Speaker 1: Hell I Suck At Dating with Mengler, Jared Haven and
Speaker 1: I heard radio podcast What is Up? Everyone? Welcome to
Speaker 1: an all new episode of Help I Suck At Dating.
Speaker 1: I'm sure you're listening to last week's episode, and if
Speaker 1: you didn't, I can't blame you, because let's be real,
Speaker 1: it was just Jared and Ashley on the show, and
Speaker 1: who I'm just kidding. We love Jared n Ashley. If
Speaker 1: you haven't listened last week's episode, go back and listen
Speaker 1: to that episode. But what Jared and I did is
Speaker 1: we've kind of pulled a switcher ru of hosts of sorts.
Speaker 1: So Jared had his wife Ashley co host with him
Speaker 1: last week and this week for the first time in
Speaker 1: Help I Suck At Dating History, I have my wonderful
Speaker 1: girlfriend Kalin co hosting with me. Not an interview. She's
Speaker 1: not gonna just be answering questions, putting on her best face,
Speaker 1: putting her best foot forward. She's literally going to be
Speaker 1: co hosting this week's episode with yours truly, Kalen. If
Speaker 1: you would not mind saying saying hi to everyone. Hello, everyone,
Speaker 1: I'm super excited to be co hosting. I didn't know
Speaker 1: I was doing this up until well like a day ago. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: a little bit of a back story. So I guess
Speaker 1: honesty is really what we value most here on Help.
Speaker 1: I suck at dating. The reason that they hosted last
Speaker 1: week's episode is because one of my very good friends,
Speaker 1: one of my best friends, just turned thirty on that
Speaker 1: Friday of last week, which we typically record on, and
Speaker 1: he is an obsessive golfer, and so what we did
Speaker 1: was for his thirtieth week, surprised him with a round
Speaker 1: of golf at his favorite golf course very far away
Speaker 1: from our our our apartments in Los Angeles, and I
Speaker 1: over extended myself, as I often do, and I was
Speaker 1: not able to make our recording time for that, And
Speaker 1: so our consolation was having Jared Nashally host last week's episode.
Speaker 1: And my, uh my way of remedying the situation, I
Speaker 1: guess you could say, is having k Ellen so graciously
Speaker 1: co host this week with me, because our our fans
Speaker 1: of Help by succredating I've been with us for a
Speaker 1: long time. If you haven't been with us for a
Speaker 1: long time, welcome and thank you for joining us now.
Speaker 1: But it's it's not often that I am so willing
Speaker 1: to have Kalen on our podcast, and if you listen
Speaker 1: to two weeks ago when we had Kalen interviewed by Jared,
Speaker 1: you kind of get a little bit understanding as to
Speaker 1: why I'm so hesitant. Uh, we just kind of like
Speaker 1: to keep our our relationship somewhat private. We like to
Speaker 1: share the things we want to share. We don't like
Speaker 1: to be consistently like out in the media, which is
Speaker 1: just such a silly thing to say. It's like, if
Speaker 1: we wanted to be in the media, would we even
Speaker 1: be allowed to be in the media. I don't know.
Speaker 1: But the point is we just kind of stay. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we stay away from that, but we're not protecting it anymore.
Speaker 1: In fact, we are throwing our relationship into the wolves,
Speaker 1: into the fryer, and we are now co hosting podcasts together.
Speaker 1: We go from an interview we took a week off,
Speaker 1: and now we're co hosting it together. This relationship is
Speaker 1: progressing far too quickly for the likes of anyone involved. Um,
Speaker 1: it's been a year and a half. Yes, it's been
Speaker 1: a year and a half. And it's funny because when
Speaker 1: I told Kaylin just I literally think I just told
Speaker 1: her just yesterday. I said Hey, by the way, you're
Speaker 1: gonna have to co host my podcast with me tomorrow.
Speaker 1: And she was obviously like, yes, it's perfectly fine. And
Speaker 1: then she came to me like twenty minutes later and
Speaker 1: she goes, Hey, since I'm co hosting your podcast with
Speaker 1: you tomorrow, you're going to have to be on my
Speaker 1: YouTube video and answer a Q and A with me,
Speaker 1: because so many people ask me to host a Q
Speaker 1: and A involving you, and typically what I would say
Speaker 1: is no, not into it. Keep me out of your
Speaker 1: YouTube videos as I keep you out of my my podcast.
Speaker 1: But we're turning over new leaves. I think we're just
Speaker 1: we're scraping the bottom of the barrel for content here,
Speaker 1: and uh we're utilizing our last resorts, which is each other.
Speaker 1: So uh try try as we will, try as we might,
Speaker 1: we will uh stay as relevant as we possibly can.
Speaker 1: We've got a great episode for you guys today, Kaitlin,
Speaker 1: tell them what kind of episode we have in store
Speaker 1: for them. You probably don't know because you're not on
Speaker 1: the emails that I received. We got a great episode.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be Uh. Becky, Mark Easton are all part
Speaker 1: of it. Jared is taking the week off, as we
Speaker 1: kind of alluded to earlier. Um, we've got some questions
Speaker 1: that some of our listeners have submitted, Thank you very much.
Speaker 1: What else do we have? We have some great headlines,
Speaker 1: some topical headlines we want to talk about. We want
Speaker 1: to talk a little bit about maywage and what brings
Speaker 1: us here together. Uh, so you're not gonna want to
Speaker 1: miss any of that stuff. But before we jump into
Speaker 1: I guess any of that, I want to bring Becky
Speaker 1: in if she's if she's out there somewhere, Um, and
Speaker 1: maybe we can just have a little convo about one
Speaker 1: of the things that our listeners out there are interested
Speaker 1: in hearing about. Becky, what do you think? Yeah, we
Speaker 1: have a long list of questions for you guys, and
Speaker 1: some headlines that we can go through well. And before
Speaker 1: and I'm sorry to interrupt you, as I always go
Speaker 1: off on these tangential thoughts. Uh, I do want to say,
Speaker 1: as we've talked about in this podcast before, Becky had
Speaker 1: brought into Mario from I think it was Ohio or
Speaker 1: was it Michigan, Michigan, somewhere in the Midwest. I was close, uh,
Speaker 1: and Caitlin and I really wanted to go on a
Speaker 1: double date with you guys, as we had talked about,
Speaker 1: but unfortunately it wasn't the case. But uh, maybe one
Speaker 1: of these days you can get to Mario onto the
Speaker 1: podcast and we can all virtually double date. Definitely, Um,
Speaker 1: I would love that and I'm sure he would as well. Anyways,
Speaker 1: what do you want to talk about? Becky? Um? So
Speaker 1: can I share something? Becky? Will you go ahead and
Speaker 1: just uh we just we just would just mute your
Speaker 1: computer real quick, so there's no audio coming out of it,
Speaker 1: So I want to and just give me a thumbs
Speaker 1: up if I'm allowed to share this, that's okay, right, yes, okay, cool.
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna go ahead and say this real quick.
