1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:14,600 Speaker 1: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Tears Nikki, Yeah, what's up everyone? 2 00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:19,480 Speaker 1: How you doing out there? Noah, how you doing? Hi, Nikki, 3 00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:22,959 Speaker 1: I'm good. How are you doing. I'm good. I'm in 4 00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:27,360 Speaker 1: a really good mood to day. I don't know why, 5 00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:29,520 Speaker 1: no reason. Maybe I got a lot of sleep yesterday. 6 00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:32,000 Speaker 1: We'll find out. When I asked Andrew Crawlin how he 7 00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:35,319 Speaker 1: slept and then he never returns the question and I 8 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:39,680 Speaker 1: just kind of answer it myself. So yeah, I'm in 9 00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:42,400 Speaker 1: a good mood. Right out of the gate between you 10 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:47,199 Speaker 1: and me. I'm getting a lot of messages about you 11 00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:50,080 Speaker 1: never said the perfume, Nikki. You never said the name 12 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:55,120 Speaker 1: of the perfume, Nikki, you never told us what it is, 13 00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:59,800 Speaker 1: Paris Hilton perfume from two episodes ago. That I thought 14 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:02,720 Speaker 1: I I told you guys later on in the episode. Yeah, 15 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:05,280 Speaker 1: I thought so too. People said I've been scouring it 16 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:09,360 Speaker 1: and I can't find it, and drum roll please, so 17 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:13,280 Speaker 1: many of you don't care. It's called electrify. Now let 18 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:15,240 Speaker 1: me throw something else in there. If for those of 19 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:16,840 Speaker 1: you who are just listening to this for the first time, 20 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:22,640 Speaker 1: I'm really I'm not good about perfumes. I have always 21 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:27,319 Speaker 1: had what I would I guess describe as I'm insecure 22 00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:31,640 Speaker 1: about my own perceptions of things, always have been. I 23 00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:34,280 Speaker 1: don't trust that when I like something that's good enough 24 00:01:34,319 --> 00:01:38,760 Speaker 1: to for it to be good, like an outfit or 25 00:01:41,319 --> 00:01:45,440 Speaker 1: a perfume, especially at perfume. When I like a sense, 26 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:48,640 Speaker 1: it doesn't matter, it matters if other people like it, 27 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:51,320 Speaker 1: because I think there's something to that because whatever you wear, 28 00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:53,920 Speaker 1: you're gonna get used to. Anyway. You could spray like 29 00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:56,960 Speaker 1: you know, cab driver BO on you and then you 30 00:01:56,960 --> 00:02:02,000 Speaker 1: would eventually not smell it because there is a biological 31 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:05,560 Speaker 1: reason for that. Let me explain it really quick. The 32 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:08,080 Speaker 1: reason that people with BO don't smell their own bio 33 00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:11,760 Speaker 1: or you get used to a smell is because being 34 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:14,000 Speaker 1: able to smell things is a way to tell if 35 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:17,920 Speaker 1: there's danger. And so if food is spoiled or there's 36 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:21,960 Speaker 1: like some kind of I don't know, some kind of 37 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:24,760 Speaker 1: feeme wafting into your TP when we were all in 38 00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:29,840 Speaker 1: tps at some point, so you get nose blind, shout 39 00:02:29,919 --> 00:02:33,400 Speaker 1: up for breeze to smell so that your senses can 40 00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:38,800 Speaker 1: then readjust and let in another scent that might kill you. 41 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:42,240 Speaker 1: So that's why we get nose blind. It's actually the reason. 42 00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:44,960 Speaker 1: This is the one day I paid attention in a 43 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:48,760 Speaker 1: psychology class when I went to see you Boulder. There's 44 00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:54,520 Speaker 1: so fascinating though. It's also the reason that our eyes. 45 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:57,880 Speaker 1: If you ever look at your eyes, they're constantly twitching, right, 46 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:00,840 Speaker 1: they're never just steady. If your eye we're just steady, 47 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:04,800 Speaker 1: then you would go blind like the It wouldn't go 48 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:07,120 Speaker 1: you wouldn't go blind, but it would create a complete 49 00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:12,359 Speaker 1: like black like you know, if you've ever fainted, you 50 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:15,880 Speaker 1: would get that kind of vision. Because it was because 51 00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:18,800 Speaker 1: the it's a static image. You already know what it is. 52 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:21,160 Speaker 1: It's not causing you any harm. It's fine, get it 53 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:23,720 Speaker 1: out of the way, allow new images to come in. 54 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:27,840 Speaker 1: But because we don't want to constantly have that happen, 55 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:33,120 Speaker 1: our eyes twitched constantly to Readjust isn't that interesting? So anyway, 56 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:36,240 Speaker 1: I don't trust my nose. I trusted this scent because 57 00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:38,200 Speaker 1: Pearis Silton. I was with her and she sprayed it 58 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:39,720 Speaker 1: all over herself, and I go, you know what, if 59 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,320 Speaker 1: it's good enough for Pears, it's damn good enough for me. 60 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:47,880 Speaker 1: And then the other night I had two guys here 61 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:50,400 Speaker 1: at the that that night I did that podcast. I 62 00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:53,080 Speaker 1: think it's two nights three nights ago at two guys 63 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:56,200 Speaker 1: here and I go, can I just test this scent 64 00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:59,520 Speaker 1: on you? And I sprayed it and I gave it 65 00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:02,040 Speaker 1: to one and he said it's it's nice. Like he 66 00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:05,000 Speaker 1: wasn't thrilled, and I was a little bit like, Okay, 67 00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:07,360 Speaker 1: did you spray it on them or on you? No? 68 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:09,720 Speaker 1: On my wrist? Okay, so you gave them your wrist, 69 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:12,200 Speaker 1: got it? Yeah, I sprayed it on my wrist. I'm 70 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:14,480 Speaker 1: gonna put my wrist in their face. And he was like, 71 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:17,400 Speaker 1: it's nice, but it was like a you know, being 72 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:19,480 Speaker 1: nice to me kind of nice. He was like, it's sweet. 73 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:22,080 Speaker 1: It's not like a there's like a sweetness to it, 74 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:25,960 Speaker 1: which I love. Andrew was like that's fine. And then 75 00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:28,440 Speaker 1: my friend Robin was like, oh, I hate it. That's 76 00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:30,200 Speaker 1: why I was so offended when you sprayed it on 77 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:33,120 Speaker 1: me one time. And I was like what I was? 78 00:04:33,279 --> 00:04:35,720 Speaker 1: And I was she has really good taste. So I 79 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:39,359 Speaker 1: was so every I don't know what to think anymore 80 00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:43,240 Speaker 1: about the scent, even though Paris Hilton wears it and 81 00:04:43,279 --> 00:04:46,600 Speaker 1: I think it's great because I had a friend, say, 82 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:49,080 Speaker 1: a friend whose taste I really respect more than my 83 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:52,080 Speaker 1: own probably say that it was bad. I was like, 84 00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:56,120 Speaker 1: I hate it now, and that's that's just says more 85 00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:58,719 Speaker 1: about me than the scent. And then she sprayed channel 86 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:02,200 Speaker 1: and it was so good that even if it was poop, 87 00:05:02,279 --> 00:05:04,080 Speaker 1: I would have been like, that's good because it's Chanelle, 88 00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:07,320 Speaker 1: because I'm so like, just program wwarped. What do you? 89 00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:11,839 Speaker 1: What do you wear? Did you I wear Chloe? And 90 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:14,680 Speaker 1: I do like ye safe. There is a Chanel one 91 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:17,320 Speaker 1: that I like. It's not the standard one, but just 92 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:21,359 Speaker 1: something very light. I think. Also, perfumes smell different on 93 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:25,000 Speaker 1: different people based on their pheromones, yeah, and their pH 94 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:31,280 Speaker 1: balance and yeah, all that biological stuff. Yeah, I why 95 00:05:31,279 --> 00:05:35,159 Speaker 1: don't they have sense that are like new Nikes or 96 00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:40,760 Speaker 1: a fresh textbook that like, you know, a glossy textbook 97 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:45,039 Speaker 1: the inside corner like the inside. I love pushing my 98 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:47,640 Speaker 1: nose into a crevice of a new fresh book that 99 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:51,520 Speaker 1: goes like that, like clicks when you open it. Is 100 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:55,520 Speaker 1: that the weirdest smell you like? Mmm? I think the 101 00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:59,160 Speaker 1: weirdest smell I like is like a boy I likes 102 00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:03,280 Speaker 1: like armpit or like his you know, the taint part 103 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:06,200 Speaker 1: of his underwear. I like, I used to like inhale. 104 00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:11,520 Speaker 1: My boyfriend's like, like so gross. Trying to think of 105 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:14,240 Speaker 1: like the weirdest smell. I don't mind a sharpie, although 106 00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:16,880 Speaker 1: I write with them a lot and sometimes I start 107 00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:18,800 Speaker 1: getting a headache because I'm like getting high from it. 108 00:06:20,279 --> 00:06:23,920 Speaker 1: Do you like gasoline? Yes? I remember you saying that 109 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:25,800 Speaker 1: it's not my face. It's not something I hate, but 110 00:06:25,839 --> 00:06:28,720 Speaker 1: it's not my favorite. But a lot of people love gasoline. 111 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:33,400 Speaker 1: Trying to think of other smells I enjoy. I love. 112 00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:37,240 Speaker 1: I don't mind a subway. It's not like I love it, 113 00:06:37,279 --> 00:06:41,000 Speaker 1: but like I know that has like a very distinct smell. 114 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:45,880 Speaker 1: The store or the transportation vehicle. Oh god, the store Okay, 115 00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:52,119 Speaker 1: but I guess they're both disgusting about it. That wasn't 116 00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:54,120 Speaker 1: one that I like. I'm like, actually, like I was 117 00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:56,480 Speaker 1: just thinking people smells. People are like I hate that, 118 00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:59,800 Speaker 1: and I'm like, I don't mind it. Yeah, I just 119 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:03,200 Speaker 1: I You know, what I love is the Guardinia smell 120 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:08,839 Speaker 1: of uh, what's that cleaning product? And Assus Meyer missus Myers. 121 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:12,200 Speaker 1: The orange kind is Like, if I'm just going off 122 00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:16,120 Speaker 1: of what I love that that I think that's geranium. 123 00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:19,400 Speaker 1: What did I say guardinia gardinia? Yeah it is geranium. 