their head. Right, I mean,

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Speaker 1: at least the first two years they they didn't want

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Speaker 1: to be around me. You can totally see that as

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Speaker 1: they got older and things changed between you know, what

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Speaker 1: they knew and what they learned, they figured it out

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Speaker 1: and they realized, Okay, maybe Eddie is not such a

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Speaker 1: bad guy, you know. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: You know what I think is is so cool is

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Speaker 3: that you know, sometimes women that you know, maybe get

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Speaker 3: divorced or have kids, they think, oh, no, one's gonna

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Speaker 3: want to marry me because I don't because I have kids.

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Speaker 2: Now, what's going to want that? Right? And I think

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Speaker 2: it was so great that you didn't even care about that, right?

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Speaker 3: Was it was that something that ever crossed your mind, like,

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Speaker 3: I don't know if I want to marry her because

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Speaker 3: she's got kids.

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Speaker 2: Did that ever crossed your mind or was it? Did

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Speaker 2: you just know, like, Okay.

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Speaker 1: That's actually a very good question, because I've thought about

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Speaker 1: that many times, Like, you know, sitting here, how did

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Speaker 1: I end up in a relationship with four kids that

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Speaker 1: are not mine?

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Speaker 2: You know, especially because you didn't have any kids either, right, right?

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Speaker 1: Right? I don't have any kids in my own and

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Speaker 1: that's because I never wanted kids in my own. Tama

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Speaker 1: and I have talked about this before. It was one

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Speaker 1: of those kind of things about, well, I didn't have

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Speaker 1: a really great upbringing, you know, a stable upbringing, if

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Speaker 1: you will. I kind of had to do it all

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Speaker 1: on my own. And I always had this thought like

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Speaker 1: why would I bring a child into this world that

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Speaker 1: is so difficult, so hard, And you know, I had love,

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Speaker 1: I had family, I had affection, but you know, we

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Speaker 1: didn't get to do a whole lot of things, you know,

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Speaker 1: And that was just my mentality growing up. The other part,

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Speaker 1: the other side of it, was understanding. When I finally

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Speaker 1: understood okay, you need money to do things, I thought, well,

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Speaker 1: if I can't support myself, then how the hell am

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Speaker 1: I going to support another being? And it wasn't until

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Speaker 1: I can make enough money and make a good living

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Speaker 1: that I could, you know, afford to have a child.

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Speaker 1: And by then, I think I was in my mid

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Speaker 1: thirties and I was already kind of thinking I really

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Speaker 1: don't want children at this point in my life. You know,

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Speaker 1: it would have been nice and maybe in my mid

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Speaker 1: twenties if I was financially stable and it all made sense.

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Speaker 1: But that's I think those are the two reasons why

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Speaker 1: I never had kids of my own. And interestingly enough,

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Speaker 1: this is the other thought that always comes through my head.

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Speaker 1: I've dated a lot of women in my life that

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Speaker 1: have had children, you know, whether it's one or two kids,

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Speaker 1: and I never never considered it as a problem. Like,

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Speaker 1: you know, I had a relationship with a woman who

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Speaker 1: had two kids, and my experience was that she took

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Speaker 1: care of them. She was there, her responsibility and her

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Speaker 1: mother and when it came to me, I really couldn't

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Speaker 1: step in as a father because their father was still

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Speaker 1: alive and still in the picture. But she made damn

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Speaker 1: sure that those kids respected me, and they respected everybody

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Speaker 1: at any adult in their life. Right. So that's kind

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Speaker 1: of the only experience I had where Okay, so this

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Speaker 1: is how it can work, you know. But I was

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Speaker 1: still scared. I was scared that you know, I'm not

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Speaker 1: going to be able to afford to raise the child, right,

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Speaker 1: It's expensive.

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Speaker 3: Seriously, I love that answer so much because there's probably

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Speaker 3: a lot of women out there that are in relationships

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Speaker 3: right now that they know they wi want to leave,

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Speaker 3: but they're like, they're afraid they'll never be able to

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Speaker 3: find someone better. And you know, you're you're a great

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Speaker 3: testament that there are some great guys out there if

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Speaker 3: you're not in a good place, right, because I know

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Speaker 3: there's a lot of women that are fearful of that,

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Speaker 3: like if I leave, I have three kids, kids, and no,

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Speaker 3: they're not I'm not going to be able to find anyone.

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Speaker 3: And there's always someone, right, especially if you're not in

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Speaker 3: a good relationship. And you know, I know many women

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Speaker 3: that stay unfortunately abusive relationships just because they're scared to

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Speaker 3: be alone, right, Because again, they're a great example of that.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, man, yeah.

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Speaker 1: Well that was a deep them.

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Speaker 3: By the way, one of the things that you said

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Speaker 3: actually makes a lot of sense to me as far

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Speaker 3: as like you know, looking at your children as like

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Speaker 3: it costs a lot of money to have children, and

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Speaker 3: at least for me, I mean, if it was up

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Speaker 3: to me, I'd have more kids. But sometimes if you

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Speaker 3: have a ton of them, you're kind of taking away

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Speaker 3: from the other ones because if you don't have enough

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Speaker 3: to support all of them, and you're sort of taking

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Speaker 3: some options and opportunities from your other kids.

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Speaker 2: If you just decide to have.

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Speaker 3: You know, eight kids, all of a sudden, you have

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Speaker 3: eight kids. You can't send all of them to private school,

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Speaker 3: right or you better be making more money if you're

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Speaker 3: gonna have eight kids. Yeah, you know, you just there's

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Speaker 3: certain things that get taken away if you have too many.

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Speaker 3: So I've always been to that thinking as well as like,

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Speaker 3: can I afford to have another kid so I could

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Speaker 3: give them the things that I want.

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Speaker 2: To be able to provide for them, you know.

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Speaker 3: So again, some people don't think about that. I'm not

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Speaker 3: saying it's right or wrong. I'm just saying I thought

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Speaker 3: about it that way, where Okay, four I can handle.

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Speaker 3: I don't know if I could finance, well, I might

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Speaker 3: be able to handle another one. But that's another story

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Speaker 3: for Teddy.

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Speaker 1: Well. The interesting thing is that my grandmother, who was

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Speaker 1: the one that brought me to the United States, she

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Speaker 1: had eight kids, so I have like four or five

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Speaker 1: uncles and my aunt and my mom, and they didn't

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Speaker 1: grow up with money. You know, they didn't have money.

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Speaker 1: But how she and she pretty much raised them on

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Speaker 1: her own. So how the hell did she do it?

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Speaker 2: You know?

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Speaker 1: And and and you know it was love, right raise them? Love? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Love and affection I think is the most valuable commodity

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Speaker 1: out there. If you don't And honestly, you can grow

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Speaker 1: up with all the money in the world, but if

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Speaker 1: you don't have love, it's empty. It's an empty life.

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Speaker 1: I have a question for you. I just found out

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Speaker 1: that Slate and Cruise were conceived via I v F

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Speaker 1: and Dove was natural.

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Speaker 2: One.

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Speaker 1: What was that like going through I v F.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, So Teddy had a hard time with getting pregnant,

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Speaker 3: and when we first had Slate, in my head, I

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Speaker 3: always thought like, you're gonna have nothing but girls like

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Speaker 3: that was literally my thought, right, So when we we're

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Speaker 3: gonna do IBF again, I'm.

