WEBVTT - Civic Cipher 052921 ft. Corina (Radio Personality) and Aria 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:03.080 Welcome to another episode of Civic Cipher Army. Host Rams 0:00:03.200 --> 0:00:04.279 is Jah. 0:00:04.760 --> 0:00:08.480 Okay, so some. 0:00:08.400 --> 0:00:12.200 People call me q Ward, and I think that's the 0:00:12.240 --> 0:00:15.360 easiest way to address me, or to say hello, or 0:00:15.360 --> 0:00:18.639 to introduce me in any public form. It's also the 0:00:18.720 --> 0:00:21.040 name that I use when I am playing music for 0:00:21.920 --> 0:00:23.680 rooms full of people that like to dance. 0:00:23.960 --> 0:00:24.800 Sir speak on it. 0:00:24.800 --> 0:00:27.560 My mother named me Quinton, and I just like to 0:00:27.600 --> 0:00:30.040 tell people that Q is just a lot easier to 0:00:30.120 --> 0:00:33.880 pronounce than Quinton. And I know that because for almost 0:00:33.880 --> 0:00:36.479 forty years, people have been calling me Quentin, which is 0:00:36.520 --> 0:00:39.640 not my name, but no one feels like saying Quentin. 0:00:40.360 --> 0:00:45.080 So here we go, q Ward. Yes, indeed, Hey, you 0:00:45.120 --> 0:00:47.239 know what. I like that que Yeah. I like that 0:00:47.320 --> 0:00:48.080 we take the moment. 0:00:49.320 --> 0:00:51.280 You know, you got to teach people how to love you, 0:00:51.960 --> 0:00:55.120 and you know I'm pretty good at that, but you're 0:00:55.160 --> 0:00:57.000 excellent it and you do it on the radio. 0:00:57.160 --> 0:00:57.600 Okay. 0:00:57.400 --> 0:01:00.640 So here's the thing though, my part, my brother and 0:01:00.640 --> 0:01:04.400 my co host. His actual name is Ramses, So Q 0:01:04.560 --> 0:01:06.280 is like a nickname or like a shortening. 0:01:06.360 --> 0:01:08.480 So I like to say my actual name too. Yeah, 0:01:08.480 --> 0:01:10.800 you know what I mean. I want to let people 0:01:10.800 --> 0:01:11.880 into my life. A little bit. 0:01:12.400 --> 0:01:14.360 Well, so how is Quinton spilled? 0:01:15.360 --> 0:01:17.920 I N t O N so quin Ton like a 0:01:17.959 --> 0:01:20.680 ton of bricks. But when Quinn is in front of 0:01:20.720 --> 0:01:23.520 it and no one likes to say ton, they say Quintin, 0:01:23.880 --> 0:01:27.640 Quintin Quinn c even I went over that last week, 0:01:27.640 --> 0:01:28.840 and I want to go into it. I got some 0:01:28.880 --> 0:01:31.399 PTSD from my old boss who used to I don't 0:01:31.440 --> 0:01:35.600 want to talk about it, but Q woard it's easy, 0:01:35.680 --> 0:01:37.840 and it's when I go by professionally. But you know, 0:01:37.880 --> 0:01:40.520 sometimes people wonder where the Q came from or what 0:01:40.600 --> 0:01:41.200 it stands for. 0:01:41.240 --> 0:01:44.920 Hey, listen, put some respect on my man's name, and 0:01:44.920 --> 0:01:47.600 and you know what, put some respect on black names 0:01:48.040 --> 0:01:52.320 while you're at it one time. And you know that's 0:01:52.320 --> 0:01:57.080 what we're here to talk about on Civic Cipher today's episode, 0:01:57.680 --> 0:02:02.720 especially so you might have heard a familiar voice, especially 0:02:02.760 --> 0:02:07.960 if you grew up anywhere in the Southwest. A dear 0:02:08.000 --> 0:02:14.320 friend of mine is joining us today to share a 0:02:14.360 --> 0:02:20.280 story and for us to empower each other and empower 0:02:20.720 --> 0:02:26.239 you the listener when it comes to dealing with life 0:02:27.120 --> 0:02:31.200 in a melanated body. You know, we all have our traumas, 0:02:31.200 --> 0:02:35.360 we all have our stories, and at this point in 0:02:35.400 --> 0:02:39.280 our lives. On the other side of a very divisive administration, 0:02:40.040 --> 0:02:47.720 on this other side of a of a very radical, 0:02:49.240 --> 0:02:54.680 fiery