1 00:00:04,835 --> 00:00:21,435 Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. Go 2 00:00:21,515 --> 00:00:25,635 Speaker 1: and look for Jack Smith's evidence against Trump. Go and 3 00:00:25,675 --> 00:00:28,955 Speaker 1: look for Jack Smith's evidence of a third coup. On 4 00:00:29,075 --> 00:00:31,915 Speaker 1: January sixth, go and look for them on the front 5 00:00:31,955 --> 00:00:36,075 Speaker 1: pages of America's newspapers and at the top of America's newscasts. 6 00:00:36,915 --> 00:00:40,355 Speaker 1: I'll wait not even forty eight hours since the most 7 00:00:40,435 --> 00:00:44,675 Speaker 1: damning document ever composed about an American president, one that 8 00:00:44,755 --> 00:00:48,395 Speaker 1: makes the Watergate testimony look like the comedian script that 9 00:00:48,515 --> 00:00:53,035 Speaker 1: the White House Correspondence dinner. And it's all already virtually 10 00:00:53,275 --> 00:00:57,235 Speaker 1: disappeared from our American media, because whether it's leaders know 11 00:00:57,315 --> 00:01:00,515 Speaker 1: it or not, our American media is not just in 12 00:01:00,555 --> 00:01:04,275 Speaker 1: the tank for Trump, but its leaders have already drowned there. 13 00:01:04,715 --> 00:01:09,795 Speaker 1: And there are only a few journalists left alive but 14 00:01:09,995 --> 00:01:13,795 Speaker 1: her emails. And it is not as if they had 15 00:01:13,835 --> 00:01:17,955 Speaker 1: covered themselves in glory in real time covering the first 16 00:01:18,035 --> 00:01:23,115 Speaker 1: day story Thursday's front pages New York Times deflavorized headline. 17 00:01:23,515 --> 00:01:28,635 Speaker 1: Judge unseals new evidence in jan six case. Six paragraphs, 18 00:01:28,715 --> 00:01:31,995 Speaker 1: no photo, five photos on the front page, one of 19 00:01:32,035 --> 00:01:37,075 Speaker 1: an Irish singer, article next to it, nine paragraphs about JD. 20 00:01:37,355 --> 00:01:41,395 Speaker 1: Vance Washington Post story in the upper left corner. The 21 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:45,235 Speaker 1: prioritized corner is the upper right corner. Headline is so 22 00:01:45,435 --> 00:01:49,275 Speaker 1: wat Trump allegedly said of riot, because yeah, that's what 23 00:01:49,355 --> 00:01:52,795 Speaker 1: it was. When Trump tried to prompt a violent revolution 24 00:01:52,915 --> 00:01:56,355 Speaker 1: against the elected government of the United States three times 25 00:01:56,355 --> 00:02:00,795 Speaker 1: in one day. A riot. Wall Street Journal. A fifth 26 00:02:00,795 --> 00:02:03,595 Speaker 1: of the page is a photo of a kid wearing 27 00:02:03,635 --> 00:02:06,715 Speaker 1: a skull cap and glasses so he can look like 28 00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:12,235 Speaker 1: Mahatma Gandhi during birthday celebrations in Bangalore. And Jack Smith's 29 00:02:12,235 --> 00:02:16,555 Speaker 1: filing is item number thirteen in the mice type listing 30 00:02:16,595 --> 00:02:19,515 Speaker 1: of other headlines on the left edge of the Wall 31 00:02:19,555 --> 00:02:25,355 Speaker 1: Street Journal, and it's one sentence long, USA Today Nothing 32 00:02:26,115 --> 00:02:29,195 Speaker 1: not a damn thing. Full column a quarter of the 33 00:02:29,195 --> 00:02:33,755 Speaker 1: front page. JD. Vance redefines himself in debate, and a 34 00:02:33,755 --> 00:02:40,195 Speaker 1: big picture of JD. Vance laughing, although secret props to 35 00:02:40,315 --> 00:02:44,755 Speaker 1: whoever at USA Today layout juxtaposed next to his full 36 00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:50,035 Speaker 1: cheese idiot smile. A different headline quote con artists on 37 00:02:50,275 --> 00:02:56,715 Speaker 1: move to target the desperate agency's warn The default position 38 00:02:56,795 --> 00:03:00,635 Speaker 1: in American journalism eight years ago this month was to 39 00:03:00,675 --> 00:03:04,075 Speaker 1: look for something anything to throw at in the way 40 00:03:04,195 --> 00:03:09,075 Speaker 1: of or right through Hillary Clinton to prove they weren't liberals. 41 00:03:09,595 --> 00:03:12,315 Speaker 1: The default position in American journalism this month is to 42 00:03:12,315 --> 00:03:16,395 Speaker 1: look for some rationale, some excuse to downplay the threat 43 00:03:16,395 --> 00:03:20,115 Speaker 1: to democracy and dismiss the latest news of Trump's atrocities 44 00:03:20,155 --> 00:03:24,515 Speaker 1: against it as a reminder. We are dealing with USA Today, 45 00:03:24,955 --> 00:03:27,475 Speaker 1: which reached its peak when they used to slip it 46 00:03:27,595 --> 00:03:30,715 Speaker 1: under your door for free in every hotel in America. 47 00:03:31,195 --> 00:03:33,315 Speaker 1: And we are dealing with the Wall Street Journal, owned 48 00:03:33,315 --> 00:03:36,115 Speaker 1: by Murdoch. And we are dealing with The New York Times, 49 00:03:36,235 --> 00:03:39,795 Speaker 1: the constant bias of which has been perfectly described by 50 00:03:39,835 --> 00:03:43,515 Speaker 1: a progressive name Dante Atkins as quote that Trump is 51 00:03:43,555 --> 00:03:46,075 Speaker 1: the main character of every story, and everything else that 52 00:03:46,115 --> 00:03:49,755 Speaker 1: happens is in relation to him, and that's what's exhausting 53 00:03:49,795 --> 00:03:53,795 Speaker 1: about it. And we are dealing with the Washington Freaking Post, 54 00:03:54,075 --> 00:03:58,995 Speaker 1: which is run by whichever journalistic derelict was most recently 55 00:03:59,075 --> 00:04:02,595 Speaker 1: thrown out of England's Fleet Street and hired by Jeff 56 00:04:02,635 --> 00:04:08,195 Speaker 1: Bezos and or his fiance X sports reporting flirt and 57 00:04:08,315 --> 00:04:12,875 Speaker 1: local LA news anchor Lauren Sanchez, whose professional apogee was 58 00:04:12,915 --> 00:04:15,715 Speaker 1: her two thousand and two Sweeps news series on Channel 59 00:04:15,795 --> 00:04:20,355 Speaker 1: thirteen there about dating athletes, which was actually titled how 60 00:04:20,515 --> 00:04:26,875 Speaker 1: to Meet a Baller. No, yeah, I forgot one, Politico. 61 00:04:27,555 --> 00:04:33,275 Speaker 1: Politico called this Jack Smith's October surprise. Smith got Trump 62 00:04:33,315 --> 00:04:37,955 Speaker 1: indicted on these charges fourteen months ago. This Tuesday, he 63 00:04:37,995 --> 00:04:42,275 Speaker 1: has metaphorically had himself lashed to the mast, while all 64 00:04:42,315 --> 00:04:46,035 Speaker 1: of the nations supposed defenders of democracy, from the Supreme 65 00:04:46,075 --> 00:04:50,275 Speaker 1: Court to Lauren Effing Sanchez, have attempted to sink his 66 00:04:50,435 --> 00:04:54,195 Speaker 1: ship and this nation with it. But Smith's filing, which 67 00:04:54,235 --> 00:04:57,235 Speaker 1: we have known was coming for three months, is dismissed 68 00:04:57,275 --> 00:05:02,795 Speaker 1: by Politico's Hans On Franz ownership as a surprise. And 69 00:05:02,835 --> 00:05:05,435 Speaker 1: I'll be damned, maybe it was a surprise there. Maybe 70 00:05:05,475 --> 00:05:08,395 Speaker 1: Politico's been too busy wondering which of its editors might 71 00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:11,635 Speaker 1: next be rated by the FBI at the behest of 72 00:05:11,675 --> 00:05:18,675 Speaker 1: his ex fiance. It is absolutely terrifying to admit this. 73 00:05:19,675 --> 00:05:21,715 Speaker 1: But if it had not been true for years, as 74 00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:24,755 Speaker 1: I think it has, it became certain this week that 75 00:05:24,875 --> 00:05:29,995 Speaker 1: has imperiled and creaking, as is our democracy. Our democracy 76 00:05:30,035 --> 00:05:32,635 Speaker 1: is still in ten times better shape than is our 77 00:05:32,795 --> 00:05:37,275 Speaker 1: free press. Oh and by the way, Trump has actually 78 00:05:37,315 --> 00:05:40,915 Speaker 1: fulfilled yet another cliche the old saw about the man 79 00:05:40,995 --> 00:05:44,515 Speaker 1: murdering his parents and then angrily demanding special treatment from 80 00:05:44,515 --> 00:05:47,675 Speaker 1: the court because he's an orphan. Where the hell is 81 00:05:47,675 --> 00:05:50,275 Speaker 1: that in the nation's press. By last night, he had 82 00:05:50,315 --> 00:05:53,475 Speaker 1: sent out more than a dozen panicked posts about Jack 83 00:05:53,515 --> 00:05:57,355 Speaker 1: Smith's filing. They had started with for sixty days prior 84 00:05:57,395 --> 00:05:59,995 Speaker 1: to an election, the Department of Injustice is supposed to 85 00:05:59,995 --> 00:06:02,755 Speaker 1: do absolutely nothing that would taint or interfere with a 86 00:06:02,835 --> 00:06:08,435 Speaker 1: case as an asia. Bullshit, they disobeyed their own rule 87 00:06:08,475 --> 00:06:12,475 Speaker 1: in favor of complete and total election interference. As an aside, 88 00:06:12,715 --> 00:06:17,355 Speaker 1: more bullshit, I did nothing wrong. Let me give you 89 00:06:17,395 --> 00:06:22,235 Speaker 1: one more aside here bullshit they did. The case is 90 00:06:22,235 --> 00:06:25,115 Speaker 1: a scam, just like all the others, including the Document's case, 91 00:06:25,115 --> 00:06:28,115 Speaker 1: which was dismissed as an aciety left out that he 92 00:06:28,155 --> 00:06:34,355 Speaker 1: appointed the weasel who dismissed it. His latest orgy of 93 00:06:34,475 --> 00:06:38,075 Speaker 1: posts started there Wednesday night, just shy of twenty four 94 00:06:38,075 --> 00:06:42,515 Speaker 1: hours later, it climaxed with the Supreme Court's historic Fisher 95 00:06:42,635 --> 00:06:47,795 Speaker 1: and Immunity decisions and the DOJ's ironclad sixty day no 96 00:06:48,115 --> 00:06:52,355 Speaker 1: election interference rule require that the dc J six, which 97 00:06:52,435 --> 00:06:57,035 Speaker 1: Hunt by immediately dismissed, just like the documents. Hosk was 98 00:06:57,155 --> 00:07:02,675 Speaker 1: dismissed in Florida. And apart from the obvious fact that 99 00:07:02,715 --> 00:07:06,155 Speaker 1: we are only within sixty days of an election, that 100 00:07:06,235 --> 00:07:11,355 Speaker 1: Trump is the metaphorical legal orphan only because Trump and 101 00:07:11,555 --> 00:07:15,475 Speaker 1: his whores on the Supreme Court and his concierge judge 102 00:07:15,475 --> 00:07:18,275 Speaker 1: in Florida, and every other corrupt fraud in this nation 103 00:07:18,635 --> 00:07:21,315 Speaker 1: allowed him to stall and delay us to this point. 