Speaker 1: This is Let's be clear, who's Shannon Dhorney. All right, Hello,
Speaker 1: let's be clear listeners. My name is Colin Egglesfield, and
Speaker 1: I am so grateful and honored to be here today
Speaker 1: to be able to share with you my personal journey
Speaker 1: and my experiences of having some health challenges over the
Speaker 1: past few years. Some of you may know me as
Speaker 1: an actor, some of you may know me as someone
Speaker 1: who is active in the health and wellness community, and
Speaker 1: I just wanted to come on here today to share
Speaker 1: with you some of my experiences because what I've realized
Speaker 1: that going through a cancer journey has really taught me
Speaker 1: a lot about myself, a lot about life, and it's
Speaker 1: made me realize that life is something that can't necessarily
Speaker 1: be done alone if you really want to have a
Speaker 1: purposeful and fulfilling life. So I'm just going to tell
Speaker 1: you a little bit about my upbringing, my background, tell
Speaker 1: you a little bit about my experiences with acting, and
Speaker 1: tell you a little bit about what I'm doing now
Speaker 1: in terms of having now survived cancer for the third time, yes,
Speaker 1: three times, And also just wanted to give a little
Speaker 1: bit of a shout out to everyone out there who's
Speaker 1: dealing with any sort of health journey, answer journey, whatever
Speaker 1: it is, I'm going to be sharing with you tonight
Speaker 1: some of the things that have empowered me and enabled
Speaker 1: me to stay empowered through this scary experience. Because when
Speaker 1: someone tells you that you've been diagnosed with cancer, for
Speaker 1: those of you who have heard that phrase, it can
Speaker 1: be very jarring and it can put you into a
Speaker 1: headspace that is not necessarily the best place to be in.
Speaker 1: So the things that have enabled me to stay empowered
Speaker 1: and stay positive through this experience is something that I
Speaker 1: want to share with you all. But first I just
Speaker 1: want to give a huge shout out to Shannon Doherty.
Speaker 1: So Shannon is someone who I grew up watching on
Speaker 1: nine oh two and O and she was someone that
Speaker 1: I always looked up to. When I watched nine O
Speaker 1: two and oh, I was always like, man, those those
Speaker 1: kids look like they're so having so much fun. And
Speaker 1: I think it was a I want to say, I
Speaker 1: was a freshman in high school when that show came on,
Speaker 1: and I always would love to tune in because I
Speaker 1: was like, man, those kids are in Beverly Hills. They
Speaker 1: seem to have you know everything, you know, just the
Speaker 1: best life ever And just to watch the show and
Speaker 1: see them go through their trials and tribulations of relationships
Speaker 1: and heartbreaks and breakups, and you know, it's it's it's
Speaker 1: amazing how close we can feel to characters that we
Speaker 1: watch on TV. And though I never met Shannon, I
Speaker 1: felt like she was someone who I knew just from
Speaker 1: watching her on TV and someone that inspired me to
Speaker 1: know that no matter what's going on in life, that
Speaker 1: you can overcome challenges. From what I knew, Shannon was
Speaker 1: resilient and determined and so passionate about what she did,
Speaker 1: and I think we can all learn something from her
Speaker 1: experience of how she dealt with her cancer journey. But
Speaker 1: just I'll go back a little bit to tell you
Speaker 1: a little bit about my journey and where I'm from.
Speaker 1: And I came from a small little town outside of Detroit,
Speaker 1: Michigan called Farmington. Was born there and grew up and
Speaker 1: my dad was a doctor, actually he was an obstratrician gynecologist,
Speaker 1: and he had gone to school in Chicago, and so
Speaker 1: once he met my mom there, they got married and
Speaker 1: they moved back to Michigan where my dad was from,
Speaker 1: and he had my sister, and then myself and my brother,
Speaker 1: and then my dad got offered a position to move
Speaker 1: back to Chicago to teach at the hospital. So we
Speaker 1: moved back to Chicago when I was about ten years old,
Speaker 1: and watching my dad be a doctor and show up
Speaker 1: to be there for so many people in times of need,
Speaker 1: I really loved the idea of potentially doing that. So
Speaker 1: when it came time for me to go to college,
Speaker 1: I actually started out engineering first because I for some reason,
Speaker 1: was interested in architecture and building things. I was always
Speaker 1: into legos. But once I got to three dimensional vector calculus,
Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, this isn't for me,
Speaker 1: and so I decided to switch majors to biology and
Speaker 1: decided to pursue my pre med endeavors. And when I
Speaker 1: got to my senior year, I was going down this
Speaker 1: road and if anyone of you have seen something borrowed.
