1
00:00:02,480 --> 00:00:08,680
Speaker 1: This is Let's be clear, who's Shannon Dhorney. All right, Hello,

2
00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:12,320
Speaker 1: let's be clear listeners. My name is Colin Egglesfield, and

3
00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:15,800
Speaker 1: I am so grateful and honored to be here today

4
00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:18,880
Speaker 1: to be able to share with you my personal journey

5
00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:23,439
Speaker 1: and my experiences of having some health challenges over the

6
00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:26,480
Speaker 1: past few years. Some of you may know me as

7
00:00:26,520 --> 00:00:28,840
Speaker 1: an actor, some of you may know me as someone

8
00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:33,640
Speaker 1: who is active in the health and wellness community, and

9
00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:36,480
Speaker 1: I just wanted to come on here today to share

10
00:00:36,479 --> 00:00:39,919
Speaker 1: with you some of my experiences because what I've realized

11
00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:44,519
Speaker 1: that going through a cancer journey has really taught me

12
00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:47,760
Speaker 1: a lot about myself, a lot about life, and it's

13
00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:54,440
Speaker 1: made me realize that life is something that can't necessarily

14
00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:57,960
Speaker 1: be done alone if you really want to have a

15
00:00:58,040 --> 00:01:02,160
Speaker 1: purposeful and fulfilling life. So I'm just going to tell

16
00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:05,959
Speaker 1: you a little bit about my upbringing, my background, tell

17
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:09,680
Speaker 1: you a little bit about my experiences with acting, and

18
00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:12,640
Speaker 1: tell you a little bit about what I'm doing now

19
00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:16,520
Speaker 1: in terms of having now survived cancer for the third time, yes,

20
00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:21,959
Speaker 1: three times, And also just wanted to give a little

21
00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:25,039
Speaker 1: bit of a shout out to everyone out there who's

22
00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:29,759
Speaker 1: dealing with any sort of health journey, answer journey, whatever

23
00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:32,160
Speaker 1: it is, I'm going to be sharing with you tonight

24
00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:34,720
Speaker 1: some of the things that have empowered me and enabled

25
00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:39,039
Speaker 1: me to stay empowered through this scary experience. Because when

26
00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:42,920
Speaker 1: someone tells you that you've been diagnosed with cancer, for

27
00:01:42,959 --> 00:01:46,360
Speaker 1: those of you who have heard that phrase, it can

28
00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:51,200
Speaker 1: be very jarring and it can put you into a

29
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:54,320
Speaker 1: headspace that is not necessarily the best place to be in.

30
00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:57,440
Speaker 1: So the things that have enabled me to stay empowered

31
00:01:57,440 --> 00:02:00,240
Speaker 1: and stay positive through this experience is something that I

32
00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:02,560
Speaker 1: want to share with you all. But first I just

33
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:05,640
Speaker 1: want to give a huge shout out to Shannon Doherty.

34
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:09,200
Speaker 1: So Shannon is someone who I grew up watching on

35
00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:12,280
Speaker 1: nine oh two and O and she was someone that

36
00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:16,160
Speaker 1: I always looked up to. When I watched nine O

37
00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:19,040
Speaker 1: two and oh, I was always like, man, those those

38
00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:21,240
Speaker 1: kids look like they're so having so much fun. And

39
00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:23,200
Speaker 1: I think it was a I want to say, I

40
00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:25,400
Speaker 1: was a freshman in high school when that show came on,

41
00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:29,080
Speaker 1: and I always would love to tune in because I

42
00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:31,720
Speaker 1: was like, man, those kids are in Beverly Hills. They

43
00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:35,520
Speaker 1: seem to have you know everything, you know, just the

44
00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:37,960
Speaker 1: best life ever And just to watch the show and

45
00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:41,320
Speaker 1: see them go through their trials and tribulations of relationships

46
00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:45,160
Speaker 1: and heartbreaks and breakups, and you know, it's it's it's

47
00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:47,960
Speaker 1: amazing how close we can feel to characters that we

48
00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:51,080
Speaker 1: watch on TV. And though I never met Shannon, I

49
00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:56,240
Speaker 1: felt like she was someone who I knew just from

50
00:02:56,240 --> 00:02:59,600
Speaker 1: watching her on TV and someone that inspired me to

51
00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:02,720
Speaker 1: know that no matter what's going on in life, that

52
00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:06,440
Speaker 1: you can overcome challenges. From what I knew, Shannon was

53
00:03:06,639 --> 00:03:11,640
Speaker 1: resilient and determined and so passionate about what she did,

54
00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:14,960
Speaker 1: and I think we can all learn something from her

55
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,480
Speaker 1: experience of how she dealt with her cancer journey. But

56
00:03:18,639 --> 00:03:20,679
Speaker 1: just I'll go back a little bit to tell you

57
00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:22,640
Speaker 1: a little bit about my journey and where I'm from.

58
00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:27,880
Speaker 1: And I came from a small little town outside of Detroit,

59
00:03:27,919 --> 00:03:31,280
Speaker 1: Michigan called Farmington. Was born there and grew up and

60
00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:34,440
Speaker 1: my dad was a doctor, actually he was an obstratrician gynecologist,

61
00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:37,840
Speaker 1: and he had gone to school in Chicago, and so

62
00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:40,520
Speaker 1: once he met my mom there, they got married and

63
00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:43,560
Speaker 1: they moved back to Michigan where my dad was from,

64
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:46,360
Speaker 1: and he had my sister, and then myself and my brother,

65
00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:48,440
Speaker 1: and then my dad got offered a position to move

66
00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:50,600
Speaker 1: back to Chicago to teach at the hospital. So we

67
00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:52,800
Speaker 1: moved back to Chicago when I was about ten years old,

68
00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:56,880
Speaker 1: and watching my dad be a doctor and show up

69
00:03:56,920 --> 00:04:01,000
Speaker 1: to be there for so many people in times of need,

70
00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:04,000
Speaker 1: I really loved the idea of potentially doing that. So

71
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:06,080
Speaker 1: when it came time for me to go to college,

72
00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:11,640
Speaker 1: I actually started out engineering first because I for some reason,

73
00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:15,840
Speaker 1: was interested in architecture and building things. I was always

74
00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:20,040
Speaker 1: into legos. But once I got to three dimensional vector calculus,

75
00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:21,680
Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, this isn't for me,

76
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,960
Speaker 1: and so I decided to switch majors to biology and

77
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:29,880
Speaker 1: decided to pursue my pre med endeavors. And when I

78
00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:34,120
Speaker 1: got to my senior year, I was going down this

79
00:04:34,279 --> 00:04:38,000
Speaker 1: road and if anyone of you have seen something borrowed.

