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Speaker 1: I found my fiance's sexy d ms with a rando

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Speaker 1: on Instagram, but I never would have expected who it

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Speaker 1: actually was, the CEO of Instagram, CEO of Instagram Insta.

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Speaker 1: I can see all of the messages and I choose you. Wow, dude,

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Speaker 1: that's some power of all the dms that I can

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Speaker 1: slide into all them. I can as the found of Instagram.

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Speaker 1: I'm a slide to any d M. I choose bro

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Speaker 1: that would be I mean, yeah, he's a billionaire, you

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Speaker 1: know he could he could get some Who is the

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Speaker 1: founder of Instagram? Edward the Instagram I forgot? You're right,

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Speaker 1: all right, the wound is still fresh. Still bear with me. Yikes,

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Speaker 1: all right, well this has chapters too. It's like Harry Potter,

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Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, the Discovery. I had a rough day

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Speaker 1: and my fiance's algorithms are top notch. That that's an

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Speaker 1: interesting like sentence, Like someone else's algorithms are top not

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Speaker 1: that is, but it is kind of try. I like,

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Speaker 1: I like watching my girlfriend's TikTok, so you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean. Yeah, Well, it's it's just like you're kind

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Speaker 1: of peering into their mind a little bit very much.

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Speaker 1: So what are what are their interests, Like, what do

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Speaker 1: they actually like to do? That's actually super cute when

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Speaker 1: you're when you're in love with your girlfriend's algorithms, we

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Speaker 1: love the same. The artificial intelligence has selected us. Yo,

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Speaker 1: low dude, low key, low key dating app plugged into

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Speaker 1: TikTok where your algorithms are like as matched as possible,

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Speaker 1: or or even just like uh an ai that analyzes

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Speaker 1: all of the past like successful relationships and then uses

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Speaker 1: that information to like, instead of you swiping on Tinder,

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Speaker 1: it chooses for you. And it's like, it don't make

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Speaker 1: me swipe, just just give it to me, give it,

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Speaker 1: just dump it on me, take a fat dump on

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Speaker 1: my chest with this relationship I want. I love John.

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Speaker 1: So I was scrolling through his apps, entertaining myself, hoping

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Speaker 1: for a pick me up. He went to take a shower,

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Speaker 1: so I opened his Instagram, got bored with Reddit so sorry,

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Speaker 1: and noticed he had a couple new dms. Uh oh,

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Speaker 1: we don't snoop on each other's phones, but we don't

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Speaker 1: hide anything either, or so I thought, So I clicked

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Speaker 1: on them just to see if they were important, because

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Speaker 1: he doesn't check in so that often. Well, I see

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Speaker 1: dms that are from a deleted account, thus sparking my interest.

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Speaker 1: So I click and I scroll. Messages go years back,

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Speaker 1: maybe twenty to thirty messages total. Some winky faces, some

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Speaker 1: slightly sexual memes, a few photos of lingerie. Nothing outright incriminating.

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Speaker 1: But who is this bitch? Definitely fishy? Yeah, my heart dropped.

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Speaker 1: We're getting married in less than five months. These messages

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Speaker 1: aren't okay. He's not a cheater. Never once have I

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Speaker 1: questioned that, nor has he given me any reason to.

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Speaker 1: But I start to see red. Oh no. Chapter two,

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Speaker 1: The confrontation. I put my big girl pants on, I

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Speaker 1: wipe away the tears and starm it to the bathroom.

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Speaker 1: I rip open the shower curtain, revealing this idiot's albeit

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Speaker 1: glorious naked body. He, though quite startled, raises his eyebrows

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Speaker 1: and smirks, looking to join which suave man. That's a

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Speaker 1: great move, Yeah, I say, wrong move, buddy. I go off,

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Speaker 1: you know, like a badass. He denies it, you know,

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Speaker 1: like a liar. I hold his towel hostage and toss

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Speaker 1: him his phone so he can see for himself. He

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Speaker 1: scrolls and pulls off this wildly confused demeanor. I literally

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Speaker 1: see blood Leaf's face. He just kind of says, stuttering, baby,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. What do you think, John, Do you

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Speaker 1: believe it? I don't think so. Oh, I don't think

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Speaker 1: I'm believing this. We go back and forth. He swears

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Speaker 1: up and down he has no idea who this could be.

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Speaker 1: I'm just as surprised as you are, he claims, criminally.

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Speaker 1: So I take his phone so I can quote this

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Speaker 1: other woman for emphasis the reveal Chapter three. I ready

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Speaker 1: my best valley girl voice to the most recent received messages.

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Speaker 1: I noticed for the first time, inconveniently so a picture

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Speaker 1: she sent of a guinea pig. I think, oh, hell,

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Speaker 1: I love guinea pigs. And then I remember I've seen

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Speaker 1: this guinea pig before. Then I realize she is me.

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Speaker 1: I was the killer of the whole time, So apparently

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Speaker 1: this girl, she says, I deleted all my social media

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Speaker 1: almost a year ago. Neither of us remembered any of

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Speaker 1: the messages we sent, and I start laughing and happy crying.

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Speaker 1: My fiance looks as if he just won the lottery

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Speaker 1: and received the death penalty simultaneously. Oh man, Now the aftermath.

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Speaker 1: Now we said it. Both recently showered, debating whether or

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Speaker 1: not we should welcome a guinea pig into our family.

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Speaker 1: I am so embarrassed. He is so relieved. We are crazy,

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Speaker 1: stupid and so in love. Wow. I think she's a

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Speaker 1: little bit in the wrong here, because like she just

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Speaker 1: she she snooped on the d ms basically yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean did she did she see like something incriminating

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Speaker 1: in like the preview or something like what? No, she

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Speaker 1: just wanted to check, like what was up? Yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: just wanted to check. Is in a very if you

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Speaker 1: see like like if the preview says like you know,

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Speaker 1: like sweat tongue, tongue, fire water, like okay, click, go ahead. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: well I think I think he Yeah, I guess she

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Speaker 1: just saw the request from some deleted number. It's like, right,

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Speaker 1: what's that? Like, let me check it out. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: although it does seem like they like are on each

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Speaker 1: other's phones, that's fine, Like I have I have a

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Speaker 1: similar situation. But like opening and reading the messages randomly

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Speaker 1: is like yeah, kind of a little bit kind of

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Speaker 1: a breach of It's more of like like oh, you

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Speaker 1: need to look up something on a map or like

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Speaker 1: google something or like do whatever. It's like fine, go

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Speaker 1: for it, you know what I mean, through as soon

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Speaker 1: as you start like just like and like even if

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Speaker 1: you're opening the text or like anything like that, but

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Speaker 1: like if you start like reading through unread messages completely randomly, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's a little strength. That's that's not a cash money move. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: not not at all. Low Winge would be disappointed.