Speaker 1: Personal life.
Speaker 2: With growing fueldsmen. One of the most familiar versions of
Speaker 2: the very known Golden rule is do unto others as
Speaker 2: you would have them do unto you. And we learned
Speaker 2: the Golden rule growing up so so much. It's said often,
Speaker 2: and maybe it's not anymore. Maybe it was something that
Speaker 2: was very common when I had nineties baby was growing up.
Speaker 2: But I feel like the Golden rule was something everybody knew.
Speaker 2: And I do feel in a lot of ways, whether
Speaker 2: that be because of where we're at with technology, with
Speaker 2: the experiences of the world after COVID, after so many
Speaker 2: things have drastically shifted in our society, the Golden Rule,
Speaker 2: to me feels like it has kind of slipped, It's
Speaker 2: kind of gone away. And I don't say this knowing
Speaker 2: that everyone has forgotten this. I think a lot of
Speaker 2: people still remember it, but I don't think it ever
Speaker 2: hurts to be reminded of how we interact with the
Speaker 2: world and how the basic human connection evolves around being
Speaker 2: kind to other people. And so this episode is really
Speaker 2: overarching about kindness, but it's also about so much more
Speaker 2: than that, and understanding ourselves is human, how we interact
Speaker 2: and see the world and I'm bringing on doctor Harry Cohen,
Speaker 2: who is an author, a psychologist, and he's just trying
Speaker 2: to help us see things a little bit more simpler,
Speaker 2: and sometimes we need that. I think this is a
Speaker 2: great reminder episode because sometimes life gets a little crazy
Speaker 2: and we forget how we're interacting with ourselves and with
Speaker 2: the world. So we're going to get into this interview.
Speaker 2: I'm going to do a journal entry. Yeah, helped provoke
Speaker 2: some conversations in my brain that I hope will also
Speaker 2: stimulate some things for yourself, whether it be in a
Speaker 2: therapy session or just in a journal entry for yourselves.
Speaker 2: So for the sake of bringing more sunshine into our lives,
Speaker 2: let's do this. I'm really excited to be joined by
Speaker 2: doctor Harry Cohen. Harry, thank you for joining me today.
Speaker 3: My absolute pleasure.
Speaker 2: Now you're an author, But what were you before an author?
Speaker 2: And I have your book right here.
Speaker 1: So I was a shrink for many many years. I
Speaker 1: was a shrink and then executive coach and motivational speaker.
Speaker 2: And what inspired you to write this book? It's called
Speaker 2: Be the Sun Not the Salt. I imagine a lot
Speaker 2: of life experience totally.
Speaker 1: So somebody recently asked me or reminded me. They asked me,
Speaker 1: why did you write the book? And I remember what
Speaker 1: I said, and I was reminded that I I wanted
Speaker 1: to leave my kids something when I die. This is
Speaker 1: the compilation of my entire life's work. I think it'll
Speaker 1: help a ton of people. When I did my TED Talk,
Speaker 1: I ended my Ted Talk with leave people with an afterglow,
Speaker 1: not an after taste. Be the sun, not the salt.
Speaker 1: I didn't know that I was going to write that book,
Speaker 1: but that's my attempt. At thirty one page, Okay, if
Speaker 1: I could say something that I think the world could
Speaker 1: benefit from, certainly my kids, certainly stuff I've learned, this
Speaker 1: is it. I didn't want to write another book. I
Speaker 1: wrote a book twenty years ago called Secrets of the
Speaker 1: Obvious about how to live a healthy life. This is
Speaker 1: more the distillation of everything you know.
Speaker 2: When I was reading this book, the thing that I
Speaker 2: really took away from it is that I feel like
Speaker 2: you put into words what should be basic knowledge for.
Speaker 3: People I know.
Speaker 1: Not only should it be basic knowledge, I think it's
Speaker 1: basic knowledge already that most people, when you tell them
Speaker 1: about this.
Speaker 3: They go, oh, I love that they already.
Speaker 1: It doesn't require a lot of explanation. What I get
Speaker 1: excited about as I think about how to explain this
Speaker 1: to your listeners or to anyone, is I want to
Speaker 1: say more by saying less. It's so easy and so powerful.
Speaker 1: Just recently I heard this great line, which I'll now
Speaker 1: say forever. It's so easy. It's easy to forget, it's
Speaker 1: easy to not do. And that is the profound nature.
Speaker 3: Of this, which is whoa.
Speaker 1: If you just do this stuff, your life is going
Speaker 1: to be better. Garren Frickin teed Now, why.
Speaker 2: Do you feel like it is easy to forget these things?
Speaker 2: Why do you like in our day to day lives
Speaker 2: that these lessons and a lot in here really focuses
Speaker 2: on how to be a good person, how to let
Speaker 2: things go, just live very honestly and genuinely to yourself.
Speaker 2: But why do you feel like that's so difficult for people?
Speaker 1: The reason I can say that it's so difficult because
Speaker 1: I watch myself and I'm an expert. I'm a wise sage.
Speaker 1: I'm a seventy year old practitioner of equanimity. I've lived
Speaker 1: my life and I still lose my cool, find myself
Speaker 1: not being extra kind today's chapter is do it anyway.
Speaker 1: You know, when you don't feel like doing something. The
Speaker 1: lesson for today's do it anyway. It's a Mother Teresa quote.
Speaker 1: It's a poem. Well, I can get lost and I
Speaker 1: don't feel like it. Why is it so common for
Speaker 1: us to lose it? It's the ancients. They've been writing
Speaker 1: about this for thousands of years. To be a good person,
Speaker 1: we have to fight against all of the forces that
Speaker 1: are pulling us and tempting us and inviting us to
Speaker 1: be less than a good person. I don't feel like
Speaker 1: getting out of bed. I don't feel like smiling. I
Speaker 1: don't feel like saying please and thank you. I don't
Speaker 1: feel like doing the next right thing.
Speaker 3: That's human nature. That's okay.
Speaker 1: My gift to the world is, yes, you can do
Speaker 1: it anyway. Do the tiniest, tiniest good deed. I'm talking
Speaker 1: about smiling at a stranger. I'm talking about costs you nothing,
Speaker 1: but your life will be better for it. And because
Speaker 1: the world is built to tempt us to do stupid
Speaker 1: and unwise things, we have to work a little bit
Speaker 1: to remind yourself. Don't eat the donut. I mean, I mean, seriously,
Speaker 1: donut I'm not picking on them. For all those people
Speaker 1: who make a living selling donuts, I'm sorry, but they're
Speaker 1: not good food for you.