Speaker 1: Becky messaged the group privately and said her dad is
Speaker 1: sitting next to her and does not know that her
Speaker 1: and to Mario have gone on a date. Uh. And
Speaker 1: so to Becky's father, if you're listening to this, I apologize,
Speaker 1: And to anyone that might be speaking about future relationships,
Speaker 1: maybe pull the foot out of your mouth and just
Speaker 1: kind of keep it to yourself until after the fact. Anyways,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Becky. Back to you, sweet, and then back
Speaker 1: to you guys. Um. Okay, let's get rolling. Uh, first,
Speaker 1: what is your biggest turn off about each other? Does? Oh? Easy? Um?
Speaker 1: My biggest pet peeve in the whole world. I don't
Speaker 1: know why, but when people chew with their mouth open,
Speaker 1: it suggars this rage inside of me. So Dean likes
Speaker 1: to chomp, and then she with his mouth closed, and
Speaker 1: so I'm like, I can hear your chewing from the
Speaker 1: other room, and he He's like, you can't even hear me.
Speaker 1: You're in the other room. He's crazy. We literally in
Speaker 1: opposite rooms of each other. And I'm like eating chips
Speaker 1: in the living room and she like yells across stop chewing.
Speaker 1: And I, in my opinion, in my experience, I'm pretty like,
Speaker 1: uh polite when it comes to chewing. I keep my
Speaker 1: mouth closed, but my like initial first two bites are
Speaker 1: pretty I guess, pretty aggressive. Um. But that's Is that
Speaker 1: a turn off or is that a pet peeve? Pete?
Speaker 1: So what's a turn off? That was a question? Okay,
Speaker 1: turn off would be sometimes it's just a little smelly. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's not a turn off though, just like that one
Speaker 1: day that you got really smelly. You want to know
Speaker 1: what's Yeah, I'm not denying that I get a little smelly.
Speaker 1: I've played golf today with Wells and on like the
Speaker 1: sixth hole. He like, we're like sharing a golf cart
Speaker 1: together and we're driving to our balls that we had
Speaker 1: just hit, and he looks at me and he goes, hey,
Speaker 1: when was the last time you bathed yourself? It's been
Speaker 1: about I would say, like five days since my last shower.
Speaker 1: Which it's funny because I played golf with the Wells
Speaker 1: five days ago and I told him that I should
Speaker 1: The day that I played with him last was the
Speaker 1: last time that I showered. I get it, Yes, I
Speaker 1: know it's I'm a busy guy, Okay, I don't have
Speaker 1: time for things like showers or soap whatever. Um, what
Speaker 1: is my biggest I'm a busy guy, you guys, I've
Speaker 1: got a lot of I got a lot of things.
Speaker 1: I've got a lot of the business ventures I'm working
Speaker 1: on a lot of Yeah, anyways, my biggest turn off? Um?
Speaker 1: What is? What? Do you think my biggest turn off is?
Speaker 1: I'm perfect? Nothing? What is my biggest turn off? Um?
Speaker 1: Do you have any I'm a little cleany? Yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: maybe maybe clinginess, I guess would say, but I kind
Speaker 1: of like like the clingness a little bit. It's like
Speaker 1: kind of cute. I would say, my biggest turn off
Speaker 1: is oh, um, oh, I know what it is. I
Speaker 1: didn't know exactly what it is, and you should know
Speaker 1: what it is too. My biggest turn off is lip
Speaker 1: gloss or chapstick. I freaking hate chapstick. And whenever Calin
Speaker 1: puts chapstick on to like to moisturess your dry lips
Speaker 1: and she like leans in for a kiss, I say,
Speaker 1: get the heck away from me and keep your oily
Speaker 1: lips off of mine. So that's my biggest thing. Like,
Speaker 1: whenever she does that, that's the thing where I'm like,
Speaker 1: absolutely not stay away from me. I don't know why
Speaker 1: I hate. I hate oily lips, I hate oily skin.
Speaker 1: It just that's my turn off. Wait, can I ask
Speaker 1: one question really quick? If chapstick is a turn off
Speaker 1: than our dry chapped lips a turn on? Uh? I
Speaker 1: don't think it's one extreme to the next. It's it's
Speaker 1: kind of more of just like a happy media like
Speaker 1: happy middle ground. Uh. There have been times where like,
Speaker 1: for instance, the first thing that comes to mind is
Speaker 1: last year, I did this big climbing trip with my
Speaker 1: buddy and we like ran out of water for the
Speaker 1: last half of it, and so my lips were super trapped,
Speaker 1: and I remember like kissing her and I was like, well,
Speaker 1: this sucks just as much as kissing you with chapstick on.
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna say no, it's exsolutely the case. It's
Speaker 1: just like, there's got to be a happy medium somewhere,
Speaker 1: you know. Wow. Yeah. I also love the dynamic of
Speaker 1: when you asked a couple what's the biggest turn off
Speaker 1: is about E show? But you asked a woman, she's like, oh,
Speaker 1: where do I begin? But you asked the guy. He's like, well, honey,
Speaker 1: what do you think it is? Because what am I
Speaker 1: allowed to say here? What would be acceptable for me
Speaker 1: to say? And he's just linch loss, which is nothing
Speaker 1: about her as a person. Well, she's got a laundry list. No,
Speaker 1: it's on a laundry list. And by the way, you'd
Speaker 1: be the same with me and my wife. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: thought you were going to say what when I say
Speaker 1: what after you say something? Oh yeah, okay, that's also
Speaker 1: another good one. Um, well, it's this is more of
Speaker 1: a pet peeve though than a turn off. But I
Speaker 1: guess it's I think that we can all be turned
Speaker 1: on and off to people of you know whoever. It
Speaker 1: is so whenever I say something and again, I speak quickly,
Speaker 1: sometimes I mumble. Sometimes I'm not saying that I'm completely
Speaker 1: absolved absolved the fault here. But whenever someone like clearly
Speaker 1: understands what you say and they still say what, Oh God,
Speaker 1: it drives me absolutely bonkers. I lose my mind. And
Speaker 1: and what I've started doing, especially in old ages, I've
Speaker 1: I've stopped repeating myself and I've stopped reese telling them
Speaker 1: what I said, and I like, just pause for a
Speaker 1: good five to ten seconds, and I would say nine
Speaker 1: times out of ten they end up answering the thing
Speaker 1: that I said anyways, because it just takes them a
Speaker 1: little bit longer too. And I think I've actually talked
Speaker 1: about this on the podcast before, but it just takes
Speaker 1: them a little bit longer to piece together in their
Speaker 1: head what I said that they were asking what I said,
Speaker 1: and they were just like trying to stall for time.
Speaker 1: But I it's one of my biggest pet peeps of
Speaker 1: all time, if not my biggest. Okay, next question, do
Speaker 1: you think it's important to never go to bed angry? Yes?
Speaker 1: I do. I think we do a good job of
Speaker 1: well he does a really good job. If I'm mad
Speaker 1: at him, he'll get me out of whatever funk I'm in.
Speaker 1: He's a little bit harder when he's angry to get
Speaker 1: out of it. Yeah. Well, I think that as an individuals,
Speaker 1: we require different things to get us out of our anger.