124 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:25,480 Speaker 1: Oh shoot, did you okay? Yeah, geranium. I like that smell, 125 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:30,720 Speaker 1: but I want a signature smell. I've always been paranoid 126 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:35,120 Speaker 1: that I smell in some way, you know, like whenever 127 00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:37,640 Speaker 1: a boy or something someone tells me I smell good. 128 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:39,800 Speaker 1: If when people get close and they're like, you smell good, 129 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:44,560 Speaker 1: I like, I get almost nervous because I think they're 130 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:47,400 Speaker 1: lying to me, because I think that's what they think 131 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:49,400 Speaker 1: they have to say to someone who's because you know 132 00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:53,000 Speaker 1: how sometimes you like seen in mean Girls where a 133 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:54,600 Speaker 1: girl has a bracelet on. She's like, I love your 134 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:56,040 Speaker 1: bracelet and she actual wit and she goes, that's the 135 00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:59,640 Speaker 1: fucking ugliest bracelet I've ever seen, because I've done I 136 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:01,400 Speaker 1: used to that when I was a liar. Like if 137 00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:04,000 Speaker 1: someone had like something ugly and I was caught staring 138 00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:05,800 Speaker 1: at it because I'm like, that's so ugly, I'd be like, oh, 139 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:07,960 Speaker 1: I love your pants, like I because I thought they 140 00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:10,200 Speaker 1: caught me in my life, so I'd say the opposite. 141 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:13,320 Speaker 1: I would never do that now, literally never. But I 142 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,960 Speaker 1: think sometimes people compliment my smell because they're like, you 143 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,000 Speaker 1: smell bad, and she probably knows that she smells mad, 144 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:19,720 Speaker 1: So I'm gonna tell her she smells I don't. I don't. 145 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:22,360 Speaker 1: I'm going to stop you right there, because I've been 146 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:26,880 Speaker 1: around you on a daily basis. I've also worn your clothes, 147 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:29,480 Speaker 1: clothes which you've given to me, impact in your suitcase, 148 00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:31,240 Speaker 1: and I know that some of them were not washed, 149 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:33,640 Speaker 1: and I've put them on and tried them on. You 150 00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:37,920 Speaker 1: do not have a smell. Oh thanks Noah. That means 151 00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:40,880 Speaker 1: so much to me. The other day on set, I 152 00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:42,800 Speaker 1: was trying to think of an insult for me, like 153 00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:44,960 Speaker 1: a nickname. It was a joke where it was like 154 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:47,760 Speaker 1: and I don't appreciate when people call me blah blah blah. 155 00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:49,440 Speaker 1: And I was trying to think of like funny things 156 00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:52,400 Speaker 1: about me in a relationship, like too much teeth glazer 157 00:08:52,559 --> 00:08:56,800 Speaker 1: or flat ass bitch or you don't like, just things 158 00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:58,800 Speaker 1: about me that would be funny but not too mean. 159 00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:04,520 Speaker 1: And the ad on the show who was standing behind 160 00:09:04,559 --> 00:09:07,719 Speaker 1: me and was just trying to contribute but like not 161 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:12,240 Speaker 1: give things that were like we were just like it 162 00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:16,400 Speaker 1: wasn't like real things. He goes bad breath, and I 163 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:20,920 Speaker 1: was so mad. I just turned around, like are use 164 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:23,160 Speaker 1: and he's close to me a lot, so I was like, 165 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:27,520 Speaker 1: is that he contributing based on facts? Because I and 166 00:09:27,559 --> 00:09:30,800 Speaker 1: I go, you just you just stumbled onto some, don't 167 00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:33,240 Speaker 1: I go? Is that? I don't even know what I said, 168 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,800 Speaker 1: but I said listen. I had next boyfriend write a 169 00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:38,000 Speaker 1: rap song about how I had bad breath once because 170 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:40,160 Speaker 1: I broke his heart, and he performed it on a 171 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:42,120 Speaker 1: show in front of me after I thought we were 172 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:47,959 Speaker 1: just friends and I've and and now I'm self conscious 173 00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:50,440 Speaker 1: about having bad breath, which he even assured me I 174 00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:52,720 Speaker 1: do not. The rap guy he said it was one 175 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:55,280 Speaker 1: time after we you ate a salad that had onions 176 00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:56,760 Speaker 1: on it and we were making out and we were 177 00:09:56,760 --> 00:10:00,240 Speaker 1: like drunk, and I was like, good point, but still 178 00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:04,200 Speaker 1: I was very I'm always self conscious about that, and 179 00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:09,640 Speaker 1: sometimes I do have bad breath. Everyone does. Who cares? Andrew? 180 00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:12,720 Speaker 1: What do I have? Like constant? No, Andrew does not 181 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:16,200 Speaker 1: have bad breath, Thank god. If he did, I would 182 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:17,800 Speaker 1: tell him in a second. I would have no problem 183 00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:20,080 Speaker 1: with it. But everyone on set goes, Nikki, you don't 184 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,360 Speaker 1: have My makeup artist was like, you don't have bad breath. 185 00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:24,040 Speaker 1: If you did, I would tell you, and I go no, 186 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:26,880 Speaker 1: you wouldn't. That's so rude. If I had halijos, if 187 00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:29,840 Speaker 1: I had an uncurable bad breath, you wouldn't tell me. 188 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:31,640 Speaker 1: That's like the only disease that you can have in 189 00:10:31,679 --> 00:10:35,040 Speaker 1: a doctor wouldn't even tell you because it's rude. So 190 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:39,640 Speaker 1: I rest my case, all right, bringing in Andrew, Uh, 191 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:43,000 Speaker 1: stay there and he'll be He'll be right here. I'm 192 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:45,040 Speaker 1: sure he's waiting on the stairs like an eager child 193 00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:55,880 Speaker 1: waiting for Christmas morning. Andrew. All right, andrewll welcome to 194 00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:59,560 Speaker 1: our show. Good morning. I just leap. I've slept good. 195 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,040 Speaker 1: I slept good. I mean I slept a lot the 196 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:05,120 Speaker 1: last day and a half, and I feel like a 197 00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:07,560 Speaker 1: new man. I can't believe how much you slept yesterday. 198 00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:12,720 Speaker 1: It was the best I needed it, you know, I was. Yeah, 199 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:16,160 Speaker 1: it's amazing what it can do. I feel completely refreshed. 200 00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:18,880 Speaker 1: I feel like we had a nice talk yesterday. I 201 00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:23,040 Speaker 1: feel like I'm very appreciative of you. Don't well you 202 00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:25,839 Speaker 1: none of you know. But we had a huge fight 203 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:30,520 Speaker 1: on the show, but it didn't record, Like, by the 204 00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:34,840 Speaker 1: grace of God or Noah just lying to us and saying, hey, 205 00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:37,960 Speaker 1: I didn't record. Can you guys redo it because that's 206 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:41,319 Speaker 1: gonna make us lose listeners. So we had like a 207 00:11:41,679 --> 00:11:45,440 Speaker 1: blowout fight that was all, you know, started because we 208 00:11:45,559 --> 00:11:50,319 Speaker 1: both had to list each other's insecurities. Then we had 209 00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:53,360 Speaker 1: to Then we had a huge fight and then and 210 00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:55,080 Speaker 1: then I go to bed and then we kind of 211 00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:57,240 Speaker 1: made it. We did make up in it for sure. 212 00:11:57,600 --> 00:11:59,439 Speaker 1: And then I was like, I'm going to bed in 213 00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:01,600 Speaker 1: the nose like it didn't record, can you come back? 214 00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:04,880 Speaker 1: So we did. The final thought yesterday was like a 215 00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:09,640 Speaker 1: d It was after the fact, but thank god because 216 00:12:09,679 --> 00:12:11,520 Speaker 1: we got that whole thing out of the way and 217 00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:14,680 Speaker 1: we'll we'll do for another one about a month. Yeah. Yeah, 218 00:12:14,679 --> 00:12:17,560 Speaker 1: I look, the more I think about it, we spend 219 00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:20,960 Speaker 1: more time with each other than than a married couple. Yeah. 220 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:24,600 Speaker 1: So the fact that we wouldn't have blow ups we're 221 00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:27,880 Speaker 1: not human, that we would just be complete sociopaths. Yeah, yes, 222 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:32,040 Speaker 1: that's true. I think. Yes, I'm glad you feel better 223 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:35,760 Speaker 1: after the thing yesterday. I didn't really I was. I was. 224 00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:39,000 Speaker 1: I had to work through some resentments yesterday on my 225 00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:43,440 Speaker 1: own time towards me. Yeah. H when you're driving, did 226 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:46,960 Speaker 1: the grocery store what it did? Were you listening What 227 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,880 Speaker 1: were you listening to? Well, I was listening to Taylor Swift, 228 00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:54,160 Speaker 1: but I was I wasn't and the music wouldn't take 229 00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:56,280 Speaker 1: me out of it. I wasn't trying to like get 230 00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:58,720 Speaker 1: it out through Taylor Swift, which is what it usually do. 231 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:01,839 Speaker 1: I was like, STU can traffic. I was just resentful 232 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:05,840 Speaker 1: yesterday of not even you, of having to go get 233 00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:08,079 Speaker 1: my own groceries, which is forty five minutes away, and 234 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,120 Speaker 1: I was stuck in traffic on my day off when 235 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:12,200 Speaker 1: I would have liked to be like on a walk 236 00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:16,000 Speaker 1: or running or going to a meeting which would be 237 00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:20,400 Speaker 1: helpful for my life or whatever. I was just like, 238 00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:25,120 Speaker 1: why can't I just need a need someone in my 239 00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:28,239 Speaker 1: life to do these things for me? Because I am 240 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:32,800 Speaker 1: working full time, I'm working four jobs in terms of 241 00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:35,520 Speaker 1: having to write stand up, I'm doing Conan next week. 242 00:13:35,559 --> 00:13:37,840 Speaker 1: I have no idea what I'm doing. I am working 243 00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:41,200 Speaker 1: this job, I do this podcast, which you know doesn't 244 00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:43,680 Speaker 1: take that much, and I'm just like, it's not even you. 245 00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:47,360 Speaker 1: It's just like I need an assistant. I guess yeah, 246 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:50,240 Speaker 1: I mean yeah, I mean we're sleeping all day. And 247 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:55,200 Speaker 1: so it did kind of but I made No, it isn't. 248 00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:58,960 Speaker 1: I need food, but you you have a thing where 249 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:00,760 Speaker 1: you can ask them to get it. Takes them four 250 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,480 Speaker 1: days to get that food back to me, and I 251 00:14:02,679 --> 00:14:04,839 Speaker 1: feel for today, But I don't think the anger should 252 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:07,880 Speaker 1: be at me for resting. No, but you're the one that, 253 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:15,160 Speaker 1: like could volunteer to go for me on your time off. Okay, 254 00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:17,920 Speaker 1: And then so that's why I went a resentment, So 255 00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:21,400 Speaker 1: let's talk about it. What talk about that? Yeah, that 256 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:23,960 Speaker 1: I should be your gopher on my day off. That 257 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:27,080 Speaker 1: you need food too, and so maybe it would be 258 00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:29,600 Speaker 1: like a nice gesture as a friend to be like, hey, 259 00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:32,200 Speaker 1: you need this thing. I'm I could go do it. 260 00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:35,920 Speaker 1: I didn't need food and I told you that, Okay, Okay, 261 00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:38,440 Speaker 1: I don't want to. Why don't you guys just make 262 00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:41,760 Speaker 1: a schedule and just like once a week he doesn't 263 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:43,920 Speaker 1: because he'll he'll get mad at me that I'm making 264 00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:45,520 Speaker 1: him go to the store. I just I just want 265 00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:48,480 Speaker 1: someone in my life who's like, wow, Nikki's got a 266 00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:50,560 Speaker 1: lot going on. That would be such a nice I 267 00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:53,760 Speaker 1: think my love language is active service. I just realized 268 00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:56,640 Speaker 1: yesterday my drive. I need someone in my life, and 269 00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:58,800 Speaker 1: Andrew's not my boyfriend, so it's not fair to put 270 00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:02,080 Speaker 1: him in that position. But I need for my boyfriend. 