WEBVTT - Betrayal Weekly: EP 1 – Stephanie, Part 1 0:00:00.960 --> 0:00:04.000 One of the things that I kept a screenshot of 0:00:04.240 --> 0:00:08.480 was the one that I thought was the worst. It's 0:00:08.520 --> 0:00:13.360 a collage. It's almost like a Christmas card. There's some 0:00:13.440 --> 0:00:15.520 writing on the top and the bottom and then all 0:00:15.600 --> 0:00:20.599 these different photos. The photo in the top corner is 0:00:20.920 --> 0:00:24.159 a picture of my face, and then the rest of 0:00:24.200 --> 0:00:28.800 the pictures are nudes and they become ever an ever 0:00:29.200 --> 0:00:33.920 more close up and across the top it says something 0:00:33.960 --> 0:00:38.600 along the lines of slut wife alert. Do you know 0:00:38.680 --> 0:00:42.920 this woman? And that's out there and I can't ever 0:00:42.960 --> 0:00:43.520 get it back. 0:00:56.040 --> 0:00:59.880 I'm Andrea Gunning, and this is Betrayal, a show about 0:00:59.880 --> 0:01:03.640 the people we trust the most and the deceptions that 0:01:03.760 --> 0:01:12.480 change everything. Here at Betrayal, we've received hundreds of emails 0:01:12.920 --> 0:01:17.440 messages from listeners telling us their own shocking stories, and 0:01:17.520 --> 0:01:20.040 we knew we had to find a way to share them. 0:01:20.800 --> 0:01:24.320 So I'm excited to announce that every Thursday, we will 0:01:24.360 --> 0:01:28.000 be bringing you new, fascinating stories of resilience in the 0:01:28.040 --> 0:01:29.839 face of devastating betrayal. 0:01:30.560 --> 0:01:31.640 Some stories may. 0:01:31.560 --> 0:01:34.200 Be told over a week or two weeks, some more, 0:01:34.920 --> 0:01:38.280 and we knew where to start. A listener who emailed 0:01:38.360 --> 0:01:42.039 us in the summer of twenty twenty three, she wrote, 0:01:42.400 --> 0:01:45.920 I've been in this betrayal club for over two years now. 0:01:46.560 --> 0:01:50.000 When I discovered your podcast, I was intrigued. We were 0:01:50.000 --> 0:01:53.640 the couple that all the other couples envied. We were 0:01:53.680 --> 0:01:57.600 best friends, walking down main street, holding hands and giggling 0:01:57.640 --> 0:02:03.240 like newlyweds after two decades together. The email explained that 0:02:03.280 --> 0:02:07.800 she didn't just love her husband, she liked him. He 0:02:08.040 --> 0:02:11.160 was the love of her life, or so she thought. 0:02:13.120 --> 0:02:15.760 It's funny how so many of these betrayal stories start 0:02:15.800 --> 0:02:20.640 the same way, beautiful, long term relationships that aren't what 0:02:20.680 --> 0:02:26.000 they appear to be. This is Stephanie's story, although that's. 0:02:25.800 --> 0:02:26.720 Not her real name. 0:02:27.480 --> 0:02:29.440 All the names will hear in this story have been 0:02:29.520 --> 0:02:32.360 changed or censored to respect her privacy. 0:02:33.000 --> 0:02:36.000 We got married in nineteen ninety eight. It was a 0:02:36.040 --> 0:02:39.760 second marriage for both of us. I came with four boys. 0:02:39.880 --> 0:02:41.680 He had a boy and a girl. Our kids were 0:02:41.720 --> 0:02:46.120 already friends and were thrilled about us being together. 0:02:48.520 --> 0:02:51.959 Stephanie and her husband I'm gonna call him Greg, live 0:02:52.040 --> 0:02:55.560 together in a tiny Midwestern town. It's the kind of 0:02:55.600 --> 0:02:57.680 town where everybody knows everybody. 