1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:11,720 Speaker 1: The Nicky Glazer Podcast. Nick Here's Nikki. Hello here, I 2 00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:16,479 Speaker 1: am welcome to the show, The Nicky Glazer Podcast, starting 3 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:19,680 Speaker 1: week Got Fresh. It's Tuesday, guys, welcome to the show. 4 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:24,560 Speaker 1: On your marinas here gorgeous lipstick on? Is that a 5 00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:32,319 Speaker 1: new color one? Hyper? I saw you had some new 6 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:36,640 Speaker 1: lipstick ease on Tournay's Weekend. How do you put them out? 7 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:40,360 Speaker 1: Do you order them online? Do you go desperation? Right? 8 00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:42,000 Speaker 1: But like where do you go? Like? How do you 9 00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:46,160 Speaker 1: know crying are hard to um? You just show crying 10 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:48,639 Speaker 1: on a Sephora Believe it or not. These are hand 11 00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:51,919 Speaker 1: me downs from Kate Walsh. I just get stuff from 12 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:54,520 Speaker 1: my celebrity friends. I have to you and Kate, when 13 00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:57,880 Speaker 1: did she um like give that? Like? Were you just 14 00:00:57,960 --> 00:00:59,680 Speaker 1: over at her house and she's like, here's my lipstick 15 00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:02,880 Speaker 1: straw grow She's like, I got sent all this ship 16 00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:04,360 Speaker 1: do you want it? And she gave me a huge 17 00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:07,119 Speaker 1: box of stuff which I have made last I think 18 00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:09,679 Speaker 1: three and a half years, but I got hooked on 19 00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:13,720 Speaker 1: this one. It's Anastasia and it's soft pink. People ask 20 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:15,560 Speaker 1: me about this all the time. I'm not one of 21 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:17,840 Speaker 1: those girls. Actually, I am one of those girls that 22 00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:20,560 Speaker 1: hates giving my secrets away. But I'm telling you now 23 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,760 Speaker 1: because I want this is the best lipstick soft pink 24 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:29,000 Speaker 1: secrets away. That's why I never trust people who give 25 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:31,760 Speaker 1: their secrets away, because it's not really their secret unless 26 00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:35,480 Speaker 1: it's me telling you the plant squalling, ordinary, plant squally. 27 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:38,280 Speaker 1: Do not buy it on Amazon. Do not. I made 28 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:42,760 Speaker 1: the mistake this weekend rumors that buying skincare on Amazon 29 00:01:42,959 --> 00:01:45,479 Speaker 1: you get sometimes they have the bottles, but then they'll 30 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:48,680 Speaker 1: put different stuff in it that's cheap. But I only 31 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:50,680 Speaker 1: thought that would be for high end products. You know, 32 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:55,240 Speaker 1: your drunk elephants, your or e bays. I don't know 33 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:57,880 Speaker 1: whatever the funk is, like over twenty dollars for a 34 00:01:57,920 --> 00:02:01,120 Speaker 1: thing mine seven fifty for a little thing five dollars before. 35 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:02,480 Speaker 1: I don't even know why I went to Amazon. I 36 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:04,680 Speaker 1: paid ten. It was in a bundle, and I paid 37 00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:07,520 Speaker 1: twenty for it, so I go, oh, it's more it arrives. 38 00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:09,720 Speaker 1: I've been using this stuff for over five years. I 39 00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:12,920 Speaker 1: know what the consistency is, and this was gelatinous and 40 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:16,200 Speaker 1: the real consistency is more water. And I'm like, I 41 00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:18,720 Speaker 1: got screwed, So do not buy your skincare on Amazon. 42 00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:20,760 Speaker 1: Do not buy your skincare on Amazon. Do not buy 43 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:24,079 Speaker 1: your skincare on Amazon. They are repackaging it with cheaper shit. 44 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:27,320 Speaker 1: And it's like, and you think that why would they 45 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:29,040 Speaker 1: do that for a five dollar thing? How much more 46 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:32,920 Speaker 1: money could they save by it's five dollars, But they do, 47 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:35,480 Speaker 1: And I wrote an angry review. It's the first review 48 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:38,079 Speaker 1: I've ever written on Amazon or anything, because people, did 49 00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:41,680 Speaker 1: you say, I just said this product. I've heard rumors 50 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:43,839 Speaker 1: of this happening, and this is a percent happening because 51 00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:46,920 Speaker 1: I've used this product forever. The packaging is exactly the same, 52 00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:49,359 Speaker 1: down to the cardboard box. The little thing comes in, 53 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:53,240 Speaker 1: but inside it is not the product. And it made 54 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:55,280 Speaker 1: me mad because this is my number one product. And 55 00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:57,800 Speaker 1: I just imagine someone has the chance to find this 56 00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:00,320 Speaker 1: project product and it for to change of life the 57 00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:02,200 Speaker 1: way it did me. And if I would have brought 58 00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:03,919 Speaker 1: bought this product for the first time from Amazon, I 59 00:03:03,919 --> 00:03:05,639 Speaker 1: would never use it again, and I would still be 60 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:09,280 Speaker 1: wearing night creams that are eighty dollars that don't absorb anything. 61 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:12,120 Speaker 1: And this is five It's changed my life. So do 62 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:13,920 Speaker 1: not buy it from Amazon, and buy it from Sephora. 63 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:22,320 Speaker 1: It's super cheap. Again, it's the ordinary plant squalling. The 64 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:27,120 Speaker 1: ordinary is the best skin care stuff. It's clean, it's cheap, 65 00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:31,960 Speaker 1: and it's simple. Um, I just love it. But yeah, 66 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:36,280 Speaker 1: that and then Anastasia light Rose, What the hell is 67 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:42,240 Speaker 1: soft pink? And it's Matt Yeah. Well, your your ideal 68 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:44,120 Speaker 1: shade for your lips is the color of your nipple. 69 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:53,680 Speaker 1: Now I'm guessing yours are like translucent, a little like pink. Yeah, 70 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:56,520 Speaker 1: because we have the same kind of skin tone. I 71 00:03:56,520 --> 00:04:00,240 Speaker 1: guess I've never seen so many times I thought years 72 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,800 Speaker 1: are perfect and kind of like a brownie thing. They 73 00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:05,360 Speaker 1: can't be brown sometimes, but then when they're like not, 74 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:09,440 Speaker 1: they're like more pink. Like when they're harder, they get 75 00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:13,200 Speaker 1: brown because they condense. They can hear this, they do 76 00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:15,760 Speaker 1: the skin condenses. I bet men's balls do the same 77 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:18,160 Speaker 1: thing when you're cold and it contracts your ball or 78 00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:21,880 Speaker 1: gets probably darker. Um. Almost, like I just gonna say 79 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:26,279 Speaker 1: about tits. You want to say that, Um to toot 80 00:04:26,279 --> 00:04:32,839 Speaker 1: my own tits. I was doing a I can't do 81 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:34,960 Speaker 1: it that was on his voice. By the way, due 82 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:40,880 Speaker 1: left it. Here's the right one. That's so good. That's 83 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:44,080 Speaker 1: so good. My stylist Danny and Emma. They do a 84 00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:46,320 Speaker 1: lot of celebrities. And the other day when we were 85 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:49,720 Speaker 1: fitting for the Critic's Choice Awards and Chris was there, 86 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:52,840 Speaker 1: they did me a favorite. I don't even know they 87 00:04:52,839 --> 00:04:54,320 Speaker 1: did it because Chris was there, but they were like, 88 00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:57,679 Speaker 1: because my tips were like falling out of this one dress, 89 00:04:57,760 --> 00:04:59,360 Speaker 1: I like bent over and they just both came out 90 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:00,839 Speaker 1: and like, guys, this isn't gonna work. I was like 91 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:02,599 Speaker 1: fastening my shoe and they both came out and I 92 00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:06,359 Speaker 1: came back up and I'm like, they're both out. Like 93 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:08,800 Speaker 1: it was like I was like a woman in a 94 00:05:08,839 --> 00:05:10,800 Speaker 1: tribe who was like feeding her child, you know, when 95 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:12,200 Speaker 1: the kid just like takes it to that, Like it 96 00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:15,360 Speaker 1: was so that it was address made for that and 97 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:19,120 Speaker 1: so um when they Emma was like somewhere one of 98 00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:21,880 Speaker 1: my friends just asked me recently, who of all our 99 00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:24,599 Speaker 1: clients is the best boobs And I was hands down 100 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:28,279 Speaker 1: you And I was like, are you serious? Like she 101 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:30,760 Speaker 1: was like that is so she. I was like that, 102 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:33,279 Speaker 1: I don't even care if I want to quit Critic's 103 00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:36,599 Speaker 1: Choice Awards. You've seen so many famous they Jessica help 104 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:38,560 Speaker 1: us tits, you know, I don't know if she saw it, 105 00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:40,520 Speaker 1: because that day they had to brock paper centers because 106 00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:42,120 Speaker 1: they either had to work with me or Jessica Albas, 107 00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:43,479 Speaker 1: so one of them had to take each of them. 108 00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:45,279 Speaker 1: And I gotta be honest, they were hoping to get 109 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:47,640 Speaker 1: me because I'm a good hang and they didn't know 110 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:49,560 Speaker 1: Alba ended up being great, but they were like, she 111 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:52,520 Speaker 1: could be fucking hard to deal with because guess what, 112 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:56,080 Speaker 1: most celebrities are not that pleasant of people. The higher 113 00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:59,640 Speaker 1: up you go, you're kind of an asshole. I'm just 114 00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:03,159 Speaker 1: tired of it, tired of hearing stories about successful people 115 00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:08,640 Speaker 1: being jerks, beloved people that you love. It's not just Ellen. 116 00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:11,960 Speaker 1: This is the thing, Like, there's so many more Ellen's 117 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:15,040 Speaker 1: people that you love who are just genuinely mean to 118 00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:20,400 Speaker 1: people all the time. What they're famous and what did 119 00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:22,479 Speaker 1: you say? And you hear it. You hear the real 120 00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:25,720 Speaker 1: deal from the style from trainers, you hear it from stylists, 121 00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:29,200 Speaker 1: you hear it from drivers. This is makeup artists. They're 122 00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:31,400 Speaker 1: all talking. A lot of them are like, you know, 123 00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:34,400 Speaker 1: really diplomatic about it, but you ask around and you know, 124 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:36,520 Speaker 1: you know who's country and you know what going dem 125 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:38,560 Speaker 1: want you'll find out there too. You'll find out I 126 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:40,719 Speaker 1: eat a dry salad with lots of pepper, but you 127 00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:43,039 Speaker 1: won't hear I'm a cunt. And if you do, I'm 128 00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:46,720 Speaker 1: telling you they had it coming because I don't treat 129 00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:50,680 Speaker 1: people cruelly, especially people who are waiting on me and 130 00:06:50,839 --> 00:06:53,200 Speaker 1: doing jobs for me, getting paid less to do so 131 00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:55,279 Speaker 1: much more hard work than me just sitting there and 132 00:06:55,320 --> 00:07:00,520 Speaker 1: memorizing some lines. It's just insane to me that um 133 00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:03,520 Speaker 1: that actor that ever actors are talent talent. The word 134 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:05,920 Speaker 1: talent just needs to get out of the fucking door. 135 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:08,719 Speaker 1: That's what we're referred to on set, talents coming through 136 00:07:08,839 --> 00:07:12,160 Speaker 1: talent walking and I'm like, easy, I'm hosting f Boy Island. 137 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:18,080 Speaker 1: It doesn't take that much mediocrity coming through luck, coming 138 00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:24,360 Speaker 1: through her parents for five years when most people's parents 139 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:26,520 Speaker 1: would have pulled out. Otherwise she would be, you know, 140 00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:29,560 Speaker 1: working out the middle school right now, coming through that's 141 00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:32,200 Speaker 1: what they should do, like all your former credits, former 142 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:37,720 Speaker 1: substitute teacher. And it's just the talent. It just makes 143 00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:39,880 Speaker 1: you walk in a room like, oh my god, who 144 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:42,000 Speaker 1: am I? And yeah, you need to have a little confidence. 145 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:44,640 Speaker 1: I recently told Chris, I'm not staying at an Airbnb 146 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:47,720 Speaker 1: in l A. When we go out there, that is 147 00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:51,960 Speaker 1: a place where of an affordable place, I'm not doing it. 148 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:55,000 Speaker 1: I had a good year. I want to be somewhere 149 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:57,080 Speaker 1: that makes me feel nice. I want to be in luxury. 150 00:07:57,440 --> 00:07:59,880 Speaker 1: It sucks that to have a nice place an it's 151 00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:01,960 Speaker 1: like eight hundred dollars a fucking night. And I know 152 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,720 Speaker 1: that that is horrifying to some people, and they're like, Nikki, 153 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:07,000 Speaker 1: you're you couldn't be more out of touch. I know, 154 00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:11,040 Speaker 1: but I don't want to feel like I'm roughing it 155 00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:14,520 Speaker 1: anymore because it really depresses me. And even if like 156 00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:17,080 Speaker 1: like we said, in a really nice place, but it 157 00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:20,360 Speaker 1: was so expensive, but it was not super nice, but 158 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:23,560 Speaker 1: it was so expensive in Santa Monica, you like on 159 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:26,200 Speaker 1: like a homeless encampment. It's like, you know, you gotta 160 00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:28,360 Speaker 1: pay up. What what do you like to have? Like 161 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:30,400 Speaker 1: what is it? Because you said that it doesn't make 162 00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:39,760 Speaker 1: you feel good? Walls, nice decor, tasteful, like space clean, textured. 163 00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:44,240 Speaker 1: She wants textured wall, my friend, Sea, I want I 164 00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:46,320 Speaker 1: want things to be nice. I don't want pictures of 165 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:49,200 Speaker 1: like you know that you got it um home good 166 00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:52,640 Speaker 1: home goods of like a beach setting. I don't care 167 00:08:52,679 --> 00:08:54,120 Speaker 1: what it is, but I just want some taste and 168 00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:56,800 Speaker 1: I want I want space, and I want to not 169 00:08:57,280 --> 00:08:59,160 Speaker 1: be I want to be able to sing really loud 170 00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:01,240 Speaker 1: and not have the name first complain. I want that, 171 00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:03,960 Speaker 1: and I want I just want to feel like a 172 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:11,240 Speaker 1: little bit special sex. No, we're not having sex right now, 173 00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:13,520 Speaker 1: are you kidding me? We're both so busy. This is 174 00:09:13,559 --> 00:09:15,760 Speaker 1: not it's not happening. I just need to whale Taylor 175 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:19,000 Speaker 1: Soft songs about how not having sex. No, I am 176 00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:21,559 Speaker 1: set to fine, don't you worry about it? But um no, 177 00:09:21,679 --> 00:09:23,880 Speaker 1: it's not. We're not having screaming sex anymore. I have 178 00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:30,000 Speaker 1: to remember I was on just Thing for the new 179 00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:36,280 Speaker 1: Soft franchise. Is one of the torture scenes. Um no, 180 00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:38,920 Speaker 1: it's I just want. I just want to feel nice. 181 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:41,800 Speaker 1: But here's the thing that's my like out of touch 182 00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:43,960 Speaker 1: celebrity thing. It's like Nikki needs to stay a place 183 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,959 Speaker 1: that's a thousand dollars a night or whatever the hell 184 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,920 Speaker 1: it's going to cost. But you know what I don't 185 00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:50,840 Speaker 1: need is to treat people badly to make myself feel better. 