WEBVTT - Throwback Episode: Dreams Are Free 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:04.440 Happy Happy holidays, Brown Ambition Fam, it's Mandra here. As 0:00:04.440 --> 0:00:06.920 you guys know, Tiff and I are taking a little 0:00:06.960 --> 0:00:09.280 break before the new year, but we've still got you 0:00:09.360 --> 0:00:12.000 covered with some of our favorite Brown Ambition moments from 0:00:12.039 --> 0:00:15.400 twenty twenty one. All throughout this month, we're looking back 0:00:15.440 --> 0:00:20.160 at memorable conversations and breaking down the most important lessons 0:00:20.160 --> 0:00:22.919 we've learned this year. We can't thank you enough for 0:00:23.000 --> 0:00:26.160 sticking by us and what has become one of our 0:00:26.200 --> 0:00:30.400 biggest years for the show ever. So many amazing memories 0:00:30.400 --> 0:00:32.800 from this year, and I cannot wait to revisit some 0:00:32.880 --> 0:00:34.200 of them with all of you. Guys. 0:00:34.240 --> 0:00:51.200 Are beloved BA fam. 0:00:52.080 --> 0:00:57.520 Hey, hey, hey, I always forget this is not the budget, Like, wait, 0:00:57.600 --> 0:00:59.840 we're back, We're blacken. 0:01:01.440 --> 0:01:09.360 And hey Mandra, hey, I feel weird that I was 0:01:09.440 --> 0:01:10.240 just like. 0:01:10.319 --> 0:01:13.480 Dude, I know, Mandra came to my house and you 0:01:13.560 --> 0:01:16.319 got to meet my niece Pooh and mype my nephew Pooh. 0:01:16.600 --> 0:01:18.760 I did well. First of all, it was so good 0:01:18.760 --> 0:01:21.360 to see you in person, it really was. And even 0:01:21.360 --> 0:01:24.720 with your gimp shoulder, you know, I forgot about your 0:01:24.760 --> 0:01:26.600 gimpy shoulder. But I was like even before that, I 0:01:26.640 --> 0:01:29.720 was like don't squeeze her too hard like ring. But 0:01:29.800 --> 0:01:31.440 it was really really good to see you. It fed 0:01:31.480 --> 0:01:35.240 my soul to see you, and you guys will see 0:01:35.280 --> 0:01:39.119 that what we were up to. It's been almost six 0:01:39.200 --> 0:01:41.360 years and we have not had a fresh new luke 0:01:41.880 --> 0:01:44.880 as they say, in almost six years for the podcast. 0:01:44.920 --> 0:01:47.400 So you were getting some new picks taken. 0:01:47.600 --> 0:01:51.120 Yes, and honestly they were. They look fire. I'm just 0:01:51.160 --> 0:01:54.200 really excited because no, they do. Because well, one I 0:01:54.280 --> 0:01:58.320 brought in my makeup artist, Leela Nima shout out to you, Mala, 0:01:58.560 --> 0:02:01.720 she's a lie l I l A n e E 0:02:01.840 --> 0:02:05.440 m A on instant. Honestly, she's great because she's fast, 0:02:05.520 --> 0:02:08.880 she's professional and like you know, Mandy and I could 0:02:08.880 --> 0:02:12.480 not look more different. And yet the sleigh was was 0:02:12.600 --> 0:02:14.239 available and attainable. 0:02:13.760 --> 0:02:17.040 For us both, and I trusted her fully. I was like, 0:02:17.120 --> 0:02:18.560 because I had to go, you know, I was. I 0:02:18.919 --> 0:02:21.240 live about an hour away from tiff and so I 0:02:21.240 --> 0:02:23.240 didn't know anybody locally. So I was like, but I've 0:02:23.280 --> 0:02:26.320 seen Tiffany especially lately, and I'm like, she looks good, 0:02:26.560 --> 0:02:28.960 so I will trust you. Ever has been doing her face, 0:02:29.040 --> 0:02:32.000 so Leila did it, and she's she's a true artist. 0:02:32.000 --> 0:02:35.520 And I don't take makeup artists for granted, but she yeah, 0:02:35.560 --> 0:02:37.800 like you were saying, I mean, she knows exactly what 0:02:37.960 --> 0:02:41.079 medium you're using and how to make your face up 0:02:41.120 --> 0:02:44.280 for that medium. And yeah, six years ago, I did 0:02:44.320 --> 0:02:46.880 not have Alila. I did not have money for Alila. 