271 00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:05,360 Speaker 1: I need someone to be like, Wow, she's got a 272 00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:08,280 Speaker 1: lot going on. I'm gonna just go get her groceries 273 00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:10,560 Speaker 1: because I know that's something she has to go do. 274 00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:15,560 Speaker 1: And it was great to have that car ride by myself. 275 00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:17,160 Speaker 1: But I didn't need to be in the car for 276 00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:20,120 Speaker 1: two hours by myself. I didn't need that much time 277 00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:22,880 Speaker 1: to myself, you know what I'm saying. And I was 278 00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:25,280 Speaker 1: just like, I just I was. I was having a 279 00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:28,400 Speaker 1: little like pity party for myself yesterday because I was 280 00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:30,600 Speaker 1: just like, and I was listening to I did listen 281 00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:32,880 Speaker 1: to Britney Spears Lucky because I'm like, she's so lucky, 282 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:35,000 Speaker 1: she's a star, but she cry cry cries in her 283 00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:38,600 Speaker 1: lonely heart, thinking is there something missing in my life? Yeah, 284 00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:42,920 Speaker 1: someone to go get my fucking groceries. And it isn't. 285 00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:44,600 Speaker 1: And I like, but I did let go of the 286 00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:47,600 Speaker 1: resentment to you. I really did. I like process it, 287 00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:50,560 Speaker 1: I felt it, and I was like, this isn't his fault, 288 00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:53,280 Speaker 1: this isn't the show's fault for not going finding someone 289 00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:55,280 Speaker 1: for me to have an assistant. It's my fault for 290 00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:58,120 Speaker 1: not hiring someone to do that. I'm not mad. I 291 00:15:58,280 --> 00:16:00,400 Speaker 1: just like I just think there's a disc nect with 292 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:03,640 Speaker 1: us that like maybe should be talked off off there 293 00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:05,800 Speaker 1: before we get on here so then people have to 294 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:08,640 Speaker 1: hear it. But other than that, like I woke up 295 00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:12,760 Speaker 1: today like feeling so appreciative of you. I felt like 296 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:15,520 Speaker 1: I wanted to hug you without touching you, because I 297 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:17,840 Speaker 1: know you hate when I touch you, and I wanted to, 298 00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:22,560 Speaker 1: like I wanted to literally have like a whorrab moment 299 00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:27,160 Speaker 1: of like I do appreciate you. I do appreciate being here. 300 00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:29,880 Speaker 1: I do appreciate what I learned from you. I do 301 00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:32,720 Speaker 1: appreciate how much you care about me. I do appreciate 302 00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:35,280 Speaker 1: what you do for me. I wanted to hug you. 303 00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:38,680 Speaker 1: I I you know, I wanted to say, you know, 304 00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:42,520 Speaker 1: let's approach this like where we're going on someone else's show. 305 00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:46,000 Speaker 1: Let's let's have a great show, let's have a whole rebirth. 306 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:48,400 Speaker 1: I didn't. I'm not and I'm not saying that you 307 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:50,200 Speaker 1: don't feel that way. I'm just saying like that's how 308 00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:53,920 Speaker 1: I woke up. So then to now like hear this, 309 00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:57,320 Speaker 1: it's like it is what it is like I just think, like, 310 00:16:57,360 --> 00:17:00,360 Speaker 1: well always, I'm just saying Andrew that rarely in our 311 00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:04,320 Speaker 1: little disagreements do I get to raise my concerns. It's usually, 312 00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:07,840 Speaker 1: and you have many. But you felt good yesterday, But 313 00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:10,520 Speaker 1: that doesn't mean that I felt good. Sure, so I'm 314 00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:12,840 Speaker 1: I didn't feel great. I didn't feel great, and I 315 00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:15,479 Speaker 1: got to that like I have a lot of resentments too, 316 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:19,680 Speaker 1: but like sure, like you know, I was I overthink. 317 00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:22,479 Speaker 1: I think we wanting to hug me this morning. Man, 318 00:17:23,119 --> 00:17:25,720 Speaker 1: just want not defensively. You don't need to answer defensively. 319 00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:29,000 Speaker 1: Just I'm really asking you, like, what'd you do? I 320 00:17:29,119 --> 00:17:31,440 Speaker 1: just think, like, one, I got rest, and I'm sorry 321 00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:34,240 Speaker 1: you didn't get as much rest as you wanted. Now 322 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:37,600 Speaker 1: the night before you you could have probably gotten more 323 00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:40,720 Speaker 1: rest if you decide to get rest now. To put 324 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:42,840 Speaker 1: that on me is kind of messed up. I think 325 00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:45,280 Speaker 1: I didn't put it on you a little bit. A 326 00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:48,200 Speaker 1: little bit. You say that you work store at three 327 00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:51,640 Speaker 1: in the morning, No but you, But but you could 328 00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:55,720 Speaker 1: go to bed at ten at night or eleven at night. 329 00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:59,440 Speaker 1: The other night you've been saying that I've been unrested, 330 00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:01,520 Speaker 1: and that has nothing to do with me, okay, that 331 00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:04,359 Speaker 1: has everything to do with your own decisions. Now. I 332 00:18:05,359 --> 00:18:09,600 Speaker 1: think that when when you are going through something annoying, 333 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,200 Speaker 1: like working too much or whatever, then you look at 334 00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:15,280 Speaker 1: me and my life and then you go, well, this 335 00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:18,719 Speaker 1: motherfucker doesn't work as hard as me. He's sleeping on 336 00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:21,520 Speaker 1: the couch while I'm getting the goddamn grocery, and it 337 00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:24,600 Speaker 1: like all gets towards me, yes, instead of pointing towards 338 00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:29,920 Speaker 1: you or towards the position you put yourself in without 339 00:18:30,119 --> 00:18:34,840 Speaker 1: me involvesly nothing but positive for you. I swear to God. 340 00:18:35,119 --> 00:18:37,840 Speaker 1: And if it comes off like negative at all and 341 00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:41,480 Speaker 1: I get frustrated it, you know, I I apologize, and 342 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:43,960 Speaker 1: I swear to you. I just want what's best for you, 343 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:46,520 Speaker 1: and I want to be good for you. You're right, 344 00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:50,720 Speaker 1: You're right, and it's not. Yes, I need a I 345 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:53,639 Speaker 1: need an assistant or a boyfriend who is good at 346 00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:56,320 Speaker 1: acts of service. Noah, do you agree? But that's not 347 00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:59,439 Speaker 1: where I think that, that's that's not But also I 348 00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:01,919 Speaker 1: and I, but because when I hear that, when I 349 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:05,880 Speaker 1: hear that, I hear Andrew, you're not good enough. You're 350 00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:09,160 Speaker 1: not my boyfriend, and you're not my assistant. I hear 351 00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:13,359 Speaker 1: there are millions and millions of people who are rooming 352 00:19:13,359 --> 00:19:16,720 Speaker 1: with each other, or you know people in relationships who 353 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:20,560 Speaker 1: understand that moved in together, who understand this. I've gone 354 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:23,159 Speaker 1: through this. I don't may have to ask you to 355 00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,720 Speaker 1: wash the dishes, John, I want you to want to 356 00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:27,840 Speaker 1: wash the dishes for me, because you know that it's 357 00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:29,879 Speaker 1: something I don't want to do. How many times have 358 00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:33,199 Speaker 1: a wive said that to husbands right and then? And 359 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:36,639 Speaker 1: I've brought that up in therapy, and it's really incumbent 360 00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:41,000 Speaker 1: on me to either ask for help, to have a 361 00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:43,960 Speaker 1: productive conversation about it, or to just be like, well, 362 00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:45,600 Speaker 1: if this is what I need to do right now 363 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:47,760 Speaker 1: is clean, then that's what I'm doing for me, and 364 00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:50,000 Speaker 1: I just have to take ownership of it and not 365 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:53,520 Speaker 1: bring anybody else into this. And that's what I was 366 00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:56,399 Speaker 1: trying to get at, was like I did work through 367 00:19:56,440 --> 00:19:59,520 Speaker 1: those and I did realize all the stuff that we're 368 00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:04,440 Speaker 1: concluding right now, I concluded yesterday. But it's just hard 369 00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:06,120 Speaker 1: to let go of these things sometimes. And I even 370 00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:09,440 Speaker 1: did a meditation about how to. I downloaded this book 371 00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:12,760 Speaker 1: called letting Go, and it's about feeling your feelings and 372 00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:20,280 Speaker 1: how to feel feelings and like how to process resentments, anger, happiness, fear, sadness, 373 00:20:20,359 --> 00:20:22,880 Speaker 1: and like breathe and like focus on them and then 374 00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:25,199 Speaker 1: you process the feeling and then it lets go. And 375 00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:27,360 Speaker 1: I couldn't even do that, Like, I don't even They 376 00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:30,000 Speaker 1: are like, feel you're feeling where it is in your body, 377 00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:32,680 Speaker 1: and I'm just like, it's no, I don't feel I've 378 00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:34,480 Speaker 1: been to so many therapists who are like, Okay, this 379 00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:36,639 Speaker 1: feeling you're feeling right now, where is it in your body? 380 00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:40,880 Speaker 1: I'm like my eyes, I don't know. I don't feel 381 00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:45,200 Speaker 1: it anywhere. Unfortunately, for Andrew, this takes time. You can't 382 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:48,359 Speaker 1: just have that automatic switch go off just because you 383 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:50,240 Speaker 1: read a book. It takes work and it takes time. 384 00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:52,680 Speaker 1: That's the hardest part about it. But you're the kind 385 00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:55,720 Speaker 1: of person who does the hard work, and I think 386 00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:58,639 Speaker 1: having these conversations, even if it's on air, are going 387 00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:01,360 Speaker 1: to help both of you. And the same goes for Andrew. 