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Speaker 1: this episode, I'd like to invite you to join this

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Speaker 2: The number one health and wellness.

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Speaker 1: Podcast, Jay Sheety Jay Shetty Nay shet Hey, everyone, welcome

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Speaker 1: back to On Purpose. Thank you so much for reconnecting

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Speaker 1: every day every week to become happier, healthier, and more healed.

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Speaker 1: One of my favorite things to do is to sit

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Speaker 1: down with people and understand their mindsets, understand how they

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Speaker 1: became who they are, and understand what they go through

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Speaker 1: in order to create the work they do today's guest

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Speaker 1: is someone that I'm excited to connect with to understand

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Speaker 1: more about his mindset, his approach, and his upbringing. The

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Speaker 1: guest is Lil nars X or Montero, a twenty four

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Speaker 1: year old award winning rapper singer songwriter from Atlanta, Georgia.

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Speaker 1: Dubbed an internationally recognized phenomenon by Billboard, Little naz X

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Speaker 1: rose to fame in twenty nineteen when he released Old

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Speaker 1: Town Road and Shattered jenre Norms, disrupted the charts and

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Speaker 1: went viral worldwide. The song's remix with Billy Ray Cyrus

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Speaker 1: became the longest running number one single in Billboard Hot

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Speaker 1: one hundred history, and his recordized with numerous awards, including

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Speaker 1: two Grammys. After a highly successful EP and several multi

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Speaker 1: platinum songs, Nas went on to release his critically acclaimed

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Speaker 1: and Grammy nominated debut album, Montero in September twenty twenty one,

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Speaker 1: which featured the culture shifting six times platinum hit Montero

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Speaker 1: Call Me by Your Name. Following the release of his

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Speaker 1: following the release of Lil narz K's latest single, Jay Christ,

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Speaker 1: his beautiful new documentary Lil nars X Long Live Montero

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Speaker 1: debuted this weekend on HBO and is available to stream

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Speaker 1: now on Max. Please welcome to On Purpose Montero, Lil

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Speaker 1: naz X, thank you so much for being here.

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Speaker 2: I'm happy to be here. I'm happy to talk about stuff.

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Speaker 1: I'm happy to talk about stuff too, And I wanted

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Speaker 1: to start off with I know that you love time travel. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I heard you were obsessed with time travel, and when

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Speaker 1: I heard that, I was like, that sounds like something

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Speaker 1: I'd love to hear more about. Where does that obsession

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Speaker 1: come from?

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Speaker 2: Where they come from?

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Speaker 3: I love the idea that you can go and change

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Speaker 3: anything in the past or go to the future, like

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Speaker 3: to see what's going on. I guess it's it's like

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Speaker 3: a form of escapism that I just really enjoy, you know,

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Speaker 3: and I like to explore it in my art a lot.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, where have you explored changing things in the past?

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Speaker 1: Like what what would be fascinating for you to visit

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Speaker 1: in the past.

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Speaker 3: You know, when I was younger, I always thought like

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Speaker 3: that's something I would want to do. But as I

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Speaker 3: grow older, I don't think I want to change anything

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Speaker 3: in the past. I guess I want to go to

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Speaker 3: the future and maybe ask myself, like what do I

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Speaker 3: do now? I mean, I guess that's kind of like

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Speaker 3: where I'm at in my life right now. It's like

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Speaker 3: what did you do to get to where you are?

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Speaker 3: So I know I'm in that place, but I'm not

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Speaker 3: there right now?

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, Where did the fascination come from? Where did

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Speaker 1: it originate from? Like?

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Speaker 2: Where did it originate from?

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Speaker 3: I say, the Back to the Future to movie, not

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Speaker 3: the first Love but the second one, and a lot

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Speaker 3: of Family Guy episodes from Brian and Stewie, like go

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Speaker 3: to the Past.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. One of the things you said in the documentary

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Speaker 1: was you said that Lil nas X helped you understand

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Speaker 1: more about Montero, And you know, the documentary is called

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Speaker 1: Long Lived Montero. I wanted to understand from you who

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Speaker 1: is Montero and who's Little nas X.

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Speaker 3: I think Montero was at first like this very shy,

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Speaker 3: super insecure kid and you know, had big dreams. But

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Speaker 3: I guess I was just very afraid of like even

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Speaker 3: being like himself and me becoming little nas X. It

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Speaker 3: was almost a persona, you know, and he could kind

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Speaker 3: of just do whatever he wants and he can do anything,

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Speaker 3: and he can move on to the next thing and

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Speaker 3: not really be pigeon held to like anything, you know,

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Speaker 3: and he helped Montero.

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Speaker 2: Morph into that person. If that makes sense.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it does make sense. And with Little nas X,

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Speaker 1: even if not by name, was that a character and

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Speaker 1: energy that you harnessed when you were young? Was that

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Speaker 1: a feeling you had when you were young or was

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Speaker 1: it something that evolved through time.

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Speaker 3: I think it's something that evolved through time, like through music.

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Speaker 3: I think my enthusiasm or just like my hunger to

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Speaker 3: grow musically like pushes me to do things in my

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Speaker 3: personal life that I would not do. And it's like

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Speaker 3: not even just my personal life anymore, because it's like

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Speaker 3: public now, and I know if I'm not able to

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Speaker 3: do those things, I can't continue to be Little nas X,

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Speaker 3: or at least that's how it works in my head.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I think a lot of people can

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Speaker 1: relate to that. I think we all have the little

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Speaker 1: kid inside of us that's insecure and anxious and doesn't

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Speaker 1: know how people are going to react. And I think

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Speaker 1: we all feel like we wish we had an alter

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Speaker 1: ego or a version of ourselves that was stronger and

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Speaker 1: bolder and more caregeus what kind of qualities does little

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Speaker 1: nas X have that you love in the door?

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Speaker 3: I feel like Lil nas X knows how to navigate

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Speaker 3: any situation. He knows how to find his way out

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Speaker 3: of things that may seem like very like dark and daunting,

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Speaker 3: and he helps Montero do that. And I feel like

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Speaker 3: that's one of the reason why I call it Long

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Speaker 3: Live Montero, because I still hope that innocent little boy

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Speaker 3: inside of me like remains, you know, because I think

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Speaker 3: you need that balance of you know, that courageous and

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Speaker 3: you can do whatever, and still like scared, like fearful,

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Speaker 3: but excited, you know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. So it's not like you're trying to remove the fear.

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Speaker 1: You just you actually want to protect that innocence.

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Speaker 3: I want to protect that innocence, and I don't. I

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Speaker 3: think it's less like removing the fear and more so

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Speaker 3: being able to do things.

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Speaker 2: Even when they're fearful.

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Speaker 3: And it's like I'm showing the younger me that exists

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Speaker 3: within me, like you can do this, you can do this,

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Speaker 3: we can do this. It's going to be scary, but

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Speaker 3: but let's.

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Speaker 2: Go for it and see what happens.

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Speaker 1: So there was this quote in the documentary where you

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Speaker 1: said my mind is hardwired since I was a kid,

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Speaker 1: that if you f up one time, you have to

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Speaker 1: quit the whole thing. And my question is, when have

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Speaker 1: you felt that you've done that in life or have

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Speaker 1: you ever felt that kind of fear and then pushed through?

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Speaker 1: Because Little nas X came.

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Speaker 3: Through, you know, after the success of like Old Town

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Speaker 3: Road and whatnot, I had like this dark like period

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Speaker 3: of like, oh God, like what do I do? And

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Speaker 3: I put out like my song Holiday like before, like

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Speaker 3: right before Montero came out, and it just wasn't living

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Speaker 3: up to what I had hoped for, and like I

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Speaker 3: was in a hotel room and I was just like

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Speaker 3: telling myself, like how much like I hate myself, you know,

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Speaker 3: just like how did you let this? How did you

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Speaker 3: mess this up? And how did you get here? And

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Speaker 3: like it's nothing we can do now, Like there's no

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Speaker 3: reason for us to be here. And I guess that's

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Speaker 3: like the childish like brat inside of me that it's

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Speaker 3: not comfortable working from the ground up, you know, And

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Speaker 3: in my introduction to the music industry, was already at

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Speaker 3: the top, you know, like it's a hard thing to

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Speaker 3: live from.

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Speaker 2: In a sense, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely. Yeah, So that's the hardest thing to follow up

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Speaker 1: with one of the most successful drops of all time. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: how did you process that?

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Speaker 3: I knew I was going to do it, I didn't

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Speaker 3: know how. I didn't know how I was going to continue.

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Speaker 3: But what it took was me bringing out another side

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Speaker 3: of myself, which was like Montero called me by her name,

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Speaker 3: and with that though, I had to let go of this.

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Speaker 3: It's like child like innocence, like the public hat with me.

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Speaker 1: I guess yeah, I want to dive into your childhood

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Speaker 1: at you. I was going to ask you, like, what

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Speaker 1: would you believe would be your favorite memory growing up?

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Speaker 1: Like if you were to close your eyes right now

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Speaker 1: and think about Atlanta, Georgia, what's the vision or the

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Speaker 1: visual that comes to mind or your heart that resonates

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Speaker 1: and connects with love.

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Speaker 3: I went immediately to this one, but I don't even

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Speaker 3: know if it's mine. But it's like me in front

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Speaker 3: of my like Grandma's house, and I'm just like running

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Speaker 3: around the tree like I don't.

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Speaker 1: Know, that's beautiful.

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Speaker 3: I feel like that's one of my first memories, you know. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: And it's just like bliss, where was.

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Speaker 1: That like, where was the house? What did it look like?

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Speaker 1: What do you say?

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Speaker 3: It was actually an apartment and it was it was

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Speaker 3: in bank Head Courts, Atlanta. It was like basically the hood,

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Speaker 3: you know what I mean. But at that time, you know,

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Speaker 3: everything felt all right.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, and how old are you in this memory

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Speaker 1: of this?

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Speaker 3: I feel like I was maybe like five. It was

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Speaker 3: right before the tree got cut down too. Yeah, kind

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Speaker 3: of symbolic in a way.

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Speaker 1: In what way, I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I guess.

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Speaker 3: Life increasingly became more like real things started to happen

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Speaker 3: within like you know, my family life, and also at

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Speaker 3: that time recognizing even at that age, like you know.

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Speaker 2: My sexuality and whatnot, and I feel like it, you know,

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Speaker 2: became like.

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Speaker 3: A rocky like ship from that moment.

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Speaker 1: Is that when you started to become more aware of

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Speaker 1: your sexuality? Was that an age that it started to become?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, because that was the age I started

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Speaker 3: to become like aware of myself. And it was also

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Speaker 3: like becoming aware of the world around me, you know,

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Speaker 3: and it's like, oh, this thing that's really bad that

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Speaker 3: nobody seemed to lie. I happened to be that thing.

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Speaker 3: But maybe, you know, maybe it's not that bad. But

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Speaker 3: also you know, God's like probably super mad at me,

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Speaker 3: and I don't got to think I'm like being disrespectful anythink.

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Speaker 3: And it's like, you know what I mean, all those

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Speaker 3: things that I feel like I shouldn't be thinking about

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Speaker 3: it like.

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Speaker 1: Six, Definitely, that's a lot that's heavy to be thinking

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Speaker 1: about at six. Yeah, yeah, it's a lot, I think

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Speaker 1: for anyone to be processing at six years old, it's

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Speaker 1: a lot of things to be questioning. I mean, you

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Speaker 1: in that memory you talked about your grandmother, and I

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Speaker 1: know that you're when your great grandmother passed. That was

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Speaker 1: the first person that was close to you that you lost,

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Speaker 1: and that was when you leaned into music. How old

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Speaker 1: were you when that happened? Considering that memory you have that,

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Speaker 1: you just visualize how old were you when that happened?

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Speaker 1: And how did that make you lean into music?

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Speaker 2: You know?

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Speaker 3: I actually that actually happened when I was maybe eighteen

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Speaker 3: sow But at that time my dad had already had cussy.

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Speaker 3: Because I used to live with my grandmother from like

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Speaker 3: when I was like like five until like eleven, and

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Speaker 3: I was just like the golden child. I was like

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Speaker 3: spoiled and like I got so much love, and I

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Speaker 3: was like, you know, I was the baby of the family.

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Speaker 3: So once my dad got cussy of us, you know,

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Speaker 3: he played like much more like hardball kind of vibes,

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Speaker 3: and I didn't see my grandmother as much, but she

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Speaker 3: was still like number one person in my heart when

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Speaker 3: I like thought about like love, and you know, around

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Speaker 3: sixteen or so, like I was told she had cancer

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Speaker 3: and it was it was like it was like this

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Speaker 3: thing that I was like, oh, it can't be true,

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Speaker 3: and I kind of just like try to forget like

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Speaker 3: it exists.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, well, she's still alive, Like you know, maybe

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Speaker 2: that was just like denial.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it was like a lot of now,

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Speaker 3: even like when I was around her, like you know,

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Speaker 3: noticing that she was like getting skinnier and like like

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Speaker 3: looking different, and she would like say things like, you know,

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Speaker 3: I like, Grandma, I love you, and she like, you know,

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Speaker 3: like I don't love myself and stuff like that, and

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Speaker 3: it was just it was really hard to like hear

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Speaker 3: and listen to this person that you have so much

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Speaker 3: love for.

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Speaker 2: Like lose like faith in life and just like the

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Speaker 2: world in general.

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Speaker 3: And it's like it's also the person that has took

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Speaker 3: on a role of being the back of the family

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Speaker 3: for so many people, like you know, the person, you know,

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Speaker 3: the grandmother, Like she has like the family reunion, she

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Speaker 3: has everybody over for thanksgiven. She watches the kids like

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Speaker 3: that's like a big thing in the black community and whatnot.

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Speaker 3: And and now like you know, she, I guess, like

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Speaker 3: feel cheated by life.

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Speaker 2: And you know, I guess I.

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Speaker 3: Could feel that through the way she would carry herself

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Speaker 3: at that time. And so it was really hard once

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Speaker 3: she passed, and it was something I tried to like

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Speaker 3: brush over.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's interesting. I actually lost my uncle when

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Speaker 1: I was around her your age at that time, and

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Speaker 1: he was he also was diagnosed with throat cancer. And

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Speaker 1: I was really close to my uncle. He was He

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Speaker 1: taught me how to drive, He helped me get my

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Speaker 1: first job. He used to own like a news shop

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Speaker 1: and you know, sell newspapers and stuff. So he would

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Speaker 1: like let me work out and work in the shop

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Speaker 1: and make a little pocket money. And then when he died,

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Speaker 1: it was really interesting for me because I was getting

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Speaker 1: more into spirituality at the time and he was really

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Speaker 1: angry that I was getting into spirituality, and so he

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Speaker 1: was so mad at me, and like, you know, when

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Speaker 1: he was really really unwell, he'd be like, I hope

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Speaker 1: you're not going to get spiritual, and I hope that's

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Speaker 1: not going to be your path. And so he was

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Speaker 1: kind of losing that positive spark. He was always like

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Speaker 1: this positive energy and then towards the end of his

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Speaker 1: life he was more angry than anything else. And it was, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it was an interesting experience going, you know, going from

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Speaker 1: someone that again loved me so much, helped me so much,

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Speaker 1: someone that I was very close to to then feeling

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Speaker 1: like he actually didn't like who I was becoming. How

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Speaker 1: did you feel your grandmother's love evolved for you?

