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Speaker 2: The number one health and wellness.
Speaker 1: Podcast, Jay Sheety Jay Shetty Nay shet Hey, everyone, welcome
Speaker 1: back to On Purpose. Thank you so much for reconnecting
Speaker 1: every day every week to become happier, healthier, and more healed.
Speaker 1: One of my favorite things to do is to sit
Speaker 1: down with people and understand their mindsets, understand how they
Speaker 1: became who they are, and understand what they go through
Speaker 1: in order to create the work they do today's guest
Speaker 1: is someone that I'm excited to connect with to understand
Speaker 1: more about his mindset, his approach, and his upbringing. The
Speaker 1: guest is Lil nars X or Montero, a twenty four
Speaker 1: year old award winning rapper singer songwriter from Atlanta, Georgia.
Speaker 1: Dubbed an internationally recognized phenomenon by Billboard, Little naz X
Speaker 1: rose to fame in twenty nineteen when he released Old
Speaker 1: Town Road and Shattered jenre Norms, disrupted the charts and
Speaker 1: went viral worldwide. The song's remix with Billy Ray Cyrus
Speaker 1: became the longest running number one single in Billboard Hot
Speaker 1: one hundred history, and his recordized with numerous awards, including
Speaker 1: two Grammys. After a highly successful EP and several multi
Speaker 1: platinum songs, Nas went on to release his critically acclaimed
Speaker 1: and Grammy nominated debut album, Montero in September twenty twenty one,
Speaker 1: which featured the culture shifting six times platinum hit Montero
Speaker 1: Call Me by Your Name. Following the release of his
Speaker 1: following the release of Lil narz K's latest single, Jay Christ,
Speaker 1: his beautiful new documentary Lil nars X Long Live Montero
Speaker 1: debuted this weekend on HBO and is available to stream
Speaker 1: now on Max. Please welcome to On Purpose Montero, Lil
Speaker 1: naz X, thank you so much for being here.
Speaker 2: I'm happy to be here. I'm happy to talk about stuff.
Speaker 1: I'm happy to talk about stuff too, And I wanted
Speaker 1: to start off with I know that you love time travel. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I heard you were obsessed with time travel, and when
Speaker 1: I heard that, I was like, that sounds like something
Speaker 1: I'd love to hear more about. Where does that obsession
Speaker 1: come from?
Speaker 2: Where they come from?
Speaker 3: I love the idea that you can go and change
Speaker 3: anything in the past or go to the future, like
Speaker 3: to see what's going on. I guess it's it's like
Speaker 3: a form of escapism that I just really enjoy, you know,
Speaker 3: and I like to explore it in my art a lot.
Speaker 1: Yeah, where have you explored changing things in the past?
Speaker 1: Like what what would be fascinating for you to visit
Speaker 1: in the past.
Speaker 3: You know, when I was younger, I always thought like
Speaker 3: that's something I would want to do. But as I
Speaker 3: grow older, I don't think I want to change anything
Speaker 3: in the past. I guess I want to go to
Speaker 3: the future and maybe ask myself, like what do I
Speaker 3: do now? I mean, I guess that's kind of like
Speaker 3: where I'm at in my life right now. It's like
Speaker 3: what did you do to get to where you are?
Speaker 3: So I know I'm in that place, but I'm not
Speaker 3: there right now?
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, Where did the fascination come from? Where did
Speaker 1: it originate from? Like?
Speaker 2: Where did it originate from?
Speaker 3: I say, the Back to the Future to movie, not
Speaker 3: the first Love but the second one, and a lot
Speaker 3: of Family Guy episodes from Brian and Stewie, like go
Speaker 3: to the Past.
Speaker 1: Yeah. One of the things you said in the documentary
Speaker 1: was you said that Lil nas X helped you understand
Speaker 1: more about Montero, And you know, the documentary is called
Speaker 1: Long Lived Montero. I wanted to understand from you who
Speaker 1: is Montero and who's Little nas X.
Speaker 3: I think Montero was at first like this very shy,
Speaker 3: super insecure kid and you know, had big dreams. But
Speaker 3: I guess I was just very afraid of like even
Speaker 3: being like himself and me becoming little nas X. It
Speaker 3: was almost a persona, you know, and he could kind
Speaker 3: of just do whatever he wants and he can do anything,
Speaker 3: and he can move on to the next thing and
Speaker 3: not really be pigeon held to like anything, you know,
Speaker 3: and he helped Montero.
Speaker 2: Morph into that person. If that makes sense.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it does make sense. And with Little nas X,
Speaker 1: even if not by name, was that a character and
Speaker 1: energy that you harnessed when you were young? Was that
Speaker 1: a feeling you had when you were young or was
Speaker 1: it something that evolved through time.
Speaker 3: I think it's something that evolved through time, like through music.
Speaker 3: I think my enthusiasm or just like my hunger to
Speaker 3: grow musically like pushes me to do things in my
Speaker 3: personal life that I would not do. And it's like
Speaker 3: not even just my personal life anymore, because it's like
Speaker 3: public now, and I know if I'm not able to
Speaker 3: do those things, I can't continue to be Little nas X,
Speaker 3: or at least that's how it works in my head.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I think a lot of people can
Speaker 1: relate to that. I think we all have the little
Speaker 1: kid inside of us that's insecure and anxious and doesn't
Speaker 1: know how people are going to react. And I think
Speaker 1: we all feel like we wish we had an alter
Speaker 1: ego or a version of ourselves that was stronger and
Speaker 1: bolder and more caregeus what kind of qualities does little
Speaker 1: nas X have that you love in the door?
Speaker 3: I feel like Lil nas X knows how to navigate
Speaker 3: any situation. He knows how to find his way out
Speaker 3: of things that may seem like very like dark and daunting,
Speaker 3: and he helps Montero do that. And I feel like
Speaker 3: that's one of the reason why I call it Long
Speaker 3: Live Montero, because I still hope that innocent little boy
Speaker 3: inside of me like remains, you know, because I think
Speaker 3: you need that balance of you know, that courageous and
Speaker 3: you can do whatever, and still like scared, like fearful,
Speaker 3: but excited, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So it's not like you're trying to remove the fear.
Speaker 1: You just you actually want to protect that innocence.
Speaker 3: I want to protect that innocence, and I don't. I
Speaker 3: think it's less like removing the fear and more so
Speaker 3: being able to do things.
Speaker 2: Even when they're fearful.
Speaker 3: And it's like I'm showing the younger me that exists
Speaker 3: within me, like you can do this, you can do this,
Speaker 3: we can do this. It's going to be scary, but
Speaker 3: but let's.
Speaker 2: Go for it and see what happens.
Speaker 1: So there was this quote in the documentary where you
Speaker 1: said my mind is hardwired since I was a kid,
Speaker 1: that if you f up one time, you have to
Speaker 1: quit the whole thing. And my question is, when have
Speaker 1: you felt that you've done that in life or have
Speaker 1: you ever felt that kind of fear and then pushed through?
Speaker 1: Because Little nas X came.
Speaker 3: Through, you know, after the success of like Old Town
Speaker 3: Road and whatnot, I had like this dark like period
Speaker 3: of like, oh God, like what do I do? And
Speaker 3: I put out like my song Holiday like before, like
Speaker 3: right before Montero came out, and it just wasn't living
Speaker 3: up to what I had hoped for, and like I
Speaker 3: was in a hotel room and I was just like
Speaker 3: telling myself, like how much like I hate myself, you know,
Speaker 3: just like how did you let this? How did you
Speaker 3: mess this up? And how did you get here? And
Speaker 3: like it's nothing we can do now, Like there's no
Speaker 3: reason for us to be here. And I guess that's
Speaker 3: like the childish like brat inside of me that it's
Speaker 3: not comfortable working from the ground up, you know, And
Speaker 3: in my introduction to the music industry, was already at
Speaker 3: the top, you know, like it's a hard thing to
Speaker 3: live from.
Speaker 2: In a sense, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Absolutely. Yeah, So that's the hardest thing to follow up
Speaker 1: with one of the most successful drops of all time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: how did you process that?
Speaker 3: I knew I was going to do it, I didn't
Speaker 3: know how. I didn't know how I was going to continue.
Speaker 3: But what it took was me bringing out another side
Speaker 3: of myself, which was like Montero called me by her name,
Speaker 3: and with that though, I had to let go of this.
Speaker 3: It's like child like innocence, like the public hat with me.
Speaker 1: I guess yeah, I want to dive into your childhood
Speaker 1: at you. I was going to ask you, like, what
Speaker 1: would you believe would be your favorite memory growing up?
Speaker 1: Like if you were to close your eyes right now
Speaker 1: and think about Atlanta, Georgia, what's the vision or the
Speaker 1: visual that comes to mind or your heart that resonates
Speaker 1: and connects with love.
Speaker 3: I went immediately to this one, but I don't even
Speaker 3: know if it's mine. But it's like me in front
Speaker 3: of my like Grandma's house, and I'm just like running
Speaker 3: around the tree like I don't.
Speaker 1: Know, that's beautiful.
Speaker 3: I feel like that's one of my first memories, you know. Yeah,
Speaker 3: And it's just like bliss, where was.
