Speaker 1: Welcome to Checking In with Michelle Williams, a production of
Speaker 1: iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. Good Day, everybody, Welcome to
Speaker 1: another episode of Checking In. Today's episode will be about
Speaker 1: why we didn't have a new episode last week, and
Speaker 1: also we are going to talk all things Thanksgiving, So
Speaker 1: stay tuned. Hey, Hey, Hey, how y'all doing. What's been
Speaker 1: going on? Y'all? Tell me what has been going on?
Speaker 1: From my end, There's been a lot going on, heartbreaking
Speaker 1: things that I believe we are all seen on the news,
Speaker 1: probably heartbreaking things that you're seeing in your just your
Speaker 1: local news, your regional news, the news of the state
Speaker 1: you live in. We're seeing news about things that are
Speaker 1: happening just in the country we live in, and also
Speaker 1: things about the entire world that we live in, so
Speaker 1: things that are maybe not happening in America, but things
Speaker 1: that are happening outside the United States as well. And
Speaker 1: I know what my specific job is to do. In
Speaker 1: moments like this when you don't know what to do,
Speaker 1: I sit in stillness. I sit in a lot of
Speaker 1: prayer meditation just to get clarity on what I'm to do.
Speaker 1: And sometimes people think that stillness is not enough, or
Speaker 1: that even prayer is not a enough But there's been
Speaker 1: so much going on that I'm aware of, and then
Speaker 1: maybe things that you're not aware of, you know that
Speaker 1: are taking place with so many people, some of you
Speaker 1: know and some of you don't. And so I am
Speaker 1: always I just feel a task to just to pray.
Speaker 1: And I love to pray. I loved, I loved, and
Speaker 1: so me saying that you are welcome to reach out
Speaker 1: to me if you feel that you want me to
Speaker 1: pray for a specific matter for you, or pray for
Speaker 1: a person, a situation, a relationship, a job, opportunity, or
Speaker 1: whatever it is. Yeah, I'd love to offer that to you. Okay,
Speaker 1: no pressure, I'm not pushing anything on you, but just
Speaker 1: know that your girl here loves you and don't want
Speaker 1: you to feel that you are alone on your journey.
Speaker 1: All right, I'm here. You know. It took people being
Speaker 1: here for me. It also took me being able to
Speaker 1: take a step back in the stillness and look at
Speaker 1: my own situation. It took me time to kind of
Speaker 1: sit in the stillness and say, Okay, well, what do
Speaker 1: I have the power to change? So I just want
Speaker 1: to encourage you to definitely reach out to me or
Speaker 1: your support system for however they can best support you.
Speaker 1: But then don't get too overwhelmed when you have to
Speaker 1: sit back and say, Okay, what can I do. I
Speaker 1: was speaking with someone a few days ago who has
Speaker 1: been battling depression really really, really really bad. And the
Speaker 1: thing about depression is sometimes when you're in that state,
Speaker 1: it will have you just looking at all the negative.
Speaker 1: You will sit in that bad on your sofa, in
Speaker 1: a state of depression, even listening to the lies that
Speaker 1: you tell yourself, listening to the lies that no one
Speaker 1: has even said to you. And I was asking this
Speaker 1: person what they needed for what was going on, and
Speaker 1: they really couldn't tell me other than they felt that
Speaker 1: people do not invest in them. And so of course
Speaker 1: I just sat and listened to everything that they had
Speaker 1: to say with an ear of compassionate, ear of empathy,
Speaker 1: and I had to tell them, I said, well, look
Speaker 1: at the ways people do invest in you. People only
Speaker 1: invest in you to their capacity or ability. An investment
Speaker 1: is someone picking up the phone to check on you
Speaker 1: and see how you're doing. And investment is a tech
Speaker 1: next to check on you, you know, and just be
Speaker 1: careful if you have a specific need that you want
Speaker 1: people to do, it's okay to tell them versus letting
Speaker 1: that state of depression make you feel like no one
Speaker 1: is investing in you. Because people can only invest in
Speaker 1: you how they know to invest. And what I mean
Speaker 1: by how they know to invest is based on what
Speaker 1: you share with them. Now, sometimes people have a spirit
Speaker 1: of discernment where God, where God can share something with
Speaker 1: them and speak something to them that can show them
Speaker 1: you're not telling me the whole story and you're going
Speaker 1: through something because I do know when you're in a
Speaker 1: state of depression or just any state, it's hard for
Speaker 1: humans to ask people for help period. It's hard for
Speaker 1: people to be vulnerable and say I'm having a rough time,
Speaker 1: so let me get back to the investment portion. So
Speaker 1: I was telling this person, if you want people to
Speaker 1: invest you the way you want them to, then you
Speaker 1: have to say that versus not letting yourself sit in
Speaker 1: a moment of darkness because of what you haven't shared
Speaker 1: or because of what people don't know. Also, I had
Speaker 1: to share with this person. Is it investment that you
Speaker 1: want people to make in you? Is it attention or entitlement? Again,
Speaker 1: people can only do what they know or what they
Speaker 1: have the capacity to do unless you share. Hey, this
Speaker 1: is what I need from you. Okay, does that make sense?
