WEBVTT - Science 0:00:02.240 --> 0:00:05.720 If you thought four hours a day, minutes a week 0:00:05.840 --> 0:00:09.360 was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the 0:00:09.360 --> 0:00:13.520 old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads 0:00:13.560 --> 0:00:16.079 in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich pill 0:00:16.120 --> 0:00:20.600 poppers in the penthouse, to clearinghouse of hot takes, break 0:00:20.640 --> 0:00:24.440 free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller 0:00:24.600 --> 0:00:30.440 starts right now, nine nine nine nine in the air 0:00:31.880 --> 0:00:36.240 everywhere as we are back at it, Happy Saturday. Glad 0:00:36.280 --> 0:00:39.200 you have found your way, You're you've satayed your way 0:00:39.240 --> 0:00:42.879 into the magic podcast world. Here the Fifth Hour with 0:00:43.040 --> 0:00:46.159 Ben Maller And as a gift to you the listener, 0:00:46.880 --> 0:00:53.640 another podcast Unsullied by David Gascon. The ratings are going 0:00:53.720 --> 0:00:56.440 to be through the roof on this podcast. We do 0:00:56.480 --> 0:00:59.480 it now because hey listen, four hours a night not enough. 0:00:59.560 --> 0:01:01.920 Eight day is a week, and we thank you for 0:01:02.000 --> 0:01:05.480 subscribing and finding This podcast is available on the I 0:01:05.600 --> 0:01:09.160 Heart Network, Apple podcast wherever you get your podcast, and 0:01:09.200 --> 0:01:12.920 there are a zillion ways to get this podcast. And 0:01:12.959 --> 0:01:18.120 as always, if you want a personalized video shout out, 0:01:18.160 --> 0:01:20.800 even a Mallard monologue of Mini Mallar monologue can do that. 0:01:20.840 --> 0:01:24.160 On Cameo dot com to search my name up. It's 0:01:24.200 --> 0:01:27.280 not free, but it's not much. And that's on cameo 0:01:27.440 --> 0:01:31.640 dot com for a big birthday wedding bar mitzvah, you 0:01:31.720 --> 0:01:33.400 name it. I don't know. We're all good, we're all 0:01:33.400 --> 0:01:36.520 good on that. But we are joined because the West 0:01:36.560 --> 0:01:40.160 of the four oh five cannot uh rear his ugly face. 0:01:40.480 --> 0:01:44.200 So in his place a wrestler, a man who has 0:01:44.240 --> 0:01:47.360 popped up on this podcast in the past, making his 0:01:47.520 --> 0:01:51.240 return engagement, the great Ryan Smith is here with no 0:01:51.440 --> 0:01:53.480 and you don't have any cane sound effects when when 0:01:53.480 --> 0:01:55.880 you're introduced they noticed no I do not. All I 0:01:55.960 --> 0:01:59.040 have is this anger for Kawhi Leonard right now. That's 0:01:59.080 --> 0:02:02.200 all I have. Yeah, Ryan, the reason we're allowing Ryan 0:02:02.280 --> 0:02:04.280 to do the podcast is because he's a good human being. 0:02:04.280 --> 0:02:07.080 He's a good person. He's a Clipper fan uh and 0:02:07.560 --> 0:02:09.600 you're you're just a better person. Ryan. I think you 0:02:09.600 --> 0:02:11.799 should be running the company. I think you should move 0:02:11.880 --> 0:02:17.040 up because you understand, in the compound where we work, 0:02:17.320 --> 0:02:23.480 we are surrounded by infidels, these uh, these laker historians. 0:02:23.520 --> 0:02:26.120 Everywhere you turn, you're one of the few, You're one 0:02:26.160 --> 0:02:28.720 of the proud. You wander the brave a Clipper fan. 0:02:29.200 --> 0:02:32.520 Every Laker fan I've talked to was so happy that 0:02:32.560 --> 0:02:35.200 the Clippers were eliminated. I don't know why they care 0:02:35.200 --> 0:02:37.959 about us, but they were just so happy that the 0:02:37.960 --> 0:02:40.440 Clippers got knocked out. Well, I'll tell you why, Ryan. 0:02:40.520 --> 0:02:43.880 First of all, the reason that the Laker historian is 0:02:43.919 --> 0:02:46.840 bothered by the Clippers because Clipper fans are authentic. The 0:02:46.880 --> 0:02:51.320 Clipper fan is real. Anybody can be a Laker historian 0:02:51.480 --> 0:02:53.560 and talking about all the greatness of the Lakers and 0:02:53.600 --> 0:02:58.360 