Speaker 1: That like, where was the house? What did it look like?
Speaker 1: What do you say?
Speaker 3: It was actually an apartment and it was it was
Speaker 3: in bank Head Courts, Atlanta. It was like basically the hood,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. But at that time, you know,
Speaker 3: everything felt all right.
Speaker 1: So yeah, and how old are you in this memory
Speaker 1: of this?
Speaker 3: I feel like I was maybe like five. It was
Speaker 3: right before the tree got cut down too. Yeah, kind
Speaker 3: of symbolic in a way.
Speaker 1: In what way, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I guess.
Speaker 3: Life increasingly became more like real things started to happen
Speaker 3: within like you know, my family life, and also at
Speaker 3: that time recognizing even at that age, like you know.
Speaker 2: My sexuality and whatnot, and I feel like it, you know,
Speaker 2: became like.
Speaker 3: A rocky like ship from that moment.
Speaker 1: Is that when you started to become more aware of
Speaker 1: your sexuality? Was that an age that it started to become?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, because that was the age I started
Speaker 3: to become like aware of myself. And it was also
Speaker 3: like becoming aware of the world around me, you know,
Speaker 3: and it's like, oh, this thing that's really bad that
Speaker 3: nobody seemed to lie. I happened to be that thing.
Speaker 3: But maybe, you know, maybe it's not that bad. But
Speaker 3: also you know, God's like probably super mad at me,
Speaker 3: and I don't got to think I'm like being disrespectful anythink.
Speaker 3: And it's like, you know what I mean, all those
Speaker 3: things that I feel like I shouldn't be thinking about
Speaker 3: it like.
Speaker 1: Six, Definitely, that's a lot that's heavy to be thinking
Speaker 1: about at six. Yeah, yeah, it's a lot, I think
Speaker 1: for anyone to be processing at six years old, it's
Speaker 1: a lot of things to be questioning. I mean, you
Speaker 1: in that memory you talked about your grandmother, and I
Speaker 1: know that you're when your great grandmother passed. That was
Speaker 1: the first person that was close to you that you lost,
Speaker 1: and that was when you leaned into music. How old
Speaker 1: were you when that happened? Considering that memory you have that,
Speaker 1: you just visualize how old were you when that happened?
Speaker 1: And how did that make you lean into music?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 3: I actually that actually happened when I was maybe eighteen
Speaker 3: sow But at that time my dad had already had cussy.
Speaker 3: Because I used to live with my grandmother from like
Speaker 3: when I was like like five until like eleven, and
Speaker 3: I was just like the golden child. I was like
Speaker 3: spoiled and like I got so much love, and I
Speaker 3: was like, you know, I was the baby of the family.
Speaker 3: So once my dad got cussy of us, you know,
Speaker 3: he played like much more like hardball kind of vibes,
Speaker 3: and I didn't see my grandmother as much, but she
Speaker 3: was still like number one person in my heart when
Speaker 3: I like thought about like love, and you know, around
Speaker 3: sixteen or so, like I was told she had cancer
Speaker 3: and it was it was like it was like this
Speaker 3: thing that I was like, oh, it can't be true,
Speaker 3: and I kind of just like try to forget like
Speaker 3: it exists.
Speaker 2: I'm like, well, she's still alive, Like you know, maybe
Speaker 2: that was just like denial.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it was like a lot of now,
Speaker 3: even like when I was around her, like you know,
Speaker 3: noticing that she was like getting skinnier and like like
Speaker 3: looking different, and she would like say things like, you know,
Speaker 3: I like, Grandma, I love you, and she like, you know,
Speaker 3: like I don't love myself and stuff like that, and
Speaker 3: it was just it was really hard to like hear
Speaker 3: and listen to this person that you have so much
Speaker 3: love for.
Speaker 2: Like lose like faith in life and just like the
Speaker 2: world in general.
Speaker 3: And it's like it's also the person that has took
Speaker 3: on a role of being the back of the family
Speaker 3: for so many people, like you know, the person, you know,
Speaker 3: the grandmother, Like she has like the family reunion, she
Speaker 3: has everybody over for thanksgiven. She watches the kids like
Speaker 3: that's like a big thing in the black community and whatnot.
Speaker 3: And and now like you know, she, I guess, like
Speaker 3: feel cheated by life.
Speaker 2: And you know, I guess I.
Speaker 3: Could feel that through the way she would carry herself
Speaker 3: at that time. And so it was really hard once
Speaker 3: she passed, and it was something I tried to like
Speaker 3: brush over.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's interesting. I actually lost my uncle when
Speaker 1: I was around her your age at that time, and
Speaker 1: he was he also was diagnosed with throat cancer. And
Speaker 1: I was really close to my uncle. He was He
Speaker 1: taught me how to drive, He helped me get my
Speaker 1: first job. He used to own like a news shop
Speaker 1: and you know, sell newspapers and stuff. So he would
Speaker 1: like let me work out and work in the shop
Speaker 1: and make a little pocket money. And then when he died,
Speaker 1: it was really interesting for me because I was getting
Speaker 1: more into spirituality at the time and he was really
Speaker 1: angry that I was getting into spirituality, and so he
Speaker 1: was so mad at me, and like, you know, when
Speaker 1: he was really really unwell, he'd be like, I hope
Speaker 1: you're not going to get spiritual, and I hope that's
Speaker 1: not going to be your path. And so he was
Speaker 1: kind of losing that positive spark. He was always like
Speaker 1: this positive energy and then towards the end of his
Speaker 1: life he was more angry than anything else. And it was, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was an interesting experience going, you know, going from
Speaker 1: someone that again loved me so much, helped me so much,
Speaker 1: someone that I was very close to to then feeling
Speaker 1: like he actually didn't like who I was becoming. How
Speaker 1: did you feel your grandmother's love evolved for you?
Speaker 2: Sorry? Sorry about that?
Speaker 1: Oh no, thank you you. You inspired me to be
Speaker 1: vulnerable and share it back with you, because yeah, I
Speaker 1: guess we both lost someone that we cared about a
Speaker 1: similar time. But yeah, how did your grandmother's love evolve
Speaker 1: for you from that five to eleven age when you
Speaker 1: were living with a Like, how do you how do
Speaker 1: you think she loved you that stayed with you?
Speaker 3: I guess that's like afterwards five oh, like during the
Speaker 3: time both you know, my grandmother's like one of those
Speaker 3: things that that she really loved when you know, life
Speaker 3: I guess wasn't like great like where we lived and
Speaker 3: you know, our like financial situation and just like you know,
Speaker 3: the what comes with you know, getting older in life.
Speaker 2: You know, I got, I got all the love.
Speaker 3: I got all the love, and you know, sadly my
Speaker 3: siblings got the other end of that stake, I guess.
Speaker 3: And you know, around the time my I got custody
Speaker 3: of us, I didn't feel like that special child anymore,
Speaker 3: which is probably good.
Speaker 2: For my young ego, you know, like feeling like I
Speaker 2: had to be like that one all the time.
Speaker 3: And I guess I kind of stop seeing my grandmother
Speaker 3: as much. I'd go over there like a lot of
Speaker 3: the weekends and whatnot, but you know, it was just
Speaker 3: like the thing.
Speaker 2: That I can't be there anymore.
Speaker 3: And then eventually, like she passed away, and it was
Speaker 3: just like just very confusing.
Speaker 1: Do you remember the first song that you made after
Speaker 1: her pausing or anything that any music that came from that.
Speaker 3: I made a song called like carry On, and it
Speaker 3: was pretty much about how I like felt like very
Speaker 3: selfish about not being there when she passed away, when
Speaker 3: I was supposed to be there that day, you know,
Speaker 3: but I was so stuck on social media, you know
Speaker 3: what I mean. And I was so like really like
Speaker 3: into Twitter and trying to you know, build that even
Speaker 3: though I know my grandmother's like on her last days,
Speaker 3: and it was just like I just felt like very
Speaker 3: selfish because it was, you know, like this person that
Speaker 3: showed you so much love, shown you so much love,
Speaker 3: and you're not there because you're like.
Speaker 2: Trying to get these people's attention online. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people can relate to that too.
Speaker 1: You get so obsessed with your career or a direction
Speaker 1: or a path and it's working and it's winning, and
Speaker 1: there's momentum, and we all kind of you know, and
Speaker 1: you were young when that happened for you, But a
Speaker 1: lot of people into their thirties, forties, fifties will you know,
Speaker 1: attest to that and put their hand up and say,
Speaker 1: you know they've done that where they've over prioritized their
Speaker 1: career to their relationships. How's that shifted how you've lived
Speaker 1: since then? Like that reflection or realization that you've had.
Speaker 3: I'll be honest, I'll say I was still kind of
Speaker 3: like that way up until these last like maybe two
Speaker 3: years of I guess my break from like music or whatnot.
Speaker 2: I've started to really actually like cherished.
Speaker 3: Like being with my family and stuff, because it's like
Speaker 3: these people are growing up so fast like that, like
Speaker 3: that my nieces and nephews and you know, you see
Speaker 3: that on TV and you feel like it's like cliche
Speaker 3: and whatnot, but it happens like so fast, and I
Speaker 3: feel like the older I get, the faster these years
Speaker 3: like somehow go by.