186 00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:52,920 Speaker 1: And that's what most celebrities do, and they're staying at 187 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,120 Speaker 1: night place nice places. So before you roll your eyes 188 00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:57,680 Speaker 1: at me, which I would too, and be like, you 189 00:09:57,720 --> 00:10:00,000 Speaker 1: really need to stay in a nice place at least 190 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,240 Speaker 1: so I don't want to make people feel bad about 191 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:05,719 Speaker 1: themselves all the time like so many celebrities do. It's 192 00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:07,679 Speaker 1: kind of gross. You don't even want because then you 193 00:10:07,679 --> 00:10:09,480 Speaker 1: have to be friends with these people because they're at 194 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:11,480 Speaker 1: the top, and you have to act like you get 195 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:13,240 Speaker 1: invited to the things they go to, and you have 196 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:16,280 Speaker 1: to like schmooze with them, and then you like, are 197 00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:18,880 Speaker 1: friends with assholes. I don't know. I don't know where 198 00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:20,560 Speaker 1: you draw the line where you're like, I don't really 199 00:10:20,559 --> 00:10:22,160 Speaker 1: want to be friends with you guys, but it would 200 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:24,360 Speaker 1: help my career and then maybe I could get more 201 00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:26,720 Speaker 1: information to ruin you someday when you die and I 202 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:29,640 Speaker 1: write a tell all. That's why I love Kathy Griffin 203 00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:35,040 Speaker 1: No holds. Like, I've been posting this woman who does 204 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:41,319 Speaker 1: dubs over celebrities. Her name is Simon, Simon Tina or something. 205 00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:46,439 Speaker 1: I was watching videos today, How good are they? The 206 00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:48,200 Speaker 1: Gwyneth the one I post? I was like, I only 207 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:51,880 Speaker 1: post Gwyneth when she's being mocked because get her off 208 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:55,880 Speaker 1: your screen. If you were following Goop or Gwyneth, do yourself. 209 00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:59,480 Speaker 1: This is like we should do goopless January. You know 210 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:03,000 Speaker 1: how people are, See how it feels to get Gwyneth 211 00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:06,120 Speaker 1: and all of that bullshit. Any influencer who has a 212 00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:08,800 Speaker 1: green juice, perfect life, get him off your feed and 213 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:11,040 Speaker 1: see how you feel. Drink as much as you want. 214 00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:14,880 Speaker 1: Drink alcohol all you want, January, use drugs. Get those 215 00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:17,200 Speaker 1: people off your feed where you don't see them every day, 216 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:19,640 Speaker 1: and see how it makes you feel. Because it does 217 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:22,439 Speaker 1: feel great. The second I took gwynethan Goop off my feed, 218 00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:25,360 Speaker 1: I don't have to deal with that ship anymore. And 219 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:27,360 Speaker 1: you don't see it. You're not comparing yourself. Maybe you 220 00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:29,079 Speaker 1: guys have less of a problem with it than I do, 221 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:34,200 Speaker 1: but I can't handle it. I don't. Is her name, yes, 222 00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:38,880 Speaker 1: Lisa Timmins. She's so funny. She makes she's me with us, 223 00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:41,200 Speaker 1: like writing like she feels the same way about celebrities 224 00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:43,800 Speaker 1: I do, except she had one about her and I 225 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:46,439 Speaker 1: was like easy, she back away, you back off. Pitch 226 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:52,320 Speaker 1: the things about j Lo applying Bronzer. Oh a little 227 00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:55,640 Speaker 1: melanine is really great, but just the right amount, not 228 00:11:55,760 --> 00:11:58,199 Speaker 1: too much because I want a career. But the one 229 00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:02,360 Speaker 1: with Viola Davis Fiola talking to everyone about all these 230 00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:07,480 Speaker 1: white people about NEPO babies. No, she's talking about just 231 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:11,800 Speaker 1: black people in film and being like it's just so good. 232 00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:15,600 Speaker 1: She's so this woman is so good. So yeah, what's 233 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:19,319 Speaker 1: his name again? Lisa Timmins. Lisa Timmins t I M 234 00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:21,920 Speaker 1: M O N s uh so check her stuff out. 235 00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:26,240 Speaker 1: My nose is bleeding today, what because I just washed 236 00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:28,280 Speaker 1: my face and I forgot to take off my pinky ring. 237 00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:30,040 Speaker 1: I don't know if I think I'm in the mob 238 00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:32,600 Speaker 1: or something why I have a pinking ring. But my 239 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:35,720 Speaker 1: sister bought me like a really expensive, like pair of 240 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:41,320 Speaker 1: pants at this um, what's it called thrift store in 241 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:43,160 Speaker 1: Saint Luniz is really cool thrift store. And they were 242 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:46,200 Speaker 1: like gold and they're really cool to wear on stage 243 00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:48,199 Speaker 1: and she was like, they fit me, so they'll probably 244 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,720 Speaker 1: fit you. Did not fit me, embarrassing whatever, So I 245 00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:53,319 Speaker 1: returned them and this store had nothing I wanted. I mean, 246 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:55,240 Speaker 1: my sister was like, you wait, do you get in 247 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:58,560 Speaker 1: the store every You'll want everything? And I'm like, why 248 00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:01,200 Speaker 1: do you want to dress like a sister wife, like, 249 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,600 Speaker 1: I don't get what's going on. Really, it was all 250 00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:07,640 Speaker 1: like Laura Ashley stuff. No, it was just it just 251 00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:10,120 Speaker 1: wasn't my style. I like my sister and I just 252 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:12,000 Speaker 1: differ in that way. But I found this little gold 253 00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:14,719 Speaker 1: ring that has a um, a J or a P. 254 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:16,679 Speaker 1: I don't know what it has as a signett but 255 00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:19,439 Speaker 1: it fits only on my pinkie and it hooked today 256 00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:21,600 Speaker 1: when I was washing my nose, on my nose and 257 00:13:21,679 --> 00:13:26,560 Speaker 1: ripped the cartilage like horribly and so on my nose outside, 258 00:13:26,559 --> 00:13:30,480 Speaker 1: my nostrils bleeding pretty bad. Um. It made me feel 259 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:33,120 Speaker 1: alive because it hurts. So sometimes you know when you 260 00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:35,280 Speaker 1: hurt yourself, you bang your head and there's no blood 261 00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:39,960 Speaker 1: and you're like, come on, give me something. I just 262 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,000 Speaker 1: suffered so much, no one's gonna be able to tell 263 00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:44,720 Speaker 1: that this was actually painful. I love a little blood. 264 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:46,560 Speaker 1: It's a perfect amount. It looks like a little dot 265 00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:48,960 Speaker 1: like I almost have a piercing there. But I felt 266 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,920 Speaker 1: like that when I slipped and fell on black ice 267 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:55,679 Speaker 1: in Kalamazoo leaving the hotel room, and I felt like 268 00:13:55,679 --> 00:13:58,440 Speaker 1: like an animated character slipping and falling. I was like 269 00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:01,320 Speaker 1: and then like landed on my back and then this 270 00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:04,360 Speaker 1: Pellegrino bottle I watched it in slow motion. It fell 271 00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:07,360 Speaker 1: and then it just shattered all around me. And I 272 00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:09,640 Speaker 1: was like, oh, I hope I have some kind of 273 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:12,040 Speaker 1: cool wound for how much pain and feeling on my 274 00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:14,800 Speaker 1: hand And there's nothing. It was just like I skinned 275 00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:17,439 Speaker 1: my hand but you couldn't see anything. Yeah, it's just 276 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:20,040 Speaker 1: there's like an indent of gravel, but that's it. And 277 00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:22,360 Speaker 1: you're just like it looks like you were just sleeping 278 00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:24,120 Speaker 1: on some gravel and the people are just like, I 279 00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:26,400 Speaker 1: don't have any sympathy for you unless it's bleeding, like 280 00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:31,200 Speaker 1: you need blood to get that simp Um. We were 281 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:36,240 Speaker 1: in Kalamazoo. We were in Juliet, Illinois, like depressing like 282 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:41,400 Speaker 1: Midwest cities cold. I say that as being from a 283 00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:46,120 Speaker 1: depressing Midwest city cold St. Louis. So I'm only I'm 284 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:51,479 Speaker 1: throwing rocks in my cold glass house. I understand that. Um. 285 00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:53,720 Speaker 1: But yeah, we stayed in like kind of shitty hotels 286 00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:57,200 Speaker 1: because there's like no nice hotel. There was a nice 287 00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:59,440 Speaker 1: hotel in Calamazoo. I guess it was really too expensive. 288 00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:01,320 Speaker 1: It's like, you know, if it were just me on 289 00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:02,840 Speaker 1: the road, I'd be staying nice places, but you gotta 290 00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:05,280 Speaker 1: put up you know, for us, it's just two rooms, 291 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:08,240 Speaker 1: so maybe we should bump it up. Anyway. We stayed 292 00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:10,760 Speaker 1: at like places that I would have stayed when I 293 00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:14,560 Speaker 1: was like working in honky Tonks and just like it's fine. 294 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:18,880 Speaker 1: I'm just I don't like when I was literally I 295 00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:22,920 Speaker 1: went to Kalamazoo and probably two thousand five and worked 296 00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:24,800 Speaker 1: at something like sports bar, and then they put you 297 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:27,280 Speaker 1: at the Super eight across and now that's Super eight 298 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:29,880 Speaker 1: is now a home to sweets and it's like a 299 00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:32,920 Speaker 1: little bit. It was nice, things are clean, the staff 300 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:36,600 Speaker 1: was nice. One guy in Kalamazoo, the front desk knew me, 301 00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:42,320 Speaker 1: which is always sweet. But he stayed stay Bridge Sweets. Yeah. 302 00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:45,160 Speaker 1: In Kalamazoo's shout out to Zeke who worked for Death 303 00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:46,920 Speaker 1: or whatever his name is. It was something like Zeke 304 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:49,520 Speaker 1: and he was a fan and he kept trying to 305 00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:51,040 Speaker 1: get my attention and I was just not in the 306 00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:52,360 Speaker 1: mood for it because there were lots of people in 307 00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:53,800 Speaker 1: the lobby. I just didn't want to have a moment. 308 00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:56,240 Speaker 1: I could tell his his comment was going to be inappropriate. 309 00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:58,560 Speaker 1: I could tell but then I went to the gym 310 00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:00,240 Speaker 1: and I forgot my key in the him, so I 311 00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:01,600 Speaker 1: had to go to front desk to ask to get 312 00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:03,360 Speaker 1: let back in the gym, and of course Zeke is 313 00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:05,120 Speaker 1: there and he's like, lets me, and he goes and 314 00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:07,760 Speaker 1: I'm on the phone with my fucking egg freezing doctor. 315 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,560 Speaker 1: As I'm doing it, he's talking to me and I'm like, sorry, 316 00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:10,880 Speaker 1: I'm on the phone. I'm just gonna rush. I need 317 00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:12,200 Speaker 1: to get a key. I'm sorry. I don't mean to 318 00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:13,680 Speaker 1: be rude, but I'm on the phone. I'm muting the 319 00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:15,440 Speaker 1: phone and then I'm mute and I'm like, yeah, I 320 00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:17,560 Speaker 1: can do that. Um. So I started injections on this 321 00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:19,240 Speaker 1: day and he's just like, I just have to tell you. 322 00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:20,960 Speaker 1: I'm like, you don't have to just tell me anything. 323 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,840 Speaker 1: I just told you. I'm on the phone. It's your 324 00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:24,480 Speaker 1: job to get me a key, let me back in 325 00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:27,000 Speaker 1: the gym. I wasn't being rude at all. And then 326 00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:30,160 Speaker 1: he has to stop me and say, I just need 327 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:34,920 Speaker 1: to say, did you bring a hastily packed suitcase? Which 328 00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:37,720 Speaker 1: is a reference to my joke about my vagina, which 329 00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:40,600 Speaker 1: is inappropriate. Zeeke, I know it, And I said, oh, 330 00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:44,440 Speaker 1: that's a good because it's travel related hotel, but also 331 00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:48,480 Speaker 1: like generous, don't don't talk about my vagina. I know 332 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:51,240 Speaker 1: I do, but why do you think you can? I 333 00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:53,600 Speaker 1: got it, dude. I gotta tell you this quick thing 334 00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:57,720 Speaker 1: about your clip. I'm a huge and you know, people 335 00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:00,480 Speaker 1: bring me pictures of hastily back suitcases for me to sign. 336 00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:04,280 Speaker 1: People reference hastically all the time. If you're mind tickets 337 00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:06,040 Speaker 1: to my show, fine, say whatever you want to me. 338 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:08,240 Speaker 1: I just know that I am rolling my eyes and 339 00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:11,280 Speaker 1: making fun of you behind your back because do better. 