Speaker 1: Call It What It Is with Jessica Capshaw and Camille Luddington,
Speaker 1: an iHeartRadio podcast. Hello, Hello, Hello, Call It Crew. Today
Speaker 1: is a very special day.
Speaker 2: It is a very special day. We have such a
Speaker 2: fun guest.
Speaker 1: I'm so excited. I'm such a huge fan of hers.
Speaker 1: She manages to just extract the funniest, funniest shit from
Speaker 1: this wild game of that we're calling parenting.
Speaker 3: I think that, like, I think that, like one in
Speaker 3: five of the text messages that you send me is
Speaker 3: a link to something that she's just posted.
Speaker 1: It could be true, it could be true. Yeah, that
Speaker 1: sounds like a proper ratio. She's I'm a big fan.
Speaker 1: Her name is Kaitlin Murray. She is I mean, I
Speaker 1: want to call her a comedian, but that is not
Speaker 1: what she is by trade. She just I just personally
Speaker 1: believe that she is in the profession of making me laugh.
Speaker 2: So therefore she's hysterical. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yes, And much of her content is about parenting, but
Speaker 1: it's also rich in just her perspective on all things.
Speaker 2: And I'm very.
Speaker 1: Grateful to have her here today and I can't wait
Speaker 1: to ask her all the things.
Speaker 2: Let's bring her in.
Speaker 1: Hi, Hello, and welcome we started off by talking about you,
Speaker 1: and Camilla said, what'd you say, Camilla about how many times?
Speaker 3: I said, well, like one in five of the text
Speaker 3: messages address sends me is a link to your page
Speaker 3: and something hystericalol that you've done. I found you through her,
Speaker 3: and now we're both obsessed with your content because we're
Speaker 3: parents in the thick of it and we and it
Speaker 3: just makes me laugh in the middle of my day.
Speaker 2: I love it.
Speaker 4: That makes me feel so good. Thank you, that's so nice.
Speaker 1: Well, and I was saying that as much as clearly
Speaker 1: one of the biggest topics is parentsaranting, I I actually
Speaker 1: just I love your your commitment to when in the
Speaker 1: thick of the shit, finding a way to laugh and
Speaker 1: finding a way to sort of release some of the
Speaker 1: pressure that builds up in all of us as we
Speaker 1: endeavor to be adults. And that's and that's your perspective
Speaker 1: on all things. So I'm I'm again, I'm very grateful
Speaker 1: for that because it's really therapeutic. So you're also you're
Speaker 1: like a comedian and a therapist. In my mind.
Speaker 5: Wow, that's a that's a lot of rules. I am, yeah,
Speaker 5: I I you know it always just like I think
Speaker 5: we all feel ourselves like winding tighter than the top
Speaker 5: sometimes and it's like I'm I'm either gonna cry right
Speaker 5: now or I'm going to have to laugh at myself
Speaker 5: and the absurdity of this whole situation, like just so
Speaker 5: many times in life, especially with kids, because it's such
Speaker 5: a pressure cooker all the time, Like I I feel
Speaker 5: like I'm going insane every single day for at least
Speaker 5: part of the day.
Speaker 2: You are, we all are? We all are?
Speaker 3: Can you tell everyone listening how and why you started
Speaker 3: your account and you're endeavor into making us all laugh
Speaker 3: on social media?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Sure, it was. Actually it's sort of heavy.
Speaker 5: I was my son, who is my oldest he's ten now,
Speaker 5: was in treatment for leukemia from the time he was
Speaker 5: three years old until he was almost six and a half,
Speaker 5: and throughout that process, I had been writing emails to
Speaker 5: family and friends about our experience and everything we were
Speaker 5: going through when I was trying to do it with
Speaker 5: like a sense of humor and sort of an anecdotal
Speaker 5: spin on all of it. And that writing process was
Speaker 5: just something that I found to be very like, very
Speaker 5: therapeutic and cathartic during that time, just felt really good
Speaker 5: to just put that stuff down on paper and process
Speaker 5: it that way.
Speaker 4: And I eventually compiled it into.
Speaker 5: Like a blog, and a woman who lived in our
Speaker 5: town had who worked in editing, had said, let me
Speaker 5: show this to my publisher.
Speaker 4: And the publisher was like, that's fine.
Speaker 5: The writing is fine, but like this woman had no following,
Speaker 5: We have no idea who she is, Like she's we're
Speaker 5: not giving her a book deal, you know.
Speaker 4: So then I was kind of.