Speaker 2: And yeah, yeah, pretty.
Speaker 1: Much, that's a wise realization to have a twenty four
Speaker 1: I'll tell you that, Like, that's that's early. I think
Speaker 1: most people that I speak to again, like you're saying,
Speaker 1: we hear the cliche, we see it, but I say
Speaker 1: most people don't get to that realization until they're like
Speaker 1: thirty forty, maybe even later on in life. You know,
Speaker 1: it's it's a weird one because you kind of feel
Speaker 1: like you'll be the exception. Yeah, right, Like everyone feels
Speaker 1: like they'll be the exception. Maybe their life will go slower,
Speaker 1: they'll have time for everything. There was another line in
Speaker 1: the documentary that really read with me. There were so
Speaker 1: many things that I can't wait for. Everyone wants the documentary, honestly,
Speaker 1: because as someone who knew your music was aware of you.
Speaker 1: I felt like I got really invited into your stream
Speaker 1: of consciousness during it, and I so appreciated. I found
Speaker 1: your thinking out loud to be extremely comforting, even though
Speaker 1: we've never met each other and we don't know each other.
Speaker 1: And there were so many things that you said where
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I can relate to that in
Speaker 1: some way. And this was another one. You said a
Speaker 1: lot of the times when I'm scared, it's when I'm
Speaker 1: about to do something that will change my life drastically.
Speaker 1: And I was going to ask you what scares you
Speaker 1: the most right now or what do you feel fearful
Speaker 1: about right now that you think might be on the
Speaker 1: verge of changing your life drastically.
Speaker 3: I think, just like my place right now in my
Speaker 3: actual career, in like these last couple of weeks, you know,
Speaker 3: I've never been here like mentally and actually like physically,
Speaker 3: you know where you've like been so like focused and
Speaker 3: like zoned in on what you're doing, and you push
Speaker 3: your art out into the world and it's kind of
Speaker 3: like received negatively by like the majority, you know what
Speaker 3: I mean, But then like also understanding why you know
Speaker 3: and having.
Speaker 2: To like see it through.
Speaker 3: So I guess that's that's where I'm at right now
Speaker 3: and my next move, you know, the things that I'm
Speaker 3: planning on right now. I feel like somewhere in here
Speaker 3: there's going to be this magical moment that I can't
Speaker 3: even take credit for it. Yeah, I feel like that's
Speaker 3: that's going to squeep. I feel like that always happens.
Speaker 1: So, yeah, there's always magic in the messiness. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: it's not fun, No, not at all.
Speaker 2: It's been a lot. Yeah.
Speaker 1: No, we'll get to that as well. There's another line
Speaker 1: that kind of sparked where you just said, Now you
Speaker 1: said you talk about one thing a little bit of chaos,
Speaker 1: Like there's a part of you that likes a little
Speaker 1: bit of chaos. And I was going to ask you,
Speaker 1: what does positive chaos look like to Montero and what
Speaker 1: does negative chaos look like?
Speaker 3: I think the thing is it's usually when I can
Speaker 3: control it, I've lost I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't think I have the.
Speaker 3: Grip on controlling it. I feel like it does a
Speaker 3: lot of what it wants. Now, you know, I'm usually
Speaker 3: like strategic with things, and I can kind of like
Speaker 3: move the conversation.
Speaker 2: But that's the chaos.
Speaker 1: I like, yeah, yeah, it's it's it's kind of like
Speaker 1: a kid that starts a fire and it's into under control.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and a forest fire.
Speaker 3: I'm just like, oh, this is not it's what's supposed
Speaker 3: to This is not my chaos. But yeah, I like
Speaker 3: to keep things interesting or whatnot, and yeah, lead the
Speaker 3: conversation around it.
Speaker 1: But yeah, yeah, I think what I think all of
Speaker 1: us love that we I love and I appreciate the honesty,
Speaker 1: Like I think we all love chaos that's under control
Speaker 1: and that we can can control, drama that we can control.
Speaker 1: But then as soon as it and it's funny because
Speaker 1: it always starts like that, right, Like even a forest
Speaker 1: fire starts because there was a little controllable fire, but
Speaker 1: then it spread really really fast. Yeah, And that feeling
Speaker 1: of things leaving your grip is like the most uncomfortable
Speaker 1: feeling in the world. When you feel something just like,
Speaker 1: it's the worst. It's the worst feeling ever. Yeah, when
Speaker 1: you feel that way, when you've created something and then
Speaker 1: it takes a life of its own, you've experienced it
Speaker 1: positively and challengingly. How do you process that or how
Speaker 1: do you allow yourself to be okay with creating something controlled,
Speaker 1: and then it becomes fully chaotic and out of it it.
Speaker 3: Can get almost like depressing, but you know, actually depressing,
Speaker 3: and it can you can become like super angry with yourself.
Speaker 3: As I said like earlier whatnot, and yeah, I mean
Speaker 3: it gets that deep.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, because you said recently and as you
Speaker 1: brought up the last two weeks, you said, you said
Speaker 1: you felt like you really messed up this time. And
Speaker 1: I was like, you know, and you were saying that
Speaker 1: it affected your mental health, right, like it really felt
Speaker 1: like it affected your mental health. And I'm like, why
Speaker 1: did you feel that way? And in what way does
Speaker 1: it affect your mental health?
Speaker 3: I already kind of like explained the situation, you know,
Speaker 3: in that video, but it was it was this thing
Speaker 3: that artistically, it was just supposed to be like I'm returning,
Speaker 3: like I'm back, I'm back like him, you know what
Speaker 3: I mean, And it turned into this whole thing where
Speaker 3: it was me trying to dunk on Christians or something
Speaker 3: and that was never like what it was never And
Speaker 3: then and then then I looked at the video with
Speaker 3: me like eating like the communion or whatnot, and I
Speaker 3: was like, Okay, this looks really bad on paper. This
Speaker 3: thing that I thought was just like a little jokey,
Speaker 3: fun video. I also had to think about, like how
Speaker 3: many of my family members are like ch like my
Speaker 3: grandmothers and stuff and you know, like aunties and things
Speaker 3: like that.
Speaker 2: I'm like, wow, like do they see this? Is that too?
Speaker 2: If they do, like you know, that's that's really messed up.
Speaker 2: And you know, it made me sad.
Speaker 3: And then you know, on top of that, like seeing
Speaker 3: like actual fans like turn and say like, well, why
Speaker 3: is he doing this? Why does he keep messing with
Speaker 3: these people? And I think another thing was messages got
Speaker 3: turned around because one got turned around the idea of
Speaker 3: Montero called me by his name, which is me like
Speaker 3: taking ownership of this place. Everybody tells me I'm going
Speaker 3: to go, and that was just turned into oh, he's
Speaker 3: teaching Christianity a lesson, when that's not the case, you know.
Speaker 3: And now this thing was like, oh, I'm Jesus, I'm
Speaker 3: back like Jesus, which is if anything it's it's it's
Speaker 3: like a homage to Jesus. Like this guy that made
Speaker 3: the greatest comeback of all time. And I'm not the
Speaker 3: first artist to do such a thing. That message like
Speaker 3: turned around and I didn't know, I didn't know how
Speaker 3: to do anything with it.
Speaker 2: It wasn't my chaos anymore.
Speaker 3: It was the world's and anything anybody said was true
Speaker 3: because that's who I am as a person. I'm this
Speaker 3: troll and I want to make these people mad, and
Speaker 3: so everybody can run with that, and there's nothing I
Speaker 3: can do about that. I can say as many things
Speaker 3: as I want, but knowing my history, they look right,
Speaker 3: I look wrong.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, I think the way you addressed it, and
Speaker 1: you're addressing it right now is helpful and useful to
Speaker 1: people because I think it came across very clearly to me,
Speaker 1: and it does today too, even sitting with you, Like,
Speaker 1: it's not something you're trying to disrespect or mark. But
Speaker 1: for people to feel that way, what would you say
Speaker 1: to them? Like, for someone who feels that that is
Speaker 1: what it is, how would you do to them?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: What would you want them to hear? It's probably a
Speaker 1: better question.
Speaker 2: You know, what's you know, what's crazy?
Speaker 3: I feel like I've said, you know, I've apologize for
Speaker 3: the communiting on that note. Everything else I'm not sorry about.
Speaker 3: I don't I don't think I did anything wrong, you
Speaker 3: know what I mean. And it's like I've also been
Speaker 3: making like a lot of like gospel music, like to
Speaker 3: to like God and like like my spiritual side, and
Speaker 3: I hate that this whole thing is turned into like
Speaker 3: a mockery, which it isn't you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you for sharing that. I appreciate it. And
Speaker 1: I think there's also like I was gonna actually maybe
Speaker 1: maybe that's a good thing to talk about it, Like
Speaker 1: obviously your father's gospel singer, right, Yeah, Well, I would
Speaker 1: love for you to talk about your relationship with your
Speaker 1: father to give kind of context to the conversation we're
Speaker 1: having right now, because I'm not sure how many people
Speaker 1: are aware of your deep Christian roots. So walk us
Speaker 1: through some of your relationship with your father and how
Speaker 1: that's evolved, which comes across in the documentary.