340 00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:14,120 Speaker 1: But I do love. I mean, I met so many 341 00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:16,480 Speaker 1: besties this weekend. They were all so sweet. They all 342 00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:18,240 Speaker 1: are just like people I would hang out with. I 343 00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:21,880 Speaker 1: there's none of that weirdness. There was one weird guy, 344 00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:26,000 Speaker 1: really weird guy this weekend, and it was ironic because 345 00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:28,920 Speaker 1: he was at a show where we had cops. I've 346 00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:30,920 Speaker 1: started getting cops in my shows because I'm scared someone's 347 00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:34,080 Speaker 1: gonna Christina grimmy me. Um. Look it up if you've 348 00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:35,920 Speaker 1: never heard of it. It's the most horrifying thing ever. 349 00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:38,919 Speaker 1: She is a girl that was on I Believe the Voice, 350 00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:40,440 Speaker 1: and then she was at a mean greet and someone 351 00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:42,679 Speaker 1: just come, came up and shot her point blank, a 352 00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:44,399 Speaker 1: guy that was in love with her, and she had 353 00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:46,359 Speaker 1: never even met him before, and he had for months 354 00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:48,439 Speaker 1: been talking about her and telling people that it was 355 00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:50,560 Speaker 1: his girlfriend and that they talked online. And he got 356 00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:53,600 Speaker 1: hair transplant for her, he lost, he got a trainer, 357 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:55,440 Speaker 1: he got in shape, and then he didn't even try 358 00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:57,480 Speaker 1: to like meet her. He just walked up to her 359 00:17:57,480 --> 00:17:59,200 Speaker 1: and shot her. I'm like, why did you get a 360 00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:03,639 Speaker 1: hair transplant? And then her brother immediately tackles him to 361 00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:07,159 Speaker 1: the ground while his daughter, his sister is bleeding to 362 00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:10,040 Speaker 1: death because she's got shot point blank in the chest 363 00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:12,240 Speaker 1: and I think in the head. And then the guy 364 00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:14,480 Speaker 1: struggles away and then shoots himself. So we never got 365 00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:18,399 Speaker 1: any answers. Um. But I often times at meat and grades, 366 00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:20,200 Speaker 1: men will come up to me with their hands in 367 00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:23,600 Speaker 1: their pockets. Single men, solo men, which I don't have 368 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:25,280 Speaker 1: a problem with. In fact, I encourage people to go 369 00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:27,399 Speaker 1: solo to my shows. But they walk up and they 370 00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:30,280 Speaker 1: have their hand in the because they're nervous, and they 371 00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:32,040 Speaker 1: look nervous. And guess what, you would be nervous. You 372 00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:34,000 Speaker 1: would be nervous before you met someone you really cared about, 373 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:36,119 Speaker 1: and you would also be nervous before you killed someone 374 00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:38,800 Speaker 1: you really care about. That would be a nervous guy. 375 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:42,400 Speaker 1: So the energy is the same. And so I honestly, 376 00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:45,440 Speaker 1: probably five times in my career have braced myself to 377 00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:49,359 Speaker 1: die where I go, this is it. You're about to 378 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:51,280 Speaker 1: die right now. And I'm sick of feeling that way. 379 00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:54,280 Speaker 1: So I'm gonna start having cops come just to like, 380 00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:57,280 Speaker 1: at least shoot the guy. If he shoots me, They're 381 00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:58,920 Speaker 1: not really gonna have a chance to tackle him before 382 00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:00,080 Speaker 1: he just pulls out a gun and shoots me. I 383 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:02,359 Speaker 1: really don't have a preventative. I gotta start doing maybe 384 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:05,639 Speaker 1: metal detectors, lie detector tests, where people go do you 385 00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:07,520 Speaker 1: have a gun? And a little man with a machine goes, 386 00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:12,760 Speaker 1: he's not lying. Um. But this weekend, a guy comes 387 00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:15,880 Speaker 1: up and these people come up before him and they're like, 388 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:18,080 Speaker 1: really sweet, take a picture, and they go get ready 389 00:19:18,119 --> 00:19:20,160 Speaker 1: for the guy. And then next up and I go, oh, 390 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:21,920 Speaker 1: thanks for the warning. I could already tell this guy 391 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:24,000 Speaker 1: was causing trouble because I could. I'm just you know, 392 00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:26,840 Speaker 1: you just sense your surroundings. And he comes up and 393 00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:29,240 Speaker 1: he goes, they were no fun and I go why, 394 00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:30,959 Speaker 1: and he was like, I goosed them. They didn't like it. 395 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:33,600 Speaker 1: I go, what do you mean you goosed them? He's 396 00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:35,479 Speaker 1: like a goost him And I was like, you like, 397 00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:38,159 Speaker 1: if you don't know what goose means, it means you 398 00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:40,399 Speaker 1: like grab their butt like a goose would like a 399 00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:42,199 Speaker 1: goose if it was biting you. Just she kind of 400 00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:45,560 Speaker 1: like honk hong kong. You know it's to a vagina, 401 00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:48,159 Speaker 1: it's to a butt. I knew about goosing because in 402 00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:51,000 Speaker 1: the nineties my aunt got goosed. She was at Ace 403 00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:53,840 Speaker 1: Hardware picking up something for my grandma and we were 404 00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:55,119 Speaker 1: all at the house and she came back and she 405 00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:58,840 Speaker 1: was like, I got ghost and we were all laughing 406 00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:00,840 Speaker 1: because we had never heard of it. Everyone's just like 407 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,639 Speaker 1: I look back on it and I'm like, so sorry, 408 00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:04,640 Speaker 1: Aunt Nancy that we all laughed that you got goose 409 00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:06,919 Speaker 1: because everyone didn't know what that was. And then you 410 00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:08,760 Speaker 1: told us what it was and we still laughed. I 411 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:10,480 Speaker 1: will say I was in fourth grade, so I was 412 00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:12,640 Speaker 1: allowed to still laugh because I didn't understand what sexual 413 00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:15,600 Speaker 1: harassment was. But the rest of my family shame on you. 414 00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:20,120 Speaker 1: And Nancy got goosed by a stranger at a at 415 00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:23,600 Speaker 1: a fucking Ace hardware and this guy's goosing people in 416 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:26,160 Speaker 1: my line and I go, why are you goosing? He goes, 417 00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:28,040 Speaker 1: can I goose you? And I go no, but you 418 00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:30,080 Speaker 1: know what, you can ask me if you can goose me. 419 00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:32,320 Speaker 1: Do that and he goes, I used to goose a 420 00:20:32,359 --> 00:20:34,479 Speaker 1: lot of women back at the bars and the fucking 421 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:37,160 Speaker 1: I used to goose some all the time. And I go, why, 422 00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:39,800 Speaker 1: I go, don't goose women. He goes, I I don't, 423 00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:42,400 Speaker 1: I don't and I go, you promise me right now 424 00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:45,280 Speaker 1: you will never goose another person. That is weird and 425 00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:47,159 Speaker 1: he goes, I don't even go to bars. And I go, 426 00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:48,960 Speaker 1: but you will go to a bar someday and you 427 00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:51,280 Speaker 1: might pick up goosing again. And I go. All you 428 00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:54,480 Speaker 1: have to do is ask ask if you can goose someone. Honestly, 429 00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:57,240 Speaker 1: that is okay to me. Just ask for consent. And 430 00:20:57,280 --> 00:20:59,679 Speaker 1: he was like okay, And it was just like I 431 00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:01,880 Speaker 1: what the cops are right there. I'm like, get this guy, 432 00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:05,240 Speaker 1: the guy that the goosing, the goosing man of Kalamazoo 433 00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:10,720 Speaker 1: from who has probably multiple reports of goosing women. Broker, 434 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:13,840 Speaker 1: that's him, that's your guy. He just admitted to it 435 00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:16,720 Speaker 1: in front of cops. It was wild. I've never heard 436 00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:19,880 Speaker 1: of anything, but that's a that's my whole thing though. 437 00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:22,080 Speaker 1: I goose like that's what I've known for. They called 438 00:21:22,119 --> 00:21:24,639 Speaker 1: me the goose. He was with someone too, and I go, 439 00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:28,439 Speaker 1: how can you let this guy out? Like get this 440 00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:31,199 Speaker 1: guy out of here. It was just so wild to me, 441 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:34,280 Speaker 1: and it made me realize that like creeps don't even 442 00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:38,520 Speaker 1: fucking know they're creeps. They're so stupid. They like they 443 00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:41,359 Speaker 1: thought it was funny to goose people. Like I'm not 444 00:21:41,359 --> 00:21:43,840 Speaker 1: saying not all creeps, no, but like some creeps get 445 00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:45,400 Speaker 1: off from the fact that they are creeps and they 446 00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:47,439 Speaker 1: like that part of it. But this guy like genuinely 447 00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:53,399 Speaker 1: thought goosing was like a funput word for inappropriate touch 448 00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:56,080 Speaker 1: unreal and he I'm so sorry to the people in 449 00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:57,879 Speaker 1: front of me. I think he did it to the 450 00:21:57,880 --> 00:22:00,000 Speaker 1: man and he said she was pissed like his girl 451 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:02,400 Speaker 1: from us and she had every right to be fuck 452 00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:05,640 Speaker 1: you for goosen. So don't Why did guys goose each 453 00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:08,560 Speaker 1: other's balls? I've seen this a lot, Like with guy friends. 454 00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:13,040 Speaker 1: They're like, doesn't they get get dying for affection? They're 455 00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:15,480 Speaker 1: trying to be always they do it as like a 456 00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:19,760 Speaker 1: flicking gay way. So it's like not really touching because 457 00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:24,040 Speaker 1: I would never dying, but I really want warmth and 458 00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:26,520 Speaker 1: I'm just gonna go for your scrown them because that way, 459 00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:30,159 Speaker 1: no one will ever misconstrue that I'm actually seeking intimacy 460 00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:34,080 Speaker 1: with my with fellow men. But that's really what I want. 461 00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:35,320 Speaker 1: I want to touch someone, but I got to do 462 00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:36,520 Speaker 1: it in a jokey way. We gotta go to break, 463 00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:39,679 Speaker 1: will come back with more of my thoughts about um 464 00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:41,679 Speaker 1: things that I don't know about and have really no 465 00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:51,280 Speaker 1: degree for after Okay, Also, wait, there was another story 466 00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:53,560 Speaker 1: that I was dying to tell about this weekend. I 467 00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:57,160 Speaker 1: know I have on my list goosing Guy. Yeah, Goose 468 00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:59,840 Speaker 1: and Guy was out of control. The shows were really fun. 469 00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:02,080 Speaker 1: We had a good time. You had fun right, Oh 470 00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:04,399 Speaker 1: my god, it was so fun. You were riffing on 471 00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:07,040 Speaker 1: songs and Julia and it was like the first time 472 00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:10,440 Speaker 1: I had seen you kind of just riffing and doing 473 00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:12,360 Speaker 1: jokes in the middle of singing. I was like, Oh, 474 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:15,520 Speaker 1: there's there's something happening here. It was really cool. It 475 00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:19,480 Speaker 1: was fun. Yeah. I wanted to sing Anti Hero because 476 00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:21,600 Speaker 1: that's the song I've been practicing with my voice coach, 477 00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:26,840 Speaker 1: who um yeah, who was very encouraging and he helped 478 00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:29,160 Speaker 1: me work. We worked on that song the other day 479 00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:32,119 Speaker 1: and so it was like, oh, I guess in Kalamazoo. 480 00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:33,520 Speaker 1: I was like, the sound is so good. I kind 481 00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:35,359 Speaker 1: of want to just like sing an extra song because 482 00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:36,639 Speaker 1: I sang one song with you, and then I was like, 483 00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:38,919 Speaker 1: I want another one. Why are people calling me? My 484 00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:42,679 Speaker 1: fucking front desk is calling me. Something's happening downstairs, a fire. 485 00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:45,560 Speaker 1: I'm in trouble. Do you feel like you're in trouble 486 00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:51,200 Speaker 1: everywhere you go? It's probably just like your protein bars arrived, ma'am. 487 00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:53,280 Speaker 1: I always think a phone call means I'm in trouble. 488 00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:57,360 Speaker 1: That's trouble. Yes, I almost got in trouble this weekend. 489 00:23:57,840 --> 00:24:00,159 Speaker 1: I like smoked a little weed at my hotel him 490 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:04,120 Speaker 1: and uh Kalamazoo, because I was about to go work out. 491 00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:06,120 Speaker 1: It's not like I'm smoking weed to be like, oh, 492 00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:08,840 Speaker 1: just hang out there all day and sucking jerk off 493 00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:12,200 Speaker 1: and watch anime I do it so I can get 494 00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:16,520 Speaker 1: ship done. And I spent a little weed and then 495 00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:20,920 Speaker 1: I left my and the place smells like an armpit. Anyway, 496 00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:23,600 Speaker 1: weed is dressing up the place, and then this person 497 00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:26,200 Speaker 1: like I could see that someone from the front desk 498 00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:28,600 Speaker 1: like came and I was at the very far end 499 00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:29,840 Speaker 1: of this place. I think they saw me blowing it 500 00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:31,159 Speaker 1: out the window. That's how they knew. And then they 501 00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:33,000 Speaker 1: came and they stood outside my door, and I had 502 00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:36,040 Speaker 1: already left to go to the gym. So I passed 503 00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:37,800 Speaker 1: this person who was going to reprimand me in the 504 00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:39,040 Speaker 1: hall and then I waited and I was like, I 505 00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:40,439 Speaker 1: bet they're going to my door. And then they just 506 00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:42,719 Speaker 1: stand out on my door like angry, and I'm like, 507 00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:45,959 Speaker 1: charge me the two fifty. I don't care. You know. 508 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:48,199 Speaker 1: When I'm going through spurts of the smoking pot, I 509 00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:51,040 Speaker 1: always just go there like there's a two smoking fee 510 00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:53,359 Speaker 1: and I go charge it. Let me just smoke like 511 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:55,480 Speaker 1: it doesn't linger And I know people are like, this 512 00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:57,480 Speaker 1: is rude. It lingers then has to switch rooms. I 513 00:24:57,520 --> 00:24:59,000 Speaker 1: do it all the time. I got to a smoking 514 00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:01,040 Speaker 1: room the other day that all like cigarettes. I'd asked 515 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:03,000 Speaker 1: to change rooms. I'm sorry, I paid the extra two fifty. 516 00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:06,080 Speaker 1: Let me do it. I have an addiction. Um, So 517 00:25:06,119 --> 00:25:07,840 Speaker 1: I almost got in trouble. And the whole time one 518 00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:09,480 Speaker 1: in the treadmill. Like at the gym, I'm like, there's 519 00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:10,840 Speaker 1: gonna be cops there when I get back in that 520 00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:15,359 Speaker 1: I'm like, wait again, it's legal here, recreationally medicinally. Also, 521 00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:18,600 Speaker 1: please arrest me for weed. I've been arrested three times 522 00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:21,160 Speaker 1: already for it. Do it again. I need a little 523 00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:23,640 Speaker 1: bump in the press. That would be amazing to get arrested. 