WEBVTT - Let's Get Inspired...with Colin Egglesfield 0:00:02.480 --> 0:00:08.680 This is Let's be clear, who's Shannon Dhorney. All right, Hello, 0:00:08.840 --> 0:00:12.320 let's be clear listeners. My name is Colin Egglesfield, and 0:00:12.360 --> 0:00:15.800 I am so grateful and honored to be here today 0:00:15.920 --> 0:00:18.880 to be able to share with you my personal journey 0:00:19.040 --> 0:00:23.439 and my experiences of having some health challenges over the 0:00:23.440 --> 0:00:26.480 past few years. Some of you may know me as 0:00:26.520 --> 0:00:28.840 an actor, some of you may know me as someone 0:00:28.840 --> 0:00:33.640 who is active in the health and wellness community, and 0:00:34.080 --> 0:00:36.480 I just wanted to come on here today to share 0:00:36.479 --> 0:00:39.919 with you some of my experiences because what I've realized 0:00:40.080 --> 0:00:44.519 that going through a cancer journey has really taught me 0:00:44.640 --> 0:00:47.760 a lot about myself, a lot about life, and it's 0:00:47.800 --> 0:00:54.440 made me realize that life is something that can't necessarily 0:00:54.480 --> 0:00:57.960 be done alone if you really want to have a 0:00:58.040 --> 0:01:02.160 purposeful and fulfilling life. So I'm just going to tell 0:01:02.200 --> 0:01:05.959 you a little bit about my upbringing, my background, tell 0:01:06.000 --> 0:01:09.680 you a little bit about my experiences with acting, and 0:01:10.480 --> 0:01:12.640 tell you a little bit about what I'm doing now 0:01:12.720 --> 0:01:16.520 in terms of having now survived cancer for the third time, yes, 0:01:16.920 --> 0:01:21.959 three times, And also just wanted to give a little 0:01:22.480 --> 0:01:25.039 bit of a shout out to everyone out there who's 0:01:25.120 --> 0:01:29.759 dealing with any sort of health journey, answer journey, whatever 0:01:29.800 --> 0:01:32.160 it is, I'm going to be sharing with you tonight 0:01:32.200 --> 0:01:34.720 some of the things that have empowered me and enabled 0:01:34.720 --> 0:01:39.039 me to stay empowered through this scary experience. Because when 0:01:39.080 --> 0:01:42.920 someone tells you that you've been diagnosed with cancer, for 0:01:42.959 --> 0:01:46.360 those of you who have heard that phrase, it can 0:01:46.680 --> 0:01:51.200 be very jarring and it can put you into a 0:01:51.320 --> 0:01:54.320 headspace that is not necessarily the best place to be in. 0:01:54.440 --> 0:01:57.440 So the things that have enabled me to stay empowered 0:01:57.440 --> 0:02:00.240 and stay positive through this experience is something that I 0:02:00.240 --> 0:02:02.560 want to share with you all. But first I just 0:02:02.600 --> 0:02:05.640 want to give a huge shout out to Shannon Doherty. 0:02:05.960 --> 0:02:09.200 So Shannon is someone who I grew up watching on 0:02:09.280 --> 0:02:12.280 nine oh two and O and she was someone that 0:02:12.360 --> 0:02:16.160 I always looked up to. When I watched nine O 0:02:16.280 --> 0:02:19.040 two and oh, I was always like, man, those those 0:02:19.120 --> 0:02:21.240 kids look like they're so having so much fun. And 0:02:21.280 --> 0:02:23.200 I think it was a I want to say, I 0:02:23.240 --> 0:02:25.400 was a freshman in high school when that show came on, 0:02:26.400 --> 0:02:29.080 and I always would love to tune in because I 0:02:29.160 --> 0:02:31.720 was like, man, those kids are in Beverly Hills. They 0:02:31.720 --> 0:02:35.520 seem to have you know everything, you know, just the 0:02:35.560 --> 0:02:37.960 best life ever And just to watch the show and 0:02:37.960 --> 0:02:41.320 see them go through their trials and tribulations of relationships 0:02:41.400 --> 0:02:45.160 and heartbreaks and breakups, and you know, it's it's it's 0:02:45.200 --> 0:02:47.960 amazing how close we can feel to characters that we 0:02:48.040 --> 0:02:51.080 watch on TV. And though I never met Shannon, I 0:02:51.120 --> 0:02:56.240 felt like she was someone who I knew just from 0:02:56.240 --> 0:02:59.600 watching her on TV and someone