Speaker 2: They're not good forward for you. But there is something
Speaker 2: good in your soul that happens when you see this.
Speaker 3: Is what happens.
Speaker 1: Look, there's a whole lot of metabolism stuff that happens
Speaker 1: when we eat sugar and fat and fried food. So
Speaker 1: we can talk about that if you want. But I mean,
Speaker 1: deep fried oreos are not good for you. I know
Speaker 1: they taste good, but I'm using this as a metaphor
Speaker 1: and literal, like, why do you want to diet of
Speaker 1: deep fried oreos? Well, you can have them now and then,
Speaker 1: can't you.
Speaker 3: I guess, so I guess.
Speaker 2: So yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm I keep saying I'm seventy. I want
Speaker 1: to live till whenever, but I want to live great.
Speaker 1: And if I eat food that's not good for me,
Speaker 1: eventually it's going to find me. And you know, it's
Speaker 1: not that not that complicated. If I'm a bit of
Speaker 1: a dick sometimes, if I'm unkind or unconscious or disrespectful
Speaker 1: or thoughtless, it's not good. So I don't have to
Speaker 1: beat myself up. I can just be deliberate and conscious
Speaker 1: and say have I done any good today?
Speaker 3: Yes? Good? Do some more.
Speaker 1: And that's what I get excited about. Imagine we could
Speaker 1: get millions of people to understand this and practice this
Speaker 1: a tiny bit more. They don't have to change who
Speaker 1: they are, they don't have to change their personality, there
Speaker 1: have to change anything they and we have to do
Speaker 1: just a little bit more of what we already do,
Speaker 1: and the world is a better place.
Speaker 3: And a little bit less.
Speaker 1: Of what we already do when we're a bit of
Speaker 1: a dick.
Speaker 2: I mean, I do like that, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: And I'm not saying I'm not.
Speaker 1: Nobody's perfect, including me. And I just started saying of
Speaker 1: late to my wife, I don't know, months ago, but
Speaker 1: I've been doing it every day. Is there anything you
Speaker 1: need for me to do for you today? Now that's
Speaker 1: a sentence that I can say.
Speaker 2: Every day, and it's a very helpful sentence and you
Speaker 2: don't even realize it.
Speaker 3: It's so fantastic.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's like, how come I took me seventy
Speaker 1: years to figure that out? Well, at least I figured
Speaker 1: it out now. I now leave for the airport an
Speaker 1: hour and a half before my flight. How come it
Speaker 1: took me years to figure that out? I finally figured
Speaker 1: it out. I'm talking about basic stuff now. I did
Speaker 1: learn please and thank you as a kid. I got
Speaker 1: that down. But man, am I discovering more stuff, science
Speaker 1: based stuff to improve your relationships, your productivity, your life,
Speaker 1: your happiness, your health, your longevity, your equanimity. It's all
Speaker 1: good And the whole point of this when I get
Speaker 1: so excited. You don't have to take a twelve week course,
Speaker 1: you don't have to sign up for anything. You don't
Speaker 1: even have to buy this book.
Speaker 2: You just have to choose to be a good person
Speaker 2: every single day.
Speaker 1: And if you choose to be a good person, you
Speaker 1: gos that mean? Oh I could tell you, but I
Speaker 1: bet you could too. Whatever somebody would say when you
Speaker 1: ask them, well, what do you mean, how do you
Speaker 1: be a good person? Whatever comes out of their mouth,
Speaker 1: you go, yeah, do more of that? We copyrighted, do
Speaker 1: more of that? Just doing what you already do a
Speaker 1: little bit more. I mean, well, you know when you're
Speaker 1: a good person.
Speaker 3: Yeah, do that some more? What already do? Great? You
Speaker 3: think you're limited to be thinking?
Speaker 2: Do it more?
Speaker 1: You'll you'll be happier and people around you'll be happier
Speaker 1: and do the obnoxious, uncool things a little bit less,
Speaker 1: like looking at your phone while someone's talking to you.
Speaker 2: Yes, that's a very big thing, especially in the last
Speaker 2: couple of decades. Totally now, scientifically talk me through this, Yes,
Speaker 2: like when someone chooses to be a good person versus
Speaker 2: chooses not to, Like, scientifically, what does that look like
Speaker 2: in somebody's brain when they can't wrap their head around
Speaker 2: being a good person.
Speaker 1: So this is great question, which is wrap your head
Speaker 1: around being a good person. Those are a bunch of words.
Speaker 1: All you got to do is hold the door and
Speaker 1: smile at someone. Your actions define who you are. It
Speaker 1: defines your identity. So this good person thing is only
Speaker 1: what you do. Just what does a good person do?
Speaker 1: What do you do as a good person? And then
Speaker 1: do that some more. What happens in your brain and
Speaker 1: body is all kinds of good stuff. I mean, you
Speaker 1: can see it in someone's face, you can see it
Speaker 1: in your face.
Speaker 3: You're smiling as.
Speaker 1: I'm talking to you. That is what happens to the
Speaker 1: body mind when you're around someone who makes you feel good.
Speaker 1: You could measure it in the blood. There's some oxytocin
Speaker 1: in there, there's some dopamine in there. There's all kinds
Speaker 1: of nerve transmitters in the blood of a person with
Speaker 1: whom you are making feel uplifted.
Speaker 3: And I mean literally, if you touch.
Speaker 1: Someone's hand and hold their hand, you can measure the
Speaker 1: impact on them. And the same as when you say
Speaker 1: a kind word, you could literally you put them up.
Speaker 1: If you hook them up to a functional magnetic resonance machine,
Speaker 1: you could watch their brain change. But you don't need
Speaker 1: to do that. Just look at somebody and smile at
Speaker 1: her and say, can I help you? Oh, that's a
Speaker 1: lovely dress you have on. You know, I love what
Speaker 1: you did to the room.
Speaker 3: Oh.
Speaker 1: You can say anything as long as you mean it,
Speaker 1: And authenticity is one of these virtuous qualities that other
Speaker 1: human beings resonate with. It's like the natural smell of
Speaker 1: a flower, which is fragrant, creates in people.