0:02:58.919 --> 0:03:02.400 It's like a small town that you would see on 0:03:03.280 --> 0:03:06.840 a movie or a sitcom. I didn't want my husband 0:03:06.919 --> 0:03:09.760 to go to the grocery store with me. It just 0:03:09.800 --> 0:03:13.720 would take so long if he went with because we 0:03:13.800 --> 0:03:17.640 knew every person at the store and everyone would have 0:03:17.720 --> 0:03:19.680 to stop and visit with him. 0:03:20.200 --> 0:03:24.040 Their big, blended family was well known in town. Picture 0:03:24.200 --> 0:03:27.239 a modern day Brady bunch. At least that's the feeling 0:03:27.320 --> 0:03:30.600 I got from a photo she shared with me. It's Stephanie, 0:03:30.639 --> 0:03:34.000 her sons, and Greg's kids, all six of them standing 0:03:34.040 --> 0:03:37.400 side by side on the beach, smiling. Their family takes 0:03:37.480 --> 0:03:40.800 up the whole three by five photo across their arm 0:03:40.880 --> 0:03:42.880 and arm having the best beach vacation. 0:03:43.640 --> 0:03:44.600 It's really sweet. 0:03:45.960 --> 0:03:53.480 He was the absolute ideal husband. He was my best friend. 0:03:53.720 --> 0:03:57.480 He did housework, he cooked, he played with the kids, 0:03:58.280 --> 0:04:00.920 and when the kids were little, we would go in 0:04:01.000 --> 0:04:04.160 and volunteer at their elementary school and help with their 0:04:04.240 --> 0:04:08.680 reading groups, which was super fun and like what their 0:04:08.800 --> 0:04:12.080 dad does that? I mean back in those days, he 0:04:12.120 --> 0:04:14.960 was the only dad who volunteered, and the kids all 0:04:15.080 --> 0:04:16.560 loved him. 0:04:16.920 --> 0:04:19.920 There's another photo of Stephanie and her husband in front 0:04:19.960 --> 0:04:22.599 of a waterfall in a forest with his arms wrapped 0:04:22.640 --> 0:04:25.919 around her. The sun lights her face, and she looks 0:04:25.960 --> 0:04:27.599 relaxed and blissful. 0:04:28.240 --> 0:04:36.960 He was very kind, very generous, very interested in hearing 0:04:37.400 --> 0:04:42.480 what I had to say. He very much lifted me up. 0:04:43.720 --> 0:04:48.560 He made me feel seen, and he made me feel 0:04:48.680 --> 0:04:51.240 like I was smart and competent. 0:04:52.080 --> 0:04:56.200 They had great chemistry. They made great partners, not just 0:04:56.240 --> 0:04:58.040 in marriage but in business. 0:04:59.400 --> 0:05:02.800 I just end upded up working at my husband's optometry practice, 0:05:02.839 --> 0:05:06.960 because you know, it's a small practice, just him. He 0:05:07.200 --> 0:05:11.440 always had three employees and one quit and I was 0:05:11.520 --> 0:05:13.920 kind of in between jobs, so it's like, oh, could 0:05:13.960 --> 0:05:14.760 you just fill in? 0:05:15.200 --> 0:05:18.400 Stephanie did a lot more than just fill in. She 0:05:18.520 --> 0:05:23.440 started managing her husband's optometry practice, pushing insurance claims through 0:05:23.560 --> 0:05:26.840 and making the business more profitable than ever. They had 0:05:26.839 --> 0:05:28.440 a clear vision for their future. 0:05:28.800 --> 0:05:32.080 We certainly were not rich, but we were very comfortable. 0:05:32.800 --> 0:05:35.920 We had our own resort in our backyard. We had 0:05:35.960 --> 0:05:41.400 a large in ground pool, hot ub, basketball court. Have 0:05:41.520 --> 0:05:47.000 this great photo of Greg on his giant pool lounger 0:05:47.800 --> 0:05:52.080 watching the Master's golf tournament on our outdoor big screen TV. 0:05:53.960 --> 0:05:57.480 We had just begun a plan of getting the house 0:05:57.720 --> 0:06:02.200 absolutely perfect and maintenance for when we retired. 0:06:03.400 --> 0:06:06.880 Of course, there were hard moments, bumps along the way, 0:06:07.560 --> 0:06:10.840 and a twenty two year marriage that's par for the course. 0:06:11.279 --> 0:06:16.360 At one point, he admitted that he hadn't been paying 0:06:16.400 --> 0:06:20.320 the taxes at his business and there was a possibility 0:06:20.360 --> 0:06:22.440 we could lose the business, our house, he could go 0:06:22.480 --> 0:06:28.280 to jail. That's a pretty big bump. It's like I've 0:06:28.320 --> 0:06:32.080 invested everything. I've put my life and my kids' lives 0:06:32.520 --> 0:06:36.000 in this man's hands. So that was tough, but we 0:06:36.040 --> 0:06:36.760 worked through it. 0:06:37.560 --> 0:06:40.080 They agreed to a payment plan with the irs and 0:06:40.160 --> 0:06:42.880 move forward as a team, back on track for a 0:06:42.960 --> 0:06:46.760 happy retirement. As the kids got older, Stephanie and her 0:06:46.800 --> 0:06:48.919 husband adjusted well to the empty nest. 0:06:49.360 --> 0:06:54.640 When the kids were grown, things were almost even better. 