0:02:47.000 --> 0:02:47.440 I had. 0:02:48.120 --> 0:02:51.119 I had my sad little drug store makeup and make 0:02:51.200 --> 0:02:53.000 up on the train on the way to Tiffany's apartment 0:02:53.000 --> 0:02:53.480 is out. 0:02:53.560 --> 0:02:54.959 You know, and I looked at I looked at the 0:02:54.960 --> 0:02:57.239 picture because I was like, did I get makeup done professionally? No? 0:02:57.440 --> 0:02:59.919 Because I know that eyelighter that is a Tiffany special. 0:03:01.480 --> 0:03:03.519 I was looking at it. I was like, oh my god, 0:03:03.560 --> 0:03:07.840 that's my birds pecelip gloss and that's you know. I 0:03:07.960 --> 0:03:11.000 was like that then I noticed me. So yeah, neither 0:03:11.040 --> 0:03:13.880 one of us had professional makeup. And honestly, what I 0:03:13.880 --> 0:03:16.360 love about Leilah because you don't, we don't look because 0:03:16.400 --> 0:03:18.160 you know, she knew we wanted to look natural. But 0:03:18.400 --> 0:03:20.920 it just honestly, they just look really great the pictures, 0:03:20.919 --> 0:03:23.560 every picture. And then Tanta, I mean you just she's 0:03:23.600 --> 0:03:24.839 an amazing photographer. 0:03:24.880 --> 0:03:28.880 So yeah, black girl magic all the way down, all 0:03:28.919 --> 0:03:33.160 the way. But then whenever you're around you can't. I 0:03:33.200 --> 0:03:34.720 was like, whenever you're around you and the people used 0:03:34.720 --> 0:03:37.600 around world, it's just all black girl magic. So your sister, 0:03:37.640 --> 0:03:42.400 I'm at Tracy Tracy pr publicist. 0:03:43.160 --> 0:03:46.200 Yeah, it was like, and I'm because honestly, my niece 0:03:46.240 --> 0:03:48.240 and my nephew they don't like people. The fact that 0:03:48.320 --> 0:03:50.200 like we always talking and day around the house and 0:03:50.240 --> 0:03:52.360 they were going room to room and they're the time 0:03:52.400 --> 0:03:53.840 to be like, oh there's someone on foot, let me 0:03:53.840 --> 0:03:55.480 go hide in the corner. And they were just like 0:03:55.480 --> 0:03:57.360 in there, like hey, hey lady. I'm like, they must 0:03:57.360 --> 0:03:59.040 smell me rio on you because I'm like, oh so 0:03:59.080 --> 0:04:01.520 you like you like miss May because y'all don't like nobody. 0:04:01.880 --> 0:04:03.280 She looked like she got snacks. 0:04:05.320 --> 0:04:07.360 So no, that was really fun. We just honestly, I 0:04:07.440 --> 0:04:10.680 just it. Plus it was just so empowering because I'm 0:04:10.720 --> 0:04:13.120 not gonna lie. Those pictures look so gorgeous, you know 0:04:13.280 --> 0:04:15.760 you Normally I'm just at home looking like how I'm looking, 0:04:15.880 --> 0:04:18.520 you know, And so when you get to take a 0:04:18.560 --> 0:04:21.680 photo and you know, with like the best makeup, with 0:04:21.760 --> 0:04:24.320 this amazing photographer, and you look at every picture of 0:04:24.320 --> 0:04:27.279 these are untouched pictures, and you're like, is that wah? 0:04:27.480 --> 0:04:29.640 I mean, I hope Mandy posts one picture that she has. 0:04:29.760 --> 0:04:32.680 It's like, I'm like, where is the lawyout where are 0:04:32.800 --> 0:04:35.440 where is? I don't even know? Like who makes makeup anymore? 0:04:35.960 --> 0:04:41.120 It looks like for real? I was like no, but 0:04:41.240 --> 0:04:44.680 meaning like it looked like an ad. You look so beautiful. 0:04:44.720 --> 0:04:47.400 It's like it was coming from the inside. It was 0:04:47.440 --> 0:04:50.960 the joy I really and I was really down when 0:04:50.960 --> 0:04:53.360 we when I showed up. It was not the day 0:04:53.400 --> 0:04:56.000 in my life when I necessarily would have chosen to 0:04:56.080 --> 0:04:58.200 have an entire photo shoot and have to put myself 0:04:58.200 --> 0:05:00.680 on camera like I was. You know, ladies, you know 0:05:00.800 --> 0:05:03.120 it was that time of the month, and I was like, 0:05:03.200 --> 0:05:05.920 why did I plan this? But by the time I 0:05:06.120 --> 0:05:08.919 was by the time I had like my girl Stacy 0:05:09.000 --> 