524 00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:25,359 Speaker 1: I had like a good face that day. I was like, 525 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:27,520 Speaker 1: I'm mug shot ready. I was like practicing the face 526 00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:30,520 Speaker 1: I would make, which was really and I was like, Oh, 527 00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:32,320 Speaker 1: this is gonna be good. But that's how much my 528 00:25:32,359 --> 00:25:34,120 Speaker 1: mind spends. And then I got back to my room 529 00:25:34,119 --> 00:25:35,399 Speaker 1: and there was not even a note there, so it 530 00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:39,280 Speaker 1: was fine and the room didn't smell so um what 531 00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:42,479 Speaker 1: was I going to say about? Um? Oh yeah, So 532 00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:45,719 Speaker 1: I we sang the anti hero song, and then I 533 00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:48,720 Speaker 1: was realizing that, like, people aren't getting the song, Like 534 00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:51,320 Speaker 1: they don't they're not hearing the lyrics, they're not understanding 535 00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:53,439 Speaker 1: why this song is so good. And then because the 536 00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:56,360 Speaker 1: song is about being depressed, even though like it's it's 537 00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:59,000 Speaker 1: one of my favorite Taylor Swift songs lyrically because she 538 00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:01,680 Speaker 1: really admits to being narcissist. She admits to being depressed, 539 00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:04,200 Speaker 1: she admits to like second guessing herself all the time. 540 00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:06,640 Speaker 1: And this is Taylor Swift, and I feel like she's 541 00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:10,439 Speaker 1: really letting us in on some demons very specifically and 542 00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:12,520 Speaker 1: that we can all relate to. And it's just catchy 543 00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:16,720 Speaker 1: as fuck. You can't you can't deny that, and so um, 544 00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:18,560 Speaker 1: I felt like, oh, there's lots of jokes I have 545 00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:21,280 Speaker 1: that relate to these like lyrics, and so in between 546 00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:23,600 Speaker 1: the lyrics, I would tell jokes to just think. I 547 00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:28,200 Speaker 1: also about what you also feel what. I also feel 548 00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:30,040 Speaker 1: like I shouldn't be singing, and I feel like bad 549 00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:31,960 Speaker 1: that I'm People are like I paid to see comedy 550 00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:36,520 Speaker 1: and she's just like doing karaoke like this is It's 551 00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:38,840 Speaker 1: just it's fine, but it's not what I'm known for. 552 00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:40,920 Speaker 1: So I also feel like I still have to dress 553 00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:44,080 Speaker 1: it up, like I I care about people spending their 554 00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:45,920 Speaker 1: money to see what they paid to see, and they 555 00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:48,439 Speaker 1: did not see paid to see me sing. That's another 556 00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:50,000 Speaker 1: thing that they some of them may do that, but 557 00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:51,960 Speaker 1: that's not what these people paid for. So I feel 558 00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:58,200 Speaker 1: indulged in Yeah, but still that could be five more 559 00:26:58,240 --> 00:27:00,359 Speaker 1: minutes of comedy that someone wants, and I could be 560 00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:02,520 Speaker 1: the story they tell themselves. If they don't like one 561 00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:05,680 Speaker 1: thing about my act, they could say and it was 562 00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:08,840 Speaker 1: really indulgent. She sang a song. They always use something again. 563 00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:10,879 Speaker 1: They remember the thing. I went to go see a 564 00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:13,600 Speaker 1: comedy show last night. What do I remember about it? 565 00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:17,439 Speaker 1: The lows? I remember the high highs and the low lows. 566 00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:20,640 Speaker 1: I know what people do psychologically when they go see 567 00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:22,480 Speaker 1: a show. They remember the best thing, and they remember 568 00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:24,600 Speaker 1: the worst thing, and everything in between. They kind of 569 00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:28,479 Speaker 1: just forget. Um So wait, what were you gonna say? Anya? 570 00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:30,600 Speaker 1: What was your question? What was that verse about? Do 571 00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:33,399 Speaker 1: you think that Taylor Swift where she's talking about her 572 00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:37,800 Speaker 1: nightmare of you know, her future relatives, where I, oh, 573 00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:40,240 Speaker 1: the sister, my daughter, and I have this dream my 574 00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:42,520 Speaker 1: daughter in law kills me for the money. She thinks 575 00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:44,679 Speaker 1: that I left them in the will. My family gathers 576 00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:47,120 Speaker 1: around to read it, and then someone screams out she's 577 00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:49,560 Speaker 1: laughing at up at us from hell, um, well, the 578 00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:51,280 Speaker 1: whole thing is about like She's like kind of like, 579 00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:54,160 Speaker 1: I'm I'm the problem. It's me, And then she has 580 00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:56,680 Speaker 1: this dream where in the end she like she has 581 00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:58,639 Speaker 1: First of all, she admits that she's probably gonna have 582 00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:01,080 Speaker 1: cuntry children, nep obeyed vise that are like going to 583 00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:04,880 Speaker 1: use her her daughter in law, like whoever marries her 584 00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:07,640 Speaker 1: son or daughter. Yeah, whoever marries her son or daughter 585 00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:09,439 Speaker 1: if her daughter is gay, is going to end up 586 00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:12,520 Speaker 1: killing her. And then and she doesn't say nightmare. She 587 00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:15,840 Speaker 1: says she has a dream. And then in the dream 588 00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:19,359 Speaker 1: she's already she's already planned ahead, knowing that she's going 589 00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:21,880 Speaker 1: to be betrayed, and she has it in her will 590 00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:23,919 Speaker 1: that all of her money goes to her cats. And 591 00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:26,560 Speaker 1: that's in the sketch that um Mike probicularly isn't in 592 00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:29,440 Speaker 1: the in the actual video, but yeah, they so then 593 00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:31,000 Speaker 1: they read the thing and they're like, oh, my god, 594 00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:32,800 Speaker 1: she's sucking laughing at us from hell because we thought 595 00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:34,159 Speaker 1: we were going to get money, and in the in 596 00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:36,960 Speaker 1: the will, they don't get anything. So like cat part 597 00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:39,120 Speaker 1: never makes it into the song, right, Yeah, but I 598 00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:42,200 Speaker 1: think it is inferred that my family gathers around and 599 00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:44,600 Speaker 1: reads it and then someone screams out she's laughing at 600 00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:47,000 Speaker 1: Like as they read it, they're like, oh, she's fucking 601 00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:50,360 Speaker 1: laughing at us, Like she got the last word. So 602 00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:53,640 Speaker 1: it's almost about like she can never trust anyone, even 603 00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:56,200 Speaker 1: her children. She won't end up trusting and they're going 604 00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:58,600 Speaker 1: to betray her. And because it's like when I heard 605 00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:00,760 Speaker 1: that there's a celebrity I heard that leaves stacks of 606 00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:03,560 Speaker 1: money laying out. I think she may have said in 607 00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:05,560 Speaker 1: her documentary, but in case she didn't, I don't want 608 00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:07,120 Speaker 1: to out her. But she gave me some pots and 609 00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:09,360 Speaker 1: pans recently, if you want to know. And this person 610 00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:12,840 Speaker 1: used to leave out stacks of thousands of dollars and 611 00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:16,160 Speaker 1: then and her boyfriend's like she'd let them, and then 612 00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:18,040 Speaker 1: she counted later to make sure that none of them 613 00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:21,600 Speaker 1: skimmed some from the top. Because she's always always knew 614 00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:24,360 Speaker 1: someone's going to betray her. I'm glad that I'm not 615 00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:26,480 Speaker 1: like that. I think that would be a sad place 616 00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:29,440 Speaker 1: to be. I probably gets stolen from all the time, 617 00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:33,320 Speaker 1: but I don't know it um unless it was egregious. 618 00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:36,120 Speaker 1: And I just feel like sometimes my mom is like, 619 00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:37,960 Speaker 1: you have a lot of people working for you. I 620 00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:40,000 Speaker 1: have stashes of cash in my apartment that you would 621 00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:41,920 Speaker 1: never find because I can't even find them because I 622 00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:43,880 Speaker 1: just forget where I put cash, and it's in my 623 00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:46,040 Speaker 1: mom's head to like hide your cash, even though I 624 00:29:46,040 --> 00:29:48,400 Speaker 1: would just leave it out. I mean, when Taylor came 625 00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:51,880 Speaker 1: to my house to redecorate it, she was like, you 626 00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:54,600 Speaker 1: have so I know this is like Nikki's bragging about 627 00:29:54,600 --> 00:29:57,400 Speaker 1: having so much money day on the podcast, but I 628 00:29:57,440 --> 00:30:00,360 Speaker 1: had so much cash she couldn't. And I'm not saying 629 00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:02,400 Speaker 1: this to be like I just don't. I don't think 630 00:30:02,480 --> 00:30:05,040 Speaker 1: about things like I just don't. I don't remember. And 631 00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:07,760 Speaker 1: then she she now she's paranoid that and I'm like, 632 00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:10,840 Speaker 1: just and so I will write numbers next to it 633 00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:13,600 Speaker 1: so people think I know how much money it is, 634 00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:15,520 Speaker 1: but I don't actually count it. Because if I saw 635 00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:17,200 Speaker 1: a bunch of cash and I wanted to steal something, 636 00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:19,920 Speaker 1: but I saw a number written next to it, this 637 00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:23,960 Speaker 1: person's monitoring. And also, I have so many cameras from 638 00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:26,960 Speaker 1: when I go on the road. No, you've sent me 639 00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:30,440 Speaker 1: so many cameras I've smudge or whatever that I accidentally 640 00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:33,680 Speaker 1: um found one in like a sock drawer because I just, 641 00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:35,360 Speaker 1: you know, come back from the road and emptied my 642 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:36,680 Speaker 1: socks and I forgot that I put it in the 643 00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:39,080 Speaker 1: socks because I wanted to protect it and not get scratched. 644 00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:40,840 Speaker 1: So I found one of my sock draw the other 645 00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:43,160 Speaker 1: day and I put it up on the shelf just 646 00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:44,480 Speaker 1: to get it out of the way and remember it 647 00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:46,440 Speaker 1: was there. And then Taylor was like, it's cool that 648 00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:48,040 Speaker 1: you got cameras in there, because I was. I was like, 649 00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:51,680 Speaker 1: I do not camera. I don't. It would be so 650 00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:53,720 Speaker 1: weird if I had cameras everywhere. I'd never want to 651 00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:55,520 Speaker 1: be that kind of person. But it does work. You 652 00:30:55,600 --> 00:31:00,880 Speaker 1: just put up decoy things. UM so us night. I 653 00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:05,400 Speaker 1: had such a fun night. I um went to see 654 00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:09,480 Speaker 1: Dave Chappelle and Chris Rock at the Enterprise Center UM, 655 00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:11,400 Speaker 1: which is the same place I went to go see 656 00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:15,200 Speaker 1: the Blues game a couple of weeks ago, and I 657 00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:17,480 Speaker 1: was getting back in town. I was so tired. I've 658 00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:21,360 Speaker 1: done a comedy show every single night for the past millennia, 659 00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:23,040 Speaker 1: and I'm like, do I really want to go to one? 660 00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:27,120 Speaker 1: But I've never seen Chris Rock live. I mean maybe 661 00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:29,560 Speaker 1: at the Seller when I was like passing through the 662 00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:31,680 Speaker 1: go to the bathroom, but generally when he came by 663 00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:35,719 Speaker 1: the Seller, it would be so packed down there. And 664 00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:39,680 Speaker 1: I don't really I don't really care about watching stand 665 00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:41,240 Speaker 1: up being worked out. I kind of want to see 666 00:31:41,280 --> 00:31:44,200 Speaker 1: the final thing. I'm not like that interested in the process, 667 00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:46,720 Speaker 1: and I know how clunky it can be, especially for 668 00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:48,960 Speaker 1: really famous people. They get away with so much that 669 00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:51,920 Speaker 1: they can make it like. There are many stories I 670 00:31:51,960 --> 00:31:56,520 Speaker 1: think of people seeing Dave Chappelle, Chris Rock, Louis like 671 00:31:56,600 --> 00:32:00,520 Speaker 1: greats and being like or Seinfeld. Even I remember Seinfeld's 672 00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:04,320 Speaker 1: documentary You see him go up and he bombs terribly 673 00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:08,040 Speaker 1: in the nineties when he was Sinefeld, he bombs and 674 00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:11,000 Speaker 1: so because it's just it's so new material and it's 675 00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:13,280 Speaker 1: uncomfortable to watch. And I think there's people out there 676 00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:15,320 Speaker 1: that are like, Chris Rock sucks because they saw him 677 00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:17,400 Speaker 1: one night when he was like but then you know 678 00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:19,680 Speaker 1: what they do. They always go, I'm working on new stuff, 679 00:32:19,760 --> 00:32:22,440 Speaker 1: and then that gives everyone to go. Whenever you see 680 00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:24,720 Speaker 1: a comedian that has a tour that's like working it 681 00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:28,160 Speaker 1: out or no offense, micro biglio or like new jokes, 682 00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:31,680 Speaker 1: don't like it's always a defense mechanism because they know 683 00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:35,440 Speaker 1: it sucks, which is true. But you don't see musicians 684 00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:38,640 Speaker 1: go like half ass and it tour, you know what 685 00:32:38,680 --> 00:32:41,400 Speaker 1: I mean, Like it's and comedians do this. I do it. 686 00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:43,520 Speaker 1: Anytime a joke doesn't do well and it's new, I 687 00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:45,680 Speaker 1: always go, well that's new, because I have to like 688 00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:48,520 Speaker 1: let people know. I don't worry. I don't think that's 689 00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:53,680 Speaker 1: good yet. Anyway, they were great last night. Um, we 690 00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:56,680 Speaker 1: went to the Enterprise Center. We got you know, I 691 00:32:57,080 --> 00:32:59,600 Speaker 1: Matt wrote on my behalf to people that were working 692 00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:03,920 Speaker 1: at Matt you know, on your fiance. He's my tour manager. 693 00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:06,120 Speaker 1: So I was just at the Steeple Center in St. Louis, 694 00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:09,160 Speaker 1: which is connected to the Enterprise Center, the theater like 695 00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:12,160 Speaker 1: connected to it. So he wrote to people there, got 696 00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:15,280 Speaker 1: me tickets and um, and they fucking did the same 697 00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:22,000 Speaker 1: blue streatment that I got, private parking backstage like area. 698 00:33:23,080 --> 00:33:25,160 Speaker 1: I went with Chris and so we went together. He 699 00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:27,760 Speaker 1: picked me up. He was going to spend six on tickets. 