WEBVTT - Episode 3: Drinking from the Holy Grail 0:00:00.320 --> 0:00:03.880 The Hookup is a production of iHeart Podcasts, Blumhouse Television 0:00:03.920 --> 0:00:07.680 and Ember twenty. Listener discretion is totally advised. 0:00:17.480 --> 0:00:19.680 Welcome to Ludlok Cafe. Can I take your order? 0:00:20.440 --> 0:00:24.400 Hi? Can I please get a large cold brew with 0:00:24.520 --> 0:00:25.440 a shot of espresso? 0:00:26.079 --> 0:00:26.599 Absolutely? 0:00:27.080 --> 0:00:28.160 Your name Damien? 0:00:29.160 --> 0:00:29.760 Anything else? 0:00:30.320 --> 0:00:30.840 What do you want? 0:00:31.200 --> 0:00:32.680 Just a black coffee. 0:00:32.360 --> 0:00:34.920 And the black coffee please? The name on that one 0:00:35.000 --> 0:00:35.519 is Santi. 0:00:37.240 --> 0:00:39.720 Great and you're actually all set on payment? 0:00:39.960 --> 0:00:41.360 The person before you took care. 0:00:41.280 --> 0:00:41.800 Of your order? 0:00:42.320 --> 0:00:44.640 What really really? 0:00:45.440 --> 0:00:47.479 The last twenty or so cars, I've been passing it 0:00:47.520 --> 0:00:48.159 on paying for. 0:00:48.120 --> 0:00:53.600 The next person. Oh okay, in that case, I'll also 0:00:53.680 --> 0:00:55.920 take an almond croissant and everything bagel and one of 0:00:55.920 --> 0:00:57.360 those little cake lollipops. 0:00:57.720 --> 0:01:02.360 Oh are you sure you don't want to pay for 0:01:02.400 --> 0:01:04.640 the next person's order to keep the chain going? 0:01:05.160 --> 0:01:09.360 Okay? Okay, so hear me out. Oh boy, if every 0:01:09.360 --> 0:01:12.360 car receives one order and pays for one order, isn't 0:01:12.360 --> 0:01:14.839 it essentially the same as everyone just paying for their own? 0:01:15.480 --> 0:01:18.520 I mean, is buying the next person's drink really altruistic 0:01:18.520 --> 0:01:22.520 if you didn't even buy your own to begin with? Moreover, 0:01:22.880 --> 0:01:26.600 the first person's kindness ultimately doesn't achieve anything until someone 0:01:26.640 --> 0:01:30.200 finally accepts the gift without passing it on. So, if 0:01:30.240 --> 0:01:32.320 you think about it, that first person isn't able to 0:01:32.360 --> 0:01:35.840 collect on their good deed until someone stops the chain, right, 0:01:36.760 --> 0:01:39.560 I yes, so I knew you'd understand. 0:01:41.400 --> 0:01:45.000 Jeez, Duane, any orphans you want to run over while 0:01:45.000 --> 0:01:45.440 we're here? 0:01:45.680 --> 0:01:46.320 Am I wrong? 0:01:46.680 --> 0:01:47.840 I think you're missing the point. 0:01:47.920 --> 0:01:50.120 Boo, boyo. 0:01:51.040 --> 0:01:53.040 The gesture isn't about receiving money. 0:01:53.080 --> 0:01:56.720 It's about making someone smile, passing on something to be 0:01:56.760 --> 0:01:58.240 happy about, even if it's. 0:01:58.120 --> 0:01:58.920 Just for a moment. 0:02:00.800 --> 0:02:07.280 Order for Damien and Santa, that's us. Well, boyo, I 0:02:07.360 --> 0:02:10.519 feel momentarily happy about my free drink, So I guess 0:02:10.560 --> 0:02:20.079 it worked. Hey, this isn't what I ordered. I'm awake. 0:02:20.520 --> 0:02:21.040 I'm awake. 0:02:21.960 --> 0:02:23.800 It's Matteo. Let me in. 0:02:24.960 --> 0:02:29.400 Matteo dropping by unannounced. We met like a week ago, 0:02:30.520 --> 0:02:31.040 one sec. 0:02:32.520 --> 0:02:35.600 Damien, come on, open. 0:02:35.400 --> 0:02:40.119 Up, good grief, mataio chill. I prefer to be medicated 0:02:40.160 --> 0:02:44.080 before receiving visitors. Is there anything better than movie characters 0:02:44.120 --> 0:02:46.880 who take a lot of nondescript hills for some nebulous 0:02:46.919 --> 0:02:50.600 mental illness were never told about. It's like she's tough 0:02:50.639 --> 0:02:53.080 and complex. I'm coming. 