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Speaker 2: Sorry? Sorry about that?

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Speaker 1: Oh no, thank you you. You inspired me to be

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Speaker 1: vulnerable and share it back with you, because yeah, I

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Speaker 1: guess we both lost someone that we cared about a

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Speaker 1: similar time. But yeah, how did your grandmother's love evolve

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Speaker 1: for you from that five to eleven age when you

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Speaker 1: were living with a Like, how do you how do

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Speaker 1: you think she loved you that stayed with you?

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Speaker 3: I guess that's like afterwards five oh, like during the

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Speaker 3: time both you know, my grandmother's like one of those

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Speaker 3: things that that she really loved when you know, life

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Speaker 3: I guess wasn't like great like where we lived and

320
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Speaker 3: you know, our like financial situation and just like you know,

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Speaker 3: the what comes with you know, getting older in life.

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Speaker 2: You know, I got, I got all the love.

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Speaker 3: I got all the love, and you know, sadly my

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Speaker 3: siblings got the other end of that stake, I guess.

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Speaker 3: And you know, around the time my I got custody

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Speaker 3: of us, I didn't feel like that special child anymore,

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Speaker 3: which is probably good.

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Speaker 2: For my young ego, you know, like feeling like I

329
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Speaker 2: had to be like that one all the time.

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Speaker 3: And I guess I kind of stop seeing my grandmother

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Speaker 3: as much. I'd go over there like a lot of

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Speaker 3: the weekends and whatnot, but you know, it was just

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Speaker 3: like the thing.

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Speaker 2: That I can't be there anymore.

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Speaker 3: And then eventually, like she passed away, and it was

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Speaker 3: just like just very confusing.

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Speaker 1: Do you remember the first song that you made after

338
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Speaker 1: her pausing or anything that any music that came from that.

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Speaker 3: I made a song called like carry On, and it

340
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Speaker 3: was pretty much about how I like felt like very

341
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Speaker 3: selfish about not being there when she passed away, when

342
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Speaker 3: I was supposed to be there that day, you know,

343
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Speaker 3: but I was so stuck on social media, you know

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Speaker 3: what I mean. And I was so like really like

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Speaker 3: into Twitter and trying to you know, build that even

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Speaker 3: though I know my grandmother's like on her last days,

347
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Speaker 3: and it was just like I just felt like very

348
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Speaker 3: selfish because it was, you know, like this person that

349
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Speaker 3: showed you so much love, shown you so much love,

350
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Speaker 3: and you're not there because you're like.

351
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Speaker 2: Trying to get these people's attention online. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I think a lot of people can relate to that too.

353
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Speaker 1: You get so obsessed with your career or a direction

354
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Speaker 1: or a path and it's working and it's winning, and

355
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:36,000
Speaker 1: there's momentum, and we all kind of you know, and

356
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Speaker 1: you were young when that happened for you, But a

357
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Speaker 1: lot of people into their thirties, forties, fifties will you know,

358
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Speaker 1: attest to that and put their hand up and say,

359
00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:47,000
Speaker 1: you know they've done that where they've over prioritized their

360
00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:50,280
Speaker 1: career to their relationships. How's that shifted how you've lived

361
00:18:50,359 --> 00:18:53,520
Speaker 1: since then? Like that reflection or realization that you've had.

362
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Speaker 3: I'll be honest, I'll say I was still kind of

363
00:18:57,520 --> 00:19:00,440
Speaker 3: like that way up until these last like maybe two

364
00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:04,720
Speaker 3: years of I guess my break from like music or whatnot.

365
00:19:05,119 --> 00:19:09,560
Speaker 2: I've started to really actually like cherished.

366
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Speaker 3: Like being with my family and stuff, because it's like

367
00:19:12,119 --> 00:19:14,439
Speaker 3: these people are growing up so fast like that, like

368
00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:17,040
Speaker 3: that my nieces and nephews and you know, you see

369
00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:18,919
Speaker 3: that on TV and you feel like it's like cliche

370
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:21,639
Speaker 3: and whatnot, but it happens like so fast, and I

371
00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:24,399
Speaker 3: feel like the older I get, the faster these years

372
00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:26,160
Speaker 3: like somehow go by.

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Speaker 2: And yeah, yeah, pretty.

374
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Speaker 1: Much, that's a wise realization to have a twenty four

375
00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:34,640
Speaker 1: I'll tell you that, Like, that's that's early. I think

376
00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:38,040
Speaker 1: most people that I speak to again, like you're saying,

377
00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:40,720
Speaker 1: we hear the cliche, we see it, but I say

378
00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:43,000
Speaker 1: most people don't get to that realization until they're like

379
00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:46,520
Speaker 1: thirty forty, maybe even later on in life. You know,

380
00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:49,640
Speaker 1: it's it's a weird one because you kind of feel

381
00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:52,720
Speaker 1: like you'll be the exception. Yeah, right, Like everyone feels

382
00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:55,560
Speaker 1: like they'll be the exception. Maybe their life will go slower,

383
00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:58,840
Speaker 1: they'll have time for everything. There was another line in

384
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:00,760
Speaker 1: the documentary that really read with me. There were so

385
00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:03,919
Speaker 1: many things that I can't wait for. Everyone wants the documentary, honestly,

386
00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:07,399
Speaker 1: because as someone who knew your music was aware of you.

387
00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:11,000
Speaker 1: I felt like I got really invited into your stream

388
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:16,439
Speaker 1: of consciousness during it, and I so appreciated. I found

389
00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:21,280
Speaker 1: your thinking out loud to be extremely comforting, even though

390
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:23,280
Speaker 1: we've never met each other and we don't know each other.

391
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:25,360
Speaker 1: And there were so many things that you said where

392
00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:27,040
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I can relate to that in

393
00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:30,119
Speaker 1: some way. And this was another one. You said a

394
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Speaker 1: lot of the times when I'm scared, it's when I'm

395
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:35,959
Speaker 1: about to do something that will change my life drastically.

396
00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:38,240
Speaker 1: And I was going to ask you what scares you

397
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:40,600
Speaker 1: the most right now or what do you feel fearful

398
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:43,119
Speaker 1: about right now that you think might be on the

399
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Speaker 1: verge of changing your life drastically.

400
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:49,040
Speaker 3: I think, just like my place right now in my

401
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:53,480
Speaker 3: actual career, in like these last couple of weeks, you know,

402
00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:59,040
Speaker 3: I've never been here like mentally and actually like physically,

403
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:04,800
Speaker 3: you know where you've like been so like focused and

404
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:10,600
Speaker 3: like zoned in on what you're doing, and you push

405
00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:14,760
Speaker 3: your art out into the world and it's kind of

406
00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:18,440
Speaker 3: like received negatively by like the majority, you know what

407
00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:23,919
Speaker 3: I mean, But then like also understanding why you know

408
00:21:24,119 --> 00:21:25,119
Speaker 3: and having.

409
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:25,720
Speaker 2: To like see it through.

410
00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:28,800
Speaker 3: So I guess that's that's where I'm at right now

411
00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:31,600
Speaker 3: and my next move, you know, the things that I'm

412
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:36,280
Speaker 3: planning on right now. I feel like somewhere in here

413
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:38,960
Speaker 3: there's going to be this magical moment that I can't

414
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:42,320
Speaker 3: even take credit for it. Yeah, I feel like that's

415
00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:44,560
Speaker 3: that's going to squeep. I feel like that always happens.

416
00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:48,080
Speaker 1: So, yeah, there's always magic in the messiness. Yeah, but

417
00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:51,359
Speaker 1: it's not fun, No, not at all.

418
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:53,800
Speaker 2: It's been a lot. Yeah.

419
00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:56,200
Speaker 1: No, we'll get to that as well. There's another line

420
00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:57,840
Speaker 1: that kind of sparked where you just said, Now you

421
00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:01,160
Speaker 1: said you talk about one thing a little bit of chaos,

422
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:03,320
Speaker 1: Like there's a part of you that likes a little

423
00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:04,639
Speaker 1: bit of chaos. And I was going to ask you,

424
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:07,119
Speaker 1: what does positive chaos look like to Montero and what

425
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:08,959
Speaker 1: does negative chaos look like?

426
00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:12,440
Speaker 3: I think the thing is it's usually when I can

427
00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:15,560
Speaker 3: control it, I've lost I don't.

428
00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:16,600
Speaker 2: I don't think I have the.

429
00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:20,040
Speaker 3: Grip on controlling it. I feel like it does a

430
00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:22,720
Speaker 3: lot of what it wants. Now, you know, I'm usually

431
00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:26,600
Speaker 3: like strategic with things, and I can kind of like

432
00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:28,400
Speaker 3: move the conversation.

433
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:30,480
Speaker 2: But that's the chaos.

434
00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:33,320
Speaker 1: I like, yeah, yeah, it's it's it's kind of like

435
00:22:33,359 --> 00:22:36,840
Speaker 1: a kid that starts a fire and it's into under control.

436
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:38,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, and a forest fire.

437
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,760
Speaker 3: I'm just like, oh, this is not it's what's supposed

438
00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:44,879
Speaker 3: to This is not my chaos. But yeah, I like

439
00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:49,840
Speaker 3: to keep things interesting or whatnot, and yeah, lead the

440
00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:50,919
Speaker 3: conversation around it.

441
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:53,320
Speaker 1: But yeah, yeah, I think what I think all of

442
00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:55,960
Speaker 1: us love that we I love and I appreciate the honesty,

443
00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:58,920
Speaker 1: Like I think we all love chaos that's under control

444
00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:02,720
Speaker 1: and that we can can control, drama that we can control.

445
00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:04,680
Speaker 1: But then as soon as it and it's funny because

446
00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:06,760
Speaker 1: it always starts like that, right, Like even a forest

447
00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:10,560
Speaker 1: fire starts because there was a little controllable fire, but

448
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:13,359
Speaker 1: then it spread really really fast. Yeah, And that feeling

449
00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:16,760
Speaker 1: of things leaving your grip is like the most uncomfortable

450
00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:18,800
Speaker 1: feeling in the world. When you feel something just like,

451
00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:22,160
Speaker 1: it's the worst. It's the worst feeling ever. Yeah, when

452
00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:24,920
Speaker 1: you feel that way, when you've created something and then

453
00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:29,240
Speaker 1: it takes a life of its own, you've experienced it

454
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:32,359
Speaker 1: positively and challengingly. How do you process that or how

455
00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:35,679
Speaker 1: do you allow yourself to be okay with creating something controlled,

456
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:38,960
Speaker 1: and then it becomes fully chaotic and out of it it.

457
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:43,040
Speaker 3: Can get almost like depressing, but you know, actually depressing,

458
00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:46,919
Speaker 3: and it can you can become like super angry with yourself.

459
00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:51,320
Speaker 3: As I said like earlier whatnot, and yeah, I mean

460
00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:53,800
Speaker 3: it gets that deep.

461
00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:58,119
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, because you said recently and as you

462
00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:00,760
Speaker 1: brought up the last two weeks, you said, you said

463
00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:02,439
Speaker 1: you felt like you really messed up this time. And

464
00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:05,040
Speaker 1: I was like, you know, and you were saying that

465
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:07,560
Speaker 1: it affected your mental health, right, like it really felt

466
00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:10,960
Speaker 1: like it affected your mental health. And I'm like, why

467
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:13,080
Speaker 1: did you feel that way? And in what way does

468
00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:14,320
Speaker 1: it affect your mental health?

469
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:17,560
Speaker 3: I already kind of like explained the situation, you know,

470
00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:21,280
Speaker 3: in that video, but it was it was this thing

471
00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:25,840
Speaker 3: that artistically, it was just supposed to be like I'm returning,

472
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:28,320
Speaker 3: like I'm back, I'm back like him, you know what

473
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:32,199
Speaker 3: I mean, And it turned into this whole thing where

474
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:37,240
Speaker 3: it was me trying to dunk on Christians or something

475
00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:42,040
Speaker 3: and that was never like what it was never And

476
00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:44,280
Speaker 3: then and then then I looked at the video with

477
00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:47,000
Speaker 3: me like eating like the communion or whatnot, and I

478
00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:51,040
Speaker 3: was like, Okay, this looks really bad on paper. This

479
00:24:51,119 --> 00:24:54,560
Speaker 3: thing that I thought was just like a little jokey,

480
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:57,639
Speaker 3: fun video. I also had to think about, like how

481
00:24:57,640 --> 00:25:00,320
Speaker 3: many of my family members are like ch like my

482
00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:04,280
Speaker 3: grandmothers and stuff and you know, like aunties and things

483
00:25:04,359 --> 00:25:04,680
Speaker 3: like that.

484
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:10,119
Speaker 2: I'm like, wow, like do they see this? Is that too?

485
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:13,679
Speaker 2: If they do, like you know, that's that's really messed up.

486
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:16,680
Speaker 2: And you know, it made me sad.

487
00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:19,800
Speaker 3: And then you know, on top of that, like seeing

488
00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:25,359
Speaker 3: like actual fans like turn and say like, well, why

489
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:27,359
Speaker 3: is he doing this? Why does he keep messing with

490
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:31,200
Speaker 3: these people? And I think another thing was messages got

491
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:33,720
Speaker 3: turned around because one got turned around the idea of

492
00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:35,919
Speaker 3: Montero called me by his name, which is me like

493
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:39,119
Speaker 3: taking ownership of this place. Everybody tells me I'm going

494
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:42,000
Speaker 3: to go, and that was just turned into oh, he's

495
00:25:42,359 --> 00:25:47,119
Speaker 3: teaching Christianity a lesson, when that's not the case, you know.

496
00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:50,720
Speaker 3: And now this thing was like, oh, I'm Jesus, I'm

497
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:53,800
Speaker 3: back like Jesus, which is if anything it's it's it's

498
00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:56,560
Speaker 3: like a homage to Jesus. Like this guy that made

499
00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:58,879
Speaker 3: the greatest comeback of all time. And I'm not the

500
00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:02,320
Speaker 3: first artist to do such a thing. That message like

501
00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:06,000
Speaker 3: turned around and I didn't know, I didn't know how

502
00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:07,080
Speaker 3: to do anything with it.