80
00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:42,000
Speaker 1: My character Decks actually asks his father this question in

81
00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:44,400
Speaker 1: the movie, where he says, Dad, have you ever been

82
00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:47,360
Speaker 1: in a position where you've been heading down a road

83
00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:51,040
Speaker 1: and you don't think that it's necessarily maybe the path

84
00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:55,120
Speaker 1: that you intuitively think that you're supposed to be on.

85
00:04:55,600 --> 00:05:00,360
Speaker 1: And my character's father in the movie shuts me down

86
00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:03,960
Speaker 1: and he says, Dex, that's not who we are. You're

87
00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:07,800
Speaker 1: going in this direction. And I think I could, I

88
00:05:07,839 --> 00:05:09,680
Speaker 1: could relate to that in a lot of ways, because

89
00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:12,720
Speaker 1: I think sometimes in life we find ourselves in a

90
00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:15,279
Speaker 1: position in life, and you may find yourself in that

91
00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:19,359
Speaker 1: experience or have in the past where in a sense,

92
00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:22,359
Speaker 1: you've been miscast in the story of your own life.

93
00:05:22,839 --> 00:05:25,520
Speaker 1: And so what I mean by that is because of

94
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:28,360
Speaker 1: where you were born, how you grew up, where you

95
00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:30,920
Speaker 1: you know, who your parents were, what religion you were raised,

96
00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:35,240
Speaker 1: we can find ourselves sort of pushed this into the

97
00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:42,160
Speaker 1: traditions or the path that are considered normal for wherever

98
00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:45,080
Speaker 1: it is that you're from. And so you know, getting

99
00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:48,520
Speaker 1: the job and having a family and raising kids and

100
00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:53,400
Speaker 1: the white picket fence. Although that's something I absolutely desire

101
00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:57,840
Speaker 1: at the time when I was, you know, twenty years old,

102
00:05:57,880 --> 00:06:00,480
Speaker 1: it's hard to really know what you really want in life,

103
00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:03,160
Speaker 1: and when you feel like you're being pushed down a

104
00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:06,200
Speaker 1: path and then you end up into this role and

105
00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:08,200
Speaker 1: you wake up one day and you're like, how the

106
00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:10,840
Speaker 1: hell did I get here? I found myself where I

107
00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:14,120
Speaker 1: could see that path unfolding, where I wasn't sure if

108
00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:18,080
Speaker 1: that's necessarily where I really wanted to go. And as

109
00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:19,960
Speaker 1: it turned out, I heard on the radio about this

110
00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:23,200
Speaker 1: model talent search. So I went to this model talent

111
00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:25,359
Speaker 1: search at the Davenport Holiday and I was going to

112
00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:28,280
Speaker 1: the University of Iowa at the time, and I went

113
00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:31,479
Speaker 1: to this thing and I met these model agent ladies,

114
00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:34,920
Speaker 1: and next thing you know, I got connected with an

115
00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:38,800
Speaker 1: agent in Chicago. And so the reason why I bring

116
00:06:38,839 --> 00:06:41,200
Speaker 1: this up is because in life, we get presented these

117
00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:44,719
Speaker 1: opportunities and these doors may open up to us, but

118
00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:47,680
Speaker 1: sometimes we don't always walk through those doors for whatever reason.

119
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:52,480
Speaker 1: And I think it's important to at least walk through

120
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:55,280
Speaker 1: that door and see what it might look like, because

121
00:06:55,279 --> 00:06:57,640
Speaker 1: it's hard to make a decision on where you want

122
00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:59,760
Speaker 1: to go in life and what you want your life

123
00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:03,040
Speaker 1: to be about if you haven't necessarily experienced it yet.

124
00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:06,440
Speaker 1: And when a door opens up, I think it's important

125
00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:08,560
Speaker 1: to listen to your gut, to listen to your instincts,

126
00:07:09,279 --> 00:07:11,840
Speaker 1: say some prayers to God, to the universe, whatever it

127
00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:15,880
Speaker 1: is that, whatever it is that you pray to. And

128
00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:18,360
Speaker 1: as I started going through these doors, as they started

129
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:23,120
Speaker 1: opening up, I found myself facing a decision do I

130
00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:24,640
Speaker 1: want to go to medical school or do I want

131
00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:27,400
Speaker 1: to go to Europe to pursue this modeling career. And

132
00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:33,120
Speaker 1: I decided that against probably what I felt everyone expected

133
00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:35,040
Speaker 1: me to do, I was like, you know what, I'm

134
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:37,680
Speaker 1: going to do something that may I may not be

135
00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:39,640
Speaker 1: able to do ever again. So I decided to go

136
00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:42,520
Speaker 1: to Europe. And next thing you know, I was finding

137
00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:47,560
Speaker 1: myself on the runways doing Versace runway shows and met

138
00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:50,680
Speaker 1: Georgia Ormani and some of these amazing designers, and for

139
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:53,600
Speaker 1: the first time, I really discovered what it meant to

140
00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:57,040
Speaker 1: be around really creative people who were doing something that

141
00:07:57,080 --> 00:08:00,800
Speaker 1: they truly loved and were passionate about. And after that,

142
00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:02,960
Speaker 1: I found myself in New York City and started going

143
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:06,600
Speaker 1: on some commercial auditions, and acting was something that I

144
00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:09,880
Speaker 1: never thought was going to be on my radar because

145
00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:13,560
Speaker 1: I growing up was introverted. I was shy, and the

146
00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:15,320
Speaker 1: last thing I wanted to do in class was to

147
00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:18,560
Speaker 1: get up and give a speech or anything. I literally

148
00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:22,240
Speaker 1: would have these hyperventilating panic attacks, and any time I

149
00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:24,240
Speaker 1: would have to get up in front of school to

150
00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:28,360
Speaker 1: talk about anything or give the answer. And so the

151
00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:31,000
Speaker 1: last thing I ever thought was in the cards for

152
00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:32,880
Speaker 1: me was getting up in front of people to do

153
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:36,240
Speaker 1: an acting career. But again one of these doors opened

154
00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:40,120
Speaker 1: up where my acting or my acting modeling agents said,

155
00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:42,280
Speaker 1: why don't you take an acting class to see if

156
00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:44,800
Speaker 1: you like it, see if this may be something that

157
00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:47,960
Speaker 1: you want to give a shot to. And so it

158
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:51,240
Speaker 1: would have been very easy to say no. And again,

159
00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:53,760
Speaker 1: if we don't know what something is, it's very easy

160
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:56,240
Speaker 1: to judge it to shut it down before we even