388 00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:05,200 Speaker 1: I mean, look, I have fears when I hear like 389 00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:07,520 Speaker 1: when I hear you don't do this for me, you 390 00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:10,639 Speaker 1: don't do that. All I'm all I think about is 391 00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:13,720 Speaker 1: like okay, And it goes back to my deepest and 392 00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:16,920 Speaker 1: security yesterday that I'm not enough for you, and that 393 00:21:17,119 --> 00:21:20,600 Speaker 1: then I'm replaceable, and that like me being on the 394 00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:23,240 Speaker 1: podcast or me doing like creative things with you will 395 00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:27,000 Speaker 1: go away because I'm not doing more assistance. Let's go 396 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:33,600 Speaker 1: for work so that I live with that fear. Well, 397 00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:35,880 Speaker 1: this is probably why they invented. Once you guys get 398 00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:38,880 Speaker 1: back to Saint Louis, you can do a delivery service 399 00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:41,520 Speaker 1: and I can help you with that. Very This is 400 00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:45,760 Speaker 1: all kind of uh, this is all coming up because 401 00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:51,679 Speaker 1: the grocery store is forty five minutes. There is one close, 402 00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:55,199 Speaker 1: but it doesn't have the things. There's one right across 403 00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:59,679 Speaker 1: the street, but it just doesn't have it. And I 404 00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:03,560 Speaker 1: can't believe you don't need food. What the what kind 405 00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:06,280 Speaker 1: of food do you have here that you are able 406 00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:10,159 Speaker 1: to make a meal of with that? Because just I 407 00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:12,399 Speaker 1: really want what wondered? I sent you a voice memoi. Yes, 408 00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:14,080 Speaker 1: and I really had let go of it by then 409 00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:15,720 Speaker 1: because I set you a voice memo being like, there's 410 00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:18,000 Speaker 1: no resentment in this at the store. Can I please 411 00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:20,320 Speaker 1: get you something that you need? Please think in the future, 412 00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:23,440 Speaker 1: don't think about tonight because Andrew just goes I'm already full. 413 00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:25,919 Speaker 1: I don't need any food. That's the way Andrew thinks 414 00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:28,879 Speaker 1: is like I go into the grocery. He doesn't think 415 00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:31,199 Speaker 1: about the week ahead. He's just like, right now, I 416 00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:34,120 Speaker 1: just ate. I don't need food. It's like I don't 417 00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:37,080 Speaker 1: understand that mindset of not like planning for the future. 418 00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:41,720 Speaker 1: It's insane. I don't know how this, but but that's me. 419 00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:46,159 Speaker 1: That's my mindset. Like so much. What are you going 420 00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:48,600 Speaker 1: to eat for on our day off tomorrow when we 421 00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:50,960 Speaker 1: have to make our own meals? Probably to flowers to 422 00:22:51,119 --> 00:23:03,199 Speaker 1: someone got up first. Oh boy, we got some good stories. 423 00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:06,600 Speaker 1: I hope everyone's having fun out there. And yeah, all 424 00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:12,720 Speaker 1: having your swells. Uh. I forgot to say swells yesterday 425 00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:15,960 Speaker 1: and I really regretted it, so swells it up? How 426 00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:18,800 Speaker 1: did that start? I just I think I shortened swell 427 00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:23,200 Speaker 1: time swells. Yeah, it's good. It's like a surfer lingo. Yeah. 428 00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:29,200 Speaker 1: It's like, what about the what about? What did what'd 429 00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:36,359 Speaker 1: you say? When we went skiing fresh Po Paladin? God, 430 00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:38,919 Speaker 1: I miss skiing with you, just going down the mountain, 431 00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:41,320 Speaker 1: you going down the mountain without me and me falling 432 00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:47,040 Speaker 1: twelve times? That is the news. Someone wrote about it. 433 00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:50,520 Speaker 1: US Weekly wrote about our trip a year ago. It's 434 00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:57,639 Speaker 1: pretty incredible glasses, Uh, with Snapchat effects into lenses and 435 00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:02,040 Speaker 1: a selfie drone could becoming your way. So Snapchat is 436 00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:04,040 Speaker 1: making or I think they're trying to do, you know, 437 00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:06,679 Speaker 1: Google glass, every one will look like you can do 438 00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:09,560 Speaker 1: filters on everyone. You see. You literally can do filters 439 00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:11,879 Speaker 1: in real life. That this isn't enough for you. This 440 00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:14,280 Speaker 1: beautiful palm tree, You gotta make it a little bit 441 00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:19,560 Speaker 1: more crisp. Oh not, but I'm thinking faces. No, look, yeah, 442 00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:25,360 Speaker 1: it's an altered version of reality. Whoa creepy? I mean 443 00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:27,359 Speaker 1: this is where we're headed. I mean I saw this 444 00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:35,760 Speaker 1: thing yesterday where cows are uses. No, they're actually wearing VR. No, 445 00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:39,960 Speaker 1: what's not VR but virtual reality? Yeah? V those Oculus goggles. Yeah, 446 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:46,440 Speaker 1: Oculus things to simulate a green pasture. So it makes 447 00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:49,320 Speaker 1: the cow more relaxed, and it makes it produce more 448 00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:54,680 Speaker 1: milk and better beef in it. And so cows are 449 00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:58,560 Speaker 1: literally wearing VR stuff and it makes their makes them, 450 00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:01,320 Speaker 1: you know, whatever it is they're doing, it makes them better. 451 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:03,480 Speaker 1: And it's like we can't just give them that. We 452 00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:06,080 Speaker 1: have to like because their lives are such hell. We 453 00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:08,120 Speaker 1: now have to put goggles on them so that they 454 00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:12,359 Speaker 1: are It's like chicken, now our our free range, but 455 00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:14,840 Speaker 1: only in the VR. We're like, they're like, it's a 456 00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:18,760 Speaker 1: free range virtual reality. Just don't don't walk four inches ahead, 457 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:22,080 Speaker 1: stay in this little bubble and you can have the whole. Yeah, 458 00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:24,000 Speaker 1: that actually sounds kind of nice. Like if we're in 459 00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:26,240 Speaker 1: Saint Louis and the winter, you throw on some vrs 460 00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:27,919 Speaker 1: and next thing I know, I'm on the beach with 461 00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:30,000 Speaker 1: some girl with huge tits and a tan. I did 462 00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:32,520 Speaker 1: a VR porn ones like on my show Not Safe. 463 00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:34,640 Speaker 1: It never aired, but they made me a porn where 464 00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:37,800 Speaker 1: it was specified to like, we hired a company to 465 00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:40,600 Speaker 1: make a porn for me where it was hot dudes 466 00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:43,040 Speaker 1: feeding me fro you while a girl went down on me. 467 00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:45,080 Speaker 1: I don't know why. That was god and made me squirt. 468 00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:47,600 Speaker 1: And then I looked down and I the girl that 469 00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:51,399 Speaker 1: was me was squirting. Was it your leg No, it 470 00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:52,840 Speaker 1: was a girl that like, they tried to get a 471 00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:55,800 Speaker 1: girl that was as much my legs as me as possible. 472 00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:57,680 Speaker 1: Did you get to pick her out? No? It was 473 00:25:57,720 --> 00:25:59,119 Speaker 1: all it was supposed to be all. It was all 474 00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:01,240 Speaker 1: surprised and so was all shot without my knowledge, and 475 00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:02,720 Speaker 1: then I sit down and do it, and then there's 476 00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:04,840 Speaker 1: a whole crew of people from my show watching me, 477 00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:07,359 Speaker 1: like legit gotta get a rouse. I mean it was 478 00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:10,439 Speaker 1: like I had never had a girl go down on me, 479 00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:12,359 Speaker 1: so I was getting to do that. I was getting 480 00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:14,560 Speaker 1: to I had never scored at that point in my life, 481 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:16,760 Speaker 1: got to do that, never had a bunch of guys 482 00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:19,440 Speaker 1: in tuxedos feed me for you while I'm getting run 483 00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:20,919 Speaker 1: down on it. I mean it was, Oh my god, 484 00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:24,680 Speaker 1: that heaven. It never aired because our show got canceled 485 00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:28,600 Speaker 1: before because we weren't get that footage. You No, I've 486 00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:30,560 Speaker 1: tried to get so much footage. I also did a 487 00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:34,200 Speaker 1: blowjob class with my mom that is fucking hilarious, hosted 488 00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:38,719 Speaker 1: by Emily Morse. It would be different now that podcast 489 00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:40,800 Speaker 1: that I love. She was I didn't even know that 490 00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:42,879 Speaker 1: she was. I kind of knew of her, but she 491 00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:45,560 Speaker 1: taught my mom and I how to do blow jobs. 492 00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:50,360 Speaker 1: And what I learned, lube is your friend. Lube. Use 493 00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:53,840 Speaker 1: lube for blow jobs. Use lube even if you're already wet. 494 00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:57,600 Speaker 1: Just use lube. Don't ever be scared of using lube. 495 00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:00,480 Speaker 1: You sound like a car repair man. Yeah, I'm just 496 00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:04,200 Speaker 1: go into loupe. Now I can't even stand it, Like, yeah, 497 00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:06,119 Speaker 1: no matter what did you do? Yeah? I got a 498 00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:09,200 Speaker 1: w D forty it wait wait wait, so can we? 499 00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:11,399 Speaker 1: First of all, I won't be froyo, it'd be humus. 500 00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:13,680 Speaker 1: Now you'd be completely different. I'm not I'm not in 501 00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:19,360 Speaker 1: I don't eat sugar anymore. But what did you have 502 00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:23,080 Speaker 1: an orgasm? No? On camera? No way, no way, no way. 503 00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:25,639 Speaker 1: You know me, I can't even I probably have an 504 00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:28,840 Speaker 1: orgasm three out of four times I masturbate and I'm 505 00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:33,320 Speaker 1: trying for it. Four. Wow, that's gotta be so watching. 506 00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:36,639 Speaker 1: I can't imagine if I jerked every time I jerked 507 00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:39,639 Speaker 1: off seventy five percent of the time I was not coming. 508 00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:43,960 Speaker 1: I would just stop. I would just not enjoy the process. 509 00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:47,080 Speaker 1: Someone recently was like, you love the deprivation. You love 510 00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:49,320 Speaker 1: like not being able to? Is not that? Like I 511 00:27:49,359 --> 00:27:52,520 Speaker 1: don't feel sometimes it just like goes away. It's like elusive. 512 00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:55,680 Speaker 1: I thought you had zolof dick and you can't come 513 00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:58,720 Speaker 1: sometimes with a woman. But when I jerk off, what's 514 00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:02,000 Speaker 1: up feeling? I can come with the woman? Is it frustra? 