Speaker 3: Ooh that's delightful.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And there's disgusting sense as well, and that creates
Speaker 1: a different kind of reaction, and that's what we're talking about.
Speaker 1: Disgust and fear and anger and sadness. Those are naturally
Speaker 1: occurring emotions, but so is awe and joy and love.
Speaker 2: Now, when you're talking about this too, I hear you
Speaker 2: saying it's to me and to you right. I feel
Speaker 2: it's pretty easy to be a good person. It's easy
Speaker 2: to make a choice. But there are people I've encountered
Speaker 2: in my life who don't feel that that's an easy
Speaker 2: choice for some reason, whether that be past experiences and insecurities.
Speaker 2: For those people, how do you start to get them
Speaker 2: to walk down this much more fulfilling life of goodness?
Speaker 1: You know, I don't know the answer to that. I
Speaker 1: really don't in that real core question. Everybody's different. I
Speaker 1: don't like to generalize if I can, because they don't
Speaker 1: find it helpful. I would find the how do you
Speaker 1: get the person in front of you to make that choice?
Speaker 1: My answer to that is be that person and influence
Speaker 1: him or her in such a way that they are
Speaker 1: moved and motivated and inspired by your example. So they
Speaker 1: don't even know why they're being more kind, but they're
Speaker 1: moved and inspired by your life. I think that's the
Speaker 1: way I mean my words. This podcast is an attempt
Speaker 1: to help somebody who's listening who might be that person,
Speaker 1: But I don't know if that person is going to
Speaker 1: be moved to hold the door and smile and be
Speaker 1: a little bit more kind. I really don't know a man.
Speaker 1: If I could figure that out, I think we should
Speaker 1: tell everybody. But as far as I can tell, it's
Speaker 1: do it yourself. Be so magnificent that your life and
Speaker 1: your example is what makes them go. You know, I
Speaker 1: ran into that guy and I don't even know what
Speaker 1: he said, but I wanted to be a better man.
Speaker 1: Remember that movie Oh with Them, Jack Nicholson and Hellen Hunt.
Speaker 1: You make me want to be a better man? Is
Speaker 1: that line? I want to be a person who makes
Speaker 1: other people want to be a better man or better woman.
Speaker 1: I know not if my words do it. This book
Speaker 1: is an attempt to it. Everything I put out on
Speaker 1: our Be the Sun Not the Soul podcast, and everything
Speaker 1: I write and everything I post on Instagram is an
Speaker 1: attempt to do what you said, which is to nudge
Speaker 1: any listener. You know, I'm going to be nicer to
Speaker 1: my wife. You know I'm going to be nicer to myself.
Speaker 1: You know I'm going to fill in the blank. I'm
Speaker 1: going to eat a healthy meal today. You know, I'm
Speaker 1: going to go for a walk with my dog. I mean,
Speaker 1: there's so many things that if people did more of
Speaker 1: those wonderful things, they would have a better life. I
Speaker 1: want to inspire more people to do this, and man,
Speaker 1: oh man, if you can help me do that, let's
Speaker 1: get it into the hearts and minds and hands of everybody.
Speaker 2: I've started to realize, especially as I've started to have
Speaker 2: a platform with the job that i have and what
Speaker 2: I've done, where a lot of my action and words
Speaker 2: can be seen in so many different ways. But it's
Speaker 2: been very important to me that I connect with human
Speaker 2: beings on a very clothes level, which means messaging with
Speaker 2: a lot of them. And I'm often sharing every moment
Speaker 2: of who I am versus just the good. Everybody sees
Speaker 2: every up and down flow of my life, and it's funny.
Speaker 2: I've shared sometimes the frustrations of people writing and saying
Speaker 2: horrible things when they have no idea who I am
Speaker 2: because I can't fathom it in my brain. I could
Speaker 2: never be that person to somebody else. It's really hard
Speaker 2: for me to comprehend and understand. And somebody wrote me
Speaker 2: and I will always remember this conversation and they were like, well,
Speaker 2: I'm sure you also have thoughts and you say things
Speaker 2: about people. I said, that's the difference. I have a thought,
Speaker 2: but it never leaves my brain.
Speaker 3: I know. I know.
Speaker 1: So when I read nasty, critical, obnoxious, horrible, I guess trolling.
Speaker 1: They call it social media posts. People who would comment
Speaker 1: on someone they don't even know. I always think to myself, Oh,
Speaker 1: that poor thing. Oh they don't know, they don't know
Speaker 1: any better. No one ever told them, dude, you don't
Speaker 1: say that. You can think it, don't say it.
Speaker 3: Now. You know.
Speaker 1: I've done wisdom training and teaching and speaking for the year,
Speaker 1: so I have the benefit of knowing that before words
Speaker 1: leave your lips, may they pass through three gates. May
Speaker 1: they be truthful, may they be necessary, and may they
Speaker 1: be kind. And I haven't always followed that recommendation, but
Speaker 1: it's so damn intelligent I should. So when I say
Speaker 1: something obnoxious, inappropriate, cruel in it's like, oh, but but
Speaker 1: for the grace of God, go I I gotta do
Speaker 1: the next right thing. Please know that people who do
Speaker 1: stupid and foolish and hurtful and harmful things they know
Speaker 1: not what they do.
Speaker 3: No one ever told them.
Speaker 1: They weren't socialized, they weren't parented, they weren't trained they
Speaker 1: weren't mentored, they weren't shown.
Speaker 3: So they do that.
Speaker 1: Stuff because they don't know any better. Our job is
Speaker 1: to have compassion for them and see if we can
Speaker 1: help the next person. Not that person, they probably ain't
Speaker 1: gonna get it, but the next person will say. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to post that. I'm not gonna say that.
Speaker 1: I mean, one of my greatest learnings, you know, be
Speaker 1: the sun, don't be the salt. Don't be the salt.
Speaker 1: There's one chapter out of thirties which is if you
Speaker 1: can't be the sun, then just don't be the salt.
Speaker 1: That is as powerful as anything in there. Refraining from
Speaker 1: saying what you're thinking.
Speaker 2: That's a very very difficult skill, especially today exactly.
Speaker 1: But like to your point, it's a difficult skill. So
Speaker 1: what it's difficult to do a lot of things we
Speaker 1: do that. A lot of things are difficult, but it
Speaker 1: just seems.
Speaker 2: To be one that we kind of put in the
Speaker 2: back burner. It's not one that we feel necessary.