161
00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:58,640
Speaker 1: really know what it is. So I went to this

162
00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:03,120
Speaker 1: acting class, and I would say it was the first

163
00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:07,120
Speaker 1: time in my life where I genuinely felt that this

164
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,760
Speaker 1: was a place where I could learn how to give

165
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:13,320
Speaker 1: over my fear of being in front of people, being

166
00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:18,920
Speaker 1: authentic and being vulnerable. I mean, as a guy, we

167
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:22,319
Speaker 1: don't necessarily like to be vulnerable, We don't necessarily necessarily

168
00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:26,079
Speaker 1: like to admit when we are struggling, and I think

169
00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:30,160
Speaker 1: this can keep us stuck in alone. And what acting

170
00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:32,959
Speaker 1: class I started to realize provided to me was this

171
00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:36,160
Speaker 1: space where I could show up and learn how to

172
00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:39,360
Speaker 1: unlearn a lot of the things that I was conditioned

173
00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:44,440
Speaker 1: to how to act growing up. And I started to

174
00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:46,800
Speaker 1: realize that the most important thing in life is to

175
00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:50,000
Speaker 1: be authentic and to be truthful and to be honest

176
00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:52,760
Speaker 1: with yourself. And one of the greatest pieces of advice

177
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:55,640
Speaker 1: that my acting teacher gave me was she said, it's

178
00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:59,400
Speaker 1: so important for you in order for you to be

179
00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:02,240
Speaker 1: able to play these characters and walk into these auditions

180
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:06,360
Speaker 1: and for people to be able to to connect with

181
00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:09,400
Speaker 1: you and want to go on these journeys with you,

182
00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:14,640
Speaker 1: is that first and foremost, you have to honor yourself first,

183
00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:20,960
Speaker 1: honor yourself in every regard. And I really was like

184
00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:24,680
Speaker 1: thinking about what that meant and what I started to

185
00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:28,080
Speaker 1: really think and realize that growing up, I was always

186
00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:31,720
Speaker 1: more on that people pleasing side, where I just wanted

187
00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:34,320
Speaker 1: to make friends and I wanted everyone to like me,

188
00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:36,840
Speaker 1: and I was afraid of what people thought of me

189
00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:39,080
Speaker 1: in the fear of judgment. I was super skinny growing up.

190
00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:42,200
Speaker 1: I had headgear and braces, and so I didn't always

191
00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:46,000
Speaker 1: feel comfortable in my own skin. And so the last

192
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,480
Speaker 1: thing I wanted was to be, you know, be a

193
00:10:48,559 --> 00:10:55,160
Speaker 1: target and to be put myself out there for criticism,

194
00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:57,200
Speaker 1: because a lot of what happens when you get in

195
00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:59,480
Speaker 1: front of the camera, front of audiences with TV and

196
00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:03,600
Speaker 1: film is that people are naturally gonna have judgments and opinions.

197
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:07,360
Speaker 1: And the second piece of advice my acting teacher gave

198
00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:10,280
Speaker 1: us was when you start acting and you start getting

199
00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:14,079
Speaker 1: in front of these audiences, she said, inevitably, people are

200
00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:18,120
Speaker 1: going to judge you. And she said that roughly thirty

201
00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:20,640
Speaker 1: percent of the people that you perform in front of,

202
00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:23,600
Speaker 1: that you get in front of to act or to

203
00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:27,360
Speaker 1: whatever it is, that thirty percent are gonna like you.

204
00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:31,360
Speaker 1: They're gonna resonate with you. You're gonna say something or

205
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:33,640
Speaker 1: you're gonna do something that makes them feel connected to you,

206
00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:36,559
Speaker 1: and they're gonna like you. They're going to root for you.

207
00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:40,120
Speaker 1: She said. The next thirty percent of the people out

208
00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:42,040
Speaker 1: there that you perform in front of, and even that

209
00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:45,800
Speaker 1: you meet in your daily life, they're not gonna like you.

210
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:49,640
Speaker 1: For whatever reason, they're not gonna like you. They're gonna

211
00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:51,760
Speaker 1: think that you just look weird, or the sounding of

212
00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:56,320
Speaker 1: your voice is horrible, or that you just look whatever

213
00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:58,760
Speaker 1: a certain way. So thirty percent of people are not

214
00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,800
Speaker 1: gonna like you. And then she said, the other forty

215
00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:04,160
Speaker 1: percent of the people in the world, let's see you

216
00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:07,040
Speaker 1: that see your performances, that you meet out in the world,

217
00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:12,200
Speaker 1: they don't care. So she said, it's not your job,

218
00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:15,040
Speaker 1: with acting or with anything in life to try to

219
00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:18,680
Speaker 1: make everyone happy or to please everyone. She said, your

220
00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:22,520
Speaker 1: job is to show up, be truthful, honor yourself, honor

221
00:12:22,559 --> 00:12:25,760
Speaker 1: the character, and be of service to the writer, to

222
00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:29,200
Speaker 1: the director, to the producers and everyone that has come

223
00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:32,880
Speaker 1: together to tell this story. And so it kind of

224
00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:35,720
Speaker 1: just took that pressure off of me for the first

225
00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:39,720
Speaker 1: time where I felt like, Okay, I've got permission to

226
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:42,320
Speaker 1: not have to worry about what other people think. And

227
00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:45,160
Speaker 1: knowing that people are going to have opinions and they're

228
00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:48,160
Speaker 1: going to have probably negative opinions, it's not my job

229
00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,960
Speaker 1: to try to fix it, change it, or be worried

230
00:12:50,960 --> 00:13:06,040
Speaker 1: about what other people think. So now that I had

231
00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:10,080
Speaker 1: this this release of like trying to shoulder the burden

232
00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:14,360
Speaker 1: of pleasing everyone, I could get to work and focus

233
00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:17,160
Speaker 1: on what was the work of the actor and the

234
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:20,240
Speaker 1: first aspect of being an actor and creating these characters,

235
00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:23,520
Speaker 1: and what really helped me in my real life was,

236
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:27,440
Speaker 1: in addition to kind of piggybacking on honoring yourself, is

237
00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:29,880
Speaker 1: actually a piece of advice that my grandmother gave me,

238
00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:32,959
Speaker 1: and that was you got to know who you are

239
00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:36,200
Speaker 1: and know where you're at. So when I was growing up,

240
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:39,679
Speaker 1: my grandmother always used to say, remember who you are,

241
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:42,240
Speaker 1: and I was like, of course, man, I know who

242
00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:45,000
Speaker 1: I am. I'm like I'm calling you know. I come

243
00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:48,200
Speaker 1: from the South side of Chicago and I go to

244
00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:50,680
Speaker 1: the University of Iowa. I'm ma Hawkeye or whatever it is.

