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Speaker 1: All right, let's get into the episode.
Speaker 2: Hello, Hey, Hi, what I'm talking to you right now?
Speaker 3: My boyfriend's gonna freak out.
Speaker 2: Oh well, well, what's well? I can't believe I'm talking
Speaker 2: to you too. I can't believe technology has advanced far
Speaker 2: enough to get us to this point.
Speaker 1: It's pretty crazy.
Speaker 3: I believe technology exists.
Speaker 1: What's your name?
Speaker 3: Salem?
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 1: Salem h? Like the witch stuff?
Speaker 3: Yeah, like the witch stuff and like the cat from
Speaker 3: Sprainton a teenage twitch.
Speaker 1: Well, Salem, do you are you? I don't know. I
Speaker 1: feel like, you know, I want to ask you about
Speaker 1: which stuff?
Speaker 2: But I feel like it it would be hacky of
Speaker 2: me because you probably can ask that stuff all the time.
Speaker 3: Not really, but I mean, I I don't know why
Speaker 3: should talk about it?
Speaker 1: Well, is there a reason that it's okay? If not,
Speaker 1: we can find something.
Speaker 2: But is there a particular thing you you wanted to
Speaker 2: talk about up from bike with calling in?
Speaker 3: There's so many things going on, so you know we
Speaker 3: could figure something out.
Speaker 1: Okay, Uh, tell me one of the things that is
Speaker 1: going on.
Speaker 3: I was recently in a mental hospital.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, what's the food like in the mental hospital?
Speaker 3: Well, I have celia, so they had to make all
Speaker 3: my food in a microwave, like just frozen meals from
Speaker 3: the grocery store.
Speaker 2: It sounds like what you've been eating in the mental
Speaker 2: hospital is very similar to what I have just been
Speaker 2: eating in my apartments.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it was.
Speaker 3: Honestly, my food looked better than a lot of the
Speaker 3: other biggest food in there.
Speaker 1: What was the best frozen meal? You had?
Speaker 3: Probably just some mac and cheese. I normally have that
Speaker 3: my house anyways.
Speaker 2: And I feel like I've talked to people about this before,
Speaker 2: but like is it are you are you solitary or
Speaker 2: are there other folks in the hospital that you Well,
Speaker 2: I was in.
Speaker 3: A detox and crisis center because it's one of the
Speaker 3: only like available facilities near me. So a lot of
Speaker 3: the people are on drugs or coming off of drugs.
Speaker 3: But I was alone because of that. But there's like
Speaker 3: hourly meetings that.
Speaker 2: You have to go to, So you were alone because
Speaker 2: the only other people that they didn't mix you in
Speaker 2: with the people who are detoxing on drugs.
Speaker 3: Well, like for like the daily meetings they did, but
Speaker 3: they didn't make me stay in the room with someone
Speaker 3: that was like coming off of fentanyl.
Speaker 2: Why was that like a danger to you or a
Speaker 2: danger to them?
Speaker 3: It could be, And I mean I was there because
Speaker 3: I had been having like really bad panic attacks where
Speaker 3: I thought I was dying for like like probably twenty
Speaker 3: a couple of days. So I was like I need,
Speaker 3: I need some help, So they probably thought that, like
Speaker 3: watching someone the talks probably wouldn't be the best for
Speaker 3: my anxiety.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like if you're anxious about dying, watching
Speaker 2: somebody who's like, you know, kind of kind of dying
Speaker 2: is bad.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah it was. It was a lot just being in there.
Speaker 3: But I mean I have like family members that are
Speaker 3: addicted to drugs or have recovered from drugs, so I
Speaker 3: wasn't as shocked as I think someone else would be.
Speaker 1: Do you have TV?
Speaker 3: There was a TV in the day room.
Speaker 1: I watched it on TV.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I brought a lot of books.
Speaker 1: Which was you watched what did you watch the Hunger Games? Okay?
Speaker 2: I also I feel like, not a good movie to
Speaker 2: watch if you're afraid of dying, because it's just it's
Speaker 2: about kids dying.
Speaker 3: Well it was. It was only on Netflix for a month,
Speaker 3: and I didn't know how long it was going to
Speaker 3: be in there, so I was like I might as well.
Speaker 2: You were like, I can't wait for my death anxiety
Speaker 2: to get better to watch this movie about the kids.
Speaker 1: Well I just got to watch it now.
Speaker 3: My anxiety was about like me having like an aneurysm
Speaker 3: and like it was like fictional death. And I'd seen
Speaker 3: the Hunger Games before, so I knew. I knew it
Speaker 3: was gonna happen.
Speaker 1: How long ago were you in this facility?
Speaker 3: I was only in there for four days. I was
Speaker 3: supposed to be in there a week, but there was
Speaker 3: some weird stuff that happened.
Speaker 1: All right, did you now in this anxiety?
Speaker 2: Like I don't want to, you know, but I was
Speaker 2: on the fucking Wikipedia page.
Speaker 4: Dude.
Speaker 1: I've been in some just weird.
Speaker 2: Wikipedia loops lately and they and it's just having anxiety
Speaker 2: and unfiltered internet connection is a horrible mix. I was
Speaker 2: on the Wikipedia page for for aneurysms, like, uh uh
Speaker 2: a few days ago, just randomly, when you were going
Speaker 2: when you were anxious, were you like on the internet
Speaker 2: looking at web md and like just gone.
Speaker 3: I have done that when I'm really paranoid, because I
Speaker 3: get paranoid about my health a lot. But I was
Speaker 3: specifically worried about aneurysms because my mom was really worried
Speaker 3: that I was having one, and her aunt died from
Speaker 3: one and her mom has one, and I think my
Speaker 3: great grandmother has a couple, so it was like, it's
Speaker 3: it's possible. That I could have one.
Speaker 1: What did your why was what was your mom saying
Speaker 1: to you?
Speaker 3: Like, well, she was just like I couldn't eat or
Speaker 3: like do anything for the whole time, so she was
Speaker 3: just also really worried.
Speaker 2: I was saying, Okay, uh, well, how I know you
Speaker 2: You said you were in there for four days.
Speaker 1: But how long ago was this?
Speaker 3: Oh it was in March. It was like in the
Speaker 3: middle of March.
Speaker 2: Okay, what did you What would you talk about at
Speaker 2: these meetings?
Speaker 3: I mean I feel like I didn't have as much
Speaker 3: to talk about as some of the other people because
Speaker 3: a lot of it was more like like rehab oriented
Speaker 3: and like trying to get people to recover. But I
Speaker 3: mean I've been in A meetings a lot as a kid,
Speaker 3: so I at least like I didn't feel super uncomfortable
Speaker 3: in that situation.
Speaker 2: The you said you've been in AA meetings a lot
Speaker 2: as a kid, Oh yeah, with your parents. Is that
Speaker 2: a thing parents bringing their kids to a meetings?
Speaker 3: I mean, if they like, if one of the parents
Speaker 3: have to work and you really need to go to meeting,
Speaker 3: you know, there's normally like a little area for kids
Speaker 3: to be in. But I'm the oldest of my siblings,
Speaker 3: So I was paying attention to the meeting.
Speaker 1: Do you kind of ask your question?