Speaker 1: I understand. That's why we have a job to do.
Speaker 1: I have a life purpose and mission. So to you,
Speaker 1: let's join forces and do more good by helping more
Speaker 1: people do more good, so that it becomes the norm,
Speaker 1: and people help other people in a normative way.
Speaker 3: That's not cool. Don't do that. Oh, thank you, You're right,
Speaker 3: I shouldn't. Okay, little correction.
Speaker 1: You know that when I hear people not saying please
Speaker 1: and thank you, I oftentimes will want to say, dude,
Speaker 1: you know you should say please.
Speaker 3: Or thank you.
Speaker 1: And I'd say nine times out of ten I don't,
Speaker 1: but one out of ten, depending on the person, I
Speaker 1: will lovingly remind them.
Speaker 3: Please would be nice. Thank you would be nice.
Speaker 1: Whether it's my grown thirty three year old kids or
Speaker 1: a dear friend who oh I thought I said please,
Speaker 1: No you didn't. And I don't mind reminding them, not
Speaker 1: in a you know, obnoxious judgy way, but come on, dude,
Speaker 1: we can be better.
Speaker 3: In net.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I do feel like we've gotten away from this
Speaker 2: self awareness of understanding ourselves and how we interact in
Speaker 2: the world. And some of that comes with just a
Speaker 2: simple please and thank you. Some of it comes with
Speaker 2: keeping your face bright in something that somebody wants to
Speaker 2: see that the self awareness aspect feels like, what is
Speaker 2: the biggest thing that we're missing?
Speaker 1: I couldn't agree with you or what you said something
Speaker 1: so profound and people who can't see this podcast this
Speaker 1: is listening only, they can't see your bright face. Oh seriously,
Speaker 1: they can't see what a bright light you are. And
Speaker 1: you said it with such deliberate intent. I'm so glad
Speaker 1: that you said. So your face is not your own.
Speaker 1: What do you mean you bring it out into the world.
Speaker 3: What are you giving the world? Is it that sour puss?
Speaker 3: Or is it that delighted? What a lovely face? We
Speaker 3: can offer that to the world.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and so do you You have the same face.
Speaker 2: You're very happy and.
Speaker 1: Oh but I know that deliberately.
Speaker 3: I know it because it's my life, my job.
Speaker 1: What am I gonna walk around with a sour puss for?
Speaker 1: That would be like walking around with a smelly jacket.
Speaker 1: It's kind of inappropriate. Dude, you should probably clean that.
Speaker 3: It looks like a mess. Oh you think it matters?
Speaker 3: You know, yeah, it kind of does.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's the simplest the way we want to
Speaker 1: make this so that other people can go, Oh, that's good.
Speaker 1: I listened to that podcast. I got something from that,
Speaker 1: would you get you know, I'm gonna watch my face more.
Speaker 3: What do you mean, just gonna be aware of how.
Speaker 1: I show up in the world, good for you, that's great.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I feel like it's because a lot of
Speaker 2: people wear their life on their face pretty much, and
Speaker 2: they're showing everything that's happening to them in a day
Speaker 2: to day world. The very common RBF if you will,
Speaker 2: yep that, I do know a lot of people are
Speaker 2: like that. And it's very often where I'll meet people
Speaker 2: and I'll say, you know, I wasn't sure if you
Speaker 2: were gonna like me because you did have a RBF.
Speaker 2: And I never want to be that person. I want
Speaker 2: somebody to think automatically, I'm interested in what they're doing.
Speaker 1: I know, because authenticity is very heliotropic. It makes people
Speaker 1: want to gravitate towards us. When we are real, people
Speaker 1: like that. People like it when we're authentic. People like
Speaker 1: it when we're vulnerable. People like it when we're grateful.
Speaker 1: People like it when we're curious. People like it when
Speaker 1: we're kind, people like it when we get shitped done,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, When we follow through in
Speaker 1: our commitments. These are great qualities. These are wonderful virtues.
Speaker 1: All virtues. Pick a virtue. What about generosity?
Speaker 3: Great?
Speaker 1: I love that we can lean into being more virtuous.
Speaker 1: Everybody wins, mostly ourselves, but everybody wins around us when
Speaker 1: we're just a smidgeon midgeen more thoughtful.
Speaker 2: You mentioned that word heliotropic, which is in your book.
Speaker 2: Can you define that a little bit for me? Because
Speaker 2: that was a new word for me to learn.
Speaker 1: It's a new word for most people, but it's what
Speaker 1: was so exciting for me because it describes what we
Speaker 1: are talking about. Why a plant leans towards the sun
Speaker 1: is because of the heliotropic effect, and it turns out
Speaker 1: that people are like that too. We are drawn to
Speaker 1: the positive energy around us. Heliotropic means the positive energy
Speaker 1: of the sun, and human beings can be positive energizers,
Speaker 1: and we're drawn to them like the plant to the sun.
Speaker 1: That's the heliotropic effect. When we are demonstrating our virtuous
Speaker 1: qualities that your mother and grandmother and father and grandfather
Speaker 1: and you and your brother and spouse already demonstrate, we
Speaker 1: are drawn to those people. We like being around them.
Speaker 1: It is like sun on our leaves makes us feel
Speaker 1: like WHOA great. That's what the heliotropic effect is. And
Speaker 1: all we got to do is do that some more,
Speaker 1: period not be anybody else.
Speaker 3: Just pay attention. You know.
Speaker 1: I could do that some more. I could be on
Speaker 1: timed some more. I could be more forgiving good. I
Speaker 1: could be more dependable good. I could be more curious good.
Speaker 1: You're fill in the blank there. So I mean everything
Speaker 1: that you and your mom and your dad taught you
Speaker 1: about how to be a good person.
Speaker 3: That's our life's work. Great, So do it some more.
Speaker 2: I really love this comparison to plants. How you've found that,
Speaker 2: because it is it's a very We are living beings
Speaker 2: that need sunshine, not even just mentally, but physically emotionally.
Speaker 2: It's a whole experience. Our bodies crave the vitamin that
Speaker 2: comes from the sun.
Speaker 1: That's right, we crave the vitamin that comes from the sun.
Speaker 1: But we crave this good energy from other human beings too.
Speaker 1: Our whole bodies light up when we're around virtuous people
Speaker 1: like ourselves.
