1 00:00:02,560 --> 00:00:04,680 Speaker 1: Are you ready to unpack some things today? 2 00:00:04,760 --> 00:00:08,280 Speaker 2: So I guess so, as long as it's not my 3 00:00:08,280 --> 00:00:09,039 Speaker 2: my suitcase. 4 00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:11,200 Speaker 1: I was really wondering where you were about to go 5 00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:14,560 Speaker 1: with that, the way that you your tone of voice switched. 6 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:16,000 Speaker 1: I was like, where is he about to take? 7 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:19,760 Speaker 2: Is going to make a confession now, I'm the truth 8 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:22,160 Speaker 2: is I'm terrible about unpacking my suitcase. 9 00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:25,160 Speaker 1: Wait wait, so you're saying, oh, I said, as long 10 00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:25,640 Speaker 1: as it's. 11 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:27,360 Speaker 2: Not my suitcase. I'm just really bad about it. I 12 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:32,159 Speaker 2: just like a month. Yeah, yeah, I'm really bad at it. 13 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:34,120 Speaker 1: There's two types of people in this world, for sure, 14 00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:36,519 Speaker 1: And we've talked about this as our friend Ryan, he 15 00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:39,159 Speaker 1: is like the guy that walks in the door and 16 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:42,760 Speaker 1: immediately unpacks his suitcase and does the laundry and all 17 00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:45,360 Speaker 1: the things. I have the most respect for people like that. 18 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:48,440 Speaker 1: I think that is such a wonderful characteristic. I, however, 19 00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:50,160 Speaker 1: am completely the opposite. 20 00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:53,720 Speaker 2: But me too, I like will use it, you know, 21 00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:55,560 Speaker 2: I'll pull the things out of it that I haven't 22 00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:58,560 Speaker 2: worn before. I'll like pull close out of my drawer. 23 00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:01,640 Speaker 2: But then I also, like I'm guilty of like putting 24 00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:05,280 Speaker 2: clean clothes that are unfolded in the suitcase and. 25 00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:07,959 Speaker 1: Closing the suitcase. No, I one hundred percent do the 26 00:01:07,959 --> 00:01:10,119 Speaker 1: same thing because sometimes, like if you have someone come 27 00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:13,240 Speaker 1: into your house and you haven't unpacked your suitcase, that 28 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:15,240 Speaker 1: doesn't mean I'm going to unpack the suitcase. It means 29 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:18,240 Speaker 1: I'll probably close the suitcase or put more stuff in 30 00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:20,360 Speaker 1: the suitcase, close the suitcase and go put it upstairs 31 00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:20,960 Speaker 1: in my closet. 32 00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:24,280 Speaker 2: And then you'd be like, where is that shirt? 33 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:27,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, oh gosh. I'll think things are lost or missing 34 00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:29,399 Speaker 1: for months, and then I actually go on another trip 35 00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:31,560 Speaker 1: and I realize, oh, I never unpacked. 36 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:34,560 Speaker 2: My suitcase, and it's like a nice find. At that point, 37 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:35,640 Speaker 2: you're like sweet. 38 00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:38,039 Speaker 1: Yeah. There also comes a little bit of shame for 39 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:41,240 Speaker 1: me because I hear Ryan's voice being like, you're that person, 40 00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:44,399 Speaker 1: and I am full I will admit it, full force. 41 00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:46,600 Speaker 2: I am that person the person that folds all my 42 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:48,680 Speaker 2: laundry to and just leaves it on my kitchen counter 43 00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:50,640 Speaker 2: until it's not there anymore. 44 00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:52,520 Speaker 1: The worst thing that ever happened to me was moving 45 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:54,920 Speaker 1: into a house that had a like cabinet in my 46 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:59,760 Speaker 1: laundry room because there's like a countertop, so it's always 47 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:01,920 Speaker 1: and clothes I never put close away anymore. 48 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:04,480 Speaker 2: The beauty is you and I both live alone, so 49 00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:05,600 Speaker 2: no one can bitch. 50 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:09,480 Speaker 1: About it for now. Yes, well we're here today. I 51 00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:11,640 Speaker 1: mean that whole topic is a little bit triggering to me, 52 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:14,239 Speaker 1: so that's that's perfect. Well, we always do the follow 53 00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:16,680 Speaker 1: up of Wednesday, right, And so I had Michelle Chelle 54 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:19,880 Speaker 1: font on if you guys haven't listened to that podcast. 55 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:22,240 Speaker 1: I loved talking to her. Could you tell Chip like 56 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:26,959 Speaker 1: I really enjoyed she Oh was I shit, I don't 57 00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:29,760 Speaker 1: even listen back, but I just I geek out. I 58 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:32,080 Speaker 1: felt like we saw things through the same lens, and 59 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:35,480 Speaker 1: we're very in line. And I'm such a nerd about 60 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:40,080 Speaker 1: psychology and astrology and healing and all those things, and 61 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:42,360 Speaker 1: she and I were just very much in line with 62 00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:45,480 Speaker 1: our thinking. So we kept getting so excited, both of 63 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,960 Speaker 1: us because she would say something and I would go, 64 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:49,960 Speaker 1: that's what I think, or then I would. 65 00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:52,520 Speaker 2: Put in back, Yeah, you were like, are we best friends? No? 66 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:55,400 Speaker 1: I literally was like, are we supposed to be best friends? 67 00:02:56,240 --> 00:02:58,040 Speaker 2: Style? 68 00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:01,280 Speaker 1: Well, she used to live here, so that was so weird, 69 00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:05,480 Speaker 1: But no, we exchange numbers like we genuinely really really bonded. 70 00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:09,320 Speaker 1: So anyway, that podcast is great because she is so 71 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:13,440 Speaker 1: knowledgeable and we did have so much in common to 72 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:18,160 Speaker 1: just shoot the shit about how difficult sometimes it is 73 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:21,200 Speaker 1: to live in our adult selves. And she's written this 74 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:23,959 Speaker 1: book it's called The Adult Chair, and it's about all 75 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:28,080 Speaker 1: about like how to move into your chair, which is 76 00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:31,000 Speaker 1: a therapy term. They talk about having a child chair, 77 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:34,280 Speaker 1: a teenager chair, and your adult chair, and so she 78 00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:37,400 Speaker 1: wants everyone to move obviously into their adult chair. But 79 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:40,960 Speaker 1: it's really interesting because most of us, until you really 80 00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:44,200 Speaker 1: start addressing some of the stuff that's happened, are happening 81 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:46,520 Speaker 1: inside of you. Most of us are operating from either 82 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:53,000 Speaker 1: a child or a teenager chair. Like our reactions, our responses, 83 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:55,480 Speaker 1: the way that we respond to things, the things that 84 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:58,440 Speaker 1: we think we're capable of, our belief systems, our narratives 85 00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:02,520 Speaker 1: are mostly coming from a stunted place until their address. 