245
00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:54,920
Speaker 1: So we tend to identify ourselves with our external experiences

246
00:13:55,040 --> 00:14:00,000
Speaker 1: or circumstances. And so when she said remember who you are,

247
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:03,440
Speaker 1: you are if you look at that word, remember, it's remember.

248
00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:06,880
Speaker 1: So a lot of the times when we are seeking

249
00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:10,480
Speaker 1: outside validation for who we are, we can get lost

250
00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:15,720
Speaker 1: in the seeking approval or trying to fit in. And

251
00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:20,480
Speaker 1: when my acting teacher talked about knowing who your character

252
00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:25,560
Speaker 1: is at twenty six, twenty seven years old, I finally

253
00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:31,160
Speaker 1: truly understood what my grandmother meant in terms of remembering

254
00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:34,360
Speaker 1: and reconnecting to who you really are. And most of

255
00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:36,640
Speaker 1: the time we haven't really thought about who we really are.

256
00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:39,360
Speaker 1: So I'm going to give you a little a little

257
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:43,040
Speaker 1: exercise here for you to really truly know who you

258
00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:46,720
Speaker 1: really are. And for a while, you know, I think

259
00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:48,760
Speaker 1: we go through life trying to figure out who we

260
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:52,080
Speaker 1: are and where we fit in. And what I realized

261
00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:54,720
Speaker 1: with acting classes is that in order to play the

262
00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:58,200
Speaker 1: characters that we play, we have to decide who this

263
00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:01,440
Speaker 1: character is and we have to to make choices. You'll

264
00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:04,160
Speaker 1: hear that a lot with acting teachers. They'll say, you

265
00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:06,920
Speaker 1: got to make strong choices. Casting directors say, we like

266
00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:11,040
Speaker 1: actors that make these really strong, bold choices that make

267
00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:13,640
Speaker 1: you stand out from every other actor that walks through

268
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:16,440
Speaker 1: the door. Because with acting, it's roughly you know, for

269
00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:19,640
Speaker 1: every role, there's about four hundred actors that are vuying

270
00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:22,120
Speaker 1: for that same role. So you can imagine if a

271
00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:25,760
Speaker 1: casting director is sitting there an actor after actor after actor,

272
00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:29,800
Speaker 1: or coming in or nowadays it's all on our iPhones

273
00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:34,560
Speaker 1: or whatever. Within that first few seconds of someone seeing

274
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:38,560
Speaker 1: you or meeting you, it's important that you're able to

275
00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:44,480
Speaker 1: connect with them authentically. And when a casting director is

276
00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:48,280
Speaker 1: seeing so many people, creating and choosing these strong choices

277
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:50,680
Speaker 1: will help you stand out. But if you're trying to

278
00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:52,840
Speaker 1: fit in and be like everyone else, you're just going

279
00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:56,480
Speaker 1: to blend in and be forgettable. So by making these

280
00:15:56,480 --> 00:16:00,880
Speaker 1: bold choices as an actor, choosing these care I realized,

281
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:04,080
Speaker 1: we decide who these characters are. We build these characters

282
00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:06,440
Speaker 1: so that when we show up on set, we can

283
00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:11,240
Speaker 1: truthfully play these characters in these imaginary circumstances. And so

284
00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:16,160
Speaker 1: it's an active choosing who you are with acting. And

285
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:18,200
Speaker 1: I started to realize that as I was going into

286
00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:22,080
Speaker 1: these auditions and choosing these characters and the characteristics of

287
00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:24,320
Speaker 1: who these characters were, whether it was a vampire or

288
00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:28,680
Speaker 1: a fighter pilot or a doctor, I started to realize

289
00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:33,320
Speaker 1: that I was doing more work on analyzing and knowing

290
00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:36,360
Speaker 1: these characters than I even knew myself. And so I

291
00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:39,240
Speaker 1: started to apply this same strategy to my own life.

292
00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:43,040
Speaker 1: So what you can do, start to ask yourself in

293
00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:45,440
Speaker 1: this circumstance, no matter where you're at, And this is

294
00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:48,640
Speaker 1: where I'm going to get into my friends here who

295
00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:51,760
Speaker 1: are dealing with cancer or every other any other health

296
00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:55,160
Speaker 1: ailment out there. No matter what you were dealing with,

297
00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:59,960
Speaker 1: you get to decide who you choose to be. Is

298
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:03,600
Speaker 1: this experience now, as someone who's been diagnosed with cancer

299
00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:10,800
Speaker 1: three times, this has come in incredibly handy is the

300
00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:14,439
Speaker 1: right word. But it's been incredibly empowering for me to

301
00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:17,920
Speaker 1: use this because in this experience, and I wouldn't wish

302
00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:22,480
Speaker 1: cancer on anyone, but what it has made me do

303
00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:26,720
Speaker 1: or afforded me the experience is to choose who I

304
00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:29,480
Speaker 1: choose to be in life. So I'm not waiting for

305
00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:31,240
Speaker 1: life to tell me who I am, because most of

306
00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:32,800
Speaker 1: the time, as we grow up, you know, we get

307
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:35,760
Speaker 1: told who we are. Again, we get to decide who

308
00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:38,000
Speaker 1: we are. And when we start actively choosing who we

309
00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:43,440
Speaker 1: are in life, that gives us more of a definitive

310
00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:45,359
Speaker 1: idea of who we are and how we want to

311
00:17:45,359 --> 00:17:48,600
Speaker 1: show up. And a quick and easy way to decide

312
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:52,560
Speaker 1: who you are is pick three characteristics, and in enacting

313
00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:55,399
Speaker 1: class we choose who is the character's core value. So

314
00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:59,399
Speaker 1: whether your character's value is truth or justice, or power

315
00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:05,040
Speaker 1: or love or revenge. By choosing these three core values,

316
00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:09,240
Speaker 1: you get to decide to be lived by the energy

317
00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:13,320
Speaker 1: and the essence and whatever else you can channel by

318
00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:16,520
Speaker 1: these three qualities. And so what this does is it

319
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:24,119
Speaker 1: gives you instant access and connection to the answers that

320
00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:26,280
Speaker 1: you need in order to navigate whatever it is that

321
00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:29,119
Speaker 1: you're dealing with. So the three core values that I

322
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:36,680
Speaker 1: choose to be lived by are inspiration, self expression and boldness,

323
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:39,720
Speaker 1: And the reason why I choose this is because I've

324
00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:43,440
Speaker 1: always loved to be inspired. I always loved watching inspirational

325
00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:45,440
Speaker 1: videos and movies, and I think that's why I love

326
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,120
Speaker 1: acting so much, Because I love going to movie theater

327
00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:52,280
Speaker 1: or being at home and seeing inspirational stories about incredible

328
00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:56,159
Speaker 1: people who have overcome the odds. I love to be

329
00:18:56,280 --> 00:19:00,280
Speaker 1: in that space of just feeling like empowerment and facing

330
00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:04,840
Speaker 1: you know, and facing the odds and moving forward anyway.

