Speaker 1: I want to love seeing God damn right, who doesn't
Speaker 1: want to make out on TV? It's pretty cool? I mean,
Speaker 1: why the titty is still up in the head, you
Speaker 1: know right, Let me make out while my titties are fresh.
Speaker 1: They're gonna soil eventually. I'd like it on wax as
Speaker 1: evidence so I could show my kids later. You see
Speaker 1: them titties like I wouldn't be back in the day.
Speaker 1: I know you don't like talking about your papa's titties,
Speaker 1: but I'm gonna show you. I need you to see
Speaker 1: him just so you respect me. Goddamn it, boys, gathering
Speaker 1: something to share with you. Everyone around the fireplace. I
Speaker 1: have a big announcement. And your daddy ever tell you
Speaker 1: about this? Why chips in your racist mean she's turning
Speaker 1: stuff you can't tell me? Yeah? There it is. There
Speaker 1: it is, Ladies and gentlemen, here we are welcome to
Speaker 1: another phenomenal, devastating, thick booty episode of My Mama Told Me,
Speaker 1: the podcast where we dive deep into the pockets and
Speaker 1: lack conspiracy theories and we finally start that go fund
Speaker 1: me to recollect iced teas Ponytail. The man ain't been
Speaker 1: the same since they took his ponytail from him. We
Speaker 1: got to get that ponytail back by all means, by
Speaker 1: any coast, we will get iced tea back his ponytail.
Speaker 1: I am your host, Lake snick Herman. I am excited
Speaker 1: to be here. It is hot in my house. I
Speaker 1: ain't wearing no sleeves. We're getting it popping today. And
Speaker 1: my guest today apparently she's not wearing no shirt, which
Speaker 1: is very exciting for everyone involved. It's an audiocast, but
Speaker 1: now you get to use your imagination, which is very funny.
Speaker 1: She's hilarious. She's just so fucking funny. You know from Netflix,
Speaker 1: you know from Black Monday. She's just hilarious. I'm a
Speaker 1: big fan. Give it up from my guest today, Miss
Speaker 1: Janelle James. Oh yeah, I haven't felt applause and so
Speaker 1: long again one more time. I got you. It's nice, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you haven't done any of the you know, the outdoor shows.
Speaker 1: You haven't gone and ventured out. Two days ago it
Speaker 1: was my first one with Chelsea Handler. But it was
Speaker 1: such ah, it was such a huge ordeal and uh
Speaker 1: that I'm not sure. I'm still trying to figure out
Speaker 1: if I enjoyed it or not. It was so stressful
Speaker 1: first show in five months, that weird thing of like
Speaker 1: you're not comfortable doing your art the way that you
Speaker 1: used to do your art. Tacked on top of the
Speaker 1: fact that like you're putting couzies on top of your
Speaker 1: microphone from spreading germs, it's all very well, that's not
Speaker 1: even a half of it. It was a shoot, not
Speaker 1: just a show. So this is SAG rules and it
Speaker 1: is intense so to you know, sanitize and audience and
Speaker 1: mask and isolation, and it's just like, yo, is this fun?
Speaker 1: Just worth it? Yeah? I mean I got paid. I
Speaker 1: was like, I had told myself I wasn't gonna come
Speaker 1: venture out unless it's for a good amount of money.
Speaker 1: So they got me on that. But then I was
Speaker 1: just like, yo, this is this is crazy. I don't
Speaker 1: know if the money Now I'm like, I don't know
Speaker 1: if the money was right. It was so much. It
Speaker 1: was so much to deal with. So yeah, I feel
Speaker 1: like after a certain point of success, we're all asking ourselves, like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I had planned on hitting there so quickly,
Speaker 1: you know. So I once did a commercial where I
Speaker 1: dressed up like a giant piece of checks mix and uh,
Speaker 1: I hit that prettier in my career. I remember that.
Speaker 1: It's not a fond memory. I'm not brand Uh nope,
Speaker 1: well okay, And it was the internet. It was like weird,
Speaker 1: no websites only you. No, no, not even any residual
Speaker 1: checks to take the edge off your regret to be
Speaker 1: a whore. We all do. The point is, we all
Speaker 1: make choices exactly. Well, I'm really excited you're here today
Speaker 1: because you came with a conspiracy theory that has been
Speaker 1: very near and dear to my heart for quite a while.
Speaker 1: And after some deliberating. We deliberated a little bit, but
Speaker 1: you picked. I want to make sure we get this correct.
Speaker 1: You said, my mama told me black men with bad
Speaker 1: haircuts are perceived as safer in the eyes of white America.
Speaker 1: Is it a conspiracy if it's true? Yeah, but that's
Speaker 1: what I say. I've heard it before, and I love
Speaker 1: that you picked it. Tell me where this comes from
Speaker 1: for you, Well, my mama first, but also I think
Speaker 1: it perpetuates through Hollywood. Anytime the good guy steps on
Speaker 1: the scene, that hairline is is all the way fucked up,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. And so I think it's
Speaker 1: so almost anti black to be walking around with your
Speaker 1: head oh messed up. That It's like you gotta be
Speaker 1: working on the other side, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: or trying to not working on the other side, but
Speaker 1: trying to present yourself is differently then, right, So you're
Speaker 1: saying that to some extent, this is like the men
Speaker 1: or the people involved in this consenting to a shitty
Speaker 1: hairline for the sake of like getting in good with Hollywood.
Speaker 1: It started as a conspiracy and people are now using it.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean, just my just my theory.
Speaker 1: I know. Listen, there's no reason to run from this.
Speaker 1: Let's dig deep. We all code switch some people here
Speaker 1: line switch, you know what I mean. You're trying to
Speaker 1: get trying to get exactly example James, her voice on
Speaker 1: the phone calls some of y'all tell your barber he
Speaker 1: don't touch that. I'm trying to get up to the
Speaker 1: VP spot. You know. So I got my I love that. Wait,
Speaker 1: your mother has this opinion. She shares this conspiracy theory.
Speaker 1: Now I was lying. I was just trying to go
Speaker 1: I'm just playing along. Good. Yeah, my mother, I'm from
Speaker 1: the island, so we I don't know what our conspiracy theory.