Speaker 1: She I would not to speak for her, but I'm
Speaker 1: going to anyway. She requires a little bit of extra
Speaker 1: attention and like some coofiness and some laughter, and I
Speaker 1: just require some like solitude and quietness. And so with
Speaker 1: those two things considered, She like, I don't say I
Speaker 1: ever go to better angry because I don't really have
Speaker 1: to get angry except for when she asks me what
Speaker 1: after everything that I say, or when she was look
Speaker 1: loss and when she don't get me wrong. When she
Speaker 1: does those two things together, I go off the free.
Speaker 1: I like, I gotta leave for weeks at a time. Um,
Speaker 1: But uh, I don't think that we ever really got
Speaker 1: a bit angry, because well, hey, I don't really think
Speaker 1: we ever really get angry at each other. Like there
Speaker 1: are super little things that we obviously get annoyed with
Speaker 1: each other about, but no, we don't really go to
Speaker 1: bit angry, So I don't think I don't think it's
Speaker 1: It hasn't applied to our relationships, so it's kind of
Speaker 1: hard for us to really make a definitive stance one
Speaker 1: way or the other. So Ashley and Jured were asked
Speaker 1: this question as well, Um, does a significant other's number
Speaker 1: matter to you? And numbers and how many people have
Speaker 1: they've slept with? Yeah, you wanna what's funny is I
Speaker 1: saw this on the help I Suck, a dating Instagram
Speaker 1: page and I saw them answer that question on video,
Speaker 1: and I was like, Oh, that's an interesting question to
Speaker 1: talk about, and I honestly don't think it's something that
Speaker 1: Caitlin and I have ever discussed. Yeah, for me, I
Speaker 1: don't like to think about his past relationships or anything
Speaker 1: prior to our relationship. So it's like that was before me.
Speaker 1: I don't care, I don't need to know kind of thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a that's a thankfully for me. That's the way
Speaker 1: that she looks at it. Uh. I agree. I think
Speaker 1: that anything that happens before the significant other was in
Speaker 1: the picture, it's kind of like moot and irrelevant, and
Speaker 1: it's like, yeah, you can spend time thinking about it
Speaker 1: and dwelling on it, but you're just gonna make yourself
Speaker 1: angry for literally no reason at all, because it's like,
Speaker 1: what are you supposed to do about someone doing things
Speaker 1: before they ever possibly knew you? And there's funny. It's
Speaker 1: funny too because uh, sometimes this is it doesn't happen
Speaker 1: really much anymore, but a long time ago and we
Speaker 1: first started dating, they were things where I was like
Speaker 1: disappointed about or like just like upset to hear, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean about like Caitlin's dating history. And
Speaker 1: I was like, well, dude, if you were to flip
Speaker 1: it around and put me in the same position that
Speaker 1: I'm putting her in, I would look twenty times worse.
Speaker 1: So like I'm not gonna sit here and be a
Speaker 1: hypocrite and like be upset about something that she might
Speaker 1: or might not have done while I have done the
Speaker 1: same thing, if not worse, ten times over, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. So it's like, I don't think that
Speaker 1: you should ever really hold your significant other accountable for
Speaker 1: the things that they did before they knew the person
Speaker 1: that they're dating. And I think that kind of that's
Speaker 1: kind of like a unanimous across the board, Like very
Speaker 1: few exceptions I think could really apply to that situation.
Speaker 1: What did what back you had a question or out
Speaker 1: of curiosity? What did Ashley and Jared say to that?
Speaker 1: I think they said no, I think it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: They actually said that she wanted to know like a
Speaker 1: ball park. Um. And then she brought up how one
Speaker 1: of her friends said that Jared's number was different than
Speaker 1: what Jared shared. Oh no, yes, so that into a
Speaker 1: whole conversation as well. Yeah, but the next question, Um,
Speaker 1: is cheating a deal breaker? And do you believe once
Speaker 1: a cheater always a cheater? Um? Yes, cheating as a
Speaker 1: deal breaker, But no, I think people can cheat, impass
Speaker 1: relationships and learn from that and then not be a cheater.
Speaker 1: Then we've talked about this, Yeah, I mean I've I
Speaker 1: could freaking hope that once a cheater, always a cheater
Speaker 1: can't be true, because if that were the case, then
Speaker 1: I guess I would be able to cheat her for
Speaker 1: the rest of my life, which I don't personally think
Speaker 1: that I am uh personally from personal experience, obviously, it's
Speaker 1: all we can all draw from. It's no secret that
Speaker 1: I've admitted to having cheated on ex girlfriends. I think
Speaker 1: the worst thing for someone that's uh that's been an
Speaker 1: idiot like I have is to like try to lie
Speaker 1: about it or pretend like it never happened. Because if
Speaker 1: you do that, that's proof that you're not learning from
Speaker 1: those mistakes and growing from those mistakes. Uh. And if
Speaker 1: that's the case, then I think that you're destined to
Speaker 1: cheat again. Uh. And that took me a long time
Speaker 1: to figure out too. I would say, up until I
Speaker 1: was like twenty six or twenty seven, I was like,
Speaker 1: so I would deny the fact that I ever, like
Speaker 1: cheated on a girlfriend ever. Uh. And then once I
Speaker 1: was able to like kind of admit that and be honest,
Speaker 1: not only with other people but also with myself. Uh,
Speaker 1: that kind of helped me grow as not only just
Speaker 1: an individual, but also as a partner. And it's funny too,
Speaker 1: because even just the other day, I like sometimes have
Speaker 1: these like I'm sorry language so these stupid dreams. And
Speaker 1: this other day, like I had a dream and I
Speaker 1: was like I woke up and Caitlin and I were
Speaker 1: sitting in the kitchen drinking here coffee and eating cereal
Speaker 1: or whatever. I was like, Calin, like I have to
Speaker 1: tell you something. I had a dream last night that
Speaker 1: it cheated on you, and she goes like so upset,
Speaker 1: like you cheated on me your dream last night, and
Speaker 1: I it will not because it was more like a
Speaker 1: like it was more like inquisitive, like, oh, you cheated
Speaker 1: on your dream last night, And I was like, well, no,
Speaker 1: I didn't cheat on you in my dream. I was
Speaker 1: living my life as I normally would. But in my
Speaker 1: dream I had cheated on you in the past and
Speaker 1: I didn't experience it in the dream. But like I
Speaker 1: it was like this weird situation and she was like, well,
Speaker 1: well you didn't cheat. It's just like weird. But but
Speaker 1: the point is I know that like it might have
Speaker 1: actually caused more damage than not had I shared it.