Speaker 5: Like, maybe I'll start an Instagram page and sort of
Speaker 5: take this show on the road, you know. And so
Speaker 5: that's why I started my page because I had I think.
Speaker 4: I was like, let's just see.
Speaker 5: What happens like if I if I did build the following,
Speaker 5: and maybe I will write a book someday or that
Speaker 5: kind of thing.
Speaker 3: So that's how I got That's how I got going,
Speaker 3: and it just exploded.
Speaker 1: It did, It really did. And once you got going,
Speaker 1: did you have did you think about topics for did
Speaker 1: you know what you were to say every time you
Speaker 1: hit record or were you like freestyling? Were you like
Speaker 1: how what was that process like for you?
Speaker 5: I mean I was just already losing my mind thinking
Speaker 5: about like the humor in all of it so much
Speaker 5: like every day I felt like there was I was
Speaker 5: sort of playing this all out in my head before
Speaker 5: I had an Instagram account, so it really just became
Speaker 5: an outlet for like my everyday thoughts, the things that
Speaker 5: I thinks that I had.
Speaker 4: Just been thinking all along.
Speaker 5: So answer the question, I definitely think when you get
Speaker 5: on Instagram and you get in front of like the camera,
Speaker 5: if you will, you got to be like a little
Speaker 5: bit ready to say what you're trying to spit out.
Speaker 4: Or else you sound.
Speaker 5: People will lose interest, right, Like, you have a short
Speaker 5: period of time in which to capture somebody's attention, and
Speaker 5: if you fuck that up, then they're gone and they'll
Speaker 5: never come back. So it's a skill I think, like
Speaker 5: I learned a little by little by little. And when
Speaker 5: I started, like reels weren't even a thing.
Speaker 4: So I don't know, Yeah, do you many?
Speaker 1: How many takes do you take?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's a good question.
Speaker 5: So all like the reels that I make where I
Speaker 5: just go on a rant about some topic of what
Speaker 5: the day, whatever it is that day, I actually like
Speaker 5: write it all down and like write out what I want.
Speaker 4: To say and how I want to say it.
Speaker 5: And I don't do like a little bit here and
Speaker 5: a little bit there and put all the clips together
Speaker 5: in one I say it all at once, so it's
Speaker 5: like a stream of like a one to one and
Speaker 5: a half minutes of just and that's actually like a
Speaker 5: lot of words in a small amount of time, you know, so.
Speaker 4: I probably, I mean, it depends. It depends on how
Speaker 4: many I mean, but.
Speaker 5: There are always multiple I never nail it like right away,
Speaker 5: so because sometimes it's like, oh, I want to change
Speaker 5: the emphasis on this word, or like the way I
Speaker 5: want to deliver this part of it, or I'll think
Speaker 5: of something else to throw in there.
Speaker 1: I feel like I really want access to your outtakes.
Speaker 3: Yeah, when did you When did you start to feel like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, people are actually watching this, like people
Speaker 3: are really following this account.
Speaker 5: So I think pretty early on I started to get
Speaker 5: some of the things that I was making shared. And
Speaker 5: that's like the secret to growing right. You create like
Speaker 5: a piece of relatable content and then it starts getting
Speaker 5: passed around to friends or whatever whatever.
Speaker 4: So you know, you start with nobody.
Speaker 5: You start with like the people who you told you
Speaker 5: were starting an account, like your ten friends or something
Speaker 5: like that.
Speaker 4: And then it.
Speaker 5: Grows and grows, and I think within the first like
Speaker 5: few months, I had maybe ten thousand.
Speaker 4: Followers or something like that.
Speaker 5: So it felt like that immediately felt like I had
Speaker 5: an audience, like I couldn't believe it.
Speaker 4: Really, that's huge.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I never imagined that it would be the size
Speaker 5: that it is now at all. I was thinking, like,
Speaker 5: that's completely out of the realm of possibility for a
Speaker 5: person that nobody knows outside of Instagram.
Speaker 4: But the world is a different place now.
Speaker 3: Do you kids know that you're making this content about them?
Speaker 2: Do they have feelings about it?
Speaker 5: My older kids know, and they see like a bunch
Speaker 5: of the stuff that I make, because a lot of
Speaker 5: the time it's making fun of my little guy Luki,
Speaker 5: Like it's a lot of like the ridiculousness of the
Speaker 5: little kid stuff, although sometimes it's all kids, Like I
Speaker 5: did this one the other day about how oblivious kids are,
Speaker 5: and like they'll just like my eight year old asked
Speaker 5: me to carry a water bottle in for her from
Speaker 5: the car the other day and I'm standing there with
Speaker 5: like fucking two arms full of groceries.