Speaker 1: We just have a lot of sayings that are rooted
Speaker 1: in religion bullshit that I can Yeah, but this one
Speaker 1: is I picked because I'm definitely no, it's a thing. Sure,
Speaker 1: let's start digging into examples, because I do feel like
Speaker 1: even for our white listeners, we have to imagine that
Speaker 1: some of them are even confused about what a good
Speaker 1: hairline is. Do you know what I mean? Like, I
Speaker 1: can't imagine that that half the time they even know
Speaker 1: when a black man has us. I would say, look
Speaker 1: at any recent upgrade on the NBA. You know it's
Speaker 1: a n that was looking a little different than they
Speaker 1: were a couple of years ago. That's the new version
Speaker 1: is the good hairline. That's that's look at you trying
Speaker 1: to keep your money by not saying, Lebron James, look
Speaker 1: at you. I was very professional of you. You're like,
Speaker 1: I have to drive the Graham packer next to him
Speaker 1: in a commercial coming up. You don't know, you don't
Speaker 1: know he's sometimes you know, might right be a check
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be but you never know. When individuals crossover
Speaker 1: into a comedic comedy or whatever, they always crossed the no.
Speaker 1: But I might have to meet this dude one day,
Speaker 1: you never know. But yeah, Janelle James jam too, Oh
Speaker 1: my god, I wish anyway, don't we all? But I
Speaker 1: totally agree. I think that it to some extent. Uh,
Speaker 1: there was a celebration of a lot of NBA or
Speaker 1: sort of big celebrity figures at the point that their
Speaker 1: hair looked shitty or is continuing to look shitty. Complicated. Sure, yeah,
Speaker 1: I was just gonna say, if white people want to
Speaker 1: know what we're trying to achieve here as far as perfection,
Speaker 1: look to the ones that were paid for right there
Speaker 1: you go that. Look, okay, look there were That's okay,
Speaker 1: Now you're explaining something. So so a old lebron is
Speaker 1: what we're fighting again, current lebron is what we are
Speaker 1: trying to achieve. I said it. I've said it a
Speaker 1: few times in other places, but I genuinely believe that
Speaker 1: Jalen Rose made a deal with the devil to have
Speaker 1: the hairline that he has. It is magnificent. Dude, up, Oh,
Speaker 1: you don't know Jalen Rose. I'm not a BigMan ever exists.
Speaker 1: He's more famous for being an Indiana pacer and then
Speaker 1: getting uh, well he wasn't a pacer at the time,
Speaker 1: but he took eighty one points from Kobe. Kobe scored
Speaker 1: eighty one points on the Man and now he's a commentator.
Speaker 1: And this is an example of a great headline. It's
Speaker 1: what you're saying, fantastic. Oh. I'm like, wait a minute,
Speaker 1: what do you okay? I thought you were saying the opposite.
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, ship, what's the good one? If this
Speaker 1: is awful? This? Yeah, this is pretty fucking perfect. It's
Speaker 1: the perfect airline. And I have to believe that he
Speaker 1: did something. He murdered an orphan to get it. Oh
Speaker 1: he forty seven with this strong ass headline. Something going on?
Speaker 1: Uh something at the altar and I'm looking at a
Speaker 1: picture of his younger self and he had a low
Speaker 1: he had the almost a buzz cut. What's that? Like?
Speaker 1: What's the call? When the five o'clock shadow on your
Speaker 1: all fade and the headline it's Chris Listen, it's never moved,
Speaker 1: it's never in forty seven years. This is a conspiracy
Speaker 1: right here, Jalen roses Hire, that's all that ship. Wow,
Speaker 1: what blood did you drink to get that haircut to
Speaker 1: stay exactly where it is in forties seven years? Oh?
Speaker 1: My goodness, I am amazing this conspiracy specifically I think
Speaker 1: was presented under the guys of black men. But do
Speaker 1: you find that that also applies to women, that black
Speaker 1: women in Hollywood are forced to sort of consent too
Speaker 1: bad hair on ourselves, yeah, or just you know, white
Speaker 1: people sort of like wanting that look so well, you know,
Speaker 1: I definitely switch up, switch up the wigs, depending on
Speaker 1: what I'm trying to go for it. You know, since
Speaker 1: the girl gets uh braids or you know, uh color,
Speaker 1: you know, corporate corporate lady gets gets the wig, you know,
Speaker 1: the straight relaxed here, maybe a little fair or falset
Speaker 1: and fair, a little uh, what's a little scandal, little
Speaker 1: carry Washington, that's standard the last couple of years. I
Speaker 1: got you. So you think the sisters in general are
Speaker 1: getting a little more grace when it comes to their hair,
Speaker 1: that they're having more options to choose. I don't know.
Speaker 1: In Hollywood, I mean, I don't know if it's grace.
Speaker 1: We're all also constantly trying to figure out what hairstyle
Speaker 1: is least scary to white people, or or or just
Speaker 1: the right enough black that they're like, Okay, we got
Speaker 1: a black person, but not too black that she's gonna
Speaker 1: call us on our ship. Right, if you twist that
Speaker 1: all the way to the scout, you're gonna cause some problems.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be tighter or that, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: She's not gonna like my jokes and ship, you know,
Speaker 1: So that's fair. I think what's fascinating in this conspiracy theory,
Speaker 1: or certainly has so much to explore in this conspiracy
Speaker 1: theory is what the intention of the sort of white
Speaker 1: Hollywood is in controlling black hair? Do you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? Like, what what's your goal here? What is
Speaker 1: what are you ultimately trying to achieve in your control
Speaker 1: of black hair? Well diversity without being too diverse? Mm
Speaker 1: hmmm without without I don't know what's scary to uh.
Speaker 1: I mean, there's pretty conceived notions about different types of hairstyles.
Speaker 1: So if you got dreads, you're radical, or you smoke weed,
Speaker 1: or you know, if you're natural, maybe you in the
Speaker 1: front of the Black Lives Matter protests or whatever they think,
Speaker 1: which isn't necessarily true, but in Hollywood don't really move quickly.
Speaker 1: So the same stereotypes they had in the eighties are
Speaker 1: the same one they judging us by now you know,
Speaker 1: I changed my hair every five seconds, so who am?