0:06:56.640 --> 0:07:00.000 We would leave the office and walk hand in hand 0:07:00.240 --> 0:07:02.360 down the street to the local cafe and go to 0:07:02.440 --> 0:07:07.120 lunch together and sit and talk and laugh through the 0:07:07.160 --> 0:07:11.560 whole lunch, not and scroll on our phones like other couples, 0:07:12.000 --> 0:07:14.480 And then we would go back and work for the afternoon, 0:07:14.680 --> 0:07:17.960 and then we would go home together and make dinner, 0:07:18.520 --> 0:07:21.520 watch our favorite game shows, and play a board game. 0:07:22.120 --> 0:07:26.239 Even during the twenty twenty pandemic, Stephanie and her husband 0:07:26.440 --> 0:07:27.480 got along. 0:07:29.200 --> 0:07:32.840 So you know, during COVID, I'd hop on a zoom 0:07:32.880 --> 0:07:35.800 call with like six or seven girlfriends and we're pretty 0:07:35.840 --> 0:07:39.080 much all empty masters. So we're all just stuck in 0:07:39.080 --> 0:07:42.680 the house alone with our husbands. And my friends have 0:07:43.280 --> 0:07:47.480 good marriages, and still there was a lot of like, 0:07:48.040 --> 0:07:50.400 I don't know how much longer I can take this. 0:07:51.560 --> 0:07:56.679 I'm really bored, and I'm going, oh gosh, you guys, 0:07:56.680 --> 0:07:59.200 I feel bad because, you know what, we're having a 0:07:59.240 --> 0:08:02.280 blast over here. We're trying new recipes, We've got this 0:08:02.320 --> 0:08:05.480 whole game thing going on, We're doing all these puzzles. 0:08:05.520 --> 0:08:06.840 We're having so much fun. 0:08:08.120 --> 0:08:12.000 When COVID restrictions lifted, the couple took the opportunity to 0:08:12.040 --> 0:08:16.080 spend even more time together and enjoy a warmer climate. 0:08:17.400 --> 0:08:19.520 Kind of on a whim, we were like, hey, things 0:08:19.520 --> 0:08:21.880 are opening up. We didn't get to go on our 0:08:21.920 --> 0:08:25.840 winter vacation to our time sharing cancuon let's go down there. 0:08:26.600 --> 0:08:29.200 So we had gone down the first week of April 0:08:29.560 --> 0:08:31.960 and had a fabulous time as we always do. 0:08:32.640 --> 0:08:35.520 But on this little COVID getaway, she could tell that 0:08:35.640 --> 0:08:39.319 something was off with Greg. She first noticed it when 0:08:39.360 --> 0:08:41.120 they were lounging by the pool. 0:08:41.360 --> 0:08:43.920 One of the things that really struck me as weird 0:08:44.000 --> 0:08:46.840 on that trip was that we had kind of sat 0:08:46.920 --> 0:08:50.080 in this same spot a couple days and there was 0:08:50.200 --> 0:08:54.480 someone else sitting a couple chairs down from us, another 0:08:55.240 --> 0:08:59.640 husband and wife, and the guy made me really uncomfortable. 0:09:00.280 --> 0:09:02.640 You know how some guys just look at you weird, 0:09:02.840 --> 0:09:05.480 you know, when you're hanging out in your bathing suit whatever, 0:09:05.559 --> 0:09:08.840 And the guy just kind of made me uncomfortable. And 0:09:08.880 --> 0:09:12.040 I told Greg that, I said, you know, that guy 0:09:12.120 --> 0:09:14.439 is just kind of creeping me out. Can we sit 0:09:14.520 --> 0:09:20.120 somewhere else? And he said no. That was totally out 0:09:20.160 --> 0:09:25.840 of character for him. He was always so accommodating to 0:09:25.880 --> 0:09:31.280 me and never wanted me to feel uncomfortable. I mean, 0:09:31.360 --> 0:09:33.680 does it matter if we sit over on the other 0:09:33.800 --> 0:09:37.079 side of the gorgeous infinity pool looking out at the ocean. 