Speaker 1: My character Decks actually asks his father this question in
Speaker 1: the movie, where he says, Dad, have you ever been
Speaker 1: in a position where you've been heading down a road
Speaker 1: and you don't think that it's necessarily maybe the path
Speaker 1: that you intuitively think that you're supposed to be on.
Speaker 1: And my character's father in the movie shuts me down
Speaker 1: and he says, Dex, that's not who we are. You're
Speaker 1: going in this direction. And I think I could, I
Speaker 1: could relate to that in a lot of ways, because
Speaker 1: I think sometimes in life we find ourselves in a
Speaker 1: position in life, and you may find yourself in that
Speaker 1: experience or have in the past where in a sense,
Speaker 1: you've been miscast in the story of your own life.
Speaker 1: And so what I mean by that is because of
Speaker 1: where you were born, how you grew up, where you
Speaker 1: you know, who your parents were, what religion you were raised,
Speaker 1: we can find ourselves sort of pushed this into the
Speaker 1: traditions or the path that are considered normal for wherever
Speaker 1: it is that you're from. And so you know, getting
Speaker 1: the job and having a family and raising kids and
Speaker 1: the white picket fence. Although that's something I absolutely desire
Speaker 1: at the time when I was, you know, twenty years old,
Speaker 1: it's hard to really know what you really want in life,
Speaker 1: and when you feel like you're being pushed down a
Speaker 1: path and then you end up into this role and
Speaker 1: you wake up one day and you're like, how the
Speaker 1: hell did I get here? I found myself where I
Speaker 1: could see that path unfolding, where I wasn't sure if
Speaker 1: that's necessarily where I really wanted to go. And as
Speaker 1: it turned out, I heard on the radio about this
Speaker 1: model talent search. So I went to this model talent
Speaker 1: search at the Davenport Holiday and I was going to
Speaker 1: the University of Iowa at the time, and I went
Speaker 1: to this thing and I met these model agent ladies,
Speaker 1: and next thing you know, I got connected with an
Speaker 1: agent in Chicago. And so the reason why I bring
Speaker 1: this up is because in life, we get presented these
Speaker 1: opportunities and these doors may open up to us, but
Speaker 1: sometimes we don't always walk through those doors for whatever reason.
Speaker 1: And I think it's important to at least walk through
Speaker 1: that door and see what it might look like, because
Speaker 1: it's hard to make a decision on where you want
Speaker 1: to go in life and what you want your life
Speaker 1: to be about if you haven't necessarily experienced it yet.
Speaker 1: And when a door opens up, I think it's important
Speaker 1: to listen to your gut, to listen to your instincts,
Speaker 1: say some prayers to God, to the universe, whatever it
Speaker 1: is that, whatever it is that you pray to. And
Speaker 1: as I started going through these doors, as they started
Speaker 1: opening up, I found myself facing a decision do I
Speaker 1: want to go to medical school or do I want
Speaker 1: to go to Europe to pursue this modeling career. And
Speaker 1: I decided that against probably what I felt everyone expected
Speaker 1: me to do, I was like, you know what, I'm
Speaker 1: going to do something that may I may not be
Speaker 1: able to do ever again. So I decided to go
Speaker 1: to Europe. And next thing you know, I was finding
Speaker 1: myself on the runways doing Versace runway shows and met
Speaker 1: Georgia Ormani and some of these amazing designers, and for
Speaker 1: the first time, I really discovered what it meant to
Speaker 1: be around really creative people who were doing something that
Speaker 1: they truly loved and were passionate about. And after that,
Speaker 1: I found myself in New York City and started going
Speaker 1: on some commercial auditions, and acting was something that I
Speaker 1: never thought was going to be on my radar because
Speaker 1: I growing up was introverted. I was shy, and the
Speaker 1: last thing I wanted to do in class was to
Speaker 1: get up and give a speech or anything. I literally
Speaker 1: would have these hyperventilating panic attacks, and any time I
Speaker 1: would have to get up in front of school to
Speaker 1: talk about anything or give the answer. And so the
Speaker 1: last thing I ever thought was in the cards for
Speaker 1: me was getting up in front of people to do
Speaker 1: an acting career. But again one of these doors opened
Speaker 1: up where my acting or my acting modeling agents said,
Speaker 1: why don't you take an acting class to see if
Speaker 1: you like it, see if this may be something that
Speaker 1: you want to give a shot to. And so it
Speaker 1: would have been very easy to say no. And again,
Speaker 1: if we don't know what something is, it's very easy
Speaker 1: to judge it to shut it down before we even
Speaker 1: really know what it is. So I went to this
Speaker 1: acting class, and I would say it was the first