Speaker 3: So that's what it's like. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: So I could be a great parent to my living
Speaker 1: breathing for your four legged or two legged or plant.
Speaker 3: You know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I mean, this is how we are great parents and
Speaker 1: great friends and good company by giving that good, positive
Speaker 1: energy to our loved ones and perfect strangers.
Speaker 2: Very important because it's often missed. You know, you can
Speaker 2: be a great person in your life with the people
Speaker 2: that you know, but if you're out existing in the
Speaker 2: world and you're also not continuing that you're not fully
Speaker 2: really in this version of a life correct.
Speaker 1: And if you're let's say you're ninety percent and that
Speaker 1: you're ninety out of one hundred exchanges with other human beings,
Speaker 1: you're fantastic. But ten, yeah, you're less than great. Go
Speaker 1: for ninety one. So this work isn't about perfection. It's
Speaker 1: about you know what, I like trying to be one
Speaker 1: percent better? What do you mean one percent? A little
Speaker 1: bit kind, a little bit more curious, a little bit
Speaker 1: more thoughtful, a little bit more inspiring, a little bit
Speaker 1: more loving.
Speaker 3: A little bit more.
Speaker 1: Effective. You know, am I being effective in this podcast?
Speaker 1: I always worried about talking too much, so I'll stop talking.
Speaker 2: No, you're doing so great On that other flip side
Speaker 2: of being a positive energizer and having the sun on
Speaker 2: our leaves, what is this salt on the roots? I
Speaker 2: loved that saying, like putting salt on the roots. Anytime
Speaker 2: you're not living in that positive energy, doing salt on
Speaker 2: the roots.
Speaker 1: And here's what it means. It's not salt of the earth.
Speaker 1: The salt of the earth is another description of a
Speaker 1: great quality human being. Salting someone's roots is a metaphor
Speaker 1: for making somebody feel crappy.
Speaker 3: Period.
Speaker 1: You can make somebody feel crappy a million different ways.
Speaker 1: Look at your cellphone while they're talking to you, make
Speaker 1: a sarcastic comment after they say something positive, make a
Speaker 1: fake apology. I'm just giving examples of ways that we
Speaker 1: can be salt on roots. Get irritated for something that
Speaker 1: someone did, and let them know. I mean, I'm going
Speaker 1: on and on, but there's so many tiny And the
Speaker 1: reason I bring up tiny because just as being the
Speaker 1: sun is tiny, being the salt can be tiny. You
Speaker 1: can just cop a little bit of an aditude with people.
Speaker 1: I travel a lot, so I'm in a customer service,
Speaker 1: you know, receiving customer services a lot. You know, I'm
Speaker 1: on airplanes or in ubers or at hotel rooms or whatever,
Speaker 1: and I.
Speaker 3: Can cop an attitude.
Speaker 1: You know, you shouldn't make me wait in line, you
Speaker 1: shouldn't make me go through this. But whatever my attitude is,
Speaker 1: that's garbage. I can make somebody uplifted in a split second,
Speaker 1: or I can be a bit of a dick. This
Speaker 1: morning in the TSA line line at the Detroit Airport,
Speaker 1: there was a huge line on Monday morning and there
Speaker 1: were two Delta agents directing people. One was particularly helpful
Speaker 1: and the other was not. And I made a choice
Speaker 1: of pouring on extra scoop of love to the helpful one. Hey, dude,
Speaker 1: you were really helpful.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 1: I really appreciate the way you handled me. Now I
Speaker 1: was deliberate and making him feel good. I could have
Speaker 1: just said one nasty, snarky, sarcastic thing to the other woman,
Speaker 1: and I didn't. I don't want to meddle. I'm just
Speaker 1: saying that I think that stuff, but I'm better net.
Speaker 2: Well, just like you said, we're not perfect. You still
Speaker 2: have the thoughts. It's that it never leaves your brain.
Speaker 2: It's there, it exists, and you recognize it, but it
Speaker 2: never comes out.
Speaker 1: That's right, And you know, like, well that's no fun. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know, that's okay. I like being a better human being.
Speaker 1: That's my life mission. There are people who are listening
Speaker 1: to this going I.
Speaker 3: Don't give it. You know, this is too nice.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you gotta rip people a new one. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm not that interested in that. I don't mind holding
Speaker 1: people accountable. I'm talking about making somebody feel crappy is
Speaker 1: not necessary. That's really important because we often do and
Speaker 1: don't even realize that we do. You know, we get oh,
Speaker 1: we get lost in stupid stuff.
Speaker 2: You know what's funny when you talk about you traveling
Speaker 2: a lot and always being in these customer service situations.
Speaker 2: I was on a plane and it was really funny.
Speaker 2: The flight attendants came over, and you know, they always
Speaker 2: make some funny jokes, but one of them said, you know,
Speaker 2: every time, I really hope that everybody says hello and
Speaker 2: has a greeting for us. And every time, I'm very
Speaker 2: disappointed because I can never say that it has happened
Speaker 2: yet where every single person has walked on and said
Speaker 2: hello and smiled at us. And I just thought, what
Speaker 2: a perspective that is. And I always do not because
Speaker 2: of anything. That's just genuinely how I was raised. I
Speaker 2: was taught to interact with people and be aware of
Speaker 2: the world around me, and I am also well aware
Speaker 2: that that's not how everybody was raised, but it was
Speaker 2: such a perspective shift just for me sitting there and
Speaker 2: I was like, wow, really there was people here that
Speaker 2: just walk on with no regard that there's other humans
Speaker 2: in front of them.
Speaker 1: So here's what I would say to her or him,
Speaker 1: that's great, here's a tip. Focus of how many people
Speaker 1: come on this airplane every day that do say good morning,
Speaker 1: good evening, Hello, and focus on those people, not the
Speaker 1: ones who don't, because she or he's focused on all
Speaker 1: the ones who aren't. I get that, Okay, they're there,
Speaker 1: but there how many are there that say hello?
Speaker 3: I said that to the.