Speaker 1: Who am I? But you know, I'm sure you show
Speaker 1: up to work and they're like, that's a new lady,
Speaker 1: so fast. It was you had a bob yesterday and
Speaker 1: it's down to your fun. You black people are amazing
Speaker 1: Black girl magic. Anyway, I think you're making a very
Speaker 1: valid point that so much of this is rooted in
Speaker 1: like antiquated stereotypes, right that, like what white people were
Speaker 1: scared of in nineties six about black associations and hairstyles
Speaker 1: is still the exact same thing that they're pretty much
Speaker 1: afraid of today. I feel like, you know, outside of Hollywood,
Speaker 1: it's still true that white people don't have many encounters
Speaker 1: with black people, so they still everything they believe is
Speaker 1: still what's on TV or what they saw back then,
Speaker 1: and then I don't think they until recently even went
Speaker 1: out of their way to see us. So it's just
Speaker 1: what they happened to see in a movie with a
Speaker 1: black person one time. You know, they're not necessary seeking
Speaker 1: out black entertainment. Always say that this what's happening now
Speaker 1: with diversity and always having to include a black person
Speaker 1: or one of each and all of that I don't know. Sure,
Speaker 1: I'm happy for the work, but I don't know if
Speaker 1: that makes better products. And it's not realistic because a
Speaker 1: lot of white people they hang out with people that
Speaker 1: look like them. It's it's yeah, I hate when I'm
Speaker 1: watching a white production and then here it comes as
Speaker 1: black dude, like, yo, what up? Like they would never
Speaker 1: be friends, you know what I mean. And you don't
Speaker 1: have to trick me. You don't have to wedge this
Speaker 1: person in here because you feel bad about not casting someone,
Speaker 1: Like like writing the story with a black person in
Speaker 1: it just right. You write the story you know how
Speaker 1: to write, and hopefully the story you know how to
Speaker 1: write includes black people. But it shouldn't just be you
Speaker 1: turn this into a black character for a reason. And
Speaker 1: what would happen in the eighties is not eighties. In
Speaker 1: the nineties with the black guy that would show up
Speaker 1: with the hey what up? Would always have a blacks haircut,
Speaker 1: would always have a wack haircut. And I think that's
Speaker 1: just stuck right, And I think part of it is
Speaker 1: like you can't have the one dude show up who's
Speaker 1: like the best friend and he looks sexy and flexy.
Speaker 1: You tried to show up and look like average and
Speaker 1: something that can fade into the background. We don't need
Speaker 1: this mother. Well. Also, I think just from experience, dudes,
Speaker 1: black dudes who's walking around with them type of head cuts,
Speaker 1: grew up around white people. They're going up, what's the
Speaker 1: what's supercut? Super cut? Exactly? They and you know, letting
Speaker 1: barb cut their here or whatever. I mean, I've lived
Speaker 1: in neighborhoods like that, where's no black barbershop, where else
Speaker 1: you're gonna go? You know? So uh as a as
Speaker 1: a I've only been a victim once, but as a
Speaker 1: former victim of super cuts, I can't say I can
Speaker 1: say that it's never going to turn out to be
Speaker 1: the experience you wanted to be. I wouldn't imagine why
Speaker 1: you would think that, But you know, when you're a
Speaker 1: boy growing up in the suburbs, you get desperate. You
Speaker 1: start to think, like, I want to look good. Maybe
Speaker 1: this this white lady can help me out. I've done
Speaker 1: my kids old school where I just went on some
Speaker 1: YouTube bens and said, let me figure out how to
Speaker 1: cut this ship, because I don't you know, I mean,
Speaker 1: we're at a certain point. My mom was cutting my
Speaker 1: hair and she wasn't good at it, and YouTube didn't exist,
Speaker 1: so it was like she's just like making some ship
Speaker 1: up and it wasn't helping. And then I thought like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be a big boy and independent and try
Speaker 1: this on my own. And you know, you you funk up.
Speaker 1: But so and so did they cut your hair with
Speaker 1: the scissors. Of course, that's that's where they start. And
Speaker 1: then you walk out You're like, okay, line me up,
Speaker 1: and then you got bangs. For some reason, it's just,
Speaker 1: you know, I feel like that's the writer of passage
Speaker 1: from black people here, Like I've definitely sat down in
Speaker 1: a white woman's chair, Like actually that just happened to
Speaker 1: me on sat where it's so funny because because of YouTube.
Speaker 1: This is off topic, but because of YouTube, and I
Speaker 1: appreciate it. You know, there's the white hair solids are
Speaker 1: trying to learn about black hair more. And this woman
Speaker 1: was so proud of having some edge control gel like
Speaker 1: she pulled it out, Like before she pulled it out,
Speaker 1: her face was beaming. I was like, what was she
Speaker 1: about to pull out? Because she was like, I'm about
Speaker 1: to fucking blow this chick's mind. Like and she pulled
Speaker 1: out this edge control and brush, and she's like, should
Speaker 1: I do your edges? And I just she couldn't wait
Speaker 1: to say that, you know, she was up all night
Speaker 1: and look how nice I am. I said, sure, I
Speaker 1: ain't need a head that ship. But I was like,
Speaker 1: you look so excited to crack open and it was fresh,
Speaker 1: not one fingerprinting that ship. I was the first. She
Speaker 1: killed it, no meaning when she opened the gael, I
Speaker 1: was obviously the first. She hadn't even put her finger
Speaker 1: in it yet it was a fresh move surface. I
Speaker 1: was the first edges she had ever brushed down. She
Speaker 1: was cracking the seal on this edge control jail exactly.