86 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:05,160 Speaker 1: That's just like humans, you know. And she does a 87 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:07,280 Speaker 1: way better job of explaining all that than I did. 88 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:10,360 Speaker 1: So go listen to that podcast, But you actually listen 89 00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:13,200 Speaker 1: this morning, and you were texting me about some of 90 00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:16,120 Speaker 1: the stuff, saying, oh my god, I make fun of 91 00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:18,280 Speaker 1: the word triggers so bad, and I just learned just 92 00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:21,560 Speaker 1: so much about triggers. So I felt like you should 93 00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:24,359 Speaker 1: tell the listeners some of your experience in listening to 94 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:26,960 Speaker 1: that podcast, because yeah, I am such a nerd with 95 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,080 Speaker 1: this stuff and I do talk about it so much, 96 00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:31,680 Speaker 1: and I have like been in the therapy world for 97 00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:33,920 Speaker 1: so long that I think sometimes the stuff I'm talking 98 00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:35,719 Speaker 1: about or the way I'm talking about it is probably 99 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:38,080 Speaker 1: not as relatable as what you were saying to me, 100 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:40,360 Speaker 1: right right, I want the listeners to have that experience 101 00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:40,719 Speaker 1: as well. 102 00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:43,240 Speaker 2: One of the first things that I noticed was that 103 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:46,800 Speaker 2: teen or adolescent chair goes up to like twenty four, 104 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:50,240 Speaker 2: which you know, it's funny because the older I get, 105 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:54,200 Speaker 2: the younger young people seem to me. And I don't 106 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:57,200 Speaker 2: think that's unique to me. I think that's just getting older. 107 00:04:57,600 --> 00:04:59,880 Speaker 2: But I you know, I look at college kids now today, 108 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:03,960 Speaker 2: I'm like, they're children, Like who letting me go live 109 00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:04,799 Speaker 2: by myself? 110 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:05,760 Speaker 1: You know, I can't. 111 00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:09,159 Speaker 2: It's just blows my mind. But in those moments when 112 00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:11,880 Speaker 2: you are eighteen to twenty four years old, like you 113 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:15,560 Speaker 2: feel like you've grown up, and the truth is is 114 00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:19,960 Speaker 2: like you're really not, like you're still developing, but you're 115 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:22,840 Speaker 2: also going through like really major things in your life. 116 00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:25,560 Speaker 2: And for me, I was moving a million miles a minute. 117 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:28,800 Speaker 2: I don't think that I was even realizing any of 118 00:05:28,839 --> 00:05:31,120 Speaker 2: the baggage that I was picking up along the way. 119 00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:34,880 Speaker 2: And now that I'm almost fifty years old, I'm a 120 00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:39,040 Speaker 2: lot more settled into who I am. So I don't 121 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:41,720 Speaker 2: know that there's like necessarily like new traumas that are 122 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:44,359 Speaker 2: happening to me. But I also think too, it's like 123 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:48,640 Speaker 2: when you're looking at those like developmental years, it makes 124 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:51,479 Speaker 2: sense that by the time you're double that like you're 125 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:54,800 Speaker 2: gonna be a little bit more settled just because your 126 00:05:54,839 --> 00:05:57,920 Speaker 2: life has you know, you've developed into who you are 127 00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:00,360 Speaker 2: and you have to at some point either like deal 128 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:03,039 Speaker 2: with the problems or just accept who you are and 129 00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:05,280 Speaker 2: be happy in your skin. Whatever. To me, I was 130 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:08,200 Speaker 2: laughing because I make fun of you for saying things 131 00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:12,960 Speaker 2: trigger you, And then I was listening to the importance 132 00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:17,920 Speaker 2: of recognizing your triggers because they're not about the trigger. 133 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:21,600 Speaker 2: They're about what is being triggered within you. It's not 134 00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:23,760 Speaker 2: that like what has triggered you in the moment, it's 135 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:25,880 Speaker 2: about what it makes you that trigger makes you feel 136 00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:27,480 Speaker 2: like Now it doesn't even sound like a word upset 137 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:30,919 Speaker 2: many times, and that it actually isn't about the moment, 138 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:35,360 Speaker 2: it's about your past and the line from then till now. 139 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:37,880 Speaker 2: And it made me think like, well, what are some 140 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:40,920 Speaker 2: of my triggers. I don't know that I have any triggers, 141 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:43,560 Speaker 2: like cause I grew up in a house that we 142 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:45,600 Speaker 2: didn't talk about how we were feeling. We didn't talk 143 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:49,279 Speaker 2: about emotions, we didn't talk about personal growth. I saw 144 00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:52,479 Speaker 2: my father cry like twice, but I was a cry baby. 145 00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:54,440 Speaker 2: Like I cried all the time when I was younger. 146 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:58,560 Speaker 2: It was super sensitive. But I think that I look 147 00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:01,480 Speaker 2: back and I'm like, wait a minute, So maybe not 148 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:06,440 Speaker 2: having triggers is one of my triggers because I think 149 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:10,080 Speaker 2: I pushed myself down when I started to recognize myself 150 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:12,840 Speaker 2: as gay at a young age and not wanting to 151 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:15,920 Speaker 2: be discovered. So it was like that really emotional kid 152 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:18,440 Speaker 2: that was like super sensitive and willing to cry and 153 00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:22,200 Speaker 2: loved puppies and all the things. I couldn't let that 154 00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:26,360 Speaker 2: person show because it was a sign. And to me, 155 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:29,280 Speaker 2: listening to this was like a little bit triggering because 156 00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:34,080 Speaker 2: it made me recognize the work that I haven't done, 157 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:36,760 Speaker 2: you know, She talked about pillars and I wrote them 158 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:41,160 Speaker 2: down and I'm being very unprepared. Oh, she talked about 159 00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:44,280 Speaker 2: these the pillars. Do you wanted to describe the pillars 160 00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:48,000 Speaker 2: and like where they fit in this whole conversation. 161 00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:51,680 Speaker 1: And oh, the pillars are basically her version of how 162 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:54,400 Speaker 1: to get to your adult chair. So in the book, 163 00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:57,240 Speaker 1: I think she breaks down these different these five different 164 00:07:57,320 --> 00:08:01,160 Speaker 1: steps to get to your home the adult self, and 165 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:04,640 Speaker 1: they're really these like building blocks, right, So we discussed 166 00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:08,880 Speaker 1: a lot of those on the podcast recorded this. I 167 00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:11,520 Speaker 1: just wanted you took these notes. 168 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:14,200 Speaker 2: So the first pilor is to own your own reality 169 00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:17,160 Speaker 2: happening in your life so that you can address it. So, 170 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:20,040 Speaker 2: I mean, I think that is some of this stuff 171 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:23,040 Speaker 2: sounds so obvious. So to those of you that it 172 00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:26,000 Speaker 2: is obvious to, I apologize. But for me, it like 173 00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:29,800 Speaker 2: sort of hit home and it's like thinking that I 174 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:33,200 Speaker 2: didn't have any triggers. It's an obvious indicator that I 175 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:37,760 Speaker 2: haven't really owned my reality because we all have some 176 00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:40,360 Speaker 2: sort of trauma that we're dealing with. Piller number two 177 00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:43,280 Speaker 2: was to practice self compassion and to create a loving 178 00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:45,679 Speaker 2: voice for yourself, and she recommended like that voice can 179 00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:48,000 Speaker 2: be anything. It can be what you think your dog 180 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:49,720 Speaker 2: sounds like, or it could be Bradley Cooper. I think 181 00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:52,680 Speaker 2: was the example that she's, Yeah, so you know when 182 00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:55,240 Speaker 2: you are feeling these things, that you can talk to 183 00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:57,880 Speaker 2: yourself in a way that's loving instead of beating yourself 184 00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:00,840 Speaker 2: up and making the issues worse, and that helps you evolve. 