Speaker 1: time in my life where I genuinely felt that this
Speaker 1: was a place where I could learn how to give
Speaker 1: over my fear of being in front of people, being
Speaker 1: authentic and being vulnerable. I mean, as a guy, we
Speaker 1: don't necessarily like to be vulnerable, We don't necessarily necessarily
Speaker 1: like to admit when we are struggling, and I think
Speaker 1: this can keep us stuck in alone. And what acting
Speaker 1: class I started to realize provided to me was this
Speaker 1: space where I could show up and learn how to
Speaker 1: unlearn a lot of the things that I was conditioned
Speaker 1: to how to act growing up. And I started to
Speaker 1: realize that the most important thing in life is to
Speaker 1: be authentic and to be truthful and to be honest
Speaker 1: with yourself. And one of the greatest pieces of advice
Speaker 1: that my acting teacher gave me was she said, it's
Speaker 1: so important for you in order for you to be
Speaker 1: able to play these characters and walk into these auditions
Speaker 1: and for people to be able to to connect with
Speaker 1: you and want to go on these journeys with you,
Speaker 1: is that first and foremost, you have to honor yourself first,
Speaker 1: honor yourself in every regard. And I really was like
Speaker 1: thinking about what that meant and what I started to
Speaker 1: really think and realize that growing up, I was always
Speaker 1: more on that people pleasing side, where I just wanted
Speaker 1: to make friends and I wanted everyone to like me,
Speaker 1: and I was afraid of what people thought of me
Speaker 1: in the fear of judgment. I was super skinny growing up.
Speaker 1: I had headgear and braces, and so I didn't always
Speaker 1: feel comfortable in my own skin. And so the last
Speaker 1: thing I wanted was to be, you know, be a
Speaker 1: target and to be put myself out there for criticism,
Speaker 1: because a lot of what happens when you get in
Speaker 1: front of the camera, front of audiences with TV and
Speaker 1: film is that people are naturally gonna have judgments and opinions.
Speaker 1: And the second piece of advice my acting teacher gave
Speaker 1: us was when you start acting and you start getting
Speaker 1: in front of these audiences, she said, inevitably, people are
Speaker 1: going to judge you. And she said that roughly thirty
Speaker 1: percent of the people that you perform in front of,
Speaker 1: that you get in front of to act or to
Speaker 1: whatever it is, that thirty percent are gonna like you.
Speaker 1: They're gonna resonate with you. You're gonna say something or
Speaker 1: you're gonna do something that makes them feel connected to you,
Speaker 1: and they're gonna like you. They're going to root for you.
Speaker 1: She said. The next thirty percent of the people out
Speaker 1: there that you perform in front of, and even that
Speaker 1: you meet in your daily life, they're not gonna like you.
Speaker 1: For whatever reason, they're not gonna like you. They're gonna
Speaker 1: think that you just look weird, or the sounding of
Speaker 1: your voice is horrible, or that you just look whatever
Speaker 1: a certain way. So thirty percent of people are not
Speaker 1: gonna like you. And then she said, the other forty
Speaker 1: percent of the people in the world, let's see you
Speaker 1: that see your performances, that you meet out in the world,
Speaker 1: they don't care. So she said, it's not your job,
Speaker 1: with acting or with anything in life to try to
Speaker 1: make everyone happy or to please everyone. She said, your
Speaker 1: job is to show up, be truthful, honor yourself, honor
Speaker 1: the character, and be of service to the writer, to
Speaker 1: the director, to the producers and everyone that has come
Speaker 1: together to tell this story. And so it kind of
Speaker 1: just took that pressure off of me for the first
Speaker 1: time where I felt like, Okay, I've got permission to
Speaker 1: not have to worry about what other people think. And
Speaker 1: knowing that people are going to have opinions and they're
Speaker 1: going to have probably negative opinions, it's not my job
Speaker 1: to try to fix it, change it, or be worried
Speaker 1: about what other people think. So now that I had
Speaker 1: this this release of like trying to shoulder the burden
Speaker 1: of pleasing everyone, I could get to work and focus
Speaker 1: on what was the work of the actor and the
Speaker 1: first aspect of being an actor and creating these characters,
Speaker 1: and what really helped me in my real life was,
Speaker 1: in addition to kind of piggybacking on honoring yourself, is
Speaker 1: actually a piece of advice that my grandmother gave me,
Speaker 1: and that was you got to know who you are
Speaker 1: and know where you're at. So when I was growing up,
Speaker 1: my grandmother always used to say, remember who you are,
Speaker 1: and I was like, of course, man, I know who
Speaker 1: I am. I'm like I'm calling you know. I come
Speaker 1: from the South side of Chicago and I go to
Speaker 1: the University of Iowa. I'm ma Hawkeye or whatever it is.
