WEBVTT - Group Therapy Meets World

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<v Speaker 1>Pod Meets World Live presented by our pals at Hyundai

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<v Speaker 1>is right around the corner, and no matter where you live,

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<v Speaker 1>you can join us and watch the stream. We're bringing

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<v Speaker 1>the bullies together for the first time in thirty years.

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<v Speaker 1>From the moment we interviewed them, I knew we wanted

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<v Speaker 1>to make it happen. So many of you asked for it,

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<v Speaker 1>and our dreams are coming true. We are going to

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<v Speaker 1>see them reunited on stage and all of you can

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<v Speaker 1>witness it with us. So our stream is going to

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<v Speaker 1>be available on May first. Will where can people go.

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<v Speaker 2>They can go to moment dot Co slash Pod meets World.

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<v Speaker 2>And I can't believe that we actually pulled this off.

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<v Speaker 2>This wee I can't really really cool. I can't wait.

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<v Speaker 1>I really the number one thing I'm looking forward to,

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<v Speaker 1>and there are so many things I'm looking forward to.

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<v Speaker 1>The fact that it's number one is pretty special.

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<v Speaker 2>That's pretty awesome. Because again, when you go from there

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<v Speaker 2>and you've also got Betsy Randall coming in, You've got

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<v Speaker 2>Lisa Lowly thing. I mean, this is insane. It is

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<v Speaker 2>going to be such an awesome show.

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<v Speaker 1>I can also everyone's favorite Mister Turner is going to

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<v Speaker 1>be there, mister Anthony Tyler Quinn, So I promise you

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<v Speaker 1>you're not going to want to miss it again. You

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<v Speaker 1>can go to moment dot Co slash podmeets World and

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<v Speaker 1>you can get your ticket for the stream, which becomes

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<v Speaker 1>available on May first, and you will have seven days

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<v Speaker 1>to watch it after that, so no real rush to

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<v Speaker 1>see it that day on May first.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. I didn't mention Tony because I just can't. I

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<v Speaker 2>can't with all these people. I can't do it anymore.

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<v Speaker 2>There's too much I've got. My head's gonna explode. I

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<v Speaker 2>can't wait.

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<v Speaker 3>Rider.

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<v Speaker 2>After much shaming, and let's be honest with each other,

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<v Speaker 2>as we've been friends for so long, that's what it's been.

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<v Speaker 2>After much horrible shaming coming from you. This morning, I

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<v Speaker 2>purchased a thin, small wallet.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh yes, thank you. I couldn't couldn't take it because

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<v Speaker 3>stands a wallet like like you know, three hundred or

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<v Speaker 3>three thousand page novel size wallet and everything in there.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh my god, it was around Yeah please please what membership?

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<v Speaker 3>But Blockbuster, do you still yours?

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<v Speaker 2>Is gone? Thank you. Blockbuster is responsible for my marriage,

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<v Speaker 2>by the way, literally responsible for my marriage. So let's

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<v Speaker 2>have we not.

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<v Speaker 3>Have we not talked about this.

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<v Speaker 2>No, So Sue and I dated right after Sadness. No,

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<v Speaker 2>I know, I love Blockbuster. I love it.

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<v Speaker 3>I hope your marriage is not based on It's based

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<v Speaker 3>on trust and mutual respect. It's a lot of other things.

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<v Speaker 2>It's based on Blockbuster. We got the love and the trust.

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<v Speaker 2>That's the easy part, the getting films nowadays. No, so

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<v Speaker 2>Sue and I dated start dated first right after boy

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<v Speaker 2>me t World and the timing just wasn't right, and

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<v Speaker 2>we met again. I mean we stayed friendly for years,

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<v Speaker 2>but then really met again in the parking lot in

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<v Speaker 2>front of Blockbuster because I was going to return a movie.

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<v Speaker 2>And when we met again, I asked her out and

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<v Speaker 2>we've been together ever since. So five years after I

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<v Speaker 2>met her in front.

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<v Speaker 3>Of me were returning?

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<v Speaker 2>I don't, but I think it was a Tuesday, because

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<v Speaker 2>that's when the new movies come out, or did I

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<v Speaker 2>proposed to her five years later on that same spot

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<v Speaker 2>where the Blockbuster used to be in our in our

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<v Speaker 2>Ralph slot, not the rot up. Yes, so that I

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<v Speaker 2>proposed to see you on the same spot. Kin goes, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>But so Blockbuster without Blockbuster, without me returning that movie?

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<v Speaker 2>Who knows?

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<v Speaker 3>So see this is why we need video stores or

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<v Speaker 3>great places to go.

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<v Speaker 1>May I interest you in coming to shop at the

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<v Speaker 1>DVD of Husband Jensen car producer of this podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah we got with my house is the same and

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<v Speaker 2>I love it. Or his alphabetical alphabetical.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, his or alphabetical and he's yeah, it's yeah, that's

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<v Speaker 1>how they should be. Okay, right, whatever you guys say.

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<v Speaker 3>So you've gone to a slim wallet.

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<v Speaker 2>I've got how many slim wallet?

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<v Speaker 3>How many things do you have in there? Now?

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<v Speaker 2>Twelve? But no, no, I just ordered it this morning. It

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<v Speaker 2>carries twelve cards, but that's including like my license, and

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<v Speaker 2>you know, I have a card to get into this.

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<v Speaker 2>I have a priority passed for the airport. I have

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<v Speaker 2>blah blah blah blah blah. So and then I have

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<v Speaker 2>like two credit cards, my last card, like I know,

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<v Speaker 2>your weirdest card, my weirdest card. Oh that's a tough question.

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<v Speaker 2>I found two debit cards from years ago that I'd

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<v Speaker 2>never activated from a bank I did not know I

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<v Speaker 2>was part of.

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<v Speaker 4>Do you have accounts there?

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know. But I have a debit card with

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<v Speaker 2>the sticker still on it, like.

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<v Speaker 3>Five dollars in your jacket pocket. Will's going to discover

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<v Speaker 3>I have ten?

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<v Speaker 2>Seriously, I was seriously that, but no I do. I

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<v Speaker 2>I kept But then I have things like so the

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<v Speaker 2>first again sentimental. When I moved to California when I

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<v Speaker 2>was sixteen, my mom hand wrote me a note about

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<v Speaker 2>how much she loved me and how proud she was

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<v Speaker 2>of me. And I still have that in my wallet,

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<v Speaker 2>like I carry that with me everywhere.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, I just had a memory, Will of your original

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<v Speaker 3>driver's license? You kept your hat on?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, they didn't say anything. Ever seen a driver's license

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<v Speaker 2>with a baseball hat? I remember?

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<v Speaker 3>Do you still have that driver's license? No? No things.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you remember your driver's test? Because my driver's test

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<v Speaker 2>from the time I got into the car to the

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<v Speaker 2>time I parked the car to be the test being done,

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<v Speaker 2>it was less than ninety seconds.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, my driver's test was pretty short, I remember, but.

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<v Speaker 4>Mine was not. I had to get on the freeway

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<v Speaker 4>and get off the freeway.

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<v Speaker 2>You had a freeway drive, man, that's different.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, we had it in La.

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<v Speaker 2>Navigate the cows. And did you do years in La

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<v Speaker 2>or up north?

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<v Speaker 5>Right?

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<v Speaker 2>No?

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<v Speaker 3>No, I did mine up north because it was year

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<v Speaker 3>is better up there because if you did in La,

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<v Speaker 3>you might have to get on the free So I

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<v Speaker 3>did it up in Santa Rosa.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. So I have one other quick thing I want

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<v Speaker 2>to talk about because Danielle you said something that got

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<v Speaker 2>me to thinking, Okay, you hate it when I do that.

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<v Speaker 2>I know you said, and it's something that I think

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<v Speaker 2>we're going to talk about a little bit today. But

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<v Speaker 2>you said that when we were talking about ben about

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<v Speaker 2>being you know, defined as what you are when you're

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<v Speaker 2>a child. Can you think of anything other than say

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<v Speaker 2>actor or athlete where you are really defined by what

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<v Speaker 2>you did when you were a kid, I mean, any

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<v Speaker 2>other profession or anything that because you don't work so.

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<v Speaker 1>But there are like athletics like, for example, you could

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<v Speaker 1>be a cheerleader in school and then or a gym

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<v Speaker 1>like for example, my cousin was an incredible gymnast growing up.

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<v Speaker 1>Like I understand when I said once, well I was

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<v Speaker 1>a gymnast before I started acting, and my mom said, no,

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<v Speaker 1>you took gymnastics.

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<v Speaker 3>A gymnast accomplishment exactly.

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<v Speaker 1>There is a difference between I take gymnastics classes and

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<v Speaker 1>I am actually a gymnast. My cousin was a gymnast

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<v Speaker 1>and she did it from the time she was very

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<v Speaker 1>young all the way through school, and it was like

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<v Speaker 1>there was this anticipation of like, is she going to

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<v Speaker 1>go to the Olympics? Is she going to you know,

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<v Speaker 1>do it collegiately? And then you have this like kind

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<v Speaker 1>of thing on you, like, well what do you do now?

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<v Speaker 3>You know, like status, it's not about the activity because

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<v Speaker 3>you know I talked about you know when in college

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<v Speaker 3>I was friends with Josh Waitskin and it was chess, right,

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<v Speaker 3>like he was the chess and like and you know whatever,

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<v Speaker 3>you if you excel at anything at at an early

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<v Speaker 3>age and you reach a certain level of status, whether

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<v Speaker 3>that's a sport or a game or anything, I think

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<v Speaker 3>you know.

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<v Speaker 2>That definds you.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, ends up being it just it just yeah, you

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<v Speaker 3>spread your your status gets so uh, you know spread

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<v Speaker 3>to the world that people end up defining you buy

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<v Speaker 3>that identity whatever that is, or just.

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<v Speaker 4>Being incredibly smart or a class clown or not being

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<v Speaker 4>the smartest one in your family or like those things.

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<v Speaker 2>Those those things are me.

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<v Speaker 3>But I feel like those things happen on a like

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<v Speaker 3>an interpersonal local basis. Yeah, like a local Like that's

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<v Speaker 3>totally fine. And I think people are much more willing

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<v Speaker 3>to forgive those things or to let you outgrow those

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<v Speaker 3>things when you actually achieve status in a public mindset,

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<v Speaker 3>which is you know, I guess nowadays more possible with

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<v Speaker 3>social media for everybody, right, But yeah, I think that

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<v Speaker 3>there's a certain degree of like when you reach a

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<v Speaker 3>certain notoriety that it it becomes.

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<v Speaker 1>Different talking about it in a way that is relatable

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<v Speaker 1>for every person, because yes, you're right, there is a

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<v Speaker 1>different there's a different echelon of it, which is like, well,

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<v Speaker 1>now the public or a majority of the world or

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<v Speaker 1>country knows me as this thing, and now they want

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<v Speaker 1>to lock me in this thing. But literally, I think

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<v Speaker 1>every person has a certain that goes through a version

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<v Speaker 1>of that. Well, they feel like they are you know,

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<v Speaker 1>well I was the smartest one in my school, and

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<v Speaker 1>now I don't have a job that people would assume

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<v Speaker 1>that I should have, And so they feel this like

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<v Speaker 1>they feel a sense of failure if they don't live

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<v Speaker 1>up to expectations that maybe were placed on them or

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<v Speaker 1>that they set as as children. I take it back,

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<v Speaker 1>you can't set an expert. You can't do it as

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<v Speaker 1>a child. Other people put it on you as a child.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but It's one of those things like I think

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<v Speaker 2>about the people that have have done were very successful

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<v Speaker 2>in this industry as children and then moved on and

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<v Speaker 2>had great careers doing other things. Like I think of

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<v Speaker 2>like Stacy Keenan, who's one of the biggest prosecutors I

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<v Speaker 2>think out here in Los Angeles now, and Josh Saviano

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<v Speaker 2>from Wonder Years, I think also went off became a lawyer.

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<v Speaker 2>They're they're very successful in other careers, and I think

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<v Speaker 2>if you would talk to them, there's still a sense

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<v Speaker 2>of people like, oh, that's what you're doing now you

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<v Speaker 2>know where It's like you're now, Oh, I guess the

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<v Speaker 2>acting thing didn't work out. It's like I'm a powerful attorney.

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<v Speaker 2>I acted as a kid, and now I have this

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<v Speaker 2>other But there's always that sense of like, oh, okay,

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<v Speaker 2>I was just wondering what if there was anything else

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<v Speaker 2>of it?

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<v Speaker 3>But you're right, well, you know, I actually I have

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<v Speaker 3>a weird react. I've been having a weird reaction to

0:10:06.000 --> 0:10:10.360
<v Speaker 3>kihe Kwan's winning the Academy Award because on one hand,

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<v Speaker 3>I am so happy because I think he is phenomenal

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<v Speaker 3>and I've always loved him and I always, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>thought he was a great actor, and when I watched

0:10:18.040 --> 0:10:20.480
<v Speaker 3>the movie, I was like, oh, there, it is like

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<v Speaker 3>there is an incredible performer doing his thing, but there's

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<v Speaker 3>something in the narrative of his sort of like I'm

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<v Speaker 3>still here and like this is what I needed all

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<v Speaker 3>this time. That's a little bit of a bummer to me,

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<v Speaker 3>because it's like the goal should not be you didn't

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<v Speaker 3>exist until you came back into the public and won

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<v Speaker 3>the Academy Award. Like maybe I would, I would appreciate

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<v Speaker 3>the narrative being I've been living an awesome life this

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<v Speaker 3>entire time, and it's just interesting to me that, you know.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, he's obviously is just enjoying himself, so I'm

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<v Speaker 3>not blaming him, but the media narrative that is sort

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<v Speaker 3>of like he went away and he and Brandan Fraser

0:10:58.400 --> 0:11:02.559
<v Speaker 3>disappeared and now they've come back and accomplish something again

0:11:02.640 --> 0:11:05.280
<v Speaker 3>that makes their lives worth notice, and it's a little

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<v Speaker 3>bit of a bummer. I'm like, no, I think the

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<v Speaker 3>conversation should be they've always been able to live full,

0:11:10.600 --> 0:11:13.680
<v Speaker 3>fully realized lives, and we're maybe we should have been

0:11:13.720 --> 0:11:17.800
<v Speaker 3>celebrating them this entire time, and maybe not just like now,

0:11:18.160 --> 0:11:20.400
<v Speaker 3>you know, putting them back on a pedestal and saying

0:11:20.480 --> 0:11:22.959
<v Speaker 3>all right, yeah, came back, you did it. You know,

0:11:23.080 --> 0:11:25.439
<v Speaker 3>screw all those other you know people who's doing make

0:11:25.480 --> 0:11:25.840
<v Speaker 3>it here.

0:11:26.320 --> 0:11:31.520
<v Speaker 4>That is also just a criticism of award culture, you know,

0:11:31.800 --> 0:11:32.720
<v Speaker 4>the idea.

0:11:32.640 --> 0:11:38.080
<v Speaker 3>Of in status recognition, yes this week, you're huge.

0:11:37.920 --> 0:11:40.920
<v Speaker 1>Next week, that the work you're doing or the work

0:11:41.000 --> 0:11:45.640
<v Speaker 1>you did only mean something when everyone collectively says, fine,

0:11:45.679 --> 0:11:47.120
<v Speaker 1>the work you're doing means something.

0:11:47.480 --> 0:11:50.920
<v Speaker 2>There's also something about rich, beautiful people getting together to

0:11:51.000 --> 0:11:54.200
<v Speaker 2>pat themselves on the back that just I find dicky.

0:11:54.520 --> 0:11:58.120
<v Speaker 1>I I don't like it either. I don't like it either,

0:11:58.160 --> 0:12:00.199
<v Speaker 1>but I was nominated for me and I went and

0:12:00.280 --> 0:12:01.000
<v Speaker 1>I wanted to win.

0:12:02.040 --> 0:12:06.480
<v Speaker 3>Yeah. I think it's very important to have cultural prestige. Like,

0:12:06.600 --> 0:12:09.160
<v Speaker 3>I think it's nice to have because otherwise it's just

0:12:09.240 --> 0:12:11.760
<v Speaker 3>about money and box office like and I think that

0:12:11.880 --> 0:12:14.400
<v Speaker 3>that is right. But that's what I mean, Like, I

0:12:14.480 --> 0:12:17.719
<v Speaker 3>feel like the point of any awards ceremony is to

0:12:17.880 --> 0:12:19.559
<v Speaker 3>put it into the hands of the people with that

0:12:19.679 --> 0:12:22.560
<v Speaker 3>work within the industry, like or not, or critics right

0:12:22.640 --> 0:12:25.360
<v Speaker 3>like you have. But I think that it's important to

0:12:25.440 --> 0:12:28.679
<v Speaker 3>have other measures of success beyond just making money and

0:12:28.720 --> 0:12:31.719
<v Speaker 3>being being, you know, the biggest box office number. So

0:12:32.200 --> 0:12:35.199
<v Speaker 3>I think that the Academy Awards are really great for that,

0:12:35.400 --> 0:12:36.880
<v Speaker 3>and I think what I love about it is that

0:12:36.960 --> 0:12:39.640
<v Speaker 3>the people are nominated within their categories by their peers,

0:12:39.720 --> 0:12:42.199
<v Speaker 3>by people who are accomplished in that. And I think

0:12:42.600 --> 0:12:45.040
<v Speaker 3>for the most part, the Academy Awards usually I think

0:12:45.120 --> 0:12:47.679
<v Speaker 3>the nominations get it pretty right. Like I think that

0:12:47.760 --> 0:12:50.760
<v Speaker 3>they tend to have a good, good slate of films

0:12:50.800 --> 0:12:51.320
<v Speaker 3>from the years.

0:12:51.440 --> 0:12:53.240
<v Speaker 2>Not for me, it's never those award shows have never

0:12:53.320 --> 0:12:53.679
<v Speaker 2>been for me.

0:12:54.280 --> 0:12:57.199
<v Speaker 1>Well, I'd like to jump into our episode because I'm

0:12:57.559 --> 0:12:58.960
<v Speaker 1>really excited about this one.

0:12:59.200 --> 0:13:01.160
<v Speaker 4>So welcome to Pod meets World.

0:13:01.240 --> 0:13:04.600
<v Speaker 2>I'm Daniel Fischl, I'm right or Strong, and I'm Wilfredell.

0:13:05.720 --> 0:13:09.800
<v Speaker 1>So we have mentioned it on the show a few times,

0:13:10.559 --> 0:13:14.040
<v Speaker 1>sometimes in a jokey way, like, oh, you know what

0:13:14.120 --> 0:13:17.600
<v Speaker 1>would be cool is if we did this and here

0:13:17.679 --> 0:13:20.840
<v Speaker 1>we are, so do we already regret saying that maybe

0:13:20.880 --> 0:13:25.319
<v Speaker 1>we would bring a therapist on to talk to us about.