503
00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:08,720
Speaker 2: It wasn't my chaos anymore.

504
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:12,720
Speaker 3: It was the world's and anything anybody said was true

505
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:15,399
Speaker 3: because that's who I am as a person. I'm this

506
00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:19,040
Speaker 3: troll and I want to make these people mad, and

507
00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:21,679
Speaker 3: so everybody can run with that, and there's nothing I

508
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:24,120
Speaker 3: can do about that. I can say as many things

509
00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:28,240
Speaker 3: as I want, but knowing my history, they look right,

510
00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:28,920
Speaker 3: I look wrong.

511
00:26:29,359 --> 00:26:29,959
Speaker 2: Yeah.

512
00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:32,199
Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, I think the way you addressed it, and

513
00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:34,879
Speaker 1: you're addressing it right now is helpful and useful to

514
00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:38,159
Speaker 1: people because I think it came across very clearly to me,

515
00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:40,479
Speaker 1: and it does today too, even sitting with you, Like,

516
00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:46,080
Speaker 1: it's not something you're trying to disrespect or mark. But

517
00:26:46,119 --> 00:26:47,720
Speaker 1: for people to feel that way, what would you say

518
00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:49,399
Speaker 1: to them? Like, for someone who feels that that is

519
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:51,240
Speaker 1: what it is, how would you do to them?

520
00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:51,480
Speaker 2: Yeah?

521
00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:53,520
Speaker 1: What would you want them to hear? It's probably a

522
00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:54,360
Speaker 1: better question.

523
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:55,400
Speaker 2: You know, what's you know, what's crazy?

524
00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:59,560
Speaker 3: I feel like I've said, you know, I've apologize for

525
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:04,760
Speaker 3: the communiting on that note. Everything else I'm not sorry about.

526
00:27:05,119 --> 00:27:08,359
Speaker 3: I don't I don't think I did anything wrong, you

527
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:11,320
Speaker 3: know what I mean. And it's like I've also been

528
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:15,800
Speaker 3: making like a lot of like gospel music, like to

529
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:20,679
Speaker 3: to like God and like like my spiritual side, and

530
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:23,040
Speaker 3: I hate that this whole thing is turned into like

531
00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:26,119
Speaker 3: a mockery, which it isn't you know.

532
00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:29,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you for sharing that. I appreciate it. And

533
00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:32,360
Speaker 1: I think there's also like I was gonna actually maybe

534
00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:33,560
Speaker 1: maybe that's a good thing to talk about it, Like

535
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:37,080
Speaker 1: obviously your father's gospel singer, right, Yeah, Well, I would

536
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:39,080
Speaker 1: love for you to talk about your relationship with your

537
00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:42,200
Speaker 1: father to give kind of context to the conversation we're

538
00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:45,040
Speaker 1: having right now, because I'm not sure how many people

539
00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:49,879
Speaker 1: are aware of your deep Christian roots. So walk us

540
00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:51,760
Speaker 1: through some of your relationship with your father and how

541
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:54,800
Speaker 1: that's evolved, which comes across in the documentary.

542
00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:57,280
Speaker 3: For sure, I feel like me and my father have

543
00:27:57,320 --> 00:28:01,919
Speaker 3: grown closer as I got older, because the version of

544
00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:04,560
Speaker 3: me that he saw wasn't really me. It was the

545
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:09,960
Speaker 3: version that I presented to him. So as i've like

546
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:12,200
Speaker 3: come out and whatnot, like even before I came out

547
00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:15,719
Speaker 3: though my dad, well, when I did initially came out

548
00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:17,320
Speaker 3: to when I initially came out to my dad, he

549
00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:19,199
Speaker 3: was just like, you know, the devil maybe tempting me

550
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:23,920
Speaker 3: or whatnot. And it's definitely taking its own journey because now,

551
00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:26,080
Speaker 3: like my dad, it's like, yo, do you have a

552
00:28:26,119 --> 00:28:28,359
Speaker 3: boyfriend kind of vibe, like you could tell me about

553
00:28:28,359 --> 00:28:31,080
Speaker 3: that stuff, like you can let me know that, you know.

554
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:32,000
Speaker 2: He even came to me.

555
00:28:32,440 --> 00:28:34,800
Speaker 3: He even came with me to like a gay club

556
00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:37,520
Speaker 3: with like my brothers and sisters one time, just like

557
00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:41,920
Speaker 3: dancing and stuff. It's it's been a complete, like one I.

558
00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:44,240
Speaker 1: Feel like because from going from you know, coming out

559
00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:47,000
Speaker 1: to your parents and your father saying yeah, you know

560
00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:51,000
Speaker 1: the I mean that is a really extreme obviously reaction

561
00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:53,840
Speaker 1: on one end, and now coming with you to a

562
00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:56,960
Speaker 1: gay club, like, how does that transition even a how

563
00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:59,160
Speaker 1: does that transition happen? B How does that feel?

564
00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:02,640
Speaker 3: I feel like it was an overtime thing. And also

565
00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:05,720
Speaker 3: him like learning me as a person, Like I feel

566
00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:08,520
Speaker 3: like him seeing me in interviews and stuff like that

567
00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:12,360
Speaker 3: was like the same for everybody else, Like every I

568
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:15,120
Speaker 3: feel like the entire world started to see me. My

569
00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:18,240
Speaker 3: brothers and sisters, my family, everybody started.

570
00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:19,440
Speaker 2: To see me at the same time.

571
00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:21,480
Speaker 3: You know what, I mean, I feel like before that,

572
00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:26,960
Speaker 3: I was just very like meek about everything. So over time,

573
00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:29,120
Speaker 3: you know, with call Me by Your Name coming out

574
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:33,960
Speaker 3: and like the entire like Montero album like Rollout and

575
00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:36,560
Speaker 3: me inviting him and like listening to my songs on

576
00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:39,000
Speaker 3: my last album, that's how he learned about me. And

577
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:41,880
Speaker 3: I feel like him hearing me from my own mouth

578
00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:44,000
Speaker 3: and like in the world and seeing me in the

579
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:44,440
Speaker 3: world like.

580
00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:45,760
Speaker 2: Help him understand me more.

581
00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:49,240
Speaker 3: And I feel like over time he was like, Okay,

582
00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:52,040
Speaker 3: I understand now, you know what I mean.

583
00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:56,040
Speaker 1: It feels like you've also always had this compassion for

584
00:29:56,160 --> 00:30:00,520
Speaker 1: people who don't always understand you, Like even when you

585
00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:02,480
Speaker 1: say when you when you when you first told your

586
00:30:02,480 --> 00:30:05,680
Speaker 1: father and he had that reaction of maybe the devil's

587
00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:08,760
Speaker 1: tempting you, you actually understood that, Like there was a

588
00:30:08,760 --> 00:30:11,320
Speaker 1: part of you that went, oh, I get that. And

589
00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:13,600
Speaker 1: then there's other parts in the documentary true when you

590
00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:17,720
Speaker 1: have protesters outside and again you're like, I'm actually happy

591
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:20,760
Speaker 1: that they have something that they belong to and they

592
00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:23,960
Speaker 1: stamp for Like there's a there's a compassion in context

593
00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:27,840
Speaker 1: that you seem to have even when you're the one

594
00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:31,080
Speaker 1: who's trying to express yourself. You can see how it's

595
00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:33,240
Speaker 1: hard for people to digest that. Would that be fair

596
00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:34,800
Speaker 1: to say for sure?

597
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:37,240
Speaker 3: I mean the truth is I feel like, over like

598
00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:41,360
Speaker 3: the last couple of years, I've learned that everybody is

599
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:41,920
Speaker 3: against you.

600
00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:43,720
Speaker 2: Was just like against you.

601
00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:46,720
Speaker 3: You know, there's a lot of like learn things, you know,

602
00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:49,960
Speaker 3: a lot of things over time people have latched onto

603
00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:51,400
Speaker 3: and in their brains it's hard to.

604
00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:51,880
Speaker 2: Like go of.

605
00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:56,000
Speaker 3: So they see you as this way because of something

606
00:30:56,280 --> 00:30:58,760
Speaker 3: that was, you know, far beyond their control of things

607
00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:00,880
Speaker 3: they've been taught to, they've like grew up, you know,

608
00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:03,360
Speaker 3: like my dad has been taught and like shoved in

609
00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:06,200
Speaker 3: his head, you know, and everybody in the world, like

610
00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:09,840
Speaker 3: we all have like ideals like put into our brains.

611
00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:11,320
Speaker 2: And I don't want to like try to be a

612
00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:15,880
Speaker 2: thing where it's easy to paint people who don't like.

613
00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:21,239
Speaker 3: You as like haters or just like evil and like

614
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:24,560
Speaker 3: biggot and whatnot. But it's like these people just genuinely

615
00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:29,160
Speaker 3: don't understand you, and inside of their mind, like it's

616
00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:33,640
Speaker 3: it's like fear, you know, it's like fear, and it's

617
00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:38,080
Speaker 3: it's like discomfort, and there's all these things that the

618
00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:41,840
Speaker 3: human mind wants to run from, you know, and I

619
00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:44,400
Speaker 3: understand that because I still have those things.

620
00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:47,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, we all see things in others that we don't understand.

621
00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:50,920
Speaker 1: And as soon as we don't understand something, the most

622
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:54,440
Speaker 1: human emotion is to feel fear. Any sort of change

623
00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:58,240
Speaker 1: makes us feel fear, any sort of uncertainty. So if

624
00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:01,520
Speaker 1: someone we look at someone and we've uncertain about them,

625
00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:05,240
Speaker 1: it generally sparks fear. That's how we've almost been conditioned

626
00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:09,560
Speaker 1: as humans to just feel fear. And so as you've

627
00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:12,080
Speaker 1: said before, you said, some people see me as the

628
00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:16,080
Speaker 1: satanic devil that is going to ruin the world. Like

629
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:19,800
Speaker 1: when you say things like that, what are you actually

630
00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:21,640
Speaker 1: trying to do when people see you that way? Like

631
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:25,000
Speaker 1: what I'm interested in is when people see you that way,

632
00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:28,360
Speaker 1: what are you actually trying to portray that sometimes gets

633
00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:29,200
Speaker 1: seen that way.

634
00:32:29,520 --> 00:32:35,720
Speaker 3: It's more so taking all these things that I believe

635
00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:42,040
Speaker 3: have been used to like demonize me and a lot

636
00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:47,680
Speaker 3: of other people, and these conspiracies, and it says, Okay,

637
00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:49,400
Speaker 3: this is what this looks like.

638
00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:52,480
Speaker 2: Is this what you actually want to see? You know

639
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:52,920
Speaker 2: what I mean?

640
00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:58,800
Speaker 3: Is this who you think I am? Okay, I'm going

641
00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:01,080
Speaker 3: to do those things want to do those things. You think,

642
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:03,400
Speaker 3: I'm like this someonet to do these things.

643
00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:05,760
Speaker 1: When you're building a new album, building a new song,

644
00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:09,120
Speaker 1: making a music video, what's your artistic process? Like where

645
00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:11,840
Speaker 1: does it start? Like like what happens? Is it you're

646
00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:15,360
Speaker 1: taking notes? Is it journaling? Is it working with your team,

647
00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:18,880
Speaker 1: your dancers? Like how does how does new work get created?

648
00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:20,520
Speaker 1: In Montero's world?

649
00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:22,040
Speaker 2: Can we pass for Yeah?

650
00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:25,080
Speaker 1: Of course we can, of course again Yeah, okay, yeah,

651
00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:29,040
Speaker 1: I'm with you. You want, of course? Of course you again, Yeah, absolutely,

652
00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:33,880
Speaker 1: of course you can. Of course you take your time.

653
00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:43,440
Speaker 2: M h.

654
00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:46,000
Speaker 1: What would you like to say? Where is it? Where

655
00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:47,120
Speaker 1: is your heart?

656
00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:47,680
Speaker 2: Well?

657
00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:52,040
Speaker 3: First I'll say what I say out there. I'm trying

658
00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:57,680
Speaker 3: to be authentic and say, you know, words from my heart,

659
00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:02,240
Speaker 3: but you know, I feel like it ends up sounding rehearsed,

660
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:11,520
Speaker 3: and I guess, yeah, I'm trying to get there. But yeah,

661
00:34:11,520 --> 00:34:15,480
Speaker 3: I'm doing my best. But we can move from We

662
00:34:15,480 --> 00:34:16,200
Speaker 3: can move from.

663
00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:20,920
Speaker 1: This, yeah yeah yeah. And and all you could ever

664
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:23,759
Speaker 1: be asked for is doing your best. Can't ask for

665
00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:27,440
Speaker 1: anything more. And I think we're all in that, We're

666
00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:31,000
Speaker 1: kind of all in that pressure of trying to be

667
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:34,520
Speaker 1: authentic selves. But then you know, there's that there's that

668
00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:37,239
Speaker 1: famous meme on social media that I see all the

669
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:42,600
Speaker 1: time that says, society says, be yourself, and then society says, no,

670
00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:45,480
Speaker 1: not like that. Yeah, and I think you know, we

671
00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:46,759
Speaker 1: all kind of spend a.

672
00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:50,720
Speaker 2: Month, so that's authentic, that's true.

673
00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:56,319
Speaker 3: Yeah, your society doesn't really want like people to be

674
00:34:56,440 --> 00:34:59,680
Speaker 3: like themselves and stuff like that, just like to a degree.

675
00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:04,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, we want everyone to be authentic in a

676
00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:05,919
Speaker 1: way that makes us feel good.

677
00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:10,640
Speaker 3: The truth is, if everyone was authentic, oh boy, this

678
00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:12,160
Speaker 3: world would be insane.

679
00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:13,319
Speaker 1: What would it be like?

680
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:16,799
Speaker 3: It would have some great things, but definitely like some

681
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:18,080
Speaker 3: terrible things too.

682
00:35:18,440 --> 00:35:18,880
Speaker 2: Yeah.

683
00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:23,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, so it's probably better that everyone's a little It's

684
00:35:23,719 --> 00:35:26,440
Speaker 1: an interesting Authenticity is an interesting conversation.

685
00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:29,280
Speaker 3: I think it depends on what you see is better

686
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:33,720
Speaker 3: like positive and light does that automatically equals like better

687
00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:38,040
Speaker 3: like because it's I feel like some dark things help

688
00:35:38,160 --> 00:35:42,120
Speaker 3: bring light, you know, balance.

