1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:12,039 Speaker 1: Who's that man talking in my ear? He's rong Burndy. 2 00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:17,560 Speaker 1: Good night everyone, This was Ron and another episode of 3 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:24,400 Speaker 1: the Run Run. What you're introducing the shell? Oh? Sorry? Yeah? 4 00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:28,440 Speaker 1: Is it that you, Carolina? Yes, that's me. You're staring 5 00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:35,479 Speaker 1: directly at me in the daylight at a rough night. Folks, 6 00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:39,159 Speaker 1: if you're listening, if this microphone is even on, I'm 7 00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:42,080 Speaker 1: I'm gonna give it to you straight. I am Unwell, 8 00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:45,680 Speaker 1: if you've never gone through a breakup with a pop star, 9 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:49,920 Speaker 1: well it's like a normal breakup, except you can listen 10 00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:52,760 Speaker 1: to them and google them and wear their wigs for hours, 11 00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:59,160 Speaker 1: hours upon hours all night. Even listen, I know that 12 00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:01,880 Speaker 1: last episode you and see it broke up on air, 13 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:05,560 Speaker 1: which was crazy, and it kills me. How heartbroken you've been. 14 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,680 Speaker 1: I don't know what you mean. I never said I 15 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:12,440 Speaker 1: was heartbroken. Save the drama for your improv class. Listen, 16 00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:15,919 Speaker 1: you watched the whole series of Gilmore Girls in five days. 17 00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:19,000 Speaker 1: That's eight seasons of a one hour show. That where 18 00:01:19,319 --> 00:01:23,440 Speaker 1: you lead, I will follow? Okay, um, Well, today we 19 00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:27,960 Speaker 1: have a famous psychotherapist, Esther Perel. She's amazing. I think 20 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:31,360 Speaker 1: it's perfect timing. Wait, we have a guest today. Wait, 21 00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:35,120 Speaker 1: it's it's Esther Parrel. See you and I would listen 22 00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:39,280 Speaker 1: to her podcast over coffee. Esther is here today? Is 23 00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:44,200 Speaker 1: that what you're saying? Yes? Yes, should I shower? That depends? 24 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:48,800 Speaker 1: When's the last time you showered? I showered on Tuesday? 25 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:52,160 Speaker 1: So yesterday? Okay, yesterday was Sunday. So you showered about 26 00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:55,880 Speaker 1: a week ago. Yeah, I think maybe that's what happened. 27 00:01:56,480 --> 00:02:03,960 Speaker 1: Is it? It's over four years ago? This is so 28 00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:07,400 Speaker 1: Laura li Gilmore of me and you're my little brainy 29 00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:11,360 Speaker 1: act daughter. Rory, Rory, You're better go to Harvard. Okay, 30 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:13,880 Speaker 1: I'm gonna help you get up. Okay, a great timing. 31 00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:17,000 Speaker 1: By the way, Carolina, you booked Esther Parrel after my 32 00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:19,840 Speaker 1: long distance pop star girlfriend and I broke up. Wow, 33 00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:24,440 Speaker 1: really cool. I'm single. Time for me to get into 34 00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:27,520 Speaker 1: couples canceling. Let's just splash water on your face. And 35 00:02:27,639 --> 00:02:31,359 Speaker 1: have you ever played the Gilmore Girls drinking game? It's 36 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:34,359 Speaker 1: where you watch Gilmore Girls and you drink every time. 37 00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:36,839 Speaker 1: See it doesn't call you all right, We'll be back 38 00:02:36,919 --> 00:02:40,640 Speaker 1: with Esther Parrell after this message. Oh oh, that's cool. 39 00:02:40,919 --> 00:02:43,440 Speaker 1: You just threw a bucket of water. I'm sorry. It 40 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:47,320 Speaker 1: was the only thing we could do. You're falling apart. Gosh, 41 00:02:48,560 --> 00:03:02,080 Speaker 1: does anyone to have a hair dryer? And we're back 42 00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:05,760 Speaker 1: with the Ron Bergny Podcast. I just want to announce 43 00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:09,920 Speaker 1: to our listeners that Ron has splash and water on 44 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:14,079 Speaker 1: his face. Yes, we combed his hair a fresh blazer. 45 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:19,040 Speaker 1: He's wearing a woman's medium blazer, so it's a little tight, 46 00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:23,400 Speaker 1: but it looks good. It looks I don't mind the 47 00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:26,959 Speaker 1: look at all. No, it looks great. And I look 48 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:32,320 Speaker 1: like Elizabeth Taylor a national velvet. That's a great example. Um, 49 00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:36,000 Speaker 1: and yeah, we're ready to record. I think good. No, 50 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:40,560 Speaker 1: I feel fit as a fiddle, and I have to 51 00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:43,920 Speaker 1: admit and I you know me, I don't. I don't 52 00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:45,800 Speaker 1: admit this off. And I'm a little jealous of our 53 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:49,360 Speaker 1: guest today. Really wow, I do find that surprising. You're 54 00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:52,160 Speaker 1: kind of in different fields. Well it comes down to 55 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:55,800 Speaker 1: this Carolina. You know those Ted talks, right, She's given 56 00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:59,240 Speaker 1: like a billion of them and I haven't done one. 57 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:02,240 Speaker 1: That's true. And I've made it known to the people 58 00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:04,400 Speaker 1: that at the TED conference, I'd be happy to come 59 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:07,040 Speaker 1: out and do a Ted talk anytime. And the response 60 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:12,400 Speaker 1: has been loud and clear, repeatedly no. Thanks. Well, they 61 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:15,160 Speaker 1: cover such different topics, So what would your TED talk 62 00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:18,240 Speaker 1: even be about? Literally anything? I mean I told them 63 00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:20,880 Speaker 1: they could. They could pick the subject and I just 64 00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:24,800 Speaker 1: get up there and I'd wing it. There's literally thousands 65 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:28,040 Speaker 1: of TED talks I could give on many subjects. Okay, 66 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:30,000 Speaker 1: I'm starting to see why maybe you're not getting the 67 00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:32,120 Speaker 1: response you wanted. I mean, I think you need to 68 00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:34,839 Speaker 1: pick a specific topic. Well, I can do that. I'll 69 00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:37,000 Speaker 1: do that right off the top of my head right now. Okay, fine, 70 00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:41,400 Speaker 1: I'm just spitballing here. Um, Barracudas. I know, I know 71 00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:45,279 Speaker 1: a lot of cool stuff about Baracutas. Bam TED talk 72 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:50,120 Speaker 1: on Barracudas, the fish with sharp teeth. Now, just give 73 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:52,760 Speaker 1: me a headset, Mike and let me go off. I 74 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:55,800 Speaker 1: think that's exactly what they're hesitant to do. Really well, 75 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:59,760 Speaker 1: then it's it's their loss. I mean, think about it, Carolina, 76 00:04:59,839 --> 00:05:03,280 Speaker 1: I would kill a TED talk, and you know it, right, 77 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:07,360 Speaker 1: whatever the subject is, how to fix your VCR, being 78 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:12,320 Speaker 1: a successful arsonist, whatever, it's just these Silicon Valet dweebs 79 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:14,640 Speaker 1: think they're better than me. I don't know if anyone 80 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:18,120 Speaker 1: needs a VCR right now? And wait, are you suggesting 81 00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:21,280 Speaker 1: a Ted talk about being an arsonist ron? I don't 82 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:23,240 Speaker 1: think that's what they're looking for, and I don't think 83 00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:26,240 Speaker 1: that you should talk about it. Oh well, it doesn't matter. 84 00:05:26,279 --> 00:05:29,000 Speaker 1: Once again, you've completely derailed what was supposed to be 85 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:31,880 Speaker 1: my guest intro and you brought us completely off topic. 86 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:34,839 Speaker 1: May I introduce our guests today? Please? You brought up 87 00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:37,320 Speaker 1: the whole Ted talk thing. I'm following you. Well, let's 88 00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:40,359 Speaker 1: just drop it. And yes, I do know some things 89 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:43,760 Speaker 1: about arson, but that should be a whole different episode. 