movement, on the other side of a pandemic, something 0:02:54.680 --> 0:02:58.000 that none of us have ever lived through. A lot 0:02:58.040 --> 0:03:02.560 of folks, who will call them non allies, are very 0:03:03.120 --> 0:03:06.680 They feel very displaced. They feel like they their sense 0:03:06.720 --> 0:03:11.200 of normalcy, their position of superiority, has been compromised. They 0:03:11.200 --> 0:03:16.240 have to wear masks, they have to, you know, accept 0:03:16.240 --> 0:03:18.560 a different president when they thought they finally got the 0:03:18.600 --> 0:03:20.680 White House, and you know, all these sorts of things, 0:03:21.440 --> 0:03:25.120 and these people are acting out in a number of ways. 0:03:25.320 --> 0:03:27.400 And we're not just talking about the police. 0:03:27.680 --> 0:03:31.720 We're talking about normal, everyday people that you see at 0:03:31.760 --> 0:03:35.120 the gas station, that you walk down the street and encounter. 0:03:35.560 --> 0:03:39.360 They feel very much displaced, and we're having to deal 0:03:39.800 --> 0:03:42.680 with their traumas. And so the voice that you heard 0:03:43.120 --> 0:03:45.480 again is a dear friend of mine who's come on 0:03:45.640 --> 0:03:49.480 Civic Cipher, a show that exists for these types of stories, 0:03:49.720 --> 0:03:53.520 to tell her story. Her name is Karina. She's a 0:03:53.600 --> 0:03:59.680 long time radio personality, a legend and incredibly special and 0:03:59.680 --> 0:04:02.920 import in person in my life, a mentor, among other things, 0:04:04.480 --> 0:04:06.960 and I'm sure that I'm not. That there's a long 0:04:07.000 --> 0:04:08.880 list of people that would say the same about you. 0:04:10.000 --> 0:04:14.440 Not only is it appropriate for you to be on 0:04:14.480 --> 0:04:18.200 the show, but it's an honor. And you brought along 0:04:18.760 --> 0:04:20.480 your daughter Aria. 0:04:20.360 --> 0:04:23.719 Happy to be here, and you know, I'm given the circumstances, 0:04:23.760 --> 0:04:25.400 but I'm so happy to be here. 0:04:25.480 --> 0:04:26.480 Yes, yes, So. 0:04:28.920 --> 0:04:30.640 You know, if this is your first time tuning in 0:04:30.640 --> 0:04:34.599 the civic cipher, this show was born out of the 0:04:34.720 --> 0:04:36.520 trauma of. 0:04:37.960 --> 0:04:39.640 Our lives, me and you Q. 0:04:40.279 --> 0:04:42.680 You know, once upon a time we had bits and 0:04:42.760 --> 0:04:46.440 pieces of our shows that we had done that kind 0:04:46.480 --> 0:04:49.120 of pointed in this direction. But you know, we were 0:04:49.160 --> 0:04:52.719 always keen on having long form conversations and discussions about 0:04:53.800 --> 0:05:00.480 and having an intellectual approach and compassionate approach to remitting 0:05:01.240 --> 0:05:04.159 issues that we had to deal with. Last year, obviously 0:05:04.200 --> 0:05:06.240 a lot of that stuff came to a head, and 0:05:06.839 --> 0:05:09.279 working in media, we needed to create a space to 0:05:09.320 --> 0:05:12.200 be able to share stories, to be able to empower 0:05:12.240 --> 0:05:14.839 our listeners, to be able to fight false narratives that 0:05:14.920 --> 0:05:18.599 existed on other media platforms, the news, especially saying that 0:05:18.680 --> 0:05:22.159 we were doing things that we weren't doing, setting stuff 0:05:22.200 --> 0:05:24.280 on fire that we weren't doing, you know, these sorts 0:05:24.279 --> 0:05:26.839 of things rioting when we were being peaceful with our 0:05:26.920 --> 0:05:28.680 children out there marching. 