Speaker 1: Hey, ba fam, it's Mandy Money here aka Mandra. Listen, y'all,
Speaker 1: I want this to be the year when you finally
Speaker 1: learn how to be the badass negotiator that you have
Speaker 1: always wanted to be. Whether you are plucking up your
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Speaker 1: I have got a five step signature salary negotiation strategy
Speaker 1: that I only teach in my free virtual Nail Your
Speaker 1: Negotiation Masterclass. I've got one coming up in just a
Speaker 1: couple of weeks. You can sign up and save your
Speaker 1: spot at Nail your Negotiation dot Com. That's Nail your
Speaker 1: Negotiation dot Com. I can't wait to see y'all there.
Speaker 2: Hey, hey, Hey, we're back. We're black. We're extra extra brown.
Speaker 3: Today because we have a guess ambition ambis ambition, ambis
Speaker 3: ambission ambition.
Speaker 4: Hey Manra, how are you triple the chocolate today? I'm
Speaker 4: doing well, my Valentine? How are you gorgeous?
Speaker 2: I'm good.
Speaker 4: You look so cute with your with your on your
Speaker 4: on your chesticle, well, you know, on my chesticle. Yeah,
Speaker 4: you know I have I have a child now, so
Speaker 4: I don't have a choice. I have to go down
Speaker 4: the Valentine aisle at grocery stores and pack his little
Speaker 4: Valentines for all his little friends who will not remember
Speaker 4: this because they're three years old. So why do I
Speaker 4: have to make fourteen Valentine's goodie bags? But anyway, I'm good.
Speaker 4: I celebrated Valentine's Day by going to hear my baby's
Speaker 4: heartbeat this morning. I went to the to the guy no,
Speaker 4: and I thought like, oh, yeah, I'm gonna wear I'm
Speaker 4: gonna rock the heart sweat, you know, the big heart
Speaker 4: sweater and go in and just be a little extra.
Speaker 4: The girls in the Obe office were not feeling the
Speaker 4: Valentine's vibes today. I was like, people gone through some
Speaker 4: bad breakups or what? Yeah, happy to be happy to
Speaker 4: be with you. How's your v Day going? How you
Speaker 4: doing good?
Speaker 3: Honestly, a lot of people reached out because you know,
Speaker 3: it's the day of love. And the truth is, I'm not.
Speaker 3: I was never all that super sentimental. I mean, Jarelle
Speaker 3: was definitely the super sentimental, so I would have woke up.
Speaker 4: To all the ones.
Speaker 2: I mean I was like, you're the lady.
Speaker 4: I would up to all the things, and it's always
Speaker 4: one in a couple, it's all yeah.
Speaker 2: And so that was him.
Speaker 3: But honestly, because I wasn't you know, I always appreciate it,
Speaker 3: obviously the effort, but not necessarily didn't need the things,
Speaker 3: and so I don't know. I actually feel okay today.
Speaker 3: I don't feel if I you know, if my sister
Speaker 3: hadn't told me, I wouldn't have known. I'm not really
Speaker 3: heavy on social today, so I probably won't see all
Speaker 3: the posts and things. But my friend Mark and his
Speaker 3: wife actually sent me chocolates and a car, which I
Speaker 3: thought it was so nice. But being marked, being marked,
Speaker 3: it was like happy, happy Valentine's Day.
Speaker 2: Monkey.
Speaker 3: I was like, you know what, if you knew my
Speaker 3: friend Mark is not white. Yes, if you knew my
Speaker 3: friend Mark, you would know that that is something that
Speaker 3: he'd be like, I said, tivity buggy guard.
Speaker 2: I'm like, you know, a market. But it was really sweet.
Speaker 4: I was like, oh so sweet.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Well, Enrique tried to sneak out husband tried to sneak
Speaker 4: out the house last night at ten thirty, talking about
Speaker 4: I need to go to the store. I said, and
Speaker 4: I literally was like, Babe, go to sleep. Like I'm
Speaker 4: already mad at you because you didn't appreciate the breakfast
Speaker 4: that I made for you because you were in a rush.
Speaker 4: So like, just go to sleep and tomorrow just be
Speaker 4: you know, nice. That's the stage that I'm at in
Speaker 4: my marriage and relationships. Like, don't I'd rather.
Speaker 3: Speaking of Valentine's Day and the Jay Jay? Wait, do
Speaker 3: we just make that transition?
Speaker 4: It's a different Hey, it's V Day on Brown ambition,
Speaker 4: but not the time might Oh.
Speaker 3: Yes, you know that's a good title for your moani
Speaker 3: o our producer V Day, you know, via the Vagina
Speaker 3: V provo exactly. So we've got an also awesome guest today.