689
00:35:43,200 --> 00:35:46,080
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, it's almost like I feel like even

690
00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:47,520
Speaker 1: internally when you're doing.

691
00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:49,880
Speaker 3: The work, shadow work and stuff like that, Yeah, you

692
00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:52,400
Speaker 3: have to go through a lot of darkness. You know,

693
00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:56,160
Speaker 3: you gotta understand like what you are capable of and

694
00:35:57,239 --> 00:36:00,040
Speaker 3: and like who you are and decide not to do

695
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:01,879
Speaker 3: you like like.

696
00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:03,560
Speaker 2: That that bad that you could do?

697
00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:06,200
Speaker 1: You know? Yeah, do you do a lot of in

698
00:36:06,239 --> 00:36:08,080
Speaker 1: the work? Is that kind of I know, you became

699
00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:11,400
Speaker 1: spiritual and you got involved in a bit of your

700
00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:14,640
Speaker 1: own spirituality. What does that look like exploring your own spirituality?

701
00:36:14,680 --> 00:36:17,160
Speaker 1: What does that look like? In your definition? In your words?

702
00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:19,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, I do a lot of like in a work

703
00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:23,920
Speaker 3: and understanding like who I am, and but also like

704
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:27,400
Speaker 3: the and like trying to let go of the pressures

705
00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:30,759
Speaker 3: of I guess what I feel like. Society a lot

706
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:33,600
Speaker 3: of times will want me to be, you know, like

707
00:36:33,640 --> 00:36:39,160
Speaker 3: this big, brave like champion for the community, which you

708
00:36:39,200 --> 00:36:41,880
Speaker 3: know I can't be at all times, you know what

709
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:45,680
Speaker 3: I mean. I just want to do me sometimes of course,

710
00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:48,080
Speaker 3: like I want to do what I can, but I

711
00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:49,360
Speaker 3: wanted to come naturally.

712
00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:51,720
Speaker 1: And is there a lot of pressure sometimes it feels

713
00:36:51,719 --> 00:36:56,160
Speaker 1: like to always have to be I was joking about

714
00:36:56,160 --> 00:36:57,879
Speaker 1: it with someone else the other day, like whenever I'm

715
00:36:57,920 --> 00:37:00,399
Speaker 1: around someone, I always feel the pressure that I have

716
00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:06,000
Speaker 1: to say something wise because because that's the kind of

717
00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:07,719
Speaker 1: you know, and so like when I'm around something, it's

718
00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:10,080
Speaker 1: kind of like being around a comedian and you they

719
00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:10,920
Speaker 1: have to be funny.

720
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:14,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, like, yeah, I think it's exactly that. I think

721
00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:14,799
Speaker 2: it's exactly that.

722
00:37:14,920 --> 00:37:17,479
Speaker 3: Even like with the funny things sometimes you know, because

723
00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:19,719
Speaker 3: I'm an online control and stuff like I don't want

724
00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:20,560
Speaker 3: to be funny right now.

725
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:22,520
Speaker 2: I want to I want to I don't know, I.

726
00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:25,640
Speaker 3: Want to eat this food and and you know, not

727
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:26,239
Speaker 3: really talk to you.

728
00:37:26,239 --> 00:37:27,400
Speaker 2: Want to scroll on my phone a little bit and

729
00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:28,000
Speaker 2: eat this food.

730
00:37:28,239 --> 00:37:31,640
Speaker 3: But the whole thing, like even with like Montero still

731
00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:33,560
Speaker 3: like riding on my back, like we're talking about it

732
00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:38,600
Speaker 3: right now and be like featuring the video and stuff,

733
00:37:38,680 --> 00:37:41,920
Speaker 3: and it's like that's just what I want to do.

734
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:42,520
Speaker 2: It wasn't.

735
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:45,000
Speaker 3: I'm not always trying to like make a deep message.

736
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:47,560
Speaker 3: I guess, like I guess, yeah, if that makes sense.

737
00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:50,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, So sometimes you're just trying to have fun.

738
00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:52,480
Speaker 2: Not even just trying to have fun. It's just a

739
00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:53,439
Speaker 2: lot of things I do.

740
00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:58,600
Speaker 3: Most things through my art are for me and just

741
00:37:58,680 --> 00:38:02,600
Speaker 3: thankfully other people can see it is helping them.

742
00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:05,440
Speaker 1: It's coming as a form of self healing and self expression,

743
00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:08,120
Speaker 1: and then if it connects with people.

744
00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:09,840
Speaker 2: They like I pray it connects with you.

745
00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:11,319
Speaker 1: Yes, but.

746
00:38:13,120 --> 00:38:15,680
Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm not I'm not trying to be

747
00:38:15,719 --> 00:38:17,120
Speaker 2: a martyr if that makes sense.

748
00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:20,480
Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean Rick Rubin was here a few months

749
00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:23,240
Speaker 1: ago and he was saying something similar. He was saying

750
00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:28,680
Speaker 1: that he thinks that true art and true creativity is

751
00:38:28,760 --> 00:38:30,920
Speaker 1: not made for consumption.

752
00:38:31,719 --> 00:38:32,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, in that.

753
00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:34,839
Speaker 1: It is consumed and it is loved and it is

754
00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:38,239
Speaker 1: connected with, but it wasn't created, thinking well, how we

755
00:38:38,280 --> 00:38:41,600
Speaker 1: going to find the thing that connects? It's creating something

756
00:38:41,640 --> 00:38:43,839
Speaker 1: that comes from within. Would you agree with that? Does

757
00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:47,120
Speaker 1: that you agree completely? I like Rick Rubin?

758
00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:50,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I like his book only skim only like

759
00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:51,920
Speaker 3: skim through it, but I like it.

760
00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:55,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a great But did you when do you

761
00:38:55,320 --> 00:38:59,440
Speaker 1: feel your connected to your most authentic three sixties self? Like?

762
00:38:59,440 --> 00:39:01,359
Speaker 1: What do you do when you feel that way? Because

763
00:39:01,360 --> 00:39:03,799
Speaker 1: I know in the documentary it seems like when you're

764
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:07,480
Speaker 1: with your dances who all to your friends. That felt

765
00:39:07,520 --> 00:39:11,120
Speaker 1: like a form of self expression and connectedness where you

766
00:39:11,120 --> 00:39:13,040
Speaker 1: feel like you can let go and be funny and

767
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:16,600
Speaker 1: be larger than life and be creative. Would you say

768
00:39:16,640 --> 00:39:17,520
Speaker 1: that's where it comes through?

769
00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:24,799
Speaker 3: I'd say, if anything, it's when I'm creating music and

770
00:39:24,880 --> 00:39:28,239
Speaker 3: I guess that's like the thing that an artist should

771
00:39:28,280 --> 00:39:31,120
Speaker 3: say or whatnot. But it's the truth. When I'm like

772
00:39:31,200 --> 00:39:34,440
Speaker 3: making a song and when I can completely like let

773
00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:37,200
Speaker 3: go of how it's going to be received, I just

774
00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:41,319
Speaker 3: feel like one, you know, I feel like everything has

775
00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:43,919
Speaker 3: come to me. All my energy is not like all

776
00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:46,920
Speaker 3: out into the world like every like I feel like

777
00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:51,120
Speaker 3: just one being like connected to everything. It's a feeling

778
00:39:51,160 --> 00:39:54,680
Speaker 3: like I can't describe. Like no amount of success will

779
00:39:54,680 --> 00:39:57,640
Speaker 3: ever like equate to it. I don't know if I'll

780
00:39:57,640 --> 00:39:59,799
Speaker 3: ever like find love that's strong. I hope so.

781
00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:03,799
Speaker 1: But but yeah, that's the I think that's the thing

782
00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:05,880
Speaker 1: we're looking for, right that we're all searching for, like

783
00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:09,480
Speaker 1: and and it's almost like you can't manufacture it, like

784
00:40:09,520 --> 00:40:11,960
Speaker 1: you can't engineer it. Either happens or it doesn't.

785
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:12,440
Speaker 2: Fake it.

786
00:40:12,680 --> 00:40:16,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you feel it sometimes and sometimes you don't.

787
00:40:17,440 --> 00:40:17,680
Speaker 2: Yeah.

788
00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:21,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, you said you wanted to stay the acceptable gay

789
00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:23,719
Speaker 1: person at first, and you didn't want to be the

790
00:40:23,719 --> 00:40:25,919
Speaker 1: one that shoves it down everyone's throats. And then now

791
00:40:25,960 --> 00:40:29,120
Speaker 1: we're talking about again being authentic. I think we're all

792
00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:32,400
Speaker 1: always trying to we're always trying to play again to

793
00:40:32,600 --> 00:40:34,480
Speaker 1: what people around us wanting to be and then and

794
00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:36,520
Speaker 1: then it comes out, how did you kind of go, well, no, no, no,

795
00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:38,480
Speaker 1: I'm not going to do that. I am gonna allow

796
00:40:38,560 --> 00:40:40,440
Speaker 1: myself to free myself.

797
00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:42,799
Speaker 3: I feel like it's a push and pull, you know,

798
00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:47,480
Speaker 3: because of course there's still parts of me that, you know,

799
00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:51,440
Speaker 3: want to please the people around me, you know. I mean,

800
00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:54,320
Speaker 3: I feel like that's the whole idea of like something

801
00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:56,880
Speaker 3: being successful. A lot of the times, we got to

802
00:40:56,920 --> 00:41:01,120
Speaker 3: make sure it's packaged enough to be authentic but also

803
00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:04,880
Speaker 3: able to be like digestible at the same time.

804
00:41:05,080 --> 00:41:07,160
Speaker 1: I almost feel like that's what we're all trying to exist.

805
00:41:08,239 --> 00:41:10,400
Speaker 1: You said something that resonated with me that I was

806
00:41:10,440 --> 00:41:13,440
Speaker 1: going to read something from f Scott Fitzgerald, and so

807
00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:18,520
Speaker 1: he has this beautiful quote that I'm fully obsessed with

808
00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:21,480
Speaker 1: right now. And when I look at you as an individual,

809
00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:25,239
Speaker 1: this is and you can reflect on whether you how

810
00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:27,880
Speaker 1: you feel about it. So he said that the test

811
00:41:28,080 --> 00:41:32,280
Speaker 1: of a first rate intelligence is the ability to hold

812
00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:36,160
Speaker 1: two opposing ideas in the mind at the same time

813
00:41:36,760 --> 00:41:40,560
Speaker 1: and still retain the ability to function. In his words,

814
00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:43,879
Speaker 1: one should, for example, be able to see that things

815
00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:47,759
Speaker 1: are hopeless, yet be determined to make them otherwise. But

816
00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:50,120
Speaker 1: the way I'm reflecting on you is this idea of like,

817
00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:54,000
Speaker 1: you want to be doing things that are for the self,

818
00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:55,840
Speaker 1: but then at the same time it needs to connect

819
00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:58,239
Speaker 1: to people, Like you want to be able to be

820
00:41:58,360 --> 00:42:00,920
Speaker 1: who you are with your friends and your family, and

821
00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:03,440
Speaker 1: you realize that sometimes you got to tone down parts

822
00:42:03,440 --> 00:42:05,719
Speaker 1: of yourself, but then sometimes you don't want to. Right,

823
00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:08,080
Speaker 1: We're constantly trying to All of us are trying to

824
00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:10,920
Speaker 1: be two things almost, Yeah, for sure. Why is it

825
00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:11,399
Speaker 1: so hard?

826
00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:11,640
Speaker 2: Then?

827
00:42:12,040 --> 00:42:13,399
Speaker 3: I don't know, And I feel like that goes back

828
00:42:13,440 --> 00:42:16,799
Speaker 3: into the whole thing of like we are like not

829
00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:21,879
Speaker 3: in control completely of things like no matter what you do,

830
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:25,320
Speaker 3: how much preparation or whatnot, it's not something you control,

831
00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:27,360
Speaker 3: like people going to love stuff or they won't.

832
00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:30,919
Speaker 1: Absolutely you said about love there, you mentioned how does

833
00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:33,920
Speaker 1: finding love play a role in your life when you know.

834
00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:39,120
Speaker 3: I always this year is the first year since twenty

835
00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:41,000
Speaker 3: twenty one that I'm going to be open to like

836
00:42:41,040 --> 00:42:44,920
Speaker 3: finding love because I was kind of very closed off

837
00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:47,080
Speaker 3: to it. It's like no, no, no, I need to focus.

838
00:42:48,239 --> 00:42:49,279
Speaker 2: I have I.

839
00:42:49,239 --> 00:42:51,480
Speaker 3: Have really really big dreams and I don't want to

840
00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:55,120
Speaker 3: share with everybody. Yeah, I have really really big dreams,

841
00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:58,759
Speaker 3: and it's like I feel like anything that I can

842
00:42:58,760 --> 00:43:00,719
Speaker 3: can see as a distraction can get in my way.

843
00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:03,520
Speaker 3: But at the same time, like that whole contradicting thing,

844
00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:07,600
Speaker 3: love can help inspire you to make life even greater

845
00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:11,120
Speaker 3: art But but you know, I wanted to just have

846
00:43:11,200 --> 00:43:12,359
Speaker 3: my like phase of.

847
00:43:13,120 --> 00:43:15,800
Speaker 2: Being young and having fun with people, if you know

848
00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:16,239
Speaker 2: what I mean.

849
00:43:16,360 --> 00:43:19,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, I mean yeah, but don't you think again,

850
00:43:19,719 --> 00:43:22,040
Speaker 1: it's it's interesting, right, Like it is daunting, I agree

851
00:43:22,080 --> 00:43:25,799
Speaker 1: with you, and yet I find that most people, of course,

852
00:43:25,800 --> 00:43:27,440
Speaker 1: everyone's have a good time. I'm like that too, Like

853
00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:30,160
Speaker 1: I love laughing, I love having a great time. And

854
00:43:30,239 --> 00:43:32,320
Speaker 1: at the same time, again talking about the paradox or

855
00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:35,760
Speaker 1: the contradiction, I also want to have meaningful connections because

856
00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:39,000
Speaker 1: the last thing I want to do is have a superficial,

857
00:43:39,440 --> 00:43:43,400
Speaker 1: artificial conversation with someone. So it's like this, It's funny

858
00:43:43,440 --> 00:43:46,560
Speaker 1: how the things we find daunting are often things that

859
00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:49,200
Speaker 1: even that person's kind of yearning for. Like I don't

860
00:43:49,239 --> 00:43:52,480
Speaker 1: think anyone's ever had a really deeply meaningful conversation and

861
00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:54,200
Speaker 1: then walked away from it, and that was a waste

862
00:43:54,239 --> 00:43:57,120
Speaker 1: of time, right, you know, me you're never gonna say that, like,

863
00:43:57,160 --> 00:43:59,439
Speaker 1: you're never gonna you know, Like, I had a dinner

864
00:43:59,440 --> 00:44:01,680
Speaker 1: with someone in life recently, and there was a group

865
00:44:01,719 --> 00:44:04,960
Speaker 1: of us in a similar industry and everyone was being

866
00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:08,600
Speaker 1: vulnerable and we were laughing and connecting, but everyone's sharing

867
00:44:08,640 --> 00:44:10,920
Speaker 1: their pains and we walked away and no one was

868
00:44:10,920 --> 00:44:13,839
Speaker 1: walking away going, God, that was the worst dinner. Everyone's gonna, Yeah,

869
00:44:13,840 --> 00:44:16,120
Speaker 1: everyone's gonna. That's one of the best dinners we've ever had.