104 00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:25,995 Speaker 1: Not only is there no DOJ ironclad sixty day no 105 00:07:26,155 --> 00:07:30,955 Speaker 1: election interference rule, but there isn't any DOJ sixty day 106 00:07:30,995 --> 00:07:34,315 Speaker 1: election interference rule, or ninety day or one hundred and 107 00:07:34,355 --> 00:07:38,795 Speaker 1: eighty day or three day. There is no rule. There 108 00:07:38,835 --> 00:07:42,955 Speaker 1: is just an unwritten tradition, and a tradition only when 109 00:07:42,995 --> 00:07:46,515 Speaker 1: it does not interfere with justice, and only when it 110 00:07:46,595 --> 00:07:49,515 Speaker 1: is not the result of court orders like this one is. 111 00:07:49,875 --> 00:07:54,515 Speaker 1: And the tradition applies only to bringing no new indictments 112 00:07:54,675 --> 00:08:00,635 Speaker 1: immediately before an election. Where is any of that? Where 113 00:08:00,675 --> 00:08:03,795 Speaker 1: is the analysis of any of that? Where are the 114 00:08:03,795 --> 00:08:09,235 Speaker 1: posts and the Times and the journal and Der Politico 115 00:08:09,635 --> 00:08:13,035 Speaker 1: on this travesty, this travesty of a mockery of a 116 00:08:13,075 --> 00:08:15,355 Speaker 1: sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockery's 117 00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:18,795 Speaker 1: of a sham. Oh, don't worry, The Times has got 118 00:08:18,835 --> 00:08:22,875 Speaker 1: it up right hand, corner eleven, defining Saturday Night Live 119 00:08:22,955 --> 00:08:26,595 Speaker 1: political sketches, with a picture of Maya Rudolph and Jim 120 00:08:26,635 --> 00:08:31,475 Speaker 1: Gaffigan pretending to be the people who actually are trying 121 00:08:31,555 --> 00:08:37,355 Speaker 1: to save the country. Unlike the New York Times, it 122 00:08:37,435 --> 00:09:03,755 Speaker 1: is enough to drive one to shout bullshit. And the 123 00:09:03,835 --> 00:09:06,995 Speaker 1: irony here is that there is enough in the Jack 124 00:09:07,035 --> 00:09:12,075 Speaker 1: smith boxed set of evidence to fill America's newspapers with 125 00:09:12,235 --> 00:09:18,235 Speaker 1: amazing stories through at least next Monday. There is evidence 126 00:09:18,275 --> 00:09:20,835 Speaker 1: in his filing to the court that still hasn't gotten 127 00:09:20,875 --> 00:09:24,715 Speaker 1: the publicity it deserves. There's stuff you missed, There's stuff 128 00:09:24,835 --> 00:09:28,915 Speaker 1: I missed. There's jaw dropping stuff last night that it 129 00:09:28,955 --> 00:09:31,635 Speaker 1: took me half an hour to confirm, and I found 130 00:09:31,675 --> 00:09:34,155 Speaker 1: one reference to it, very deep in a story on 131 00:09:34,195 --> 00:09:39,555 Speaker 1: the CBS site. Nothing big, just a third attempt on 132 00:09:39,675 --> 00:09:45,195 Speaker 1: January sixth, after the interrupted stall inside the count inside 133 00:09:45,195 --> 00:09:49,395 Speaker 1: the Capitol, after the insurrection, a third attempt that night 134 00:09:49,835 --> 00:09:53,515 Speaker 1: to keep Joe Biden's election from being certified long after 135 00:09:53,715 --> 00:09:58,355 Speaker 1: dark on January sixth, as phrased in that referenced CBS 136 00:09:58,515 --> 00:10:05,355 Speaker 1: piece notably I wish Notably Notably, investigators revealed Trump and allies, 137 00:10:05,435 --> 00:10:10,275 Speaker 1: including Rudy Giuliani, allegedly attempted to quote exploit the violence 138 00:10:10,315 --> 00:10:13,515 Speaker 1: and chaos at the Capitol in a bid to delay 139 00:10:13,595 --> 00:10:19,075 Speaker 1: the election certification further by calling senators and leaving voicemails 140 00:10:19,355 --> 00:10:23,915 Speaker 1: asking that they object to the states. What did you say? 141 00:10:24,875 --> 00:10:30,435 Speaker 1: This amounts to three coup attempts in one day, not one. 142 00:10:32,275 --> 00:10:35,115 Speaker 1: And the unmistakable implication here is that Jack Smith knows 143 00:10:35,115 --> 00:10:39,355 Speaker 1: that there were voicemails to Republican senators from Rudy Giuliani, 144 00:10:39,515 --> 00:10:42,835 Speaker 1: which we'd all heard rumors about. Because Jack Smith has 145 00:10:42,875 --> 00:10:46,595 Speaker 1: copies of those voicemails to senators by Rudy effing Giuliani, 146 00:10:47,835 --> 00:10:51,155 Speaker 1: seems like a good second day lead. Huh, Editors, I 147 00:10:51,155 --> 00:10:53,275 Speaker 1: mean I never got any further up the newspaper Ladder, 148 00:10:53,315 --> 00:10:55,715 Speaker 1: then editor in chief of my high school newspaper, where 149 00:10:55,755 --> 00:10:58,315 Speaker 1: I got to copy edit that, then baby Faced will 150 00:10:58,435 --> 00:11:01,675 Speaker 1: Bunch on one day with the Cornell Daily Sun before 151 00:11:01,715 --> 00:11:04,315 Speaker 1: I decided the half hour walk uphill was a little 152 00:11:04,395 --> 00:11:07,195 Speaker 1: much for me. But even I know that a claim 153 00:11:07,835 --> 00:11:10,875 Speaker 1: that when we think of January sixth ares two coup attempts. 154 00:11:10,995 --> 00:11:15,875 Speaker 1: We're just not giving Trump enough credit. We're short changing 155 00:11:15,915 --> 00:11:19,635 Speaker 1: the man by fifty percent, and there are audio recordings 156 00:11:19,675 --> 00:11:27,275 Speaker 1: to prove it. Even I know, that's a goddamn good story. Sorry, folks. 157 00:11:27,275 --> 00:11:29,155 Speaker 1: No room at the Wall Street Journal front page for 158 00:11:29,235 --> 00:11:31,435 Speaker 1: that story, though, because they've got what happens to your 159 00:11:31,435 --> 00:11:34,235 Speaker 1: body when your workouts are too intense in the upper 160 00:11:34,275 --> 00:11:36,875 Speaker 1: right hand corner, and right below that have another column 161 00:11:36,875 --> 00:11:40,795 Speaker 1: called two Americans Really Want a Politics of Joy by 162 00:11:40,835 --> 00:11:44,515 Speaker 1: this century's candidate for the most overrated person of all time, 163 00:11:45,035 --> 00:11:56,115 Speaker 1: Peggy Noonan Peggy noonan Jesus H. Christ. Then there's other 164 00:11:56,155 --> 00:11:58,875 Speaker 1: stuff you may have seen but I didn't on Wednesday, 165 00:11:58,915 --> 00:12:01,715 Speaker 1: about how Trump did a Joe McCarthy and kept changing 166 00:12:01,835 --> 00:12:05,515 Speaker 1: the numbers. One day it was thirty six votes by 167 00:12:05,515 --> 00:12:08,315 Speaker 1: non citizens in Arizona. Five days later they said it 168 00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:11,315 Speaker 1: was a few hundred thousand votes by non citizens. Then 169 00:12:11,355 --> 00:12:14,075 Speaker 1: they changed it again to forty or fifty thousand. Then 170 00:12:14,075 --> 00:12:16,555 Speaker 1: they went back to thirty six thousand, apparently because they 171 00:12:16,635 --> 00:12:19,555 Speaker 1: ran out of fresh numbers. And all of a sudden, 172 00:12:19,555 --> 00:12:22,315 Speaker 1: we have another movie scene sprung to life from the 173 00:12:22,355 --> 00:12:26,035 Speaker 1: Manchurian candidate. When the Senator McCarthy character played by James 174 00:12:26,075 --> 00:12:29,675 Speaker 1: Gregory complains to his wife played by Angela Lansbury that 175 00:12:29,755 --> 00:12:33,915 Speaker 1: he's confused and he's embarrassed because she keeps changing the 176 00:12:33,995 --> 00:12:36,915 Speaker 1: number of communists he's supposed to claim her in the 177 00:12:36,955 --> 00:12:39,355 Speaker 1: State Department, and she looks at him like the idiot 178 00:12:39,395 --> 00:12:43,075 Speaker 1: he is, and then tells him who are they writing 179 00:12:43,115 --> 00:12:45,715 Speaker 1: about all over this country? And what are they saying. 