90 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:46,760 Speaker 1: I don't think we should do that. Our guest today 91 00:05:46,839 --> 00:05:49,599 Speaker 1: is well renowned as an expert in her field, the 92 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:55,200 Speaker 1: study of relationships and sexuality. You don't have to say 93 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:59,320 Speaker 1: it like that. Well that's a clinical way. Um. We'll 94 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:02,000 Speaker 1: see what she said that's appropriate or not. Um. She 95 00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:06,520 Speaker 1: is a psycho therapist, best selling author, podcast host. I 96 00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:09,920 Speaker 1: know what that's like, right. And in sen she was 97 00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:13,719 Speaker 1: named as one of a hundred Influential Leaders by Oprah 98 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:17,680 Speaker 1: Winfreyes Super Soul one hundred list. Again, I don't want 99 00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:19,839 Speaker 1: to make this about me, but I'm I'm pretty sure 100 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:22,359 Speaker 1: I almost made the Super Soul one d list. I 101 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:25,240 Speaker 1: was like, one oh one, Ron, you did not make 102 00:06:25,279 --> 00:06:28,520 Speaker 1: any lists that Oprah made. Okay, Carolina, stop, I'm not 103 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:32,200 Speaker 1: implying our esteemed guest took my place on Oprah's Super 104 00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:35,000 Speaker 1: Soul one hundred list by any means, no, no way 105 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:38,839 Speaker 1: she earned it. It's actually our honor to sit down 106 00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:42,159 Speaker 1: with her today. You're absolutely right. I do think my 107 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:45,679 Speaker 1: spot on Oprah's Super Soul one hundred list was taken 108 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:49,120 Speaker 1: by the band Imagine Dragons. I think that's look it 109 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:53,120 Speaker 1: up there on the list. I understand it's heavy competition. 110 00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:56,760 Speaker 1: There's some amazing people, but come on, you've got Ron 111 00:06:56,839 --> 00:06:59,919 Speaker 1: Burgundy just sitting out there with his dick in the wind, 112 00:07:00,279 --> 00:07:03,520 Speaker 1: and then you you pick Imagine Dragons. Call me petty 113 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:07,880 Speaker 1: if you want, But anyway, joining us now is an 114 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:11,200 Speaker 1: amazing person who I would like to quote because I 115 00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:13,880 Speaker 1: think there's a lot of truth in her words. The 116 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:18,040 Speaker 1: quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives. 117 00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:21,120 Speaker 1: Those words ring true to me, and they're they're from 118 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:25,120 Speaker 1: our guests. So if you could just shut your apper, Carolina, 119 00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:29,080 Speaker 1: and please welcome to the program, Dr Esther Perell. Dr Perell, 120 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:31,280 Speaker 1: thank you for joining us today. It's a pleasure to 121 00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:33,320 Speaker 1: be here. But you need to take the word doctor 122 00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:35,920 Speaker 1: out of it. Oh should we not? One? Okay, well, 123 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:40,520 Speaker 1: let's uh who put that in my script? It's okay, 124 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:42,800 Speaker 1: doesn't think anything away from me? Just as a nickname. 125 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:47,600 Speaker 1: Can I call you a doctor? Doc? Doc perel? It 126 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:51,080 Speaker 1: sounds like a Remember it is not real. It's not 127 00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:54,720 Speaker 1: real because I cannot misrepresent my sin. Well, then let 128 00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:57,440 Speaker 1: me just say Esther, I'm just I'm fascinated by your journey. 129 00:07:57,480 --> 00:08:01,120 Speaker 1: You you grew up an antwer Belgium. Correct, You studied 130 00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:03,920 Speaker 1: in Jerusalem, and then you came to the United States 131 00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:06,800 Speaker 1: for graduate school, right, and I believe that's where you 132 00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:09,680 Speaker 1: fell in love with New York City. And for our 133 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:13,240 Speaker 1: listeners who have never been to New York or or Carolina, 134 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:16,320 Speaker 1: who wouldn't last ten minutes in that town, what is 135 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:19,720 Speaker 1: it like to fall in love with New York City? 136 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:22,000 Speaker 1: And and what did New York mean to you at 137 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:25,400 Speaker 1: that time in your life? Okay, a little correction. I 138 00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:28,720 Speaker 1: fell in love with a man with New York City. 139 00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:32,160 Speaker 1: But together we came to New York City and the 140 00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:33,880 Speaker 1: best way for me today. But he was not a 141 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:37,839 Speaker 1: New Yorker. No, not that a Southerner, um like as 142 00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:40,040 Speaker 1: in the Southern United States, as in southern United And 143 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:45,280 Speaker 1: it was he from Alabama, Atlanta or Atlanta. So you 144 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:48,480 Speaker 1: fell in love with this gentleman. And New York for 145 00:08:48,559 --> 00:08:51,520 Speaker 1: me was basically the one place I really wanted to 146 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:53,880 Speaker 1: live if I was to stay in the US, which 147 00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:55,720 Speaker 1: I didn't know that I would stay. I came for 148 00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:58,720 Speaker 1: one year. I just didn't use my return ticket, and 149 00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:00,880 Speaker 1: the reason being that I think it's a city with 150 00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:04,079 Speaker 1: a soul. I always though there are cities with character 151 00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:08,560 Speaker 1: and cities with soul. Sorry that's my phone. And the 152 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:11,760 Speaker 1: ones with soul they basically reflect your inner state. But 153 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:14,800 Speaker 1: it's a dirty soul with gum stuck to the bartimes. 154 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:17,520 Speaker 1: And sometimes when you are ecstatic, it just makes you 155 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:19,560 Speaker 1: feel like you are on top of the world as well. 156 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:22,760 Speaker 1: It's both, and it reflects the darkest and the most 157 00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:25,720 Speaker 1: luminous sides. But it is a romantic place. It's a 158 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:29,120 Speaker 1: great city to fall in love with, absolutely right. New 159 00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:32,280 Speaker 1: York is. Also it's a it's a great city for heartbreak, 160 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:35,600 Speaker 1: wouldn't you say. And it's a perfect city to be 161 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:39,240 Speaker 1: a psychotherapist. Well, if you have a broken heart. In 162 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:41,960 Speaker 1: New York you can identify with every piece of paper 163 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:44,120 Speaker 1: on the street, and you just feel like you are 164 00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:48,240 Speaker 1: dejected and rejected. And in terms of being a therapist, 165 00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:50,319 Speaker 1: I would say that New York is a great place 166 00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:53,400 Speaker 1: to come with a dream, with an ambition, with a 167 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:56,760 Speaker 1: desire to try out something, with a wish to reinvent yourself. 168 00:09:56,800 --> 00:10:01,160 Speaker 1: It's filled with refugees of all sorts. Did you just 169 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:04,840 Speaker 1: clean up? I mean, and your practice just treating New 170 00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:08,280 Speaker 1: Yorkers who are still in constant need of therapy. You 171 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:11,360 Speaker 1: make a lot of money, right with all the New Yorkers. 