185 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:03,840 Speaker 2: Number three was to feel your emotions, and she said, 186 00:09:03,920 --> 00:09:07,800 Speaker 2: even if you don't know what the emotion is, what 187 00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:11,880 Speaker 2: it's called, like, recognize the feeling. Yeah, And you know, 188 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:14,400 Speaker 2: then once you've recognized the feeling, I think then you 189 00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:16,880 Speaker 2: can go discover what it is and what's causing it 190 00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:19,160 Speaker 2: and blah blah blah. And then number four was own 191 00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:21,839 Speaker 2: your triggers. And I was like, well, what what are 192 00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:25,000 Speaker 2: my triggers? I don't have any triggers like and Kelly 193 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:27,320 Speaker 2: and I were talking before we started recording, and one 194 00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:30,320 Speaker 2: of my triggers is I don't like to show up 195 00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:34,920 Speaker 2: to things by myself. It makes me feel unwanted, disliked, 196 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:37,240 Speaker 2: which is funny. She like laughed. She was like, Oh 197 00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:39,160 Speaker 2: my god, of all of my friends like that really 198 00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:42,600 Speaker 2: do it so much that I would have never thought 199 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:44,440 Speaker 2: that was a trigger for you, and I guess in 200 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:47,200 Speaker 2: some ways, it's like the fact that I am able 201 00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:50,840 Speaker 2: to peel myself off the couch and just do it 202 00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:55,479 Speaker 2: is me dealing with it, you know, like without recognizing 203 00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:57,720 Speaker 2: that I've accepted that reality. I mean, look, I am single. 204 00:09:57,760 --> 00:09:59,920 Speaker 2: It's it's very likely that I'm going to have to 205 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,520 Speaker 2: show up places by myself. But I think it was 206 00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:04,760 Speaker 2: growing up in a small town. I was often with 207 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:06,920 Speaker 2: groups of people that were my friends, but they were 208 00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:09,520 Speaker 2: more friends of circumstance because we were to the same church, 209 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:11,200 Speaker 2: or we went to the same school, or our parents 210 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:13,520 Speaker 2: were friends or and I'm still friends with a lot 211 00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:16,079 Speaker 2: of them, but like I wouldn't have necessarily chosen them 212 00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:19,880 Speaker 2: as my friends, and I had to hide things. So 213 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:22,280 Speaker 2: it was like I was always worried about showing up, 214 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:26,920 Speaker 2: and I probably wasn't authentically showing up because I was 215 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:29,920 Speaker 2: worried about being liked or not or whatever. It was. 216 00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:33,560 Speaker 2: So showing up places alone is really triggering for me. 217 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:37,200 Speaker 2: And then I said, the irony is is I do 218 00:10:37,559 --> 00:10:42,720 Speaker 2: crazy shit like sign up for improv class without anything yourself. Yeah, yeah, 219 00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:46,479 Speaker 2: Like I just did a comedy writing class by myself, 220 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:51,360 Speaker 2: and like I sort of thrive in those sort of environments, 221 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:55,400 Speaker 2: but it is really triggering. Go ahead, well, I was 222 00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:58,600 Speaker 2: just gonna say, I mean, it had never occurred to me, 223 00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:01,320 Speaker 2: Like maybe that is me working through something like that 224 00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:05,240 Speaker 2: without having the compassionate voice that I needed to be 225 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:06,880 Speaker 2: like you can do this. 226 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:09,800 Speaker 1: Or even the awareness of what was happening, Like I think, 227 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:12,120 Speaker 1: what's really interesting. I have two things I wanted to 228 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:22,679 Speaker 1: kind of point out. You said this when we were 229 00:11:22,679 --> 00:11:24,240 Speaker 1: on the phone. You're like, I think I just sort 230 00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:27,120 Speaker 1: of feel shame that I like, I don't know what 231 00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:30,080 Speaker 1: my triggers are yet. And I thought that was such 232 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:33,199 Speaker 1: a good point that you made, because that is what 233 00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:36,400 Speaker 1: we do to ourselves, right. It's like you immediately assume 234 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:40,040 Speaker 1: that everyone else, like you said it just then you go, well, 235 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:42,640 Speaker 1: if this is like really dumb to everyone, like this 236 00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:45,880 Speaker 1: is very obvious, it just wasn't to me. So immediately 237 00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:49,200 Speaker 1: you were kind of like wanting to make sure that 238 00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:52,840 Speaker 1: everyone else knew, like you said to everyone else, like 239 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:56,240 Speaker 1: I realize I'm kind of behind or something. The reality 240 00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:58,560 Speaker 1: is is like you're not. You're exactly on time. We 241 00:11:58,679 --> 00:12:02,280 Speaker 1: always all are, like you show up when you're supposed 242 00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:04,600 Speaker 1: to get it, and when that's supposed to be shown 243 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:07,600 Speaker 1: to you or it's not. You show up, you see 244 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:09,800 Speaker 1: it when you're supposed to. And like we're all on 245 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:12,880 Speaker 1: different journeys, like I always say, and so some people's 246 00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:15,120 Speaker 1: shit hits the fan at a different time, like mine 247 00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:18,440 Speaker 1: hit really early. But that doesn't mean that like I've 248 00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:21,040 Speaker 1: gotten it all figured out, or that I'm not constantly 249 00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:24,040 Speaker 1: kind of bumping up against these same kind of things. 250 00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:27,720 Speaker 1: It's a lifelong journey. So like just because it looks 251 00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:30,640 Speaker 1: different than mine or someone else's or whatever, like that 252 00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:34,480 Speaker 1: doesn't mean that you're behind or you're doing it wrong 253 00:12:34,679 --> 00:12:38,320 Speaker 1: or you've missed it. Like you're here now, you're saying it, 254 00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:41,480 Speaker 1: you're doing it, you're realizing it, Like that's doing the work. 255 00:12:41,559 --> 00:12:43,480 Speaker 1: That's what that means, you know. And I think we 256 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:46,600 Speaker 1: just make up that it's supposed to be this perfect 257 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:50,480 Speaker 1: journey and you're supposed to have it figured out and 258 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:54,040 Speaker 1: everyone else has it figured out, and that's just not true. 259 00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:57,200 Speaker 1: That's not the way this looks. And so first of all, 260 00:12:57,240 --> 00:12:59,400 Speaker 1: that is one piece of shame, like you could take off, 261 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:01,560 Speaker 1: because I think a lot of people probably resonate with 262 00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:05,600 Speaker 1: exactly what you just said, and it can feel overwhelming 263 00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:08,240 Speaker 1: when you're learning all these new words or like it's 264 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:10,440 Speaker 1: being thrown at you all at once and you're like, wait, 265 00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:12,520 Speaker 1: I don't even know the answer, but you're not supposed 266 00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:15,199 Speaker 1: to yet. Like what happened to you today was you 267 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:19,000 Speaker 1: got this new awareness of what a trigger even is 268 00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:21,719 Speaker 1: really because I don't know that you we like make 269 00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:24,359 Speaker 1: fun of that word because it is such a fucking buzzword. 270 00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:25,120 Speaker 1: It's everywhere. 