0:02:54.480 --> 0:03:00.200 Him sorry for dropping in My ball landed in your backyard. 0:03:00.720 --> 0:03:03.320 And all my irritation at Mateo melts away when I 0:03:03.360 --> 0:03:06.600 see him. It's unclear these days whether that's because of 0:03:06.800 --> 0:03:10.560 him or his resemblance to Santy, but I'll take it 0:03:10.600 --> 0:03:16.120 either way. I like your dorm, Clifton Hall. Baby. The 0:03:16.120 --> 0:03:18.200 only thing more laid back than the RAS is the 0:03:18.200 --> 0:03:19.359 fire safety Protocol. 0:03:20.880 --> 0:03:24.160 How many times have you used that one? Are you 0:03:24.200 --> 0:03:25.359 ready for the midterm? 0:03:25.480 --> 0:03:27.560 Mid term? He says, midterm? 0:03:27.600 --> 0:03:30.760 You say yes, ethics and journalism. 0:03:31.560 --> 0:03:34.080 I'm really not too worried. I mean, how hard could 0:03:34.160 --> 0:03:39.760 ethics in journalism be? Just like, don't be a dick? Wait, 0:03:40.960 --> 0:03:45.920 I feel something. It's it's a joke for me, don't 0:03:45.920 --> 0:03:50.040 be a dick dick. Dick also means detective, private dick. 0:03:50.440 --> 0:03:53.480 There it is private dick. I'm solving a mystery through 0:03:53.480 --> 0:03:57.320 sex and haven't made a private dick joke until now. Ah, 0:03:57.320 --> 0:04:03.560 but what's the actual joke? Mmm mm hmm. You need 0:04:03.560 --> 0:04:05.760 a little help, Joma activate. 0:04:08.880 --> 0:04:12.040 I've told you many times, please do not call me Joma. 0:04:12.160 --> 0:04:14.280 I am joke machine Model three point one three. 0:04:14.720 --> 0:04:17.120 Good to have you back, Joma. All right, so can 0:04:17.160 --> 0:04:17.560 you help. 0:04:17.440 --> 0:04:21.640 Me out analyzing private dick for humor potential? Please check 0:04:21.680 --> 0:04:22.120 back later. 0:04:22.440 --> 0:04:24.080 Hello, any went home? 0:04:24.560 --> 0:04:24.920 Ah ha? 0:04:25.320 --> 0:04:25.520 Hi? 0:04:27.320 --> 0:04:28.360 What were you saying. 0:04:28.600 --> 0:04:30.440 You're gonna regret not studying? 0:04:30.839 --> 0:04:34.039 Who said I didn't study? I've been deep in research mode. 0:04:34.200 --> 0:04:39.719 Have a look porn? How is that studying? 0:04:40.480 --> 0:04:44.000 It's not just any porn Mateo's threesome porn? 0:04:45.200 --> 0:04:48.280 Is this medieval freesome porn? 0:04:48.800 --> 0:04:51.640 Heck? Yah, I think it's like a king Arthur Lancelot 0:04:51.720 --> 0:04:52.360 Merlin thing. 0:04:53.080 --> 0:04:57.279 I've brought kings twice your size to their knees offer, 0:04:57.600 --> 0:04:58.800 and I shall do it. 0:04:58.920 --> 0:04:59.520 I can't. 0:05:00.560 --> 0:05:05.520 All Yon Nagels good shit, right and perfect research for 0:05:05.560 --> 0:05:09.600 tonight's carnal tryad. Okay, here we go. Fifteen second recap. 0:05:10.880 --> 0:05:12.480 I've been trying to question the bell boy from the 0:05:12.560 --> 0:05:15.320 lead the lodge motel turned apartments, but per our metal chats, 0:05:15.360 --> 0:05:17.680 he's only looking for threesomes. But then Matteo said he'd 0:05:17.680 --> 0:05:19.040 be willing to be the third, even though I just 0:05:19.080 --> 0:05:21.719 threatened him with broken glass and anyway, that night I 0:05:21.800 --> 0:05:24.400 DMed bellboy, hey, you still looking for a three way? 0:05:24.640 --> 0:05:27.200 And he said sure, you got someone in mind? 0:05:27.320 --> 0:05:30.279 And I said sure, do. When are you free? So 0:05:30.360 --> 0:05:35.520 he said Thursday, And I said, well, I guess we'll 0:05:35.520 --> 0:05:37.400 all go to the grave, wondering what I said next, 0:05:38.040 --> 0:05:41.760 You dare test me, foul wizard past thou bull witness 0:05:41.839 --> 0:05:44.320 to my heaving meat sword excalibur. 