Speaker 2: And like I is, when you go to these when
Speaker 2: you're at these meetings, and I know that it's people
Speaker 2: who are dealing with something different from you, But does
Speaker 2: any part of you, and maybe this is one of
Speaker 2: the points of group meetings and stuff, like, does any
Speaker 2: part of you go?
Speaker 1: Okay? Well, at least I don't have I'm not dealing
Speaker 1: with that, you know.
Speaker 5: Oh no, I.
Speaker 3: I've been addicted to drugs. I've just never gone to
Speaker 3: like rehab for meetings for it.
Speaker 1: Okay, are you are you?
Speaker 4: Are you?
Speaker 1: Are you under digited to drugs? Now?
Speaker 3: I I'm pretty reliant on weeds, but that's because I
Speaker 3: have a lot of health problems and like chronic pain.
Speaker 3: But I'm not addicted to like hard drugs like I
Speaker 3: was when I was younger.
Speaker 4: Is it uh?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 2: Is it like medically prescribed weed or you just buy
Speaker 2: it from like a dispensary recreationally.
Speaker 3: Well, I don't live in a state where weed is
Speaker 3: the most legal. It's the criminalized here and they're trying
Speaker 3: to get medical So I'm going to get a med card,
Speaker 3: but currently I can't really tell you how I get weed.
Speaker 1: Oh, look I have.
Speaker 2: I have picked up weed from the Red Robin parking
Speaker 2: lot many times, so I've been there.
Speaker 3: It's a little it's a little less legal than that.
Speaker 1: It's a little bit less legal than that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it, you know, I don't know, it's
Speaker 2: really it's kind of crazy, the uh dichotomy of like
Speaker 2: there's there's I live, you know, I'm in California right now, and.
Speaker 1: You can walk into these like fucking.
Speaker 2: Apple store type places where we'd is completely legal and
Speaker 2: like a smiley salesman will walk you all around the
Speaker 2: store and like show you everything. And there's like, you
Speaker 2: know states where people are doing that versus you know,
Speaker 2: the Red Robin parking lot States or whatever it is.
Speaker 1: That you're going to.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's true. I lived in Colorado for most of
Speaker 3: my childhood, so I was used to like seeing places
Speaker 3: like that, and now I live in the South and
Speaker 3: it's just weird because when I started smoking, I was
Speaker 3: like fourteen, and so I would like go to dispensaries
Speaker 3: with people that could get wheat and get it from them.
Speaker 3: So like I was pretty used to that, and moving
Speaker 3: here was kind of a shock that it's so hard to.
Speaker 2: Get Okay, so you were how's your health anxiety?
Speaker 1: Now? Did the uh bend the hospital visit help?
Speaker 3: I mean not one hundred percent. I think it was
Speaker 3: just good to like it's right next to an er,
Speaker 3: so I think like it made me feel safer that like, hey,
Speaker 3: if I actually am dying, like I'm directly next to
Speaker 3: hospital and then they up my medication and that that
Speaker 3: helped a lot.
Speaker 1: Are aneurysms genetic?
Speaker 3: Yeah, they can be hereditary?
Speaker 2: Okay, what like what kind of I's fucking off to
Speaker 2: tell me? If you want to be like, what kind
Speaker 2: of what kind of medication are you take?
Speaker 5: It?
Speaker 4: Is it?
Speaker 1: Is it like just for anxiety?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's called hydroxycine. My psychiatrist wants to get me
Speaker 3: off it eventually because I'm on mood stabilizers too, and
Speaker 3: she said that those should probably help us by anxiety
Speaker 3: when they like start working, because I have to like,
Speaker 3: uh get up to the dose where they're going to
Speaker 3: start working. So it's not the best medication to take
Speaker 3: for anxiety, but it's working for me. And I was
Speaker 3: addicted to Benzo's in the past.
Speaker 2: I was, I was, I had a I've said kalanapin
Speaker 2: for a little bit. Is that similar to that with
Speaker 2: I know that there's a different word for it, but
Speaker 2: I get lost in all the words. I think.
Speaker 3: I think klanpin is a benzo. I've taken that a
Speaker 3: several times. But I was. I was prescribed d X
Speaker 3: when I was thirteen, which is not good to do
Speaker 3: when you have family members that are drug ant. Sure
Speaker 3: drug at it?
Speaker 1: Sure, I don't really, I wouldn't.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't recommend anyone doing this. But I did have
Speaker 2: one night where I took both. I was I was sick,
Speaker 2: and I took both niquill and klanapin, and I think
Speaker 2: I might have slept for a whole day, and I
Speaker 2: had dreams about creatures that I cannot even describe.
Speaker 3: That that sounds really scary.
Speaker 1: No, it's I mean, it was it it.
Speaker 2: It fucked up the entire next day, But you know,
Speaker 2: I mean it was worth a experiment.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't recommend it.
Speaker 2: I love I love niquil though it is it is.
Speaker 2: I mean, that's a great drug. I wish they have
Speaker 2: well they have Zz's e quill that you can take
Speaker 2: when you're not sick.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like being reliant on something like that
Speaker 3: like Nightly though it is probably not the.
Speaker 1: Best because no, it's a terrible idea.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think there's a bunch of chemicals, especially in
Speaker 3: like the liquid night quotes.
Speaker 1: I have to say, I don't I try to do
Speaker 1: like a chat.
Speaker 2: But somebody said, dude was on that loved crafty and combo,
Speaker 2: and that is exactly what it was. That is like,
Speaker 2: that is what he was on when he came up
Speaker 2: with Cthulhu.
Speaker 1: Was Nike, Will and.
Speaker 3: Klonopin probably I don't know if they had clump in then, but.
Speaker 1: Well, well all right, so what how is you? What's
Speaker 1: your like?
Speaker 2: How so it got bad enough that you had to
Speaker 2: go to a mental hospital and then it got I
Speaker 2: suppose good enough that you left it early.
Speaker 3: Yeah, kind of it was more like situational. Okay. There
Speaker 3: was a weird guy that's like my dad's age that
Speaker 3: was hitting on me and I'm I just turned so
Speaker 3: I thought that was really creepy, and I didn't I
Speaker 3: just turned eighteen like two months ago at that point,
Speaker 3: m M.
Speaker 5: And he was like.
Speaker 2: Forty, So what's your so? I mean, you're pretty young, dude,
Speaker 2: what's your like? Are you about to go to college.
Speaker 2: What's your like next life step.
Speaker 3: I'm getting my ged and then I want to go
Speaker 3: to college.
Speaker 1: M h what do you what do you try to
Speaker 1: go for?
Speaker 3: I really want to be like a scriptwriter and eventually
Speaker 3: a director for movies and like. But it's a hard
Speaker 3: industry to get into. It's very competitive and a lot
Speaker 3: so it's a little scary.
Speaker 2: Can I tell you something because I went to film school?
Speaker 2: Mm hm, well okay, where are where are you trying to?
Speaker 2: Are you like trying to You're trying to go to
Speaker 2: film school pretty much? Like yeah, okay, what I don't
Speaker 2: know how much you know information how to get out,
Speaker 2: But is there like a school in particular that you're
Speaker 2: trying to go to.