870
00:44:16,400 --> 00:44:19,319
Speaker 1: And I find that with artists it's hard to have that.

871
00:44:19,400 --> 00:44:21,680
Speaker 1: I guess, like it's hard to find that, And so

872
00:44:21,719 --> 00:44:23,120
Speaker 1: do you do you feel like the dance is a

873
00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:24,920
Speaker 1: way you find out like is that a place of

874
00:44:25,440 --> 00:44:27,200
Speaker 1: safety and a place of joy?

875
00:44:27,440 --> 00:44:29,120
Speaker 2: I feelt that's definitely a place of joy.

876
00:44:29,280 --> 00:44:29,720
Speaker 1: Yeah.

877
00:44:29,760 --> 00:44:35,280
Speaker 3: And I don't get super serious with them or barely

878
00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:41,400
Speaker 3: like anyone for that matter, you know me, Yeah, yeah,

879
00:44:41,440 --> 00:44:43,839
Speaker 3: for sure. You know, I feel like I shared most

880
00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:47,920
Speaker 3: of my therapy sessions at home alone with myself and

881
00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:51,920
Speaker 3: my cats in the distance. But yeah, like talking out

882
00:44:51,960 --> 00:44:54,560
Speaker 3: loud to myself when all the voices in my head

883
00:44:54,960 --> 00:44:58,480
Speaker 3: are saying like the most crazy, terrible things you would

884
00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:01,680
Speaker 3: ever hear person say, it's useful it's helpful.

885
00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:04,600
Speaker 1: How ridiculous can the voice inside your head get like what?

886
00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:06,160
Speaker 2: How far ridiculous?

887
00:45:06,200 --> 00:45:08,080
Speaker 3: Asn't like you know the time that I told you about,

888
00:45:08,080 --> 00:45:12,560
Speaker 3: like the hotel incident. Like it's easy when you're like

889
00:45:12,719 --> 00:45:16,120
Speaker 3: down or in like a in like a hard place

890
00:45:16,480 --> 00:45:18,480
Speaker 3: for all those voices in your head to.

891
00:45:18,480 --> 00:45:20,560
Speaker 2: Like gang up. It's like, okay, this is the time.

892
00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:24,760
Speaker 3: It's like everybody go, go go, and talking out loud

893
00:45:24,960 --> 00:45:28,920
Speaker 3: can be that saving phrase of a factor, like no,

894
00:45:29,440 --> 00:45:32,320
Speaker 3: this isn't that bad, this thing isn't that terrible.

895
00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:33,879
Speaker 2: We're going to get out of this thing.

896
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:36,000
Speaker 3: We've been through worse, we will go through worse, So

897
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:37,319
Speaker 3: we got to make sure we get out of this

898
00:45:37,440 --> 00:45:39,800
Speaker 3: thing so we can know about the worst, you know

899
00:45:39,840 --> 00:45:40,239
Speaker 3: what I mean?

900
00:45:41,080 --> 00:45:43,000
Speaker 2: So yeah, like that that helps a lot.

901
00:45:43,080 --> 00:45:45,359
Speaker 1: That's a great technique. Yeah, I fully agree. I think

902
00:45:45,400 --> 00:45:48,400
Speaker 1: the when you're lost in your head and in the silence,

903
00:45:48,840 --> 00:45:51,680
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, you have no idea which voice to follow,

904
00:45:51,840 --> 00:45:53,600
Speaker 1: which voice to let lead.

905
00:45:54,120 --> 00:45:56,080
Speaker 3: It's the worst when you like, oh, this terrible voice

906
00:45:56,120 --> 00:46:00,480
Speaker 3: has a point, you know. It's like this and this

907
00:46:00,600 --> 00:46:03,680
Speaker 3: one's saying something maybe I should listen. Yeah, it's like no,

908
00:46:03,880 --> 00:46:06,360
Speaker 3: he's not like, that's a terrible idea.

909
00:46:06,680 --> 00:46:09,440
Speaker 1: Have you ever used that technique where you label certain

910
00:46:09,560 --> 00:46:11,560
Speaker 1: voices that you see is recurring and you give them

911
00:46:11,600 --> 00:46:14,000
Speaker 1: a name, And in a way, because they say that

912
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:16,560
Speaker 1: that's a great technique of you're in a critic like

913
00:46:16,600 --> 00:46:18,960
Speaker 1: giving it a name, giving it a personality. You have

914
00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:20,879
Speaker 1: you noticed certain ones that keep coming back.

915
00:46:21,120 --> 00:46:24,480
Speaker 3: I don't give them a name per se, But as

916
00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:26,920
Speaker 3: I said, like, I'm a spiritual being and I feel

917
00:46:26,920 --> 00:46:30,000
Speaker 3: like just like me, like I have my thoughts, my

918
00:46:30,160 --> 00:46:34,680
Speaker 3: wants and my purpose. That voice in my head was

919
00:46:34,800 --> 00:46:37,960
Speaker 3: you know, created by the universe. It has a job,

920
00:46:38,120 --> 00:46:41,520
Speaker 3: and I think its job is to give me just

921
00:46:41,680 --> 00:46:44,000
Speaker 3: enough to fight against you know what I mean. Yeah,

922
00:46:44,680 --> 00:46:46,920
Speaker 3: So it's like I don't hate this voice. It's like

923
00:46:46,960 --> 00:46:47,640
Speaker 3: you're part of me.

924
00:46:47,719 --> 00:46:48,200
Speaker 2: We're one.

925
00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:50,759
Speaker 3: We're together, We're in this together. You're doing your thing.

926
00:46:51,120 --> 00:46:53,799
Speaker 3: I'm trying to do my thing, you know, but I

927
00:46:53,840 --> 00:46:56,040
Speaker 3: can't listen. I can't listen to you on this.

928
00:46:56,480 --> 00:47:01,200
Speaker 1: That's powerful, that the ability to not Yeah, the more

929
00:47:01,239 --> 00:47:04,160
Speaker 1: we right, there's that famous saying that says the more

930
00:47:04,200 --> 00:47:07,120
Speaker 1: you resist, it persists, like it just keeps persistent if

931
00:47:07,120 --> 00:47:09,400
Speaker 1: you keep kind of butting heads against it, And what

932
00:47:09,400 --> 00:47:11,080
Speaker 1: you're saying is actually I don't hate it. I just

933
00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:14,200
Speaker 1: I recognize its part. I see, I know that's that's

934
00:47:14,239 --> 00:47:16,800
Speaker 1: your thing. That's literally why you're here. I can't be

935
00:47:16,920 --> 00:47:21,439
Speaker 1: mad at you for fulfilling your purpose. Like, yeah, yeah,

936
00:47:21,560 --> 00:47:24,040
Speaker 1: you is that you do have that quality, like that

937
00:47:24,120 --> 00:47:28,040
Speaker 1: ability to recognize that everything has its place and everyone

938
00:47:28,120 --> 00:47:29,799
Speaker 1: has their place. Where does that come from?

939
00:47:30,120 --> 00:47:30,319
Speaker 2: There?

940
00:47:30,320 --> 00:47:35,080
Speaker 3: Compassionate like parts of me trying to make sense of everything.

941
00:47:35,160 --> 00:47:37,480
Speaker 3: I feel like it's so easy to label everything is

942
00:47:38,920 --> 00:47:42,279
Speaker 3: as like a as like a demon or just like

943
00:47:42,320 --> 00:47:46,480
Speaker 3: a like a terrible just like dark thing. But it's

944
00:47:46,560 --> 00:47:50,440
Speaker 3: like this thing, it's it exists, It has emotions and

945
00:47:50,520 --> 00:47:54,200
Speaker 3: it has feelings just like you, and it's just trying

946
00:47:54,200 --> 00:47:54,839
Speaker 3: to do his thing.

947
00:47:55,360 --> 00:47:58,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's this one statement that reminds me of what

948
00:47:58,080 --> 00:47:59,840
Speaker 1: you're saying now. You said, people feel a lot of

949
00:47:59,840 --> 00:48:02,800
Speaker 1: things about me, But boy do I love this kid

950
00:48:03,560 --> 00:48:06,239
Speaker 1: and the duck. How is how is that journey of

951
00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:09,719
Speaker 1: I love this little montera, this kid inside of me?

952
00:48:10,440 --> 00:48:12,120
Speaker 1: How is that developed?

953
00:48:12,160 --> 00:48:12,239
Speaker 2: Like?

954
00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:14,799
Speaker 1: What is that taken for you to get to a

955
00:48:14,840 --> 00:48:16,640
Speaker 1: place of being able to say that, like, I love

956
00:48:16,719 --> 00:48:18,800
Speaker 1: this kid? Because I think that's a journey we're all.

957
00:48:18,680 --> 00:48:23,600
Speaker 3: On, I think, and it's like something everybody knows, but

958
00:48:23,800 --> 00:48:27,920
Speaker 3: we forget a lot. But we're literally just all like

959
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:32,160
Speaker 3: the same person and like a different life path, you

960
00:48:32,200 --> 00:48:34,880
Speaker 3: know what I mean. And once I can really just

961
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:39,360
Speaker 3: understand and recognize that every single person has like these

962
00:48:39,400 --> 00:48:41,680
Speaker 3: thoughts or a form of like these thoughts that I

963
00:48:41,719 --> 00:48:44,360
Speaker 3: have in my head, I know I shouldn't like feel

964
00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:49,359
Speaker 3: bad about where I am or what I think, and

965
00:48:50,880 --> 00:48:55,040
Speaker 3: you know what I'm doing, because that's what this version

966
00:48:55,040 --> 00:48:57,279
Speaker 3: of me is doing. Like that's that's where I am,

967
00:48:57,360 --> 00:48:59,200
Speaker 3: and I have to love him through it and like

968
00:48:59,360 --> 00:49:02,759
Speaker 3: understand that he's going to make these, you know, mistakes,

969
00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:04,640
Speaker 3: and he's going to have accomplishments, and he's going to

970
00:49:04,719 --> 00:49:06,719
Speaker 3: have great times. He's going to have bad times, and

971
00:49:06,719 --> 00:49:08,279
Speaker 3: he's going to do amazing things, and he's going to

972
00:49:08,360 --> 00:49:09,480
Speaker 3: do terrible things.

973
00:49:09,760 --> 00:49:14,320
Speaker 2: And it's like I have to allow him to grow.

974
00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:17,479
Speaker 3: Through that and me joining the world or anybody else

975
00:49:17,840 --> 00:49:20,399
Speaker 3: and being hard on this kid is not going to help.

976
00:49:20,640 --> 00:49:22,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was just saying the other day, I was

977
00:49:22,160 --> 00:49:27,399
Speaker 1: saying to someone, you can't guilt yourself into growth. It's impossible,

978
00:49:27,960 --> 00:49:32,000
Speaker 1: Like you can't shame yourself or embarrass yourself into becoming

979
00:49:32,040 --> 00:49:35,160
Speaker 1: better that When was the last time you made someone

980
00:49:35,160 --> 00:49:36,640
Speaker 1: feel guilty and they were like, yeah, I'm going to

981
00:49:36,800 --> 00:49:38,400
Speaker 1: be the best person in the world now, Like it

982
00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:39,279
Speaker 1: doesn't work that way.

983
00:49:40,080 --> 00:49:44,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think cliches it is, like, you know, love

984
00:49:44,600 --> 00:49:46,799
Speaker 2: is really the answer for that.

985
00:49:46,960 --> 00:49:48,839
Speaker 1: How does it feel? I know you're going to go

986
00:49:49,160 --> 00:49:51,920
Speaker 1: today or tomorrow to show your family the documentary, Like

987
00:49:52,880 --> 00:49:54,640
Speaker 1: how does that make you feel to be for them

988
00:49:54,680 --> 00:49:55,480
Speaker 1: to be able to see this?

989
00:49:56,480 --> 00:49:58,600
Speaker 3: I think you want to be very like self conscious

990
00:49:59,040 --> 00:50:02,720
Speaker 3: you know the whole time, Like yeah, just like oh.

991
00:50:02,560 --> 00:50:07,080
Speaker 2: My god, Like what are they thinking about this?

992
00:50:07,280 --> 00:50:10,399
Speaker 3: You know, I've said there's this documentary that they've never

993
00:50:10,520 --> 00:50:14,080
Speaker 3: heard me. Wow, like say you know, or my perspective

994
00:50:14,120 --> 00:50:16,359
Speaker 3: on like a lot of different things and even them,

995
00:50:16,440 --> 00:50:20,080
Speaker 3: you know, talking about them and how I feel close

996
00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:21,560
Speaker 3: or not close with them.

997
00:50:22,160 --> 00:50:25,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a lot although it comes, Yeah, it comes across.

998
00:50:26,840 --> 00:50:28,680
Speaker 1: I'm hoping in a way that they can digest it.

999
00:50:28,719 --> 00:50:31,160
Speaker 1: There's a lot of love you have for your nephew. Yeah,

1000
00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:34,800
Speaker 1: and your relationship of him not wanting to see you differently,

1001
00:50:36,120 --> 00:50:39,759
Speaker 1: how is how is that relationship like progressed? And because

1002
00:50:39,760 --> 00:50:41,240
Speaker 1: how old is he he's young.

1003
00:50:41,120 --> 00:50:43,400
Speaker 2: He's eleven, he's about to be twelve this year.

1004
00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:45,600
Speaker 3: I feel like, you know, he's one of the only

1005
00:50:45,640 --> 00:50:47,799
Speaker 3: people in my family that calls me like twenty four

1006
00:50:47,800 --> 00:50:52,000
Speaker 3: to seven. And I just really like appreciate that because

1007
00:50:52,600 --> 00:50:54,640
Speaker 3: you know, before they get to like their age where

1008
00:50:54,640 --> 00:50:55,200
Speaker 3: they're just like.