700 00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:29,680 Speaker 1: He was like there two seventy each, and I'm like, no, 701 00:33:30,120 --> 00:33:34,239 Speaker 1: we are not paying for comedy in this economy, and 702 00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:36,280 Speaker 1: so I was like, we're not doing it. And so 703 00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:39,400 Speaker 1: thankfully we got hooked up. And now I know I 704 00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:41,960 Speaker 1: can just go to fucking any show there. Yes, you 705 00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:49,160 Speaker 1: should be acting. I think good. Two thousand two, well, 706 00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:52,160 Speaker 1: it was nice, and then we got to be in 707 00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:58,600 Speaker 1: this private area and Chris Rock was great. Um he 708 00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:02,520 Speaker 1: went on first. I was wondering how it was gonna go, 709 00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:04,480 Speaker 1: but it seems like every night it's Chris Rock and 710 00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:08,359 Speaker 1: then Chappelle. Chapelle was running late because his plane got 711 00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:10,919 Speaker 1: um had issues, so they had they almost moved the show. 712 00:34:11,040 --> 00:34:14,239 Speaker 1: They almost called the show at like six seven thirty 713 00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:15,680 Speaker 1: and they were like, we might just move this to 714 00:34:15,719 --> 00:34:18,160 Speaker 1: Thursday because he's not gonna make it. So he was 715 00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:20,719 Speaker 1: super late and everyone was piste off because everyone has 716 00:34:20,760 --> 00:34:23,360 Speaker 1: to put their phones in those yonder bags, so everyone 717 00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:25,840 Speaker 1: is losing their minds, like and then they sent the 718 00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:28,719 Speaker 1: opener back up in between Chris Rock and Dave, which 719 00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:31,000 Speaker 1: is just not how it's done. Like, I felt so 720 00:34:31,040 --> 00:34:33,279 Speaker 1: bad for rink Ingram. Shout out to Rick. He like 721 00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:36,399 Speaker 1: killed it. Like it was a hell gig going back 722 00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:38,799 Speaker 1: up there after everyone had already we saw We saw 723 00:34:38,920 --> 00:34:41,799 Speaker 1: grick Ingram, then Donal Rawlings, then Chris Rock and then 724 00:34:41,880 --> 00:34:44,120 Speaker 1: rick Ingram comes back up and it is eleven o'clock 725 00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:46,920 Speaker 1: at night and we're like, let's do It's a Sunday 726 00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:50,200 Speaker 1: night too, you know. So he did a really good job. Though, 727 00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:55,239 Speaker 1: and the crowd loved him. Um. But during Chris Rock set, Um, 728 00:34:55,480 --> 00:34:57,120 Speaker 1: there was this woman sitting next to us in the 729 00:34:57,120 --> 00:34:59,920 Speaker 1: bomb Rito booth. Thank you so much to bomb Arito team. 730 00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:02,279 Speaker 1: They're like a car dealership. We're in a nice you 731 00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:05,360 Speaker 1: know section. There's this woman sick next to us who's 732 00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:10,000 Speaker 1: clearly drunk. Green sweater girl, and she's probably in her 733 00:35:10,120 --> 00:35:15,000 Speaker 1: late twenties, early thirties, and she's drunk. She's wooing at 734 00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:18,160 Speaker 1: bad times. She you can tell she's like, only knows 735 00:35:18,239 --> 00:35:20,640 Speaker 1: Chris Rock because of his name and like the slap 736 00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:24,080 Speaker 1: and like just not a comedy fan whatsoever. I couldn't 737 00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:25,799 Speaker 1: tell if she was just a date of this guy 738 00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:28,640 Speaker 1: or like his woman, but I'm guessing they've just been 739 00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:31,840 Speaker 1: dating a little bit. Um. She keeps wooing at all 740 00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:34,640 Speaker 1: the wrong places. She's drunk. The woos are so loud 741 00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:38,080 Speaker 1: they through hockey stadium. You can hear him. And they 742 00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:41,600 Speaker 1: even give an announcement. Um. DJ Trauma I think is 743 00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:43,960 Speaker 1: his name, the guy that DJs before the event. He 744 00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:48,440 Speaker 1: before Rick Ingraham comes on, he says, don't shout out anything, 745 00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:51,359 Speaker 1: you're not helping the show. There's no question you can 746 00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:55,000 Speaker 1: ask that they want to answer. Shut like he literally, 747 00:35:55,040 --> 00:35:56,600 Speaker 1: but he says in a nice way. He's like, don't 748 00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:59,680 Speaker 1: shout anything. It does not worth it. You're gonna You're 749 00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:03,160 Speaker 1: gonna it kicked out immediately, with no questions asked. I 750 00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:04,960 Speaker 1: found out that not only do they get kicked out 751 00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:06,960 Speaker 1: if they say anything, which they didn't to the girl 752 00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:09,520 Speaker 1: that was wooing the whole fucking time. But she was 753 00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:13,160 Speaker 1: in the bomb a Rito booth. But the Yonder Bags 754 00:36:13,239 --> 00:36:16,600 Speaker 1: people girls will take their nails and and rip out 755 00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:19,320 Speaker 1: the seams to get at their phones. Like people can't 756 00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:22,800 Speaker 1: stand they will cut them there. They can't stand not 757 00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:25,440 Speaker 1: having their phones. They're losing their goddamn minds. We got 758 00:36:25,440 --> 00:36:28,799 Speaker 1: all this in Intel. But um so this girl is 759 00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:34,000 Speaker 1: just wooing and just like yes, uh huh, oh my god, 760 00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:38,120 Speaker 1: I love pizza. I'll mention the word pizza and she'll 761 00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:40,719 Speaker 1: like grasp onto that word like every second was like 762 00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:45,040 Speaker 1: a new thing. And then he says something about like 763 00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:47,960 Speaker 1: guys shooting on Nancy Pelosi's desk. He's doing a bit 764 00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:51,239 Speaker 1: about January six, and he's like, and they just you 765 00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:53,560 Speaker 1: dressed like that, just a ship on Nancy Pelosi's does 766 00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:56,120 Speaker 1: something like that, was his joke. Everyone laughs, and she 767 00:36:56,200 --> 00:37:02,040 Speaker 1: goes as they should, as they should it, and Nicky 768 00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:04,880 Speaker 1: can't take that. Nikki's not gonna So Chris puts his 769 00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:06,760 Speaker 1: hand on my knee because he sees me going crazy. 770 00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:10,400 Speaker 1: And I go as they should. And she's two feet 771 00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:12,799 Speaker 1: from me. There is only an aisle between us, so 772 00:37:12,880 --> 00:37:15,480 Speaker 1: we're both on the ends of the aisle. And she 773 00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:19,239 Speaker 1: goes as they fucking should. And she gets up and 774 00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:22,200 Speaker 1: walks over to me and tries to get in my 775 00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:27,440 Speaker 1: face to start something and think her. Chris gets relieves 776 00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:30,480 Speaker 1: out of his chair and and it gets in between us, 777 00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:33,480 Speaker 1: and I told him, don't you ever do that again, 778 00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:36,840 Speaker 1: don't you I go. All I said was as they should. 779 00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:39,600 Speaker 1: I didn't get in her face. I didn't say you 780 00:37:39,719 --> 00:37:42,640 Speaker 1: fucking dumb cunt like I wanted to say. I didn't 781 00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:45,480 Speaker 1: say you drunk piece of ship. I didn't say anything. 782 00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:48,719 Speaker 1: I said, as they should, you think people should pick 783 00:37:49,040 --> 00:37:51,720 Speaker 1: And all I wanted to say was who's Nancy Pelosi? 784 00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:54,799 Speaker 1: Why don't you like her? What has she done? Why 785 00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:56,759 Speaker 1: don't why don't you like her? What? What? What is it? 786 00:37:56,960 --> 00:37:59,880 Speaker 1: Even her title? What is what did she do? Like? 787 00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:02,000 Speaker 1: I wanted to just quiz her that would have been it, 788 00:38:02,320 --> 00:38:06,319 Speaker 1: but she I would have loved for her to punch 789 00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:08,680 Speaker 1: me in the face. I would have loved it. I 790 00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:11,600 Speaker 1: so later, as soon as this happened, she calms sound 791 00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:14,040 Speaker 1: sits down. But I'm like, oh, I can't even focus. 792 00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:16,399 Speaker 1: I'm fired up because I almost just got assaulted. And 793 00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:19,080 Speaker 1: it really was avoided by Chris doing that. I think 794 00:38:19,320 --> 00:38:20,960 Speaker 1: because I just wrote Chris being like, I'm gonna talk 795 00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:22,439 Speaker 1: about this on the podcast. Do you think she would 796 00:38:22,440 --> 00:38:24,399 Speaker 1: have hit me had you got not gotten the way? 797 00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:29,960 Speaker 1: And he said, quote, um, maybe who knows to actually 798 00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:32,880 Speaker 1: hit someone takes something extra. She's she'd have definitely gotten 799 00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:36,040 Speaker 1: ornerary and in your face. I think she was drunk 800 00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:38,279 Speaker 1: enough to hit me. I really like, all it took 801 00:38:38,320 --> 00:38:40,200 Speaker 1: was me going and I didn't go like as she 802 00:38:40,239 --> 00:38:43,120 Speaker 1: should in her face. I was just you know, I 803 00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:46,439 Speaker 1: just said it to myself, I go as he as 804 00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:51,319 Speaker 1: he should. And so then, um, I am just on fire. 805 00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:53,200 Speaker 1: My body's on fire. I can't even focus. I can't 806 00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:58,200 Speaker 1: even like listen. I'm like so ready to fucking get 807 00:38:58,239 --> 00:39:00,680 Speaker 1: into it with this girl. I mean, I am so 808 00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:03,000 Speaker 1: I look up for a ponytail because I don't want 809 00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:05,799 Speaker 1: her to pull my hair because I'm ready to go, 810 00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:08,600 Speaker 1: and I know this bitch will get We'll pull my hair, no, 811 00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:10,800 Speaker 1: no questions. That my hair looked amazing last night. It 812 00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:13,400 Speaker 1: was like long, Like I knew she would run for 813 00:39:13,480 --> 00:39:16,560 Speaker 1: it and just tug me down, because my goal was 814 00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:19,960 Speaker 1: when we left to say something really snide and then 815 00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:22,560 Speaker 1: duck out, you know, and then we're gone. And I thought, oh, 816 00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:24,520 Speaker 1: she'll grab my ponytail and fucking yank me to the 817 00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:25,759 Speaker 1: ground as soon as I do that. So I put 818 00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:27,560 Speaker 1: it in a ponytail just so she wouldn't grab a 819 00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:30,200 Speaker 1: little piece and then rip it out, you know. So 820 00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:34,920 Speaker 1: I'm gearing up and I go, Chris, I go, babe, 821 00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:37,760 Speaker 1: I have to say something. I cannot because she kept 822 00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:40,560 Speaker 1: doing it and he didn't. She didn't realize Chris Rock 823 00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:44,000 Speaker 1: is making fun of her. And at one point Chris 824 00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:46,480 Speaker 1: Rock even made mention that there are white there's probably 825 00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:49,959 Speaker 1: white supremacists in the building, people who literally are at 826 00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:53,719 Speaker 1: a black black performance and they are white. There's at 827 00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:55,839 Speaker 1: least a couple, and I remember thinking, there's probably not 828 00:39:56,080 --> 00:39:59,000 Speaker 1: that like white power people, and then they go, yes, 829 00:39:59,080 --> 00:40:02,040 Speaker 1: there are. She is right next to me. And then 830 00:40:02,080 --> 00:40:03,839 Speaker 1: they I think it was Don l made the joke, 831 00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:06,680 Speaker 1: maybe about the white supremacist. He was like, they're not 832 00:40:06,719 --> 00:40:08,440 Speaker 1: down here like in the good seats. They're up in 833 00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:10,840 Speaker 1: the nose blades because they're fucking stupid. And I go, no, 834 00:40:10,880 --> 00:40:13,759 Speaker 1: they're not. They're in the bomb Merito box because they're rich. 835 00:40:14,239 --> 00:40:17,080 Speaker 1: These people. This woman has had a V I P. S. 836 00:40:17,080 --> 00:40:20,040 Speaker 1: Seat and she's saying ship on Pelosi's desk and by 837 00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:23,600 Speaker 1: the way, she doesn't even know she has. I guarantee 838 00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:26,640 Speaker 1: she has no idea what Nancy Pelosi does. I mean, 839 00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:29,040 Speaker 1: this woman is a fucking great a moron and so. 840 00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:31,759 Speaker 1: And by the way, I couldn't tell you really what 841 00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:33,880 Speaker 1: she does either, but at least I'm not saying it 842 00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:36,440 Speaker 1: on her desk, you know, Like I'll admit my ignorance. 843 00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:38,439 Speaker 1: I do know what she does, but I'm not gonna 844 00:40:38,440 --> 00:40:39,600 Speaker 1: say it here because it might be wrong. But I 845 00:40:39,600 --> 00:40:43,360 Speaker 1: believe she's the Secretary of State, right, Okay, No I 846 00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:46,759 Speaker 1: met her. I listen, I don't. No one deserves to 847 00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:53,400 Speaker 1: have their desk ship one yea. Oh my god. It 848 00:40:54,960 --> 00:40:57,080 Speaker 1: was so cool. And a lot of people are rolling 849 00:40:57,120 --> 00:40:58,520 Speaker 1: their eyes right now because I know that we have 850 00:40:58,560 --> 00:41:00,600 Speaker 1: listeners that are on the other side of things, like, yeah, 851 00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:03,640 Speaker 1: yes they should. No one should ship on her desk, 852 00:41:03,760 --> 00:41:07,440 Speaker 1: let's be This woman was so disgusting and so and 853 00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:09,360 Speaker 1: my dad almost got into a fight with a trumpee 854 00:41:09,400 --> 00:41:12,200 Speaker 1: that he plays tennis with recently and like screamed in 855 00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:15,880 Speaker 1: his face and they almost got into fisticuffs about it 856 00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:18,160 Speaker 1: because this guy was such an ignorant asshole. And it 857 00:41:18,239 --> 00:41:21,080 Speaker 1: was also about smearing ship on Nancy Plosi's desk, because 858 00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:23,160 Speaker 1: that's where it breaks down. If you think that's a 859 00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:27,920 Speaker 1: good idea, you're a weird monster. That's where all If 860 00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:30,440 Speaker 1: you think the shipping on someone's desk is a good idea, 861 00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:34,880 Speaker 1: that's where we don't we lose discourse. Actually, the Speaker 862 00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:38,640 Speaker 1: of the House, sorry, oh wait, really that's what she's 863 00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:41,520 Speaker 1: a former Speaker of the House. Former Yeah, Speaker of 864 00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:46,840 Speaker 1: the House. Now, oh my god, that's so embarrassing. Secretary 865 00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:50,840 Speaker 1: of State was um god, who's Secretary of State? We 866 00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:56,439 Speaker 1: look it up, Secretary. People are so hard right now 867 00:41:56,520 --> 00:42:01,640 Speaker 1: and I deserve it. Um. Anyway, like I said, I 868 00:42:01,719 --> 00:42:03,239 Speaker 1: don't know. I was going to tell you I don't 869 00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:05,200 Speaker 1: know what Nancy Pelosi does, but I know she doesn't 870 00:42:05,200 --> 00:42:08,280 Speaker 1: deserve to have her fucking desk shift on. And so 871 00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:13,600 Speaker 1: she has some questionable stock trading things. But yeah, but 872 00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:16,440 Speaker 1: don't then go to jail. Don't get your desk sh on. 873 00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:19,680 Speaker 1: And by the way, the desk shitting on is is 874 00:42:19,719 --> 00:42:23,839 Speaker 1: about being she They people wanted her hung, you know, 875 00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:26,440 Speaker 1: like people wanted to kill her. That's what that represents. 876 00:42:26,440 --> 00:42:28,040 Speaker 1: And that's what that woman was all about. I could 877 00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:31,560 Speaker 1: tell so what happened. So I was telling Chris, I 878 00:42:31,600 --> 00:42:34,319 Speaker 1: was like, I got I gotta say something like I'm 879 00:42:34,320 --> 00:42:36,920 Speaker 1: not going to let this go, Like this woman and 880 00:42:36,920 --> 00:42:38,600 Speaker 1: the people next to us were hating her because she 881 00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:41,600 Speaker 1: wouldn't shut the funk up. She was howling and screaming 882 00:42:41,640 --> 00:42:43,440 Speaker 1: through all the jokes. He couldn't hear anything. But there 883 00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:45,640 Speaker 1: was no security in my section, so there was nothing 884 00:42:45,640 --> 00:42:47,560 Speaker 1: to do any comedy show. She would have been thrown out. 885 00:42:47,840 --> 00:42:50,360 Speaker 1: How many other people were in the box with you, guys. 886 00:42:50,480 --> 00:42:51,960 Speaker 1: We were in the very back row so and down 887 00:42:52,040 --> 00:42:55,040 Speaker 1: below was like a large drop off, so I couldn't 888 00:42:55,040 --> 00:42:57,239 Speaker 1: see the people in the dark below. She could have 889 00:42:57,280 --> 00:43:01,279 Speaker 1: thrown you down there. No, no, no, no no, it 890 00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:05,480 Speaker 1: was just no not all I like I said, I 891 00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:07,759 Speaker 1: would like to have a big wound on my face 892 00:43:07,800 --> 00:43:09,839 Speaker 1: from being like I got punched by a trumpy like 893 00:43:10,239 --> 00:43:13,960 Speaker 1: bring it on, just because I would never start a fight. 