0:09:38.280 --> 0:09:40.360 So yeah, it just struck me as a little weird. 0:09:42.080 --> 0:09:45.600 It was weird, but Stephanie didn't think much of it. 0:09:46.040 --> 0:09:49.160 That night, the couple indulged in a long, romantic dinner. 0:09:49.520 --> 0:09:52.840 This was always part of their vacation, a few dinners 0:09:52.880 --> 0:09:54.319 where they could really treat. 0:09:54.080 --> 0:10:00.360 Themselves, many many courses and lots of different drink and 0:10:00.400 --> 0:10:02.400 wine and follow that. 0:10:03.080 --> 0:10:06.240 The next morning, Stephanie was in a fog. I was 0:10:06.520 --> 0:10:09.440 very out of it, like it was really hard to 0:10:09.520 --> 0:10:14.640 wake up. I had this feeling it was almost. 0:10:14.200 --> 0:10:17.920 Like I was at the bottom of the lake and 0:10:17.960 --> 0:10:22.280 I could just see light way up ahead, but it 0:10:22.320 --> 0:10:25.640 was so hard to try to get there. And then 0:10:25.640 --> 0:10:29.200 I would just feel so awful, like very cotton mull, 0:10:29.800 --> 0:10:36.120 very dehydrated, headache, miserable, waking up. Shouldn't feel like that. 0:10:38.200 --> 0:10:40.800 But Greg was there to help take care of her. 0:10:41.200 --> 0:10:43.040 Last night. You had a lot to drink, and we 0:10:43.040 --> 0:10:45.800 were out in the sun a lot. I'm sure you're dehydrated. 0:10:46.280 --> 0:10:48.800 Let's get you some water, Let's get you some coffee. 0:10:48.920 --> 0:10:51.360 Let's try to stay out of the sun a little 0:10:51.400 --> 0:10:54.840 bit today, you know, very comforting, very. 0:10:54.760 --> 0:10:59.080 Kind, and Stephanie was determined to make the most out 0:10:59.080 --> 0:11:00.000 of the rest of for vacant. 0:11:01.600 --> 0:11:06.079 We got home and on the airplane, I had seen 0:11:06.160 --> 0:11:08.160 somebody was watching. You know, you can kind of see 0:11:08.200 --> 0:11:11.560 other people's screens. I could see somebody was watching something 0:11:11.559 --> 0:11:13.640 with Nicole Kidman, and I was like, oh, that looks 0:11:13.720 --> 0:11:15.400 kind of intriguing. I got to look that up and 0:11:15.400 --> 0:11:18.680 see what they're watching. So I figured it out that 0:11:18.720 --> 0:11:21.160 they were watching this show called The Undoing. 0:11:22.120 --> 0:11:25.240 The Undoing was a fictional TV mini series about a 0:11:25.280 --> 0:11:29.480 pediatric surgeon played by Hugh Grant. The character is warm 0:11:29.559 --> 0:11:33.000 and charming, but is ultimately suspected of a violent crime. 0:11:33.520 --> 0:11:36.520 It's at complete odds with the man. His wife knows. 0:11:37.080 --> 0:11:40.079 When Stephanie got home, she binge watched the show. 0:11:40.840 --> 0:11:45.960 In that first episode, he is just so engaged with 0:11:46.600 --> 0:11:53.880 his child, and he's so fawning over Nicole Kidman about 0:11:54.000 --> 0:11:58.120 you know, just how beautiful and wonderful and perfect she is. 0:11:59.080 --> 0:12:02.359 But he doesn't want want to go and like socialize 0:12:02.360 --> 0:12:04.760 with other people and go to the party. 0:12:05.800 --> 0:12:09.600 Eerily. This character reminded Stephanie of Greg. 0:12:10.559 --> 0:12:14.760 He just wants this little bubble of his little family 0:12:15.440 --> 0:12:20.040 and he loves being adored by his patience. Just this 0:12:20.320 --> 0:12:27.040 really engaging charismatic personality, but yet doesn't necessarily always want 0:12:27.040 --> 0:12:30.840 to be social unless he can be the center of attention. 0:12:31.640 --> 0:12:34.160 As it became more and more clear that the Hugh 0:12:34.200 --> 0:12:41.600 Grant character had this tremendous secret, it just made this 0:12:41.760 --> 0:12:48.720 feeling in my gut, say, you know who else has secrets? 