WEBVTT - Caelynn in the Hot Seat 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:04.960 Hell I Suck At Dating with Mengler, Jared Haven and 0:00:05.080 --> 0:00:11.840 I heard radio podcast What is Up? Everyone? Welcome to 0:00:11.840 --> 0:00:15.080 an all new episode of Help I Suck At Dating. 0:00:15.520 --> 0:00:18.280 I'm sure you're listening to last week's episode, and if 0:00:18.320 --> 0:00:21.000 you didn't, I can't blame you, because let's be real, 0:00:21.079 --> 0:00:23.560 it was just Jared and Ashley on the show, and 0:00:23.720 --> 0:00:26.040 who I'm just kidding. We love Jared n Ashley. If 0:00:26.040 --> 0:00:27.880 you haven't listened last week's episode, go back and listen 0:00:27.960 --> 0:00:30.920 to that episode. But what Jared and I did is 0:00:31.000 --> 0:00:35.400 we've kind of pulled a switcher ru of hosts of sorts. 0:00:35.479 --> 0:00:38.599 So Jared had his wife Ashley co host with him 0:00:38.680 --> 0:00:41.720 last week and this week for the first time in 0:00:41.840 --> 0:00:44.680 Help I Suck At Dating History, I have my wonderful 0:00:44.760 --> 0:00:49.600 girlfriend Kalin co hosting with me. Not an interview. She's 0:00:49.600 --> 0:00:54.000 not gonna just be answering questions, putting on her best face, 0:00:54.120 --> 0:00:56.680 putting her best foot forward. She's literally going to be 0:00:56.840 --> 0:01:02.600 co hosting this week's episode with yours truly, Kalen. If 0:01:02.640 --> 0:01:06.400 you would not mind saying saying hi to everyone. Hello, everyone, 0:01:06.440 --> 0:01:10.000 I'm super excited to be co hosting. I didn't know 0:01:10.040 --> 0:01:14.480 I was doing this up until well like a day ago. Yeah, yeah, 0:01:14.600 --> 0:01:16.919 a little bit of a back story. So I guess 0:01:16.959 --> 0:01:19.479 honesty is really what we value most here on Help. 0:01:19.480 --> 0:01:21.959 I suck at dating. The reason that they hosted last 0:01:22.000 --> 0:01:24.920 week's episode is because one of my very good friends, 0:01:24.959 --> 0:01:28.160 one of my best friends, just turned thirty on that 0:01:28.240 --> 0:01:31.600 Friday of last week, which we typically record on, and 0:01:31.880 --> 0:01:34.000 he is an obsessive golfer, and so what we did 0:01:34.080 --> 0:01:36.480 was for his thirtieth week, surprised him with a round 0:01:36.480 --> 0:01:38.800 of golf at his favorite golf course very far away 0:01:38.840 --> 0:01:42.600 from our our our apartments in Los Angeles, and I 0:01:42.800 --> 0:01:45.800 over extended myself, as I often do, and I was 0:01:45.840 --> 0:01:48.680 not able to make our recording time for that, And 0:01:48.720 --> 0:01:53.120 so our consolation was having Jared Nashally host last week's episode. 0:01:53.160 --> 0:01:58.200 And my, uh my way of remedying the situation, I 0:01:58.200 --> 0:02:01.919 guess you could say, is having k Ellen so graciously 0:02:02.200 --> 0:02:06.440 co host this week with me, because our our fans 0:02:06.480 --> 0:02:08.000 of Help by succredating I've been with us for a 0:02:08.000 --> 0:02:09.560 long time. If you haven't been with us for a 0:02:09.560 --> 0:02:11.320 long time, welcome and thank you for joining us now. 0:02:11.600 --> 0:02:15.400 But it's it's not often that I am so willing 0:02:15.480 --> 0:02:17.880 to have Kalen on our podcast, and if you listen 0:02:17.919 --> 0:02:22.800 to two weeks ago when we had Kalen interviewed by Jared, 0:02:23.320 --> 0:02:25.280 you kind of get a little bit understanding as to 0:02:25.400 --> 0:02:28.320 why I'm so hesitant. Uh, we just kind of like 0:02:28.400 --> 0:02:33.840 to keep our our relationship somewhat private. We like to 0:02:33.880 --> 0:02:35.840 share the things we want to share. We don't like 0:02:36.000 --> 0:02:42.520 to be consistently like out in the media, which is 0:02:42.520 --> 0:02:44.840 just such a silly thing to say. It's like, if 0:02:44.880 --> 0:02:46.840 we wanted to be in the media, would we even 0:02:46.880 --> 0:02:48.120 be allowed to be in the media. I don't know. 0:02:48.160 --> 0:02:52.760 But the point is we just kind of stay. Yeah, 0:02:52.840 --> 0:02:55.919 we stay away from that, but we're not protecting it anymore. 0:02:55.960 --> 0:02:59.480 In fact, we are throwing our relationship into the wolves, 0:03:00.240 --> 0:03:05.200 into the fryer, and we are now co hosting podcasts together. 0:03:05.360 --> 0:03:07.560 We go from an interview we took a week off, 0:03:07.840 --> 0:03:10.480 and now we're co hosting it together. This relationship is 0:03:10.520 --> 0:03:14.680 progressing far too quickly for the likes of anyone involved. Um, 0:03:14.720 --> 0:03:16.560 it's been a year and a half. Yes, it's been 0:03:16.600 --> 0:03:18.440 a year and a half. And it's funny because when 0:03:18.480 --> 0:03:21.360 I told Kaylin just I literally think I just told 0:03:21.400 --> 0:03:25.280 her just yesterday. I said Hey, by the way, you're 0:03:25.280 --> 0:03:27.679 gonna have to co host my podcast with me tomorrow. 0:03:28.480 --> 0:03:31.000 And she was obviously like, yes, it's perfectly fine. And 0:03:31.000 --> 0:03:32.520 then she came to me like twenty minutes later and 0:03:32.560 --> 0:03:36.080 she goes, Hey, since I'm co hosting your podcast with 0:03:36.200 --> 0:03:38.600 you tomorrow, you're going to have to be on my 0:03:38.640 --> 0:03:40.600 YouTube video and answer a Q and A with me, 0:03:40.600 --> 0:03:42.160 because so many people ask me to host a Q 0:03:42.280 --> 0:03:45.800 and A involving you, and typically what I would say 0:03:45.880 --> 0:03:48.280 is no, not into it. Keep me out of your 0:03:48.280 --> 0:03:52.280 YouTube videos as I keep you out of my my podcast. 0:03:52.360 --> 0:03:54.800 But we're turning over new leaves. I think we're just 0:03:55.040 --> 0:03:57.480 we're scraping the bottom of the barrel for content here, 0:03:58.320 --> 0:04:02.800 and uh we're utilizing our last resorts, which is each other. 0:04:02.960 --> 0:04:07.280 So uh try try as we will, try as we might, 0:04:07.440 --> 0:04:11.160 we will uh stay as relevant as we possibly can. 0:04:13.880 --> 0:04:16.120 We've got a great episode for you guys today, Kaitlin, 0:04:16.320 --> 0:04:18.159 tell them what kind of episode we have in store 0:04:18.200 --> 0:04:20.560 for them. You probably don't know because you're not on 0:04:20.600 --> 0:04:22.720 the emails that I received. We got a great episode. 0:04:22.720 --> 0:04:26.120 It's gonna be Uh. Becky, Mark Easton are all part 0:04:26.160 --> 0:04:28.200 of it. Jared is taking the week off, as we 0:04:28.279 --> 0:04:31.560 kind of alluded to earlier. Um, we've got some questions 0:04:31.560 --> 0:04:34.080 that some of our listeners have submitted, Thank you very much. 0:04:35.279 --> 0:04:38.680 What else do we have? We have some great headlines, 0:04:38.920 --> 0:04:41.800 some topical headlines we want to talk about. We want 0:04:41.839 --> 0:04:45.159 to talk a little bit about maywage and what brings 0:04:45.240 --> 0:04:47.880 us here together. Uh, so you're not gonna want to 0:04:47.920 --> 0:04:50.359 miss any of that stuff. But before we jump into 0:04:50.800 --> 0:04:52.839 I guess any of that, I want to bring Becky 0:04:52.920 --> 0:04:56.640 in if she's if she's out there somewhere, Um, and 0:04:56.680 --> 0:05:00.120 maybe we can just have a little convo about one 0:05:00.120 --> 0:05:03.640 of the things that our listeners out there are interested 0:05:03.880 --> 0:05:08.400 in hearing about. Becky, what do you think? Yeah, we 0:05:08.480 --> 0:05:12.279 have a long list of questions for you guys, and 0:05:12.440 --> 0:05:16.400 some headlines that we can go through well. And before 0:05:16.720 --> 0:05:19.200 and I'm sorry to interrupt you, as I always go 0:05:19.240 --> 0:05:22.839 off on these tangential thoughts. Uh, I do want to say, 0:05:23.240 --> 0:05:25.600 as we've talked about in this podcast before, Becky had 0:05:25.600 --> 0:05:28.880 brought into Mario from I think it was Ohio or 0:05:28.960 --> 0:05:34.599 was it Michigan, Michigan, somewhere in the Midwest. I was close, uh, 0:05:34.640 --> 0:05:37.120 and Caitlin and I really wanted to go on a 0:05:37.120 --> 0:05:39.840 double date with you guys, as we had talked about, 0:05:39.920 --> 0:05:43.680 but unfortunately it wasn't the case. But uh, maybe one 0:05:43.720 --> 0:05:45.520 of these days you can get to Mario onto the 0:05:45.600 --> 0:05:51.719 podcast and we can all virtually double date. Definitely, Um, 0:05:51.760 --> 0:05:57.320 I would love that and I'm sure he would as well. Anyways, 0:05:57.360 --> 0:06:02.200 what do you want to talk about? Becky? Um? So 0:06:06.320 --> 0:06:08.279 can I share something? Becky? Will you go ahead and 0:06:08.320 --> 0:06:11.520 just uh we just we just would just mute your 0:06:11.560 --> 0:06:13.520 computer real quick, so there's no audio coming out of it, 0:06:13.800 --> 0:06:17.320 So I want to and just give me a thumbs 0:06:17.360 --> 0:06:20.880 up if I'm allowed to share this, that's okay, right, yes, okay, cool. 0:06:21.560 --> 0:06:23.039 I'm just gonna go ahead and say this real quick. 