Speaker 4: I'm like, what's your problem? Kid? Like, can't you see
Speaker 4: I'm a little like, yeah, here as it is.
Speaker 1: I had that convertition yesterday where I was, tell me
Speaker 1: how you feel about this, So I skew a little
Speaker 1: like I will be two armsful and I'll have all
Speaker 1: of it, and I will be like setting myself on
Speaker 1: fire to keep everybody else warm. And then I'll realize
Speaker 1: that I'm actually I'm on fire. So that's not good
Speaker 1: for anybody, and I should get put out that fire.
Speaker 1: And then maybe I should ask them to do some things.
Speaker 1: And so I get, you know, really brave and just
Speaker 1: you know, leave shit on the floor, Like when it's
Speaker 1: on the floor, I don't pick it up, Like I'll
Speaker 1: just fucking leave it there. And then I'll be like, oh, well, okay,
Speaker 1: this is great because they're gonna see it and it's
Speaker 1: gonna pick it up. No, they don't see it, okay.
Speaker 1: So then I was like, all right, it wasn't in
Speaker 1: their flight pattern. I'm gonna need to adjust this thing
Speaker 1: to put it in their flight pattern. And once it
Speaker 1: is squarely in the path between them and their room
Speaker 1: that I I know they're going to multiple times a day, they're.
Speaker 2: Gonna see it.
Speaker 1: You'd be like, oh, that's my sweatshirt.
Speaker 2: I'm laughing at the optimism.
Speaker 5: I feel like you.
Speaker 4: Could put the sweatchhert right into their hands for them
Speaker 4: and they would put it back down on the ground
Speaker 4: like one second later, like, oh I saw something shining.
Speaker 5: Drop this shirt right from my tracks and go and
Speaker 5: see whatever that thing is. Like they are so like
Speaker 5: they just I don't even know when I learned how
Speaker 5: to clean up after like everybody or myself or whatever,
Speaker 5: Like when when shit started piling up and I.
Speaker 4: Was like, is somebody somebody can put this shit away?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I gathered some comfort. I had a real sit
Speaker 1: down with my mom and I was like, Mom, I'm
Speaker 1: very organized now what I feel like I wasn't always.
Speaker 1: She's like, you were terrible. You would leave your stuff everywhere.
Speaker 1: Things would like they'd be brand new and it'd be
Speaker 1: on the ground and I would be talking to you
Speaker 1: about privilege and I would be talking about this and
Speaker 1: all this. So anyways, I turned out fine, So there
Speaker 1: is hope. So, yes, they stepped over the sweatshirt, and
Speaker 1: you're correct. I didn't put it into their hands for
Speaker 1: them to do the thing that I wanted them to do.
Speaker 1: And then they came to me or after they didn't
Speaker 1: come to me. They did come to me. One of
Speaker 1: them came to me with a you know, I've run
Speaker 1: out of this thing that was important to them. And
Speaker 1: I was like, well when and she was like, ah,
Speaker 1: like four days ago. I was like, you ran out
Speaker 1: of this thing four days ago that you need like
Speaker 1: on the daily and you just and you like didn't.
Speaker 1: So I got into this tirade about like taking care
Speaker 1: of yourself and how there needs to be you need
Speaker 1: to be proud of the way that you take care
Speaker 1: of your Anyways, all of it was a total waste
Speaker 1: of time. Yea, And I really feel like you need
Speaker 1: to do with something on that what would not be
Speaker 1: a waste of time in order for me to explain
Speaker 1: to them the things that they need to do.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I don't know.
Speaker 5: I mean it's just I mean when I was in college,
Speaker 5: I threw away this like entire nice like look crusade
Speaker 5: pot that my mom had been like all this chili
Speaker 5: that she gave to me in and I let it
Speaker 5: sit in our like mini fridge in our dorm for
Speaker 5: I don't know, five months, And at the end of
Speaker 5: the school year, I was like, well, this is fucking disgusting.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna throw away the entire Yeah. And I did
Speaker 5: that as like a sophomore.
Speaker 4: In college, you know, like somewhat grown up. Yeah, Like I.
Speaker 5: Still wasn't doing things like properly. You're like taking care
Speaker 5: of shit at that point.
Speaker 1: So when you're going through all this stuff with your kids,
Speaker 1: do you do you swear in front of your kids?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 1: I think that's I think that's a smart choice. I didn't.
Speaker 4: I can't help it.