Speaker 1: She was waiting for you, and and to your point,
Speaker 1: that's very nice that she tried. But whatever. The more
Speaker 1: wanted alternative is that they left black people into the
Speaker 1: unions for her styling on sets. But anyway, so that
Speaker 1: would be so ideal, I too have had some horrifying
Speaker 1: that stories where it's just like you show up and
Speaker 1: they don't have a black barber, and if they do,
Speaker 1: it's not really a black barber. It's just like somebody
Speaker 1: who qualifies as being able to do ethnic hair, which
Speaker 1: doesn't mean anything. It's like you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: goddamn thing, black hair, That's what I wanted. Do you
Speaker 1: know how to be a nigga and a barbershop? Can
Speaker 1: you cut my hair while you tell me about you
Speaker 1: cheating on your wife? The kind of energy I need
Speaker 1: to get a solid hair, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: So that brings us back to our conspiracy and that
Speaker 1: I think part of the reason black dudes with horrible
Speaker 1: haircuts are more palatable and safer to white people is
Speaker 1: that they know that they're not experiencing the indoctrinate nation
Speaker 1: or what the is the indoctri nation of black barbershops.
Speaker 1: Who knows what they think it's happening in there. Probably
Speaker 1: they think we in there getting radical make plans with
Speaker 1: each other. Whoa theory? Wait, I'm must Let's take a
Speaker 1: step back. I really thought about this. You might have
Speaker 1: just you might have just cracked open something that I
Speaker 1: need you to really explore this. This brings me to
Speaker 1: a section of the show that I like to call
Speaker 1: talk that talk, and what you're suggesting is groundbreaking in
Speaker 1: a way that I never expected. So, Janelle, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: give you thirty seconds, thirty seconds to just break down
Speaker 1: exactly what you mean about this potential indoctrination from the
Speaker 1: black barbershop. Whenever you're ready, I'm ready. So I think
Speaker 1: black barbershops is one of the few spaces that white
Speaker 1: people have not gentrified, and so they don't know what
Speaker 1: the fund is happening in there, and usually just based
Speaker 1: on behaviors that are and things that are happening and
Speaker 1: have always happened, they for whatever reason, having their head
Speaker 1: that anytime we're left to our own devices, that we're
Speaker 1: plotting against them. So if you're in a barbershop with
Speaker 1: the fresh fade, oh and don't have a fresh line
Speaker 1: up all the time, I mean you and this so
Speaker 1: much who knows what? They are? Scary scared of the unknown,
Speaker 1: which is is the basis for a lot of basing.
Speaker 1: There is oh man, that's okay, now, okay that oh,
Speaker 1: now you crack something open, because I think that's exactly right.
Speaker 1: I think there's this constant fear of what we're doing
Speaker 1: without them, and so they are essentially making us get
Speaker 1: our hair cut by white people or by sort of
Speaker 1: like their insiders, so that they can avoid the risk
Speaker 1: that we're constantly treading in this space that they're afraid
Speaker 1: to enter on their own, and then there's a constant
Speaker 1: risk that maybe if I'm alone with my barber, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be planning some sort of like terrorist attack against
Speaker 1: the the white community who cut by a dude who
Speaker 1: has bad opinions about like women and Lebron Like I don't.
Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be all that well, you know,
Speaker 1: I found that white people think we think about their
Speaker 1: way more than we do. So that's what I think
Speaker 1: is happening. Uh, Honestly, this changed everything for me and
Speaker 1: I I've got more reading to do because this is powerful.
Speaker 1: All Right, We're gonna take a break and then we're
Speaker 1: gonna be back with more Janelle James and more, my
Speaker 1: mama told me. And we are bad anyway. Yeah, We're
Speaker 1: back here with more Janelle James and more. My mama
Speaker 1: told me. We're still talking about those trash gass hairlines
Speaker 1: that Hollywood approves and allows people to excel in their
Speaker 1: careers based on the fucked up linings that they put
Speaker 1: out in the world. Do you think this extends beyond Hollywood?
Speaker 1: Do you think that this goes into other spaces of six? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean every big purchase I've ever made that was
Speaker 1: from a black man was with a dude with a hairline.
Speaker 1: My car, my house is always a guy, come on back,
Speaker 1: got the papers for you? That those only people that
Speaker 1: they let get the papers, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: So I ain't never bought nothing expensive from a sharp airline, right.
Speaker 1: I started thinking about it in terms of like politicians, right,
Speaker 1: even beyond politics, like he sort of like massive figures
Speaker 1: in history, Barack Obama not that great of a hairline,
Speaker 1: Martin Luther King Jr. Ain't nobody talking about that fate
Speaker 1: Nelson Mandela. You think they would let him be Nelson
Speaker 1: Mandela if he didn't have that slick back afro do
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like I will say Barack
Speaker 1: cadd stuff. I will say Barack just like his pol
Speaker 1: takes really walk the line of his hairline, Like he
Speaker 1: has a hairline, but he ain't too sharp, you know what?
Speaker 1: He's laughing to laugh like that's his that's his play.
Speaker 1: That's exactly right, and we're not gonna you know that,
Speaker 1: we're not gonna roast him. But then white people are like, Okay,
Speaker 1: well it's fuzzy, it's funny. Sometimes he was like, hey,
Speaker 1: line me up, but don't you hit them corners. Dare
Speaker 1: hit them corners, you leave them corners. So exactly, I
Speaker 1: can't afford for these motherfucker's to get uncomfortable with my corners.