all that. That's easy. Being a supporter of the Clippers 0:02:58.840 --> 0:03:03.320 shows you've got moxie, you've got gumption. These are things 0:03:03.360 --> 0:03:07.239 that the rank and file of the Laker historian fan 0:03:07.320 --> 0:03:10.120 base does not have. They don't have this like they 0:03:10.160 --> 0:03:12.560 get so upset, like on on the Overnight Show. I know, 0:03:12.680 --> 0:03:16.119 Roberto and Coop go, they go enraged over the great 0:03:16.120 --> 0:03:21.320 Clipper Daryl. Clipper Darryll is more authentic than any one 0:03:21.680 --> 0:03:25.440 that has ever attended a Laker game, and it bothers them. 0:03:25.480 --> 0:03:29.800 The Lakers appeal to the Hollywood phonies, and they everything 0:03:29.800 --> 0:03:32.800 that's wrong with l A the tinseltown. The Clippers appeal 0:03:32.880 --> 0:03:35.360 to the working class. They're the they're the people's team, 0:03:35.560 --> 0:03:39.360 and it ryan it drives them that they cannot handle us, 0:03:39.400 --> 0:03:42.880 because that is a reality. I've you know, many emails 0:03:42.880 --> 0:03:45.240 I've got the Clippers are gonna go to Seattle. They're 0:03:45.240 --> 0:03:49.080 gonna least they're gonna go to Seattle. Yeah, it's ridiculous. 0:03:49.400 --> 0:03:52.360 I talked to a girl once, she's a quote unquote 0:03:52.400 --> 0:03:54.240 Laker fan, and I asked her why she hates the 0:03:54.240 --> 0:03:57.040 Clippers so much, and she looked at me, straightened my eyes, 0:03:57.080 --> 0:03:59.480 and said, well, the Clippers don't even play in the 0:03:59.520 --> 0:04:06.280 same arena. That's why. Um okay, yeah, okay, Well that's 0:04:06.280 --> 0:04:09.480 gonna be even more embarrassing. Like the Laker The people 0:04:09.520 --> 0:04:11.800 follow Lakers like, well, get out of Staples Center. You know, 0:04:12.600 --> 0:04:14.600 have you seen the design of the new arena the 0:04:14.640 --> 0:04:17.560 Clippers are building in Inglewood. It is the tarj Ma Hall. 0:04:18.040 --> 0:04:21.040 It's gonna make Staples Center look like an outhouse by 0:04:21.080 --> 0:04:23.119 the time this place is done. And so the Lakers 0:04:23.160 --> 0:04:25.520 will be playing at an inferior arena. They have an 0:04:25.560 --> 0:04:29.400 inferior owner. And it's I mean, it's just it's it's 0:04:29.440 --> 0:04:31.320 got to be annoying. I understand why I would get 0:04:31.400 --> 0:04:34.360 upset too. The Clippers are. They're not the new kid 0:04:34.400 --> 0:04:35.919 on the boy. The Clippers have been in l A 0:04:36.000 --> 0:04:38.480 since the nineteen the mid nineteen eighties, they moved from 0:04:38.520 --> 0:04:41.400 San Diego. It's not like this showed up all that now. 0:04:41.400 --> 0:04:43.680 The first thirty years they were in l A they 0:04:43.680 --> 0:04:47.400 were terrible. But yeah, it is frustrating watching the NBA 0:04:47.440 --> 0:04:51.880 Finals with Janice Adenta Coombo as mostly a decoy and 0:04:51.920 --> 0:04:54.520 the Son. I'm telling you, Ryan, I look at that 0:04:54.600 --> 0:04:58.279 sunst I'm not impressed. Are you impressed? Ryan? With the Sun? 0:04:58.320 --> 0:05:00.160 That they were beatable and the Clippers didn't have y 0:05:00.279 --> 0:05:02.200 Leonard and you felt like they were matching the blow 0:05:02.279 --> 0:05:05.640 for blow until Game six. The Suns had the easiest 0:05:05.839 --> 0:05:08.920 path to the NBA Finals, and it's not even close. 0:05:09.080 --> 0:05:15.680 Every every series someone was hurt, they got lucky. And 0:05:15.760 --> 0:05:18.240 the difference between the Suns and the reason it's more 0:05:18.360 --> 0:05:20.760 blasphemy is we've seen this happen where guys get hurt, 0:05:20.760 --> 0:05:22.840 but usually it's like in the NBA Finals or something 0:05:22.880 --> 0:05:25.359 like that, or the conference finals, but not every round. 