271 00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:27,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I feel like it's just probably overused, 272 00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:28,320 Speaker 2: it is. 273 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:31,320 Speaker 1: It's kind of annoying that certain terms because they are useful, 274 00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:35,240 Speaker 1: they're helpful, so it's it's it's such a I don't know, 275 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:37,640 Speaker 1: a hate that stuff gets so overdone on social media 276 00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:39,000 Speaker 1: that we kind of make fun of it because it 277 00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:42,120 Speaker 1: is a very valuable word in your own like self 278 00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:44,640 Speaker 1: journey of awareness and healing and whatever you want to 279 00:13:44,679 --> 00:13:47,280 Speaker 1: call it. But yeah, so like it came to you today, 280 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:50,120 Speaker 1: And what's probably gonna happen now if I had to guess, 281 00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:54,560 Speaker 1: is you'll be going about life and something will happen 282 00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:58,240 Speaker 1: and instead of passing through it like you might have before, 283 00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:01,760 Speaker 1: it'll hit you, Oh, oh, this is that thing. I'm 284 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:04,839 Speaker 1: being triggered right now, Like it'll and then you'll kind 285 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:07,880 Speaker 1: of maybe be able to start connecting dots and like 286 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:10,280 Speaker 1: it just starts to happen like that, and then you'll 287 00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:13,680 Speaker 1: keep going in life and it'll happen faster, like you'll 288 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:16,280 Speaker 1: notice something quicker, or you'll connect the dots quicker of 289 00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:18,760 Speaker 1: what the feeling is with that trigger, and it just 290 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:21,160 Speaker 1: gets easier to move through it or you do it 291 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:23,640 Speaker 1: more quickly, and like that is what a healing journey 292 00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:26,680 Speaker 1: looks like. It doesn't mean you never get triggered. You've 293 00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:29,640 Speaker 1: passed that test and you can put it behind you. 294 00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:31,920 Speaker 1: You don't have to like you know all the answers, 295 00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:35,320 Speaker 1: you realize all your triggers or whatever you like. That's 296 00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:38,000 Speaker 1: just not how it works. We're always on this journey 297 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:41,880 Speaker 1: of learning more, uncovering more, peeling back the layers of 298 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:44,880 Speaker 1: an onion. That's another therapy term that's ever used, but 299 00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:47,000 Speaker 1: it is helpful think about that way. So anyway, I'm 300 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:50,000 Speaker 1: just glad that you're talking about it, because I really 301 00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:53,280 Speaker 1: think more people than you know probably resonate with that, 302 00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:55,920 Speaker 1: and there is no shame in that, Like there's such 303 00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:59,600 Speaker 1: a beautiful thing for me to witness this, Like like 304 00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:01,440 Speaker 1: I said, I've known you so long, I would have 305 00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:03,600 Speaker 1: never known that that was a hard moment for you. 306 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,880 Speaker 1: I literally was shocked. Was I not? I was like, yeah, totally, 307 00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:10,440 Speaker 1: because I would have never thought that with you. But 308 00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:13,000 Speaker 1: the thing that's cool is that you do still do 309 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:16,520 Speaker 1: it because there's a part of you that loves experiences 310 00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:18,960 Speaker 1: and going out and doing activities. You don't let it 311 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:22,400 Speaker 1: hold you back. The trigger is what is it making 312 00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:25,240 Speaker 1: you feel? And where is that actually coming from? Because 313 00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:27,360 Speaker 1: no one at that party is looking at you thinking 314 00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:30,480 Speaker 1: look at that guy, or I can't believe Chip showed 315 00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:32,880 Speaker 1: up alone, what is he thinking? 316 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:35,720 Speaker 2: You know, well, I also think too, And you know, 317 00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:38,800 Speaker 2: reading about triggers today is that I think it's something 318 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:42,000 Speaker 2: important that had never occurred to me as well, is 319 00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:45,920 Speaker 2: that if there is a person that is triggering you, 320 00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:48,360 Speaker 2: that does something that triggers you, it's not. 321 00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:51,720 Speaker 1: About that, No, but we like that it's so much easier 322 00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:52,480 Speaker 1: to make it about. 323 00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:56,320 Speaker 2: That because and when I think about it in terms 324 00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:59,640 Speaker 2: of me walking into a party by myself or something like, 325 00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:03,040 Speaker 2: I'm putting all that on other people, like what what 326 00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:06,200 Speaker 2: are they gonna think? Yeah, it has nothing they're not. 327 00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:11,640 Speaker 2: They're just not just having fun here, like that's probably 328 00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:15,480 Speaker 2: the extent of it. So that was an eye opening 329 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:17,560 Speaker 2: thing for me to read today too, because it's not 330 00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:20,800 Speaker 2: even about that moment or that person. You can't place 331 00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:23,400 Speaker 2: blame on them, which then means you have to look 332 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:25,400 Speaker 2: at yourself and be like, Okay, what the fuck is 333 00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:27,080 Speaker 2: going on? Why do I feel this way? 334 00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:30,000 Speaker 1: And yeah, and then when you really start connecting the 335 00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:34,000 Speaker 1: dots of what happened back in the past or when 336 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:36,240 Speaker 1: did this start? That's what I always will think of 337 00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:38,160 Speaker 1: to myself and think of my hit. Therapists helped me 338 00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:39,960 Speaker 1: with that one a long time ago, but like when 339 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,680 Speaker 1: did that start? And I'll start tracing back and it's 340 00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:47,320 Speaker 1: like you can start seeing those things happened along the 341 00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:50,880 Speaker 1: path and then you go, oh, the originals sometimes will 342 00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:53,120 Speaker 1: be back when you were like three years old or 343 00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:56,520 Speaker 1: you know, like it's so wild when you really start 344 00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:58,960 Speaker 1: to trace back to the whares and the whys and 345 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:03,040 Speaker 1: the winds that happened, because that's where the point of 346 00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:07,560 Speaker 1: we're operating from our childlike self often in adult life 347 00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:11,560 Speaker 1: comes from, because it's like we're reacting as our three 348 00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:14,960 Speaker 1: year old self that got wounded, but you're a fifty 349 00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:17,800 Speaker 1: year old man or almost fifty year old man. Sorry 350 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:21,520 Speaker 1: to give you take away that year almost fifty year 351 00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:24,919 Speaker 1: old man in a totally different scenario. So, like the 352 00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:29,080 Speaker 1: feeling is really old, and it's like just interesting to 353 00:17:29,119 --> 00:17:31,640 Speaker 1: think about, how do you become the fifty year old 354 00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:34,040 Speaker 1: our forty nine year old? Sorry that I keep doing that, 355 00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:39,520 Speaker 1: Jesus is that so it's fine, Well you do it, 356 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:41,959 Speaker 1: That's why it's in my head. Yeah, I need to 357 00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:44,920 Speaker 1: remember that you're forty nine. But yeah, but like, how 358 00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:46,920 Speaker 1: do you start operating from the forty nine year old 359 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:48,640 Speaker 1: version and not the three year old And a lot 360 00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:51,560 Speaker 1: of people just never look at that. So again, you're 361 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:54,119 Speaker 1: like light years ahead because you're doing it at all. 362 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:57,480 Speaker 2: I think. I think it's also you know, me saying 363 00:17:57,520 --> 00:18:01,199 Speaker 2: that I don't recognize trig or even realize that I 364 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:05,560 Speaker 2: have them. It must be a result of pushing it down, 365 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:08,159 Speaker 2: pushing down, pushing it down, and not paying attention to 366 00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:11,679 Speaker 2: it purposely, not that they don't exist, you know, because 367 00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:14,560 Speaker 2: otherwise I would be like an emotionless blob. 368 00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:16,320 Speaker 1: Of course, And. 369 00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:20,200 Speaker 2: You know, I've always wanted to come from a really 370 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:23,040 Speaker 2: positive place and like have everyone like me and all 371 00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:25,199 Speaker 2: of the things, So it's like that that's also a 372 00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:28,880 Speaker 2: defense mechanism, you know, just acting in a certain way 373 00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:32,440 Speaker 2: to protect yourself from not being liked. But yeah, even 374 00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:36,639 Speaker 2: recognizing today that I have triggers, I can't wait to 375 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:38,560 Speaker 2: see how it opens the door for me. 376 00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:41,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, me too. This is where I get nerdy and 377 00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:45,040 Speaker 1: I like get so excited because I'm just to me. 378 00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:48,159 Speaker 1: The reason to do all of this stuff isn't to 379 00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:52,080 Speaker 1: go into the deep trenches and suffer through therapy. It's 380 00:18:52,119 --> 00:18:56,080 Speaker 1: to open up all of these places into our awareness 381 00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,879 Speaker 1: so that the world gets bigger and brighter and better 382 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:03,720 Speaker 1: and like more vivacious. And just like if you can 383 00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:06,680 Speaker 1: feel the pain of things and actually figure out where 384 00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:09,480 Speaker 1: that is coming from and release it, you can feel 385 00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:12,800 Speaker 1: the joy of life even bigger too, So like getting 386 00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:14,119 Speaker 1: to that's why they say, like the only way to 387 00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:17,159 Speaker 1: out is through and walking through it is just the 388 00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:20,240 Speaker 1: things that it opens up is amazing. Like if you're 389 00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:22,880 Speaker 1: feeling like you are not getting the relationships you want 390 00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:25,360 Speaker 1: or the jobs you want, or the friendships or the 391 00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:28,320 Speaker 1: life or whatever, like this is the path because it's 392 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:32,439 Speaker 1: figuring out the whys, like why not, Like what's blocking me? 393 00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:37,320 Speaker 2: You know? Mm hmm. Other than listening to podcasts or 394 00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:40,640 Speaker 2: you know, reading self help books, how would you suggest 395 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:43,640 Speaker 2: that you know, if there are people like me that yeah, 396 00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:46,280 Speaker 2: don't recognize their triggers or don't think that they have 397 00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:49,200 Speaker 2: any like, are there any tips that you would have, 398 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:51,680 Speaker 2: like as somebody who has done a lot of work 399 00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:54,600 Speaker 2: in that space, Yeah, Like how do you even look 400 00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:55,240 Speaker 2: for them? 401 00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:57,560 Speaker 1: Well, two things come to mind. I mean we talked 402 00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:59,320 Speaker 1: a little bit about this on the podcast too, because 403 00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:01,160 Speaker 1: we did our whole about what we think is wrong 404 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,680 Speaker 1: with talk therapy in the talk therapy world right now, 405 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:06,199 Speaker 1: because to me, there's so much more than just like 406 00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:09,960 Speaker 1: the way I've seen it done with a lot of therapists. 407 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:13,200 Speaker 1: I was lucky enough to get a very good therapist 408 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:15,119 Speaker 1: who I credit a lot of times. I'll say like 409 00:20:15,119 --> 00:20:19,359 Speaker 1: she saved my life because she not only sat and 410 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:22,240 Speaker 1: we talked through things, but it was an experiential therapy 411 00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:26,920 Speaker 1: typesetting where it was actually like getting into the bodywork 412 00:20:27,119 --> 00:20:30,320 Speaker 1: of what I was feeling and expressing that and releasing 413 00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:33,919 Speaker 1: it in a much more holistic way. And also like 414 00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:38,119 Speaker 1: looking at the backstory, like what I have been shocked 415 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:41,720 Speaker 1: and very upset about seeing and a lot of my 416 00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:44,680 Speaker 1: friends is that they go to these therapists who I 417 00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:47,040 Speaker 1: can't even believe this is legal, Like I just can't 418 00:20:47,119 --> 00:20:49,800 Speaker 1: understand when people's mental health is at play. I think 419 00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:52,080 Speaker 1: it's such a high cost, Like it's the stakes are 420 00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:55,080 Speaker 1: so high, you know, And like I just feel like 421 00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:58,360 Speaker 1: it's scary to me that there's a lot of therapists 422 00:20:58,359 --> 00:21:00,360 Speaker 1: out there who are just going in and going through 423 00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:03,040 Speaker 1: the motions of being what you know, they learned a 424 00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:06,600 Speaker 1: therapist was in school. And if you don't have that 425 00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:11,840 Speaker 1: heart connected passion about that job, I think it's very dangerous. 426 00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:14,399 Speaker 1: I really do. And I think that if you feel 427 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:17,800 Speaker 1: like it stops with she was saying something like, you know, 428 00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:21,680 Speaker 1: you have those certain therapists who it's obviously therapists need boundaries, 429 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:24,679 Speaker 1: but if you're in the middle of a deep process 430 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:27,400 Speaker 1: and they go up, time is up. See you next week, 431 00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:31,959 Speaker 1: Like it's so taking just taking the humanness out of 432 00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:35,960 Speaker 1: how deep those connections really need to be is very 433 00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:38,520 Speaker 1: scary to me too. And just making it very like 434 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:41,919 Speaker 1: so methodical is very dangerous, like all of it. Like, 435 00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:43,560 Speaker 1: I just think there needs to be a lot of adjustments. 436 00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:46,720 Speaker 1: But I would say, like finding a really good therapist 437 00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:48,840 Speaker 1: and that might take a couple tries, you know, like 438 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:51,560 Speaker 1: finding a really good person who's going to help direct 439 00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:54,880 Speaker 1: you into the modalities that might work for you, whether 440 00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:59,240 Speaker 1: it's energy work or like doing a intensive like a 441 00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:02,440 Speaker 1: therapy in te doing somatic therapy where it's a lot 442 00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:04,920 Speaker 1: about what you're holding in your body and what happens 443 00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:06,960 Speaker 1: to your body, like that really works well with a 444 00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:09,199 Speaker 1: lot of people who have done gone through things like 445 00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:14,080 Speaker 1: rape or physical actual trauma, you know. Like, but I've 446 00:22:14,119 --> 00:22:15,879 Speaker 1: done a lot of somatic therapy from some of the 447 00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:18,399 Speaker 1: stuff that I've gone through, and it was crazy to 448 00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:21,879 Speaker 1: see what my body was holding. That was just, I 449 00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:33,080 Speaker 1: don't know, it was very, very wild. I also think 450 00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:35,879 Speaker 1: it's really important to be doing the work with someone 451 00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:39,040 Speaker 1: else and someone that you trust in some capacity, because 452 00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:43,280 Speaker 1: as much as we can read stuff and listen to 453 00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:45,480 Speaker 1: podcasts or whatever and we can connect with it, you're 454 00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:47,919 Speaker 1: still in the silo of your own head, you know 455 00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:50,480 Speaker 1: what I mean. Like, whether it's twelve step work and 456 00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:53,200 Speaker 1: you're working with a sponsor or you have a really 457 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:57,879 Speaker 1: good therapist or a coach that's trusted at the coach world. 458 00:22:57,880 --> 00:22:59,720 Speaker 1: Gets me a little nervous too, because I've had some 459 00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:03,440 Speaker 1: bad experiences there, like make sure you know people's qualifications. 460 00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:06,879 Speaker 1: I always think it's really good to talk to someone 461 00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:09,600 Speaker 1: who has worked with someone else. So like if you 462 00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:12,920 Speaker 1: see someone that's been on a journey that you're like, wow, 463 00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:15,560 Speaker 1: they have changed, they've grown, Like what are they doing? 