Speaker 1: But um, I think just being open and honest about
Speaker 1: that type of stuff is the most important thing. So
Speaker 1: once a cheater, I was a cheater in my opinion,
Speaker 1: isn't the case. But cheating also, in my opinion, is
Speaker 1: a deal breaker. Like if I think are either of
Speaker 1: us were to cheat on each other, I don't think
Speaker 1: either of us would really consider giving the other person
Speaker 1: the benefit of the doubt, right, yeah, yeah, even or
Speaker 1: not cheat on me either, I don't. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: It's so funny too, because as I've gotten older, I'm
Speaker 1: twenty nine now, it's like my priorities have shifted so greatly,
Speaker 1: like back when I I've cheated on two girlfriends in
Speaker 1: my life, and I think it's because back when I
Speaker 1: did those, I think it was nineteen the first time,
Speaker 1: in twenty three the second time, And like my my
Speaker 1: interest in my priorities when I was nineteen and twenty
Speaker 1: three where basically just like party and get drunk and
Speaker 1: hang out with friends. And when those are your interests
Speaker 1: and priorities, it's like, well, obviously you're gonna make stupid
Speaker 1: mistakes because it's like you're living a freaking hollow life
Speaker 1: and you're not like getting any any value out of
Speaker 1: those things. And so um, as a twenty nine year
Speaker 1: old that I am now, I think that my my
Speaker 1: priorities have changed to involve those things quite a bit
Speaker 1: less and that just may becomes the time experience, But
Speaker 1: I don't know, I could be wrong. What do you
Speaker 1: think about the argument that men and women cheat for
Speaker 1: different reasons, and that if men's cheet they're just giving
Speaker 1: into their base instincts, and if women cheat, it's because
Speaker 1: they're not getting what they need out of the relationships.
Speaker 1: So if Dan worded sheet, well he's just scumbag who
Speaker 1: gave in. But if Kalin sheets because she needs something
Speaker 1: from Dean that she's not getting, I know that means
Speaker 1: that either way it's the guy's fault. But I think
Speaker 1: also women cheat for different reasons than men do. I
Speaker 1: think that is fair to say. I mean, my first
Speaker 1: thing to my first response to that is you have
Speaker 1: to still it's an unfortunate double standard that men are
Speaker 1: kind of like, it's a lose lose for us. Either
Speaker 1: we're either the dogs that wanted to do something with
Speaker 1: someone else or were the person that wasn't giving our
Speaker 1: partner what they needed to and so because of that,
Speaker 1: they kind of have a pass to do something else. Um,
Speaker 1: what do you think? I agree? I mean it, yeah,
Speaker 1: it is kind of unfortunate, but that is usually how
Speaker 1: it is, right, Like, a woman doesn't cheat typically. I'm
Speaker 1: not saying, I don't know, but it's kind of sexy.
Speaker 1: I just think I agree. Uh, yeah, I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't what do you think women are more monogamous
Speaker 1: by nature? Yeah, and we like the idea of love
Speaker 1: and we like to be in love and if our
Speaker 1: partners not giving us that, then I could see someone cheating.
Speaker 1: I guess, I don't know, what do you think, Mark,
Speaker 1: I think that there are women who cheat for the
Speaker 1: same base reasons as a man would cheat. I guess
Speaker 1: it's so a circumstantial but I think in general, if
Speaker 1: there is infidelity in a relationship, it's usually goes back
Speaker 1: to the guy. I would say, if we were to
Speaker 1: go back in history and calculate the cause of infidelity,
Speaker 1: I mean, it's hard to argue that it would probably
Speaker 1: be like in favor of the men that were the
Speaker 1: reason for it, right, I would agree with that, But
Speaker 1: I I think that times were changing. You know, evolution
Speaker 1: is a slow process. Uh. And I want to say
Speaker 1: that there has been a moment in my life where
Speaker 1: I've been cheated on, But again it's it's it's kind
Speaker 1: of looking through it in rose cloded classes where it's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that I was giving everything that I could
Speaker 1: have been giving to the partner, but maybe that they
Speaker 1: thought that you need something else and they went out
Speaker 1: and found it with another guy. I don't know. I
Speaker 1: just think that there are so many variables that can
Speaker 1: come kind of come into play on that case. But
Speaker 1: I do agree that there are like men have these
Speaker 1: uh uh sexual urges that are just I guess maybe
Speaker 1: easier to act on and uh when a woman it
Speaker 1: just it's it's like almost harder to you and like
Speaker 1: say that a woman cheats on a man because I
Speaker 1: guess maybe that's why, because it's like you just don't
Speaker 1: really think about it or hear about it quite as often.
Speaker 1: Something my wife has said to me a number of
Speaker 1: times was she's like, if I found out you had
Speaker 1: sex with somebody else but you didn't like it was
Speaker 1: just sex, I wouldn't care. But if I found out
Speaker 1: you were, like you have like a deep emotional connection
Speaker 1: with somebody and there was no sex, like, that would
Speaker 1: be like devastating to me. And it's yeah, I've always
Speaker 1: thought like this sounds like a trap. Yeah, it's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like it's the character from Star Wars. It's a trap.
Speaker 1: It's so funny too, because one of my really good friends,
Speaker 1: who's a girl, has been in a relationship for a
Speaker 1: long time as well, and she had she said the
Speaker 1: same thing to her boyfriend of like nine years. She
Speaker 1: was like, well, if you want to go out and
Speaker 1: hook up with girls, um purely on like a sexual basis,
Speaker 1: that's fine, But like if you're like texting them and
Speaker 1: talking to them on a regular basis, like investing in
Speaker 1: them emotionally, then that's not okay. And I heard that
Speaker 1: story too, and it's like, I think in our heads
Speaker 1: were so ingrained to think that like any type of cheating,
Speaker 1: whether it's physical or emotional, is uh not cool whatsoever.
Speaker 1: I just think it really boils down to, uh, what
Speaker 1: the partner says is okay and what they're comfortable with,
Speaker 1: because it's like everyone's different. Obviously, every relationship is different.
Speaker 1: I just think that monogamy is obviously such a staple
Speaker 1: of every solid relationship, but that's not the only right
Speaker 1: way to have a relationship whatsoever. I think there's a
Speaker 1: million different ways too. So, uh, that's really interesting that
Speaker 1: your wife said that, Easton. I mean, listen, I kind
Speaker 1: of agree with her, to be honest, but it's it's
Speaker 1: like one of those things where it's like you're almost
Speaker 1: too scared to act on it because and nor nor
Speaker 1: would you ever, Nor would you I'm not saying that
Speaker 1: you would ever, But I think she said it because
Speaker 1: she has confidence that that she's the only woman on
Speaker 1: the plane that would willingly have sex with me. So
Speaker 1: she's like, what did you post on your what did
Speaker 1: you post on your Instagram stories today? Because, uh, you
Speaker 1: look like someone or something like that, and she texted,
Speaker 1: she texted you and said you've never been more attractive
Speaker 1: or something like that. Uh. Tori Spelling from nine o two,
Speaker 1: I know, told me that I looked cute, and she
Speaker 1: posted it and said she felt proud of me. Honestly,
Speaker 1: very impressive. It was a big moment for me. So,
Speaker 1: I mean, let's be honest, she might not be as
Speaker 1: safe as she thinks she is. If Tori Spelling is
Speaker 1: calling you a cute, I don't know. I mean she
Speaker 1: also said I was quite handsome, so to watch out.
Speaker 1: Did she see your your head to tell where you
Speaker 1: wearing crocks at the time or no, you know, actually
Speaker 1: she just saw this exact frame. She said, you said
Speaker 1: you've done something with your beard, and she was happy
Speaker 1: about my haircut. Yeah you shaved well, you shaved it off.
Speaker 1: You've got the sexy five o'clock shadow. Now yeah, I mean, hey,
Speaker 1: I think it's sexy, but thank you. There's two doesn't
Speaker 1: care the same way. It as tory spelling, but still um. Okay,
Speaker 1: So if you two were on dating apps, um, what
Speaker 1: would be your pickuplind for messages someone? Hm? Oh, I
Speaker 1: don't know. You go first. You go first, like you're
Speaker 1: opening a line thank you. This is like the icebreaker line. Yep,
Speaker 1: Like you see someone, you swipe right, they match you,
Speaker 1: and you're like ready to slide in. What's that first visage? Okay?