Speaker 1: I feel like that's how he lives life right in
Speaker 1: the middle, right middle Real by Rachel oh Man. That
Speaker 1: hurts my feelings. I have some research that I love
Speaker 1: to unpack with you, because I do think that there's
Speaker 1: a lot of legitimacy to this conspiracy theory. One of
Speaker 1: the things that I found, one of the as we
Speaker 1: were measuring success, I guess the easiest sort of like
Speaker 1: a measure of success or clearest measure of success was
Speaker 1: to go to the Forbes list of billionaires, right, And
Speaker 1: of the two thousand, one hundred and fifty three people
Speaker 1: listed on the Forbes list of billionaires last year, that's
Speaker 1: saying that, no, you're right, hundred people are billionaires. That
Speaker 1: doesn't even make sense, But go ahead. So I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: and we're out here starving and freezing, and by we,
Speaker 1: I mean y'all, I'm fine. But the point is, oh,
Speaker 1: it's coming for us. It is I'm not. I'm not
Speaker 1: far enough into any game to get to be exactly
Speaker 1: from this exactly, but so of the people, thirteen of
Speaker 1: them are black. In the world. Of those thirteen, that's
Speaker 1: another I'm surprised. Oh it's more than you expect, more
Speaker 1: than I thought. I wouldn't even think they were let
Speaker 1: that many of us get there, for sure. Yeah, they
Speaker 1: let thirteens slip through. And of those thirteen, all thirteen
Speaker 1: of them are black men with trash hairlines or that's
Speaker 1: the that's the breakdown. I think there's another lady in there,
Speaker 1: but that's not the way the bits go. And every
Speaker 1: single one of them, I'll read you something. Some of
Speaker 1: them are concrete tycoons and Michael Jordan's and uh yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm looking now. These are dudes. They just put on
Speaker 1: the number five guard and go straight back. I just
Speaker 1: run this through. I'm just run this through like a
Speaker 1: comb just straight back. Hey man, hit me with that
Speaker 1: lawnmower and keep it moving down. Time I have to
Speaker 1: go shut down an orphanage room. Take the perimeter, just
Speaker 1: take it down to take the shrubbery. You know, I
Speaker 1: think to your point, there's not a lot of evidence
Speaker 1: of like a dude at the highest level of at
Speaker 1: least certainly like financial success that looks like he goes
Speaker 1: to a black barbershop. I'm telling you, it's all around
Speaker 1: the barbershop. These dudes are not known. I mean, you're
Speaker 1: a billionaire. First of all, you have your own barber,
Speaker 1: but this you ain't in the shop getting indoctuated being
Speaker 1: around other brothers. You're already a billionaire, so you're already
Speaker 1: a black billionaire. So you're already isolated. So your only
Speaker 1: peers of other white people, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: you can't be in there with the waves and a
Speaker 1: wave cap, like get out of here. And at that point,
Speaker 1: who are you doing it for? Right? Like if, like
Speaker 1: you said, if my peers are all white people who
Speaker 1: give the fun if straight hair line, they can't tell
Speaker 1: the difference. Now, I will say I was surprised that
Speaker 1: jay Z went locks after billionaire. That's almost like a
Speaker 1: little fuck you if you think about it. I mean,
Speaker 1: jay Z wasn't known for his hair to begin with.
Speaker 1: True that, true that, But he's gone like in a
Speaker 1: real wacky way right now that you know I was
Speaker 1: surprised about. I almost jay Z is a fascinating one though,
Speaker 1: because I do you think he's almost playing both sides right,
Speaker 1: because you see this dude who now like you said,
Speaker 1: he sort of has like this afrol lock sort of
Speaker 1: look now, which makes him very like connected to Africa
Speaker 1: and blackness and all this other stuff, while simultaneously having
Speaker 1: a hairstyle that you see on like Cheerios commercials, do
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like they put like a
Speaker 1: curly haired black man in the Cheerios commercial and make him,
Speaker 1: uh say, how yummy honey is on his oaks? And
Speaker 1: I knew jay Z crossed over when he I saw
Speaker 1: footage of him. I think it was he was at
Speaker 1: a basketball game with Beyonce and the story was about
Speaker 1: how they must have had an argument because Beyonce had
Speaker 1: a bad look on her face or something. But what
Speaker 1: I noticed was at one point, jay Z spots another
Speaker 1: I can only assume super rich friend across the way,
Speaker 1: and he waved at them in his hands straight out
Speaker 1: and just did the fingers. That's that's I was like,
Speaker 1: that's not Brooklyn bo Jason. Jay Z is waving like
Speaker 1: to the lou Yes, a real fucking Samantha asked, wiggle
Speaker 1: figure a real see you at the tennis courts tomorrow
Speaker 1: type wave, and I was like, oh, they got him, so,
Speaker 1: so that's what makes the hair confusing because he is
Speaker 1: definitely playing both sides. I mean, I don't think he
Speaker 1: I think jay Z is a smart enough dude to
Speaker 1: be aware that, like, all right, I can't be a
Speaker 1: trash hairline guy, but I can be sort of like
Speaker 1: this weird acartistic going in I collect paintings now in
Speaker 1: a museum technica. Yeah, I get it, yep, I love this.
Speaker 1: And there's so many other great examples of people who
Speaker 1: have reached sort of like a weird peak with like
Speaker 1: terrible hairlines. Tiger Woods is a great example. Never got
Speaker 1: but he did he have a claim us. I don't
Speaker 1: think that Tiger ever said he was tell me had
Speaker 1: a black daddy. It's hard not to that was his
Speaker 1: best friend. I don't think that he wanted to, but right,
Speaker 1: I mean, I ain't pushing black on nobody don't want it.
Speaker 1: So that's why you ain't you only trying to say,
Speaker 1: be proud about it that I don't want you. But
Speaker 1: I just don't remember him ever saying that he's black,
Speaker 1: so he can had a headline for like that's fair.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna read you a quote. Don't claim him. You're
Speaker 1: not with me no more time. I'm not gay no more,
Speaker 1: you tiger, you something else, right, He's his own category,
Speaker 1: which is fine. So this has been an ongoing issue,
Speaker 1: so much so that in Hollywood Reporter wrote an article
Speaker 1: called Hollywood's Black hair problem on set We've all cried
Speaker 1: in our trailers, which basically chronicles like sort of and
Speaker 1: it's primarily women, but it chronicles the exactly what you
Speaker 1: were talking about, Yes, black women sort of being cast
Speaker 1: and then not having hairstylists on the other side and
Speaker 1: learn to show up already done exactly, and that's one
Speaker 1: of the things that people say. In the article, Natasha
Speaker 1: Rothwell talks a lot about how she has to wake
Speaker 1: up an hour early from the time she would have
Speaker 1: normally woke up just so she could do her hair,
Speaker 1: show up on set and not let them like do
Speaker 1: something way worse to it. Again, off topic, because this
Speaker 1: is about male hellines, but this also goes to white
Speaker 1: people not being around us. They don't even know what
Speaker 1: our hair is supposed to look like. You know what
Speaker 1: I mean, I've purposely showed up on set looking fucked
Speaker 1: Like if I walked into a black room, y'all would
Speaker 1: be like, what the fun I've purposely gone on set
Speaker 1: and being like, no, I'm good and have the hair
Speaker 1: stylis look at me and like you look great, Like
Speaker 1: they have no idea. Yeah, they're like, okay, I have
Speaker 1: to be like no, I'm joking. I just woke up.