0:06:23.520 --> 0:06:26.680 Becky messaged the group privately and said her dad is 0:06:26.720 --> 0:06:28.880 sitting next to her and does not know that her 0:06:28.920 --> 0:06:31.760 and to Mario have gone on a date. Uh. And 0:06:31.880 --> 0:06:35.320 so to Becky's father, if you're listening to this, I apologize, 0:06:36.120 --> 0:06:40.160 And to anyone that might be speaking about future relationships, 0:06:40.200 --> 0:06:43.479 maybe pull the foot out of your mouth and just 0:06:43.520 --> 0:06:45.680 kind of keep it to yourself until after the fact. Anyways, 0:06:45.680 --> 0:06:48.880 I'm sorry, Becky. Back to you, sweet, and then back 0:06:48.920 --> 0:06:54.720 to you guys. Um. Okay, let's get rolling. Uh, first, 0:06:55.200 --> 0:07:02.440 what is your biggest turn off about each other? Does? Oh? Easy? Um? 0:07:02.480 --> 0:07:05.240 My biggest pet peeve in the whole world. I don't 0:07:05.279 --> 0:07:08.000 know why, but when people chew with their mouth open, 0:07:08.000 --> 0:07:10.880 it suggars this rage inside of me. So Dean likes 0:07:10.960 --> 0:07:13.360 to chomp, and then she with his mouth closed, and 0:07:13.400 --> 0:07:15.760 so I'm like, I can hear your chewing from the 0:07:15.800 --> 0:07:18.200 other room, and he He's like, you can't even hear me. 0:07:18.240 --> 0:07:20.800 You're in the other room. He's crazy. We literally in 0:07:20.880 --> 0:07:22.880 opposite rooms of each other. And I'm like eating chips 0:07:22.880 --> 0:07:26.440 in the living room and she like yells across stop chewing. 0:07:26.560 --> 0:07:31.120 And I, in my opinion, in my experience, I'm pretty like, 0:07:31.840 --> 0:07:34.200 uh polite when it comes to chewing. I keep my 0:07:34.240 --> 0:07:37.040 mouth closed, but my like initial first two bites are 0:07:37.040 --> 0:07:40.840 pretty I guess, pretty aggressive. Um. But that's Is that 0:07:40.880 --> 0:07:42.920 a turn off or is that a pet peeve? Pete? 0:07:43.360 --> 0:07:45.840 So what's a turn off? That was a question? Okay, 0:07:45.960 --> 0:07:52.320 turn off would be sometimes it's just a little smelly. Yeah, 0:07:52.560 --> 0:07:55.400 that's not a turn off though, just like that one 0:07:55.480 --> 0:07:57.760 day that you got really smelly. You want to know 0:07:57.760 --> 0:08:02.720 what's Yeah, I'm not denying that I get a little smelly. 0:08:02.760 --> 0:08:06.240 I've played golf today with Wells and on like the 0:08:06.320 --> 0:08:09.360 sixth hole. He like, we're like sharing a golf cart 0:08:09.400 --> 0:08:12.960 together and we're driving to our balls that we had 0:08:13.040 --> 0:08:15.080 just hit, and he looks at me and he goes, hey, 0:08:15.120 --> 0:08:20.320 when was the last time you bathed yourself? It's been 0:08:20.320 --> 0:08:23.120 about I would say, like five days since my last shower. 0:08:23.640 --> 0:08:25.400 Which it's funny because I played golf with the Wells 0:08:25.440 --> 0:08:27.000 five days ago and I told him that I should 0:08:27.040 --> 0:08:28.440 The day that I played with him last was the 0:08:28.480 --> 0:08:31.400 last time that I showered. I get it, Yes, I 0:08:31.480 --> 0:08:33.760 know it's I'm a busy guy, Okay, I don't have 0:08:33.800 --> 0:08:37.360 time for things like showers or soap whatever. Um, what 0:08:37.520 --> 0:08:44.640 is my biggest I'm a busy guy, you guys, I've 0:08:44.679 --> 0:08:45.880 got a lot of I got a lot of things. 0:08:46.000 --> 0:08:47.640 I've got a lot of the business ventures I'm working 0:08:47.640 --> 0:08:52.120 on a lot of Yeah, anyways, my biggest turn off? Um? 0:08:52.960 --> 0:08:54.720 What is? What? Do you think my biggest turn off is? 0:08:55.120 --> 0:09:03.080 I'm perfect? Nothing? What is my biggest turn off? Um? 0:09:03.160 --> 0:09:07.079 Do you have any I'm a little cleany? Yeah yeah, 0:09:07.160 --> 0:09:10.400 maybe maybe clinginess, I guess would say, but I kind 0:09:10.400 --> 0:09:12.680 of like like the clingness a little bit. It's like 0:09:12.720 --> 0:09:15.160 kind of cute. I would say, my biggest turn off 0:09:15.640 --> 0:09:22.760 is oh, um, oh, I know what it is. I 0:09:22.760 --> 0:09:24.520 didn't know exactly what it is, and you should know 0:09:24.520 --> 0:09:28.200 what it is too. My biggest turn off is lip 0:09:28.280 --> 0:09:33.839 gloss or chapstick. I freaking hate chapstick. And whenever Calin 0:09:33.840 --> 0:09:37.880 puts chapstick on to like to moisturess your dry lips 0:09:40.120 --> 0:09:41.800 and she like leans in for a kiss, I say, 0:09:41.920 --> 0:09:43.960 get the heck away from me and keep your oily 0:09:44.000 --> 0:09:46.960 lips off of mine. So that's my biggest thing. Like, 0:09:46.960 --> 0:09:48.719 whenever she does that, that's the thing where I'm like, 0:09:48.720 --> 0:09:50.560 absolutely not stay away from me. I don't know why 0:09:50.640 --> 0:09:54.160 I hate. I hate oily lips, I hate oily skin. 0:09:55.360 --> 0:09:57.400 It just that's my turn off. Wait, can I ask 0:09:57.400 --> 0:10:00.560 one question really quick? If chapstick is a turn off 0:10:00.640 --> 0:10:06.240 than our dry chapped lips a turn on? Uh? I 0:10:06.240 --> 0:10:08.520 don't think it's one extreme to the next. It's it's 0:10:08.559 --> 0:10:10.160 kind of more of just like a happy media like 0:10:10.160 --> 0:10:13.640 happy middle ground. Uh. There have been times where like, 0:10:13.720 --> 0:10:15.640 for instance, the first thing that comes to mind is 0:10:15.760 --> 0:10:18.600 last year, I did this big climbing trip with my 0:10:18.640 --> 0:10:20.839 buddy and we like ran out of water for the 0:10:20.920 --> 0:10:22.800 last half of it, and so my lips were super trapped, 0:10:23.320 --> 0:10:25.800 and I remember like kissing her and I was like, well, 0:10:25.800 --> 0:10:28.920 this sucks just as much as kissing you with chapstick on. 0:10:28.960 --> 0:10:30.839 So I'm gonna say no, it's exsolutely the case. It's 0:10:30.880 --> 0:10:32.480 just like, there's got to be a happy medium somewhere, 0:10:32.520 --> 0:10:36.000 you know. Wow. Yeah. I also love the dynamic of 0:10:36.000 --> 0:10:38.640 when you asked a couple what's the biggest turn off 0:10:38.720 --> 0:10:40.960 is about E show? But you asked a woman, she's like, oh, 0:10:41.040 --> 0:10:47.520 where do I begin? But you asked the guy. He's like, well, honey, 0:10:47.600 --> 0:10:49.520 what do you think it is? Because what am I 0:10:49.559 --> 0:10:52.120 allowed to say here? What would be acceptable for me 0:10:52.160 --> 0:10:55.000 to say? And he's just linch loss, which is nothing 0:10:55.040 --> 0:10:59.640 about her as a person. Well, she's got a laundry list. No, 0:10:59.800 --> 0:11:01.840 it's on a laundry list. And by the way, you'd 0:11:01.880 --> 0:11:07.560 be the same with me and my wife. Yeah. I 0:11:07.559 --> 0:11:09.200 thought you were going to say what when I say 0:11:09.240 --> 0:11:12.120 what after you say something? Oh yeah, okay, that's also 0:11:12.160 --> 0:11:15.400 another good one. Um, well, it's this is more of 0:11:15.440 --> 0:11:17.360 a pet peeve though than a turn off. But I 0:11:17.360 --> 0:11:19.440 guess it's I think that we can all be turned 0:11:19.480 --> 0:11:21.560 on and off to people of you know whoever. It 0:11:21.640 --> 0:11:25.199 is so whenever I say something and again, I speak quickly, 0:11:25.240 --> 0:11:28.319 sometimes I mumble. Sometimes I'm not saying that I'm completely 0:11:28.960 --> 0:11:32.840 absolved absolved the fault here. But whenever someone like clearly 0:11:32.920 --> 0:11:36.880 understands what you say and they still say what, Oh God, 0:11:36.920 --> 0:11:40.199 it drives me absolutely bonkers. I lose my mind. And 0:11:39.920 --> 0:11:43.480 and what I've started doing, especially in old ages, I've 0:11:43.760 --> 0:11:46.959 I've stopped repeating myself and I've stopped reese telling them 0:11:46.960 --> 0:11:49.520 what I said, and I like, just pause for a 0:11:49.559 --> 0:11:51.640 good five to ten seconds, and I would say nine 0:11:51.640 --> 0:11:54.800 times out of ten they end up answering the thing 0:11:54.840 --> 0:11:56.839 that I said anyways, because it just takes them a 0:11:56.880 --> 0:11:59.480 little bit longer too. And I think I've actually talked 0:11:59.480 --> 0:12:00.960 about this on the podcast before, but it just takes 0:12:01.000 --> 0:12:03.559 them a little bit longer to piece together in their 0:12:03.559 --> 0:12:05.600 head what I said that they were asking what I said, 0:12:05.600 --> 0:12:07.240 and they were just like trying to stall for time. 0:12:07.600 --> 0:12:09.719 But I it's one of my biggest pet peeps of 0:12:09.760 --> 0:12:15.640 all time, if not my biggest. Okay, next question, do 0:12:15.720 --> 0:12:20.880 you think it's important to never go to bed angry? Yes? 0:12:21.040 --> 0:12:23.320 I do. I think we do a good job of 0:12:24.200 --> 0:12:25.760 well he does a really good job. If I'm mad 0:12:25.800 --> 0:12:28.240 at him, he'll get me out of whatever funk I'm in. 0:12:28.800 --> 0:12:31.000 He's a little bit harder when he's angry to get 0:12:31.040 --> 0:12:35.160 out of it. Yeah. Well, I think that as an individuals, 0:12:35.200 --> 0:12:37.840 we require different things to get us out of our anger. 