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Speaker 2: Like, man, I gotta have a boy. Like what if

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Speaker 2: I end up not having a boy?

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Speaker 1: Like?

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Speaker 2: I want my boy.

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Speaker 3: So I actually asked Teddy, well, if we're gonna go

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Speaker 3: kind of the first level, why don't we take it

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Speaker 3: all the way and let's ensure that I have a boy.

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Speaker 1: But you can do this in IBF.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you can do that in IBF. It's like a

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Speaker 3: second you know. I'm sure Teddy can explain it better,

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Speaker 3: but yeah, it's like a second level of or third

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Speaker 3: level where you can pick the sex of the baby.

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Speaker 1: So it sounds like like you can design your own baby.

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Speaker 3: Well, that's why I had a problem with it because

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Speaker 3: for vanity reasons, I kind of wanted my boy. I

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Speaker 3: just wanted a boy that you know, everybody wants their boy. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: And the way they do it is obviously they get

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Speaker 3: the eggs, they get the sperm, they mix it and

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Speaker 3: then it'll tell you you got x many girls, you

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Speaker 3: got x many.

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Speaker 2: Boys, right, wow.

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Speaker 3: Well we did it three different times and it kept failing.

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Speaker 3: But each time we did it, I'm not exaggerating, it

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Speaker 3: was ninety five percent female and like one boy, so

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Speaker 3: we of course put the one boy in. The first

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Speaker 3: one she had a miscarriage. Then we did a second

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Speaker 3: round and same thing, ninety five percent.

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Speaker 2: Girls, one boy.

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Speaker 3: We put the boy in didn't make it. So finally

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Speaker 3: on the last one we did it again, and this

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Speaker 3: time I told Teddy Hey, it doesn't work. It's not

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Speaker 3: meant to be. Maybe it's not meant for me to

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Speaker 3: have boys, right, And we did it again and it worked.

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Speaker 3: And then but the whole time I.

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Speaker 2: Was struggling with it because I'm like, am I trying

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Speaker 2: to play god here? Like I didn't feel right about it,

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Speaker 2: and because every time it was a miscarriage.

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Speaker 3: Well, all of a sudden, six months passed by. Everything's

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Speaker 3: great anyway. The day of the birth, I'm in my

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Speaker 3: head about it and I'm like, I hope nothing goes

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Speaker 3: wrong today because I did this because I was struggling

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Speaker 3: with it. It wasn't an easy decision for me. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and then sure enough Cruz comes out and he's not breathing.

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Speaker 3: And then all of a sudden, I don't know, fifteen

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Speaker 3: doctors come in. They pushed me to the side. You know,

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Speaker 3: my mom's in there, my sister's in there there crying.

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Speaker 3: I can't see. I'm trying to look over to see

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Speaker 3: what's up with Cruise, and it's just silence. And then Teddy.

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Speaker 3: I just hear Teddy screaming, like, what's wrong with the baby.

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Speaker 3: What's wrong with the baby? You don't hear a cry,

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Speaker 3: it's silent for I want to say at least a minute.

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Speaker 3: It felt like fifteen, and all of a sudden he

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Speaker 3: cries and everything's fine, but then they take them immediately

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Speaker 3: out and he spent the entire night in the nick

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Speaker 3: you and I think he was there for a couple

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Speaker 3: of days, and it was just scary. And while that

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Speaker 3: was going on, I was like praying to God. I

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Speaker 3: was like, God, I'll never do that again. Please, just

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Speaker 3: you know, save them. I promise you I'll never do

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Speaker 3: it again. And that was it and I'll never do

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Speaker 3: it again. And then with Dove, we you know, it

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Speaker 3: came natural. We're like, we weren't expecting it were.

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Speaker 2: Like, what you could have a baby. And then there

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Speaker 2: was this.

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Speaker 3: Slight hope that she would be a boy because I

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Speaker 3: wanted two boys and two girls, like that would be perfect.

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Speaker 3: And I was like, it's going to be a boy.

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Speaker 3: I know it's going to be a boy.

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Speaker 2: Sure enough.

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Speaker 3: Another female. So I'm a female maker, Yes you are.

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Speaker 2: I would have had.

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Speaker 3: I'm if we would have done if we wouldn't have

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Speaker 3: done IBF, I would have had nothing but girls.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And I just have had friends that have had that

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Speaker 1: scenario where there's like fifteen girls in the house and

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Speaker 1: they're just going crazy.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and then there's some males that just have nothing,

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Speaker 3: but I mean some some guys that just have nothing

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Speaker 3: but boys. Yeah, that's funny because I hear the guys

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Speaker 3: the one that actually determines what sex comes out this

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Speaker 3: from when I yeah.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, but I've heard rumors that it depends on,

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Speaker 1: you know, how you do it, if it's you know, missionary,

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Speaker 1: or if it's you know, other animals.

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Speaker 2: I did all kinds of positions didn't work for me.

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Speaker 2: It was off. So tell me we saw what a

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Speaker 2: robot baby? She's a nine on the show? What was

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Speaker 2: that about or whose idea was that?

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Speaker 1: Well, you know, it was the same subject about do

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Speaker 1: I want kids? I can't tell you. If I had

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Speaker 1: a dollar for every time somebody asked me that question,

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Speaker 1: I think I'd make a lot of money. But it

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Speaker 1: was a scene or an episode. I should say that

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Speaker 1: with film where she asked me, do you you sure

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Speaker 1: you don't want kids? And I said, no, I don't

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Speaker 1: want kids, and they somehow produced a robot child that

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Speaker 1: you literally had to carry like a baby and if

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Speaker 1: it starts crying, you put your finger in its mouth,

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Speaker 1: or you put the bottle in its mouth like a

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Speaker 1: real baby, and every single and it's kind of random,

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Speaker 1: how it's computerized and it cries randomly, and it was

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Speaker 1: probably as real as it could get to having a baby.

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Speaker 1: And here's the thing about me and kids. There's there's

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Speaker 1: one thing that I do know about me and babies.

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Speaker 1: They seem so fragile to me that I was always

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Speaker 1: afraid of picking up babies. You know, I was that

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Speaker 1: guy like I don't want to pick it up. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna heard it, I'm gonna squeeze it. You know, it's

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Speaker 1: so fragile. So I was afraid of babies. But when

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Speaker 1: it's a robot baby, I was a little bit more relaxed.

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Speaker 1: They're like, okay, I could do with And we ended

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Speaker 1: up taking turns, and you know, she took care of

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Speaker 1: him when he cried. I took care of when he cried.

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Speaker 1: I think we named them astro like, oh, I love that.

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Speaker 1: I think it came from the Jetsons.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I remember that.

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Speaker 1: But I knew we weren't meant to have kids because

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Speaker 1: I think by day three or four, the baby wouldn't

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Speaker 1: stop crying. And Tamra took it downstairs, came back to sleep,

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Speaker 1: and the next morning I found the baby in the

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Speaker 1: couch behind the pillows, not breathing. So I said, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we're not gonna have kids. Yeah, it was funny, it

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Speaker 1: was a good time. It was interesting to experience that though.