that inspired me to 0:03:00.040 --> 0:03:02.720 know that no matter what's going on in life, that 0:03:02.800 --> 0:03:06.440 you can overcome challenges. From what I knew, Shannon was 0:03:06.639 --> 0:03:11.640 resilient and determined and so passionate about what she did, 0:03:11.840 --> 0:03:14.960 and I think we can all learn something from her 0:03:15.000 --> 0:03:17.480 experience of how she dealt with her cancer journey. But 0:03:18.639 --> 0:03:20.679 just I'll go back a little bit to tell you 0:03:20.720 --> 0:03:22.640 a little bit about my journey and where I'm from. 0:03:23.400 --> 0:03:27.880 And I came from a small little town outside of Detroit, 0:03:27.919 --> 0:03:31.280 Michigan called Farmington. Was born there and grew up and 0:03:31.320 --> 0:03:34.440 my dad was a doctor, actually he was an obstratrician gynecologist, 0:03:35.240 --> 0:03:37.840 and he had gone to school in Chicago, and so 0:03:37.960 --> 0:03:40.520 once he met my mom there, they got married and 0:03:40.680 --> 0:03:43.560 they moved back to Michigan where my dad was from, 0:03:43.640 --> 0:03:46.360 and he had my sister, and then myself and my brother, 0:03:46.600 --> 0:03:48.440 and then my dad got offered a position to move 0:03:48.480 --> 0:03:50.600 back to Chicago to teach at the hospital. So we 0:03:50.640 --> 0:03:52.800 moved back to Chicago when I was about ten years old, 0:03:53.480 --> 0:03:56.880 and watching my dad be a doctor and show up 0:03:56.920 --> 0:04:01.000 to be there for so many people in times of need, 0:04:01.640 --> 0:04:04.000 I really loved the idea of potentially doing that. So 0:04:04.000 --> 0:04:06.080 when it came time for me to go to college, 0:04:07.440 --> 0:04:11.640 I actually started out engineering first because I for some reason, 0:04:11.760 --> 0:04:15.840 was interested in architecture and building things. I was always 0:04:15.840 --> 0:04:20.040 into legos. But once I got to three dimensional vector calculus, 0:04:20.120 --> 0:04:21.680 I was like, you know what, this isn't for me, 0:04:21.720 --> 0:04:23.960 and so I decided to switch majors to biology and 0:04:24.000 --> 0:04:29.880 decided to pursue my pre med endeavors. And when I 0:04:29.880 --> 0:04:34.120 got to my senior year, I was going down this 0:04:34.279 --> 0:04:38.000 road and if anyone of you have seen something borrowed. 0:04:38.080 --> 0:04:42.000 My character Decks actually asks his father this question in 0:04:42.040 --> 0:04:44.400 the movie, where he says, Dad, have you ever been 0:04:44.440 --> 0:04:47.360 in a position where you've been heading down a road 0:04:47.480 --> 0:04:51.040 and you don't think that it's necessarily maybe the path 0:04:51.880 --> 0:04:55.120 that you intuitively think that you're supposed to be on. 0:04:55.600 --> 0:05:00.360 And my character's father in the movie shuts me down 0:05:00.520 --> 0:05:03.960 and he says, Dex, that's not who we are. You're 0:05:04.200 --> 0:05:07.800 going in this direction. And I think I could, I 0:05:07.839 --> 0:05:09.680 could relate to that in a lot of ways, because 0:05:09.680 --> 0:05:12.720 I think sometimes in life we find ourselves in a 0:05:12.760 --> 0:05:15.279 position in life, and you may find yourself in that 0:05:15.360 --> 0:05:19.359 experience or have in the past where in a sense, 0:05:19.360 --> 0:05:22.359 you've been miscast in the story of your own life. 0:05:22.839 --> 0:05:25.520 And so what I mean by that is because of 0:05:25.760 --> 0:05:28.360 where you were born, how you grew up, where you 0:05:28.360 --> 0:05:30.920 you know, who your parents were, what religion you were raised, 0:05:31.560 --> 0:05:35.240 we can find ourselves sort of pushed this into the 0:05:35.880 --> 0:05:42.160 traditions or the path that are considered normal for wherever 0:05:42.200 --> 0:05:45.080 it is that you're from. And so you know, getting 0:05:45.080 --> 0:05:48.520 the job and having a family and raising kids and 0:05:48.560 --> 0:05:53.400 the white picket fence. Although that's something I