172 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:17,720 Speaker 1: I think you have a very misconception of psychotherapy. You 173 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:21,320 Speaker 1: see when I mean, I happen to work in private practice, 174 00:10:21,559 --> 00:10:25,640 Speaker 1: but many of us do not. We work in hospitals, 175 00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:27,720 Speaker 1: we work in clinics. We work with people who have 176 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:34,160 Speaker 1: very little run ye um. If you really want lucrative 177 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,920 Speaker 1: and if you want to make money, then doing psychotherapy 178 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:39,400 Speaker 1: is probably not the best way to do so. But 179 00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:44,560 Speaker 1: if you want meaning inspiration as a profession with very 180 00:10:44,559 --> 00:10:48,439 Speaker 1: little agism, actually, because you can practice until your brain 181 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:53,920 Speaker 1: stops functioning, then it is really, you know, dealing with 182 00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:58,160 Speaker 1: the human life. Human psyche, the human suffering, the human spirit, 183 00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:01,080 Speaker 1: the human resilience is probably be one of the most 184 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:04,920 Speaker 1: inspiring profession. It has to be rejuvenating in a way. 185 00:11:05,559 --> 00:11:09,360 Speaker 1: Sometimes sometimes it's very lonely. Sometimes it's quite isolating. You 186 00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:12,520 Speaker 1: sit alone with people and you absorb a lot, a 187 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:17,120 Speaker 1: lot of their life experiences, and so it's very important 188 00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:22,119 Speaker 1: to be highly supported, highly rejuvenated by other things actually 189 00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:27,360 Speaker 1: as well, not just because it's heavy to absorb the 190 00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:31,920 Speaker 1: experience for other people. And yet there's always a Sabarros 191 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:34,400 Speaker 1: around the corner, and you can you can go and 192 00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:38,160 Speaker 1: get get energy from from going to sabarrows or sitting 193 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:42,120 Speaker 1: on a park bench. But I like you like sabars. Okay, 194 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:45,880 Speaker 1: what what do you like the pizza with the spicy pepperoni? No, 195 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:50,480 Speaker 1: I like the flat diet coke flat. Yes, yes, that's 196 00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:53,480 Speaker 1: what I like that They don't really you can't find 197 00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:59,680 Speaker 1: it out here and where we're talking this place, Los Angeles. Yes, 198 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:04,320 Speaker 1: thank you, Carolina. Um are you at that stage of 199 00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:08,600 Speaker 1: what of memory? Menopause? Oh? Men? Memory? No, I have 200 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:13,640 Speaker 1: a very sharp memory. You forgot your first name? I 201 00:12:13,679 --> 00:12:15,600 Speaker 1: did at the beginning of this podcast. I did for 202 00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:18,800 Speaker 1: just a second um, but that is also a sign 203 00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:22,720 Speaker 1: of great intelligence I've read. So let me ask you this, 204 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:25,520 Speaker 1: what was it that sparked you to begin focusing on 205 00:12:25,559 --> 00:12:30,000 Speaker 1: the world of relationships and sexuality. You don't have to 206 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:33,319 Speaker 1: say it like that. So I did relationships long before 207 00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:38,760 Speaker 1: I touched sexuality. But I've thought that family systems. Families 208 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:44,480 Speaker 1: are probably the most complex relational system. Let me sorry, 209 00:12:44,559 --> 00:12:48,000 Speaker 1: that's my phone. Don't you just turn it onto airpoint mode? Yeah, 210 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:52,280 Speaker 1: let me let me just do that? And it is riveting, unending. 211 00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:56,720 Speaker 1: It's just never twice the same. And um, I got very, 212 00:12:56,840 --> 00:13:00,480 Speaker 1: very interested. Instead of just focusing on working with indeed usuals, 213 00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:03,840 Speaker 1: I've wanted to work with individuals in their relational systems. 214 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:07,080 Speaker 1: And first it was families, then it became couples, and 215 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:11,439 Speaker 1: I realized, I'm endlessly fascinating by working with couples because 216 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:14,040 Speaker 1: it's a it's a system that can be blissful or 217 00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:17,400 Speaker 1: it can be hell. It's and everything in between. What 218 00:13:17,559 --> 00:13:20,520 Speaker 1: two people can do to each other, it's just infinite. 219 00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:24,640 Speaker 1: And then gradually I got interested in dealing with the 220 00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:29,560 Speaker 1: subject of sexuality because, um well, I kind of was 221 00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:32,920 Speaker 1: very intrigued with at the time the Clinton scandal and 222 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:35,880 Speaker 1: what it meant in terms of how this society in 223 00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:38,960 Speaker 1: the United States addresses the subject of sexuality and how 224 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:44,400 Speaker 1: different it is from many other places. And but more importantly, 225 00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:48,840 Speaker 1: I think that sexuality is probably in every society, the 226 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:53,600 Speaker 1: part where the most archaic, rooted and trenched traditional views 227 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:57,160 Speaker 1: and beliefs are lodged is around sexuality. And the place 228 00:13:57,600 --> 00:14:00,800 Speaker 1: that where the most radical progressive change take place in 229 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:04,199 Speaker 1: a society or in a culture is also around sexuality. 230 00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:08,840 Speaker 1: You wrote an article in search of erotic intelligence, and 231 00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:11,920 Speaker 1: that was a bit of a career milestone for you. Correct. 232 00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:16,199 Speaker 1: Can you talk about that? I was interested in America's 233 00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:21,520 Speaker 1: attitude responses towards the subject of sexuality. But there is 234 00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:26,200 Speaker 1: no public health policy for adolescent sexuality in the United States. 235 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:29,440 Speaker 1: Oh sorry, I thought it was on airplane mode it 236 00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:32,640 Speaker 1: obviously we're in the middle of an energy I just 237 00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:35,240 Speaker 1: want to be able to have a visual contact with it. 238 00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:40,680 Speaker 1: Go ahead. Continue. In Europe, we think that sexuality is 239 00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:44,480 Speaker 1: natural and being irresponsible is the problem, and that's what 240 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:47,800 Speaker 1: you need to educate for. In the United States, sex 241 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:50,640 Speaker 1: is seen as the risk factor in and of itself, 242 00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:54,440 Speaker 1: and as a result, people are left often very ignorant 243 00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:58,240 Speaker 1: and making an enormous amount of mistakes. I was interested 244 00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:01,400 Speaker 1: in why it is that the posterrapy feel that I 245 00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:04,480 Speaker 1: was part of spoke so little about sexuality when we 246 00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:08,960 Speaker 1: know how central sexuality is to modern relationships and modern love. 247 00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:12,520 Speaker 1: I was interested in the politics of sexuality. I was 248 00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:16,120 Speaker 1: interested in the troubles that people have around it. And 249 00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:20,280 Speaker 1: I just thought it is an absolutely unexplored terrain. The 250 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:24,520 Speaker 1: sexologists don't talk about relationships, and the relationship therapists talk 251 00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:28,120 Speaker 1: very little about sexuality, and I wanted to create that bridge. 252 00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:31,960 Speaker 1: You know, I am a firm believer in talking about sexuality. 