Speaker 1: Then they're like, oh, because they just don't know. Oh
Speaker 1: thank god, I hated what I saw, but I didn't know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: not even that they hated that. They just don't know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they just don't know. I don't like the Oh, if
Speaker 1: you don't have any black friends, you not that, because
Speaker 1: there's many places in America where you can walk around
Speaker 1: for days and not see one of us, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. So, but once you get up into
Speaker 1: Hollywood and you and where on set, these are things
Speaker 1: we have to even have someone who knows for they
Speaker 1: have to be trained. They're not training them to do
Speaker 1: our hair, which means that this is an industry that
Speaker 1: was set up with no thought of us ever being
Speaker 1: in it, right, you know, I think that's exactly right.
Speaker 1: And this is where it gets even more fascinating for me,
Speaker 1: is that this conversation extends well beyond the industry, right that, like,
Speaker 1: there's so many different examples of sort of this war
Speaker 1: on black hair in other spaces. For example, a student
Speaker 1: is sent home from Christ the King Elementary School in Terrytown,
Speaker 1: Louisiana because she's wearing box braids. They basically just decide
Speaker 1: box braids are wrong. For a different time in two
Speaker 1: thousand and eighteen, where a six year old a six
Speaker 1: year old is sent home band from school because he
Speaker 1: has locks, and the principal like justifies this as being
Speaker 1: a rule that's been in the schools like doctrine since
Speaker 1: nineteen seventy one, and he's like, dude, I'm the first
Speaker 1: black person hit right, right, I never it's a racial band.
Speaker 1: You're just asking it under protective hairstyle, right. And this
Speaker 1: is also again, this is fair of the unknown. They
Speaker 1: don't know what these hairstyles means. It makes them uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: It's not they're not around it. They don't. It's too different,
Speaker 1: it's too black, and it reminds them that we exists. Basically, yes,
Speaker 1: and to your earlier point, nineteen seventy one was when
Speaker 1: you established this rule, because you're basing it off of
Speaker 1: fears that existed in nine exactly, like, we're not even
Speaker 1: afraid of the same ship that we were afraid in
Speaker 1: nineteen seventy one. We were afraid that Russians were gonna
Speaker 1: knuke us through like weird satellites in the sky. Now
Speaker 1: we know they're gonna knoke us through like elections and
Speaker 1: weird emails and Facebook messages, and it's a completely different world.
Speaker 1: And they're more of a poisoning kind of people rather
Speaker 1: than nukes. And now we're finding out, you know, that's
Speaker 1: their thing. We would see in the bombs they do.
Speaker 1: They're more poison people. You know some correct yourself, yeah,
Speaker 1: update your but talking about I mean, this is also
Speaker 1: entertainment industry, but I feel like the patron saint of
Speaker 1: safe hairstyles. It's Bill Cosby, Bill Tosby and every dude
Speaker 1: that he had on that show. Yes, Elvin, Elvin's thirty campus,
Speaker 1: trash that hit cut, the dude in the military, Denise's husband,
Speaker 1: trash like that never had a sweet line up on them.
Speaker 1: If anyone of them girls showed up with a do
Speaker 1: rag nigga and lost his mind, yeah, I think that's
Speaker 1: now you're talking. Now you're really talking. Because THEO was
Speaker 1: about to go on a date wearing a Gordon Guard
Speaker 1: trail and had a trash lineup. He wouldn't even let
Speaker 1: THEE have a real flat top. It was like it
Speaker 1: was an afro that he panted into a flat. Uh,
Speaker 1: he shaped into a flat And I think Cosby knew
Speaker 1: the whole time. Cosby was the king of of sort
Speaker 1: of like respectability politics, and that man knew that if
Speaker 1: he had THEO looking too much like Jalen Roseye, THEO
Speaker 1: was not an endearing character to his white audience exactly
Speaker 1: that it would have It would have been a special episode.
Speaker 1: THEO gets a line UPO gets a lineup and gets
Speaker 1: kicked out of the family, Like you've been over to Flatbush. Well,
Speaker 1: you know who cut your hair? Was like in a
Speaker 1: Clinton Hill or something, right, Yeah, it was like Brooklyn Heights.
Speaker 1: So that that episode, THEO went across the tracks Tosh
Speaker 1: or whatever and got a haircut, and now the whole
Speaker 1: family got to do a dance to convince him to
Speaker 1: come back. THEO took the two train too far, and
Speaker 1: now we don't know if we swim anymore. Right, all right?
Speaker 1: So in two thousand nineteen, and this is interesting, Corey
Speaker 1: Booker into another trash hairline. Uh. Corey Booker introduced the
Speaker 1: Crown Act, which is an act meant to protect against
Speaker 1: discrimination based on hair, specifically for black people with tightly
Speaker 1: coiled or protective styles. Uh. And it's only been accepted
Speaker 1: since two thousand nineteen in three states, California, New York,
Speaker 1: and New Jersey. Everybody else can still fire you or
Speaker 1: keep you from a school based on your hair if
Speaker 1: they want to. And let me tell you that that
Speaker 1: this was a conscious choice. But this is why comedy
Speaker 1: has been such a relief for me, because I've had
Speaker 1: corporate jobs and worked in offices, and I just cannot
Speaker 1: see me as myself as an adult having other adults
Speaker 1: telling me what to do with my head. It's just
Speaker 1: it's so demeaning. It's so demeaning, it's so Uh. You
Speaker 1: take people's humanity, like become be this other thing in
Speaker 1: order to earn money for the job that you're doing. Right,
Speaker 1: take And I think that's such an important point because
Speaker 1: I think at the essence of what we're talking about
Speaker 1: is an ability to take away someone's confidence, right, the
Speaker 1: thing that makes them feel most themselves. Oftentimes we look
Speaker 1: exactly and so I do think to your earlier point,
Speaker 1: this is like an intentional want to damage our confidence
Speaker 1: and keep us in this place of emotional disarray force assimilation. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so either you look a little ashy, you look a
Speaker 1: little bummy, or you look your best, but you're not
Speaker 1: welcome in you know, whatever country. And also your best
Speaker 1: intimidates me. I don't like you looking better than me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we'll look better than a black man, shined up, teeth
Speaker 1: flinging charm. He's spinning your wife out at the company
Speaker 1: picnic and ship she giggling. Nobody wants that. Come in
Speaker 1: here with this fun up line up and stop intimidating me.