Speaker 1: I've been there. I've been there, honey. When I tell you,
Speaker 1: I know, I know. But I also know that the
Speaker 1: world did not stop for me while I was in
Speaker 1: that state. So I had to give myself grace, and
Speaker 1: I had to give others around me grace who might
Speaker 1: have been ignorant to what I was going through or
Speaker 1: who knew what I was going through, but they could
Speaker 1: only help me to the ability and capacity that they have.
Speaker 1: Does that make sense? All right? I just wanted to
Speaker 1: share that I and I know the holidays can bring
Speaker 1: on a lot of sadness and grief. This person like
Speaker 1: it's the first year without somebody that passed away that
Speaker 1: was really close to them, and so you know they're
Speaker 1: dealing with that, you know, the birthday of that person's
Speaker 1: it's a lot. I know it can be a lot.
Speaker 1: So I'm just giving you a big old hug. Can
Speaker 1: you hear me hugging you? Can you hear me? I
Speaker 1: wish my boobs were just a little bigger, so you
Speaker 1: can you know, you get a hug from somebody that's
Speaker 1: got a real full volume chest and the hug just
Speaker 1: be tight and just cushion me and pleasant. And you
Speaker 1: know they mean that thing when they hug you real tight.
Speaker 1: So I'm giving you one of those hugs because I
Speaker 1: want to let you know. I promise you, baby, it
Speaker 1: gets so much better. And I urge you to when
Speaker 1: you can, to a teach to a small investment in
Speaker 1: yourself today and tomorrow. All right, to a small investment.
Speaker 1: I told this person, I said, I said, what's your
Speaker 1: bedroom looking like? They said a mess? And so I
Speaker 1: just said, why don't you try, you know, organizing or
Speaker 1: straightening up the top of your dresser because I know
Speaker 1: mail is everywhere, I know pill bottles from your alment,
Speaker 1: I know that's everything. Just kind of organize your dresser
Speaker 1: and just stop there. I told them, you don't have
Speaker 1: to try to clean up your entire master bedroom in
Speaker 1: one day, but just start with organizing your dresser and
Speaker 1: your nightstand. That's it, all right, I understand. I promise you.
Speaker 1: You guys know that I've shared a couple times. You
Speaker 1: know what my uncle had shared with me. Just taking
Speaker 1: baby steps and doing what you can, and before you
Speaker 1: know what, you're making a lot of progress. All right.
Speaker 1: I did a trip to the Dominican Republic, to the
Speaker 1: capitol in Santo Domingo with an organization called Compassion, and
Speaker 1: it was a missions trip. And Compassion is an organization
Speaker 1: that invests into children. And I know you've seen a
Speaker 1: lot of organizations on television that help feed children, on mothers, veterans,
Speaker 1: you know, organizations that even service to supply safety and
Speaker 1: refuge for animals as well. So this particular organization is
Speaker 1: called Compassion, and it was a time for people to
Speaker 1: even go to get a chance to even visit the
Speaker 1: children that they sponsor. And it was it was fulfilling
Speaker 1: but heartbreaking at the same time, lovely but heartbreaking at
Speaker 1: the same time because a lot of the children had
Speaker 1: so much joy, their parents still having smiles on their faces.