Speaker 3: For sure, I feel like me and my father have
Speaker 3: grown closer as I got older, because the version of
Speaker 3: me that he saw wasn't really me. It was the
Speaker 3: version that I presented to him. So as i've like
Speaker 3: come out and whatnot, like even before I came out
Speaker 3: though my dad, well, when I did initially came out
Speaker 3: to when I initially came out to my dad, he
Speaker 3: was just like, you know, the devil maybe tempting me
Speaker 3: or whatnot. And it's definitely taking its own journey because now,
Speaker 3: like my dad, it's like, yo, do you have a
Speaker 3: boyfriend kind of vibe, like you could tell me about
Speaker 3: that stuff, like you can let me know that, you know.
Speaker 2: He even came to me.
Speaker 3: He even came with me to like a gay club
Speaker 3: with like my brothers and sisters one time, just like
Speaker 3: dancing and stuff. It's it's been a complete, like one I.
Speaker 1: Feel like because from going from you know, coming out
Speaker 1: to your parents and your father saying yeah, you know
Speaker 1: the I mean that is a really extreme obviously reaction
Speaker 1: on one end, and now coming with you to a
Speaker 1: gay club, like, how does that transition even a how
Speaker 1: does that transition happen? B How does that feel?
Speaker 3: I feel like it was an overtime thing. And also
Speaker 3: him like learning me as a person, Like I feel
Speaker 3: like him seeing me in interviews and stuff like that
Speaker 3: was like the same for everybody else, Like every I
Speaker 3: feel like the entire world started to see me. My
Speaker 3: brothers and sisters, my family, everybody started.
Speaker 2: To see me at the same time.
Speaker 3: You know what, I mean, I feel like before that,
Speaker 3: I was just very like meek about everything. So over time,
Speaker 3: you know, with call Me by Your Name coming out
Speaker 3: and like the entire like Montero album like Rollout and
Speaker 3: me inviting him and like listening to my songs on
Speaker 3: my last album, that's how he learned about me. And
Speaker 3: I feel like him hearing me from my own mouth
Speaker 3: and like in the world and seeing me in the
Speaker 3: world like.
Speaker 2: Help him understand me more.
Speaker 3: And I feel like over time he was like, Okay,
Speaker 3: I understand now, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: It feels like you've also always had this compassion for
Speaker 1: people who don't always understand you, Like even when you
Speaker 1: say when you when you when you first told your
Speaker 1: father and he had that reaction of maybe the devil's
Speaker 1: tempting you, you actually understood that, Like there was a
Speaker 1: part of you that went, oh, I get that. And
Speaker 1: then there's other parts in the documentary true when you
Speaker 1: have protesters outside and again you're like, I'm actually happy
Speaker 1: that they have something that they belong to and they
Speaker 1: stamp for Like there's a there's a compassion in context
Speaker 1: that you seem to have even when you're the one
Speaker 1: who's trying to express yourself. You can see how it's
Speaker 1: hard for people to digest that. Would that be fair
Speaker 1: to say for sure?
Speaker 3: I mean the truth is I feel like, over like
Speaker 3: the last couple of years, I've learned that everybody is
Speaker 3: against you.
Speaker 2: Was just like against you.
Speaker 3: You know, there's a lot of like learn things, you know,
Speaker 3: a lot of things over time people have latched onto
Speaker 3: and in their brains it's hard to.
Speaker 2: Like go of.
Speaker 3: So they see you as this way because of something
Speaker 3: that was, you know, far beyond their control of things
Speaker 3: they've been taught to, they've like grew up, you know,
Speaker 3: like my dad has been taught and like shoved in
Speaker 3: his head, you know, and everybody in the world, like
Speaker 3: we all have like ideals like put into our brains.
Speaker 2: And I don't want to like try to be a
Speaker 2: thing where it's easy to paint people who don't like.
Speaker 3: You as like haters or just like evil and like
Speaker 3: biggot and whatnot. But it's like these people just genuinely
Speaker 3: don't understand you, and inside of their mind, like it's
Speaker 3: it's like fear, you know, it's like fear, and it's
Speaker 3: it's like discomfort, and there's all these things that the
Speaker 3: human mind wants to run from, you know, and I
Speaker 3: understand that because I still have those things.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we all see things in others that we don't understand.
Speaker 1: And as soon as we don't understand something, the most
Speaker 1: human emotion is to feel fear. Any sort of change
Speaker 1: makes us feel fear, any sort of uncertainty. So if
Speaker 1: someone we look at someone and we've uncertain about them,
Speaker 1: it generally sparks fear. That's how we've almost been conditioned
Speaker 1: as humans to just feel fear. And so as you've
Speaker 1: said before, you said, some people see me as the
Speaker 1: satanic devil that is going to ruin the world. Like
Speaker 1: when you say things like that, what are you actually
Speaker 1: trying to do when people see you that way? Like
Speaker 1: what I'm interested in is when people see you that way,
Speaker 1: what are you actually trying to portray that sometimes gets
Speaker 1: seen that way.
Speaker 3: It's more so taking all these things that I believe
Speaker 3: have been used to like demonize me and a lot
Speaker 3: of other people, and these conspiracies, and it says, Okay,
Speaker 3: this is what this looks like.
Speaker 2: Is this what you actually want to see? You know
Speaker 2: what I mean?
Speaker 3: Is this who you think I am? Okay, I'm going
Speaker 3: to do those things want to do those things. You think,
Speaker 3: I'm like this someonet to do these things.
Speaker 1: When you're building a new album, building a new song,
Speaker 1: making a music video, what's your artistic process? Like where
Speaker 1: does it start? Like like what happens? Is it you're
Speaker 1: taking notes? Is it journaling? Is it working with your team,
Speaker 1: your dancers? Like how does how does new work get created?
Speaker 1: In Montero's world?
Speaker 2: Can we pass for Yeah?
Speaker 1: Of course we can, of course again Yeah, okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm with you. You want, of course? Of course you again, Yeah, absolutely,
Speaker 1: of course you can. Of course you take your time.
Speaker 2: M h.
Speaker 1: What would you like to say? Where is it? Where
Speaker 1: is your heart?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 3: First I'll say what I say out there. I'm trying
Speaker 3: to be authentic and say, you know, words from my heart,
Speaker 3: but you know, I feel like it ends up sounding rehearsed,
Speaker 3: and I guess, yeah, I'm trying to get there. But yeah,
Speaker 3: I'm doing my best. But we can move from We
Speaker 3: can move from.
Speaker 1: This, yeah yeah yeah. And and all you could ever
Speaker 1: be asked for is doing your best. Can't ask for
Speaker 1: anything more. And I think we're all in that, We're
Speaker 1: kind of all in that pressure of trying to be
Speaker 1: authentic selves. But then you know, there's that there's that
Speaker 1: famous meme on social media that I see all the
Speaker 1: time that says, society says, be yourself, and then society says, no,
Speaker 1: not like that. Yeah, and I think you know, we
Speaker 1: all kind of spend a.
Speaker 2: Month, so that's authentic, that's true.
Speaker 3: Yeah, your society doesn't really want like people to be
Speaker 3: like themselves and stuff like that, just like to a degree.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, we want everyone to be authentic in a
Speaker 1: way that makes us feel good.
Speaker 3: The truth is, if everyone was authentic, oh boy, this
Speaker 3: world would be insane.
Speaker 1: What would it be like?
Speaker 3: It would have some great things, but definitely like some
Speaker 3: terrible things too.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so it's probably better that everyone's a little It's
Speaker 1: an interesting Authenticity is an interesting conversation.
Speaker 3: I think it depends on what you see is better
Speaker 3: like positive and light does that automatically equals like better
Speaker 3: like because it's I feel like some dark things help
Speaker 3: bring light, you know, balance.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, it's almost like I feel like even
Speaker 1: internally when you're doing.
Speaker 3: The work, shadow work and stuff like that, Yeah, you
Speaker 3: have to go through a lot of darkness. You know,
Speaker 3: you gotta understand like what you are capable of and
Speaker 3: and like who you are and decide not to do
Speaker 3: you like like.
Speaker 2: That that bad that you could do?
Speaker 1: You know? Yeah, do you do a lot of in
Speaker 1: the work? Is that kind of I know, you became
Speaker 1: spiritual and you got involved in a bit of your
Speaker 1: own spirituality. What does that look like exploring your own spirituality?
Speaker 1: What does that look like? In your definition? In your words?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I do a lot of like in a work
Speaker 3: and understanding like who I am, and but also like
Speaker 3: the and like trying to let go of the pressures
Speaker 3: of I guess what I feel like. Society a lot
Speaker 3: of times will want me to be, you know, like
Speaker 3: this big, brave like champion for the community, which you
Speaker 3: know I can't be at all times, you know what
Speaker 3: I mean. I just want to do me sometimes of course,
Speaker 3: like I want to do what I can, but I
Speaker 3: wanted to come naturally.