absolutely desire 0:05:53.680 --> 0:05:57.840 at the time when I was, you know, twenty years old, 0:05:57.880 --> 0:06:00.480 it's hard to really know what you really want in life, 0:06:01.000 --> 0:06:03.160 and when you feel like you're being pushed down a 0:06:03.200 --> 0:06:06.200 path and then you end up into this role and 0:06:06.240 --> 0:06:08.200 you wake up one day and you're like, how the 0:06:08.240 --> 0:06:10.840 hell did I get here? I found myself where I 0:06:10.880 --> 0:06:14.120 could see that path unfolding, where I wasn't sure if 0:06:14.120 --> 0:06:18.080 that's necessarily where I really wanted to go. And as 0:06:18.240 --> 0:06:19.960 it turned out, I heard on the radio about this 0:06:20.040 --> 0:06:23.200 model talent search. So I went to this model talent 0:06:23.240 --> 0:06:25.359 search at the Davenport Holiday and I was going to 0:06:25.360 --> 0:06:28.280 the University of Iowa at the time, and I went 0:06:28.320 --> 0:06:31.479 to this thing and I met these model agent ladies, 0:06:32.160 --> 0:06:34.920 and next thing you know, I got connected with an 0:06:34.960 --> 0:06:38.800 agent in Chicago. And so the reason why I bring 0:06:38.839 --> 0:06:41.200 this up is because in life, we get presented these 0:06:41.200 --> 0:06:44.719 opportunities and these doors may open up to us, but 0:06:44.839 --> 0:06:47.680 sometimes we don't always walk through those doors for whatever reason. 0:06:48.000 --> 0:06:52.480 And I think it's important to at least walk through 0:06:52.480 --> 0:06:55.280 that door and see what it might look like, because 0:06:55.279 --> 0:06:57.640 it's hard to make a decision on where you want 0:06:57.680 --> 0:06:59.760 to go in life and what you want your life 0:06:59.760 --> 0:07:03.040 to be about if you haven't necessarily experienced it yet. 0:07:03.400 --> 0:07:06.440 And when a door opens up, I think it's important 0:07:06.520 --> 0:07:08.560 to listen to your gut, to listen to your instincts, 0:07:09.279 --> 0:07:11.840 say some prayers to God, to the universe, whatever it 0:07:11.880 --> 0:07:15.880 is that, whatever it is that you pray to. And 0:07:15.920 --> 0:07:18.360 as I started going through these doors, as they started 0:07:18.400 --> 0:07:23.120 opening up, I found myself facing a decision do I 0:07:23.120 --> 0:07:24.640 want to go to medical school or do I want 0:07:24.640 --> 0:07:27.400 to go to Europe to pursue this modeling career. And 0:07:27.440 --> 0:07:33.120 I decided that against probably what I felt everyone expected 0:07:33.160 --> 0:07:35.040 me to do, I was like, you know what, I'm 0:07:35.080 --> 0:07:37.680 going to do something that may I may not be 0:07:37.720 --> 0:07:39.640 able to do ever again. So I decided to go 0:07:39.680 --> 0:07:42.520 to Europe. And next thing you know, I was finding 0:07:42.560 --> 0:07:47.560 myself on the runways doing Versace runway shows and met 0:07:47.560 --> 0:07:50.680 Georgia Ormani and some of these amazing designers, and for 0:07:50.720 --> 0:07:53.600 the first time, I really discovered what it meant to 0:07:54.440 --> 0:07:57.040 be around really creative people who were doing something that 0:07:57.080 --> 0:08:00.800 they truly loved and were passionate about. And after that, 0:08:00.880 --> 0:08:02.960 I found myself in New York City and started going 0:08:03.000 --> 0:08:06.600 on some commercial auditions, and acting was something that I 0:08:06.680 --> 0:08:09.880 never thought was going to be on my radar because 0:08:10.040 --> 0:08:13.560 I growing up was introverted. I was shy, and the 0:08:13.640 --> 0:08:15.320 last thing I wanted to do in class was to 0:08:15.360 --> 0:08:18.560 get up and give a speech or anything. I literally 0:08:18.560 --> 0:08:22.240 would have these hyperventilating panic attacks, and any time I 0:08:22.240 --> 0:08:24.240 would have to get up in front of school to 0:08:24.320 --> 0:08:28.360 talk about anything or give the answer. And so the 0:08:28.480 --> 0:08:31.000 last thing I ever thought was in the