0:05:30.480 --> 0:05:35.360 And then creating this space. We are also able. 0:05:35.120 --> 0:05:41.039 To write our own stories, establish our own narratives, and 0:05:41.360 --> 0:05:43.960 that's exactly what we're doing today. It feels almost full 0:05:43.960 --> 0:05:46.360 circle now to have you up to tell me about 0:05:46.400 --> 0:05:48.880 an incident that I know a little bit about and 0:05:48.880 --> 0:05:51.320 that Q knows nothing about and. 0:05:52.720 --> 0:05:53.760 Q ain't gonna believe. 0:05:54.360 --> 0:05:58.919 Yeah, yeah, And so let's get right into it. 0:06:00.440 --> 0:06:03.960 Talk to me, tell me about a day in your life. 0:06:05.680 --> 0:06:10.880 Wow, let's start with And here's you know. My level 0:06:10.920 --> 0:06:16.159 of communication is super open and pretty hype, really absolutely 0:06:16.360 --> 0:06:24.040 and very interactive, so please feel free to interrupt, and 0:06:24.120 --> 0:06:27.520 I'm asking you to do the same. Is we have 0:06:27.640 --> 0:06:32.640 to tell this story because it's our story, and it's 0:06:32.680 --> 0:06:34.880 probably best if we don't go back and forth and 0:06:34.880 --> 0:06:36.760 back and forth and I say, well this happened, and 0:06:36.800 --> 0:06:38.640 we add this sin I just say, we're gonna flow 0:06:38.680 --> 0:06:41.320 through this and kind of tell you a pretty unbelievable 0:06:41.440 --> 0:06:44.760 tale if you will, and we'll start. 0:06:44.800 --> 0:06:45.240 Go ahead. 0:06:45.600 --> 0:06:49.000 Before you get into it, I want to really make 0:06:49.040 --> 0:06:51.599 sure that I established to our listenership. 0:06:52.600 --> 0:06:53.440 That you are. 0:06:56.000 --> 0:06:59.479 A more celebrated individual, at least in the city where 0:06:59.520 --> 0:07:03.159 you live than most people are. I know you to 0:07:03.240 --> 0:07:05.560 be celebrated in other cities as well, having lived there 0:07:05.560 --> 0:07:08.080 and established your brand there and so forth. You know, 0:07:08.440 --> 0:07:11.200 in entertainment and radio, you've been on a number of stages. 0:07:11.600 --> 0:07:14.880 You've worked with many hip hop artists, you've worked with. 0:07:15.440 --> 0:07:20.800 You know, you've worked in this industry for decades, well established, 0:07:20.800 --> 0:07:23.440 and you know who you are. You've encountered people. This 0:07:23.600 --> 0:07:27.240 is not an unusual sort of a platform for you 0:07:27.320 --> 0:07:31.560 to be on. You know how to maintain your composure. 0:07:32.160 --> 0:07:33.160 You are a very. 0:07:35.680 --> 0:07:40.720 You're very comfortable in the center of yourself and that 0:07:40.840 --> 0:07:42.640 I think that needs to be well established before we 0:07:42.680 --> 0:07:45.080 get into this story, because again, the story is a 0:07:45.120 --> 0:07:49.040 little bit wild, and it doesn't It doesn't cast you 0:07:49.600 --> 0:07:53.760 or you are in a bad light. Rather, it illuminates 0:07:54.480 --> 0:07:58.200 the state of the we'll call it the opposition to 0:07:59.000 --> 0:08:06.840 our progress in recent times, our meaning melanated people's historically disenfranchised. 0:08:06.120 --> 0:08:10.160 And no matter how dark or lightly mellenated you are, 0:08:10.560 --> 0:08:13.400 that's what this is about. It is about more than 0:08:13.560 --> 0:08:17.680 just being melanated. This is more than just being a 0:08:17.720 --> 0:08:20.240 person of color. This is being a person of color 0:08:20.240 --> 0:08:26.440 that sometimes is really not even understood, sometimes right, sometimes 0:08:26.480 --> 0:08:30.800 thoroughly denied, and through through the times we've gone through. Honestly, 0:08:30.960 --> 0:08:34.199 I think it's also really, really really important to stress 0:08:34.200 --> 0:08:38.640 at the beginning of this that through everything, and I 0:08:38.679 --> 0:08:41.319 can't thank you enough for everything you just said, I 0:08:41.720 --> 0:08:45.240 really you know, our relationship goes way back, and he's like, 0:08:46.080 --> 0:08:49.080 I've raised people in this business and in this community, 0:08:49.240 --> 0:08:51.800 and I feel like mother to all. 0:08:52.160 --> 0:08:53.120 That's my role. 0:08:53.200 --> 0:08:55.000 That's been my role for a lot of years. That's 0:08:55.040 --> 0:08:58.559 also really important to state. It's important to state that 0:08:58.640 --> 0:09:03.240 I have stood up for us, mellenated people for my 0:09:03.480 --> 0:09:08.440 entire radio career, my entire life, even even growing up 0:09:08.800 --> 0:09:13.400 in the seventies in the area of Chicago with a 0:09:13.400 --> 0:09:17.480 black mother and a white father, in an area where 0:09:17.480 --> 0:09:20.200 that was not cool, that was not celebrated, that was 0:09:20.280 --> 0:09:23.679 not a thing, that was almost unheard of. So this 0:09:23.840 --> 0:09:26.560 is just a quick look at who I am, where 0:09:26.600 --> 0:09:27.800 I'm from, what I'm about. 0:09:28.520 --> 0:09:32.360 I also have four children who have a. 0:09:32.320 --> 0:09:35.640 Black father, so they have half black, half white mother, 0:09:36.080 --> 0:09:38.720 which is way deeper than that, but still black identify 0:09:38.720 --> 0:09:42.400 as a black person. But this is this also I 0:09:42.440 --> 0:09:44.960 really want to state it's really important that we talk 0:09:45.040 --> 0:09:50.720 about at some point in this conversation how melanated you 0:09:50.800 --> 0:09:53.120 are and whether that matters, because a lot of things 0:09:53.240 --> 0:09:58.920 were said over the launching and the real like blowing 0:09:59.040 --> 0:10:01.640 up of Black Lives Matter. There was a lot of 0:10:01.679 --> 0:10:06.280 really terrible things said to us, and I mean socially online, 0:10:06.400 --> 0:10:09.040 things that you take as a direct hit because it's 0:10:09.040 --> 0:10:11.480 like you're saying, I'm not black enough. Do you have 0:10:11.559 --> 0:10:13.240 anything to say in all of this? And I know 0:10:13.320 --> 0:10:16.320 y'all saw that stuff, So we're gonna preface it with 0:10:16.400 --> 0:10:18.439 all that. And I really do want to tell you 0:10:18.520 --> 0:10:22.400 this story as a mother on Mother's Day. 0:10:22.960 --> 0:10:25.640 So let me set the narrative on that, because it 0:10:25.720 --> 0:10:29.640 is Mother's Day and I have a really good close 0:10:29.679 --> 0:10:34.640 relationship with my mom, and every day we start our 0:10:34.720 --> 0:10:43.440 day happy. We literally are so joyful and happy with 0:10:43.480 --> 0:10:45.880 each other. So we go to the store and we're 0:10:45.920 --> 0:10:49.280 just at Sprouts about to She's about to cook for 0:10:49.400 --> 0:10:54.280 everyone all over, yes, grandbabies, my siblings. 0:10:53.320 --> 0:10:54.000 Mother's Day. 0:10:54.160 --> 0:10:57.720 And we're going through the store dressed up, dressed up 0:10:57.720 --> 0:11:03.000 and dresses heal and store every day, so I know 0:11:03.080 --> 0:11:06.600 everybody in there. We're being just what we are, ourselves, 0:11:06.960 --> 0:11:11.280 singing Hi to everybody, singing the early two thousand songs 0:11:11.280 --> 0:11:15.440 playing in there. And then we're about to check out 0:11:16.160 --> 0:11:18.920 and I see some flowers. I'm like, I'm gonna get 0:11:19.000 --> 0:11:22.960 you some flowers, and she starts putting our groceries up 0:11:23.000 --> 0:11:26.880 on them, just on the conveyor belt. I go over, 0:11:26.920 --> 0:11:29.240 I make my decision. I come back with a plant, 0:11:30.320 --> 0:11:31.520 and I'm talking to her about it. 0:11:31.520 --> 0:11:33.680 Because in the midst of that, in the midst of that, 0:11:34.040 --> 0:11:39.280 a woman steps up behind us in line old lady, old, 0:11:40.080 --> 0:11:42.079 and she's looking at us, and I feel it, but 