253 00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:34,920 Speaker 1: I mean, way back when I was I talked about 254 00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:39,680 Speaker 1: sexuality constantly at nauseam. And why did you talk about Well, 255 00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:42,160 Speaker 1: I just like, you know, I'd be at a cocktail party, 256 00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:45,040 Speaker 1: like is everyone having enough sex? And I just wanted to, 257 00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:47,520 Speaker 1: you know, address the elephant in the room. And did 258 00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:51,000 Speaker 1: people gather around you or slowly walk to the bar? Exactly? No, 259 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,280 Speaker 1: I was shunned. But you both want to take away 260 00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:56,040 Speaker 1: the shock value of it. Yes, I wanted to, you know, 261 00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:59,000 Speaker 1: not make it such a big deal. But it is 262 00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:01,800 Speaker 1: a deal. It is a big deal. It's just that 263 00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:04,360 Speaker 1: you can have something that is beautiful and a big 264 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:11,080 Speaker 1: deal or something that is shameful, guilty inducing, filled with secrecy. Okay, 265 00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:15,520 Speaker 1: I went to the other side. I'm just theorizing here. 266 00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:17,400 Speaker 1: But let me ask you this. Do you believe there 267 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:21,720 Speaker 1: is erotic intelligence on other planets? I don't think there's 268 00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:25,040 Speaker 1: any public scientific research to back it up. But I 269 00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:28,080 Speaker 1: guess what I'm asking is, could there be sexy aliens 270 00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:32,600 Speaker 1: out there? I have no idea, and ultimately I am 271 00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:37,200 Speaker 1: not necessarily that interested about that. Yeah, I'm very interested 272 00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:41,800 Speaker 1: in cultivating erotic intelligence here, but let's be very clear. 273 00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:45,360 Speaker 1: When I talk about erotic intelligence, it's not about teaching 274 00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:48,200 Speaker 1: people to have sex or better sex. People have done 275 00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:52,080 Speaker 1: sex for centuries and sometimes felt nothing. Women all over 276 00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:54,880 Speaker 1: the world know that. What I'm interested in is how 277 00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:57,720 Speaker 1: do you help people experience a sense of aliveness centuries 278 00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:01,440 Speaker 1: of sex? Yes, yes, yes, sis when it was a 279 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:04,359 Speaker 1: duty and an obligation, or when it is or when 280 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:07,600 Speaker 1: when people can naturally dispose of you. There is not 281 00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:12,080 Speaker 1: much talk about pleasure, about excitement, about intimacy, about connection. 282 00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:17,360 Speaker 1: Run are you on your phone? M h, no listening? 283 00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:21,200 Speaker 1: So I'm not interested so much in sex. I'm interested 284 00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:24,040 Speaker 1: in the poetics of sex, the meaning we give to it, 285 00:17:24,119 --> 00:17:28,080 Speaker 1: what makes it totally human. Yes, but back to the aliens, 286 00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:32,440 Speaker 1: I mean, maybe they're just way better. Maybe they're better 287 00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:35,359 Speaker 1: at sex and love than us because they haven't advanced 288 00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:38,159 Speaker 1: alien sex. So what, I can't do anything with it. 289 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:39,720 Speaker 1: I don't know where they are and they haven't come 290 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:42,200 Speaker 1: to teach me, so I can only rely or the 291 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:46,480 Speaker 1: government doesn't want us to know. Oh, you're in that one. 292 00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:51,440 Speaker 1: I'm just saying you just provocative. I watched your Ted 293 00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:55,720 Speaker 1: talk Rethinking infidelity, a talk for anyone who has ever loved, 294 00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:57,920 Speaker 1: and I got a lot out of it. And call 295 00:17:58,040 --> 00:18:01,960 Speaker 1: me old fashioned, but I believe infidelity is wrong. It's 296 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:08,880 Speaker 1: the ultimate betrayal. What what are your thoughts? Infidelity has 297 00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:13,240 Speaker 1: existed since marriage was invented, and so to the taboo 298 00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:18,159 Speaker 1: against it, it has been practiced in Tao, it's forbidden. 299 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:21,560 Speaker 1: I only know taboo of the men's colonne or is 300 00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:26,000 Speaker 1: it a female colonne taboo? I think it's it's in 301 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:29,320 Speaker 1: a marvelous scent. It's like a dusky Motels. It is 302 00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:32,840 Speaker 1: a dusky Motels. But it really takes me back. But 303 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:38,320 Speaker 1: what just to my childhood. Um, but having an affair, 304 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:43,240 Speaker 1: isn't it just it's fundamentally so here's the thing. Unless 305 00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:46,600 Speaker 1: you're away on assignment right work in news, and it 306 00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:50,680 Speaker 1: can be a real pressure cooker. But here here's how 307 00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:54,920 Speaker 1: I will quickly answer you on this one. It has 308 00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:58,359 Speaker 1: been there forever. It's often seen as black or white, 309 00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:01,240 Speaker 1: good or bad, right or wrong, and it is a 310 00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:06,480 Speaker 1: lot more complicated than that. It's beyond painful, it's beyond confusing. 311 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:10,880 Speaker 1: It throws entire relationships into disarray. And I thought that 312 00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:13,040 Speaker 1: we need to find a way to address it with 313 00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:17,320 Speaker 1: more nuance and more complexity than just straight flat out 314 00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:23,280 Speaker 1: judgmental nous that just troys sometimes even very good relationships. 315 00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:26,879 Speaker 1: And I wanted to think about the kids. I wanted 316 00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:30,480 Speaker 1: to think about the entire social community that surrounds couples. 317 00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:34,040 Speaker 1: And to just go into this it's wrong. It's the 318 00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:36,919 Speaker 1: worst thing that some people can do. I wanted to 319 00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:41,240 Speaker 1: also say that a lot of couples deal with varieties 320 00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:48,399 Speaker 1: of relational betrayals made right classic example, that's not the 321 00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:52,120 Speaker 1: one I'm talking about. I'm actually saying something different. I'm 322 00:19:52,119 --> 00:19:55,080 Speaker 1: saying that there is lots of different ways people betray 323 00:19:55,240 --> 00:20:01,680 Speaker 1: each other and that it's not just a perpetrator victim story. Wow, 324 00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:04,399 Speaker 1: did you hear all of that in the Ted talk? 325 00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:09,399 Speaker 1: That part I missed because you were in your childhood? Well, no, 326 00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:13,879 Speaker 1: because I had to run to the bathroom. Yes, I 327 00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:15,960 Speaker 1: made you do that to fulfill you know, I and 328 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,199 Speaker 1: I also had to fill up a big bowl of 329 00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:24,520 Speaker 1: chips pringles. Look, can I get personal with you for 330 00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:28,000 Speaker 1: a moment. That's what people do with I'm recently out 331 00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:31,800 Speaker 1: of a relationship and it ended mutually on good terms. 332 00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:35,680 Speaker 1: We are we're both were very mature about it. And 333 00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:39,240 Speaker 1: here's a bit about us too successful driven And I 334 00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:42,440 Speaker 1: don't know if this complicates it even more, but it's 335 00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:45,880 Speaker 1: a fact. We're both of us are famous people. Fame 336 00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:49,000 Speaker 1: was involved. I was, I was in a celebrity couple. Okay, 337 00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:51,320 Speaker 1: you might want to ask this privately off the air. No, No, 338 00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:54,400 Speaker 1: it's fine. Everyone knows that I was dating the international 339 00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:57,959 Speaker 1: pop Starcia and I don't know what it was esther, 340 00:20:58,119 --> 00:21:01,080 Speaker 1: But we really, we really connect. There was a balance 341 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:05,119 Speaker 1: we brought each other and the only problem was our schedules. 