cards for 0:08:31.080 --> 0:08:32.880 me was getting up in front of people to do 0:08:33.000 --> 0:08:36.240 an acting career. But again one of these doors opened 0:08:36.320 --> 0:08:40.120 up where my acting or my acting modeling agents said, 0:08:40.120 --> 0:08:42.280 why don't you take an acting class to see if 0:08:42.280 --> 0:08:44.800 you like it, see if this may be something that 0:08:44.840 --> 0:08:47.960 you want to give a shot to. And so it 0:08:47.960 --> 0:08:51.240 would have been very easy to say no. And again, 0:08:51.360 --> 0:08:53.760 if we don't know what something is, it's very easy 0:08:53.800 --> 0:08:56.240 to judge it to shut it down before we even 0:08:56.280 --> 0:08:58.640 really know what it is. So I went to this 0:08:58.720 --> 0:09:03.120 acting class, and I would say it was the first 0:09:03.120 --> 0:09:07.120 time in my life where I genuinely felt that this 0:09:07.280 --> 0:09:09.760 was a place where I could learn how to give 0:09:10.000 --> 0:09:13.320 over my fear of being in front of people, being 0:09:13.360 --> 0:09:18.920 authentic and being vulnerable. I mean, as a guy, we 0:09:18.960 --> 0:09:22.319 don't necessarily like to be vulnerable, We don't necessarily necessarily 0:09:22.360 --> 0:09:26.079 like to admit when we are struggling, and I think 0:09:26.120 --> 0:09:30.160 this can keep us stuck in alone. And what acting 0:09:30.200 --> 0:09:32.959 class I started to realize provided to me was this 0:09:33.160 --> 0:09:36.160 space where I could show up and learn how to 0:09:36.400 --> 0:09:39.360 unlearn a lot of the things that I was conditioned 0:09:39.679 --> 0:09:44.440 to how to act growing up. And I started to 0:09:44.480 --> 0:09:46.800 realize that the most important thing in life is to 0:09:46.800 --> 0:09:50.000 be authentic and to be truthful and to be honest 0:09:50.040 --> 0:09:52.760 with yourself. And one of the greatest pieces of advice 0:09:52.800 --> 0:09:55.640 that my acting teacher gave me was she said, it's 0:09:55.679 --> 0:09:59.400 so important for you in order for you to be 0:09:59.400 --> 0:10:02.240 able to play these characters and walk into these auditions 0:10:02.960 --> 0:10:06.360 and for people to be able to to connect with 0:10:06.400 --> 0:10:09.400 you and want to go on these journeys with you, 0:10:10.280 --> 0:10:14.640 is that first and foremost, you have to honor yourself first, 0:10:15.360 --> 0:10:20.960 honor yourself in every regard. And I really was like 0:10:22.480 --> 0:10:24.680 thinking about what that meant and what I started to 0:10:24.720 --> 0:10:28.080 really think and realize that growing up, I was always 0:10:28.240 --> 0:10:31.720 more on that people pleasing side, where I just wanted 0:10:31.720 --> 0:10:34.320 to make friends and I wanted everyone to like me, 0:10:34.440 --> 0:10:36.840 and I was afraid of what people thought of me 0:10:36.880 --> 0:10:39.080 in the fear of judgment. I was super skinny growing up. 0:10:39.080 --> 0:10:42.200 I had headgear and braces, and so I didn't always 0:10:42.200 --> 0:10:46.000 feel comfortable in my own skin. And so the last 0:10:46.000 --> 0:10:48.480 thing I wanted was to be, you know, be a 0:10:48.559 --> 0:10:55.160 target and to be put myself out there for criticism, 0:10:55.240 --> 0:10:57.200 because a lot of what happens when you get in 0:10:57.200 --> 0:10:59.480 front of the camera, front of audiences with TV and 0:10:59.480 --> 0:11:03.600 film is that people are naturally gonna have judgments and opinions. 