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Speaker 1: Call It What It Is with Jessica Capshaw and Camille Luddington,

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Speaker 1: an iHeartRadio podcast. Hello, Hello, Hello, Call It Crew. Today

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Speaker 1: is a very special day.

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Speaker 2: It is a very special day. We have such a

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Speaker 2: fun guest.

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Speaker 1: I'm so excited. I'm such a huge fan of hers.

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Speaker 1: She manages to just extract the funniest, funniest shit from

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Speaker 1: this wild game of that we're calling parenting.

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Speaker 3: I think that, like, I think that, like one in

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Speaker 3: five of the text messages that you send me is

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Speaker 3: a link to something that she's just posted.

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Speaker 1: It could be true, it could be true. Yeah, that

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Speaker 1: sounds like a proper ratio. She's I'm a big fan.

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Speaker 1: Her name is Kaitlin Murray. She is I mean, I

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Speaker 1: want to call her a comedian, but that is not

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Speaker 1: what she is by trade. She just I just personally

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Speaker 1: believe that she is in the profession of making me laugh.

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Speaker 2: So therefore she's hysterical. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yes, And much of her content is about parenting, but

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Speaker 1: it's also rich in just her perspective on all things.

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Speaker 2: And I'm very.

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Speaker 1: Grateful to have her here today and I can't wait

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Speaker 1: to ask her all the things.

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Speaker 2: Let's bring her in.

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Speaker 1: Hi, Hello, and welcome we started off by talking about you,

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Speaker 1: and Camilla said, what'd you say, Camilla about how many times?

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Speaker 3: I said, well, like one in five of the text

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Speaker 3: messages address sends me is a link to your page

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Speaker 3: and something hystericalol that you've done. I found you through her,

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Speaker 3: and now we're both obsessed with your content because we're

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Speaker 3: parents in the thick of it and we and it

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Speaker 3: just makes me laugh in the middle of my day.

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Speaker 2: I love it.

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Speaker 4: That makes me feel so good. Thank you, that's so nice.

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Speaker 1: Well, and I was saying that as much as clearly

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Speaker 1: one of the biggest topics is parentsaranting, I I actually

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Speaker 1: just I love your your commitment to when in the

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Speaker 1: thick of the shit, finding a way to laugh and

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Speaker 1: finding a way to sort of release some of the

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Speaker 1: pressure that builds up in all of us as we

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Speaker 1: endeavor to be adults. And that's and that's your perspective

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Speaker 1: on all things. So I'm I'm again, I'm very grateful

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Speaker 1: for that because it's really therapeutic. So you're also you're

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Speaker 1: like a comedian and a therapist. In my mind.

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Speaker 5: Wow, that's a that's a lot of rules. I am, yeah,

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Speaker 5: I I you know it always just like I think

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Speaker 5: we all feel ourselves like winding tighter than the top

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Speaker 5: sometimes and it's like I'm I'm either gonna cry right

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Speaker 5: now or I'm going to have to laugh at myself

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Speaker 5: and the absurdity of this whole situation, like just so

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Speaker 5: many times in life, especially with kids, because it's such

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Speaker 5: a pressure cooker all the time, Like I I feel

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Speaker 5: like I'm going insane every single day for at least

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Speaker 5: part of the day.

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Speaker 2: You are, we all are? We all are?

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Speaker 3: Can you tell everyone listening how and why you started

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Speaker 3: your account and you're endeavor into making us all laugh

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Speaker 3: on social media?

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Speaker 4: Yeah? Sure, it was. Actually it's sort of heavy.

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Speaker 5: I was my son, who is my oldest he's ten now,

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Speaker 5: was in treatment for leukemia from the time he was

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Speaker 5: three years old until he was almost six and a half,

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Speaker 5: and throughout that process, I had been writing emails to

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Speaker 5: family and friends about our experience and everything we were

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Speaker 5: going through when I was trying to do it with

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Speaker 5: like a sense of humor and sort of an anecdotal

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Speaker 5: spin on all of it. And that writing process was

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Speaker 5: just something that I found to be very like, very

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Speaker 5: therapeutic and cathartic during that time, just felt really good

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Speaker 5: to just put that stuff down on paper and process

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Speaker 5: it that way.

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Speaker 4: And I eventually compiled it into.

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Speaker 5: Like a blog, and a woman who lived in our

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Speaker 5: town had who worked in editing, had said, let me

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Speaker 5: show this to my publisher.

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Speaker 4: And the publisher was like, that's fine.

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Speaker 5: The writing is fine, but like this woman had no following,

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Speaker 5: We have no idea who she is, Like she's we're

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Speaker 5: not giving her a book deal, you know.

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Speaker 4: So then I was kind of.

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Speaker 5: Like, maybe I'll start an Instagram page and sort of

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Speaker 5: take this show on the road, you know. And so

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Speaker 5: that's why I started my page because I had I think.

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Speaker 4: I was like, let's just see.

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Speaker 5: What happens like if I if I did build the following,

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Speaker 5: and maybe I will write a book someday or that

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Speaker 5: kind of thing.

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Speaker 3: So that's how I got That's how I got going,

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Speaker 3: and it just exploded.

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Speaker 1: It did, It really did. And once you got going,

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Speaker 1: did you have did you think about topics for did

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Speaker 1: you know what you were to say every time you

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Speaker 1: hit record or were you like freestyling? Were you like

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Speaker 1: how what was that process like for you?