180 00:12:45,755 --> 00:12:49,715 Speaker 1: Are they saying, are there any Communists in the Defense Department? No, 181 00:12:49,795 --> 00:12:53,755 Speaker 1: of course not. They're saying how many communists are there 182 00:12:53,795 --> 00:12:59,715 Speaker 1: in the Defense Department? But no, you are getting none 183 00:12:59,755 --> 00:13:06,275 Speaker 1: of that. None. You are getting places like CNN giving 184 00:13:06,595 --> 00:13:13,035 Speaker 1: automatons like Florida Congressman Brian Mast a chance to rebut 185 00:13:13,075 --> 00:13:17,075 Speaker 1: Trump's utter disinterest in whether his own vice president lived 186 00:13:17,235 --> 00:13:21,715 Speaker 1: or died on January sixth by saying, quote, I don't 187 00:13:21,755 --> 00:13:24,875 Speaker 1: think saying so what should be characterized as anything more 188 00:13:24,915 --> 00:13:29,715 Speaker 1: than hyperbole? Right there, he had Secret Service protection. Okay, 189 00:13:30,195 --> 00:13:33,755 Speaker 1: he's being brought to a secret location. Okay, his life 190 00:13:34,155 --> 00:13:39,155 Speaker 1: wasn't really in peril, Congressman Brian Mast, and we swing 191 00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:45,075 Speaker 1: from the Manchurian candidate to sideshow efing Bob attempted murder. Now, honestly, 192 00:13:45,195 --> 00:13:49,115 Speaker 1: did they ever give anyone a Nobel prize for attempted chemistry? 193 00:13:58,115 --> 00:14:04,595 Speaker 1: Jesus H Peggy Noonan Christ some headlines the dock workers strike, 194 00:14:05,115 --> 00:14:09,835 Speaker 1: the curiously timed doc workers strike, given corporate profits and 195 00:14:09,915 --> 00:14:16,395 Speaker 1: strong union earnings, has been postponed until January fifteenth. The 196 00:14:16,435 --> 00:14:19,995 Speaker 1: head of the union is a Trumpist. All the Republicans 197 00:14:19,995 --> 00:14:22,435 Speaker 1: are now mad that there isn't going to be a 198 00:14:22,475 --> 00:14:29,995 Speaker 1: strike affecting the supply chain. Coincidence, no doubt. New York 199 00:14:30,035 --> 00:14:33,315 Speaker 1: suburban Republican Congressman Mike Lawler is up the creek photos 200 00:14:33,355 --> 00:14:38,875 Speaker 1: eighteen years ago. He is portraying Michael Jackson and he's 201 00:14:38,875 --> 00:14:43,155 Speaker 1: in blackface. Oh no, no, no, no, no, you don't understand, 202 00:14:43,235 --> 00:14:46,315 Speaker 1: he says, he's just a big Michael Jackson fan quote. 203 00:14:46,595 --> 00:14:50,755 Speaker 1: Truly the sincerest form of flattery. The ugly practice of 204 00:14:50,795 --> 00:14:54,155 Speaker 1: blackface was the furthest thing from my mind. Let me 205 00:14:54,275 --> 00:14:59,475 Speaker 1: be clear, this is not that cool answer, dude. Actually, 206 00:14:59,995 --> 00:15:04,595 Speaker 1: this is that this is literally blackface, dressing up in 207 00:15:04,715 --> 00:15:09,275 Speaker 1: acup to pretend you're an African American singer. That's literally 208 00:15:09,835 --> 00:15:17,075 Speaker 1: the original definition and purpose of blackface. Something is falling 209 00:15:17,115 --> 00:15:22,435 Speaker 1: about at Trump's truth, Social pro Publica says CEO Devin 210 00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:27,075 Speaker 1: Nunez has forced out the chief operating officer and the 211 00:15:27,155 --> 00:15:31,995 Speaker 1: chief product officer, among others, after a whistleblower complaint against 212 00:15:32,115 --> 00:15:40,755 Speaker 1: Nunez for misuse of funds and other improprieties. Newness improprieties. No, 213 00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:45,915 Speaker 1: Trump confirmed what we already knew. Advance already said that 214 00:15:45,955 --> 00:15:49,875 Speaker 1: they will not just be deporting undocumented immigrants. They will 215 00:15:49,875 --> 00:15:53,035 Speaker 1: be deporting ones who are here legally by changing their 216 00:15:53,115 --> 00:15:56,555 Speaker 1: legal status ex post facto, and so the entire issue 217 00:15:56,595 --> 00:16:00,515 Speaker 1: of deportation and legal status, as has I have suggested 218 00:16:00,515 --> 00:16:03,435 Speaker 1: here I don't know one hundred times now changes from 219 00:16:03,595 --> 00:16:07,955 Speaker 1: enforcement of x rules to creating new ones after the 220 00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:11,635 Speaker 1: fact and applying them to whoever Trump does not like, 221 00:16:11,635 --> 00:16:14,995 Speaker 1: like people whose parents were not both born here, like 222 00:16:15,315 --> 00:16:20,955 Speaker 1: I don't know you. And at Saginaw, Michigan, Trump's glitching 223 00:16:20,955 --> 00:16:23,635 Speaker 1: took on a new dimension. He has now uttered a 224 00:16:23,675 --> 00:16:30,995 Speaker 1: previously unheard sound, I wear it, it's true. The only 225 00:16:31,075 --> 00:16:34,995 Speaker 1: guess Waaly. Maybe he was trying to shout out the 226 00:16:35,035 --> 00:16:39,395 Speaker 1: actress Joe Anne Whaley. I wear it it's true. And 227 00:16:39,475 --> 00:16:44,635 Speaker 1: then there is the story of the day. CNN reports 228 00:16:44,715 --> 00:16:47,275 Speaker 1: nearly two months ago, it approached the publisher of Milania 229 00:16:47,315 --> 00:16:50,355 Speaker 1: Trump's book, which I believe is titled I Didn't write this, 230 00:16:50,875 --> 00:16:55,275 Speaker 1: and asked for an interview. The publisher replied by sending 231 00:16:55,355 --> 00:17:00,195 Speaker 1: over an NDA, a non disclosure agreement, and the demand 232 00:17:00,955 --> 00:17:04,435 Speaker 1: inside it that CNN agreed to a quote licensing fee 233 00:17:04,995 --> 00:17:09,315 Speaker 1: for the interview with my Lan Nayak just two hundred 234 00:17:09,315 --> 00:17:13,955 Speaker 1: and fifty thousand dollars. CNN says it circled back with 235 00:17:14,035 --> 00:17:17,195 Speaker 1: a message amounting to are you essing us? And the 236 00:17:17,235 --> 00:17:20,515 Speaker 1: publisher said, oh no, sorry, it was a mistake. It 237 00:17:20,595 --> 00:17:26,635 Speaker 1: was internal miscommunication. There is no clarity, however, from any 238 00:17:26,675 --> 00:17:29,675 Speaker 1: party to this story, whether the idea of the X 239 00:17:29,795 --> 00:17:34,875 Speaker 1: first well, the Trump spokesmodel charging for an interview to 240 00:17:34,875 --> 00:17:38,755 Speaker 1: publicize her own book, whether that was the mistake, or 241 00:17:38,795 --> 00:17:40,635 Speaker 1: if they thought they were asking for too much or 242 00:17:40,635 --> 00:17:43,355 Speaker 1: too little. But I prefer to think of it in 243 00:17:43,395 --> 00:17:48,595 Speaker 1: these terms. Two hundred and fifty thousand dollars for a 244 00:17:48,675 --> 00:17:53,715 Speaker 1: millenia interview with CNN. Think of how much less this is? 245 00:17:54,715 --> 00:18:02,315 Speaker 1: Then she charges Trump also of interest on this all 246 00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:06,835 Speaker 1: new edition. Congressman Tim Burchett dozen anti semitism, and with 247 00:18:06,995 --> 00:18:09,955 Speaker 1: exactly the same astonishment and urge to share it, with 248 00:18:09,995 --> 00:18:14,315 Speaker 1: which a newborn discovers he has fingers and toes. Chris 249 00:18:14,315 --> 00:18:19,995 Speaker 1: Solissa has figured out what will decide the upcoming election, 250 00:18:20,355 --> 00:18:24,555 Speaker 1: and it turns out it's Are you ready? Only Chris 251 00:18:24,555 --> 00:18:27,035 Speaker 1: Salm knows this. You're just about to find out for 252 00:18:27,075 --> 00:18:32,635 Speaker 1: the first time. What will decide the election is who 253 00:18:32,715 --> 00:18:39,315 Speaker 1: gets more votes in the battleground states. That's next. This 254 00:18:39,355 --> 00:18:40,155 Speaker 1: is Countdown. 255 00:18:42,795 --> 00:18:45,675 Speaker 2: This is Countdown with Keith Olberman. 256 00:19:05,675 --> 00:19:07,995 Speaker 1: Still ahead of us on this all new edition of Countdown. 