1009
00:50:55,160 --> 00:50:56,920
Speaker 2: Too cool and whatnot.

1010
00:50:57,200 --> 00:51:00,680
Speaker 3: I'm happy to have like that person that's still I

1011
00:51:00,680 --> 00:51:04,759
Speaker 3: don't know, is inspired by me or still like loves me,

1012
00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:05,960
Speaker 3: like all the same.

1013
00:51:07,719 --> 00:51:10,319
Speaker 2: And yeah, yeah throughout everything, what.

1014
00:51:10,239 --> 00:51:11,799
Speaker 1: Would he say to you when he's calling you up?

1015
00:51:11,880 --> 00:51:13,919
Speaker 1: Like what's that? What is he doing? What's a twelve

1016
00:51:13,960 --> 00:51:14,680
Speaker 1: year old? You know?

1017
00:51:14,800 --> 00:51:15,040
Speaker 2: Kids?

1018
00:51:15,080 --> 00:51:17,839
Speaker 3: Like he will call and kind of just like say

1019
00:51:17,960 --> 00:51:20,360
Speaker 3: you know, what's up and then just beal like silent

1020
00:51:20,440 --> 00:51:23,040
Speaker 3: for a minute, and then it was like, yeah, I've

1021
00:51:23,080 --> 00:51:26,560
Speaker 3: been on Fortnite and like stuff, like just like kids stuff.

1022
00:51:26,560 --> 00:51:31,000
Speaker 3: And I love that it makes things much smaller because

1023
00:51:31,200 --> 00:51:33,400
Speaker 3: in my head where I have all these things and

1024
00:51:33,440 --> 00:51:36,920
Speaker 3: I feel like are the big, grandest like problems of

1025
00:51:36,960 --> 00:51:41,040
Speaker 3: my life and blah blah blah. You know, he's he's

1026
00:51:41,080 --> 00:51:43,160
Speaker 3: like in school, like trying to get his grade up

1027
00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:44,439
Speaker 3: in science, you know what I mean.

1028
00:51:44,760 --> 00:51:50,479
Speaker 2: It's like these things. Yeah. It keeps me, It keeps

1029
00:51:50,520 --> 00:51:51,439
Speaker 2: me like down to earth.

1030
00:51:51,880 --> 00:51:54,520
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. It's like when my mom calls me up

1031
00:51:55,920 --> 00:51:58,000
Speaker 1: and I've been doing you know whatever crazy thing and

1032
00:51:58,000 --> 00:52:01,800
Speaker 1: then she's like, have you eaten today? That's what? Yeah,

1033
00:52:01,800 --> 00:52:04,640
Speaker 1: She's like you had your lunch? Like have you taken

1034
00:52:04,640 --> 00:52:07,239
Speaker 1: your vitamins? Like that's what say to it? And I'm like, Mom,

1035
00:52:07,320 --> 00:52:09,400
Speaker 1: like I'm at the White House or whatever it is.

1036
00:52:09,719 --> 00:52:12,680
Speaker 1: She's just like, yeah, it's like it's the best thing though.

1037
00:52:12,719 --> 00:52:12,919
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1038
00:52:12,960 --> 00:52:15,840
Speaker 1: It keeps you grounded, keeps you connected, and You're right like,

1039
00:52:15,960 --> 00:52:20,000
Speaker 1: so often we just start getting lost in this you know,

1040
00:52:20,880 --> 00:52:23,720
Speaker 1: this big vision of what we're doing and what we're creating,

1041
00:52:24,040 --> 00:52:26,319
Speaker 1: and it kind of just pops the bubble, like you know,

1042
00:52:26,440 --> 00:52:27,279
Speaker 1: they come along and this.

1043
00:52:27,719 --> 00:52:30,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's that makes it much like smaller and easier

1044
00:52:30,680 --> 00:52:31,960
Speaker 3: to maintain in the way.

1045
00:52:32,239 --> 00:52:36,360
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, you said something about the family that really resonated.

1046
00:52:36,400 --> 00:52:39,200
Speaker 1: You said, how can we get everyone in a house

1047
00:52:39,239 --> 00:52:42,000
Speaker 1: within five years without me paying for it? And I

1048
00:52:42,040 --> 00:52:44,360
Speaker 1: was like, you know, what does that new level of

1049
00:52:44,400 --> 00:52:46,839
Speaker 1: relationship of desire mean to you?

1050
00:52:46,920 --> 00:52:47,000
Speaker 2: Like?

1051
00:52:47,040 --> 00:52:48,799
Speaker 1: What is what are you trying to create there? Or

1052
00:52:49,160 --> 00:52:50,600
Speaker 1: where does that thought come from?

1053
00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:55,480
Speaker 3: I feel like that opens a bigger like question or

1054
00:52:55,520 --> 00:52:59,680
Speaker 3: like current like problem in my life. I'm like not

1055
00:52:59,719 --> 00:53:03,600
Speaker 3: a little boy anymore. Like I'm a grown man and

1056
00:53:03,680 --> 00:53:06,799
Speaker 3: I have to take on like this this like leadership role.

1057
00:53:07,239 --> 00:53:10,360
Speaker 3: And I feel like once you break society down everything,

1058
00:53:10,400 --> 00:53:13,400
Speaker 3: it's still like tribes and whatnot. And I have tribes,

1059
00:53:13,480 --> 00:53:16,120
Speaker 3: you know, like like on my family, like like this

1060
00:53:16,160 --> 00:53:19,520
Speaker 3: is my tribe, you know, like my team around me

1061
00:53:19,520 --> 00:53:21,880
Speaker 3: and my career, like this is my tribe. I have

1062
00:53:22,040 --> 00:53:25,200
Speaker 3: to get in the front of this and try to

1063
00:53:25,239 --> 00:53:28,200
Speaker 3: figure things out and like try to understand, like how

1064
00:53:28,239 --> 00:53:31,760
Speaker 3: do these people work best? Like how can I get you,

1065
00:53:31,760 --> 00:53:34,239
Speaker 3: you know, to doing your best thing? And how can

1066
00:53:34,280 --> 00:53:35,680
Speaker 3: I get you to doing your best thing so we

1067
00:53:35,719 --> 00:53:38,120
Speaker 3: can all progress because of course, you know, I got

1068
00:53:38,160 --> 00:53:40,840
Speaker 3: to get myself right first before I do anything. But

1069
00:53:40,880 --> 00:53:43,759
Speaker 3: it's like also I have to understand, like how can

1070
00:53:43,800 --> 00:53:45,560
Speaker 3: I help you. I'm in this place. I believe the

1071
00:53:45,640 --> 00:53:50,040
Speaker 3: universe sitting me here to try to try to fix things.

1072
00:53:50,040 --> 00:53:53,400
Speaker 3: You know, It's like how do I build your confidence up?

1073
00:53:53,440 --> 00:53:55,400
Speaker 3: Like with my brothers and sisters, Like how do I

1074
00:53:55,440 --> 00:53:56,400
Speaker 3: build your confidence up?

1075
00:53:56,920 --> 00:53:57,120
Speaker 2: Us?

1076
00:53:57,160 --> 00:53:59,400
Speaker 3: All these people that grew up in these places where

1077
00:53:59,560 --> 00:54:01,320
Speaker 3: we've been hold over and over in our life, like

1078
00:54:01,440 --> 00:54:04,200
Speaker 3: even each other and our family members and the world

1079
00:54:04,280 --> 00:54:06,759
Speaker 3: that were not like, how do I get you the

1080
00:54:06,800 --> 00:54:10,800
Speaker 3: confidence to chase your own dream or if your dream's

1081
00:54:10,800 --> 00:54:14,160
Speaker 3: not something like grand grand you know, how do I

1082
00:54:14,239 --> 00:54:17,440
Speaker 3: get you to I don't know, be on my team

1083
00:54:17,520 --> 00:54:20,239
Speaker 3: and just something where you're happy. And it's so hard

1084
00:54:20,239 --> 00:54:24,080
Speaker 3: to get people organized and organized things and realize that

1085
00:54:24,160 --> 00:54:26,960
Speaker 3: this is something I have to do because if I

1086
00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:29,120
Speaker 3: don't do it, it may not get.

1087
00:54:28,960 --> 00:54:29,640
Speaker 2: Done, you know what I mean.

1088
00:54:29,960 --> 00:54:33,239
Speaker 3: H Yeah, but yeah, I'm at that place where I'm

1089
00:54:33,239 --> 00:54:34,120
Speaker 3: trying to figure that out.

1090
00:54:34,200 --> 00:54:36,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, I can understand that it's hard because you've got

1091
00:54:36,400 --> 00:54:40,359
Speaker 1: so many roles on your team. Then there's family, there's

1092
00:54:40,480 --> 00:54:43,319
Speaker 1: friends coming up. I mean, it's hard, and it's hard

1093
00:54:43,320 --> 00:54:45,360
Speaker 1: to put everyone on too. I mean I've spoken to

1094
00:54:45,400 --> 00:54:52,120
Speaker 1: so many people who you know today, like top musicians, artists, actors,

1095
00:54:52,160 --> 00:54:55,600
Speaker 1: who've had that years ago where friends wanted to move

1096
00:54:55,640 --> 00:54:58,319
Speaker 1: from their hometown and come and join the team, and

1097
00:54:58,360 --> 00:55:00,000
Speaker 1: then sometimes they didn't want to put in the world,

1098
00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:03,719
Speaker 1: and sometimes they did and sometimes they made it. Like

1099
00:55:03,760 --> 00:55:06,520
Speaker 1: I know a friend of mine who's this person used

1100
00:55:06,520 --> 00:55:09,080
Speaker 1: to see people at these shows thirty years ago and

1101
00:55:09,080 --> 00:55:12,120
Speaker 1: today she's directing documentaries with him, right, And it's like

1102
00:55:12,160 --> 00:55:15,080
Speaker 1: a beautiful journey and it's amazing for them to have.

1103
00:55:15,560 --> 00:55:17,160
Speaker 1: But then on the other end, you've also got friends

1104
00:55:17,200 --> 00:55:19,919
Speaker 1: who are given a route out, but then they let

1105
00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:22,000
Speaker 1: the money and the fame and the drugs and alcohol

1106
00:55:22,080 --> 00:55:24,920
Speaker 1: and everything consume them. And you recognize it's almost like

1107
00:55:24,920 --> 00:55:27,160
Speaker 1: you can only give people opportunities, but they've got to

1108
00:55:27,680 --> 00:55:28,759
Speaker 1: take them for themselves.

1109
00:55:29,200 --> 00:55:31,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's that's hard to like come to grips with,

1110
00:55:31,920 --> 00:55:34,880
Speaker 3: you know, like you can give us many like speeches

1111
00:55:35,000 --> 00:55:38,560
Speaker 3: or or talks or like as much guidance as you want,

1112
00:55:38,600 --> 00:55:41,759
Speaker 3: but it's just so hard to help some people up.

1113
00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:44,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, it is, it is. But that's something that feels

1114
00:55:44,719 --> 00:55:45,360
Speaker 1: important to you.

1115
00:55:45,600 --> 00:55:48,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, something that feels important is also something that you know,

1116
00:55:49,200 --> 00:55:51,000
Speaker 3: it crushes you a little bit, you know, back to

1117
00:55:51,080 --> 00:55:54,359
Speaker 3: that whole like factor of you can't control this thing.

1118
00:55:54,719 --> 00:55:58,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can't. There's nothing you can do about this.

1119
00:55:58,800 --> 00:56:00,959
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like this this is not a question

1120
00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:03,080
Speaker 1: of me and you can solve here at all, because

1121
00:56:03,120 --> 00:56:05,480
Speaker 1: it is almost the question of life. But it's like,

1122
00:56:07,200 --> 00:56:09,839
Speaker 1: how do we how do we deal with a lack

1123
00:56:09,920 --> 00:56:12,440
Speaker 1: of control? Every day? Like, how do we deal with

1124
00:56:12,520 --> 00:56:15,040
Speaker 1: the fact that we can't control things? So how do

1125
00:56:15,120 --> 00:56:17,120
Speaker 1: you deal with the fact that you can't control everything

1126
00:56:17,400 --> 00:56:20,520
Speaker 1: in all of these how have you have you found

1127
00:56:20,520 --> 00:56:21,960
Speaker 1: any coping mechanisms?

1128
00:56:22,080 --> 00:56:26,080
Speaker 3: I have, oh cool, and I have one main coping

1129
00:56:26,120 --> 00:56:29,279
Speaker 3: mechanism and it's so silly, but it helps me through

1130
00:56:29,400 --> 00:56:32,399
Speaker 3: life a lot. And it's and it's like, dude, you're

1131
00:56:32,440 --> 00:56:34,840
Speaker 3: a gummy bear, and it doesn't make sense.

1132
00:56:35,320 --> 00:56:36,920
Speaker 1: I love gummy bears. I'm listening, but.

1133
00:56:36,880 --> 00:56:41,560
Speaker 2: It's like all of this it's in our head.

1134
00:56:41,840 --> 00:56:45,279
Speaker 3: It's all like a journey and in the grand scheme

1135
00:56:45,360 --> 00:56:49,560
Speaker 3: of things, as this individual, I am just a gummy bear.

1136
00:56:49,640 --> 00:56:52,319
Speaker 3: It's not that serious. It's not that deep key moving.

1137
00:56:52,320 --> 00:56:55,320
Speaker 3: For of course, it's a contradiction because it's everything to me.

1138
00:56:55,480 --> 00:56:59,800
Speaker 3: It means everything to me. It's it's it's my whole being.

1139
00:57:00,360 --> 00:57:03,040
Speaker 3: But it's like, but I'm also a gummy bear, so

1140
00:57:03,120 --> 00:57:05,880
Speaker 3: it doesn't really matter if this thing, you know, it

1141
00:57:06,080 --> 00:57:08,680
Speaker 3: doesn't matter, like, dude, relax, you know.

1142
00:57:09,239 --> 00:57:10,799
Speaker 2: So it's like a fight between those two.

1143
00:57:10,880 --> 00:57:14,399
Speaker 3: But that me being a gummy bear is like one

1144
00:57:14,400 --> 00:57:16,200
Speaker 3: of the only things that's going to get me through

1145
00:57:16,240 --> 00:57:18,160
Speaker 3: this really hard thing.

1146
00:57:18,280 --> 00:57:20,160
Speaker 2: That i'm fighting, fighting or facing you know.