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Speaker 5: I mean I was just already losing my mind thinking

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Speaker 5: about like the humor in all of it so much

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Speaker 5: like every day I felt like there was I was

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Speaker 5: sort of playing this all out in my head before

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Speaker 5: I had an Instagram account, so it really just became

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Speaker 5: an outlet for like my everyday thoughts, the things that

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Speaker 5: I thinks that I had.

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Speaker 4: Just been thinking all along.

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Speaker 5: So answer the question, I definitely think when you get

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Speaker 5: on Instagram and you get in front of like the camera,

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Speaker 5: if you will, you got to be like a little

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Speaker 5: bit ready to say what you're trying to spit out.

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Speaker 4: Or else you sound.

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Speaker 5: People will lose interest, right, Like, you have a short

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Speaker 5: period of time in which to capture somebody's attention, and

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Speaker 5: if you fuck that up, then they're gone and they'll

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Speaker 5: never come back. So it's a skill I think, like

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Speaker 5: I learned a little by little by little. And when

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Speaker 5: I started, like reels weren't even a thing.

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Speaker 4: So I don't know, Yeah, do you many?

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Speaker 1: How many takes do you take?

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Speaker 5: Oh?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's a good question.

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Speaker 5: So all like the reels that I make where I

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Speaker 5: just go on a rant about some topic of what

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Speaker 5: the day, whatever it is that day, I actually like

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Speaker 5: write it all down and like write out what I want.

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Speaker 4: To say and how I want to say it.

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Speaker 5: And I don't do like a little bit here and

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Speaker 5: a little bit there and put all the clips together

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Speaker 5: in one I say it all at once, so it's

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Speaker 5: like a stream of like a one to one and

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Speaker 5: a half minutes of just and that's actually like a

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Speaker 5: lot of words in a small amount of time, you know, so.

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Speaker 4: I probably, I mean, it depends. It depends on how

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Speaker 4: many I mean, but.

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Speaker 5: There are always multiple I never nail it like right away,

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Speaker 5: so because sometimes it's like, oh, I want to change

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Speaker 5: the emphasis on this word, or like the way I

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Speaker 5: want to deliver this part of it, or I'll think

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Speaker 5: of something else to throw in there.

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Speaker 1: I feel like I really want access to your outtakes.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, when did you When did you start to feel like,

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Speaker 3: oh my god, people are actually watching this, like people

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Speaker 3: are really following this account.

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Speaker 5: So I think pretty early on I started to get

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Speaker 5: some of the things that I was making shared. And

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Speaker 5: that's like the secret to growing right. You create like

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Speaker 5: a piece of relatable content and then it starts getting

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Speaker 5: passed around to friends or whatever whatever.

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Speaker 4: So you know, you start with nobody.

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Speaker 5: You start with like the people who you told you

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Speaker 5: were starting an account, like your ten friends or something

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Speaker 5: like that.

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Speaker 4: And then it.

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Speaker 5: Grows and grows, and I think within the first like

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Speaker 5: few months, I had maybe ten thousand.

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Speaker 4: Followers or something like that.

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Speaker 5: So it felt like that immediately felt like I had

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Speaker 5: an audience, like I couldn't believe it.

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Speaker 4: Really, that's huge.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I never imagined that it would be the size

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Speaker 5: that it is now at all. I was thinking, like,

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Speaker 5: that's completely out of the realm of possibility for a

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Speaker 5: person that nobody knows outside of Instagram.

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Speaker 4: But the world is a different place now.

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Speaker 3: Do you kids know that you're making this content about them?

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Speaker 2: Do they have feelings about it?

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Speaker 5: My older kids know, and they see like a bunch

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Speaker 5: of the stuff that I make, because a lot of

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Speaker 5: the time it's making fun of my little guy Luki,

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Speaker 5: Like it's a lot of like the ridiculousness of the

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Speaker 5: little kid stuff, although sometimes it's all kids, Like I

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Speaker 5: did this one the other day about how oblivious kids are,

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Speaker 5: and like they'll just like my eight year old asked

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Speaker 5: me to carry a water bottle in for her from

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Speaker 5: the car the other day and I'm standing there with

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Speaker 5: like fucking two arms full of groceries.

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Speaker 4: I'm like, what's your problem? Kid? Like, can't you see

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Speaker 4: I'm a little like, yeah, here as it is.

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Speaker 1: I had that convertition yesterday where I was, tell me

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Speaker 1: how you feel about this, So I skew a little

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Speaker 1: like I will be two armsful and I'll have all

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Speaker 1: of it, and I will be like setting myself on

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Speaker 1: fire to keep everybody else warm. And then I'll realize

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Speaker 1: that I'm actually I'm on fire. So that's not good

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Speaker 1: for anybody, and I should get put out that fire.

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Speaker 1: And then maybe I should ask them to do some things.

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Speaker 1: And so I get, you know, really brave and just

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Speaker 1: you know, leave shit on the floor, Like when it's

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Speaker 1: on the floor, I don't pick it up, Like I'll

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Speaker 1: just fucking leave it there. And then I'll be like, oh, well, okay,

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Speaker 1: this is great because they're gonna see it and it's

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Speaker 1: gonna pick it up. No, they don't see it, okay.

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Speaker 1: So then I was like, all right, it wasn't in

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Speaker 1: their flight pattern. I'm gonna need to adjust this thing

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Speaker 1: to put it in their flight pattern. And once it

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Speaker 1: is squarely in the path between them and their room

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Speaker 1: that I I know they're going to multiple times a day, they're.