Speaker 3: I'd like to go to one in the state, And
Speaker 3: I mean I'm not in like the best state for
Speaker 3: film school. But my dad's a veteran and there's a
Speaker 3: thing where you can.
Speaker 5: Get like free college if.
Speaker 3: You're a veteran and he's giving it to his kids.
Speaker 1: Oh oh, then go to college.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, no, if you could, because that was because Okay,
Speaker 2: what I was going to tell you was if like
Speaker 2: don't go like, don't go into like, don't go into
Speaker 2: fucking debt to go to film school, because like I have,
Speaker 2: I have, you know, yeah, don't go to debt to
Speaker 2: go to film school. But like if no, if you're
Speaker 2: if your dad has like a thing with the government,
Speaker 2: we can pay it. Then yeah, let me go crazy,
Speaker 2: but do that. But do this, No, go ahead, you
Speaker 2: tell me what you're gonna say.
Speaker 3: I was just gonna say. I think it has to
Speaker 3: be in state, which is why I want to go
Speaker 3: to school.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, if you're in you're in the summon. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it doesn't you can, you can go. But I think.
Speaker 2: If you go to film school, make sure you're making
Speaker 2: make Like if I were you, I would make sure
Speaker 2: you're making stuff outside of just like what they.
Speaker 1: Get, what what.
Speaker 2: Your your coursework is, because if your film school is
Speaker 2: anything like my film school, it's like they're gonna make
Speaker 2: you watch movies and write essays, which is not it's
Speaker 2: not gonna be helpful to you in any way, shape
Speaker 2: or form at all.
Speaker 3: Things.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean some of you know, I'm sure
Speaker 2: there'll be classes where you know, I don't know. I mean,
Speaker 2: I'm cynical. There's people that I you know, went to
Speaker 2: the same film school as me that had a great time.
Speaker 2: But uh, you know, I mean, make sure you're like
Speaker 2: making stuff outside of class, right especially now because you
Speaker 2: get because you got fucking you know, TikTok and YouTube
Speaker 2: and uh I you probably have a computer that has
Speaker 2: iMovie on it and share like you have all the
Speaker 2: tools to just to just start making stuff. So I wouldn't,
Speaker 2: Uh I would, I would. I would while doing your coursework. Also,
Speaker 2: just you know, God and film ship on your phone
Speaker 2: and computer.
Speaker 1: And just make it.
Speaker 3: That's good advice.
Speaker 5: I try to now.
Speaker 3: I feel like it definitely would be harder with like
Speaker 3: a whole courseloads, But I'll definitely do my best.
Speaker 1: But you said you try to. What do you What
Speaker 1: do you make movies about?
Speaker 3: I'm not making movies. I'm just like writing scripts and
Speaker 3: stuff like that because I don't have like the best
Speaker 3: camera to film on. But yeah, although I don't have
Speaker 3: anyone to help me.
Speaker 1: Well, okay, you your ice are you?
Speaker 2: You're holding an iPhone right now as you're talking to me, right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just not the best camera.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: I mean, look, man, it's like people are on I mean,
Speaker 2: I don't know if you've ever seen my show, but
Speaker 2: it looks like shit and it didn't matter, you know. Well,
Speaker 2: I mean, if you go on TikTok, everything is there
Speaker 2: is filmed with an iPhone, so I wouldn't.
Speaker 1: I don't let that stop you from making ship.
Speaker 3: That's true. That is true.
Speaker 1: Okay, do you want to get a film school? What
Speaker 1: kind of what? Like? Like, what kind of script do
Speaker 1: you write?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 1: Funny shit? Serious shit? What do you write scripts about?
Speaker 3: I think funny scripts are easier to do, just because,
Speaker 3: like you know, it's not as serious. But I like
Speaker 3: writing scripts base based off of some of my like
Speaker 3: mental health experiences, because I think that is also fairly
Speaker 3: need to do. But yeah, sometimes I just look up.
Speaker 5: Prompts and do that.
Speaker 1: Have you ever seen one Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest?
Speaker 3: I haven't, but my mom talks about all the time.
Speaker 1: I haven't either, but I know it's about.
Speaker 3: That about a mental hospital, I think, so.
Speaker 1: I haven't seen I certainly have even brought it up, But.
Speaker 3: It's about someone that's not crazy acting crazy to like
Speaker 3: be in a mental I think they're trying to hide
Speaker 3: from like the law or something, but they're hiding in
Speaker 3: as it was made a while ago, though, so I
Speaker 3: don't know if it's the best representation of hospitals.
Speaker 1: Well, there we go.
Speaker 2: Well that's the thing. Maybe you watch it and it
Speaker 2: inspires you. You're like this guy, this guy didn't get
Speaker 2: it right, you know, And now you can go and
Speaker 2: you can make the next great American.
Speaker 1: Mental hospital movie.
Speaker 3: Thank you. That's that's gonna be my legacy.
Speaker 1: Look, what's your name again? Salem? Salem? You shall prevail
Speaker 1: against all odds. I believe in you.
Speaker 5: Okay, thank you.
Speaker 3: I really appreciate that.
Speaker 1: All right, you have a good night, you too.
Speaker 4: All from Hello, Hey man.
Speaker 1: What's up? What's your name?
Speaker 4: Griffin? I'm in your chat. I'm Rogus.
Speaker 1: Jogan. Have we ever spoke before Rogus Jogan?
Speaker 4: Never ever? My man? First time? Yeah, you got it?
Speaker 1: But ripping like Peter Griffin jogas. What's up?
Speaker 4: Man? Not too much? Brother? How's the stream going? What's
Speaker 4: going on with you? Let's get into it?
Speaker 2: If I like you already, man, let's get into it.
Speaker 2: What do you want to get into.
Speaker 4: Let's get into it.
Speaker 1: Dude, John Cena on the phone, Hello, that was that was?
Speaker 1: That was a confident tall guy. Laugh. You just did.
Speaker 4: My man? Yo, I got like in high school I
Speaker 4: met this girl right seven eight, ten years ago? Christ
Speaker 4: I don't know. And buddy, we were together for five years.
Speaker 4: We went through, traveled the world. She's a Canadian. I'm Canadian,
Speaker 4: you know. But she was being the means and man,
Speaker 4: things went real sideways. She found some pictures on my phone.
Speaker 4: I screwed up. Trust was gone, you know what I mean?
Speaker 4: And ever since then, I've just been self sabotaging, like
Speaker 4: a like a like a big old dummy. M kam.
Speaker 1: You were how old were you when you when you
Speaker 1: fucked this up?
Speaker 4: Oh? Crazy, lose a loose grasp on time. Man, I
Speaker 4: don't know. Probably it would have been five six years ago,
Speaker 4: so probably nineteen twenty. I'm only twenty six now. I'm
Speaker 4: a young man still, all right.
Speaker 1: All right?
Speaker 2: So you you fucked up and then you say that
Speaker 2: you ever since then, these past six years, you've you
Speaker 2: say you've been self sabotaging.
Speaker 1: What does that mean?
Speaker 4: Well? I had this one girl who was super into me.
Speaker 4: He's a great, great person. She was a pastor's daughter,
Speaker 4: you know, a good, good person, volunteer at all of that,
Speaker 4: super talented. Yeah, And I mean I wasn't so good
Speaker 4: to her. I didn't give her the time of day.