Speaker 1: So we tend to identify ourselves with our external experiences
Speaker 1: or circumstances. And so when she said remember who you are,
Speaker 1: you are if you look at that word, remember, it's remember.
Speaker 1: So a lot of the times when we are seeking
Speaker 1: outside validation for who we are, we can get lost
Speaker 1: in the seeking approval or trying to fit in. And
Speaker 1: when my acting teacher talked about knowing who your character
Speaker 1: is at twenty six, twenty seven years old, I finally
Speaker 1: truly understood what my grandmother meant in terms of remembering
Speaker 1: and reconnecting to who you really are. And most of
Speaker 1: the time we haven't really thought about who we really are.
Speaker 1: So I'm going to give you a little a little
Speaker 1: exercise here for you to really truly know who you
Speaker 1: really are. And for a while, you know, I think
Speaker 1: we go through life trying to figure out who we
Speaker 1: are and where we fit in. And what I realized
Speaker 1: with acting classes is that in order to play the
Speaker 1: characters that we play, we have to decide who this
Speaker 1: character is and we have to to make choices. You'll
Speaker 1: hear that a lot with acting teachers. They'll say, you
Speaker 1: got to make strong choices. Casting directors say, we like
Speaker 1: actors that make these really strong, bold choices that make
Speaker 1: you stand out from every other actor that walks through
Speaker 1: the door. Because with acting, it's roughly you know, for
Speaker 1: every role, there's about four hundred actors that are vuying
Speaker 1: for that same role. So you can imagine if a
Speaker 1: casting director is sitting there an actor after actor after actor,
Speaker 1: or coming in or nowadays it's all on our iPhones
Speaker 1: or whatever. Within that first few seconds of someone seeing
Speaker 1: you or meeting you, it's important that you're able to
Speaker 1: connect with them authentically. And when a casting director is
Speaker 1: seeing so many people, creating and choosing these strong choices
Speaker 1: will help you stand out. But if you're trying to
Speaker 1: fit in and be like everyone else, you're just going
Speaker 1: to blend in and be forgettable. So by making these
Speaker 1: bold choices as an actor, choosing these care I realized,
Speaker 1: we decide who these characters are. We build these characters
Speaker 1: so that when we show up on set, we can
Speaker 1: truthfully play these characters in these imaginary circumstances. And so
Speaker 1: it's an active choosing who you are with acting. And
Speaker 1: I started to realize that as I was going into
Speaker 1: these auditions and choosing these characters and the characteristics of
Speaker 1: who these characters were, whether it was a vampire or
Speaker 1: a fighter pilot or a doctor, I started to realize
Speaker 1: that I was doing more work on analyzing and knowing
Speaker 1: these characters than I even knew myself. And so I
Speaker 1: started to apply this same strategy to my own life.
Speaker 1: So what you can do, start to ask yourself in
Speaker 1: this circumstance, no matter where you're at, And this is
Speaker 1: where I'm going to get into my friends here who
Speaker 1: are dealing with cancer or every other any other health
Speaker 1: ailment out there. No matter what you were dealing with,
Speaker 1: you get to decide who you choose to be. Is
Speaker 1: this experience now, as someone who's been diagnosed with cancer
Speaker 1: three times, this has come in incredibly handy is the
Speaker 1: right word. But it's been incredibly empowering for me to
Speaker 1: use this because in this experience, and I wouldn't wish
Speaker 1: cancer on anyone, but what it has made me do
Speaker 1: or afforded me the experience is to choose who I
Speaker 1: choose to be in life. So I'm not waiting for
Speaker 1: life to tell me who I am, because most of
Speaker 1: the time, as we grow up, you know, we get
Speaker 1: told who we are. Again, we get to decide who
Speaker 1: we are. And when we start actively choosing who we
Speaker 1: are in life, that gives us more of a definitive
Speaker 1: idea of who we are and how we want to
Speaker 1: show up. And a quick and easy way to decide
Speaker 1: who you are is pick three characteristics, and in enacting
Speaker 1: class we choose who is the character's core value. So
Speaker 1: whether your character's value is truth or justice, or power
Speaker 1: or love or revenge. By choosing these three core values,
Speaker 1: you get to decide to be lived by the energy
Speaker 1: and the essence and whatever else you can channel by
Speaker 1: these three qualities. And so what this does is it
Speaker 1: gives you instant access and connection to the answers that
Speaker 1: you need in order to navigate whatever it is that
Speaker 1: you're dealing with. So the three core values that I
Speaker 1: choose to be lived by are inspiration, self expression and boldness,
Speaker 1: And the reason why I choose this is because I've
Speaker 1: always loved to be inspired. I always loved watching inspirational
Speaker 1: videos and movies, and I think that's why I love
Speaker 1: acting so much, Because I love going to movie theater
Speaker 1: or being at home and seeing inspirational stories about incredible
Speaker 1: people who have overcome the odds. I love to be
Speaker 1: in that space of just feeling like empowerment and facing
Speaker 1: you know, and facing the odds and moving forward anyway.