894 00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:17,799 Speaker 1: All I did was just ask her as as they 895 00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:23,279 Speaker 1: shout as that, and then so then Chris goes, you're 896 00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:26,759 Speaker 1: guest here. This is a like you don't want to 897 00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:29,960 Speaker 1: make a scene like you And that was an important reminder, 898 00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:33,120 Speaker 1: like I've got these tickets for free, I'm a guest here. 899 00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:36,120 Speaker 1: This is someone's box. These are someone's seats that aren't 900 00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:40,439 Speaker 1: like behave yourself. So what I did on the way out, 901 00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:44,320 Speaker 1: I she was drunk. You can tell her boyfriend was 902 00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:46,239 Speaker 1: so embarrassed, but he was you just tell. It was 903 00:43:46,280 --> 00:43:49,200 Speaker 1: like the Will Smith thing. Remember when Will Smith he 904 00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:51,279 Speaker 1: had to he had to punch Chris Rock because if 905 00:43:51,280 --> 00:43:53,440 Speaker 1: he didn't, whatever was on the other side of Jada 906 00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:55,120 Speaker 1: looking at him like that was going to be worse 907 00:43:55,160 --> 00:43:58,080 Speaker 1: than what the repercussions of punching Will Smith and that 908 00:43:58,120 --> 00:44:01,560 Speaker 1: guy shushing his girlfriend was going to the repercussions of 909 00:44:01,640 --> 00:44:04,280 Speaker 1: him shushing her, We're gonna be worse than just putting 910 00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:07,239 Speaker 1: up with her being a complete embarrassment to him. So 911 00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:09,120 Speaker 1: he let her go right, So I knew this guy 912 00:44:09,160 --> 00:44:10,880 Speaker 1: was hen packed in and how he needed to know. 913 00:44:11,480 --> 00:44:15,759 Speaker 1: So as I walk out, I'm like crossing right by them, 914 00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:17,839 Speaker 1: and I can tell he's aware of me leaving because 915 00:44:17,840 --> 00:44:19,719 Speaker 1: he knows I fucking hate her and I'm ready to 916 00:44:19,719 --> 00:44:21,880 Speaker 1: start trouble, but I didn't. It was an hour and 917 00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:23,680 Speaker 1: a half of sitting next to them after that incident, 918 00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:26,200 Speaker 1: and I didn't do anything. I didn't shoot a look, 919 00:44:26,280 --> 00:44:28,080 Speaker 1: I didn't go, oh god, I didn't do anything. I 920 00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:31,799 Speaker 1: was just like, So, then we leave and I Chris. 921 00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:34,680 Speaker 1: Chris goes through the curtains to leave, and he's in 922 00:44:34,719 --> 00:44:36,520 Speaker 1: the next room now, and then I'm just staring standing 923 00:44:36,520 --> 00:44:38,640 Speaker 1: at the curtain and I'm just staring at the guy. 924 00:44:38,680 --> 00:44:40,839 Speaker 1: I'm waiting for him to look at me before I leave, 925 00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:43,319 Speaker 1: and I'm just looking takes him two seconds because he's 926 00:44:43,480 --> 00:44:46,239 Speaker 1: very aware that I'm there, and then he looks over 927 00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:47,960 Speaker 1: at me, and I just go and I look at her. 928 00:44:47,960 --> 00:44:50,440 Speaker 1: I shoot a look at her, and I go and 929 00:44:50,480 --> 00:44:52,760 Speaker 1: I just give him a look like what the funk 930 00:44:52,760 --> 00:44:54,360 Speaker 1: are you doing with your life? Like a lot of 931 00:44:54,440 --> 00:44:58,759 Speaker 1: you guys, a long look of just like oh no. 932 00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:02,319 Speaker 1: And I did this like kind of cross like and 933 00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:05,160 Speaker 1: then left, which made me feel so good because it 934 00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:07,520 Speaker 1: was exactly She's never going to get through to her. 935 00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:09,719 Speaker 1: But at least I can save him. He needs to know, 936 00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:13,680 Speaker 1: get away from this monster. Do not allow this anymore. 937 00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:17,520 Speaker 1: Dropping leave her downtown, find her own way home. But 938 00:45:17,560 --> 00:45:21,240 Speaker 1: it was so in thrilling. I love almost getting into 939 00:45:21,360 --> 00:45:24,120 Speaker 1: a fight. I love when someone wants to fight with 940 00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:28,279 Speaker 1: me until Chris next time. Never if I ever if 941 00:45:28,320 --> 00:45:30,520 Speaker 1: a trump he ever tries to hit me, you let them, 942 00:45:30,560 --> 00:45:32,319 Speaker 1: and I know I will be like, why didn't you 943 00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:34,560 Speaker 1: defend me? I'm begging you right now, don't get in 944 00:45:34,560 --> 00:45:37,200 Speaker 1: the way. Please. I would love to get assaulted by 945 00:45:37,239 --> 00:45:40,560 Speaker 1: someone crazy. And I know that that sounds scary, but 946 00:45:40,600 --> 00:45:42,160 Speaker 1: I've never been punched in the face. I can get 947 00:45:42,160 --> 00:45:43,920 Speaker 1: punched in the face once by a drunk woman. I 948 00:45:43,920 --> 00:45:46,520 Speaker 1: can do it. Okay, just let me have it. Thoughts, 949 00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:49,400 Speaker 1: I'm gonna say no to the person listening right now 950 00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:52,200 Speaker 1: who's mentally ill and and he's going to pull one 951 00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:55,040 Speaker 1: of those um things at the meet and great, so 952 00:45:55,200 --> 00:45:57,600 Speaker 1: Blaze tell everything that he's saying with a huge grain 953 00:45:57,640 --> 00:46:00,840 Speaker 1: of cops if you do. But in like in a 954 00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:03,600 Speaker 1: this is not me in telling any trumpets to punch 955 00:46:03,600 --> 00:46:05,960 Speaker 1: me in the face. I'm saying, if it happens naturally, 956 00:46:06,080 --> 00:46:09,560 Speaker 1: occurs naturally, if you're feeling the vibe, then do it. 957 00:46:09,960 --> 00:46:15,240 Speaker 1: If you're feeling my like libtard snowflake vibe, fucking clock 958 00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:17,799 Speaker 1: me in the face and I'll just be I'll I 959 00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:20,520 Speaker 1: won't do anything, but I'll defend myself. But you're gonna 960 00:46:20,560 --> 00:46:23,120 Speaker 1: look like an idiot. You're gonna look like an idiot, 961 00:46:23,280 --> 00:46:27,000 Speaker 1: and I will prove that you're crazy. I've had that. 962 00:46:28,560 --> 00:46:31,040 Speaker 1: I just love a fight sometimes when I feel like 963 00:46:31,080 --> 00:46:33,400 Speaker 1: I'm right in there wrong and I just I know 964 00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:36,640 Speaker 1: what you feel, the adrenaline coursing through your veins, or 965 00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:39,480 Speaker 1: you're just like bring it. I'm ready. I'm so ready, 966 00:46:39,520 --> 00:46:42,320 Speaker 1: even though I don't know who the Speaker of the houses. 967 00:46:42,960 --> 00:46:45,080 Speaker 1: I mean, I literally said Secretary of State, and we 968 00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:47,000 Speaker 1: had that, we said that, we all sat on that 969 00:46:47,040 --> 00:46:51,440 Speaker 1: for ye and there. I cannot believe the reaction we're 970 00:46:51,440 --> 00:46:52,840 Speaker 1: going to get from people. Do you want to know 971 00:46:52,880 --> 00:46:56,760 Speaker 1: who the secret between the time where we realize Secretary 972 00:46:56,800 --> 00:46:59,040 Speaker 1: of State and Speaker of House and then people are 973 00:46:59,040 --> 00:47:00,680 Speaker 1: gonna write us right after a d m Oh, you 974 00:47:00,760 --> 00:47:05,080 Speaker 1: just fixed it. We know morons. I even said, before 975 00:47:05,080 --> 00:47:07,480 Speaker 1: I said the wrong thing, I didn't know who she was. 976 00:47:08,480 --> 00:47:11,319 Speaker 1: Who the Secretary of State is? Now? Oh, yes they do. 977 00:47:12,239 --> 00:47:14,600 Speaker 1: I bet I would know it if you gave me 978 00:47:14,760 --> 00:47:18,279 Speaker 1: like three years right now? Can you give me the 979 00:47:18,280 --> 00:47:22,319 Speaker 1: first initial? Yes? A. There's just no way you know 980 00:47:22,440 --> 00:47:32,080 Speaker 1: that their first name is A. Do you know the gender? No? Okay, wait, 981 00:47:35,520 --> 00:47:37,919 Speaker 1: just because I've known the Secretary of State before, hasn't 982 00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:43,600 Speaker 1: the Secretary State been Condoleeza Rice? No? Right now? Hillary was? Yes, 983 00:47:43,680 --> 00:47:47,120 Speaker 1: that's right right now? Who? What's the what's the there's here? 984 00:47:47,440 --> 00:47:53,520 Speaker 1: What are the initials? A B, Austin, Austin Butler? The 985 00:47:53,600 --> 00:47:56,680 Speaker 1: last name kind of sounds like an involuntary thing that 986 00:47:56,760 --> 00:48:01,680 Speaker 1: we all do. Burp. Here's what I'm doing when I'm flirting? 987 00:48:02,320 --> 00:48:05,560 Speaker 1: What do I do when I flare with a guy? Blink? Yes? 988 00:48:07,920 --> 00:48:12,880 Speaker 1: Anderson blink Anthony blinken Never have heard of him in 989 00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:16,400 Speaker 1: my life. That makes me feel so good that there 990 00:48:16,440 --> 00:48:18,600 Speaker 1: there's no way that I would have ever conjured that. 991 00:48:18,760 --> 00:48:21,160 Speaker 1: Did you? Have you guys heard of that name? Talk 992 00:48:21,239 --> 00:48:26,320 Speaker 1: about the four one. This weekend we met a state 993 00:48:26,520 --> 00:48:32,000 Speaker 1: senator for Illinois. What's his name? Mike Hastings Michael Hastings, 994 00:48:32,640 --> 00:48:36,359 Speaker 1: state Senator. No, how many how many state senators are 995 00:48:36,400 --> 00:48:42,680 Speaker 1: there as many of there are states? Actually know there's more. 996 00:48:43,600 --> 00:48:46,480 Speaker 1: There's there's two senators per state and then the House 997 00:48:46,480 --> 00:48:49,279 Speaker 1: of Representatives. It's like, you know, based on population or 998 00:48:49,320 --> 00:48:52,400 Speaker 1: size of state or whatever, you have like local senators 999 00:48:52,480 --> 00:48:54,839 Speaker 1: or something like that. I didn't know that ship. So 1000 00:48:54,960 --> 00:48:57,759 Speaker 1: I meet this guy and he's a state senator. I'm like, 1001 00:48:57,800 --> 00:49:00,160 Speaker 1: I've never met a senator. This is so cool. I 1002 00:49:00,200 --> 00:49:02,480 Speaker 1: was like, I feel like I'm on veep. I went 1003 00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:04,719 Speaker 1: up to him. I was like, what about this reform bill? 1004 00:49:04,760 --> 00:49:06,640 Speaker 1: Are we getting it past? Like? I was so excited 1005 00:49:06,680 --> 00:49:09,200 Speaker 1: to be v per second and then now wait home. 1006 00:49:09,239 --> 00:49:11,000 Speaker 1: I was like, it's cool. How many senators have you 1007 00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:12,719 Speaker 1: guys met? This pretty awesome. He's like, well, it's a 1008 00:49:12,760 --> 00:49:15,279 Speaker 1: state senator. I go, I know there's two per state. 1009 00:49:15,360 --> 00:49:18,319 Speaker 1: That's like, there's only you know, a hundred senators And 1010 00:49:18,320 --> 00:49:20,520 Speaker 1: he was like, no, it's a state center. I go, 1011 00:49:20,640 --> 00:49:23,720 Speaker 1: what the funk are you saying? And there is state 1012 00:49:23,760 --> 00:49:27,920 Speaker 1: senators because they have their own Congress or whatever per state. 1013 00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:30,640 Speaker 1: That there's state senators and then there's and then there's 1014 00:49:30,640 --> 00:49:33,000 Speaker 1: just senators and I'm telling you, if you want to 1015 00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:36,280 Speaker 1: get a ton of political pussy, become a state senator, 1016 00:49:36,320 --> 00:49:38,440 Speaker 1: because no one thinks you're a state senator. They just 1017 00:49:38,440 --> 00:49:42,840 Speaker 1: think you're a senator. I didn't know they were separate senators. 1018 00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:46,480 Speaker 1: You didn't refused. I'm confused. I don't know any of this, 1019 00:49:46,680 --> 00:49:49,200 Speaker 1: and so many people I can feel your judgment. Who 1020 00:49:49,239 --> 00:49:53,560 Speaker 1: are these listeners? You? We should know this, but we 1021 00:49:53,560 --> 00:49:56,600 Speaker 1: were what we did not educated properly. Well, you should 1022 00:49:56,680 --> 00:49:58,840 Speaker 1: educate yourself. I don't know. It's not gonna stick. I'm 1023 00:49:59,440 --> 00:50:02,799 Speaker 1: only too senators per state. There are hundred senators all 1024 00:50:02,800 --> 00:50:05,600 Speaker 1: at all, But does that mean that there are more 1025 00:50:05,640 --> 00:50:09,320 Speaker 1: there are other senators or those maybe he is important. 1026 00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:12,799 Speaker 1: No state senators are at the state level, so even 1027 00:50:12,800 --> 00:50:17,040 Speaker 1: the state has a like a so a state. The 1028 00:50:17,080 --> 00:50:19,600 Speaker 1: senators you're talking about are for the United States, there's 1029 00:50:19,640 --> 00:50:23,120 Speaker 1: two per state and the Washington d C. And then 1030 00:50:23,200 --> 00:50:25,360 Speaker 1: there's the state ones who can come to your shows 1031 00:50:25,400 --> 00:50:28,440 Speaker 1: and see you because their local. Yeah, and there's probably 1032 00:50:28,600 --> 00:50:31,120 Speaker 1: two per county or something. I don't even know. But 1033 00:50:31,120 --> 00:50:35,000 Speaker 1: but all I'm saying is like you would think it 1034 00:50:35,080 --> 00:50:37,440 Speaker 1: was like it would like be like saying you're in 1035 00:50:37,560 --> 00:50:40,560 Speaker 1: Destiny's Child. But you were like auditioned for it or something. 1036 00:50:40,600 --> 00:50:42,040 Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know what, or like you 1037 00:50:42,080 --> 00:50:43,800 Speaker 1: were the girl that was in it for like one week. 1038 00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:47,600 Speaker 1: It's like we were falling all over ourselves. I was like, Senator, 1039 00:50:48,239 --> 00:50:50,200 Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I know it is a big deal, but 1040 00:50:50,280 --> 00:50:52,120 Speaker 1: I thought it was one of the hundred. I think 1041 00:50:52,120 --> 00:50:54,719 Speaker 1: how many states senators are there? And then we'll see 1042 00:50:54,719 --> 00:50:59,080 Speaker 1: how impressive it was. I was blown away how dumb 1043 00:50:59,120 --> 00:51:03,000 Speaker 1: I am when it comes to politics. Someone said recently, 1044 00:51:03,480 --> 00:51:07,319 Speaker 1: there's some joke made about no, I don't vote. I'm 1045 00:51:07,360 --> 00:51:12,239 Speaker 1: not what. I forget what the joke was. What? Oh 1046 00:51:12,280 --> 00:51:14,120 Speaker 1: I saw that too? Who was it? Wait? Where do 1047 00:51:14,160 --> 00:51:16,960 Speaker 1: we see that? Was that on It's Nerdy? Oh? It 1048 00:51:17,040 --> 00:51:20,640 Speaker 1: was it? Karen Fiehan, Yes, oh my god, we say 1049 00:51:20,680 --> 00:51:24,040 Speaker 1: this on the same clip. She was like, that's for nerds. Yeah. 1050 00:51:24,120 --> 00:51:26,120 Speaker 1: She was like, because she's like, I vote with my 1051 00:51:26,160 --> 00:51:29,040 Speaker 1: pussy now, just kidding, I don't vote. Voting is for nerves. 1052 00:51:29,080 --> 00:51:31,480 Speaker 1: She was joking about her only fans and how it's 1053 00:51:31,600 --> 00:51:36,200 Speaker 1: changed her like voter status. She has money now she's 1054 00:51:36,200 --> 00:51:39,920 Speaker 1: a new tax bracket and changed how she votes. I 1055 00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:43,239 Speaker 1: love it. Karen fihan comedian does only fans. Fuck yes, 1056 00:51:43,239 --> 00:51:46,120 Speaker 1: and she's making more money than all of us probably, 1057 00:51:46,520 --> 00:51:48,120 Speaker 1: I know what are we doing with our lives. I 1058 00:51:48,200 --> 00:51:49,719 Speaker 1: gotta get on there and see what she's up to. 1059 00:51:49,840 --> 00:51:52,399 Speaker 1: I bet so many of her subscribers are just people 1060 00:51:52,400 --> 00:51:56,000 Speaker 1: who are curious. You know, she's got a lot of goods. 1061 00:51:56,320 --> 00:51:59,880 Speaker 1: I like her. Weares that she's she's freaking awesome. She's badass. 1062 00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:01,799 Speaker 1: I was telling Chris about her last night. Actually, I 1063 00:52:01,800 --> 00:52:03,440 Speaker 1: was like, Oh, we gotta look at Karen Fan. You're 1064 00:52:03,440 --> 00:52:08,960 Speaker 1: gonna love her because she's just like sexy and so funny. 1065 00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:14,000 Speaker 1: I was telling about Karen what the fuck? And it 1066 00:52:14,120 --> 00:52:16,840 Speaker 1: was yesterday r R y N. For anyone who's f 1067 00:52:17,080 --> 00:52:20,359 Speaker 1: had f e h A N. She's so funny. She's 1068 00:52:20,360 --> 00:52:22,239 Speaker 1: to be on you Up a lot um when we 1069 00:52:22,280 --> 00:52:25,279 Speaker 1: did the serious show, She's great. She's gonna come to 1070 00:52:25,320 --> 00:52:28,720 Speaker 1: my show at the Beacon in New York and hangbackstage. 1071 00:52:29,120 --> 00:52:33,800 Speaker 1: She's just like no nonsense, nice but like also really intimidating, 1072 00:52:34,239 --> 00:52:37,879 Speaker 1: so funny, and she does only fans, so fun yeah, 1073 00:52:38,040 --> 00:52:40,360 Speaker 1: and she holds nothing back. Remember she had that breakup 1074 00:52:40,400 --> 00:52:41,960 Speaker 1: when we were talking about it on You Up and 1075 00:52:41,960 --> 00:52:45,360 Speaker 1: she told us every detail and how much she hated 1076 00:52:45,440 --> 00:52:47,279 Speaker 1: him and she had just broken up with him like 1077 00:52:47,320 --> 00:52:50,719 Speaker 1: the day before, and then I think she didn't want 1078 00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:53,239 Speaker 1: and she she's sober too, and she has do not 1079 00:52:53,440 --> 00:52:59,040 Speaker 1: serve on her wrist. Oh yeah, tattoo. Yeah, she's fucking great. Um, 1080 00:52:59,080 --> 00:53:02,279 Speaker 1: I love anyone that's out is that bold and out there. 1081 00:53:02,360 --> 00:53:04,239 Speaker 1: I'm trying to be more so. But the more that 1082 00:53:04,320 --> 00:53:06,640 Speaker 1: I think of, like just saying it like it is, 1083 00:53:06,680 --> 00:53:08,799 Speaker 1: I even get scared about talking about Gwyneth. I'm like, 1084 00:53:08,880 --> 00:53:11,000 Speaker 1: someday I'm going to meet her and be like I 1085 00:53:11,040 --> 00:53:13,320 Speaker 1: love you, and be like, I hope you've never seen 1086 00:53:13,400 --> 00:53:19,279 Speaker 1: the episode from Tuesday, January six or whatever day it's 1087 00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:21,319 Speaker 1: going to be when this air is like, I do 1088 00:53:21,440 --> 00:53:25,920 Speaker 1: have those fears, but Karen doesn't seem to give a fuck. 1089 00:53:26,880 --> 00:53:28,720 Speaker 1: But yeah, have you ever been in a fight before? 