Speaker 4: I didn't give her the respect she needed. She still
Speaker 4: stuck with me for like three years. And then buddy,
Speaker 4: when she got pregnant, Holy cow, I messed a big time.
Speaker 4: You got a kid?
Speaker 1: Yeah, holy shit.
Speaker 4: Okay, you know, let's get serious with it, man. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Oh no, I'm with you.
Speaker 4: I'm with you.
Speaker 1: Keep going.
Speaker 4: Yeah. And I was like, I'm not ready like financially
Speaker 4: or emotionally or like spiritually or fucking anything for a child. Yeah.
Speaker 4: So I told her. I was like, I can't have
Speaker 4: a kid. I was like, if you have a kid,
Speaker 4: I can't be there for the child. I told her.
Speaker 4: I was like, I'm going to leave put on extradition
Speaker 4: country and we'll never talk again, which is a terrible,
Speaker 4: terrible thing to say. Mm hmm. And then well, anyway,
Speaker 4: she aboorded that baby, which is fucked up or not
Speaker 4: depending on your viewpoint.
Speaker 2: I guess, well, okay, was it like, well, how did
Speaker 2: the conversation go?
Speaker 1: Did she like really like really want to have the baby?
Speaker 4: She was a religious girl, man, her father was a pastor.
Speaker 3: Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: Well what were her feelings?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 2: Because I mean shit, man, like, if neither of you
Speaker 2: guys are ready to have the baby.
Speaker 4: No, we weren't, but I think like she felt like
Speaker 4: she had like a moral obligation or you.
Speaker 2: Know, Okay, do you still talk to this girl?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 1: No, okay, how long ago was that?
Speaker 4: Uh, that would have been like three years ago.
Speaker 2: I mean, that's it' that's a that's a tough and
Speaker 2: then from them and it's just.
Speaker 1: That's a tough situation.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Man, people keep telling me I need therapy, and
Speaker 4: I get real defensive, you know what I mean, which
Speaker 4: is probably not a good thing either.
Speaker 2: Why do you why do you get defensive when people
Speaker 2: tell you you need therapy?
Speaker 4: Because I don't know. For me, I have an association
Speaker 4: like therapy is for people who are like weak or
Speaker 4: you need someone to lean on, but also like at
Speaker 4: the same time, like you know, we're not always so
Speaker 4: strong on our own.
Speaker 1: M hmm.
Speaker 2: Well yeah, I mean, look, did you you're out here,
Speaker 2: you know, you're you're like reckoning with yourself and being
Speaker 2: like I fucked up here, I fucked up there, And
Speaker 2: I mean, look, it's good to reckon with yourself, right.
Speaker 2: People go through their whole lives sucking up and they
Speaker 2: never reckon with it. So I mean that I think
Speaker 2: I think it's good to look at yourself. I've done
Speaker 2: this before, you know, it's good to look at yourself
Speaker 2: and be like, oh, here's some character flaws that I
Speaker 2: should you know, address, and uh, I think doing that
Speaker 2: with a therapist. There's nothing about that that is uh weak.
Speaker 4: Yeah mm yeah, maybe it's something I need to come
Speaker 4: to terms with. Man. I don't know. It's so self
Speaker 4: reflection at the end of the day, but it is
Speaker 4: good to talk about it, you know. And I'm a
Speaker 4: big fan of the channel. I'm a big fan of
Speaker 4: what you do.
Speaker 1: So well, thanks man.
Speaker 2: All Right, so you got all these things in your life, situations,
Speaker 2: things that you're not proud of, things where you're like,
Speaker 2: things where maybe you can see why you made the
Speaker 2: decisions you made, Things where you're like, no, I was
Speaker 2: just totally acting out of selfishness or whatever. It was
Speaker 2: like looking back on it and being like.
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's a logical reason behind it, but it was
Speaker 4: purely for self serving interests.
Speaker 2: Okay, well here you are now, you're twenty six, you
Speaker 2: are not in jail, and you didn't die. You're a
Speaker 2: human being on the earth with an opportunity. Some could
Speaker 2: even say an obligation to, you know, go and become
Speaker 2: the best version of yourself that you can be in
Speaker 2: spite of things that you're ashamed of from your past.
Speaker 1: And I think that you should have the.
Speaker 2: Right to go and figure out the best way for
Speaker 2: yourself to do that. So, uh, when you think about that,
Speaker 2: what what? What do you what do you think about?
Speaker 2: How do you how do you want to?
Speaker 4: I get where you're coming from. And I understand that,
Speaker 4: like you hear the self reflection and everything and the
Speaker 4: good ursus is good. But at the same time, my man,
Speaker 4: I have this whole urge, this inclination, this desire to
Speaker 4: stay oh so toxic reflection. Sometimes it's appealing to get worse,
Speaker 4: you know.
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, tell me more, tell me more about this.
Speaker 2: Why do you have the desire to stay toxic?
Speaker 4: Christ I don't know, man, So like sometimes I just
Speaker 4: do destructive things that aren't even self destructive. They're just
Speaker 4: destructive to other people's joint happiness. That's not good, you know,
Speaker 4: Like I got some issues. Who knows the reason.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you this. You should go. I'm down
Speaker 1: to talk you see.
Speaker 2: You know, uh, you the fact that we are having
Speaker 2: this conversation right now indicates to me that you are
Speaker 2: capable of, you know, self reflection, and so I want
Speaker 2: to talk to you about all this stuff.
Speaker 1: But you should totally go see a real therapist too.
Speaker 4: Yeah. No, you're probably right, man, Like I would give
Speaker 4: you more in depth answers if I could, about a
Speaker 4: lot of this stuff, but i'd like the reasons for something.
Speaker 4: Some of my actions sometimes just gave me to you
Speaker 4: know what I mean.
Speaker 2: Okay, So well, here's the thing. Is like, you're looking
Speaker 2: back at shit from five years ago, and it's okay
Speaker 2: to look back at yourself from five years ago and
Speaker 2: be like, yeah, I fucked up.
Speaker 1: I'm you know, was not.
Speaker 2: Perfect and I want to improve, I want to change.
Speaker 2: But you're telling me that that that you're looking back
Speaker 2: at yourself from the past and you're ashamed of it,
Speaker 2: but yet you still have the desire to, as you say,
Speaker 2: stay toxic.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, what tell me about that? What is that?
Speaker 4: Maybe almost two minds man, That's really what it comes
Speaker 4: down to. I guess right, I was deciding what path
Speaker 4: you want to walk at the end of the day, Like, buddy,
Speaker 4: I'm gonna be honest, I didn't really think we were
Speaker 4: going to get this deep. When I started the phone call,
Speaker 4: I didn't even think I was going to get through. I.
Speaker 2: Look, if you we can't, we can. We can keep going.
Speaker 2: We can go deep if you want to.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't want to. We don't have to.
Speaker 4: Why not? Yeah, no, honestly, man, Probably it's self sabotage.
Speaker 4: Probably it's it's looking at myself in the mirror and saying,
Speaker 4: because I did these things in the past, I don't
Speaker 4: deserve to have good things in the future, and burning
Speaker 4: and whatnot, that that probably I shouldn't be yeah, myself
Speaker 4: to other people, you know.