342 00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:07,359 Speaker 1: Do do you have any advice for those who find 343 00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:12,560 Speaker 1: themselves in a long distance relationship. If you're going to 344 00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:15,080 Speaker 1: be in a long distance relationship, you want to mark 345 00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:18,199 Speaker 1: time differently since you don't have the every day to 346 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:22,000 Speaker 1: come home later. They contact, they contact the regularity. So 347 00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:25,359 Speaker 1: what so you you create a different architecture of time 348 00:21:25,359 --> 00:21:29,160 Speaker 1: in the relationship where you meet. It's very intense during 349 00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:31,680 Speaker 1: a few days, sometimes the week, the two and then 350 00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:35,080 Speaker 1: you are a part. I think sometimes the most important 351 00:21:35,119 --> 00:21:37,080 Speaker 1: thing is not to have the space in between, the 352 00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:40,360 Speaker 1: dead space, but to find a way to make that 353 00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:44,720 Speaker 1: remain vibrant in the relationship. And that means not that 354 00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:46,919 Speaker 1: you have your cameras on where both people are in 355 00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:51,080 Speaker 1: the kitchen talking about you know, so no no camera 356 00:21:51,119 --> 00:21:53,119 Speaker 1: crews following you in your day to day if you 357 00:21:53,119 --> 00:21:56,840 Speaker 1: can help it. No, it's I think actually letter writing 358 00:21:56,960 --> 00:22:01,399 Speaker 1: is way more powerful. Letter writing the lost art of 359 00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:04,800 Speaker 1: how people used to sit to take a letter, open 360 00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:07,520 Speaker 1: it and immerse themselves in it and spend time with 361 00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:10,359 Speaker 1: another person who's not there but were so immediate and 362 00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:12,480 Speaker 1: palpable at the same time. But what if you don't 363 00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:19,080 Speaker 1: know how to write in cursive my letter it's chicken 364 00:22:19,119 --> 00:22:24,040 Speaker 1: scratch type type of way. Type of ways. So written 365 00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:26,960 Speaker 1: is very powerful, but type of way to go and 366 00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:30,960 Speaker 1: send an email, but it is there's something about writing 367 00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:34,720 Speaker 1: and about sitting with someone's words that kind of enter 368 00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:38,680 Speaker 1: you like that that is extremely powerful for long distance relationships. 369 00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:43,400 Speaker 1: When when we finally got to see each other, it 370 00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:47,440 Speaker 1: was so white hot the passion we missed each other, Yes, 371 00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:49,800 Speaker 1: but you had to imagine so many things alone that 372 00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:52,320 Speaker 1: when the other thing that when seeing each other did 373 00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:56,080 Speaker 1: not manifest according to your dreams and expectations, then it 374 00:22:56,160 --> 00:23:00,840 Speaker 1: became big disappointments. You nailed it, because everybody is alone, 375 00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:02,520 Speaker 1: they're thinking, when I'll see you, this is what's going 376 00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:04,280 Speaker 1: to happen. This is what's going to happen, and then 377 00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:06,800 Speaker 1: they see the real person and if that doesn't happen, 378 00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:08,680 Speaker 1: then they feel like there's such a gap between the 379 00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:10,879 Speaker 1: She'd be like, why do you leave the toilet seat up? 380 00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:14,960 Speaker 1: And I'm like what, because yeah, that was a common 381 00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:21,480 Speaker 1: argument that there our fight. Isn't that a terribly boring thing? 382 00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:23,880 Speaker 1: That this is what it comes down to, the toothpaste 383 00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:29,359 Speaker 1: and toilet It's so banal. I don't know if you 384 00:23:29,359 --> 00:23:31,640 Speaker 1: can judge it. It's just what we was our trigger, 385 00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:34,560 Speaker 1: the toilet seat thing, failing in the ball is a 386 00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:37,920 Speaker 1: terrible feeling. But you know, this is where I would 387 00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:40,359 Speaker 1: say to you, one of the most important ways to 388 00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:45,720 Speaker 1: diffuse absurd arguments is the humor, rather than taking the 389 00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:48,159 Speaker 1: toilet seats so literal that this is a sign that 390 00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:51,159 Speaker 1: you would fly into such a rage. I take a 391 00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:54,480 Speaker 1: sledgehammer and destroy the toilet. It looks like you want 392 00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:57,400 Speaker 1: your toilet seat down. Fine, then you'll have no toilet, 393 00:23:57,520 --> 00:24:02,160 Speaker 1: and now you have no relationship. I'm toilet. I can't 394 00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:04,920 Speaker 1: do better. You know, I'm not totally over it with Cia. 395 00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:09,320 Speaker 1: I'll be honest, I'm a wreck. And I mean we 396 00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:12,360 Speaker 1: we were intellectual equals. Say that. I still don't know 397 00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:14,960 Speaker 1: how it was a thing that you were dating Cia. 398 00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:21,840 Speaker 1: Oh come on, Carolina, grow up, um doc, I've got 399 00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:25,400 Speaker 1: such a rigorous schedule recording this podcast, and and see 400 00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:27,960 Speaker 1: it was also very busy with touring and shooting music 401 00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:31,520 Speaker 1: videos and recording hit songs and remixes, not to mention 402 00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:35,000 Speaker 1: the animal rights activism. But I'm here working night and 403 00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:37,800 Speaker 1: day on this podcast. We record once a week for 404 00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:40,119 Speaker 1: maybe an hour, and I just wish we could have 405 00:24:40,119 --> 00:24:44,280 Speaker 1: been in each other's lives more. Um So, do you 406 00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:46,480 Speaker 1: think there's a chance I could still patch things up 407 00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:50,480 Speaker 1: with Cia. We had so much in common. If you 408 00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:56,000 Speaker 1: were to patch things up with your girlfriends, Yes, it 409 00:24:56,040 --> 00:25:00,240 Speaker 1: would require international recording Starcia. Yes, yes, ya, if you 410 00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:03,480 Speaker 1: would be if you want, here's the first thing. Instead 411 00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:06,200 Speaker 1: of going into all the grievances and all the things 412 00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:09,840 Speaker 1: that she did that annoyed you, give chocolate no, No, 413 00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:14,560 Speaker 1: start by doing basically an accountability of where you think 414 00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:17,480 Speaker 1: you wish you had been better, where you think that 415 00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:21,960 Speaker 1: you went wrong, where you hope that she remembers certain 416 00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:24,960 Speaker 1: things that are also dear to you, and I think 417 00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:28,600 Speaker 1: reconciliation if you're going in order to finally get her 418 00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:31,159 Speaker 1: to agree and acknowledge to all the things that you 419 00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:35,560 Speaker 1: have been complaining about all bad. So you have to 420 00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:37,800 Speaker 1: ask yourself, do I want to reconnect or do I 421 00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:42,119 Speaker 1: want to be right? Oh? I already know the answer. Okay, 422 00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:47,440 Speaker 1: well then you know it's never difficult to be right, 423 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:52,720 Speaker 1: but you will be right and alone. If you want 424 00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:55,400 Speaker 1: to be with her, you have got to be able 425 00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:58,800 Speaker 1: to take responsibility for your part rather than just pointing 426 00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:01,880 Speaker 1: finger at her. Yeah. That's the big issue in couples 427 00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:05,720 Speaker 1: is that it's such an incredibly tempting blame system. Sometimes 428 00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:08,960 Speaker 1: it really is a two way street until it is 429 00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:13,800 Speaker 1: a one way street. Okay, let's just shift gears. Um. Now, 430 00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:16,760 Speaker 1: Carolina is probably going to be mad at me for this, 431 00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:19,720 Speaker 1: but cut it off. But I think it'd be a 432 00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:22,680 Speaker 1: waste of her talent if I didn't ask you while 433 00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:25,240 Speaker 1: while you were sitting with us, Esther, if I was. 434 00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:29,200 Speaker 1: I was recently going through Carolina's purse because I thought 435 00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:34,919 Speaker 1: she was stealing from Are you serious? Caroline? I was wrong. 