Speaker 1: So I choose to be lived by inspiration. The second
Speaker 1: one is self expression because growing up I wasn't always
Speaker 1: self expressed. I was shy, I was nervous about what
Speaker 1: people would think. And by choosing to be self expression,
Speaker 1: you get to show up and ask the question, not
Speaker 1: what would Colin do or what would Lisa do? Or
Speaker 1: what would Mike do? You get to ask what would
Speaker 1: self expression do? In this moment? Self expression would tell
Speaker 1: the truth. Self expression would show up and be freely
Speaker 1: open about their experiences, about their challenges, about whatever it
Speaker 1: is that they're dealing with. And then the third one, boldness.
Speaker 1: I choose to be lived by boldness, and that way
Speaker 1: you get to decide. By deciding this, you get to
Speaker 1: be lived by would what are the characteristics of boldness?
Speaker 1: So when I was going through my cancer journy and
Speaker 1: having to go to my radiation treatments and my surgeries
Speaker 1: and my chest X rays and cat scans, you get
Speaker 1: to ask and decide and be lived by what would
Speaker 1: boldness do right now? So again not what Colin would do,
Speaker 1: because Colin would want to run for the hills and
Speaker 1: be like, no way, I don't want to get poked, prodded,
Speaker 1: lit up or cut open any more times. But when
Speaker 1: you ask the question what would boldness do? Or you
Speaker 1: can ask if you want to be if maybe you're
Speaker 1: lacking love in your relationship, you could choose love as
Speaker 1: one of your three core values, and then that way
Speaker 1: you can be lived by love. And so you could ask, well,
Speaker 1: what would love do? So instead of showing up in
Speaker 1: the world and expecting or wishing that someone would love,
Speaker 1: you show up as love, so that when you show
Speaker 1: up that you are the giving and receiving of love.
Speaker 1: And when you are showing up in life being the
Speaker 1: present moment existence of something, you attract it. So I'm
Speaker 1: sure you've heard of the law of attraction and manifestation
Speaker 1: a lot of people have been talking about it. It's
Speaker 1: become a buzzword. But it's important to know that like
Speaker 1: energy attracts like energy, and so if you're constantly showing
Speaker 1: up in life with the negative thoughts and doubt and uncertainty,
Speaker 1: you're going to attract more of that. And it's amazing
Speaker 1: how when you start to, as my nana said, know
Speaker 1: who you are, remember who you are. When you start
Speaker 1: to go inward and choose these three core values, it's
Speaker 1: amazing how empowerment or love or self expression will start
Speaker 1: to show up in your life because you have actively
Speaker 1: chosen it. So that really helped me start to embark
Speaker 1: along my path. And as I was going through my
Speaker 1: acting journey, I was going on these auditions and finally,
Speaker 1: after like seven eight years of auditioning, I booked a
Speaker 1: role on All My Children, playing the the transplanted, unboarded
Speaker 1: fetus of Ericacane otherwise known as Susan Lucci, and so
Speaker 1: being able to play Susan Lucci's son and All My Children,
Speaker 1: it was an amazing experience. And soap operas are incredibly
Speaker 1: demanding for a regular TV show that airs on nighttime TV,
Speaker 1: that hour long TV show is essentially actually only forty
Speaker 1: minutes because it's about twenty minutes of commercials, and a
Speaker 1: normal hour long primetime television show that airs once a
Speaker 1: week usually takes about five to seven twelve hour days
Speaker 1: to film. For a movie, you're and you usually for
Speaker 1: a primetime TV show, you're shooting about maybe ten to
Speaker 1: fifteen pages of dialogue every day, and then for a
Speaker 1: movie you're maybe shooting three to eight pages a day.
Speaker 1: With soap opera, you're shooting eighty pages a day. So
Speaker 1: it is you show up, you got to know your lines,
Speaker 1: you got to deliver, and so it's this constant, just
Speaker 1: like flood of dialogue and information, and so very quickly
Speaker 1: you start to realize that you've got to become good
Speaker 1: at memorizing. And by showing up and having this experience
Speaker 1: of doing this for three years, it empower me to
Speaker 1: realize that if you know you can make soap opera believable,
Speaker 1: then there may be a chance of actually doing some
Speaker 1: other things as well. So when my contract was almost
Speaker 1: like well, i was six months into my three year
Speaker 1: contract with all my children, and when I got that role,
Speaker 1: I was super excited because I'd been pursuing acting for
Speaker 1: like seven or eight years, and what really emboldened me
Speaker 1: to pursue acting in the first place was if I
Speaker 1: could just go up for a second go back. I
Speaker 1: was living across the street from the World Trade Center
Speaker 1: in two thousand and one, and I'd only been studying
Speaker 1: acting for like two years, and I'd done one role.