Speaker 3: No, I've had this conversation about swearing because I'm right now,
Speaker 3: I'm in the phrase where they're so little that I'm like, poopy,
Speaker 3: it's a bad word. Yeah, And then I could turn
Speaker 3: a mat and I'm like this, oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Well okay, So I've got my kids running range
Speaker 1: from eight to sixteen. So I've got three girls eight, twelve, thirteen,
Speaker 1: and then a boy who's sixteen. And again Luke absolutely
Speaker 1: like the S word was stupid forever, and his bedtime
Speaker 1: was seven until he was like fifteen, and now everything
Speaker 1: has changed, and the eight year old is like the
Speaker 1: most mature year old in the whole entire world. But
Speaker 1: sometimes now that they've advanced to the stage they're at
Speaker 1: I almost feel like I can't make my point without
Speaker 1: a curse word, like it's actually it's it's it's it's
Speaker 1: imperative that I use.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Also it's like a punctuation. It's like I'm knocking around.
Speaker 1: It means like, it means business. And I don't get
Speaker 1: mad a lot, so they know that when I say,
Speaker 1: like fish pick that up. Yeah, like a little a
Speaker 1: little alarm that goes off for them and they're like, oh,
Speaker 1: she's serious. So I was in that movio for like
Speaker 1: a twenty four hour period, and yesterday we were It
Speaker 1: was punctuated by the end of a car ride where
Speaker 1: I said, this is where I'm at. I'm sitting squarely
Speaker 1: here and I'm not moving like I am in this mood,
Speaker 1: and you guys need to get it together. And they said, well,
Speaker 1: so what are we supposed to do Differently? I was like,
Speaker 1: everything I say, you're supposed to say yes, ma'am, And
Speaker 1: they didn't.
Speaker 4: Good. Yeah, I do it in times of need that
Speaker 4: way too.
Speaker 5: Like I if everybody's going like batch crazy in the
Speaker 5: next room, I'll walk in there and be like, what
Speaker 5: the hell is going on in here? You know, like, yeah,
Speaker 5: that's not even really a curse word. But if I
Speaker 5: just I let an f bomber slip out here, here
Speaker 5: and there around them my older two, I just do it.
Speaker 5: At this point, I try to Maybe I might try
Speaker 5: to curb it a little bit in front of my
Speaker 5: five year old, but yeah, I.
Speaker 1: Think that's when I started losing it.
Speaker 2: I want to know if there are other parenting.
Speaker 3: Accounts online the just drive you crazy, Like, what is
Speaker 3: the content that you see out there for other parents
Speaker 3: that you're like, just shut up.
Speaker 4: There's so much of that.
Speaker 2: What is like the one that really grinds on you
Speaker 2: the most? I wanted to know.
Speaker 4: I can't name names, no, no, no, no, not.
Speaker 6: Names, but like the style, oh yeah, well anything that's
Speaker 6: like you know, I hate it annoys me when people
Speaker 6: start like either humble bragging.
Speaker 5: About things, you know, and like just say you're good
Speaker 5: at something. If you're good at something, don't be you know,
Speaker 5: that's not the time to be self deprecating.
Speaker 4: You're not doing this the right way.
Speaker 5: It's not funny, or like if if they're talking about
Speaker 5: their kind of a hot mess and a hot mess mom,
Speaker 5: but everything like in the house looks very clean and.
Speaker 3: They've got the Stanley and they're like I just, oh
Speaker 3: my god, it was such a hot mess, Like I
Speaker 3: just miss Pilate's like five minutes.
Speaker 4: And I'm like, you don't have to be a hot mess,
Speaker 4: Like no one's asking you to be a hot mess,
Speaker 4: Like just be yourself. You know that kind of stuff
Speaker 4: where there are.
Speaker 5: Some some parenting advice accounts drive me a little insane
Speaker 5: because it's kind of like there's gentle.
Speaker 3: I feel like there's gentle parenting, and then there's the
Speaker 3: parenting that's like beyond gentle. I don't know what that's called,
Speaker 3: but it's like permissive.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that is it?
Speaker 2: Permissive?
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's like the childlod like what is where I'm
Speaker 1: going to meet my child where they're at, which I
Speaker 1: there are pieces of that that are very valuable.
Speaker 3: But there are versions of the gentle parenting that I
Speaker 3: just feel like my kid would be like cue, like
Speaker 3: the house would be like it would just they would
Speaker 3: go rogue.
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, well I think that there there are things
Speaker 5: that like people are trying to sell you on for instance,
Speaker 5: and maybe they're well meaning and that kind.