0:11:42.120 --> 0:11:44.040 I always feel I don't care. You can look at me. 0:11:44.200 --> 0:11:47.679 That's why we're shining. I understand that. That's not I 0:11:47.720 --> 0:11:49.840 can't help that. I'm not gonna dim me for you. 0:11:49.960 --> 0:11:50.640 You can look. 0:11:51.120 --> 0:11:55.240 I don't mind. So that goes right right past me. 0:11:55.400 --> 0:11:57.880 But I hear her say to this man. I feel 0:11:58.160 --> 0:12:00.439 an emptiness on my right. And the next this cash 0:12:00.480 --> 0:12:05.000 register was open. She's standing directly behind us, and this 0:12:05.120 --> 0:12:07.520 man from the other side says, ma'am. 0:12:07.360 --> 0:12:09.000 You can go right over there. She goes, oh, no, 0:12:09.080 --> 0:12:10.720 I'm not in any hurry. You go ahead. 0:12:10.760 --> 0:12:14.280 He says, no, I'm going over here to self check myself, 0:12:14.280 --> 0:12:16.320 and he takes his little basket and he goes over there. 0:12:16.400 --> 0:12:18.840 She proceeds to stand behind us. 0:12:18.880 --> 0:12:22.679 Really important, because this is absolutely unnecessary. 0:12:23.280 --> 0:12:24.480 We're minding our business. 0:12:24.480 --> 0:12:27.520 She's getting her mother some flowers on flowers on Mother's Day, 0:12:27.840 --> 0:12:30.840 and this woman chooses to stand directly behind us so 0:12:30.880 --> 0:12:34.080 she can continue to feel whatever emotion she's feeling while 0:12:34.120 --> 0:12:36.800 she's observing my daughter saying she wants to. 0:12:36.720 --> 0:12:38.959 Get me some flowers on Mother's Day. 0:12:39.040 --> 0:12:41.520 So she comes back with the plant after that, not 0:12:41.600 --> 0:12:45.280 knowing that happened either, not even I'm still putting the 0:12:45.280 --> 0:12:46.440 stuff on the belt. 0:12:46.559 --> 0:12:50.400 Okay, I come over and I'm like, should I get this? 0:12:50.480 --> 0:12:53.560 She's like, uh, our plants at home have diseases. Just 0:12:53.600 --> 0:12:56.520 get some flowers. And after she says that, the lady goes, 0:12:57.520 --> 0:12:58.319 excuse me. 0:12:58.720 --> 0:13:03.120 She's and I was like, yes, we're still smiling. So 0:13:03.240 --> 0:13:06.560 she runs back to get the flowers if they're directly 0:13:06.600 --> 0:13:09.360 behind us. The flowers are directly behind the register we're on. 0:13:09.520 --> 0:13:12.880 And I'm going to grab them. She's like, she's hur 0:13:13.120 --> 0:13:13.840 she's moving up. 0:13:14.280 --> 0:13:16.679 She's almost done with your stuff. I go, but not quite. 0:13:16.760 --> 0:13:18.839 So it's okay, and I smiled at her. I said, 0:13:18.840 --> 0:13:21.560 but she's not quite done. I wasn't even done empty 0:13:21.559 --> 0:13:24.680 in my cart. I had all this stuff I'm still 0:13:24.679 --> 0:13:28.400 putting up on the thing, and she's getting hip, dude, 0:13:28.440 --> 0:13:30.679 she's she's pointing at the belt and I go what 0:13:30.880 --> 0:13:32.160 I just really didn't even know what she. 0:13:32.120 --> 0:13:35.120 Was talking about. She's like, she's almost done with your stuff. 0:13:35.160 --> 0:13:39.440 I said, not quite? Can I tell her go ahead? 0:13:40.280 --> 0:13:42.320 I continue to get the stuff out of the cart 0:13:42.520 --> 0:13:44.600 and put it on the belt. She walks past the lady. 0:13:44.720 --> 0:13:48.840 As I do, she she swears I don't even want 0:13:48.840 --> 0:13:51.280 me to swear on here, but she's like, move your act. 0:13:52.280 --> 0:13:54.600 And that's what makes me perk my ears up because 0:13:54.600 --> 0:13:56.080 I wasn't paying attention to her, and I. 0:13:56.080 --> 0:13:59.600 Heard mumbles in her mask. Yes, not knowing what she 0:13:59.720 --> 0:14:01.000 said and not caring. 