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Speaker 2: Gonna see it.

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Speaker 1: You'd be like, oh, that's my sweatshirt.

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Speaker 2: I'm laughing at the optimism.

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Speaker 5: I feel like you.

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Speaker 4: Could put the sweatchhert right into their hands for them

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Speaker 4: and they would put it back down on the ground

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Speaker 4: like one second later, like, oh I saw something shining.

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Speaker 5: Drop this shirt right from my tracks and go and

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Speaker 5: see whatever that thing is. Like they are so like

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Speaker 5: they just I don't even know when I learned how

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Speaker 5: to clean up after like everybody or myself or whatever,

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Speaker 5: Like when when shit started piling up and I.

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Speaker 4: Was like, is somebody somebody can put this shit away?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I gathered some comfort. I had a real sit

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Speaker 1: down with my mom and I was like, Mom, I'm

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Speaker 1: very organized now what I feel like I wasn't always.

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Speaker 1: She's like, you were terrible. You would leave your stuff everywhere.

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Speaker 1: Things would like they'd be brand new and it'd be

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Speaker 1: on the ground and I would be talking to you

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Speaker 1: about privilege and I would be talking about this and

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Speaker 1: all this. So anyways, I turned out fine, So there

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Speaker 1: is hope. So, yes, they stepped over the sweatshirt, and

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Speaker 1: you're correct. I didn't put it into their hands for

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Speaker 1: them to do the thing that I wanted them to do.

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Speaker 1: And then they came to me or after they didn't

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Speaker 1: come to me. They did come to me. One of

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Speaker 1: them came to me with a you know, I've run

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Speaker 1: out of this thing that was important to them. And

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Speaker 1: I was like, well when and she was like, ah,

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Speaker 1: like four days ago. I was like, you ran out

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Speaker 1: of this thing four days ago that you need like

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Speaker 1: on the daily and you just and you like didn't.

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Speaker 1: So I got into this tirade about like taking care

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Speaker 1: of yourself and how there needs to be you need

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Speaker 1: to be proud of the way that you take care

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Speaker 1: of your Anyways, all of it was a total waste

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Speaker 1: of time. Yea, And I really feel like you need

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Speaker 1: to do with something on that what would not be

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Speaker 1: a waste of time in order for me to explain

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Speaker 1: to them the things that they need to do.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, And I don't know.

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Speaker 5: I mean it's just I mean when I was in college,

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Speaker 5: I threw away this like entire nice like look crusade

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Speaker 5: pot that my mom had been like all this chili

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Speaker 5: that she gave to me in and I let it

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Speaker 5: sit in our like mini fridge in our dorm for

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Speaker 5: I don't know, five months, And at the end of

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Speaker 5: the school year, I was like, well, this is fucking disgusting.

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Speaker 5: I'm gonna throw away the entire Yeah. And I did

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Speaker 5: that as like a sophomore.

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Speaker 4: In college, you know, like somewhat grown up. Yeah, Like I.

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Speaker 5: Still wasn't doing things like properly. You're like taking care

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Speaker 5: of shit at that point.

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Speaker 1: So when you're going through all this stuff with your kids,

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Speaker 1: do you do you swear in front of your kids?

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Speaker 4: Yes?

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Speaker 1: I think that's I think that's a smart choice. I didn't.

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Speaker 4: I can't help it.

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Speaker 3: No, I've had this conversation about swearing because I'm right now,

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Speaker 3: I'm in the phrase where they're so little that I'm like, poopy,

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Speaker 3: it's a bad word. Yeah, And then I could turn

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Speaker 3: a mat and I'm like this, oh yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Well okay, So I've got my kids running range

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Speaker 1: from eight to sixteen. So I've got three girls eight, twelve, thirteen,

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Speaker 1: and then a boy who's sixteen. And again Luke absolutely

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Speaker 1: like the S word was stupid forever, and his bedtime

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Speaker 1: was seven until he was like fifteen, and now everything

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Speaker 1: has changed, and the eight year old is like the

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Speaker 1: most mature year old in the whole entire world. But

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Speaker 1: sometimes now that they've advanced to the stage they're at

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Speaker 1: I almost feel like I can't make my point without

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Speaker 1: a curse word, like it's actually it's it's it's it's

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Speaker 1: imperative that I use.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Also it's like a punctuation. It's like I'm knocking around.

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Speaker 1: It means like, it means business. And I don't get

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Speaker 1: mad a lot, so they know that when I say,

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Speaker 1: like fish pick that up. Yeah, like a little a

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Speaker 1: little alarm that goes off for them and they're like, oh,

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Speaker 1: she's serious. So I was in that movio for like

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Speaker 1: a twenty four hour period, and yesterday we were It

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Speaker 1: was punctuated by the end of a car ride where

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Speaker 1: I said, this is where I'm at. I'm sitting squarely

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Speaker 1: here and I'm not moving like I am in this mood,

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Speaker 1: and you guys need to get it together. And they said, well,

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Speaker 1: so what are we supposed to do Differently? I was like,

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Speaker 1: everything I say, you're supposed to say yes, ma'am, And

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Speaker 1: they didn't.

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Speaker 4: Good. Yeah, I do it in times of need that

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Speaker 4: way too.