Speaker 4: Of thing, but it's like that doesn't actually always can work.
Speaker 5: Like this isn't a book, you know, this is the
Speaker 5: real world, in real life, and every kid is different,
Speaker 5: and your approach to each kid has to be sort
Speaker 5: of tailored to them. And that doesn't mean like permisive
Speaker 5: parenting or whatever.
Speaker 4: But you know.
Speaker 5: I just those things that are just not realistic. I'm like,
Speaker 5: let's just be let's just call it what it.
Speaker 4: Is, call it what.
Speaker 1: But you know what, I hear that from you often
Speaker 1: because I think that when I look at my favorite
Speaker 1: of your reels a lot of the time, it's actually
Speaker 1: not necessarily it's not like the call to action with
Speaker 1: a parenting topic or a parenting issue. It's like it's like,
Speaker 1: why why does the world expect this from a mom
Speaker 1: or why does why why are people saying that.
Speaker 6: This is easy?
Speaker 1: Or like I loved your sleep like a baby? Like
Speaker 1: oh really, really, like.
Speaker 2: Should we really talk about what that is?
Speaker 1: And I think that that is what's you know again,
Speaker 1: we talk about this a lot because you know, our
Speaker 1: our aim and our goal is to create community where
Speaker 1: you don't feel alone. That your account. I think even
Speaker 1: if you're not going through that specific thing, you can
Speaker 1: you can identify with it, like you can see that
Speaker 1: there's struggle and that you're not alone in this thing
Speaker 1: that's being described, and you're so so good at that.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, it's so good at that. So I
Speaker 1: have to ask, where did get yourself a snack come from?
Speaker 4: I don't.
Speaker 5: I mean, I feel like it kind of came from
Speaker 5: my dad. Like my dad would always be like, let's
Speaker 5: have a snack. Let's get a snack. We need a snack,
Speaker 5: you know, And I feel like it's just a great
Speaker 5: sort of metaphor for life. When you're kind of freaking
Speaker 5: out about something or the shit's hitting the fan around
Speaker 5: you or whatever, it's sort of like, take a break.
Speaker 4: Yep, it's just a snack. You get calmed down, you.
Speaker 5: Get don't forget about yourself, like you know, nourish yourself
Speaker 5: a little bit along the way here.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is a burning question of mine because often
Speaker 1: your husband will come up in conversations and or some
Speaker 1: of the male female dynamics than in parenting or what's
Speaker 1: expected of one or the other. How does your how
Speaker 1: does your husband feel about all the posts? Does he
Speaker 1: feel accurately represented?
Speaker 5: Well, I mean I think that, like I really what
Speaker 5: I actually feel like. I never mentioned my husband very
Speaker 5: much at all intentionally, because I what I talk about
Speaker 5: is the pressure of being a mother and if that's
Speaker 5: if you, if you interpret that as a father being
Speaker 5: a certain way or not being a certain.
Speaker 4: Way, then so be it. Right.
Speaker 5: But in my like particular set of circumstances, like my
Speaker 5: husband works a very long day outside of the house.
Speaker 5: He's gone before anyone here wakes up, and he comes back.
Speaker 4: Usually around bedtime.
Speaker 5: So this has been our life since day one of
Speaker 5: having kids, so I really have had no choice but
Speaker 5: to be the everything for the most part day to
Speaker 5: day as mom. But I also know the way, like
Speaker 5: the things that society sort of expects out of women,
Speaker 5: and I think that the way that motherhood.
Speaker 4: Is valued truly is shitty. You know.
Speaker 5: It's like the whole narrative behind this is so joyful,
Speaker 5: and you are a man, you're a woman, and you
Speaker 5: are a maternal so this should be.
Speaker 4: Easy for you. There's no faster way to.
Speaker 5: Devalue everything that you're doing and saying that it's easy
Speaker 5: for you and joyful, right, Like, what the fuck is
Speaker 5: the merit in that? If it's all if it's so
Speaker 5: easy for us, if everything's so easy, there's no credit,
Speaker 5: you know, for you. But my husband thinks that I
Speaker 5: am funny, and he is also like, I'm also not
Speaker 5: your audience. So he's my number one supporter. He like,
Speaker 5: is very proud of me for putting myself out.
Speaker 4: There and for doing what I do.
Speaker 5: He's an awesome husband, an amazing dad, and his role
Speaker 5: in the family is as important as mine is. It's
Speaker 5: just that the typical male rule societally has gotten a
Speaker 5: lot more credit than the women.
Speaker 4: So I love what you just said.