0:13:25.200 --> 0:13:28.440
<v Speaker 2>I'm keeping my mind. I'm keeping an open mind. That's

0:13:28.440 --> 0:13:30.800
<v Speaker 2>all I can say. I'm keeping an open mind. Good.

0:13:30.960 --> 0:13:33.720
<v Speaker 1>Well, that brings me to giving you a little bit

0:13:33.760 --> 0:13:38.040
<v Speaker 1>of backstory on Kira Muscara, who is a licensed clinical

0:13:38.200 --> 0:13:43.280
<v Speaker 1>social worker. She is a former actor turned therapist specializing

0:13:43.480 --> 0:13:48.160
<v Speaker 1>in well being for actors, female empowerment, and friendship dynamics.

0:13:49.800 --> 0:13:54.640
<v Speaker 1>She holds a BFA in acting from NYU Tish School

0:13:54.720 --> 0:13:57.920
<v Speaker 1>of the Arts and a master Yes and a Master

0:13:58.080 --> 0:14:01.600
<v Speaker 1>of Science in Social Work for Columbia University.

0:14:02.200 --> 0:14:04.360
<v Speaker 3>Oh, I like that's school. Yes, you do.

0:14:04.640 --> 0:14:06.440
<v Speaker 4>She's basically filming it with us.

0:14:08.679 --> 0:14:10.960
<v Speaker 2>Actually, Hogwarts was my safety school. That's a whole different thing.

0:14:11.520 --> 0:14:15.960
<v Speaker 1>Kira currently works in private practice providing individual psychotherapy consulting

0:14:16.120 --> 0:14:20.080
<v Speaker 1>and is hired for speaking engagements in educational and entertainment spaces.

0:14:20.600 --> 0:14:24.240
<v Speaker 1>And now, after listening to every single episode of our

0:14:24.320 --> 0:14:27.920
<v Speaker 1>podcast episodes, she is going to dissect the inner and

0:14:28.200 --> 0:14:32.360
<v Speaker 1>outer thoughts of three former child stars on pod Meats World.

0:14:32.800 --> 0:14:38.320
<v Speaker 1>So let's please welcome Kira Mascara. Yeah, guys, what if

0:14:38.360 --> 0:14:40.640
<v Speaker 1>I said please welcome Kira.

0:14:40.480 --> 0:14:48.280
<v Speaker 4>And then it was Dusty that would surprise he's here

0:14:48.400 --> 0:14:50.360
<v Speaker 4>for all of the unpackings.

0:14:51.720 --> 0:14:52.240
<v Speaker 2>Exactly.

0:14:52.440 --> 0:14:54.880
<v Speaker 4>Well, thank you Kira for being here with us.

0:14:55.080 --> 0:14:59.960
<v Speaker 1>And my first question is that we are now more

0:15:00.000 --> 0:15:03.200
<v Speaker 1>more than halfway through season two of our podcast and

0:15:03.360 --> 0:15:06.320
<v Speaker 1>of Boy meets world, and this is you know, probably

0:15:06.400 --> 0:15:09.680
<v Speaker 1>something we should have asked many months ago, but was

0:15:09.840 --> 0:15:14.720
<v Speaker 1>analyzing ourselves as teens thirty years later for thousands of strangers.

0:15:14.840 --> 0:15:19.640
<v Speaker 4>A bad idea, I would say, short answer.

0:15:19.720 --> 0:15:21.960
<v Speaker 2>No, okay, been amazing.

0:15:22.720 --> 0:15:24.960
<v Speaker 5>I think something that's so important when we're looking at

0:15:25.680 --> 0:15:30.080
<v Speaker 5>childhood and adolescent memories. We store the information through the

0:15:30.200 --> 0:15:33.440
<v Speaker 5>lens of a child or adolescent, and so it's so

0:15:33.600 --> 0:15:37.680
<v Speaker 5>important to unpack our experiences from that time through an

0:15:37.720 --> 0:15:40.320
<v Speaker 5>adult lens so that we can apply what we know

0:15:40.520 --> 0:15:43.240
<v Speaker 5>as adults to those experiences and those memories.

0:15:43.680 --> 0:15:45.040
<v Speaker 3>Oh wow, Yeah, that's.

0:15:44.920 --> 0:15:48.960
<v Speaker 1>Such a that's such a concise way of saying exactly

0:15:49.080 --> 0:15:50.840
<v Speaker 1>what we have been have been feeling.

0:15:51.080 --> 0:16:01.040
<v Speaker 5>Yes, thank you so much, but yet to like, as adults,

0:16:01.120 --> 0:16:04.480
<v Speaker 5>we have tools, we have support systems to turn to,

0:16:04.680 --> 0:16:08.160
<v Speaker 5>we have just perspective, and I think bringing all of

0:16:08.240 --> 0:16:11.080
<v Speaker 5>that to a childhood or adolescent memory can kind of

0:16:11.160 --> 0:16:13.320
<v Speaker 5>help us see it in a different way and store

0:16:13.400 --> 0:16:15.360
<v Speaker 5>it in a different place in our body and our

0:16:15.400 --> 0:16:16.200
<v Speaker 5>mind and our soul.

0:16:17.120 --> 0:16:19.840
<v Speaker 4>Wow, no, wonder, this is all felt so healing.

0:16:20.600 --> 0:16:23.120
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, why does Ryder like to steal so much?

0:16:23.840 --> 0:16:24.080
<v Speaker 3>Dude?

0:16:24.680 --> 0:16:27.560
<v Speaker 4>That might be a whole other episode she wasn't aware

0:16:27.600 --> 0:16:28.479
<v Speaker 4>of that backstory.

0:16:28.920 --> 0:16:31.360
<v Speaker 3>I think what's weird about our experience and what we're

0:16:31.400 --> 0:16:34.200
<v Speaker 3>doing here is that we have all of this actual

0:16:34.440 --> 0:16:35.720
<v Speaker 3>video footage.

0:16:35.480 --> 0:16:35.640
<v Speaker 2>You know.

0:16:35.880 --> 0:16:38.640
<v Speaker 3>So it's like I and I, you know, I've talked

0:16:38.640 --> 0:16:42.920
<v Speaker 3>about my insecurities just watching myself, but also just looking

0:16:43.000 --> 0:16:46.160
<v Speaker 3>at even your guys' faces, and how you know, something

0:16:46.240 --> 0:16:49.160
<v Speaker 3>starts happening in my brain when I'm watching my face

0:16:49.240 --> 0:16:51.520
<v Speaker 3>and our faces. It's like it takes me right back.

0:16:51.840 --> 0:16:54.200
<v Speaker 3>And so it's very weird to not only be processing

0:16:54.280 --> 0:16:59.280
<v Speaker 3>these experiences narratively together as a team, like which is

0:16:59.720 --> 0:17:03.840
<v Speaker 3>very therapeutic, right, psychotherapeutic to go back and talk it through,

0:17:04.040 --> 0:17:07.840
<v Speaker 3>we also have this like archival footage of us performing.

0:17:07.960 --> 0:17:12.760
<v Speaker 3>It's very bizarre and it's a unique experience, definitely, And.

0:17:12.840 --> 0:17:15.080
<v Speaker 5>I think what's important about you guys doing it publicly

0:17:15.119 --> 0:17:17.840
<v Speaker 5>because all that unpacking could be done behind the scenes

0:17:17.880 --> 0:17:20.320
<v Speaker 5>in your private lives and your own therapy, but doing

0:17:20.359 --> 0:17:22.720
<v Speaker 5>it publicly, what you guys have spoken about is how

0:17:23.240 --> 0:17:26.040
<v Speaker 5>it really allows you to take ownership of the experience

0:17:26.359 --> 0:17:30.359
<v Speaker 5>and ownership of who you are as people behind the characters.

0:17:30.960 --> 0:17:35.119
<v Speaker 1>Right, Yes, that is very true question for you because

0:17:35.160 --> 0:17:38.920
<v Speaker 1>you work a lot with actors. You specifically work with actors.

0:17:38.960 --> 0:17:41.520
<v Speaker 1>You're an actor or former actor yourself, I am, Yeah,

0:17:42.359 --> 0:17:46.000
<v Speaker 1>what issues do you find yourself dealing with more with

0:17:46.200 --> 0:17:49.320
<v Speaker 1>people from that profession than maybe other professions.

0:17:49.960 --> 0:17:52.600
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, it's a great question. I think so much of

0:17:52.680 --> 0:17:56.679
<v Speaker 5>it is self esteem, to be honest, to keep it real, general,

0:17:56.800 --> 0:17:59.800
<v Speaker 5>it's a lot of self esteem work and a lot

0:17:59.840 --> 0:18:02.280
<v Speaker 5>of work I think, especially with people who were actors

0:18:02.320 --> 0:18:07.560
<v Speaker 5>at a young age, is recognizing the parts of themselves

0:18:07.640 --> 0:18:10.480
<v Speaker 5>that needed to come forward, maybe at a younger age

0:18:10.560 --> 0:18:13.440
<v Speaker 5>than they would have otherwise, because they're working in this

0:18:13.640 --> 0:18:16.240
<v Speaker 5>kind of world and working in this environment that is

0:18:16.400 --> 0:18:20.719
<v Speaker 5>so adult and so so bizarre. To be frank, I mean,

0:18:21.000 --> 0:18:25.200
<v Speaker 5>it requires you to be the instrument yourself. There's no

0:18:25.359 --> 0:18:28.040
<v Speaker 5>separation between you and your work, and I think a

0:18:28.119 --> 0:18:31.040
<v Speaker 5>lot of the work with actors can be helping them

0:18:32.280 --> 0:18:34.560
<v Speaker 5>unblur those lines, if that makes sense.

0:18:35.119 --> 0:18:47.600
<v Speaker 4>Wow, Kira, let's jump into your questions.

0:18:47.720 --> 0:18:49.720
<v Speaker 1>I have so many things I could ask you, but

0:18:49.840 --> 0:18:52.520
<v Speaker 1>I know that you have some things you'd like to

0:18:52.560 --> 0:18:55.160
<v Speaker 1>talk to us about, so let's jump in with what you'd.

0:18:55.040 --> 0:18:55.320
<v Speaker 4>Like to know.

0:18:55.960 --> 0:18:56.320
<v Speaker 3>Awesome.

0:18:56.520 --> 0:18:58.480
<v Speaker 5>Well, I think my first question is I would love

0:18:58.560 --> 0:19:01.760
<v Speaker 5>to know during the time of filming the show. Did

0:19:01.840 --> 0:19:03.800
<v Speaker 5>any of you have therapists at that time?

0:19:04.920 --> 0:19:05.560
<v Speaker 4>Great question.

0:19:06.480 --> 0:19:06.879
<v Speaker 2>I did not.

0:19:07.560 --> 0:19:07.920
<v Speaker 3>I did not.

0:19:08.520 --> 0:19:09.480
<v Speaker 2>No, I didn't at the time.

0:19:10.200 --> 0:19:12.159
<v Speaker 4>Right, well, when did you start therapy?

0:19:12.600 --> 0:19:15.960
<v Speaker 2>I started therapy when I realized I needed it with

0:19:16.040 --> 0:19:18.760
<v Speaker 2>my anxiety. So it was I think it was probably

0:19:18.840 --> 0:19:20.680
<v Speaker 2>it was probably towards the end of the show, you know,

0:19:20.800 --> 0:19:22.199
<v Speaker 2>maybe ninety nine, two thousand, like.

0:19:22.200 --> 0:19:23.800
<v Speaker 3>The very while the show was going.

0:19:23.880 --> 0:19:25.760
<v Speaker 2>I don't I can't remember. I don't think it was

0:19:25.840 --> 0:19:26.840
<v Speaker 2>actually think, I don't think it.

0:19:26.880 --> 0:19:28.720
<v Speaker 3>Was the show. And I know, Yeah, my feeling is

0:19:28.760 --> 0:19:30.720
<v Speaker 3>that it wasn't until your early twenties. But you've said

0:19:30.840 --> 0:19:33.280
<v Speaker 3>that you started feeling anxiety by the end of Boy

0:19:33.359 --> 0:19:33.920
<v Speaker 3>Meets World.

0:19:34.520 --> 0:19:36.040
<v Speaker 2>Oh, no, I had my first. So I had my

0:19:36.119 --> 0:19:39.560
<v Speaker 2>first panic attack while filming at Double hockey Sticks. They

0:19:39.720 --> 0:19:41.520
<v Speaker 2>used the take so I can see where my panic

0:19:41.560 --> 0:19:44.560
<v Speaker 2>attack was. Wow, that was yeah, so I can actually

0:19:44.640 --> 0:19:46.800
<v Speaker 2>point and go first anxiety attack. So that's on film

0:19:46.880 --> 0:19:50.080
<v Speaker 2>for me too, in a scene with Gabrielle Union. And

0:19:50.160 --> 0:19:52.640
<v Speaker 2>that was like ninety eight, ninety nine, right, yeah, ninety eight,

0:19:53.000 --> 0:19:55.960
<v Speaker 2>And so then it was just then, you you know,

0:19:56.080 --> 0:19:57.680
<v Speaker 2>I got on medication which is why I put on

0:19:57.760 --> 0:19:59.800
<v Speaker 2>all the weight, and then I was just white knuckling

0:19:59.840 --> 0:20:02.400
<v Speaker 2>it until you realize that that's not going to help

0:20:02.960 --> 0:20:05.639
<v Speaker 2>for long anyway. And so by about two thousand I

0:20:05.720 --> 0:20:08.280
<v Speaker 2>went and I did everything in a finite amount of time.

0:20:08.320 --> 0:20:10.879
<v Speaker 2>You know, I'm not in therapy now. I don't know

0:20:10.960 --> 0:20:12.720
<v Speaker 2>why I need to say that, but and I haven't

0:20:12.720 --> 0:20:15.480
<v Speaker 2>been for many, many, many many years. But at the

0:20:15.560 --> 0:20:17.800
<v Speaker 2>time I needed it and it was life altering and

0:20:18.160 --> 0:20:18.720
<v Speaker 2>really helped.

0:20:19.560 --> 0:20:19.760
<v Speaker 5>Wow.

0:20:19.840 --> 0:20:22.080
<v Speaker 1>I actually thought you still were in therapy. I am

0:20:22.520 --> 0:20:24.840
<v Speaker 1>recently in therapy for the very first time in my life.

0:20:25.920 --> 0:20:27.720
<v Speaker 2>No, therapy's great, I just I haven't done it in

0:20:27.800 --> 0:20:31.000
<v Speaker 2>twenty ye Yeah. Yeah, how is that for you?

0:20:31.119 --> 0:20:34.000
<v Speaker 5>Daniel likes to have that in conjunction with this, which

0:20:34.000 --> 0:20:36.120
<v Speaker 5>has also been therapeutic in its own way.

0:20:36.880 --> 0:20:39.399
<v Speaker 1>Well, you know, I don't want to say that the

0:20:39.480 --> 0:20:41.840
<v Speaker 1>podcast is the reason that I'm in therapy, because it

0:20:42.200 --> 0:20:44.720
<v Speaker 1>isn't the entirety of the reason that I'm in therapy,

0:20:44.800 --> 0:20:47.399
<v Speaker 1>but to be honest, it is a large part of

0:20:47.440 --> 0:20:51.040
<v Speaker 1>the reason I'm in therapy. I think that there have

0:20:51.280 --> 0:20:54.240
<v Speaker 1>been a lot of things that have come up for

0:20:54.400 --> 0:20:57.840
<v Speaker 1>me over the course of doing the podcast, rewatching the

0:20:57.920 --> 0:21:03.879
<v Speaker 1>episodes about things and wondering how much of things that

0:21:04.000 --> 0:21:07.199
<v Speaker 1>happened in my childhood or in my past have impacted

0:21:07.840 --> 0:21:10.359
<v Speaker 1>who I am now as an adult and things that

0:21:10.400 --> 0:21:13.520
<v Speaker 1>I'd like to change about myself, Like you guys have

0:21:13.600 --> 0:21:17.240
<v Speaker 1>heard me joke about it, my perfectionism and my type

0:21:17.280 --> 0:21:21.680
<v Speaker 1>A miss and you know it's funny if it also

0:21:21.880 --> 0:21:27.080
<v Speaker 1>isn't so obnoxious, and if it also wasn't so for

0:21:27.480 --> 0:21:30.640
<v Speaker 1>lack of a better word, painful, Like it is time

0:21:30.800 --> 0:21:35.480
<v Speaker 1>consuming and exhausting for not only me to be so

0:21:36.520 --> 0:21:39.399
<v Speaker 1>type A and perfectionist in nature, but it is also

0:21:39.600 --> 0:21:42.520
<v Speaker 1>exhausting for the people around me who love me and

0:21:42.680 --> 0:21:45.360
<v Speaker 1>frustrating for them because they want me to be gentler

0:21:45.480 --> 0:21:49.680
<v Speaker 1>on myself and also gentler on others. And that comes

0:21:49.760 --> 0:21:52.399
<v Speaker 1>out in a lot of ways that I'm not proud of.

0:21:52.680 --> 0:21:54.960
<v Speaker 1>I'm quick to anger, I'm quick to raise my voice.

0:21:55.320 --> 0:21:58.520
<v Speaker 1>And having kids now, like those things are just so

0:21:58.800 --> 0:22:01.600
<v Speaker 1>important to me that my children don't grow up in

0:22:01.680 --> 0:22:04.080
<v Speaker 1>a house where they feel like they have to be

0:22:05.000 --> 0:22:07.639
<v Speaker 1>all be good all the time or be perfectionist all

0:22:07.680 --> 0:22:10.000
<v Speaker 1>the time in order to keep me happy, Like I'm

0:22:10.200 --> 0:22:13.240
<v Speaker 1>I just really don't want that and so I am

0:22:13.320 --> 0:22:15.320
<v Speaker 1>in therapy for the first time in my life, partially

0:22:15.359 --> 0:22:19.920
<v Speaker 1>because of this podcast, and I am struggling. One of

0:22:20.000 --> 0:22:21.720
<v Speaker 1>the things that we are starting to talk about is

0:22:21.840 --> 0:22:25.800
<v Speaker 1>like little girl Danielle and if I couldn't, I mean,

0:22:25.840 --> 0:22:27.639
<v Speaker 1>I couldn't tell you how hard it is to be

0:22:27.720 --> 0:22:30.800
<v Speaker 1>in touch with her. I'm like, it's so, I have

0:22:30.960 --> 0:22:33.600
<v Speaker 1>like a complete dissociation and I don't know why. And

0:22:33.720 --> 0:22:38.320
<v Speaker 1>we actually just had a very interesting experience where a

0:22:38.800 --> 0:22:45.480
<v Speaker 1>full and complete, repressed memory was revealed when Will remembered

0:22:45.560 --> 0:22:49.520
<v Speaker 1>something very clearly from an episode we shot where I

0:22:49.560 --> 0:22:52.600
<v Speaker 1>apparently burst into tears in front of a live studio audience.