Speaker 1: And it was a joy to just be able to
Speaker 1: put everything into perspective, the things that we complain about.
Speaker 1: It's not to dismiss things that are going on in
Speaker 1: your life, but I was like, yeah, there are certain
Speaker 1: things that I might personally complain about that I might
Speaker 1: need to put on the you know, just not even
Speaker 1: complain about. So, yes, Compassion. We visited a lot of homes,
Speaker 1: We visited a lot of the Compassion centers where the
Speaker 1: children go for their snacks, some go for their schooling.
Speaker 1: It was pretty pretty awesome. I am going to post
Speaker 1: my pictures very soon. It's about twenty of us that
Speaker 1: went and relationships were made. We all met up in
Speaker 1: Palm Springs in May of this year and everyone agreed
Speaker 1: to go to the Dominican Republic for this missions trip.
Speaker 1: And I just I have two little girls. One was
Speaker 1: just so spunky and was just running and just had
Speaker 1: so much joy. And one young girl. We were outside
Speaker 1: playing and she just literally came and sat next to
Speaker 1: me on the swings and we started swinging back and
Speaker 1: forth and we began talking. Of course, I had to
Speaker 1: use my translator on my phone to say certain words
Speaker 1: or to even understand what she was saying. But she
Speaker 1: was telling me that she wants to be a doctor,
Speaker 1: and both young girls want to be a doctor. And
Speaker 1: the fact that an adult who used to be sponsored
Speaker 1: by Compassion, so Compassion is the vessel, and then we
Speaker 1: are the people that actually pay money per month to
Speaker 1: sponsor a child's food, schooling and their medical needs. And
Speaker 1: one lady who used to be a Compassion child, she
Speaker 1: is like one of the top neurosurgeons in the Dominican Republic,
Speaker 1: and it was awesome to see her stand before us
Speaker 1: to tell us how she lived. It was three people
Speaker 1: we got to meet who are adults now, who said
Speaker 1: it was the importance of their sponsors writing them. So
Speaker 1: your child writes you, and then you're to write the
Speaker 1: child back, because they said, we don't know how much
Speaker 1: it means to them for them to get a letter
Speaker 1: that says you can do anything you want to be.
Speaker 1: Just know I love you, Just know I'm praying God's favor,
Speaker 1: grace and protection over you. At means a lot to
Speaker 1: that child, especially if they're growing up in a home
Speaker 1: where heck it means it. That means a lot to
Speaker 1: a child you know, anywhere, but specifically to these children
Speaker 1: to hear out of their moms that it's a possibility
Speaker 1: I would not be who I am if it wasn't
Speaker 1: for my sponsor writing me back. Because there are some
Speaker 1: children whose sponsors don't write them at all. And so
Speaker 1: sometimes there are probably some of you that are listening
Speaker 1: to me. You've sponsored children, you know, through these various organizations,
Speaker 1: and you probably don't write them back when they write you.
Speaker 1: But I'm here to let you know, like we got
Speaker 1: to write our kids back when they send us a
Speaker 1: letter to update us and let us know how they're doing.
Speaker 1: So Compassion dot com. If you're able to do what
Speaker 1: you can, and if you can't do anything with the
Speaker 1: organization called Compassion, do something your local community center, mentoring
Speaker 1: mentor someone you know you want to talk about investing
Speaker 1: in someone, investing in someone who who you know for
Speaker 1: a fact doesn't have anybody investing in them. So it
Speaker 1: was just it was amazing and Compassion. They they're they're worldwide,
Speaker 1: you know, Nigeria, Gana, Sri Lanka, they are everywhere, and
Speaker 1: my heart just just smiled at those babies. Some are teenagers,
Speaker 1: they're in high school and you can sponsor a child
Speaker 1: that's a few months old. They have a survivor program
Speaker 1: where the mother gets all the care that she needs
Speaker 1: and you can sponsor that child all the way up
Speaker 1: until high school they graduate. You can make sure that
Speaker 1: they get what they need for college and beyond. And
Speaker 1: it's so cool that these folks that are adults, like
Speaker 1: the woman who's the neurosurgeon, she still keeps in touch
Speaker 1: with her sponsors that live in Texas. She's a grown woman,
Speaker 1: so sometimes they become family. If you have any questions
Speaker 1: about it, please don't hesitate to ask me. It was awesome.