464 00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:19,040 Speaker 1: Like asking people like what helped you? Where did you go, 465 00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:23,359 Speaker 1: what program did you do? Whatever it was, because there, 466 00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:26,320 Speaker 1: unfortunately are a lot of people out there, especially now 467 00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:28,840 Speaker 1: with Instagram and stuff, like everyone seems like they're a coach. 468 00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:30,879 Speaker 1: So I think it's a little bit like we just 469 00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:33,720 Speaker 1: need to use our user you wits, you know, because 470 00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:37,280 Speaker 1: these are very serious things and you're subconscious, like all 471 00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:40,480 Speaker 1: the things that are driving you, Like those things are serious, 472 00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:43,560 Speaker 1: they really are. And as you uncover things, you want 473 00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:45,840 Speaker 1: to have someone walking with you that knows how to 474 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:51,040 Speaker 1: like really go on that deep journey of whatever comes up, 475 00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:55,119 Speaker 1: because you could be very emotional. Oh I know what 476 00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:57,600 Speaker 1: I was gonna say. I always think it's really sweet 477 00:23:58,080 --> 00:24:00,080 Speaker 1: when you talk about you as a kid and how 478 00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:03,879 Speaker 1: sensitive you are, Like I love that so much. And 479 00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:06,560 Speaker 1: I think the one thing that I would really try 480 00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:08,199 Speaker 1: to keep in mind, and I would say this to 481 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:11,560 Speaker 1: listeners too, is like your brain was only trying to 482 00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:14,200 Speaker 1: keep you safe and help you survive, and it still is, 483 00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:17,480 Speaker 1: you know, Like that's the thing about even feeling like 484 00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:20,119 Speaker 1: shame about not knowing things, Like our brain is always 485 00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:22,119 Speaker 1: going to do the thing that it knows how to 486 00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:25,160 Speaker 1: do to make us feel safe or to make us 487 00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:28,400 Speaker 1: feel like it's okay. And this is how we survive. 488 00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:31,199 Speaker 1: And your survival skills are deep and they're good. They 489 00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:34,720 Speaker 1: kept you alive. Maybe they're just not working or serving 490 00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:37,480 Speaker 1: you as well anymore. Right, And so as you start 491 00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:40,000 Speaker 1: to like go through some of these processes, like you'll 492 00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:42,399 Speaker 1: just recognize them more. But it always helps me to go, 493 00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:46,960 Speaker 1: not shame myself, but go, oh my brain, God, it's 494 00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:49,679 Speaker 1: such a strong tool. It's really trying to keep me 495 00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:52,399 Speaker 1: safe right now, Like it's really trying to help me survive. 496 00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:54,639 Speaker 1: And I'm okay, Like I'm safe. I don't need it 497 00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:57,040 Speaker 1: necessarily to do that for me, Like I don't need 498 00:24:57,080 --> 00:25:00,679 Speaker 1: to pick up the old coping mechanism of stuff my feelings. 499 00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:03,520 Speaker 1: I can feel my feelings now, right. That always helps 500 00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:06,000 Speaker 1: me just having that's the part of the self compassion, 501 00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:08,320 Speaker 1: you know, Yeah, I. 502 00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:11,800 Speaker 2: Mean I definitely can see the through line for that 503 00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:14,160 Speaker 2: sensitive little kid. I mean, I still have a lot 504 00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:15,119 Speaker 2: of those qualities. 505 00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:19,800 Speaker 1: Of course you do. You're a Pisces moon up, but I. 506 00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:22,560 Speaker 2: Am a seven, so I've got you know, to seven 507 00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:23,840 Speaker 2: pushes that down a little bit. 508 00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:26,240 Speaker 1: Well, that's what we were talking about before the podcast, 509 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:28,800 Speaker 1: And I would love if any listeners have thoughts on this, 510 00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:31,399 Speaker 1: or if you're an enneagram expert. I have a couple 511 00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:33,280 Speaker 1: of those. I need to reach out to them about this. 512 00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:37,760 Speaker 1: I am so curious about what part of enneagram is 513 00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:41,040 Speaker 1: nature and what part is nurture, Like what part were 514 00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:44,480 Speaker 1: we born with? And then what part did we learn 515 00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:48,480 Speaker 1: by adapting to our lifestyle like in our childhood and 516 00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:50,000 Speaker 1: all of that. If for me, it feels like it 517 00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:53,520 Speaker 1: has to be both with Enneagram stuff because you are 518 00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:57,919 Speaker 1: so sensitive, you're wiring would be made to be sensitive, 519 00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:00,439 Speaker 1: and to the fact that you were told old like 520 00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:02,879 Speaker 1: or it wasn't okay or safe to have feelings in 521 00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:05,440 Speaker 1: your household and you had to learn the stuff that's 522 00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:08,400 Speaker 1: a learned behavior, you know. So I don't know, it's 523 00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:11,960 Speaker 1: just like fascinating to me because you obviously your kids 524 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:15,920 Speaker 1: self before you learn what's right or wrong in your 525 00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:18,679 Speaker 1: house right you're just being. You're just being, and you 526 00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:21,160 Speaker 1: were sensitive, you were crying, and you were all the things, 527 00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:23,240 Speaker 1: and your dad was probably like, yo, we don't do that. 528 00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:25,800 Speaker 1: And then the older you got, the more ingrained it 529 00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:28,080 Speaker 1: got because you were realizing you were gay and all 530 00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:31,000 Speaker 1: of those things, and so you're like, okay, suppress, suppress, supress, oppress. 531 00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:34,760 Speaker 2: Well and two, I think you know, it's there's plenty 532 00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:38,080 Speaker 2: of like examples out there of like how kids don't 533 00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:41,639 Speaker 2: see different yeah, until a certain age, until they're taught it, 534 00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:44,560 Speaker 2: you know. And we've seen, like I've seen a really 535 00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:47,240 Speaker 2: cute stories about like kids of different races that don't 536 00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:50,439 Speaker 2: even realize that their skin color is different, like it's 537 00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:53,160 Speaker 2: just another kid to them. But there was there's definitely 538 00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:56,720 Speaker 2: something like when I think back to when I started 539 00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:59,280 Speaker 2: to feel like I was the one who was different, 540 00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:02,080 Speaker 2: where some of this stuff probably came up, you know 541 00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:08,000 Speaker 2: in me. Yeah, So like I think that's, you know, 542 00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:11,080 Speaker 2: going back to the like not wanting to show up alone. 543 00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:14,639 Speaker 2: Is if a whole room turns and looks at you 544 00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:17,199 Speaker 2: and it's just you walking in the door, like that's 545 00:27:17,359 --> 00:27:20,120 Speaker 2: enough to make someone feel like they're people and judged 546 00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:24,200 Speaker 2: and are different, you know. So it's funny too because 547 00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:27,320 Speaker 2: it's such a dichotomy because I am a very big personality. 