Speaker 1: That's one I'm scared to put Idris in the James bond.
Speaker 1: Come on, who do you want to go? Follow him?
Speaker 1: They because they know that white tuxedo that's gonna look
Speaker 1: better on that chocolate skin than anybody. But Idris gets bond,
Speaker 1: his love interest is gonna be the blackest bitch on
Speaker 1: the planet. It's they will never let him. It just
Speaker 1: blows up the whole, just the whole theory that this
Speaker 1: is like the best thing if you make him bond,
Speaker 1: and so you have to keep him sort of, you know,
Speaker 1: they need him be loother. It's also it's him with
Speaker 1: a trans hairline. That's the only difference I mean he
Speaker 1: pulls it off. But anyway, all right, put your loins away,
Speaker 1: let's focus on the argument here. All wet over there,
Speaker 1: let's forgot. I ain't got no shirt on. I forgot.
Speaker 1: I bumped up on the table for men and got excited.
Speaker 1: My bad um. But in his British luthor, yeah, all
Speaker 1: his love interests are white women. I don't know if
Speaker 1: you know, and his sidekicks are black women. I'm saying
Speaker 1: if they did a bond that was a US based production,
Speaker 1: they would not let him have a white love interest.
Speaker 1: I don't It wouldn't be alec wet or something like
Speaker 1: that he would have to have because part of it
Speaker 1: is again where the theory being that certain white people
Speaker 1: are still afraid of old uh stereotypes. The black buck
Speaker 1: that's coming to still your woman really does play into that.
Speaker 1: So right, my guesses is that if they make him
Speaker 1: the bond that he deserves to be, they're probably gonna
Speaker 1: give him like some vaguely ethnically like sort of ambiguous
Speaker 1: woman to give him like a Prianka Chopra what I mean,
Speaker 1: and let that be his love interest that doesn't offend
Speaker 1: them as much as black women do. For whatever reason,
Speaker 1: the idea of black women having sex consensually is very
Speaker 1: upsetting to Hollywood. That's a whole other bagga. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it gets sad at the end. I get that. All right,
Speaker 1: We're gonna take another break and we'll be back with
Speaker 1: more Janelle James and more of My mama told me
Speaker 1: we are back. I got brown guidance. Ain't nobody got
Speaker 1: time for that. We're back here with more. My mama
Speaker 1: told me more Janelle James. We have I think fully
Speaker 1: unpacked the possibility that this is all rooted in a
Speaker 1: fear of the black barbershop and really a fear of
Speaker 1: black revolution that they, the white people, think is coming
Speaker 1: out of the black barbershop. It's all scary and exciting.
Speaker 1: I love where we're headed. And you know, jokes on
Speaker 1: them because those heirlines, I mean, I feel like that's
Speaker 1: some undercovered spyship. Okay, okay, I like where this is going.
Speaker 1: Tell me more so you trusting the fun up heirlines,
Speaker 1: But they know what they're doing to get up in
Speaker 1: your space. Yeah, you you fucked up my airline, but
Speaker 1: you didn't take my mind from me. I still connected
Speaker 1: to any I'm I'm still working with a people. So yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: that's right. You made my airline look like sharp teeth.
Speaker 1: But guess what, motherfucker, I'm gonna go report back everything
Speaker 1: I've learned on set or in this community or in
Speaker 1: this boardroom channel, Barbershop Network. We gonna get you, motherfucker.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. All right, let's play a game. I
Speaker 1: have a fun game that I like to play. This
Speaker 1: game is called Ugly. You're disgusting. I'm gonna kill you.
Speaker 1: Give me two. This is white Lines. It's a it's
Speaker 1: a fun game where I will introduce to you, Janelle,
Speaker 1: a traditional white conspiracy, a very famous white conspiracy. And
Speaker 1: then I would like you to take the time to
Speaker 1: unpack that conspiracy, really break it all down. Why do
Speaker 1: you think white people care about this conspiracy so much?
Speaker 1: What are these sneaky motherfucker's up to? Yeah, but your
Speaker 1: goofy on, uh, put on, light up your eyes, do
Speaker 1: whatever you gotta do to really to really open that
Speaker 1: third eye. And let's get into this. Have you ever
Speaker 1: heard of the conspiracy Paul is Dead? No? Okay, so
Speaker 1: there is a conspiracy, a claim that the Beatles member
Speaker 1: Paul McCartney in nineteen sixty six died in a car crash,
Speaker 1: and uh, he was replaced by a man named Billy
Speaker 1: Shears who looked like him and then became the Paul
Speaker 1: McCartney we now know today. This has been spread over
Speaker 1: decades of Beatles you know whatever conspiracies, and so much
Speaker 1: so that even in the cover of Abbey Road they
Speaker 1: claimed that Paul is wearing a suit that signifies him
Speaker 1: at his funeral and he has no shoes on as
Speaker 1: he's crossing Abbey Road, which I guess implies that he is.
Speaker 1: I don't know, bare Field get buried in You don't
Speaker 1: get buried in shoes, don't Yeah, listen, I don't get
Speaker 1: what they're doing. But what I would love for you
Speaker 1: to do is explained to me. Why after decades of
Speaker 1: this conspiracy continuing, why it is so important that white
Speaker 1: people believe that Paul McCartney died in that car crash.
Speaker 1: That's a tough one because, uh, it makes absolutely no sense,
Speaker 1: But so they the conspiracy is that they want to
Speaker 1: believe that he's dead. Maybe they know that they've founded
Speaker 1: him and the Beatles, and you know, it's such bad
Speaker 1: because the Beatles were the Michael Jackson of their time.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean right right. They were the biggest,
Speaker 1: they were the baddest, they were all the things. I
Speaker 1: would think a better conspiracy would be that he faked
Speaker 1: his death or something like that to get away from
Speaker 1: the limelight and he was tired of the of the
Speaker 1: business and then kind of like Tupac is in in
Speaker 1: on an Island, chilling, right, Okay, that Paul McCartney just
Speaker 1: wanted out from the property. I can't even wrap my
Speaker 1: mind around this conspiracy that he's dead and replaced for what?