436 00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:39,199 Speaker 1: I was wrong. You hadn't stolen the five dollars. I 437 00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:41,160 Speaker 1: found it in my blazer. Pardt Why would I steal 438 00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:44,560 Speaker 1: five dollars? And I don't know, but I did read 439 00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:46,840 Speaker 1: a bit of your diary. Okay, you have crossed a 440 00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:49,400 Speaker 1: line here that I do not know you can walk 441 00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:51,760 Speaker 1: back from. That's a total invasion of Let me finish, 442 00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:56,240 Speaker 1: please let me. I'm about to compliment you now, Esther. 443 00:26:56,359 --> 00:26:59,400 Speaker 1: Carolina has written what I think is some incredible erotic 444 00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:02,280 Speaker 1: poetry that is for a writing class I am taking. 445 00:27:02,359 --> 00:27:04,960 Speaker 1: And it's private, but it shouldn't be private. You've got 446 00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:08,680 Speaker 1: serious talent. And I was going to ask Esther if 447 00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:10,679 Speaker 1: she would take a look at it and pass it 448 00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:12,800 Speaker 1: along to her publisher. How what I would like to 449 00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:16,280 Speaker 1: take a look at what. I have a podcast as well. 450 00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:19,879 Speaker 1: It's called Housework, Housework, Yes, And in that podcast, I 451 00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:24,760 Speaker 1: would welcome to people like you, partners, colleagues, co founders, 452 00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:31,159 Speaker 1: writers of erotic poetry. Sure, yes, indeed. And then I 453 00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:33,359 Speaker 1: would look at the relationship between the two of you, 454 00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:38,360 Speaker 1: and and I would also look at the relationship that 455 00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:41,879 Speaker 1: exists inside each of you, the relationship history that makes 456 00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:45,240 Speaker 1: you go and open her purse, that makes you go 457 00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:48,919 Speaker 1: and look, I was wrong. That's not the point. The 458 00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:51,000 Speaker 1: point is not just a way that you were right 459 00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:53,679 Speaker 1: or wrong. The point is what drove you to not 460 00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:56,840 Speaker 1: ask her first? You've worked with her for so long, 461 00:27:57,320 --> 00:27:59,520 Speaker 1: and what made you think that you needed to take 462 00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:01,919 Speaker 1: this up on your own rather than checking in with 463 00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:05,800 Speaker 1: her first? Because she speaks around sometimes because you come 464 00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:09,240 Speaker 1: with a and maybe you come with a predisposition towards suspicion, 465 00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:12,840 Speaker 1: even when there is no reason to accept your own history, 466 00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:16,680 Speaker 1: but not the current situation between you and her. If 467 00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:20,720 Speaker 1: you're missing five dollars, let's put it back on you. Yes, 468 00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:23,520 Speaker 1: aren't you going to probably know? The first thing I 469 00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:26,480 Speaker 1: think of is what oh, I always lose things. I 470 00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:29,560 Speaker 1: actually tend to reflect to refer it back to myself. 471 00:28:30,359 --> 00:28:33,800 Speaker 1: And some of us are more inclined to put instantly 472 00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:35,840 Speaker 1: put the flashlight on us, and some of us are 473 00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:38,920 Speaker 1: more inclined to instantly look for where we can blame 474 00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:41,840 Speaker 1: people on the outside est. I want you to be 475 00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:45,560 Speaker 1: really honest with me. I just was. But yeah, I'm sorry, Yes, 476 00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:49,240 Speaker 1: yes she was. Okay, yes, you're right. Tell me, Carolina 477 00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:52,400 Speaker 1: Running and I have a professional relationship, at least as 478 00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:56,280 Speaker 1: professionals he's capable of. Is this thank you? Is this 479 00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:59,640 Speaker 1: podcast is functional and possibly detrimental to my mental health? 480 00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:04,480 Speaker 1: Right for the jugular? Carolina, Okay, I'm sorry. Look, we 481 00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:07,160 Speaker 1: clearly have some things we need to work on. But 482 00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:10,080 Speaker 1: do you know how much I respect you. You went 483 00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:12,280 Speaker 1: through my purse because you thought I stole five dollars, 484 00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:16,800 Speaker 1: but you didn't. You didn't, that's the good news true. 485 00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:19,160 Speaker 1: And you're also one of the best people I've ever 486 00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:22,320 Speaker 1: shared a microphone with. That's nice. Do you know how 487 00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:25,160 Speaker 1: long I've been doing this work, Carolina, did you ever 488 00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:29,040 Speaker 1: ask yourself, not just if she did or if she 489 00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:32,960 Speaker 1: didn't steal it, but on what basis you took it 490 00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:37,080 Speaker 1: upon you to go into her stuff. And where that 491 00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:40,000 Speaker 1: permission that you gave yourself came from? That you said, 492 00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:43,000 Speaker 1: I can, I just, I'm allowed to? Well, I must, 493 00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:45,280 Speaker 1: I just I kind of went blind in that moment. 494 00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:48,680 Speaker 1: And what blinded you is the question? I ask you, 495 00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:51,240 Speaker 1: what made you at that moment not think about your 496 00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:54,920 Speaker 1: relationship with her, the collaboration that you've had, how much 497 00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:57,360 Speaker 1: respect you have for her, All of that went out 498 00:29:57,400 --> 00:30:00,320 Speaker 1: the window in the moment. It was quicker than a 499 00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:04,040 Speaker 1: bus ride to Vegas. You know, I just just the 500 00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:07,440 Speaker 1: just the pure anger that five dollars was missed, that 501 00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:11,160 Speaker 1: someone had just swiped it from me. This ever happened 502 00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:16,080 Speaker 1: to you before? By the way, he's gone, asked him, 503 00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:18,800 Speaker 1: he's gone through other people's stuff. But the question is, 504 00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:21,440 Speaker 1: have I gone through other people's stuff? No? Have you? 505 00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:24,520 Speaker 1: Have you been robbed before in a way that made 506 00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:28,760 Speaker 1: you feel Because I've been robbed in more than one way, 507 00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:34,000 Speaker 1: maybe I therefore can just go. And I have thought 508 00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:37,440 Speaker 1: I had been robbed countless times, and it turns out 509 00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:41,320 Speaker 1: every time I was not robbed. Yeah, you've gone through 510 00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:45,520 Speaker 1: a lot of coats and coat rooms at parties. Why 511 00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:49,600 Speaker 1: don't you say, well, because I've I've misplaced like my 512 00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:51,640 Speaker 1: keys and things like that, and I thought, oh, maybe 513 00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:54,200 Speaker 1: when I met the person, I possibly put my keys 514 00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:58,000 Speaker 1: there and wallets and stuff like that. I'm not a 515 00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:00,880 Speaker 1: thief if we were. No, I don't think of you 516 00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:03,480 Speaker 1: as a thief at all. I think of you actually 517 00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:08,440 Speaker 1: more what happened to this guy or what happened to him? 518 00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:11,640 Speaker 1: Oh yes, and what happened to you even maybe a 519 00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:15,680 Speaker 1: long time ago. That just the sense that things will 520 00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:18,880 Speaker 1: be taken away from you by the people that you 521 00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:22,240 Speaker 1: trust and that you care about. The most dark parrel 522 00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:26,440 Speaker 1: cut into the bone here. You know. I don't think 523 00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:29,360 Speaker 1: of you as as evil or as it's just you're 524 00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:34,360 Speaker 1: going in there with you know, just a sense of 525 00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:37,720 Speaker 1: panic and a sense of excitement. Though that's thrilling to 526 00:31:37,760 --> 00:31:40,760 Speaker 1: go through someone's belongings. I'm not gonna lie. There's a 527 00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:51,640 Speaker 1: little it's erotic. It's erotic a little. Yes, um, interesting, Well, Jeff. 528 00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:56,120 Speaker 1: Siblings Do I have siblings? I have a brother and 529 00:31:56,160 --> 00:32:00,560 Speaker 1: a sister back in Iowa. Yes, yeah, I don't see 530 00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:03,120 Speaker 1: them as much as yes, I would like. And you 531 00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:08,840 Speaker 1: a number I am number one noh in birth yesh 532 00:32:09,600 --> 00:32:14,640 Speaker 1: birth order I'm the youngest. Yeah, and they were much 533 00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:16,520 Speaker 1: older than me and supposed to pick me up from school. 