Speaker 2: So you look at yourself and you're like, Okay, because
Speaker 2: I've done these things in the past, I'm not deserving
Speaker 2: of uh a life where I improve myself. And therefore,
Speaker 2: fuck it, Let's just keep going down the path of
Speaker 2: evil and darkness, because why not be fund of redemption?
Speaker 4: So let's just.
Speaker 1: Dive deep in the deep in right, that's how you're feeling. Okay, hmmm.
Speaker 1: But here's the But from my perspective, From my perspective,
Speaker 1: and and.
Speaker 2: I would say this, anyone who's done anything right is like, Okay,
Speaker 2: if you've reached this point of self awareness that that again,
Speaker 2: I can tell you have because you and me are
Speaker 2: having the fucking conversation right now.
Speaker 1: If you've reached this point of self awareness, you have
Speaker 1: the ability to move forward positively in your life. And
Speaker 1: why would I don't. I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't see why you're throwing yourself out uh so preemptively.
Speaker 2: I don't see any logical reason why you're doing that
Speaker 2: when you could decide right now, in spite of whatever
Speaker 2: transpired in the past, that you want to do the
Speaker 2: best you can moving forward and to just.
Speaker 1: Go go do that.
Speaker 2: What what is logically preventing you from that? Is this
Speaker 2: feeling that you don't deserve it?
Speaker 4: You know that.
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't even like what. I don't even
Speaker 1: know what that.
Speaker 2: Means, what to deserve it or not. It's like, you're
Speaker 2: a dude on the planet Earth. Go figure figure.
Speaker 1: Out how you can.
Speaker 2: Figure out how you can fucking make your life better
Speaker 2: and the lives of people around you better. I don't
Speaker 2: see why anything you've done in the past should prevent
Speaker 2: you from doing that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, no, you're not wrong, my friend. You're not wrong.
Speaker 4: You have a very good point. I should I should
Speaker 4: always try to be better in all things.
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, so go ahead in the way that people.
Speaker 4: Maybe I'll find some redemption in that, who knows, But
Speaker 4: I can't. I can't tone for my sense my past,
Speaker 4: you know, like they're there are things that we can
Speaker 4: never make amends for. That Like, even if I want
Speaker 4: to apologize for the wrongs that I've done for the
Speaker 4: awful things of other people, those people don't want to
Speaker 4: have contact with me because of the bridges that I've burned,
Speaker 4: you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, so I mean, look, let's to that point,
Speaker 2: right you You can accept if you fuck, if you fucked
Speaker 2: up in some way, you can accept, like, I'm not
Speaker 2: going to reach out to this person because this person
Speaker 2: probably don't want to hear from me, And even if
Speaker 2: I did reach out to them, they could reject my apology,
Speaker 2: and that that'd be okay.
Speaker 1: You just got to deal with that.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 2: That's okay That that person rejecting your apology or that
Speaker 2: person not wanting to hear from you again doesn't to
Speaker 2: me negate your ability to move forward in some positive
Speaker 2: direction in your life.
Speaker 4: Mm hmm. You know, yeah, Well, at the end of
Speaker 4: the day, man, it's probably you're right. And it's something
Speaker 4: that I gotta work on, something that I gotta work on.
Speaker 4: I gotta I gotta do a little bit more introspection,
Speaker 4: more self reflection and find a way to I don't
Speaker 4: know that go of some of this ship that career,
Speaker 4: right mm.
Speaker 2: Hmmm, because it's not doing anyone any good, something you
Speaker 2: any good, it's not doing anyone around you any good.
Speaker 1: To just be like to to to.
Speaker 2: Beat the ship out of yourself and decide to stay toxic.
Speaker 1: I think it's a good.
Speaker 2: It's a god, it's always it's a good idea to
Speaker 2: reflect on your actions and reflect on your life and go, Okay,
Speaker 2: here's parts where that just wasn't good, and here's parts
Speaker 2: where I fucked up, and uh like, guess that's a healthy,
Speaker 2: good thing to do. But again, you said it yourself.
Speaker 2: You're a young guy moving forward. You could have you got,
Speaker 2: you know, forty five fifty more years ahead of you
Speaker 2: of positive action in the universe that you're just throwing
Speaker 2: away for for for no reason.
Speaker 5: Hm hm hm.
Speaker 2: And people have varying ideas, and people have varying ideas
Speaker 2: and philosophies about these things, and I respect that. You know,
Speaker 2: some people would agree with you, there's certain things that
Speaker 2: are beyond redemption.
Speaker 1: But I don't.
Speaker 2: I think as long as you're alive and you've and
Speaker 2: you're you're self aware to the point.
Speaker 1: Where you know that you can change yourself, then you should, right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like, and that doesn't that doesn't mean that, that
Speaker 2: doesn't mean that anyone like owes you any kind of like,
Speaker 2: you know, accepting of any apologies or anything. But it
Speaker 2: doesn't mean that or you're you're you're entire you're entitled
Speaker 2: to fix yourself and to pick yourself up and to
Speaker 2: go all right.
Speaker 1: I cannot change the past.
Speaker 4: I can.
Speaker 2: I'm going to reconcile with it, and I'm going to
Speaker 2: make an intentional decision to uh do better in the future,
Speaker 2: especially with how fucking young you are. Like I said,
Speaker 2: you have fifty forty five more years of you know,
Speaker 2: good life ship ahead of you that you're again that
Speaker 2: you're throwing out for no reason.
Speaker 4: Yeah, no, I you there's a lot to think about. Man,
Speaker 4: You're you're you're not wrong in any of what you're saying.
Speaker 4: It's easier to agree with than to actually put into
Speaker 4: practice in my life, though, right, So, I mean, I
Speaker 4: will I'll be thinking about this for the next little while,
Speaker 4: my friend. Then I will I'll see what, if any
Speaker 4: progress can make the defeatistatude.
Speaker 2: I'm sure it doesn't help, you know, you said, the
Speaker 2: defeatist attitude, the attitude attitude.
Speaker 4: I gotta think more positively about this whole thing, you
Speaker 4: know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm, mm hmmm.
Speaker 2: I guess I'm just lost on that. I guess I'm
Speaker 2: just like lost on this idea that your unhappiness with
Speaker 2: how you've acted in the past it led you to
Speaker 2: some point where you're like, well, fuck it, let's just
Speaker 2: keep acting like that, you know.
Speaker 4: I guess it's such a precedent and it kind of
Speaker 4: shapes how you see yourself as a person. Like if
Speaker 4: I did these things, I must be this way, you
Speaker 4: know what I mean.
Speaker 2: Right, but but but but I think I think people
Speaker 2: are more complicated and uh bigger than like labels. Right, Yeah,
Speaker 2: the world is not white, right because you're just like, oh,
Speaker 2: I did this, I must be that way.
Speaker 1: But I don't.
Speaker 2: I think that's just you like boxing yourself in and
Speaker 2: labeling yourself when but our action is.
Speaker 4: Not sometimes also a true reflection of our nature, like
Speaker 4: a true reflection.