548 00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:30,080 Speaker 2: Like when I walk into the room, I'm more likely 549 00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:35,880 Speaker 2: to be like times exactly, and I draw attention to myself, right, 550 00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:38,280 Speaker 2: it's a it's a I mean, I think that's a 551 00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:39,600 Speaker 2: protective thing too, you know. 552 00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:42,080 Speaker 1: Do you see why I was so shocked when you 553 00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:44,920 Speaker 1: said that, Like, but I think that's such a cool 554 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:48,560 Speaker 1: thing that you even got that awareness. But then you're 555 00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:51,119 Speaker 1: willing to share that with other people, Like that to 556 00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:54,040 Speaker 1: me is so beautiful that that is it. That's what 557 00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:56,919 Speaker 1: this whole life is about to me, is us learning 558 00:27:56,960 --> 00:28:00,280 Speaker 1: about ourselves and being vulnerable enough to express it to 559 00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:04,440 Speaker 1: other people and like have that connection. What is this 560 00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:05,080 Speaker 1: without that? 561 00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:07,919 Speaker 2: You know? Like well, I mean even the fact that 562 00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:11,600 Speaker 2: like the why of so many things, like why am 563 00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:13,840 Speaker 2: I even here doing this? You know, how did this 564 00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:17,439 Speaker 2: end up being something that I'm even doing And the 565 00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:21,040 Speaker 2: fact that I listened and a light bulb went off? Yes, 566 00:28:21,119 --> 00:28:21,440 Speaker 2: you know. 567 00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:22,720 Speaker 1: It's no mistake. 568 00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:28,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, there's no mistake. Yeah, it's I'm on a path. Yeah, 569 00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:31,399 Speaker 2: And I mean it's interesting because yeah, there is the 570 00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:34,359 Speaker 2: shame of feeling like I'm behind, and why haven't I 571 00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:37,639 Speaker 2: been doing thinking about these things? And do I not 572 00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:40,600 Speaker 2: feel my emotions? Like all those questions that come up 573 00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:42,920 Speaker 2: when you read a list or hear a list and 574 00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:45,000 Speaker 2: you're like, wait, I'm not doing any other show. I'll 575 00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:49,920 Speaker 2: talk to myself. But the fact that like that happened 576 00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:52,160 Speaker 2: and it gives me the opportunity to be like, oh, 577 00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:55,520 Speaker 2: that was an aha moment. Now I can sort of 578 00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:59,640 Speaker 2: turn the page on not doing it and try to 579 00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:04,880 Speaker 2: be con about it and recognize emotions and triggers when 580 00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:07,640 Speaker 2: they come up. Then it feels a little wooo, but 581 00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:11,160 Speaker 2: it's also exciting to like, it's not so scary now 582 00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:12,360 Speaker 2: that I've seen it. 583 00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:15,640 Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, And the thing about the timing is always 584 00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:18,920 Speaker 1: crazy because I do this to myself, Like my narrative 585 00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:22,600 Speaker 1: will sometimes be about work or something like I'll feel like, oh, 586 00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:24,960 Speaker 1: I should have had this figured out by now I'm 587 00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:27,840 Speaker 1: forty two, and then I'll compare myself to other forty 588 00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:31,800 Speaker 1: two year olds who I deem more successful or whatever, 589 00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:33,440 Speaker 1: you know, like we all have our own stories we 590 00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:36,280 Speaker 1: tell ourselves. But the thing I've been saying lately that's 591 00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:39,680 Speaker 1: really helped me is like with the different journeys thing. 592 00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:44,360 Speaker 1: It's like, if you really think about it, everyone really 593 00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:46,440 Speaker 1: is on their different journey in the way of like 594 00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:49,640 Speaker 1: some people will be way ahead of me and work, 595 00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:52,000 Speaker 1: but that's because they only focused on work, and I 596 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,040 Speaker 1: had some hold ups or I had some changes, and 597 00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:57,560 Speaker 1: I really dove into this, Like I hate the word 598 00:29:57,600 --> 00:29:59,680 Speaker 1: healing journey now because it's so over us, like triggers, 599 00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:01,200 Speaker 1: but whatever where you want to call it. I went 600 00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:02,920 Speaker 1: on this deep dive with that and I spent a 601 00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:06,640 Speaker 1: lot of time, energy, money, all of it in that. 602 00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:09,440 Speaker 1: And because of that, now I'm in a place where 603 00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:13,960 Speaker 1: my relationships are reaping the benefits of that, and I'm 604 00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:17,080 Speaker 1: able to like have conversations like this with my friends, 605 00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:20,720 Speaker 1: Like how fucking cool that we're talking about shit that 606 00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:22,560 Speaker 1: I wouldn't have even known to talk about had I 607 00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:25,120 Speaker 1: not done that stuff, you know what I mean? That 608 00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:28,280 Speaker 1: makes me so happy. Then there's other people who have 609 00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:30,800 Speaker 1: had kids and then they're on a different phase and 610 00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:33,960 Speaker 1: they're forty two as well, but they've lived this whole 611 00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:36,680 Speaker 1: life of parenting that they've learned all this stuff in 612 00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:39,600 Speaker 1: that way that I wouldn't know or they but they 613 00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:41,680 Speaker 1: or they wouldn't know the stuff that I know, because 614 00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:44,280 Speaker 1: they've been so focused on their parenting and then they're 615 00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:46,280 Speaker 1: getting to this place where they're like, well, who the 616 00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:48,240 Speaker 1: fuck am I I know how to be a parent, 617 00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:50,200 Speaker 1: but you know, so it's like, it's just kind of 618 00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:52,640 Speaker 1: silly that we do that, but we all do it, 619 00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:54,760 Speaker 1: and it's I think it's the natural thing as a 620 00:30:54,840 --> 00:30:58,560 Speaker 1: human to compare yourself to others, when in reality, the 621 00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:00,960 Speaker 1: coolest piece is that we can sit and help each 622 00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:03,800 Speaker 1: other with the things that we've been focused on, right 623 00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:06,520 Speaker 1: and really kind of work in a more communal way 624 00:31:06,640 --> 00:31:08,760 Speaker 1: of like, oh, wait, I know about that. Here, I'll 625 00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:11,000 Speaker 1: tell you about that, but will you tell me about this, 626 00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:13,120 Speaker 1: you know, because I don't know a lot about that. Like, 627 00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:17,680 Speaker 1: I just like that idea of us resourcing each other 628 00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:20,400 Speaker 1: a little better than we have in the past and 629 00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:24,640 Speaker 1: not feeling so like individualized that the whole thing has 630 00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:26,640 Speaker 1: to be figured out, because, like I said, I really 631 00:31:26,680 --> 00:31:28,760 Speaker 1: don't think we ever get there, like the order I get. 632 00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:30,840 Speaker 1: I just think this whole journey is kind of this 633 00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:34,959 Speaker 1: piece of this where it's just this constant learning of 634 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:38,240 Speaker 1: different things and unraveling of other things and letting go 635 00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:40,160 Speaker 1: of a certain thing. I don't know, does any of 636 00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:41,080 Speaker 1: that make sense? 637 00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:44,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I also think there's there is some 638 00:31:44,280 --> 00:31:47,640 Speaker 2: like the comparison thing, Like there's that obviously that famous quota. 639 00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:50,440 Speaker 2: I think it was FDR that said comparison is a 640 00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:53,720 Speaker 2: thief of joy. But I also think when you are comparing, 641 00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:57,840 Speaker 2: if it's coming from a place of curiosity and. 642 00:31:57,840 --> 00:31:59,920 Speaker 1: Not just jealousy, that's a good point. 643 00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:04,840 Speaker 2: Then it's it's actually a healthy thing because if it 644 00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:09,440 Speaker 2: leads you to learn something new about yourself, about the world, 645 00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:13,680 Speaker 2: about others, or you know, whatever, then it's the comparison 646 00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:17,600 Speaker 2: is like there's a benefit to that. Yeah, if you're 647 00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:21,400 Speaker 2: doing it just to like shame yourself and have negative 648 00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:24,360 Speaker 2: conversation and tell yourself that you're not or look for 649 00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:27,600 Speaker 2: examples of why you're not worthy, yeah, then it's unhealthy. 