257 00:19:08,075 --> 00:19:09,715 Speaker 1: I don't know the last time I read you this 258 00:19:09,875 --> 00:19:14,995 Speaker 1: Thurber story might have been on TV. Most Thurber stories 259 00:19:15,075 --> 00:19:17,475 Speaker 1: end up with a character who more or less is Thurber, 260 00:19:17,675 --> 00:19:23,115 Speaker 1: prevailing being the hero, being the put upon but sympathetic victim, 261 00:19:23,555 --> 00:19:26,675 Speaker 1: or at minimum being the modest but stridently told you 262 00:19:26,795 --> 00:19:30,755 Speaker 1: so observer. Not this one, not a Friend of the 263 00:19:30,835 --> 00:19:36,795 Speaker 1: Earth in it. He moves out of town after suffering 264 00:19:36,835 --> 00:19:40,275 Speaker 1: too much humiliation at the hands of the title character, 265 00:19:40,635 --> 00:19:45,795 Speaker 1: the Friend of the Earth, zeph Legan Friend of the Earth, 266 00:19:45,835 --> 00:19:48,195 Speaker 1: and fridays with Thurber. Next. First, there's still more new 267 00:19:48,275 --> 00:19:50,995 Speaker 1: idiots to talk about. The daily roundup of the miss Grants, 268 00:19:51,035 --> 00:19:56,155 Speaker 1: morons and dunning Krueger Zeph Legan affects specimens who constitute 269 00:19:56,155 --> 00:20:01,035 Speaker 1: two days worse persons in the world, Sir, the Bronze Worst, 270 00:20:01,635 --> 00:20:07,075 Speaker 1: Kurt Schleichter Townhall dot com. Some are born dumb, some 271 00:20:07,195 --> 00:20:10,315 Speaker 1: achieved dumbness, and some have dumbness thrust upon them. I 272 00:20:10,355 --> 00:20:14,475 Speaker 1: suspect for poor Kurt, it's all three. I mean, he 273 00:20:14,555 --> 00:20:17,955 Speaker 1: proudly says in his bio, I was recruited to write 274 00:20:17,955 --> 00:20:22,155 Speaker 1: by Andrew Breitbart. Hey was he sober by any chance 275 00:20:22,195 --> 00:20:25,795 Speaker 1: at that point? You know Kurt, You've seen him. He's 276 00:20:25,875 --> 00:20:29,035 Speaker 1: kind of jowlly. He's perpetually bitter. He thinks Trump is 277 00:20:29,075 --> 00:20:32,475 Speaker 1: being lied about. He thinks that JD. Vance massacred Tim 278 00:20:32,515 --> 00:20:34,835 Speaker 1: Walls in the debate. And if you're beginning to understand 279 00:20:34,835 --> 00:20:38,555 Speaker 1: my reference to his very dumbness, you ain't seen nothing yet. 280 00:20:39,435 --> 00:20:43,315 Speaker 1: A liberal commentator noted the media indifference to Vance, having 281 00:20:43,355 --> 00:20:45,675 Speaker 1: reaffirmed that the Trump campaign is only going to accept 282 00:20:45,715 --> 00:20:47,915 Speaker 1: the outcome of this election if he wins, which is 283 00:20:47,955 --> 00:20:50,435 Speaker 1: what it said in twenty sixteen and what it did 284 00:20:50,475 --> 00:20:55,515 Speaker 1: in twenty twenty. The commentator notes it's a constitutional crisis 285 00:20:55,915 --> 00:20:59,155 Speaker 1: and that every Republican should be asked do you commit 286 00:20:59,195 --> 00:21:02,595 Speaker 1: to the constitution and the outcome of this election, asked 287 00:21:02,635 --> 00:21:07,275 Speaker 1: to commit to, you knowocracy. Kurt's having none of that. 288 00:21:07,835 --> 00:21:12,795 Speaker 1: Kurt's a genius, asked Andrew Breitbart. Kurt retweeted the comment, 289 00:21:13,115 --> 00:21:17,315 Speaker 1: implying that for generations, the Democrats have also killed people 290 00:21:17,355 --> 00:21:20,115 Speaker 1: every time they've lost, and also tried to overthrow the 291 00:21:20,155 --> 00:21:23,555 Speaker 1: government every time they lost, and also sued one hundred 292 00:21:23,595 --> 00:21:26,795 Speaker 1: times every time they lost. But that's not the best part. 293 00:21:26,915 --> 00:21:30,915 Speaker 1: Kurt Schleeketer ads quote, when was the last time the 294 00:21:30,915 --> 00:21:37,515 Speaker 1: Democratic Party unequivocally accepted a Republican presidential election victory? There's 295 00:21:37,635 --> 00:21:47,915 Speaker 1: one set of rules accepted, ex cepted, accepted. When was 296 00:21:47,955 --> 00:21:52,795 Speaker 1: the last time the Democratic Party unequivocally accepted something? I 297 00:21:52,835 --> 00:21:56,915 Speaker 1: believe Kurt means accepted, although I can't be sure because 298 00:21:56,915 --> 00:21:59,595 Speaker 1: the punchline here is on top of his idiocye. Kurt 299 00:21:59,635 --> 00:22:03,195 Speaker 1: is also a lawyer, a conservative lawyer. You can hear 300 00:22:03,275 --> 00:22:12,195 Speaker 1: him in court, can't you. Schleichter objection. Judge overruled Schleichter exception, Judge, 301 00:22:12,235 --> 00:22:16,715 Speaker 1: you mean exception. The runner up worst Congressman Tim Burchett, 302 00:22:16,715 --> 00:22:19,835 Speaker 1: one of the crazier members of Tennessee's House delegation, and boy, 303 00:22:19,995 --> 00:22:23,475 Speaker 1: is that saying something. Tim wants sponsored a bill to 304 00:22:23,555 --> 00:22:28,635 Speaker 1: allow you you to eat road kill the moment you 305 00:22:28,715 --> 00:22:32,355 Speaker 1: hit it or found it. He said of school shootings 306 00:22:32,355 --> 00:22:34,835 Speaker 1: with dead kids still on the ground, it's terrible and 307 00:22:34,915 --> 00:22:37,715 Speaker 1: we're not going to fix it. He identified the wrong 308 00:22:37,755 --> 00:22:40,235 Speaker 1: shooter at the Super Bowl parade and got sued. He 309 00:22:40,275 --> 00:22:43,115 Speaker 1: thinks the government has recovered UFOs and their crews, and 310 00:22:43,155 --> 00:22:45,675 Speaker 1: some of the beings are being hidden right now somewhere, 311 00:22:45,755 --> 00:22:48,475 Speaker 1: and I think we should look first inside the Tennessee 312 00:22:48,515 --> 00:22:54,755 Speaker 1: House delegation. AnyWho, Tim's latest he did some anti Semitism 313 00:22:54,835 --> 00:22:58,835 Speaker 1: ming during Russiashana. Why didn't it bend over backward? For 314 00:22:58,995 --> 00:23:00,875 Speaker 1: George Sorows thirty seconds to you. 315 00:23:02,635 --> 00:23:05,115 Speaker 2: During the Second World War, we did not allow foreign 316 00:23:05,355 --> 00:23:08,795 Speaker 2: entities to own our radio systems. I think this is 317 00:23:09,035 --> 00:23:11,595 Speaker 2: just an extension of that. You have a man that 318 00:23:11,595 --> 00:23:14,555 Speaker 2: that has does not have America's interest at heart. He 319 00:23:14,635 --> 00:23:18,115 Speaker 2: wants to destroy this country, and that's that. He is 320 00:23:18,155 --> 00:23:20,475 Speaker 2: a money changer of the worst kind. 321 00:23:20,915 --> 00:23:23,715 Speaker 1: Apart from the whole money trope about the evil Jewish 322 00:23:23,755 --> 00:23:26,835 Speaker 1: un American money changer guy in the background, Tim is 323 00:23:26,875 --> 00:23:31,195 Speaker 1: also a staunch fan of Elon Musk. You know, Elon 324 00:23:31,315 --> 00:23:34,915 Speaker 1: Musk is an actual evil on American guy in the 325 00:23:34,955 --> 00:23:41,275 Speaker 1: background with all the money, go roadkill. But our winner 326 00:23:41,435 --> 00:23:46,475 Speaker 1: Chris Soliza. Now you'd think during the fortnight of Lizza 327 00:23:46,635 --> 00:23:51,355 Speaker 1: Newsy News that Chris Solisa would lay low. But no. 328 00:23:51,955 --> 00:23:54,355 Speaker 1: While we all wonder if it's really just coincidence that 329 00:23:54,395 --> 00:23:58,515 Speaker 1: the colloquial representation of being asleep, especially falling asleep, especially 330 00:23:58,515 --> 00:24:02,395 Speaker 1: the noise you make while you're asleep, always includes multiple z's, 331 00:24:03,155 --> 00:24:07,115 Speaker 1: Chris solicit has had a eureka moment about the upcoming election. 332 00:24:07,675 --> 00:24:11,315 Speaker 1: This he published late on October second, so mark your calendar. 333 00:24:11,595 --> 00:24:15,155 Speaker 1: He literally just figured this out and is sharing it 334 00:24:15,155 --> 00:24:19,755 Speaker 1: with you, the morons out there in the real world. 335 00:24:19,915 --> 00:24:23,355 Speaker 1: This is what chrystial is a wrote quote. The more 336 00:24:23,395 --> 00:24:25,875 Speaker 1: I look at the electoral map, the more I am 337 00:24:25,915 --> 00:24:31,475 Speaker 1: convinced that the election comes down to Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin. 338 00:24:32,675 --> 00:24:35,355 Speaker 1: If Harris wins all three, she as president, no matter 339 00:24:35,355 --> 00:24:39,515 Speaker 1: what happens in Arizona, Georgia, Nevada, or North Carolina. What 340 00:24:39,715 --> 00:24:42,915 Speaker 1: did you say? What did you say, Chris? The election 341 00:24:42,995 --> 00:24:44,915 Speaker 1: comes down to Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin. 342 00:24:45,075 --> 00:24:49,155 Speaker 3: Quick quick call kabla Harris phone Trump, get a hold 343 00:24:49,155 --> 00:24:53,635 Speaker 3: of George Sorows. Holy cow, Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin. 344 00:24:53,715 --> 00:24:54,795 Speaker 1: How did the rest of us know? 345 00:24:55,035 --> 00:24:58,915 Speaker 3: Lots see that this solicit He should be the publisher 346 00:24:58,915 --> 00:25:02,155 Speaker 3: of the Washington Post or the New York Times, or 347 00:25:02,275 --> 00:25:05,075 Speaker 3: damn it, both of them at the same time. Maybe 348 00:25:05,115 --> 00:25:11,195 Speaker 3: have all newspapers and news organizations everywhere Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin. 349 00:25:11,275 --> 00:25:16,515 Speaker 3: Holy crap. But wait, this was a thread. You mean 350 00:25:17,595 --> 00:25:23,275 Speaker 3: there's more of this unprecedented insight. That's impossible, Chris. 351 00:25:23,795 --> 00:25:27,675 Speaker 1: Quote two, If she loses any one of those blue 352 00:25:27,675 --> 00:25:30,915 Speaker 1: Wall states, her path gets much harder, Like if she 353 00:25:31,075 --> 00:25:34,595 Speaker 1: loses Wisconsin, she would then need Georgia, North Carolina or 354 00:25:34,635 --> 00:25:37,755 Speaker 1: Arizona to win. If she loses Pennsylvania, she would need 355 00:25:37,795 --> 00:25:40,675 Speaker 1: two of Georgia, North Carolina and Arizona, or one of 356 00:25:40,715 --> 00:25:45,955 Speaker 1: them plus Nevada. Wait wait, you know you know what 357 00:25:45,995 --> 00:25:48,475 Speaker 1: we should do, never mind the getting on this with 358 00:25:48,835 --> 00:25:51,115 Speaker 1: the campaigns. We should try to find out if there 359 00:25:51,115 --> 00:25:54,795 Speaker 1: are any indications of how the voters in these critical 360 00:25:54,835 --> 00:26:02,435 Speaker 1: places might actually vote. What would we call that polling? 