Speaker 1: My first role was actually getting into bed with Jenny
Speaker 1: Garth from nine oh two to zero, giving her a
Speaker 1: glass of wine in this show called The Street, and
Speaker 1: I had one line. And then my next role was
Speaker 1: a mail escort on Law and Order SVU. So not
Speaker 1: the biggest resume to be thinking I could go out
Speaker 1: to Hollywood and be the next Tom Cruise. That morning
Speaker 1: of nine to eleven, when I woke up and I
Speaker 1: saw out of my window the flames, and quickly soon
Speaker 1: thereafter saw that people were hanging their heads out of
Speaker 1: the windows of the World Trade Center. I quickly realized
Speaker 1: that those people weren't just watching, that they were trapped,
Speaker 1: and I turned on the TV and I started I
Speaker 1: grabbed my video camera, I started videotaping, and I've got
Speaker 1: footage of that second plane coming in and it was
Speaker 1: just horrific to see people actually then starting to jump
Speaker 1: out of the top of the towers. And after that
Speaker 1: second plane hit, I ran downstairs and standing outside of
Speaker 1: my apartment building just watching people stuck up at the
Speaker 1: top of those towers. It was just heartbreaking and something
Speaker 1: you can't on sea. And when that first tower fell,
Speaker 1: I was one of the people running down the street.
Speaker 1: And then the second tower fell, and it was a
Speaker 1: few days before I could actually get back to my
Speaker 1: apartment and when I did, when the towers fell, my
Speaker 1: windows got blown through, so I my place looked like
Speaker 1: a bomb had blown up inside of my apartment. So
Speaker 1: I had only a few minutes to grab whatever I
Speaker 1: could put into a suitcase and then leave, and I
Speaker 1: went to a hotel and I sat down on the
Speaker 1: floor and it really made me think about what was
Speaker 1: important in life and what did I want my life
Speaker 1: to be about, because I've essentially I felt like in
Speaker 1: that moment, I had a second chance, and I realized
Speaker 1: that those close to three thousand people that perished that day,
Speaker 1: they don't have a second chance. And so no matter
Speaker 1: what you're dealing with, whether it's cancer or a challenge
Speaker 1: or a relationship issue, at least you have the chance
Speaker 1: or the opportunity to decide who you want to be
Speaker 1: in this experience, and the last thing I wanted to
Speaker 1: do was to let that experience define who I was
Speaker 1: and to get me down. And I realized the only
Speaker 1: thing that was holding me back from going out to
Speaker 1: Hollywood to pursue this crazy idea of being a professional
Speaker 1: actor was my limiting beliefs and that fear of failure.
Speaker 1: And I just I was like, well, what would my
Speaker 1: acting teacher, Jackie Siegel say, on yourself and Nana, remember
Speaker 1: who you are? And I was like, you know what,
Speaker 1: the only thing that's stopping me is my own self doubt.
Speaker 1: And I just started thinking about if I were one
Speaker 1: of those people trapped up in the towers, if I
Speaker 1: was given a second chance at life, or if you
Speaker 1: were given a second chance at life, what would you
Speaker 1: do and would you let your fears and your doubts
Speaker 1: stop you from going after what you truly care about
Speaker 1: and what matters most to you? And I was like,
Speaker 1: I realized the only thing that was holding me back
Speaker 1: was me, and so I decided, you know what, screw it,
Speaker 1: let's go, let's do this. I went out to Hollywood,
Speaker 1: and this is where you got to understand you don't
Speaker 1: have to be the best, you don't have to be
Speaker 1: the smartest, you don't have to be the best looking,
Speaker 1: because that's not about that. I only had two years
Speaker 1: of acting experience and I went out to Hollywood and
Speaker 1: I started booking these roles because I was going into
Speaker 1: these auditions with this passion and this desire to be like,
Speaker 1: holy crap, I'm glad to be alive. So when you
Speaker 1: show up in life not worried about what other people think,
Speaker 1: but you're focused on whatever what it is that you
Speaker 1: truly passionately desire and want from here not from here,
Speaker 1: the world starts showing up differently for you. And after
Speaker 1: I started doing this, after a few years of auditioning,
Speaker 1: I booked that role on all my children. So then
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, this is amazing. I'm now
Speaker 1: doing what I love to do. I'm now getting paid
Speaker 1: to do it. And six months into my three year contract,
Speaker 1: I got diagnosed with testicular cancer. And now, for those
Speaker 1: of you out there have been diagnosed with cancer, that's
Speaker 1: not a fun day when someone you know, when my
Speaker 1: doctor told me you've got cancer, it's advanced stage, and
Speaker 1: I'm scheduling you for surgery. This was on a Friday,
Speaker 1: scheduling you for surgery on a Monday. It was like
Speaker 1: I was in denial. I was like, how can that be?