0:05:11.080 did my got my curls right in the morning and 0:05:11.160 --> 0:05:13.359 she lifted me all the way up. I was like 0:05:13.400 --> 0:05:16.200 a pile of mud in her in her chair, and 0:05:16.279 --> 0:05:19.400 I just shout out to Stacy for real, because she 0:05:19.400 --> 0:05:21.640 she started my journey back to myself. And then by 0:05:21.640 --> 0:05:24.000 the time you get with Tiffany and Tanetta with her 0:05:24.040 --> 0:05:26.839 photography and then Leela with the makeup and all the 0:05:26.839 --> 0:05:29.760 good vibes. It really came from within and it was 0:05:29.920 --> 0:05:31.760 uh yeah, it was just the joy I think of. 0:05:31.800 --> 0:05:33.960 And also just being back together, you have that giddiness 0:05:34.040 --> 0:05:38.919 of like socializing again. It was it was good and 0:05:38.960 --> 0:05:41.960 I'm really glad that we we captured ourselves. It's been 0:05:42.000 --> 0:05:43.640 a long time. We've been talking about doing this for 0:05:43.680 --> 0:05:47.000 months and months and months, and I'll be honest, I 0:05:47.080 --> 0:05:49.000 used to be like, yeah, we don't really need to 0:05:49.000 --> 0:05:51.640 do Pansioner because like I've put on some weight since 0:05:51.920 --> 0:05:54.240 we did the first one. But you know what, screw it. 0:05:54.320 --> 0:05:56.919 Like I think at a certain point you just have 0:05:57.040 --> 0:06:00.640 to accept yourself in the in the space that you are. 0:06:00.680 --> 0:06:03.159 And I think my mind was really in a good place, 0:06:04.360 --> 0:06:06.560 which made it even more fun. So I can't wait 0:06:06.600 --> 0:06:09.000 to see for y'all to see the the picks and 0:06:09.000 --> 0:06:10.360 all the fun stuff we have coming up. 0:06:11.080 --> 0:06:16.080 Yes, speaking of minds and my mindset, so lately I 0:06:16.120 --> 0:06:18.800 have been really like, you know how like you hear 0:06:18.839 --> 0:06:20.760 all the like mumba, it seems like mumbo jump up, 0:06:20.839 --> 0:06:23.080 like mindset, change your mind set, change your life, and 0:06:23.080 --> 0:06:26.920 you're like yea, yeah, yeah, YadA, YadA, YadA, sma spata right, 0:06:27.000 --> 0:06:28.560 because that's usually what I think, and I'm like, I mean, 0:06:28.600 --> 0:06:31.359 I know it. I do believe, like you know, in 0:06:31.400 --> 0:06:34.040 the general principle of course, if you're always thinking negatively, 0:06:34.440 --> 0:06:38.560 negative things come about. But I have been like, that's 0:06:38.680 --> 0:06:41.960 that's like kind of been the next wave. So y'all know, 0:06:42.080 --> 0:06:45.320 I have a Zion who's my executive business coach, but 0:06:45.440 --> 0:06:47.839 I also have doctor Green who's my who's my professional coach, 0:06:47.839 --> 0:06:48.880 and she's also a therapist. 0:06:49.200 --> 0:06:51.200 And were you're still working with a business coach? 0:06:52.200 --> 0:06:54.839 So okay mm hm. So we have a year contract, 0:06:54.839 --> 0:06:57.000 so it's up in November. If we decide to move forward, 0:06:57.040 --> 0:06:59.920 then we will. So I meet with him every other week, 0:07:00.000 --> 0:07:01.359 and I meet with the same thing. I meet with 0:07:01.360 --> 0:07:05.000 doctor Green every other week as well. So one of 0:07:05.040 --> 0:07:06.600 the things that we've been working on, because if we've 0:07:06.640 --> 0:07:09.159 worked on so many different things, and you know, like 0:07:09.480 --> 0:07:13.080 me feeling more like in charge of my life and 0:07:13.200 --> 0:07:15.200 having the hard conversations and you know, I've been making 0:07:15.280 --> 0:07:17.760 progress if I do say so myself, and I do 0:07:17.920 --> 0:07:21.120 say so myself. So but then the next kind of 0:07:21.240 --> 0:07:25.600 step is I've always known, not always known, but you 0:07:25.640 --> 0:07:27.720 know how you know you have like I knew I 0:07:27.760 --> 0:07:31.440 had a limiting mindset because sometimes I just can't see 0:07:31.480 --> 0:07:33.840 a thing, even though, like for example, when we had 0:07:33.840 --> 0:07:40.880 Emman and Christina on oh yeah yeah arbag, remember that 0:07:41.000 --> 0:07:43.720 level of joy that they just exuded, Yeah, I was like, 0:07:44.160 --> 0:07:46.200 I don't think I could get there, because how do 0:07:46.240 --> 0:07:49.760 you get there? It's like sometimes it's like my mind 0:07:49.880 --> 0:07:53.440 used to really block that in order to be successful. 