0:05:45.000 --> 0:05:48.200 Heed my warning, lest I make the mice. 0:05:48.120 --> 0:05:53.120 Wild about the threesome thing. The more I think about it, 0:05:53.160 --> 0:05:55.560 the more unlikely. It seems that the bell boy is 0:05:55.600 --> 0:05:59.400 somehow connected to some system appearance and or your stalker. 0:06:00.440 --> 0:06:03.080 Hey, do you want to borrow my fuzzy socks real quick? 0:06:03.960 --> 0:06:04.159 What? 0:06:04.880 --> 0:06:04.960 No? 0:06:05.279 --> 0:06:05.599 Why? 0:06:06.640 --> 0:06:06.719 No? 0:06:07.040 --> 0:06:08.719 I thought they might help with with your cold. 0:06:08.560 --> 0:06:15.240 Feet calculating cold feet joke score seventy one percent sick. 0:06:16.720 --> 0:06:19.920 I tell you, I'm so sorry. That wasn't nice. I 0:06:20.000 --> 0:06:26.600 just like genuinely wonder if I have impulse control issues sometimes, Oh, 0:06:27.000 --> 0:06:27.560 are you mad? 0:06:28.160 --> 0:06:28.360 No? 0:06:29.160 --> 0:06:32.839 I wish you wouldn't always use humor to deflect difficult conversations. 0:06:34.440 --> 0:06:36.440 It's not the first time I've heard that, and I'm 0:06:36.440 --> 0:06:40.039 sure it won't be the last. Santy felt similarly. And 0:06:40.080 --> 0:06:42.520 I know that when multiple people give you the same feedback, 0:06:42.520 --> 0:06:45.080 you should take it to heart. But honestly, I find 0:06:45.120 --> 0:06:48.400 that critique annoying. And choose to remain indignant, Like if 0:06:48.400 --> 0:06:51.039 I wasn't born so naturally funny and personable, I would 0:06:51.080 --> 0:06:54.599 just have found a different way to deflect. Okay, ignoring that, 0:06:55.279 --> 0:06:57.720 so you're not confident that bell Boy is a worthy 0:06:57.760 --> 0:07:00.760 candidate to be my stalker, and let me put your 0:07:00.760 --> 0:07:05.040 a little heart at ease. Exhibit A. Bell Boy was 0:07:05.080 --> 0:07:08.240 at the hotel the night Santy went missing. Exhibit B. 0:07:09.160 --> 0:07:12.120 After the motel, his place of employment, was turned into 0:07:12.160 --> 0:07:15.120 an apartment complex, the bell Boy became a resident there. 0:07:15.240 --> 0:07:19.280 So what hotel employees probably got a discounted rate. Besides, 0:07:19.640 --> 0:07:23.800 your stalker had a Crosswick bad midten hoodie, meaning they're 0:07:23.960 --> 0:07:27.040 likely a Crosswick student or alum. If bell Boy is 0:07:27.080 --> 0:07:31.800 the stalker when you have recognized him from school, I. 0:07:31.760 --> 0:07:34.320 Mean, I think you overestimate how many people here I 0:07:34.560 --> 0:07:43.520 actually know. Anyway, Exhibit C. Twice now twice has bell 0:07:43.560 --> 0:07:45.640 Boy asked if I've tried the hookup? 0:07:45.960 --> 0:07:47.080 Okay, case closed. 0:07:47.240 --> 0:07:49.680 That's suspicious. I mean, I mean, what if the hookup 0:07:49.720 --> 0:07:52.480 is the code name for some secret new drug and 0:07:52.520 --> 0:07:59.920 then Santy found out about it and then he got silenced. Yeah, 0:08:00.120 --> 0:08:04.280 I know, Hey, if you don't want to go through 0:08:04.280 --> 0:08:08.560 with this. That is totally fine. Really, there's no pressure, 0:08:09.120 --> 0:08:09.720 I promise. 