0:11:04.080 --> 0:11:07.360 And the second piece of advice my acting teacher gave 0:11:07.440 --> 0:11:10.280 us was when you start acting and you start getting 0:11:10.320 --> 0:11:14.079 in front of these audiences, she said, inevitably, people are 0:11:14.080 --> 0:11:18.120 going to judge you. And she said that roughly thirty 0:11:18.120 --> 0:11:20.640 percent of the people that you perform in front of, 0:11:20.679 --> 0:11:23.600 that you get in front of to act or to 0:11:23.840 --> 0:11:27.360 whatever it is, that thirty percent are gonna like you. 0:11:27.600 --> 0:11:31.360 They're gonna resonate with you. You're gonna say something or 0:11:31.400 --> 0:11:33.640 you're gonna do something that makes them feel connected to you, 0:11:34.320 --> 0:11:36.559 and they're gonna like you. They're going to root for you. 0:11:37.080 --> 0:11:40.120 She said. The next thirty percent of the people out 0:11:40.120 --> 0:11:42.040 there that you perform in front of, and even that 0:11:42.120 --> 0:11:45.800 you meet in your daily life, they're not gonna like you. 0:11:46.000 --> 0:11:49.640 For whatever reason, they're not gonna like you. They're gonna 0:11:49.640 --> 0:11:51.760 think that you just look weird, or the sounding of 0:11:51.800 --> 0:11:56.320 your voice is horrible, or that you just look whatever 0:11:56.360 --> 0:11:58.760 a certain way. So thirty percent of people are not 0:11:58.760 --> 0:12:00.800 gonna like you. And then she said, the other forty 0:12:00.880 --> 0:12:04.160 percent of the people in the world, let's see you 0:12:04.440 --> 0:12:07.040 that see your performances, that you meet out in the world, 0:12:08.040 --> 0:12:12.200 they don't care. So she said, it's not your job, 0:12:12.480 --> 0:12:15.040 with acting or with anything in life to try to 0:12:15.080 --> 0:12:18.680 make everyone happy or to please everyone. She said, your 0:12:18.760 --> 0:12:22.520 job is to show up, be truthful, honor yourself, honor 0:12:22.559 --> 0:12:25.760 the character, and be of service to the writer, to 0:12:25.800 --> 0:12:29.200 the director, to the producers and everyone that has come 0:12:29.240 --> 0:12:32.880 together to tell this story. And so it kind of 0:12:33.080 --> 0:12:35.720 just took that pressure off of me for the first 0:12:35.760 --> 0:12:39.720 time where I felt like, Okay, I've got permission to 0:12:39.760 --> 0:12:42.320 not have to worry about what other people think. And 0:12:43.040 --> 0:12:45.160 knowing that people are going to have opinions and they're 0:12:45.160 --> 0:12:48.160 going to have probably negative opinions, it's not my job 0:12:48.200 --> 0:12:50.960 to try to fix it, change it, or be worried 0:12:50.960 --> 0:13:06.040 about what other people think. So now that I had 0:13:06.080 --> 0:13:10.080 this this release of like trying to shoulder the burden 0:13:10.240 --> 0:13:14.360 of pleasing everyone, I could get to work and focus 0:13:14.440 --> 0:13:17.160 on what was the work of the actor and the 0:13:17.200 --> 0:13:20.240 first aspect of being an actor and creating these characters, 0:13:20.320 --> 0:13:23.520 and what really helped me in my real life was, 0:13:23.720 --> 0:13:27.440 in addition to kind of piggybacking on honoring yourself, is 0:13:27.720 --> 0:13:29.880 actually a piece of advice that my grandmother gave me, 0:13:30.040 --> 0:13:32.959 and that was you got to know who you are 0:13:33.240 --> 0:13:36.200 and know where you're at. So when I was growing up, 0:13:36.200 --> 0:13:39.679 my grandmother always used to say, remember who you are, 0:13:40.120 --> 0:13:42.240 and I was like, of course, man, I know who 0:13:42.280 --> 0:13:45.000 I am. I'm like I'm calling you know. I come 0:13:45.040 --> 0:13:48.200 from the South side of Chicago and I go to 0:13:48.200 --> 0:13:50.680 the University of Iowa. I'm ma Hawkeye or whatever it is. 0:13:50.760 --> 0:13:54.920 So we tend to identify ourselves with our external experiences 0:13:55.040 --> 0:14:00.000 or circumstances. And so when she said remember who you are, 0:14:00.000 --> 0:14:03.440 you are if you look at that word, remember, it's remember. 