0:12:39.280 --> 0:12:41.560 She I would not to speak for her, but I'm 0:12:41.600 --> 0:12:44.480 going to anyway. She requires a little bit of extra 0:12:44.480 --> 0:12:48.920 attention and like some coofiness and some laughter, and I 0:12:49.000 --> 0:12:52.720 just require some like solitude and quietness. And so with 0:12:52.760 --> 0:12:55.920 those two things considered, She like, I don't say I 0:12:55.920 --> 0:12:57.880 ever go to better angry because I don't really have 0:12:57.920 --> 0:13:00.120 to get angry except for when she asks me what 0:13:00.240 --> 0:13:02.600 after everything that I say, or when she was look 0:13:02.679 --> 0:13:04.360 loss and when she don't get me wrong. When she 0:13:04.400 --> 0:13:06.920 does those two things together, I go off the free. 0:13:07.040 --> 0:13:10.160 I like, I gotta leave for weeks at a time. Um, 0:13:10.240 --> 0:13:14.199 But uh, I don't think that we ever really got 0:13:14.240 --> 0:13:17.120 a bit angry, because well, hey, I don't really think 0:13:17.120 --> 0:13:19.280 we ever really get angry at each other. Like there 0:13:19.280 --> 0:13:21.880 are super little things that we obviously get annoyed with 0:13:21.920 --> 0:13:25.599 each other about, but no, we don't really go to 0:13:25.679 --> 0:13:27.800 bit angry, So I don't think I don't think it's 0:13:29.040 --> 0:13:30.800 It hasn't applied to our relationships, so it's kind of 0:13:30.800 --> 0:13:32.959 hard for us to really make a definitive stance one 0:13:33.040 --> 0:13:46.880 way or the other. So Ashley and Jured were asked 0:13:46.960 --> 0:13:52.760 this question as well, Um, does a significant other's number 0:13:53.040 --> 0:13:56.040 matter to you? And numbers and how many people have 0:13:56.120 --> 0:13:58.520 they've slept with? Yeah, you wanna what's funny is I 0:13:58.559 --> 0:14:01.520 saw this on the help I Suck, a dating Instagram 0:14:01.600 --> 0:14:04.080 page and I saw them answer that question on video, 0:14:04.240 --> 0:14:06.679 and I was like, Oh, that's an interesting question to 0:14:06.760 --> 0:14:08.640 talk about, and I honestly don't think it's something that 0:14:08.720 --> 0:14:13.040 Caitlin and I have ever discussed. Yeah, for me, I 0:14:13.080 --> 0:14:16.160 don't like to think about his past relationships or anything 0:14:16.200 --> 0:14:20.920 prior to our relationship. So it's like that was before me. 0:14:21.040 --> 0:14:24.160 I don't care, I don't need to know kind of thing. Yeah, 0:14:24.200 --> 0:14:27.360 that's a that's a thankfully for me. That's the way 0:14:27.400 --> 0:14:32.040 that she looks at it. Uh. I agree. I think 0:14:32.160 --> 0:14:36.680 that anything that happens before the significant other was in 0:14:36.760 --> 0:14:39.720 the picture, it's kind of like moot and irrelevant, and 0:14:39.880 --> 0:14:42.600 it's like, yeah, you can spend time thinking about it 0:14:42.640 --> 0:14:44.320 and dwelling on it, but you're just gonna make yourself 0:14:44.360 --> 0:14:46.160 angry for literally no reason at all, because it's like, 0:14:46.280 --> 0:14:49.920 what are you supposed to do about someone doing things 0:14:49.960 --> 0:14:52.640 before they ever possibly knew you? And there's funny. It's 0:14:52.640 --> 0:14:56.840 funny too because uh, sometimes this is it doesn't happen 0:14:56.840 --> 0:14:58.960 really much anymore, but a long time ago and we 0:14:58.960 --> 0:15:00.880 first started dating, they were things where I was like 0:15:01.600 --> 0:15:04.600 disappointed about or like just like upset to hear, you 0:15:04.600 --> 0:15:07.840 know what I mean about like Caitlin's dating history. And 0:15:07.880 --> 0:15:09.880 I was like, well, dude, if you were to flip 0:15:09.880 --> 0:15:11.640 it around and put me in the same position that 0:15:11.680 --> 0:15:14.320 I'm putting her in, I would look twenty times worse. 0:15:14.440 --> 0:15:15.600 So like I'm not gonna sit here and be a 0:15:15.680 --> 0:15:19.600 hypocrite and like be upset about something that she might 0:15:19.760 --> 0:15:21.680 or might not have done while I have done the 0:15:21.720 --> 0:15:25.120 same thing, if not worse, ten times over, you know 0:15:25.160 --> 0:15:26.840 what I mean. So it's like, I don't think that 0:15:26.840 --> 0:15:29.400 you should ever really hold your significant other accountable for 0:15:29.440 --> 0:15:31.760 the things that they did before they knew the person 0:15:31.800 --> 0:15:33.560 that they're dating. And I think that kind of that's 0:15:33.600 --> 0:15:36.920 kind of like a unanimous across the board, Like very 0:15:36.960 --> 0:15:39.360 few exceptions I think could really apply to that situation. 0:15:40.760 --> 0:15:42.920 What did what back you had a question or out 0:15:42.920 --> 0:15:45.560 of curiosity? What did Ashley and Jared say to that? 0:15:46.360 --> 0:15:48.280 I think they said no, I think it doesn't matter. 0:15:48.680 --> 0:15:51.800 They actually said that she wanted to know like a 0:15:51.920 --> 0:15:57.880 ball park. Um. And then she brought up how one 0:15:57.920 --> 0:16:03.360 of her friends said that Jared's number was different than 0:16:03.360 --> 0:16:08.840 what Jared shared. Oh no, yes, so that into a 0:16:08.880 --> 0:16:15.040 whole conversation as well. Yeah, but the next question, Um, 0:16:15.280 --> 0:16:18.000 is cheating a deal breaker? And do you believe once 0:16:18.040 --> 0:16:23.760 a cheater always a cheater? Um? Yes, cheating as a 0:16:23.760 --> 0:16:28.120 deal breaker, But no, I think people can cheat, impass 0:16:28.200 --> 0:16:31.000 relationships and learn from that and then not be a cheater. 0:16:31.720 --> 0:16:34.200 Then we've talked about this, Yeah, I mean I've I 0:16:34.360 --> 0:16:37.720 could freaking hope that once a cheater, always a cheater 0:16:37.760 --> 0:16:39.480 can't be true, because if that were the case, then 0:16:39.560 --> 0:16:40.880 I guess I would be able to cheat her for 0:16:40.880 --> 0:16:42.400 the rest of my life, which I don't personally think 0:16:42.400 --> 0:16:47.040 that I am uh personally from personal experience, obviously, it's 0:16:47.040 --> 0:16:49.480 all we can all draw from. It's no secret that 0:16:49.520 --> 0:16:53.440 I've admitted to having cheated on ex girlfriends. I think 0:16:53.920 --> 0:16:58.960 the worst thing for someone that's uh that's been an 0:16:58.960 --> 0:17:01.400 idiot like I have is to like try to lie 0:17:01.440 --> 0:17:04.040 about it or pretend like it never happened. Because if 0:17:04.080 --> 0:17:08.439 you do that, that's proof that you're not learning from 0:17:08.520 --> 0:17:12.600 those mistakes and growing from those mistakes. Uh. And if 0:17:12.640 --> 0:17:15.119 that's the case, then I think that you're destined to 0:17:15.200 --> 0:17:18.360 cheat again. Uh. And that took me a long time 0:17:18.400 --> 0:17:20.119 to figure out too. I would say, up until I 0:17:20.160 --> 0:17:22.960 was like twenty six or twenty seven, I was like, 0:17:23.280 --> 0:17:26.000 so I would deny the fact that I ever, like 0:17:26.040 --> 0:17:28.800 cheated on a girlfriend ever. Uh. And then once I 0:17:28.840 --> 0:17:31.280 was able to like kind of admit that and be honest, 0:17:31.320 --> 0:17:34.719 not only with other people but also with myself. Uh, 0:17:34.840 --> 0:17:36.560 that kind of helped me grow as not only just 0:17:36.600 --> 0:17:39.800 an individual, but also as a partner. And it's funny too, 0:17:39.840 --> 0:17:42.720 because even just the other day, I like sometimes have 0:17:42.800 --> 0:17:46.320 these like I'm sorry language so these stupid dreams. And 0:17:46.359 --> 0:17:48.160 this other day, like I had a dream and I 0:17:48.200 --> 0:17:49.879 was like I woke up and Caitlin and I were 0:17:49.880 --> 0:17:51.919 sitting in the kitchen drinking here coffee and eating cereal 0:17:52.000 --> 0:17:53.879 or whatever. I was like, Calin, like I have to 0:17:53.880 --> 0:17:55.240 tell you something. I had a dream last night that 0:17:55.280 --> 0:17:57.399 it cheated on you, and she goes like so upset, 0:17:57.440 --> 0:17:59.760 like you cheated on me your dream last night, and 0:17:59.800 --> 0:18:02.720 I it will not because it was more like a 0:18:03.000 --> 0:18:04.800 like it was more like inquisitive, like, oh, you cheated 0:18:04.800 --> 0:18:06.200 on your dream last night, And I was like, well, no, 0:18:06.280 --> 0:18:09.040 I didn't cheat on you in my dream. I was 0:18:10.119 --> 0:18:12.080 living my life as I normally would. But in my 0:18:12.160 --> 0:18:14.560 dream I had cheated on you in the past and 0:18:14.640 --> 0:18:16.280 I didn't experience it in the dream. But like I 0:18:16.720 --> 0:18:19.240 it was like this weird situation and she was like, well, 0:18:19.280 --> 0:18:22.680 well you didn't cheat. It's just like weird. But but 0:18:22.800 --> 0:18:26.040 the point is I know that like it might have 0:18:26.080 --> 0:18:29.720 actually caused more damage than not had I shared it. 0:18:30.160 --> 0:18:33.760 But um, I think just being open and honest about 0:18:33.800 --> 0:18:35.560 that type of stuff is the most important thing. So 0:18:35.880 --> 0:18:37.679 once a cheater, I was a cheater in my opinion, 0:18:37.720 --> 0:18:42.080 isn't the case. But cheating also, in my opinion, is 0:18:42.080 --> 0:18:45.040 a deal breaker. Like if I think are either of 0:18:45.080 --> 0:18:47.680 us were to cheat on each other, I don't think 0:18:47.680 --> 0:18:50.959 either of us would really consider giving the other person 0:18:51.640 --> 0:18:57.040 the benefit of the doubt, right, yeah, yeah, even or 0:18:57.080 --> 0:19:00.520 not cheat on me either, I don't. Yeah, I don't know. 0:19:01.600 --> 0:19:03.800 It's so funny too, because as I've gotten older, I'm 0:19:03.800 --> 0:19:07.280 twenty nine now, it's like my priorities have shifted so greatly, 0:19:08.359 --> 0:19:11.439 like back when I I've cheated on two girlfriends in 0:19:11.480 --> 0:19:14.399 my life, and I think it's because back when I 0:19:14.440 --> 0:19:16.480 did those, I think it was nineteen the first time, 0:19:16.520 --> 0:19:19.080 in twenty three the second time, And like my my 0:19:19.400 --> 0:19:21.679 interest in my priorities when I was nineteen and twenty 0:19:21.680 --> 0:19:24.159 three where basically just like party and get drunk and 0:19:24.240 --> 0:19:26.520 hang out with friends. And when those are your interests 0:19:26.520 --> 0:19:28.840 and priorities, it's like, well, obviously you're gonna make stupid 0:19:28.840 --> 0:19:31.840 mistakes because it's like you're living a freaking hollow life 0:19:31.840 --> 0:19:33.720 and you're not like getting any any value out of 0:19:33.720 --> 0:19:36.080 those things. And so um, as a twenty nine year 0:19:36.080 --> 0:19:39.280 old that I am now, I think that my my 0:19:39.359 --> 0:19:43.760 priorities have changed to involve those things quite a bit 0:19:43.840 --> 0:19:47.080 less and that just may becomes the time experience, But 0:19:47.119 --> 0:19:49.320 I don't know, I could be wrong. What do you 0:19:49.320 --> 0:19:51.639 think about the argument that men and women cheat for 0:19:51.720 --> 0:19:54.200 different reasons, and that if men's cheet they're just giving 0:19:54.240 --> 0:19:57.040 into their base instincts, and if women cheat, it's because 0:19:57.040 --> 0:19:59.680 they're not getting what they need out of the relationships. 