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Speaker 5: Like I if everybody's going like batch crazy in the

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Speaker 5: next room, I'll walk in there and be like, what

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Speaker 5: the hell is going on in here? You know, like, yeah,

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Speaker 5: that's not even really a curse word. But if I

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Speaker 5: just I let an f bomber slip out here, here

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Speaker 5: and there around them my older two, I just do it.

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Speaker 5: At this point, I try to Maybe I might try

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Speaker 5: to curb it a little bit in front of my

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Speaker 5: five year old, but yeah, I.

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Speaker 1: Think that's when I started losing it.

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Speaker 2: I want to know if there are other parenting.

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Speaker 3: Accounts online the just drive you crazy, Like, what is

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Speaker 3: the content that you see out there for other parents

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Speaker 3: that you're like, just shut up.

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Speaker 4: There's so much of that.

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Speaker 2: What is like the one that really grinds on you

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Speaker 2: the most? I wanted to know.

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Speaker 4: I can't name names, no, no, no, no, not.

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Speaker 6: Names, but like the style, oh yeah, well anything that's

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Speaker 6: like you know, I hate it annoys me when people

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Speaker 6: start like either humble bragging.

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Speaker 5: About things, you know, and like just say you're good

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Speaker 5: at something. If you're good at something, don't be you know,

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Speaker 5: that's not the time to be self deprecating.

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Speaker 4: You're not doing this the right way.

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Speaker 5: It's not funny, or like if if they're talking about

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Speaker 5: their kind of a hot mess and a hot mess mom,

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Speaker 5: but everything like in the house looks very clean and.

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Speaker 3: They've got the Stanley and they're like I just, oh

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Speaker 3: my god, it was such a hot mess, Like I

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Speaker 3: just miss Pilate's like five minutes.

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Speaker 4: And I'm like, you don't have to be a hot mess,

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Speaker 4: Like no one's asking you to be a hot mess,

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Speaker 4: Like just be yourself. You know that kind of stuff

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Speaker 4: where there are.

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Speaker 5: Some some parenting advice accounts drive me a little insane

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Speaker 5: because it's kind of like there's gentle.

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Speaker 3: I feel like there's gentle parenting, and then there's the

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Speaker 3: parenting that's like beyond gentle. I don't know what that's called,

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Speaker 3: but it's like permissive.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that is it?

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Speaker 2: Permissive?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's like the childlod like what is where I'm

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Speaker 1: going to meet my child where they're at, which I

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Speaker 1: there are pieces of that that are very valuable.

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Speaker 3: But there are versions of the gentle parenting that I

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Speaker 3: just feel like my kid would be like cue, like

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Speaker 3: the house would be like it would just they would

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Speaker 3: go rogue.

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Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, well I think that there there are things

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Speaker 5: that like people are trying to sell you on for instance,

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Speaker 5: and maybe they're well meaning and that kind.

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Speaker 4: Of thing, but it's like that doesn't actually always can work.

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Speaker 5: Like this isn't a book, you know, this is the

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Speaker 5: real world, in real life, and every kid is different,

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Speaker 5: and your approach to each kid has to be sort

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Speaker 5: of tailored to them. And that doesn't mean like permisive

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Speaker 5: parenting or whatever.

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Speaker 4: But you know.

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Speaker 5: I just those things that are just not realistic. I'm like,

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Speaker 5: let's just be let's just call it what it.

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Speaker 4: Is, call it what.

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Speaker 1: But you know what, I hear that from you often

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Speaker 1: because I think that when I look at my favorite

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Speaker 1: of your reels a lot of the time, it's actually

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Speaker 1: not necessarily it's not like the call to action with

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Speaker 1: a parenting topic or a parenting issue. It's like it's like,

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Speaker 1: why why does the world expect this from a mom

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Speaker 1: or why does why why are people saying that.

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Speaker 6: This is easy?

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Speaker 1: Or like I loved your sleep like a baby? Like

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Speaker 1: oh really, really, like.

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Speaker 2: Should we really talk about what that is?

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Speaker 1: And I think that that is what's you know again,

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Speaker 1: we talk about this a lot because you know, our

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Speaker 1: our aim and our goal is to create community where

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Speaker 1: you don't feel alone. That your account. I think even

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Speaker 1: if you're not going through that specific thing, you can

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Speaker 1: you can identify with it, like you can see that

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Speaker 1: there's struggle and that you're not alone in this thing

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Speaker 1: that's being described, and you're so so good at that.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, it's so good at that. So I

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Speaker 1: have to ask, where did get yourself a snack come from?

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Speaker 4: I don't.

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Speaker 5: I mean, I feel like it kind of came from

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Speaker 5: my dad. Like my dad would always be like, let's

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Speaker 5: have a snack. Let's get a snack. We need a snack,

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Speaker 5: you know, And I feel like it's just a great

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Speaker 5: sort of metaphor for life. When you're kind of freaking

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Speaker 5: out about something or the shit's hitting the fan around

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Speaker 5: you or whatever, it's sort of like, take a break.

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Speaker 4: Yep, it's just a snack. You get calmed down, you.

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Speaker 5: Get don't forget about yourself, like you know, nourish yourself

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Speaker 5: a little bit along the way here.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, this is a burning question of mine because often

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Speaker 1: your husband will come up in conversations and or some

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Speaker 1: of the male female dynamics than in parenting or what's

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Speaker 1: expected of one or the other. How does your how

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Speaker 1: does your husband feel about all the posts? Does he

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Speaker 1: feel accurately represented?