0:14:01.400 --> 0:14:01.960 I don't care. 0:14:02.440 --> 0:14:04.760 She was right next to her, though, so she heard 0:14:04.800 --> 0:14:06.360 the words coming out of her mouth. 0:14:07.000 --> 0:14:07.560 So I turn. 0:14:07.679 --> 0:14:11.240 I'm like, literally, I perked my hair. I'm like whatever. 0:14:11.520 --> 0:14:15.160 I keep walking by and I hear her under her breath. 0:14:17.880 --> 0:14:25.160 It's terrible to say. She goes in her mask loud 0:14:25.240 --> 0:14:28.160 enough for me to hear it, and she like literally 0:14:29.560 --> 0:14:32.800 she made a sound all deep and rasty, and I 0:14:32.840 --> 0:14:36.640 was like, I go over to there. I literally stop, 0:14:36.800 --> 0:14:41.560 and I was stuck in my tracks, like is it wait? 0:14:42.240 --> 0:14:44.960 Did I just hear that correctly? And then I just 0:14:45.000 --> 0:14:50.280 start immediately just shaking. I'm like, no, this lady can't 0:14:50.280 --> 0:14:55.280 be serious she's talking. I just say, hey, it's so crazy, 0:14:55.360 --> 0:14:59.600 like she's not making it seem like there's no mental illness, 0:14:59.680 --> 0:15:02.400 just what so I deal with that and I and 0:15:02.440 --> 0:15:03.960 I don't mean to say crazy, like. 0:15:04.480 --> 0:15:05.840 But mental you know, it wasn't. 0:15:05.960 --> 0:15:08.360 It wasn't that type of like she wasn't having some 0:15:08.480 --> 0:15:11.560 kind of like mental outbreak or outburst or there was 0:15:11.600 --> 0:15:14.560 no like, there was no sickness. She was peratically fine 0:15:14.600 --> 0:15:16.640 when she told the man, hey, I'm in no big hurry, 0:15:16.680 --> 0:15:19.160 not worry, no worries going. She was totally fine, and 0:15:19.200 --> 0:15:21.800 her face was totally fine. While talking to the white 0:15:21.800 --> 0:15:25.120 man next to us, she was one percent okay with that. 0:15:25.760 --> 0:15:28.800 It was the tone, the grunting, the all of this. 0:15:29.160 --> 0:15:31.520 Her face was contorted and I saw all of this, 0:15:31.680 --> 0:15:33.960 and I saw her take her mask down and say 0:15:33.960 --> 0:15:34.920 something to the lady. 0:15:34.800 --> 0:15:38.840 Like yeah, I came back and I finally just grab something. 0:15:39.160 --> 0:15:41.480 I come back and I said to her, I'm like, 0:15:42.240 --> 0:15:45.440 you're shameful. What shame on you? I said, I heard 0:15:45.520 --> 0:15:47.360 what you said, and you're wrong for that. 0:15:48.280 --> 0:15:52.080 I was like, and she's like, I didn't hear what 0:15:52.120 --> 0:15:55.240 she I dare you, honey, I dare you. 0:15:55.240 --> 0:15:58.480 You don't want a piece of me, I went. 0:15:58.640 --> 0:16:01.800 And I used to hear. She's crying now and not 0:16:01.880 --> 0:16:04.120 wanting her. Everyone is looking. 0:16:04.120 --> 0:16:07.520 And the cash register, the cashier thinks her and I 0:16:07.600 --> 0:16:09.760 re beefing because she has no idea. This lady is 0:16:09.840 --> 0:16:13.280 talking to us we know, and she's looking me in 0:16:13.320 --> 0:16:16.280 my face, and she refuses to go to the next thing, 0:16:16.480 --> 0:16:17.960 until finally I say to. 0:16:17.960 --> 0:16:21.280 Her, Hey, it's Mother's Day. Can we just be peaceable? 0:16:21.480 --> 0:16:22.920 And I look at her and I go, hey, hey, 0:16:23.200 --> 0:16:25.000 please don't let her this lady see your emotion. 0:16:25.120 --> 0:16:27.400 She goes, Mom, you don't know what she just said. 0:16:27.440 --> 0:16:29.360 And I'm not even gonna tell you till we go outside. 0:16:29.440 --> 0:16:32.360 And like I said, I don't even care what she said. 0:16:32.440 --> 0:16:35.560 It doesn't matter what she said. Their words, She goes, 0:16:36.000 --> 0:16:38.960 they're not just words. I just we're gonna go outside. 0:16:38.960 --> 0:16:40.920 I'm not gonna tell you in here because we're in 0:16:40.920 --> 0:16:44.359 this store every day. We have such an awesome reputation. 