Speaker 1: And is there a lot of pressure sometimes it feels
Speaker 1: like to always have to be I was joking about
Speaker 1: it with someone else the other day, like whenever I'm
Speaker 1: around someone, I always feel the pressure that I have
Speaker 1: to say something wise because because that's the kind of
Speaker 1: you know, and so like when I'm around something, it's
Speaker 1: kind of like being around a comedian and you they
Speaker 1: have to be funny.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like, yeah, I think it's exactly that. I think
Speaker 2: it's exactly that.
Speaker 3: Even like with the funny things sometimes you know, because
Speaker 3: I'm an online control and stuff like I don't want
Speaker 3: to be funny right now.
Speaker 2: I want to I want to I don't know, I.
Speaker 3: Want to eat this food and and you know, not
Speaker 3: really talk to you.
Speaker 2: Want to scroll on my phone a little bit and
Speaker 2: eat this food.
Speaker 3: But the whole thing, like even with like Montero still
Speaker 3: like riding on my back, like we're talking about it
Speaker 3: right now and be like featuring the video and stuff,
Speaker 3: and it's like that's just what I want to do.
Speaker 2: It wasn't.
Speaker 3: I'm not always trying to like make a deep message.
Speaker 3: I guess, like I guess, yeah, if that makes sense.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So sometimes you're just trying to have fun.
Speaker 2: Not even just trying to have fun. It's just a
Speaker 2: lot of things I do.
Speaker 3: Most things through my art are for me and just
Speaker 3: thankfully other people can see it is helping them.
Speaker 1: It's coming as a form of self healing and self expression,
Speaker 1: and then if it connects with people.
Speaker 2: They like I pray it connects with you.
Speaker 1: Yes, but.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm not I'm not trying to be
Speaker 2: a martyr if that makes sense.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean Rick Rubin was here a few months
Speaker 1: ago and he was saying something similar. He was saying
Speaker 1: that he thinks that true art and true creativity is
Speaker 1: not made for consumption.
Speaker 2: Yeah, in that.
Speaker 1: It is consumed and it is loved and it is
Speaker 1: connected with, but it wasn't created, thinking well, how we
Speaker 1: going to find the thing that connects? It's creating something
Speaker 1: that comes from within. Would you agree with that? Does
Speaker 1: that you agree completely? I like Rick Rubin?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I like his book only skim only like
Speaker 3: skim through it, but I like it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a great But did you when do you
Speaker 1: feel your connected to your most authentic three sixties self? Like?
Speaker 1: What do you do when you feel that way? Because
Speaker 1: I know in the documentary it seems like when you're
Speaker 1: with your dances who all to your friends. That felt
Speaker 1: like a form of self expression and connectedness where you
Speaker 1: feel like you can let go and be funny and
Speaker 1: be larger than life and be creative. Would you say
Speaker 1: that's where it comes through?
Speaker 3: I'd say, if anything, it's when I'm creating music and
Speaker 3: I guess that's like the thing that an artist should
Speaker 3: say or whatnot. But it's the truth. When I'm like
Speaker 3: making a song and when I can completely like let
Speaker 3: go of how it's going to be received, I just
Speaker 3: feel like one, you know, I feel like everything has
Speaker 3: come to me. All my energy is not like all
Speaker 3: out into the world like every like I feel like
Speaker 3: just one being like connected to everything. It's a feeling
Speaker 3: like I can't describe. Like no amount of success will
Speaker 3: ever like equate to it. I don't know if I'll
Speaker 3: ever like find love that's strong. I hope so.
Speaker 1: But but yeah, that's the I think that's the thing
Speaker 1: we're looking for, right that we're all searching for, like
Speaker 1: and and it's almost like you can't manufacture it, like
Speaker 1: you can't engineer it. Either happens or it doesn't.
Speaker 2: Fake it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you feel it sometimes and sometimes you don't.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you said you wanted to stay the acceptable gay
Speaker 1: person at first, and you didn't want to be the
Speaker 1: one that shoves it down everyone's throats. And then now
Speaker 1: we're talking about again being authentic. I think we're all
Speaker 1: always trying to we're always trying to play again to
Speaker 1: what people around us wanting to be and then and
Speaker 1: then it comes out, how did you kind of go, well, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to do that. I am gonna allow
Speaker 1: myself to free myself.
Speaker 3: I feel like it's a push and pull, you know,
Speaker 3: because of course there's still parts of me that, you know,
Speaker 3: want to please the people around me, you know. I mean,
Speaker 3: I feel like that's the whole idea of like something
Speaker 3: being successful. A lot of the times, we got to
Speaker 3: make sure it's packaged enough to be authentic but also
Speaker 3: able to be like digestible at the same time.
Speaker 1: I almost feel like that's what we're all trying to exist.
Speaker 1: You said something that resonated with me that I was
Speaker 1: going to read something from f Scott Fitzgerald, and so
Speaker 1: he has this beautiful quote that I'm fully obsessed with
Speaker 1: right now. And when I look at you as an individual,
Speaker 1: this is and you can reflect on whether you how
Speaker 1: you feel about it. So he said that the test
Speaker 1: of a first rate intelligence is the ability to hold
Speaker 1: two opposing ideas in the mind at the same time
Speaker 1: and still retain the ability to function. In his words,
Speaker 1: one should, for example, be able to see that things
Speaker 1: are hopeless, yet be determined to make them otherwise. But
Speaker 1: the way I'm reflecting on you is this idea of like,
Speaker 1: you want to be doing things that are for the self,
Speaker 1: but then at the same time it needs to connect
Speaker 1: to people, Like you want to be able to be
Speaker 1: who you are with your friends and your family, and
Speaker 1: you realize that sometimes you got to tone down parts
Speaker 1: of yourself, but then sometimes you don't want to. Right,
Speaker 1: We're constantly trying to All of us are trying to
Speaker 1: be two things almost, Yeah, for sure. Why is it
Speaker 1: so hard?
Speaker 2: Then?
Speaker 3: I don't know, And I feel like that goes back
Speaker 3: into the whole thing of like we are like not
Speaker 3: in control completely of things like no matter what you do,
Speaker 3: how much preparation or whatnot, it's not something you control,
Speaker 3: like people going to love stuff or they won't.
Speaker 1: Absolutely you said about love there, you mentioned how does
Speaker 1: finding love play a role in your life when you know.
Speaker 3: I always this year is the first year since twenty
Speaker 3: twenty one that I'm going to be open to like
Speaker 3: finding love because I was kind of very closed off
Speaker 3: to it. It's like no, no, no, I need to focus.
Speaker 2: I have I.
Speaker 3: Have really really big dreams and I don't want to
Speaker 3: share with everybody. Yeah, I have really really big dreams,
Speaker 3: and it's like I feel like anything that I can
Speaker 3: can see as a distraction can get in my way.
Speaker 3: But at the same time, like that whole contradicting thing,
Speaker 3: love can help inspire you to make life even greater
Speaker 3: art But but you know, I wanted to just have
Speaker 3: my like phase of.
Speaker 2: Being young and having fun with people, if you know
Speaker 2: what I mean.
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, I mean yeah, but don't you think again,
Speaker 1: it's it's interesting, right, Like it is daunting, I agree
Speaker 1: with you, and yet I find that most people, of course,
Speaker 1: everyone's have a good time. I'm like that too, Like
Speaker 1: I love laughing, I love having a great time. And
Speaker 1: at the same time, again talking about the paradox or
Speaker 1: the contradiction, I also want to have meaningful connections because
Speaker 1: the last thing I want to do is have a superficial,
Speaker 1: artificial conversation with someone. So it's like this, It's funny
Speaker 1: how the things we find daunting are often things that
Speaker 1: even that person's kind of yearning for. Like I don't
Speaker 1: think anyone's ever had a really deeply meaningful conversation and
Speaker 1: then walked away from it, and that was a waste
Speaker 1: of time, right, you know, me you're never gonna say that, like,
Speaker 1: you're never gonna you know, Like, I had a dinner
Speaker 1: with someone in life recently, and there was a group
Speaker 1: of us in a similar industry and everyone was being
Speaker 1: vulnerable and we were laughing and connecting, but everyone's sharing
Speaker 1: their pains and we walked away and no one was
Speaker 1: walking away going, God, that was the worst dinner. Everyone's gonna, Yeah,
Speaker 1: everyone's gonna. That's one of the best dinners we've ever had.
Speaker 1: And I find that with artists it's hard to have that.
Speaker 1: I guess, like it's hard to find that, And so
Speaker 1: do you do you feel like the dance is a
Speaker 1: way you find out like is that a place of
Speaker 1: safety and a place of joy?
Speaker 2: I feelt that's definitely a place of joy.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And I don't get super serious with them or barely
Speaker 3: like anyone for that matter, you know me, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: for sure. You know, I feel like I shared most
Speaker 3: of my therapy sessions at home alone with myself and
Speaker 3: my cats in the distance. But yeah, like talking out
Speaker 3: loud to myself when all the voices in my head
Speaker 3: are saying like the most crazy, terrible things you would
Speaker 3: ever hear person say, it's useful it's helpful.
Speaker 1: How ridiculous can the voice inside your head get like what?
Speaker 2: How far ridiculous?
Speaker 3: Asn't like you know the time that I told you about,
Speaker 3: like the hotel incident. Like it's easy when you're like
Speaker 3: down or in like a in like a hard place
Speaker 3: for all those voices in your head to.