0:19:59.760 --> 0:20:03.120 So if Dan worded sheet, well he's just scumbag who 0:20:03.200 --> 0:20:06.159 gave in. But if Kalin sheets because she needs something 0:20:06.200 --> 0:20:08.840 from Dean that she's not getting, I know that means 0:20:08.880 --> 0:20:12.240 that either way it's the guy's fault. But I think 0:20:12.280 --> 0:20:15.119 also women cheat for different reasons than men do. I 0:20:15.200 --> 0:20:18.399 think that is fair to say. I mean, my first 0:20:18.440 --> 0:20:20.080 thing to my first response to that is you have 0:20:20.119 --> 0:20:22.199 to still it's an unfortunate double standard that men are 0:20:22.280 --> 0:20:24.840 kind of like, it's a lose lose for us. Either 0:20:24.880 --> 0:20:28.040 we're either the dogs that wanted to do something with 0:20:28.040 --> 0:20:30.439 someone else or were the person that wasn't giving our 0:20:30.480 --> 0:20:32.800 partner what they needed to and so because of that, 0:20:32.960 --> 0:20:36.359 they kind of have a pass to do something else. Um, 0:20:36.440 --> 0:20:40.000 what do you think? I agree? I mean it, yeah, 0:20:40.000 --> 0:20:42.880 it is kind of unfortunate, but that is usually how 0:20:42.920 --> 0:20:46.840 it is, right, Like, a woman doesn't cheat typically. I'm 0:20:46.840 --> 0:20:49.160 not saying, I don't know, but it's kind of sexy. 0:20:49.200 --> 0:20:53.399 I just think I agree. Uh, yeah, I don't know, 0:20:53.440 --> 0:20:55.440 I don't what do you think women are more monogamous 0:20:55.480 --> 0:20:58.359 by nature? Yeah, and we like the idea of love 0:20:58.440 --> 0:21:00.160 and we like to be in love and if our 0:21:00.160 --> 0:21:03.480 partners not giving us that, then I could see someone cheating. 0:21:03.520 --> 0:21:05.960 I guess, I don't know, what do you think, Mark, 0:21:06.880 --> 0:21:08.840 I think that there are women who cheat for the 0:21:08.920 --> 0:21:11.320 same base reasons as a man would cheat. I guess 0:21:11.320 --> 0:21:14.120 it's so a circumstantial but I think in general, if 0:21:14.119 --> 0:21:17.200 there is infidelity in a relationship, it's usually goes back 0:21:17.200 --> 0:21:19.960 to the guy. I would say, if we were to 0:21:20.000 --> 0:21:23.760 go back in history and calculate the cause of infidelity, 0:21:24.240 --> 0:21:26.480 I mean, it's hard to argue that it would probably 0:21:26.480 --> 0:21:28.359 be like in favor of the men that were the 0:21:28.400 --> 0:21:31.000 reason for it, right, I would agree with that, But 0:21:31.840 --> 0:21:34.680 I I think that times were changing. You know, evolution 0:21:34.720 --> 0:21:38.760 is a slow process. Uh. And I want to say 0:21:38.840 --> 0:21:40.480 that there has been a moment in my life where 0:21:40.480 --> 0:21:44.400 I've been cheated on, But again it's it's it's kind 0:21:44.400 --> 0:21:46.480 of looking through it in rose cloded classes where it's like, yeah, 0:21:46.520 --> 0:21:47.880 I think that I was giving everything that I could 0:21:47.920 --> 0:21:49.720 have been giving to the partner, but maybe that they 0:21:49.720 --> 0:21:51.280 thought that you need something else and they went out 0:21:51.280 --> 0:21:53.439 and found it with another guy. I don't know. I 0:21:53.480 --> 0:21:54.840 just think that there are so many variables that can 0:21:54.840 --> 0:21:56.880 come kind of come into play on that case. But 0:21:58.200 --> 0:22:00.440 I do agree that there are like men have these 0:22:00.800 --> 0:22:06.400 uh uh sexual urges that are just I guess maybe 0:22:06.440 --> 0:22:10.240 easier to act on and uh when a woman it 0:22:10.400 --> 0:22:12.679 just it's it's like almost harder to you and like 0:22:12.720 --> 0:22:14.639 say that a woman cheats on a man because I 0:22:14.640 --> 0:22:17.040 guess maybe that's why, because it's like you just don't 0:22:17.080 --> 0:22:19.879 really think about it or hear about it quite as often. 0:22:20.640 --> 0:22:22.600 Something my wife has said to me a number of 0:22:22.640 --> 0:22:25.560 times was she's like, if I found out you had 0:22:25.600 --> 0:22:28.159 sex with somebody else but you didn't like it was 0:22:28.200 --> 0:22:31.280 just sex, I wouldn't care. But if I found out 0:22:31.320 --> 0:22:33.959 you were, like you have like a deep emotional connection 0:22:34.080 --> 0:22:36.040 with somebody and there was no sex, like, that would 0:22:36.040 --> 0:22:39.440 be like devastating to me. And it's yeah, I've always 0:22:39.440 --> 0:22:44.000 thought like this sounds like a trap. Yeah, it's like, yeah, 0:22:44.040 --> 0:22:46.040 it's like it's the character from Star Wars. It's a trap. 0:22:47.760 --> 0:22:50.000 It's so funny too, because one of my really good friends, 0:22:50.000 --> 0:22:52.359 who's a girl, has been in a relationship for a 0:22:52.400 --> 0:22:55.080 long time as well, and she had she said the 0:22:55.080 --> 0:22:57.439 same thing to her boyfriend of like nine years. She 0:22:57.520 --> 0:23:00.600 was like, well, if you want to go out and 0:23:00.640 --> 0:23:04.360 hook up with girls, um purely on like a sexual basis, 0:23:04.480 --> 0:23:07.240 that's fine, But like if you're like texting them and 0:23:07.240 --> 0:23:09.159 talking to them on a regular basis, like investing in 0:23:09.160 --> 0:23:11.919 them emotionally, then that's not okay. And I heard that 0:23:11.920 --> 0:23:14.040 story too, and it's like, I think in our heads 0:23:14.040 --> 0:23:16.359 were so ingrained to think that like any type of cheating, 0:23:16.359 --> 0:23:20.400 whether it's physical or emotional, is uh not cool whatsoever. 0:23:20.480 --> 0:23:24.399 I just think it really boils down to, uh, what 0:23:24.520 --> 0:23:26.920 the partner says is okay and what they're comfortable with, 0:23:26.960 --> 0:23:31.639 because it's like everyone's different. Obviously, every relationship is different. 0:23:31.840 --> 0:23:34.560 I just think that monogamy is obviously such a staple 0:23:34.600 --> 0:23:37.280 of every solid relationship, but that's not the only right 0:23:37.320 --> 0:23:40.359 way to have a relationship whatsoever. I think there's a 0:23:40.440 --> 0:23:43.719 million different ways too. So, uh, that's really interesting that 0:23:43.800 --> 0:23:46.240 your wife said that, Easton. I mean, listen, I kind 0:23:46.280 --> 0:23:48.880 of agree with her, to be honest, but it's it's 0:23:48.880 --> 0:23:50.240 like one of those things where it's like you're almost 0:23:50.240 --> 0:23:51.840 too scared to act on it because and nor nor 0:23:51.920 --> 0:23:53.720 would you ever, Nor would you I'm not saying that 0:23:53.760 --> 0:23:55.800 you would ever, But I think she said it because 0:23:55.800 --> 0:23:57.720 she has confidence that that she's the only woman on 0:23:57.720 --> 0:23:59.720 the plane that would willingly have sex with me. So 0:24:00.040 --> 0:24:02.760 she's like, what did you post on your what did 0:24:02.800 --> 0:24:05.680 you post on your Instagram stories today? Because, uh, you 0:24:05.720 --> 0:24:08.600 look like someone or something like that, and she texted, 0:24:08.640 --> 0:24:10.600 she texted you and said you've never been more attractive 0:24:10.720 --> 0:24:16.560 or something like that. Uh. Tori Spelling from nine o two, 0:24:16.600 --> 0:24:19.000 I know, told me that I looked cute, and she 0:24:19.119 --> 0:24:22.960 posted it and said she felt proud of me. Honestly, 0:24:23.240 --> 0:24:27.320 very impressive. It was a big moment for me. So, 0:24:27.400 --> 0:24:29.639 I mean, let's be honest, she might not be as 0:24:29.680 --> 0:24:33.040 safe as she thinks she is. If Tori Spelling is 0:24:33.080 --> 0:24:35.280 calling you a cute, I don't know. I mean she 0:24:35.320 --> 0:24:39.440 also said I was quite handsome, so to watch out. 0:24:40.920 --> 0:24:42.840 Did she see your your head to tell where you 0:24:42.880 --> 0:24:44.840 wearing crocks at the time or no, you know, actually 0:24:44.840 --> 0:24:47.640 she just saw this exact frame. She said, you said 0:24:47.680 --> 0:24:50.440 you've done something with your beard, and she was happy 0:24:50.480 --> 0:24:53.600 about my haircut. Yeah you shaved well, you shaved it off. 0:24:53.600 --> 0:24:58.480 You've got the sexy five o'clock shadow. Now yeah, I mean, hey, 0:24:58.520 --> 0:25:02.320 I think it's sexy, but thank you. There's two doesn't 0:25:02.359 --> 0:25:07.479 care the same way. It as tory spelling, but still um. Okay, 0:25:07.520 --> 0:25:12.600 So if you two were on dating apps, um, what 0:25:12.720 --> 0:25:18.280 would be your pickuplind for messages someone? Hm? Oh, I 0:25:18.320 --> 0:25:21.760 don't know. You go first. You go first, like you're 0:25:21.800 --> 0:25:25.680 opening a line thank you. This is like the icebreaker line. Yep, 0:25:25.960 --> 0:25:30.160 Like you see someone, you swipe right, they match you, 0:25:30.520 --> 0:25:35.280 and you're like ready to slide in. What's that first visage? Okay? 0:25:35.760 --> 0:25:38.399 If I saw Dean on a dating app, no, not me, 0:25:38.600 --> 0:25:40.800 just like another guy, where was it? If it is 0:25:40.800 --> 0:25:43.359 it we saw each other, it could be whatever, sure 0:25:43.920 --> 0:25:45.359 you saw me? So if I saw you on a 0:25:45.440 --> 0:25:48.400 dating app, and I kind of did this on Instagram, 0:25:48.440 --> 0:25:50.840 I would see his travels and his cool lifestyle, and 0:25:50.840 --> 0:25:53.399 so I would kind of like slide in there and 0:25:53.440 --> 0:25:55.399 relate it back to me somehow, which is what I 0:25:55.440 --> 0:25:59.520 did on Instagram. I was like, Oh, you're traveling to Japan, Singapore, Thailand. 