0:08:10.680 --> 0:08:14.720 I appreciate that. But no, it's fine. I'm just psyching 0:08:14.720 --> 0:08:17.880 myself out. Can we at least get dinner. 0:08:17.640 --> 0:08:23.520 First dinner, before our first threesome? I mean, obviously, should 0:08:23.520 --> 0:08:25.000 we invite the other guy too quick? 0:08:25.360 --> 0:08:29.360 We must consummate the triad of ex caliber, whilst the 0:08:29.520 --> 0:08:33.200 nights of the round table their witness. Can we turn 0:08:33.240 --> 0:08:33.640 that off? 0:08:34.440 --> 0:08:36.760 You don't want to know how they consummate the triad 0:08:36.800 --> 0:08:37.560 of ex caliber. 0:08:38.040 --> 0:08:40.959 I'm more focused than the triad of Ludlow Hills right now. 0:08:41.400 --> 0:08:44.320 Anything else you can tell me about this bellboy guy 0:08:45.040 --> 0:08:45.880 an exhibit D. 0:08:47.280 --> 0:08:50.439 I'll show him my Exhibit D joke score below ten 0:08:50.480 --> 0:08:53.240 percent initiating forced sleep protocol. 0:08:53.640 --> 0:09:00.520 Hey, that's not fair. I didn't even say it out loud. 0:09:10.800 --> 0:09:12.559 This is the Ludlow Lodge. 0:09:12.880 --> 0:09:16.760 Yeah, home to some of my favorite life altering tragedies. 0:09:17.000 --> 0:09:20.959 And it was just renovated this past summer. It looks io. 0:09:22.240 --> 0:09:26.440 Yeah, I think renovation with a very soft r. The 0:09:26.480 --> 0:09:28.800 only real addition they made was the pool. 0:09:28.840 --> 0:09:29.840 Their pools new. 0:09:31.280 --> 0:09:33.760 M hmm. 0:09:34.800 --> 0:09:38.880 I was just thinking that kind of wet cement construction 0:09:39.320 --> 0:09:40.079 could make. 0:09:39.960 --> 0:09:44.400 For easy body disposal, especially for someone with. 0:09:44.440 --> 0:09:51.880 Easy access like a bell boy. Oh oh shit, I 0:09:51.920 --> 0:09:55.719 didn't mean that Santhia's body would need disposing of. I'm 0:09:55.760 --> 0:09:58.240 sure the only thing under that pool is the Native 0:09:58.240 --> 0:09:59.400 American burial grounds. 0:09:59.440 --> 0:10:07.839 We with this albatross hospitality? Yeah, yeah, cheer up, boyo? 0:10:08.040 --> 0:10:08.920 What did you just call me? 0:10:10.280 --> 0:10:10.679 Boyo? 0:10:12.200 --> 0:10:13.040 Where'd you hear that. 0:10:14.520 --> 0:10:14.720 From? 0:10:14.760 --> 0:10:16.000 You? 0:10:16.000 --> 0:10:17.440 You called me that the other day? 0:10:18.120 --> 0:10:20.680 Did I? I guess it's possible. 0:10:22.360 --> 0:10:24.360 Here we are, Room three ten. 0:10:25.160 --> 0:10:30.200 Take this is this mace? You brought mace to our threesome? 0:10:31.000 --> 0:10:31.920 Duh? 0:10:32.040 --> 0:10:34.280 You suspected this guy might be your stalker and you 0:10:34.320 --> 0:10:35.680 didn't bring any protection? 0:10:36.360 --> 0:10:39.319 Well, I mean I brought m never mind. 0:10:40.000 --> 0:10:42.319 Wow, you were just about to make a condom joke, 0:10:42.360 --> 0:10:42.760 were you? 0:10:42.920 --> 0:10:42.959 So? 0:10:43.160 --> 0:10:46.160 What if I was, I'd be making a Spanish inquisition 0:10:46.240 --> 0:10:48.520 joke right now too, if I wasn't afraid it might 0:10:48.559 --> 0:10:49.280 be offensive. 0:10:50.160 --> 0:10:52.240 What I'm not Spanish? 0:10:52.559 --> 0:10:54.000 Yeah, that's why it would be offensive. 