515 00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:04,480 Speaker 1: Do you have the blueballs and the anxiety, like is 516 00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:06,560 Speaker 1: it there's something? And I know this is going to 517 00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:09,840 Speaker 1: sound like I'm like selfless, but as long as she's 518 00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:12,800 Speaker 1: enjoying it, I get enjoyment out of that where I 519 00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:14,520 Speaker 1: don't feel like I need to come, but if it 520 00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:16,760 Speaker 1: was just me created when I can't come for sure, 521 00:28:17,080 --> 00:28:19,719 Speaker 1: But it's not like something I can't go to sleep too. 522 00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:23,240 Speaker 1: It's literally like it's like it's like it just kind 523 00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:25,760 Speaker 1: of dissolves, like that the idea of an orgasm dissolves, 524 00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:27,959 Speaker 1: and I don't even want it anymore because I've just 525 00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:30,760 Speaker 1: and I've spent so long that I'm like numb down 526 00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:33,680 Speaker 1: there almost. What's the longest you think you've ever masturbaby 527 00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:38,440 Speaker 1: Soup to nuts? An hour and a half, that's and 528 00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:41,600 Speaker 1: that was probably three weeks ago. Yeah, an hour and 529 00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:44,080 Speaker 1: a half. You can we go through this hour and 530 00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:46,479 Speaker 1: a half because I can't. I can't assume that it 531 00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:49,200 Speaker 1: was just vibrated right away. Do you start with the 532 00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:51,160 Speaker 1: hand and work? I mean an hour and I start 533 00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:54,800 Speaker 1: with the long that's a comedy special on a hand, 534 00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:59,600 Speaker 1: start with the wand over the comforter like on around 535 00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:02,520 Speaker 1: that air. Yeah, and then as I'm browsing porn just 536 00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:05,760 Speaker 1: to get me worked up. Then that was really about 537 00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:08,520 Speaker 1: not being able to find the right porn okay, and 538 00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:14,600 Speaker 1: searching so like generally it takes me like fifteen twenty 539 00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:16,560 Speaker 1: minutes to locate a clip. That day, I just couldn't 540 00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:19,040 Speaker 1: find one that got it, and it was probably because 541 00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:23,000 Speaker 1: I just was just not I could my body wasn't 542 00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:25,760 Speaker 1: able to do it. But then like, yes, last night 543 00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:29,000 Speaker 1: I masturbated and it took me probably thirty five minutes, 544 00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:30,960 Speaker 1: which is a rather short session. So let's go through 545 00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:33,000 Speaker 1: and a half. Okay, just remember we only have twenty 546 00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:36,200 Speaker 1: minutes for the news. Yeah, I'm sorry, Well that's not 547 00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:38,560 Speaker 1: even a long enough for news, let alone time I couldn't. 548 00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:41,080 Speaker 1: I love how Andrew like every time we talk about 549 00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:44,360 Speaker 1: you masturbating or like your boobs or something, he just 550 00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:46,680 Speaker 1: gets like like a little boy and starts asking all 551 00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:50,760 Speaker 1: these excited questions. It is interesting, but yeah, it's it's 552 00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:52,920 Speaker 1: it's most of the time it's just searching clips and 553 00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:55,520 Speaker 1: looking for the perfect one because I get really picky. 554 00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:57,600 Speaker 1: It's like when you're looking for a Netflix movie and 555 00:29:57,640 --> 00:29:59,400 Speaker 1: you never even land on a movie because you're just 556 00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:01,840 Speaker 1: you can't stop looking. Yeah, so you just search the 557 00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:04,000 Speaker 1: whole time because you find something good enough and you're like, 558 00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:06,200 Speaker 1: but there's probably something better. And a lot of times, 559 00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:08,160 Speaker 1: let me just final statement on this, A lot of 560 00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:09,760 Speaker 1: times when I do find a clip that I like 561 00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:12,680 Speaker 1: and I'm ready to like finally have an orgasm, I 562 00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:15,640 Speaker 1: go like, but there could be a better orgasm with 563 00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:18,360 Speaker 1: a better clip, and so I keep looking. It's like tender, 564 00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:20,000 Speaker 1: you know, you never want to settle on someone because 565 00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:22,520 Speaker 1: there could be a better person just you know, on 566 00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:26,400 Speaker 1: the next st app But what amazes me, and this 567 00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:28,239 Speaker 1: is why I get like perked up when I hear 568 00:30:28,280 --> 00:30:30,640 Speaker 1: an hour and a half is that you for play 569 00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:34,680 Speaker 1: yourself like a guy. We never like feel our dick 570 00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:37,480 Speaker 1: on top of our short but you know what I mean, 571 00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:41,200 Speaker 1: Like we don't like like like get it going and 572 00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:43,280 Speaker 1: then like we just get right to the meat. No, 573 00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:47,080 Speaker 1: I know. And that's why I to just like take 574 00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:51,160 Speaker 1: your time, all right. Next story that took an hour 575 00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:55,400 Speaker 1: and a half. Let us and snap glasses. One game 576 00:30:56,840 --> 00:31:00,600 Speaker 1: I did. Uh study finds that strength training your tongue 577 00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:03,120 Speaker 1: could grow it a little bit, a little bit an inch. 578 00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:06,600 Speaker 1: We read. I found this weird stat on Twitter and 579 00:31:06,640 --> 00:31:09,320 Speaker 1: it's real. If you want a longer tongue, by it 580 00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:12,959 Speaker 1: by a longer tongue. Let me see WHOA you have 581 00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:16,800 Speaker 1: a you have a long tongue? Yeah, I want it. 582 00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:18,600 Speaker 1: I wanted an inch longer. I'll have to do us 583 00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:21,640 Speaker 1: pull on it thirty times a day for a week, 584 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:24,320 Speaker 1: for four weeks, five days a week, thirty times a day. 585 00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:26,880 Speaker 1: You get a color on it. You got to get gauze, 586 00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:30,200 Speaker 1: so it has. You can stretch your own tongue by 587 00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:33,720 Speaker 1: an inch. An inch for a leg would be a lot. 588 00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:36,040 Speaker 1: Let a load a tongue a tongue. An inch is 589 00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:40,440 Speaker 1: a tongue. You guys, this is wild and girls, do 590 00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:43,840 Speaker 1: you get typically prove it? Okay? I have a philosophical 591 00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:46,360 Speaker 1: question for you guys though, sure, because you seem very 592 00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:49,520 Speaker 1: into the extra inch. But if your mouth is only 593 00:31:49,560 --> 00:31:53,479 Speaker 1: a certain length, then you'd have to like either stuff 594 00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:56,400 Speaker 1: it behind your teeth or like walk around with it 595 00:31:56,480 --> 00:32:00,000 Speaker 1: hanging out. I mean, like your tongue is already probably 596 00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:02,640 Speaker 1: longer than you're Oh, actually, when I make it loose, 597 00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:04,959 Speaker 1: it still stays in my mouth. You're right, I don't know. 598 00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:06,800 Speaker 1: I think I think it stays in We have we 599 00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:09,280 Speaker 1: have someone on set, who was a splitting their tongue? 600 00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:13,520 Speaker 1: Who did like the she's the coolest check she's she's 601 00:32:13,560 --> 00:32:16,640 Speaker 1: my sun engineer. Yeah, she puts on my microphone every 602 00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:19,560 Speaker 1: day and she has up you know, splitting her tongue 603 00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:22,720 Speaker 1: and she could do likes her tongue like for good luck. 604 00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:25,440 Speaker 1: It's pretty cool. I think that you would get used 605 00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:26,959 Speaker 1: to it. It's kind of like if you had a 606 00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:30,880 Speaker 1: long penis and short shorts like in mesh like tight shorts, 607 00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:33,560 Speaker 1: you don't you wouldn't or you don't think about your 608 00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:36,440 Speaker 1: dick being held in huh, you'd be like one of 609 00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:38,280 Speaker 1: those cute dogs on Instagram. Then have the tongue to 610 00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:42,160 Speaker 1: I'd have so many likes you. I sent this yesterday 611 00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:44,800 Speaker 1: to you and you were like doing it and I go, 612 00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:46,479 Speaker 1: why would you want a longer tongue? And you were 613 00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:50,120 Speaker 1: like because it helps with what what'd you say, Oh, dysphasia, 614 00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:54,360 Speaker 1: which is a fear of choking or that Andrew has 615 00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:56,240 Speaker 1: so when I used to have it. I think I'm 616 00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:59,920 Speaker 1: good now at this point. But yes, I went through 617 00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:02,960 Speaker 1: a moment in my life where I drove myself to 618 00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:06,160 Speaker 1: urgent care thinking I was choking to death, and I 619 00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:10,400 Speaker 1: drove twenty minutes. Wow, got there and you said I'm 620 00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:13,440 Speaker 1: choking to death to the woman that was doing intake. Yeah, 621 00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:15,240 Speaker 1: and she said how long is your tongue? And I 622 00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:17,200 Speaker 1: She's like, you got to pull on that thing. Let 623 00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:20,040 Speaker 1: me see how you have a decent size tongue. That's 624 00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:23,680 Speaker 1: not a short tongue. No, but yeah, but since that moment, 625 00:33:24,080 --> 00:33:26,000 Speaker 1: I got an x ray. They said nothing was in 626 00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:30,480 Speaker 1: my throat. The the doctor said their symptoms usually choking 627 00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:33,160 Speaker 1: like I was going crazy. I was having a panic 628 00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:36,720 Speaker 1: attack and h and I stem from did you choke 629 00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:41,640 Speaker 1: as a child? No, I don't think so. Uh, except no, 630 00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:44,040 Speaker 1: I don't think I did. I just I just I 631 00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:45,840 Speaker 1: think it's so funny that it takes an hour and 632 00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:48,440 Speaker 1: a half for you to choke to death, to choke 633 00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:56,680 Speaker 1: the chicken. Beat itism for choking off choking the chicken. Yeah, 634 00:33:56,720 --> 00:33:59,320 Speaker 1: I'm thinking about pulling on my dick five times a 635 00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:01,760 Speaker 1: day and get it up to four inches. If that worked, 636 00:34:01,840 --> 00:34:04,920 Speaker 1: that study would be out there. This one, this one 637 00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:07,360 Speaker 1: is legit. It's it's I saw it on Twitter and 638 00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:09,680 Speaker 1: it only has twelve likes. This this tweet, this guy 639 00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:12,320 Speaker 1: who's like, hey, for those of you who care. I 640 00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:14,040 Speaker 1: don't know how I saw it was some random guy 641 00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:16,840 Speaker 1: follow retweeted his friend that only has like a couple followers. 642 00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:19,800 Speaker 1: But it's a real thing that works. I mean, look, 643 00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:22,319 Speaker 1: I don't under see you out there have a small, 644 00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:24,040 Speaker 1: a short tongue and you're insecure about it. You can 645 00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:27,200 Speaker 1: get an inch length in five weeks by sting by 646 00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:29,839 Speaker 1: pulling out your tongue with gauze thirty times a day, 647 00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:33,640 Speaker 1: just doing long poles and for five weeks, five five 648 00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:35,640 Speaker 1: days a week, and you'll have an inch longer tongue. 