0:25:59.560 --> 0:26:01.639 That's literally lead the trip I just did. And that 0:26:01.840 --> 0:26:04.320 was like my segue into deeming him. Yeah, and it 0:26:04.320 --> 0:26:06.280 didn't work because obviously I blew her off coffee the 0:26:06.280 --> 0:26:10.520 first couple of times. Um. I think my uh, it's 0:26:10.520 --> 0:26:14.120 funny because it's like it actually perfectly applies. Is if 0:26:14.160 --> 0:26:17.000 I were in a dating app, I would a never 0:26:17.080 --> 0:26:21.520 send the first message because jets as an individual that 0:26:21.600 --> 0:26:24.119 used to be on dating apps that was always like 0:26:24.200 --> 0:26:25.720 kind of like my thing. I just would never I 0:26:25.720 --> 0:26:27.720 would never send the first message because I was a boy, 0:26:28.480 --> 0:26:32.520 uh and I would probably be pretty flaky. I would 0:26:32.520 --> 0:26:34.639 be hard to meet up with me, but like we 0:26:34.640 --> 0:26:37.280 could carry on conversations for a while. Dating apps are 0:26:37.320 --> 0:26:40.720 hard because it's like, uh, back when I was on 0:26:40.840 --> 0:26:43.080 dating apps a long long time ago, I was like 0:26:43.840 --> 0:26:46.000 as much fun as I had on the dating apps, 0:26:46.040 --> 0:26:49.399 it was like very difficult for me to like become 0:26:49.440 --> 0:26:51.600 interested enough in someone that I met on a dating 0:26:51.640 --> 0:26:54.760 app to like progress the conversation to move from the 0:26:54.800 --> 0:26:58.000 app to texting to meeting up for a day and 0:26:58.040 --> 0:26:59.720 then carrying it on from there. So there's like so 0:26:59.760 --> 0:27:03.520 many great filters that were along the way that uh, 0:27:03.560 --> 0:27:06.280 they were kind of more of just like like a 0:27:06.359 --> 0:27:09.200 time killer, you know what I mean, Like your board, 0:27:09.560 --> 0:27:11.400 You're sitting on the toilet and you're just like trying 0:27:11.440 --> 0:27:13.679 to kill some time and Fantasy football is not going on, 0:27:13.840 --> 0:27:15.919 and so I would just like jump on bumble. So 0:27:16.720 --> 0:27:21.360 uh yeah, not the not not maybe not the best practice. 0:27:21.440 --> 0:27:23.280 But so you wouldn't have a pickup line. You just 0:27:24.119 --> 0:27:26.960 no pickup lines. I think that I would maybe, like 0:27:27.080 --> 0:27:29.200 once or twice I would drop some like stupid cheesy 0:27:29.280 --> 0:27:34.840 dad jokes, but nothing, nothing substantial. This listener asked, if 0:27:34.880 --> 0:27:38.480 a guy goes you after four dates but then comes 0:27:38.560 --> 0:27:44.320 back three months later, is he actually interested. No, definitely 0:27:44.320 --> 0:27:49.200 not go for it. I mean, especially if it's now 0:27:49.600 --> 0:27:51.760 and it's COVID He's like, oh shoot, I'm coming back 0:27:51.800 --> 0:27:54.959 because I'm bored. But yeah, if he goes did you 0:27:55.000 --> 0:27:58.080 after four dates, he clearly wasn't interested and now he's 0:27:58.080 --> 0:28:03.680 coming back just because of boredom, I would say, um, yeah, 0:28:03.840 --> 0:28:09.880 I would say that's very very true. I Uh. It's like, look, 0:28:09.920 --> 0:28:11.399 if someone wants you in their life, they're going to 0:28:11.480 --> 0:28:14.040 make time for you. And obviously this person didn't make 0:28:14.040 --> 0:28:17.480 time for you for three months and something changed drastically. 0:28:17.480 --> 0:28:19.760 It's not like he's like it's not like there was 0:28:19.800 --> 0:28:24.520 like some unspoken bond that like drew him back to you. 0:28:24.640 --> 0:28:27.600 It was he probably finished whatever he was doing that 0:28:27.720 --> 0:28:29.120 kind of kept him from me in the first place, 0:28:29.119 --> 0:28:31.000 and it was like going back and retracing his steps 0:28:31.040 --> 0:28:34.159 and seeing what like low hanging fruit he has available 0:28:34.160 --> 0:28:36.560 to him. Uh, And so I would not put any 0:28:36.600 --> 0:28:41.240 stock whatsoever into that because it sounds troublesome, to say 0:28:41.280 --> 0:28:46.760 the least. Okay, trying to spice it up. Yeah, spice 0:28:46.800 --> 0:28:50.200 it up for us. Back, where's the most wild place 0:28:50.240 --> 0:28:53.760 you've had sex? WHOA, that's too much spice? Is your 0:28:53.840 --> 0:29:02.680 dad's going the room? That is too much spice. Let's 0:29:02.680 --> 0:29:09.240 talk more about the Mario back to yeah, yeah, yeah, 0:29:09.360 --> 0:29:11.360 we're gonna plead the fifth I think on the wildest 0:29:11.360 --> 0:29:14.480 place we've had sex with each other. I would think 0:29:14.480 --> 0:29:17.760 I would rather um us talk about the wildest place 0:29:17.800 --> 0:29:20.080 we've had sex then the wildest place either of us 0:29:20.080 --> 0:29:22.120 had sex with someone else. So we're gonna go ahead, 0:29:22.120 --> 0:29:23.480 and if we plead the fifth on the first one, 0:29:23.520 --> 0:29:27.840 we're gonna plead theft on the second one. Is that 0:29:28.160 --> 0:29:31.440 is that a fair answer? Well? So much? First up, 0:29:33.320 --> 0:29:35.520 we can assume that you've done it in a car, 0:29:35.640 --> 0:29:39.680 right or a van? Uh? Well, I mean listen, okay, Well, 0:29:39.720 --> 0:29:43.160 we're gonna slowly creep ourselves into this conversation. I mean 0:29:43.480 --> 0:29:46.400 we're boiling the frog here, you know, for hey, for 0:29:46.440 --> 0:29:48.240 all we know, and for all we want you guys 0:29:48.320 --> 0:29:50.640 to know her and I have never Caitlin and I 0:29:50.640 --> 0:29:53.920 have never even had sex. So we're gonna go ahead 0:29:53.880 --> 0:29:58.280 and keep that uh fifth pleading, uh turn all the 0:29:58.280 --> 0:30:00.640 way up. So yeah, sorry, next question, Sorry, Becky, what 0:30:00.680 --> 0:30:04.640 else you got for us? Okay? Um, is it a 0:30:04.680 --> 0:30:09.280 red flag if someone says they love you after week two? Well, 0:30:09.440 --> 0:30:12.560 let's go ahead and ask me that question, because shut 0:30:12.680 --> 0:30:19.960 up a week one and a half. What do you think, um, 0:30:20.280 --> 0:30:26.160 kind of yeah, I mean after two weeks. Yeah, I'm 0:30:26.200 --> 0:30:30.480 not a big fan of like, yeah, okay. So Dean 0:30:31.160 --> 0:30:33.200 we talked about this like a couple of weeks ago. 0:30:33.840 --> 0:30:35.200 He was like, when you know you love me, just 0:30:35.280 --> 0:30:39.640 wait a couple months just to make sure. And so 0:30:39.760 --> 0:30:43.200 I didn't tell them until like six months in eight months, 0:30:43.200 --> 0:30:45.840 in yeah, I think you should wait. I think there's 0:30:45.840 --> 0:30:49.920 no reason to rush. That's like saying that. I think 0:30:50.440 --> 0:30:54.800 I think two weeks is way too premature, especially in 0:30:54.840 --> 0:30:57.680 today's day and night. It's it's it's it's such an 0:30:57.680 --> 0:31:01.040 always so interesting to answer these questions because I guarantee, 0:31:01.080 --> 0:31:02.840 like Marker Reason are going to come back and be like, well, 0:31:02.880 --> 0:31:04.800 I told my wife I loved her after the first date, 0:31:04.840 --> 0:31:07.920 and we've been married for nineteen years. So yes, So 0:31:08.080 --> 0:31:10.200 obviously this all goes with the grain of salt. Uh. 0:31:10.320 --> 0:31:14.200 In my opinion and in my experience, whenever I have 0:31:14.400 --> 0:31:18.360 felt those feelings and then expressed those feelings early on, 0:31:18.520 --> 0:31:22.760 within two weeks to four weeks to eight weeks, whatever is, 0:31:22.880 --> 0:31:24.360 I didn't know what the heck I was saying. I was. 0:31:24.440 --> 0:31:28.760 I was basically speaking based purely on like the situation 0:31:29.400 --> 0:31:33.080 and like the environment. And then when I removed myself 0:31:33.120 --> 0:31:36.720 from that environment, I realized how like stupid I was. 0:31:36.880 --> 0:31:39.320 And so I think it's like a very impulsive thing 0:31:39.360 --> 0:31:41.200 to say. I think it's a very like emotional thing 0:31:41.240 --> 0:31:45.720 to say, obviously, But I think two weeks is far 0:31:46.040 --> 0:31:47.600 too soon, because it's like, what the heck are you 0:31:47.600 --> 0:31:49.360 supposed to know about someone in two weeks? You don't 0:31:49.360 --> 0:31:52.720 really know anyone in two weeks, right, What do you 0:31:52.720 --> 0:31:55.200 guys think? Mark Easton? How long did it take you 0:31:55.280 --> 0:31:57.680 guys to say you love your wives? I would say 0:31:57.680 --> 0:31:59.600 a couple of months. And I think if you steal 0:31:59.680 --> 0:32:01.440 that in the first two weeks, I think it's fine. 0:32:01.520 --> 0:32:03.440 Your emotions aren't wrong, but I think you want to 0:32:03.440 --> 0:32:05.200 