361 00:26:02,675 --> 00:26:06,395 Speaker 1: We should do some polling, like ask a whole bunch 362 00:26:06,395 --> 00:26:09,275 Speaker 1: of them representative of the whole state based on demographic 363 00:26:09,315 --> 00:26:14,515 Speaker 1: and age groups and ethnic backgrounds and stuff. Anybody ever 364 00:26:14,595 --> 00:26:20,275 Speaker 1: heard of that Nevada. You say there's a place that exists, 365 00:26:20,475 --> 00:26:26,835 Speaker 1: you call it Nevada? Nevada On this goes. It ends 366 00:26:26,875 --> 00:26:30,035 Speaker 1: with a reminder that such insight is available from Chris 367 00:26:30,075 --> 00:26:33,675 Speaker 1: every day in his free newsletter, which surprisingly enough, is 368 00:26:33,715 --> 00:26:39,515 Speaker 1: not called Captain Obvious reporting. At one point, another Twitter account, 369 00:26:39,675 --> 00:26:43,275 Speaker 1: kat In Oates, whose bio insists that he mostly writes 370 00:26:43,275 --> 00:26:46,555 Speaker 1: about the English soccer team, Arsenal replies that this is 371 00:26:46,635 --> 00:26:50,475 Speaker 1: quote the entirety of Chris Silizza's born on third base 372 00:26:50,555 --> 00:26:54,435 Speaker 1: and thought he hit a triple career. This note got 373 00:26:54,475 --> 00:26:59,395 Speaker 1: one thousand likes, whereupon Silissa replied to it too bad. 374 00:26:59,515 --> 00:27:01,875 Speaker 1: Arsenal can't ever get to the top of the table. 375 00:27:02,875 --> 00:27:05,595 Speaker 1: And then there are a couple of emojis kat and 376 00:27:05,715 --> 00:27:11,035 Speaker 1: Oates is duly astonished. Quote did you literally just do 377 00:27:11,155 --> 00:27:14,475 Speaker 1: the same effing thing I just called you out on 378 00:27:15,115 --> 00:27:20,075 Speaker 1: in a different context and think it was some sick burn? Seriously, 379 00:27:20,195 --> 00:27:22,715 Speaker 1: have you ever had an original thought in your life? 380 00:27:23,115 --> 00:27:27,795 Speaker 1: Would you even know it if you did? Well, sir, 381 00:27:27,875 --> 00:27:29,675 Speaker 1: I can't top any of that, of course, but I 382 00:27:29,715 --> 00:27:33,915 Speaker 1: will share you some of the unpublished soon to come 383 00:27:34,075 --> 00:27:39,395 Speaker 1: solisa Eureka moments. If Trump loses, this will reduce his 384 00:27:39,595 --> 00:27:45,595 Speaker 1: chance of becoming president next January. My sources confirm Lendbergh 385 00:27:45,675 --> 00:27:51,195 Speaker 1: has just landed in Paris. This Watergate thingy, I think 386 00:27:51,235 --> 00:27:56,355 Speaker 1: it could imperil Nixon's incumbency. And of course my free 387 00:27:56,355 --> 00:28:02,875 Speaker 1: newsletter is free Chris. Somebody told me I'm not the 388 00:28:02,915 --> 00:28:07,395 Speaker 1: most respected political pundit in the country. Solisa two days 389 00:28:08,395 --> 00:28:25,635 Speaker 1: worst person and Some of Thurber's stories portray him as 390 00:28:25,635 --> 00:28:29,835 Speaker 1: the hero, Some portray him as the lovable loser. Some 391 00:28:29,995 --> 00:28:34,835 Speaker 1: portray him as the sort of eye of God just shrugging, 392 00:28:34,915 --> 00:28:38,835 Speaker 1: going hm. And every once in a while there's a 393 00:28:38,875 --> 00:28:42,315 Speaker 1: Thurber story in which Thurber comes across as the loser, 394 00:28:43,115 --> 00:28:46,995 Speaker 1: not quite the lovable loser. Such a story is from 395 00:28:46,995 --> 00:28:51,155 Speaker 1: his epic Theerber Country, a collection of pieces about males 396 00:28:51,195 --> 00:28:55,635 Speaker 1: and females, mostly of our own species. This one is 397 00:28:55,715 --> 00:29:02,115 Speaker 1: called a Friend of the Earth. When my mother was 398 00:29:02,155 --> 00:29:05,475 Speaker 1: in Ludlow, Connecticut on one of her visits years ago, 399 00:29:05,595 --> 00:29:11,435 Speaker 1: she took a fancy to zeph Legan. Practically everybody did, 400 00:29:11,435 --> 00:29:14,395 Speaker 1: except old Miss Eldon and me, and he gave her 401 00:29:14,435 --> 00:29:18,555 Speaker 1: a picture of himself. People were always taking pictures of 402 00:29:18,635 --> 00:29:21,635 Speaker 1: Zeph in one or another of his favorite and locally 403 00:29:21,675 --> 00:29:28,155 Speaker 1: famous poses, playing his harmonica, whittling, drowsing in a chair 404 00:29:28,195 --> 00:29:33,435 Speaker 1: against the wall of his shack, eating a hard boiled egg. 405 00:29:34,595 --> 00:29:37,555 Speaker 1: The most celebrated of the egg studies shows him on 406 00:29:37,675 --> 00:29:42,035 Speaker 1: his thirty sixth, the day he ate three dozen at 407 00:29:42,075 --> 00:29:46,795 Speaker 1: a sitting on a bet. Zef Legan was a character 408 00:29:46,835 --> 00:29:51,155 Speaker 1: in the classic Mold, a lazy, rustic philosopher whose comic 409 00:29:51,235 --> 00:29:54,635 Speaker 1: criticism of the futility of action and accomplishment made up 410 00:29:54,675 --> 00:29:58,795 Speaker 1: I was told for his inability to complete a task, 411 00:29:59,635 --> 00:30:04,675 Speaker 1: his failure to show up on time or sometimes even 412 00:30:04,835 --> 00:30:09,955 Speaker 1: at all, his genius at waggish confusion, and his light 413 00:30:10,115 --> 00:30:14,155 Speaker 1: regard for the convenience of others. Wait do you meet 414 00:30:14,275 --> 00:30:17,675 Speaker 1: Zeph Legan, an ecstatic neighbor said to me just after 415 00:30:17,715 --> 00:30:20,875 Speaker 1: I came to Ludlow. He'll drive you nuts, the old rascal. 416 00:30:20,955 --> 00:30:24,315 Speaker 1: But you love him. We all do, except Miss Eldon. 417 00:30:24,795 --> 00:30:27,995 Speaker 1: We always hire him for odd jobs. Used to be 418 00:30:28,035 --> 00:30:31,315 Speaker 1: a master carpenter, they say, But now he doesn't give 419 00:30:31,355 --> 00:30:36,675 Speaker 1: a good goddamn funniest guy you ever heard talk though 420 00:30:37,715 --> 00:30:40,395 Speaker 1: lost my wife ten years ago. He'll say to you, 421 00:30:40,475 --> 00:30:44,795 Speaker 1: play it straight, Say that's too bad. Yep, he'll tell 422 00:30:44,835 --> 00:30:48,355 Speaker 1: you lost. You're in a dry good store. I slipped 423 00:30:48,355 --> 00:30:55,195 Speaker 1: out the back door. Ha ha ha. For such bewildered 424 00:30:55,235 --> 00:30:58,315 Speaker 1: foreign eyes as may fall upon these lines, I would 425 00:30:58,355 --> 00:31:02,075 Speaker 1: perhaps explain that ours is a good natured commonwealth of 426 00:31:02,715 --> 00:31:07,395 Speaker 1: straight men, and Stoogie is willing and eager to let 427 00:31:07,435 --> 00:31:11,435 Speaker 1: a wall crumble, or a roof sag, or a pipe freeze. 428 00:31:12,035 --> 00:31:15,395 Speaker 1: If the vandal responsible for the trouble has a will 429 00:31:15,595 --> 00:31:19,595 Speaker 1: rogers grin, a soft drawl, and a dry way of 430 00:31:19,675 --> 00:31:25,875 Speaker 1: saying things, there must be something grave the matter with me. 431 00:31:26,875 --> 00:31:31,875 Speaker 1: From the moment I set eyes on from j ze Legan, 432 00:31:32,235 --> 00:31:36,675 Speaker 1: I wanted to poke him in the nose. For the 433 00:31:36,715 --> 00:31:39,515 Speaker 1: sake of a fair record, I must report that Zef 434 00:31:39,595 --> 00:31:44,355 Speaker 1: took an instant dislike to me too. Zef was a 435 00:31:44,555 --> 00:31:49,115 Speaker 1: sittin in front of his shack and a playing his 436 00:31:49,315 --> 00:31:52,715 Speaker 1: mouth organ. He called it old Maria. I heard later 437 00:31:53,235 --> 00:31:56,355 Speaker 1: when Paul Morton, the neighbor I quoted earlier, led me 438 00:31:56,475 --> 00:32:01,835 Speaker 1: up to him. One afternoon I was presented to Zef Legan. 439 00:32:02,555 --> 00:32:06,195 Speaker 1: It was regarded as any I had been told if 440 00:32:06,235 --> 00:32:12,595 Speaker 1: he stopped playing, opened his eyes and deigned to speak. Zef, 441 00:32:13,155 --> 00:32:17,315 Speaker 1: I want you to meet mister Thurber, said Paul. Zef 442 00:32:17,395 --> 00:32:20,395 Speaker 1: kemp right on playing. He's come to Ludlow to live 443 00:32:20,435 --> 00:32:25,035 Speaker 1: a new neighbor of ours. Paul went on. Zev finished 444 00:32:25,035 --> 00:32:28,635 Speaker 1: another bar of Nellie Gray and looked up at Paul, 445 00:32:28,915 --> 00:32:36,395 Speaker 1: not at me. He married men. He asked that nettled me. 446 00:32:37,235 --> 00:32:39,755 Speaker 1: He hadn't acknowledged the introduction by so much as a nod, 447 00:32:40,115 --> 00:32:43,835 Speaker 1: and I didn't like the practiced twinkle in his eye. 448 00:32:43,915 --> 00:32:46,595 Speaker 1: I could see what was coming, and I beat him 449 00:32:46,595 --> 00:32:49,915 Speaker 1: to the punch. It was small of me, I suppose, 450 00:32:49,955 --> 00:32:53,235 Speaker 1: but I offer the purely human excuse that we had 451 00:32:53,235 --> 00:32:57,635 Speaker 1: come to dislike each other in the first few seconds. 