0:10:54.880 --> 0:10:58.400 We're walking into total uncertainty. But I'm glad you're having fun. 0:10:58.520 --> 0:11:01.200 Oh great? So is this the Damien uses jokes to 0:11:01.200 --> 0:11:04.200 deflect from opening up and being vulnerable. Bit again, your 0:11:04.240 --> 0:11:12.920 words not mine? But yes, hey, Damien, hold on bell Boy. 0:11:13.040 --> 0:11:16.000 That is so unfair, Mateo, How can you accuse me 0:11:16.040 --> 0:11:18.559 of not opening up to you when you're literally the 0:11:18.600 --> 0:11:22.719 only person I've told about sansum about my situation. 0:11:22.440 --> 0:11:24.800 Because as far as I know, you only told me 0:11:24.840 --> 0:11:25.640 so I join you in this. 0:11:25.679 --> 0:11:30.160 Three okay, Hi, sorry about that. I was just enjoying 0:11:30.240 --> 0:11:37.720 some beguiling repartee with my friend Mateo, fire, come on in. 0:11:39.360 --> 0:11:42.200 Unlike my chiropractor friend fake Tal, who lives just a 0:11:42.200 --> 0:11:45.040 few floors up, bell Boy has done next nothing to 0:11:45.080 --> 0:11:48.480 turn this hotel room into an apartment. He even kept 0:11:48.520 --> 0:11:53.080 all the nautical hotel art. Yeah. Can I get you 0:11:53.120 --> 0:11:54.480 boys a drink? Sure? 0:11:54.800 --> 0:11:57.480 Yeah? No thanks. I like to keep my wits about me, 0:11:59.000 --> 0:11:59.600 all right. 0:12:00.080 --> 0:12:03.880 A beer for Damien and some wits for Matthew m 0:12:04.600 --> 0:12:06.199 he could use some wit, all right. 0:12:07.880 --> 0:12:11.640 So is this be legid or part of some like 0:12:11.760 --> 0:12:12.640 role play thing? 0:12:13.240 --> 0:12:17.559 The only roleplay Damien likes involves medieval times. 0:12:17.120 --> 0:12:23.280 And mad respect little man. I think you'll appreciate these 0:12:23.360 --> 0:12:32.000 then boom medieval weapons, print boxer breeves pretty fire right. 0:12:32.320 --> 0:12:35.920 Be still my throbbing. All that studying is about to 0:12:35.920 --> 0:12:40.880 pay off. They're magnificent. Fuck well, I mean you must 0:12:40.920 --> 0:12:45.400 be a real weapons expert. I wonder, though, are you 0:12:45.520 --> 0:12:47.600 trained in the art of the shoust? 0:12:48.520 --> 0:12:51.280 I will have you off your horse and on your 0:12:51.440 --> 0:12:54.160 back before you can say malonde. 0:12:55.360 --> 0:12:57.800 So uh, yeah, how long have you lived here? 0:12:58.600 --> 0:13:01.680 Mattyo's right, can't lose sight of the investigation? 0:13:02.720 --> 0:13:05.679 What uh since the summer? 0:13:05.880 --> 0:13:10.400 I don't, I guess. And this was a hotel before that, right? Yeah? 0:13:10.520 --> 0:13:11.520 I actually worked as a. 0:13:11.440 --> 0:13:13.960 Bell boy here when it was brought out to become apartments. 0:13:14.000 --> 0:13:16.840 They offered me discounted rent if I stayed on working maintenance. 0:13:16.920 --> 0:13:20.720 So yeah, Mateo flashes me, and I told you so. 0:13:20.920 --> 0:13:22.720 Glance and honestly that's fair. 0:13:23.280 --> 0:13:28.400 Yeah, what's with all the questions? Shit, wait a minute, 0:13:28.440 --> 0:13:29.199 I know who you are. 0:13:29.840 --> 0:13:33.559 Who I am? I don't even know who I am? Still, 0:13:33.600 --> 0:13:35.800 I don't want him recognizing me From the night Santy 0:13:35.880 --> 0:13:40.840 disappeared behind bell boy. I catch Mateo slowly reaching for 0:13:40.920 --> 0:13:41.360 his mace. 0:13:42.640 --> 0:13:45.040 You're the guy I ran into last week out in 0:13:45.040 --> 0:13:45.559 the hallway. 0:13:46.280 --> 0:13:54.840 Oh oh, was that you? Small world? I brought condoms? 