give it a little bit a little bit, just because 0:32:05.200 --> 0:32:07.040 you're either going to scare them away or you're going 0:32:07.120 --> 0:32:09.280 to regret it because maybe you were feeling what you 0:32:09.280 --> 0:32:13.360 thought you were feeling. Okay, it's fair Eastern. I mean, yeah, 0:32:13.360 --> 0:32:17.200 I think mine was like six months. I don't I 0:32:17.200 --> 0:32:19.920 don't remember. But but you guys had more of an 0:32:19.960 --> 0:32:22.960 interesting genesis because you guys were friends for a long time, 0:32:23.080 --> 0:32:25.040 very long time. Yes, and when when we said it, 0:32:25.040 --> 0:32:27.479 it was very casual and it was just like like 0:32:27.520 --> 0:32:29.320 we didn't realize we even said it. It It was just 0:32:29.360 --> 0:32:33.480 like because almost by accident. But but I also think 0:32:33.480 --> 0:32:36.080 that if you wait, if like you hit month three 0:32:36.440 --> 0:32:38.240 and then you just say it, I think it would 0:32:38.280 --> 0:32:41.000 feel very insincere that like you were waiting for a 0:32:41.000 --> 0:32:43.920 specific like a very specific date, like I'm waiting for 0:32:43.960 --> 0:32:46.160 this much time to pass to say it. So it's 0:32:46.160 --> 0:32:49.840 all about how Yeah, that's very fair. I think I've 0:32:49.840 --> 0:32:53.520 been pressured in the past two uh say that because 0:32:53.640 --> 0:32:55.400 I felt like it was the right time to say 0:32:55.520 --> 0:32:58.239 and then looking back later on, I like regretted saying it, 0:32:58.320 --> 0:33:00.720 just because I felt like this was like this is 0:33:00.760 --> 0:33:02.680 like a testament to the time that we spent together. 0:33:02.760 --> 0:33:05.240 But in reality, it wasn't it was. It was more 0:33:05.240 --> 0:33:07.320 of like a time allotment rather than a feeling, and 0:33:07.400 --> 0:33:10.680 I regretted it later on. Um becky, question for you, 0:33:10.720 --> 0:33:12.440 and you can just say yes or no to this 0:33:12.840 --> 0:33:17.360 is have have have you ever said that to anyone 0:33:17.400 --> 0:33:22.520 that you've been dating in recent time? No? Okay, cool? 0:33:22.840 --> 0:33:27.040 Next question, I have updates next time for you and 0:33:28.720 --> 0:33:34.040 think when your father is not sitting right next to you. Um, Dean, 0:33:34.160 --> 0:33:37.040 you've been playing, uh tennis? Do you think that's a 0:33:37.080 --> 0:33:41.680 good first date? During COVID have you guys done that together? Well, 0:33:41.720 --> 0:33:43.720 for the record, I have not been playing tennis. I 0:33:43.800 --> 0:33:46.080 have played tennis, but Kaylin is the tennis player in 0:33:46.080 --> 0:33:50.720 the relationship. The reason I've played tennis is because of her. H. 0:33:51.240 --> 0:33:53.600 I think it's a great first date. I think especially 0:33:53.680 --> 0:33:55.920 during the COVID era that we're in now, it's like, 0:33:55.960 --> 0:33:57.800 you guys, are you know what forty I don't know. 0:33:57.800 --> 0:33:59.520 How about the tennis court is? You know, I would 0:33:59.560 --> 0:34:02.640 say forty feed apart from each other? Uh, you gotta 0:34:02.680 --> 0:34:05.600 like you're still like within conversation distance, like you're not yelling, 0:34:05.640 --> 0:34:09.000 you can still talk. You get to see like, uh, 0:34:09.200 --> 0:34:10.640 this is gonna sound kind of weird, but you kind 0:34:10.640 --> 0:34:13.240 of get to see how the other person sweats, which 0:34:13.480 --> 0:34:15.160 which is a weird thing to say, but it's like 0:34:15.160 --> 0:34:18.400 a kind of dictates a lot about how they're going 0:34:18.440 --> 0:34:21.200 to be as a person. You gotta see how competitive 0:34:21.239 --> 0:34:23.279 they are and like how angry they get when they 0:34:23.320 --> 0:34:26.239 lose or when or whatever it is. So I think 0:34:26.239 --> 0:34:28.040 it's a great first day. It's nothing, It's something that 0:34:28.080 --> 0:34:30.960 I never would have really considered being a first day 0:34:31.080 --> 0:34:34.080 up until Kaitlin and I had just started playing. But 0:34:34.680 --> 0:34:37.800 I think it be pretty It's a pretty smart, safe 0:34:37.920 --> 0:34:40.120 first date to take. What do you think? Yeah, it's 0:34:40.120 --> 0:34:43.239 pretty fun. Um, I go almost every day and my 0:34:43.320 --> 0:34:45.759 friend Tory and I that I go with. She we 0:34:45.800 --> 0:34:48.640 actually watched someone go on their first date like two 0:34:48.719 --> 0:34:51.120 days ago and then it ended up like they weren't 0:34:51.120 --> 0:34:53.160 into each other, but they're both real estate agents, so 0:34:53.160 --> 0:34:57.359 they were able to connect job wise. Um, but it 0:34:57.440 --> 0:34:59.439 was interesting to kind of watch their dynamic and see 0:34:59.440 --> 0:35:01.520 how it went. But I think it'd be a good date. 0:35:03.000 --> 0:35:07.319 I think, um, well, it's funny too. It's because she's 0:35:07.360 --> 0:35:09.080 been playing a lot of tennis and I've been playing 0:35:09.120 --> 0:35:10.759 a lot of golf, and we've just kind of turned 0:35:10.800 --> 0:35:14.319 it like this stupid little country club couple as of late. 0:35:14.960 --> 0:35:18.160 Uh yeah, tennis, golf, anything that kind of like gets 0:35:18.160 --> 0:35:20.000 you out, gets you active. I think it is always 0:35:20.000 --> 0:35:22.040 a good first date. But yeah, tennis, especially because, like 0:35:22.080 --> 0:35:25.880 we said, it's like COVID safe, it's very easy to access. 0:35:26.000 --> 0:35:27.799 All you need is a racket and tennis ball and 0:35:27.880 --> 0:35:30.680 basically all the tennis courts are free, so it's like 0:35:30.680 --> 0:35:35.520 why not. Yeah, hey, then this one is for you. Um, 0:35:35.719 --> 0:35:38.399 last time we had you on, you said Connor didn't 0:35:38.400 --> 0:35:46.680 really have a chance with you. Um, can you elaborate? Yes? Um. 0:35:46.840 --> 0:35:49.320 Dean and I like we had a very strong connection 0:35:49.680 --> 0:35:53.120 we had. There was like so much passion we could 0:35:53.160 --> 0:35:59.520 connect and Um he left and I was like I 0:35:59.560 --> 0:36:02.000 was waiting for Connor to come down, but it wasn't 0:36:02.080 --> 0:36:04.120 what I expected it to be. And also the relationship 0:36:04.160 --> 0:36:06.239 Dina and I had wasn't what I expected it to be. 0:36:06.239 --> 0:36:08.120 I thought it was gonna be fun and casual and 0:36:08.160 --> 0:36:11.399 then we actually had something. Um. So of course when 0:36:11.400 --> 0:36:14.080 Deane came down, I was like, I'm going to pick 0:36:14.280 --> 0:36:17.000 the guy in the relationship that I really think that 0:36:17.040 --> 0:36:19.320 there's a future here. Even though it was like terrifying 0:36:19.320 --> 0:36:21.560 and scary, and I was like, he could dumped me 0:36:21.600 --> 0:36:23.640 in two days and realize, like this isn't right, But 0:36:24.000 --> 0:36:26.200 I just it just made more sense. And I just 0:36:26.200 --> 0:36:28.239 want to say something real quick, and I'm probably gonna 0:36:28.239 --> 0:36:33.000 get trouble and trouble for this, But one of the 0:36:33.040 --> 0:36:37.200 reasons that Calin was so interested in Connor is because 0:36:37.239 --> 0:36:39.879 a friend of hers told her how great they would 0:36:39.880 --> 0:36:42.680 be as a couple and how excited they would be 0:36:42.719 --> 0:36:46.680 to go on double dates with them, right, And so 0:36:46.760 --> 0:36:48.239 like you get this thing and grained your head where 0:36:48.239 --> 0:36:49.680 it's like, oh, one of your good friends is dating 0:36:49.719 --> 0:36:51.719 a guy who has vouched for this guy who he's 0:36:51.760 --> 0:36:53.120 never met, but he thinks he's a good guy. And 0:36:53.160 --> 0:36:54.719 I'm not saying that he's Connor is not a good guy, 0:36:54.719 --> 0:36:57.799 because I think he absolutely is. But I think that 0:36:57.840 --> 0:36:59.640 one of the reasons that you got so excited to 0:36:59.680 --> 0:37:01.920 meet Honor And again, correct me if I'm wrong, but 0:37:01.960 --> 0:37:03.480 I think one of the reasons you were so excited 0:37:03.560 --> 0:37:06.759 is because you let your friends build him up in 0:37:06.760 --> 0:37:09.000 your head. Haven't They didn't know him, They had like 0:37:09.040 --> 0:37:11.279 a perception of him, and then you kind of like 0:37:11.440 --> 0:37:13.399 in your head were like, Wow, this guy is great 0:37:13.480 --> 0:37:16.279 based off of absolutely nothing. No, absolutely, And it was 0:37:16.360 --> 0:37:19.799 like them building it up for months and kept telling me, oh, 0:37:19.880 --> 0:37:22.160 the producers are like waiting to match you up, or 0:37:22.160 --> 0:37:23.759 the producers think you guys are gonna be so great, 0:37:23.800 --> 0:37:25.400 and I think you guys are gonna be so great, 0:37:25.480 --> 0:37:27.719 and it was like, you guys haven't met them. I haven't. 0:37:27.760 --> 0:37:30.920 I haven't met him, and yeah, it just wasn't. It 0:37:30.960 --> 0:37:32.880 was like built up to be this like fairy tale 0:37:33.080 --> 0:37:35.319 romantic thing and it just wasn't that. It was that 0:37:35.360 --> 0:37:38.440 with Dean, which I wasn't expecting, especially since I jammed 0:37:38.520 --> 0:37:41.880 him and we tried that and yeah, and for the record, 0:37:41.920 --> 0:37:44.799 we both like Connor. I think that guy. It's just 0:37:44.840 --> 0:37:49.200 like he's not my person. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah exactly. 