0:12:49.640 --> 0:12:53.920 Your own husband? 0:13:05.120 --> 0:13:08.240 It's unsettling to see a depiction of a violent and 0:13:08.320 --> 0:13:12.760 manipulative character on TV and think, Hey, that reminds me 0:13:12.920 --> 0:13:18.079 of my husband. That's exactly what happened to Stephanie. There 0:13:18.120 --> 0:13:21.000 was a nagging feeling, a twist in her gut that 0:13:21.120 --> 0:13:26.920 felt distantly familiar. Stephanie had felt this before. After one 0:13:27.000 --> 0:13:32.360 big fight she'd had with Greg years ago in twenty sixteen, 0:13:32.720 --> 0:13:35.720 Stephanie had found out about a secret her husband was keeping. 0:13:36.559 --> 0:13:37.800 Here's what happened. 0:13:37.480 --> 0:13:42.360 Back then on this particular weekend in twenty sixteen. It 0:13:42.480 --> 0:13:46.840 was just a weekend trip with another couple. The guys 0:13:46.880 --> 0:13:49.360 had been golfing all day, as girls had been hiking 0:13:49.360 --> 0:13:52.360 and sightseeing, and we got back to the hotel and 0:13:53.400 --> 0:13:55.560 got ready and went out for dinner, the four of us. 0:13:55.600 --> 0:13:59.640 And after dinner, I wanted to take a picture of 0:13:59.679 --> 0:14:02.560 the four of us, and I was like, Oh, my 0:14:02.640 --> 0:14:04.680 phone is somewhere in the bottom of my purse. Just 0:14:04.679 --> 0:14:10.120 give me yours. So I grabbed his phone and I 0:14:10.240 --> 0:14:15.560 opened the camera. In the bottom corner, it showed the 0:14:15.640 --> 0:14:20.120 last photo he had taken, And the last photo he 0:14:20.240 --> 0:14:26.120 had taken was of me getting ready in our hotel room, 0:14:26.240 --> 0:14:30.920 nude from the waistep I had no idea it had 0:14:30.960 --> 0:14:36.120 been taken. So I see this photo of me on 0:14:36.160 --> 0:14:39.560 his phone, and I don't want to say anything in 0:14:39.600 --> 0:14:43.680 front of our friends, So we take the picture. I say, 0:14:43.720 --> 0:14:45.520 I'm not feeling well. We go back to the room. 0:14:45.960 --> 0:14:48.120 I hold onto his phone the whole time until we 0:14:48.160 --> 0:14:52.320 get up there, and I'm like, what is this? What 0:14:52.400 --> 0:14:52.760 the hell? 0:14:53.480 --> 0:14:57.400 Stephanie enjoyed the physical intimacy of her marriage. She thought 0:14:57.400 --> 0:15:01.200 it was in a healthy place. There were boundaries. 0:15:02.320 --> 0:15:04.720 I did not ever consent to that. I did not 0:15:04.920 --> 0:15:09.000 ever say I would do that. And he also knew 0:15:09.040 --> 0:15:12.240 that there had been a few times throughout the years 0:15:12.280 --> 0:15:15.920 when he had asked about taking pictures and I very 0:15:15.960 --> 0:15:20.240 adamantly said no and talked with him about things like 0:15:21.120 --> 0:15:23.800 what if the kids open to your phone. I just 0:15:23.840 --> 0:15:26.640 don't want to take the chance that anything would ever 0:15:26.680 --> 0:15:30.640 get out there. And here's the thing, I told him, 0:15:31.440 --> 0:15:35.000 I'm live and in person. You see me, you see 0:15:35.040 --> 0:15:39.200 my body every day. And I wanted to have sex 0:15:39.240 --> 0:15:42.280 with my husband. I felt like that was an important 0:15:42.360 --> 0:15:46.320 part of our love and our marriage. Shouldn't that be enough. 0:15:47.960 --> 0:15:51.680 Instead of respecting her boundary around pornography and nude photos, 0:15:52.240 --> 0:15:55.800 Greg had used it against her, twisted it to explain 0:15:55.840 --> 0:16:00.000 away his own indiscretions. 0:16:00.000 --> 0:16:08.120 He knew that I was adamantly opposed to pornography, and 0:16:08.160 --> 0:16:13.360 the reasoning he gave for taking pictures of me was 0:16:14.640 --> 0:16:19.640 he felt that he shouldn't look at pornography and instead 0:16:20.880 --> 0:16:27.000 he would create his own just for himself. He ended 0:16:27.080 --> 0:16:30.800 up telling me, I've only ever done it a couple times. 