452 00:32:58,515 --> 00:33:03,075 Speaker 1: I lost my wife ten years ago, I heard myself saying, 453 00:33:03,115 --> 00:33:07,795 Speaker 1: in a strained, chick old tone. The twinkle in Zeph's 454 00:33:07,795 --> 00:33:12,195 Speaker 1: eyes died, and a hard look took its place. With 455 00:33:12,315 --> 00:33:15,915 Speaker 1: our rape yars crossed and clashing, we searched for each 456 00:33:15,915 --> 00:33:19,995 Speaker 1: other's gullet. He was shrewd, all right, and not slow 457 00:33:20,035 --> 00:33:22,275 Speaker 1: of mind. He knew that I must have been tipped 458 00:33:22,315 --> 00:33:26,395 Speaker 1: off to his opening gambit. He threw a quick, baleful 459 00:33:26,475 --> 00:33:29,595 Speaker 1: glance at Paul. We must have figured was the tattle 460 00:33:29,675 --> 00:33:33,875 Speaker 1: tale last year in a dray good story, eh Zeph 461 00:33:33,995 --> 00:33:39,355 Speaker 1: asked me, and the devil took hold of my tongue. 462 00:33:39,595 --> 00:33:44,315 Speaker 1: She died, I said coldly, and it almost brought Zeph 463 00:33:44,475 --> 00:33:47,715 Speaker 1: up out of his tilted chair. Then he saw the 464 00:33:47,755 --> 00:33:50,155 Speaker 1: astonished look that Paul gave me, and he knew I 465 00:33:50,195 --> 00:33:52,435 Speaker 1: was trying to knock his foil from his hand by 466 00:33:52,435 --> 00:33:59,195 Speaker 1: an inexcusable trick. Now that's too bad, Bob, he said nastily. 467 00:34:01,115 --> 00:34:04,275 Speaker 1: Come on, Jim, let's go, said Paul. I want to 468 00:34:04,275 --> 00:34:07,795 Speaker 1: show you my studio. But Zeph and I were glaring 469 00:34:07,875 --> 00:34:16,115 Speaker 1: at each other. Yes, she died, laughing, I said at 470 00:34:16,115 --> 00:34:20,795 Speaker 1: a backwoods voltaire. Come on, Jim, for God's sake, said Paul, 471 00:34:21,075 --> 00:34:25,155 Speaker 1: Taking me by the arm. Zeph closed his eyes, leaned back, 472 00:34:25,515 --> 00:34:29,075 Speaker 1: and began to play Nellie Gray again on his harmonica. 473 00:34:30,275 --> 00:34:37,795 Speaker 1: The bargain of our enmity was sealed. The only thing 474 00:34:38,115 --> 00:34:40,915 Speaker 1: this miss Eldon and I had in common, I found 475 00:34:40,955 --> 00:34:43,875 Speaker 1: out later, was our lonely immunity to the magic spell 476 00:34:43,955 --> 00:34:46,955 Speaker 1: of Zeph Legan. And since she was a hard and hollow, 477 00:34:47,035 --> 00:34:49,715 Speaker 1: old lady, there were dark moments when I felt I 478 00:34:49,795 --> 00:34:52,595 Speaker 1: must belong to the wrong school of thought. In the 479 00:34:52,595 --> 00:34:58,035 Speaker 1: case of the Ludlow minstrel, Miss Eldon had not spoken 480 00:34:58,075 --> 00:35:00,875 Speaker 1: to Zeph or allowed him on her premises since the 481 00:35:00,955 --> 00:35:05,555 Speaker 1: day of the Great Insult May six and thirty four. 482 00:35:06,635 --> 00:35:10,795 Speaker 1: She kept all dates important and otherwise neatly arranged in 483 00:35:10,795 --> 00:35:13,635 Speaker 1: the back of her mind, along with her fine collection 484 00:35:13,755 --> 00:35:18,235 Speaker 1: of old platitudes. On the day in question, she had 485 00:35:18,315 --> 00:35:20,715 Speaker 1: summoned Zeph to her house, or rather, she had summoned 486 00:35:20,755 --> 00:35:23,155 Speaker 1: him a week before, and he'd finally shown up on 487 00:35:23,235 --> 00:35:26,355 Speaker 1: the sixteenth. She told him that her problem was beetles 488 00:35:26,475 --> 00:35:31,355 Speaker 1: in the pantry. Zef had a considerable reputation as an exterminator. 489 00:35:31,515 --> 00:35:33,915 Speaker 1: He would never tell what it was that he used, 490 00:35:34,115 --> 00:35:36,835 Speaker 1: except to say that the secret formula had been given 491 00:35:36,915 --> 00:35:41,355 Speaker 1: to his great grandmother by a sick Indian she'd nursed 492 00:35:41,435 --> 00:35:46,635 Speaker 1: back to health. Eight beetles in your pantry, ma'am, said Zef. 493 00:35:46,955 --> 00:35:56,555 Speaker 1: These cockroaches. Miss Eldon's nose expressed disgust at the man's frank, vulgarity. Well, 494 00:35:56,595 --> 00:36:01,275 Speaker 1: whatever they are, she said, they're beg as mice. She 495 00:36:01,355 --> 00:36:03,995 Speaker 1: had asked for it. She had walked right into it. 496 00:36:04,195 --> 00:36:07,875 Speaker 1: Zeph's eyes twinkled and he put on his Sunday drawl. 497 00:36:09,555 --> 00:36:12,155 Speaker 1: The only way to get rid of cockroach as big 498 00:36:12,195 --> 00:36:18,275 Speaker 1: as mice, ma'am, he said, is to stop drinking. She 499 00:36:18,715 --> 00:36:21,435 Speaker 1: ordered him out of the house, and he shambled away, 500 00:36:21,435 --> 00:36:27,515 Speaker 1: playing Polywally Doodle on his harmonica. The man is gross, 501 00:36:27,915 --> 00:36:31,675 Speaker 1: she told me. I had some difficulty maintaining an expression 502 00:36:31,715 --> 00:36:35,075 Speaker 1: of grave disapproval of the gross man, but I managed it. 503 00:36:36,755 --> 00:36:39,755 Speaker 1: The grinning face of Zeph Leggan hung over my house 504 00:36:39,755 --> 00:36:42,715 Speaker 1: in Ludlow like a moon. He didn't come around during 505 00:36:42,755 --> 00:36:44,515 Speaker 1: the first couple of weeks, and I didn't send for him, 506 00:36:44,515 --> 00:36:47,395 Speaker 1: although a number of chores needed doing. But his face 507 00:36:47,475 --> 00:36:51,555 Speaker 1: was always rising in my consciousness, bland and bright and impudent, 508 00:36:52,195 --> 00:36:55,675 Speaker 1: and I kept hearing the mischievous music of old Maria 509 00:36:55,755 --> 00:36:59,075 Speaker 1: playing on the edges of my mind. The fellow had 510 00:36:59,115 --> 00:37:02,995 Speaker 1: called me bub, and I don't get over such things easily. 511 00:37:03,755 --> 00:37:07,315 Speaker 1: Somewhere I felt he was thinking up gags or planning 512 00:37:07,395 --> 00:37:11,435 Speaker 1: pranks to disconcert me. Paul Morton thought I was acting 513 00:37:11,475 --> 00:37:14,035 Speaker 1: like a child about the town comic, especially when he 514 00:37:14,035 --> 00:37:16,595 Speaker 1: found out that I couldn't use the studio behind the 515 00:37:16,675 --> 00:37:20,475 Speaker 1: house until several rotted boards in the floor were replaced. 516 00:37:20,555 --> 00:37:23,595 Speaker 1: Why don't you get Zeph over to fix it? Paul 517 00:37:23,675 --> 00:37:27,315 Speaker 1: wanted to know. It was a foolish question, and I 518 00:37:27,355 --> 00:37:31,235 Speaker 1: gave him a foolish answer. He insulted the memory of 519 00:37:31,355 --> 00:37:37,155 Speaker 1: my dead wife, I said. Paul was amazed you started that. 520 00:37:37,475 --> 00:37:40,275 Speaker 1: He said, you spoiled his little joke about the dry 521 00:37:40,315 --> 00:37:42,995 Speaker 1: goods store and got me in bad. He knew I'd 522 00:37:43,035 --> 00:37:47,115 Speaker 1: told you about it. I'm sorry, I said, But even 523 00:37:47,115 --> 00:37:50,315 Speaker 1: if it hadn't happened, Legan and I could never get along. 524 00:37:50,355 --> 00:37:52,875 Speaker 1: Each of us wishes the other were dead. It takes 525 00:37:52,915 --> 00:37:55,035 Speaker 1: all kinds of people to make up a world, Paul, 526 00:37:55,395 --> 00:37:58,315 Speaker 1: the seasick sailor, the surgeon who faints at the sight 527 00:37:58,355 --> 00:38:01,275 Speaker 1: of blood, and the man who hated Legan as I 528 00:38:01,275 --> 00:38:05,675 Speaker 1: am destined to be known after I'm gone if Zeph 529 00:38:05,795 --> 00:38:13,195 Speaker 1: were the last, nuts, said Paul and went away. It 530 00:38:13,315 --> 00:38:16,115 Speaker 1: was about ten days later that I heard the sounds 531 00:38:16,155 --> 00:38:20,595 Speaker 1: of someone moving around in the studio. I went out 532 00:38:20,635 --> 00:38:23,435 Speaker 1: to investigate. It was Zeph. He was standing with his 533 00:38:23,515 --> 00:38:26,595 Speaker 1: back to me, studying the rotted floorboards, and although he 534 00:38:26,715 --> 00:38:29,515 Speaker 1: must have heard me come in, he didn't turn around. 535 00:38:30,915 --> 00:38:33,915 Speaker 1: Fella goes into this grocery store, he said, over his 536 00:38:33,995 --> 00:38:36,715 Speaker 1: shoulder and says to the man, what you got in 537 00:38:36,755 --> 00:38:42,715 Speaker 1: the shape of bananas? Cucumbers? Says the man. He tapped 538 00:38:42,715 --> 00:38:45,075 Speaker 1: one of the boards with his shoe and turned around slowly. 539 00:38:45,915 --> 00:38:48,395 Speaker 1: What you got in the shape of tools? He asked. 540 00:38:49,475 --> 00:38:52,315 Speaker 1: I wasn't going to play any games with the old rascal. 