0:22:52.800 --> 0:22:55.160
<v Speaker 4>And that is something.

0:22:55.520 --> 0:22:58.280
<v Speaker 1>Bursting into tears in front of two hundred and fifty

0:22:58.320 --> 0:23:00.880
<v Speaker 1>plus people is something.

0:23:00.720 --> 0:23:01.520
<v Speaker 4>You should remember.

0:23:01.640 --> 0:23:04.760
<v Speaker 3>And you're fellow cast, yeah, and everybody.

0:23:05.000 --> 0:23:07.640
<v Speaker 5>And the audience that will eventually be watching the show. Yeah,

0:23:07.640 --> 0:23:08.960
<v Speaker 5>I'm sure that's a piece as well.

0:23:09.640 --> 0:23:12.560
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, And like that is something you would think if

0:23:12.600 --> 0:23:14.880
<v Speaker 1>that happened to anybody listening right now, they go, yeah,

0:23:14.920 --> 0:23:16.920
<v Speaker 1>I'd remember that. I'd remember that if that happened to me,

0:23:16.960 --> 0:23:18.560
<v Speaker 1>if I burst into tears in front of that many

0:23:18.600 --> 0:23:21.160
<v Speaker 1>people and ran off. And yet I have no memory

0:23:21.240 --> 0:23:26.480
<v Speaker 1>of it, so I'm trying to, like, I'm trying to

0:23:26.560 --> 0:23:29.760
<v Speaker 1>get to those to those things, and it's it is.

0:23:30.040 --> 0:23:31.840
<v Speaker 1>If you thought the up the podcast was a lot

0:23:31.880 --> 0:23:36.200
<v Speaker 1>of unpacking, I'm also jumping into all kinds of real

0:23:36.280 --> 0:23:40.000
<v Speaker 1>life unpacking, which hopefully helps explain some of the reasons

0:23:40.040 --> 0:23:42.600
<v Speaker 1>why I am like a raw nerve and am like

0:23:42.800 --> 0:23:44.200
<v Speaker 1>could cry at the drop of a dime.

0:23:44.880 --> 0:23:47.560
<v Speaker 4>So I I'm loving it. I'm truly loving it.

0:23:47.880 --> 0:23:49.000
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, that's great.

0:23:49.040 --> 0:23:51.960
<v Speaker 5>I mean that segues so well into kind of what

0:23:52.080 --> 0:23:54.760
<v Speaker 5>I was going to move into. And I'm kind of

0:23:54.800 --> 0:23:57.159
<v Speaker 5>going to give some information before I ask some questions

0:23:57.160 --> 0:23:59.080
<v Speaker 5>that will relate to what I'm saying, so that when

0:23:59.119 --> 0:24:00.960
<v Speaker 5>I'm using these words, you know what I'm talking about.

0:24:01.880 --> 0:24:03.600
<v Speaker 4>So a lot of the work that I do is

0:24:04.000 --> 0:24:04.600
<v Speaker 4>parts work.

0:24:04.640 --> 0:24:08.160
<v Speaker 5>It stems from a type of therapy called internal family systems,

0:24:08.560 --> 0:24:13.040
<v Speaker 5>basically looking at our internal ecosystem as a family as

0:24:13.320 --> 0:24:15.440
<v Speaker 5>all these different parts of us that make up who

0:24:15.480 --> 0:24:18.760
<v Speaker 5>we are. And a lot of that includes, like you said,

0:24:18.880 --> 0:24:21.680
<v Speaker 5>little Danielle, that's a part of you too, and that

0:24:21.720 --> 0:24:25.240
<v Speaker 5>could be multiple parts. Little Danielle can be little Danielle

0:24:25.240 --> 0:24:27.520
<v Speaker 5>who was loving being on stage and being the center

0:24:27.560 --> 0:24:30.520
<v Speaker 5>of attention. Danielle can be that part that was like

0:24:31.280 --> 0:24:35.119
<v Speaker 5>feeling really beaten down and hurt or insecure. And when

0:24:35.160 --> 0:24:37.200
<v Speaker 5>we look at all of our parts within us, a

0:24:37.280 --> 0:24:39.879
<v Speaker 5>lot of times it could be things like you said, perfectionism,

0:24:40.000 --> 0:24:42.040
<v Speaker 5>that could be a part. A part of us can

0:24:42.080 --> 0:24:46.200
<v Speaker 5>be I'm a fierce caretaker. I really am passionate about

0:24:46.200 --> 0:24:48.160
<v Speaker 5>taking care of my loved ones. These are all different

0:24:48.200 --> 0:24:50.560
<v Speaker 5>parts of us. So if I ask you questions and

0:24:50.640 --> 0:24:52.240
<v Speaker 5>I use the word parts, that's kind of what I'm

0:24:52.240 --> 0:24:52.680
<v Speaker 5>referring to.

0:24:52.680 --> 0:24:54.800
<v Speaker 4>Okay, I love it. I started crying just hearing you

0:24:54.880 --> 0:24:55.399
<v Speaker 4>talk about it.

0:24:57.480 --> 0:24:58.240
<v Speaker 2>Going to be a very.

0:25:00.119 --> 0:25:05.400
<v Speaker 5>All come out. And so when you're looking at that experience,

0:25:05.480 --> 0:25:07.119
<v Speaker 5>like you said, of like that is so bizarre to me.

0:25:07.160 --> 0:25:10.640
<v Speaker 5>Why don't I remember that anyone would remember that? It's

0:25:10.800 --> 0:25:14.159
<v Speaker 5>because another part came forward to protect you from the

0:25:14.240 --> 0:25:17.640
<v Speaker 5>man as it was too painful to remember that little

0:25:17.720 --> 0:25:21.800
<v Speaker 5>Danielle is like frozen in there. And what happens is

0:25:21.880 --> 0:25:25.639
<v Speaker 5>the other parts of us have feelings about our different parts,

0:25:25.800 --> 0:25:28.159
<v Speaker 5>and there's probably another part of you that's like, I

0:25:28.440 --> 0:25:31.800
<v Speaker 5>hate that little girl that was embarrassed and ashamed and crying.

0:25:32.240 --> 0:25:33.280
<v Speaker 5>I want to get rid of her.

0:25:33.680 --> 0:25:35.480
<v Speaker 2>So I'm gonna take over and you're not going to

0:25:35.520 --> 0:25:36.840
<v Speaker 2>remember that memory. Wow.

0:25:37.960 --> 0:25:41.560
<v Speaker 5>And it's so painful because little Danielle is still in

0:25:41.640 --> 0:25:44.040
<v Speaker 5>there and she wants to be heard just as much

0:25:44.080 --> 0:25:46.040
<v Speaker 5>of that as that other voice is trying.

0:25:45.840 --> 0:25:46.280
<v Speaker 3>To be heard.

0:25:48.119 --> 0:25:50.440
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, there's still a part of me that hates that

0:25:50.480 --> 0:25:52.800
<v Speaker 1>little Danielle that burst into tears. There's a part of

0:25:52.840 --> 0:25:54.880
<v Speaker 1>me that hates the big Danielle burst into tears too.

0:25:55.520 --> 0:26:00.639
<v Speaker 1>And I like that, like big a part of me

0:26:00.760 --> 0:26:02.639
<v Speaker 1>that always wants to just be like I need to

0:26:02.640 --> 0:26:04.600
<v Speaker 1>get things done. It's time to get things done. You

0:26:04.680 --> 0:26:06.159
<v Speaker 1>don't have time to talk about this. You don't have

0:26:06.240 --> 0:26:07.679
<v Speaker 1>time to grieve this, you don't have time.

0:26:07.600 --> 0:26:07.840
<v Speaker 3>To do that.

0:26:07.920 --> 0:26:09.000
<v Speaker 4>There are things to get done.

0:26:10.600 --> 0:26:13.000
<v Speaker 1>That part of me moving, Oh yeah, that part of

0:26:13.080 --> 0:26:18.240
<v Speaker 1>my ego is like whoa, she's a stallion and she's

0:26:18.480 --> 0:26:23.520
<v Speaker 1>very efficient and she's like super I mean, I also

0:26:23.600 --> 0:26:25.879
<v Speaker 1>give her a lot of credit because that person is

0:26:25.960 --> 0:26:27.920
<v Speaker 1>a lot of the reason I accomplish the goals that

0:26:27.960 --> 0:26:30.119
<v Speaker 1>I want to accomplish, and I checked them, gets a

0:26:30.160 --> 0:26:33.520
<v Speaker 1>lot done and is like super self starting and motivating

0:26:33.600 --> 0:26:35.359
<v Speaker 1>and takes a lot on her plate and can get

0:26:35.400 --> 0:26:37.200
<v Speaker 1>it all done like the superwoman version of me.

0:26:37.640 --> 0:26:38.399
<v Speaker 2>But yeah, that's her.

0:26:38.560 --> 0:26:39.720
<v Speaker 5>That's the part the Superwoman.

0:26:39.960 --> 0:26:42.679
<v Speaker 1>That's the only part of me I think is well developed. Honestly,

0:26:42.800 --> 0:26:44.639
<v Speaker 1>I think I think the other little parts of me

0:26:44.800 --> 0:26:47.200
<v Speaker 1>have just been things. I've just been like, nope, not

0:26:47.359 --> 0:26:47.840
<v Speaker 1>dealing with you.

0:26:48.760 --> 0:26:49.160
<v Speaker 4>Go away.

0:26:50.280 --> 0:26:52.480
<v Speaker 1>So I'm like just now starting to take the cap

0:26:52.520 --> 0:26:55.240
<v Speaker 1>off of those people. I'm not gonna hog this episode.

0:26:55.480 --> 0:26:59.840
<v Speaker 2>So yes, do about everybody's part.

0:27:00.080 --> 0:27:02.600
<v Speaker 5>But I think that makes so much sense that you're like,

0:27:02.720 --> 0:27:05.359
<v Speaker 5>that is the part of me that feels so developed,

0:27:05.400 --> 0:27:08.720
<v Speaker 5>because yeah, that was the part that got you on

0:27:08.800 --> 0:27:10.960
<v Speaker 5>a hit sitcom. That was the part that helped you

0:27:11.040 --> 0:27:13.760
<v Speaker 5>sustain being on a hit sitcom. I mean, you need

0:27:13.880 --> 0:27:17.520
<v Speaker 5>to be superwoman on set and in handling a situation

0:27:17.680 --> 0:27:20.080
<v Speaker 5>that is so bizarre, like we said, and that needs

0:27:20.160 --> 0:27:22.720
<v Speaker 5>to be moving, like that's how show business works.

0:27:22.800 --> 0:27:26.680
<v Speaker 1>And so also the only version that got validation, that's

0:27:26.720 --> 0:27:29.320
<v Speaker 1>also the one that gets the applause, that gets the

0:27:29.520 --> 0:27:31.879
<v Speaker 1>good job, that gets the look what you did, that

0:27:32.040 --> 0:27:35.400
<v Speaker 1>gets the like we're so proud of you, because that's

0:27:35.640 --> 0:27:38.200
<v Speaker 1>you know, like that's the one that achieves.

0:27:38.240 --> 0:27:41.000
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, the part that cried, like you said on set

0:27:41.040 --> 0:27:43.600
<v Speaker 5>and had to take a break and slow down production

0:27:43.760 --> 0:27:46.480
<v Speaker 5>and kind of hold everything up. That part doesn't work

0:27:46.480 --> 0:27:47.080
<v Speaker 5>in show business.

0:27:47.119 --> 0:27:50.040
<v Speaker 1>If no one was saying congratulations, Danielle, you just stopped

0:27:50.119 --> 0:27:53.159
<v Speaker 1>the show. Congratulations, people are waiting.

0:27:53.760 --> 0:27:54.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:27:54.240 --> 0:27:58.920
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, So Superwoman Danielle learned, I gotta be at the forefront.

0:27:58.960 --> 0:28:01.080
<v Speaker 5>I gotta be the driver's I'm going to get stuff

0:28:01.119 --> 0:28:03.000
<v Speaker 5>done because these other parts are slowing us down.

0:28:03.280 --> 0:28:09.240
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, and that's why they kind of disappear. Yeah, yeah, poof.

0:28:10.760 --> 0:28:11.800
<v Speaker 4>Let's talk about writer.

0:28:14.040 --> 0:28:28.600
<v Speaker 5>Writer, tell me about your part. Yeah, something writer that

0:28:28.760 --> 0:28:30.280
<v Speaker 5>I in a recent episode.

0:28:30.320 --> 0:28:31.359
<v Speaker 3>I know you're talking about.

0:28:32.200 --> 0:28:34.280
<v Speaker 5>I know there's been a lot of conversation about being

0:28:34.359 --> 0:28:37.000
<v Speaker 5>hard on ourselves watching everything back, it's I think the

0:28:37.080 --> 0:28:37.800
<v Speaker 5>curse of the actor.

0:28:37.840 --> 0:28:39.440
<v Speaker 4>It's impossible to not feel that way.

0:28:39.880 --> 0:28:42.280
<v Speaker 5>But I know you described it as feeling like, oh

0:28:42.400 --> 0:28:44.680
<v Speaker 5>my god, I just look so out of control, and

0:28:44.920 --> 0:28:48.560
<v Speaker 5>so I wrote it down not presentable, which I thought

0:28:48.720 --> 0:28:50.840
<v Speaker 5>was such like, ooh.

0:28:50.680 --> 0:28:52.440
<v Speaker 4>Those are powerful words.

0:28:52.600 --> 0:28:54.440
<v Speaker 2>What what was that like?

0:28:54.720 --> 0:28:55.960
<v Speaker 5>Is that how you felt at the time?

0:28:56.200 --> 0:28:57.680
<v Speaker 2>Out of control? Uh?

0:28:57.960 --> 0:29:00.320
<v Speaker 3>It's interesting because I was I was thinking about because

0:29:00.320 --> 0:29:02.440
<v Speaker 3>I you know, yeah, that episode recently just came out,

0:29:02.480 --> 0:29:06.720
<v Speaker 3>so I saw that clip on Instagram, and I was like, wow, yeah,

0:29:06.760 --> 0:29:10.080
<v Speaker 3>I mean, I think what's interesting is that when I

0:29:10.160 --> 0:29:12.360
<v Speaker 3>watched the clip of me saying I was out of

0:29:12.440 --> 0:29:16.760
<v Speaker 3>control and not presentable, I actually feel the opposite about

0:29:16.800 --> 0:29:21.920
<v Speaker 3>acting now, Like I actually think that in a certain

0:29:21.960 --> 0:29:24.040
<v Speaker 3>to a certain degree, being out of control and being

0:29:24.120 --> 0:29:27.800
<v Speaker 3>non presentable is good for actors, right, Like I think, really,

0:29:28.120 --> 0:29:30.640
<v Speaker 3>I think that the and I think, what part of

0:29:31.240 --> 0:29:34.440
<v Speaker 3>the my the part of you know, the reason I'm

0:29:34.440 --> 0:29:38.160
<v Speaker 3>not an actor anymore is that I realized that so

0:29:38.360 --> 0:29:42.720
<v Speaker 3>much of acting became being in control and being presentable,

0:29:43.240 --> 0:29:45.719
<v Speaker 3>and that ruined me as an actor, Like that actually

0:29:46.000 --> 0:29:50.080
<v Speaker 3>took away the essential thing that is great about acting,

0:29:50.120 --> 0:29:52.080
<v Speaker 3>which is that you're doing this high wire act, you're

0:29:52.120 --> 0:29:56.160
<v Speaker 3>feeling it, You're alive. So, for instance, I I was

0:29:56.200 --> 0:29:59.200
<v Speaker 3>thinking the other day, I remember one time, near the

0:29:59.320 --> 0:30:01.040
<v Speaker 3>end of Boy Me World, I finally went into the

0:30:01.160 --> 0:30:03.760
<v Speaker 3>editing room. We rarely went into the editing room, and

0:30:03.840 --> 0:30:07.520
<v Speaker 3>I remember sitting there watching the editors work on one

0:30:07.560 --> 0:30:11.480
<v Speaker 3>of our scenes and Karen mcchanne was our producer, and

0:30:13.240 --> 0:30:16.400
<v Speaker 3>they couldn't tell which take they were using from a

0:30:16.440 --> 0:30:20.720
<v Speaker 3>performance of mine, and they were like, oh, it's the

0:30:20.880 --> 0:30:23.600
<v Speaker 3>same in both of these takes, and Karen turned to

0:30:23.640 --> 0:30:26.120
<v Speaker 3>me and said, yeah, you and Ben are often it's

0:30:26.120 --> 0:30:29.280
<v Speaker 3>impossible to tell the difference between your takes. And at

0:30:29.320 --> 0:30:33.120
<v Speaker 3>the time, I went, that's not a good thing. I

0:30:33.160 --> 0:30:36.600
<v Speaker 3>don't think that's a good thing. And what that says

0:30:36.640 --> 0:30:38.520
<v Speaker 3>to me is that by the end of Boy Meets World,

0:30:38.640 --> 0:30:41.840
<v Speaker 3>I had sort of learned to control my presentation to

0:30:43.760 --> 0:30:46.240
<v Speaker 3>you know, and I think it destroyed acting for me.