649 00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:37,680 Speaker 1: That is insane. You'd be like you'd be able to 650 00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:39,840 Speaker 1: get insects in the air. But you were saying, do 651 00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:42,640 Speaker 1: girls like long tongues because sometimes guys on you see 652 00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:44,239 Speaker 1: a lot of guys on TikTok like showing off how 653 00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:47,160 Speaker 1: their tongues are like. And yeah, when you're getting unnelingus, 654 00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:49,440 Speaker 1: a tongue is interesting. Like a tongue that knows what 655 00:34:49,480 --> 00:34:52,399 Speaker 1: it's doing can be good. And if you're a girl 656 00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:54,480 Speaker 1: that likes a tongue like inside you, I guess it 657 00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:57,520 Speaker 1: could be like deeper inside you. But I think the 658 00:34:57,600 --> 00:35:01,080 Speaker 1: key to going a kunnelingus it's just I just signed 659 00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:04,040 Speaker 1: when a guy tries to be sexual by putting his 660 00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:05,840 Speaker 1: tongue even a little bit out of his mouth, like 661 00:35:05,960 --> 00:35:08,360 Speaker 1: LLL cool J was known for licking the lip gross, 662 00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:13,120 Speaker 1: like you're trying to be gross. You're like, does that 663 00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:18,040 Speaker 1: turn Yeah, that's nothing, but certain girls. I mean, you know, 664 00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:20,759 Speaker 1: if a girl is going it would probably turn on 665 00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:23,319 Speaker 1: a guy a little bit sometimes. Wait, yeah, I think 666 00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:26,239 Speaker 1: the tongue just tells a girl that that guy likes 667 00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:29,799 Speaker 1: to eat pussy. Okay, so why do we care? Why 668 00:35:29,840 --> 00:35:34,480 Speaker 1: do I care? Okay? Why do I care? What is this? Angelina? Oh, 669 00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:37,759 Speaker 1: have been going through a costly and bitter divorce since 670 00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:42,680 Speaker 1: twoy sixteen. Right, They've each spent well over one million 671 00:35:42,719 --> 00:35:46,840 Speaker 1: dollars in legal costs because Angelina wants full custody and 672 00:35:46,840 --> 00:35:50,000 Speaker 1: Brad just wants fifty fifty. They have six kids. Why 673 00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:52,880 Speaker 1: can't she give him half? What do you think it is? 674 00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:56,279 Speaker 1: Do you think he cheated on her? Probably? Then, I 675 00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:59,920 Speaker 1: don't know. I mean I assume that it probably has 676 00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:03,239 Speaker 1: something to do with that. They're both people that got 677 00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:09,000 Speaker 1: together from a cheating incident. But were you mad at 678 00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:13,439 Speaker 1: Angelina Jolie because you're such a Aniston head? No, I honestly, wasn't. 679 00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:15,480 Speaker 1: I think maybe I was a little bit like I 680 00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:19,120 Speaker 1: was probably mad at Brad, but I don't. I just 681 00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:23,160 Speaker 1: don't see how people don't cheat when they're making a 682 00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:26,880 Speaker 1: movie where they're playing lovers and they're both sexy people 683 00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:30,040 Speaker 1: like I Just if I ever dated an actor who 684 00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:33,359 Speaker 1: was on set romantically with a woman, I'd say, but bye, 685 00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:37,560 Speaker 1: yeah it was especially you're going to Paris to shoot 686 00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:43,239 Speaker 1: a movie with fucking Sale or Mara whatever. I'll see 687 00:36:43,239 --> 00:36:45,239 Speaker 1: you when you get back. You will be in love 688 00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:48,640 Speaker 1: with her, and you'll fucking hate me, but we'll get 689 00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:50,759 Speaker 1: through it or we won't. But like, I'm not going 690 00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:52,439 Speaker 1: to pretend you won't fall in love with this person. 691 00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:54,600 Speaker 1: I just and good luck on Dancing with the Stars. 692 00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:56,680 Speaker 1: I'll see you in a month when you get eliminated. 693 00:36:56,719 --> 00:36:58,520 Speaker 1: But you will be in love with your partner, and 694 00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:00,800 Speaker 1: that's not for me. I wasn't in love with my partner, 695 00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:03,080 Speaker 1: but you will be in love. A man will be 696 00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:04,440 Speaker 1: in love with your female partner. If you go on 697 00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:06,680 Speaker 1: Dancing with the Stars, you will and he'll be like, no, 698 00:37:06,719 --> 00:37:09,040 Speaker 1: but I put a sock over my cock. Yeah no, 699 00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:13,280 Speaker 1: it's complete, like nothing, there's nothing I mean, I'm hard 700 00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:16,839 Speaker 1: this this divorce. That's insane that it's you know when 701 00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:20,000 Speaker 1: women unless bread is like abusive to the kids. Is 702 00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:22,080 Speaker 1: there such thing as fourth custody? Can you give a 703 00:37:22,120 --> 00:37:25,560 Speaker 1: guy a fourth of it custody? Like none? That's crazy 704 00:37:25,640 --> 00:37:28,840 Speaker 1: they have. I think that's the I think that's the 705 00:37:28,920 --> 00:37:31,959 Speaker 1: problem with children with divorce is that if you don't 706 00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:34,839 Speaker 1: go hard in the paint, then you can't settle. It's 707 00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:39,400 Speaker 1: like parents fight, for dude, My parents fought. My parents 708 00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:43,239 Speaker 1: were divorced. My dad had an affair. My mom, I 709 00:37:43,239 --> 00:37:45,760 Speaker 1: guess didn't blow him enough. I don't really know what happened, 710 00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:51,200 Speaker 1: but uh, that's that's why cheating happens. Yeah, also cheating 711 00:37:51,239 --> 00:37:55,640 Speaker 1: have a long tongue. But I think like they they 712 00:37:55,680 --> 00:37:59,280 Speaker 1: it went on for years. They're trying to get bull 713 00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:04,080 Speaker 1: I think not they settled on. My dad only had 714 00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:09,880 Speaker 1: Wednesday and every other weekend, which you know, uh, you 715 00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:11,680 Speaker 1: know where I get my food thing from. I just 716 00:38:11,719 --> 00:38:14,040 Speaker 1: thought about this where I don't care about having food. 717 00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:17,640 Speaker 1: My dad we'd go there and he would have a 718 00:38:17,680 --> 00:38:20,720 Speaker 1: half a pizza and like a half a diet pepsi 719 00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:24,839 Speaker 1: for us, like he never but he was working more. 720 00:38:24,880 --> 00:38:27,040 Speaker 1: But whatever he might have learned from that and been like, Oh, 721 00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:29,120 Speaker 1: i don't want scarcity in my life, so I'm going 722 00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:32,440 Speaker 1: to plan ahead instead. You get a full pizza. Yeah no, 723 00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:35,320 Speaker 1: But anyways, my dad and my mom had had vicious 724 00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:39,160 Speaker 1: courtroom fights where it was all ego and even when 725 00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:42,120 Speaker 1: like you finally get the kids to cut to get over, 726 00:38:42,160 --> 00:38:43,919 Speaker 1: it had nothing to do with your dad. I don't 727 00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:46,000 Speaker 1: even want the kids. You just want to win. And 728 00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:49,040 Speaker 1: by the way, cheating does not. A guy who cheats 729 00:38:49,239 --> 00:38:51,759 Speaker 1: doesn't mean he's gonna beat the kids, like or cheat 730 00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:53,600 Speaker 1: on the kids, Like what does that mean? Like he 731 00:38:53,680 --> 00:38:55,920 Speaker 1: can't have full because he can't have half because he 732 00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:58,399 Speaker 1: cheated on me. That has nothing to do with being 733 00:38:58,400 --> 00:39:00,640 Speaker 1: a father. I mean, it's it's not that the character 734 00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:02,520 Speaker 1: of someone who cheats wouldn't be a bad character, and 735 00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:04,799 Speaker 1: then it would spill into being a bad dad. But 736 00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:07,879 Speaker 1: that's not reason enough to not like, is he gonna 737 00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:10,879 Speaker 1: he might start playing with other kids while my kids 738 00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:14,040 Speaker 1: are there? Can I in for a sec because I 739 00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:16,600 Speaker 1: have I have a similar experience that Andrew has, like 740 00:39:16,719 --> 00:39:20,359 Speaker 1: with with my parents, except at an older age. And 741 00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:24,279 Speaker 1: what I realized from divorce is that it's a it's 742 00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:26,680 Speaker 1: a big industry and there's a lot of money to 743 00:39:26,719 --> 00:39:30,279 Speaker 1: be made off of people's pain, so I think. But 744 00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:33,719 Speaker 1: there are some other bad players in all this, Yes, 745 00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:38,520 Speaker 1: kind of like weddings. Yeah, well that's the thing. Your 746 00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:41,839 Speaker 1: parents get separated. Let's say my parents were separate when 747 00:39:41,840 --> 00:39:44,920 Speaker 1: I was twelve or thirteen, the court fight, like they 748 00:39:45,080 --> 00:39:48,920 Speaker 1: weren't fully divorced for years, like, so it had nothing 749 00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:50,920 Speaker 1: to do with when they when your dad actually leaves 750 00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:53,040 Speaker 1: the house. So wild to me that people can love 751 00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:55,520 Speaker 1: each other so much and then literally hate each other 752 00:39:55,520 --> 00:39:57,520 Speaker 1: more than anyone else on the planet and try to 753 00:39:57,520 --> 00:40:01,520 Speaker 1: take your children from the per person. I mean, it's 754 00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:04,560 Speaker 1: just it's it's just it's just wild human behavior. Also 755 00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:07,080 Speaker 1: in regards to money, like Angelina is not going to 756 00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:10,640 Speaker 1: have another twenty million dollar picture, you know what I mean, 757 00:40:10,680 --> 00:40:13,520 Speaker 1: Brad might still be able to you know, like they're 758 00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:16,320 Speaker 1: getting less and less work. She just sold a painting 759 00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:19,560 Speaker 1: by Winston Churchill that Brad gave her, is believed to 760 00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:23,759 Speaker 1: have gifted her for like eleven million dollars. She literally 761 00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:29,640 Speaker 1: has another eleven million dollar picture. Yeah, it's a painting picture. 762 00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:32,759 Speaker 1: She doesn't have a as you said, picture, the way 763 00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:35,640 Speaker 1: you say, picture is picture, So no, she doesn't have 764 00:40:35,640 --> 00:40:39,440 Speaker 1: a picture of ice tea worth fifty million dollars. If 765 00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:42,920 Speaker 1: Brad drank from it, it would be some some horny 766 00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:45,839 Speaker 1: little housewife would pay for that. I mean, Brad, all right, 767 00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:49,200 Speaker 1: it's only getting hotter. I know it's it's that's the 768 00:40:49,239 --> 00:40:51,920 Speaker 1: way the world works, all right. We gotta get to 769 00:40:54,200 --> 00:41:05,520 Speaker 1: collection of kids, kids getting ready for a good so good. Yes, 770 00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:09,480 Speaker 1: those are all my best friends from my school saying 771 00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:12,960 Speaker 1: the catchphrase that we coined in high school called k Now. 772 00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:15,399 Speaker 1: If you're a new listener to the show, you might 773 00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:18,239 Speaker 1: not know what CU is. I haven't set it up 774 00:41:18,239 --> 00:41:21,920 Speaker 1: on this show tech totally, but in my past podcast 775 00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:25,400 Speaker 1: I've really gone over what because I'm trying to spread it. 776 00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:29,719 Speaker 1: It's just a perfect way to describe someone who is 777 00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:34,879 Speaker 1: doing something to appear to others as cool that they 778 00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:37,319 Speaker 1: don't need to do. They're putting an effort to look, 779 00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:39,600 Speaker 1: which we all do. But this is this is like 780 00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:43,839 Speaker 1: you're doing a thing that is just like you. Just 781 00:41:44,120 --> 00:41:46,640 Speaker 1: It's a perfect response to like someone who revs the 782 00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:52,160 Speaker 1: peels out of a grocery store, or someone who I 783 00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:54,640 Speaker 1: don't know, like like oh, a guy on the subway, 784 00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:58,319 Speaker 1: who's like rapping to himself loudly or like something so 785 00:41:58,360 --> 00:42:01,560 Speaker 1: that he's doing this so that other people are like, man, 786 00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:06,000 Speaker 1: he's really cool, but instead he's care. It's just it's 787 00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:10,520 Speaker 1: an