331
00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:09,399
Speaker 1: So I choose to be lived by inspiration. The second

332
00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:13,280
Speaker 1: one is self expression because growing up I wasn't always

333
00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:16,000
Speaker 1: self expressed. I was shy, I was nervous about what

334
00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:21,080
Speaker 1: people would think. And by choosing to be self expression,

335
00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:25,040
Speaker 1: you get to show up and ask the question, not

336
00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:27,879
Speaker 1: what would Colin do or what would Lisa do? Or

337
00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:30,639
Speaker 1: what would Mike do? You get to ask what would

338
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:35,800
Speaker 1: self expression do? In this moment? Self expression would tell

339
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:39,360
Speaker 1: the truth. Self expression would show up and be freely

340
00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:43,720
Speaker 1: open about their experiences, about their challenges, about whatever it

341
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:47,040
Speaker 1: is that they're dealing with. And then the third one, boldness.

342
00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:51,240
Speaker 1: I choose to be lived by boldness, and that way

343
00:19:51,359 --> 00:19:54,320
Speaker 1: you get to decide. By deciding this, you get to

344
00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:58,200
Speaker 1: be lived by would what are the characteristics of boldness?

345
00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:00,960
Speaker 1: So when I was going through my cancer journy and

346
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:04,360
Speaker 1: having to go to my radiation treatments and my surgeries

347
00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:08,359
Speaker 1: and my chest X rays and cat scans, you get

348
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:11,840
Speaker 1: to ask and decide and be lived by what would

349
00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:15,119
Speaker 1: boldness do right now? So again not what Colin would do,

350
00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:17,760
Speaker 1: because Colin would want to run for the hills and

351
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:20,000
Speaker 1: be like, no way, I don't want to get poked, prodded,

352
00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:23,560
Speaker 1: lit up or cut open any more times. But when

353
00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:26,199
Speaker 1: you ask the question what would boldness do? Or you

354
00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:28,400
Speaker 1: can ask if you want to be if maybe you're

355
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:31,920
Speaker 1: lacking love in your relationship, you could choose love as

356
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:34,160
Speaker 1: one of your three core values, and then that way

357
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:37,880
Speaker 1: you can be lived by love. And so you could ask, well,

358
00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:40,080
Speaker 1: what would love do? So instead of showing up in

359
00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:43,160
Speaker 1: the world and expecting or wishing that someone would love,

360
00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:46,400
Speaker 1: you show up as love, so that when you show

361
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:48,680
Speaker 1: up that you are the giving and receiving of love.

362
00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:50,879
Speaker 1: And when you are showing up in life being the

363
00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:55,200
Speaker 1: present moment existence of something, you attract it. So I'm

364
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:57,920
Speaker 1: sure you've heard of the law of attraction and manifestation

365
00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:00,480
Speaker 1: a lot of people have been talking about it. It's

366
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:05,000
Speaker 1: become a buzzword. But it's important to know that like

367
00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:08,120
Speaker 1: energy attracts like energy, and so if you're constantly showing

368
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,840
Speaker 1: up in life with the negative thoughts and doubt and uncertainty,

369
00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:14,440
Speaker 1: you're going to attract more of that. And it's amazing

370
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:17,199
Speaker 1: how when you start to, as my nana said, know

371
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:20,200
Speaker 1: who you are, remember who you are. When you start

372
00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:23,520
Speaker 1: to go inward and choose these three core values, it's

373
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:28,800
Speaker 1: amazing how empowerment or love or self expression will start

374
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:32,200
Speaker 1: to show up in your life because you have actively

375
00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:36,280
Speaker 1: chosen it. So that really helped me start to embark

376
00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:38,159
Speaker 1: along my path. And as I was going through my

377
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:42,000
Speaker 1: acting journey, I was going on these auditions and finally,

378
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:45,399
Speaker 1: after like seven eight years of auditioning, I booked a

379
00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:50,240
Speaker 1: role on All My Children, playing the the transplanted, unboarded

380
00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:55,480
Speaker 1: fetus of Ericacane otherwise known as Susan Lucci, and so

381
00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:58,040
Speaker 1: being able to play Susan Lucci's son and All My Children,

382
00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:02,840
Speaker 1: it was an amazing experience. And soap operas are incredibly

383
00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:07,440
Speaker 1: demanding for a regular TV show that airs on nighttime TV,

384
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:10,840
Speaker 1: that hour long TV show is essentially actually only forty

385
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:14,199
Speaker 1: minutes because it's about twenty minutes of commercials, and a

386
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:17,399
Speaker 1: normal hour long primetime television show that airs once a

387
00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:21,720
Speaker 1: week usually takes about five to seven twelve hour days

388
00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:26,320
Speaker 1: to film. For a movie, you're and you usually for

389
00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:28,560
Speaker 1: a primetime TV show, you're shooting about maybe ten to

390
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:32,480
Speaker 1: fifteen pages of dialogue every day, and then for a

391
00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:36,520
Speaker 1: movie you're maybe shooting three to eight pages a day.

392
00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:40,119
Speaker 1: With soap opera, you're shooting eighty pages a day. So

393
00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:42,480
Speaker 1: it is you show up, you got to know your lines,

394
00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:45,320
Speaker 1: you got to deliver, and so it's this constant, just

395
00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:50,159
Speaker 1: like flood of dialogue and information, and so very quickly

396
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:52,720
Speaker 1: you start to realize that you've got to become good

397
00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:57,320
Speaker 1: at memorizing. And by showing up and having this experience

398
00:22:57,320 --> 00:23:00,520
Speaker 1: of doing this for three years, it empower me to

399
00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:03,520
Speaker 1: realize that if you know you can make soap opera believable,

400
00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:06,600
Speaker 1: then there may be a chance of actually doing some

401
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:10,240
Speaker 1: other things as well. So when my contract was almost

402
00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:12,760
Speaker 1: like well, i was six months into my three year

403
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:16,680
Speaker 1: contract with all my children, and when I got that role,

404
00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:19,359
Speaker 1: I was super excited because I'd been pursuing acting for

405
00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:24,679
Speaker 1: like seven or eight years, and what really emboldened me

406
00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:28,040
Speaker 1: to pursue acting in the first place was if I

407
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:30,720
Speaker 1: could just go up for a second go back. I

408
00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:33,119
Speaker 1: was living across the street from the World Trade Center

409
00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:36,879
Speaker 1: in two thousand and one, and I'd only been studying

410
00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:39,720
Speaker 1: acting for like two years, and I'd done one role.