0:05:25.720 --> 0:05:28.599 I cannot recall every round of plus I member. People 0:05:28.640 --> 0:05:30.640 bring up Kawhi leon and when it was with Toronto 0:05:30.680 --> 0:05:32.679 and they won it, and obviously they won in large 0:05:32.680 --> 0:05:36.160 part because Golden State collapsed. They because of injury, with 0:05:36.200 --> 0:05:39.200 Clay Thompson and Durant getting hurt in the NBA Finals. 0:05:39.640 --> 0:05:43.039 But before that, it wasn't like every team they played 0:05:43.400 --> 0:05:47.279 in the Eastern Conference had a star player hurt. Literally 0:05:47.480 --> 0:05:52.080 and figuratively. Every single opponent the Sons have had has 0:05:52.240 --> 0:05:54.960 had one of their top players or two of their 0:05:55.000 --> 0:05:57.520 top players not there. It's it's it's I want to 0:05:57.560 --> 0:06:00.040 pull what's left in my hair out here right in 0:06:00.120 --> 0:06:02.800 with this when people people say that, no, that's not true. 0:06:03.000 --> 0:06:07.640 Mine ridiculous. Well, Alice, we can finally say what I've 0:06:07.680 --> 0:06:10.880 always been been saying to everybody that Doc Rivers was 0:06:10.920 --> 0:06:16.279 the problem. Yes, yes, and also the dumb dumbers, well, 0:06:16.360 --> 0:06:18.800 the Clippers, they didn't want to play the Lakers in 0:06:18.839 --> 0:06:22.440 the place. They had the opportunity to choose the path 0:06:22.480 --> 0:06:25.839 they want. They chose the right path. They chose the 0:06:25.920 --> 0:06:28.560 right They would have won the championship had Kawhi later 0:06:28.680 --> 0:06:31.839 not gotten hurt. So those idiots that were like, I 0:06:31.839 --> 0:06:34.520 can't believe they lost to Houston in Oklahoma City at 0:06:34.520 --> 0:06:37.960 the end of the regular season, that was genius. Do 0:06:38.080 --> 0:06:41.320 it again, Do it again. And how listen you mentioned 0:06:41.360 --> 0:06:44.080 Doc Rivers, the stooge. How how good a coach is 0:06:44.160 --> 0:06:46.640 ty Lou? I thought I was worried Ryan, as a 0:06:46.680 --> 0:06:49.080 fellow Clipper guy. I was worried that he just rode 0:06:49.160 --> 0:06:52.240 Lebron James Cotils with with the calves and I was like, 0:06:52.279 --> 0:06:53.680 I don't know if this guy can coach at all. 0:06:54.040 --> 0:06:56.800 But he proved himself. He absolutely proved himself in this 0:06:56.800 --> 0:06:59.240 playoff run. The Clippers have one of the better coaches 0:06:59.240 --> 0:07:02.359 in the NBA. That's awesome. He's a good coach. But 0:07:02.960 --> 0:07:05.479 I'm kind of blaming him for the Game two loss 0:07:05.520 --> 0:07:08.159 against the Sons. On that last play. He should have 0:07:08.160 --> 0:07:10.160 been able to He should have told his players, look, 0:07:10.240 --> 0:07:12.160 this is what they're gonna do. And I don't know, 0:07:12.200 --> 0:07:15.800 maybe he told Cousins to do something, but Cousins didn't 0:07:15.840 --> 0:07:18.080 do it. I don't know what in the world, Bookie 0:07:18.080 --> 0:07:21.360 Cousins was thinking, Yeah, well, I think you who I blame. 0:07:22.000 --> 0:07:25.720 I blame DeAndre Ayton, who grabs zoo box jersey And 0:07:25.760 --> 0:07:27.800 that's that's If that was outside the arena, that would 0:07:27.800 --> 0:07:29.720 be assault. He would have been charged with a salt 0:07:30.120 --> 0:07:32.760 and he got away with it. And the referees giving 0:07:32.800 --> 0:07:34.800 the Sons what they have half an hour to come 0:07:34.880 --> 0:07:37.200 up with the final play, and they could, you know, 0:07:37.320 --> 0:07:39.920 draw seven different versions, and of course they winking. And 0:07:39.960 --> 0:07:41.840 now we can't be We'll be remiss if we didn't 0:07:41.840 --> 0:07:46.880 bring up Paul George, by George, who famously missed two 0:07:46.920 --> 0:07:53.760 foul shots to two, make one. You missed the first 0:07:53.760 --> 0:07:56.000 to make the second. That's how you're supposed to, Ryan. 0:07:56.080 --> 0:07:58.240 You could make one of two. I could make one 0:07:58.240 --> 0:08:00.120 of two. I have no athletic ability this point my 0:08:00.120 --> 0:08:02.520 life anymore. But I could make one of two. I 0:08:02.560 --> 0:08:05.520 can flash back to Moneyball