Speaker 1: To the flight attendant this morning. She was really sweet
Speaker 1: to me, and I made an extra point of saying
Speaker 1: thank you for making my flight great. I knew that
Speaker 1: made her feel good. Oh, I know what I'm doing
Speaker 1: because I'm a professional, but plenty of times, I mean,
Speaker 1: I've got three million miles on Delta, I've flown a
Speaker 1: lot and don't say boot. And I used to never
Speaker 1: help people with their luggage in the overhead. I would
Speaker 1: always think, well, they should have, they should have, they
Speaker 1: should be able, and you know she's needed help. I've
Speaker 1: got that little attitude about they shouldn't. And now the
Speaker 1: only thing that's changed is I look for opportunities to
Speaker 1: be helpful, and I feel better. Nothing has changed other
Speaker 1: than I'm a slightly better human being.
Speaker 2: Yes, that is the key word. You look for ways
Speaker 2: to be helpful. That is something that I do not
Speaker 2: feel exists. A lot a lot of people aren't looking
Speaker 2: for that opportunity.
Speaker 3: We'll forget about them. You just do it, don't worry
Speaker 3: about them.
Speaker 2: Is this is us trying to educate others, right, We
Speaker 2: want to make sure they're looking for the opportunity.
Speaker 1: I hope anyone who's listening is well, I'm not one
Speaker 1: of those people. Great, whoever's listening to this, which one
Speaker 1: are you? Are you one of the people that like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't really want to I don't really want to
Speaker 1: be that helpful to anybody.
Speaker 3: Or are you?
Speaker 1: The person goes, you know what, I'm going to be
Speaker 1: even more helpful than I already am because we're one
Speaker 1: of the other. We're one of the I mean, we're
Speaker 1: either one.
Speaker 3: Or the other.
Speaker 1: And you know, as far as that question like how
Speaker 1: do we get other people to do this?
Speaker 3: Lord? If I know, if we can figure.
Speaker 1: It out, let's bottle it. I think it's lived, talk
Speaker 1: about it. Use our platforms to make it easier. Here's
Speaker 1: a way I think we could do it. Make it
Speaker 1: so that it's not that hard. Oh that's interesting, and
Speaker 1: make it enjoyable. Oh, that's attractive. For people to do
Speaker 1: this so that the habit of being heliotropic, the habit
Speaker 1: of being uplifting and being the sun and not being
Speaker 1: the salt, is easier and enjoyable and attractive and obvious.
Speaker 1: This is stuff from James Clear, you know, atomic habits.
Speaker 1: Make it obvious, make it attractive, make it enjoyable, make
Speaker 1: it easy for any habit. Let's make these heliotropic habits easy, attractive, enjoyable,
Speaker 1: and obvious.
Speaker 2: I love that. I do. Think that's so beneficial. And
Speaker 2: thank you for sharing all of this. I want to
Speaker 2: leave you as something because I feel like you will
Speaker 2: very much love this compliment and something I hope that
Speaker 2: you steal. One of my good friends. Still one of
Speaker 2: my favorite compliments I've ever received to this day, she goes,
Speaker 2: you are human sunshine, and that compliment will never leave
Speaker 2: my brain.
Speaker 3: And what that.
Speaker 1: Means is you are such a powerful force of goodness
Speaker 1: that what that sunshine does, oh my god, it literally
Speaker 1: makes life on earth.
Speaker 3: Period.
Speaker 1: Without it, we don't exist, so all that energy from
Speaker 1: the sun goes into the plants and turns into fossil
Speaker 1: fuels and food, and why we're here is because of that.
Speaker 1: It's transmuted human sunshine. What a beautiful compliment, awesomeness. Let's
Speaker 1: get more people as human sunshinees plural to create a movement.
Speaker 1: Let's start a thing. Anybody who wants to be a
Speaker 1: human son, let's do something for him.
Speaker 2: I agree, I agree, and I again, I hope you
Speaker 2: take it, and that can be a compliment you have it.
Speaker 2: It was one of my favorites. So doctor Harry Cohen,
Speaker 2: thank you so much for being here with me and
Speaker 2: talking about this and for writing your book, because small
Speaker 2: steps create big change and that's what we're doing. So
Speaker 2: thank you.
Speaker 3: My absolute pleasure.
Speaker 2: Doctor Harry con was just on with us and we
Speaker 2: talked all about kindness and understanding other human beings and
Speaker 2: really interacting with the world in a very authentic and
Speaker 2: kind way. And so many of my questions came from
Speaker 2: why is this so hard for us? Now? After I
Speaker 2: recorded this interview with doctor Harry, my dog Remmy and
Speaker 2: I went on a walk and I was thinking about
Speaker 2: kindness and why it's so difficult for some people to
Speaker 2: not act in kindness. And some of those reasons I
Speaker 2: came up with were past experiences, trauma, unkind people they've
Speaker 2: encountered before, role models who acted in a way that
Speaker 2: weren't kind. And I thought about all of these things,
Speaker 2: and it's really easy when you've had some horrible life
Speaker 2: experiences or interacted with very unkind and just mean people
Speaker 2: in the world, it's very natural for you to want
Speaker 2: to continue in that same direction of these people that
Speaker 2: you've encountered before. But then I was brought back to
Speaker 2: an interview actually on this podcast, episode two, with doctor
Speaker 2: Alexandra Solomon, and we were speaking about some of my
Speaker 2: past experiences. I was bullied in high school, I was
Speaker 2: in an abusive relationship in my early twenties. And as
Speaker 2: I'm talking to her about this, and I just say,
Speaker 2: very passively, well, because of those experiences, now i'm a
Speaker 2: better person and I've learned and grown from those and
Speaker 2: she looked at me very kindly, very soft spoken, and
Speaker 2: just said, you didn't have to choose to be kind
Speaker 2: after those experiences. And I had never really thought about
Speaker 2: it in that capacity. I didn't have to choose after
Speaker 2: girls bullied me and said incredibly unkind things to me
Speaker 2: and made me feel so horrible that I was suicidal
Speaker 2: or being in a relationship with a man who physically
Speaker 2: and emotionally abused me. After both of those experiences, I
Speaker 2: didn't have to choose to be kind to other people
Speaker 2: because of that. As a result of that, actually a
Speaker 2: lot of people would have done the opposite. They would
Speaker 2: have chosen to continue that pattern. And when she said
Speaker 2: that to me, it really gave me a very big
Speaker 2: perspective on my choices as a human being. We all
Speaker 2: get to make our choices, and we all make mistakes
Speaker 2: because we are human. But those choices are ours to make,
Speaker 2: just as it is my choice to have chosen the
Speaker 2: path of positivity and understanding that I don't want anybody
Speaker 2: to ever feel the way that I felt in either
Speaker 2: of those scenarios, and I didn't want to continue those
Speaker 2: patterns of behavior. I chose a different path, just as
Speaker 2: somebody else who might have been in my position chose
Speaker 2: the path that was a little less difficult, and it
Speaker 2: was easier to just continue the path of being me
Speaker 2: to continue the pattern of abuse. Our choices are what
Speaker 2: makes us human. They're what makes us who we are
Speaker 2: as people, but those choices have consequences. So much of
Speaker 2: what I wanted to talk to doctor Harry Cohen about
Speaker 2: is why people choose to be kind or choose not
Speaker 2: to be kind, And maybe in our lifetime, I'm never
Speaker 2: going to have the actual answer of why some people
Speaker 2: choose a certain path versus some others don't, regardless of
Speaker 2: our past experiences. But I know that we as people
Speaker 2: have the power to make the right choices. We also
Speaker 2: have the power to make the wrong choices, and that's
Speaker 2: what this podcast is for. This episode is about having
Speaker 2: the strength to make the right choice. Now, I'm human.