Speaker 1: We didn't get to do a lot of like it
Speaker 1: wasn't a trip for rest and relaxation, but we did
Speaker 1: get to go into old town Santa Domingo. We went
Speaker 1: to some restaurants that were really really yummy. But the
Speaker 1: majority of the trip, ninety percent of the trip, you know,
Speaker 1: was to visit those children, their schools, and they were
Speaker 1: gracious enough to let us into their homes. Some of
Speaker 1: the homes, I know, I didn't feel comfortable filming or
Speaker 1: taking pictures of people to me in this some of
Speaker 1: their most vulnerable places. Some definitely had concrete floors, but
Speaker 1: maybe just a a tin roof, tin roof, some hat bed.
Speaker 1: Some didn't. But the children that are sponsored through Compassion,
Speaker 1: if you see a need, you are able to make
Speaker 1: sure that your child they get a bed, they get shoes.
Speaker 1: One of the two young girls that I sponsor, her
Speaker 1: birthday is in February. And when I tell you, she
Speaker 1: has already told me that she wants a dress. When
Speaker 1: I met her, when I saw her running through the center,
Speaker 1: she had on she was so swaggy. She had on
Speaker 1: this T shirt and this long, sweepy ivory colored dress.
Speaker 1: I was like, I like that idea. And so she
Speaker 1: told me that she wants a dress. She told me
Speaker 1: her favorite colors were purple, green, and white. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: make sure that she gets three dresses. She's probably just
Speaker 1: expecting one, but I'm gonna make sure she gets three dresses. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And so again I'll go back to we got to
Speaker 1: visit their home. And one young girl is a teen mom.
Speaker 1: And in certain cultures, once you begin to start your
Speaker 1: own family, you no longer can live in the house
Speaker 1: that you grew up in your parents or grandparents. They say, okay,
Speaker 1: you got to be on your own, you gotta go.
Speaker 1: And so this young lady, her house was actually kind
Speaker 1: of like next door to her grandmother's actual house, but
Speaker 1: this young lady, it was just literally a makeshift type shack.
Speaker 1: And I want us to hear that a teen mom.
Speaker 1: The father is not in the picture because he did
Speaker 1: not want her to have her child, and she had
Speaker 1: the baby anyway. And so one of my colleagues that
Speaker 1: were on the trip, she is helping to sponsor her baby,
Speaker 1: and the mother she wants to work in accounting or finance.
Speaker 1: And I believe one day that young teen mom she's
Speaker 1: going to be working in a finance department somewhere. It
Speaker 1: literally is about exposure, resources or someone saying, hey, I
Speaker 1: see what you want to do. Let me help you
Speaker 1: with those steps. And so it just reminded me. It
Speaker 1: just invigorated me to come back home and make sure
Speaker 1: that when I see a need to make sure that
Speaker 1: I can invest to my ability and my capacity. And
Speaker 1: if I can't, and I know somebody that can, I'm
Speaker 1: not going to hesitate to pick up the phone and
Speaker 1: call Okay. So that was the trip to the Dominican Republic.
Speaker 1: It had the type of humidity that I loved. It
Speaker 1: was hot, the sun was shining. I have been to
Speaker 1: the Dominican Republic in years past, you know, just on
Speaker 1: a trip to you know, relax, you know, but this
Speaker 1: has a different meaning for me. And I can't wait
Speaker 1: to go back to Santo Domingo. I can't wait to
Speaker 1: go back. Also, this week is what we call Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1: What are you doing for Thanksgiving? Some people call it Friendsgiving,
Speaker 1: whatever you call it, what are you doing this week?