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Speaker 1: You know, one thing that I do, I think you've

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Speaker 1: shared it with me too. But every guy I know,

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Speaker 1: every friend that I know that has ever shared their

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Speaker 1: experience about having a kid, and that whole birth experience,

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Speaker 1: it's like the most magical experience you ever experienced in life,

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Speaker 1: right like, this is this is you, this is part

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Speaker 1: of you coming to the world. That's probably something I

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Speaker 1: will never experience in my life. And that's probably the

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Speaker 1: only thing that I regret not having in life, you know,

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Speaker 1: But there's so many other things in life that I

384
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Speaker 1: experience that you know, I am very fortunate to be

385
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Speaker 1: in love and in a relationship where I just I

386
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Speaker 1: adore my wife and I know I can't imagine life

387
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Speaker 1: without her, you know. It's I adore the kid. I

388
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Speaker 1: just this is this is a good life. You know.

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Speaker 1: I'm not deprived in any way, you know, But that's

390
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Speaker 1: that's the only thing that every friend of mine, male

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Speaker 1: even just male friend of mine just told me like,

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Speaker 1: this is the most magical experience you'll ever have in

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Speaker 1: your life.

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Speaker 3: So, speaking of magical experiences, I decided because it's such

395
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Speaker 3: a magical experience. When Teddy was having the baby, I

396
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Speaker 3: filmed the whole thing.

397
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Speaker 2: Really. I was so excited, like literally filmed the baby's

398
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Speaker 2: head coming out. And I was so excited that I

399
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:39,920
Speaker 2: sent the video to John, her dad, her sister Mice,

400
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Speaker 2: and he was so upset, Why did you show my

401
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:47,240
Speaker 2: vagina to everyone? But I was just so excited. I

402
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,720
Speaker 2: was like, oh shit, I got this on video, Like

403
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Speaker 2: dad's gonna want her dad's gonna want to see this

404
00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:55,560
Speaker 2: magical moment. So, like a dumbass, I sent a video

405
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Speaker 2: to her dad or sister, and you know, so they

406
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Speaker 2: still make fun of me because I sent you know, Dad,

407
00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:05,760
Speaker 2: he's jj going baby coming out, So yeah, who knows,

408
00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:07,399
Speaker 2: Maybe I'll send you the video you can watch the

409
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Speaker 2: magical moment. What advice You've obviously been a great step dad,

410
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Speaker 2: what advice would you give to someone that is maybe

411
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Speaker 2: just got married to someone that has you know, kids,

412
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Speaker 2: and you know what, what's I guess the best advice

413
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Speaker 2: you you would give for somebody stepping into that step

414
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Speaker 2: dad role.

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Speaker 1: I would say, I mean, it depends on a lot

416
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Speaker 1: of variables. Because if you have a dad who's just

417
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Speaker 1: a but he's still a dad and and is willing

418
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Speaker 1: to be a part of the children's life, you can't

419
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Speaker 1: you can't take that role, you know, those that's the

420
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Speaker 1: father's role. So your role is just to be there

421
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Speaker 1: and be a positive role model for the children and

422
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Speaker 1: if they need anything, you help, you let them come

423
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Speaker 1: to you. Essentially. That's that's just my experience, right. There's

424
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Speaker 1: there's been other you know, friends that are been in

425
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Speaker 1: my shoes that say, you know, opposite, they want to

426
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Speaker 1: take an active role, they want to be there and

427
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Speaker 1: and sort of prevent the kids from going, you know,

428
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Speaker 1: rogue because their father is such a right in other

429
00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:30,439
Speaker 1: circumstances which I've never experienced, where the father is not

430
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Speaker 1: in the picture or he's a deadbeat dad, that's that's

431
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Speaker 1: where I would step in and say, okay, kids, whatever

432
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Speaker 1: you need, anytime you need them, and and and you know,

433
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Speaker 1: follow through as a real like step father where you're

434
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Speaker 1: in there being the father role.

435
00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:46,120
Speaker 2: Right.

436
00:22:47,359 --> 00:22:50,439
Speaker 1: But I just felt that always if the dad is

437
00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:52,960
Speaker 1: willing to do or be a part, no matter what

438
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:55,920
Speaker 1: much of it is. If he's willing to be part

439
00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:59,280
Speaker 1: of the children's life, you can't take that role. You

440
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:02,920
Speaker 1: can't be a step dad, right, You can't really have

441
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:07,560
Speaker 1: two dads. The father's role is equally as important as

442
00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:10,919
Speaker 1: the mother's role, and you can't. You can't blur that

443
00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:14,960
Speaker 1: by saying, well, I'm your dad too, right, right, Yeah,

444
00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:17,000
Speaker 1: it'll be mixed signals to the kids.

445
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:18,760
Speaker 2: So were you.

446
00:23:20,119 --> 00:23:22,639
Speaker 3: More of had to be a dad or were you

447
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:25,879
Speaker 3: able to maybe not be as much as involved with

448
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:28,359
Speaker 3: like dad decisions because dad has been around.

449
00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:32,000
Speaker 1: No, I wasn't as involved with dad decisions because dad

450
00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:36,240
Speaker 1: was around, and that was typically something that that was

451
00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:40,119
Speaker 1: a triage between Tamra and her ex and the kids.

452
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:44,040
Speaker 1: You know, that was their role. So when it came

453
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:49,600
Speaker 1: to you know, particularly disciplinary actions, and I understand why

454
00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:53,280
Speaker 1: she made this decisions she's made before, but at the

455
00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:55,520
Speaker 1: time I was like, how come you're not being disciplinary?

456
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:58,080
Speaker 1: How come you're not you know, disciplining in the kids

457
00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:01,600
Speaker 1: or giving them the structure. Understand it now in hindsight,

458
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:03,679
Speaker 1: but at the time it was like, well, you know,

459
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:06,720
Speaker 1: I don't want to get into this with her. Because

460
00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:09,879
Speaker 1: it's her children and it's his children, and unless she

461
00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:13,439
Speaker 1: wants me to give my advice, I really can't step

462
00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:16,080
Speaker 1: in there and say you should do this, because that

463
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:17,720
Speaker 1: would just cause a fight with us, you know what

464
00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:21,480
Speaker 1: I mean. They're not my kids, they're there kids, and

465
00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:26,800
Speaker 1: they still hold that mutual responsibility of making sure the

466
00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:31,359
Speaker 1: kids are healthy and happy. So yeah, my role was

467
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:35,760
Speaker 1: really just to be a a arm to lean on,

468
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:41,960
Speaker 1: someone you know, to talk to. But unfortunately for the children,

469
00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:45,320
Speaker 1: their father brainwashed them so much that they were afraid

470
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:47,920
Speaker 1: to open up to me or ask me for anything.

471
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:52,240
Speaker 1: And it's not until now like most of the most

472
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:55,080
Speaker 1: of the kids except for Sophia, and she's getting to

473
00:24:55,160 --> 00:25:00,280
Speaker 1: that point where they're starting to feel like comfortable about

474
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:03,959
Speaker 1: themselves and comfortable and having conversations with me and asking

475
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:06,199
Speaker 1: me for stuff. But for a very long time, it

476
00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:09,320
Speaker 1: was very much like no, my dad said, you're a

477
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:11,879
Speaker 1: bad person, and my dad said, you know, not to

478
00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:15,639
Speaker 1: like you. My dad said, it was ingrained in their heads.