411
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:44,560
Speaker 1: My first role was actually getting into bed with Jenny

412
00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:47,119
Speaker 1: Garth from nine oh two to zero, giving her a

413
00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:49,919
Speaker 1: glass of wine in this show called The Street, and

414
00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:52,679
Speaker 1: I had one line. And then my next role was

415
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:55,359
Speaker 1: a mail escort on Law and Order SVU. So not

416
00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:57,399
Speaker 1: the biggest resume to be thinking I could go out

417
00:23:57,440 --> 00:24:00,240
Speaker 1: to Hollywood and be the next Tom Cruise. That morning

418
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:02,200
Speaker 1: of nine to eleven, when I woke up and I

419
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:06,360
Speaker 1: saw out of my window the flames, and quickly soon

420
00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:09,320
Speaker 1: thereafter saw that people were hanging their heads out of

421
00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:13,480
Speaker 1: the windows of the World Trade Center. I quickly realized

422
00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:17,320
Speaker 1: that those people weren't just watching, that they were trapped,

423
00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:19,639
Speaker 1: and I turned on the TV and I started I

424
00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:23,040
Speaker 1: grabbed my video camera, I started videotaping, and I've got

425
00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:25,520
Speaker 1: footage of that second plane coming in and it was

426
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:29,080
Speaker 1: just horrific to see people actually then starting to jump

427
00:24:29,119 --> 00:24:31,679
Speaker 1: out of the top of the towers. And after that

428
00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:35,040
Speaker 1: second plane hit, I ran downstairs and standing outside of

429
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:38,359
Speaker 1: my apartment building just watching people stuck up at the

430
00:24:38,359 --> 00:24:41,520
Speaker 1: top of those towers. It was just heartbreaking and something

431
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:44,560
Speaker 1: you can't on sea. And when that first tower fell,

432
00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:46,400
Speaker 1: I was one of the people running down the street.

433
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:48,080
Speaker 1: And then the second tower fell, and it was a

434
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:49,840
Speaker 1: few days before I could actually get back to my

435
00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:53,399
Speaker 1: apartment and when I did, when the towers fell, my

436
00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:57,320
Speaker 1: windows got blown through, so I my place looked like

437
00:24:57,400 --> 00:25:00,600
Speaker 1: a bomb had blown up inside of my apartment. So

438
00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:02,399
Speaker 1: I had only a few minutes to grab whatever I

439
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:04,679
Speaker 1: could put into a suitcase and then leave, and I

440
00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:06,320
Speaker 1: went to a hotel and I sat down on the

441
00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:08,920
Speaker 1: floor and it really made me think about what was

442
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:11,920
Speaker 1: important in life and what did I want my life

443
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:14,359
Speaker 1: to be about, because I've essentially I felt like in

444
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:16,760
Speaker 1: that moment, I had a second chance, and I realized

445
00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:21,840
Speaker 1: that those close to three thousand people that perished that day,

446
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:25,560
Speaker 1: they don't have a second chance. And so no matter

447
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:28,160
Speaker 1: what you're dealing with, whether it's cancer or a challenge

448
00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:31,840
Speaker 1: or a relationship issue, at least you have the chance

449
00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:35,199
Speaker 1: or the opportunity to decide who you want to be

450
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:38,479
Speaker 1: in this experience, and the last thing I wanted to

451
00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:41,719
Speaker 1: do was to let that experience define who I was

452
00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:44,480
Speaker 1: and to get me down. And I realized the only

453
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:46,320
Speaker 1: thing that was holding me back from going out to

454
00:25:46,359 --> 00:25:49,760
Speaker 1: Hollywood to pursue this crazy idea of being a professional

455
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:54,560
Speaker 1: actor was my limiting beliefs and that fear of failure.

456
00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:57,199
Speaker 1: And I just I was like, well, what would my

457
00:25:57,320 --> 00:26:01,959
Speaker 1: acting teacher, Jackie Siegel say, on yourself and Nana, remember

458
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:03,199
Speaker 1: who you are? And I was like, you know what,

459
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:06,919
Speaker 1: the only thing that's stopping me is my own self doubt.

460
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:09,320
Speaker 1: And I just started thinking about if I were one

461
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:12,520
Speaker 1: of those people trapped up in the towers, if I

462
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:14,359
Speaker 1: was given a second chance at life, or if you

463
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:17,399
Speaker 1: were given a second chance at life, what would you

464
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:20,240
Speaker 1: do and would you let your fears and your doubts

465
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:22,760
Speaker 1: stop you from going after what you truly care about

466
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:25,800
Speaker 1: and what matters most to you? And I was like,

467
00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:28,120
Speaker 1: I realized the only thing that was holding me back

468
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:32,800
Speaker 1: was me, and so I decided, you know what, screw it,

469
00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:48,320
Speaker 1: let's go, let's do this. I went out to Hollywood,

470
00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:50,920
Speaker 1: and this is where you got to understand you don't

471
00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:52,320
Speaker 1: have to be the best, you don't have to be

472
00:26:52,359 --> 00:26:53,960
Speaker 1: the smartest, you don't have to be the best looking,

473
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:57,000
Speaker 1: because that's not about that. I only had two years

474
00:26:57,040 --> 00:26:59,159
Speaker 1: of acting experience and I went out to Hollywood and

475
00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:02,320
Speaker 1: I started booking these roles because I was going into

476
00:27:02,359 --> 00:27:05,359
Speaker 1: these auditions with this passion and this desire to be like,

477
00:27:05,359 --> 00:27:08,399
Speaker 1: holy crap, I'm glad to be alive. So when you

478
00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:10,840
Speaker 1: show up in life not worried about what other people think,

479
00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:13,199
Speaker 1: but you're focused on whatever what it is that you

480
00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:16,879
Speaker 1: truly passionately desire and want from here not from here,

481
00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:20,440
Speaker 1: the world starts showing up differently for you. And after

482
00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:23,240
Speaker 1: I started doing this, after a few years of auditioning,

483
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:26,000
Speaker 1: I booked that role on all my children. So then

484
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:28,600
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, this is amazing. I'm now

485
00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:31,720
Speaker 1: doing what I love to do. I'm now getting paid

486
00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:34,680
Speaker 1: to do it. And six months into my three year contract,

487
00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:38,200
Speaker 1: I got diagnosed with testicular cancer. And now, for those

488
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:41,280
Speaker 1: of you out there have been diagnosed with cancer, that's

489
00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:44,919
Speaker 1: not a fun day when someone you know, when my

490
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:49,199
Speaker 1: doctor told me you've got cancer, it's advanced stage, and

491
00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:52,600
Speaker 1: I'm scheduling you for surgery. This was on a Friday,

492
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:56,160
Speaker 1: scheduling you for surgery on a Monday. It was like

493
00:27:56,840 --> 00:27:59,000
Speaker 1: I was in denial. I was like, how can that be?