0:30:46.920 --> 0:30:49.600
<v Speaker 3>And it wasn't until I was in my late twenties

0:30:49.680 --> 0:30:53.160
<v Speaker 3>early thirties that I started taking acting classes again and

0:30:54.400 --> 0:30:56.880
<v Speaker 3>met my wife and sort of rediscovered what acting is

0:30:56.960 --> 0:31:00.160
<v Speaker 3>and realized, look, no, I needed like be free, Like

0:31:00.240 --> 0:31:02.040
<v Speaker 3>the whole point is to be out of control. So

0:31:02.160 --> 0:31:04.720
<v Speaker 3>I totally it's interesting that now I look back on

0:31:05.040 --> 0:31:07.600
<v Speaker 3>my early days on Boy Meets World and I'm criticizing that,

0:31:07.920 --> 0:31:10.760
<v Speaker 3>when in reality, I think that was actually the right impulse,

0:31:11.720 --> 0:31:13.840
<v Speaker 3>you know. I think it's more just like the insecurity

0:31:13.880 --> 0:31:17.560
<v Speaker 3>of like, look, feeling awkward about my face and what

0:31:17.680 --> 0:31:20.840
<v Speaker 3>I looked like and whatnot. But actually I'm I want

0:31:20.880 --> 0:31:23.720
<v Speaker 3>to go back and tell fourteen year old Rider in

0:31:23.760 --> 0:31:26.840
<v Speaker 3>second season, keep going, keep being weird, just keep keep

0:31:26.880 --> 0:31:30.600
<v Speaker 3>being out of control actually because I think that, yes,

0:31:30.800 --> 0:31:33.120
<v Speaker 3>like what I said on the podcast was the sort

0:31:33.160 --> 0:31:35.320
<v Speaker 3>of part of me. I was trying to clamp down

0:31:35.720 --> 0:31:39.000
<v Speaker 3>and be more presentable and be cooler or better looking

0:31:39.600 --> 0:31:42.520
<v Speaker 3>or more and in retrospect, that's all not good for

0:31:42.600 --> 0:31:44.479
<v Speaker 3>actors to be. I don't think, you know, I think

0:31:44.600 --> 0:31:47.640
<v Speaker 3>I think for me, acting should be freeing and being

0:31:47.680 --> 0:31:51.600
<v Speaker 3>about expressive and being honest and open and and so. Yeah.

0:31:51.920 --> 0:31:53.800
<v Speaker 3>So I actually kind of want to take back those

0:31:54.080 --> 0:31:56.320
<v Speaker 3>those what I was saying and be like, no, you

0:31:56.440 --> 0:31:59.240
<v Speaker 3>know is right for me to watch? Yeah, but I

0:31:59.280 --> 0:32:02.200
<v Speaker 3>think I was doing right. Like, I think the problem

0:32:02.320 --> 0:32:04.440
<v Speaker 3>was that as time went on on Boy Meet's World

0:32:04.440 --> 0:32:06.640
<v Speaker 3>and I'm curious to see how it goes, I think

0:32:06.680 --> 0:32:10.680
<v Speaker 3>I got more and more presentable and actory and locked

0:32:10.720 --> 0:32:12.680
<v Speaker 3>in in my performances and in my jokes, and I

0:32:12.720 --> 0:32:14.840
<v Speaker 3>think that made it less funny. I think I became

0:32:14.960 --> 0:32:18.880
<v Speaker 3>less entertaining as comedically. I think I might have been

0:32:18.920 --> 0:32:20.880
<v Speaker 3>fine dramatically, but I think that's part of the reason

0:32:20.920 --> 0:32:24.200
<v Speaker 3>why Sean became not funny is because I got very

0:32:24.280 --> 0:32:28.200
<v Speaker 3>insecure about my ability to hit jokes and nail a beat.

0:32:28.760 --> 0:32:31.560
<v Speaker 3>And that was you know, truth be told. That was

0:32:31.640 --> 0:32:33.440
<v Speaker 3>The atmosphere on our set was that there's a right

0:32:33.480 --> 0:32:36.240
<v Speaker 3>way to do jokes, and there was one person in

0:32:36.360 --> 0:32:38.360
<v Speaker 3>charge of that right way, and he would tell us

0:32:38.640 --> 0:32:40.400
<v Speaker 3>you are only going to get a laugh if you

0:32:40.440 --> 0:32:42.800
<v Speaker 3>do it the way I'm going to do it. And

0:32:43.280 --> 0:32:46.120
<v Speaker 3>I think Will fortunately was able to break free of

0:32:46.200 --> 0:32:49.200
<v Speaker 3>that very early on, and you always were like, no,

0:32:49.400 --> 0:32:52.160
<v Speaker 3>I know what's funny, and you did it, and you

0:32:52.280 --> 0:32:53.760
<v Speaker 3>were allowed the freedom to do that, and you were

0:32:53.760 --> 0:32:56.920
<v Speaker 3>written too in that reg whereas I always felt like,

0:32:57.000 --> 0:32:58.920
<v Speaker 3>in order to be funny, I had to follow the

0:32:59.240 --> 0:33:02.120
<v Speaker 3>literal line readings or the literal instructions of one man

0:33:02.160 --> 0:33:05.040
<v Speaker 3>who was writing those jokes, and that, you know, really

0:33:06.200 --> 0:33:11.280
<v Speaker 3>that paralyzed me about comedy and it's a bummer. That's gosh,

0:33:11.320 --> 0:33:12.120
<v Speaker 3>that's so powerful.

0:33:12.120 --> 0:33:14.320
<v Speaker 5>I think that is so much of the work for

0:33:14.440 --> 0:33:17.800
<v Speaker 5>actors in sustaining a whole career is how do you

0:33:18.000 --> 0:33:20.960
<v Speaker 5>keep that freedom and that fluidity that makes you a

0:33:21.000 --> 0:33:24.400
<v Speaker 5>good actor and not care because you hear so much

0:33:24.440 --> 0:33:26.320
<v Speaker 5>from people like, oh, my best audition was when I

0:33:26.360 --> 0:33:28.480
<v Speaker 5>didn't really care about the auditions. I didn't really care

0:33:28.520 --> 0:33:31.040
<v Speaker 5>about the part. And it's like, how do we keep

0:33:31.200 --> 0:33:34.959
<v Speaker 5>that feeling in us? When we do care because actors,

0:33:35.040 --> 0:33:37.240
<v Speaker 5>of course care. It's like the stakes are so high,

0:33:37.320 --> 0:33:39.840
<v Speaker 5>we do it because we care, Yes, right.

0:33:40.640 --> 0:33:43.680
<v Speaker 3>I had this incredible experience when I was so when

0:33:43.680 --> 0:33:47.200
<v Speaker 3>I was twenty three, I did the play The Graduate,

0:33:47.680 --> 0:33:53.680
<v Speaker 3>and I played the Ben Ben Care, the uh Dustin

0:33:53.720 --> 0:33:55.600
<v Speaker 3>Hoffman character, so it was I was on stage the

0:33:55.720 --> 0:33:58.560
<v Speaker 3>entire time, and it was very much a comedy. It

0:33:58.640 --> 0:34:00.160
<v Speaker 3>was a sort of an It was more bag based

0:34:00.200 --> 0:34:02.160
<v Speaker 3>on the book The Graduate. They took some parts of

0:34:02.200 --> 0:34:03.880
<v Speaker 3>the movie, but it's more based on the book, so

0:34:03.960 --> 0:34:07.440
<v Speaker 3>it had more of a sort of comedic outwardly funny tone.

0:34:08.160 --> 0:34:09.440
<v Speaker 5>And I.

0:34:11.680 --> 0:34:13.640
<v Speaker 3>Did my best and I was very much a certain

0:34:13.680 --> 0:34:16.440
<v Speaker 3>type of actor and just got killed in the reviews,

0:34:16.680 --> 0:34:19.319
<v Speaker 3>just massacred, which was the first time I had ever

0:34:19.800 --> 0:34:21.400
<v Speaker 3>had bad reviews because it was the first time being

0:34:21.400 --> 0:34:23.800
<v Speaker 3>an adult actor, frankly, and like, you know, I finally

0:34:23.880 --> 0:34:25.879
<v Speaker 3>and it was so funny. While I was doing the play,

0:34:25.880 --> 0:34:27.560
<v Speaker 3>I would read the reviews and be like, eh, they

0:34:27.640 --> 0:34:30.600
<v Speaker 3>don't know and move on and be fine. But then

0:34:31.280 --> 0:34:33.160
<v Speaker 3>like a year a year and a half after doing

0:34:33.239 --> 0:34:35.640
<v Speaker 3>the play, for whatever reason, I decided to google the

0:34:35.719 --> 0:34:41.160
<v Speaker 3>reviews and like could not sleep for weeks and it

0:34:41.280 --> 0:34:46.920
<v Speaker 3>was devastating. And then when I was thirty, they asked

0:34:46.960 --> 0:34:50.040
<v Speaker 3>me the production, the producers of the Graduate asked me

0:34:50.120 --> 0:34:52.120
<v Speaker 3>to go do the play again and I still looked

0:34:52.160 --> 0:34:54.040
<v Speaker 3>young enough to play the part, and they said, come

0:34:54.120 --> 0:34:55.759
<v Speaker 3>to Australia. And at this point I was already pretty

0:34:55.800 --> 0:34:58.320
<v Speaker 3>much done with acting. I had moved into directing and

0:34:58.440 --> 0:35:01.680
<v Speaker 3>I got this opportunity to play the same role again

0:35:02.120 --> 0:35:05.279
<v Speaker 3>and I told the director. I was like, I'm not

0:35:05.360 --> 0:35:06.960
<v Speaker 3>going to do it the same way because at that

0:35:07.000 --> 0:35:09.480
<v Speaker 3>point I had sort of had this revelation like I

0:35:09.600 --> 0:35:12.680
<v Speaker 3>need to like let go of control and let go

0:35:12.880 --> 0:35:15.239
<v Speaker 3>of like every night being the same performance and every

0:35:15.280 --> 0:35:18.400
<v Speaker 3>line being the same, and it was super freeing and

0:35:18.520 --> 0:35:20.279
<v Speaker 3>it was so wonderful to go back and do the

0:35:20.400 --> 0:35:24.960
<v Speaker 3>same play and this time completely let go of the

0:35:25.080 --> 0:35:29.080
<v Speaker 3>net and it completely changed my approach to acting. And

0:35:29.880 --> 0:35:33.120
<v Speaker 3>that's really when I kind of stopped acting after that run.

0:35:33.680 --> 0:35:36.040
<v Speaker 3>It was wonderful. It was super empowering, Like and what

0:35:36.120 --> 0:35:38.840
<v Speaker 3>I would do is I would be sitting there on

0:35:39.080 --> 0:35:43.000
<v Speaker 3>stage and I could feel the audience like if I was,

0:35:43.239 --> 0:35:46.799
<v Speaker 3>you know, finding myself into a rote performance where I'm like, oh,

0:35:46.800 --> 0:35:48.719
<v Speaker 3>I'm hitting the beats I'm saying that, and I could

0:35:48.719 --> 0:35:51.480
<v Speaker 3>feel the audience waning. I could feel the energy waning.

0:35:51.480 --> 0:35:53.160
<v Speaker 3>I would be like, whoa, and I'd have to like

0:35:53.200 --> 0:35:56.640
<v Speaker 3>wake myself up and be like, next line, I'm just

0:35:56.800 --> 0:35:57.920
<v Speaker 3>not going to know how I'm going to say it.

0:35:57.920 --> 0:36:00.120
<v Speaker 3>I'm just gonna I know the line, but I'm going

0:36:00.200 --> 0:36:02.120
<v Speaker 3>to completely infuse it with a new meaning and a

0:36:02.200 --> 0:36:05.040
<v Speaker 3>new feeling. And immediately the audience would come with me,

0:36:05.200 --> 0:36:07.400
<v Speaker 3>and immediately they would come back, and so like, I

0:36:07.480 --> 0:36:10.040
<v Speaker 3>feel like I got to discover the power of acting

0:36:10.320 --> 0:36:12.759
<v Speaker 3>for the first time at thirty years old, you know,

0:36:12.960 --> 0:36:15.120
<v Speaker 3>and it was it was so cool to be able

0:36:15.160 --> 0:36:18.480
<v Speaker 3>to go back and do the same play again and

0:36:18.600 --> 0:36:20.360
<v Speaker 3>be able to like fix it. You know.

0:36:20.680 --> 0:36:20.799
<v Speaker 2>Uh.

0:36:21.120 --> 0:36:22.920
<v Speaker 3>The actress working with me try to get me fired.

0:36:23.560 --> 0:36:27.640
<v Speaker 3>Who yeah, because she was like, she's like writers not

0:36:27.719 --> 0:36:29.799
<v Speaker 3>doing it the same way every night. I can't work

0:36:29.840 --> 0:36:30.120
<v Speaker 3>with him.

0:36:31.200 --> 0:36:35.360
<v Speaker 2>Wow, had done very she had that actor well, she

0:36:35.520 --> 0:36:35.880
<v Speaker 2>was a she.

0:36:35.960 --> 0:36:38.320
<v Speaker 3>Was a very English style actress where there it's like

0:36:38.400 --> 0:36:40.399
<v Speaker 3>we lock in our performance and we do it every

0:36:40.480 --> 0:36:42.960
<v Speaker 3>night the exact same way. And she she she accused

0:36:43.000 --> 0:36:45.120
<v Speaker 3>me of changing the lines and I was like, no, no, no,

0:36:45.280 --> 0:36:47.160
<v Speaker 3>I'm doing it word for word the same. I'm just

0:36:47.360 --> 0:36:50.640
<v Speaker 3>changing the way I say every night. I would never

0:36:50.760 --> 0:36:53.439
<v Speaker 3>improvise on stage, but what I would do is change

0:36:53.480 --> 0:36:56.320
<v Speaker 3>the tone, change whatever, change the intention, feel it be

0:36:56.400 --> 0:36:58.960
<v Speaker 3>alive in the moment. And that freaked her out, and

0:36:59.239 --> 0:37:00.680
<v Speaker 3>you know, of course she had wanted me to go

0:37:00.760 --> 0:37:02.399
<v Speaker 3>back to what I had been when I was twenty three,

0:37:02.440 --> 0:37:05.440
<v Speaker 3>where I had just been a performing robot, and.

0:37:05.560 --> 0:37:09.680
<v Speaker 5>Where you were in quote unquote control, where you were predictable. Yeah,

0:37:10.000 --> 0:37:13.479
<v Speaker 5>being a director, has that given you any insight into

0:37:14.160 --> 0:37:17.080
<v Speaker 5>the kind of set and dynamic on set and culture

0:37:17.160 --> 0:37:22.200
<v Speaker 5>on set that you want to generate for the cast

0:37:22.239 --> 0:37:25.160
<v Speaker 5>that you're working with. And in doing that, is it

0:37:25.239 --> 0:37:28.080
<v Speaker 5>giving you any insights into the environment on set of

0:37:28.160 --> 0:37:28.919
<v Speaker 5>Boy Meets World?

0:37:29.880 --> 0:37:31.120
<v Speaker 3>Absolutely? Yeah.

0:37:31.200 --> 0:37:35.160
<v Speaker 4>Girl Meets World was really that way that, uh, you.

0:37:35.200 --> 0:37:39.600
<v Speaker 3>Know, just deciding, oh, I'm not only a creative director here,

0:37:39.719 --> 0:37:42.839
<v Speaker 3>I am. I need to model what I think good

0:37:42.920 --> 0:37:45.560
<v Speaker 3>behaviors and good set behaviors for these kids, and I

0:37:45.600 --> 0:37:48.200
<v Speaker 3>need to protect them. And it was, you know, and

0:37:48.320 --> 0:37:50.560
<v Speaker 3>I was becoming a father during Boy Meets World or

0:37:50.680 --> 0:37:53.120
<v Speaker 3>during Girl Meets World. And I remember those two roles

0:37:53.160 --> 0:37:55.920
<v Speaker 3>sort of you know, me recognizing like, oh I am

0:37:56.000 --> 0:37:58.440
<v Speaker 3>the grown up here and I need to be, you know,

0:37:58.560 --> 0:38:00.759
<v Speaker 3>helping create a safe space for these kids and trying

0:38:00.800 --> 0:38:02.640
<v Speaker 3>to support them as actors in a way that I

0:38:02.680 --> 0:38:04.480
<v Speaker 3>did not feel was being supported and that I did

0:38:04.560 --> 0:38:07.719
<v Speaker 3>not feel was supported on Boy Meth World except from

0:38:07.840 --> 0:38:10.319
<v Speaker 3>people like David Trainor and Jeff McCracken. And we had

0:38:10.400 --> 0:38:12.520
<v Speaker 3>some good directors. We had some great directors and great

0:38:12.560 --> 0:38:16.520
<v Speaker 3>producers producers, you know, but in general, yes, with with

0:38:16.680 --> 0:38:19.719
<v Speaker 3>Girl Meth World, it was like, oh, I'm I'm time

0:38:19.800 --> 0:38:22.040
<v Speaker 3>traveling back, and I get to be one of the

0:38:22.120 --> 0:38:24.600
<v Speaker 3>adults that I appreciated when I was on Boymuth World,

0:38:24.640 --> 0:38:27.200
<v Speaker 3>and I need to like actively engage those powers now

0:38:27.320 --> 0:38:29.560
<v Speaker 3>and and try and do good. And it was really,

0:38:30.160 --> 0:38:32.360
<v Speaker 3>it was great. It was It was wonderful. I you know,

0:38:32.960 --> 0:38:35.040
<v Speaker 3>I actually don't have much of a relationship with the

0:38:35.080 --> 0:38:37.200
<v Speaker 3>girls from Girl Meth World, but I would like to

0:38:37.280 --> 0:38:40.000
<v Speaker 3>think that that they think fondly on our time together,

0:38:40.320 --> 0:38:41.640
<v Speaker 3>you know. And that way that I was a good

0:38:41.680 --> 0:38:43.160
<v Speaker 3>influence was.

0:38:43.200 --> 0:38:45.840
<v Speaker 5>That healing in itself to be able to kind of

0:38:46.040 --> 0:38:51.120
<v Speaker 5>be in the parent role and almost reparent other people,

0:38:51.200 --> 0:38:52.840
<v Speaker 5>but in a way almost reparent yourself.

0:38:52.920 --> 0:38:56.920
<v Speaker 3>And little Rider. The problem was I also had to

0:38:56.960 --> 0:38:59.200
<v Speaker 3>act on the show, and I did not want to

0:38:59.239 --> 0:39:00.719
<v Speaker 3>do that and I did not want to have to

0:39:00.800 --> 0:39:04.840
<v Speaker 3>be Sean Hunter again. And so while there was so

0:39:04.960 --> 0:39:08.560
<v Speaker 3>much empowerment when I directed, you know, and I ended

0:39:08.640 --> 0:39:13.440
<v Speaker 3>up directing a bunch of the episodes, ultimately the experience, like,

0:39:13.920 --> 0:39:16.439
<v Speaker 3>I think people still think of me as John Hunter,

0:39:16.600 --> 0:39:20.680
<v Speaker 3>and I only further entrenched that identity by being on

0:39:20.840 --> 0:39:22.600
<v Speaker 3>the show, which was a trade off, right. I agreed

0:39:22.640 --> 0:39:24.919
<v Speaker 3>to do two episodes a season of Girl Meets World

0:39:25.160 --> 0:39:27.840
<v Speaker 3>in order to be able to direct some episodes. But

0:39:27.920 --> 0:39:29.720
<v Speaker 3>when I look at that time, all I can remember

0:39:29.760 --> 0:39:31.760
<v Speaker 3>and all I can really think about is the directing

0:39:31.800 --> 0:39:35.040
<v Speaker 3>that I did. But unfortunately it's It definitely was the

0:39:35.160 --> 0:39:37.160
<v Speaker 3>nail in the coffin of my acting career because it

0:39:37.280 --> 0:39:39.560
<v Speaker 3>was like, oh here I am doing Sewan again, and

0:39:39.600 --> 0:39:41.279
<v Speaker 3>I just did not want to be there for that,

0:39:41.520 --> 0:39:42.279
<v Speaker 3>you know, in that role.