479
00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:19,280
Speaker 1: So I understand, you know, if I totally understand what

480
00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:19,840
Speaker 1: they went.

481
00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:23,439
Speaker 3: Through, well, shout out to step dads that are good guys.

482
00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:26,440
Speaker 3: I've been blessed to have you know, my daughter's got

483
00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:29,399
Speaker 3: a stepdad and he's been completely awesome. I couldn't have

484
00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:32,680
Speaker 3: asked for a better step dad on my end, and

485
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:34,720
Speaker 3: I know you've been great as well.

486
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:39,199
Speaker 1: So yeah, and that's actually great. I wish it was

487
00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:41,480
Speaker 1: like that. I wish we could have conversations about the

488
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:43,600
Speaker 1: kids like that, because it really is for the benefit

489
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:46,680
Speaker 1: of the kids. You know, just because your relationship doesn't

490
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:49,880
Speaker 1: work with that person doesn't mean your kids have to suffer.

491
00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:51,440
Speaker 1: So I wish it was like that.

492
00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:53,240
Speaker 2: So I have a.

493
00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:57,080
Speaker 1: Question for you. Tamer was telling me that Teddy has

494
00:25:57,119 --> 00:26:01,359
Speaker 1: been very open about her postpartum struggles. How did you

495
00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:03,359
Speaker 1: show support did that? How do you how do you

496
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:07,359
Speaker 1: help somebody going through postpartum because I heard that's like

497
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:09,240
Speaker 1: a severe case of depression.

498
00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:14,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, I man, I'm I didn't even know it was

499
00:26:14,359 --> 00:26:18,119
Speaker 3: going on. I mean I was so into I mean,

500
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:20,520
Speaker 3: I was working so much that I had no idea

501
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:24,080
Speaker 3: she was even going through that. I want to say

502
00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:31,480
Speaker 3: that I found out because I think I saw what

503
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:36,320
Speaker 3: she was researching, and I was like, she depressed, Why

504
00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:40,560
Speaker 3: is she researching this stuff? And then then that's when

505
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:42,439
Speaker 3: I asked her, and then that's when she told me,

506
00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:43,840
Speaker 3: but I had no idea.

507
00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:45,320
Speaker 2: Well, I just caught.

508
00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:48,320
Speaker 1: It, did you you didn't notice any signs?

509
00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:50,240
Speaker 2: Like she No, I mean she was.

510
00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:53,639
Speaker 3: She was pretty good with like when I got home, like,

511
00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:57,879
Speaker 3: I honestly didn't see her. Maybe I was so into

512
00:26:57,920 --> 00:26:59,920
Speaker 3: my work that I didn't even notice. I mean, it

513
00:26:59,960 --> 00:27:03,800
Speaker 3: was probably more about me not noticing and just you

514
00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:06,520
Speaker 3: know that that's probably my fault on that I probably

515
00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:09,120
Speaker 3: should have seen it. But yeah, no, I That's how

516
00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:09,800
Speaker 3: I found out.

517
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:13,800
Speaker 1: Is when you found out, how did you handle it

518
00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:16,919
Speaker 1: or did you guys get professional help or did you

519
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:20,280
Speaker 1: guys just read and research and figure it out?

520
00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:23,680
Speaker 2: Well, so I asked her, Hey, is are you depressed?

521
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:26,119
Speaker 2: Are you going through? Because you know, I I just

522
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:30,359
Speaker 2: never I don't know much about that kind of stuff.

523
00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:33,399
Speaker 2: You know. I've always been one that's just kind of like, no,

524
00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:37,720
Speaker 2: you just that stuff doesn't exist, right, Yeah, you know.

525
00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:40,560
Speaker 3: Now obviously I know, But at the time, I had

526
00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:42,280
Speaker 3: no idea. I was just like you, just what do

527
00:27:42,359 --> 00:27:44,359
Speaker 3: you mean you just figure stuff out?

528
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:47,639
Speaker 2: Like yeah, like, what do you mean, I don't I

529
00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:48,600
Speaker 2: don't get that stuff.

530
00:27:49,119 --> 00:27:52,359
Speaker 3: And no, yeah, then she you know, she started working

531
00:27:52,359 --> 00:27:54,359
Speaker 3: on herself and and but.

532
00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:58,119
Speaker 2: I don't think she I don't think she got therapy.

533
00:27:58,160 --> 00:28:00,480
Speaker 2: If I'm trying to remember, I don't think she got therapy,

534
00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:08,000
Speaker 2: but or maybe she'd. Yeah, there's those years were.

535
00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:11,560
Speaker 3: I want to say that was probably twenty fourteen. Yeah,

536
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:14,040
Speaker 3: those were those were some of these tough years that

537
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:17,240
Speaker 3: her and I had. So I was kind of I

538
00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:20,159
Speaker 3: was in laala land myself when that was going on.

539
00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:22,920
Speaker 1: It Do you think that's kind of a normal thing

540
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:27,000
Speaker 1: when you get married, you build a life together, and

541
00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:32,840
Speaker 1: you have kids, and then it's another struggle, and then

542
00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:35,679
Speaker 1: the kids finally grow up and leave the house, and

543
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:38,480
Speaker 1: then you're just empty nesters and now it's a struggle

544
00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:41,360
Speaker 1: and you know, all those severe life changes.

545
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:44,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it's just it's like different cycles I

546
00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:47,160
Speaker 3: guess that you're going through. But we were, you know,

547
00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:48,760
Speaker 3: I was working all the time, and then she was

548
00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:49,880
Speaker 3: staying with the kids.

549
00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:51,440
Speaker 2: You know, she was staying at home.

550
00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:54,680
Speaker 3: And she was kind of like I'd come home and

551
00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:57,920
Speaker 3: she'd have her friends there and they'd be you know,

552
00:28:58,600 --> 00:28:59,680
Speaker 3: you know, hanging out.

553
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:01,440
Speaker 2: And you know there's a.

554
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:05,160
Speaker 3: Part too that I was, you know, not upset, but

555
00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:07,200
Speaker 3: I'm like, man, I'm working all day and every time

556
00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:07,760
Speaker 3: I come home.

557
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:10,160
Speaker 2: It's just like the girls are all hanging out, you know,

558
00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:15,520
Speaker 2: like and yeah, and there was like no food and

559
00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:18,160
Speaker 2: I was like, what have you been doing all day?

560
00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:18,400
Speaker 1: Right?

561
00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:19,560
Speaker 2: Yeah?

562
00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:21,600
Speaker 3: So there was a part of now that that was

563
00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:24,120
Speaker 3: just me being selfish at the time, Like I wasn't

564
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:27,240
Speaker 3: you know, I was just not in a good place myself.

565
00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:30,680
Speaker 3: I was, you know, I there was a part of

566
00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:34,600
Speaker 3: me that was just like, Oh, you've been here all day,

567
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:35,720
Speaker 3: what's going on?