Speaker 2: Just because I made the right choice in both of
Speaker 2: those scenarios and took the harder path doesn't mean I
Speaker 2: haven't made the wrong ones and I wasn't human. You
Speaker 2: should see me driving on a highway. I have horrible
Speaker 2: road rage. I hate when people are inconsiderate of others
Speaker 2: and it bothers me to a t. And I've had
Speaker 2: to really enter look at myself and say why am
Speaker 2: I getting so upset at these people? And take a
Speaker 2: step back and understand that other people are experiencing different
Speaker 2: life experiences and I have to allow them to also
Speaker 2: be human. And that's where I struggle because I'm not
Speaker 2: p perfect. I have problems every day. I'm not somebody
Speaker 2: who's sitting here and going to say just because I
Speaker 2: did it right these few times doesn't mean I have
Speaker 2: done it right every single time. But one thing that
Speaker 2: I do always boil down to is that I never
Speaker 2: want someone to encounter and experience with me and leave
Speaker 2: warse off for it. That's something that I've known to
Speaker 2: my core from who I was born to be as
Speaker 2: a human being, when I was little, and how I
Speaker 2: interacted with the world, and as I grew up and
Speaker 2: I had these horrible experiences, something that always mattered to
Speaker 2: me is that I never wanted other people to walk
Speaker 2: away from an experience with me, whether that be a friendship,
Speaker 2: a relationship, and encounter just for five minutes that it
Speaker 2: was bad that they didn't want to be around me
Speaker 2: for the simple fact that I wasn't a good human.
Speaker 2: And that's why I say we all get to make choices,
Speaker 2: and we all have a say in how we live
Speaker 2: our lives. These are my choices, just as you're going
Speaker 2: to have yours. And there are some things that I
Speaker 2: know for certain. While I am horrible with road rage,
Speaker 2: and it's an active thing that I'm working on. You're
Speaker 2: never going to see me in a comment section on
Speaker 2: somebody's posts, making comments that I can't take back, or
Speaker 2: simply making a rude opinion for the sake of a
Speaker 2: like You're not going to see me out into the
Speaker 2: world pushing somebody down in hopes that I'm lifted back up.
Speaker 2: My flaws are different than other people's. Those are flaws
Speaker 2: for some people. Those are flaws for a lot of
Speaker 2: unfortunately our society and the way that social media works.
Speaker 2: But it's been an active choice of mine not to
Speaker 2: be part of that, just as for some people they
Speaker 2: can actively choose not to have road rage, and they
Speaker 2: have a lot of patients in the roads that they
Speaker 2: drive on. And you know, while I was thinking about kindness,
Speaker 2: especially in regards to this interview with doctor Harry, and
Speaker 2: I was on this walk with Remy. It was a
Speaker 2: whole walk. I'm telling you, guys, this is the way
Speaker 2: that my brain works and the way that I interact
Speaker 2: with the world, and a lot of self awareness that
Speaker 2: I have is just choosing to be on these walks
Speaker 2: and having these thoughts in my brain versus shutting everything
Speaker 2: down or shutting everything out. While I was thinking about kindness,
Speaker 2: I was walking past a bunch of different cars in
Speaker 2: the neighborhood, and there was a whole bunch of different licenses.
Speaker 2: Because I live in Nashville, We're kind of a melting
Speaker 2: pot and all kinds of people move here. And I
Speaker 2: was seeing all these different state license plates, and all
Speaker 2: of them had different mottos, you know. I remember seeing Virginia.
Speaker 2: That was the first one I saw. It was Virginia's
Speaker 2: for Lovers. And then I kind of went down a
Speaker 2: rabbit hole of looking up a bunch of different state
Speaker 2: slogans to see what either they have on their license
Speaker 2: plate or what they stand for. And here's just a
Speaker 2: few of them. So New Hampshire, Live Free or Die, Indiana,
Speaker 2: the Crossroads of America, Alaska, North to the Future, Oklahoma,
Speaker 2: hard work conquers all things, New York Excelsior, Kansas to
Speaker 2: the stars through adversity. Oregon, she flies with her own wings.
Speaker 2: Personal favorite of mine Texas is Friendship. New Mexico it
Speaker 2: grows as it goes, California, Eureka, which apparently means I
Speaker 2: have found it. And Wisconsin Forward. Now these are just
Speaker 2: a few of them, and if any of these are changed,
Speaker 2: I have no idea. This is just what Google says,
Speaker 2: but it had me then processing what is my slogan?
Speaker 2: I look at all these state license plates, and this
Speaker 2: is what these states hope to show when people visit
Speaker 2: their state. This is what they hope our whole country
Speaker 2: in the world sees them as when they look at
Speaker 2: Kansas or Wisconsin or New Hampshire. These are their slogans.
Speaker 2: This is what they want to live by. This is
Speaker 2: what they want their people and their state to live by.
Speaker 2: So what is your slogan? What do you stand for?
Speaker 2: What do you hope that every time somebody encounters you
Speaker 2: in the world, What do you hope they all come
Speaker 2: away with. Your hope is that it's all the same thing, right.
Speaker 2: You hope that when you interact with the world, you
Speaker 2: have a consistency to you. You hope that when people
Speaker 2: to you, it's always going to be a similar experience
Speaker 2: because you, as a person would be consistent. That's the goal.