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Speaker 5: Well, I mean I think that, like I really what

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Speaker 5: I actually feel like. I never mentioned my husband very

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Speaker 5: much at all intentionally, because I what I talk about

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Speaker 5: is the pressure of being a mother and if that's

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Speaker 5: if you, if you interpret that as a father being

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Speaker 5: a certain way or not being a certain.

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Speaker 4: Way, then so be it. Right.

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Speaker 5: But in my like particular set of circumstances, like my

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Speaker 5: husband works a very long day outside of the house.

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Speaker 5: He's gone before anyone here wakes up, and he comes back.

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Speaker 4: Usually around bedtime.

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Speaker 5: So this has been our life since day one of

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Speaker 5: having kids, so I really have had no choice but

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Speaker 5: to be the everything for the most part day to

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Speaker 5: day as mom. But I also know the way, like

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Speaker 5: the things that society sort of expects out of women,

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Speaker 5: and I think that the way that motherhood.

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Speaker 4: Is valued truly is shitty. You know.

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Speaker 5: It's like the whole narrative behind this is so joyful,

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Speaker 5: and you are a man, you're a woman, and you

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Speaker 5: are a maternal so this should be.

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Speaker 4: Easy for you. There's no faster way to.

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Speaker 5: Devalue everything that you're doing and saying that it's easy

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Speaker 5: for you and joyful, right, Like, what the fuck is

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Speaker 5: the merit in that? If it's all if it's so

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Speaker 5: easy for us, if everything's so easy, there's no credit,

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Speaker 5: you know, for you. But my husband thinks that I

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Speaker 5: am funny, and he is also like, I'm also not

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Speaker 5: your audience. So he's my number one supporter. He like,

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Speaker 5: is very proud of me for putting myself out.

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Speaker 4: There and for doing what I do.

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Speaker 5: He's an awesome husband, an amazing dad, and his role

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Speaker 5: in the family is as important as mine is. It's

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Speaker 5: just that the typical male rule societally has gotten a

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Speaker 5: lot more credit than the women.

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Speaker 4: So I love what you just said.

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Speaker 1: I just I love what you just said. I'd never

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Speaker 1: thought about the fact that motherhood is meant to be

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Speaker 1: something that is so that comes to a woman easily,

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Speaker 1: or that it's innate, or that we're born with it,

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Speaker 1: or that we just naturally can be caregivers in an

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Speaker 1: easier way. I hadn't. I hadn't made that correlation between

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Speaker 1: the perceived ease with it not having value, because again

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Speaker 1: that the harder it is, the more you feel like

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Speaker 1: you've earned something right, And so that is that's a

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Speaker 1: wild that's a wild connection that you just made for me.

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Speaker 2: Yep.

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Speaker 1: And I think that also our society wants on some

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Speaker 1: level for it to look easy or or or put

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Speaker 1: it out there and say like this is the way

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Speaker 1: to do it easily.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: I mean, I think it's also one of those things

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Speaker 5: if you if you flip the script to it being

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Speaker 5: like the man, the man's side of things and what

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Speaker 5: they've been sort of known for going out and working

442
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:47,720
Speaker 5: hard and going to work all day. And then this is,

443
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:51,399
Speaker 5: you know, like the very sort of nineteen fifties nineteen

444
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:56,040
Speaker 5: sixties housewife edition of what the views of motherhood was

445
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:58,160
Speaker 5: and what it was like to be a woman versus

446
00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:01,880
Speaker 5: a man. And and they're going out and they're working

447
00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:04,720
Speaker 5: so hard, so we need to value them and serve

448
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:07,119
Speaker 5: them and that kind of shit, and it's like, what

449
00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:10,119
Speaker 5: the do you think I've been doing at home for

450
00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:13,000
Speaker 5: the last twelve hours with everybody here, you know?

451
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:17,159
Speaker 1: Yeah, I remember there being a very because for their

452
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:20,359
Speaker 1: whole lives, except for Luke's first year, when I was

453
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,399
Speaker 1: not working outside the house. That's when I started saying

454
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:24,720
Speaker 1: people who work inside the house or work outside the house,

455
00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:28,440
Speaker 1: because if you're staying at home with kids, you're definitely

456
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:34,040
Speaker 1: definitely working. You're working in a volunteer position, but you're working.

457
00:23:34,359 --> 00:23:37,720
Speaker 1: And that's a really important thing I think to make

458
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:40,159
Speaker 1: note of. And also I remember when I then started

459
00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:43,719
Speaker 1: going to work I remember it being kind of like

460
00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:46,359
Speaker 1: the dirty little secret, because of course you'd be asked

461
00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:48,320
Speaker 1: in interviews and everything else, like how do you balance

462
00:23:48,359 --> 00:23:49,600
Speaker 1: it all? How do you do it all? How do

463
00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:51,600
Speaker 1: you go to work and take care of the kids,

464
00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:56,159
Speaker 1: And it's like, well, there's no balance, it's compromise. On

465
00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:58,560
Speaker 1: any given day, I'm really good at my job and

466
00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:01,159
Speaker 1: I'm probably not so great at being at home with

467
00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:03,320
Speaker 1: the kids. And then another day I'll be really great

468
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:05,720
Speaker 1: at being a mom and I probably wasn't all in

469
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:10,159
Speaker 1: at work. But that's that's okay because hopefully it's evening

470
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:13,040
Speaker 1: itself out. But it's a really big distinction. I don't

471
00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:16,520
Speaker 1: think people are gentle enough with themselves about it or

472
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:18,760
Speaker 1: give themselves enough credit if they are the full time

473
00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:19,760
Speaker 1: caregiver at home.