Speaker 2: Like gang up. It's like, okay, this is the time.
Speaker 3: It's like everybody go, go go, and talking out loud
Speaker 3: can be that saving phrase of a factor, like no,
Speaker 3: this isn't that bad, this thing isn't that terrible.
Speaker 2: We're going to get out of this thing.
Speaker 3: We've been through worse, we will go through worse, So
Speaker 3: we got to make sure we get out of this
Speaker 3: thing so we can know about the worst, you know
Speaker 3: what I mean?
Speaker 2: So yeah, like that that helps a lot.
Speaker 1: That's a great technique. Yeah, I fully agree. I think
Speaker 1: the when you're lost in your head and in the silence,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, you have no idea which voice to follow,
Speaker 1: which voice to let lead.
Speaker 3: It's the worst when you like, oh, this terrible voice
Speaker 3: has a point, you know. It's like this and this
Speaker 3: one's saying something maybe I should listen. Yeah, it's like no,
Speaker 3: he's not like, that's a terrible idea.
Speaker 1: Have you ever used that technique where you label certain
Speaker 1: voices that you see is recurring and you give them
Speaker 1: a name, And in a way, because they say that
Speaker 1: that's a great technique of you're in a critic like
Speaker 1: giving it a name, giving it a personality. You have
Speaker 1: you noticed certain ones that keep coming back.
Speaker 3: I don't give them a name per se, But as
Speaker 3: I said, like, I'm a spiritual being and I feel
Speaker 3: like just like me, like I have my thoughts, my
Speaker 3: wants and my purpose. That voice in my head was
Speaker 3: you know, created by the universe. It has a job,
Speaker 3: and I think its job is to give me just
Speaker 3: enough to fight against you know what I mean. Yeah,
Speaker 3: So it's like I don't hate this voice. It's like
Speaker 3: you're part of me.
Speaker 2: We're one.
Speaker 3: We're together, We're in this together. You're doing your thing.
Speaker 3: I'm trying to do my thing, you know, but I
Speaker 3: can't listen. I can't listen to you on this.
Speaker 1: That's powerful, that the ability to not Yeah, the more
Speaker 1: we right, there's that famous saying that says the more
Speaker 1: you resist, it persists, like it just keeps persistent if
Speaker 1: you keep kind of butting heads against it, And what
Speaker 1: you're saying is actually I don't hate it. I just
Speaker 1: I recognize its part. I see, I know that's that's
Speaker 1: your thing. That's literally why you're here. I can't be
Speaker 1: mad at you for fulfilling your purpose. Like, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you is that you do have that quality, like that
Speaker 1: ability to recognize that everything has its place and everyone
Speaker 1: has their place. Where does that come from?
Speaker 2: There?
Speaker 3: Compassionate like parts of me trying to make sense of everything.
Speaker 3: I feel like it's so easy to label everything is
Speaker 3: as like a as like a demon or just like
Speaker 3: a like a terrible just like dark thing. But it's
Speaker 3: like this thing, it's it exists, It has emotions and
Speaker 3: it has feelings just like you, and it's just trying
Speaker 3: to do his thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's this one statement that reminds me of what
Speaker 1: you're saying now. You said, people feel a lot of
Speaker 1: things about me, But boy do I love this kid
Speaker 1: and the duck. How is how is that journey of
Speaker 1: I love this little montera, this kid inside of me?
Speaker 1: How is that developed?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: What is that taken for you to get to a
Speaker 1: place of being able to say that, like, I love
Speaker 1: this kid? Because I think that's a journey we're all.
Speaker 3: On, I think, and it's like something everybody knows, but
Speaker 3: we forget a lot. But we're literally just all like
Speaker 3: the same person and like a different life path, you
Speaker 3: know what I mean. And once I can really just
Speaker 3: understand and recognize that every single person has like these
Speaker 3: thoughts or a form of like these thoughts that I
Speaker 3: have in my head, I know I shouldn't like feel
Speaker 3: bad about where I am or what I think, and
Speaker 3: you know what I'm doing, because that's what this version
Speaker 3: of me is doing. Like that's that's where I am,
Speaker 3: and I have to love him through it and like
Speaker 3: understand that he's going to make these, you know, mistakes,
Speaker 3: and he's going to have accomplishments, and he's going to
Speaker 3: have great times. He's going to have bad times, and
Speaker 3: he's going to do amazing things, and he's going to
Speaker 3: do terrible things.
Speaker 2: And it's like I have to allow him to grow.
Speaker 3: Through that and me joining the world or anybody else
Speaker 3: and being hard on this kid is not going to help.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was just saying the other day, I was
Speaker 1: saying to someone, you can't guilt yourself into growth. It's impossible,
Speaker 1: Like you can't shame yourself or embarrass yourself into becoming
Speaker 1: better that When was the last time you made someone
Speaker 1: feel guilty and they were like, yeah, I'm going to
Speaker 1: be the best person in the world now, Like it
Speaker 1: doesn't work that way.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think cliches it is, like, you know, love
Speaker 2: is really the answer for that.
Speaker 1: How does it feel? I know you're going to go
Speaker 1: today or tomorrow to show your family the documentary, Like
Speaker 1: how does that make you feel to be for them
Speaker 1: to be able to see this?
Speaker 3: I think you want to be very like self conscious
Speaker 3: you know the whole time, Like yeah, just like oh.
Speaker 2: My god, Like what are they thinking about this?
Speaker 3: You know, I've said there's this documentary that they've never
Speaker 3: heard me. Wow, like say you know, or my perspective
Speaker 3: on like a lot of different things and even them,
Speaker 3: you know, talking about them and how I feel close
Speaker 3: or not close with them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a lot although it comes, Yeah, it comes across.
Speaker 1: I'm hoping in a way that they can digest it.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of love you have for your nephew. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and your relationship of him not wanting to see you differently,
Speaker 1: how is how is that relationship like progressed? And because
Speaker 1: how old is he he's young.
Speaker 2: He's eleven, he's about to be twelve this year.
Speaker 3: I feel like, you know, he's one of the only
Speaker 3: people in my family that calls me like twenty four
Speaker 3: to seven. And I just really like appreciate that because
Speaker 3: you know, before they get to like their age where
Speaker 3: they're just like.
Speaker 2: Too cool and whatnot.
Speaker 3: I'm happy to have like that person that's still I
Speaker 3: don't know, is inspired by me or still like loves me,
Speaker 3: like all the same.
Speaker 2: And yeah, yeah throughout everything, what.
Speaker 1: Would he say to you when he's calling you up?
Speaker 1: Like what's that? What is he doing? What's a twelve
Speaker 1: year old? You know?
Speaker 2: Kids?
Speaker 3: Like he will call and kind of just like say
Speaker 3: you know, what's up and then just beal like silent
Speaker 3: for a minute, and then it was like, yeah, I've
Speaker 3: been on Fortnite and like stuff, like just like kids stuff.
Speaker 3: And I love that it makes things much smaller because
Speaker 3: in my head where I have all these things and
Speaker 3: I feel like are the big, grandest like problems of
Speaker 3: my life and blah blah blah. You know, he's he's
Speaker 3: like in school, like trying to get his grade up
Speaker 3: in science, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: It's like these things. Yeah. It keeps me, It keeps
Speaker 2: me like down to earth.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. It's like when my mom calls me up
Speaker 1: and I've been doing you know whatever crazy thing and
Speaker 1: then she's like, have you eaten today? That's what? Yeah,
Speaker 1: She's like you had your lunch? Like have you taken
Speaker 1: your vitamins? Like that's what say to it? And I'm like, Mom,
Speaker 1: like I'm at the White House or whatever it is.
Speaker 1: She's just like, yeah, it's like it's the best thing though.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: It keeps you grounded, keeps you connected, and You're right like,
Speaker 1: so often we just start getting lost in this you know,
Speaker 1: this big vision of what we're doing and what we're creating,
Speaker 1: and it kind of just pops the bubble, like you know,
Speaker 1: they come along and this.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's that makes it much like smaller and easier
Speaker 3: to maintain in the way.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, you said something about the family that really resonated.
Speaker 1: You said, how can we get everyone in a house
Speaker 1: within five years without me paying for it? And I
Speaker 1: was like, you know, what does that new level of
Speaker 1: relationship of desire mean to you?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: What is what are you trying to create there? Or
Speaker 1: where does that thought come from?
Speaker 3: I feel like that opens a bigger like question or
Speaker 3: like current like problem in my life. I'm like not
Speaker 3: a little boy anymore. Like I'm a grown man and
Speaker 3: I have to take on like this this like leadership role.
Speaker 3: And I feel like once you break society down everything,
Speaker 3: it's still like tribes and whatnot. And I have tribes,
Speaker 3: you know, like like on my family, like like this
Speaker 3: is my tribe, you know, like my team around me
Speaker 3: and my career, like this is my tribe. I have
Speaker 3: to get in the front of this and try to
Speaker 3: figure things out and like try to understand, like how
Speaker 3: do these people work best? Like how can I get you,
Speaker 3: you know, to doing your best thing? And how can
Speaker 3: I get you to doing your best thing so we
Speaker 3: can all progress because of course, you know, I got
Speaker 3: to get myself right first before I do anything. But
Speaker 3: it's like also I have to understand, like how can
Speaker 3: I help you. I'm in this place. I believe the
Speaker 3: universe sitting me here to try to try to fix things.