1090 00:53:29,760 --> 00:53:32,839 Speaker 1: Have you ever gotten assaulted? I feel like Noah has 1091 00:53:32,880 --> 00:53:35,960 Speaker 1: a yes on this. Noah probably doesn't in training. I 1092 00:53:36,040 --> 00:53:40,160 Speaker 1: do it in training, And I wanted to say that it's. Um, 1093 00:53:40,239 --> 00:53:43,560 Speaker 1: you told the story about your dad getting into an 1094 00:53:43,640 --> 00:53:46,840 Speaker 1: argument with his friend and you gave him very sage advice, 1095 00:53:47,320 --> 00:53:49,680 Speaker 1: which was dead. Just drop it. It's not worth it 1096 00:53:50,160 --> 00:53:53,240 Speaker 1: because what happens to your corticil levels and the stress 1097 00:53:53,280 --> 00:53:56,560 Speaker 1: that you put on yourself with his friends, and he's old, 1098 00:53:56,680 --> 00:54:00,439 Speaker 1: he can't take a punch if you If you think 1099 00:54:00,440 --> 00:54:03,240 Speaker 1: about like how you feel after you get really angry, 1100 00:54:03,280 --> 00:54:06,320 Speaker 1: Like did you feel really exhausted when you gone home? 1101 00:54:06,960 --> 00:54:10,840 Speaker 1: I felt invigorated. No, I felt like I felt really 1102 00:54:12,120 --> 00:54:14,359 Speaker 1: I felt good because I felt like I won because 1103 00:54:14,360 --> 00:54:17,480 Speaker 1: I got the last moment, But after it, I felt 1104 00:54:17,600 --> 00:54:19,960 Speaker 1: I was worried about Chris being embarrassed because I don't 1105 00:54:19,960 --> 00:54:21,480 Speaker 1: want him to think he has like a white trash 1106 00:54:21,520 --> 00:54:23,840 Speaker 1: girlfriend that's like trying to get in fight. So I felt, 1107 00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:26,000 Speaker 1: but you know what, Chris kind of likes when I 1108 00:54:26,040 --> 00:54:28,040 Speaker 1: get like that. He I've only said it twice in 1109 00:54:28,040 --> 00:54:30,959 Speaker 1: my life where I was like, I I said about 1110 00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:33,359 Speaker 1: Andrew Tate, and I said about this other woman who 1111 00:54:33,400 --> 00:54:35,280 Speaker 1: was trying to like get in the way of our relationship, 1112 00:54:35,320 --> 00:54:37,600 Speaker 1: and I was like, I want to kick him in 1113 00:54:37,640 --> 00:54:39,800 Speaker 1: the fucking throat. I said that about Andrew Tate the 1114 00:54:39,840 --> 00:54:41,719 Speaker 1: other night. I was like, He's one guy that I 1115 00:54:41,760 --> 00:54:44,120 Speaker 1: would fear would be like you're ugly and old, and 1116 00:54:44,160 --> 00:54:46,399 Speaker 1: I'm like, no, I wouldn't give a fun I want 1117 00:54:46,400 --> 00:54:50,280 Speaker 1: to kick him in the throat. I've never really wanted 1118 00:54:50,280 --> 00:54:52,000 Speaker 1: to be that violent to anyone. And then there was 1119 00:54:52,040 --> 00:54:54,200 Speaker 1: this other girl that I used to just joke with Chris, 1120 00:54:54,200 --> 00:54:55,960 Speaker 1: and I wasn't joking. I was like, I want to 1121 00:54:55,960 --> 00:54:58,840 Speaker 1: fight her. I'm hard to fight. So what I was 1122 00:54:58,880 --> 00:55:01,920 Speaker 1: gonna say, I know, you get winded, like all this 1123 00:55:02,000 --> 00:55:04,200 Speaker 1: adrenaline comes up and it's great and you have this 1124 00:55:04,239 --> 00:55:07,719 Speaker 1: burst of energy, but then you are exhausted. It's not 1125 00:55:07,960 --> 00:55:10,040 Speaker 1: it's not like in the movie. No one ever looks 1126 00:55:10,080 --> 00:55:12,879 Speaker 1: cool after a fight. But I like wanting to fight. 1127 00:55:12,960 --> 00:55:16,040 Speaker 1: I like that adrenaline. I think it's like, I'm gonna 1128 00:55:16,160 --> 00:55:18,480 Speaker 1: fucking do it. I guess I don't really want it 1129 00:55:18,520 --> 00:55:20,000 Speaker 1: to happen, but I don't. I don't want to win 1130 00:55:20,040 --> 00:55:21,560 Speaker 1: a fight. I just want someone to punch me and 1131 00:55:21,560 --> 00:55:23,680 Speaker 1: then I look like the winner because I didn't fight back, 1132 00:55:23,719 --> 00:55:25,840 Speaker 1: because I don't think violence is the answer. So I 1133 00:55:25,960 --> 00:55:29,040 Speaker 1: kind of I want them to prove what losers they 1134 00:55:29,080 --> 00:55:32,520 Speaker 1: are and then get arrested and then have to like 1135 00:55:32,760 --> 00:55:35,120 Speaker 1: they she loses custody of her fucking child that I 1136 00:55:35,120 --> 00:55:37,360 Speaker 1: know what she has and is abandoning and trying to 1137 00:55:37,400 --> 00:55:41,719 Speaker 1: find the people's desks. Yeah, yeah, that's what I want. 1138 00:55:41,840 --> 00:55:45,040 Speaker 1: But if good a copy of Alan Carr's book, you 1139 00:55:45,080 --> 00:55:48,359 Speaker 1: could have just dropped it in her lap. She can't read. 1140 00:55:49,560 --> 00:55:53,239 Speaker 1: This woman was just the biggest fucking more. And as 1141 00:55:53,239 --> 00:55:55,440 Speaker 1: someone who does not know who the Speaker of the 1142 00:55:55,440 --> 00:55:58,640 Speaker 1: House was or who Nancy Pelosi was, I admit I'm 1143 00:55:58,640 --> 00:56:01,560 Speaker 1: not the smartest to in the fucking crayon box, but 1144 00:56:01,719 --> 00:56:05,920 Speaker 1: I am I at least she was one of the 1145 00:56:05,960 --> 00:56:08,759 Speaker 1: dumbest people ever. And she was also so drunk. And 1146 00:56:09,120 --> 00:56:11,280 Speaker 1: here's this other thing. I don't understand. If you're drunk, 1147 00:56:12,320 --> 00:56:14,719 Speaker 1: I know that you're drunk. I used to be a 1148 00:56:14,800 --> 00:56:17,040 Speaker 1: drunk too. Okay, when you get out of hand and 1149 00:56:17,080 --> 00:56:20,160 Speaker 1: you get too drunk, I know that you're embarrassing. I 1150 00:56:20,200 --> 00:56:21,759 Speaker 1: have a little voice in the back of your head 1151 00:56:21,800 --> 00:56:24,279 Speaker 1: that says you're drunk, You're embarrassing. When I used to 1152 00:56:24,320 --> 00:56:26,960 Speaker 1: get black out drunk, I knew when the world started spinning, 1153 00:56:27,520 --> 00:56:29,560 Speaker 1: I knew I was embarrassing people. I knew I was 1154 00:56:29,600 --> 00:56:32,520 Speaker 1: embarrassing myself, and I would try to like crawl off 1155 00:56:32,560 --> 00:56:34,600 Speaker 1: and die alone in the corner. I would try to 1156 00:56:34,640 --> 00:56:38,160 Speaker 1: isolate myself from the mayhem. But people were showing up 1157 00:56:38,200 --> 00:56:41,680 Speaker 1: that shows this weekend fucking wasted and be like naked 1158 00:56:42,960 --> 00:56:46,359 Speaker 1: out and grabbing me. One girl grabbed me so hard 1159 00:56:46,480 --> 00:56:51,080 Speaker 1: she her head slammed into mine. I felt concussed. She 1160 00:56:51,320 --> 00:56:54,239 Speaker 1: ran at me, She ran and was like beastie and 1161 00:56:54,520 --> 00:56:56,400 Speaker 1: I can't even believe she was a bustie and shout 1162 00:56:56,400 --> 00:56:58,920 Speaker 1: out to you pick up that Alan carbook. But she 1163 00:56:59,000 --> 00:57:00,920 Speaker 1: was so sweet, but she ran up slam my head 1164 00:57:00,960 --> 00:57:02,839 Speaker 1: and then she grabbed my head graceful and she goes, 1165 00:57:03,280 --> 00:57:05,600 Speaker 1: I just want you to be more delicate with yourself 1166 00:57:06,320 --> 00:57:08,719 Speaker 1: with yourself, and I'm like, you literally just concustom me 1167 00:57:08,760 --> 00:57:11,320 Speaker 1: to the point that Matt On your boyfriend was about 1168 00:57:11,360 --> 00:57:14,720 Speaker 1: to call the security guard over and like and afterwards 1169 00:57:14,760 --> 00:57:16,880 Speaker 1: he was like, are you okay? And this woman told 1170 00:57:16,920 --> 00:57:18,720 Speaker 1: me to be more gentle with myself. I was like, 1171 00:57:18,880 --> 00:57:22,360 Speaker 1: the irony, just I just were you guys, we'll get 1172 00:57:22,360 --> 00:57:24,040 Speaker 1: back from the break. I want to know on you 1173 00:57:24,120 --> 00:57:27,080 Speaker 1: were you kind of drunk that you were like proud 1174 00:57:27,160 --> 00:57:31,760 Speaker 1: and loud, being a really embarrassed drunk and knowing that yes, 1175 00:57:31,800 --> 00:57:33,640 Speaker 1: I need this thing. But I'm also like, I'm that 1176 00:57:33,720 --> 00:57:36,720 Speaker 1: kind of pothead. I know what I'm doing is obnoxious. 1177 00:57:36,760 --> 00:57:39,720 Speaker 1: To others. I don't like blowing smoke in other people's faces. 1178 00:57:39,760 --> 00:57:42,840 Speaker 1: I'm very cognizant of how annoying my addiction is. What 1179 00:57:42,920 --> 00:57:46,840 Speaker 1: happened to being a little bit of a empathetic addict. 1180 00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:49,360 Speaker 1: Let's talk about that when we get back us fan thracks. 1181 00:57:52,160 --> 00:57:55,720 Speaker 1: Like the other day I was engaging in some pot 1182 00:57:55,760 --> 00:57:58,440 Speaker 1: smoking with a friend and they did not seem to 1183 00:57:58,480 --> 00:58:01,000 Speaker 1: care that there were people next to us that we're 1184 00:58:01,000 --> 00:58:02,480 Speaker 1: going to have to breathe in the smoke. And I 1185 00:58:02,560 --> 00:58:04,680 Speaker 1: was like, no, we can't do this here, there's people 1186 00:58:04,760 --> 00:58:06,680 Speaker 1: right there. And he's like, but it's it's pot smoke. 1187 00:58:06,760 --> 00:58:08,160 Speaker 1: It doesn't linger. And I know I just said it 1188 00:58:08,160 --> 00:58:10,240 Speaker 1: didn't linger in hotel rooms, it really doesn't. You click 1189 00:58:10,280 --> 00:58:13,439 Speaker 1: at it a cleaning, it does not linger. Cigarette smoke 1190 00:58:13,520 --> 00:58:16,160 Speaker 1: is different, but in public, I don't like to blow 1191 00:58:16,280 --> 00:58:18,840 Speaker 1: plumes of smoke in people's faces. I'm very embarrassed of 1192 00:58:18,880 --> 00:58:21,200 Speaker 1: this thing that I need to do that's inconveniencing other 1193 00:58:21,320 --> 00:58:24,960 Speaker 1: I know it's toxic any kind of smoke. The same 1194 00:58:25,000 --> 00:58:29,680 Speaker 1: with alcohol, like being loud or cigarettes, like just mindful 1195 00:58:29,720 --> 00:58:32,200 Speaker 1: of others? Did you when you drink you guys and 1196 00:58:32,240 --> 00:58:34,840 Speaker 1: would get belligerent. Were you aware of what a fucking 1197 00:58:34,840 --> 00:58:40,080 Speaker 1: mess you were and embarrassing? Yes? I was aware. And 1198 00:58:40,440 --> 00:58:42,520 Speaker 1: you have to have appropriate shame, and you have to 1199 00:58:42,560 --> 00:58:45,520 Speaker 1: have shame, like some appropriate shame. That's the word I'm 1200 00:58:45,520 --> 00:58:49,720 Speaker 1: looking for, just a little shame, dose of appropriate shame, 1201 00:58:49,840 --> 00:58:52,440 Speaker 1: like oh what did I do? The oh nose? The 1202 00:58:52,520 --> 00:58:54,200 Speaker 1: next morning I would be like, what did I do? 1203 00:58:54,240 --> 00:58:57,440 Speaker 1: But when you're drinking, it's always magnified, so you always 1204 00:58:57,440 --> 00:58:59,600 Speaker 1: think you are so much worse than you actually were, 1205 00:58:59,680 --> 00:59:02,200 Speaker 1: at least maybe women do. I don't know. I think 1206 00:59:02,280 --> 00:59:04,400 Speaker 1: it's they think it's I think they don't know how 1207 00:59:04,440 --> 00:59:07,200 Speaker 1: bad it is. I think everything is amplified. But that's 1208 00:59:07,200 --> 00:59:10,400 Speaker 1: why people scream so loud, because your senses get old 1209 00:59:10,400 --> 00:59:15,040 Speaker 1: when you're drinking, because you get more dumb word but 1210 00:59:15,360 --> 00:59:17,120 Speaker 1: you know the R word. You get more of that 1211 00:59:17,160 --> 00:59:19,600 Speaker 1: when you drink. So you're not getting more brave. You're 1212 00:59:19,600 --> 00:59:22,360 Speaker 1: not getting more brazen. You're not like getting liquid courage. 1213 00:59:22,360 --> 00:59:25,680 Speaker 1: You're getting more are Okay. That's what happens to your brain. 1214 00:59:25,720 --> 00:59:28,520 Speaker 1: It's closer and closer to being shut down. So that's 1215 00:59:28,520 --> 00:59:30,440 Speaker 1: why you're more like I'm gonna dance like an idiot 1216 00:59:30,440 --> 00:59:33,360 Speaker 1: and feel free to like celebrate and like live it up. 1217 00:59:33,400 --> 00:59:35,800 Speaker 1: It's because you're getting stupider, you know, like people that 1218 00:59:35,840 --> 00:59:38,240 Speaker 1: have mental handicaps and how they're a little bit more 1219 00:59:38,280 --> 00:59:42,640 Speaker 1: free with hugs and enthusiasm, and they like things more 1220 00:59:42,640 --> 00:59:45,440 Speaker 1: and they scream what they like things. You know what 1221 00:59:45,480 --> 00:59:47,960 Speaker 1: I'm talking about, the things we can't make fun of. 1222 00:59:48,240 --> 00:59:50,920 Speaker 1: You know, the enthusiasm that people that have mental handicaps 1223 00:59:50,960 --> 00:59:54,240 Speaker 1: have for life. That's you when you're drunk. There's no difference, okay, 1224 00:59:54,280 --> 00:59:57,200 Speaker 1: it's it means you aren't as smart, you don't have intelligence, 1225 00:59:57,240 --> 01:00:00,480 Speaker 1: you don't have a moral compass is not more a compass, 1226 01:00:00,520 --> 01:00:03,560 Speaker 1: but just so you just so, that's why people scream, 1227 01:00:03,640 --> 01:00:08,120 Speaker 1: is like everything's deadened. Their ears are deadened there, their 1228 01:00:08,200 --> 01:00:11,560 Speaker 1: senses are deadened. I don't feel like but I don't 1229 01:00:11,600 --> 01:00:13,280 Speaker 1: think the thing that went away. There was always a 1230 01:00:13,360 --> 01:00:15,480 Speaker 1: little bit of a glimmer in me, my little like 1231 01:00:16,320 --> 01:00:18,320 Speaker 1: a little candle inside of me that was like, you're 1232 01:00:18,360 --> 01:00:21,080 Speaker 1: embarrassing right now, because I think I grew up seeing 1233 01:00:21,120 --> 01:00:26,200 Speaker 1: so much embarrassing alcoholism that I knew no matter what's happening, 1234 01:00:26,480 --> 01:00:29,600 Speaker 1: take it. Just pull back a little bit. Even though 1235 01:00:29,640 --> 01:00:32,160 Speaker 1: you feel like this is the right move. That's why 1236 01:00:32,160 --> 01:00:35,560 Speaker 1: everyone who drinks wants everyone around them to drink yes, 1237 01:00:35,720 --> 01:00:39,080 Speaker 1: so that they can let that. So there's no witnesses. 1238 01:00:39,280 --> 01:00:44,080 Speaker 1: But now there's CCTV cameras and there's there's videos. There's 1239 01:00:44,120 --> 01:00:45,920 Speaker 1: a one way that I ever got someone in my 1240 01:00:45,960 --> 01:00:47,800 Speaker 1: life to quit drinking was to show them a video 1241 01:00:47,840 --> 01:00:50,160 Speaker 1: of themselves when they were drunk, and they were like, 1242 01:00:51,280 --> 01:00:53,360 Speaker 1: and then they stopped for a really long time. Yeah. 1243 01:00:53,360 --> 01:00:56,120 Speaker 1: It actually it gets people to start. It doesn't it 1244 01:00:56,120 --> 01:00:59,000 Speaker 1: doesn't last, but it is a quick fix. If you 1245 01:00:59,080 --> 01:01:03,240 Speaker 1: need someone to like kind of get sober fast, is 1246 01:01:03,280 --> 01:01:06,240 Speaker 1: to show them how bad they're because you don't know 1247 01:01:06,680 --> 01:01:08,200 Speaker 1: when you're drunk. You look in the mirror and you're like, 1248 01:01:08,240 --> 01:01:11,720 Speaker 1: I'm freaking hot, I'm entertaining, I'm sexier, like i've I've 1249 01:01:11,760 --> 01:01:13,760 Speaker 1: never felt better about myself than That's why when I 1250 01:01:13,800 --> 01:01:17,680 Speaker 1: watched The Real Housewives, I'm always shocked that, like months later, 1251 01:01:17,880 --> 01:01:20,000 Speaker 1: when they've had all this time to look back and 1252 01:01:20,040 --> 01:01:24,160 Speaker 1: watch the episodes, these women will like, Sonia clearly has 1253 01:01:24,200 --> 01:01:28,240 Speaker 1: a drinking problem so bad, and then she'll just double 1254 01:01:28,280 --> 01:01:30,560 Speaker 1: down on it and be like, no, I was fine, 1255 01:01:30,600 --> 01:01:32,800 Speaker 1: I was having fun. Everyone needs to lighten up. It's 1256 01:01:32,840 --> 01:01:35,720 Speaker 1: like she does not have any guess she's not watching 1257 01:01:35,760 --> 01:01:39,760 Speaker 1: the episodes they show clips. They'll be like, what was 1258 01:01:39,800 --> 01:01:43,160 Speaker 1: this reunion? It's probably drunk when they show them. I'm 1259 01:01:43,160 --> 01:01:45,439 Speaker 1: not kidding you, Like I've been that way before with 1260 01:01:46,080 --> 01:01:48,240 Speaker 1: stuff where you don't want to see it because you're 1261 01:01:48,280 --> 01:01:50,160 Speaker 1: not ready to give it up to you know, like 1262 01:01:50,200 --> 01:01:54,520 Speaker 1: you just you cannot. Yeah, I think it. And but 1263 01:01:54,600 --> 01:01:58,200 Speaker 1: the problem is the only antidote to feeling terrible about 1264 01:01:58,240 --> 01:02:02,840 Speaker 1: how much you drank is what drinking more? Yes, yeah, 1265 01:02:02,920 --> 01:02:05,480 Speaker 1: drinking more. That's all they have, you know, and that's 1266 01:02:05,560 --> 01:02:07,439 Speaker 1: the only thing they can reach to to feel better. 1267 01:02:07,440 --> 01:02:10,160 Speaker 1: They don't have good friends, they don't have a support system. 1268 01:02:10,160 --> 01:02:12,360 Speaker 1: They have a husband that's probably cheating on them, they 1269 01:02:12,400 --> 01:02:15,080 Speaker 1: don't their daughters fucking hate them. They have no So 1270 01:02:15,120 --> 01:02:17,440 Speaker 1: when they're feeling anxious, they gotta go to the And 1271 01:02:17,440 --> 01:02:19,840 Speaker 1: it's so ironic because you're feeling anxious about the thing 1272 01:02:20,440 --> 01:02:23,720 Speaker 1: that made you feel anxious in the first like you 1273 01:02:23,760 --> 01:02:26,800 Speaker 1: have to. That's that's your safety blanket, that's causing you 1274 01:02:26,880 --> 01:02:29,440 Speaker 1: the pain, And that's fucking addiction for you actually have 1275 01:02:29,520 --> 01:02:33,880 Speaker 1: a practice. Oh yes you do. Let's get to it. 1276 01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:47,200 Speaker 1: All right, great, m okay, let's um get Lauren's take 1277 01:02:47,280 --> 01:02:50,920 Speaker 1: on this. My sister, Hi, Nikki, and know this is Lauren. 1278 01:02:51,720 --> 01:02:55,200 Speaker 1: I've been listening since you updates, and I just feel 1279 01:02:55,200 --> 01:02:57,440 Speaker 1: like I really need to say thank you to Nikki 1280 01:02:57,640 --> 01:03:03,600 Speaker 1: for always being so open and real when talking about alcohol, um, 1281 01:03:03,640 --> 01:03:07,440 Speaker 1: in regards to your personal life and society as a whole. 1282 01:03:08,160 --> 01:03:11,520 Speaker 1: I was a heavy drinker for years, and I feel 1283 01:03:11,520 --> 01:03:15,280 Speaker 1: like you were kind of planting sobriety seeds in my 1284 01:03:15,360 --> 01:03:20,160 Speaker 1: head um the whole time I've been listening to you. Uh. 1285 01:03:20,200 --> 01:03:23,720 Speaker 1: And then this past summer when my boyfriend was hospitalized 1286 01:03:23,760 --> 01:03:27,840 Speaker 1: for a week because of his alcohol consumption, I felt 1287 01:03:27,840 --> 01:03:30,479 Speaker 1: like I had you in the back of my head 1288 01:03:30,600 --> 01:03:34,200 Speaker 1: and the advice and resources you have given on this 1289 01:03:34,240 --> 01:03:39,280 Speaker 1: podcast um to help me sober up and help him 1290 01:03:39,320 --> 01:03:44,120 Speaker 1: sober up. So seriously, thank you, And just a reminder 1291 01:03:44,200 --> 01:03:47,919 Speaker 1: to everyone out there. I'm young, he's young. I'm twenty five, 1292 01:03:48,240 --> 01:03:52,640 Speaker 1: he's thirty five. Yes, I have an old soul, um, 1293 01:03:52,680 --> 01:03:55,880 Speaker 1: But just a reminder that alcohol can really funk you up, 1294 01:03:55,880 --> 01:03:59,080 Speaker 1: even when you're young, and I think a lot of 1295 01:03:59,080 --> 01:04:04,320 Speaker 1: people don't remember that anyway. Thank you. Jack Daniels almost 1296 01:04:04,360 --> 01:04:11,400 Speaker 1: killed my boyfriend. Oh my god, dude, UM, that's so 1297 01:04:11,560 --> 01:04:15,400 Speaker 1: awesome to hear. Thank you so much, and it's yeah, 1298 01:04:15,520 --> 01:04:18,439 Speaker 1: I think it's it's just good to have. That's why 1299 01:04:18,640 --> 01:04:20,840 Speaker 1: I do a little messaging here and there, because it 1300 01:04:20,920 --> 01:04:23,120 Speaker 1: just takes some time sometimes for things to get through, 1301 01:04:23,160 --> 01:04:25,160 Speaker 1: and even for me, like I fall back on stuff 1302 01:04:25,200 --> 01:04:28,440 Speaker 1: like I you know, no one's perfect, of I was 1303 01:04:28,520 --> 01:04:30,760 Speaker 1: lucky enough to just not touch alcohol after I gave 1304 01:04:30,800 --> 01:04:33,200 Speaker 1: it up. But even if you're struggling to quit and 1305 01:04:33,200 --> 01:04:36,240 Speaker 1: it's not that easy for you, just keeping the ball 1306 01:04:36,320 --> 01:04:38,840 Speaker 1: up in the air of talking about how it's just 1307 01:04:39,080 --> 01:04:41,360 Speaker 1: isn't the answer to your problems and it isn't as 1308 01:04:41,400 --> 01:04:43,600 Speaker 1: much fun as you've convinced yourself it is. And all 1309 01:04:43,680 --> 01:04:48,280 Speaker 1: these things that are you unequivocally true about alcohol are 1310 01:04:48,400 --> 01:04:50,800 Speaker 1: nice to know. It's so you're so inspiring to me 1311 01:04:50,840 --> 01:04:54,200 Speaker 1: ave to be done and to help your boyfriend through that. 1312 01:04:54,200 --> 01:04:58,000 Speaker 1: That's so fucking cool. I hope he's doing. Wow, it 1313 01:04:58,040 --> 01:05:01,919 Speaker 1: took me two more, It took me seven to say 1314 01:05:01,960 --> 01:05:07,200 Speaker 1: goodbye to it. And and the more that I live, 1315 01:05:07,480 --> 01:05:10,120 Speaker 1: the more it just gets easier and easier, because it's 1316 01:05:10,160 --> 01:05:13,160 Speaker 1: just you get pulled over. You don't worry about anything. 1317 01:05:13,320 --> 01:05:15,560 Speaker 1: You're never gonna be drunk when you get pulled over. 1318 01:05:15,680 --> 01:05:19,600 Speaker 1: That's a whole thing. You you forget someone's name, don't 1319 01:05:19,640 --> 01:05:21,480 Speaker 1: worry you weren't drunk. You don't have to feel like 1320 01:05:21,520 --> 01:05:24,080 Speaker 1: an asshole. You don't remember stories someone told you you 1321 01:05:24,120 --> 01:05:26,720 Speaker 1: weren't drunk. It's it wasn't your fault that you don't remember. 1322 01:05:26,760 --> 01:05:29,360 Speaker 1: It wasn't an interesting story. Like you don't realize all 1323 01:05:29,400 --> 01:05:31,600 Speaker 1: the things that the shame you carry around when you 1324 01:05:31,760 --> 01:05:34,880 Speaker 1: drink too much of like that you just are free 1325 01:05:34,920 --> 01:05:36,520 Speaker 1: from when you when you just don't have it as 1326 01:05:36,560 --> 01:05:40,000 Speaker 1: an option to like always shoot on yourself about. So 1327 01:05:40,240 --> 01:05:44,160 Speaker 1: that's so cool, Lauren, thank you for sharing that. Okay um. 1328 01:05:44,200 --> 01:05:47,000 Speaker 1: On one of the Redded Dumps, we talked about finding 1329 01:05:47,080 --> 01:05:50,400 Speaker 1: hair and food. Oh yeah, so this is a response 1330 01:05:50,440 --> 01:05:53,200 Speaker 1: to that from Marissa. It just made me gaggle Massa. 