650 00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:29,920 Speaker 1: You know, that is a trigger. 651 00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:33,880 Speaker 2: That's a trigger that was triggering Kelly. 652 00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:36,600 Speaker 1: I know. I'm sorry to me to go on your 653 00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:37,320 Speaker 1: healing journey. 654 00:32:37,720 --> 00:32:41,920 Speaker 2: Yeah o god. 655 00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:45,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, well anyway, I mean I feel. 656 00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:47,320 Speaker 2: I don't feel so behind. 657 00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:49,640 Speaker 1: Right now, which is you're not that's the thing. Yeah, 658 00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:52,680 Speaker 1: it's just exciting it that you're even thinking about it 659 00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:55,400 Speaker 1: at all, you know, Like I think that's amazing and 660 00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:58,640 Speaker 1: beautiful and exciting, and who knows what you'll uncover? 661 00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:02,720 Speaker 2: Right, like where that's the scary part to me, is it? 662 00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:06,920 Speaker 2: The I mean I often like I know I should 663 00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:10,240 Speaker 2: probably be doing more talk therapy, even if it's not perfect, 664 00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:13,800 Speaker 2: But yeah, it's I think that's probably a scary thing 665 00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:16,760 Speaker 2: for a lot of people, Like what what are you 666 00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:19,000 Speaker 2: going to uncover that you're not going to be able 667 00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:20,680 Speaker 2: to cope with or like you're not going to have 668 00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:21,800 Speaker 2: the skills to cope with? 669 00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:24,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, But that's the thing, is it's the thing first 670 00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:28,719 Speaker 1: of all. The funniest part to me always is you 671 00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:30,880 Speaker 1: can say, what are you going to uncover? Well, it's 672 00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:33,240 Speaker 1: already fucking driving the bus anyway. You just don't know 673 00:33:33,360 --> 00:33:37,240 Speaker 1: it right now, right, So you might as well sit 674 00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:39,600 Speaker 1: and like kind of figure that out or talk through 675 00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:41,720 Speaker 1: it and see what comes up, because then it's at 676 00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:44,320 Speaker 1: least in your awareness, like at least and. 677 00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:45,840 Speaker 2: You've already survived it once. 678 00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:49,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, and you're not alone. That's the thing. That's why 679 00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:52,040 Speaker 1: I always am saying I think it's important to have 680 00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:56,160 Speaker 1: a facilitator or a mentor a therapist or whatever at 681 00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:59,240 Speaker 1: the beginning stages or that can be really helpful because 682 00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:01,920 Speaker 1: you have to figure it out. You don't have to 683 00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:04,600 Speaker 1: like go on this journey and get it all right. 684 00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:07,000 Speaker 1: You have someone who's saying, like, hey, what about over 685 00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:09,719 Speaker 1: here or what about like looking into this and kind 686 00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:12,040 Speaker 1: of guiding you, or when something comes up, saying oh, 687 00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:14,560 Speaker 1: well you know what that is, or pointing out the 688 00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:17,080 Speaker 1: progress even that it can come up because it feels 689 00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:20,680 Speaker 1: safe enough to come up, Like how amazing is that? Yeah? 690 00:34:20,920 --> 00:34:23,319 Speaker 1: But yeah, like it's just interesting to me that we've 691 00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:25,640 Speaker 1: we run and we hide and I've done it too, 692 00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:28,839 Speaker 1: Like we don't want to address these things. Meanwhile, they're 693 00:34:28,840 --> 00:34:31,320 Speaker 1: the things making us do all the fucking things we're doing. 694 00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:34,800 Speaker 1: We just don't realize it. So they're the ones putting 695 00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:37,160 Speaker 1: us in those relationships that aren't working. They're the ones 696 00:34:37,520 --> 00:34:41,239 Speaker 1: making us pick the people we pick. When it becomes 697 00:34:41,400 --> 00:34:43,279 Speaker 1: or it comes into your awareness like what happened to 698 00:34:43,320 --> 00:34:46,200 Speaker 1: you today, then it's fucking ready to be healed. It's ready, 699 00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:49,480 Speaker 1: Like it's just like hey, here I am, and now 700 00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:53,000 Speaker 1: you're gonna feel totally differently probably even from talking about 701 00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:56,200 Speaker 1: that and having that in your awareness, and you can 702 00:34:56,239 --> 00:34:56,880 Speaker 1: move different. 703 00:34:57,520 --> 00:35:00,360 Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, I'm just gonna start going out but myself 704 00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:00,879 Speaker 2: all the time. 705 00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:03,440 Speaker 1: Now, it's so funny to me that that's the thing, 706 00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:05,719 Speaker 1: but it's really it's not that thing, because I do 707 00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:08,680 Speaker 1: think you right, it's not enjoy you still like activities. 708 00:35:08,719 --> 00:35:12,960 Speaker 1: It's the feeling you're associating with it of the unworthiness 709 00:35:13,080 --> 00:35:15,879 Speaker 1: or the but that's the trigger and that's the thing 710 00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:18,360 Speaker 1: to like look at. So maybe yeah, like releasing that, 711 00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:19,600 Speaker 1: So that is what is. 712 00:35:19,480 --> 00:35:22,200 Speaker 2: Being triggered by the event of having to walk in 713 00:35:22,239 --> 00:35:27,560 Speaker 2: by myself exactly. It's fun to learn. I mean it. 714 00:35:27,719 --> 00:35:29,319 Speaker 1: I don't know if you really mean that or if 715 00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:29,880 Speaker 1: you feel. 716 00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:32,000 Speaker 2: Like it's like no, no, I mean it's I love 717 00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:33,480 Speaker 2: a little light bulb moment like that. 718 00:35:33,719 --> 00:35:35,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, that chipped. 719 00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:37,719 Speaker 2: Out to me and I'm like, I like recognized it 720 00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:39,000 Speaker 2: in the moment while listening to it. 721 00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:43,160 Speaker 1: Yeah it could. Yeah, Well, if any of this is resonating, 722 00:35:43,200 --> 00:35:45,360 Speaker 1: I know, Like it's interesting because our Friday episodes have 723 00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:47,719 Speaker 1: kind of we talk about the Wednesday, but it's kind 724 00:35:47,760 --> 00:35:52,319 Speaker 1: of become this cool unpacking session with each other, which 725 00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:54,280 Speaker 1: I know We've gotten some feedback from some of the listeners. 726 00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:57,960 Speaker 1: They're really liking that. If you are loving it or 727 00:35:58,000 --> 00:35:59,880 Speaker 1: hating it, or whatever, let us know. I mean, tell 728 00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:02,120 Speaker 1: what's working for you. But also like if you're really 729 00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:05,319 Speaker 1: resonating with what Chip said or what I said, like 730 00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:07,760 Speaker 1: where are you in your journeys? I'm just curious with people. 731 00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:10,040 Speaker 1: You can always email us at the Edge at velvet 732 00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:12,080 Speaker 1: edge dot com. You can slide into my DMS. I'm 733 00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:14,719 Speaker 1: at Velvet's Edge, Chip. 734 00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:17,080 Speaker 2: I'm at Chip Doors. It's c H I P D 735 00:36:17,239 --> 00:36:18,960 Speaker 2: O R S c H. 736 00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:21,560 Speaker 1: And if you guys feel what Chip feels, go DMHM 737 00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:26,160 Speaker 1: because I feel like I love doing that, but also 738 00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:30,239 Speaker 1: like there's nothing better to me than feeling connected with 739 00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:32,400 Speaker 1: others who are feeling the same thing like I just 740 00:36:32,520 --> 00:36:34,560 Speaker 1: that is the whole reason I want to do this podcast. 741 00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:38,120 Speaker 1: So slide into our DMS. Let's talk, let's chat it up. 742 00:36:38,239 --> 00:36:40,000 Speaker 1: That's why we're doing this. We want to talk to 743 00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:42,680 Speaker 1: you guys and continue to go on our journeys too. 744 00:36:42,719 --> 00:36:45,239 Speaker 1: So as you guys go into the weekend and you're 745 00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:50,960 Speaker 1: living on the edge, I hope you always remember too. Bye. 746 00:36:52,040 --> 00:36:54,480 Speaker 1: I'll say bye now again sause you love us so much. 747 00:36:54,520 --> 00:37:02,480 Speaker 2: Last week