Speaker 1: I'm looking at all the ingredients on my counter for
Speaker 1: the turkey. Y'all, I'm gonna attempt to do a corn
Speaker 1: bread dressing for the first time. I pray I know
Speaker 1: what I'm doing. Lord Lord help me. And of course
Speaker 1: banana putting my mac and cheese, my collar greens, they're
Speaker 1: off the chain. Yeah, and some other things. Now, I
Speaker 1: made a post on my thread's account and it happened
Speaker 1: to make the shave. I hate when that happens because
Speaker 1: I feel like when I make a post on my
Speaker 1: pages that it's a safe space for me, because people
Speaker 1: know I rarely have to black people anymore, because I
Speaker 1: think people know the culture of my page. Don't come
Speaker 1: to her page with mess So I'm thinking I'm in
Speaker 1: a safe space. And of course, you know, the Shade
Speaker 1: Room posted it, which is fine. The post said, I
Speaker 1: say this with love. Pecans don't go on real velvet cake.
Speaker 1: I get it. I know it's to make it look cute.
Speaker 1: I just want to just give me white spoof cream
Speaker 1: cheese frosted. Don't put no pecans. Pecans, however you pronounce it,
Speaker 1: don't put it on there. Then I said, marshmallows don't
Speaker 1: go on the candy gams slash sweet potatoes, then some
Speaker 1: people are like, oh my god, with potatoes, sweet potato
Speaker 1: casse role. I want the sliced potatoes. Don't do no
Speaker 1: whipped the sweet potato casserolle. I don't want it. I
Speaker 1: don't want it, but I guess if it's like a
Speaker 1: casserole or the whipped sweet potatoes, marshmallows is acceptable, but
Speaker 1: don't put them on the sliced or dice candy. Don't
Speaker 1: do that. I then said, chopped eggs don't go into
Speaker 1: corn bread dressing. For what, I have an aunt who
Speaker 1: does amazing corn bread dressing. I ain't never seen an
Speaker 1: egg white or an egg but I M M. I
Speaker 1: guess it ain't bad, but I'm not putting it in there.
Speaker 1: Then I said, don't put a lot of bananas in
Speaker 1: the banana pudding. I won't pudding in soft wafers. More
Speaker 1: than anything, I don't want a lot of bananas in
Speaker 1: the banana pudding. Don't come for me. I didn't send
Speaker 1: for you. Well maybe I did when I made that post.
Speaker 1: Then I said, eggs don't need to be in the
Speaker 1: macaroni and cheese. Years years and years years ago, probably
Speaker 1: thirty plus years ago, I was at a relative's home
Speaker 1: for Thanksgiving, and somebody bought some mac and cheese and
Speaker 1: it was a kind of mac and cheese where you
Speaker 1: didn't use a spoon, you like you sliced it. Like,
Speaker 1: why am I slicing in the macaroni and cheese? Why
Speaker 1: am I taking a spatela? It was too thick and
Speaker 1: too bound together. I wanted a little bit of a cream.
Speaker 1: I like creamy macaroni and cheese. Now I don't want
Speaker 1: macaroni and cheese soup, but I don't want macaroni and cheese.
Speaker 1: That it was like, y'all, and what I think the
Speaker 1: I think the eggs kind of scrambled itself a little bit.
Speaker 1: So I was reading in the comments today and somebody said, oh,
Speaker 1: because they didn't let the noodles, I guess cool down,
Speaker 1: because y'all, the macaroni and cheese started to look like
Speaker 1: a macaroni and cheese scramble, like a macaroni and cheese
Speaker 1: breakfast casse role. I don't want it. And then I said,
Speaker 1: did I miss anything else besides minding my business? So
Speaker 1: everybody's got something to say? Of course, because I did too.
Speaker 1: And then I read one comment. Then I stopped reading
Speaker 1: the comments because somebody made the lamest Destiny's Child reference. Y'all.