Speaker 1: No definitely. Yeah, but you can, you can change your
Speaker 1: actions and therefore change your nature. Would you not agree?
Speaker 4: Yeah? No, fair enough. So then having changed my actions
Speaker 4: over the past four years roughly and worked to better
Speaker 4: myself as a person and you know, be a more
Speaker 4: upstanding member of society, I should still be able to
Speaker 4: let go of this all. But you know, and and
Speaker 4: then say, you know, I've made progress and that counts
Speaker 4: for something, But that doesn't that still doesn't erase the
Speaker 4: sense of the past. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't think the goal is to erase them, right, Okay,
Speaker 2: come to Yeah, yeah, I think the goal is to
Speaker 2: come to terms with them and to figure out how
Speaker 2: to move forward positively in your life despite them. You know,
Speaker 2: mm hmmm, because why that? Why should it again? You're
Speaker 2: just you're throwing you're throwing out you know, fifty years
Speaker 2: of of uh, you know, good good stuff you could
Speaker 2: be doing just because you wanna you know, wallow.
Speaker 4: Mm hmm, yeah, pretty anybody, You're not wrong, Crace, I
Speaker 4: got some issues a buddy, All right, Well, you know.
Speaker 1: What are you gonna go to? You should you should look?
Speaker 2: Look, look, man, I I think you should be less defensive.
Speaker 2: I mean I'm just a fucking gecko guy. You should
Speaker 2: talk to a pro.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I know you've convinced me I might. I
Speaker 4: might benefit from passing this all out with somebody who's
Speaker 4: got some degrees and whatnot, because even this conversation has
Speaker 4: helped me. Man, I appreciate why you do what you do.
Speaker 4: You know?
Speaker 1: Okay, good, good.
Speaker 4: I do have a question before. Why isn't the face red?
Speaker 2: You're really pushing yourself here. I take back everything I said.
Speaker 1: You're your dear nor. Alright, what's your name? What's your name?
Speaker 5: Man? Griff?
Speaker 4: Griff like Peter Griffin?
Speaker 1: Griff?
Speaker 2: Okay, well, Griff, look, good luck to you. I think
Speaker 2: I believe in you. I think you're going to figure
Speaker 2: this out. And you know, keep think about all the
Speaker 2: ship we talked about.
Speaker 4: Yeah, no, one hundred percent. I'm thinking about it.
Speaker 5: Man.
Speaker 4: I appreciate it.
Speaker 1: Hey, cool man, all right, man, I'll talk to you soon.
Speaker 1: Letter on, Thank you, sir, aw from Andrew Andrew.
Speaker 6: Oh, it's the therapy, geck.
Speaker 5: Let's go.
Speaker 1: What's up? How are you doing good? How are you
Speaker 1: doing all right? What's happening?
Speaker 6: I have a proposition for you?
Speaker 1: Uh, a proposition? You say, okay.
Speaker 6: I want to count you to a singular game.
Speaker 1: Okay, big tactoe okay. You want to play it in
Speaker 1: our minds right now?
Speaker 6: Yep, no, no paper, just mentally.
Speaker 4: Let's let's just do it.
Speaker 6: You want to be you want to be.
Speaker 1: All right, I'll be O's.
Speaker 6: Okay, I'll be O's. You want to go first or second?
Speaker 1: I want to go first, okay, all right?
Speaker 4: All right?
Speaker 1: Bottom? Left? I put an O.
Speaker 6: Okay, bomb left. I guess I'll put an X in
Speaker 6: the center.
Speaker 1: Okay, upper left, I put an O.
Speaker 6: Okay, we'll go left, I'll put an X.
Speaker 1: Okay. Right, I put an O.
Speaker 6: Okay, I'll go bottom. I'll put an X.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 1: Top, I put an O.
Speaker 6: Okay, top right, I'll put an X.
Speaker 1: Okay bottom right up? Put Now? Well that was fun.
Speaker 6: What's your name again, Andrew?
Speaker 1: Andrews? Anything particularly called in to talk about?
Speaker 6: Nope, that was it. That was fun. I hope you
Speaker 6: have a good night. Hope chat's doing well. Watching. I'll
Speaker 6: keep watching and I'll see you guys around.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, is that is that all you want?
Speaker 1: We could do? Look, we can do more.
Speaker 2: I mean we I don't want to do any more
Speaker 2: games of TikTok toe because my brain would explode.
Speaker 1: But I mean, who are you?
Speaker 4: That was?
Speaker 6: That was mentally draining?
Speaker 4: It was.
Speaker 6: I'm just chilling right now, you know, Wednesday night. I
Speaker 6: don't know. I mean, I'm pretty pretty satisfied with this call.
Speaker 6: That's all. I really just wanted to just, you know,
Speaker 6: play around, have some fun, what.
Speaker 4: You know what.
Speaker 1: I respect that and I'm gonna let you go.
Speaker 6: Thanks, have a good night, Lyle.
Speaker 1: Soya you too? Take care?
Speaker 4: Wait?
Speaker 1: Did I win all?
Speaker 6: From Peter?
Speaker 4: Peter?
Speaker 5: Hello?
Speaker 1: Hey man?
Speaker 5: How's it going?
Speaker 2: Man?
Speaker 1: It's going good.
Speaker 4: How are you? Oh?
Speaker 5: Not too bad at all?
Speaker 1: Well, Peter, what's happening?
Speaker 5: I'm just watching your stream, hanging out, playing a little
Speaker 5: bit of video games. Just got off of work, not
Speaker 5: doing much of anything.
Speaker 1: Really, is there anything particular that you called in to
Speaker 1: talk about?
Speaker 5: No, not really, kind of just hanging out and wanted
Speaker 5: to talk to somebody that wasn't on a bachelorette party.
Speaker 1: What do your bachelorrett party? We're talking about?
Speaker 5: My fiance is at a bachelor her bachelorette party, and
Speaker 5: I have no one to talk to.
Speaker 1: Oh, okay, so you wanted to call?
Speaker 5: You wanted to call me, I mean, who else am
Speaker 5: I going to call? Really?
Speaker 1: Do you have any friends?
Speaker 5: I have plenty of friends. Yeah, but they're mostly asleep.
Speaker 5: They all work the morning shifts and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: Oh okay. Have you ever tried to just like dive
Speaker 1: into being alone being lonely?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 5: I do that all the time. Yeah, it's great.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you weren't feeling it tonight though?
Speaker 5: No, no, not not tonight. I wouldn't feel a nice.
Speaker 2: Okay, why were you? Why weren't you feeling it tonight?
Speaker 2: What was upsetting about that idea?
Speaker 5: Maybe it's just a lack of options, you know, having
Speaker 5: nobody else, uh, nobody else available?
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
Speaker 5: Just I couldn't choose to be alone.
Speaker 2: So I almost I almost feel like i'm, you know,
Speaker 2: the idea of like you're a second choice. I almost
Speaker 2: feel like I'm like a second choice to yourself.
Speaker 5: Well that's not necessarily true, you're.
Speaker 2: I know, I don't, but it's a funny idea to
Speaker 2: think about, I'm the second choice to yourself.
Speaker 1: You were bored with yourself or it's.