474
00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:24,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, and you know, I mean I'm not I'm not

475
00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:27,960
Speaker 5: trying to make this into like a feminist Durant podcast episode,

476
00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:32,040
Speaker 5: Like nobody's ever asked a dad how they balance it all.

477
00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:35,720
Speaker 4: You know, it's not a question that posed.

478
00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:40,000
Speaker 5: So it's just there's a lot of differences between what

479
00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:41,600
Speaker 5: it's like to be a woman and what it's like

480
00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:44,640
Speaker 5: to be a man, and I think that's kind of

481
00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:48,440
Speaker 5: with a sense of humor to like make it palatable

482
00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:53,080
Speaker 5: for everybody. Is what I really aim to do, is

483
00:24:53,119 --> 00:24:56,080
Speaker 5: to show that, like this is not all rainbows and

484
00:24:56,160 --> 00:25:02,119
Speaker 5: unicorns and you know, trips to the zoo and beautiful,

485
00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:07,280
Speaker 5: precious moments throughout it all day every day, Like there's

486
00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:08,560
Speaker 5: a ton of shit going on.

487
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:25,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, Caitlyn, I want to know if there's ever been

488
00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:31,280
Speaker 3: a moment that you have regretted getting on social media.

489
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:32,240
Speaker 2: Has there ever been.

490
00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:34,480
Speaker 3: A day or like a reel that you've posted where

491
00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:36,960
Speaker 3: you're or just some some way that you feel maybe

492
00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:39,960
Speaker 3: more exposed or something like that where it feels vulnerable.

493
00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:42,240
Speaker 3: I don't know if there has there ever been that

494
00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:42,919
Speaker 3: moment for you.

495
00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:50,880
Speaker 5: To a very small extent, yes, But I think the

496
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:55,120
Speaker 5: overarching feeling of like I like what I'm doing here

497
00:25:55,240 --> 00:26:00,119
Speaker 5: and that I feel purpose with it overrides like anything

498
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:04,240
Speaker 5: that's been negative surrounding my experience, and the positives far

499
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:05,560
Speaker 5: outweigh the negatives.

500
00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:09,040
Speaker 3: I'm so curious to like, out of everything you've posted,

501
00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:14,119
Speaker 3: what has gotten the most traction, Like, what's gotten the

502
00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:18,040
Speaker 3: most views, like of all of you, because there's so dancing, No,

503
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:19,880
Speaker 3: I feel like there's got to be some dancing that's

504
00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:22,959
Speaker 3: gotten some I mean, you are one badass dancer dancing.

505
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:24,399
Speaker 4: There's a lot of that. It's really good.

506
00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:24,800
Speaker 1: Kayly.

507
00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:27,879
Speaker 3: Is there one specific thing that everyone just just like

508
00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:29,680
Speaker 3: hit everyone?

509
00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:32,000
Speaker 5: Well, I think there are some things that like were

510
00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:35,880
Speaker 5: recently I posted something about like napping my kid's playmate,

511
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:40,679
Speaker 5: and that one sort of like for some reasons in

512
00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:44,600
Speaker 5: all different like a bunch of people reposted it and publications.

513
00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:48,720
Speaker 5: We're talking about it, an article about it and all this.

514
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:50,879
Speaker 3: Yes, I talked, by the way, I talk about this

515
00:26:51,119 --> 00:26:55,320
Speaker 3: with parents all the time. I don't remember my parents

516
00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:57,320
Speaker 3: being a playmate with me.

517
00:26:57,560 --> 00:27:01,440
Speaker 2: I have no recollection of my mart on the floor.

518
00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:04,119
Speaker 3: With barbies and my dapping like let me grab the

519
00:27:04,119 --> 00:27:09,520
Speaker 3: g I Joe never. I have played a unicorn, a mermaid.

520
00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:11,920
Speaker 3: I have been every toy ever. I do all the

521
00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:15,000
Speaker 3: voices from all the toys from Toy Story. I'm buzz Lightyear,

522
00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:20,199
Speaker 3: what the ship? When did that change? Seriously, I don't know.

523
00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:24,199
Speaker 5: But you're an actor, so maybe that's why you do

524
00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:25,080
Speaker 5: all those things.

525
00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:27,760
Speaker 2: Like I'm just kind of trying to get attention to

526
00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:28,840
Speaker 2: my household a little bit.

527
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:32,240
Speaker 4: Really, yeah, it might be you'recting work.

528
00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:33,760
Speaker 2: It's like an audition for me every day.

529
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:36,600
Speaker 1: What mommy can do? Any of the other mommies can

530
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:36,960
Speaker 1: do this.

531
00:27:37,119 --> 00:27:40,080
Speaker 3: It's just I'm realizing in this moment it's just me

532
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:41,000
Speaker 3: attention seeking.

533
00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:44,000
Speaker 2: Got it, You're not alone. I've done it.

534
00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:46,480
Speaker 1: I've done an able character I created that was to

535
00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:48,840
Speaker 1: get them into baths and I was the royal helper.

536
00:27:49,359 --> 00:27:51,040
Speaker 2: Kately's like, no one else does that.

537
00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:55,480
Speaker 5: Hard for me?

538
00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:58,320
Speaker 4: I just will tend anything.

539
00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:00,960
Speaker 2: Well have you have you not done like the bar?