Speaker 1: I need. I need folks to come up with newer
Speaker 1: jokes on me besides the Destiny's Child jokes, because they're
Speaker 1: just as whack as their fight Coast score. Like I like,
Speaker 1: or argue with your fire cost score, not me. I don't, don't,
Speaker 1: don't do that. Don't do that. So it was starting
Speaker 1: to get It was fun at first, and then people
Speaker 1: just started going below the belt and getting personal and
Speaker 1: I was like, bro, why are you trinkered? Hmmm mm
Speaker 1: oh well, so I said what I said. Right, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna explain to you this turkey type of technique. It's
Speaker 1: called spatch cocking the turkey. So it's where you cut
Speaker 1: the spine and crack the breast and make it look
Speaker 1: like a oversized frog. It's pretty cool, and they say
Speaker 1: it cuts down on the cooking time of a turkey,
Speaker 1: so that's what I'm going to do. It says it
Speaker 1: makes the skin crispy, the juicy meat, and the turkey
Speaker 1: can be done in about an hour and a half
Speaker 1: two hours. Max always says, I gotta dry Brian the turkey. Ooh,
Speaker 1: let me how I dry Brian? The turkey. Y'all, we
Speaker 1: gotta figure out how to dry brian this turkey. It said,
Speaker 1: it's crucial in this recipe. Dry brian the turkey woo
Speaker 1: and compound butter. It imparts flavor under the skin, but
Speaker 1: perhaps more importantly, leaves us with the buttery herb drippings
Speaker 1: that can be used to moisten up the turkey prior
Speaker 1: to serving. Ooh, I'm real excited. Okay, so google spatch Cock. Okay,
Speaker 1: spatch cocking turkey. Okay, it's SPA t H coci n G.
Speaker 1: All right, get your adds out the gutter, thank you.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I'm excited about about this year. And even
Speaker 1: if you just want to chill this year and you
Speaker 1: don't want to do nothing, that's your business. You don't
Speaker 1: have to. Okay, I'm gonna try to chill. I've got
Speaker 1: some a couple more engagements this year. I'm excited about
Speaker 1: December twenty third and twenty fourth. I'll be at Gateway
Speaker 1: Church in Dallas on the twenty third and twenty fourth,
Speaker 1: three services on the twenty third, three services on the
Speaker 1: twenty fourth. You know, lots of churches do their cool
Speaker 1: Christmas programs, their candlelight programs and so I'm excited. I'm excited.
Speaker 1: I'm excited, and then I'm gonna go somewhere and sit down.
Speaker 1: But yeah, what else is going on? Oh, Beyonce's movie
Speaker 1: premiere in LA this weekend. That's gonna be amazing. I
Speaker 1: go to Dublin, Ireland, and I'm thankful. I'm thankful for
Speaker 1: my schedule, but I'm already anticipating the bed in each
Speaker 1: place that I gotta go to. So AnyWho, I just
Speaker 1: want to say that I love you. This year. I'm
Speaker 1: thankful for you. I'm thankful for your love to me.
Speaker 1: I'm thankful for your support of me and all that
Speaker 1: I do. I'm thankful for your encouragement. And I pray
Speaker 1: that this Thanksgiving is a blessed one for you and
Speaker 1: your loved ones. I pray that ain't surely don't say
Speaker 1: nothing at the table this year that's disrespectful. I hope
Speaker 1: Uncle June Bug ain't drunk this year. I pray that
Speaker 1: your mother in law or your father in law, your
Speaker 1: sister in law, brother in law. I pray that they
Speaker 1: don't sigh eye you and make you want to fight.
Speaker 1: I pray that it's pleasant this year. And if you
Speaker 1: are in therapy. Make sure this Thanksgiving you apply everything
Speaker 1: that you've learned in therapy. Restraint, boundaries. Oh last thing,
Speaker 1: If you don't want to go to a family member's
Speaker 1: house because it's always toxic and always drama, you don't
Speaker 1: have to go. You don't. Or if the minute it
Speaker 1: gets uncomfortable, you can excuse yourself. Yeah, you do not
Speaker 1: have to sit there and take no foolishness. All right.
Speaker 1: Your peace is so important. Protect your peace at all costs.
Speaker 1: All right. I love y'all so much, y'all, I gotta
Speaker 1: go because I got to figure out how to do
Speaker 1: this dry brine for this turkey. All right, Okay, I'll
Speaker 1: see y'all soon. Love you so much. Nothing you can
Speaker 1: do about it. Checking In with Michelle Williams is a
Speaker 1: production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts
Speaker 1: from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever
Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows,