Speaker 1: If you thought four hours a day, minutes a week
Speaker 1: was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the
Speaker 1: old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads
Speaker 1: in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich pill
Speaker 1: poppers in the penthouse, to clearinghouse of hot takes, break
Speaker 1: free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller
Speaker 1: starts right now, nine nine nine nine in the air
Speaker 1: everywhere as we are back at it, Happy Saturday. Glad
Speaker 1: you have found your way, You're you've satayed your way
Speaker 1: into the magic podcast world. Here the Fifth Hour with
Speaker 1: Ben Maller And as a gift to you the listener,
Speaker 1: another podcast Unsullied by David Gascon. The ratings are going
Speaker 1: to be through the roof on this podcast. We do
Speaker 1: it now because hey listen, four hours a night not enough.
Speaker 1: Eight day is a week, and we thank you for
Speaker 1: subscribing and finding This podcast is available on the I
Speaker 1: Heart Network, Apple podcast wherever you get your podcast, and
Speaker 1: there are a zillion ways to get this podcast. And
Speaker 1: as always, if you want a personalized video shout out,
Speaker 1: even a Mallard monologue of Mini Mallar monologue can do that.
Speaker 1: On Cameo dot com to search my name up. It's
Speaker 1: not free, but it's not much. And that's on cameo
Speaker 1: dot com for a big birthday wedding bar mitzvah, you
Speaker 1: name it. I don't know. We're all good, we're all
Speaker 1: good on that. But we are joined because the West
Speaker 1: of the four oh five cannot uh rear his ugly face.
Speaker 1: So in his place a wrestler, a man who has
Speaker 1: popped up on this podcast in the past, making his
Speaker 1: return engagement, the great Ryan Smith is here with no
Speaker 1: and you don't have any cane sound effects when when
Speaker 1: you're introduced they noticed no I do not. All I
Speaker 1: have is this anger for Kawhi Leonard right now. That's
Speaker 1: all I have. Yeah, Ryan, the reason we're allowing Ryan
Speaker 1: to do the podcast is because he's a good human being.
Speaker 1: He's a good person. He's a Clipper fan uh and
Speaker 1: you're you're just a better person. Ryan. I think you
Speaker 1: should be running the company. I think you should move
Speaker 1: up because you understand, in the compound where we work,
Speaker 1: we are surrounded by infidels, these uh, these laker historians.
Speaker 1: Everywhere you turn, you're one of the few, You're one
Speaker 1: of the proud. You wander the brave a Clipper fan.
Speaker 1: Every Laker fan I've talked to was so happy that
Speaker 1: the Clippers were eliminated. I don't know why they care
Speaker 1: about us, but they were just so happy that the
Speaker 1: Clippers got knocked out. Well, I'll tell you why, Ryan.
Speaker 1: First of all, the reason that the Laker historian is
Speaker 1: bothered by the Clippers because Clipper fans are authentic. The
Speaker 1: Clipper fan is real. Anybody can be a Laker historian
Speaker 1: and talking about all the greatness of the Lakers and
Speaker 1: all that. That's easy. Being a supporter of the Clippers
Speaker 1: shows you've got moxie, you've got gumption. These are things
Speaker 1: that the rank and file of the Laker historian fan
Speaker 1: base does not have. They don't have this like they
Speaker 1: get so upset, like on on the Overnight Show. I know,
Speaker 1: Roberto and Coop go, they go enraged over the great
Speaker 1: Clipper Daryl. Clipper Darryll is more authentic than any one
Speaker 1: that has ever attended a Laker game, and it bothers them.
Speaker 1: The Lakers appeal to the Hollywood phonies, and they everything
Speaker 1: that's wrong with l A the tinseltown. The Clippers appeal
Speaker 1: to the working class. They're the they're the people's team,
Speaker 1: and it ryan it drives them that they cannot handle us,
Speaker 1: because that is a reality. I've you know, many emails
Speaker 1: I've got the Clippers are gonna go to Seattle. They're
Speaker 1: gonna least they're gonna go to Seattle. Yeah, it's ridiculous.
Speaker 1: I talked to a girl once, she's a quote unquote
Speaker 1: Laker fan, and I asked her why she hates the
Speaker 1: Clippers so much, and she looked at me, straightened my eyes,
Speaker 1: and said, well, the Clippers don't even play in the
Speaker 1: same arena. That's why. Um okay, yeah, okay, Well that's
Speaker 1: gonna be even more embarrassing. Like the Laker The people
Speaker 1: follow Lakers like, well, get out of Staples Center. You know,
Speaker 1: have you seen the design of the new arena the
Speaker 1: Clippers are building in Inglewood. It is the tarj Ma Hall.
Speaker 1: It's gonna make Staples Center look like an outhouse by
Speaker 1: the time this place is done. And so the Lakers
Speaker 1: will be playing at an inferior arena. They have an
Speaker 1: inferior owner. And it's I mean, it's just it's it's
Speaker 1: got to be annoying. I understand why I would get
Speaker 1: upset too. The Clippers are. They're not the new kid
Speaker 1: on the boy. The Clippers have been in l A
Speaker 1: since the nineteen the mid nineteen eighties, they moved from
Speaker 1: San Diego. It's not like this showed up all that now.
Speaker 1: The first thirty years they were in l A they
Speaker 1: were terrible. But yeah, it is frustrating watching the NBA
Speaker 1: Finals with Janice Adenta Coombo as mostly a decoy and
Speaker 1: the Son. I'm telling you, Ryan, I look at that
Speaker 1: sunst I'm not impressed. Are you impressed? Ryan? With the Sun?
Speaker 1: That they were beatable and the Clippers didn't have y
Speaker 1: Leonard and you felt like they were matching the blow
Speaker 1: for blow until Game six. The Suns had the easiest
Speaker 1: path to the NBA Finals, and it's not even close.
Speaker 1: Every every series someone was hurt, they got lucky. And
Speaker 1: the difference between the Suns and the reason it's more
Speaker 1: blasphemy is we've seen this happen where guys get hurt,
Speaker 1: but usually it's like in the NBA Finals or something
Speaker 1: like that, or the conference finals, but not every round.
Speaker 1: I cannot recall every round of plus I member. People
Speaker 1: bring up Kawhi leon and when it was with Toronto
Speaker 1: and they won it, and obviously they won in large
Speaker 1: part because Golden State collapsed. They because of injury, with
Speaker 1: Clay Thompson and Durant getting hurt in the NBA Finals.
Speaker 1: But before that, it wasn't like every team they played
Speaker 1: in the Eastern Conference had a star player hurt. Literally
Speaker 1: and figuratively. Every single opponent the Sons have had has
Speaker 1: had one of their top players or two of their
Speaker 1: top players not there. It's it's it's I want to
Speaker 1: pull what's left in my hair out here right in
Speaker 1: with this when people people say that, no, that's not true.
Speaker 1: Mine ridiculous. Well, Alice, we can finally say what I've
Speaker 1: always been been saying to everybody that Doc Rivers was
Speaker 1: the problem. Yes, yes, and also the dumb dumbers, well,
Speaker 1: the Clippers, they didn't want to play the Lakers in
Speaker 1: the place. They had the opportunity to choose the path
Speaker 1: they want. They chose the right path. They chose the
Speaker 1: right They would have won the championship had Kawhi later
Speaker 1: not gotten hurt. So those idiots that were like, I
Speaker 1: can't believe they lost to Houston in Oklahoma City at
Speaker 1: the end of the regular season, that was genius. Do
Speaker 1: it again, Do it again. And how listen you mentioned
Speaker 1: Doc Rivers, the stooge. How how good a coach is
Speaker 1: ty Lou? I thought I was worried Ryan, as a
Speaker 1: fellow Clipper guy. I was worried that he just rode
Speaker 1: Lebron James Cotils with with the calves and I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't know if this guy can coach at all.
Speaker 1: But he proved himself. He absolutely proved himself in this
Speaker 1: playoff run. The Clippers have one of the better coaches
Speaker 1: in the NBA. That's awesome. He's a good coach. But
Speaker 1: I'm kind of blaming him for the Game two loss
Speaker 1: against the Sons. On that last play. He should have
Speaker 1: been able to He should have told his players, look,
Speaker 1: this is what they're gonna do. And I don't know,
Speaker 1: maybe he told Cousins to do something, but Cousins didn't
Speaker 1: do it. I don't know what in the world, Bookie
Speaker 1: Cousins was thinking, Yeah, well, I think you who I blame.
Speaker 1: I blame DeAndre Ayton, who grabs zoo box jersey And
Speaker 1: that's that's If that was outside the arena, that would
Speaker 1: be assault. He would have been charged with a salt
Speaker 1: and he got away with it. And the referees giving
Speaker 1: the Sons what they have half an hour to come
Speaker 1: up with the final play, and they could, you know,
Speaker 1: draw seven different versions, and of course they winking. And
Speaker 1: now we can't be We'll be remiss if we didn't
Speaker 1: bring up Paul George, by George, who famously missed two
Speaker 1: foul shots to two, make one. You missed the first
Speaker 1: to make the second. That's how you're supposed to, Ryan.
Speaker 1: You could make one of two. I could make one
Speaker 1: of two. I have no athletic ability this point my
Speaker 1: life anymore. But I could make one of two. I
Speaker 1: can flash back to Moneyball Maller and make one of two.
Speaker 1: I could he chokes? He did, he did, and he
Speaker 1: still should have won the Even with that, they still
Speaker 1: should have won the game. The Clippers. The Clippers outscored
Speaker 1: the Songs by seven teen points the first five games
Speaker 1: of the Western Conference Finals, and then the rug got
Speaker 1: pulled out from underneath them in the in the final game.
Speaker 1: But man, oh man, oh man, enough all right, anyway,
Speaker 1: that's that's not That was some hot Clipper talk, Ryan,
Speaker 1: that you're a Clipper fan. I can do hot Clipper talk.
Speaker 1: When that other guy west of the four oh five
Speaker 1: is here when his pompous ask this here, I can't
Speaker 1: do that because he's a Laker historian. I'm not allowed
Speaker 1: to do it. It's a bandwagon fan. Yeah, he's a
Speaker 1: typical and West of the four oh five guy, you know,
Speaker 1: Lady Dah and all that name dropper and he's got
Speaker 1: that smarmy arrogance to him. And as a Clipper guy,
Speaker 1: we're men of the people, right, we were relatable clearly? Absolutely? Yeah. Right,
Speaker 1: So I have sweet Spot, I've got that. Also, we've
Speaker 1: got pop Quiz and uh, we'll get scientifical before we
Speaker 1: get to pop quiz. We we didn't even have time
Speaker 1: last week for pop quizz, so we have some pop
Speaker 1: quiz questions standing by. But the Sweet Spots story is
Speaker 1: rather simple. So the podcast is about me. I guess
Speaker 1: that sounds awkward saying that, but the people on the
Speaker 1: podcast about us. This week it's about me and Ryan
Speaker 1: because Ryan's in the podcast here. So uh, some of
Speaker 1: my cousins. I have cousins all over the Mallard family.
Speaker 1: The tentacles of my family are all over the country,
Speaker 1: most of them no longer in California. I'm one of
Speaker 1: the few people left in California. So I have family
Speaker 1: in in Arizona. I have some family, a lot of
Speaker 1: family in New York, Chicago, Wisconsin, Michigan, some in Florida.
Speaker 1: Like they're spread out all over, like all over the place. Um.
Speaker 1: So some of my cousins were in town from Michigan, right,
Speaker 1: and it was really good to see them, considering I
Speaker 1: hadn't really seen anybody, none of us had with the
Speaker 1: whole COVID thing, at least extended family. So, um, my
Speaker 1: cousin Marcy was in town from from Michigan and her
Speaker 1: husband John, and you know, seeing seeing my cousin it
Speaker 1: brought back great memories because I remember going to family
Speaker 1: reunions and this is my dad's side of the family,
Speaker 1: and there was like this this connection and media is
Speaker 1: I got flashing back to when I was like thirteen
Speaker 1: years old or something like that. It was great. So
Speaker 1: I went over to see them they were in town,
Speaker 1: and I had a grand time. With a couple of
Speaker 1: hiccups though, And so I thought the perfect platformed event
Speaker 1: would be the podcast. And so I'm gonna vent to
Speaker 1: you about the hiccups at the Mallard Meet and Greet
Speaker 1: Family Edition. So, first of all, My wife is a
Speaker 1: social butterfly. She absolutely loves these type of events, and
Speaker 1: I typically loathe them. Now. I like seeing family, but
Speaker 1: the social engagement. I'm int introvert, so I like them
Speaker 1: to have have limits. My wife is an extrovert. She
Speaker 1: does not believe in having any limits. So we cruised
Speaker 1: over to my my cousin's house for a meet and
Speaker 1: greet with my other cousins and them. Uh. This was
Speaker 1: behind the Orange Curtain in southern California. So I'm sitting
Speaker 1: around the living room there and we're all telling stories.
Speaker 1: We're all telling stories. That's what you do, right, family
Speaker 1: get together to tell stories. Right, what have you been
Speaker 1: up to the last year, year and a half. They
Speaker 1: were asking stories about my dad and you know, everything
Speaker 1: that went on his last few days. And so after
Speaker 1: about fifteen minutes, I start sweating and I'm I'm like
Speaker 1: really sweating, like I'm sitting in a sauna. It's extremely hot.
Speaker 1: Its now, this is at night, it's not during the day.
Speaker 1: We're indoors and it is just oppressively hot. It's like
Speaker 1: I'm in the Sahara desert and I'm thinking, well, it
Speaker 1: must have the heater or on what what is the
Speaker 1: heat index here? This is insane here. Uh. It got
Speaker 1: so bad that my glasses started fogging up. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm just sitting having a conversation. It was very I did.
Speaker 1: I did take my hat off and wipe my brow
Speaker 1: because it was sweat coming down. It was it was
Speaker 1: like I was in a in a fitness club in
Speaker 1: the sauna. So later on we were getting a tour
Speaker 1: of a really a beautiful house and we walked by
Speaker 1: the air conditioner and I noticed the temperature in in
Speaker 1: the home. And at that time, the temperature was what
Speaker 1: do you think it was, Ryan? In the house? What
Speaker 1: do you think it was? Now? It wasn't that high,
Speaker 1: but it felt like degrees It was eighty three degrees.
Speaker 1: Who the hell keeps their house at three degrees? What? Ryan?
Speaker 1: You where where you live? What do you typically keep
Speaker 1: the temperature as cool as possible? But but my A
Speaker 1: unit sucks, so it's usually like around like seven whatever hot.
Speaker 1: Oh that's terrible. Yeah. I am a big believer in
Speaker 1: living in an ice box. I you cannot get cold enough,
Speaker 1: and so I always have my air conditioning. I keep
Speaker 1: it insanely cool, especially during the day, which is the
Speaker 1: worst time. But I sleep during the day, so I
Speaker 1: have to have I can't sleep if it's hot, if
Speaker 1: I'm sweating and all that. Anyway, so this is I
Speaker 1: get back to the story. So to me, that's an
Speaker 1: insane indoor temperature to each the room. It's not my
Speaker 1: house with him, so I'm trying to deal with it.
Speaker 1: And then the next thing that really was a hiccup
Speaker 1: for me is and it was very polite, very cordial.
Speaker 1: The host of the event brought out a tray of
Speaker 1: gigantic homemade chocolate chip cookies, like the size of your
Speaker 1: hand with all your fingers extended like that big. If
Speaker 1: you gotta I gotta big, maybe you don't. So here's
Speaker 1: the problem, Ryan, So I wouldn't have had an issue
Speaker 1: with I mean, I'm staring these gooey, delicious chocolate chip
Speaker 1: cookies and I can't touch them because I had already
Speaker 1: started my fast. You know, I'm I am a hardcore
Speaker 1: inter minute faster. So once I stopped eating, once I
Speaker 1: put the fork down, I'm done until like the next day.
Speaker 1: And so I had already started my fast and it
Speaker 1: was late at night, and I don't like to you know,
Speaker 1: I don't like to eat late at night in anyway,
Speaker 1: that's just kind of my my missions. And so I'm
Speaker 1: staring at these unbelievably great looking cookies and it reminded
Speaker 1: me of back when I used to go to the ballet.
Speaker 1: And you know, when you go to the ballet, Ryan,
Speaker 1: you can look, but you can't you can't touch, you
Speaker 1: know that kind of like I could look at the cookies,
Speaker 1: but I couldn't touch the And then the other, the other,
Speaker 1: the other hiccup. Here is this thing dragged on and on. Now,
Speaker 1: I think you're a little bit like me, right, although
Speaker 1: you were a wrestler, so maybe you're more of an extrovert.
Speaker 1: But I'm an introvert, and I believe that these events
Speaker 1: should have a cap on them. I believe that. And
Speaker 1: so this went way past the two hour mark, and
Speaker 1: on the way home, I had a conversation and I
Speaker 1: explained with my social butterfly, my significant other. I said, listen,
Speaker 1: these social events should be like Vegas shows or movies.
Speaker 1: You know what Vegas shows and movies are like, Ryan,
Speaker 1: I have a vague idea. Yeah, they're ninety minutes that
Speaker 1: if you talk to anybody who does a Vega show,
Speaker 1: ninety minutes that's the perfect amount of time for a show.
Speaker 1: Not in sixties, not enough. People feel like they haven't
Speaker 1: gotten their money's worth at sixty minutes. Anything over nineties
Speaker 1: a little bit too much. That people want to go
Speaker 1: out and do other things. They don't want to be
Speaker 1: there past ninety minutes. And so I tried to explain this.
Speaker 1: My wife disagrees. She thinks these things should go on
Speaker 1: as long as possible. She's upset that we stopped after
Speaker 1: like two and a half hour. She wanted to keep going.
Speaker 1: And so my belief is about a ninety minute cap
Speaker 1: less is more. That's my strategy on social events. Leave
Speaker 1: them wanting more? Am I wrong? Ryan? Am I? Am?
Speaker 1: I bad to to think that we should cap these
Speaker 1: things at ninety minutes. It depends on the show. Yeah, No,
Speaker 1: this is a family event. Though I'm talking about a
Speaker 1: family event, I'm talking about getting together with people that
Speaker 1: I like that I've seen I haven't seen since a
Speaker 1: lot of them since I was a kid, and I
Speaker 1: haven't been able to see him in years and all that.
Speaker 1: But I'm still like ninety minutes. Ninety minutes is good.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm talking about. Ninety minutes, Okay, I think
Speaker 1: I think you're right. I think you're onto something. Now
Speaker 1: for me, that's too long to be around anybody because
Speaker 1: I just don't like people. So I would go less
Speaker 1: than ninety minutes. But okay, well, I'm okay for ninety
Speaker 1: because my wife will talk sixty and I can do
Speaker 1: the other thirty and then I'm out, so she'll talk
Speaker 1: most of the time. She could talk all ninety minutes.
Speaker 1: But yeah, yeah, if I was by myself, i'd be
Speaker 1: good with about ten minutes and then that's it and
Speaker 1: then get out of here and go to something else.
Speaker 1: That would be my my strategy. But it was like
Speaker 1: it was crazy. It was like one thing. It was
Speaker 1: like a three studies are a Vaudeville comedy act, right,
Speaker 1: which is the three stoogies where you hit they I'm fasting,
Speaker 1: they bring the cookies out, I'm sweating. I think my
Speaker 1: glasses are fogging up. Uh. You know, it's just like
Speaker 1: the whole thing. The whole thing was one thing after
Speaker 1: it was a colossal series of errors that took place there.
Speaker 1: But that was my my big getting out, my big weekend.
Speaker 1: You didn't see anything that was too hot. You just
Speaker 1: said nothing. No, I wanted to be polite. I didn't
Speaker 1: want to be rude and all that. I just wanted
Speaker 1: to be polite and just gonna, you know, not be
Speaker 1: a douche and so I thought I would be a
Speaker 1: douchey thing to say going about it. You can just say,
Speaker 1: do you mind if I live? Because that's great. But
Speaker 1: nobody else complained. I was waiting for somebody else to come,
Speaker 1: and nobody else complained. It only takes one then if
Speaker 1: somebody else will say, you know what, he's onto something,
Speaker 1: So that would have started like the trickle down effect
Speaker 1: and everyone would have started singing the blues about how
Speaker 1: hot it was. Yes, I think so, all right, well
Speaker 1: next time hopefully, well hopefully there won't be next time.
Speaker 1: But where it's eighty three eighty, you know, I'm sure
Speaker 1: by the time we got out of it was probably
Speaker 1: like seven. And I mean, jeez, I can't I can't
Speaker 1: imagine they were warm blooded people. I guess, but I'm
Speaker 1: cold blooded. I like it cold. I like it cold. Absolutely.
Speaker 1: Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller
Speaker 1: Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm PACIFICIC on
Speaker 1: Fox Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio app alright,
Speaker 1: so let's get scientifical. Scientifically, there are science stories that
Speaker 1: I have found around the internet and I thought they
Speaker 1: were interesting. I want to bring them up. So one
Speaker 1: of the great debates that many people have you if
Speaker 1: you're in a relationship with someone, just in a family,
Speaker 1: one of the debates that often happens is over toilet
Speaker 1: paper and how to properly hang toilet paper over or under?
Speaker 1: There are two ways to hang toilet paper. We all
Speaker 1: need toilet paper in the modern first world that we
Speaker 1: live in. So how is the correct way? What is
Speaker 1: the correct way to hang toilet papers? Now? First of all,
Speaker 1: before we I have the answer, by the way, But Ryan,
Speaker 1: are you a over or under a toilet paper? Guy? Over?
Speaker 1: That's that's easy. It's always over, al right, So I
Speaker 1: agree with you. I'm an over person. My wife comes
Speaker 1: from a family of unders under toilet paper. I've also
Speaker 1: dealt with this. I have relatives to believe in the
Speaker 1: under technique with the toilet paper. But big news here,
Speaker 1: we now have confirmation. This goes back to eight eight three.
Speaker 1: You know who Seth Wheeler is? Have you ever heard
Speaker 1: her name? Seth Wheeler? Uh sounds like a radio host.
Speaker 1: It does sound like a DJ, but no. Seth Wheeler
Speaker 1: is one of the most important people in in in
Speaker 1: the history of the world. He patented he was the
Speaker 1: inventor of the toilet rule. And think about that. If
Speaker 1: you live before eight three, you did not have a
Speaker 1: toilet rule. You did not have that. But Seth Wheeler
Speaker 1: his genius, his innovation. He's been dead for many years
Speaker 1: and we still use every restaurant on bar, hotel, you
Speaker 1: name it that has a bathroom, every house, every apartment,
Speaker 1: they have the toilet paper roll. And this guy invented it,
Speaker 1: and he was granted a patent in three And in
Speaker 1: the patent they went back and looked at the patent.
Speaker 1: It reveals the proper way to hang toilet paper on
Speaker 1: the holder is over the top. So if you're hanging
Speaker 1: it underneath, you're doing it wrong. You're doing it wrong.
Speaker 1: You're violating the memory of Seth Wheeler, the inventor of
Speaker 1: the toilet roll. Now do you go cheap on the
Speaker 1: toilet paper or you go all out? Let me let
Speaker 1: me stop you right there. Let me say this is
Speaker 1: one of the I am very frugal, I'm a tight wad,
Speaker 1: I'm a noted tight wad like I'll reuse plastic forks
Speaker 1: like that kind of tight wad occasionally. But when it
Speaker 1: comes to toilet paper, I'm on the upper east side.
Speaker 1: I'm buying the most expensive Sharman I can get, like
Speaker 1: the you know, seven ply whatever. I'm all a that
Speaker 1: I want comfort from my tokas is what I want,
Speaker 1: and so I will spend what Yeah, because that that
Speaker 1: cheap toilet papers sucks terrible. Let me give you some advice.
Speaker 1: Whenever you're going to a job for the first time,
Speaker 1: check what's Check to see what type of toilet paper
Speaker 1: they use, because because if it's cheap, the company's cheap.
Speaker 1: That's a fact. Are you taking a shot at the
Speaker 1: people we work for? Such thing? I said, no, such thing,
Speaker 1: because I have seen the toilet paper that is in
Speaker 1: the building there. It's not particularly good. And here's another thing,
Speaker 1: fun fact. Here's a fun fact for you right on
Speaker 1: this toilet paper. So the story that went back and
Speaker 1: looked at the patent from three experts are warning that
Speaker 1: if you hang the toilet paper underneath, you increase your
Speaker 1: risk of coming into contact with bacteria. It's a health risk.
Speaker 1: So you're risking the health of people when you hang
Speaker 1: the toilet paper roll under instead of over. It's a
Speaker 1: great life lesson right there, that it's a great life lesson. Alright,
Speaker 1: Moving on on, let's get scientifical. So there's a strange
Speaker 1: signal that is coming from the Milky Way. Have you
Speaker 1: seen this story recently? And they're trying to figure out
Speaker 1: what's causing it. This actually goes back to the day
Speaker 1: before my birthday, April, and there's a They've got all
Speaker 1: these ground radio telescopes that are trying to hear aliens
Speaker 1: in space and they never hear anything. This time they did.
Speaker 1: They finally heard something. Holy crap, right, that's big. They
Speaker 1: detected an intense pulse of radio waves. How about that
Speaker 1: radio waves? Do you think there's other DJs out there
Speaker 1: in the cosmos in the Milky Way somewhere now. Unfortunately
Speaker 1: it only lasted some a few milliseconds, but the people
Speaker 1: in that business, the astronomers, were said to be completely
Speaker 1: gobsmacked and astonished, and this is seen as a major discovery.
Speaker 1: It represents the first time ever that what they call
Speaker 1: an f R be a fast radio burst radio waves
Speaker 1: had ever been detected this close to Mother Earth, and
Speaker 1: they estimated that the radio waves came from a location
Speaker 1: in the galaxy thirty They say it's just thirty thousand
Speaker 1: light years from from Earth, so it's within the Milky Way.
Speaker 1: And they're they're still investigating. I don't know what kind
Speaker 1: of investigative work you can do, but that's pretty cool,
Speaker 1: pretty cool. It was like a sports radio show. They
Speaker 1: were doing sports talk, and they shot the radio waves
Speaker 1: up and it came all the way to us. Yeah.
Speaker 1: They're saying stuff like, yeah, Tom Brady's a cheater, stuff
Speaker 1: like that. Yeah, makes sense. You wash the mouth that
Speaker 1: was soap and water there. What he's a fraud, You're
Speaker 1: a phony. I hate Tom Brady. He hates you too. Good. Good,
Speaker 1: go buy some of those TV twelve electrolytes. Thro it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: use it for toilet paper, just like we send radio
Speaker 1: waves out when we broadcast, not on the podcast, but
Speaker 1: on radio. Do you think there's some goblins and aliens
Speaker 1: out there? I don't think they're gobheads. No, no goblins, no,
Speaker 1: no goblins no, no, all right? What if they looked
Speaker 1: just like us? How disappointing would it be if there's
Speaker 1: aliens out far out in deep space and they just
Speaker 1: look like us. They're just like human beings like us
Speaker 1: wouldn't be a bummer. I'm pretty sure, especially because of
Speaker 1: last year. When aliens fly past Earth they roll up
Speaker 1: their windows. I'm pretty sure they don't want to get COVID,
Speaker 1: so they want they want no part of us. So
Speaker 1: like you're like, f this, No, we're not doing it.
Speaker 1: If we still had neander of falls walking the planet,
Speaker 1: they'd be like, they'd be more into the Neanderthals. Is
Speaker 1: that what you're saying? Yeah, I guys, uh, speaking of Neanderthals.
Speaker 1: They say in the science community is the common Cold
Speaker 1: likely predates humans and say say it likely the plague
Speaker 1: affected Neanderthals seven hundred thousand years ago. How the hell
Speaker 1: did they know this? By the way, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't get that, but that's what they claim. They claim.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of maze coods. We you know, a
Speaker 1: lot of weasel words in these science stories or thinks
Speaker 1: like this one. The NASA administrative guy named Bill Nelson
Speaker 1: thinks that's a thought, not a confirmation. Thinks there is
Speaker 1: intelligent life in the universe beyond our own. Of course,
Speaker 1: of course, if you if you ever go to a
Speaker 1: place where there's not a lot of sun poisoning outside
Speaker 1: the city and go out to the desert or the
Speaker 1: ocean far offshore and look to the heavens. The math
Speaker 1: on that, it's just your your mind's gonna explode thinking
Speaker 1: about that. So yeah, come on, it's up with that,
Speaker 1: and we still can't cure the common cold. Nice, Yeah,
Speaker 1: not just a comic. I mean they're like you look
Speaker 1: at cancer and all the all the all the illnesses,
Speaker 1: Like I still I think the answers though, are here,
Speaker 1: they just got we haven't found them. Like I, all
Speaker 1: the all the problems are on Earth, and all the
Speaker 1: answers on Earth. That's been my theory, Like to every illness,
Speaker 1: there's a solution somewhere on the planet. You just have
Speaker 1: to find it. That's the hard part. Well, good news,
Speaker 1: good news from the science community. We will all be
Speaker 1: saved by China. China has announced a plan to launch
Speaker 1: a rocket fleet. The goal of the rocket fleet kind
Speaker 1: of sounds like what President Trump had planned these space fleet,
Speaker 1: you know, space Army whatever it was, space force. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So China taking a page out of Trump's playbook, They're
Speaker 1: gonna come up with the their own military plan. They're
Speaker 1: gonna launch rock a rocket fleet to divert ay a
Speaker 1: apocalyptic asteroid heading towards Earth, so we'll be saved by China.
Speaker 1: Assuming this works, I'm gonna in my life now where
Speaker 1: I wouldn't I wouldn't mind if that asteroid hit Earth.
Speaker 1: You'd be good checking out. I'm good, I'm good. Just
Speaker 1: do it, all right, you know you had enough. I'll
Speaker 1: read it that Jay, catch you next time. Nice, All right,
Speaker 1: let's see. I uh, well, this is bad news for you, Ryan.
Speaker 1: A loneliness can take years off your life. You know,
Speaker 1: are you a lonely guy? Ryan? You do? You don't
Speaker 1: like people, You don't want to hang around with people, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: But when I'm by myself, I'm happy, So it's totally fine.
Speaker 1: All right. Well, according to a report out of Singapore,
Speaker 1: a medical school in Singapore revealed that adults over the
Speaker 1: age of sixties, so you don't have to worry about
Speaker 1: that at least for a few years, say you know,
Speaker 1: many years. Say that. Sometimes are always people that feel,
Speaker 1: you know, lonely. They end up dying up too. That's
Speaker 1: a weasel term. Up to up to off is actually
Speaker 1: like one percent of anyway up to five years sooner.
Speaker 1: Then they're contemporaries who don't feel lonely. So try not
Speaker 1: to be lonely. And if you're happy by yourself, and
Speaker 1: that's fine. I think these happy people, quote unquote happy
Speaker 1: people are upset that I'm happy because I'm by myself
Speaker 1: and I want to be I want to be left
Speaker 1: the hell alone. Well that's true, that's true. Like when
Speaker 1: I was at my fattest, people always said, what do
Speaker 1: you lose weight? You should be more like me, you
Speaker 1: know you, you must not be happy, And I was
Speaker 1: like the happiest I could possibly be, eating as much
Speaker 1: food as I wanted. I loved it. I was a fatass.
Speaker 1: I was morbidly obese, and I loved every meal. I
Speaker 1: didn't feel bad, but I moved around fine. But everyone
Speaker 1: was like, oh, you should really lose some weight. You
Speaker 1: should be more like you know this person or that person.
Speaker 1: They're like, no, I'm perfectly content. I'm perfectly happy. But
Speaker 1: the problem with that when you get older, you can't
Speaker 1: really can't do that, because it does. That's just that's
Speaker 1: just an old wives tale, you think. So, have you
Speaker 1: ever gone to a retirement home and seeing fat people?
Speaker 1: There aren't many there, There aren't or tall people for
Speaker 1: that matter. That's the other thing. I'm screwed. Then, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm screwed too. So how tall you? Um, I'm about
Speaker 1: I'm about that same hight too, So yeah, we're we're screwed,
Speaker 1: all right. A new report, let's get to this is
Speaker 1: the pop quiz portion. We'll do a few pop quiz
Speaker 1: questions and then we'll put the baby to bed. So
Speaker 1: a new report says that you are more likely to
Speaker 1: give this item as a gift than you are to
Speaker 1: ever buy this item for yourself. There's something you would
Speaker 1: never buy, but you would give someone else as a gift.
Speaker 1: What do you think this is? Uh m, condoms? Condoms?
Speaker 1: All right? Wow boy, wow, Okay, you ever given condoms
Speaker 1: to someone? There? Maybe a date? No? Uh the The
Speaker 1: answer is a blender. Blender. I'm not I'm not a
Speaker 1: big blender guy. I like the blender box, but I'm
Speaker 1: not a big blender guy. So yeah, I've never bought
Speaker 1: a blender. I think I don't know if I got
Speaker 1: one when I got married. That sounds like a gift
Speaker 1: you'd give someone who gets married, buy him a blender.
Speaker 1: That's a marriage gift. Yeah, yeah, and then it sits
Speaker 1: in a box in a cabinet for thirty years, and
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, we had a blender. All right. This
Speaker 1: is the first thing that most people think about every
Speaker 1: single day. Everything, the first thing you think about every day.
Speaker 1: What is it? Why do I have to go to work? No? Sleep? No,
Speaker 1: it's sleep. It's like, why can't I go back to sleep?
Speaker 1: Can I? You hate your job, don't you? No? No,
Speaker 1: I hate you hate working? Come on, that's not true.
Speaker 1: This is a great place to work. I'm very happy here.
Speaker 1: It would be a better place if they paid you
Speaker 1: more money. I cannot confirm or deny those comments. If
Speaker 1: they gave you more time off, I mean more money.
Speaker 1: A little bump, a little bumpty bump, you know, all right.
Speaker 1: A new survey asked people what they missed the most
Speaker 1: while working from from home. This was the most common answer,
Speaker 1: what is it? Oh? I was never working from home,
Speaker 1: so I couldn't tell you I was always here. Now,
Speaker 1: you don't need to brag. You don't need to what's
Speaker 1: not bragging? I'm mad? You're mad. Well, you happen to
Speaker 1: choose a job that you cannot do. At least they
Speaker 1: won't they won't spend the thousands of dollars on the
Speaker 1: equipment that is required for you to do it from home.
Speaker 1: So just think of the Hoi POLOI think of the Hoiah.
Speaker 1: I know you could have been in the empty hallways
Speaker 1: of fs are. Yes, no one's right. But what do
Speaker 1: you what do you think of? Oh? Wow, I don't know.
Speaker 1: All right, now, this is actually good because it's good
Speaker 1: for people like us that work in this business. According
Speaker 1: to the survey, the thing that people missed most while
Speaker 1: working from home was listening to the radio on their commute.
Speaker 1: Listening to radio and people realize, you can listen to
Speaker 1: the radio at home. I know nobody does that, but
Speaker 1: you can. You can listen at home. You don't have
Speaker 1: to listen in the car. We have a lot of
Speaker 1: people that listen to the podcast that aren't in the car.
Speaker 1: I don't think a lot of people listen to the
Speaker 1: radio at home. I think they're usually watching TV or
Speaker 1: getting drunk. I disagree, Ryan, I believe in my head
Speaker 1: it's like the early days of radio, and people sit
Speaker 1: around in their nice chairs and they focus at the
Speaker 1: magic radio box and just listen everything going on. Yeah, now,
Speaker 1: but we we actually get a lot of people. I
Speaker 1: get email from people that have insomnia and they're trying
Speaker 1: to sleep and they'll turn the radio on. It's like
Speaker 1: a little background noise and listen to the show while
Speaker 1: they're in bed and they can't sleep. And so we
Speaker 1: do have some of those people, but I would obviously
Speaker 1: agree that most of our listeners are live listening audiences
Speaker 1: like truck drivers, security guards, people working in factories, doughnut shops,
Speaker 1: you know whatever. Police criminals, both sides. We got everybody
Speaker 1: criminals we do. I've had I've had people called the
Speaker 1: little shady there run little shady cats out there listen
Speaker 1: to the sports stock radio. Heck, heck. We had a
Speaker 1: listener half point that's currently in jail, and I got
Speaker 1: sent her rap sheet and it's like a war in peace.
Speaker 1: It just keeps going on and it's like a phone book.
Speaker 1: It's just oh my goodness, Holy she's had a busy
Speaker 1: life there running from the law. All right, you will
Speaker 1: use about sixteen less water if you use this product.
Speaker 1: I know you're very concerned about your water consumption, Ryan,
Speaker 1: you got a lot of time. If you use less,
Speaker 1: you'll use no listen close, You'll you'll use about sixteen
Speaker 1: percent less water if you use this particular product. Uh, salt,
Speaker 1: I don't know salt. Let's get salty. No, it's foaming soap.
Speaker 1: Foaming soap. Who the hell cares do I? I don't
Speaker 1: am I bad for saying I don't really care. I
Speaker 1: don't mind foaming soap. I'm okay with foaming soap, but
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna get worked up over. Uh. Let's see,
Speaker 1: Americans spend nearly two billion dollars a year to fight
Speaker 1: this something that most of us have, some of us
Speaker 1: worse than others. Hemorrhoids. Hemorrhoids. Oh boy, you ever had hemorrhoids?
Speaker 1: Oh no, thank god, I've I've had them. Boy, that's
Speaker 1: that's something to look forward to. Holy crap. Uh No.
Speaker 1: The answer is bad breath. Uh yeah. Most people don't
Speaker 1: realize they have bad breath. It's other people pointing out
Speaker 1: they have bad Yeah. You never really smell your own breath.
Speaker 1: You know, it's weird you really have to have horrifically
Speaker 1: bad breath, or for that matter, like a lot of
Speaker 1: people don't realize they have body odor like b o. Right.
Speaker 1: They don't understand that because you're kind of used to
Speaker 1: your own smell. Yeah, it's a problem. Two billion a
Speaker 1: year to fight bad breath. Just brush your teeth people,
Speaker 1: it's you know, it's not that hard. Brush your teeth,
Speaker 1: mouth wash, but time. That's what you gotta do. Flaws
Speaker 1: in there, you know. Be sure to catch live editions
Speaker 1: of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern
Speaker 1: eleven pm Pacific. What's up everyone, It's me three times
Speaker 1: NFL All Pro Shawn Marine and I have a new
Speaker 1: sports podcast called The lights Out Podcast with Sean Marine.
Speaker 1: This podcast especial to me is I get a chance
Speaker 1: to talk to some of the best we've ever done
Speaker 1: it on the field or the trap. So whether it's
Speaker 1: talking to a Super Bowl champion or a NASCAR Cup
Speaker 1: Series champion, the lights Out Podcast will bring it to
Speaker 1: you the only way I know how to. I'm giving
Speaker 1: you the best insight for the best we've ever done it.
Speaker 1: Listen to lights Out with Shawn Mari or the I
Speaker 1: Heart Radio app or wherever you get your podcast. About
Speaker 1: six people say this happens to them nearly every day.
Speaker 1: It involves their phone and email. What is it? They
Speaker 1: get a lot of spam? Look at you, look at you.
Speaker 1: You gotta write good job, but yes, get a spam call,
Speaker 1: spam text, or email. I got a spam call at
Speaker 1: least three or four times a week. Yeah, it's terrible.
Speaker 1: I actually recently because I've I'm living in a halfway
Speaker 1: house right now. I'm in the temporary home before I
Speaker 1: move again in August. And so just I sold a
Speaker 1: house for the first time ever. I never sold a house.
Speaker 1: And so I sold the house. And you have to
Speaker 1: fill out all his paperwork and all that, and a
Speaker 1: lot of that stuff ends up getting shipped around, a
Speaker 1: lot of your personal information. So as a result, I
Speaker 1: have been inundated over the last couple of weeks with
Speaker 1: spam calls, and I every time I block them, it
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. They it's like whack a mole. You block one, three,
Speaker 1: more pop up. It's NonStop. I don't know how they
Speaker 1: do it. They like figure out that, oh, this person's
Speaker 1: blocked this number that's called from a different number. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: and they have have what I've heard is they have
Speaker 1: endless numbers because it's all these numbers just generated digitally.
Speaker 1: So it's like I have a computer that just generates
Speaker 1: different numbers to call from. So you literally and figuratively
Speaker 1: cannot win a block. The block the you know what,
Speaker 1: Block the trolls, block the spammers. You can't do it.
Speaker 1: You can't win, because they'll just pop up with a
Speaker 1: new number five minutes later. Sometimes when on board, I'll
Speaker 1: answer and almost a mess with them, you know, on
Speaker 1: the ones. I have you gotten the ones? The ones
Speaker 1: I've been getting a lot lately. Is your car warranty?
Speaker 1: It's coming up here on your you need to call
Speaker 1: U back to extend your warranty. I was coming to work,
Speaker 1: I was going on the elevator and I kid you
Speaker 1: not like I guess, like somewhet somehow, like they got
Speaker 1: into the phone system and that same message about renewing
Speaker 1: your car warranty was playing in the elevator. Almost lost
Speaker 1: my freaking mind. Wow, really, yes, I was like, are
Speaker 1: you kidding me? In the elevator? What's up with? Mankind
Speaker 1: of you got stuff playing in the elevator? Look at you, man,
Speaker 1: you got the big elevator, like shiny mansion, you big
Speaker 1: big condo building. And no, no, not at all. No, no, okay,
Speaker 1: I wish you wish all right? Uh you're dating anybody?
Speaker 1: By the way, new survey says this is the riskiest
Speaker 1: food to order on a first date. Uh taco bell
Speaker 1: Uh No, oysters. I don't eat oysters. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Do you ever eat oysters? Eat oyster? Game? No? Why
Speaker 1: would you order that on the first date unless you
Speaker 1: think you're gonna get some I don't know. I don't know, man,
Speaker 1: I'm not an oyster guy. I don't like seafood. I
Speaker 1: don't really don't like food. I don't like seafood, lobster
Speaker 1: crab no. No, I liveally. I live a meat and
Speaker 1: chicken based diet. That's pretty much you get some gumbo
Speaker 1: in your life. Man, I got no gumbo. I got
Speaker 1: no gumbo at all. All Right, that will do it.
Speaker 1: I believe we're good. Yes, I think we're good. On
Speaker 1: the on the Saturday podcast. And Ryan, you want to
Speaker 1: promote your Twitter if people want to follow you on Twitter?
Speaker 1: Rybin on Twitter and Ryan McBain on Twitch. Now are now.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say the people that listen to this
Speaker 1: are bad at spelling, but you want to spell that
Speaker 1: last name just in case they are? Y A N
Speaker 1: M C B A I N very simple, very very
Speaker 1: simp Yeah. There are a couple of days, a couple
Speaker 1: of different ways to spell Ryan. Actually, there are a
Speaker 1: couple different ways, but anyway, let'sten have a great Saturday.
Speaker 1: We'll be back with the mail Bag podcast on Sunday
Speaker 1: and we'll catch you then