540
00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:03,520
Speaker 3: Have you not gotten on the floor with like I'm

541
00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:07,520
Speaker 3: buzz lightyear, here I go, you know, like never no

542
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:08,320
Speaker 3: good for you?

543
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:11,080
Speaker 2: Good for you? A boundary, draw a line drawn in

544
00:28:11,119 --> 00:28:12,840
Speaker 2: the sand. I respect that.

545
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:17,479
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, so I meet the other thing. We had

546
00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:19,679
Speaker 1: a big conversation at the start of summer and now

547
00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:22,199
Speaker 1: we're ending, you know, we're nearing the end of summer

548
00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:25,239
Speaker 1: about how excited we were about them getting out of

549
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:29,000
Speaker 1: school and then the actual abject terror that we felt

550
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:31,320
Speaker 1: that they we had nowhere to drop them off at anymore.

551
00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:34,800
Speaker 1: So then camps came in. Are your kids all in camp?

552
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:40,200
Speaker 5: So my old my middle and my younger child are

553
00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:43,160
Speaker 5: in a day camp that is a full day of camp.

554
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:44,760
Speaker 4: Thank god.

555
00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:49,560
Speaker 5: Yeah, And my oldest aged out of that camp this

556
00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:53,640
Speaker 5: past this year, so he's in the kind of a

557
00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:56,240
Speaker 5: hodgepodge of activities, which has been.

558
00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:00,400
Speaker 4: Fine, but like really way more.

559
00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:05,480
Speaker 5: Stressful than I anticipated because every week is different. I know,

560
00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:09,960
Speaker 5: there's no continuity and no knowing like how drop off

561
00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:13,280
Speaker 5: is going to go on the mornings throughout the week,

562
00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:16,160
Speaker 5: and both like their drop offs are at the same time,

563
00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:18,920
Speaker 5: and all of these factors that play into your life

564
00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:24,600
Speaker 5: as a parent that are really logistically stressful.

565
00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:25,520
Speaker 3: Yeah.

566
00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:28,400
Speaker 1: So as you get them back into school, will you

567
00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:32,800
Speaker 1: be like me and pull up to school and slow

568
00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:35,320
Speaker 1: down to a reasonable and safe speed for them to

569
00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:39,560
Speaker 1: get out while the car is still moving.

570
00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:44,120
Speaker 4: Yes, I will. I'll also be sad. I love summer.

571
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:49,880
Speaker 5: Like as much as I love to joke about the

572
00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:52,080
Speaker 5: mayhem of it all, I also.

573
00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:53,960
Speaker 4: Love summer.

574
00:29:54,600 --> 00:29:54,840
Speaker 5: Yeah.

575
00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:55,600
Speaker 1: I know me too.

576
00:29:57,200 --> 00:30:00,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. I'm not going to miss set

577
00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:05,880
Speaker 2: you guys, to be honest, I'm just being honest. Yeah,

578
00:30:06,040 --> 00:30:07,560
Speaker 2: oh no, that's what summerred out.

579
00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:10,360
Speaker 3: If it lasted like a month, like fine, but it

580
00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:12,080
Speaker 3: lasts five years.

581
00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:13,520
Speaker 5: You know.

582
00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:16,480
Speaker 2: It's like, Okay, I've been like, I get it. We've

583
00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:20,360
Speaker 2: been doing the summer thing. Let's move along, people.

584
00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:21,320
Speaker 4: I know.

585
00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:25,600
Speaker 1: I got into that phase where it's also it's like

586
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:30,160
Speaker 1: when they have more time together. Again, there's four of them,

587
00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:33,600
Speaker 1: so like, when they have more time together, it's equal

588
00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:37,280
Speaker 1: parts unbelievable because some connection will be made and two

589
00:30:37,320 --> 00:30:39,600
Speaker 1: will play with each other that don't normally, or they'll like,

590
00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:42,280
Speaker 1: you know, go on a little adventure and they'll be independent,

591
00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:44,640
Speaker 1: older will be helping the younger whatever. But then there'll

592
00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:48,480
Speaker 1: be other times where the fighting is just like and

593
00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:51,680
Speaker 1: there's three sisters and there's two that are I can't

594
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:54,280
Speaker 1: tell they're clothes apart when I do the laundry, and

595
00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:59,040
Speaker 1: it's stup the amount of vitriol they can like like

596
00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:03,280
Speaker 1: want to hurt each each other over like a tank top. Oh,

597
00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:05,400
Speaker 1: I've been there, Like they look like they're going to

598
00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:06,240
Speaker 1: kill each other.

599
00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:06,880
Speaker 2: Nod.

600
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:10,800
Speaker 3: Wait do you have sisters, Caitlyn, do you have a sister? No,

601
00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:13,760
Speaker 3: so you skipped the tank top murder part.

602
00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:15,120
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I wanted to.

603
00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:17,440
Speaker 3: I wanted to cut my sister over a couple of

604
00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:19,840
Speaker 3: tank tops. Let me tell you, you know, my sister

605
00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:21,840
Speaker 3: used to do real quick. She used to give my

606
00:31:21,960 --> 00:31:25,200
Speaker 3: clothes out to her friends. They would go missing and

607
00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:26,840
Speaker 3: then she'd like, I don't know where they are, and

608
00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:29,400
Speaker 3: her friends would wear them back over to the house

609
00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:31,240
Speaker 3: and I felt gas lit.

610
00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:32,720
Speaker 2: I'm like, that's my.