534 00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:18,000 Speaker 1: A lot of times. I had a walk the three 535 00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:20,040 Speaker 1: miles home, so they would forget a lot of times. 536 00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:23,440 Speaker 1: But that's just that's just the way it was. You know, 537 00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:26,480 Speaker 1: I didn't think twice about it. No, you didn't think 538 00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:28,560 Speaker 1: twice about it. But you know, we have this amazing 539 00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:33,000 Speaker 1: thing called explicit memory and implicit memory. The implicit memory 540 00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:34,920 Speaker 1: is the way that your body remembers how you had 541 00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:36,920 Speaker 1: to fight for everything and make sure that you don't 542 00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:39,080 Speaker 1: get left out and you don't get forgotten, and nobody 543 00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:46,280 Speaker 1: takes something that belongs to you. Well, shure, that's sometimes 544 00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:51,000 Speaker 1: what happens. That's that's what bubbles, bubbles to the surface. Well, 545 00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:55,040 Speaker 1: it bubbles in this kind of unconscious way, right, that's 546 00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:57,959 Speaker 1: where you suddenly go into her stuff to check if 547 00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:00,920 Speaker 1: she took the five dollars, didn't think. Thing is that 548 00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:04,560 Speaker 1: we all have these invisible forces that shaped the way 549 00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:07,440 Speaker 1: our relationships at work take place, the way we communicate, 550 00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:10,480 Speaker 1: where we deal with conflict, you know, and this is 551 00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:12,040 Speaker 1: one of those moments. How do we get rid of 552 00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:16,160 Speaker 1: these invisible forces? The first thing is you get aware 553 00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:19,000 Speaker 1: of them. You realize it because if you keep repeating 554 00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:20,720 Speaker 1: she but you didn't take it, you didn't take it, 555 00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:22,880 Speaker 1: you can see you are you know, then you don't 556 00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:25,920 Speaker 1: spend your time thinking about what was this about me? 557 00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:27,960 Speaker 1: I mean me and me and the coat tracks and 558 00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:31,840 Speaker 1: the bucks of other people to the flame of conflict 559 00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:34,720 Speaker 1: at the end of the day. I don't know. I 560 00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:37,760 Speaker 1: love to joust, you know, you like the flame of conflict, 561 00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:42,880 Speaker 1: or you like the relief that comes right after we 562 00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:48,280 Speaker 1: were prepared to take that I can't resist. So this 563 00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:50,240 Speaker 1: is what it's like. This is a this is a 564 00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:53,479 Speaker 1: slice of life. This is sys you in my office, 565 00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:56,960 Speaker 1: or you in how his work or you and where 566 00:33:56,960 --> 00:34:02,000 Speaker 1: should we begin this where you are actually for a 567 00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:05,320 Speaker 1: minute not going over to her, and you just say, okay, 568 00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:07,680 Speaker 1: let me think about what was going before I rum 569 00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:10,560 Speaker 1: to the purse. Take a beat. Maybe this isn't the 570 00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:16,160 Speaker 1: best decision. Maybe check my coat pocket first, yes, or 571 00:34:16,200 --> 00:34:20,920 Speaker 1: maybe ask oh, you work with so you know her, 572 00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:23,839 Speaker 1: she's right there every day with you. Ask her? Why 573 00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:26,120 Speaker 1: are you taking it all upon you? Can we do 574 00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:29,759 Speaker 1: some role playing here? Okay, Carolina? Can I ask you 575 00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:33,960 Speaker 1: a questions? I'm missing five dollars? Did you happen to 576 00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:37,120 Speaker 1: take it from me? No, not a question. That's not 577 00:34:37,160 --> 00:34:40,719 Speaker 1: a question. That's a statement with a question mark. That's 578 00:34:40,719 --> 00:34:46,000 Speaker 1: an accusation that's implied. A question is a question, Carolina. Sure. 579 00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:47,879 Speaker 1: A question means that you have to be able to 580 00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:52,640 Speaker 1: tolerate the unknown in the moment, rather than trying to 581 00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:55,839 Speaker 1: assure what you already. Have you seen five dollars lying 582 00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:59,239 Speaker 1: around anywhere? Is that better? Much better? Okay? No, I 583 00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:04,239 Speaker 1: haven't really, not anywhere, really, not anywhere, like, not in 584 00:35:04,280 --> 00:35:09,120 Speaker 1: your purse. All right, you've lost it? Go back. I'm 585 00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:13,319 Speaker 1: missing something. I'm worried. I'm scared. I need them. I'm 586 00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:20,000 Speaker 1: not sure what I've done. Can you help me? Carolina? Um, 587 00:35:20,040 --> 00:35:24,279 Speaker 1: I'm scared that I've lost five dollars? Can you help me? 588 00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:27,800 Speaker 1: Will gladly help you look for it? Have you been? 589 00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:32,160 Speaker 1: Shall we retrace your steps? Yeah, let's look. And I've 590 00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:34,680 Speaker 1: made a list of five people that I think might 591 00:35:34,719 --> 00:35:37,160 Speaker 1: have taken it, and you're near the top of the list. 592 00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:41,560 Speaker 1: You can't resist, you know, I'm just being logical. No, 593 00:35:41,719 --> 00:35:44,399 Speaker 1: you're not logical. When I look around the room, it's 594 00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:47,600 Speaker 1: the logic of fear. It's the logic that can't tolerate 595 00:35:47,640 --> 00:35:49,480 Speaker 1: thinking that you made a mistake, so you have to 596 00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:52,879 Speaker 1: blame others. It's the logic of deflection. But it's not. 597 00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:56,400 Speaker 1: But I don't make that many mistakes. That are you 598 00:35:56,440 --> 00:36:02,680 Speaker 1: of all oh twenty local Emmy's later, he is, does 599 00:36:02,719 --> 00:36:07,000 Speaker 1: that make sense? I would probably say to him something like, 600 00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:11,040 Speaker 1: I know you hate to make mistakes. I know that 601 00:36:11,080 --> 00:36:14,040 Speaker 1: when you lose something, it just totally throws you. And 602 00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:17,279 Speaker 1: if you could find the culprit right away and just 603 00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:20,160 Speaker 1: acknowledge with him and then let's retrace your step, it's 604 00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:23,040 Speaker 1: a good way of anchoring someone and just say, you know, 605 00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:26,400 Speaker 1: let's go think a moment with me before you just 606 00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:32,920 Speaker 1: like through the arrow and just stop him and anchor him. 607 00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:39,600 Speaker 1: I know you are usually upset when you're completely wrong. 608 00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:44,080 Speaker 1: I don't know what's going on with your brain. You're insane. 