Maller and make one of two. 0:08:06.040 --> 0:08:09.600 I could he chokes? He did, he did, and he 0:08:09.720 --> 0:08:12.080 still should have won the Even with that, they still 0:08:12.120 --> 0:08:15.720 should have won the game. The Clippers. The Clippers outscored 0:08:15.720 --> 0:08:18.600 the Songs by seven teen points the first five games 0:08:18.600 --> 0:08:21.360 of the Western Conference Finals, and then the rug got 0:08:21.400 --> 0:08:24.520 pulled out from underneath them in the in the final game. 0:08:24.600 --> 0:08:29.160 But man, oh man, oh man, enough all right, anyway, 0:08:29.680 --> 0:08:32.760 that's that's not That was some hot Clipper talk, Ryan, 0:08:32.800 --> 0:08:34.680 that you're a Clipper fan. I can do hot Clipper talk. 0:08:34.800 --> 0:08:36.439 When that other guy west of the four oh five 0:08:36.520 --> 0:08:38.880 is here when his pompous ask this here, I can't 0:08:38.880 --> 0:08:41.640 do that because he's a Laker historian. I'm not allowed 0:08:41.640 --> 0:08:44.320 to do it. It's a bandwagon fan. Yeah, he's a 0:08:44.360 --> 0:08:46.839 typical and West of the four oh five guy, you know, 0:08:47.000 --> 0:08:50.679 Lady Dah and all that name dropper and he's got 0:08:50.679 --> 0:08:54.400 that smarmy arrogance to him. And as a Clipper guy, 0:08:54.559 --> 0:09:00.240 we're men of the people, right, we were relatable clearly? Absolutely? Yeah. Right, 0:09:00.240 --> 0:09:03.960 So I have sweet Spot, I've got that. Also, we've 0:09:04.000 --> 0:09:08.719 got pop Quiz and uh, we'll get scientifical before we 0:09:08.760 --> 0:09:11.080 get to pop quiz. We we didn't even have time 0:09:12.160 --> 0:09:14.760 last week for pop quizz, so we have some pop 0:09:14.800 --> 0:09:17.240 quiz questions standing by. But the Sweet Spots story is 0:09:17.360 --> 0:09:22.680 rather simple. So the podcast is about me. I guess 0:09:22.880 --> 0:09:25.040 that sounds awkward saying that, but the people on the 0:09:25.040 --> 0:09:27.520 podcast about us. This week it's about me and Ryan 0:09:27.559 --> 0:09:30.800 because Ryan's in the podcast here. So uh, some of 0:09:30.880 --> 0:09:33.920 my cousins. I have cousins all over the Mallard family. 0:09:34.320 --> 0:09:36.880 The tentacles of my family are all over the country, 0:09:36.960 --> 0:09:39.319 most of them no longer in California. I'm one of 0:09:39.360 --> 0:09:41.680 the few people left in California. So I have family 0:09:42.240 --> 0:09:44.719 in in Arizona. I have some family, a lot of 0:09:44.720 --> 0:09:50.920 family in New York, Chicago, Wisconsin, Michigan, some in Florida. 0:09:50.960 --> 0:09:54.439 Like they're spread out all over, like all over the place. Um. 0:09:54.559 --> 0:09:59.360 So some of my cousins were in town from Michigan, right, 0:09:59.480 --> 0:10:02.400 and it was really good to see them, considering I 0:10:02.400 --> 0:10:05.120 hadn't really seen anybody, none of us had with the 0:10:05.160 --> 0:10:08.160 whole COVID thing, at least extended family. So, um, my 0:10:08.200 --> 0:10:11.960 cousin Marcy was in town from from Michigan and her 0:10:12.040 --> 0:10:15.920 husband John, and you know, seeing seeing my cousin it 0:10:15.920 --> 0:10:19.120 brought back great memories because I remember going to family 0:10:19.160 --> 0:10:22.160 reunions and this is my dad's side of the family, 0:10:22.360 --> 0:10:24.679 and there was like this this connection and media is 0:10:24.679 --> 0:10:26.680 I got flashing back to when I was like thirteen 0:10:26.720 --> 0:10:29.040 years old or something like that. It was great. So 0:10:29.360 --> 0:10:31.640 I went over to see them they were in town, 0:10:31.840 --> 0:10:34.040 and I had a grand time. With a couple of 0:10:34.080 --> 0:10:37.800 hiccups though, And so I thought the perfect platformed event 0:10:38.160 --> 0:10:40.240 would be the podcast. And so I'm gonna vent to 0:10:40.280 --> 0:10:43.400 you about the hiccups at the Mallard Meet and Greet 0:10:43.520 --> 0:10:46.720 Family Edition. So, first of all, My wife