Speaker 1: If I saw Dean on a dating app, no, not me,
Speaker 1: just like another guy, where was it? If it is
Speaker 1: it we saw each other, it could be whatever, sure
Speaker 1: you saw me? So if I saw you on a
Speaker 1: dating app, and I kind of did this on Instagram,
Speaker 1: I would see his travels and his cool lifestyle, and
Speaker 1: so I would kind of like slide in there and
Speaker 1: relate it back to me somehow, which is what I
Speaker 1: did on Instagram. I was like, Oh, you're traveling to Japan, Singapore, Thailand.
Speaker 1: That's literally lead the trip I just did. And that
Speaker 1: was like my segue into deeming him. Yeah, and it
Speaker 1: didn't work because obviously I blew her off coffee the
Speaker 1: first couple of times. Um. I think my uh, it's
Speaker 1: funny because it's like it actually perfectly applies. Is if
Speaker 1: I were in a dating app, I would a never
Speaker 1: send the first message because jets as an individual that
Speaker 1: used to be on dating apps that was always like
Speaker 1: kind of like my thing. I just would never I
Speaker 1: would never send the first message because I was a boy,
Speaker 1: uh and I would probably be pretty flaky. I would
Speaker 1: be hard to meet up with me, but like we
Speaker 1: could carry on conversations for a while. Dating apps are
Speaker 1: hard because it's like, uh, back when I was on
Speaker 1: dating apps a long long time ago, I was like
Speaker 1: as much fun as I had on the dating apps,
Speaker 1: it was like very difficult for me to like become
Speaker 1: interested enough in someone that I met on a dating
Speaker 1: app to like progress the conversation to move from the
Speaker 1: app to texting to meeting up for a day and
Speaker 1: then carrying it on from there. So there's like so
Speaker 1: many great filters that were along the way that uh,
Speaker 1: they were kind of more of just like like a
Speaker 1: time killer, you know what I mean, Like your board,
Speaker 1: You're sitting on the toilet and you're just like trying
Speaker 1: to kill some time and Fantasy football is not going on,
Speaker 1: and so I would just like jump on bumble. So
Speaker 1: uh yeah, not the not not maybe not the best practice.
Speaker 1: But so you wouldn't have a pickup line. You just
Speaker 1: no pickup lines. I think that I would maybe, like
Speaker 1: once or twice I would drop some like stupid cheesy
Speaker 1: dad jokes, but nothing, nothing substantial. This listener asked, if
Speaker 1: a guy goes you after four dates but then comes
Speaker 1: back three months later, is he actually interested. No, definitely
Speaker 1: not go for it. I mean, especially if it's now
Speaker 1: and it's COVID He's like, oh shoot, I'm coming back
Speaker 1: because I'm bored. But yeah, if he goes did you
Speaker 1: after four dates, he clearly wasn't interested and now he's
Speaker 1: coming back just because of boredom, I would say, um, yeah,
Speaker 1: I would say that's very very true. I Uh. It's like, look,
Speaker 1: if someone wants you in their life, they're going to
Speaker 1: make time for you. And obviously this person didn't make
Speaker 1: time for you for three months and something changed drastically.
Speaker 1: It's not like he's like it's not like there was
Speaker 1: like some unspoken bond that like drew him back to you.
Speaker 1: It was he probably finished whatever he was doing that
Speaker 1: kind of kept him from me in the first place,
Speaker 1: and it was like going back and retracing his steps
Speaker 1: and seeing what like low hanging fruit he has available
Speaker 1: to him. Uh, And so I would not put any
Speaker 1: stock whatsoever into that because it sounds troublesome, to say
Speaker 1: the least. Okay, trying to spice it up. Yeah, spice
Speaker 1: it up for us. Back, where's the most wild place
Speaker 1: you've had sex? WHOA, that's too much spice? Is your
Speaker 1: dad's going the room? That is too much spice. Let's
Speaker 1: talk more about the Mario back to yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: we're gonna plead the fifth I think on the wildest
Speaker 1: place we've had sex with each other. I would think
Speaker 1: I would rather um us talk about the wildest place
Speaker 1: we've had sex then the wildest place either of us
Speaker 1: had sex with someone else. So we're gonna go ahead,
Speaker 1: and if we plead the fifth on the first one,
Speaker 1: we're gonna plead theft on the second one. Is that
Speaker 1: is that a fair answer? Well? So much? First up,
Speaker 1: we can assume that you've done it in a car,
Speaker 1: right or a van? Uh? Well, I mean listen, okay, Well,
Speaker 1: we're gonna slowly creep ourselves into this conversation. I mean
Speaker 1: we're boiling the frog here, you know, for hey, for
Speaker 1: all we know, and for all we want you guys
Speaker 1: to know her and I have never Caitlin and I
Speaker 1: have never even had sex. So we're gonna go ahead
Speaker 1: and keep that uh fifth pleading, uh turn all the
Speaker 1: way up. So yeah, sorry, next question, Sorry, Becky, what
Speaker 1: else you got for us? Okay? Um, is it a
Speaker 1: red flag if someone says they love you after week two? Well,
Speaker 1: let's go ahead and ask me that question, because shut
Speaker 1: up a week one and a half. What do you think, um,
Speaker 1: kind of yeah, I mean after two weeks. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: not a big fan of like, yeah, okay. So Dean
Speaker 1: we talked about this like a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 1: He was like, when you know you love me, just
Speaker 1: wait a couple months just to make sure. And so
Speaker 1: I didn't tell them until like six months in eight months,
Speaker 1: in yeah, I think you should wait. I think there's
Speaker 1: no reason to rush. That's like saying that. I think
Speaker 1: I think two weeks is way too premature, especially in
Speaker 1: today's day and night. It's it's it's it's such an
Speaker 1: always so interesting to answer these questions because I guarantee,
Speaker 1: like Marker Reason are going to come back and be like, well,
Speaker 1: I told my wife I loved her after the first date,
Speaker 1: and we've been married for nineteen years. So yes, So
Speaker 1: obviously this all goes with the grain of salt. Uh.
Speaker 1: In my opinion and in my experience, whenever I have
Speaker 1: felt those feelings and then expressed those feelings early on,
Speaker 1: within two weeks to four weeks to eight weeks, whatever is,
Speaker 1: I didn't know what the heck I was saying. I was.
Speaker 1: I was basically speaking based purely on like the situation
Speaker 1: and like the environment. And then when I removed myself
Speaker 1: from that environment, I realized how like stupid I was.
Speaker 1: And so I think it's like a very impulsive thing
Speaker 1: to say. I think it's a very like emotional thing
Speaker 1: to say, obviously, But I think two weeks is far
Speaker 1: too soon, because it's like, what the heck are you
Speaker 1: supposed to know about someone in two weeks? You don't
Speaker 1: really know anyone in two weeks, right, What do you
Speaker 1: guys think? Mark Easton? How long did it take you
Speaker 1: guys to say you love your wives? I would say
Speaker 1: a couple of months. And I think if you steal
Speaker 1: that in the first two weeks, I think it's fine.