incredulous, disgusted, disgusted way of saying you're cool, like 788 00:42:10,880 --> 00:42:13,279 Speaker 1: care and you do a peace sign when you do it, 789 00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:17,680 Speaker 1: and you're like care literally whatever I do. Anything that 790 00:42:17,840 --> 00:42:21,080 Speaker 1: someone is doing something that makes them seem collects a 791 00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:23,239 Speaker 1: group of guys is like shouting and being loud because 792 00:42:23,239 --> 00:42:25,319 Speaker 1: they're trying to get attention from girls. I always go 793 00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:32,160 Speaker 1: a perfect guy would be on a speaker phone doing business. Yeah, 794 00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:38,520 Speaker 1: it's we got to get it at you guys. Use it. 795 00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:42,560 Speaker 1: It's so cathartic to release. Now. In this segment, will 796 00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:45,200 Speaker 1: be taking submissions for kuz. If you have any you 797 00:42:45,239 --> 00:42:48,359 Speaker 1: can always dm us Nikki Glazer pod on Instagram. Thank 798 00:42:48,360 --> 00:42:51,000 Speaker 1: you for everyone who's following that account. You can also 799 00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:54,120 Speaker 1: write into the show at the Nikki Glazer Podcast at 800 00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:57,880 Speaker 1: Gmail and we will have your collections of Kuz and 801 00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:00,279 Speaker 1: and you'll get a better feel for what as are 802 00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:02,040 Speaker 1: as we go and when you encounter them in real life. 803 00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:04,719 Speaker 1: I'd love you to send them our way. We all 804 00:43:04,719 --> 00:43:09,040 Speaker 1: can be cud. I've been very I've been cud myself before, 805 00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:11,400 Speaker 1: where you're just you know. The other day, I was 806 00:43:11,480 --> 00:43:13,960 Speaker 1: driving into set and I was blasting like a song 807 00:43:14,080 --> 00:43:17,560 Speaker 1: that I wanted people to think, like, oh, she's not cool, 808 00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:21,399 Speaker 1: but like wow, like where we think a thing about 809 00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:23,440 Speaker 1: Nikki because she's blasting that song like it chose a 810 00:43:23,520 --> 00:43:27,040 Speaker 1: song so that I think it was some Taylor Swift 811 00:43:27,080 --> 00:43:29,160 Speaker 1: ship because I just wanted like people to be like 812 00:43:29,280 --> 00:43:30,880 Speaker 1: I like, I like, I want to make friends that 813 00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:33,040 Speaker 1: like like Taylor Swift. I want to like. So I 814 00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:35,480 Speaker 1: don't know if that's cud, because I obviously Taylor Swift 815 00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:38,600 Speaker 1: isn't cool. No one's gonna be like she's cool, but 816 00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:40,680 Speaker 1: I wanted to, like wanted people to hear it so 817 00:43:40,719 --> 00:43:45,040 Speaker 1: that they would comment to me and I could make friends. So, uh, noah, 818 00:43:45,080 --> 00:43:48,799 Speaker 1: you have a great example of a kid. Yes, and 819 00:43:48,840 --> 00:43:50,560 Speaker 1: I'd love for you to share it with our listeners. 820 00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:53,960 Speaker 1: So I had an ex boyfriend who uh like zooped 821 00:43:54,080 --> 00:43:59,279 Speaker 1: up his car and he had words soup is already 822 00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:01,799 Speaker 1: but that's what he used to say about it. So 823 00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:06,479 Speaker 1: I'm using his language. All right, it's already Ki, Yeah, 824 00:44:06,520 --> 00:44:10,400 Speaker 1: and he like made his suber ru like he has 825 00:44:10,400 --> 00:44:14,560 Speaker 1: a super Ru that he zooped up. He's zuber rude. Yes, 826 00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:18,719 Speaker 1: And he used to rev his engine whenever he would 827 00:44:18,760 --> 00:44:21,520 Speaker 1: get angry or if we would argue in the car, 828 00:44:21,719 --> 00:44:25,719 Speaker 1: he would speed to show how angry he was. So 829 00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:29,719 Speaker 1: guys who use their car as a means of describing 830 00:44:29,760 --> 00:44:33,960 Speaker 1: their anger are my kids for the weekend. Any guy 831 00:44:34,440 --> 00:44:39,239 Speaker 1: who like flores it or peels out, or like if 832 00:44:39,239 --> 00:44:40,840 Speaker 1: you're driving in a car with a guy and he 833 00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:44,200 Speaker 1: makes you feel unsafe because he's like met like road raging, 834 00:44:44,480 --> 00:44:47,919 Speaker 1: or he's trying to like show off. You are such 835 00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:51,920 Speaker 1: a kid piece of shit, And I hope that we 836 00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:54,120 Speaker 1: do get in a car accident and it only takes 837 00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:59,360 Speaker 1: you out and I walk away maybe a scratch on 838 00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:02,600 Speaker 1: my wrist to remember. You know, what's the best day 839 00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:05,120 Speaker 1: of my life. When one of these cars, like no 840 00:45:05,239 --> 00:45:07,680 Speaker 1: I was talking about, has like one hundred and eighty horsepower, 841 00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:10,680 Speaker 1: which is not a lot at all, and you changed 842 00:45:10,719 --> 00:45:12,839 Speaker 1: a muffler to make it sound like you have three 843 00:45:12,960 --> 00:45:16,080 Speaker 1: hundred and fifty horsepower, It's like, could you can't afford 844 00:45:16,160 --> 00:45:19,279 Speaker 1: an actual sports car? You can't. Yeah, he is so 845 00:45:19,600 --> 00:45:21,880 Speaker 1: k and like if he There was a guy in 846 00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:24,480 Speaker 1: high school this was the origin of k Like one 847 00:45:24,520 --> 00:45:27,640 Speaker 1: of the earliest kids, My friend Huffy dated this guy 848 00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:31,440 Speaker 1: named Mark and he had an automatic car, but he 849 00:45:31,560 --> 00:45:35,520 Speaker 1: would shift between neutral and drive to make it seem though, 850 00:45:35,560 --> 00:45:37,680 Speaker 1: to make it feel like he was driving a stick 851 00:45:38,320 --> 00:45:43,239 Speaker 1: Say it with me. Now, you know what's when a 852 00:45:43,320 --> 00:45:46,560 Speaker 1: guy adds a spoiler to a shitty car and it's 853 00:45:46,600 --> 00:45:49,880 Speaker 1: like five feet high, so you know that bitch is flying. 854 00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:55,960 Speaker 1: Oh my god, that is I mean, like anyone that's 855 00:45:56,040 --> 00:45:58,960 Speaker 1: just like even let's let's not do this all about guy. 856 00:45:59,400 --> 00:46:02,359 Speaker 1: If a girl all like even comments that like oh yeah. 857 00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:05,040 Speaker 1: I was like, I'm trying to think of like how 858 00:46:05,080 --> 00:46:07,040 Speaker 1: a girl would might be kid if she's just like 859 00:46:07,200 --> 00:46:11,799 Speaker 1: can girls be kid? Yea? If they just if they're 860 00:46:11,880 --> 00:46:16,399 Speaker 1: trying to be like I like, wait, hold on, I'm 861 00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:18,960 Speaker 1: trying to think of an example of a kid. Okay, 862 00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:23,040 Speaker 1: I I think I might have one. Okay, please someone Okay, 863 00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:24,920 Speaker 1: but go you first, you're the oh no, you You 864 00:46:26,680 --> 00:46:33,400 Speaker 1: maybe someone who posts of like a flashback photo bragging 865 00:46:33,480 --> 00:46:38,239 Speaker 1: about like how cool they were in their younger years. Yeah, 866 00:46:38,400 --> 00:46:41,560 Speaker 1: showing that off. Yes, if you know that in a 867 00:46:41,680 --> 00:46:45,000 Speaker 1: post like a Flashback Friday or TBT that you look 868 00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:48,080 Speaker 1: like hot and like you're clearly showing that you were, 869 00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:50,920 Speaker 1: and you're making fun of yourself. But it's also like 870 00:46:51,080 --> 00:46:53,920 Speaker 1: you also look hot and like everyone who lived during 871 00:46:53,960 --> 00:46:56,719 Speaker 1: that time knows that that person like looked actually cool, 872 00:46:57,160 --> 00:47:02,239 Speaker 1: your cat and if you look like such a trying 873 00:47:02,320 --> 00:47:04,960 Speaker 1: to be vulnerable but like being like, oh my god, 874 00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:06,879 Speaker 1: I'm so embarrassed, but you know you look at you're 875 00:47:06,920 --> 00:47:08,880 Speaker 1: so fucking k we see right through you, Like if 876 00:47:08,920 --> 00:47:11,680 Speaker 1: the color my prom queen dress girls submitted a KA 877 00:47:11,880 --> 00:47:14,960 Speaker 1: one time that to my old podcast that was fantastic. 878 00:47:15,520 --> 00:47:18,560 Speaker 1: So this is a prime example. And everyone's guilty of 879 00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:20,320 Speaker 1: this kind of stuff. By the way, I'm guilty of 880 00:47:20,400 --> 00:47:23,759 Speaker 1: being Andrew Is. We could all be kept. But this, 881 00:47:24,160 --> 00:47:25,880 Speaker 1: I bet so many of you are guilty of this. 882 00:47:26,520 --> 00:47:29,800 Speaker 1: If you on Facebook, someone makes an announcement right of 883 00:47:29,880 --> 00:47:33,319 Speaker 1: like we're pregnant, right and you comment underneath it, I'm 884 00:47:33,360 --> 00:47:36,200 Speaker 1: so glad you're finally telling people I was dying. I 885 00:47:36,280 --> 00:47:39,880 Speaker 1: couldn't get the secret. You are telling everyone else that 886 00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:42,200 Speaker 1: sees your comment that I'm closer friends with this girl 887 00:47:42,280 --> 00:47:45,759 Speaker 1: than you are. Ye. The only reason you're commenting that 888 00:47:45,880 --> 00:47:48,000 Speaker 1: is because you want people to know, Like that's the 889 00:47:48,120 --> 00:47:51,399 Speaker 1: definition of if you're doing something so that the main 890 00:47:51,600 --> 00:47:56,000 Speaker 1: reason is people thinking you are better than them, then 891 00:47:56,200 --> 00:47:59,400 Speaker 1: you are And it is not a humble brag. It 892 00:48:00,120 --> 00:48:02,000 Speaker 1: can be humble brags, which is coined by my late 893 00:48:02,080 --> 00:48:06,200 Speaker 1: friend Harris Whittles, because can be just straight up brags. 894 00:48:06,560 --> 00:48:11,080 Speaker 1: But most of the time because are you know, ensconced 895 00:48:11,200 --> 00:48:16,279 Speaker 1: in this like faue sincerity or just like this like accidental, 896 00:48:16,400 --> 00:48:18,960 Speaker 1: like I didn't even mean to do that? Yeah, can ye? 897 00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:23,680 Speaker 1: Can't you tell people how to spell ki okay? So 898 00:48:23,920 --> 00:48:27,640 Speaker 1: when they write it's not perfect like in terms of it. 899 00:48:27,760 --> 00:48:30,799 Speaker 1: Really it's like there's a brand, actually a clothing called 900 00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:33,719 Speaker 1: kul and it's k u h L and I think 901 00:48:33,760 --> 00:48:35,840 Speaker 1: that's probably phonetically how it should be spelled, But in 902 00:48:35,960 --> 00:48:38,640 Speaker 1: high school, for some reason, we thought it was ceo 903 00:48:39,040 --> 00:48:43,480 Speaker 1: apostrophe uhl kul And that's just how it's spelled to 904 00:48:43,640 --> 00:48:46,280 Speaker 1: us my friends from high school. Shout out to Kirsten 905 00:48:46,520 --> 00:48:49,880 Speaker 1: Halla and Taylor who did the voiceover for the intro. 906 00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:52,880 Speaker 1: But please send in your cuz it's called collection of 907 00:48:52,960 --> 00:48:55,640 Speaker 1: cuz we'll be doing it up at least monthly. And 908 00:48:55,719 --> 00:48:58,440 Speaker 1: I can't read to read your specific cause that you 909 00:48:58,560 --> 00:49:01,160 Speaker 1: witness in your life or maybe you've done yourself, So 910 00:49:01,280 --> 00:49:04,520 Speaker 1: send those into uh the Nicki Glazer Podcast at gmail 911 00:49:04,560 --> 00:49:10,160 Speaker 1: dot com. Final thought for the show, Andrew, I want 912 00:49:10,239 --> 00:49:14,120 Speaker 1: to announce what we're calling our listeners. Is it going 913 00:49:14,200 --> 00:49:17,640 Speaker 1: to be kit? It's not kid at all because it's 914 00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:20,759 Speaker 1: very sincere and it's something that I was reluctant to 915 00:49:20,840 --> 00:49:24,480 Speaker 1: do because it, to me didn't sound special enough. No, 916 00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:27,680 Speaker 1: you already know it. What are you doing? No, that 917 00:49:27,800 --> 00:49:30,120 Speaker 1: was kid because you were giving me We were making 918 00:49:30,160 --> 00:49:32,600 Speaker 1: listeners think we were doing something organic, but it wasn't. 919 00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:38,120 Speaker 1: That was definitely kid. That was kis. No, you're you're you're. 920 00:49:38,440 --> 00:49:40,680 Speaker 1: If we were to lie and pretend like we didn't 921 00:49:40,719 --> 00:49:44,000 Speaker 1: know and then I enter, then it would be kitt. 922 00:49:44,360 --> 00:49:47,640 Speaker 1: You know what's the opposite of ki honesty? So honestly, 923 00:49:47,680 --> 00:49:51,320 Speaker 1: we've already take a conversation. We got the suggestion from Noah. 924 00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:53,840 Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Noah. We got a lot of 925 00:49:53,880 --> 00:49:59,680 Speaker 1: suggestions for names. People are like glaze heads, glazer beams, swells, 926 00:50:00,480 --> 00:50:05,920 Speaker 1: uh donuts, nick clicks, nick wits donuts for like glazed donuts. 