494
00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:01,479
Speaker 1: I take care of myself. I try to eat healthy.

495
00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:05,080
Speaker 1: And so this is where the disempowerment can come up.

496
00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:07,680
Speaker 1: And you really got to decide that I'm not gonna

497
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:10,399
Speaker 1: let this experience define who I am or how my

498
00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:12,600
Speaker 1: outlook is going to be. So I decided, all right,

499
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:15,000
Speaker 1: I'm going to decide who do I need to be

500
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:17,040
Speaker 1: in this experience. And so I started relying on my

501
00:28:17,080 --> 00:28:21,040
Speaker 1: acting training, and so I decide to be bold, courageous.

502
00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:25,240
Speaker 1: I decide to be Maximists from Gladiator or whoever character

503
00:28:25,359 --> 00:28:28,760
Speaker 1: or superhero that you choose to be, and start channeling

504
00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:33,399
Speaker 1: that energy because this is this is the access and

505
00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:36,840
Speaker 1: the leverage for us to be able to accomplish anything

506
00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:39,920
Speaker 1: in life. And I'm telling you it doesn't matter what

507
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:43,160
Speaker 1: challenge you are facing right now. You can start to

508
00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:47,400
Speaker 1: create this definitive way that this is going to go

509
00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:51,080
Speaker 1: for you and know that no matter what happens in life,

510
00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:56,040
Speaker 1: that we are these spiritual creatures having this human experience.

511
00:28:56,440 --> 00:28:59,280
Speaker 1: And if you can start to look at yourself through

512
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:02,680
Speaker 1: the eyes of like let's say a screenwriter or a director.

513
00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:05,360
Speaker 1: You can start looking at your life and say, how

514
00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:07,240
Speaker 1: do I want my life to go? How do I

515
00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:09,880
Speaker 1: want this story to go? And if I don't like

516
00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:12,959
Speaker 1: how it's going, how can I choose to be this

517
00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:18,240
Speaker 1: empowered character in this experience? Because face it, we all

518
00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:21,680
Speaker 1: know this. We're not all going to live forever. We're

519
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:24,840
Speaker 1: all gonna die at some time. So it's important to

520
00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:29,040
Speaker 1: focus on making this life as amazing and as great

521
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:31,400
Speaker 1: as it possibly can be. And if you are feeling stuck,

522
00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:35,400
Speaker 1: if you are feeling frustrated, or if you're feeling like

523
00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:39,200
Speaker 1: there's no way out, I'm telling you there is. And

524
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:41,760
Speaker 1: the way to find a way through this is to

525
00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:44,720
Speaker 1: look at this from a different perspective. And so this

526
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:48,520
Speaker 1: is what now leads me to my third point. The

527
00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:50,240
Speaker 1: first one is know who you are. The second one

528
00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:53,480
Speaker 1: is decide who you are. The third one is you

529
00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:56,280
Speaker 1: got to have the support of your community around you.

530
00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:59,400
Speaker 1: So it's important that you reach out to your friends,

531
00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:01,520
Speaker 1: your family, and you don't have to be needy in

532
00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:06,920
Speaker 1: this experience. It's about being honest and honoring yourself and

533
00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:10,760
Speaker 1: communicating to other people what you need in this experience,

534
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:15,160
Speaker 1: and by doing so, you provide other people the opportunity

535
00:30:15,720 --> 00:30:20,080
Speaker 1: to show up to be what and for them to

536
00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:22,520
Speaker 1: be who they want to be. And a lot of

537
00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:26,320
Speaker 1: people want to be purposeful and they want to experience

538
00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:28,240
Speaker 1: what it means to be there for someone. But when

539
00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:33,480
Speaker 1: you deny them that experience, then both people are disconnected

540
00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:36,960
Speaker 1: and alone. And after being diagnosed with cancer that first

541
00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:39,640
Speaker 1: time and having my first surgery, I had to go

542
00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:42,480
Speaker 1: for my radiation treatment, and I was showing up on

543
00:30:42,520 --> 00:30:45,200
Speaker 1: all my children working in the morning and then going

544
00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:47,120
Speaker 1: for my treatment. And after my treatment, I would just

545
00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:51,200
Speaker 1: feel sick and tired and just sluggish, like you've got

546
00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:53,960
Speaker 1: the flu. And I would go back to work the

547
00:30:53,960 --> 00:30:55,960
Speaker 1: next day and do this over and over again. And

548
00:30:56,320 --> 00:31:00,000
Speaker 1: towards the end of my treatment, I had my scene

549
00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:02,840
Speaker 1: and all my children were scheduled for the end of day,

550
00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:05,880
Speaker 1: so I scheduled my radiation treatment for the morning, so

551
00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:07,360
Speaker 1: I went to that and then I went to work,

552
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:10,760
Speaker 1: and then I started feeling tired and sluggish and just

553
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:13,960
Speaker 1: sweaty and hot, and I tried to do my scenes

554
00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:15,880
Speaker 1: and one of my director, the director at the time,

555
00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:19,000
Speaker 1: came up to me and he said Colin, you're right,

556
00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:22,560
Speaker 1: you don't look so good, and I immediately I just

557
00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:26,520
Speaker 1: I broke down because I realized that I couldn't hold

558
00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:29,000
Speaker 1: it in any longer. I'd been holding this in for

559
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:33,200
Speaker 1: like three months, and I didn't tell anyone at work.

560
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:36,280
Speaker 1: No one knew it all my children because it's guy stuff,

561
00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:41,000
Speaker 1: it's testicular cancer. And I realized that I finally realized

562
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:43,560
Speaker 1: I couldn't do this alone. I needed to tell people.