Speaker 1: Your emotions aren't wrong, but I think you want to
Speaker 1: give it a little bit a little bit, just because
Speaker 1: you're either going to scare them away or you're going
Speaker 1: to regret it because maybe you were feeling what you
Speaker 1: thought you were feeling. Okay, it's fair Eastern. I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think mine was like six months. I don't I
Speaker 1: don't remember. But but you guys had more of an
Speaker 1: interesting genesis because you guys were friends for a long time,
Speaker 1: very long time. Yes, and when when we said it,
Speaker 1: it was very casual and it was just like like
Speaker 1: we didn't realize we even said it. It It was just
Speaker 1: like because almost by accident. But but I also think
Speaker 1: that if you wait, if like you hit month three
Speaker 1: and then you just say it, I think it would
Speaker 1: feel very insincere that like you were waiting for a
Speaker 1: specific like a very specific date, like I'm waiting for
Speaker 1: this much time to pass to say it. So it's
Speaker 1: all about how Yeah, that's very fair. I think I've
Speaker 1: been pressured in the past two uh say that because
Speaker 1: I felt like it was the right time to say
Speaker 1: and then looking back later on, I like regretted saying it,
Speaker 1: just because I felt like this was like this is
Speaker 1: like a testament to the time that we spent together.
Speaker 1: But in reality, it wasn't it was. It was more
Speaker 1: of like a time allotment rather than a feeling, and
Speaker 1: I regretted it later on. Um becky, question for you,
Speaker 1: and you can just say yes or no to this
Speaker 1: is have have have you ever said that to anyone
Speaker 1: that you've been dating in recent time? No? Okay, cool?
Speaker 1: Next question, I have updates next time for you and
Speaker 1: think when your father is not sitting right next to you. Um, Dean,
Speaker 1: you've been playing, uh tennis? Do you think that's a
Speaker 1: good first date? During COVID have you guys done that together? Well,
Speaker 1: for the record, I have not been playing tennis. I
Speaker 1: have played tennis, but Kaylin is the tennis player in
Speaker 1: the relationship. The reason I've played tennis is because of her. H.
Speaker 1: I think it's a great first date. I think especially
Speaker 1: during the COVID era that we're in now, it's like,
Speaker 1: you guys, are you know what forty I don't know.
Speaker 1: How about the tennis court is? You know, I would
Speaker 1: say forty feed apart from each other? Uh, you gotta
Speaker 1: like you're still like within conversation distance, like you're not yelling,
Speaker 1: you can still talk. You get to see like, uh,
Speaker 1: this is gonna sound kind of weird, but you kind
Speaker 1: of get to see how the other person sweats, which
Speaker 1: which is a weird thing to say, but it's like
Speaker 1: a kind of dictates a lot about how they're going
Speaker 1: to be as a person. You gotta see how competitive
Speaker 1: they are and like how angry they get when they
Speaker 1: lose or when or whatever it is. So I think
Speaker 1: it's a great first day. It's nothing, It's something that
Speaker 1: I never would have really considered being a first day
Speaker 1: up until Kaitlin and I had just started playing. But
Speaker 1: I think it be pretty It's a pretty smart, safe
Speaker 1: first date to take. What do you think? Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: pretty fun. Um, I go almost every day and my
Speaker 1: friend Tory and I that I go with. She we
Speaker 1: actually watched someone go on their first date like two
Speaker 1: days ago and then it ended up like they weren't
Speaker 1: into each other, but they're both real estate agents, so
Speaker 1: they were able to connect job wise. Um, but it
Speaker 1: was interesting to kind of watch their dynamic and see
Speaker 1: how it went. But I think it'd be a good date.
Speaker 1: I think, um, well, it's funny too. It's because she's
Speaker 1: been playing a lot of tennis and I've been playing
Speaker 1: a lot of golf, and we've just kind of turned
Speaker 1: it like this stupid little country club couple as of late.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, tennis, golf, anything that kind of like gets
Speaker 1: you out, gets you active. I think it is always
Speaker 1: a good first date. But yeah, tennis, especially because, like
Speaker 1: we said, it's like COVID safe, it's very easy to access.
Speaker 1: All you need is a racket and tennis ball and
Speaker 1: basically all the tennis courts are free, so it's like
Speaker 1: why not. Yeah, hey, then this one is for you. Um,
Speaker 1: last time we had you on, you said Connor didn't
Speaker 1: really have a chance with you. Um, can you elaborate? Yes? Um.
Speaker 1: Dean and I like we had a very strong connection
Speaker 1: we had. There was like so much passion we could
Speaker 1: connect and Um he left and I was like I
Speaker 1: was waiting for Connor to come down, but it wasn't
Speaker 1: what I expected it to be. And also the relationship
Speaker 1: Dina and I had wasn't what I expected it to be.
Speaker 1: I thought it was gonna be fun and casual and
Speaker 1: then we actually had something. Um. So of course when
Speaker 1: Deane came down, I was like, I'm going to pick
Speaker 1: the guy in the relationship that I really think that
Speaker 1: there's a future here. Even though it was like terrifying
Speaker 1: and scary, and I was like, he could dumped me
Speaker 1: in two days and realize, like this isn't right, But
Speaker 1: I just it just made more sense. And I just
Speaker 1: want to say something real quick, and I'm probably gonna
Speaker 1: get trouble and trouble for this, But one of the
Speaker 1: reasons that Calin was so interested in Connor is because
Speaker 1: a friend of hers told her how great they would
Speaker 1: be as a couple and how excited they would be
Speaker 1: to go on double dates with them, right, And so
Speaker 1: like you get this thing and grained your head where
Speaker 1: it's like, oh, one of your good friends is dating
Speaker 1: a guy who has vouched for this guy who he's
Speaker 1: never met, but he thinks he's a good guy. And
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that he's Connor is not a good guy,
Speaker 1: because I think he absolutely is. But I think that
Speaker 1: one of the reasons that you got so excited to
Speaker 1: meet Honor And again, correct me if I'm wrong, but
Speaker 1: I think one of the reasons you were so excited
Speaker 1: is because you let your friends build him up in
Speaker 1: your head. Haven't They didn't know him, They had like
Speaker 1: a perception of him, and then you kind of like
Speaker 1: in your head were like, Wow, this guy is great
Speaker 1: based off of absolutely nothing. No, absolutely, And it was
Speaker 1: like them building it up for months and kept telling me, oh,
Speaker 1: the producers are like waiting to match you up, or
Speaker 1: the producers think you guys are gonna be so great,
Speaker 1: and I think you guys are gonna be so great,
Speaker 1: and it was like, you guys haven't met them. I haven't.
Speaker 1: I haven't met him, and yeah, it just wasn't. It
Speaker 1: was like built up to be this like fairy tale
Speaker 1: romantic thing and it just wasn't that. It was that
Speaker 1: with Dean, which I wasn't expecting, especially since I jammed
Speaker 1: him and we tried that and yeah, and for the record,
Speaker 1: we both like Connor. I think that guy. It's just
Speaker 1: like he's not my person. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah exactly.