Speaker 2: Or it's it's like you didn't you didn't want to
Speaker 2: hang out with yourself, so you're like, all right, I
Speaker 2: guess I'll hang out with the gecko guy. So it's
Speaker 2: like I'm the second option because you didn't want to
Speaker 2: hang out with you.
Speaker 5: Well, I mean, I'm kind of bored of me, if
Speaker 5: I'm being honest with you, Like what what am I gonna?
Speaker 5: So you can't really talk to yourself without feeling a
Speaker 5: little bit crazy, I feel like, and you can't really
Speaker 5: hang out with yourself at least I can't without doing something,
Speaker 5: and I'm kind of tired of all the things that
Speaker 5: I was doing. Can burn out?
Speaker 1: Look what were you doing?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 5: I was playing a couple of video games and then
Speaker 5: just none of them felt good to play.
Speaker 1: At least I'm a third option. Sure it was you
Speaker 1: the video games and then me, what video games are
Speaker 1: boring you?
Speaker 5: I play a lot of like management simulator games. So
Speaker 5: if you've ever heard of like room World?
Speaker 1: What is room World?
Speaker 5: Room World is kind of like have you ever seen
Speaker 5: the one hundred? The TV show? I? No, Okay, Well
Speaker 5: that doesn't help. Room World is kind of like this
Speaker 5: thing where you have these colonists that you're managing, where
Speaker 5: they're trying to survive and anything could happen from like
Speaker 5: raids from other quote unquote factions or just plague.
Speaker 1: That sounds boring.
Speaker 5: Well, the correct moment, it is.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I almost didn't. I actually didn't.
Speaker 2: I tuned out when I when you first started telling
Speaker 2: me about it, and then I tuned back in and
Speaker 2: I just heard you say the word plague. What about
Speaker 2: I mean, there's good video games out there, man, what
Speaker 2: about like? Uh no, yeah, you're right, I see what
Speaker 2: you called me.
Speaker 5: Okay, yeah, yeah, there's nothing good out right now?
Speaker 2: All right, well, your wife's aid a bachelorette party. Why
Speaker 2: is the wait, why is it her friend's bachelor party?
Speaker 2: Her friend's getting married.
Speaker 5: No, my fiance is uh at her bachelorette party. It's her,
Speaker 5: it's her party.
Speaker 1: Oh oh, so you guys are getting married.
Speaker 5: Yeah, we're getting married in two months.
Speaker 2: Oh so this is okay, wait a minute, so this
Speaker 2: is like your time. You know what's funny is you're
Speaker 2: gonna get married, right, and I'm sure this is gonna
Speaker 2: be great. You guys are a great time. You're gonna
Speaker 2: be happy that you're with somebody that you love. But
Speaker 2: I'm sure every now and then you will miss being
Speaker 2: alone and bored in your apartment.
Speaker 5: I miss being alone even when I'm not alone, if
Speaker 5: that makes sense, Like I can be I can be
Speaker 5: alone and already miss being alone when I haven't even
Speaker 5: gone anywhere yet. I'm going somewhere. But I like being alone,
Speaker 5: I think maybe a little too much.
Speaker 1: Oh what makes you say that?
Speaker 5: Well, I would almost refer to being alone then going
Speaker 5: and doing anything with really anybody.
Speaker 1: Really.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm.
Speaker 1: I'm I'm I'm like that too. I I'm like that too.
Speaker 1: I understand that. Yeah, so why are you getting married?
Speaker 1: That's like the opposite of being alone.
Speaker 5: Okay, so this is where it starts to get interesting.
Speaker 5: I don't like being alone when I don't have the
Speaker 5: choice of being alone. Oh. When I don't. When I
Speaker 5: don't have a choice, it is extremely lonely and it's
Speaker 5: not fun. But when you have the choice of going
Speaker 5: out with friends and you're just kind of not feeling it,
Speaker 5: that's when I can really kind of relax and just
Speaker 5: be alone.
Speaker 2: See, it's like being being ditched by your friends is awful.
Speaker 2: Ditching your friends is great.
Speaker 5: In a sense. Like I don't I don't ditch them.
Speaker 5: But you know, if I have the choice of being like, ah, guys,
Speaker 5: you know, not tonight, I'm not really feeling that great.
Speaker 5: It it just feels better.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I know, it's you know what, it's weird.
Speaker 2: It's like totally bizarre, but I know exactly what you're
Speaker 2: talking about. Yeah, being alone because being alone because you
Speaker 2: have no options feels so much lonelier than being alone
Speaker 2: because you want to be alone.
Speaker 1: That feels empowering.
Speaker 2: That feels like I'm making an intentional decision to that
Speaker 2: could be with myself right now.
Speaker 1: That feels good. It feels confident.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that that feels like you've got your own individual
Speaker 5: personality outside.
Speaker 1: Of your friends, right, It's like who are you and
Speaker 1: your that's when you go to do you go to things? Okay?
Speaker 2: Do you like to go to stuff alone? And like like,
Speaker 2: would you go to like a party alone or go
Speaker 2: to a or do you just like to be alone?
Speaker 2: And when you're alone, do you just like to be
Speaker 2: like completely and utterly alone in your house?
Speaker 5: Kind of a mix of both. I don't like going
Speaker 5: to parties alone. I've done that a lot and that's
Speaker 5: not fun. I do, however, like running errands alone. That's
Speaker 5: so much fun because I can just get in the
Speaker 5: car and listen to music and I can just be
Speaker 5: my kind of my truth to self if that makes use.
Speaker 2: Yeah, how do you feel now that you're going to
Speaker 2: be going on errands with your wife all the time?
Speaker 5: That's that's some different thing, because that's that's fun because
Speaker 5: we can you know, kind of have good conversations in
Speaker 5: the car or throw you know, loud to ask music on,
Speaker 5: or just hang out in silence. Sounds is fine with us.
Speaker 5: But I think I'll still want to do. You know,
Speaker 5: Eron's alone every once in a while, and I think
Speaker 5: she would understand that. She understands that because she likes
Speaker 5: being alone too.
Speaker 1: M hm hmm.
Speaker 5: We'll like two cats. We like being in each other's space.
Speaker 5: We don't want to talk to each other.
Speaker 1: Oh, that's the you know, that's the best. It sounds
Speaker 1: like you found the right person for you. That's the best.
Speaker 2: When you're like being alone, you find somebody else who
Speaker 2: likes being alone and you can be like two cats.
Speaker 1: That's perfect.
Speaker 5: Yeah, we can be alone together.
Speaker 1: No pun intended saying it's perfect, But that's stupid. Shouldn't
Speaker 1: say that. Where's her bachelor party?
Speaker 5: Sorry?
Speaker 2: Where is her bachelor party? Is it like at a
Speaker 2: I don't know, a fucking strip globbers on no, I think.
Speaker 5: They went to an Airbnb and they're doing this whole
Speaker 5: like girl's weekend or something or other they're gonna do
Speaker 5: like they're talking.
Speaker 1: Do you think they're talking about you?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 5: Absolutely, If they are, I'd be disappointed.
Speaker 1: What do you think they're saying about you?
Speaker 5: That's a good question. Honestly, My fiancee is probably bragging
Speaker 5: about me to her friends because I'm like the only
Speaker 5: one of them, Like we're the only like one of
Speaker 5: her friends that is in any sort of good relationship.