Speaker 1: I take care of myself. I try to eat healthy.
Speaker 1: And so this is where the disempowerment can come up.
Speaker 1: And you really got to decide that I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: let this experience define who I am or how my
Speaker 1: outlook is going to be. So I decided, all right,
Speaker 1: I'm going to decide who do I need to be
Speaker 1: in this experience. And so I started relying on my
Speaker 1: acting training, and so I decide to be bold, courageous.
Speaker 1: I decide to be Maximists from Gladiator or whoever character
Speaker 1: or superhero that you choose to be, and start channeling
Speaker 1: that energy because this is this is the access and
Speaker 1: the leverage for us to be able to accomplish anything
Speaker 1: in life. And I'm telling you it doesn't matter what
Speaker 1: challenge you are facing right now. You can start to
Speaker 1: create this definitive way that this is going to go
Speaker 1: for you and know that no matter what happens in life,
Speaker 1: that we are these spiritual creatures having this human experience.
Speaker 1: And if you can start to look at yourself through
Speaker 1: the eyes of like let's say a screenwriter or a director.
Speaker 1: You can start looking at your life and say, how
Speaker 1: do I want my life to go? How do I
Speaker 1: want this story to go? And if I don't like
Speaker 1: how it's going, how can I choose to be this
Speaker 1: empowered character in this experience? Because face it, we all
Speaker 1: know this. We're not all going to live forever. We're
Speaker 1: all gonna die at some time. So it's important to
Speaker 1: focus on making this life as amazing and as great
Speaker 1: as it possibly can be. And if you are feeling stuck,
Speaker 1: if you are feeling frustrated, or if you're feeling like
Speaker 1: there's no way out, I'm telling you there is. And
Speaker 1: the way to find a way through this is to
Speaker 1: look at this from a different perspective. And so this
Speaker 1: is what now leads me to my third point. The
Speaker 1: first one is know who you are. The second one
Speaker 1: is decide who you are. The third one is you
Speaker 1: got to have the support of your community around you.
Speaker 1: So it's important that you reach out to your friends,
Speaker 1: your family, and you don't have to be needy in
Speaker 1: this experience. It's about being honest and honoring yourself and
Speaker 1: communicating to other people what you need in this experience,
Speaker 1: and by doing so, you provide other people the opportunity
Speaker 1: to show up to be what and for them to
Speaker 1: be who they want to be. And a lot of
Speaker 1: people want to be purposeful and they want to experience
Speaker 1: what it means to be there for someone. But when
Speaker 1: you deny them that experience, then both people are disconnected
Speaker 1: and alone. And after being diagnosed with cancer that first
Speaker 1: time and having my first surgery, I had to go
Speaker 1: for my radiation treatment, and I was showing up on
Speaker 1: all my children working in the morning and then going
Speaker 1: for my treatment. And after my treatment, I would just
Speaker 1: feel sick and tired and just sluggish, like you've got
Speaker 1: the flu. And I would go back to work the
Speaker 1: next day and do this over and over again. And
Speaker 1: towards the end of my treatment, I had my scene
Speaker 1: and all my children were scheduled for the end of day,
Speaker 1: so I scheduled my radiation treatment for the morning, so
Speaker 1: I went to that and then I went to work,
Speaker 1: and then I started feeling tired and sluggish and just
Speaker 1: sweaty and hot, and I tried to do my scenes
Speaker 1: and one of my director, the director at the time,
Speaker 1: came up to me and he said Colin, you're right,
Speaker 1: you don't look so good, and I immediately I just
Speaker 1: I broke down because I realized that I couldn't hold
Speaker 1: it in any longer. I'd been holding this in for
Speaker 1: like three months, and I didn't tell anyone at work.
Speaker 1: No one knew it all my children because it's guy stuff,
Speaker 1: it's testicular cancer. And I realized that I finally realized
Speaker 1: I couldn't do this alone. I needed to tell people.