0:39:43.000 --> 0:39:45.360
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, And I had no problem coming back and playing

0:39:45.400 --> 0:39:47.320
<v Speaker 1>Topang again. I was excited to do it and to

0:39:47.400 --> 0:39:49.319
<v Speaker 1>see what Tapega was going to be as a mother

0:39:49.560 --> 0:39:52.440
<v Speaker 1>and how her relationship with Corey would have evolved, and

0:39:52.480 --> 0:39:54.200
<v Speaker 1>who she was as a wife and as a professional.

0:39:54.280 --> 0:39:55.799
<v Speaker 4>I was excited about all of those things.

0:39:56.960 --> 0:40:01.760
<v Speaker 1>And yes, it was very arctic to be an adult

0:40:02.080 --> 0:40:06.320
<v Speaker 1>professional on a set that that helped to try and

0:40:06.400 --> 0:40:09.080
<v Speaker 1>create in every way that I could a safe space

0:40:09.200 --> 0:40:12.040
<v Speaker 1>environment for all of the actors and all the kids

0:40:12.120 --> 0:40:15.600
<v Speaker 1>on that show. Unfortunately, in order to do that, I

0:40:15.800 --> 0:40:22.520
<v Speaker 1>myself was constantly fraught in near constant battle, and so

0:40:23.120 --> 0:40:26.840
<v Speaker 1>it was a total dichotomy of I'm going to battle

0:40:27.120 --> 0:40:31.719
<v Speaker 1>to help create a safe space environment, and so it was,

0:40:32.400 --> 0:40:34.520
<v Speaker 1>you know, I walked away from it feeling like I

0:40:34.640 --> 0:40:37.239
<v Speaker 1>threw myself under a bus or in the line of

0:40:37.280 --> 0:40:41.800
<v Speaker 1>five onto the grenade and I and I hope it

0:40:41.960 --> 0:40:44.719
<v Speaker 1>worked to a certain and you know, I know only

0:40:44.800 --> 0:40:46.640
<v Speaker 1>to a certain extent that it that it you know,

0:40:46.719 --> 0:40:48.719
<v Speaker 1>it could it could only it would only work as

0:40:48.800 --> 0:40:49.839
<v Speaker 1>much as it could work.

0:40:51.000 --> 0:40:54.520
<v Speaker 4>And you know, uh, yeah, so let's talk about Will.

0:41:04.320 --> 0:41:05.600
<v Speaker 4>Will has been silent.

0:41:05.920 --> 0:41:08.439
<v Speaker 2>I've just been very I'll be totally honest with you, Kira.

0:41:08.520 --> 0:41:11.839
<v Speaker 2>I'm not fully comfortable with this and never have been. Yeah,

0:41:12.440 --> 0:41:15.719
<v Speaker 2>I think therapy is very important and very private, so

0:41:16.320 --> 0:41:18.200
<v Speaker 2>I'm sure I will be guarded in what I answer,

0:41:19.600 --> 0:41:21.640
<v Speaker 2>but have at it.

0:41:22.280 --> 0:41:25.719
<v Speaker 5>No, that's totally okay. I completely respect that because yeah,

0:41:26.040 --> 0:41:30.000
<v Speaker 5>this is very unusual. Usually therapy is completely private and confidential.

0:41:30.160 --> 0:41:34.239
<v Speaker 5>So yeah, something that I was that I thought was

0:41:34.320 --> 0:41:37.080
<v Speaker 5>interesting listening as as a fan of the podcast listening

0:41:38.560 --> 0:41:43.200
<v Speaker 5>the whole story about Amsterdam and kind of one the

0:41:43.360 --> 0:41:45.920
<v Speaker 5>fleeing to Amsterdam and Jason Marten leading to kind of

0:41:46.000 --> 0:41:48.359
<v Speaker 5>come be like, come on, let's get back to real life,

0:41:48.440 --> 0:41:49.719
<v Speaker 5>Like we could do this for a week, then we

0:41:49.760 --> 0:41:52.360
<v Speaker 5>got to get back to me. It's obviously it's a

0:41:52.440 --> 0:41:55.560
<v Speaker 5>hilarious story, but I heard as a therapist, I was like, wow,

0:41:55.640 --> 0:41:57.880
<v Speaker 5>that is a strong part of you that was coming forward,

0:41:58.560 --> 0:42:02.839
<v Speaker 5>really protecting you from from something from you know, from

0:42:03.040 --> 0:42:05.319
<v Speaker 5>being on set, or how you felt being on set,

0:42:05.400 --> 0:42:06.880
<v Speaker 5>how you felt being in la.

0:42:07.760 --> 0:42:09.680
<v Speaker 2>I don't know. I'm sure it would be something more

0:42:09.760 --> 0:42:11.960
<v Speaker 2>of maybe being in Los Angeles or away from my family,

0:42:12.000 --> 0:42:14.360
<v Speaker 2>but that wouldn't make sense because I had gone to Europe.

0:42:14.440 --> 0:42:18.560
<v Speaker 2>But no, I my on set experience was normally very

0:42:18.680 --> 0:42:22.080
<v Speaker 2>very good. I just I you know, after the first year,

0:42:22.200 --> 0:42:25.439
<v Speaker 2>I didn't have to be in school, so I found

0:42:25.480 --> 0:42:27.960
<v Speaker 2>Tony Quinn. That second year we were off. You know,

0:42:28.239 --> 0:42:30.280
<v Speaker 2>I was doing this incredible show where I was enjoying

0:42:30.480 --> 0:42:33.920
<v Speaker 2>myself immensely acting and got such a rush from the audience,

0:42:33.960 --> 0:42:36.080
<v Speaker 2>and I could spend time with my friends and I

0:42:36.480 --> 0:42:39.719
<v Speaker 2>loved it. You know, was everything awesome? No, of course not.

0:42:39.880 --> 0:42:42.319
<v Speaker 2>But overall, when I look back at Boy Mets World,

0:42:42.600 --> 0:42:45.120
<v Speaker 2>it's a wonderful experience, probably the best seven years of

0:42:45.200 --> 0:42:48.520
<v Speaker 2>my life. I think there's also something just to be

0:42:48.600 --> 0:42:52.120
<v Speaker 2>said for I was like twenty yeah, and you I

0:42:52.280 --> 0:42:54.960
<v Speaker 2>just wanted to change. It's just something different. It's you know,

0:42:55.040 --> 0:42:59.719
<v Speaker 2>when you're under contract, even if it's a marvelously wonderful contract,

0:43:00.120 --> 0:43:02.800
<v Speaker 2>it's you know, the golden handcuffs. Occasionally where I'm I

0:43:03.120 --> 0:43:04.920
<v Speaker 2>had to go and ask permission to get a tattoo,

0:43:05.040 --> 0:43:06.520
<v Speaker 2>If I want to get my haircut, I have to

0:43:06.560 --> 0:43:10.200
<v Speaker 2>ask permission to do that. It's just you're under contract,

0:43:10.280 --> 0:43:14.279
<v Speaker 2>which is you know, there's a wonderful balance to being

0:43:14.400 --> 0:43:17.360
<v Speaker 2>under contract because you're also doing what you love and

0:43:17.800 --> 0:43:19.960
<v Speaker 2>you're getting money for it, you're getting the recognition for it.

0:43:20.000 --> 0:43:22.320
<v Speaker 2>You're making people laugh to me as my drug. So

0:43:23.040 --> 0:43:25.920
<v Speaker 2>getting to do that every week in front of an

0:43:25.960 --> 0:43:29.239
<v Speaker 2>audience that was every week we saw them getting more

0:43:29.280 --> 0:43:31.120
<v Speaker 2>and more invested in the characters in the show was

0:43:31.840 --> 0:43:34.960
<v Speaker 2>a wonderful experience for me. So I think I I'm

0:43:34.960 --> 0:43:38.600
<v Speaker 2>one of those guys who very rarely rebelled. And when

0:43:38.640 --> 0:43:41.640
<v Speaker 2>I look back at the stuff that I did rebel on,

0:43:41.800 --> 0:43:47.040
<v Speaker 2>it was all more personally damaging. Like I started smoking

0:43:47.080 --> 0:43:50.479
<v Speaker 2>cigarettes when I was ten. I didn't, I don't. Didn't

0:43:50.520 --> 0:43:53.960
<v Speaker 2>find drinking until I was like twenty five thirty, and

0:43:54.120 --> 0:43:56.400
<v Speaker 2>I didn't. I never did hard drugs or any of

0:43:56.440 --> 0:43:58.440
<v Speaker 2>that kind of stuff like that. But you know, smoking

0:43:58.520 --> 0:44:00.880
<v Speaker 2>for thirty five years or whatever not a good thing.

0:44:01.000 --> 0:44:03.000
<v Speaker 2>And so that I'm sure had something to do with

0:44:03.120 --> 0:44:04.920
<v Speaker 2>my anxiety and all that kind of stuff like that.

0:44:05.000 --> 0:44:08.840
<v Speaker 2>And I think for those three months, however long I

0:44:08.880 --> 0:44:11.400
<v Speaker 2>was in Amsterdam two months, there was this moment of

0:44:11.680 --> 0:44:14.320
<v Speaker 2>it's my life and I'm leaving and doing it. Meanwhile,

0:44:14.360 --> 0:44:16.320
<v Speaker 2>I was under contract to write a script for Disney.

0:44:16.400 --> 0:44:19.120
<v Speaker 2>That's why I was there, So, I mean, it was

0:44:20.120 --> 0:44:22.560
<v Speaker 2>still a long chain that was attached to the parent company.

0:44:22.640 --> 0:44:25.640
<v Speaker 2>But I loved working for the parent company.

0:44:25.760 --> 0:44:26.000
<v Speaker 5>I did.

0:44:26.080 --> 0:44:28.600
<v Speaker 2>I loved all the benefits we got. I loved all

0:44:28.640 --> 0:44:30.759
<v Speaker 2>the people we met. I loved you know, I I

0:44:31.239 --> 0:44:33.080
<v Speaker 2>love the little thing. Hey, come on, we're going to

0:44:33.120 --> 0:44:35.200
<v Speaker 2>Disney World this time we're going to Disneyland. They're shutting

0:44:35.200 --> 0:44:38.440
<v Speaker 2>down the park. So I had a lot of issues

0:44:38.480 --> 0:44:40.680
<v Speaker 2>in my life when it came to I mean again,

0:44:40.719 --> 0:44:43.960
<v Speaker 2>when it comes to the anxiety, the more I learned

0:44:44.000 --> 0:44:45.719
<v Speaker 2>about it is, you know, it's a slight tick in

0:44:45.760 --> 0:44:48.440
<v Speaker 2>my fight or flight response, but for the vast majority

0:44:48.480 --> 0:44:50.960
<v Speaker 2>of what I was dealing with, it was genetic. It's

0:44:50.960 --> 0:44:55.640
<v Speaker 2>a chemical imbalance. So it was it wasn't what I

0:44:55.800 --> 0:44:57.719
<v Speaker 2>was going through in my life so much as what

0:44:57.880 --> 0:44:59.719
<v Speaker 2>I was going through in my life was altered by

0:44:59.719 --> 0:45:04.960
<v Speaker 2>my physiology. So unfortunately, this thing that was the most

0:45:05.040 --> 0:45:07.240
<v Speaker 2>wonderful thing of running out in front of an audience,

0:45:07.280 --> 0:45:10.000
<v Speaker 2>of entertaining them, all of a sudden became one of

0:45:10.040 --> 0:45:13.320
<v Speaker 2>the most frightening things I had to do, literally in

0:45:13.520 --> 0:45:17.080
<v Speaker 2>a millisecond, because when you have that first anxiety attack,

0:45:17.200 --> 0:45:21.920
<v Speaker 2>it changes everything, everything, your whole life. So it was

0:45:22.960 --> 0:45:25.239
<v Speaker 2>it wasn't Boymet's world that did it, you know, it was.

0:45:27.080 --> 0:45:29.239
<v Speaker 2>You see people nowadays, and we've all seen them in

0:45:29.320 --> 0:45:32.399
<v Speaker 2>news and in the news or in magazines or things

0:45:32.440 --> 0:45:35.399
<v Speaker 2>like that, where they seem to become unhinged for lack

0:45:35.440 --> 0:45:38.719
<v Speaker 2>of a better word, in their early twenties and that's

0:45:39.120 --> 0:45:41.480
<v Speaker 2>usually when, if it doesn't hit you very early, when

0:45:41.520 --> 0:45:44.040
<v Speaker 2>a mental illness will hit you as late teen's early twenties,

0:45:44.040 --> 0:45:48.520
<v Speaker 2>as your brain is starting to finish developing. So you

0:45:48.600 --> 0:45:51.440
<v Speaker 2>know it was to me When I look back, the

0:45:51.560 --> 0:45:54.719
<v Speaker 2>regret is not that I had the anxiety. That's who

0:45:54.800 --> 0:45:56.400
<v Speaker 2>I am, and it's made me who I am. And

0:45:56.440 --> 0:45:58.080
<v Speaker 2>if I woke up tomorrow with no anxiety, I'm not

0:45:58.080 --> 0:45:59.920
<v Speaker 2>sure I would know what to do. I've befriended it.

0:46:00.000 --> 0:46:01.680
<v Speaker 2>It's a warm blanket that I put on every day.

0:46:03.520 --> 0:46:06.239
<v Speaker 2>The thing that upsets me is that chocolate cake was

0:46:06.280 --> 0:46:09.600
<v Speaker 2>my favorite thing, and it changed the flavor. So I

0:46:10.120 --> 0:46:12.360
<v Speaker 2>loved Boy Mets World. I loved everything about it and

0:46:12.880 --> 0:46:16.480
<v Speaker 2>the idea that it didn't steal it from me my brain.

0:46:16.600 --> 0:46:18.200
<v Speaker 2>You know, my brain is not my enemy. I'm I'm

0:46:18.239 --> 0:46:20.719
<v Speaker 2>in control of it. But it did alter it for me,

0:46:20.960 --> 0:46:24.239
<v Speaker 2>and that's a shame because it went from being the

0:46:24.280 --> 0:46:26.839
<v Speaker 2>most wonderful thing in the world to being scary, having

0:46:26.960 --> 0:46:31.080
<v Speaker 2>nothing to do with anything but my own physiology. So

0:46:31.280 --> 0:46:33.040
<v Speaker 2>that's that's what I deal with. I don't deal with

0:46:33.120 --> 0:46:37.279
<v Speaker 2>the same kind of we talk about unpacking. I was,

0:46:37.360 --> 0:46:40.160
<v Speaker 2>as writer said, I got away from you know, I

0:46:40.280 --> 0:46:45.000
<v Speaker 2>kind of carved my own niche niece for the Boy

0:46:45.080 --> 0:46:47.799
<v Speaker 2>Meets World fans out there. I carved my own niece

0:46:48.640 --> 0:46:51.120
<v Speaker 2>very early and just stuck with it, and I think

0:46:51.400 --> 0:46:54.600
<v Speaker 2>the producers and the writers respected that and let me

0:46:54.760 --> 0:46:57.080
<v Speaker 2>do my thing. And so that coupled with being with

0:46:57.160 --> 0:46:59.680
<v Speaker 2>writer and Danielle every day, being with Tony Quinn, you know,

0:46:59.760 --> 0:47:01.840
<v Speaker 2>in the early episodes, being in front of the audience.

0:47:03.239 --> 0:47:05.160
<v Speaker 2>Every time I look back at Boy, I smile, even

0:47:05.239 --> 0:47:07.640
<v Speaker 2>when even when we talk about some of these horrible

0:47:07.680 --> 0:47:10.680
<v Speaker 2>things that that have happened, and there are, but that's

0:47:10.800 --> 0:47:12.759
<v Speaker 2>you know, that's life, and you take them. And that's

0:47:12.920 --> 0:47:14.480
<v Speaker 2>when I look at Danielle and I look at Ryder.

0:47:15.600 --> 0:47:17.680
<v Speaker 2>They've taken the things that have happened to them and

0:47:17.760 --> 0:47:19.960
<v Speaker 2>made them the people they are. And there are two

0:47:19.960 --> 0:47:22.440
<v Speaker 2>people that I love almost more than anybody else on

0:47:22.480 --> 0:47:25.839
<v Speaker 2>the planet. So I wouldn't want to change anything they

0:47:25.880 --> 0:47:28.880
<v Speaker 2>went through because I don't want to change them. So

0:47:29.000 --> 0:47:32.040
<v Speaker 2>that's kind of that's how I look at it. I

0:47:32.080 --> 0:47:35.759
<v Speaker 2>think that is such a powerful way to look at it.

0:47:35.800 --> 0:47:38.160
<v Speaker 6>If chocolate cake was my favorite cake and it changed

0:47:38.200 --> 0:47:41.239
<v Speaker 6>the flavor, so now I think that's almost like a

0:47:41.320 --> 0:47:45.360
<v Speaker 6>perfect metaphor potentially for this podcast for you guys, is

0:47:45.400 --> 0:47:47.640
<v Speaker 6>that how it has felt for any of you is

0:47:47.680 --> 0:47:50.839
<v Speaker 6>that maybe a chocolate cake wasn't your favorite flavor, Boy

0:47:50.880 --> 0:47:52.719
<v Speaker 6>Meets World wasn't like the highlight of your life, but

0:47:52.800 --> 0:47:55.440
<v Speaker 6>it was this good thing, and doing the podcast has that,

0:47:56.800 --> 0:47:59.719
<v Speaker 6>you know, has there been more space created for the

0:48:00.200 --> 0:48:00.960
<v Speaker 6>parts of it as well.

0:48:01.960 --> 0:48:07.080
<v Speaker 3>I've always, i think, you know, part of maybe just

0:48:07.160 --> 0:48:10.239
<v Speaker 3>my personality or whatever, my experience Boy Meets World was

0:48:10.280 --> 0:48:12.120
<v Speaker 3>always sort of torturous for me in cert you know,

0:48:12.200 --> 0:48:16.000
<v Speaker 3>in certain regard, I've always been tortured by, uh, the experience.