Speaker 1: Really.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so one of her.
Speaker 5: Friends is definitely not great with men and does not
Speaker 5: know how to pick them how so, so she she
Speaker 5: is a very religious person. You know, she works at
Speaker 5: a church, but she likes to pick guys that are
Speaker 5: like super tattooed and you know, kind of like that
Speaker 5: punk guy kind of kind of vibe, not really into
Speaker 5: the whole establishment kind of thing.
Speaker 1: I fall there's a little part of her trying to
Speaker 1: like escape this this.
Speaker 2: You know, they tried to escape this establishment that she's
Speaker 2: tied herself to, and that would.
Speaker 5: Make sense if it ever worked.
Speaker 2: Out, right, Yeah right, huh, Well, well, no, I can
Speaker 2: tell why, you guys, you know, I can tell you
Speaker 2: guys work well together because you both like being alone.
Speaker 2: It's really perfect. I mean the opposite. It sounds like,
Speaker 2: sounds like a fucking nightmare. You know, you both cannot
Speaker 2: live without each other. That sounds like it would get
Speaker 2: uh what the real the the fancy schmancy real therapists
Speaker 2: out there call that codependency.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I would. I would say though that I I
Speaker 5: wouldn't know what my life would be like without her,
Speaker 5: But I do like being alone with her.
Speaker 1: Like I like being alone with her. That's that's beautiful.
Speaker 5: Man, like being alone and not we don't. We don't
Speaker 5: ever really whenever I'm alone with her, we don't like
Speaker 5: talk to each other. I'm in my other room, I'm
Speaker 5: hanging out, and I can just pop in because she
Speaker 5: likes to read a lot, so she'll just be, you know,
Speaker 5: on the couch reading, So I'll pop out of my
Speaker 5: out of my little man cave thing that I have
Speaker 5: and I'll just say hello, or you know, fake beat
Speaker 5: her up, or you know that the thing that people
Speaker 5: do where they're like swing, but not really swing. They're
Speaker 5: just kind of like poking fun at them and then
Speaker 5: I just walk away.
Speaker 3: All right.
Speaker 1: Well, that sounds sounds sounds like you guys got a
Speaker 1: healthy thing going on.
Speaker 5: Well, I would hope.
Speaker 1: So, So if I end this call right now, are
Speaker 1: you gonna go baut A You're gonna be lonely again?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 5: Probably not. I'll probably just tune back into the stream
Speaker 5: until it's over and then probably go to sleep.
Speaker 1: You know, you goeah a cool life, man, You should
Speaker 1: be grateful.
Speaker 5: You know, people tell me that a lot.
Speaker 1: What how do you react to that? Usually?
Speaker 5: I don't know how to react to that because I
Speaker 5: don't feel like I had that cool of a life.
Speaker 5: I feel like my life is pretty mundane.
Speaker 1: What do you do for work?
Speaker 5: Probably work at those right now?
Speaker 1: I'm in school, so okay, well already in school to.
Speaker 5: Do aviation administration.
Speaker 1: It does sound kind of boring, Yeah.
Speaker 5: A little bit. It's a little bit boring. I would
Speaker 5: like for administration.
Speaker 1: Can I just say that? Can I just say this?
Speaker 2: And I'm this is I'm saying this to myself. It's
Speaker 2: a fucking honor to live a boring life. I mean,
Speaker 2: Jesus Christ, look at you.
Speaker 5: Oh absolutely, you're You're a king?
Speaker 1: All right.
Speaker 5: There there was some Greek quote where it was like
Speaker 5: it's it's like a curses to you, whoever it is.
Speaker 5: It's like I wish that you would live an interesting life,
Speaker 5: and it was meant to like be an insult to
Speaker 5: whoever was this being was being directed at.
Speaker 1: Is it is there more to what you were going
Speaker 1: to say?
Speaker 5: Nope? Does it okay?
Speaker 1: Well?
Speaker 5: I trail I randomly trail off. I don't know.
Speaker 2: Well, no, you said that the guy. The guy was
Speaker 2: saying to another guy, you should live an interesting life.
Speaker 2: I thought that the guy who wasn't interested living an
Speaker 2: interesting life would have a rebuttal. But I guess that
Speaker 2: his rebuttal was to say nothing because he was boring,
Speaker 2: and so he was being boring in protest.
Speaker 5: I guess, so yeah, maybe, yeah, it's an honor.
Speaker 3: To you know.
Speaker 2: I mean, look, you're a guy, You're alive, you have
Speaker 2: all your fingers and toes, you ate stuff. Today, you
Speaker 2: work at Low's, you get to go outside and stare
Speaker 2: at the sun. There's a lady who thinks you're cool
Speaker 2: enough to live with you. I mean, you got a
Speaker 2: great life. You're you're, you're, you're a god. Right now
Speaker 2: you're living in your life, playing video games, working at Low's,
Speaker 2: and occasionally looking at your wife in the face is
Speaker 2: a psychedelic masterpiece.
Speaker 1: And I hope you look at it like that every day.
Speaker 5: You know what I really needed that actually.
Speaker 1: Good good, good good. I needed them too.
Speaker 5: That was that was lovely. Thank you for that.
Speaker 1: Thank you man. You have a good rest. Is there
Speaker 1: anything what's your name him? Again?
Speaker 5: Uh? Peter, you can call me Peter, Peter.
Speaker 1: Peter's anything else you want to say to the people
Speaker 1: of the computer before we go?
Speaker 5: You know, love your people. If you have people, love
Speaker 5: your people. And if you don't find somebody to love.
Speaker 1: Oh, you're beautiful, hey Peter.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I love you man.
Speaker 4: I love you too.
Speaker 1: Geck you take care all right? You know I forgive
Speaker 1: you for me being the third choice of thing to
Speaker 1: do tonight.
Speaker 5: Well, next time you'll be my first.
Speaker 1: Take care.
Speaker 5: See what a guy?
Speaker 1: I stopped.
Speaker 2: I stopped saying I love you back to people. But
Speaker 2: sometimes when the moment hits, it's just blind passion talking,
Speaker 2: you know.
Speaker 4: It is.
Speaker 2: I believed everything I said. It's a psychedelic experience, just
Speaker 2: being alive. I was at the I was eating bread,
Speaker 2: I was I remember a moment. But I used to
Speaker 2: do the show out of my mom's basement. That's where
Speaker 2: I started it, And I remember there was a moment
Speaker 2: where I was like it was breakfast time and I
Speaker 2: was just watching my stepdad like read the paper while
Speaker 2: my mom ate breakfast. And I was like, you know,
Speaker 2: eating breakfast in the kitchen and like looking at the
Speaker 2: lights and stuff. It's a psychedelic experience to be alive.
Speaker 2: It's really it's pretty weird. It's snarley. I don't have
Speaker 2: any deeper way to phraser than that, but yeah, I'm
Speaker 2: a get Goop.
Speaker 4: Goes on the line taking your phone calls every night.
Speaker 2: Never Beacon goes to and to ride.
Speaker 1: Who's teaching you cloud in the interview life, But he's
Speaker 2: Not really an expert.