0:07:53.720 --> 0:07:55.600 I had told myself because this is what the world 0:07:55.600 --> 0:07:58.200 tells you, that you have to work really hard, but 0:07:58.240 --> 0:08:00.800 then if you want to go to the next level success, 0:08:01.080 --> 0:08:03.360 my assumption is like, let's just say, like I told 0:08:03.400 --> 0:08:06.680 you all, last year, my company crossed over the ten 0:08:06.720 --> 0:08:09.000 million mark and I was like, and then someone was like, oh, what, 0:08:09.040 --> 0:08:10.720 You're gonna go to twenty million this year, and I 0:08:10.720 --> 0:08:13.720 honestly was like, I don't want to because in my mind, 0:08:14.280 --> 0:08:16.360 it was so much work to get to the ten. 0:08:16.840 --> 0:08:19.480 The assumption for me was I have to do double 0:08:19.560 --> 0:08:22.000 the amount of work to get to the twenty and honestay, Mandy, 0:08:22.320 --> 0:08:25.480 I have purposely not been doing the work. And if 0:08:25.520 --> 0:08:28.320 I really look back at it, I remember even when 0:08:28.840 --> 0:08:30.400 the first time I got all a's in like third 0:08:30.440 --> 0:08:32.160 grade or something like that, and then my Dad was like, great, 0:08:32.200 --> 0:08:33.800 you could keep this up. And I remember thinking, like, 0:08:33.840 --> 0:08:36.199 I don't want to do the work required in order 0:08:36.200 --> 0:08:39.240 to do it, because I convinced myself that the more success, 0:08:39.280 --> 0:08:41.640 the more work involved. And so I've been trying to 0:08:41.800 --> 0:08:45.520 undo that thinking, and it's been really hard, because the 0:08:45.640 --> 0:08:49.640 truth is, with the right foundation, I've been relearning that 0:08:50.679 --> 0:08:53.760 money is not hard to manage or make. It sounds 0:08:53.840 --> 0:08:58.000 like so crazy and like, of course it's hard to make, 0:08:58.040 --> 0:09:02.040 and I'm like, no, that's not true, Tiffany. If jay 0:09:02.120 --> 0:09:04.079 Z wanted to make a million dollars today, he can 0:09:04.240 --> 0:09:06.480 likely just pick up a call and do some sort 0:09:06.480 --> 0:09:08.200 of partnership and it would be worth a million dollars 0:09:08.280 --> 0:09:11.600 or more. Money with the foundation is not hard to make. 0:09:11.679 --> 0:09:13.400 And even you might think like, oh, well, of course 0:09:13.400 --> 0:09:16.280 that's jay Z. No no, But even me, I remember 0:09:16.320 --> 0:09:18.000 one time like this was maybe like four or five 0:09:18.080 --> 0:09:20.600 years ago. We had partnered with this financial brand that 0:09:20.640 --> 0:09:26.079 I really liked, and they said, we're doing free investment plans, 0:09:26.600 --> 0:09:29.120 and they said for every person dream Catcher that gets 0:09:29.120 --> 0:09:31.559 a free investment plan will give you twenty five bucks. 0:09:31.840 --> 0:09:33.959 And I was like okay. I went through and I 0:09:33.960 --> 0:09:35.520 did the investment plan myself because I'm like, I'm not 0:09:35.559 --> 0:09:37.520 sharing there with dream catchers unless I like it. And 0:09:37.559 --> 0:09:39.679 I liked it because I had just paid an investment 0:09:39.720 --> 0:09:43.600 advisor twelve hundred dollars and their plan that I did 0:09:43.679 --> 0:09:46.720 like online was so similar to his. I realized I 0:09:46.760 --> 0:09:50.840 wasted twelve hundred dollars, so that it made me say, 0:09:50.960 --> 0:09:54.600 I'm going to share it. So Logan, who's my