0:16:31.760 --> 0:16:37.080 There's only a few pictures. I wanted it to make 0:16:37.160 --> 0:16:47.800 sense because I couldn't breathe without him. 0:16:47.920 --> 0:16:51.120 When they got home from that vacation back in twenty sixteen, 0:16:51.800 --> 0:16:54.000 Stephanie moved into the guest bedroom. 0:16:54.800 --> 0:16:58.760 She was mad. It stayed that way for a few weeks. 0:16:59.240 --> 0:17:02.200 They still worked together and kept the same routine, but 0:17:02.280 --> 0:17:04.240 they slept in separate bedrooms. 0:17:04.840 --> 0:17:07.960 Greg worked hard to earn her forgiveness. 0:17:08.640 --> 0:17:12.360 One evening in early September, you know, after this had 0:17:12.359 --> 0:17:14.199 been going on for a few weeks, that I was 0:17:14.280 --> 0:17:17.760 in the other bedroom. I was sitting in the family 0:17:17.840 --> 0:17:21.720 room watching TV, and he came over and he knelt 0:17:21.920 --> 0:17:28.560 in front of me and he sobbed. I mean just 0:17:29.480 --> 0:17:34.720 the tears and the snot and the whole thing, just 0:17:35.640 --> 0:17:40.240 poured his heart out at how terrible. He felt that 0:17:40.359 --> 0:17:44.520 he had ever done anything like that, and that he 0:17:44.560 --> 0:17:49.560 would never do anything to jeopardize our relationship because I'm 0:17:49.600 --> 0:17:51.960 the most important thing in the world. Our marriage is 0:17:52.000 --> 0:17:54.600 the most important thing in the world. He can't live 0:17:54.640 --> 0:18:03.200 without me, and there's nothing he wouldn't do for my forgiveness, 0:18:03.960 --> 0:18:04.360 and so. 0:18:06.320 --> 0:18:09.360 I forgave him under a few conditions. 0:18:11.200 --> 0:18:15.479 The one thing that I made him agree to was 0:18:15.560 --> 0:18:20.879 that I had access to all of his devices anytime 0:18:20.920 --> 0:18:25.200 I wanted, all his passwords, everything, and I could check 0:18:25.240 --> 0:18:30.480 them whenever I wanted, without question. He absolutely agreed to that, 0:18:31.560 --> 0:18:32.879 and she lived like that. 0:18:33.280 --> 0:18:38.600 For six years, checking his phone and devices three times 0:18:38.640 --> 0:18:39.080 a week. 0:18:39.800 --> 0:18:45.399 So the trust was in a really tenuous place after 0:18:45.480 --> 0:18:54.160 twenty sixteen. But now balance that with everything else is perfect. 0:18:55.160 --> 0:18:58.040 She believed her husband when he said it began and 0:18:58.320 --> 0:19:00.960 ended with that photo he took of her on vacation, 0:19:01.920 --> 0:19:05.840 Like she says, everything else about their life was fantastic. 0:19:06.520 --> 0:19:12.240 So slowly they worked through it. During hardships, trust, love 0:19:12.359 --> 0:19:15.480 and bonds are often forged even stronger. 0:19:16.200 --> 0:19:22.880 It just was this very grounding feeling that as long as. 0:19:22.760 --> 0:19:27.480 I had that relationship, as long as we were together, 0:19:29.160 --> 0:19:33.280 there really wasn't anything that I couldn't handle, that I 0:19:33.359 --> 0:19:34.920 couldn't get through. 0:19:35.800 --> 0:19:36.760 And as much. 0:19:36.520 --> 0:19:39.080 As I talk about how. 0:19:38.960 --> 0:19:44.879 Great and how content and how wonderful everything felt, I 0:19:44.960 --> 0:19:51.320 always had an eye and an ear out for anything 0:19:51.480 --> 0:19:53.160 to be off. 0:19:54.560 --> 0:19:57.760 The couple resumed their normal routine. 0:19:57.880 --> 0:19:58.360 Every night. 0:19:58.400 --> 0:20:01.040 Stephanie went to bed early to read, while her husband 0:20:01.040 --> 0:20:04.320 would stay up late fiddling around with his guilty pleasure 0:20:05.200 --> 0:20:10.760 fantasy sports, and I mean a lot of fantasy sports. 