0:16:44.560 --> 0:16:47.600 We're in there every day. They know us really well. 0:16:48.160 --> 0:16:50.960 We we're so pushing up. She's finishing up as well, 0:16:51.000 --> 0:16:54.040 because she's making threats. Next side, now she's making threads. 0:16:54.080 --> 0:16:55.720 She goes here and I'll see you outside, and I'm 0:16:55.720 --> 0:16:57.360 gonna see you outside. 0:16:57.960 --> 0:17:01.120 B I t h outside over and over and over. 0:17:01.240 --> 0:17:06.000 I finally go, hey, listen, we are all going outside 0:17:06.040 --> 0:17:08.960 in just a second. And I guess this conversation is 0:17:09.000 --> 0:17:10.960 gonna need to continue out there because I'm not going 0:17:11.040 --> 0:17:12.080 to keep hearing this from you. 0:17:12.200 --> 0:17:15.000 She's still threatening, but she's said to. 0:17:14.920 --> 0:17:17.879 Her and she's threatening me. And the cashier goes, I 0:17:17.920 --> 0:17:19.439 thought you were talking to your daughter. I go, my 0:17:19.520 --> 0:17:22.000 daughter is lovely. I wouldn't be talking to my daughter 0:17:22.040 --> 0:17:23.359 like that. She goes, I didn't think so I was 0:17:23.400 --> 0:17:25.639 so confused. I go, I don't know what this lady's 0:17:25.680 --> 0:17:28.760 problem is, but I'm just like, I don't even want 0:17:28.760 --> 0:17:31.480 to walk outside. I just can't even believe what's going on. 0:17:31.560 --> 0:17:36.440 I cannot ramses. I can't make this, still, weeks later 0:17:36.760 --> 0:17:40.720 make sense in my head. Why this person even needed 0:17:40.760 --> 0:17:43.840 to address me? Why are you talking to me? Why 0:17:43.880 --> 0:17:47.160 are you looking at me with such disdain? I've literally 0:17:47.200 --> 0:17:49.520 not even spoken to you, looked at you when I 0:17:49.560 --> 0:17:52.920 said let's be peaceable, all the threats started and all 0:17:53.040 --> 0:17:55.480 the literally insanity coming out of herself. 0:17:55.840 --> 0:18:01.320 So here's here's one of the things that I think. 0:18:02.280 --> 0:18:03.840 Uh and and of course we're going to listen to 0:18:03.880 --> 0:18:06.600 the rest of the story because it gets deeper, way deeper. 0:18:09.600 --> 0:18:11.480 That's what we're gonna take a We're gonna take a moment. 0:18:11.480 --> 0:18:17.520 It's okay. You know, there's this this term Karen. These 0:18:17.560 --> 0:18:23.000 are karens, and what a Karen is. A Karen is 0:18:23.080 --> 0:18:27.480 perhaps at her most careenness around black people. But you 0:18:27.520 --> 0:18:29.600 don't need a black person in order for a Karen 0:18:29.640 --> 0:18:31.879 to just be a Karen. A Karen, in my mind, 0:18:32.880 --> 0:18:41.960 is a usually a white woman who is appropriately entitled 0:18:42.760 --> 0:18:47.320 based on the way that this country tends to treat 0:18:47.640 --> 0:18:51.840 white women. They just get what they want. If they 0:18:51.880 --> 0:18:54.600 cry loud enough, the manager will help them and give 0:18:54.640 --> 0:18:56.840 them what they want. Just you know, shut up your holler. 0:18:59.040 --> 0:19:02.640 But a Karen, and on the other side of all 0:19:02.680 --> 0:19:08.000 of this Black Lives Matter protesting, you know, Karen is 0:19:08.040 --> 0:19:09.600 the sort of person that comes up with in all 0:19:09.640 --> 0:19:12.200 lives matter. You know, Karen is the sort of person 0:19:12.240 --> 0:19:14.919 that comes up with it. Any other thing matters, but 0:19:14.960 --> 0:19:19.000 don't say black lives matter. Every everything else matters. Karen 0:19:19.040 --> 0:19:22.280 is the sort of person who will make will try 0:19:22.280 --> 0:19:23.480 to make your day worse. 0:19:23.359 --> 0:19:26.479 Because on the inside she is miserable. 