0:37:49.840 --> 0:37:52.160 But yeah she Connor never said a chance. I'm sorry, 0:37:52.160 --> 0:37:54.840 but like you remember, remember Christina, It's like, come on, 0:37:54.960 --> 0:37:57.279 you have you ever met Dean before? Obviously not if 0:37:57.280 --> 0:38:10.200 you think you still have a chance in this situation. Okay, 0:38:10.239 --> 0:38:12.720 So we'll just go through a couple of headlines. Hannah 0:38:12.800 --> 0:38:16.720 Brown has announced that she's on a dating app and 0:38:17.360 --> 0:38:21.160 she wants someone that has their crap together. What does 0:38:21.160 --> 0:38:24.200 it mean to have their crap together. I would say 0:38:24.239 --> 0:38:31.360 to have over a million Instagram followers. Oh sorry, Oh, 0:38:31.400 --> 0:38:36.520 I mean she dated or was engaged to Jed. So yeah, 0:38:36.600 --> 0:38:39.719 someone who's not him, I think. Okay, here's my take 0:38:39.760 --> 0:38:43.319 on having your crap together. I think anyone that's looking 0:38:43.320 --> 0:38:46.200 for someone to have their crap together, it's a prerequisite 0:38:46.239 --> 0:38:48.479 to set yourself up for failure because having your crap 0:38:48.520 --> 0:38:51.560 together is not a personality trait. It's not a reason 0:38:51.680 --> 0:38:53.719 for someone to like someone else. Like, if you like 0:38:53.840 --> 0:38:57.120 someone solely because they have their crap together, then your 0:38:57.160 --> 0:39:01.439 interests are so misaligned. It's like, she what she needs 0:39:01.480 --> 0:39:03.800 to find and again, I don't I know, I've met Hannah. 0:39:03.800 --> 0:39:05.279 I don't know her very well. What she needs to 0:39:05.320 --> 0:39:07.440 find is just someone that she can enjoy living. Like, 0:39:08.280 --> 0:39:10.560 Hannah is gonna be fine whether she's by herself or 0:39:10.560 --> 0:39:12.959 whether she's with someone, She's gonna be fine. Obviously, she's 0:39:13.000 --> 0:39:16.440 got like this great star potential she is. She is, 0:39:16.520 --> 0:39:19.160 she's the former Bachelorette, Dancing with the Stars champion, like 0:39:19.200 --> 0:39:21.640 all these things, Like, she doesn't necessarily need to find 0:39:21.719 --> 0:39:24.200 someone with their crap together. She needs to find someone 0:39:24.239 --> 0:39:27.279 that she like enjoys spending her time with because that's 0:39:27.320 --> 0:39:29.160 what she's going to be doing for the next sixty years. 0:39:29.160 --> 0:39:32.560 So I think finding someone with their crap, I don't 0:39:32.560 --> 0:39:35.479 have my crap together. Minecrap is so minecrap is so 0:39:35.520 --> 0:39:39.080 far torn apart, like it's the worst crap ever. That's 0:39:39.239 --> 0:39:41.920 that's like the most dire, real piece of crap you 0:39:41.920 --> 0:39:45.040 could ever possibly find. But like we still like maybe 0:39:45.080 --> 0:39:46.760 if you talk to Kalen two years ago, she probably 0:39:46.800 --> 0:39:48.600 would say she wants someone with the crap together, But 0:39:48.719 --> 0:39:50.759 it turns out it took someone that didn't have their 0:39:50.760 --> 0:39:54.400 crap together to really, like say, to to make the 0:39:54.440 --> 0:39:57.839 relationship work. So I I hate hearing that because it's 0:39:57.880 --> 0:40:01.759 not that's such a poor prerequisite to a relationship. No, 0:40:01.840 --> 0:40:03.920 I agree. And when you're saying that, I was thinking, 0:40:04.600 --> 0:40:07.319 like what I was looking for to three years ago 0:40:08.080 --> 0:40:10.880 was like what you think of in the South, you know, 0:40:10.960 --> 0:40:13.520 the typical Southern relationship, which might be what she's still 0:40:13.560 --> 0:40:15.959 looking for. And then I found Dean and I was like, wait, 0:40:16.000 --> 0:40:19.319 I'm not meant for this like cookie cutter business like 0:40:19.440 --> 0:40:23.320 dating married to a business guy, and it's just so different. 0:40:23.840 --> 0:40:25.799 And I feel like when she says crap together. That's 0:40:25.840 --> 0:40:28.200 kind of what she means, is like kind of what 0:40:28.320 --> 0:40:31.440 we from the South always thought we would have. Which 0:40:33.320 --> 0:40:35.360 And for the record, sidebar, I do have a business 0:40:35.360 --> 0:40:38.759 degree from an accredited four year university, so you know, 0:40:38.760 --> 0:40:41.400 there's always the fallback potential there. It's for me to 0:40:41.400 --> 0:40:44.000 get my crap together. But once the tube gets out 0:40:44.040 --> 0:40:45.520 of the toothpaste, it's a little bit harder to put 0:40:45.680 --> 0:40:47.200 to toothpaste gets out of two, it's a little hard 0:40:47.200 --> 0:40:48.640 to get put back in. So I get where she's 0:40:48.680 --> 0:40:52.520 coming from leaving the bachelorette, because the bachelorette you deal 0:40:52.560 --> 0:40:56.799 with these guys and other jobs are former football player, logger, 0:40:57.080 --> 0:40:59.279 you know, stuff like this. And I think that she 0:40:59.400 --> 0:41:04.279 wants to me having their stuff together is having a 0:41:04.400 --> 0:41:08.879 job and having a place to live without roommates. That's 0:41:08.920 --> 0:41:11.879 how I would say it. Personally. I agree with you, Dean. 0:41:11.960 --> 0:41:13.920 Do you do not have your stuff together? And still 0:41:14.280 --> 0:41:17.600 you have found of someone and that's fantastic, But I 0:41:17.600 --> 0:41:20.600 don't think you would fall up. But here I Mark, 0:41:20.640 --> 0:41:22.600 I appreciate you weighing in, and I'm going to retort 0:41:22.600 --> 0:41:25.200 it real quick. Uh, I don't think she wants someone 0:41:25.200 --> 0:41:28.080 with a job, because if I was dating someone with 0:41:28.120 --> 0:41:32.000 a job, I would agree. I'm different because I would 0:41:32.040 --> 0:41:34.160 actually like that because I would get forty to sixty 0:41:34.160 --> 0:41:37.480 hours a week by myself. But I think I think 0:41:37.520 --> 0:41:39.520 if Kaylin was dating someone with the job, she wouldn't 0:41:39.520 --> 0:41:43.359 like it because we like spending time together because both 0:41:43.360 --> 0:41:45.160 of us have the freedom of not having to be 0:41:45.160 --> 0:41:46.719 in an office from nine in the morning to five 0:41:46.719 --> 0:41:50.760 in the afternoon. I don't necessarily think Hannah would thrive. Again, 0:41:50.880 --> 0:41:52.439 not knowing much about her, I don't think she would 0:41:52.480 --> 0:41:54.360 thrive with someone that has like the nine to five, 0:41:54.920 --> 0:41:57.640 you know, business financial advisor type job sort of thing, 0:41:57.640 --> 0:42:01.680 because she, in my un informed opinion, she would want 0:42:01.680 --> 0:42:03.560 to be spending time with this person. She would want 0:42:03.560 --> 0:42:06.000 to have the ability to go places and do these things. 0:42:06.320 --> 0:42:08.520 But you can't do that with someone that quote unquote 0:42:08.520 --> 0:42:12.040 has her together. I don't know, maybe, but I think 0:42:12.040 --> 0:42:14.800 we're also projecting our relationship and things that think everyone 0:42:14.840 --> 0:42:17.560 wants what we have, which I don't think everyone wants 0:42:17.600 --> 0:42:20.160 what we have. I mean, yes, we're definitely projecting here. 0:42:20.880 --> 0:42:25.040 But I guess my point is it's like I think 0:42:25.080 --> 0:42:27.120 that maybe she's saying that because she thinks that's what 0:42:27.239 --> 0:42:28.840 that's kind of like what you said. She thinks she 0:42:28.880 --> 0:42:30.640 said she thinks she needs to say that, so she's 0:42:30.680 --> 0:42:33.359 saying it. But I wouldn't be surprised if we see 0:42:33.360 --> 0:42:36.160 Hannah in a relationship down the line with someone like 0:42:36.280 --> 0:42:41.040 more in like the Hollywood scene that's not singer. I 0:42:41.040 --> 0:42:44.279 could travel within. I could see her being with like 0:42:44.280 --> 0:42:51.640 like the star of a television show. Yeah, that's still together, 0:42:51.680 --> 0:42:55.919 I suppose, But I think I don't know what do Yeah? Yeah, 0:42:56.280 --> 0:43:04.960 podcast host? Uh yeah, blogger, sure why not? I don't know, 0:43:05.160 --> 0:43:08.040 but um, but yeah, that's our take on it. I guess. Okay, 0:43:08.120 --> 0:43:13.560 So Derek Peth is thirty three and engaged to Saffron Vader, 0:43:14.000 --> 0:43:17.319 who is twenty three after one year of dating. What 0:43:17.360 --> 0:43:21.520 are your bo Derek is engaged to a girl named 0:43:21.520 --> 0:43:25.640 Saffron after a year of dating. Huh. I saw this 0:43:25.760 --> 0:43:30.919 the other day, and um, I don't really have any 0:43:30.920 --> 0:43:36.360 thoughts on it. Derek seems like a nice guy. He Uh, 0:43:36.400 --> 0:43:40.080 it's he obviously kind of jumped the gun before get 0:43:40.120 --> 0:43:43.440 engaged to Taylor pretty early on in their relationship that 0:43:43.480 --> 0:43:46.480 obviously did not work out. Uh. You never want to 0:43:46.480 --> 0:43:49.080 say like someone's got a history of getting engaged prematurely. 