0:13:55.600 --> 0:13:59.400 Should we use them? I mean that would be the idea. 0:14:00.160 --> 0:14:01.480 I'm not on prep right now. 0:14:01.800 --> 0:14:08.480 Or should we keep it a secret? What it could 0:14:08.520 --> 0:14:11.480 be an experiment. You don't know who's wearing one and 0:14:11.520 --> 0:14:17.839 who's not. Why would we do that Schrodinger's rubber, It'll 0:14:17.880 --> 0:14:19.800 be like we're protected and. 0:14:19.800 --> 0:14:26.160 Bareback followed I'm sure by Schrodinger's burning sensation, well peeing, uh. 0:14:25.960 --> 0:14:28.400 Yeah, no, thank you? Yeah, maybe next time? 0:14:29.520 --> 0:14:32.080 Hey, can you two hold down the fort for a sec? 0:14:32.480 --> 0:14:34.360 I have to use the en suite. 0:14:34.720 --> 0:14:36.480 Yeah, watch out for the lamp cord. 0:14:37.880 --> 0:14:40.080 Okay, if I was a clue, where would I be? 0:14:41.000 --> 0:14:42.880 I'm not even really sure what I'm looking for at 0:14:42.880 --> 0:14:46.400 this point. I mean, Bell Boys seems pretty innocuous, and 0:14:46.440 --> 0:14:48.680 I'm sure Mateo would have said something if he recognized 0:14:48.760 --> 0:14:52.560 him from the badminton team. Also, I do acknowledge my 0:14:52.640 --> 0:14:56.400 compulsion to criticize other people's homes, but this bathroom is 0:14:56.480 --> 0:15:02.720 heinously nautical. They're literal starfish on the wall, farfish. Okay, 0:15:02.800 --> 0:15:08.680 let's see toothpaste, Boss Carling wand oh cordless, Hi tech, 0:15:09.200 --> 0:15:11.960 Hey Joma, any progress on the private Dick joke? 0:15:12.440 --> 0:15:14.800 Joe's still invaded dead things. Please check back later. 0:15:15.280 --> 0:15:18.480 Sweet. I'm pretty much ready to declare this lead at 0:15:18.480 --> 0:15:21.040 dead end, but there's one more thing about Bell Boy. 0:15:21.080 --> 0:15:25.720 I want to check off the hookup? What is that? 0:15:25.880 --> 0:15:27.720 Which I didn't even know was possible. 0:15:27.800 --> 0:15:30.840 I thought syphilis was mythical like camel up. 0:15:31.000 --> 0:15:32.960 Hey, bell boy, who's up? 0:15:33.360 --> 0:15:34.920 Little squire. 0:15:36.480 --> 0:15:40.200 On metal? You said you have the hook up? Do 0:15:40.240 --> 0:15:45.280 you think I could get hooked up higher? 0:15:45.960 --> 0:15:46.120 Oh? 0:15:46.200 --> 0:15:49.160 I thought you'd never ask. Okay, we're it up with. 0:15:51.080 --> 0:15:55.000 Here we go and there it is the hookup. 0:15:56.040 --> 0:15:59.240 Poppers, Oh, poppers? 0:16:00.280 --> 0:16:03.520 Yeah, but I mean these aren't just in me poppers 0:16:03.560 --> 0:16:05.320 and this is the hook up? 0:16:13.000 --> 0:16:16.040 Oh fuck? 0:16:16.960 --> 0:16:19.640 Ellboy throws his head back, his face suddenly all red 0:16:19.680 --> 0:16:22.440 and flush, and the veins all over his body start 0:16:22.480 --> 0:16:26.520 to literally like pulse. I lock eyes with Potato as 0:16:26.520 --> 0:16:30.240 if to say, is that what poppers normally do? He 0:16:30.320 --> 0:16:32.720 shakes his head and widens his eyes and concern, as 0:16:32.760 --> 0:16:34.720 if to say, not like this. 0:16:36.160 --> 0:16:41.240 Oh man, Oh, it's like drinking from the Holy Grail. 0:16:41.440 --> 0:16:44.640 Here you guys drive dry before my rush words off. 0:16:44.680 --> 0:16:47.640 Oh yeah, we're okay, thanks for real. 0:16:48.320 --> 0:16:52.240 Come on, it'll make fool like the best sex you 0:16:52.280 --> 0:16:52.720 ever have. 0:16:53.720 --> 0:16:56.040 Right, it's just having the best sex of my life 0:16:56.080 --> 0:16:58.520 at twenty seems like I'm setting myself up for a 0:16:58.560 --> 0:17:03.520 lot of future disappointments. How fuck does that sound? Was that? 0:17:03.760 --> 0:17:04.720 Let us his neck? 0:17:05.040 --> 0:17:07.280 Don't be a web. Take a fucking web. 0:17:10.000 --> 0:17:15.120 God, you are going to regret that. Hell boys either 0:17:15.119 --> 0:17:17.440 are bleeding now, like in a really not good way, 0:17:18.040 --> 0:17:21.119 but they're still wide open, like completely unfazed. 