1147
00:57:20,440 --> 00:57:22,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I like that. I like that. I've never

1148
00:57:22,960 --> 00:57:24,920
Speaker 1: had it put that way, so I like it. I

1149
00:57:24,960 --> 00:57:27,360
Speaker 1: like that. It's silly. It's a yeah, the idea of

1150
00:57:27,440 --> 00:57:31,240
Speaker 1: embracing our own insignificance. It's like, we have our significance.

1151
00:57:31,400 --> 00:57:33,280
Speaker 1: We know what we're doing is important, but at the

1152
00:57:33,320 --> 00:57:37,480
Speaker 1: same time, we're going to embrace the insignificance so irrelevance.

1153
00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:41,040
Speaker 2: Like yeah, like relax, Like, yeah, it's not that serious.

1154
00:57:41,120 --> 00:57:43,320
Speaker 2: It's super serious, but it's not that serious.

1155
00:57:44,400 --> 00:57:48,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a funny conversation inside for sure. Yeah. There's

1156
00:57:48,600 --> 00:57:51,920
Speaker 1: another thing that came up where you said that if

1157
00:57:51,960 --> 00:57:53,840
Speaker 1: I settle into a house, I feel like I'll have

1158
00:57:53,920 --> 00:57:56,760
Speaker 1: to be there forever. There's this idea of like, you know,

1159
00:57:56,800 --> 00:57:59,040
Speaker 1: there's a shot in the documentary with all your suitcases

1160
00:57:59,040 --> 00:58:01,760
Speaker 1: there and you're like not sure about the couch, and

1161
00:58:02,120 --> 00:58:04,320
Speaker 1: I was wondering, like, where does the fear of being

1162
00:58:04,360 --> 00:58:06,240
Speaker 1: somewhere forever come from?

1163
00:58:06,520 --> 00:58:10,240
Speaker 3: I think it's like the whole idea of like becoming comfortable,

1164
00:58:10,400 --> 00:58:13,760
Speaker 3: you know. And of course I do have like couches

1165
00:58:13,800 --> 00:58:15,840
Speaker 3: and stuff. Now I have like a new couch and

1166
00:58:15,880 --> 00:58:18,000
Speaker 3: I have like my cats, which I was very like

1167
00:58:18,280 --> 00:58:21,840
Speaker 3: hesitant to do. But you know, I was very afraid

1168
00:58:21,840 --> 00:58:25,640
Speaker 3: of getting like super comfortable with my like Hollywood life.

1169
00:58:26,040 --> 00:58:28,600
Speaker 3: You know, I have like my house and stuff, and

1170
00:58:28,640 --> 00:58:31,680
Speaker 3: now I'm going to get all my Grammys over here,

1171
00:58:31,760 --> 00:58:33,600
Speaker 3: and I'm going to put my couch right there, and

1172
00:58:33,640 --> 00:58:35,520
Speaker 3: here's my mona least at painting.

1173
00:58:35,520 --> 00:58:38,400
Speaker 2: Like stuff like that. I was very fearful that once

1174
00:58:38,440 --> 00:58:41,560
Speaker 2: I did that, I'm just going to like relax all

1175
00:58:41,600 --> 00:58:42,040
Speaker 2: the time.

1176
00:58:43,400 --> 00:58:46,200
Speaker 3: But now I see it definitely, it's like I want

1177
00:58:46,240 --> 00:58:49,600
Speaker 3: to relax sometimes to keep myself seene. And I am

1178
00:58:49,640 --> 00:58:51,560
Speaker 3: going to like put my house together because there's nothing

1179
00:58:51,600 --> 00:58:54,280
Speaker 3: wrong with that. And I have to live because, as

1180
00:58:54,320 --> 00:58:57,880
Speaker 3: I said, like this goes by so fast. I'm twenty four,

1181
00:58:58,000 --> 00:58:59,880
Speaker 3: like going on twenty five, and I feel like like

1182
00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:01,320
Speaker 3: two days ago I was nineteen.

1183
00:59:01,920 --> 00:59:02,120
Speaker 2: You know.

1184
00:59:02,560 --> 00:59:04,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like your home has to be a

1185
00:59:04,600 --> 00:59:07,280
Speaker 1: sanctuary for you, whatever that means for you, like it

1186
00:59:07,280 --> 00:59:10,200
Speaker 1: fiells and fuels you up for the crazy life you

1187
00:59:10,200 --> 00:59:12,840
Speaker 1: live because I'm sure you're going on tour again, you

1188
00:59:12,880 --> 00:59:16,000
Speaker 1: will go on multiple tours across your lifetime. Like the

1189
00:59:16,080 --> 00:59:17,840
Speaker 1: time that you are spending there, you want it to

1190
00:59:17,840 --> 00:59:20,800
Speaker 1: be comfortable you want it to be re energizing. What

1191
00:59:20,840 --> 00:59:22,640
Speaker 1: does that look to you? What does rest look like

1192
00:59:22,680 --> 00:59:22,920
Speaker 1: for you?

1193
00:59:22,960 --> 00:59:23,120
Speaker 2: Now?

1194
00:59:23,160 --> 00:59:25,320
Speaker 1: Like what is taking a break look like to you?

1195
00:59:25,360 --> 00:59:28,800
Speaker 1: Because you are someone who's ambitious and hard working and driven.

1196
00:59:29,360 --> 00:59:31,080
Speaker 1: But now to get back up on that.

1197
00:59:31,240 --> 00:59:33,920
Speaker 3: I think I have one main thing and it's super simple.

1198
00:59:34,680 --> 00:59:36,840
Speaker 3: It's going to see a movie. I like to go

1199
00:59:36,880 --> 00:59:39,280
Speaker 3: and see a movie, like I don't know, some once,

1200
00:59:39,400 --> 00:59:42,440
Speaker 3: maybe twice, sometimes even three times, like a week, and

1201
00:59:43,080 --> 00:59:45,360
Speaker 3: that's like my escape is a moment or like my

1202
00:59:45,520 --> 00:59:48,880
Speaker 3: moment of like rest or away from everything, you know,

1203
00:59:49,040 --> 00:59:52,720
Speaker 3: like during my time, you know, when I dropped the

1204
00:59:53,120 --> 00:59:56,320
Speaker 3: artwork for my last single, and like it was like

1205
00:59:56,360 --> 00:59:58,840
Speaker 3: a hell escape. I went to see this what we

1206
00:59:58,920 --> 01:00:02,320
Speaker 3: call Migration, which like this animated movie about like birds,

1207
01:00:02,760 --> 01:00:05,240
Speaker 3: like flying places, and it's just like this fun, like

1208
01:00:05,440 --> 01:00:09,640
Speaker 3: childlike movie. And I was there. I was in that movie.

1209
01:00:09,640 --> 01:00:11,840
Speaker 3: That was my rest, that was my piece, that was

1210
01:00:11,880 --> 01:00:13,120
Speaker 3: my since you know what I mean?

1211
01:00:13,280 --> 01:00:16,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love that. I love going to

1212
01:00:16,160 --> 01:00:18,080
Speaker 1: the movies too. Was that the most recent thing you saw?

1213
01:00:18,600 --> 01:00:21,360
Speaker 1: Was there anything else that kind of it's been the

1214
01:00:21,360 --> 01:00:23,080
Speaker 1: best movie you've seen this year? With the oscars are

1215
01:00:23,120 --> 01:00:24,320
Speaker 1: coming up to I want to.

1216
01:00:24,240 --> 01:00:27,240
Speaker 2: See like Poor Things, but it was very dark. Yeah,

1217
01:00:27,400 --> 01:00:28,040
Speaker 2: but very dark.

1218
01:00:28,080 --> 01:00:29,439
Speaker 1: What was yeah? What was it like? I haven't seen

1219
01:00:29,440 --> 01:00:29,880
Speaker 1: it yet.

1220
01:00:29,760 --> 01:00:30,240
Speaker 2: What was it like?

1221
01:00:30,360 --> 01:00:30,800
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1222
01:00:30,920 --> 01:00:33,840
Speaker 3: It was like emm a Stone just giving like an

1223
01:00:33,880 --> 01:00:36,680
Speaker 3: amazing performance. It was also like this movie that was

1224
01:00:37,280 --> 01:00:39,919
Speaker 3: so weird, nothing like what I've seen before, like they

1225
01:00:40,000 --> 01:00:42,000
Speaker 3: like ari astor like vibes, you know what I mean.

1226
01:00:42,200 --> 01:00:44,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, I'm glad you're not giving away.

1227
01:00:44,480 --> 01:00:45,960
Speaker 2: I really want to I don't want to give away.

1228
01:00:46,120 --> 01:00:48,000
Speaker 1: I really want to see it. Yeah, I'm looking forward

1229
01:00:48,040 --> 01:00:49,800
Speaker 1: to I love going to movies too. I'm a big

1230
01:00:49,880 --> 01:00:53,080
Speaker 1: big I loved Oppenheim a last Yeah have you seen

1231
01:00:53,080 --> 01:00:53,400
Speaker 1: that yet?

1232
01:00:53,400 --> 01:00:56,360
Speaker 2: I saw Oppenheimer, but it wasn't for me. It wasn't

1233
01:00:56,400 --> 01:00:56,640
Speaker 2: for me.

1234
01:00:57,320 --> 01:01:00,320
Speaker 1: I'm a Nolan. I'm a Nolan fan. Christ Nolan found

1235
01:01:00,360 --> 01:01:03,120
Speaker 1: in like every movie he makes. I'm like, I love it.

1236
01:01:03,160 --> 01:01:05,720
Speaker 1: When well Opene might have got more of TenneT was

1237
01:01:05,720 --> 01:01:07,400
Speaker 1: the one that was the hardest one to get than

1238
01:01:07,400 --> 01:01:07,920
Speaker 1: if you ever.

1239
01:01:07,760 --> 01:01:10,680
Speaker 2: Saw Yeah, but I like it.

1240
01:01:10,760 --> 01:01:13,080
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, he makes movies. I love his

1241
01:01:13,120 --> 01:01:17,360
Speaker 1: movies because he's always creating things where it's not set

1242
01:01:17,440 --> 01:01:19,640
Speaker 1: up to be consumed like the average movie.

1243
01:01:19,680 --> 01:01:20,760
Speaker 2: Like you got to go.

1244
01:01:21,240 --> 01:01:23,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, you gotta look up and go on a form

1245
01:01:23,360 --> 01:01:24,960
Speaker 3: or something and try to understand it.

1246
01:01:25,080 --> 01:01:27,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm that guy, like looking at every little graphic

1247
01:01:27,400 --> 01:01:32,240
Speaker 1: explaining like the timeframe and everything else that comes with it. Montero,

1248
01:01:32,320 --> 01:01:33,800
Speaker 1: what is it that you know?

1249
01:01:33,880 --> 01:01:34,240
Speaker 2: What are you?

1250
01:01:34,240 --> 01:01:36,680
Speaker 1: What are you excited about over the next you know,

1251
01:01:36,760 --> 01:01:39,480
Speaker 1: twelve months for you? What's something that's inspiring pulling you

1252
01:01:39,560 --> 01:01:42,400
Speaker 1: and pushing you forward right now for the next twelve months.

1253
01:01:42,480 --> 01:01:48,800
Speaker 3: I think the main thing I'm focused on is picking

1254
01:01:48,840 --> 01:01:52,600
Speaker 3: myself up out of this this.

1255
01:01:54,160 --> 01:01:56,200
Speaker 2: Hole that I like feel there man, you know what

1256
01:01:56,240 --> 01:01:57,480
Speaker 2: I mean, and.

1257
01:01:58,760 --> 01:02:02,920
Speaker 3: Trying to figure out with songs of the hundreds or whatnot,

1258
01:02:02,920 --> 01:02:06,320
Speaker 3: I've been working on suit me best for going forward?

1259
01:02:07,680 --> 01:02:09,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, and what does that process look like?

1260
01:02:09,520 --> 01:02:09,600
Speaker 2: Like?

1261
01:02:09,680 --> 01:02:13,560
Speaker 1: How do you how do you actually do that in

1262
01:02:13,600 --> 01:02:15,280
Speaker 1: an actionable, practical way?

1263
01:02:15,480 --> 01:02:18,440
Speaker 3: I guess trying to feel which ones feel real to

1264
01:02:18,480 --> 01:02:20,760
Speaker 3: me and back to the other thing, but are also

1265
01:02:20,880 --> 01:02:23,360
Speaker 3: like consumable you know what I mean?

1266
01:02:23,680 --> 01:02:26,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, and how do you judge that? Because I guess, like,

1267
01:02:26,320 --> 01:02:29,000
Speaker 1: how do you as an artist even are you just

1268
01:02:29,000 --> 01:02:33,160
Speaker 1: trusting intuition? Is their data? Is their prayer? Like out? Yeah?

1269
01:02:33,160 --> 01:02:37,120
Speaker 3: What is that intuition plus like I feel like spiritual

1270
01:02:37,200 --> 01:02:40,040
Speaker 3: like signs, Yeah.

1271
01:02:39,640 --> 01:02:41,640
Speaker 1: Walk me through the spiritual signs. I like that.

1272
01:02:41,760 --> 01:02:46,560
Speaker 3: For example, in my last song, you know, my last single,

1273
01:02:47,120 --> 01:02:49,840
Speaker 3: Jay Christ Like, I was kind of hesitant, was like,

1274
01:02:49,920 --> 01:02:52,520
Speaker 3: is this is this where I'm going to get me

1275
01:02:52,680 --> 01:02:54,680
Speaker 3: to the next place? And every time I would think

1276
01:02:54,720 --> 01:02:57,240
Speaker 3: about it, I would magically like see across in the

1277
01:02:57,280 --> 01:03:00,120
Speaker 3: distance or something like that. I was like, Okay, this

1278
01:03:00,320 --> 01:03:02,720
Speaker 3: is a part of my journey. This is something, This

1279
01:03:02,800 --> 01:03:05,480
Speaker 3: is a threshold I'll have to cross through to get

1280
01:03:05,560 --> 01:03:10,520
Speaker 3: to the other side, or for example, another one. And

1281
01:03:10,600 --> 01:03:12,480
Speaker 3: I was worried about, like releasing calling by your Name.

1282
01:03:12,520 --> 01:03:14,080
Speaker 3: I'm just like, oh my god, I don't know if

1283
01:03:14,120 --> 01:03:17,200
Speaker 3: I should. And then good Days by like says it

1284
01:03:17,240 --> 01:03:19,720
Speaker 3: comes on the radio, you know, and I'm just like ah,

1285
01:03:19,800 --> 01:03:24,280
Speaker 3: And then the most beautiful like sun sunrise happens at

1286
01:03:24,320 --> 01:03:25,120
Speaker 3: the exact same time.

1287
01:03:25,160 --> 01:03:27,320
Speaker 2: It's just like, Okay, this is you know what I mean.