0:20:12.160 --> 0:20:15.880 He would participate in ten or twelve fantasy. 0:20:15.560 --> 0:20:16.960 Football leagues every year. 0:20:18.600 --> 0:20:26.479 He would do fantasy baseball and golf, and so he 0:20:26.520 --> 0:20:30.680 would spend a tremendous amount of time. Sometimes I'd wake 0:20:30.760 --> 0:20:34.199 up at one two in the morning and be like, 0:20:34.240 --> 0:20:37.280 are you coming to bed? Because he was still on 0:20:37.359 --> 0:20:44.840 his computer doing fantasy football. But he wasn't. That's not 0:20:44.920 --> 0:20:46.720 what he was doing. 0:20:47.800 --> 0:21:04.760 After the break, Stephanie makes a life shattering discovery. There 0:21:04.840 --> 0:21:07.600 is a photo of Stephanie on vacation with her husband. 0:21:08.320 --> 0:21:11.640 She is staring into his eyes. The two look madly 0:21:11.680 --> 0:21:16.320 in love, infatuated, almost smiling so big it's like they 0:21:16.480 --> 0:21:20.639 just started dating, not twenty two years into their marriage. 0:21:20.840 --> 0:21:24.760 Looking at that picture, I think, good for them. They 0:21:24.880 --> 0:21:28.359 persevered through a tough financial crisis with their business but 0:21:28.440 --> 0:21:31.879 made it out the other side. They were coasting into retirement, 0:21:32.840 --> 0:21:36.320 and they even worked through a major trust issue, the 0:21:36.359 --> 0:21:39.399 fallout after Stephanie found a naked photo of her on 0:21:39.440 --> 0:21:46.040 her husband's phone. But intuition is an interesting thing, that 0:21:46.240 --> 0:21:50.760 twist of the gut. Six years had come and gone, 0:21:51.359 --> 0:21:55.119 she had forgiven her husband, They had a happy life, 0:21:55.320 --> 0:22:00.680 yet something still churned inside Stephanie. On an and seasonably 0:22:00.760 --> 0:22:03.800 warm day in April twenty twenty one, she was home 0:22:03.840 --> 0:22:07.640 alone while Greg was out golfing with his friends. 0:22:08.160 --> 0:22:10.879 I had that feeling. I was like, I got to 0:22:10.960 --> 0:22:14.159 check all his stuff while he's gone. I saw his 0:22:14.240 --> 0:22:18.280 laptop was sitting there by his recliner. I picked it 0:22:18.359 --> 0:22:20.600 up and I took it over to the kitchen counter 0:22:22.840 --> 0:22:25.240 and that was where I was sitting, and I literally 0:22:25.320 --> 0:22:29.920 just lifted it up and it was there. The pages 0:22:29.960 --> 0:22:41.800 were open. He had a Flicker account filled with nude 0:22:41.800 --> 0:22:49.879 photos of me, Hundreds of pictures, lots and lots of 0:22:49.920 --> 0:22:54.440 them that were like the one I saw him take 0:22:56.000 --> 0:23:04.840 me getting ready shower, bathtub, that kind of stuff. Lots 0:23:04.880 --> 0:23:10.080 of photos taken when we were at our time, sharing 0:23:10.200 --> 0:23:18.040 Cancun from angles that I would never have agreed to. 0:23:18.040 --> 0:23:21.080 To make it even more disturbing, there were captions under 0:23:21.080 --> 0:23:28.040 the photos of Stephanie, disgusting captions. It's uncomfortable for me 0:23:28.080 --> 0:23:31.480 to even read this, but it shows just how degraded 0:23:31.560 --> 0:23:36.760 Stephanie felt. One caption read made your wife eat my comb. 0:23:37.800 --> 0:23:41.840 These photos were live posted on the Internet for anyone 0:23:41.880 --> 0:23:46.359 to access. In the moment, Stephanie was panicked. 0:23:46.240 --> 0:23:49.600 I'm in the account and I'm deleting, deleting, deleting, deleting, 0:23:50.440 --> 0:23:53.960 and then something in me went, I gotta have evidence 0:23:54.119 --> 0:23:58.760 of this at that point, not even thinking it was illegal, like, 0:23:59.520 --> 0:24:01.720 I can't even believe this, No one is ever going 0:24:01.800 --> 0:24:08.080 to believe me. So I took some screenshots and then deleted, 0:24:08.880 --> 0:24:12.879 so that I deleted all the naked pictures out of 0:24:12.920 --> 0:24:13.520 his account. 