0:14:03.920 --> 0:14:06.880 So a lot of the times when we are seeking 0:14:06.920 --> 0:14:10.480 outside validation for who we are, we can get lost 0:14:10.720 --> 0:14:15.720 in the seeking approval or trying to fit in. And 0:14:15.840 --> 0:14:20.480 when my acting teacher talked about knowing who your character 0:14:20.600 --> 0:14:25.560 is at twenty six, twenty seven years old, I finally 0:14:25.720 --> 0:14:31.160 truly understood what my grandmother meant in terms of remembering 0:14:31.240 --> 0:14:34.360 and reconnecting to who you really are. And most of 0:14:34.360 --> 0:14:36.640 the time we haven't really thought about who we really are. 0:14:37.080 --> 0:14:39.360 So I'm going to give you a little a little 0:14:39.400 --> 0:14:43.040 exercise here for you to really truly know who you 0:14:43.120 --> 0:14:46.720 really are. And for a while, you know, I think 0:14:46.760 --> 0:14:48.760 we go through life trying to figure out who we 0:14:48.800 --> 0:14:52.080 are and where we fit in. And what I realized 0:14:52.120 --> 0:14:54.720 with acting classes is that in order to play the 0:14:54.800 --> 0:14:58.200 characters that we play, we have to decide who this 0:14:58.400 --> 0:15:01.440 character is and we have to to make choices. You'll 0:15:01.480 --> 0:15:04.160 hear that a lot with acting teachers. They'll say, you 0:15:04.240 --> 0:15:06.920 got to make strong choices. Casting directors say, we like 0:15:06.960 --> 0:15:11.040 actors that make these really strong, bold choices that make 0:15:11.080 --> 0:15:13.640 you stand out from every other actor that walks through 0:15:13.680 --> 0:15:16.440 the door. Because with acting, it's roughly you know, for 0:15:16.480 --> 0:15:19.640 every role, there's about four hundred actors that are vuying 0:15:19.680 --> 0:15:22.120 for that same role. So you can imagine if a 0:15:22.160 --> 0:15:25.760 casting director is sitting there an actor after actor after actor, 0:15:25.640 --> 0:15:29.800 or coming in or nowadays it's all on our iPhones 0:15:29.880 --> 0:15:34.560 or whatever. Within that first few seconds of someone seeing 0:15:34.600 --> 0:15:38.560 you or meeting you, it's important that you're able to 0:15:38.560 --> 0:15:44.480 connect with them authentically. And when a casting director is 0:15:44.560 --> 0:15:48.280 seeing so many people, creating and choosing these strong choices 0:15:48.280 --> 0:15:50.680 will help you stand out. But if you're trying to 0:15:50.720 --> 0:15:52.840 fit in and be like everyone else, you're just going 0:15:52.920 --> 0:15:56.480 to blend in and be forgettable. So by making these 0:15:56.480 --> 0:16:00.880 bold choices as an actor, choosing these care I realized, 0:16:00.960 --> 0:16:04.080 we decide who these characters are. We build these characters 0:16:04.080 --> 0:16:06.440 so that when we show up on set, we can 0:16:06.880 --> 0:16:11.240 truthfully play these characters in these imaginary circumstances. And so 0:16:11.640 --> 0:16:16.160 it's an active choosing who you are with acting. And 0:16:16.240 --> 0:16:18.200 I started to realize that as I was going into 0:16:18.280 --> 0:16:22.080 these auditions and choosing these characters and the characteristics of 0:16:22.120 --> 0:16:24.320 who these characters were, whether it was a vampire or 0:16:24.320 --> 0:16:28.680 a fighter pilot or a doctor, I started to realize 0:16:28.680 --> 0:16:33.320 that I was doing more work on analyzing and knowing 0:16:33.480 --> 0:16:36.360 these characters than I even knew myself. And so I 0:16:36.400 --> 0:16:39.240 started to apply this same strategy to my own life. 0:16:39.240 --> 0:16:43.040 So what you can do, start to ask yourself in 0:16:43.080 --> 0:16:45.440 this circumstance, no matter where you're at, And this is 0:16:45.440 --> 0:16:48.640 where I'm going to get into my friends here who 0:16:48.680 --> 0:16:51.760 are dealing with cancer or every other any other health 0:16:51.800 --> 0:16:55.160 ailment out there. No matter what you were dealing with, 0:16:56.200 --> 0:16:59.960 you get to decide who you choose to be. Is 0:17:00.120 --> 0:17:03.600 this experience now, as someone who's been diagnosed with cancer 0:17:03.880 --> 0:17:10.800 three times, this has come in incredibly handy is the 0:17:10.840 --> 0:17:14.439 right word. But it's been incredibly empowering for me to 0:17:14.680 --> 0:17:17.920 use this because in this experience, and I wouldn't wish 0:17:17.960 --> 0:17:22.480 cancer on anyone, but what it has made me do 0:17:22.720 --> 0:17:26.720 or afforded me the experience is to choose who I 0:17:26.840 --> 0:17:29.480 choose to be in life. So I'm not waiting for 0:17:29.560 --> 0:17:31.240 life to tell me who I am, because most of 0:17:31.280 --> 0:17:32.800 the time, as we grow up, you know, we get 0:17:32.800 --> 0:17:35.760 told who we are. Again, we get to decide who 0:17:35.760 --> 0:17:38.000 we are. And when we start actively choosing who we 0:17:38.040 --> 0:17:43.440 are in life, that gives us more of a definitive 0:17:43.640 --> 0:17:45.359 idea of who we are and how we want to 0:17:45.359 --> 0:17:48.600 show up. And a quick and easy way to decide 0:17:48.600 --> 0:17:52.560 who you are is pick three characteristics, and in enacting 0:17:52.600 --> 0:17:55.399 class we choose who is the character's core value. So 0:17:55.520 --> 0:17:59.399 whether your character's value is truth or justice, or power 0:17:59.800 --> 0:18:05.040 or love or revenge. By choosing these three core values, 0:18:05.680 --> 0:18:09.240 you get to decide to be lived by the energy 0:18:09.280 --> 0:18:13.320 and the essence and whatever else you can channel by 0:18:13.359 --> 0:18:16.520 these three qualities. And so what this does is it 0:18:16.520 --> 0:18:24.119 gives you instant access and connection to the answers that 0:18:24.160 --> 0:18:26.280 you need in order to navigate whatever it is that 0:18:26.280 --> 0:18:29.119 you're dealing with. So the three core values that I 0:18:29.320 --> 0:18:36.680 choose to be lived by are inspiration, self expression and boldness, 0:18:37.000 --> 0:18:39.720 And the reason why I choose this is because I've 0:18:39.760 --> 0:18:43.440 always loved to be inspired. I always loved watching inspirational 0:18:43.560 --> 0:18:45.440 videos and movies, and I think that's why I love 0:18:46.000 --> 0:18:48.120 acting so much, Because I love going to movie theater 0:18:48.240 --> 0:18:52.280 or being at home and seeing inspirational stories about incredible 0:18:52.480 --> 0:18:56.159 people who have overcome the odds. I love to be 0:18:56.280 --> 0:19:00.280 in that space of just feeling like empowerment and facing 0:19:01.160 --> 0:19:04.840 you know, and facing the odds and moving forward anyway. 0:19:04.920 --> 0:19:09.399 So I choose to be lived by inspiration. The second 0:19:09.400 --> 0:19:13.280 one is self expression because growing up I wasn't always 0:19:13.320 --> 0:19:16.000 self expressed. I was shy, I was nervous about what 0:19:16.040 --> 0:19:21.080 people would think. And by choosing to be self expression, 0:19:21.840 --> 0:19:25.040 you get to show up and ask the question, not 0:19:25.160 --> 0:19:27.879 what would Colin do or what would Lisa do? Or 0:19:27.920 --> 0:19:30.639 what would Mike do? You get to ask what would 0:19:30.800 --> 0:19:35.800 self expression do? In this moment? Self expression would tell 0:19:35.840 --> 0:19:39.360 the truth. Self expression would show up and be freely 0:19:39.680 --> 0:19:43.720 open about their experiences, about their challenges, about whatever it 0:19:43.800 --> 0:19:47.040 is that they're dealing with. And then the third one, boldness. 0:19:47.080 --> 0:19:51.240 I choose to be lived by boldness, and that way 0:19:51.359 --> 0:19:54.320 you get to decide. By deciding this, you get to 0:19:54.320 --> 0:19:58.200 be lived by would what are the characteristics of boldness? 