568
00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:38,840
Speaker 2: You know, I've been working all day? And it was

569
00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:43,240
Speaker 2: just this it was a me problem at the time.

570
00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:46,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, well I could totally see how that could happen. Yeah,

571
00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:48,880
Speaker 1: when you're when when as an entrepreneur, when you've set

572
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:52,200
Speaker 1: your mind to accomplish something, everything else kind of fades away.

573
00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:55,160
Speaker 1: It becomes a shadow until you come out of it

574
00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:58,040
Speaker 1: and you're like, where am I? Oh I have a family?

575
00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:05,200
Speaker 1: Yeah exactly, Oh, okay, I have kids. Did you see

576
00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:08,720
Speaker 1: Teddy become a different person when she became a mom,

577
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:11,040
Speaker 1: like or when she had her own children?

578
00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:13,040
Speaker 2: Did she She's always been?

579
00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:15,520
Speaker 3: I mean she you know, that's the beautiful thing about

580
00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:20,600
Speaker 3: Teddy's that I didn't see really much difference from when

581
00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:23,160
Speaker 3: Bella came out to the way Slate came out.

582
00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:28,120
Speaker 2: She treated them both the same. That's awesome, and I

583
00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:29,240
Speaker 2: mean that's.

584
00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:32,560
Speaker 3: Again I was I saw how much she loved Bella,

585
00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:36,120
Speaker 3: and then again when Slate came out, at least I

586
00:30:36,160 --> 00:30:38,560
Speaker 3: couldn't see the difference, right, And even to this day,

587
00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:42,320
Speaker 3: it's you know, she treats Bella like like if like

588
00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:44,440
Speaker 3: if she's her own, you know, which is.

589
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:47,640
Speaker 2: Again just a lot of love. So yeah, she's always

590
00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:49,640
Speaker 2: been great.

591
00:30:50,240 --> 00:30:53,560
Speaker 1: I think that's amazing. And one of the most important

592
00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:57,120
Speaker 1: parts about you know, having a family, you know, is

593
00:30:57,200 --> 00:31:00,720
Speaker 1: being able to treat a child that's yours, it's that's

594
00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:02,040
Speaker 1: not yours, like that's yours.

595
00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:05,480
Speaker 2: You know, when you when you uh, now, let me

596
00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:05,880
Speaker 2: ask you this.

597
00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:09,560
Speaker 3: When you were you know, obviously step Dad did you

598
00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:11,480
Speaker 3: was there a part of you that wanted to be

599
00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:14,080
Speaker 3: a little bit of a role model with them, and

600
00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:19,760
Speaker 3: you know, just showing them kind of again, things aren't taught.

601
00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:22,640
Speaker 3: They're caught showing them what a you know, what a

602
00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:24,240
Speaker 3: good person kind of lives by.

603
00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:28,040
Speaker 1: And oh yeah, one hundred percent. I wanted to influence

604
00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:31,680
Speaker 1: them as much as I could, you know, because I

605
00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:35,680
Speaker 1: felt like I've made it through life, I've struggled, and

606
00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:39,200
Speaker 1: you know, and and and I can teach them a

607
00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:42,760
Speaker 1: little bit about that. And the irony is is that

608
00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:46,160
Speaker 1: our kids grew up pretty privileged. You know, we live

609
00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:49,520
Speaker 1: in Orange County in a very beautiful area. You know,

610
00:31:49,560 --> 00:31:54,240
Speaker 1: we have a pretty good living, and they've never ever

611
00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:58,040
Speaker 1: relative to me and relative to even kids that you know,

612
00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:01,320
Speaker 1: let's say kids, this is out of context, but kids

613
00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:04,320
Speaker 1: in Africa, you know who, you know, born in the jungle.

614
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:08,960
Speaker 1: My struggle was was not like that. But I struggled.

615
00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:11,960
Speaker 1: And when these kids come to me and or they

616
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,880
Speaker 1: tell their mom, you know, life is so hard, like

617
00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:17,080
Speaker 1: I don't get it, you know, Can I can I

618
00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:18,040
Speaker 1: talk to you about this?

619
00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:18,320
Speaker 2: You know?

620
00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:22,160
Speaker 1: Can I teach you? You know what? Can I take

621
00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:24,800
Speaker 1: you down town and show you how people really are

622
00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:28,080
Speaker 1: struggling so you can understand what real struggle is. And

623
00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:30,920
Speaker 1: I never got the opportunity to do that. You know,

624
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:33,760
Speaker 1: I really think that's a valuable lesson. When you take

625
00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:37,320
Speaker 1: somebody outside their bubble and take them to a community

626
00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:39,760
Speaker 1: where there are people that are really struggling. I think

627
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:43,240
Speaker 1: it'll open up people's eyes, especially kids, especially when they're

628
00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:46,360
Speaker 1: little and they're impressionable, and they realize, you know what,

629
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:51,760
Speaker 1: I have it freaking pretty damn good, right, because all

630
00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:54,480
Speaker 1: they have to compare themselves with is other kids in

631
00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:58,560
Speaker 1: the neighborhood who obviously might have ten times more than

632
00:32:58,600 --> 00:33:01,520
Speaker 1: we have. You know, while our kids are getting brand

633
00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:04,760
Speaker 1: new Mas, does you know their friends might be getting

634
00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:06,880
Speaker 1: brand new Lamborghinis, right, right?

635
00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:10,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, It's so important for them to see what it

636
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:12,320
Speaker 3: looks on the other side, right, because you don't know

637
00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:15,440
Speaker 3: what you don't know, right. And I also think in

638
00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:18,800
Speaker 3: the same way, it's important if you don't grow up

639
00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:22,520
Speaker 3: with much to at least go touch the dream once

640
00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:25,600
Speaker 3: in a while, you know, take your kids to some

641
00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:29,080
Speaker 3: nice areas so that they can see, whoa, there's a

642
00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:30,240
Speaker 3: whole different lifestyle here.

643
00:33:30,280 --> 00:33:32,200
Speaker 2: Maybe I want a piece of this, right Yeah, But

644
00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:35,400
Speaker 2: if you never exposed them to it, why would they

645
00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:36,920
Speaker 2: want it? Exactly?

646
00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:39,360
Speaker 3: If they don't know any different, right, right, It's almost

647
00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:42,960
Speaker 3: like so it goes both ways, yeah right, So you

648
00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:44,960
Speaker 3: know for me, I know that was such a big

649
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:48,520
Speaker 3: part of me, is that I was exposed to even

650
00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:51,320
Speaker 3: though we didn't grow up with money, I was exposed

651
00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:55,160
Speaker 3: to like nice areas, and being exposed to those nice

652
00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:58,040
Speaker 3: areas made me realize like, wait a minute, this is where.

653
00:33:57,840 --> 00:34:00,400
Speaker 2: I want to live. Yeah, I don't want to live there,

654
00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:02,680
Speaker 2: you know, And I think back, if I wouldn't have

655
00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:05,120
Speaker 2: been exposed to it, you don't know what you don't know, right,

656
00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:07,800
Speaker 2: You can't improve on something you're not aware of. So

657
00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:11,800
Speaker 2: I think it goes both ways on that for sure.