Speaker 1: But yeah she Connor never said a chance. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: but like you remember, remember Christina, It's like, come on,
Speaker 1: you have you ever met Dean before? Obviously not if
Speaker 1: you think you still have a chance in this situation. Okay,
Speaker 1: So we'll just go through a couple of headlines. Hannah
Speaker 1: Brown has announced that she's on a dating app and
Speaker 1: she wants someone that has their crap together. What does
Speaker 1: it mean to have their crap together. I would say
Speaker 1: to have over a million Instagram followers. Oh sorry, Oh,
Speaker 1: I mean she dated or was engaged to Jed. So yeah,
Speaker 1: someone who's not him, I think. Okay, here's my take
Speaker 1: on having your crap together. I think anyone that's looking
Speaker 1: for someone to have their crap together, it's a prerequisite
Speaker 1: to set yourself up for failure because having your crap
Speaker 1: together is not a personality trait. It's not a reason
Speaker 1: for someone to like someone else. Like, if you like
Speaker 1: someone solely because they have their crap together, then your
Speaker 1: interests are so misaligned. It's like, she what she needs
Speaker 1: to find and again, I don't I know, I've met Hannah.
Speaker 1: I don't know her very well. What she needs to
Speaker 1: find is just someone that she can enjoy living. Like,
Speaker 1: Hannah is gonna be fine whether she's by herself or
Speaker 1: whether she's with someone, She's gonna be fine. Obviously, she's
Speaker 1: got like this great star potential she is. She is,
Speaker 1: she's the former Bachelorette, Dancing with the Stars champion, like
Speaker 1: all these things, Like, she doesn't necessarily need to find
Speaker 1: someone with their crap together. She needs to find someone
Speaker 1: that she like enjoys spending her time with because that's
Speaker 1: what she's going to be doing for the next sixty years.
Speaker 1: So I think finding someone with their crap, I don't
Speaker 1: have my crap together. Minecrap is so minecrap is so
Speaker 1: far torn apart, like it's the worst crap ever. That's
Speaker 1: that's like the most dire, real piece of crap you
Speaker 1: could ever possibly find. But like we still like maybe
Speaker 1: if you talk to Kalen two years ago, she probably
Speaker 1: would say she wants someone with the crap together, But
Speaker 1: it turns out it took someone that didn't have their
Speaker 1: crap together to really, like say, to to make the
Speaker 1: relationship work. So I I hate hearing that because it's
Speaker 1: not that's such a poor prerequisite to a relationship. No,
Speaker 1: I agree. And when you're saying that, I was thinking,
Speaker 1: like what I was looking for to three years ago
Speaker 1: was like what you think of in the South, you know,
Speaker 1: the typical Southern relationship, which might be what she's still
Speaker 1: looking for. And then I found Dean and I was like, wait,
Speaker 1: I'm not meant for this like cookie cutter business like
Speaker 1: dating married to a business guy, and it's just so different.
Speaker 1: And I feel like when she says crap together. That's
Speaker 1: kind of what she means, is like kind of what
Speaker 1: we from the South always thought we would have. Which
Speaker 1: And for the record, sidebar, I do have a business
Speaker 1: degree from an accredited four year university, so you know,
Speaker 1: there's always the fallback potential there. It's for me to
Speaker 1: get my crap together. But once the tube gets out
Speaker 1: of the toothpaste, it's a little bit harder to put
Speaker 1: to toothpaste gets out of two, it's a little hard
Speaker 1: to get put back in. So I get where she's
Speaker 1: coming from leaving the bachelorette, because the bachelorette you deal
Speaker 1: with these guys and other jobs are former football player, logger,
Speaker 1: you know, stuff like this. And I think that she
Speaker 1: wants to me having their stuff together is having a
Speaker 1: job and having a place to live without roommates. That's
Speaker 1: how I would say it. Personally. I agree with you, Dean.
Speaker 1: Do you do not have your stuff together? And still
Speaker 1: you have found of someone and that's fantastic, But I
Speaker 1: don't think you would fall up. But here I Mark,
Speaker 1: I appreciate you weighing in, and I'm going to retort
Speaker 1: it real quick. Uh, I don't think she wants someone
Speaker 1: with a job, because if I was dating someone with
Speaker 1: a job, I would agree. I'm different because I would
Speaker 1: actually like that because I would get forty to sixty
Speaker 1: hours a week by myself. But I think I think
Speaker 1: if Kaylin was dating someone with the job, she wouldn't
Speaker 1: like it because we like spending time together because both
Speaker 1: of us have the freedom of not having to be
Speaker 1: in an office from nine in the morning to five
Speaker 1: in the afternoon. I don't necessarily think Hannah would thrive. Again,
Speaker 1: not knowing much about her, I don't think she would
Speaker 1: thrive with someone that has like the nine to five,
Speaker 1: you know, business financial advisor type job sort of thing,
Speaker 1: because she, in my un informed opinion, she would want
Speaker 1: to be spending time with this person. She would want
Speaker 1: to have the ability to go places and do these things.
Speaker 1: But you can't do that with someone that quote unquote
Speaker 1: has her together. I don't know, maybe, but I think
Speaker 1: we're also projecting our relationship and things that think everyone
Speaker 1: wants what we have, which I don't think everyone wants
Speaker 1: what we have. I mean, yes, we're definitely projecting here.
Speaker 1: But I guess my point is it's like I think
Speaker 1: that maybe she's saying that because she thinks that's what
Speaker 1: that's kind of like what you said. She thinks she
Speaker 1: said she thinks she needs to say that, so she's
Speaker 1: saying it. But I wouldn't be surprised if we see
Speaker 1: Hannah in a relationship down the line with someone like
Speaker 1: more in like the Hollywood scene that's not singer. I
Speaker 1: could travel within. I could see her being with like
Speaker 1: like the star of a television show. Yeah, that's still together,
Speaker 1: I suppose, But I think I don't know what do Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: podcast host? Uh yeah, blogger, sure why not? I don't know,
Speaker 1: but um, but yeah, that's our take on it. I guess. Okay,
Speaker 1: So Derek Peth is thirty three and engaged to Saffron Vader,
Speaker 1: who is twenty three after one year of dating. What
Speaker 1: are your bo Derek is engaged to a girl named
Speaker 1: Saffron after a year of dating. Huh. I saw this
Speaker 1: the other day, and um, I don't really have any
Speaker 1: thoughts on it. Derek seems like a nice guy. He Uh,
Speaker 1: it's he obviously kind of jumped the gun before get
Speaker 1: engaged to Taylor pretty early on in their relationship that
Speaker 1: obviously did not work out. Uh. You never want to
Speaker 1: say like someone's got a history of getting engaged prematurely.
Speaker 1: The age difference probably is a little like concerning to
Speaker 1: a lot of people, but like, who the heck knows Um.