1331 01:05:54,160 --> 01:05:57,600 Speaker 1: I was just listening to your episode about the Redded 1332 01:05:57,680 --> 01:06:01,760 Speaker 1: Dump about the hair and hair really doesn't gross me 1333 01:06:01,800 --> 01:06:06,840 Speaker 1: out at all. In fact, something my partner, my girlfriend 1334 01:06:07,440 --> 01:06:11,840 Speaker 1: hates it is literally so disgusted by about me is 1335 01:06:11,920 --> 01:06:17,520 Speaker 1: that I use my hair to floss when there's no 1336 01:06:17,600 --> 01:06:21,840 Speaker 1: floss available. You have strong hair so I just wanted 1337 01:06:21,880 --> 01:06:25,080 Speaker 1: to let you know, but that is an option. Oh 1338 01:06:25,120 --> 01:06:28,560 Speaker 1: my god, aren't grossed out by hair. This woman doesn't 1339 01:06:28,600 --> 01:06:34,040 Speaker 1: color her hair. That is incredible. But she what kind 1340 01:06:34,040 --> 01:06:36,880 Speaker 1: of hair do you think she has? Send us your hair? Yeah, 1341 01:06:36,920 --> 01:06:39,160 Speaker 1: you want to see a picture. I need some new floss. 1342 01:06:40,480 --> 01:06:44,640 Speaker 1: It's that is awesome because my hair would break immediately. 1343 01:06:44,680 --> 01:06:46,280 Speaker 1: And there have been times where I've thought, you know, 1344 01:06:46,400 --> 01:06:48,479 Speaker 1: maybe I could because you get something caught in your tooth. 1345 01:06:48,800 --> 01:06:51,800 Speaker 1: I've been awesome, but I feel like my hair would 1346 01:06:51,800 --> 01:06:54,200 Speaker 1: get caught in my tooth and then i'd have a backup. 1347 01:06:54,240 --> 01:06:58,400 Speaker 1: There will be a bumper to bumper ship my teeth. Um. 1348 01:06:58,480 --> 01:07:02,680 Speaker 1: That is so funny. And I remember someone on some 1349 01:07:02,760 --> 01:07:05,280 Speaker 1: show being like, you think that's a bad first date. 1350 01:07:05,320 --> 01:07:08,080 Speaker 1: I went without without with a guy who leaned across 1351 01:07:08,120 --> 01:07:09,600 Speaker 1: the table and pulled out one of my hairs and 1352 01:07:09,680 --> 01:07:12,360 Speaker 1: started flossing with it. And I always it's in some 1353 01:07:12,440 --> 01:07:14,760 Speaker 1: kind of movie or show I really like, And I 1354 01:07:14,800 --> 01:07:18,160 Speaker 1: always thought that is the worst line. No one would 1355 01:07:18,160 --> 01:07:20,439 Speaker 1: ever do that on a first date. But I guess 1356 01:07:20,520 --> 01:07:22,080 Speaker 1: you're someone want a first date with you could, but 1357 01:07:22,080 --> 01:07:23,840 Speaker 1: if they pulled out your hair, that would be insane. 1358 01:07:24,800 --> 01:07:27,640 Speaker 1: At that joke. It got me. I forget what it's from. 1359 01:07:27,680 --> 01:07:29,800 Speaker 1: I wish I could find the reference, but whenever it 1360 01:07:29,840 --> 01:07:31,720 Speaker 1: comes up, I'm always like, I'll ignore this joke. The 1361 01:07:31,760 --> 01:07:35,200 Speaker 1: rest of the show is amazing. Um, all right, next up, okay, 1362 01:07:35,320 --> 01:07:41,680 Speaker 1: next up. Uh, we have renee hies. So I am 1363 01:07:41,720 --> 01:07:44,040 Speaker 1: a therapist. No brag, but I just wanted to say, 1364 01:07:44,400 --> 01:07:47,320 Speaker 1: based on your guys conversations about you know, worrying about 1365 01:07:47,360 --> 01:07:48,880 Speaker 1: what people think, if people don't like me, I have 1366 01:07:48,920 --> 01:07:50,480 Speaker 1: a rule for my clients, and that is, if you 1367 01:07:50,480 --> 01:07:54,160 Speaker 1: wouldn't take their advice, you don't take their criticism. I 1368 01:07:54,200 --> 01:07:58,240 Speaker 1: hope you can't buy that rule. I also talk. My 1369 01:07:58,320 --> 01:08:01,080 Speaker 1: doctor shared a story with me where, um, she had 1370 01:08:01,120 --> 01:08:03,640 Speaker 1: a patient who was like in her seventies and she 1371 01:08:03,800 --> 01:08:07,480 Speaker 1: was due for a pelvic exam or whatever. And she 1372 01:08:07,520 --> 01:08:09,440 Speaker 1: shows up and lays on the table and it's all 1373 01:08:09,480 --> 01:08:12,760 Speaker 1: giggly and my doctor, you know, spreads are open to 1374 01:08:12,800 --> 01:08:16,719 Speaker 1: get in there, and the patient yells out tea time 1375 01:08:17,360 --> 01:08:19,680 Speaker 1: and had pulled had put a tea bag up her 1376 01:08:19,720 --> 01:08:22,519 Speaker 1: pussy for my my doctor to find, and just thought 1377 01:08:22,520 --> 01:08:24,920 Speaker 1: it was the funniest thing and couldn't stop laughing at herself. 1378 01:08:24,960 --> 01:08:28,000 Speaker 1: So I just had to share that because I mean, 1379 01:08:28,720 --> 01:08:31,639 Speaker 1: I can see my real life half going that way 1380 01:08:31,680 --> 01:08:34,479 Speaker 1: at seventy to show Tea bags up my cooter for 1381 01:08:34,520 --> 01:08:38,559 Speaker 1: a laugh. But anyway, so much she's doing what you 1382 01:08:38,600 --> 01:08:42,960 Speaker 1: do and take the care girl than Tee. Was it 1383 01:08:43,080 --> 01:08:45,960 Speaker 1: steeped or had it not been steep guessing that well, 1384 01:08:46,000 --> 01:08:48,160 Speaker 1: I'm guessing if she was in her seventies, that thing 1385 01:08:48,240 --> 01:08:53,519 Speaker 1: was dry as a fucking pair of fresh socks. Yeah, 1386 01:08:53,920 --> 01:08:56,840 Speaker 1: that is so funny, and it really because I've been 1387 01:08:56,840 --> 01:08:58,599 Speaker 1: talking about when I pulled out a tamp on wefter, 1388 01:08:58,840 --> 01:09:00,559 Speaker 1: Like one time I was in I have a joke 1389 01:09:00,600 --> 01:09:03,360 Speaker 1: where I talk about masturbating and I kind of forgot 1390 01:09:03,360 --> 01:09:04,719 Speaker 1: I had a tamp on it and then I wanted 1391 01:09:04,720 --> 01:09:06,439 Speaker 1: to like funk myself, and so I had to pull 1392 01:09:06,439 --> 01:09:08,519 Speaker 1: out the tampon and I didn't. I didn't want to 1393 01:09:08,640 --> 01:09:11,320 Speaker 1: walk into the bathroom before I masturbated, because you know, 1394 01:09:11,920 --> 01:09:13,640 Speaker 1: when you're ready to fund yourself, you just want it. 1395 01:09:13,680 --> 01:09:16,240 Speaker 1: So I just said it on top of something on 1396 01:09:16,280 --> 01:09:20,920 Speaker 1: my desk beside table. I don't want to give away 1397 01:09:20,960 --> 01:09:22,240 Speaker 1: the whole joke, so I said it on top of 1398 01:09:22,240 --> 01:09:24,160 Speaker 1: something because I didn't want it like touching. But it's 1399 01:09:24,160 --> 01:09:26,200 Speaker 1: a bloody tampon that I like. But I was going 1400 01:09:26,240 --> 01:09:28,120 Speaker 1: to throw it away, like it's not like I was 1401 01:09:28,160 --> 01:09:31,080 Speaker 1: like leaving it there for like decor, right, But I 1402 01:09:31,120 --> 01:09:32,960 Speaker 1: said at one point in it, I go, I don't 1403 01:09:32,960 --> 01:09:34,640 Speaker 1: want to walk into the bathroom like holding like a 1404 01:09:34,680 --> 01:09:36,599 Speaker 1: dead mouse. And people aftert that that was a Sarah 1405 01:09:36,640 --> 01:09:38,679 Speaker 1: Lena line. She once said that, um, a guy pulled 1406 01:09:38,680 --> 01:09:40,519 Speaker 1: out a tampon when they were like having they're about 1407 01:09:40,520 --> 01:09:41,760 Speaker 1: to have sex, and he was like, she was like, 1408 01:09:41,760 --> 01:09:43,360 Speaker 1: it looked like he was like carrying a dead mouse. 1409 01:09:43,360 --> 01:09:44,720 Speaker 1: And I was thought that was funny. But now I 1410 01:09:44,720 --> 01:09:47,320 Speaker 1: have a new one of like a steeped tea bag. 1411 01:09:48,520 --> 01:09:52,600 Speaker 1: It's so funny. And I bet she I mean, that 1412 01:09:52,640 --> 01:09:54,320 Speaker 1: old woman had not worn a tamp on for a while, 1413 01:09:54,360 --> 01:09:56,519 Speaker 1: so she just want to put something up there. And 1414 01:09:56,640 --> 01:09:59,439 Speaker 1: I want, as someone who once put a gummy of 1415 01:09:59,600 --> 01:10:02,040 Speaker 1: sugar gummy worm up my vagina, to go pick up 1416 01:10:02,080 --> 01:10:03,559 Speaker 1: my boyfriend who I knew was going to finger me 1417 01:10:03,600 --> 01:10:05,679 Speaker 1: within seconds of getting in the car, and I knew 1418 01:10:05,720 --> 01:10:07,760 Speaker 1: he liked gummy worms and was probably hungry from his 1419 01:10:07,960 --> 01:10:13,479 Speaker 1: long trip across America. That I like a good vagina surprise, 1420 01:10:14,760 --> 01:10:17,320 Speaker 1: U like like what are those little kinderballs or whatever, 1421 01:10:17,600 --> 01:10:23,320 Speaker 1: or like inside there's just like kinder balls and inside 1422 01:10:23,360 --> 01:10:29,200 Speaker 1: it's like a little like Lego, Pikachu or something. A girlfriend. Yeah, fun, 1423 01:10:29,720 --> 01:10:34,640 Speaker 1: I mean some fun stuff. Final thought, Chris and I have. 1424 01:10:34,760 --> 01:10:36,840 Speaker 1: I have so much fun. I'm just like give me it. 1425 01:10:36,960 --> 01:10:38,880 Speaker 1: Like I do this thing where I'll just like try 1426 01:10:38,920 --> 01:10:41,960 Speaker 1: to grab his you know thing, and I just go like, 1427 01:10:42,160 --> 01:10:44,160 Speaker 1: but give it to me, like I want it. Like 1428 01:10:44,200 --> 01:10:46,479 Speaker 1: I start like complaining, like this will be in public, 1429 01:10:46,520 --> 01:10:48,840 Speaker 1: and I'm like when I want it, and He's like, 1430 01:10:48,880 --> 01:10:50,680 Speaker 1: but like, what are you gonna do with it right now? 1431 01:10:50,680 --> 01:10:52,479 Speaker 1: I'm just like just give it to me, and I 1432 01:10:52,520 --> 01:10:55,519 Speaker 1: still keep trying to get it. Um. He also was 1433 01:10:55,560 --> 01:10:58,479 Speaker 1: tickled by what kind of funny stuff have I done with? 1434 01:10:58,520 --> 01:11:02,240 Speaker 1: I mean so much, there have been so many. There's 1435 01:11:02,280 --> 01:11:06,160 Speaker 1: a I oftentimes, like early on in our relationship, by 1436 01:11:06,640 --> 01:11:09,760 Speaker 1: like was naked under this like robe thing because we 1437 01:11:09,800 --> 01:11:11,519 Speaker 1: met when I was doing a TV show and on 1438 01:11:11,520 --> 01:11:13,120 Speaker 1: this TV show, we would get our hair and makeup 1439 01:11:13,120 --> 01:11:15,000 Speaker 1: done in these velvet robes and then we would change 1440 01:11:15,000 --> 01:11:18,280 Speaker 1: it do our like you know, binding wardrobe. And one 1441 01:11:18,320 --> 01:11:20,280 Speaker 1: time I went to go meet him like somewhere in 1442 01:11:20,280 --> 01:11:22,680 Speaker 1: this building because he had worked there at MTV for 1443 01:11:22,680 --> 01:11:24,320 Speaker 1: a while, so he knew like all these like edit 1444 01:11:24,360 --> 01:11:27,599 Speaker 1: bays that were abandoned. We had just started sneaking around 1445 01:11:27,640 --> 01:11:28,920 Speaker 1: and fooling around. He was like made me on the 1446 01:11:28,920 --> 01:11:30,719 Speaker 1: seventeen floor and I went up there and he's like, yeah, 1447 01:11:30,760 --> 01:11:32,240 Speaker 1: so when we're gonna show you his edit down here, 1448 01:11:32,240 --> 01:11:33,760 Speaker 1: when I was acting like I was gonna go look 1449 01:11:33,760 --> 01:11:35,439 Speaker 1: at a cut of a thing, and then we went 1450 01:11:35,479 --> 01:11:37,439 Speaker 1: in there and he thought I was going to have 1451 01:11:37,479 --> 01:11:39,240 Speaker 1: like clothes on underneath, and I opened up and it 1452 01:11:39,280 --> 01:11:40,760 Speaker 1: was like nothing. And so that's always been like a 1453 01:11:40,880 --> 01:11:42,680 Speaker 1: very thrilling thing is where he thinks that I have 1454 01:11:42,720 --> 01:11:45,040 Speaker 1: clothes underneath something Like the other day I met him 1455 01:11:45,080 --> 01:11:46,880 Speaker 1: in a garage to give him keys to my car, 1456 01:11:47,520 --> 01:11:49,040 Speaker 1: and I put on a trench coat because it was 1457 01:11:49,080 --> 01:11:51,360 Speaker 1: like the appropriate weather for it, and I put on 1458 01:11:51,400 --> 01:11:54,880 Speaker 1: this really slutty thing underneath that um I had bought 1459 01:11:55,000 --> 01:11:57,760 Speaker 1: for the Strip Club Surprise, you know that I did 1460 01:11:57,800 --> 01:12:00,759 Speaker 1: in London, but it had arrived really lay. It was Amazon, 1461 01:12:01,400 --> 01:12:04,559 Speaker 1: and it's like Taylor was like cleaning my room and 1462 01:12:04,600 --> 01:12:08,759 Speaker 1: she goes what he's It was just like a tangle 1463 01:12:08,760 --> 01:12:10,760 Speaker 1: of strings and I'm like, oh, it's the slut way 1464 01:12:10,840 --> 01:12:12,800 Speaker 1: I got. So I put it on once for him. 1465 01:12:12,840 --> 01:12:15,360 Speaker 1: It looked amazing, Like I was like, oh, this is great. 1466 01:12:15,720 --> 01:12:17,799 Speaker 1: So I went down there to give him the keys 1467 01:12:18,400 --> 01:12:20,840 Speaker 1: and we got into an argument like while I was 1468 01:12:20,880 --> 01:12:23,160 Speaker 1: giving him the keys, and like it was just over 1469 01:12:23,280 --> 01:12:26,320 Speaker 1: something dumb, but we were just it was tense, right, 1470 01:12:26,360 --> 01:12:27,680 Speaker 1: like I was like, well, why would you say that? 1471 01:12:27,720 --> 01:12:29,000 Speaker 1: And he's like, but why would you say that? And 1472 01:12:29,040 --> 01:12:30,920 Speaker 1: so we're like in the middle, and so it's at 1473 01:12:30,920 --> 01:12:33,120 Speaker 1: a point where it's like we have to go, and 1474 01:12:33,120 --> 01:12:35,120 Speaker 1: he's like, Okay, well I guess i'll see tomorrow, and 1475 01:12:35,160 --> 01:12:39,439 Speaker 1: I go, I want to I have I have a 1476 01:12:39,439 --> 01:12:41,400 Speaker 1: surprise for you, and he was like what. And I'm like, 1477 01:12:42,439 --> 01:12:45,920 Speaker 1: just like, there's I'm dressed all slutty underneath this and 1478 01:12:45,960 --> 01:12:47,800 Speaker 1: he's like wait what. And I was just gonna flash 1479 01:12:47,880 --> 01:12:51,200 Speaker 1: him like in my parking garage and he's like you are, 1480 01:12:51,240 --> 01:12:53,640 Speaker 1: and I go, can I just show you? And he's like, 1481 01:12:53,800 --> 01:12:56,680 Speaker 1: I think it'd be better when we're like better and 1482 01:12:56,680 --> 01:12:59,519 Speaker 1: I go, I go no, he goes, I think it'd 1483 01:12:59,560 --> 01:13:01,120 Speaker 1: be better when we could actually like touch each other. 1484 01:13:01,160 --> 01:13:03,040 Speaker 1: Because he couldn't spend the night he was like, what 1485 01:13:03,120 --> 01:13:05,080 Speaker 1: about when we can actually like do something with it, 1486 01:13:05,120 --> 01:13:07,760 Speaker 1: and I go, but just like now please, and he 1487 01:13:07,840 --> 01:13:10,280 Speaker 1: was like really like I think it'd be better, and 1488 01:13:10,280 --> 01:13:15,519 Speaker 1: I go, just for your spank bank. And it was 1489 01:13:15,600 --> 01:13:17,960 Speaker 1: so good because it got him out of like whatever 1490 01:13:18,040 --> 01:13:19,439 Speaker 1: mood he was in. He was like kind of mad 1491 01:13:19,479 --> 01:13:21,880 Speaker 1: at me. Probably I was mad at him, but he 1492 01:13:21,960 --> 01:13:23,679 Speaker 1: was like annoyed with me, and it just like cut 1493 01:13:23,760 --> 01:13:25,640 Speaker 1: him out of it because I go, it was for 1494 01:13:25,720 --> 01:13:28,240 Speaker 1: your spank bank, meaning like you can think about it 1495 01:13:28,320 --> 01:13:30,479 Speaker 1: later and dirt off. And then I just like unbuttoned 1496 01:13:30,520 --> 01:13:33,080 Speaker 1: it and like opened up and he was like that 1497 01:13:33,160 --> 01:13:34,800 Speaker 1: is really good, and then he and then we just 1498 01:13:34,840 --> 01:13:36,679 Speaker 1: parted ways. It was like a drug deal, but where 1499 01:13:36,720 --> 01:13:40,280 Speaker 1: I just showed him like a tit um. Do you 1500 01:13:40,320 --> 01:13:42,559 Speaker 1: have little fun things like that ever, like just like 1501 01:13:42,680 --> 01:13:48,840 Speaker 1: horny jokes? No, I can't think of them because you're 1502 01:13:48,880 --> 01:13:51,880 Speaker 1: like I don't. I don't think I have any. All 1503 01:13:51,960 --> 01:13:55,759 Speaker 1: mine are like goofy, like just working in the kitchen 1504 01:13:55,800 --> 01:13:58,640 Speaker 1: out of nowhere. That's cute. I just had one the 1505 01:13:58,680 --> 01:14:01,640 Speaker 1: other day, like just say something to Avy and then 1506 01:14:01,640 --> 01:14:03,280 Speaker 1: I'll just like really quickly, I'll be like oh, and 1507 01:14:03,320 --> 01:14:05,280 Speaker 1: then you're gonna come in a face later, and I 1508 01:14:05,400 --> 01:14:12,120 Speaker 1: was like, yes, yes, yes, that's so good. And then 1509 01:14:12,160 --> 01:14:14,800 Speaker 1: like the casually like we'll go to home depot and 1510 01:14:14,840 --> 01:14:17,360 Speaker 1: then we gotta get that we gotta plug in that 1511 01:14:17,520 --> 01:14:20,400 Speaker 1: new um, you know, the new faucet and have that 1512 01:14:20,439 --> 01:14:22,479 Speaker 1: so and then you come on my face like like that. 1513 01:14:22,600 --> 01:14:29,479 Speaker 1: It's exactly started to think of had another one. I 1514 01:14:29,520 --> 01:14:33,639 Speaker 1: always just after sex and like, oh god, that was good. 1515 01:14:33,640 --> 01:14:37,320 Speaker 1: I'm always just like momy like and he's just like stopping. 1516 01:14:37,479 --> 01:14:40,960 Speaker 1: I'm just like, oh god, I feel like I just 1517 01:14:41,080 --> 01:14:43,400 Speaker 1: gave birth. Like I'll just say weird ship that He's 1518 01:14:43,439 --> 01:14:46,240 Speaker 1: just like I don't even know what any of that means, 1519 01:14:46,920 --> 01:14:49,479 Speaker 1: but it's obviously like I'm just like kind of I'm 1520 01:14:49,560 --> 01:14:55,519 Speaker 1: like five stars formidable performance. I'm just like call Cisco neighbor, 1521 01:14:55,600 --> 01:14:58,040 Speaker 1: because that's one's getting in the books. Like I just 1522 01:14:58,080 --> 01:15:02,840 Speaker 1: say weird ship, but like it's and I have, um, 1523 01:15:02,880 --> 01:15:07,920 Speaker 1: I screenshot it, um whoever makes our stills for the 1524 01:15:07,960 --> 01:15:11,920 Speaker 1: YouTube video Baravo. They always look so good. And the 1525 01:15:11,960 --> 01:15:14,559 Speaker 1: other day they had Chris's and I was like on 1526 01:15:14,640 --> 01:15:17,240 Speaker 1: my YouTube looking at my new you know, the new 1527 01:15:17,320 --> 01:15:19,080 Speaker 1: videos put up, and I saw Chris's face, and I 1528 01:15:19,120 --> 01:15:21,720 Speaker 1: was like, that guy's fucking hot and I was like, 1529 01:15:21,800 --> 01:15:25,040 Speaker 1: it's fine, and it was so nice. And then I 1530 01:15:25,080 --> 01:15:27,320 Speaker 1: sent him a picture and I go, uh, we have 1531 01:15:27,360 --> 01:15:29,400 Speaker 1: a problem. There's like too hot of a guy on 1532 01:15:29,439 --> 01:15:32,800 Speaker 1: YouTube and we have to pull this video. So and 1533 01:15:32,920 --> 01:15:34,880 Speaker 1: he was like loved it, thank you, and I was like, 1534 01:15:34,920 --> 01:15:37,720 Speaker 1: I'm not kidding you. Look at this. This is not okay. 1535 01:15:38,040 --> 01:15:40,640 Speaker 1: Things need to change. Rapiats just getting mad about how 1536 01:15:40,840 --> 01:15:44,040 Speaker 1: he was and then I um put that I screenshot 1537 01:15:44,120 --> 01:15:48,880 Speaker 1: at that still and it's now my it's not it's 1538 01:15:48,880 --> 01:15:51,560 Speaker 1: not my spake bank, it's on my phone. It replaced 1539 01:15:51,880 --> 01:15:54,880 Speaker 1: Leon Sealy and his baby and because his face just 1540 01:15:54,920 --> 01:15:57,400 Speaker 1: looks so cute and we didn't even talk about how 1541 01:15:57,479 --> 01:16:00,080 Speaker 1: into his fucking hair, how sexual it is to me 1542 01:16:00,160 --> 01:16:03,240 Speaker 1: when he was on. But um, it was good. It 1543 01:16:03,320 --> 01:16:05,519 Speaker 1: was so fun. Well, so this has been the show. 1544 01:16:05,800 --> 01:16:08,000 Speaker 1: Fan tax was amazing. Thank you all for listening, Thank 1545 01:16:08,000 --> 01:16:10,120 Speaker 1: you for coming to shows. This week, I'm gonna be 1546 01:16:10,120 --> 01:16:12,720 Speaker 1: in New Haven, Connecticut, and then I'm going to be 1547 01:16:13,400 --> 01:16:17,400 Speaker 1: in um New York City at the Beacon Theater on Saturday. 1548 01:16:17,600 --> 01:16:20,599 Speaker 1: Tickets available still to each shows, I think, but they 1549 01:16:20,640 --> 01:16:22,720 Speaker 1: are running low. So if you want to go, and 1550 01:16:22,760 --> 01:16:24,000 Speaker 1: also if you want to do a meet and greet, 1551 01:16:24,080 --> 01:16:26,479 Speaker 1: just message me UM in my d M s and 1552 01:16:26,560 --> 01:16:30,120 Speaker 1: let me know and UM And then just announced I'm 1553 01:16:30,160 --> 01:16:32,240 Speaker 1: doing a kind of I don't think you'd call it 1554 01:16:32,240 --> 01:16:35,639 Speaker 1: a residency, but I have force weekends of dates with 1555 01:16:35,720 --> 01:16:41,360 Speaker 1: David Spade in Las Vegas at the Venetian and that 1556 01:16:41,520 --> 01:16:46,360 Speaker 1: is so exciting. Sale for that started today on Tuesday, UM, 1557 01:16:46,400 --> 01:16:48,240 Speaker 1: and you can get the link at my So like, 1558 01:16:48,320 --> 01:16:50,280 Speaker 1: if you want to plan a trip to Vegas, plan 1559 01:16:50,400 --> 01:16:51,920 Speaker 1: it around these shows. I want to do shows that 1560 01:16:52,000 --> 01:16:54,120 Speaker 1: David Spade the rest of my life, so please let's 1561 01:16:54,120 --> 01:16:56,599 Speaker 1: sell us out. So it's me and David Spade April 1562 01:16:58,640 --> 01:17:02,040 Speaker 1: July one, September twenty nine, thirty, November seventeenth and eighteenth, 1563 01:17:02,120 --> 01:17:04,760 Speaker 1: So get your gals together, get your guys together, come 1564 01:17:04,800 --> 01:17:07,360 Speaker 1: out and see us in Vegas. Pre sale is on now. 1565 01:17:07,520 --> 01:17:10,479 Speaker 1: You can find that at my Instagram. And don't Peke 1566 01:17:10,880 --> 01:17:13,920 Speaker 1: and Jack Daniels