is a 0:10:46.760 --> 0:10:51.160 social butterfly. She absolutely loves these type of events, and 0:10:51.160 --> 0:10:54.240 I typically loathe them. Now. I like seeing family, but 0:10:54.360 --> 0:10:59.600 the social engagement. I'm int introvert, so I like them 0:10:59.640 --> 0:11:03.440 to have have limits. My wife is an extrovert. She 0:11:03.520 --> 0:11:06.480 does not believe in having any limits. So we cruised 0:11:06.520 --> 0:11:09.680 over to my my cousin's house for a meet and 0:11:09.720 --> 0:11:13.800 greet with my other cousins and them. Uh. This was 0:11:13.840 --> 0:11:17.559 behind the Orange Curtain in southern California. So I'm sitting 0:11:17.559 --> 0:11:22.880 around the living room there and we're all telling stories. 0:11:23.080 --> 0:11:25.000 We're all telling stories. That's what you do, right, family 0:11:25.000 --> 0:11:26.520 get together to tell stories. Right, what have you been 0:11:26.600 --> 0:11:28.080 up to the last year, year and a half. They 0:11:28.120 --> 0:11:30.200 were asking stories about my dad and you know, everything 0:11:30.200 --> 0:11:32.640 that went on his last few days. And so after 0:11:32.720 --> 0:11:38.280 about fifteen minutes, I start sweating and I'm I'm like 0:11:38.480 --> 0:11:44.520 really sweating, like I'm sitting in a sauna. It's extremely hot. 0:11:44.840 --> 0:11:47.800 Its now, this is at night, it's not during the day. 0:11:47.800 --> 0:11:51.960 We're indoors and it is just oppressively hot. It's like 0:11:52.000 --> 0:11:55.640 I'm in the Sahara desert and I'm thinking, well, it 0:11:55.760 --> 0:11:57.800 must have the heater or on what what is the 0:11:57.840 --> 0:12:01.440 heat index here? This is insane here. Uh. It got 0:12:01.559 --> 0:12:06.240 so bad that my glasses started fogging up. I'm like, 0:12:06.679 --> 0:12:09.959 I'm just sitting having a conversation. It was very I did. 0:12:10.000 --> 0:12:12.040 I did take my hat off and wipe my brow 0:12:12.200 --> 0:12:14.880 because it was sweat coming down. It was it was 0:12:14.920 --> 0:12:17.280 like I was in a in a fitness club in 0:12:17.320 --> 0:12:21.200 the sauna. So later on we were getting a tour 0:12:21.480 --> 0:12:25.360 of a really a beautiful house and we walked by 0:12:25.600 --> 0:12:31.560 the air conditioner and I noticed the temperature in in 0:12:31.679 --> 0:12:35.760 the home. And at that time, the temperature was what 0:12:35.800 --> 0:12:37.319 do you think it was, Ryan? In the house? What 0:12:37.400 --> 0:12:41.360 do you think it was? Now? It wasn't that high, 0:12:41.880 --> 0:12:46.480 but it felt like degrees It was eighty three degrees. 0:12:46.720 --> 0:12:49.960 Who the hell keeps their house at three degrees? What? Ryan? 0:12:50.040 --> 0:12:52.760 You where where you live? What do you typically keep 0:12:52.800 --> 0:12:55.640 the temperature as cool as possible? But but my A 0:12:55.960 --> 0:13:00.320 unit sucks, so it's usually like around like seven whatever hot. 0:13:00.920 --> 0:13:05.360 Oh that's terrible. Yeah. I am a big believer in 0:13:05.840 --> 0:13:10.920 living in an ice box. I you cannot get cold enough, 0:13:11.559 --> 0:13:13.559 and so I always have my air conditioning. I keep 0:13:13.600 --> 0:13:16.800 it insanely cool, especially during the day, which is the 0:13:16.840 --> 0:13:18.320 worst time. But I sleep during the day, so I 0:13:18.360 --> 0:13:20.240 have to have I can't sleep if it's hot, if 0:13:20.240 --> 0:13:22.240 I'm sweating and all that. Anyway, so this is I 0:13:22.240 --> 0:13:24.800 get back to the story. So to me, that's an 0:13:24.800 --> 0:13:27.520 insane indoor temperature to each the room. It's not my 0:13:27.600 --> 0:13:29.679 house with him, so I'm trying to deal with it. 0:13:29.760 --> 0:13:33.320 And then the next thing that really was a hiccup 0:13:33.360 --> 0:13:36.000 for me is and it was very polite, very cordial. 