541 00:38:53,235 --> 00:38:56,035 Speaker 1: I rented this house furnished, I told him, and I 542 00:38:56,075 --> 00:38:58,235 Speaker 1: haven't had time to find out where everything is. I 543 00:38:58,275 --> 00:39:00,955 Speaker 1: thought you had tools of your own. He gave me 544 00:39:00,995 --> 00:39:05,155 Speaker 1: the twinkle. Won't know about that until I get back home, said. 545 00:39:06,595 --> 00:39:09,035 Speaker 1: He took it for granted that the job of fixing 546 00:39:09,075 --> 00:39:12,155 Speaker 1: the floor, like all other tasks of the kind, was 547 00:39:12,235 --> 00:39:14,915 Speaker 1: his by inalienable right, and I decided to let it 548 00:39:14,955 --> 00:39:18,195 Speaker 1: go at that. There ought to be a toolbox somewhere 549 00:39:18,195 --> 00:39:22,115 Speaker 1: in the house, I said. He gave me the grin. 550 00:39:23,035 --> 00:39:25,675 Speaker 1: Don't come to us, he said, we'll have to go 551 00:39:25,755 --> 00:39:29,195 Speaker 1: to it. On the way out of the studio, Zeph 552 00:39:29,315 --> 00:39:32,075 Speaker 1: stopped at a table and picked up a flashlight that 553 00:39:32,195 --> 00:39:35,595 Speaker 1: lay on it. He clicked it several times and then said, 554 00:39:36,275 --> 00:39:40,075 Speaker 1: needs new batteries. I'll be going by Barton Store in 555 00:39:40,235 --> 00:39:44,355 Speaker 1: Danbury this afternoon. Want me to take it along. I 556 00:39:44,395 --> 00:39:46,995 Speaker 1: told him that would be fine, and thanked him, and 557 00:39:47,035 --> 00:39:49,675 Speaker 1: he put the flash light in his pocket. I can't 558 00:39:49,715 --> 00:39:53,195 Speaker 1: remember now where we found the saw, but the search 559 00:39:53,315 --> 00:39:56,835 Speaker 1: lasted a good twenty minutes. Zeph examined it carefully and 560 00:39:56,835 --> 00:40:00,955 Speaker 1: then put it down. Can't use it, he said, left 561 00:40:00,995 --> 00:40:07,315 Speaker 1: handed saw for a few minutes. I guess you'll have 562 00:40:07,355 --> 00:40:11,835 Speaker 1: to bring your own, then, I said. He frowned. Job 563 00:40:11,835 --> 00:40:14,075 Speaker 1: of work comes a little higher if and I furnished 564 00:40:14,075 --> 00:40:19,075 Speaker 1: my own tools, he announced. I turned without saying anything, 565 00:40:19,075 --> 00:40:21,235 Speaker 1: and led the way out of the house. When can 566 00:40:21,275 --> 00:40:23,875 Speaker 1: you get at the job? I asked him. He looked 567 00:40:23,915 --> 00:40:26,395 Speaker 1: at the sky and then held out one hand as 568 00:40:26,435 --> 00:40:31,235 Speaker 1: if testing the quality of the air. Bit dry for sun, 569 00:40:31,995 --> 00:40:34,435 Speaker 1: he said finally, but he couldn't trap me into any 570 00:40:34,435 --> 00:40:37,675 Speaker 1: comment on this. There are some sound planks in one 571 00:40:37,675 --> 00:40:41,275 Speaker 1: corner of the studio, I said, did you see them? 572 00:40:41,995 --> 00:40:48,915 Speaker 1: Zeph's grin crinkled the corners of his eyes. I saw them, 573 00:40:49,715 --> 00:40:53,675 Speaker 1: he said. We both turned away at the same moment 574 00:40:53,715 --> 00:40:55,955 Speaker 1: and went about our business, or, to be more exact, 575 00:40:56,395 --> 00:41:00,755 Speaker 1: I went about mine. It rained that night, and there 576 00:41:00,755 --> 00:41:03,555 Speaker 1: were showers off and on for several days. On the 577 00:41:03,595 --> 00:41:06,755 Speaker 1: fourth day after Zeph's visit, I ran into him at 578 00:41:06,755 --> 00:41:09,915 Speaker 1: the post office. Why haven't you been over to fix 579 00:41:09,955 --> 00:41:14,035 Speaker 1: the floor, I demanded. Zeph unwrapped a stick of gum 580 00:41:14,075 --> 00:41:16,595 Speaker 1: with great care, put it in his mouth, and chewed 581 00:41:16,595 --> 00:41:22,595 Speaker 1: for half a minute. Twat sun weather, he said. Paul 582 00:41:22,675 --> 00:41:24,995 Speaker 1: Morton would have laughed his head off, and I should 583 00:41:25,035 --> 00:41:31,435 Speaker 1: have let it ride. But I didn't twar. I snarled loudly, 584 00:41:31,595 --> 00:41:36,235 Speaker 1: and several of my neighbors turned and stared. I decided 585 00:41:36,275 --> 00:41:38,595 Speaker 1: I might just as well break with Legan for good 586 00:41:38,595 --> 00:41:41,275 Speaker 1: then and there. I don't think you can tell a 587 00:41:41,315 --> 00:41:45,715 Speaker 1: hawk from a handsaw, I said sharply. I told you 588 00:41:45,795 --> 00:41:47,995 Speaker 1: before that his mind was quick enough. He squinted at 589 00:41:47,995 --> 00:41:50,595 Speaker 1: me for only a few seconds. You lay him out 590 00:41:50,595 --> 00:41:53,875 Speaker 1: in the weather, he said. The one that rests is 591 00:41:53,915 --> 00:41:57,315 Speaker 1: the handsaw. Several people who had listened in on in 592 00:41:57,315 --> 00:42:01,675 Speaker 1: this exchange laughed loudly. Old Zeph was in form. One 593 00:42:01,675 --> 00:42:05,155 Speaker 1: of them slapped him on the back. I left the 594 00:42:05,155 --> 00:42:10,195 Speaker 1: post office and walked home, muttering to myself. Mail, said 595 00:42:10,195 --> 00:42:12,835 Speaker 1: my wife. When I walked into the living room, it 596 00:42:13,155 --> 00:42:15,915 Speaker 1: was mail of a kind. Three letters I had taken 597 00:42:15,955 --> 00:42:18,795 Speaker 1: to the post office and forgotten to put in the slot. 598 00:42:21,315 --> 00:42:24,755 Speaker 1: Zeph fixed the studio door. About two weeks later. I 599 00:42:24,795 --> 00:42:28,155 Speaker 1: heard him sawing and nailing, with long intervals of silence 600 00:42:28,155 --> 00:42:30,315 Speaker 1: in between, but I didn't go out to the studio 601 00:42:30,395 --> 00:42:33,155 Speaker 1: to see how he was getting along. I confessed there 602 00:42:33,195 --> 00:42:37,155 Speaker 1: was more to this man than my instantaneous annoyance. At 603 00:42:37,155 --> 00:42:44,995 Speaker 1: the sight of this man, I was afraid of his tongue. 604 00:42:45,155 --> 00:42:49,315 Speaker 1: He had thrown me over his shoulder easily, and in public. 605 00:42:50,195 --> 00:42:52,075 Speaker 1: He was in the studio most of the afternoon, and 606 00:42:52,075 --> 00:42:54,475 Speaker 1: if I had hoped that he would go away without 607 00:42:54,555 --> 00:42:56,995 Speaker 1: dropping in on me, I was doomed. As the saying 608 00:42:57,075 --> 00:43:01,795 Speaker 1: goes to disappointment. Zeff never knocked on anybody's door. He 609 00:43:01,955 --> 00:43:04,395 Speaker 1: just opened it and came in. He found me in 610 00:43:04,395 --> 00:43:10,675 Speaker 1: the lift. Job's done, he said, so soon I snapped. 611 00:43:11,315 --> 00:43:13,875 Speaker 1: He pulled the flashlight out of his pocket, walked over 612 00:43:13,915 --> 00:43:18,515 Speaker 1: to my chair and handed it to me. Thanks, I said, unamiably, 613 00:43:18,915 --> 00:43:21,995 Speaker 1: send me a bill for the carpentry. Got it right here, 614 00:43:22,475 --> 00:43:24,875 Speaker 1: said Zeph, and he handed me a slip of paper. 615 00:43:25,875 --> 00:43:29,115 Speaker 1: I glanced at it. It seemed reasonable enough. Then I 616 00:43:29,115 --> 00:43:34,715 Speaker 1: clicked the flashlight it didn't work. It doesn't work, I 617 00:43:34,795 --> 00:43:40,875 Speaker 1: told him. He twinkled and grinned needs new batteries. He said, 618 00:43:42,395 --> 00:43:44,435 Speaker 1: I should have known better. I should have said nothing, 619 00:43:44,475 --> 00:43:46,675 Speaker 1: But once again I walked into his little trap. You 620 00:43:46,715 --> 00:43:48,835 Speaker 1: said you would take it to Barton's and have it fixed, 621 00:43:49,115 --> 00:43:52,355 Speaker 1: I told him. His eyes crinkled. Nope, he said, told 622 00:43:52,395 --> 00:43:56,355 Speaker 1: you I was going by. Didn't say nothing about stopping in. 623 00:43:58,355 --> 00:44:01,675 Speaker 1: That was too much for me. I brought the flashlight 624 00:44:01,755 --> 00:44:03,795 Speaker 1: down with great force on the edge of the table 625 00:44:03,995 --> 00:44:07,355 Speaker 1: and smashed it to bits. Then I turned slowly to 626 00:44:07,435 --> 00:44:14,235 Speaker 1: Zeph Legan, my eyebrows up in feigned astonishment. Defective, I 627 00:44:14,315 --> 00:44:18,715 Speaker 1: said coldly. Zeph took his harmonica out of his pocket 628 00:44:18,755 --> 00:44:20,955 Speaker 1: and rubbed it with the palm of his hand. He 629 00:44:21,035 --> 00:44:24,435 Speaker 1: had lost the twinkle and the grin. It was a moment, rare, 630 00:44:24,675 --> 00:44:27,435 Speaker 1: perhaps unique in the life of the great philosopher. Zef 631 00:44:27,555 --> 00:44:32,195 Speaker 1: Legan couldn't think of anything to say. He walked out 632 00:44:32,235 --> 00:44:35,635 Speaker 1: of the room playing Nellie Gray. And that was the 633 00:44:35,715 --> 00:44:38,475 Speaker 1: last time we ever spoke to each other. I got 634 00:44:38,515 --> 00:44:41,475 Speaker 1: a man named Larkin from Danbury. Whenever I needed anything 635 00:44:41,515 --> 00:44:45,675 Speaker 1: around the house that needed fixing. I think it was 636 00:44:45,715 --> 00:44:49,155 Speaker 1: in September that the Ludlow Men's Forum decided to ask 637 00:44:49,355 --> 00:44:52,675 Speaker 1: zep Legan to be the principal speaker at their monthly meeting. 