0:17:21.960 --> 0:17:27.560 Amien, watch the lamp cordmen. 0:17:33.880 --> 0:17:41.760 Damien, Damien, Damien. 0:17:44.760 --> 0:17:47.479 You hit your head. You've been out for six minutes. 0:17:48.040 --> 0:17:50.639 Lasting brain damage will be significant, but you like we 0:17:50.720 --> 0:17:51.720 won't notice the difference. 0:17:53.640 --> 0:17:58.680 Why am I in the bathroom? Why am I tied 0:17:58.760 --> 0:18:00.639 up in the bathroom? 0:18:00.680 --> 0:18:03.400 I believe you're a sailant wanted you momentarily and disposed 0:18:03.400 --> 0:18:04.880 so he could focus on Mateo. 0:18:07.080 --> 0:18:08.679 Just take away and I will let you go. 0:18:09.480 --> 0:18:17.760 Fuck Matteo, go Matyo. Well, okay, focus, How do I 0:18:17.800 --> 0:18:22.879 get out of this twine? Is like boy scout nodded, No, 0:18:23.000 --> 0:18:26.000 I'm getting that untied, but I think my hand can 0:18:26.119 --> 0:18:33.919 just barely reach the sink behind me. Uh toothpaste, dental flossy? 0:18:37.119 --> 0:18:37.600 What's this? 0:18:39.920 --> 0:18:40.240 Yes? 0:18:40.440 --> 0:18:45.960 Of course, the curling wand my own as caliber heating up. 0:18:47.760 --> 0:18:49.920 Come on, I need to be out of his bathroom. 0:18:50.400 --> 0:18:56.960 These goddamn starfish are mocking me, locked and loaded. Okay, 0:18:57.760 --> 0:18:59.560 if I can get the wand up against the big 0:18:59.640 --> 0:19:02.080 knob between my hands. I should be able to see 0:19:02.080 --> 0:19:05.000 her through the twine and get free. The only issue 0:19:05.000 --> 0:19:07.359 there is that my range of mobility is mind. I 0:19:07.400 --> 0:19:09.560 can't get the wand to touch the knob without also 0:19:09.640 --> 0:19:21.120 pressing into my wrists. Yeah, okay, Damien, be brave. Oh 0:19:21.119 --> 0:19:26.280 my god, fuck I can smell my flesh burning. This 0:19:26.320 --> 0:19:32.000 is so fucked up. Sho much distract me, tell. 0:19:31.840 --> 0:19:35.560 Me joke understood. The curling one isn't actually touching the 0:19:35.640 --> 0:19:40.200 twine and you're burning your arm for nothing, just kidding? 0:19:43.040 --> 0:19:43.560 Did I get it? 0:19:44.920 --> 0:19:46.359 Don't look at it. Don't look at it, don't look 0:19:46.359 --> 0:19:52.399 at your Holy fuck, I can see bone, Jamien, you 0:19:52.960 --> 0:19:55.040 starfish coming with me? 0:19:57.119 --> 0:20:09.240 Just an alex, your tight. 0:20:10.960 --> 0:20:13.640 D don't bother. We are checking out. 0:20:14.520 --> 0:20:15.280 What wait? 0:20:15.280 --> 0:20:17.399 How did you slam bellboy from behind the honey and 0:20:17.520 --> 0:20:20.840 he gets an ugly wallpaper sliding the starfish out of 0:20:20.920 --> 0:20:23.760 my pocket with my free hand. My experience at the 0:20:23.840 --> 0:20:26.960 Ludlow Lodge this evening has sucked ass, and for that 0:20:28.000 --> 0:20:29.000 I give you one. 0:20:28.920 --> 0:20:35.800 Star, calculating one star joke score plus ten percent for 0:20:35.880 --> 0:20:39.320 the hotel reference, plus ten percent for the starfish stabbing 0:20:39.359 --> 0:20:40.440 one star connection. 