0:19:58.440 --> 0:20:00.960 So when I was going through my cancer journy and 0:20:01.040 --> 0:20:04.360 having to go to my radiation treatments and my surgeries 0:20:04.400 --> 0:20:08.359 and my chest X rays and cat scans, you get 0:20:08.440 --> 0:20:11.840 to ask and decide and be lived by what would 0:20:11.880 --> 0:20:15.119 boldness do right now? So again not what Colin would do, 0:20:15.160 --> 0:20:17.760 because Colin would want to run for the hills and 0:20:17.800 --> 0:20:20.000 be like, no way, I don't want to get poked, prodded, 0:20:20.040 --> 0:20:23.560 lit up or cut open any more times. But when 0:20:23.600 --> 0:20:26.199 you ask the question what would boldness do? Or you 0:20:26.240 --> 0:20:28.400 can ask if you want to be if maybe you're 0:20:28.480 --> 0:20:31.920 lacking love in your relationship, you could choose love as 0:20:31.960 --> 0:20:34.160 one of your three core values, and then that way 0:20:34.200 --> 0:20:37.880 you can be lived by love. And so you could ask, well, 0:20:37.880 --> 0:20:40.080 what would love do? So instead of showing up in 0:20:40.080 --> 0:20:43.160 the world and expecting or wishing that someone would love, 0:20:43.200 --> 0:20:46.400 you show up as love, so that when you show 0:20:46.480 --> 0:20:48.680 up that you are the giving and receiving of love. 0:20:48.880 --> 0:20:50.879 And when you are showing up in life being the 0:20:51.040 --> 0:20:55.200 present moment existence of something, you attract it. So I'm 0:20:55.200 --> 0:20:57.920 sure you've heard of the law of attraction and manifestation 0:20:58.080 --> 0:21:00.480 a lot of people have been talking about it. It's 0:21:00.520 --> 0:21:05.000 become a buzzword. But it's important to know that like 0:21:05.200 --> 0:21:08.120 energy attracts like energy, and so if you're constantly showing 0:21:08.200 --> 0:21:10.840 up in life with the negative thoughts and doubt and uncertainty, 0:21:11.720 --> 0:21:14.440 you're going to attract more of that. And it's amazing 0:21:14.440 --> 0:21:17.199 how when you start to, as my nana said, know 0:21:17.359 --> 0:21:20.200 who you are, remember who you are. When you start 0:21:20.240 --> 0:21:23.520 to go inward and choose these three core values, it's 0:21:23.560 --> 0:21:28.800 amazing how empowerment or love or self expression will start 0:21:28.880 --> 0:21:32.200 to show up in your life because you have actively 0:21:32.359 --> 0:21:36.280 chosen it. So that really helped me start to embark 0:21:36.480 --> 0:21:38.159 along my path. And as I was going through my 0:21:38.200 --> 0:21:42.000 acting journey, I was going on these auditions and finally, 0:21:42.040 --> 0:21:45.399 after like seven eight years of auditioning, I booked a 0:21:45.440 --> 0:21:50.240 role on All My Children, playing the the transplanted, unboarded 0:21:50.320 --> 0:21:55.480 fetus of Ericacane otherwise known as Susan Lucci, and so 0:21:55.560 --> 0:21:58.040 being able to play Susan Lucci's son and All My Children, 0:21:58.720 --> 0:22:02.840 it was an amazing experience. And soap operas are incredibly 0:22:03.080 --> 0:22:07.440 demanding for a regular TV show that airs on nighttime TV, 0:22:07.920 --> 0:22:10.840 that hour long TV show is essentially actually only forty 0:22:10.880 --> 0:22:14.199 minutes because it's about twenty minutes of commercials, and a 0:22:14.400 --> 0:22:17.399 normal hour long primetime television show that airs once a 0:22:17.440 --> 0:22:21.720 week usually takes about five to seven twelve hour days 0:22:21.760 --> 0:22:26.320 to film. For a movie, you're and you usually for 0:22:26.359 --> 0:22:28.560 a primetime TV show, you're shooting about maybe ten to 0:22:28.600 --> 0:22:32.480 fifteen pages of dialogue every day, and then for a 0:22:32.520 --> 0:22:36.520 movie you're maybe shooting three to eight pages a day. 0:22:36.640 --> 0:22:40.119 With soap opera, you're shooting eighty pages a day. So 0:22:40.240 --> 0:22:42.480 it is you show up, you got to know your lines, 0:22:42.520 --> 0:22:45.320 you got to deliver, and so it's this constant, just 0:22:45.400 --> 0:22:50.159 like flood of dialogue and information, and so very quickly 0:22:50.200 --> 0:22:52.720 you start to realize that you've got to become good 0:22:52.720 --> 0:22:57.320 at memorizing. And by showing up and having this experience 0:22:57.320 --> 0:23:00.520 of doing this for three years, it empower me to 0:23:00.560 --> 0:23:03.520 realize that if you know you can make soap opera believable, 0:23:03.600 --> 0:23:06.600 then there may be a chance of actually doing some 0:23:06.680 --> 0:23:10.240