0:24:14.359 --> 0:24:19.280 She was in reaction mode, horrified and angry. She confronted 0:24:19.359 --> 0:24:22.080 him right away. 0:24:22.200 --> 0:24:27.000 I texted him a screenshot of that picture of me 0:24:27.080 --> 0:24:29.080 in the bikini, and. 0:24:29.119 --> 0:24:33.160 With that picture she typed out a message. In that message, 0:24:33.240 --> 0:24:36.919 she called Greg by his online alias you see on 0:24:36.960 --> 0:24:37.840 all of his accounts. 0:24:37.880 --> 0:24:39.440 He didn't use his real name. 0:24:39.920 --> 0:24:42.879 Instead, he used the name of one of his patients, 0:24:43.560 --> 0:24:46.600 a patient who was a mentally disabled adult. 0:24:48.960 --> 0:24:52.919 So on the morning of the eleventh I sent this text, 0:24:53.359 --> 0:24:55.719 we need to talk. You better come home so he 0:24:55.800 --> 0:25:03.240 knows he's busted. He comes flying home and it's all 0:25:03.280 --> 0:25:06.840 there on the computer. There's no backing his way out 0:25:06.840 --> 0:25:10.399 of it. This time. His reaction is one hundred percent 0:25:10.440 --> 0:25:15.320 of it than it was the time before. He readily 0:25:15.320 --> 0:25:21.800 confessed to all of it. No tears, no remorse, no regret, 0:25:23.000 --> 0:25:28.360 no care whatsoever. He talked to me like he was 0:25:28.400 --> 0:25:31.439 telling me I went to the store and got a 0:25:31.440 --> 0:25:32.120 gallon of milk. 0:25:34.200 --> 0:25:37.360 In addition to the photos of herself, there were photos 0:25:37.400 --> 0:25:42.320 of other women. What was this and why did he 0:25:42.480 --> 0:25:44.440 have these photos? 0:25:45.440 --> 0:25:48.639 He said, I have those pictures of those other women 0:25:48.760 --> 0:25:56.440 because I trade. Like kids trade Pokemon cards, I would 0:25:56.520 --> 0:25:58.160 trade your image. 0:25:58.680 --> 0:26:02.920 Stephanie is usually a very calm person. She can count 0:26:02.960 --> 0:26:05.960 on one hand the times she's ever raised her voice 0:26:06.000 --> 0:26:10.240 at her family, But on this day she lost it. 0:26:11.359 --> 0:26:18.720 I was screaming, taking pictures off the wall and just 0:26:18.800 --> 0:26:23.800 smashing them. I took the kitty litter box and dumped 0:26:23.800 --> 0:26:26.479 it in his bed. I mean, I broke a lot 0:26:26.560 --> 0:26:32.480 of stuff completely out of character. I was screaming and 0:26:32.520 --> 0:26:35.639 breaking things to the point where it set off the 0:26:35.640 --> 0:26:40.080 house alarm because we had glass break sensors, and because 0:26:40.119 --> 0:26:43.440 there were so many things being smashed and so much screaming, 0:26:43.960 --> 0:26:45.120 the sensors went off. 0:26:46.119 --> 0:26:48.560 On the day she found out, she was so mad 0:26:48.680 --> 0:26:51.040 she couldn't even process the bigger question. 0:26:51.720 --> 0:26:54.399 I mean, it really took me about twenty four hours 0:26:54.440 --> 0:26:56.879 to get to the point of looking at that and going, 0:26:58.800 --> 0:27:03.119 I don't understand how he could take those pictures without 0:27:03.119 --> 0:27:04.200 me knowing. 0:27:05.119 --> 0:27:08.760 She squinted at the photos, trying to remember when and 0:27:08.840 --> 0:27:09.840 where they were taken. 0:27:11.400 --> 0:27:16.080 There was a series of photos of me on the 0:27:16.119 --> 0:27:21.880 bed at our time share, and I'm fully naked, spreading 0:27:22.000 --> 0:27:27.640 along the bed, and there's close ups. There's no way 0:27:27.680 --> 0:27:29.879 you can get that angle on a person without them 0:27:30.000 --> 0:27:31.639 knowing you're there. 0:27:33.680 --> 0:27:36.480 There was only one way it could have happened. 0:27:38.560 --> 0:27:44.760 I know what happened. He drugged me. Yeah, he drugged me. 0:27:47.640 --> 0:27:51.480