Speaker 1: I just I love what you just said. I'd never
Speaker 1: thought about the fact that motherhood is meant to be
Speaker 1: something that is so that comes to a woman easily,
Speaker 1: or that it's innate, or that we're born with it,
Speaker 1: or that we just naturally can be caregivers in an
Speaker 1: easier way. I hadn't. I hadn't made that correlation between
Speaker 1: the perceived ease with it not having value, because again
Speaker 1: that the harder it is, the more you feel like
Speaker 1: you've earned something right, And so that is that's a
Speaker 1: wild that's a wild connection that you just made for me.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 1: And I think that also our society wants on some
Speaker 1: level for it to look easy or or or put
Speaker 1: it out there and say like this is the way
Speaker 1: to do it easily.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I mean, I think it's also one of those things
Speaker 5: if you if you flip the script to it being
Speaker 5: like the man, the man's side of things and what
Speaker 5: they've been sort of known for going out and working
Speaker 5: hard and going to work all day. And then this is,
Speaker 5: you know, like the very sort of nineteen fifties nineteen
Speaker 5: sixties housewife edition of what the views of motherhood was
Speaker 5: and what it was like to be a woman versus
Speaker 5: a man. And and they're going out and they're working
Speaker 5: so hard, so we need to value them and serve
Speaker 5: them and that kind of shit, and it's like, what
Speaker 5: the do you think I've been doing at home for
Speaker 5: the last twelve hours with everybody here, you know?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I remember there being a very because for their
Speaker 1: whole lives, except for Luke's first year, when I was
Speaker 1: not working outside the house. That's when I started saying
Speaker 1: people who work inside the house or work outside the house,
Speaker 1: because if you're staying at home with kids, you're definitely
Speaker 1: definitely working. You're working in a volunteer position, but you're working.
Speaker 1: And that's a really important thing I think to make
Speaker 1: note of. And also I remember when I then started
Speaker 1: going to work I remember it being kind of like
Speaker 1: the dirty little secret, because of course you'd be asked
Speaker 1: in interviews and everything else, like how do you balance
Speaker 1: it all? How do you do it all? How do
Speaker 1: you go to work and take care of the kids,
Speaker 1: And it's like, well, there's no balance, it's compromise. On
Speaker 1: any given day, I'm really good at my job and
Speaker 1: I'm probably not so great at being at home with
Speaker 1: the kids. And then another day I'll be really great
Speaker 1: at being a mom and I probably wasn't all in
Speaker 1: at work. But that's that's okay because hopefully it's evening
Speaker 1: itself out. But it's a really big distinction. I don't
Speaker 1: think people are gentle enough with themselves about it or
Speaker 1: give themselves enough credit if they are the full time
Speaker 1: caregiver at home.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and you know, I mean I'm not I'm not
Speaker 5: trying to make this into like a feminist Durant podcast episode,
Speaker 5: Like nobody's ever asked a dad how they balance it all.
Speaker 4: You know, it's not a question that posed.
Speaker 5: So it's just there's a lot of differences between what
Speaker 5: it's like to be a woman and what it's like
Speaker 5: to be a man, and I think that's kind of
Speaker 5: with a sense of humor to like make it palatable
Speaker 5: for everybody. Is what I really aim to do, is
Speaker 5: to show that, like this is not all rainbows and
Speaker 5: unicorns and you know, trips to the zoo and beautiful,
Speaker 5: precious moments throughout it all day every day, Like there's
Speaker 5: a ton of shit going on.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Caitlyn, I want to know if there's ever been
Speaker 3: a moment that you have regretted getting on social media.
Speaker 2: Has there ever been.
Speaker 3: A day or like a reel that you've posted where
Speaker 3: you're or just some some way that you feel maybe
Speaker 3: more exposed or something like that where it feels vulnerable.
Speaker 3: I don't know if there has there ever been that
Speaker 3: moment for you.
Speaker 5: To a very small extent, yes, But I think the
Speaker 5: overarching feeling of like I like what I'm doing here
Speaker 5: and that I feel purpose with it overrides like anything
Speaker 5: that's been negative surrounding my experience, and the positives far
Speaker 5: outweigh the negatives.
Speaker 3: I'm so curious to like, out of everything you've posted,
Speaker 3: what has gotten the most traction, Like, what's gotten the
Speaker 3: most views, like of all of you, because there's so dancing, No,
Speaker 3: I feel like there's got to be some dancing that's
Speaker 3: gotten some I mean, you are one badass dancer dancing.
Speaker 4: There's a lot of that. It's really good.