Speaker 2: Now I'm not saying that's easy. Now, I'm not saying
Speaker 2: we're all at that place in our lives, but that
Speaker 2: is the goal. So I would imagine if we all
Speaker 2: came up with slogans or maybe a mantra for a
Speaker 2: way that you choose to live your life, the way
Speaker 2: that you believe you should be interacting with the world.
Speaker 2: I think it would help all of us, not only ourselves,
Speaker 2: but the way that we exist within the world. You know,
Speaker 2: for me, as I was thinking about these slogans, something
Speaker 2: that I've always really focused on, especially since that situation
Speaker 2: in high school for me being bullied and understanding that
Speaker 2: people do not have to interact with the world in
Speaker 2: the same way as I do, but that I had
Speaker 2: an influence that I could change the way people interact
Speaker 2: with the world because of how I choose to interact
Speaker 2: with the world. So from that point forward, I really
Speaker 2: started to narrow down and take it from someone who's
Speaker 2: been in years of therapy, this was not easy. Who
Speaker 2: I am today and what I have become was never easy.
Speaker 2: It took a lot of pain, It took a lot
Speaker 2: of hard conversations and a lot of deep in our
Speaker 2: work to find who I am as a human being.
Speaker 2: So when I say, for me, these are the things
Speaker 2: that I try to focus on, These are the things
Speaker 2: that I hope, maybe someday I can come up with
Speaker 2: a slogan to represent These are years and years of
Speaker 2: work put into who I am as a human being.
Speaker 2: Something that I want to do is always focus on authenticity,
Speaker 2: being genuine, being compassionate, being strong and very strong human
Speaker 2: being physically and emotionally, Being loyal to the people in
Speaker 2: my circle, being loyal to the people that I encounter,
Speaker 2: and newly because of what you heard, a compliment from
Speaker 2: a friend was sunshine. These are all things that I
Speaker 2: hope to encompass when I interact with the world, not
Speaker 2: just the people in my circle, not just the people
Speaker 2: I say every single day, whether they be coworkers or strangers.
Speaker 2: This is how I choose as a human being that
Speaker 2: I want to interact with the world. Now, what is
Speaker 2: that slogan? What encompasses all of those things? I have
Speaker 2: no idea, but I thought it was a cool exercise
Speaker 2: for us to start to understand ourselves better and how
Speaker 2: we want to believe the world exists around us, how
Speaker 2: we want to walk out each day out of our
Speaker 2: front doors and say this is who I'm going to
Speaker 2: be every single day. Because consistency does matter. Consistency matters
Speaker 2: not just in our own lives, but in the world
Speaker 2: around us, and I think if we can all come
Speaker 2: up with these slogans where we understand ourselves and the
Speaker 2: things that we want for ourselves and the things that
Speaker 2: we want out of this life better, then it makes
Speaker 2: interacting with the world with strain in relationships easier. It
Speaker 2: helps us know what we always want. It's no different
Speaker 2: than maybeing a single person and having to understand what
Speaker 2: I want from a partner, somebody who I want to
Speaker 2: spend my entire life with. You know, we always make
Speaker 2: these pros and con lists or write down characteristics of
Speaker 2: a future partner. Why don't we do that for ourselves.
Speaker 2: Why don't we understand who we are and what we
Speaker 2: want for ourselves better? I think that allows us to
Speaker 2: do what doctor Harry Cohen talks about in this interview
Speaker 2: and in his book, it's how we can be better
Speaker 2: people in the world, Because when we don't understand how
Speaker 2: we're supposed to interact with the world, how the heck
Speaker 2: are we gonna choose to be a better person every
Speaker 2: single day with the people around us that we're interacting with.
Speaker 2: Strangers are not so. Perhaps after this episode sit for
Speaker 2: five minutes, it doesn't have to be for very long
Speaker 2: and try and come up with your slogan. I'm going
Speaker 2: to I know what it should encompass, but what do
Speaker 2: I actually want it to say? Who is Morgan in
Speaker 2: the world of a slogan? If I had to label
Speaker 2: myself as I'm walking out into the world, what do
Speaker 2: I hope people encounter every time that they have an
Speaker 2: experience with me? So the slogan exercise is something fun.
Speaker 2: It's something that I feel like can be a great
Speaker 2: journal entry for anyone. As I'm sitting here with my
Speaker 2: journal that I wrote in after this interview, this is
Speaker 2: kind of a journal entry, if you will, after doctor
Speaker 2: Harry Cohen, and I think it's just an exercise that
Speaker 2: might be beneficial. Maybe it's not. Maybe it's so silly
Speaker 2: and so stupid, and maybe it's how I interact with
Speaker 2: the world and the way that I see things. And
Speaker 2: I thought, hmmm, license plates, slogans, how does that change?
Speaker 2: Just as people? Am I a little bit crazy? Sure? Absolutely,
Speaker 2: a little bit weird also, yes, absolutely, But I also
Speaker 2: think there's a benefit to it. It's no different than
Speaker 2: if you recall back in an episode I did with
Speaker 2: Jared Houston and we were talking about those venn diagrams
Speaker 2: and how you find your center. This is a similar concept,
Speaker 2: but this might be able to give you some concrete words,
Speaker 2: a concrete basis to choose how you interact with the world,
Speaker 2: Because as much as we love to forget it, we
Speaker 2: do have an impact. Every single person in this world
Speaker 2: has an impact. They are impacting the world around them,
Speaker 2: the communities around them, every single day. But how do
Speaker 2: you do that with more strength, with more authenticity that
Speaker 2: you just radiate kindness, and I believe that so much
Speaker 2: of that starts with understanding ourselves that much better. So
Speaker 2: take out your journals, your netbooks, your little notes app
Speaker 2: and your phone, whatever it may be, and come up
Speaker 2: with your slogan. Let me know what yours is. I
Speaker 2: love seeing them, and you know, I might have to
Speaker 2: steal a combination of Kansas in Organs because I really
Speaker 2: loved both of those. I'm gonna be sitting here for
Speaker 2: a while coming up with my slogan, my life motto,
Speaker 2: my mantra, and hopefully you're able to come up with
Speaker 2: one too, And maybe, just maybe, even if there's fifteen
Speaker 2: of us that decide to do this, that means there's
Speaker 2: fifteen more people in the world who are choosing to
Speaker 2: interact in the world with more kindness.