0:20:40.280 --> 0:20:45.480 Joema, you don't have to explain my joke. Now it's 0:20:45.560 --> 0:20:47.320 like a thing and the moment is gone and it's 0:20:47.400 --> 0:20:53.679 like uncool. But what's the score? Nine fire? Come on mateyo, 0:20:53.760 --> 0:20:56.119 we have to go get up. Come on, I got you? 0:20:56.480 --> 0:20:57.840 Oh my head. 0:20:59.240 --> 0:21:02.520 Hey no, don't worry. Beat red and veiny is gonna 0:21:02.520 --> 0:21:03.480 be a very good look on you. 0:21:06.480 --> 0:21:07.120 He was right? 0:21:08.359 --> 0:21:14.920 What when he said the hookup was like drinking from 0:21:15.000 --> 0:21:15.959 the Holy Grail? 0:21:17.640 --> 0:21:26.080 Uh yeah, let's get back to campus. I don't get it. 0:21:26.680 --> 0:21:28.680 Why didn't you turn into a rage monster? 0:21:29.359 --> 0:21:34.600 I don't know. Maybe Bell Boys Hoopers was unrelated to 0:21:34.640 --> 0:21:35.600 the hookup. 0:21:37.440 --> 0:21:40.760 So then the hookup is just normal poppers? 0:21:40.840 --> 0:21:47.600 Then no, no, they're not normal poppers. I don't even 0:21:47.640 --> 0:21:51.360 know how to describe it. When I inhaled the hookup, 0:21:51.680 --> 0:21:56.200 it was like nothing I've ever felt. I was unbreakable, 0:21:57.480 --> 0:22:02.600 and my lust to test that power was insatial. 0:22:04.640 --> 0:22:07.400 Sorry, that was just for the before everything went wrong 0:22:07.640 --> 0:22:11.160 segment of your intervention episode. Oh and don't even start 0:22:11.240 --> 0:22:15.159 with the using humor to deflect nonsense. I almost seared 0:22:15.200 --> 0:22:16.440 my arm off today saving you. 0:22:16.880 --> 0:22:19.480 Oh come on, okay, your arm's not that bad. 0:22:20.280 --> 0:22:23.800 He's actually kind of right. I may have exaggerated earlier 0:22:23.840 --> 0:22:25.160 when I said I could see bone. 0:22:25.920 --> 0:22:28.800 Besides, I was only in danger because of your stupid 0:22:28.840 --> 0:22:30.040 threesome in the first place. 0:22:30.160 --> 0:22:32.359 I said you didn't have to go through with it, Mateo. 0:22:32.560 --> 0:22:33.480 You had a choice. 0:22:33.560 --> 0:22:35.160 Oh yeah, two great choices. 0:22:35.400 --> 0:22:37.600 Put my life in danger or spend all night thinking 0:22:37.600 --> 0:22:39.720 about the guy I like sleeping with someone else. 0:22:43.720 --> 0:22:46.200 I didn't know you still had metal on your phone. 0:22:46.920 --> 0:22:52.400 Fuck, I'm mateyo, Damien, the private dick joke is ready? 0:22:53.240 --> 0:22:55.680 What you've been working on that all this time? 0:22:56.920 --> 0:22:59.440 Can I wait negative for a maximum jokes for it? 0:22:59.520 --> 0:23:00.679 It must be deployed now. 0:23:01.440 --> 0:23:04.480 This is bad, way bad. Like I know this is 0:23:04.520 --> 0:23:07.119 a moment where I'm supposed to reassure Mateo and gently 0:23:07.280 --> 0:23:10.840 remind him that we're not dating or exclusive, and yet 0:23:10.880 --> 0:23:11.720 I just can't resist. 0:23:11.920 --> 0:23:13.880 It's requesting permission to deploy joke. 0:23:15.720 --> 0:23:18.760 I'll fuck it deploy. There's a lot you don't know 0:23:18.800 --> 0:23:22.280 about me, Mateo. I guess you could say I'm something 0:23:22.359 --> 0:23:28.760 of a private dick. Are you kidding me? Joma, that's 0:23:28.800 --> 0:23:31.200 the joke you've been working on all day? I just 0:23:31.440 --> 0:23:33.520 fire bombed my relationship with Matteo for that. 0:23:34.359 --> 0:23:37.640 Perhaps you don't understand you're private because you don't open 0:23:37.760 --> 0:23:38.080