658
00:34:12,760 --> 00:34:15,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, But what do you think as far as like

659
00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:20,400
Speaker 3: what about like I'm big on this is like not

660
00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:22,280
Speaker 3: getting smashed in front of the kids.

661
00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:24,600
Speaker 2: What I mean like I don't drunk drink.

662
00:34:24,680 --> 00:34:28,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, like I yeah, very particular about I can drink.

663
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:30,560
Speaker 3: They could see me drink, but you'll never see me.

664
00:34:30,719 --> 00:34:32,360
Speaker 2: Smashed in front of my kids.

665
00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:36,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, I'm very particular with that because again,

666
00:34:36,080 --> 00:34:40,479
Speaker 3: things are caught not topped right right, they start seeing

667
00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:42,200
Speaker 3: you get smashed all of a sudden, they're like, oh,

668
00:34:42,200 --> 00:34:43,759
Speaker 3: it's okay to get smashed, right.

669
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:44,600
Speaker 2: Yeah.

670
00:34:44,680 --> 00:34:48,880
Speaker 3: So were you did you take that into consideration in

671
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:49,279
Speaker 3: front of the.

672
00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:53,680
Speaker 1: Kids or yes? Yes, between that which was not a

673
00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:56,000
Speaker 1: problem because you know, I wasn't a big drinker. I

674
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:59,440
Speaker 1: think I've been drunk the two or three times here

675
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:01,640
Speaker 1: in this house I live in, and two of them

676
00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:06,000
Speaker 1: were when I was single. You know, and usually when

677
00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:08,799
Speaker 1: we have parties, the kids are at their friend's house, right,

678
00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:12,480
Speaker 1: so we had we had we had a few rules.

679
00:35:13,160 --> 00:35:15,120
Speaker 1: One of the biggest rules is we don't fight in

680
00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:17,520
Speaker 1: front of the kids. You know, we don't curse at

681
00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:19,320
Speaker 1: each other and put each other down in front of

682
00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:23,040
Speaker 1: the kids. I think that one thing I don't remember

683
00:35:23,080 --> 00:35:25,600
Speaker 1: how I learned, but one thing I learned is that

684
00:35:25,719 --> 00:35:31,480
Speaker 1: kids will emulate you more than repeat what you say

685
00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:34,000
Speaker 1: than what they learned elsewhere. Right, they can read it

686
00:35:34,040 --> 00:35:36,080
Speaker 1: in a book how to be, but if they grow

687
00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:38,839
Speaker 1: up in an abusive household, they're going to be abusive too,

688
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:41,399
Speaker 1: regardless of you know, what they've read or what they've

689
00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:44,719
Speaker 1: learned in school. So it was important to me to

690
00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:48,160
Speaker 1: understanding that, to know that the kids are very impressionable,

691
00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:52,399
Speaker 1: and I believe from what I understand, it's the first

692
00:35:52,520 --> 00:35:54,640
Speaker 1: six to eight years of their life where they're the

693
00:35:54,680 --> 00:36:00,240
Speaker 1: most absorbent of everything, you know, and once they absorb it,

694
00:36:00,239 --> 00:36:03,560
Speaker 1: it's not going anywhere. No amount of therapy is gonna

695
00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:04,240
Speaker 1: take it away.

696
00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:05,080
Speaker 2: That's so true.

697
00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:08,440
Speaker 3: And by the way, no one, no matter, no one's perfect.

698
00:36:08,480 --> 00:36:11,520
Speaker 3: So the idea is it happens less and less and

699
00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:14,320
Speaker 3: less but like once in a while, I'll still blur

700
00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:16,879
Speaker 3: like a bad word and I don't realize that the kids.

701
00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:22,719
Speaker 3: So this last Sunday, I'm taking uh.

702
00:36:21,160 --> 00:36:22,439
Speaker 2: Uh, we're going to church.

703
00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:25,279
Speaker 3: It's dub and I and cruise and someone cuts me

704
00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:28,480
Speaker 3: off and I'm like and then all of a sudden,

705
00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:29,600
Speaker 3: in the back.

706
00:36:29,440 --> 00:36:33,440
Speaker 2: Seat, she didn't skip a beat. She's like, I'm like,

707
00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:39,879
Speaker 2: oh no, no, starts laughing. I start laughing. I'm just sorry, kids,

708
00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:41,120
Speaker 2: I did not mean to say that.

709
00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:44,319
Speaker 1: Sorry, sorry, sorry funny.

710
00:36:45,239 --> 00:36:47,560
Speaker 2: And right away she says it. She's like a freaking parrot.

711
00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:48,840
Speaker 2: She repeats anything funny.

712
00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:51,319
Speaker 1: The best ones there when they go to school and

713
00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:53,000
Speaker 1: say it, and the teacher is like, what are you

714
00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:54,000
Speaker 1: teaching your kids?

715
00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:54,880
Speaker 2: Exactly?

716
00:36:57,400 --> 00:37:03,160
Speaker 1: Kids are funny, so funny. I think that's all I

717
00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:03,759
Speaker 1: got for you.

718
00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:07,200
Speaker 2: Uh yeah, I think you know what. I have a

719
00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:10,440
Speaker 2: couple ones for you. Still, so no, So.

720
00:37:10,600 --> 00:37:14,160
Speaker 3: Was there ever any part of you that wanted biological children?

721
00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:21,640
Speaker 1: The only time, like I said earlier, is when my

722
00:37:21,719 --> 00:37:25,359
Speaker 1: friends would share that, Like you could really see that

723
00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:27,640
Speaker 1: magic in their eyes when they're telling me the story

724
00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:30,960
Speaker 1: about what it's like having your own kid right and

725
00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:34,440
Speaker 1: watching the birth. That's it. That's the only time I've

726
00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:36,520
Speaker 1: ever thought, you know, maybe it would be nice to

727
00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:41,440
Speaker 1: have my own kid another time. And this was recently.

728
00:37:41,480 --> 00:37:44,840
Speaker 1: Now that I'm in my fifties, I'm thinking, well, you know,

729
00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:47,320
Speaker 1: I'm starting I have a lot of friends that are older.

730
00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:50,600
Speaker 1: Some of the guys that I ride dirt bikes with

731
00:37:50,719 --> 00:37:54,239
Speaker 1: are in their mid sixties to late sixties, and they're badasses,

732
00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:57,560
Speaker 1: but their parents are older and they're starting to, you know,

733
00:37:57,640 --> 00:38:00,480
Speaker 1: either live in a home or die of cancer or

734
00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:05,200
Speaker 1: you know, shit like that is happening. So it led

735
00:38:05,239 --> 00:38:07,319
Speaker 1: me to believe, like, what's going to happen to me,

736
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:10,319
Speaker 1: you know, when I get to that point. And that's

737
00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:14,920
Speaker 1: thinking way way down the line. Because my grandmother is

738
00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:16,719
Speaker 1: going to be ninety nine years old this year. So

739
00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:19,480
Speaker 1: I know, my jeans are good and I take care

740
00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:21,719
Speaker 1: of myself, so I might live to one hundred and four.