content writer, 0:09:55.080 --> 0:09:58.559 I was like, Okay, Logan, let's share this, and I said, 0:09:58.640 --> 0:10:02.120 share the story how I just paid for a plan 0:10:02.240 --> 0:10:05.280 and it's it is. I would say, ninety to ninety 0:10:05.360 --> 0:10:08.360 five percent what I got what I paid twelve hundred 0:10:08.400 --> 0:10:10.720 dollars for this free plan. And we sent out that 0:10:10.760 --> 0:10:13.760 email girl in three days, it generated about one hundred 0:10:13.760 --> 0:10:17.120 and fifty dollars one hundred and fifty thousand dollars fair, 0:10:17.160 --> 0:10:19.040 and that was just you know what I mean, that's 0:10:19.160 --> 0:10:22.480 that was just one email. And since then, I mean, 0:10:22.640 --> 0:10:25.120 I've done partnerships with people. The last one that we 0:10:25.160 --> 0:10:28.439 did in a weekend, we generated seven hundred thousand dollars. 0:10:28.960 --> 0:10:33.400 And I'm sharing those big numbers because even though we've 0:10:34.080 --> 0:10:37.720 done those things, I still was convincing myself the bigger 0:10:37.720 --> 0:10:40.840 the success, the harder the work, and that's not true 0:10:41.360 --> 0:10:45.080 because if that is so, then I cannot possibly work 0:10:45.120 --> 0:10:47.400 any harder than I'm working. Now, does that mean I'm 0:10:47.520 --> 0:10:50.520 capped as how far? With how far I can take, 0:10:50.920 --> 0:10:52.800 you know, whatever success I seek. So I've been trying 0:10:52.800 --> 0:10:56.960 to unlearn that like pattern, and because I had been 0:10:57.000 --> 0:11:00.199 afraid to dream big because to me, dreaming big at 0:11:00.240 --> 0:11:02.240 working big, and I don't want to work any harder. 0:11:02.840 --> 0:11:04.920 And so I've just been like on learning, like you 0:11:04.920 --> 0:11:09.040 know that that mindset. And I'll give you an example 0:11:09.080 --> 0:11:10.800 of something where I finally realized, like, Okay, I think 0:11:10.920 --> 0:11:15.440 i I'm getting it. Like a college reached out to 0:11:15.440 --> 0:11:19.400 me and said, hey, Tiffany, we love get it with money. 0:11:19.679 --> 0:11:22.160 We bought it for our students, like our freshmen or whatever. 0:11:22.720 --> 0:11:26.000 Do you have any coursponding curriculum or course? And I 0:11:26.120 --> 0:11:28.440 instantly got stressed because I was like, oh great, So 0:11:28.480 --> 0:11:30.120 now after writing this book for a year and a half, 0:11:30.160 --> 0:11:31.599 now I got to write a course that's going to 0:11:31.679 --> 0:11:33.160 take me some more time, and I don't have time, 0:11:33.160 --> 0:11:36.560 and I'm so tired. I was already spiraling when doctor 0:11:36.600 --> 0:11:40.400 Green was like, okay, that is the example of that 0:11:40.679 --> 0:11:43.600 more success college bis a course more work for Tiffany. 0:11:43.640 --> 0:11:46.520 But is that true? Tiffany? And I was like, She's like, 0:11:46.600 --> 0:11:49.600 is there any other instance in your life where there's 0:11:49.640 --> 0:11:51.920 a course that you did not have to write? That 0:11:52.080 --> 0:11:53.760 was like and I knew exactly what she's talking about. 0:11:53.760 --> 0:11:56.360 I was like, Hey, yes, So if y'all know, I 0:11:56.400 --> 0:11:58.480 have my Literature Challenges, these are free courses that I 0:11:58.520 --> 0:12:02.280 have available to everybody at literature challenge dot com. And 0:12:02.960 --> 0:12:06.520 the last three I hired a course writer named Taylor, 0:12:06.559 --> 0:12:08.600 who's amazing. Taylor has been with me for like eight 0:12:08.679 --> 0:12:11.400 years and started as an intern. Then I taught her 0:12:11.400 --> 0:12:13.400 how to write, you know, Taylor, Yes, I taught her 0:12:13.440 --> 0:12:15.480 how to write courses. I taught her write for a 0:12:15.480 --> 0:12:19.640 London Tree exactly. So Taylor was amazing. And then I thought, Tiffany, 0:12:20.040 --> 0:12:23.360 you already wrote the book. Why not just say hey, Taylor, 0:12:23.559 --> 0:12:26.400 here's the book. Please turn it into a course. And 0:12:26.440 --> 0:12:29.920 I was like, oh yeah, So I messaged Taylor on Facebook. 