927 00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:08,560 Speaker 1: Thank you so much. To Matt Wilson, Becky Cooper, Timothy 928 00:50:08,760 --> 00:50:12,160 Speaker 1: shaw Shave for sending in your suggestions. We got tons 929 00:50:12,200 --> 00:50:15,759 Speaker 1: of others, and what we're settling on is and no, 930 00:50:15,840 --> 00:50:18,160 Speaker 1: what will you explain the reasoning behind this? Because I'm 931 00:50:18,560 --> 00:50:20,840 Speaker 1: sometimes these shows fly by and I don't even know 932 00:50:21,000 --> 00:50:23,680 Speaker 1: where the inside jokes started? Can you? Can you tell 933 00:50:23,719 --> 00:50:28,080 Speaker 1: me what it is and then where the origin? I 934 00:50:28,200 --> 00:50:33,880 Speaker 1: think the best name for our listeners would be best friends. Okay, 935 00:50:34,080 --> 00:50:38,320 Speaker 1: tell me why, because you've talked about in a previous 936 00:50:38,400 --> 00:50:42,920 Speaker 1: episode about how you have friends all over and you 937 00:50:43,040 --> 00:50:45,359 Speaker 1: have a lot of best friends, and the people who 938 00:50:45,440 --> 00:50:47,960 Speaker 1: listen to this show are going to get to know 939 00:50:48,080 --> 00:50:53,239 Speaker 1: you on a best friend level. Yes, it's perfect. So 940 00:50:53,560 --> 00:50:55,600 Speaker 1: when you are at a show of ours and you 941 00:50:56,120 --> 00:50:57,560 Speaker 1: meet and greet and you want to tell me that 942 00:50:57,600 --> 00:50:59,399 Speaker 1: you're listening to the podcast, you can be like, I'm 943 00:50:59,440 --> 00:51:02,839 Speaker 1: a best friend. We can if you write into the show, 944 00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:04,840 Speaker 1: you can now call if you are listening to this 945 00:51:04,880 --> 00:51:07,239 Speaker 1: show right now, you are a best friend because you 946 00:51:07,360 --> 00:51:10,280 Speaker 1: are in a conversation with three people who are talking 947 00:51:10,360 --> 00:51:12,600 Speaker 1: to each other like best friends. I talk to my 948 00:51:12,640 --> 00:51:15,120 Speaker 1: listeners like best friends, and I really am giving a 949 00:51:15,200 --> 00:51:18,160 Speaker 1: part of myself on this podcast that I wouldn't really 950 00:51:18,280 --> 00:51:22,480 Speaker 1: give to any other medium that I make entertainment. And 951 00:51:22,960 --> 00:51:25,239 Speaker 1: and I just feel closer to the people listening to 952 00:51:25,239 --> 00:51:27,959 Speaker 1: this podcast than literally anyone who listens to my stand 953 00:51:28,040 --> 00:51:31,520 Speaker 1: up and not because it's just you know, because it's 954 00:51:31,520 --> 00:51:34,040 Speaker 1: more casual and I'm here with people that make me 955 00:51:34,080 --> 00:51:37,360 Speaker 1: feel that comfortable. And I believe you two also conduct 956 00:51:37,400 --> 00:51:40,399 Speaker 1: yourselves on this podcast like you would with your best friends. Yeah. 957 00:51:40,440 --> 00:51:43,799 Speaker 1: I feel like, if anything, we're probably more upfront than 958 00:51:43,840 --> 00:51:46,560 Speaker 1: I am with even my best friends from high school, 959 00:51:46,600 --> 00:51:49,000 Speaker 1: who I would just you know, maybe slap their dick 960 00:51:49,120 --> 00:51:53,480 Speaker 1: and be like, I get actually anxious when my actual 961 00:51:53,560 --> 00:51:55,800 Speaker 1: friends say they listen to this podcast because I'm like, 962 00:51:56,239 --> 00:51:58,920 Speaker 1: I'm too vulnerable. I haven't told you guys these things yet, 963 00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:01,440 Speaker 1: and I'd rather my listeners know them and not you. 964 00:52:01,680 --> 00:52:05,520 Speaker 1: So truly, you guys are like your your best friends, 965 00:52:05,840 --> 00:52:08,239 Speaker 1: and and that's what we're going to call you. And 966 00:52:08,280 --> 00:52:09,800 Speaker 1: I hope you like it. And Noah, thank you so 967 00:52:09,880 --> 00:52:12,480 Speaker 1: much for the suggestion. I love it, and it just 968 00:52:13,120 --> 00:52:16,000 Speaker 1: it's moms my heart. I'm not only the producer of 969 00:52:16,080 --> 00:52:20,000 Speaker 1: this show, I'm also a listener, so that's a good point. Also, 970 00:52:20,080 --> 00:52:24,399 Speaker 1: a client yeah, what do you mean. It's like, I'm 971 00:52:24,440 --> 00:52:29,239 Speaker 1: not only uh, the owner of hair club prom but yes, yeah, yeah, 972 00:52:29,320 --> 00:52:32,759 Speaker 1: yeah's he like, I mean, look, that's putting your money 973 00:52:32,760 --> 00:52:34,680 Speaker 1: where your mouth is. I guess that guy would. Yeah, 974 00:52:34,760 --> 00:52:37,960 Speaker 1: Para Silton too with her own perfume, like none of these. 975 00:52:38,239 --> 00:52:42,399 Speaker 1: Last night I saw an ad for and Jennifer Ranson 976 00:52:42,400 --> 00:52:45,080 Speaker 1: has his new ad that's very triggering for Vital Proteins, 977 00:52:45,120 --> 00:52:48,000 Speaker 1: which is this kind of you know, different vitamins and 978 00:52:48,960 --> 00:52:52,080 Speaker 1: it triggering to you, yeah, because she's just like perfect 979 00:52:52,160 --> 00:52:53,920 Speaker 1: in it and doing all these yoga poses and it's 980 00:52:53,960 --> 00:52:56,360 Speaker 1: just like focusing on different parts of her body and 981 00:52:57,040 --> 00:52:59,560 Speaker 1: it's pretty much like, if you drink this stuff, you 982 00:52:59,719 --> 00:53:01,640 Speaker 1: will will be inspired to work out as much as 983 00:53:01,680 --> 00:53:03,320 Speaker 1: innocent you will be. You will look like her, you 984 00:53:03,360 --> 00:53:05,400 Speaker 1: will have her hair. And it's just such bullshit. And 985 00:53:05,440 --> 00:53:08,640 Speaker 1: I do think she does drink Vital Proteins, but most 986 00:53:08,680 --> 00:53:11,320 Speaker 1: celebrities don't really use the things they endorse because the 987 00:53:11,360 --> 00:53:14,000 Speaker 1: things they endorse are sold at like Walmart, which I'm 988 00:53:14,040 --> 00:53:16,839 Speaker 1: sure I had a great joke about her with her 989 00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:19,799 Speaker 1: skincaracter vino stuff. It's just and I think I said 990 00:53:19,840 --> 00:53:21,640 Speaker 1: other podcasts the other day. It's just like she would 991 00:53:21,719 --> 00:53:24,480 Speaker 1: never use a Veno products, Jennifer Aniston does, so let's 992 00:53:24,520 --> 00:53:27,440 Speaker 1: stop falling for the stuff. But yeah, if you were 993 00:53:27,520 --> 00:53:31,480 Speaker 1: selling me like baby foreskin in a cream form for 994 00:53:31,600 --> 00:53:34,480 Speaker 1: like nine hundred dollars, I would believe you, Jennifer, you 995 00:53:34,560 --> 00:53:36,319 Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like, yes, like if you were 996 00:53:36,440 --> 00:53:39,839 Speaker 1: using the blood of babies that no one else can get. Yep, 997 00:53:40,200 --> 00:53:43,680 Speaker 1: you know there's something something they're using, but you know 998 00:53:43,840 --> 00:53:49,080 Speaker 1: there is Like I'd rather them sell something that I 999 00:53:49,160 --> 00:53:52,000 Speaker 1: actually think that they might use than like something that's 1000 00:53:52,120 --> 00:53:55,719 Speaker 1: obviously so that they don't believe in. Yeah, I mean 1001 00:53:55,800 --> 00:53:59,000 Speaker 1: it happens all the time. Where my prime example was 1002 00:53:59,160 --> 00:54:02,880 Speaker 1: Adam Levine had a line of women's clothing at Kmart 1003 00:54:03,239 --> 00:54:07,080 Speaker 1: what and it was all advertised like Adam Levine thinks 1004 00:54:07,160 --> 00:54:09,800 Speaker 1: women who dressed and this kind of clothes are cool 1005 00:54:10,040 --> 00:54:14,279 Speaker 1: and hot. And it's like he wouldn't he'd They're like, 1006 00:54:14,520 --> 00:54:17,080 Speaker 1: Adam Mlevine will fuck you if you wear these jeans 1007 00:54:17,160 --> 00:54:23,160 Speaker 1: made in China by let Out. Yeah exactly, NOA Levine 1008 00:54:23,239 --> 00:54:25,200 Speaker 1: not only wouldn't fuck you if you shop a Kymart, 1009 00:54:25,239 --> 00:54:27,719 Speaker 1: he wouldn't. He would probably spit on you. So if 1010 00:54:27,760 --> 00:54:32,800 Speaker 1: that's what you like? It was the most just is 1011 00:54:32,880 --> 00:54:35,520 Speaker 1: that what the clothes come with his spit? I mean 1012 00:54:35,640 --> 00:54:38,880 Speaker 1: that would be worth it. Do you know what I drank? Uh? 1013 00:54:39,800 --> 00:54:42,600 Speaker 1: One time I drank John Mayer's backwash? What did it 1014 00:54:42,680 --> 00:54:47,640 Speaker 1: taste like? Water bottle? Do you feel like? How long 1015 00:54:47,760 --> 00:54:50,520 Speaker 1: did you have that water? In high school? By the way, 1016 00:54:50,560 --> 00:54:52,120 Speaker 1: you guys, I went to go see John Mayer at 1017 00:54:52,120 --> 00:54:54,360 Speaker 1: a very small venue. It was before it was like 1018 00:54:54,480 --> 00:54:56,600 Speaker 1: after his first release and he wasn't a big deal. 1019 00:54:56,640 --> 00:54:58,720 Speaker 1: It was at Mississippi Nights and sat me and my friends, 1020 00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:01,600 Speaker 1: this isn't kase. We grabbed a water bottle from the 1021 00:55:01,640 --> 00:55:03,560 Speaker 1: stage up of the show and all chugged it, like 1022 00:55:05,080 --> 00:55:07,120 Speaker 1: uged it. You know. There was like, you know, a 1023 00:55:07,120 --> 00:55:09,000 Speaker 1: couple steps stuff. We all took not chugged it, but 1024 00:55:09,040 --> 00:55:10,320 Speaker 1: we all took a sip and then we were like, 1025 00:55:10,600 --> 00:55:12,759 Speaker 1: we made out with John Mayer. And then we also 1026 00:55:12,840 --> 00:55:16,040 Speaker 1: touched at that same venue, we touched Adam Dirrets. No, 1027 00:55:16,120 --> 00:55:18,480 Speaker 1: this was a different venue. We touched Adam Dirretts. He 1028 00:55:18,680 --> 00:55:20,960 Speaker 1: like grabbed our hand and so when we went home, 1029 00:55:21,040 --> 00:55:23,400 Speaker 1: we took masking tape and took the fingerprints that it 1030 00:55:23,680 --> 00:55:27,120 Speaker 1: had his fingers on them and we put we took 1031 00:55:27,200 --> 00:55:29,400 Speaker 1: tape and like collected the fingerprints and then put them 1032 00:55:29,440 --> 00:55:32,000 Speaker 1: on a postcard and we're like, that's Adam Dirt's DNA. 1033 00:55:32,360 --> 00:55:35,000 Speaker 1: Oh my god, we're obsessed. And we also stole how 1034 00:55:35,040 --> 00:55:37,560 Speaker 1: We Dazed Sweat Rag and we all like we cut 1035 00:55:37,600 --> 00:55:41,360 Speaker 1: it up into like bandana strips and ate it. No, 1036 00:55:42,160 --> 00:55:44,279 Speaker 1: but I used to love concerts. I love that you 1037 00:55:44,320 --> 00:55:46,319 Speaker 1: always split it with your girlfriends though it was such 1038 00:55:46,320 --> 00:55:49,239 Speaker 1: a probably bonding experience for you girl, Oh my god. 1039 00:55:49,280 --> 00:55:51,480 Speaker 1: We were just so we were so horny for these 1040 00:55:51,560 --> 00:55:54,160 Speaker 1: guys and they made music that just made us feel 1041 00:55:54,560 --> 00:55:57,759 Speaker 1: like like we we all weren't like getting action and 1042 00:55:57,920 --> 00:55:59,640 Speaker 1: like it was just you know, I was just a 1043 00:55:59,680 --> 00:56:02,960 Speaker 1: fan size about like making out with these boys, and 1044 00:56:03,000 --> 00:56:05,520 Speaker 1: then I would get to like get so close to 1045 00:56:05,600 --> 00:56:08,280 Speaker 1: them and yeah, which you do now, which is wild 1046 00:56:08,480 --> 00:56:11,279 Speaker 1: because your life has gotten to the point where you 1047 00:56:11,840 --> 00:56:16,799 Speaker 1: dm with John Mayer, you speak on Dave Matthew's uh 1048 00:56:17,600 --> 00:56:21,719 Speaker 1: you know, serious channel, like like it all came. Yeah, 1049 00:56:21,840 --> 00:56:26,040 Speaker 1: the idea to that, like I'm I have John Mayer's 1050 00:56:26,120 --> 00:56:29,080 Speaker 1: number or whatever is not lost on me. There's times 1051 00:56:29,120 --> 00:56:31,080 Speaker 1: where I would like to tell him my drink your 1052 00:56:31,120 --> 00:56:35,440 Speaker 1: backwash and stuff. But yeah, no, it's that's but I'm 1053 00:56:35,480 --> 00:56:38,279 Speaker 1: still that girl. That's like, I love people who I 1054 00:56:38,320 --> 00:56:40,120 Speaker 1: can get to know through their art and like have 1055 00:56:40,280 --> 00:56:43,040 Speaker 1: crushes on them. And the other day some guys asked me, like, 1056 00:56:43,200 --> 00:56:45,120 Speaker 1: who's your celebrity crush? I never even know what to say. 1057 00:56:45,200 --> 00:56:47,160 Speaker 1: Now I always had an answer, and now I don't. 1058 00:56:47,480 --> 00:56:49,520 Speaker 1: The world is my oyster. I'm just kidding. I can't 1059 00:56:49,560 --> 00:56:53,600 Speaker 1: even get Matt James to read a DM. He read it, Yeah, 1060 00:56:53,800 --> 00:56:57,160 Speaker 1: he just didn't accept it. But I look, I love 1061 00:56:57,239 --> 00:56:59,120 Speaker 1: the fact that you were so in the concerts and 1062 00:56:59,160 --> 00:57:01,080 Speaker 1: I think, I know you don't even recognize that person 1063 00:57:01,600 --> 00:57:03,319 Speaker 1: when we get out of here. Though, when we get 1064 00:57:03,320 --> 00:57:07,920 Speaker 1: out of maybe we'll go to two, next two in 1065 00:57:08,000 --> 00:57:10,759 Speaker 1: the next ten years, who knows? I mean, who were 1066 00:57:10,800 --> 00:57:13,440 Speaker 1: the really hilarious tweet yesterday from Caleb Sign and that 1067 00:57:13,560 --> 00:57:15,719 Speaker 1: was like, I can't wait till COVID's over and I 1068 00:57:15,800 --> 00:57:18,840 Speaker 1: can go back to seeing one concert every ten months. 1069 00:57:20,720 --> 00:57:23,760 Speaker 1: Who would you see? Who was who? If you could 1070 00:57:23,800 --> 00:57:26,520 Speaker 1: pick anyone that even now as an adult, where you 1071 00:57:26,600 --> 00:57:28,840 Speaker 1: could be front row and you could get their sweat 1072 00:57:28,920 --> 00:57:33,800 Speaker 1: on you be swifty, obviously it wouldn't be a guy. No, No, 1073 00:57:34,800 --> 00:57:36,200 Speaker 1: because I want to go to a concert where I 1074 00:57:36,280 --> 00:57:39,560 Speaker 1: know every fucking song. And that's the only person right 1075 00:57:39,600 --> 00:57:41,680 Speaker 1: now who I know every goddamn song. What about you, 1076 00:57:41,960 --> 00:57:46,600 Speaker 1: Tom Petty not dead alive? Right, You wouldn't do like 1077 00:57:46,680 --> 00:57:49,440 Speaker 1: a weekend at Bernie's Tom Petty concert. Honestly, it was 1078 00:57:49,520 --> 00:57:52,280 Speaker 1: pretty much the last show I saw. It was close 1079 00:57:52,360 --> 00:57:54,360 Speaker 1: to that, yeah, because it was a month before he 1080 00:57:54,400 --> 00:57:57,480 Speaker 1: passed away. Shadow Petty and the heartbreak is it great? 1081 00:57:59,400 --> 00:58:02,560 Speaker 1: It it is za for me. I know you know 1082 00:58:02,760 --> 00:58:04,640 Speaker 1: every you don't even realize you know every word to 1083 00:58:04,720 --> 00:58:07,640 Speaker 1: all his songs and you can sing every word and 1084 00:58:07,720 --> 00:58:10,720 Speaker 1: everyone's so together, and it's just I fucking I love 1085 00:58:10,800 --> 00:58:14,480 Speaker 1: Tom Petty and it's very sad that he passed away. 1086 00:58:14,680 --> 00:58:17,880 Speaker 1: And No, I honestly thought about Taylor Swift dying the 1087 00:58:17,960 --> 00:58:20,640 Speaker 1: other day and I started almost crying. I don't know 1088 00:58:20,840 --> 00:58:23,960 Speaker 1: what I'll do when I can't. Sometimes when I was 1089 00:58:24,040 --> 00:58:27,000 Speaker 1: really like sad over the summer and like honestly like 1090 00:58:27,120 --> 00:58:29,400 Speaker 1: suicidal at times, not like wasn't going to do anything, 1091 00:58:29,480 --> 00:58:31,440 Speaker 1: but like was like I just want to die. The 1092 00:58:31,600 --> 00:58:34,040 Speaker 1: idea that I would miss her next album and a 1093 00:58:34,120 --> 00:58:36,160 Speaker 1: song that could make me feel. The things that our 1094 00:58:36,200 --> 00:58:39,040 Speaker 1: songs make me feel gave me reason to keep living, 1095 00:58:39,080 --> 00:58:41,760 Speaker 1: and I know that sounds crazy. Also, other things are 1096 00:58:41,840 --> 00:58:43,960 Speaker 1: like season two of Love on the Spectrum. I don't 1097 00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:46,120 Speaker 1: want to miss that. These are all things that, like, 1098 00:58:46,160 --> 00:58:48,040 Speaker 1: I don't want to die because they might I might 1099 00:58:48,120 --> 00:58:50,560 Speaker 1: miss these things. But Taylor Swift's music is honestly something 1100 00:58:50,680 --> 00:58:53,360 Speaker 1: that like gives me reason to keep going when I 1101 00:58:53,720 --> 00:58:56,200 Speaker 1: am most depressed. Isn't that so sad? And it's not 1102 00:58:56,280 --> 00:58:58,560 Speaker 1: like seeing my niece grow up? All right, guys, we 1103 00:58:58,600 --> 00:59:02,120 Speaker 1: gotta go. Thanks for listening today. You guys are our 1104 00:59:02,160 --> 00:59:03,720 Speaker 1: best friends and we love you so much. We'll be 1105 00:59:03,800 --> 00:59:06,080 Speaker 1: back tomorrow to round out the week. By No m 1106 00:59:06,320 --> 00:59:09,240 Speaker 1: best friend He can't