0:48:16.480 --> 0:48:20.120
<v Speaker 3>So the podcast is actually just is if anything, made

0:48:20.120 --> 0:48:24.400
<v Speaker 3>it more positive because I'm sharing the experience and and

0:48:24.719 --> 0:48:28.200
<v Speaker 3>and reappreciating just the quality of the show, and appreciating

0:48:28.400 --> 0:48:32.600
<v Speaker 3>the quality the love of the fans, and and respecting,

0:48:33.080 --> 0:48:35.359
<v Speaker 3>you know, this part of my life that I ran

0:48:35.400 --> 0:48:38.200
<v Speaker 3>away from for so long. So for me like this

0:48:38.880 --> 0:48:44.600
<v Speaker 3>this is you know, therapeutic in a most mostly wholly

0:48:44.680 --> 0:48:47.799
<v Speaker 3>positive way. It's not, it's you know, so the unpacking

0:48:48.360 --> 0:48:50.960
<v Speaker 3>is like coming to terms with a lot of the

0:48:51.000 --> 0:48:53.759
<v Speaker 3>good things about Boy Meets World that I didn't allow

0:48:53.840 --> 0:48:57.080
<v Speaker 3>myself to feel out of us, I think a sense

0:48:57.120 --> 0:49:02.160
<v Speaker 3>of self preservation that fame, you know, the fame was

0:49:02.600 --> 0:49:05.319
<v Speaker 3>a source of trauma for me, and I felt out

0:49:05.360 --> 0:49:07.000
<v Speaker 3>of control. I felt like I did not get to

0:49:07.040 --> 0:49:10.719
<v Speaker 3>control my public identity from the age of thirteen on.

0:49:11.960 --> 0:49:14.920
<v Speaker 3>And contending with that has been very difficult because on

0:49:15.080 --> 0:49:16.560
<v Speaker 3>one hand, you know, and I know that this is

0:49:16.600 --> 0:49:18.520
<v Speaker 3>sort of a child actor thing, right, It's like, on

0:49:18.640 --> 0:49:22.840
<v Speaker 3>one hand, you want you want status back, like you

0:49:22.960 --> 0:49:26.520
<v Speaker 3>want to be acknowledged for something, for being good at

0:49:26.560 --> 0:49:28.480
<v Speaker 3>something or being you know, and you do you get

0:49:28.600 --> 0:49:30.920
<v Speaker 3>used to that, right, I got used to the idea

0:49:31.000 --> 0:49:33.440
<v Speaker 3>that people cared who right or strong was, and that

0:49:33.560 --> 0:49:35.800
<v Speaker 3>if I wrote something, everybody would want to read it,

0:49:36.040 --> 0:49:38.719
<v Speaker 3>or if I you know, and when you realize that

0:49:38.800 --> 0:49:41.800
<v Speaker 3>that's not the case, it's hard, you know, And it's

0:49:41.840 --> 0:49:43.839
<v Speaker 3>always been a difficult thing for me to both run

0:49:43.880 --> 0:49:47.120
<v Speaker 3>away from Boymet's world but then also acknowledge that it's

0:49:47.200 --> 0:49:49.239
<v Speaker 3>the source of a lot of great things in my life,

0:49:49.440 --> 0:49:51.640
<v Speaker 3>a source of a lot of successful things in my

0:49:51.719 --> 0:49:55.919
<v Speaker 3>life and things that I cherish. So yeah, so doing

0:49:55.960 --> 0:49:58.799
<v Speaker 3>this podcast is kind of right up my alley as

0:49:58.840 --> 0:50:01.120
<v Speaker 3>far as like the way I don't feel like I'm

0:50:01.920 --> 0:50:05.200
<v Speaker 3>I'm I'm rediscovering the good things about Bombing World ultimately,

0:50:05.320 --> 0:50:07.960
<v Speaker 3>Like I don't feel like i've I've always kind of

0:50:08.000 --> 0:50:10.120
<v Speaker 3>taken a slightly negative view, and I know that's kind

0:50:10.120 --> 0:50:12.400
<v Speaker 3>of hard for our fans to hear sometimes, and and

0:50:12.520 --> 0:50:15.600
<v Speaker 3>I'm I apologize for in the past. I feel like

0:50:15.719 --> 0:50:19.080
<v Speaker 3>I've you know, been disparaging about my own fans or

0:50:19.200 --> 0:50:22.800
<v Speaker 3>our own fans because I'm I've been so insecure and

0:50:22.800 --> 0:50:24.440
<v Speaker 3>I've run away from this part of my life. And

0:50:24.480 --> 0:50:26.560
<v Speaker 3>I feel like, for me, the podcast is a way

0:50:26.600 --> 0:50:28.719
<v Speaker 3>to embrace it and to confront it, and so it

0:50:29.239 --> 0:50:31.799
<v Speaker 3>feels good. On the whole, it feels very good.

0:50:32.480 --> 0:50:36.719
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, on a somewhat related but slightly different layer, I

0:50:37.360 --> 0:50:41.120
<v Speaker 1>have gone my entire life hearing and knowing how beloved

0:50:41.200 --> 0:50:44.560
<v Speaker 1>the show was, and I just accepted it at face value.

0:50:44.719 --> 0:50:46.000
<v Speaker 4>I thought, oh, that's so nice.

0:50:46.080 --> 0:50:50.160
<v Speaker 1>Everybody loves the show. But I did not remember anything

0:50:50.360 --> 0:50:53.919
<v Speaker 1>about it at all, And so I in my head

0:50:54.040 --> 0:50:55.919
<v Speaker 1>was always like, I don't know why, but I don't

0:50:55.920 --> 0:50:56.399
<v Speaker 1>need to know why.

0:50:56.440 --> 0:50:58.839
<v Speaker 4>It doesn't matter. What we did was good. You think

0:50:58.880 --> 0:51:01.120
<v Speaker 4>it was good. I accept that. I don't run away

0:51:01.160 --> 0:51:01.400
<v Speaker 4>from it.

0:51:01.520 --> 0:51:05.160
<v Speaker 1>I am I am thrilled to have played a character

0:51:05.320 --> 0:51:07.840
<v Speaker 1>that that is mostly beloved by a lot of people,

0:51:07.960 --> 0:51:10.919
<v Speaker 1>like that's a wonderful thing. I will just say thank

0:51:10.960 --> 0:51:13.239
<v Speaker 1>you and and say yes, isn't it great? But I

0:51:13.360 --> 0:51:17.800
<v Speaker 1>never really knew why. This experience for me has been.

0:51:18.000 --> 0:51:19.920
<v Speaker 4>Let's learn, let's learn what do you what?

0:51:20.080 --> 0:51:20.120
<v Speaker 2>What?

0:51:20.360 --> 0:51:20.839
<v Speaker 5>What is the thing?

0:51:20.920 --> 0:51:21.560
<v Speaker 4>What are the things?

0:51:21.640 --> 0:51:22.239
<v Speaker 3>What did we do?

0:51:22.719 --> 0:51:24.200
<v Speaker 4>How come I don't remember what?

0:51:24.640 --> 0:51:24.960
<v Speaker 2>What were?

0:51:25.160 --> 0:51:25.719
<v Speaker 4>What were they?

0:51:25.840 --> 0:51:30.160
<v Speaker 1>And then trying to embrace the positive and the negative

0:51:30.480 --> 0:51:32.640
<v Speaker 1>memories and experiences that come with that.

0:51:33.200 --> 0:51:38.680
<v Speaker 4>And to Will's point, I'm grateful for them both.

0:51:39.080 --> 0:51:42.040
<v Speaker 1>I love I truly love them both, even even the

0:51:42.120 --> 0:51:44.120
<v Speaker 1>bad ones that even that, even things that are like

0:51:44.160 --> 0:51:46.000
<v Speaker 1>oh man, that must have been hard, and I'll cry

0:51:46.120 --> 0:51:46.800
<v Speaker 1>thinking about it.

0:51:47.400 --> 0:51:47.520
<v Speaker 2>Uh.

0:51:47.719 --> 0:51:49.480
<v Speaker 4>I don't want it to change. I just want to

0:51:49.520 --> 0:51:50.080
<v Speaker 4>understand it.

0:51:50.160 --> 0:51:52.800
<v Speaker 1>I just want to know the role it's played and

0:51:52.880 --> 0:51:56.040
<v Speaker 1>who I am now because I I do so love

0:51:56.160 --> 0:51:59.239
<v Speaker 1>my life and I want to to me, life is

0:51:59.600 --> 0:52:04.040
<v Speaker 1>not interesting if you are not asking a million questions.

0:52:04.480 --> 0:52:06.759
<v Speaker 1>And so that's what this has allowed us to do,

0:52:07.280 --> 0:52:09.200
<v Speaker 1>and to get to know myself better and to know

0:52:09.360 --> 0:52:12.680
<v Speaker 1>the show better, and then also get to know the

0:52:12.760 --> 0:52:15.720
<v Speaker 1>two of these gentlemen better, and for us to deepen

0:52:15.800 --> 0:52:20.120
<v Speaker 1>our bonds and our relationships and reconnect with the people

0:52:20.160 --> 0:52:23.279
<v Speaker 1>who had such a such a hand and shaping our

0:52:23.320 --> 0:52:25.360
<v Speaker 1>memories and our childhoods and our lives.

0:52:26.560 --> 0:52:28.480
<v Speaker 4>You know, what a what a gift.

0:52:29.560 --> 0:52:31.799
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I have I have a quick question for you both,

0:52:32.000 --> 0:52:37.640
<v Speaker 2>because I've been curious about this. Do you think looking

0:52:37.760 --> 0:52:40.759
<v Speaker 2>back at Boy Meets World, the way we are would

0:52:40.800 --> 0:52:44.160
<v Speaker 2>be different for you both had Girl Meets World never happened.

0:52:46.880 --> 0:52:50.879
<v Speaker 3>Absolutely, Yeah, for sure, for sure. Yeah, I mean Girl

0:52:51.200 --> 0:52:53.880
<v Speaker 3>Girl Meets World was the sort of first version of

0:52:54.000 --> 0:52:57.000
<v Speaker 3>doing this podcast for me where I could suddenly see

0:52:57.760 --> 0:53:02.320
<v Speaker 3>the dynamic of our set at being recreated in a

0:53:02.400 --> 0:53:05.680
<v Speaker 3>new context and see it as an adult. And I

0:53:05.920 --> 0:53:09.839
<v Speaker 3>made huge realizations in the course of Girl Meets World, like, oh,

0:53:10.840 --> 0:53:13.200
<v Speaker 3>that's the way we were talked to, that's the way

0:53:13.280 --> 0:53:16.279
<v Speaker 3>we were treated that I that is not the way

0:53:16.320 --> 0:53:19.680
<v Speaker 3>I thought it was, you know. And we can get

0:53:19.680 --> 0:53:21.359
<v Speaker 3>into details about that, but I don't know if it's

0:53:21.360 --> 0:53:24.080
<v Speaker 3>even worth it. But like, certainly, like I my brain

0:53:24.160 --> 0:53:28.480
<v Speaker 3>went through a huge reconfiguration at the age of thirty

0:53:29.480 --> 0:53:32.000
<v Speaker 3>three or whenever Girl Meets World started, where I had

0:53:32.040 --> 0:53:35.600
<v Speaker 3>to like adjust my perspective on the people we had

0:53:35.640 --> 0:53:38.440
<v Speaker 3>been working with and adjust my perspective on the environment

0:53:38.480 --> 0:53:41.480
<v Speaker 3>of a set. I also think just being a director

0:53:41.680 --> 0:53:44.120
<v Speaker 3>in general not only changed the way I think about,

0:53:44.960 --> 0:53:49.000
<v Speaker 3>you know, acting, like I've described, but also you realize

0:53:49.040 --> 0:53:52.359
<v Speaker 3>how limited your view is as an actor, Like when

0:53:52.640 --> 0:53:55.080
<v Speaker 3>an actor shows up on set, especially a kid actor,

0:53:55.680 --> 0:53:58.400
<v Speaker 3>this this thing has been primed for them and everybody

0:53:58.520 --> 0:54:01.839
<v Speaker 3>you know. And and so our worldview from Boy Meets World,

0:54:02.160 --> 0:54:04.160
<v Speaker 3>which I didn't realize until I was older and until

0:54:04.200 --> 0:54:07.600
<v Speaker 3>I took a step into the director's chair, is so limited,

0:54:07.880 --> 0:54:11.200
<v Speaker 3>like it's such a small part of the entire production experience.

0:54:11.440 --> 0:54:14.080
<v Speaker 3>And so having that awareness and being like, oh my god,

0:54:14.160 --> 0:54:16.520
<v Speaker 3>my worldview from Boy Meets World was like just the

0:54:16.680 --> 0:54:19.960
<v Speaker 3>tiniest liver of what was actually going going on, and

0:54:20.040 --> 0:54:22.080
<v Speaker 3>that's that was. So that was the first step in

0:54:22.160 --> 0:54:25.120
<v Speaker 3>that direction. And then I feel like, now that's mostly

0:54:25.320 --> 0:54:27.799
<v Speaker 3>you know, we're kind of continuing that journey that kind

0:54:27.840 --> 0:54:29.000
<v Speaker 3>of began with Girl Meets World.

0:54:29.040 --> 0:54:33.200
<v Speaker 1>From me, yeah, absolutely, one hundred percent. I agree with

0:54:33.280 --> 0:54:37.319
<v Speaker 1>everything you just said. And also I can say from

0:54:37.800 --> 0:54:42.560
<v Speaker 1>childhood Danielle's eyes, the adults we worked with were infallible.

0:54:43.160 --> 0:54:46.640
<v Speaker 1>I took everything they said at face value and truth

0:54:46.880 --> 0:54:52.920
<v Speaker 1>and therefore fact and thought only the highest things of

0:54:53.080 --> 0:54:57.759
<v Speaker 1>everyone we worked with, only every single person. Everything had

0:54:57.920 --> 0:55:02.120
<v Speaker 1>real rose colored glasses on, even when I was thirty

0:55:02.160 --> 0:55:05.080
<v Speaker 1>three years old and looking back at it, and then

0:55:05.520 --> 0:55:07.840
<v Speaker 1>when I went back to the set as an adult

0:55:07.920 --> 0:55:11.360
<v Speaker 1>with all of these anticipations and expectations of what it

0:55:11.480 --> 0:55:13.680
<v Speaker 1>was going to be and who they were and who

0:55:13.800 --> 0:55:16.960
<v Speaker 1>we were going to be in this this recreated environment,

0:55:17.280 --> 0:55:18.279
<v Speaker 1>and I was it.

0:55:18.520 --> 0:55:23.440
<v Speaker 4>Was shocking and just shouldn't have been so shocking.

0:55:23.560 --> 0:55:25.400
<v Speaker 2>What like, what you are?

0:55:25.760 --> 0:55:27.640
<v Speaker 3>Some adults have no idea what's going on?

0:55:28.480 --> 0:55:31.480
<v Speaker 4>And you are You are actually saying things that are untrue,

0:55:32.560 --> 0:55:35.759
<v Speaker 4>but that is not the truth. Why would you say

0:55:35.840 --> 0:55:36.239
<v Speaker 4>such things?

0:55:36.280 --> 0:55:38.480
<v Speaker 3>You're telling the kids one thing and then doing it.

0:55:40.000 --> 0:55:41.880
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, and that's what we're talking about in the beginning.

0:55:41.920 --> 0:55:44.160
<v Speaker 5>It's like, oh, now I'm an adult. I'm an adult

0:55:44.200 --> 0:55:46.719
<v Speaker 5>in the room too, as a fellow adult. What the

0:55:46.800 --> 0:55:47.879
<v Speaker 5>hell is going on there?

0:55:48.040 --> 0:55:48.520
<v Speaker 6>Correct?

0:55:49.280 --> 0:55:49.600
<v Speaker 3>Correct?

0:55:49.680 --> 0:55:50.120
<v Speaker 4>Correct?

0:55:50.480 --> 0:55:52.840
<v Speaker 3>It's such a bizarre experience, and it was.

0:55:53.600 --> 0:55:57.560
<v Speaker 1>It literally turned my little Boy meets World, turned my

0:55:57.600 --> 0:56:01.560
<v Speaker 1>world completely upside down. And all of a sudden, the

0:56:01.680 --> 0:56:05.040
<v Speaker 1>things that I the stories that I remembered, had this

0:56:05.480 --> 0:56:09.200
<v Speaker 1>new lens on them of maybe that wasn't said with

0:56:09.320 --> 0:56:12.960
<v Speaker 1>good intentions, Maybe that isn't actually the truth, maybe this

0:56:13.120 --> 0:56:14.000
<v Speaker 1>person maybe, and.

0:56:14.320 --> 0:56:15.919
<v Speaker 4>I became like, oh my gosh.

0:56:16.480 --> 0:56:19.200
<v Speaker 1>So I think when we went into the podcast, we

0:56:19.320 --> 0:56:23.799
<v Speaker 1>went into the podcast with this feeling of what will

0:56:23.920 --> 0:56:28.560
<v Speaker 1>this reveal to us? And I have actually been very

0:56:28.680 --> 0:56:32.960
<v Speaker 1>pleasantly surprised with what has come back, with what we've

0:56:33.120 --> 0:56:37.040
<v Speaker 1>seen with overall everything that's gone on, it has been

0:56:37.480 --> 0:56:42.600
<v Speaker 1>it's actually been very enjoyable and pleasant, and I am

0:56:42.880 --> 0:56:43.880
<v Speaker 1>thrilled we've done it.

0:56:44.760 --> 0:56:46.279
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, me too, Me too.

0:56:55.880 --> 0:56:57.480
<v Speaker 5>I love that you asked that question well, because I

0:56:57.520 --> 0:57:00.040
<v Speaker 5>think that is such a unique experience, similar to what

0:57:00.200 --> 0:57:01.960
<v Speaker 5>Ryder was talking about with the play that he had done,

0:57:02.000 --> 0:57:04.160
<v Speaker 5>of like getting to come back to it with these

0:57:04.440 --> 0:57:07.560
<v Speaker 5>fresh eyes and like what that brings up positively and

0:57:07.680 --> 0:57:10.200
<v Speaker 5>negatively and remembering too. Like we've been saying, it's like

0:57:10.320 --> 0:57:13.399
<v Speaker 5>it's not all black and white. It's not all good

0:57:13.600 --> 0:57:16.840
<v Speaker 5>or bad. It's like, as humans, we want so badly

0:57:16.960 --> 0:57:18.640
<v Speaker 5>for it to be all good or all bad, because

0:57:18.680 --> 0:57:21.680
<v Speaker 5>that makes sense, that's comfortable. But I feel like what

0:57:21.760 --> 0:57:25.920
<v Speaker 5>this podcast has been doing is really strengthening the gray space,

0:57:26.400 --> 0:57:28.080
<v Speaker 5>because that's usually a space.