Speaker 1: I think whenever you see like one of of whenever
Speaker 1: I see one of my peers from the show, especially
Speaker 1: get engaged with someone, like the first instinct is always like, oh,
Speaker 1: you're so happy for them, It's fantastic. You never like
Speaker 1: wish ill will upon anyone. And I think, I don't
Speaker 1: think this case is any different. Like obviously I hope
Speaker 1: Derek and his fiancee Um are able to make it work,
Speaker 1: but it's just such a it's such an interesting time
Speaker 1: where it's like you see all these engagements, see all
Speaker 1: these relationships, they get publicized so quickly, they progress so quickly,
Speaker 1: and then they implode so quickly. And I don't think
Speaker 1: that's going to happen with Derek. I hope it doesn't happen,
Speaker 1: but it's just like kind of unfortunate for everyone involved
Speaker 1: that like the expectation for it is to happen, and
Speaker 1: like if it doesn't happen, then everyone is like surprised,
Speaker 1: like pleasantly surprised. So I hope that we are all
Speaker 1: pleasantly surprised, and I hope that they make it the distance.
Speaker 1: I I still don't know. I'd have never met her.
Speaker 1: I haven't talked to Derek since Paradise. So that's that's
Speaker 1: my ft overview of the whole situation. What do you
Speaker 1: think I mean? Yeah, when you said it's weird people
Speaker 1: dating in right now, it's kind of like The Bachelor,
Speaker 1: but for a much longer period of time where you're
Speaker 1: living with this person. You're stuck with this person where
Speaker 1: you wouldn't be normally because you're likely working from home
Speaker 1: and you've just got way more time. So maybe because
Speaker 1: of that that's why. But also on the flip side
Speaker 1: of that, like, yes, there's a there's a pro side
Speaker 1: to that, like positive, but there's also a big negative
Speaker 1: side too. Let's say you start dating someone in February,
Speaker 1: like at the height, at the beginning of COVID lockdowns, etcetera.
Speaker 1: It's like the only the only, um uh, the only
Speaker 1: dimension that you know this person in is through like
Speaker 1: the lens of working from home for the past seven
Speaker 1: months and spending all this time together. But when things
Speaker 1: like get back to normal and restore and like let's
Speaker 1: say Saffron has to choose an international model. Let's say
Speaker 1: she has to go to London for a shoot for
Speaker 1: two months, and they can't spend every waking moment together,
Speaker 1: Like maybe things will start to deteriorate from there. I
Speaker 1: guess my point is is, yes, there are like many
Speaker 1: there's many positive takeaways from like this, uh this lockdown
Speaker 1: and this like shelter in place type stuff, but there's
Speaker 1: also a lot of uh cliffhangers and questions still to
Speaker 1: be answered, because it's like normalcy is going to be
Speaker 1: restored at some point, whether it's next year or the
Speaker 1: year after or whatever. And then when that happens, then
Speaker 1: what are you gonna do? Because they go back to
Speaker 1: doing what they need to do survive. You go back
Speaker 1: to doing what you need to do survive, and that's
Speaker 1: very different than what you've been doing that's proven to
Speaker 1: be successful, but will it be successful moving forward. It's
Speaker 1: kind of like um, quarantine puppies, like they don't know
Speaker 1: how to socialize, and not to compare relationships to that,
Speaker 1: but like you go back to normal and suddenly your
Speaker 1: dog doesn't know how to socialize, and then in relationships
Speaker 1: quarantine relationships, suddenly you're doing things and hanging out with
Speaker 1: your friend and you're not with the seven and there's
Speaker 1: a lot of codependency that has been developed and might
Speaker 1: not be great. Codependency is huge, and I always try
Speaker 1: to pull away from the codependency. I hate codependency. I
Speaker 1: think it's one of the worst things you could ever
Speaker 1: possibly get into. Uh And and so in our situation, obviously,
Speaker 1: we've been fortunate in the sense that we started dating
Speaker 1: what middle of twenty nineteen, so we had I would
Speaker 1: say eight months of dating. Well, we had like six
Speaker 1: months of dating. I broke my leg and then we
Speaker 1: had two months and then COVID hits and then it's
Speaker 1: been eight months from there, so whatever. So we've kind
Speaker 1: of us to have gone through a lot of things. Um,
Speaker 1: but I do think that there are still times where
Speaker 1: you and I, Kalen and I are like, Okay, we're
Speaker 1: gonna like not like pull back, but like we've spent
Speaker 1: too much time together. So I'm going to go away
Speaker 1: for a weekend. I'm going to do this for a
Speaker 1: week and then I'll see you when I get back
Speaker 1: type of thing. And I think that's healthy because that's
Speaker 1: kind of more that's like more realistic as to what
Speaker 1: normal life is going to be like rather than just
Speaker 1: being cooped up like and in our situation too. And
Speaker 1: I'm sorry all these tangential things. Um, if I was,
Speaker 1: let's say, the past eight months were taken as a
Speaker 1: sample for Dean Unglert's life, uh within you know, COVID
Speaker 1: and quarantine and all these things, I would look so
Speaker 1: so bad because all I've done for the past eight
Speaker 1: months is sit on my butt and play Call of
Speaker 1: Duty and play golf four times a week. And uh,
Speaker 1: in my opinion, that's not who I am in my
Speaker 1: like vision of myself, that's not who I am. So
Speaker 1: I don't think that if I were to have started
Speaker 1: dating someone eight months ago while those were the only
Speaker 1: things that I've done, it wouldn't be an accurate representation
Speaker 1: of myself. Um. And so that's my one concern, that's
Speaker 1: my one hesitation to all of these quarantine relationships. But
Speaker 1: like I said, and like Caitlin said, we hope nothing
Speaker 1: but the best for our friend Derek Path. So anyways,
Speaker 1: that's gonna do it for this week's episode of Help
Speaker 1: I Suck at Dating? Um, we were so blessed today
Speaker 1: to have the wonderful and credible Kayla Miller Keys on
Speaker 1: the podcast as a co host. It's so funny to
Speaker 1: me because we we had Kylin as a co host
Speaker 1: today and I feel like all I did today was
Speaker 1: talk talk, talk and talk and talk and talks. That's
Speaker 1: how life is. You think you think I talk more
Speaker 1: than you do in this relationship. Okay, No, that's not
Speaker 1: the case. I don't know. Maybe I just feel like
Speaker 1: a responsibility to talk more because I don't want you
Speaker 1: to feel like you have to. Ah, you're just doing
Speaker 1: such a good job. I don't want to interrupt. That's
Speaker 1: very kind of you. Anyways, that's it for this week's
Speaker 1: episode of Help I Suck at Dating? UM. If you can't,
Speaker 1: I can't wait to get any more of Kalin. Be
Speaker 1: sure to check out her YouTube channel Kyla Miller Keys
Speaker 1: dot YouTube dot com, whatever it is, UM, and thank
Speaker 1: you to Jared for taking the week off. As always,
Speaker 1: she is slacking and I am just putting this show
Speaker 1: on my back and doing my absolute best to carry
Speaker 1: us to the promised Land. Next week. We were talking
Speaker 1: to Caleb and Justine from Love Island. You're not gonna
Speaker 1: want to miss that interview because they are fantastic and
Speaker 1: they are seemingly still going strong, so tune in for that.
Speaker 1: We're gonna have Jared back. I'm going to be back
Speaker 1: as well. So we look forward to Senior next week,
Speaker 1: where maybe we will suck just a little bit less.
Speaker 1: Follow help by Suck at Dating on I Heart Radio
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to podcasts.