Speaker 3: You know, It's like how do I build your confidence up?
Speaker 3: Like with my brothers and sisters, Like how do I
Speaker 3: build your confidence up?
Speaker 2: Us?
Speaker 3: All these people that grew up in these places where
Speaker 3: we've been hold over and over in our life, like
Speaker 3: even each other and our family members and the world
Speaker 3: that were not like, how do I get you the
Speaker 3: confidence to chase your own dream or if your dream's
Speaker 3: not something like grand grand you know, how do I
Speaker 3: get you to I don't know, be on my team
Speaker 3: and just something where you're happy. And it's so hard
Speaker 3: to get people organized and organized things and realize that
Speaker 3: this is something I have to do because if I
Speaker 3: don't do it, it may not get.
Speaker 2: Done, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: H Yeah, but yeah, I'm at that place where I'm
Speaker 3: trying to figure that out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I can understand that it's hard because you've got
Speaker 1: so many roles on your team. Then there's family, there's
Speaker 1: friends coming up. I mean, it's hard, and it's hard
Speaker 1: to put everyone on too. I mean I've spoken to
Speaker 1: so many people who you know today, like top musicians, artists, actors,
Speaker 1: who've had that years ago where friends wanted to move
Speaker 1: from their hometown and come and join the team, and
Speaker 1: then sometimes they didn't want to put in the world,
Speaker 1: and sometimes they did and sometimes they made it. Like
Speaker 1: I know a friend of mine who's this person used
Speaker 1: to see people at these shows thirty years ago and
Speaker 1: today she's directing documentaries with him, right, And it's like
Speaker 1: a beautiful journey and it's amazing for them to have.
Speaker 1: But then on the other end, you've also got friends
Speaker 1: who are given a route out, but then they let
Speaker 1: the money and the fame and the drugs and alcohol
Speaker 1: and everything consume them. And you recognize it's almost like
Speaker 1: you can only give people opportunities, but they've got to
Speaker 1: take them for themselves.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's that's hard to like come to grips with,
Speaker 3: you know, like you can give us many like speeches
Speaker 3: or or talks or like as much guidance as you want,
Speaker 3: but it's just so hard to help some people up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it is, it is. But that's something that feels
Speaker 1: important to you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, something that feels important is also something that you know,
Speaker 3: it crushes you a little bit, you know, back to
Speaker 3: that whole like factor of you can't control this thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can't. There's nothing you can do about this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like this this is not a question
Speaker 1: of me and you can solve here at all, because
Speaker 1: it is almost the question of life. But it's like,
Speaker 1: how do we how do we deal with a lack
Speaker 1: of control? Every day? Like, how do we deal with
Speaker 1: the fact that we can't control things? So how do
Speaker 1: you deal with the fact that you can't control everything
Speaker 1: in all of these how have you have you found
Speaker 1: any coping mechanisms?
Speaker 3: I have, oh cool, and I have one main coping
Speaker 3: mechanism and it's so silly, but it helps me through
Speaker 3: life a lot. And it's and it's like, dude, you're
Speaker 3: a gummy bear, and it doesn't make sense.
Speaker 1: I love gummy bears. I'm listening, but.
Speaker 2: It's like all of this it's in our head.
Speaker 3: It's all like a journey and in the grand scheme
Speaker 3: of things, as this individual, I am just a gummy bear.
Speaker 3: It's not that serious. It's not that deep key moving.
Speaker 3: For of course, it's a contradiction because it's everything to me.
Speaker 3: It means everything to me. It's it's it's my whole being.
Speaker 3: But it's like, but I'm also a gummy bear, so
Speaker 3: it doesn't really matter if this thing, you know, it
Speaker 3: doesn't matter, like, dude, relax, you know.
Speaker 2: So it's like a fight between those two.
Speaker 3: But that me being a gummy bear is like one
Speaker 3: of the only things that's going to get me through
Speaker 3: this really hard thing.
Speaker 2: That i'm fighting, fighting or facing you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I like that. I like that. I've never
Speaker 1: had it put that way, so I like it. I
Speaker 1: like that. It's silly. It's a yeah, the idea of
Speaker 1: embracing our own insignificance. It's like, we have our significance.
Speaker 1: We know what we're doing is important, but at the
Speaker 1: same time, we're going to embrace the insignificance so irrelevance.
Speaker 2: Like yeah, like relax, Like, yeah, it's not that serious.
Speaker 2: It's super serious, but it's not that serious.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a funny conversation inside for sure. Yeah. There's
Speaker 1: another thing that came up where you said that if
Speaker 1: I settle into a house, I feel like I'll have
Speaker 1: to be there forever. There's this idea of like, you know,
Speaker 1: there's a shot in the documentary with all your suitcases
Speaker 1: there and you're like not sure about the couch, and
Speaker 1: I was wondering, like, where does the fear of being
Speaker 1: somewhere forever come from?
Speaker 3: I think it's like the whole idea of like becoming comfortable,
Speaker 3: you know. And of course I do have like couches
Speaker 3: and stuff. Now I have like a new couch and
Speaker 3: I have like my cats, which I was very like
Speaker 3: hesitant to do. But you know, I was very afraid
Speaker 3: of getting like super comfortable with my like Hollywood life.
Speaker 3: You know, I have like my house and stuff, and
Speaker 3: now I'm going to get all my Grammys over here,
Speaker 3: and I'm going to put my couch right there, and
Speaker 3: here's my mona least at painting.
Speaker 2: Like stuff like that. I was very fearful that once
Speaker 2: I did that, I'm just going to like relax all
Speaker 2: the time.
Speaker 3: But now I see it definitely, it's like I want
Speaker 3: to relax sometimes to keep myself seene. And I am
Speaker 3: going to like put my house together because there's nothing
Speaker 3: wrong with that. And I have to live because, as
Speaker 3: I said, like this goes by so fast. I'm twenty four,
Speaker 3: like going on twenty five, and I feel like like
Speaker 3: two days ago I was nineteen.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like your home has to be a
Speaker 1: sanctuary for you, whatever that means for you, like it
Speaker 1: fiells and fuels you up for the crazy life you
Speaker 1: live because I'm sure you're going on tour again, you
Speaker 1: will go on multiple tours across your lifetime. Like the
Speaker 1: time that you are spending there, you want it to
Speaker 1: be comfortable you want it to be re energizing. What
Speaker 1: does that look to you? What does rest look like
Speaker 1: for you?
Speaker 2: Now?
Speaker 1: Like what is taking a break look like to you?
Speaker 1: Because you are someone who's ambitious and hard working and driven.
Speaker 1: But now to get back up on that.
Speaker 3: I think I have one main thing and it's super simple.
Speaker 3: It's going to see a movie. I like to go
Speaker 3: and see a movie, like I don't know, some once,
Speaker 3: maybe twice, sometimes even three times, like a week, and
Speaker 3: that's like my escape is a moment or like my
Speaker 3: moment of like rest or away from everything, you know,
Speaker 3: like during my time, you know, when I dropped the
Speaker 3: artwork for my last single, and like it was like
Speaker 3: a hell escape. I went to see this what we
Speaker 3: call Migration, which like this animated movie about like birds,
Speaker 3: like flying places, and it's just like this fun, like
Speaker 3: childlike movie. And I was there. I was in that movie.
Speaker 3: That was my rest, that was my piece, that was
Speaker 3: my since you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love that. I love going to
Speaker 1: the movies too. Was that the most recent thing you saw?
Speaker 1: Was there anything else that kind of it's been the
Speaker 1: best movie you've seen this year? With the oscars are
Speaker 1: coming up to I want to.
Speaker 2: See like Poor Things, but it was very dark. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but very dark.
Speaker 1: What was yeah? What was it like? I haven't seen
Speaker 1: it yet.
Speaker 2: What was it like?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: It was like emm a Stone just giving like an
Speaker 3: amazing performance. It was also like this movie that was
Speaker 3: so weird, nothing like what I've seen before, like they
Speaker 3: like ari astor like vibes, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, I'm glad you're not giving away.
Speaker 2: I really want to I don't want to give away.
Speaker 1: I really want to see it. Yeah, I'm looking forward
Speaker 1: to I love going to movies too. I'm a big
Speaker 1: big I loved Oppenheim a last Yeah have you seen
Speaker 1: that yet?
Speaker 2: I saw Oppenheimer, but it wasn't for me. It wasn't
Speaker 2: for me.
Speaker 1: I'm a Nolan. I'm a Nolan fan. Christ Nolan found
Speaker 1: in like every movie he makes. I'm like, I love it.
Speaker 1: When well Opene might have got more of TenneT was
Speaker 1: the one that was the hardest one to get than
Speaker 1: if you ever.
Speaker 2: Saw Yeah, but I like it.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, he makes movies. I love his
Speaker 1: movies because he's always creating things where it's not set
Speaker 1: up to be consumed like the average movie.