0:13:36.720 --> 0:13:41.240 The host of the event brought out a tray of 0:13:41.880 --> 0:13:48.200 gigantic homemade chocolate chip cookies, like the size of your 0:13:48.240 --> 0:13:51.040 hand with all your fingers extended like that big. If 0:13:51.080 --> 0:13:54.559 you gotta I gotta big, maybe you don't. So here's 0:13:54.600 --> 0:13:58.880 the problem, Ryan, So I wouldn't have had an issue 0:13:58.880 --> 0:14:03.640 with I mean, I'm staring these gooey, delicious chocolate chip 0:14:03.640 --> 0:14:05.920 cookies and I can't touch them because I had already 0:14:05.960 --> 0:14:09.200 started my fast. You know, I'm I am a hardcore 0:14:10.400 --> 0:14:13.640 inter minute faster. So once I stopped eating, once I 0:14:13.640 --> 0:14:17.000 put the fork down, I'm done until like the next day. 0:14:17.120 --> 0:14:18.599 And so I had already started my fast and it 0:14:18.679 --> 0:14:20.080 was late at night, and I don't like to you know, 0:14:20.160 --> 0:14:21.960 I don't like to eat late at night in anyway, 0:14:21.960 --> 0:14:25.600 that's just kind of my my missions. And so I'm 0:14:25.640 --> 0:14:30.520 staring at these unbelievably great looking cookies and it reminded 0:14:30.560 --> 0:14:32.400 me of back when I used to go to the ballet. 0:14:32.680 --> 0:14:34.480 And you know, when you go to the ballet, Ryan, 0:14:34.560 --> 0:14:36.720 you can look, but you can't you can't touch, you 0:14:36.760 --> 0:14:38.680 know that kind of like I could look at the cookies, 0:14:38.680 --> 0:14:42.680 but I couldn't touch the And then the other, the other, 0:14:42.920 --> 0:14:47.880 the other hiccup. Here is this thing dragged on and on. Now, 0:14:49.040 --> 0:14:50.800 I think you're a little bit like me, right, although 0:14:50.800 --> 0:14:53.160 you were a wrestler, so maybe you're more of an extrovert. 0:14:54.440 --> 0:14:58.760 But I'm an introvert, and I believe that these events 0:14:58.760 --> 0:15:02.360 should have a cap on them. I believe that. And 0:15:02.440 --> 0:15:06.080 so this went way past the two hour mark, and 0:15:06.160 --> 0:15:10.720 on the way home, I had a conversation and I 0:15:10.800 --> 0:15:16.480 explained with my social butterfly, my significant other. I said, listen, 0:15:17.400 --> 0:15:22.320 these social events should be like Vegas shows or movies. 0:15:22.400 --> 0:15:25.120 You know what Vegas shows and movies are like, Ryan, 0:15:26.560 --> 0:15:30.600 I have a vague idea. Yeah, they're ninety minutes that 0:15:31.040 --> 0:15:32.880 if you talk to anybody who does a Vega show, 0:15:33.440 --> 0:15:36.960 ninety minutes that's the perfect amount of time for a show. 0:15:37.400 --> 0:15:39.680 Not in sixties, not enough. People feel like they haven't 0:15:39.680 --> 0:15:43.160 gotten their money's worth at sixty minutes. Anything over nineties 0:15:43.160 --> 0:15:44.560 a little bit too much. That people want to go 0:15:44.600 --> 0:15:45.800 out and do other things. They don't want to be 0:15:45.840 --> 0:15:49.440 there past ninety minutes. And so I tried to explain this. 0:15:49.520 --> 0:15:51.560 My wife disagrees. She thinks these things should go on 0:15:51.560 --> 0:15:54.200 as long as possible. She's upset that we stopped after 0:15:54.240 --> 0:15:56.080 like two and a half hour. She wanted to keep going. 0:15:56.760 --> 0:16:00.600 And so my belief is about a ninety minute cap 0:16:01.280 --> 0:16:04.840 less is more. That's my strategy on social events. Leave 0:16:04.920 --> 0:16:08.200 them wanting more? Am I wrong? Ryan? Am I? Am? 0:16:08.200 --> 0:16:10.400 I bad to to think that we should cap these 0:16:10.400 --> 0:16:14.960 things at ninety minutes. It depends on the show. Yeah, No, 0:16:15.160 --> 0:16:17.240 this is a family event. Though I'm talking about a 0:16:17.240 --> 0:16:19.560 family event, I'm talking about getting together with people that 0:16:19.600 --> 0:16:21.520 I like that I've seen I haven't seen since a 0:16:21.560 --> 0:16:22.840 lot of them since I was a kid, and I 0:16:22.880 --> 0:16:24.600 haven't been able to see him in years and all that. 0:16:24.800 --> 0:16:27.200 But I'm still like ninety minutes. Ninety minutes