0:43:50.560 --> 0:43:53.400 The age difference probably is a little like concerning to 0:43:53.400 --> 0:43:58.440 a lot of people, but like, who the heck knows Um. 0:43:58.560 --> 0:44:00.880 I think whenever you see like one of of whenever 0:44:00.960 --> 0:44:04.040 I see one of my peers from the show, especially 0:44:04.120 --> 0:44:07.080 get engaged with someone, like the first instinct is always like, oh, 0:44:07.080 --> 0:44:10.040 you're so happy for them, It's fantastic. You never like 0:44:10.239 --> 0:44:12.399 wish ill will upon anyone. And I think, I don't 0:44:12.400 --> 0:44:14.200 think this case is any different. Like obviously I hope 0:44:14.239 --> 0:44:19.280 Derek and his fiancee Um are able to make it work, 0:44:19.360 --> 0:44:22.160 but it's just such a it's such an interesting time 0:44:22.840 --> 0:44:25.040 where it's like you see all these engagements, see all 0:44:25.040 --> 0:44:30.560 these relationships, they get publicized so quickly, they progress so quickly, 0:44:30.800 --> 0:44:34.600 and then they implode so quickly. And I don't think 0:44:34.640 --> 0:44:36.880 that's going to happen with Derek. I hope it doesn't happen, 0:44:38.040 --> 0:44:40.800 but it's just like kind of unfortunate for everyone involved 0:44:40.800 --> 0:44:43.359 that like the expectation for it is to happen, and 0:44:43.400 --> 0:44:46.440 like if it doesn't happen, then everyone is like surprised, 0:44:46.600 --> 0:44:49.640 like pleasantly surprised. So I hope that we are all 0:44:49.719 --> 0:44:52.520 pleasantly surprised, and I hope that they make it the distance. 0:44:52.880 --> 0:44:56.160 I I still don't know. I'd have never met her. 0:44:56.320 --> 0:45:00.439 I haven't talked to Derek since Paradise. So that's that's 0:45:00.480 --> 0:45:03.799 my ft overview of the whole situation. What do you 0:45:03.840 --> 0:45:08.600 think I mean? Yeah, when you said it's weird people 0:45:08.719 --> 0:45:11.600 dating in right now, it's kind of like The Bachelor, 0:45:11.680 --> 0:45:14.359 but for a much longer period of time where you're 0:45:14.520 --> 0:45:17.160 living with this person. You're stuck with this person where 0:45:17.160 --> 0:45:19.839 you wouldn't be normally because you're likely working from home 0:45:19.920 --> 0:45:22.440 and you've just got way more time. So maybe because 0:45:22.440 --> 0:45:25.560 of that that's why. But also on the flip side 0:45:25.600 --> 0:45:28.000 of that, like, yes, there's a there's a pro side 0:45:28.000 --> 0:45:31.360 to that, like positive, but there's also a big negative 0:45:31.600 --> 0:45:34.920 side too. Let's say you start dating someone in February, 0:45:35.040 --> 0:45:38.080 like at the height, at the beginning of COVID lockdowns, etcetera. 0:45:38.360 --> 0:45:43.440 It's like the only the only, um uh, the only 0:45:43.520 --> 0:45:46.480 dimension that you know this person in is through like 0:45:46.560 --> 0:45:49.440 the lens of working from home for the past seven 0:45:49.440 --> 0:45:52.120 months and spending all this time together. But when things 0:45:52.120 --> 0:45:54.040 like get back to normal and restore and like let's 0:45:54.040 --> 0:45:56.920 say Saffron has to choose an international model. Let's say 0:45:56.920 --> 0:45:58.279 she has to go to London for a shoot for 0:45:58.320 --> 0:46:00.879 two months, and they can't spend every waking moment together, 0:46:01.000 --> 0:46:03.719 Like maybe things will start to deteriorate from there. I 0:46:03.719 --> 0:46:06.279 guess my point is is, yes, there are like many 0:46:06.320 --> 0:46:11.000 there's many positive takeaways from like this, uh this lockdown 0:46:11.280 --> 0:46:13.839 and this like shelter in place type stuff, but there's 0:46:13.920 --> 0:46:17.319 also a lot of uh cliffhangers and questions still to 0:46:17.320 --> 0:46:19.400 be answered, because it's like normalcy is going to be 0:46:19.440 --> 0:46:21.279 restored at some point, whether it's next year or the 0:46:21.360 --> 0:46:24.640 year after or whatever. And then when that happens, then 0:46:24.640 --> 0:46:26.719 what are you gonna do? Because they go back to 0:46:26.760 --> 0:46:28.440 doing what they need to do survive. You go back 0:46:28.440 --> 0:46:30.000 to doing what you need to do survive, and that's 0:46:30.120 --> 0:46:32.319 very different than what you've been doing that's proven to 0:46:32.320 --> 0:46:35.799 be successful, but will it be successful moving forward. It's 0:46:35.880 --> 0:46:38.719 kind of like um, quarantine puppies, like they don't know 0:46:38.760 --> 0:46:42.520 how to socialize, and not to compare relationships to that, 0:46:42.600 --> 0:46:45.960 but like you go back to normal and suddenly your 0:46:46.000 --> 0:46:49.440 dog doesn't know how to socialize, and then in relationships 0:46:49.480 --> 0:46:52.719 quarantine relationships, suddenly you're doing things and hanging out with 0:46:52.719 --> 0:46:55.879 your friend and you're not with the seven and there's 0:46:55.880 --> 0:46:58.759 a lot of codependency that has been developed and might 0:46:58.840 --> 0:47:03.640 not be great. Codependency is huge, and I always try 0:47:03.719 --> 0:47:06.640 to pull away from the codependency. I hate codependency. I 0:47:06.680 --> 0:47:09.560 think it's one of the worst things you could ever 0:47:09.680 --> 0:47:17.040 possibly get into. Uh And and so in our situation, obviously, 0:47:17.080 --> 0:47:19.359 we've been fortunate in the sense that we started dating 0:47:19.719 --> 0:47:22.080 what middle of twenty nineteen, so we had I would 0:47:22.120 --> 0:47:24.239 say eight months of dating. Well, we had like six 0:47:24.280 --> 0:47:26.680 months of dating. I broke my leg and then we 0:47:26.719 --> 0:47:29.279 had two months and then COVID hits and then it's 0:47:29.320 --> 0:47:31.480 been eight months from there, so whatever. So we've kind 0:47:31.480 --> 0:47:35.640 of us to have gone through a lot of things. Um, 0:47:35.719 --> 0:47:39.280 but I do think that there are still times where 0:47:39.880 --> 0:47:43.520 you and I, Kalen and I are like, Okay, we're 0:47:43.520 --> 0:47:47.440 gonna like not like pull back, but like we've spent 0:47:47.520 --> 0:47:49.399 too much time together. So I'm going to go away 0:47:49.400 --> 0:47:50.640 for a weekend. I'm going to do this for a 0:47:50.640 --> 0:47:51.920 week and then I'll see you when I get back 0:47:51.960 --> 0:47:53.719 type of thing. And I think that's healthy because that's 0:47:53.760 --> 0:47:56.480 kind of more that's like more realistic as to what 0:47:56.560 --> 0:47:58.279 normal life is going to be like rather than just 0:47:58.320 --> 0:48:01.640 being cooped up like and in our situation too. And 0:48:01.640 --> 0:48:06.600 I'm sorry all these tangential things. Um, if I was, 0:48:07.000 --> 0:48:09.440 let's say, the past eight months were taken as a 0:48:09.480 --> 0:48:14.280 sample for Dean Unglert's life, uh within you know, COVID 0:48:14.440 --> 0:48:16.879 and quarantine and all these things, I would look so 0:48:16.880 --> 0:48:19.520 so bad because all I've done for the past eight 0:48:19.520 --> 0:48:21.560 months is sit on my butt and play Call of 0:48:21.640 --> 0:48:25.840 Duty and play golf four times a week. And uh, 0:48:25.920 --> 0:48:27.880 in my opinion, that's not who I am in my 0:48:28.040 --> 0:48:30.200 like vision of myself, that's not who I am. So 0:48:30.280 --> 0:48:32.560 I don't think that if I were to have started 0:48:32.640 --> 0:48:35.200 dating someone eight months ago while those were the only 0:48:35.200 --> 0:48:37.839 things that I've done, it wouldn't be an accurate representation 0:48:37.880 --> 0:48:41.279 of myself. Um. And so that's my one concern, that's 0:48:41.280 --> 0:48:44.359 my one hesitation to all of these quarantine relationships. But 0:48:44.920 --> 0:48:48.280 like I said, and like Caitlin said, we hope nothing 0:48:48.360 --> 0:48:51.880 but the best for our friend Derek Path. So anyways, 0:48:51.880 --> 0:48:54.240 that's gonna do it for this week's episode of Help 0:48:54.360 --> 0:48:58.840 I Suck at Dating? Um, we were so blessed today 0:48:58.880 --> 0:49:01.680 to have the wonderful and credible Kayla Miller Keys on 0:49:01.719 --> 0:49:04.920 the podcast as a co host. It's so funny to 0:49:04.960 --> 0:49:09.040 me because we we had Kylin as a co host 0:49:09.080 --> 0:49:11.799 today and I feel like all I did today was 0:49:11.920 --> 0:49:16.799 talk talk, talk and talk and talk and talks. That's 0:49:16.840 --> 0:49:19.239 how life is. You think you think I talk more 0:49:19.280 --> 0:49:25.279 than you do in this relationship. Okay, No, that's not 0:49:25.320 --> 0:49:27.960 the case. I don't know. Maybe I just feel like 0:49:27.960 --> 0:49:30.759 a responsibility to talk more because I don't want you 0:49:30.800 --> 0:49:33.960 to feel like you have to. Ah, you're just doing 0:49:34.000 --> 0:49:35.759 such a good job. I don't want to interrupt. That's 0:49:35.840 --> 0:49:38.040 very kind of you. Anyways, that's it for this week's 0:49:38.080 --> 0:49:41.400 episode of Help I Suck at Dating? UM. If you can't, 0:49:41.840 --> 0:49:44.120 I can't wait to get any more of Kalin. Be 0:49:44.200 --> 0:49:46.600 sure to check out her YouTube channel Kyla Miller Keys 0:49:46.800 --> 0:49:51.399 dot YouTube dot com, whatever it is, UM, and thank 0:49:51.440 --> 0:49:54.720 you to Jared for taking the week off. As always, 0:49:54.719 --> 0:49:57.280 she is slacking and I am just putting this show 0:49:57.320 --> 0:49:59.960 on my back and doing my absolute best to carry 0:50:00.120 --> 0:50:02.799 us to the promised Land. Next week. We were talking 0:50:02.800 --> 0:50:05.160 to Caleb and Justine from Love Island. You're not gonna 0:50:05.160 --> 0:50:07.359 want to miss that interview because they are fantastic and 0:50:07.400 --> 0:50:10.160 they are seemingly still going strong, so tune in for that. 0:50:10.840 --> 0:50:12.680 We're gonna have Jared back. I'm going to be back 0:50:12.719 --> 0:50:15.399 as well. So we look forward to Senior next week, 0:50:15.400 --> 0:50:17.960 where maybe we will suck just a little bit less. 0:50:18.120 --> 0:50:21.280 Follow help by Suck at Dating on I Heart Radio 0:50:21.440 --> 0:50:23.120 or wherever you listen to podcasts.