Speaker 1: Kayly.
Speaker 3: Is there one specific thing that everyone just just like
Speaker 3: hit everyone?
Speaker 5: Well, I think there are some things that like were
Speaker 5: recently I posted something about like napping my kid's playmate,
Speaker 5: and that one sort of like for some reasons in
Speaker 5: all different like a bunch of people reposted it and publications.
Speaker 5: We're talking about it, an article about it and all this.
Speaker 3: Yes, I talked, by the way, I talk about this
Speaker 3: with parents all the time. I don't remember my parents
Speaker 3: being a playmate with me.
Speaker 2: I have no recollection of my mart on the floor.
Speaker 3: With barbies and my dapping like let me grab the
Speaker 3: g I Joe never. I have played a unicorn, a mermaid.
Speaker 3: I have been every toy ever. I do all the
Speaker 3: voices from all the toys from Toy Story. I'm buzz Lightyear,
Speaker 3: what the ship? When did that change? Seriously, I don't know.
Speaker 5: But you're an actor, so maybe that's why you do
Speaker 5: all those things.
Speaker 2: Like I'm just kind of trying to get attention to
Speaker 2: my household a little bit.
Speaker 4: Really, yeah, it might be you'recting work.
Speaker 2: It's like an audition for me every day.
Speaker 1: What mommy can do? Any of the other mommies can
Speaker 1: do this.
Speaker 3: It's just I'm realizing in this moment it's just me
Speaker 3: attention seeking.
Speaker 2: Got it, You're not alone. I've done it.
Speaker 1: I've done an able character I created that was to
Speaker 1: get them into baths and I was the royal helper.
Speaker 2: Kately's like, no one else does that.
Speaker 5: Hard for me?
Speaker 4: I just will tend anything.
Speaker 2: Well have you have you not done like the bar?
Speaker 3: Have you not gotten on the floor with like I'm
Speaker 3: buzz lightyear, here I go, you know, like never no
Speaker 3: good for you?
Speaker 2: Good for you? A boundary, draw a line drawn in
Speaker 2: the sand. I respect that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, so I meet the other thing. We had
Speaker 1: a big conversation at the start of summer and now
Speaker 1: we're ending, you know, we're nearing the end of summer
Speaker 1: about how excited we were about them getting out of
Speaker 1: school and then the actual abject terror that we felt
Speaker 1: that they we had nowhere to drop them off at anymore.
Speaker 1: So then camps came in. Are your kids all in camp?
Speaker 5: So my old my middle and my younger child are
Speaker 5: in a day camp that is a full day of camp.
Speaker 4: Thank god.
Speaker 5: Yeah, And my oldest aged out of that camp this
Speaker 5: past this year, so he's in the kind of a
Speaker 5: hodgepodge of activities, which has been.
Speaker 4: Fine, but like really way more.
Speaker 5: Stressful than I anticipated because every week is different. I know,
Speaker 5: there's no continuity and no knowing like how drop off
Speaker 5: is going to go on the mornings throughout the week,
Speaker 5: and both like their drop offs are at the same time,
Speaker 5: and all of these factors that play into your life
Speaker 5: as a parent that are really logistically stressful.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So as you get them back into school, will you
Speaker 1: be like me and pull up to school and slow
Speaker 1: down to a reasonable and safe speed for them to
Speaker 1: get out while the car is still moving.
Speaker 4: Yes, I will. I'll also be sad. I love summer.
Speaker 5: Like as much as I love to joke about the
Speaker 5: mayhem of it all, I also.
Speaker 4: Love summer.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I know me too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. I'm not going to miss set
Speaker 2: you guys, to be honest, I'm just being honest. Yeah,
Speaker 2: oh no, that's what summerred out.
Speaker 3: If it lasted like a month, like fine, but it
Speaker 3: lasts five years.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 2: It's like, Okay, I've been like, I get it. We've
Speaker 2: been doing the summer thing. Let's move along, people.
Speaker 4: I know.
Speaker 1: I got into that phase where it's also it's like
Speaker 1: when they have more time together. Again, there's four of them,
Speaker 1: so like, when they have more time together, it's equal
Speaker 1: parts unbelievable because some connection will be made and two
Speaker 1: will play with each other that don't normally, or they'll like,
Speaker 1: you know, go on a little adventure and they'll be independent,
Speaker 1: older will be helping the younger whatever. But then there'll
Speaker 1: be other times where the fighting is just like and
Speaker 1: there's three sisters and there's two that are I can't
Speaker 1: tell they're clothes apart when I do the laundry, and
Speaker 1: it's stup the amount of vitriol they can like like
Speaker 1: want to hurt each each other over like a tank top. Oh,
Speaker 1: I've been there, Like they look like they're going to
Speaker 1: kill each other.