is good. 0:16:27.200 --> 0:16:29.360 That's what I'm talking about. Ninety minutes, Okay, I think 0:16:29.560 --> 0:16:31.440 I think you're right. I think you're onto something. Now 0:16:31.480 --> 0:16:34.760 for me, that's too long to be around anybody because 0:16:34.960 --> 0:16:37.840 I just don't like people. So I would go less 0:16:37.840 --> 0:16:41.240 than ninety minutes. But okay, well, I'm okay for ninety 0:16:41.280 --> 0:16:43.240 because my wife will talk sixty and I can do 0:16:43.280 --> 0:16:46.040 the other thirty and then I'm out, so she'll talk 0:16:46.120 --> 0:16:47.920 most of the time. She could talk all ninety minutes. 0:16:47.920 --> 0:16:50.240 But yeah, yeah, if I was by myself, i'd be 0:16:50.280 --> 0:16:52.840 good with about ten minutes and then that's it and 0:16:52.880 --> 0:16:54.800 then get out of here and go to something else. 0:16:55.360 --> 0:16:58.000 That would be my my strategy. But it was like 0:16:58.000 --> 0:16:59.200 it was crazy. It was like one thing. It was 0:16:59.240 --> 0:17:02.000 like a three studies are a Vaudeville comedy act, right, 0:17:02.000 --> 0:17:04.480 which is the three stoogies where you hit they I'm fasting, 0:17:04.480 --> 0:17:06.480 they bring the cookies out, I'm sweating. I think my 0:17:06.520 --> 0:17:10.199 glasses are fogging up. Uh. You know, it's just like 0:17:10.240 --> 0:17:12.520 the whole thing. The whole thing was one thing after 0:17:12.600 --> 0:17:16.840 it was a colossal series of errors that took place there. 0:17:16.880 --> 0:17:19.920 But that was my my big getting out, my big weekend. 0:17:20.920 --> 0:17:23.080 You didn't see anything that was too hot. You just 0:17:23.320 --> 0:17:26.720 said nothing. No, I wanted to be polite. I didn't 0:17:26.720 --> 0:17:28.480 want to be rude and all that. I just wanted 0:17:28.520 --> 0:17:30.119 to be polite and just gonna, you know, not be 0:17:30.160 --> 0:17:32.080 a douche and so I thought I would be a 0:17:32.119 --> 0:17:35.280 douchey thing to say going about it. You can just say, 0:17:35.520 --> 0:17:38.520 do you mind if I live? Because that's great. But 0:17:38.560 --> 0:17:40.880 nobody else complained. I was waiting for somebody else to come, 0:17:40.920 --> 0:17:43.560 and nobody else complained. It only takes one then if 0:17:43.600 --> 0:17:45.520 somebody else will say, you know what, he's onto something, 0:17:45.920 --> 0:17:47.959 So that would have started like the trickle down effect 0:17:48.000 --> 0:17:50.000 and everyone would have started singing the blues about how 0:17:50.119 --> 0:17:54.080 hot it was. Yes, I think so, all right, well 0:17:54.080 --> 0:17:58.400 next time hopefully, well hopefully there won't be next time. 0:17:58.440 --> 0:18:00.880 But where it's eighty three eighty, you know, I'm sure 0:18:00.960 --> 0:18:02.359 by the time we got out of it was probably 0:18:02.359 --> 0:18:07.600 like seven. And I mean, jeez, I can't I can't 0:18:07.600 --> 0:18:10.760 imagine they were warm blooded people. I guess, but I'm 0:18:10.840 --> 0:18:13.520 cold blooded. I like it cold. I like it cold. Absolutely. 0:18:13.520 --> 0:18:15.840 Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller 0:18:15.920 --> 0:18:19.439 Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm PACIFICIC on 0:18:19.520 --> 0:18:22.720 Fox Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio app alright, 0:18:22.720 --> 0:18:27.280 so let's get scientifical. Scientifically, there are science stories that 0:18:27.359 --> 0:18:30.919 I have found around the internet and I thought they 0:18:30.920 --> 0:18:33.280 were interesting. I want to bring them up. So one 0:18:33.320 --> 0:18:35.479 of the great debates that many people have you if 0:18:35.480 --> 0:18:38.880 you're in a relationship with someone, just in a family, 0:18:39.640 --> 0:18:42.600 one of the debates that often happens is over toilet 0:18:42.640 --> 0:18:50.160 paper and how to properly hang toilet paper over or under? 