0:12:30.120 --> 0:12:32.880 I think Taylor lives like in Europe somewhere because she's 0:12:32.880 --> 0:12:36.120 married now to the baby, and I was like, hey, Taylor, 0:12:36.160 --> 0:12:37.839 because I know before she wasn't doing work and she 0:12:37.880 --> 0:12:38.920 had just had the baby. I was like, are you 0:12:38.920 --> 0:12:41.679 still doing work? And she said, yeah, I am. Now 0:12:41.679 --> 0:12:44.600 the baby's a little older. And I said, I'm thinking 0:12:44.640 --> 0:12:46.520 about turning the book into a course. And then I 0:12:46.520 --> 0:12:48.200 got what I like to call god nod, which is 0:12:48.200 --> 0:12:50.280 like when you're on the right track and you get 0:12:50.280 --> 0:12:52.000 a little nod, a little wink from the from God 0:12:52.040 --> 0:12:54.360 or the universe, whatever you believe in. And she was like, 0:12:54.360 --> 0:12:56.120 I already ordered the book. I have it already. I 0:12:56.200 --> 0:12:58.079 was like, oh. I was like, can you take a 0:12:58.120 --> 0:13:01.320 look at it and see what you you know, create 0:13:01.320 --> 0:13:03.960 a proposal to turn into a course. So let's just 0:13:04.000 --> 0:13:06.120 say this college wants to buy the program for one 0:13:06.200 --> 0:13:09.320 hundred thousand dollars, and I do ten colleges. That's a 0:13:09.360 --> 0:13:13.160 million dollars right there. And because I already had the foundation, 0:13:13.520 --> 0:13:16.880 so I'm trying to learn that you can grow without 0:13:17.040 --> 0:13:19.439 doing this extra heavy lift. And I just hope that 0:13:19.440 --> 0:13:24.360 that lands for someone that so many of us dream 0:13:24.640 --> 0:13:28.680 cheap and small, because we have thought that like, the 0:13:28.720 --> 0:13:31.280 more the bigger the dream, the more the work, And 0:13:31.320 --> 0:13:36.440 that's not necessarily true that your dreams honestly should be expansive, 0:13:36.679 --> 0:13:40.680 expensive and huge, because dreams are free to dream, So 0:13:40.679 --> 0:13:42.920 why are we picking up our dreams at the dollar store? Like, no, 0:13:43.640 --> 0:13:46.920 have a huge dream, because you'd be surprised. It likely 0:13:47.000 --> 0:13:49.480 is not as much work as you think. And dreaming 0:13:49.559 --> 0:13:51.920 small means that you also live a smaller life. And 0:13:52.200 --> 0:13:53.920 I'm just done with that way of thinking. I want 0:13:53.920 --> 0:13:56.800 to think like big and expansive, like Iman and Christina, 0:13:56.920 --> 0:13:59.800 where you can have all the things. They don't have 0:14:00.000 --> 0:14:01.760 twenty million dollars in their bank account, and yet they 0:14:01.760 --> 0:14:04.960 are living it up and in Portugal with their amazing 0:14:05.040 --> 0:14:08.240 daughters and having this amazing life, like their dream didn't 0:14:08.240 --> 0:14:10.080 cost as much as you would think, and here they 0:14:10.120 --> 0:14:13.520 are super happy. Me and Manny felt their palatable joy 0:14:13.800 --> 0:14:15.680 on our on our I don't remember what episode that was, 0:14:15.679 --> 0:14:17.160 but you guys should look it up. You can actually 0:14:17.160 --> 0:14:20.200 feel their joy, you know, over and over the airwaves. 