611
00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:35,600
Speaker 3: My Britney spears little crop top and she's like, no,

612
00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:40,560
Speaker 3: it's not no, I I get the tank top fight.

613
00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:43,040
Speaker 2: It is so intense.

614
00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:44,600
Speaker 1: So then I like went to I think it was

615
00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:46,960
Speaker 1: definitely some sort of I don't know, some self help,

616
00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:49,840
Speaker 1: parenting help. Someone helped me and they said something that

617
00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:52,040
Speaker 1: went along the lines of like stop telling her kids

618
00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:52,920
Speaker 1: to stop fighting?

619
00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:56,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, what did what did they say to do? Alternatively?

620
00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:59,280
Speaker 1: Okay, wait for it. They told me that I needed

621
00:31:59,320 --> 00:32:01,720
Speaker 1: to invite them to fight.

622
00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:07,080
Speaker 2: Better, like fight club? What are you? What are you

623
00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:08,920
Speaker 2: talking about? Like you're giving weapons?

624
00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:11,880
Speaker 1: It was like that. It was the quintessential parent in

625
00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:15,600
Speaker 1: the middle of mayhem, being like which has been me?

626
00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:20,120
Speaker 1: Instead of that, because then they're then you're just trying

627
00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:24,560
Speaker 1: to like stop them from being them? Is somehow like

628
00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:29,320
Speaker 1: get them, get their prefrontal cortexes back online, like their

629
00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:35,160
Speaker 1: brains back together, and then invite them to problem solve

630
00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:40,200
Speaker 1: aka fight in a better way because fighting is inevitable,

631
00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:43,120
Speaker 1: but how you do it is really like ours to

632
00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:45,440
Speaker 1: teach them. And clearly we know a lot of adults

633
00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:47,560
Speaker 1: that don't know how to fight well. So anyways, listen,

634
00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:49,560
Speaker 1: I'm at the beginning stages of these guys. I don't

635
00:32:49,720 --> 00:32:53,200
Speaker 1: I don't know that I'm up for this challenge, but

636
00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:56,600
Speaker 1: I see it and I'm tru I'm trying.

637
00:32:56,640 --> 00:33:01,120
Speaker 3: Okay, report, report back on how that's how that's gonna work. Yeah,

638
00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:04,920
Speaker 3: because I'm exhausted just listening to that advice. Just give

639
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:07,120
Speaker 3: the tank top back to your sister.

640
00:33:07,920 --> 00:33:11,080
Speaker 1: Oh, how do you even figure out who is right

641
00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:11,800
Speaker 1: in the situation?

642
00:33:12,720 --> 00:33:17,880
Speaker 4: Not supposed to take sides? Yeah, I've been reading this too.

643
00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:22,160
Speaker 5: My my middle and my youngest fight like cats and dogs,

644
00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:27,560
Speaker 5: and it's it's really annoying. And I'm like, if somebody

645
00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:29,479
Speaker 5: could just give me a crystal ball and be like,

646
00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:32,920
Speaker 5: they're gonna be friends one day, I'd be like, all right,

647
00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:35,360
Speaker 5: go ahead, murder each other. I don't care scream your

648
00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:38,840
Speaker 5: faces up, but I just want to, like, I like

649
00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:39,600
Speaker 5: to fight better.

650
00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:42,120
Speaker 4: Thing. That's a good piece of advice.

651
00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:45,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, if you can make your way to it,

652
00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:47,719
Speaker 1: it could be like aspirational. You're somewhere.

653
00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:51,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's gonna be aspirational for me for a while. Calen,

654
00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:54,760
Speaker 3: thank you so much for being with us. We've mentioned

655
00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:57,960
Speaker 3: your account a million times and we have not even

656
00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:02,360
Speaker 3: mentioned what it's called. It is at Big Time Adulting.

657
00:34:02,560 --> 00:34:07,280
Speaker 3: Everyone go hit it up right now. If you sit

658
00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:10,759
Speaker 3: right away, you're going to laugh your ass off and

659
00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:16,000
Speaker 3: as a parent, you will find comfort in the hilarious mess.

660
00:34:16,320 --> 00:34:18,480
Speaker 1: And I can't wait to read whatever it is that

661
00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:20,319
Speaker 1: you end up writing. Please put us at the top

662
00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:23,440
Speaker 1: of the list because we want to read it. We

663
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:26,799
Speaker 1: want to hear your thoughts. And you're just such a light.

664
00:34:26,920 --> 00:34:29,120
Speaker 1: And thank you for bringing all that you do to

665
00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:30,080
Speaker 1: all of us.

666
00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:33,360
Speaker 5: Thank you, ladies, Thank you so much for having me.

667
00:34:33,440 --> 00:34:34,520
Speaker 5: It's so nice to meet you.

668
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:37,200
Speaker 2: So nice to you too. I love it.

669
00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:39,759
Speaker 1: Ah well, thank you, thank you, thank you for being

670
00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:44,120
Speaker 1: with us. For all those that enjoy Caitlin. And if

671
00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:47,040
Speaker 1: you don't yet know about her, please go follow her.

672
00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:50,080
Speaker 1: She will I promise you she will not disappoint. And

673
00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:53,800
Speaker 1: so now we will go fourth into the rest of

674
00:34:53,840 --> 00:34:58,160
Speaker 1: our lives as we approach and get closer to fact

675
00:34:58,160 --> 00:34:58,520
Speaker 1: to school.

676
00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:02,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, the spot is built in a street