0:18:50.240 --> 0:18:52.760 There are two ways to hang toilet paper. We all 0:18:52.800 --> 0:18:56.040 need toilet paper in the modern first world that we 0:18:56.119 --> 0:18:59.600 live in. So how is the correct way? What is 0:18:59.600 --> 0:19:02.120 the correct way to hang toilet papers? Now? First of all, 0:19:02.160 --> 0:19:05.160 before we I have the answer, by the way, But Ryan, 0:19:05.160 --> 0:19:08.560 are you a over or under a toilet paper? Guy? Over? 0:19:08.800 --> 0:19:12.159 That's that's easy. It's always over, al right, So I 0:19:12.200 --> 0:19:15.640 agree with you. I'm an over person. My wife comes 0:19:15.640 --> 0:19:20.080 from a family of unders under toilet paper. I've also 0:19:20.160 --> 0:19:22.040 dealt with this. I have relatives to believe in the 0:19:22.119 --> 0:19:25.400 under technique with the toilet paper. But big news here, 0:19:25.560 --> 0:19:29.520 we now have confirmation. This goes back to eight eight three. 0:19:29.520 --> 0:19:32.240 You know who Seth Wheeler is? Have you ever heard 0:19:32.240 --> 0:19:35.320 her name? Seth Wheeler? Uh sounds like a radio host. 0:19:35.960 --> 0:19:38.280 It does sound like a DJ, but no. Seth Wheeler 0:19:38.400 --> 0:19:40.480 is one of the most important people in in in 0:19:40.520 --> 0:19:44.600 the history of the world. He patented he was the 0:19:44.640 --> 0:19:48.679 inventor of the toilet rule. And think about that. If 0:19:48.680 --> 0:19:50.960 you live before eight three, you did not have a 0:19:51.000 --> 0:19:53.760 toilet rule. You did not have that. But Seth Wheeler 0:19:54.040 --> 0:19:57.760 his genius, his innovation. He's been dead for many years 0:19:57.840 --> 0:20:01.679 and we still use every restaurant on bar, hotel, you 0:20:01.760 --> 0:20:04.920 name it that has a bathroom, every house, every apartment, 0:20:06.000 --> 0:20:09.480 they have the toilet paper roll. And this guy invented it, 0:20:09.680 --> 0:20:12.800 and he was granted a patent in three And in 0:20:12.920 --> 0:20:15.280 the patent they went back and looked at the patent. 0:20:15.920 --> 0:20:20.320 It reveals the proper way to hang toilet paper on 0:20:20.440 --> 0:20:23.200 the holder is over the top. So if you're hanging 0:20:23.200 --> 0:20:26.119 it underneath, you're doing it wrong. You're doing it wrong. 0:20:26.280 --> 0:20:30.919 You're violating the memory of Seth Wheeler, the inventor of 0:20:31.000 --> 0:20:34.639 the toilet roll. Now do you go cheap on the 0:20:34.680 --> 0:20:37.400 toilet paper or you go all out? Let me let 0:20:37.400 --> 0:20:38.560 me stop you right there. Let me say this is 0:20:38.560 --> 0:20:40.960 one of the I am very frugal, I'm a tight wad, 0:20:40.960 --> 0:20:46.280 I'm a noted tight wad like I'll reuse plastic forks 0:20:46.320 --> 0:20:49.080 like that kind of tight wad occasionally. But when it 0:20:49.080 --> 0:20:52.560 comes to toilet paper, I'm on the upper east side. 0:20:52.640 --> 0:20:56.439 I'm buying the most expensive Sharman I can get, like 0:20:56.520 --> 0:21:00.320 the you know, seven ply whatever. I'm all a that 0:21:00.480 --> 0:21:03.960 I want comfort from my tokas is what I want, 0:21:04.080 --> 0:21:06.960 and so I will spend what Yeah, because that that 0:21:07.080 --> 0:21:10.639 cheap toilet papers sucks terrible. Let me give you some advice. 0:21:10.720 --> 0:21:12.720 Whenever you're going to a job for the first time, 0:21:13.400 --> 0:21:16.000 check what's Check to see what type of toilet paper 0:21:16.040 --> 0:21:19.320 they use, because because if it's cheap, the company's cheap. 0:21:20.480 --> 0:21:23.080 That's a fact. Are you taking a shot at the 0:21:23.080 --> 0:21:27.840 people we work for? Such thing? I said, no, such thing, 0:21:29.240 --> 0:21:32.159 because I have seen the toilet paper that is in 0:21:32.160 --> 0:21:35.240 the building there. It's not particularly good. And here's another thing, 0:21:35.280 --> 0:21:37.480 fun fact. Here's a fun fact for you right on 0:21:37.560 --> 0:21:41.359 this toilet paper. So the story that went back and 0:21:41.359 --> 0:21:45.359