0:14:20.280 --> 0:14:22.920 I just wanted to share that that, like that mindset shift, 0:14:23.000 --> 0:14:24.920 how critical that is. 0:14:24.960 --> 0:14:27.440 And you know, yeah, yeah, I think we've all had 0:14:27.440 --> 0:14:31.320 those times in our lives where we have let the 0:14:31.360 --> 0:14:34.600 fear of failure keep us thinking small. And I mean 0:14:34.760 --> 0:14:36.320 for a lot of for some people, it may just 0:14:36.360 --> 0:14:38.760 be a toxic personality in your life. I was just 0:14:38.840 --> 0:14:41.600 on I just saw something like someone had quoted Lady 0:14:41.600 --> 0:14:44.760 Gaga giving an interview about an ex boyfriend of hers 0:14:44.760 --> 0:14:46.480 who said she would never have a hit song and 0:14:46.520 --> 0:14:48.720 she would never do this, never win a grabby, all 0:14:48.720 --> 0:14:51.920 of her dreams were dumb. And she told that person, 0:14:52.320 --> 0:14:56.040 you know, forget you. I'm gonna one day you're not 0:14:56.040 --> 0:14:58.080 going to be able to go to the gas station 0:14:58.160 --> 0:15:00.800 without hearing one of my songs. And let me, of course, 0:15:00.840 --> 0:15:03.680 look at her now, she's phenomenal. And I think in 0:15:03.720 --> 0:15:06.440 our lives you do have like the fit like sometimes 0:15:06.480 --> 0:15:10.040 it is like an actual person, a parent or a partner, 0:15:10.280 --> 0:15:12.720 or a spouse or a sibling or whoever, is like 0:15:12.760 --> 0:15:14.880 your negative Nancy and always bringing you down and making 0:15:14.960 --> 0:15:17.120 you feel small. So you have to watch out for them, 0:15:17.160 --> 0:15:18.640 but you also have to wait to watch out for 0:15:18.760 --> 0:15:20.800 I think what Tif's talking about, which is your internal 0:15:20.800 --> 0:15:23.720 dialogue and how you are speaking to your own self 0:15:23.760 --> 0:15:26.560 about your dreams and what the stories that you're telling 0:15:26.600 --> 0:15:29.640 yourself about if you have the ability to achieve what 0:15:29.680 --> 0:15:32.760 you set out to achieve, and I couldn't agree more 0:15:32.760 --> 0:15:35.400 in the sense that you have a lot of control, 0:15:35.440 --> 0:15:37.760 even more control than you think over your own destiny, 0:15:38.280 --> 0:15:42.120 but you have to look at the fear and understand 0:15:42.120 --> 0:15:45.600 why you feel that way, and also know that you're 0:15:45.840 --> 0:15:47.760 honestly the only person who can change the way that 0:15:47.800 --> 0:15:51.760 you're thinking about. Whether it's your career or your relationship 0:15:52.040 --> 0:15:54.200 or the money you have in the bank. There's so 0:15:54.280 --> 0:15:56.760 much that you can control, but there's also like physically 0:15:56.760 --> 0:15:58.440 that you can control. You know what job you have 0:15:58.600 --> 0:16:01.560 and how much you're saving, but it is your mindset 0:16:01.600 --> 0:16:03.520 and what you think is possible. And I'll tell you 0:16:03.560 --> 0:16:06.240 something like I remember, I don't know how many years 0:16:06.280 --> 0:16:09.920 ago was this, It was like twenty for fifteen something 0:16:09.960 --> 0:16:12.080 like that. I was like, I was in a lull 0:16:12.120 --> 0:16:15.400 in my in my confidence and stuff. And I remember, 0:16:16.760 --> 0:16:18.360 I don't know if this fund remembers what we were on, 0:16:18.440 --> 0:16:20.160 like a nature walk or something like that. And I 0:16:20.200 --> 0:16:22.520 was like, you know what, I'm going to write a 0:16:22.600 --> 0:16:25.480 book that just says the pow it's the power. It's 0:16:25.480 --> 0:16:28.520 caught and be called The Power of Mediocrity by Mandy Woodruff. 0:16:28.880 --> 0:16:30.840 And it's going to be a book all about how 0:16:30.960 --> 0:16:33.960 people are so unhappy because they keep trying to like 0:16:34.320 --> 0:16:37.320 achieve these crazy dreams and have the perfect partner and 0:16:37.360 --> 0:16:40.680 the perfect job. What if we just stopped trying? And 0:16:40.760 --> 0:16:43.360 I was like, really passionate, and this person looked at 0:16:43.400 --> 0:16:45.480 me and he was like, I don't know. That sounds 0:16:45.480 --> 0:16:49.160 like good book. People are definitely going to buy a 0:16:49.160 --> 0:16:51.680 book like that. But I think it was just and 0:16:51.760 --> 0:16:53.160 I think about that all the time, and I'm like 0:16:53.240 --> 0:16:56.000 you I was. It was indicative of