1 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:03,200 Speaker 1: Today, I ft up by drunk eating beat chips and 2 00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:04,760 Speaker 1: telling my boss I was. 3 00:00:04,920 --> 00:00:08,520 Speaker 2: Dying, dying, dying like. 4 00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:13,600 Speaker 1: Crap, like like six feet deep, no social distancing. 5 00:00:13,720 --> 00:00:15,040 Speaker 2: Okay, let's hear it. Let's hear it. 6 00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:19,200 Speaker 1: Well, this happened yesterday, and I mean the title says 7 00:00:19,239 --> 00:00:24,840 Speaker 1: it all the story. We're done, Kay's clothes. I got 8 00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:29,200 Speaker 1: some dropping mad beats chips. Don't know what those are, 9 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:32,760 Speaker 1: and I ate them in a drunken frenzy. 10 00:00:34,479 --> 00:00:37,160 Speaker 2: Okay, the best way to eat them. It's interesting. Uh. 11 00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:39,879 Speaker 1: In the morning, I got up and took a piss 12 00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:45,600 Speaker 1: and noticed my pee was really really orange. 13 00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:48,159 Speaker 2: Kind of that would that would shock me? You know. 14 00:00:48,479 --> 00:00:51,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, at the time I had pink or purple pea 15 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:53,080 Speaker 3: because of beats. 16 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:54,160 Speaker 2: I ate a lot of beats. 17 00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:57,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, wondered why this one did orange. I noticed it 18 00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:00,840 Speaker 1: and I was like, dang, this doesn't look good. Best 19 00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:04,800 Speaker 1: keep an eye out on that facts. Yeah, you know, 20 00:01:05,319 --> 00:01:10,720 Speaker 1: check yourself before you wreck yourself. Then later on at work, 21 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:15,200 Speaker 1: I took a crap and it was crazy red, like 22 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:19,800 Speaker 1: unnaturally so, and I start freaking out. 23 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:20,960 Speaker 2: I'm bleeding. 24 00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:22,920 Speaker 3: Did I literally did the same thing. I ate a 25 00:01:22,959 --> 00:01:26,600 Speaker 3: bunch of beats and I took a crap and then 26 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:28,560 Speaker 3: the whole toilet. 27 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:29,839 Speaker 2: Was red, and I'm like, I'm dying. 28 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:32,640 Speaker 1: Like at the end, is it like bright red, like 29 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:35,320 Speaker 1: the red that we used on our video letters, like 30 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:40,800 Speaker 1: super bright? Oh my god, that's crazy beat red. I thought, 31 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:44,679 Speaker 1: f my time has come. Years of treating my body 32 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:47,360 Speaker 1: worse than a tuckle bell dumpster has come to haunt me. 33 00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:51,760 Speaker 2: I'm finally dying. Oh my god. Sounds like this guy 34 00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:53,320 Speaker 2: wasn't living bad. Yeah, you do. 35 00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:55,320 Speaker 3: Got to treat your body well if you don't want 36 00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:57,800 Speaker 3: to be a dumpster fire by the time you're fifty. 37 00:01:57,920 --> 00:01:58,640 Speaker 2: Goodness. 38 00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:02,000 Speaker 1: I go to my boss and explain that I'm dying 39 00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:05,120 Speaker 1: and I must leave to go to the emergency room. 40 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:08,640 Speaker 1: When she looks me, when she looks blankly at me 41 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:12,280 Speaker 1: and says, could it have been something you ate? Which 42 00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:15,680 Speaker 1: is like, I don't know if I would respond to 43 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:18,240 Speaker 1: that with like I'm dying, but I would be like, 44 00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:21,360 Speaker 1: what's wrong? Like that's very specific. 45 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:22,600 Speaker 2: Yeah. 46 00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:25,400 Speaker 1: Then it all comes back to me guzzling down some 47 00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:30,320 Speaker 1: gin and tonics, both hands clapping down the chips by 48 00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:36,280 Speaker 1: the fistful bright, obnoxiously futia crumbs riddling my face, shirt 49 00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:39,680 Speaker 1: and pants. My forty year old ass with grown up 50 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:41,600 Speaker 1: big girl pants on says. 51 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:45,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it was something. I think it was 52 00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:46,480 Speaker 2: something I ate. 53 00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:49,520 Speaker 1: And in the most embarrassing minute in my in the 54 00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:52,640 Speaker 1: most embarrassing minute of my life, I waddle back to 55 00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:55,320 Speaker 1: my desk, my life. 56 00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:57,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like it is embarrassing as a forty 57 00:02:57,880 --> 00:02:59,720 Speaker 3: year old man to realize that. 58 00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:03,040 Speaker 2: It's all because I ate beats and not because I'm dying. 59 00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:05,880 Speaker 1: This guy sounds like a nineteen year old I know 60 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:12,639 Speaker 1: especial Yeah, like taco bell, dumpster fire, like getting wasted, 61 00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:14,079 Speaker 1: and like eating beat chip. 62 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:16,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, bro, take care of yourself. Come on, care of yourself. 63 00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:16,840 Speaker 2: Come on.