Speaker 2: Nod.
Speaker 3: Wait do you have sisters, Caitlyn, do you have a sister? No,
Speaker 3: so you skipped the tank top murder part.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I wanted to.
Speaker 3: I wanted to cut my sister over a couple of
Speaker 3: tank tops. Let me tell you, you know, my sister
Speaker 3: used to do real quick. She used to give my
Speaker 3: clothes out to her friends. They would go missing and
Speaker 3: then she'd like, I don't know where they are, and
Speaker 3: her friends would wear them back over to the house
Speaker 3: and I felt gas lit.
Speaker 2: I'm like, that's my.
Speaker 3: My Britney spears little crop top and she's like, no,
Speaker 3: it's not no, I I get the tank top fight.
Speaker 2: It is so intense.
Speaker 1: So then I like went to I think it was
Speaker 1: definitely some sort of I don't know, some self help,
Speaker 1: parenting help. Someone helped me and they said something that
Speaker 1: went along the lines of like stop telling her kids
Speaker 1: to stop fighting?
Speaker 4: Yeah, what did what did they say to do? Alternatively?
Speaker 1: Okay, wait for it. They told me that I needed
Speaker 1: to invite them to fight.
Speaker 2: Better, like fight club? What are you? What are you
Speaker 2: talking about? Like you're giving weapons?
Speaker 1: It was like that. It was the quintessential parent in
Speaker 1: the middle of mayhem, being like which has been me?
Speaker 1: Instead of that, because then they're then you're just trying
Speaker 1: to like stop them from being them? Is somehow like
Speaker 1: get them, get their prefrontal cortexes back online, like their
Speaker 1: brains back together, and then invite them to problem solve
Speaker 1: aka fight in a better way because fighting is inevitable,
Speaker 1: but how you do it is really like ours to
Speaker 1: teach them. And clearly we know a lot of adults
Speaker 1: that don't know how to fight well. So anyways, listen,
Speaker 1: I'm at the beginning stages of these guys. I don't
Speaker 1: I don't know that I'm up for this challenge, but
Speaker 1: I see it and I'm tru I'm trying.
Speaker 3: Okay, report, report back on how that's how that's gonna work. Yeah,
Speaker 3: because I'm exhausted just listening to that advice. Just give
Speaker 3: the tank top back to your sister.
Speaker 1: Oh, how do you even figure out who is right
Speaker 1: in the situation?
Speaker 4: Not supposed to take sides? Yeah, I've been reading this too.
Speaker 5: My my middle and my youngest fight like cats and dogs,
Speaker 5: and it's it's really annoying. And I'm like, if somebody
Speaker 5: could just give me a crystal ball and be like,
Speaker 5: they're gonna be friends one day, I'd be like, all right,
Speaker 5: go ahead, murder each other. I don't care scream your
Speaker 5: faces up, but I just want to, like, I like
Speaker 5: to fight better.
Speaker 4: Thing. That's a good piece of advice.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, if you can make your way to it,
Speaker 1: it could be like aspirational. You're somewhere.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's gonna be aspirational for me for a while. Calen,
Speaker 3: thank you so much for being with us. We've mentioned
Speaker 3: your account a million times and we have not even
Speaker 3: mentioned what it's called. It is at Big Time Adulting.
Speaker 3: Everyone go hit it up right now. If you sit
Speaker 3: right away, you're going to laugh your ass off and
Speaker 3: as a parent, you will find comfort in the hilarious mess.
Speaker 1: And I can't wait to read whatever it is that
Speaker 1: you end up writing. Please put us at the top
Speaker 1: of the list because we want to read it. We
Speaker 1: want to hear your thoughts. And you're just such a light.
Speaker 1: And thank you for bringing all that you do to
Speaker 1: all of us.
Speaker 5: Thank you, ladies, Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 5: It's so nice to meet you.
Speaker 2: So nice to you too. I love it.
Speaker 1: Ah well, thank you, thank you, thank you for being
Speaker 1: with us. For all those that enjoy Caitlin. And if
Speaker 1: you don't yet know about her, please go follow her.
Speaker 1: She will I promise you she will not disappoint. And
Speaker 1: so now we will go fourth into the rest of
Speaker 1: our lives as we approach and get closer to fact
Speaker 1: to school.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the spot is built in a street