741
00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:26,920
Speaker 1: But these are the thoughts that I've been having and

742
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:29,759
Speaker 1: conversations I've been having with my wife, Like even with

743
00:38:29,840 --> 00:38:32,360
Speaker 1: my buddy yesterday, sitting at lunch after a ride, we

744
00:38:32,480 --> 00:38:35,560
Speaker 1: looked across the table and there's probably an eighty five

745
00:38:35,640 --> 00:38:37,760
Speaker 1: year old couple. Like both of them are in their eighties.

746
00:38:38,280 --> 00:38:41,280
Speaker 1: And they're still eating dinner together and they're still enjoying

747
00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:44,640
Speaker 1: each other's time, and it just makes me reflect like,

748
00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:47,919
Speaker 1: is that are we going to still? I hope we're

749
00:38:47,920 --> 00:38:50,480
Speaker 1: still going to be doing that, you know, in our eighties.

750
00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:52,680
Speaker 1: And how long are we going to be doing that

751
00:38:52,719 --> 00:38:56,520
Speaker 1: before we get to the point where we're either getting

752
00:38:56,640 --> 00:39:00,360
Speaker 1: help to go to the bathroom or getting help to

753
00:39:01,239 --> 00:39:04,799
Speaker 1: you know, get up? You know, it's it's it's I'm

754
00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:07,120
Speaker 1: struggling with it a little bit because my mother is

755
00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:09,719
Speaker 1: ninety nine, or my grandmother is ninety nine, and she

756
00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:12,920
Speaker 1: has more good days than bad, but she still is

757
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:15,560
Speaker 1: having bad days that I've never seen before, right, So

758
00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:20,879
Speaker 1: I'm wondering, like, is it any time now? I mean,

759
00:39:21,040 --> 00:39:26,520
Speaker 1: she is ninety nine years old? But when when it happens,

760
00:39:27,040 --> 00:39:28,160
Speaker 1: who's going to be there for me?

761
00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:31,000
Speaker 2: Yeah? Is it?

762
00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:34,760
Speaker 1: Kind? I don't have any kids. Is Ryan, Sophia, Sidney

763
00:39:35,239 --> 00:39:37,360
Speaker 1: or Spencer going to be there for me? I don't know,

764
00:39:38,040 --> 00:39:41,200
Speaker 1: It's I guess will I guess It's to be determined.

765
00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:46,520
Speaker 2: And so are you going to celebrate with grandma? Yeah?

766
00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:47,959
Speaker 1: Yeah, ninety nine years old?

767
00:39:49,080 --> 00:39:51,239
Speaker 2: I wish you did you take the tenth or how

768
00:39:51,239 --> 00:39:52,279
Speaker 2: do you how do you do it?

769
00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:56,560
Speaker 1: I usually do because that's where when she wants to

770
00:39:56,760 --> 00:40:00,360
Speaker 1: she's still and she's starting to have some amnesia or

771
00:40:01,280 --> 00:40:04,440
Speaker 1: signs dementia, because every time I go see her, she's

772
00:40:04,480 --> 00:40:10,080
Speaker 1: just like, so, do you still live in New Mexico? Like, Mom, no,

773
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:13,560
Speaker 1: I'm only twenty five minutes away. That's that's that's not

774
00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:16,760
Speaker 1: very far. It's like, wait, you rode your bike from Mexico.

775
00:40:18,880 --> 00:40:22,719
Speaker 1: So it's it's happening. And you know, not just the

776
00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:25,359
Speaker 1: fear of losing her, but the fear of getting to

777
00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:29,319
Speaker 1: that point in my life is kind of scaring me, Like,

778
00:40:29,400 --> 00:40:31,840
Speaker 1: you know, what's going to happen? You know, I And

779
00:40:32,719 --> 00:40:34,600
Speaker 1: no matter how much money you have in your life

780
00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:37,239
Speaker 1: and you have, you know, all the nurses to take

781
00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:39,560
Speaker 1: care of you, it's not the same as having somebody

782
00:40:39,560 --> 00:40:43,200
Speaker 1: who loves you really take care of you, right, And

783
00:40:44,040 --> 00:40:46,080
Speaker 1: that that, to me is going to be Probably the

784
00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:50,600
Speaker 1: hardest part is like is there going to be somebody there?

785
00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:53,759
Speaker 1: Because I might outlive my wife. You know, I'm the

786
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:57,759
Speaker 1: crazy one, but I think my genes have shown that

787
00:40:57,880 --> 00:40:59,359
Speaker 1: I'm gonna live longer than her.

788
00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:04,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, everything I think in life, everything is reciprocal.

789
00:41:04,680 --> 00:41:08,239
Speaker 3: So I think if if you're constantly showing people love,

790
00:41:08,280 --> 00:41:10,400
Speaker 3: you'll get that back. And if you're there for people,

791
00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:14,080
Speaker 3: they'll be there for you. So sure that you know

792
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:16,160
Speaker 3: there's there's going to be someone there taking care of you.

793
00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:18,600
Speaker 3: And again, I think you know Teddy as much as

794
00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:21,120
Speaker 3: much as she's like now, she knows like, yeah, go

795
00:41:21,239 --> 00:41:25,520
Speaker 3: visit moms because she knows that that eventually my kids

796
00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:27,440
Speaker 3: are going to now eventually be taking care of her

797
00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:29,440
Speaker 3: because they're going to see the way I treated my

798
00:41:29,520 --> 00:41:32,879
Speaker 3: mom exactly. And again everything is sort of reciprocal. And

799
00:41:35,120 --> 00:41:38,160
Speaker 3: but yeah, so now what are your thoughts on You know,

800
00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:41,760
Speaker 3: we're speaking to grandma's Tamra's a grandma, which I still

801
00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:44,439
Speaker 3: don't I can't even understand that she looks so young.

802
00:41:44,480 --> 00:41:46,080
Speaker 2: I would never look at her as a grandma.

803
00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:49,879
Speaker 1: But she had her first child at seventeen years old.

804
00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:53,000
Speaker 3: I know that's that's crazy. So how do you feel

805
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:54,280
Speaker 3: about her being a grandma?

806
00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:56,000
Speaker 1: Oh, it's no different.

807
00:41:57,160 --> 00:41:58,840
Speaker 2: Do you give her a crap for that grandma?

808
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:02,919
Speaker 1: Oh? No, she's such a young grandma and even her

809
00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:05,920
Speaker 1: mom is such a young grandma, a great grandma. Actually,

810
00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:09,839
Speaker 1: you know, they always tay you look at the mother

811
00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:12,560
Speaker 1: before you marry the girl, because that's what she's going

812
00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:15,319
Speaker 1: to look like. And I love her mom. She's so

813
00:42:16,360 --> 00:42:19,240
Speaker 1: just full of life and takes good care of herself

814
00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:22,719
Speaker 1: and and just it's always active. So Tama has some

815
00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:25,719
Speaker 1: good genes too, and she's going to be active for

816
00:42:25,760 --> 00:42:26,480
Speaker 1: a long time.

817
00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:27,000
Speaker 2: You know.

818
00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:29,560
Speaker 1: That's that's what I'm looking forward to. It's like we're

819
00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:31,240
Speaker 1: going to be doing things till we're dead.

820
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:36,279
Speaker 3: Yeah, And How's what's Tama's role as a grandma? Is

821
00:42:36,320 --> 00:42:38,680
Speaker 3: she like involved? Does she try to maybe just not

822
00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:40,200
Speaker 3: not get involved too much?