0:57:27.880 --> 0:57:29.640
<v Speaker 2>As humans that we avoid because.

0:57:29.360 --> 0:57:31.440
<v Speaker 5>It's so like, I don't know what to do in

0:57:31.480 --> 0:57:36.000
<v Speaker 5>this area, and this is just strengthening that area, so

0:57:36.120 --> 0:57:38.400
<v Speaker 5>there's more space in there to grow and play.

0:57:38.880 --> 0:57:41.160
<v Speaker 1>Yes, well, do you think it's change. Do you think

0:57:41.200 --> 0:57:43.520
<v Speaker 1>Girl Meets were I know you had. You know, you're

0:57:43.720 --> 0:57:46.440
<v Speaker 1>it's very limited, You're very limited, I know. But do

0:57:46.640 --> 0:57:48.640
<v Speaker 1>you think it had any impact on you as well?

0:57:49.960 --> 0:57:52.280
<v Speaker 2>Maybe not so, I mean maybe a little bit. I

0:57:52.400 --> 0:57:55.440
<v Speaker 2>had the same experience with the adults. Yeah, but I

0:57:55.680 --> 0:57:58.800
<v Speaker 2>also knew that the kids were different than we were

0:57:58.920 --> 0:58:01.560
<v Speaker 2>because I remember saying to one of the producers on

0:58:01.600 --> 0:58:04.040
<v Speaker 2>the show, the kids, at least the weeks I've been here,

0:58:04.080 --> 0:58:07.280
<v Speaker 2>they almost never smile. And it was one of those

0:58:07.320 --> 0:58:10.000
<v Speaker 2>things where I had these memories of us running around

0:58:10.320 --> 0:58:12.240
<v Speaker 2>to the point where I then came back for an

0:58:12.280 --> 0:58:14.000
<v Speaker 2>episode and they all lined up in front of me

0:58:14.040 --> 0:58:15.560
<v Speaker 2>and put these big fake smiles on and they're like,

0:58:15.680 --> 0:58:18.600
<v Speaker 2>is this better? Like they literally did it as a joke.

0:58:19.320 --> 0:58:21.920
<v Speaker 2>But that also I attribute that to also kind of

0:58:22.040 --> 0:58:24.840
<v Speaker 2>the self the quote unquote selfishness of the younger generation,

0:58:25.000 --> 0:58:27.120
<v Speaker 2>just meaning you're always on your phone, you're always inside,

0:58:27.120 --> 0:58:29.200
<v Speaker 2>you know, you're you're always in your own little world

0:58:30.200 --> 0:58:32.680
<v Speaker 2>as opposed to we were our worlds back then. We

0:58:32.760 --> 0:58:34.000
<v Speaker 2>weren't on our cell phones. We weren't.

0:58:34.080 --> 0:58:35.320
<v Speaker 4>We had to create our own fund.

0:58:35.400 --> 0:58:35.800
<v Speaker 3>We did.

0:58:36.080 --> 0:58:38.360
<v Speaker 2>We sat, We sat in our director's chairs and talked

0:58:38.360 --> 0:58:40.720
<v Speaker 2>about books and movies. We fought about politics. We did

0:58:40.720 --> 0:58:42.520
<v Speaker 2>all this. I was on the set of Girl Meets World,

0:58:42.560 --> 0:58:44.280
<v Speaker 2>and you know, one actor would be in this corner

0:58:44.360 --> 0:58:46.000
<v Speaker 2>on a phone, one actor be in that corner on

0:58:46.080 --> 0:58:48.440
<v Speaker 2>his phone. They maybe talk as they walk by. It

0:58:48.560 --> 0:58:51.960
<v Speaker 2>was just a whole different vibe. Yeah, And it was

0:58:52.040 --> 0:58:54.200
<v Speaker 2>also just on a personal note, first time getting back

0:58:54.240 --> 0:58:56.920
<v Speaker 2>on camera in front of an audience in years, So

0:58:57.040 --> 0:58:59.080
<v Speaker 2>that was a whole other level of anxiety for me.

0:58:59.200 --> 0:59:03.400
<v Speaker 2>But yeah, I didn't have the same experience of on

0:59:03.520 --> 0:59:05.120
<v Speaker 2>Girl Meet World as anybody did. I was there for

0:59:05.200 --> 0:59:08.520
<v Speaker 2>a total of four episodes, and you know, popping in

0:59:08.600 --> 0:59:11.960
<v Speaker 2>and out for that. So I was not as not

0:59:12.080 --> 0:59:14.520
<v Speaker 2>to use this word, but tainted by girmyts World as

0:59:14.600 --> 0:59:17.040
<v Speaker 2>the two of you were. It was just kind of

0:59:17.080 --> 0:59:19.640
<v Speaker 2>a thing that I did and used it as a

0:59:19.720 --> 0:59:22.680
<v Speaker 2>personal experience more than anything else where. It's like, all right,

0:59:22.680 --> 0:59:24.880
<v Speaker 2>I'm using this to get back on camera and I also.

0:59:24.760 --> 0:59:27.000
<v Speaker 3>Still an actor. You know, we changed our actual role.

0:59:27.120 --> 0:59:27.640
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, exactly.

0:59:27.880 --> 0:59:31.480
<v Speaker 3>I was a producer and an actor for every episode

0:59:31.520 --> 0:59:33.840
<v Speaker 3>and director. I came in as a director first.

0:59:34.040 --> 0:59:35.600
<v Speaker 2>It was yeah, well that's the only reason, like you,

0:59:35.720 --> 0:59:37.520
<v Speaker 2>the only reason I did it is the deal was

0:59:37.600 --> 0:59:41.360
<v Speaker 2>I got to write an episode if I could be free.

0:59:41.960 --> 0:59:44.000
<v Speaker 3>Yeah. And the writing was not a great experience.

0:59:44.240 --> 0:59:46.160
<v Speaker 2>It was just being in the writer's room was not

0:59:46.240 --> 0:59:48.280
<v Speaker 2>a not a great experience for me. And I know

0:59:48.400 --> 0:59:50.480
<v Speaker 2>that's not the norm for all writers rooms, but this

0:59:50.560 --> 0:59:54.320
<v Speaker 2>one wasn't wasn't great and it was. And the thing

0:59:54.360 --> 0:59:56.880
<v Speaker 2>that's so odd is you take you can take seven

0:59:57.000 --> 1:00:01.280
<v Speaker 2>or eight wonderful people who are in incredibly talented and

1:00:01.400 --> 1:00:04.120
<v Speaker 2>put them in a room, and that experience is not

1:00:04.200 --> 1:00:05.760
<v Speaker 2>the same as hanging out with them one on one

1:00:05.880 --> 1:00:07.680
<v Speaker 2>or two at the time or something. It's just it

1:00:08.120 --> 1:00:11.120
<v Speaker 2>changes the dynamic. Yeah, because the right the people that

1:00:11.200 --> 1:00:14.120
<v Speaker 2>were there are some of my favorite people ever. You know,

1:00:14.560 --> 1:00:18.440
<v Speaker 2>love Mark Blutman, love Manel. You know, I'm bless Matt Nelson,

1:00:18.520 --> 1:00:22.400
<v Speaker 2>I miss Matt. You know, Randy, there's some writers up

1:00:22.400 --> 1:00:25.600
<v Speaker 2>there that were just phenomenally talented and wonderful people. But

1:00:26.280 --> 1:00:28.240
<v Speaker 2>then you put them in an environment that might not

1:00:28.360 --> 1:00:31.640
<v Speaker 2>be conducive to let's throw around create you know, the

1:00:31.680 --> 1:00:34.320
<v Speaker 2>best creative ideas, and it doesn't always go the way

1:00:34.360 --> 1:00:36.600
<v Speaker 2>that it should. So yeah, Gromy's World was not an

1:00:36.640 --> 1:00:39.880
<v Speaker 2>experience that My entire takeaway from Gromiy's World is getting

1:00:39.880 --> 1:00:41.400
<v Speaker 2>back in front of an audience, looking up as I

1:00:41.480 --> 1:00:43.240
<v Speaker 2>ran out through the audience the first time ever, them

1:00:43.280 --> 1:00:45.520
<v Speaker 2>standing up and give me a standing ovation and seeing

1:00:45.560 --> 1:00:46.200
<v Speaker 2>my wife crying.

1:00:46.480 --> 1:00:47.320
<v Speaker 3>That's what I take.

1:00:47.760 --> 1:00:49.400
<v Speaker 2>That's what I take from Gromiy's World because I was

1:00:49.440 --> 1:00:51.760
<v Speaker 2>a wonderful memory for me and kind of the rest

1:00:51.800 --> 1:00:54.240
<v Speaker 2>of it be damned, but I was not as involved

1:00:54.320 --> 1:00:56.280
<v Speaker 2>with it as you guys were, which is why there's

1:00:56.280 --> 1:00:57.920
<v Speaker 2>such a difference for me than there was for you.

1:00:58.160 --> 1:00:59.840
<v Speaker 4>Well, and it's another thing. I mean, I wouldn't I

1:00:59.840 --> 1:01:00.880
<v Speaker 4>wouldn't change it either.

1:01:01.080 --> 1:01:03.000
<v Speaker 1>I mean I wouldn't change it because, for one thing,

1:01:03.280 --> 1:01:06.240
<v Speaker 1>those rose colored glasses that I looked back on everything

1:01:06.360 --> 1:01:08.840
<v Speaker 1>with didn't need to be there and and shouldn't have

1:01:08.880 --> 1:01:10.560
<v Speaker 1>been there. And I'm glad to have seen things from

1:01:10.600 --> 1:01:12.640
<v Speaker 1>a different lens and to have that lens on my life.

1:01:12.720 --> 1:01:16.720
<v Speaker 1>And you know, also, I mean those that show brought me.

1:01:17.160 --> 1:01:19.920
<v Speaker 1>Those children are still some of my favorite people in

1:01:19.960 --> 1:01:22.200
<v Speaker 1>the entire world. I mean, Sabrina Carpenter is literally one

1:01:22.240 --> 1:01:24.200
<v Speaker 1>of my best friends. She was a bridesmaid in my wedding.

1:01:24.320 --> 1:01:26.440
<v Speaker 4>Like she is, she is one of the people I

1:01:26.520 --> 1:01:29.080
<v Speaker 4>am closest to in the world. I'm you know.

1:01:29.160 --> 1:01:31.840
<v Speaker 1>Corey foglemanis is also somebody I am still very close with.

1:01:32.040 --> 1:01:35.840
<v Speaker 1>And I love every single one of those children who

1:01:35.920 --> 1:01:38.440
<v Speaker 1>are now full grown adults with children of their own.

1:01:38.480 --> 1:01:40.840
<v Speaker 2>In some cases they're great kids. They're just great kids.

1:01:41.080 --> 1:01:46.520
<v Speaker 4>Peyton does not have a kid, Kira, is there anything

1:01:46.720 --> 1:01:49.040
<v Speaker 4>you We are nearing the end of our time with you,

1:01:49.320 --> 1:01:52.000
<v Speaker 4>and so is there anything before we go that you

1:01:52.560 --> 1:01:54.600
<v Speaker 4>really want to know or another question you'd like to

1:01:54.680 --> 1:01:57.680
<v Speaker 4>ask us based on what you've learned so far, yess

1:01:57.800 --> 1:01:59.400
<v Speaker 4>kind of to wrap it all up and come back

1:01:59.440 --> 1:02:01.160
<v Speaker 4>to where we started with the parts.

1:02:01.360 --> 1:02:02.560
<v Speaker 2>When you think back to.

1:02:02.640 --> 1:02:05.440
<v Speaker 5>The whole experience on Boy Meets World and with all

1:02:05.480 --> 1:02:07.360
<v Speaker 5>of the information you have now as adults and doing

1:02:07.400 --> 1:02:11.320
<v Speaker 5>this podcast, what are the parts that you think needed

1:02:11.360 --> 1:02:14.440
<v Speaker 5>to really come forward in Boy Meets World And what

1:02:14.560 --> 1:02:17.920
<v Speaker 5>were the parts that like you take with you as

1:02:17.920 --> 1:02:20.520
<v Speaker 5>an adult that king forward for Boy Meets World that

1:02:20.680 --> 1:02:22.680
<v Speaker 5>now serve you as an adult as well.

1:02:25.480 --> 1:02:25.680
<v Speaker 3>Well.

1:02:25.880 --> 1:02:27.920
<v Speaker 1>I mean right back to the beginning of the episode,

1:02:27.920 --> 1:02:29.760
<v Speaker 1>when I was talking about things I'm unpacking in my

1:02:29.840 --> 1:02:30.760
<v Speaker 1>own personal therapy.

1:02:30.840 --> 1:02:32.800
<v Speaker 4>That's right up there, and I think it's very interesting.

1:02:33.200 --> 1:02:35.720
<v Speaker 1>I've always described Topanga as being just on the other

1:02:35.800 --> 1:02:38.560
<v Speaker 1>side of my heart, and I'm really not sure where.

1:02:40.080 --> 1:02:43.600
<v Speaker 1>You know, we've talked about like a hippie Topanga, early Topanga,

1:02:43.680 --> 1:02:47.320
<v Speaker 1>quirky Topanga, unique to Panga, was nothing like teenage Danielle.

1:02:47.640 --> 1:02:51.000
<v Speaker 1>But as Tapanga evolved over the years, and as then

1:02:51.120 --> 1:02:54.360
<v Speaker 1>Danielle has evolved over the years, there are parts of

1:02:54.480 --> 1:02:57.640
<v Speaker 1>us that are just so tied together. I can't see

1:02:57.640 --> 1:03:01.040
<v Speaker 1>where one starts and one ends, and I will be

1:03:01.200 --> 1:03:04.280
<v Speaker 1>interested to see Tapanga is very much the type a

1:03:04.440 --> 1:03:07.080
<v Speaker 1>person that Danielle is, and I will be interested to

1:03:07.120 --> 1:03:09.120
<v Speaker 1>see when we get to some of those later episodes

1:03:09.160 --> 1:03:11.760
<v Speaker 1>that I don't really remember, like the episode of Tapanga

1:03:11.840 --> 1:03:14.240
<v Speaker 1>having a nervous breakdown because her parents get a divorce.

1:03:14.600 --> 1:03:17.360
<v Speaker 1>I don't remember what the conversation around it is, but

1:03:17.480 --> 1:03:20.640
<v Speaker 1>it feels like, with little understanding I have of the

1:03:20.720 --> 1:03:23.720
<v Speaker 1>parts of Danielle that are inside that I haven't tapped into.

1:03:23.880 --> 1:03:26.280
<v Speaker 1>It feels as though Topanga has little parts of her

1:03:26.800 --> 1:03:29.560
<v Speaker 1>that she also did not tap into, that she also

1:03:29.720 --> 1:03:35.360
<v Speaker 1>protected with this kind of, you know, facade of let's

1:03:35.440 --> 1:03:37.880
<v Speaker 1>just get things done and let's be this perfectionist. And

1:03:38.040 --> 1:03:41.000
<v Speaker 1>so I want to I look forward to as I

1:03:41.160 --> 1:03:43.800
<v Speaker 1>discover more about myself while watching Boy Meets World and

1:03:43.880 --> 1:03:47.760
<v Speaker 1>doing this podcast. I look forward to almost therapizing.

1:03:48.040 --> 1:03:48.520
<v Speaker 3>Is that a word?

1:03:50.000 --> 1:03:50.520
<v Speaker 4>Make it a word?

1:03:51.440 --> 1:03:55.320
<v Speaker 1>I like the therapy of Tapanga and thinking about what

1:03:55.480 --> 1:03:58.440
<v Speaker 1>Tapanga may have been repressing or not experiencing, or not

1:03:58.600 --> 1:04:01.960
<v Speaker 1>tapping into, or maybe seemed off the wall. Maybe what

1:04:02.120 --> 1:04:05.000
<v Speaker 1>somebody how she could have been helped in other ways.

1:04:05.240 --> 1:04:08.920
<v Speaker 5>So that would be such an interesting, like acting exercise

1:04:08.960 --> 1:04:13.560
<v Speaker 5>for actors to apply this together. Yeah, absolutely rich the

1:04:13.640 --> 1:04:16.240
<v Speaker 5>performance would be. That's such an interesting way of looking

1:04:16.280 --> 1:04:16.480
<v Speaker 5>at it.

1:04:16.760 --> 1:04:19.520
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, righter, do you want me to go? Do you

1:04:19.560 --> 1:04:19.880
<v Speaker 2>want to go?

1:04:20.960 --> 1:04:23.800
<v Speaker 3>I don't know if I have an answer. Parts of gosh,

1:04:23.840 --> 1:04:24.880
<v Speaker 3>what was the question exactly?

1:04:25.120 --> 1:04:27.360
<v Speaker 5>Parts of myself, the parts of yourself that you think

1:04:27.680 --> 1:04:30.400
<v Speaker 5>really came forward because of Boy Meets World, but that

1:04:30.560 --> 1:04:33.120
<v Speaker 5>you find as an adult. Wow, that's a really to

1:04:33.240 --> 1:04:35.720
<v Speaker 5>keep it positive, that's a really helpful part that I

1:04:35.840 --> 1:04:38.000
<v Speaker 5>had to grow during that time and it really still

1:04:38.080 --> 1:04:39.040
<v Speaker 5>serves me as an adult.

1:04:40.360 --> 1:04:51.400
<v Speaker 3>Definitely, story and storytelling and ability to analyze. I learned

1:04:51.560 --> 1:04:55.280
<v Speaker 3>so much from you know, you know, the like what

1:04:55.440 --> 1:04:58.240
<v Speaker 3>is it like ten thousand hours of doing something. I

1:04:58.360 --> 1:05:00.320
<v Speaker 3>feel like just we got the ten thousand hours on

1:05:00.360 --> 1:05:03.120
<v Speaker 3>Boyle's World, and for me, it didn't end up translating

1:05:03.160 --> 1:05:06.360
<v Speaker 3>to acting it, but it did translate to writing and

1:05:06.560 --> 1:05:11.440
<v Speaker 3>directing and thinking about how to break down story to

1:05:11.600 --> 1:05:16.360
<v Speaker 3>understand beats and I, you know, Michael Jacobs was incredible

1:05:16.360 --> 1:05:20.240
<v Speaker 3>about sharing that information and sharing analysis and man am

1:05:20.280 --> 1:05:22.640
<v Speaker 3>I glad uh and then also the studio teachers that

1:05:22.720 --> 1:05:27.680
<v Speaker 3>we had. I discovered intellectualism, Like I discovered that like,

1:05:28.040 --> 1:05:31.640
<v Speaker 3>oh there's a you know, I got access to the

1:05:31.720 --> 1:05:36.000
<v Speaker 3>world of books and poetry and uh. And I'm realizing

1:05:36.080 --> 1:05:38.480
<v Speaker 3>that that wasn't a coincidence. It was built into boy

1:05:38.520 --> 1:05:41.880
<v Speaker 3>Mets World. It's literally every episode we're referencing Shakespeare or something,

1:05:42.120 --> 1:05:44.280
<v Speaker 3>the great work of literature. And so I don't think

1:05:44.320 --> 1:05:47.240
<v Speaker 3>it was a coincidence that that was part of that development.