Speaker 2: Like you got to go.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you gotta look up and go on a form
Speaker 3: or something and try to understand it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm that guy, like looking at every little graphic
Speaker 1: explaining like the timeframe and everything else that comes with it. Montero,
Speaker 1: what is it that you know?
Speaker 2: What are you?
Speaker 1: What are you excited about over the next you know,
Speaker 1: twelve months for you? What's something that's inspiring pulling you
Speaker 1: and pushing you forward right now for the next twelve months.
Speaker 3: I think the main thing I'm focused on is picking
Speaker 3: myself up out of this this.
Speaker 2: Hole that I like feel there man, you know what
Speaker 2: I mean, and.
Speaker 3: Trying to figure out with songs of the hundreds or whatnot,
Speaker 3: I've been working on suit me best for going forward?
Speaker 1: Yeah, and what does that process look like?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: How do you how do you actually do that in
Speaker 1: an actionable, practical way?
Speaker 3: I guess trying to feel which ones feel real to
Speaker 3: me and back to the other thing, but are also
Speaker 3: like consumable you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Yeah, and how do you judge that? Because I guess, like,
Speaker 1: how do you as an artist even are you just
Speaker 1: trusting intuition? Is their data? Is their prayer? Like out? Yeah?
Speaker 3: What is that intuition plus like I feel like spiritual
Speaker 3: like signs, Yeah.
Speaker 1: Walk me through the spiritual signs. I like that.
Speaker 3: For example, in my last song, you know, my last single,
Speaker 3: Jay Christ Like, I was kind of hesitant, was like,
Speaker 3: is this is this where I'm going to get me
Speaker 3: to the next place? And every time I would think
Speaker 3: about it, I would magically like see across in the
Speaker 3: distance or something like that. I was like, Okay, this
Speaker 3: is a part of my journey. This is something, This
Speaker 3: is a threshold I'll have to cross through to get
Speaker 3: to the other side, or for example, another one. And
Speaker 3: I was worried about, like releasing calling by your Name.
Speaker 3: I'm just like, oh my god, I don't know if
Speaker 3: I should. And then good Days by like says it
Speaker 3: comes on the radio, you know, and I'm just like ah,
Speaker 3: And then the most beautiful like sun sunrise happens at
Speaker 3: the exact same time.
Speaker 2: It's just like, Okay, this is you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: And I guess it's like things that are in everyday life,
Speaker 3: but I don't mistake that for just being every day life,
Speaker 3: Like this is meant to be.
Speaker 2: This has to happen this way.
Speaker 1: When did you start looking for those or noticing those
Speaker 1: in your life.
Speaker 3: I think when I first moved to LA and I
Speaker 3: felt like communicating, you know, I felt like I was
Speaker 3: talking to my angels. It wasn't it was like magic,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean, like like seeing like angel numbers,
Speaker 3: like I believe in angel numbers alive.
Speaker 2: I'll give you a story.
Speaker 3: So I'm like, sitting at this cafe is breakfast time
Speaker 3: old town roll, you know, just hit like number on
Speaker 3: the charts. I'm already thinking in my head, though I'm
Speaker 3: moving to La, I'm not going to really like be
Speaker 3: super you know with my family and whatnot, Like I'm
Speaker 3: going to do my own thing now.
Speaker 2: And I started seeing like this number it was.
Speaker 3: And then I looked up what the number meant and
Speaker 3: it was like you need to, you know, bring your
Speaker 3: family together. Basically, it was like, you need to spend
Speaker 3: more time with your family to bring your family together.
Speaker 3: I was like, I was like, no, I don't. I
Speaker 3: don't think I'm gonna do that. And I just started
Speaker 3: seeing that number over and over and over. And I
Speaker 3: called my I called my my siblings. I was like,
Speaker 3: I want to have our first like what's it called
Speaker 3: family reunion?
Speaker 2: And I did that thing.
Speaker 3: And I started seeing a different number and I looked
Speaker 3: up what that number meant, and it was just like
Speaker 3: you're on the right path, like and I kept seeing
Speaker 3: that number over and over, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: So it was something it was something like that.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well yeah, and then that's and that's been nomore
Speaker 1: a discovery for you as opposed to something you were
Speaker 1: taught or trained or heard learned. It's been self taught almost.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And it's also like something that felt very real because
Speaker 3: you know, at that time, like I wasn't spiritual at all,
Speaker 3: you know, I didn't believe in any of the stuff.
Speaker 3: And I was just like, okay, yeah, I see. I
Speaker 3: feel like you guys are there. I don't understand you completely, but.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and what are you like when you like can't
Speaker 1: see the sign or you can't find the answer, is
Speaker 1: there something that helps you kind of realign or reconnect.
Speaker 3: I feel like at that point, I just have to
Speaker 3: trust what I feel in my heart, you know, And
Speaker 3: I feel like there's a there's a calm sense when
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 2: Something is right. There's like a it's like a washing
Speaker 2: of Okay, this is good. Yeah. I can't explain it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I get that yeah. I mean that's the beauty
Speaker 1: of trying to explain in words things that are experienced intangibly. Right.
Speaker 1: It's it's hard, it's challenging. But I think anyone who's
Speaker 1: I know a lot of our community and our audience
Speaker 1: is able to see signs or knows what their signs
Speaker 1: are and their experiences and what they are. And I
Speaker 1: officiated a wedding in December and the individual who's getting
Speaker 1: married or it loves the color blue and sees her
Speaker 1: father's presence as a butterfly. And when I was leading
Speaker 1: the ceremony, there was a moment in the ceremony that
Speaker 1: I asked everyone to close their eyes and meditate with us.
Speaker 1: And then we opened our eyes and some of us
Speaker 1: still had our eyes closed, and a blue butterfly literally
Speaker 1: just flew right through the garden. There was only one.
Speaker 1: It wasn't like we were in a butterfly park or
Speaker 1: something like that. And I can see that you can
Speaker 1: sense abi and it was just it was beautiful, Like
Speaker 1: it was one of those moments where everyone afterwards like,
Speaker 1: did you see the blue butterfly? Because they know how
Speaker 1: important it is to the bride, And it was just
Speaker 1: this magical moment of you know, for her to have
Speaker 1: her father's presence at her wedding who's no longer with us. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was really really special. So yeah, I think those
Speaker 1: for those who are on that path, who are aware
Speaker 1: of those things, I'm sure they'll resonate with what you're saying. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's beautiful, Montero. We end every episode with a final five.
Speaker 1: These are the fast five. They can only be answered
Speaker 1: in one word to one sentence maximum. We ask them
Speaker 1: to every guest, and you've been such a kind, gracious
Speaker 1: guest with your time, so Montero, these are your final five.
Speaker 1: Question number one is what is the best advice you've
Speaker 1: ever heard or received?
Speaker 2: Do it scared?
Speaker 1: I like that second question, what is the worst advice
Speaker 1: you've ever heard or received?
Speaker 2: I don't know about that one.
Speaker 1: You block it out? Yeah, I don't have that one.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's cool. Question number three, what's the first thing
Speaker 1: you do in the morning and the last thing you
Speaker 1: do at night.
Speaker 2: First thing I do in the morning I get my
Speaker 2: cats off a bit.
Speaker 3: And the last thing I do at night hmm, I
Speaker 3: try to move my feet in place where my cats
Speaker 3: won't scratch it in.
Speaker 2: Nice.
Speaker 1: Question number four what's something that you used to value
Speaker 1: that you don't value anymore.
Speaker 2: I guess approval from everyone around me.
Speaker 1: I guess yeah, yeah, you're allowing yourself to let that go.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right.
Speaker 1: Fifth and final question we asked this every guest who's
Speaker 1: ever been on the show. If you could create one
Speaker 1: law that everyone in the world had to follow, what
Speaker 1: would it be?
Speaker 2: You have a different one.
Speaker 1: I love that. That's brilliant. I don't have to break
Speaker 1: my law with you. What advice would you give to
Speaker 1: your younger self?
Speaker 2: Make sure you love yourself enough more.
Speaker 3: Than anybody else in this entire world, like ever could?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I say that.
Speaker 1: It's a long lived Montero. The documentary is out right now,
Speaker 1: Montero let Nasax. It has been I know. I know
Speaker 1: for you, however the experience goes, I'd love to hear
Speaker 1: from you. But honestly, I think the depth, the openness,
Speaker 1: and I want to thank you for showing up when
Speaker 1: you didn't have to off your own accord and trusting
Speaker 1: me and giving me this space and time. So I'm
Speaker 1: grateful to you and thankful to you for showing up
Speaker 1: in the way that I did.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 3: I'm hardy to be here and I'm appreciative of you,
Speaker 3: know how you've helped me through this.
Speaker 1: Thank you Cool, Thank you, Matt, thank you so much.
Speaker 1: If you love this episode, you'll enjoy my conversation with
Speaker 1: Megan Trainer on breaking generational trauma and how to be
Speaker 1: confident from the inside out. My therapist told me stand
Speaker 1: in the mirror naked for five minutes.
Speaker 3: It was already tough for me to love my body,
Speaker 3: but after the C section scarf with all the stretch.
Speaker 1: Marks, now I'm looking at myself like I've been hacked.
Speaker 1: But day three, when I did it, I was like,
Speaker 1: you know what, her thigh is a cute