0:19:26.000 --> 0:19:27.560 And it wasn't working. And I felt that I go, 0:19:27.680 --> 0:19:30.879 she's miserable, don't worry about her just and I kept saying, 0:19:30.880 --> 0:19:33.720 please just check your she goes. She had her back 0:19:33.760 --> 0:19:35.320 to the lady because she's like, I don't want her 0:19:35.320 --> 0:19:36.040 to see me crying. 0:19:36.119 --> 0:19:38.720 I hate that I'm feelings about my mom. 0:19:39.280 --> 0:19:44.679 Like I work at a luxury car dealership. I have 0:19:44.800 --> 0:19:48.440 these experiences more than they should. But she said about 0:19:48.440 --> 0:19:52.119 my mom. So I was like, just trying to time 0:19:52.160 --> 0:19:54.560 to go. And then that's what was making me cry, 0:19:54.680 --> 0:19:58.800 because I know I have to keep us for me. 0:19:59.520 --> 0:20:03.160 It was the the fact that my daughter is obviously 0:20:03.359 --> 0:20:09.520 so hurt that she's visibly shaken in public, and not 0:20:09.640 --> 0:20:12.040 in a way where she could even hold back the emotion. 0:20:12.160 --> 0:20:13.800 It was just that raw. It's just that real. 0:20:14.080 --> 0:20:16.880 I think there's something to be said too about knowing 0:20:17.680 --> 0:20:20.840 that you're at a disadvantage when dealing with a Karen, 0:20:20.960 --> 0:20:24.600 because as soon as you respond in kind, you're the aggressor, 0:20:25.160 --> 0:20:28.639 you're the threat, you're the criminal, you're the angry black woman, 0:20:28.800 --> 0:20:31.280 you're any number of things. And she's just a woman 0:20:31.280 --> 0:20:34.639 who was just trying to move the line along and 0:20:34.680 --> 0:20:35.720 they minimize. 0:20:36.840 --> 0:20:38.600 So you shouldn't be worrying about it. 0:20:38.720 --> 0:20:40.240 You know that doesn't matter. 0:20:40.400 --> 0:20:40.880 Didn't matter. 0:20:41.240 --> 0:20:44.040 That's why you tried to keep your composure. So you 0:20:44.080 --> 0:20:44.920 guys go outside. 0:20:45.040 --> 0:20:47.399 We both I have to give her credit because she 0:20:47.440 --> 0:20:52.240 really did. She maintained her composure. We went outside, and 0:20:52.440 --> 0:20:55.360 I knew. Now she's checked out on the belt next 0:20:55.440 --> 0:20:57.680 to us. I know she's coming because she wants this 0:20:57.720 --> 0:21:02.720 with me. She's threatening me. She's threatening her, threatening to 0:21:02.920 --> 0:21:05.159 beat her up, which is cracking me up inside. To 0:21:05.200 --> 0:21:09.120 be honest with you, I couldn't even get upset yet yet, 0:21:09.320 --> 0:21:09.920 I couldn't even. 0:21:09.800 --> 0:21:10.360 Get up at her. 0:21:11.000 --> 0:21:14.959 She's like, I'm not exaggerating, I mean like eighty. 0:21:16.680 --> 0:21:20.280 Like he's an eighty year old woman. Now where I'm from. 0:21:20.680 --> 0:21:24.560 You respect your elders of any type. And for me, 0:21:24.600 --> 0:21:26.879 when you get older, you might not really be dealing 0:21:26.920 --> 0:21:30.160 with the nicest situation or your life. Is I don't 0:21:30.200 --> 0:21:31.800 know what, and it's not up to me to worry 0:21:31.800 --> 0:21:34.280 about that. It's up to me to continue to be kind, 0:21:34.359 --> 0:21:36.760 continue to smile at you, and to be a good 0:21:36.760 --> 0:21:39.560 example to my child, which is exactly what I was doing. 0:21:40.600 --> 0:21:42.480 But the threats were just killing me. And I looked 0:21:42.520 --> 0:21:44.880 at the cashier. I'm like, Yo, this is crazy right here. 0:21:44.920 --> 0:21:45.840 She needs to stop. 0:21:46.240 --> 0:21:48.000 But nobody was really doing anything. 0:21:48.080 --> 0:21:50.920 I notice people's attention and I noticed they were looking 0:21:50.920 --> 0:21:53.320 at her, but I didn't nobody's doing anything. It didn't, 0:21:53.359 --> 0:21:56.600