my mindset at 0:16:56.000 --> 0:16:58.080 the time. I would not write that book today because 0:16:58.080 --> 0:17:00.840 I think that was just myself trying to give myself 0:17:00.920 --> 0:17:04.240 an excuse to be to settle for or not settle, 0:17:04.280 --> 0:17:06.680 but to be okay with what I what I had 0:17:06.800 --> 0:17:08.600 versus what I thought I would deserve or what I 0:17:08.640 --> 0:17:10.960 thought I could achieve. I'm not going to say it 0:17:11.000 --> 0:17:14.400 was like a one and done conversation, but it's certainly 0:17:15.040 --> 0:17:17.320 I'm much I'm much smarter about it now. In any 0:17:17.400 --> 0:17:20.400 time a new whether it's a career change, or it's 0:17:21.160 --> 0:17:25.320 a new opportunity with brown ambition, or you know, something 0:17:25.320 --> 0:17:27.880 that comes up in my personal life, if it's new 0:17:27.920 --> 0:17:31.840 and scary and unknown, I just try to keep a 0:17:31.960 --> 0:17:35.200 very open mind. There's no harm that can come from 0:17:35.359 --> 0:17:38.880 entertaining an idea and letting that idea you know, being 0:17:38.920 --> 0:17:41.439 open to it and if you have that energy of 0:17:41.480 --> 0:17:44.200 being open to possibilities, I truly feel like and I 0:17:44.280 --> 0:17:46.159 don't want to get too granola, but you said the 0:17:46.240 --> 0:17:50.159 universe earlier. I think you attract stuff to you, you know, 0:17:51.040 --> 0:17:54.200 and you have any good energy and the good vibes, 0:17:54.520 --> 0:17:58.800 and it really does come from within. How do you 0:17:58.800 --> 0:18:01.439 get there, tiff Like, how do the people? How do 0:18:01.520 --> 0:18:06.200 you get there? You, for example, business coach, your life 0:18:06.200 --> 0:18:11.320 coach therapist, life coach therapist have have helped. Yeah, I 0:18:11.640 --> 0:18:13.560 think for some like what would you say to people 0:18:13.560 --> 0:18:15.520 who were like I just can't get out of this funk? 0:18:15.640 --> 0:18:17.840 Like how do I so want to change? 0:18:18.200 --> 0:18:22.320 To my friend Jessica, and I think her is like, 0:18:22.320 --> 0:18:24.200 it's catch me if you can. So she's the first 0:18:24.200 --> 0:18:27.280 black woman to ever visit every country in the world 0:18:28.040 --> 0:18:30.160 and yeah she did it like two years ago. She's amazing. 0:18:30.400 --> 0:18:33.919 So I was talking to her and I was like, 0:18:34.040 --> 0:18:36.119 you know, like doing the whole Like I don't know. 0:18:37.000 --> 0:18:39.679 She said, Tiffany, You're dope. I'm like, I don't know. 0:18:40.200 --> 0:18:43.359 She's like, girl, what she said, I'm gonna do for 0:18:43.400 --> 0:18:45.800 you what I do for my other friends. She said, Girl, 0:18:46.040 --> 0:18:49.879 I am virtually slapping you, like wake up. She's like, 0:18:49.920 --> 0:18:51.560 look to the left and look to the right of utivity. 0:18:51.560 --> 0:18:53.720 Who do you see nobody. I was like, ooh, don't 0:18:53.720 --> 0:18:57.760 say that. She's like, I'm sorry, No, you've created a 0:18:57.840 --> 0:19:00.359 lame for yourself. It doesn't mean that you know that 0:19:00.400 --> 0:19:02.280 other people are not doing amazing, but this is your 0:19:02.359 --> 0:19:05.600 lane that you've created for yourself. What you're doing is amazing. 0:19:05.760 --> 0:19:07.600 Step into that. And I was like, I guess and 0:19:07.640 --> 0:19:09.480 she's just like no. She said, you know what you 0:19:09.560 --> 0:19:11.560 forgot how to dream. I want you to do this activity. 0:19:12.200 --> 0:19:14.040 And I said okay, and I want I think we 0:19:14.040 --> 0:19:15.960 should all do it collectively when I tell you it's 0:19:15.960 --> 0:19:18.639 so good. I was like okay. So she said, I 0:19:18.680 --> 0:19:20.840 want you to do this activity five to ten minutes. 0:19:21.400 --> 0:19:24.520 I want you to be someplace quiet, you know, beautiful. 0:19:24.680 --> 0:19:26.640