563
00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:46,400
Speaker 1: And what was great about that as soon as everyone

564
00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:50,280
Speaker 1: found out at all my children, everyone showed up and

565
00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:52,920
Speaker 1: they offered to take me to my doctor's appointments, to

566
00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:55,280
Speaker 1: go with me, to help, you know, to bring food

567
00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:58,360
Speaker 1: to me. And it really helped make me feel supported

568
00:31:59,120 --> 00:32:01,480
Speaker 1: to be able to go through this experience. And then

569
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:04,960
Speaker 1: that way, as I started to get better and I

570
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:07,600
Speaker 1: started meeting other people who are going through this experience,

571
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:09,960
Speaker 1: I started to be able to then show up for

572
00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:13,280
Speaker 1: them to pay it forward and pay it back. And

573
00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:15,600
Speaker 1: then a year later I got diagnosed with particular cancer

574
00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:18,160
Speaker 1: on the other side now was two thousand and six

575
00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:20,800
Speaker 1: and two thousand and seven. So the benefit to this

576
00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:23,920
Speaker 1: is that I've been in this high risk category, so

577
00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:26,960
Speaker 1: I've been getting my checkups regularly, And for those of

578
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:28,720
Speaker 1: you out there who haven't gone to the doctor in

579
00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:31,920
Speaker 1: a while, I would say, if you care about yourself.

580
00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:34,880
Speaker 1: And again, as Jackie Siegel, my first acting teacher, said,

581
00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:37,760
Speaker 1: honor yourself. One of the things I got to do.

582
00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:41,240
Speaker 1: Whenever you're facing a decision, just ask the question, does

583
00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:44,120
Speaker 1: this honor me if I don't do this? Or does

584
00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:46,400
Speaker 1: it honor me if I do do this? And so

585
00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:48,400
Speaker 1: by asking you that question, does it honor you to

586
00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:51,240
Speaker 1: go to get your checkups? If not for you, for

587
00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:55,880
Speaker 1: the people that love you and care about you, It's

588
00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:57,560
Speaker 1: not that difficult to go to the doctor and get

589
00:32:57,560 --> 00:33:01,480
Speaker 1: your checkups. For prostate cancer, which I was recently diagnosed

590
00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:05,560
Speaker 1: with last year, it's the number one diagnosed cancer in

591
00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:09,560
Speaker 1: the world. And for women it's breast cancer. And so

592
00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:11,680
Speaker 1: by going and getting your checkups, if you go for

593
00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:14,640
Speaker 1: early detection, and if you get it and catch it early,

594
00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:19,920
Speaker 1: the cure rates are are way more in your favor.

595
00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:23,000
Speaker 1: For men, it's a ninety seven percent cure rate if

596
00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:26,240
Speaker 1: you catch this early. And I elected to have surgery,

597
00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:31,120
Speaker 1: and so after that, and that was two months ago,

598
00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:35,720
Speaker 1: and so I'm two months post surgery from prostate cancer

599
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:38,880
Speaker 1: and again being diagnosed and being told you have cancer

600
00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:44,360
Speaker 1: for a third time. It's still it's still a scary experience.

601
00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:47,040
Speaker 1: But what I've realized again through this third time of

602
00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:50,960
Speaker 1: going through this is that now that I'm more able

603
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:54,040
Speaker 1: and open to be able to communicate to people what

604
00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:58,200
Speaker 1: I'm going through and what I need, this has been

605
00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:01,840
Speaker 1: an incredible exp because so many people have been able

606
00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:04,640
Speaker 1: to show up to support me along this journey. So,

607
00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:07,600
Speaker 1: no matter where you are at or what you're dealing

608
00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:12,000
Speaker 1: with again, I would implore you to honor yourself, remember

609
00:34:12,040 --> 00:34:16,200
Speaker 1: who you are, and to ask for support when you

610
00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:21,000
Speaker 1: need it. It is actually courageous and it requires strength

611
00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:24,080
Speaker 1: to ask for support. But when you do that, your

612
00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:26,719
Speaker 1: community will show up. And if they aren't showing up

613
00:34:26,760 --> 00:34:28,840
Speaker 1: for you, there's a lot of support groups out there

614
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:31,399
Speaker 1: that can support you in whatever journey that you are

615
00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:35,000
Speaker 1: going on. And so if you are looking for any need,

616
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:37,200
Speaker 1: if you're in need of any support, you can go

617
00:34:37,239 --> 00:34:39,960
Speaker 1: to my website callin Nicholsfield dot com. I do monthly

618
00:34:40,040 --> 00:34:44,680
Speaker 1: meetups through my Patreon community. I do retreats. I've got

619
00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:48,120
Speaker 1: one coming up April third through the seventh in Scottsdale, Arizona.

620
00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:52,440
Speaker 1: At these retreats, anyone is welcome, men, women, And what

621
00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:55,279
Speaker 1: we do is we do a weekend of rejuvenation. It's

622
00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:58,319
Speaker 1: health and wellness. We do yoga, sound bowl healing, we

623
00:34:58,440 --> 00:35:01,200
Speaker 1: go hiking, we do a dance contest. On Saturday night,

624
00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:05,360
Speaker 1: I have a whole lineup of empowering guest speakers about

625
00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:10,000
Speaker 1: mindfulness and wellness. And on Sunday we're doing horseback riding

626
00:35:10,080 --> 00:35:12,640
Speaker 1: and then I'm going to be doing a private screening

627
00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:16,640
Speaker 1: of my new movie Where the Wind Blows on April sixth.

628
00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:19,879
Speaker 1: So if you're interested in coming to the retreat, we've

629
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:22,560
Speaker 1: got a great group of people coming. We've got four

630
00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:26,320
Speaker 1: spots left. Again, you go to my website Collinegglesfield dot com,

631
00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:29,600
Speaker 1: click on the events tab and so I've got Scott

632
00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:33,360
Speaker 1: still and I've got Ireland coming up May twenty seconds

633
00:35:33,360 --> 00:35:38,080
Speaker 1: through the twenty sixth hike's wellness, yoga, all that good stuff.

634
00:35:38,160 --> 00:35:41,479
Speaker 1: So again I'm here to support you, and I'm here

635
00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:46,800
Speaker 1: to just sends you through the internet waves. Here my support,

636
00:35:47,040 --> 00:35:49,279
Speaker 1: my love, my strength, and i just want to say

637
00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:53,839
Speaker 1: thank you again to Shannon for inspiring me to go

638
00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:56,640
Speaker 1: out there into the world and pursue my dreams and

639
00:35:56,719 --> 00:35:58,719
Speaker 1: my goals. And I just want to say thank you

640
00:35:58,840 --> 00:36:01,200
Speaker 1: teaching every one of you out there who's here listening

641
00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:04,480
Speaker 1: to this, And if anyone you know needs to hear

642
00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:07,760
Speaker 1: this message, I would encourage you to share it with them.

643
00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:10,799
Speaker 1: And I just want to say, take care for now,

644
00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:13,200
Speaker 1: You're not alone. Love you all,