638 00:44:53,395 --> 00:44:56,675 Speaker 1: I saw the announcement in the Ludlow Journal. It said 639 00:44:56,715 --> 00:45:02,195 Speaker 1: that Ephraim Legen, Ludlow's most beloved citizen, had consented to 640 00:45:02,235 --> 00:45:04,555 Speaker 1: address his neighbors and to share with them his writ 641 00:45:04,835 --> 00:45:09,235 Speaker 1: and salty wisdom and his profound knowledge of life. The 642 00:45:09,275 --> 00:45:12,595 Speaker 1: title of his talk, the journal said, was a Friend 643 00:45:13,195 --> 00:45:17,515 Speaker 1: of the Earth. Forum meetings were held in the small 644 00:45:17,595 --> 00:45:20,635 Speaker 1: chapel across the street from the Congregational Church. There were 645 00:45:20,635 --> 00:45:22,915 Speaker 1: about forty of us present when, after the reading of 646 00:45:22,955 --> 00:45:24,835 Speaker 1: the minutes of the previous meeting and the reports of 647 00:45:24,915 --> 00:45:28,075 Speaker 1: various chairmen of committees, the smiling Paul Morton stood up 648 00:45:28,155 --> 00:45:31,955 Speaker 1: to introduce the speaker of the evening. It was an 649 00:45:31,995 --> 00:45:36,915 Speaker 1: introduction dripping with marmalade and ornamented with flowers, and everybody 650 00:45:37,075 --> 00:45:40,915 Speaker 1: loved it, and everybody laughed and applauded as zeph got 651 00:45:40,955 --> 00:45:45,115 Speaker 1: slowly to his feet. I had seen him only once 652 00:45:45,235 --> 00:45:48,715 Speaker 1: or twice in passing since the incident of the shattered flashlight. 653 00:45:49,235 --> 00:45:52,675 Speaker 1: I had felt ashamed about that show of temper I 654 00:45:52,715 --> 00:45:55,675 Speaker 1: hadn't even told my wife that I had broken the lamp. Deliberately, 655 00:45:57,235 --> 00:46:00,435 Speaker 1: Zeph let his eyes roam about the room, and they 656 00:46:00,475 --> 00:46:03,595 Speaker 1: fell upon me at last, in a chair near the wall, 657 00:46:03,755 --> 00:46:09,155 Speaker 1: in a row at the back. Neighbors began Seph, I 658 00:46:09,195 --> 00:46:12,315 Speaker 1: ain't always been like you, good folks. Is nice enough 659 00:46:12,355 --> 00:46:16,995 Speaker 1: to think a man of philosophy and easygoing nature. They 660 00:46:17,115 --> 00:46:19,195 Speaker 1: was a thing happened when I was a young fellow 661 00:46:19,195 --> 00:46:21,355 Speaker 1: that set me on the right path, you might say. 662 00:46:21,995 --> 00:46:24,755 Speaker 1: My father gave me a flashlight for Christmas one year, 663 00:46:24,795 --> 00:46:27,835 Speaker 1: and the batteries wore out, like they's bound to if 664 00:46:27,875 --> 00:46:29,835 Speaker 1: a man aims to see more in his life than 665 00:46:29,835 --> 00:46:32,715 Speaker 1: the Good Lord wants him to. So I gave the 666 00:46:32,755 --> 00:46:35,355 Speaker 1: flashlight to an uncle of mine because he said he'd 667 00:46:35,355 --> 00:46:37,635 Speaker 1: get it fixed for me. Well, he didn't exactly say 668 00:46:37,635 --> 00:46:39,915 Speaker 1: he'd get it fixed for me. I'm a going by 669 00:46:40,115 --> 00:46:43,835 Speaker 1: Burke's story. He says, where there has batteries, you want 670 00:46:43,875 --> 00:46:46,195 Speaker 1: me to take it along. So I says that would 671 00:46:46,235 --> 00:46:48,275 Speaker 1: be very kind to him. But he brung it back 672 00:46:48,315 --> 00:46:50,515 Speaker 1: that evening and it wouldn't work when I clicked. It 673 00:46:51,195 --> 00:46:55,155 Speaker 1: needs new batteries, says my uncle. And when I told 674 00:46:55,235 --> 00:46:58,155 Speaker 1: him he promised to have it fixed, he says, never 675 00:46:58,275 --> 00:47:01,035 Speaker 1: said nothing about having it fixed. Said I was going 676 00:47:01,075 --> 00:47:05,315 Speaker 1: by Burke's store. Didn't say it was stopping in well, sir, 677 00:47:05,915 --> 00:47:08,555 Speaker 1: Like many a man, young or old, and ain't growed up, 678 00:47:09,275 --> 00:47:12,795 Speaker 1: some of them never does. I lost my temper. I 679 00:47:12,915 --> 00:47:16,155 Speaker 1: seen red and eye smashed that there flashlight into a 680 00:47:16,275 --> 00:47:20,795 Speaker 1: thousand pieces. I realized in a second this wasn't no 681 00:47:20,915 --> 00:47:24,195 Speaker 1: way to act to a man a greater age and 682 00:47:24,515 --> 00:47:27,875 Speaker 1: more common sense than me. So I turned it off 683 00:47:27,875 --> 00:47:31,795 Speaker 1: with a joke. I turns to my uncle and I says, 684 00:47:32,035 --> 00:47:41,395 Speaker 1: solemnike defective, I says. Then I got up quietly and 685 00:47:41,475 --> 00:47:44,155 Speaker 1: quickly from my chair and started to slip out of 686 00:47:44,195 --> 00:47:47,275 Speaker 1: the chapel. A number of the men turned and stared 687 00:47:47,275 --> 00:47:52,835 Speaker 1: at me, and several frowned and said sh Bill Logan 688 00:47:53,475 --> 00:47:56,275 Speaker 1: plucked me by the sleeve as I passed his chair. 689 00:47:57,115 --> 00:48:01,635 Speaker 1: Are you walking out on zeph he whispered. I leaned 690 00:48:01,675 --> 00:48:12,475 Speaker 1: down close to his ear. Yes, I whispered. Forever. I 691 00:48:12,555 --> 00:48:16,155 Speaker 1: had intended to spend the winter in Ludlow, but business 692 00:48:16,155 --> 00:48:18,235 Speaker 1: took me back to the city, or at least I 693 00:48:18,395 --> 00:48:20,915 Speaker 1: told Paul Morton and the others that business took me 694 00:48:20,955 --> 00:48:23,555 Speaker 1: back to the city. My wife knew better. Of course, 695 00:48:23,715 --> 00:48:26,395 Speaker 1: she knew that Zeph Legan was behind my determination to 696 00:48:26,475 --> 00:48:30,115 Speaker 1: get out of Ludlow and stay out. Several months went 697 00:48:30,155 --> 00:48:32,435 Speaker 1: by before I got up a courage enough to tell 698 00:48:32,435 --> 00:48:35,875 Speaker 1: her about the flashlight and Zeph Legan's opening remarks on 699 00:48:35,875 --> 00:48:38,995 Speaker 1: the night of the Forum meeting. To my surprise and delight, 700 00:48:39,075 --> 00:48:40,955 Speaker 1: I discovered that I was able to laugh with her 701 00:48:40,995 --> 00:48:44,715 Speaker 1: about what she called my straight set defeat at the 702 00:48:44,795 --> 00:48:50,555 Speaker 1: hands of the philosopher of Ludlow. She has promised, however, 703 00:48:51,995 --> 00:48:56,755 Speaker 1: never to tell the Mortons about it. Were Bill and 704 00:48:56,915 --> 00:49:06,315 Speaker 1: Lucy Logan. I don't think I could stand that A 705 00:49:06,395 --> 00:49:24,915 Speaker 1: Friend of the Earth by James Derber needs new batteries. 706 00:49:26,555 --> 00:49:28,155 Speaker 1: I've done all the damage I can do here. Thank 707 00:49:28,155 --> 00:49:30,235 Speaker 1: you for listening. We're now back to five episodes a week, 708 00:49:30,275 --> 00:49:32,715 Speaker 1: posting nightly just after midnight Eastern. Once again there is 709 00:49:32,755 --> 00:49:36,315 Speaker 1: a Monday countdown. Please send this podcast to somebody who 710 00:49:36,355 --> 00:49:39,595 Speaker 1: doesn't know that they need to listen, but should find 711 00:49:39,595 --> 00:49:43,435 Speaker 1: out well here. Brian Ray and John Philip Cheneille, the 712 00:49:43,515 --> 00:49:46,315 Speaker 1: musical Director's A countdwn Arrange, produced and perform most of 713 00:49:46,355 --> 00:49:49,595 Speaker 1: our music. Mister Chanel handled the orchestration and the keyboards. 714 00:49:49,875 --> 00:49:53,475 Speaker 1: Mister Ray was on the guitars, bass and drums. It 715 00:49:53,595 --> 00:49:57,955 Speaker 1: was produced by Tko Brothers. Our satirical and fifty musical 716 00:49:57,955 --> 00:50:01,155 Speaker 1: comments are by the Best Baseball Stadium Morganist Devorantsy post 717 00:50:01,915 --> 00:50:05,235 Speaker 1: sports music is the Alderman theme from ESPN two, written 718 00:50:05,275 --> 00:50:08,635 Speaker 1: by Mitchwarren Davis courtesy of the ESPN Inc. Other music 719 00:50:08,715 --> 00:50:11,595 Speaker 1: arranged and performed by the group No Horns Allowed. My 720 00:50:11,595 --> 00:50:14,475 Speaker 1: announcer today was my friend Dennis Leary. The voice I 721 00:50:14,555 --> 00:50:17,075 Speaker 1: used in the Thurber story was kind of George Clooney 722 00:50:17,115 --> 00:50:19,675 Speaker 1: and Oh brother where art thou and kind of Dave 723 00:50:19,755 --> 00:50:24,955 Speaker 1: Foley and kids in the hall? Well, sir, everything else 724 00:50:25,435 --> 00:50:29,835 Speaker 1: was pretty much my fault. That's countdown for today, four 725 00:50:29,875 --> 00:50:32,995 Speaker 1: weeks and four days until the twenty twenty four presidential election, 726 00:50:33,355 --> 00:50:36,195 Speaker 1: the one thousand, three hundred and sixty eighth day since 727 00:50:36,275 --> 00:50:40,075 Speaker 1: convicted felon drooling Jay Trump's first attempted coup against the 728 00:50:40,075 --> 00:50:43,755 Speaker 1: democratically elected government of the United States. Use the election, 729 00:50:43,955 --> 00:50:48,115 Speaker 1: use the mental health system, use zep leggan, use presidential 730 00:50:48,155 --> 00:50:50,755 Speaker 1: immunity if we have to to keep him from doing 731 00:50:50,795 --> 00:50:56,955 Speaker 1: it again, Sir, whow is still can The next scheduled 732 00:50:56,995 --> 00:50:59,795 Speaker 1: countdown is Monday bulletins as the news requires. Until then, 733 00:50:59,795 --> 00:51:03,835 Speaker 1: I'm Keith Olberman. Good morning, good afternoon, good night, and 734 00:51:04,275 --> 00:51:22,875 Speaker 1: good luck. Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. 735 00:51:23,155 --> 00:51:28,315 Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, 736 00:51:28,595 --> 00:51:30,555 Speaker 1: or wherever you get your podcasts.