609 00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:47,600 Speaker 1: You rule my life and you drive me crazy. This 610 00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:51,560 Speaker 1: work atmosphere is suffocating. I feel like I'm underwater. How 611 00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:56,759 Speaker 1: about this that was? Look? How about this Carolina? I 612 00:36:56,880 --> 00:36:59,600 Speaker 1: seem to be missing five dollars. I don't know what 613 00:36:59,680 --> 00:37:03,360 Speaker 1: happened to you. Can I borrow five dollars until I 614 00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:07,319 Speaker 1: find the five dollars that I lost. I don't have 615 00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:12,400 Speaker 1: five dollars to lend you a liar. I long are 616 00:37:12,440 --> 00:37:15,760 Speaker 1: you two working together? That ain't gonna last about six years, 617 00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:19,760 Speaker 1: but it's felt like a million yes, yes, yes, can't 618 00:37:19,800 --> 00:37:24,120 Speaker 1: wit and can't without exactly Thank you, Thank you, Ebony 619 00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:28,760 Speaker 1: and Ivory. No, too afraid and too immature to actually 620 00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:32,040 Speaker 1: really grow up, and too afraid and too immature to 621 00:37:32,120 --> 00:37:34,800 Speaker 1: leave and to be alone. Similar to a stable genius, 622 00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:38,840 Speaker 1: very stable genius. You are that stable I am. I 623 00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:45,760 Speaker 1: came up with that phrase with the emphasis on very um. 624 00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:49,440 Speaker 1: I just wrote a very interesting blog about trust in 625 00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:51,799 Speaker 1: the workplace that I think I would recommend to you, 626 00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:56,160 Speaker 1: especially because of your inborn suspicion towards Caroline. Well, if 627 00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:59,160 Speaker 1: we have time, maybe is that count on your website 628 00:37:59,280 --> 00:38:02,319 Speaker 1: esra params separal dot com. It's the newsletter and the 629 00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:07,040 Speaker 1: blog and I explore every time. Right after this conversation, 630 00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:09,160 Speaker 1: that will have at least two stories. Not only is 631 00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:11,920 Speaker 1: it on your your website, but you were also on 632 00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:16,000 Speaker 1: Oprah's Super Soul one hundred list with imagined dragons. I 633 00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:20,080 Speaker 1: don't know if they made it and not me, Ron Burgundy, 634 00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:22,880 Speaker 1: not you, Ron Burgundy, he's a little upset. He feels 635 00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:25,839 Speaker 1: like he was snubbed from Oprah's Super Soul on hundred list. 636 00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:28,320 Speaker 1: But that's something else that you could explorence that feeling 637 00:38:28,360 --> 00:38:34,759 Speaker 1: of loss, lost, feeling left out, undeserving, feeling jealous. Oh 638 00:38:34,840 --> 00:38:40,600 Speaker 1: I don't I feel like I deserve um looks not 639 00:38:40,640 --> 00:38:45,239 Speaker 1: only that you deserve, you actually feel entitled, entitlement. That's 640 00:38:45,280 --> 00:38:48,799 Speaker 1: a big word that in the work like I have, 641 00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:52,680 Speaker 1: you deserve nice things and recognition. You said that you 642 00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:55,759 Speaker 1: didn't want to come in today like Oprah's Super Soul 643 00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:59,000 Speaker 1: one hundred list. Would you like me to put you 644 00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:02,120 Speaker 1: on my list? That does not exist yet? But if 645 00:39:02,280 --> 00:39:05,319 Speaker 1: I mean, it's not a big deal, but yes, it'd 646 00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:09,000 Speaker 1: be great. Thank you. You be on any list, any 647 00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:12,480 Speaker 1: list works that you feel that your matter and you exist. Okay, 648 00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:18,080 Speaker 1: Estra Parrel. Unfortunately we're out of time right now, and 649 00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:20,320 Speaker 1: I want to thank you so much for joining us today. 650 00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:22,319 Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Also, I think I'm going to 651 00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:24,680 Speaker 1: call Sia to see if I can work things out. 652 00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:26,880 Speaker 1: And if I get her voicemail, should I do the 653 00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:29,560 Speaker 1: normal thing and just keep calling back again and again, 654 00:39:29,680 --> 00:39:34,560 Speaker 1: leaving voicemails all night long. Sia. I've been thinking, and 655 00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:36,840 Speaker 1: I think I would love for us to have a 656 00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:39,840 Speaker 1: conversation or for me to have an opportunity to speak 657 00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:43,880 Speaker 1: with you and her together, as I would like it 658 00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:46,840 Speaker 1: very much if we could meet. If we don't, I 659 00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:48,719 Speaker 1: would I would just like you to know that a 660 00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:52,759 Speaker 1: letter will be coming. Okay, and I wish you all well. 661 00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:57,120 Speaker 1: Sprel everyone, thank you, Thank you so much, my pleasure. 662 00:39:57,160 --> 00:40:00,880 Speaker 1: Thank you for your wisdom and your insight. And it 663 00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:03,520 Speaker 1: looks like Carolina and I have a lot of work 664 00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:07,040 Speaker 1: to do. We gotta dig deeper. We gotta dig deeper. 665 00:40:07,920 --> 00:40:11,320 Speaker 1: Um mostly on her side. It's the Ron Burgundy Podcast. 666 00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:23,279 Speaker 1: Will be right back after this. Oh gosh, his phone 667 00:40:24,719 --> 00:40:28,880 Speaker 1: and we're back with the Round Burgundy Podcast. Well, esther, 668 00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:33,640 Speaker 1: Perel's a genius, but I'm still single. What did you 669 00:40:33,680 --> 00:40:35,920 Speaker 1: think was going to happen in that session? Well, I 670 00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:38,080 Speaker 1: was under the impression that she would give me a 671 00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:41,839 Speaker 1: crystal or or say some spell. I don't know. But 672 00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:44,640 Speaker 1: if you noticed, my eyes were on my phone the 673 00:40:44,800 --> 00:40:49,280 Speaker 1: entire time and Sea did not text or call. That's true, 674 00:40:49,360 --> 00:40:51,840 Speaker 1: you checked your phone at least ten times during the interview, 675 00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:54,239 Speaker 1: but it was buzzing like crazy. It was kind of 676 00:40:54,440 --> 00:40:56,359 Speaker 1: it was kind of rude. Actually, the worst is when 677 00:40:56,400 --> 00:40:59,120 Speaker 1: you're waiting for sea to call, but it's just eight 678 00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:04,000 Speaker 1: missed calls from your uncle with dementia. Yeah, I hear that. 679 00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:06,840 Speaker 1: I have to move on. There just has to be 680 00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:09,360 Speaker 1: more women in the world. There are more women in 681 00:41:09,400 --> 00:41:12,040 Speaker 1: the world. There are billions, and I have to stop 682 00:41:12,040 --> 00:41:15,440 Speaker 1: watching Gilmore Girls. I thought you finished all the seasons. 683 00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:18,719 Speaker 1: I started watching them all over again. Yeah, so I've 684 00:41:18,719 --> 00:41:21,840 Speaker 1: got to stop, that is what I mean. I've started 685 00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:23,880 Speaker 1: going to gyms and paying them to change all the 686 00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:26,720 Speaker 1: TVs to the Gilmore Girls just so I can watch 687 00:41:26,719 --> 00:41:30,120 Speaker 1: Gilmore Girls on twenty TVs at once. What why? It's 688 00:41:30,160 --> 00:41:35,719 Speaker 1: just comforting you're going through a pop star breakup. I 689 00:41:35,760 --> 00:41:38,200 Speaker 1: don't know if it helps with everything, but if Cia 690 00:41:38,440 --> 00:41:41,640 Speaker 1: or Adele breaks up with you, then Gilmore Girls is 691 00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:45,840 Speaker 1: streaming on Netflix. I feel good withinding our episode with 692 00:41:45,840 --> 00:41:48,160 Speaker 1: a plug for Gilmore Girls show that has been off 693 00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:51,279 Speaker 1: the air for over a decade. Oh and if you 694 00:41:51,360 --> 00:41:56,160 Speaker 1: can catch Rocketman just in time for Awards season. Who knows? 695 00:41:56,560 --> 00:42:01,200 Speaker 1: Did I just sweep? This is Ron Burgundy on the 696 00:42:01,280 --> 00:42:11,320 Speaker 1: Ron Burgundy Podcast. The Ron Burgundy Podcast is a production 697 00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:15,160 Speaker 1: of I Heart Radio. I'm Ron Burgundy, the host, writer 698 00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:19,560 Speaker 1: and executive producer. Carolina Barlow is my co host, writer 699 00:42:19,719 --> 00:42:24,240 Speaker 1: and producer. Our producer is Nick Stump. Our talent coordinator 700 00:42:24,560 --> 00:42:28,919 Speaker 1: is Anna Hostian writers are Andrew Steele and Jake vogel Nest. 701 00:42:29,200 --> 00:42:32,920 Speaker 1: This episode was engineered, mixed, and edited by Nick Stunt. 702 00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:35,600 Speaker 1: Until next time, this is Ron Burgundy