823
00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:44,080
Speaker 1: Or is she no? She she does get involved. When

824
00:42:44,360 --> 00:42:46,239
Speaker 1: when her mom used to live here, we used to

825
00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:49,360
Speaker 1: get the opportunity to see Ava once a week. But

826
00:42:49,480 --> 00:42:53,440
Speaker 1: when mom moved away, it's been kind of challenging. And

827
00:42:53,560 --> 00:42:56,040
Speaker 1: especially when Tama films, it's really hard for her to

828
00:42:56,080 --> 00:43:01,040
Speaker 1: stop and do anything with anybody, including myself. But now

829
00:43:01,080 --> 00:43:03,560
Speaker 1: that she's not filming, and she has spent time, you know,

830
00:43:03,719 --> 00:43:07,279
Speaker 1: going and taking Ava out. There was I think her

831
00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:12,240
Speaker 1: her mom, Ava and Sophia went out and hung out yesterday,

832
00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:15,480
Speaker 1: you know, like I was like four different generations and

833
00:43:15,719 --> 00:43:18,719
Speaker 1: that was fun. That was really cool. But she loves

834
00:43:18,719 --> 00:43:21,040
Speaker 1: to do stuff like that she loves Ava. She has

835
00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:23,600
Speaker 1: seen Ava grow up and you know, just become her own.

836
00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:26,480
Speaker 1: And just like the other kids, they to see the

837
00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:31,880
Speaker 1: evolution of a child go from you know to you know,

838
00:43:32,080 --> 00:43:37,600
Speaker 1: give me money, right, you know, it's it's it's a

839
00:43:37,680 --> 00:43:41,440
Speaker 1: great life experience, I think. And I think she's enjoying

840
00:43:41,520 --> 00:43:42,759
Speaker 1: Ava tremendously.

841
00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:48,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, I can't wait to be a grandpa, I think, Oh, definitely.

842
00:43:48,760 --> 00:43:50,799
Speaker 2: I feel like my first kids.

843
00:43:50,960 --> 00:43:53,960
Speaker 3: I you know, I was so in work that I

844
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:57,839
Speaker 3: you know, I probably well, my first one, I was very,

845
00:43:57,920 --> 00:44:01,319
Speaker 3: very involved, right because you know, it was you know,

846
00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:05,440
Speaker 3: Teddy came into it I think four months or actually

847
00:44:05,480 --> 00:44:10,480
Speaker 3: technically three weeks, but I would I would spend you know,

848
00:44:10,520 --> 00:44:13,800
Speaker 3: like I changed diapers with my first with my first daughter,

849
00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:16,279
Speaker 3: and I like literally took care of but I used

850
00:44:16,280 --> 00:44:19,760
Speaker 3: to take you know, give her bats. Once the second

851
00:44:19,760 --> 00:44:22,400
Speaker 3: one was around and Teddy was you know, now it

852
00:44:22,440 --> 00:44:23,759
Speaker 3: was more like Teddy doing all of it.

853
00:44:23,800 --> 00:44:23,880
Speaker 2: You know.

854
00:44:23,920 --> 00:44:26,080
Speaker 3: I always tell Teddy I'm a better dad when she's

855
00:44:26,120 --> 00:44:29,320
Speaker 3: not around. She's around, I'm not as good as as

856
00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:32,480
Speaker 3: good of a dad as I probably could be, just because.

857
00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:34,960
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, Teddy's got it. Teddy's got it. I'm

858
00:44:34,960 --> 00:44:36,040
Speaker 2: more the fun dad.

859
00:44:36,080 --> 00:44:41,440
Speaker 3: But but yeah, no, just again, shout out to all moms.

860
00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:45,319
Speaker 3: I mean, we we love you so much. And you know, mother,

861
00:44:45,520 --> 00:44:50,600
Speaker 3: being a mother is not easy. Whenever you think it's easy,

862
00:44:50,760 --> 00:44:52,520
Speaker 3: I was gonna say, whenever you think being a mom

863
00:44:52,640 --> 00:44:56,759
Speaker 3: is easy, stay with your kids for all day and

864
00:44:56,840 --> 00:44:58,719
Speaker 3: take care of them all day. And you tell me

865
00:44:58,760 --> 00:45:00,719
Speaker 3: if that's easy, especially when they're one year or two

866
00:45:00,800 --> 00:45:01,279
Speaker 3: years old.

867
00:45:01,320 --> 00:45:03,280
Speaker 2: That thing is hard.

868
00:45:03,640 --> 00:45:08,920
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, yes, it is hard. I have so much

869
00:45:08,920 --> 00:45:13,239
Speaker 1: respect for moms because you know, they obviously make this

870
00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:16,560
Speaker 1: world go around. They're the ones that have kids. But

871
00:45:16,920 --> 00:45:21,560
Speaker 1: their job is so hard in the first probably eighteen

872
00:45:21,680 --> 00:45:26,799
Speaker 1: years of the kids alive, right, so much work. But yeah,

873
00:45:26,840 --> 00:45:29,239
Speaker 1: I can't imagine what they go through. But I have

874
00:45:29,280 --> 00:45:32,000
Speaker 1: a lot of respect for moms of the world.

875
00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:34,600
Speaker 3: Not to mention the pain they have to go through,

876
00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:37,560
Speaker 3: uh labor like I can't even imagine.

877
00:45:37,560 --> 00:45:40,040
Speaker 2: I can't even imagine. So just much respect.

878
00:45:40,560 --> 00:45:42,439
Speaker 1: Yes, Happy Mother's Day to all.

879
00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:45,359
Speaker 2: Be Mother's Day. I hope you got to have an

880
00:45:45,440 --> 00:45:46,160
Speaker 2: amazing day.

881
00:45:47,560 --> 00:45:52,000
Speaker 1: And that's our podcast. Yes, great catching up brother, Good

882
00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:54,759
Speaker 1: to see you, ye brother, and we will see you

883
00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:57,640
Speaker 1: next podcast. I'm really excited because it's going to be

884
00:45:57,640 --> 00:45:58,360
Speaker 1: our first guest.

885
00:45:58,920 --> 00:46:02,759
Speaker 3: Oh, that's gonna be fun. One yeah, yeah, yes, is yet.

886
00:46:02,800 --> 00:46:04,680
Speaker 3: Or we're just gonna leave, leave them in suspense.

887
00:46:04,760 --> 00:46:06,879
Speaker 1: We'll leave in suspense. It will be a surprise. I'm

888
00:46:06,880 --> 00:46:10,359
Speaker 1: really excited about it. It'll be fine. I think it'll

889
00:46:10,360 --> 00:46:10,879
Speaker 1: be a good time.

890
00:46:11,160 --> 00:46:12,240
Speaker 2: It'll be a house husband.

891
00:46:12,560 --> 00:46:13,920
Speaker 1: Yes, it's just gonna be a house husband.

892
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:14,600
Speaker 2: Yes.

893
00:46:15,080 --> 00:46:17,120
Speaker 1: All right, until next time.

894
00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:18,000
Speaker 2: Until next time.

895
00:46:19,600 --> 00:46:19,640
Speaker 1: H