1:05:47.280 --> 1:05:49.000
<v Speaker 3>And I've always thought of those things as separate. I

1:05:49.040 --> 1:05:52.080
<v Speaker 3>always thought that, like I ran away to college. You know,

1:05:52.200 --> 1:05:54.320
<v Speaker 3>I ended up a Columbia kind of keeping my head

1:05:54.320 --> 1:05:56.840
<v Speaker 3>down and just going to classes and not acting. But

1:05:57.080 --> 1:06:00.480
<v Speaker 3>in retrospect, that was part of the same journey. Actually,

1:06:00.600 --> 1:06:02.120
<v Speaker 3>there was there was a There was this sort of

1:06:02.320 --> 1:06:05.880
<v Speaker 3>like little writer, you know, who was this budding want

1:06:05.880 --> 1:06:08.640
<v Speaker 3>to be intellectual because of Boy Meets World, because of

1:06:08.720 --> 1:06:11.560
<v Speaker 3>what our set engendered, uh, you know, in front of

1:06:11.600 --> 1:06:14.560
<v Speaker 3>the camera and behind the camera. And so I really

1:06:14.800 --> 1:06:17.600
<v Speaker 3>appreciate that and I'm carrying that into my own writing

1:06:17.680 --> 1:06:20.560
<v Speaker 3>and now I teach and and directing. It's it's I

1:06:20.880 --> 1:06:23.960
<v Speaker 3>use it all the time, and I'm so grateful for that. Yeah,

1:06:24.120 --> 1:06:27.200
<v Speaker 3>it cannot I mean, that's just what an opportunity.

1:06:27.760 --> 1:06:27.960
<v Speaker 6>Wow.

1:06:30.440 --> 1:06:32.280
<v Speaker 2>The thing I took with me from Boy Meets World

1:06:32.400 --> 1:06:36.240
<v Speaker 2>is the harsh and wonderful realization that all of this

1:06:36.440 --> 1:06:40.040
<v Speaker 2>is temporary. So let the beauty wash over you when

1:06:40.040 --> 1:06:44.360
<v Speaker 2>it's there, because eventually none of this matters anymore. So

1:06:44.640 --> 1:06:47.800
<v Speaker 2>for all of us. You got to love while we can,

1:06:48.000 --> 1:06:49.800
<v Speaker 2>and love the people that are around us, and our

1:06:49.840 --> 1:06:52.800
<v Speaker 2>friends and our family, and you're gonna have moments that

1:06:52.880 --> 1:06:55.080
<v Speaker 2>are incredible and moments that aren't so good, and they

1:06:55.080 --> 1:06:57.880
<v Speaker 2>all make you who you are and and then it's over,

1:06:58.240 --> 1:07:02.640
<v Speaker 2>So enjoy it. Why you can? I love that.

1:07:02.880 --> 1:07:05.800
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I think that can be a powerful for me.

1:07:05.960 --> 1:07:08.720
<v Speaker 5>I know that is a helpful outlook when the anxiety

1:07:08.800 --> 1:07:11.240
<v Speaker 5>takes over, when depression takes over, things take over. It's

1:07:11.320 --> 1:07:13.480
<v Speaker 5>like remembering, like you said, zooming out, being like this

1:07:13.640 --> 1:07:17.160
<v Speaker 5>is a blip in the in the universe, and just

1:07:17.400 --> 1:07:21.400
<v Speaker 5>cherish what is good and ride through the waves of what's.

1:07:21.280 --> 1:07:24.240
<v Speaker 2>Not so good. Yeah. Well, I mean when I when

1:07:24.280 --> 1:07:26.479
<v Speaker 2>I listen to Writer and Danielle, a lot of times

1:07:27.200 --> 1:07:29.400
<v Speaker 2>when they talk about their biggest regret, it's not being

1:07:29.440 --> 1:07:32.640
<v Speaker 2>able to it's wanting to go back and tell themselves

1:07:32.680 --> 1:07:35.280
<v Speaker 2>to relax and enjoy it more. Yeah, And I think

1:07:35.360 --> 1:07:37.400
<v Speaker 2>that's one of the things. I think that's an important thing,

1:07:37.520 --> 1:07:39.479
<v Speaker 2>is enjoy the moment you're in, even the bad ones.

1:07:39.520 --> 1:07:41.280
<v Speaker 2>You might not enjoy it today, but it's going to

1:07:41.360 --> 1:07:43.560
<v Speaker 2>matter to you. It's going to mean something. So we

1:07:43.720 --> 1:07:46.800
<v Speaker 2>need the bad to have the good. Yeah. Yeah, I agree.

1:07:47.960 --> 1:07:51.200
<v Speaker 1>Well, Kira, thank you so much for being here with

1:07:51.440 --> 1:07:54.760
<v Speaker 1>us and sharing your wisdom. Thank you for listening to

1:07:54.880 --> 1:08:01.320
<v Speaker 1>every episode. I I'm so happy you were here with

1:08:01.480 --> 1:08:01.760
<v Speaker 1>us for this.

1:08:01.840 --> 1:08:03.760
<v Speaker 4>You were the perfect person. I mean you really were.

1:08:03.880 --> 1:08:08.360
<v Speaker 1>You couldn't have found a more perfect person to help

1:08:08.440 --> 1:08:12.120
<v Speaker 1>guide this episode for us. So I will give all

1:08:12.160 --> 1:08:15.240
<v Speaker 1>of your socials and everything. Kira can be found on

1:08:15.320 --> 1:08:19.040
<v Speaker 1>social media platforms at Kira k I E r A

1:08:19.880 --> 1:08:22.479
<v Speaker 1>m U s c A r A. Did I say

1:08:22.479 --> 1:08:23.000
<v Speaker 1>your name right?

1:08:23.760 --> 1:08:28.400
<v Speaker 4>Kira Muscara, Kira Muscara Pretty Muscarra. Yeah, I'd like to

1:08:28.560 --> 1:08:30.800
<v Speaker 4>make lair on it. It's like the makeup Okay. So

1:08:30.960 --> 1:08:33.040
<v Speaker 4>everyone wants to make it rhyme or do something just

1:08:33.280 --> 1:08:34.160
<v Speaker 4>Kira list.

1:08:34.360 --> 1:08:36.760
<v Speaker 1>I get the same thing Danielle Fischell. People want to

1:08:36.800 --> 1:08:38.960
<v Speaker 1>say and I go, oh, it doesn't rhyme, It doesn't rhyme.

1:08:39.080 --> 1:08:40.799
<v Speaker 1>It's yeah, it's just Danielle Fisher.

1:08:41.120 --> 1:08:43.000
<v Speaker 2>Everyone gets right all the time.

1:08:43.080 --> 1:08:46.280
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, Phil Freedom, super Phil Freedom. Okay.

1:08:46.439 --> 1:08:48.960
<v Speaker 1>So, Kira can be found on social media platforms at

1:08:49.040 --> 1:08:54.400
<v Speaker 1>Kira Muscarra, Mascara and online at Kira Muscara dot com.

1:08:54.640 --> 1:08:57.160
<v Speaker 1>And we want to alert everyone of nine to eight eight,

1:08:57.479 --> 1:08:59.479
<v Speaker 1>which is a number you can now dial as the

1:08:59.600 --> 1:09:03.360
<v Speaker 1>National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. It is a great general

1:09:03.439 --> 1:09:06.840
<v Speaker 1>resource for anyone seeking urgent mental health support. And Kira

1:09:06.960 --> 1:09:10.960
<v Speaker 1>recommends Psychology Today dot com Alma and Headway for anyone

1:09:11.000 --> 1:09:14.760
<v Speaker 1>who is looking for a therapist of their own. So, Kira,

1:09:14.880 --> 1:09:16.920
<v Speaker 1>thank you so much. Everyone go give her a follow

1:09:17.320 --> 1:09:19.719
<v Speaker 1>and yeah, thank you for being here with us. Everyone

1:09:20.200 --> 1:09:21.760
<v Speaker 1>as always, Thank you, Kia.

1:09:21.840 --> 1:09:24.080
<v Speaker 5>Thanks, thank you guys so much for having me and

1:09:24.200 --> 1:09:27.920
<v Speaker 5>for just keeping the conversation open throughout the whole experience.

1:09:28.600 --> 1:09:30.760
<v Speaker 3>Come back for season three. We'll just keep doing it.

1:09:31.280 --> 1:09:31.519
<v Speaker 2>Thank you.

1:09:31.840 --> 1:09:33.599
<v Speaker 3>I can't believe how much we just talked.

1:09:34.640 --> 1:09:38.360
<v Speaker 2>I'm sure there will only be more unpack on when

1:09:38.400 --> 1:09:40.200
<v Speaker 2>you do come back. I think you by this point

1:09:40.240 --> 1:09:42.800
<v Speaker 2>you've realized with how much we talk, we each get

1:09:42.800 --> 1:09:43.719
<v Speaker 2>about one question.

1:09:44.080 --> 1:09:47.240
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I think we're gonna go off. I'm sure maybe

1:09:47.280 --> 1:09:51.000
<v Speaker 3>we should do individual therapy sessions with Kara. We should

1:09:51.040 --> 1:09:52.160
<v Speaker 3>just do an episode. That's just.

1:09:55.400 --> 1:09:57.439
<v Speaker 4>Well, thank you so much, Kira, Thank.

1:09:58.800 --> 1:10:01.479
<v Speaker 2>Bye, bye bye. Well that was fun.

1:10:02.160 --> 1:10:03.280
<v Speaker 3>We talked a lot.

1:10:04.920 --> 1:10:08.800
<v Speaker 2>That was the That was the roller coaster equivalent of

1:10:08.880 --> 1:10:09.920
<v Speaker 2>the Goofy Sky School.

1:10:13.280 --> 1:10:14.679
<v Speaker 3>Were you tense? Were intense?

1:10:14.720 --> 1:10:14.920
<v Speaker 5>Will?

1:10:15.080 --> 1:10:15.960
<v Speaker 2>I was? Yeah, I was.

1:10:16.160 --> 1:10:16.679
<v Speaker 3>I wasn't.

1:10:17.240 --> 1:10:20.240
<v Speaker 2>I just it's I just it's very it's a personal thing,

1:10:20.280 --> 1:10:22.200
<v Speaker 2>you know, it's just a very personal thing. Therapy. So

1:10:22.280 --> 1:10:24.280
<v Speaker 2>the idea of you know, talking about boy Metrol and

1:10:24.280 --> 1:10:26.120
<v Speaker 2>putting in the context of boy Metrol is different for

1:10:26.160 --> 1:10:28.880
<v Speaker 2>me than sitting down and you know, you have a

1:10:28.960 --> 1:10:30.880
<v Speaker 2>bond with your therapist. And I didn't know this woman,

1:10:30.960 --> 1:10:33.720
<v Speaker 2>and she's wonderful, but it's it's kind of like, hey,

1:10:33.760 --> 1:10:35.919
<v Speaker 2>let's talk about some of your stuff now. To everybody,

1:10:36.400 --> 1:10:37.720
<v Speaker 2>it's just I don't know, it's weird to me.

1:10:38.479 --> 1:10:43.439
<v Speaker 4>Will doesn't like to talk to people about politics. Uh, therapy, Yeah,

1:10:44.600 --> 1:10:46.160
<v Speaker 4>money makes yeah, don't.

1:10:46.840 --> 1:10:51.080
<v Speaker 3>I'm an open wound. I've just you know, it's it's

1:10:51.120 --> 1:10:52.600
<v Speaker 3>one of the reasons I've only gone to therapy a

1:10:52.680 --> 1:10:55.360
<v Speaker 3>couple of times and never for anything any extended period

1:10:55.400 --> 1:10:57.759
<v Speaker 3>of time. And I think it's partly because I'm always

1:10:57.880 --> 1:10:59.320
<v Speaker 3>therapizing my therapy.

1:11:00.120 --> 1:11:01.519
<v Speaker 4>That's the word I came up with, therapus.

1:11:01.920 --> 1:11:04.560
<v Speaker 3>I am constantly, you know, and I think, much to

1:11:04.960 --> 1:11:07.719
<v Speaker 3>the dismay of my wife and my friends in my life,

1:11:07.760 --> 1:11:11.280
<v Speaker 3>I'm always like psychoanalyzing myself and discussing it. But yeah,

1:11:11.320 --> 1:11:13.840
<v Speaker 3>I should probably compartmentalize that and actually pay somebody to

1:11:13.920 --> 1:11:14.080
<v Speaker 3>do it.

1:11:14.520 --> 1:11:16.920
<v Speaker 2>It's wonderful if you find the right person. It's absolutely wonderful.

1:11:16.960 --> 1:11:17.360
<v Speaker 3>It really is.

1:11:17.439 --> 1:11:19.000
<v Speaker 2>And I again I did it for a finite amount

1:11:19.000 --> 1:11:20.760
<v Speaker 2>of time when I had my when anxiety is really

1:11:20.800 --> 1:11:23.280
<v Speaker 2>bad a couple of years. But it was great. It's

1:11:23.400 --> 1:11:26.160
<v Speaker 2>just you're sitting there, somebody's you know, somebody who's trained

1:11:26.200 --> 1:11:27.679
<v Speaker 2>to do it, is sitting and listening to you talk

1:11:27.800 --> 1:11:30.880
<v Speaker 2>and analyz. It's really helpful. It's really helpful.

1:11:32.479 --> 1:11:35.719
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I'm I'm loving it and writer to your point,

1:11:35.840 --> 1:11:39.200
<v Speaker 1>I am also like always questioning always, but truthfully, there

1:11:39.280 --> 1:11:41.240
<v Speaker 1>have been things that I reached a point where I.

1:11:41.280 --> 1:11:42.920
<v Speaker 4>Was like, I don't have an answer to this. I

1:11:43.040 --> 1:11:44.360
<v Speaker 4>don't know why I don't.

1:11:44.439 --> 1:11:47.240
<v Speaker 1>I'm questioning. I'm going like what what is this? Where

1:11:47.240 --> 1:11:48.519
<v Speaker 1>are these emotions coming from?

1:11:48.600 --> 1:11:50.040
<v Speaker 4>Where? What is this happening?

1:11:50.680 --> 1:11:53.960
<v Speaker 1>Like I had a total wall about certain things like

1:11:54.200 --> 1:11:56.080
<v Speaker 1>and behavior i'd like to change where I like to

1:11:56.120 --> 1:11:57.800
<v Speaker 1>think I could just power through it and mind over

1:11:57.880 --> 1:12:00.840
<v Speaker 1>matter and change this behavior, but like occurring behavior that

1:12:00.920 --> 1:12:02.360
<v Speaker 1>I just can't seem to change, and so it's like

1:12:02.400 --> 1:12:05.920
<v Speaker 1>I obviously need help for that. And it's so it's

1:12:05.960 --> 1:12:08.240
<v Speaker 1>been truly, it's been truly incredible.

1:12:08.400 --> 1:12:08.559
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

1:12:08.560 --> 1:12:10.519
<v Speaker 2>Well, there's also there's things that you don't recognize in

1:12:10.600 --> 1:12:12.760
<v Speaker 2>yourself that you need somebody else to point out to

1:12:12.800 --> 1:12:14.760
<v Speaker 2>you where it's like I didn't even know that I

1:12:14.960 --> 1:12:17.040
<v Speaker 2>was doing that. It's like, yeah, you you are, and

1:12:17.640 --> 1:12:20.160
<v Speaker 2>you can talk about that too. So self realization. Self

1:12:20.200 --> 1:12:23.080
<v Speaker 2>actualization is absolutely wonderful, but occasionally need somebody who's just

1:12:23.120 --> 1:12:25.200
<v Speaker 2>staring at the painting to go, like, we need to

1:12:25.240 --> 1:12:26.160
<v Speaker 2>talk about this part too.

1:12:26.560 --> 1:12:29.360
<v Speaker 1>That's exactly right, It's exactly right. Well, thank you all

1:12:29.400 --> 1:12:31.320
<v Speaker 1>for joining us for this episode of Pod Meets World.

1:12:31.360 --> 1:12:34.640
<v Speaker 1>We've hope You've hope you cried like I did. You

1:12:34.800 --> 1:12:37.280
<v Speaker 1>can follow us on Instagram pod meets World Show.

1:12:37.200 --> 1:12:37.759
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, exactly.

1:12:38.160 --> 1:12:40.240
<v Speaker 1>You can follow us on Instagram at pod meets World Show.

1:12:40.360 --> 1:12:42.400
<v Speaker 1>You can send us your emails pod meets World Show

1:12:42.479 --> 1:12:45.200
<v Speaker 1>at gmail dot com. And as always, we have.

1:12:45.439 --> 1:12:48.479
<v Speaker 2>Merch Tell me about your merchandise.

1:12:50.960 --> 1:12:54.439
<v Speaker 1>Pod meets Worldshow dot com. We'll see y'all next time.

1:12:55.160 --> 1:12:56.040
<v Speaker 1>Writer send us out.

1:12:56.479 --> 1:13:00.960
<v Speaker 3>We love you all, pod dismissed. Podmeets World is an

1:13:01.000 --> 1:13:04.240
<v Speaker 3>iHeart podcast produced and hosted by Danielle Fischel, Wilfredell and

1:13:04.400 --> 1:13:08.320
<v Speaker 3>Ryder Strong. Executive producers Jensen Karp and Amy Sugarman. Executive

1:13:08.360 --> 1:13:11.880
<v Speaker 3>in charge of production, Danielle Romo, Producer and editor Tara

1:13:12.000 --> 1:13:16.200
<v Speaker 3>Sudbach producer, Jackie Rodriguez, engineer and Boy Meets World superfan

1:13:16.360 --> 1:13:19.519
<v Speaker 3>Easton Allen. Our theme song is by Kyle Morton of Typhoon.

1:13:19.760 --> 1:13:22.360
<v Speaker 3>You can follow us on Instagram at Podmets World Show

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<v Speaker 3>or send us an email at Podmeats World Show at

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<v Speaker 3>gmail dot com.