Speaker 1: For what purpose? Is are the Beatles still touring? Is
Speaker 1: he's still collecting? Right? Right? At this point, Paul McCartney
Speaker 1: just shows up on S and L every day. Was
Speaker 1: he murdered? Is that part of the conspiracy? That well,
Speaker 1: it was that the car crash killed him on accident.
Speaker 1: It wasn't on purpose. And so instead of I think
Speaker 1: the hope or at least what they're suggest thing is
Speaker 1: that instead of losing the Beatles and their front man,
Speaker 1: right because him and Lennon were basically like they just
Speaker 1: they just happened to have a ringer just ready to
Speaker 1: jump in, just just ready at the ready, because they
Speaker 1: had already thought about this, like what if if fall dies,
Speaker 1: we're gonna who we're gonna have. We're blowing up right now,
Speaker 1: and I can't suck this money up. So like I
Speaker 1: that's that is fun to believe that every famous artist
Speaker 1: has a double placement dude, that that the evil record
Speaker 1: company just has on standby, like y'all about to sunk
Speaker 1: up this money. We now, we gotta finish this towards Billy.
Speaker 1: You up like you're saying Bruno Mars was in a
Speaker 1: plane crash. Well that's you, James. You gotta come on,
Speaker 1: you gotta go do your job. You see how fast
Speaker 1: they got Kevin Hard out of that car accident, Like yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean conspiracy right, know what happened with that whole situation? Uh? Kevin?
Speaker 1: I respect you and would love to work on the
Speaker 1: movie with you. Later you'll see Janelle and Pets three
Speaker 1: coming out. Fingers motherfucking crossed. Um. I think this is
Speaker 1: a fascinating train to go down that Hollywood does have fixers.
Speaker 1: I do believe in that people that make things happen,
Speaker 1: and but I don't know why people would want to
Speaker 1: believe this conspiracy. Well, I think to your point, it
Speaker 1: really is the maintaining of the status quo. Right, that like,
Speaker 1: as long as this person continues to exist and and
Speaker 1: these entities seem unharmed and unchanged, we have our power.
Speaker 1: At the point that they seem fallible, they can be
Speaker 1: broken suddenly our power is not as everlasting. And yeah,
Speaker 1: kind of. But the conspiracy is that people think he's
Speaker 1: dead though, so it's not. They don't believe that this
Speaker 1: current Paul McCartney, who I just googled, that's on a
Speaker 1: canoe on a river somewhere, enjoying quarantine. They don't think
Speaker 1: that's him. Goddamn sense to me, right, But that's the Internet, right,
Speaker 1: or that's the Internet of old. I think that the powers,
Speaker 1: what is their motivation for it? I think their want
Speaker 1: is to maintain status quo. Now to your point, why
Speaker 1: do random people want to believe that? Right? That's the
Speaker 1: part that scares me. I can understand wanting to believe
Speaker 1: to pockets still alive, but wanting to believe that Paul
Speaker 1: McCartney is dead and it's now replaced. And it's not
Speaker 1: even some out there conspiracy like he's been replaced by
Speaker 1: lizard person or an alien or cloning or anything. It's
Speaker 1: a man named Jimmy. She dude, he's not. That's not
Speaker 1: even a sexy name. Nobody gets corny for Jimmy Shears.
Speaker 1: They find him in a hotel lobby and a Beatles
Speaker 1: cover band and they say, hey, get those shoes off.
Speaker 1: We're gonna need to make a weird album cover. We
Speaker 1: wanted to be dead, but we want to tell people
Speaker 1: a secret to he alive. I mean the whole thing.
Speaker 1: Don't ask questions. There's got some money, We'll leave some
Speaker 1: little hints and everywhere we go you'll you'll be Paul
Speaker 1: from down. Yeah, we don't give a fuck. We're willing
Speaker 1: to risk it all for a little old Marges towards death. Well, Janelle,
Speaker 1: I think we did it. Couldn't think we nailed it.
Speaker 1: This was a fantastic episode. Could you tell the people
Speaker 1: where they can find you any cool stuff you have
Speaker 1: going on? Yeah, you can find me on line and
Speaker 1: in my online you know, and in my house basically
Speaker 1: because I'm in quarantine like everybody else. Uh. But watch
Speaker 1: Black Monday. Uh, I'm on season two and it's a
Speaker 1: fantastic black ass show and I'm proud of it. Watch
Speaker 1: my Netflix. Uh comedy lineup? Uh, I don't know, Google me.
Speaker 1: I'm out there. Yeah, google her, she's out there and
Speaker 1: uh Netflix her Netflix specialist hilarious Black Monday. Listen to
Speaker 1: my album Black and Mile. The comic just offered to
Speaker 1: pay me to listen to my album, which is like
Speaker 1: it's quarantine dropping everybody crazy that's crazy and will send
Speaker 1: their email over to me. I was touched, but but yeah,
Speaker 1: listen to that. It's the thing I'm most proud of.
Speaker 1: And I guess my kids too or whatever. But yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess my kids cool. But Black and Mild That's
Speaker 1: where I really feel like I nailed it. I kill
Speaker 1: that ship. All right. Well, this has been another episode
Speaker 1: of My Mama told me once again, follow us and
Speaker 1: and like and subscribe on whatever platforms you do that ship.
Speaker 1: Oh and last thing, if you have anything that you
Speaker 1: would like to send us, drops, artwork, alien, dick Pis,
Speaker 1: whatever it may be, please send those to my Mama
Speaker 1: pot at gmail dot com. I would love to see it.
Speaker 1: I would love to read it. I would love to
Speaker 1: experience it and potentially play it in one of our episodes.
Speaker 1: Have a good day because I've been grown Davies my
Speaker 1: crop chips in your hands a quala mares are racist.
Speaker 1: The also players, mostly money, runy turkey stuff I can't
Speaker 1: tell me