1288
01:03:27,400 --> 01:03:29,800
Speaker 3: And I guess it's like things that are in everyday life,

1289
01:03:29,880 --> 01:03:33,040
Speaker 3: but I don't mistake that for just being every day life,

1290
01:03:33,080 --> 01:03:35,600
Speaker 3: Like this is meant to be.

1291
01:03:36,080 --> 01:03:37,320
Speaker 2: This has to happen this way.

1292
01:03:37,560 --> 01:03:40,000
Speaker 1: When did you start looking for those or noticing those

1293
01:03:40,120 --> 01:03:40,840
Speaker 1: in your life.

1294
01:03:41,360 --> 01:03:43,840
Speaker 3: I think when I first moved to LA and I

1295
01:03:43,920 --> 01:03:49,120
Speaker 3: felt like communicating, you know, I felt like I was

1296
01:03:49,160 --> 01:03:52,000
Speaker 3: talking to my angels. It wasn't it was like magic,

1297
01:03:52,040 --> 01:03:54,600
Speaker 3: you know what I mean, like like seeing like angel numbers,

1298
01:03:54,600 --> 01:03:56,000
Speaker 3: like I believe in angel numbers alive.

1299
01:03:56,560 --> 01:03:57,360
Speaker 2: I'll give you a story.

1300
01:03:58,160 --> 01:04:01,040
Speaker 3: So I'm like, sitting at this cafe is breakfast time

1301
01:04:01,080 --> 01:04:03,040
Speaker 3: old town roll, you know, just hit like number on

1302
01:04:03,120 --> 01:04:05,960
Speaker 3: the charts. I'm already thinking in my head, though I'm

1303
01:04:06,000 --> 01:04:08,680
Speaker 3: moving to La, I'm not going to really like be

1304
01:04:09,160 --> 01:04:12,720
Speaker 3: super you know with my family and whatnot, Like I'm

1305
01:04:12,720 --> 01:04:14,120
Speaker 3: going to do my own thing now.

1306
01:04:14,440 --> 01:04:16,880
Speaker 2: And I started seeing like this number it was.

1307
01:04:16,840 --> 01:04:18,560
Speaker 3: And then I looked up what the number meant and

1308
01:04:18,600 --> 01:04:22,640
Speaker 3: it was like you need to, you know, bring your

1309
01:04:22,640 --> 01:04:24,640
Speaker 3: family together. Basically, it was like, you need to spend

1310
01:04:24,680 --> 01:04:26,600
Speaker 3: more time with your family to bring your family together.

1311
01:04:26,920 --> 01:04:30,720
Speaker 3: I was like, I was like, no, I don't. I

1312
01:04:30,760 --> 01:04:32,480
Speaker 3: don't think I'm gonna do that. And I just started

1313
01:04:32,480 --> 01:04:35,200
Speaker 3: seeing that number over and over and over. And I

1314
01:04:35,240 --> 01:04:39,080
Speaker 3: called my I called my my siblings. I was like,

1315
01:04:39,200 --> 01:04:41,680
Speaker 3: I want to have our first like what's it called

1316
01:04:41,760 --> 01:04:42,600
Speaker 3: family reunion?

1317
01:04:43,120 --> 01:04:44,000
Speaker 2: And I did that thing.

1318
01:04:44,400 --> 01:04:46,480
Speaker 3: And I started seeing a different number and I looked

1319
01:04:46,560 --> 01:04:48,000
Speaker 3: up what that number meant, and it was just like

1320
01:04:48,040 --> 01:04:50,439
Speaker 3: you're on the right path, like and I kept seeing

1321
01:04:50,440 --> 01:04:51,720
Speaker 3: that number over and over, you know what I mean.

1322
01:04:52,400 --> 01:04:55,920
Speaker 3: So it was something it was something like that.

1323
01:04:56,120 --> 01:04:59,960
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well yeah, and then that's and that's been nomore

1324
01:05:00,080 --> 01:05:02,840
Speaker 1: a discovery for you as opposed to something you were

1325
01:05:02,880 --> 01:05:06,280
Speaker 1: taught or trained or heard learned. It's been self taught almost.

1326
01:05:06,360 --> 01:05:06,560
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1327
01:05:06,600 --> 01:05:09,760
Speaker 3: And it's also like something that felt very real because

1328
01:05:09,760 --> 01:05:12,680
Speaker 3: you know, at that time, like I wasn't spiritual at all,

1329
01:05:12,720 --> 01:05:15,120
Speaker 3: you know, I didn't believe in any of the stuff.

1330
01:05:15,120 --> 01:05:17,600
Speaker 3: And I was just like, okay, yeah, I see. I

1331
01:05:18,200 --> 01:05:21,320
Speaker 3: feel like you guys are there. I don't understand you completely, but.

1332
01:05:21,720 --> 01:05:24,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, and what are you like when you like can't

1333
01:05:24,040 --> 01:05:26,040
Speaker 1: see the sign or you can't find the answer, is

1334
01:05:26,080 --> 01:05:29,200
Speaker 1: there something that helps you kind of realign or reconnect.

1335
01:05:29,480 --> 01:05:32,160
Speaker 3: I feel like at that point, I just have to

1336
01:05:32,160 --> 01:05:34,960
Speaker 3: trust what I feel in my heart, you know, And

1337
01:05:35,000 --> 01:05:39,360
Speaker 3: I feel like there's a there's a calm sense when

1338
01:05:39,400 --> 01:05:40,640
Speaker 3: I know.

1339
01:05:41,040 --> 01:05:46,680
Speaker 2: Something is right. There's like a it's like a washing

1340
01:05:46,720 --> 01:05:50,360
Speaker 2: of Okay, this is good. Yeah. I can't explain it.

1341
01:05:50,520 --> 01:05:53,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, I get that yeah. I mean that's the beauty

1342
01:05:53,160 --> 01:05:58,560
Speaker 1: of trying to explain in words things that are experienced intangibly. Right.

1343
01:05:58,640 --> 01:06:02,560
Speaker 1: It's it's hard, it's challenging. But I think anyone who's

1344
01:06:02,960 --> 01:06:05,520
Speaker 1: I know a lot of our community and our audience

1345
01:06:06,600 --> 01:06:08,920
Speaker 1: is able to see signs or knows what their signs

1346
01:06:08,920 --> 01:06:12,120
Speaker 1: are and their experiences and what they are. And I

1347
01:06:12,160 --> 01:06:18,560
Speaker 1: officiated a wedding in December and the individual who's getting

1348
01:06:18,560 --> 01:06:23,600
Speaker 1: married or it loves the color blue and sees her

1349
01:06:23,600 --> 01:06:26,440
Speaker 1: father's presence as a butterfly. And when I was leading

1350
01:06:26,440 --> 01:06:28,480
Speaker 1: the ceremony, there was a moment in the ceremony that

1351
01:06:28,520 --> 01:06:30,800
Speaker 1: I asked everyone to close their eyes and meditate with us.

1352
01:06:31,800 --> 01:06:34,320
Speaker 1: And then we opened our eyes and some of us

1353
01:06:34,360 --> 01:06:37,600
Speaker 1: still had our eyes closed, and a blue butterfly literally

1354
01:06:37,640 --> 01:06:40,080
Speaker 1: just flew right through the garden. There was only one.

1355
01:06:40,120 --> 01:06:41,720
Speaker 1: It wasn't like we were in a butterfly park or

1356
01:06:42,280 --> 01:06:44,200
Speaker 1: something like that. And I can see that you can

1357
01:06:44,240 --> 01:06:46,760
Speaker 1: sense abi and it was just it was beautiful, Like

1358
01:06:46,800 --> 01:06:48,640
Speaker 1: it was one of those moments where everyone afterwards like,

1359
01:06:48,840 --> 01:06:50,600
Speaker 1: did you see the blue butterfly? Because they know how

1360
01:06:50,640 --> 01:06:52,920
Speaker 1: important it is to the bride, And it was just

1361
01:06:52,960 --> 01:06:55,520
Speaker 1: this magical moment of you know, for her to have

1362
01:06:55,520 --> 01:06:59,400
Speaker 1: her father's presence at her wedding who's no longer with us. Yeah,

1363
01:06:59,440 --> 01:07:02,680
Speaker 1: it was really really special. So yeah, I think those

1364
01:07:02,800 --> 01:07:04,560
Speaker 1: for those who are on that path, who are aware

1365
01:07:04,600 --> 01:07:08,440
Speaker 1: of those things, I'm sure they'll resonate with what you're saying. Yeah, yeah,

1366
01:07:08,480 --> 01:07:13,240
Speaker 1: it's beautiful, Montero. We end every episode with a final five.

1367
01:07:14,240 --> 01:07:16,320
Speaker 1: These are the fast five. They can only be answered

1368
01:07:16,320 --> 01:07:19,440
Speaker 1: in one word to one sentence maximum. We ask them

1369
01:07:19,440 --> 01:07:22,680
Speaker 1: to every guest, and you've been such a kind, gracious

1370
01:07:22,720 --> 01:07:25,000
Speaker 1: guest with your time, so Montero, these are your final five.

1371
01:07:25,560 --> 01:07:28,640
Speaker 1: Question number one is what is the best advice you've

1372
01:07:28,640 --> 01:07:29,720
Speaker 1: ever heard or received?

1373
01:07:30,760 --> 01:07:31,520
Speaker 2: Do it scared?

1374
01:07:32,280 --> 01:07:35,320
Speaker 1: I like that second question, what is the worst advice

1375
01:07:35,320 --> 01:07:36,480
Speaker 1: you've ever heard or received?

1376
01:07:37,320 --> 01:07:38,360
Speaker 2: I don't know about that one.

1377
01:07:38,800 --> 01:07:41,360
Speaker 1: You block it out? Yeah, I don't have that one.

1378
01:07:41,520 --> 01:07:44,960
Speaker 1: Yeah that's cool. Question number three, what's the first thing

1379
01:07:45,000 --> 01:07:46,400
Speaker 1: you do in the morning and the last thing you

1380
01:07:46,400 --> 01:07:46,880
Speaker 1: do at night.

1381
01:07:47,840 --> 01:07:51,040
Speaker 2: First thing I do in the morning I get my

1382
01:07:51,120 --> 01:07:51,840
Speaker 2: cats off a bit.

1383
01:07:52,480 --> 01:07:56,720
Speaker 3: And the last thing I do at night hmm, I

1384
01:07:56,760 --> 01:07:58,880
Speaker 3: try to move my feet in place where my cats

1385
01:07:58,920 --> 01:07:59,840
Speaker 3: won't scratch it in.

1386
01:08:01,800 --> 01:08:02,080
Speaker 2: Nice.

1387
01:08:02,720 --> 01:08:06,760
Speaker 1: Question number four what's something that you used to value

1388
01:08:07,000 --> 01:08:08,280
Speaker 1: that you don't value anymore.

1389
01:08:09,000 --> 01:08:10,760
Speaker 2: I guess approval from everyone around me.

1390
01:08:10,840 --> 01:08:15,160
Speaker 1: I guess yeah, yeah, you're allowing yourself to let that go.

1391
01:08:15,520 --> 01:08:17,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right.

1392
01:08:17,520 --> 01:08:20,120
Speaker 1: Fifth and final question we asked this every guest who's

1393
01:08:20,160 --> 01:08:22,080
Speaker 1: ever been on the show. If you could create one

1394
01:08:22,240 --> 01:08:25,080
Speaker 1: law that everyone in the world had to follow, what

1395
01:08:25,120 --> 01:08:25,639
Speaker 1: would it be?

1396
01:08:28,880 --> 01:08:29,760
Speaker 2: You have a different one.

1397
01:08:31,400 --> 01:08:34,360
Speaker 1: I love that. That's brilliant. I don't have to break

1398
01:08:34,400 --> 01:08:37,840
Speaker 1: my law with you. What advice would you give to

1399
01:08:37,880 --> 01:08:38,639
Speaker 1: your younger self?

1400
01:08:39,520 --> 01:08:43,960
Speaker 2: Make sure you love yourself enough more.

1401
01:08:45,439 --> 01:08:49,000
Speaker 3: Than anybody else in this entire world, like ever could?

1402
01:08:50,240 --> 01:08:52,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I say that.

1403
01:08:51,720 --> 01:08:54,840
Speaker 1: It's a long lived Montero. The documentary is out right now,

1404
01:08:55,439 --> 01:09:00,240
Speaker 1: Montero let Nasax. It has been I know. I know

1405
01:09:00,360 --> 01:09:03,000
Speaker 1: for you, however the experience goes, I'd love to hear

1406
01:09:03,080 --> 01:09:07,760
Speaker 1: from you. But honestly, I think the depth, the openness,

1407
01:09:07,880 --> 01:09:09,800
Speaker 1: and I want to thank you for showing up when

1408
01:09:09,800 --> 01:09:13,240
Speaker 1: you didn't have to off your own accord and trusting

1409
01:09:13,280 --> 01:09:15,400
Speaker 1: me and giving me this space and time. So I'm

1410
01:09:15,439 --> 01:09:17,720
Speaker 1: grateful to you and thankful to you for showing up

1411
01:09:17,760 --> 01:09:18,519
Speaker 1: in the way that I did.

1412
01:09:19,280 --> 01:09:19,680
Speaker 2: Thank you.

1413
01:09:19,840 --> 01:09:22,439
Speaker 3: I'm hardy to be here and I'm appreciative of you,

1414
01:09:22,479 --> 01:09:24,519
Speaker 3: know how you've helped me through this.

1415
01:09:25,439 --> 01:09:29,200
Speaker 1: Thank you Cool, Thank you, Matt, thank you so much.

1416
01:09:29,400 --> 01:09:32,519
Speaker 1: If you love this episode, you'll enjoy my conversation with

1417
01:09:32,600 --> 01:09:36,600
Speaker 1: Megan Trainer on breaking generational trauma and how to be

1418
01:09:36,760 --> 01:09:40,000
Speaker 1: confident from the inside out. My therapist told me stand

1419
01:09:40,000 --> 01:09:42,200
Speaker 1: in the mirror naked for five minutes.

1420
01:09:42,320 --> 01:09:43,960
Speaker 3: It was already tough for me to love my body,

1421
01:09:44,000 --> 01:09:47,160
Speaker 3: but after the C section scarf with all the stretch.

1422
01:09:46,880 --> 01:09:49,200
Speaker 1: Marks, now I'm looking at myself like I've been hacked.

1423
01:09:49,320 --> 01:09:51,439
Speaker 1: But day three, when I did it, I was like,

1424
01:09:51,560 --> 01:09:52,920
Speaker 1: you know what, her thigh is a cute