Speaker 1: And what was great about that as soon as everyone
Speaker 1: found out at all my children, everyone showed up and
Speaker 1: they offered to take me to my doctor's appointments, to
Speaker 1: go with me, to help, you know, to bring food
Speaker 1: to me. And it really helped make me feel supported
Speaker 1: to be able to go through this experience. And then
Speaker 1: that way, as I started to get better and I
Speaker 1: started meeting other people who are going through this experience,
Speaker 1: I started to be able to then show up for
Speaker 1: them to pay it forward and pay it back. And
Speaker 1: then a year later I got diagnosed with particular cancer
Speaker 1: on the other side now was two thousand and six
Speaker 1: and two thousand and seven. So the benefit to this
Speaker 1: is that I've been in this high risk category, so
Speaker 1: I've been getting my checkups regularly, And for those of
Speaker 1: you out there who haven't gone to the doctor in
Speaker 1: a while, I would say, if you care about yourself.
Speaker 1: And again, as Jackie Siegel, my first acting teacher, said,
Speaker 1: honor yourself. One of the things I got to do.
Speaker 1: Whenever you're facing a decision, just ask the question, does
Speaker 1: this honor me if I don't do this? Or does
Speaker 1: it honor me if I do do this? And so
Speaker 1: by asking you that question, does it honor you to
Speaker 1: go to get your checkups? If not for you, for
Speaker 1: the people that love you and care about you, It's
Speaker 1: not that difficult to go to the doctor and get
Speaker 1: your checkups. For prostate cancer, which I was recently diagnosed
Speaker 1: with last year, it's the number one diagnosed cancer in
Speaker 1: the world. And for women it's breast cancer. And so
Speaker 1: by going and getting your checkups, if you go for
Speaker 1: early detection, and if you get it and catch it early,
Speaker 1: the cure rates are are way more in your favor.
Speaker 1: For men, it's a ninety seven percent cure rate if
Speaker 1: you catch this early. And I elected to have surgery,
Speaker 1: and so after that, and that was two months ago,
Speaker 1: and so I'm two months post surgery from prostate cancer
Speaker 1: and again being diagnosed and being told you have cancer
Speaker 1: for a third time. It's still it's still a scary experience.
Speaker 1: But what I've realized again through this third time of
Speaker 1: going through this is that now that I'm more able
Speaker 1: and open to be able to communicate to people what
Speaker 1: I'm going through and what I need, this has been
Speaker 1: an incredible exp because so many people have been able
Speaker 1: to show up to support me along this journey. So,
Speaker 1: no matter where you are at or what you're dealing
Speaker 1: with again, I would implore you to honor yourself, remember
Speaker 1: who you are, and to ask for support when you
Speaker 1: need it. It is actually courageous and it requires strength
Speaker 1: to ask for support. But when you do that, your
Speaker 1: community will show up. And if they aren't showing up
Speaker 1: for you, there's a lot of support groups out there
Speaker 1: that can support you in whatever journey that you are
Speaker 1: going on. And so if you are looking for any need,
Speaker 1: if you're in need of any support, you can go
Speaker 1: to my website callin Nicholsfield dot com. I do monthly
Speaker 1: meetups through my Patreon community. I do retreats. I've got
Speaker 1: one coming up April third through the seventh in Scottsdale, Arizona.
Speaker 1: At these retreats, anyone is welcome, men, women, And what
Speaker 1: we do is we do a weekend of rejuvenation. It's
Speaker 1: health and wellness. We do yoga, sound bowl healing, we
Speaker 1: go hiking, we do a dance contest. On Saturday night,
Speaker 1: I have a whole lineup of empowering guest speakers about
Speaker 1: mindfulness and wellness. And on Sunday we're doing horseback riding
Speaker 1: and then I'm going to be doing a private screening
Speaker 1: of my new movie Where the Wind Blows on April sixth.
Speaker 1: So if you're interested in coming to the retreat, we've
Speaker 1: got a great group of people coming. We've got four
Speaker 1: spots left. Again, you go to my website Collinegglesfield dot com,
Speaker 1: click on the events tab and so I've got Scott
Speaker 1: still and I've got Ireland coming up May twenty seconds
Speaker 1: through the twenty sixth hike's wellness, yoga, all that good stuff.
Speaker 1: So again I'm here to support you, and I'm here
Speaker 1: to just sends you through the internet waves. Here my support,
Speaker 1: my love, my strength, and i just want to say
Speaker 1: thank you again to Shannon for inspiring me to go
Speaker 1: out there into the world and pursue my dreams and
Speaker 1: my goals. And I just want to say thank you
Speaker 1: teaching every one of you out there who's here listening
Speaker 1: to this, And if anyone you know needs to hear
Speaker 1: this message, I would encourage you to share it with them.
Speaker 1: And I just want to say, take care for now,
Speaker 1: You're not alone. Love you all,