Speaker 3: Her name is Jenna Jenna Perkins. She is a g
Speaker 3: y N and a sexual help specialist. She specifically serves
Speaker 3: the Washington, DC, Maryland and Virginia area, also know as
Speaker 3: the DMV. She's an RN and she's a Board certified
Speaker 3: Women's Health and Gender Related Nurse practitioner. She's originally from
Speaker 3: the d AS in Detroit, Michigan, Okay, Jenna. She completed
Speaker 3: her undergraduate studies and Masters in Women's Health at the
Speaker 3: University of Pennsylvania.
Speaker 2: That's called Ivy League in their school of nursing.
Speaker 3: Her career as a nurse practitioner launched in a busy
Speaker 3: down in a busy downtown DC office, where she became
Speaker 3: an expert in urology, which is how I met her
Speaker 3: sexual health and pelvic floor disorders. She specializes in complex
Speaker 3: patient and complex patients and offers a holistic approach to care.
Speaker 3: So I just wanted to like, so how I met Jenna.
Speaker 3: This is just like kind of like our certain time
Speaker 3: kind of meeting because on one of my employees, we
Speaker 3: would always joke that like, girl, you know your coffee sneeze,
Speaker 3: you're like whip, They're God mondies, you know. Like I've
Speaker 3: always been a like there's never a time that I
Speaker 3: can't give you a urine sample.
Speaker 2: Never.
Speaker 3: I don't know if I just gave you one, I'm
Speaker 3: always ready. So I knew that it wasn't normal. Remember
Speaker 3: that time, Mandy, when we both had like COVID and
Speaker 3: we were coughing and we both were like, I know
Speaker 3: you're in a pad and not for not for your period.
Speaker 4: Listen, can I just full disclosure because I am pregnant
Speaker 4: now and rio eft up everything down there. My first
Speaker 4: he just came out swinging and it has not been
Speaker 4: the same. And I was shocked to hear Tiffany you
Speaker 4: have that problem too, because I thought, damn, I just
Speaker 4: went not this child, their friend, you know, done something,
Speaker 4: you know, like it wouldn't be the issue, but it's.
Speaker 3: Something we need to So I want to Jenda to
Speaker 3: come because honestly, I peed the bed till I was ten.
Speaker 3: I've always had a really hard time holding it, and
Speaker 3: so I wanted, you know, Jenna to come on to
Speaker 3: kind of chat with us about not just that but
Speaker 3: just like vulv of health overall. So Jenna, welcome to
Speaker 3: BA BA the Bride Ambition.
Speaker 5: I'm so excited to be here. Guys like I am ecstatic.
Speaker 5: And first of all, thank you for being so vulnerable
Speaker 5: and opening it up because both of you have in
Speaker 5: these experiences and sharing it with your audience. That's going
Speaker 5: to give so many women permission to say, hey, I
Speaker 5: heard that this is not normal, or I know that
Speaker 5: I'm not alone. You know there are other women that
Speaker 5: maybe have not had kids that are suffering. Right because
Speaker 5: we give ourselves these reasons, why right, this is happening
Speaker 5: to me? Because and therefore I don't deserve or should
Speaker 5: not explore options to make it better. It's because I
Speaker 5: had a baby, It's because you know, I'm stressed, or whatever.
Speaker 5: The reason is. There is hope for you, and there
Speaker 5: are solutions out there. So I'm so excited to get
Speaker 5: into it. I'm excited. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Well, can you just answer me this, Jenna? Why do
Speaker 2: I p on myself like I have not had a baby.
Speaker 3: Because you said something you asked me about, like where
Speaker 3: I held stress or whatever. So many just listen, this
Speaker 3: was so like I never thought about that. So yes,
Speaker 3: can you share why potentially someone who has not had
Speaker 3: children pushed the baby out might have a hard time
Speaker 3: holding when they have to pay.
Speaker 5: Yes, So I just have to give my disclaimer. I'm
Speaker 5: a nurse, but I'm not your nurse unless you come
Speaker 5: see me at Discover her Health in the DC area.
Speaker 5: So I can't give medical advice, but I can give
Speaker 5: some general kind of recommendations because just like you tip,
Speaker 5: I love to teach. I consider myself an educator Discover
Speaker 5: her Health. The her is healthcare, education and resources, So
Speaker 5: education is you know, my middle name as far as
Speaker 5: my business. But all of that to say just because
Speaker 5: you have not had some sort of trauma like a birth,
Speaker 5: does not mean that your muscles that are in charge
Speaker 5: of the bladder are not overworked, overtired, you know, not
Speaker 5: working properly, and so oftentimes, especially in women who are ambitious,
Speaker 5: you know, type A personalities, we hold our stress in
Speaker 5: our bodies. And so I can see from a mile
Speaker 5: away the lawyer walking down the street, just by the
Speaker 5: way that she walks, you know, And I think the
Speaker 5: question that I asked you was, what's your jaw like?
Speaker 5: You know, what are your teeth like? Do you gnaw
Speaker 5: your teeth at night? Because so many of my clients
Speaker 5: have had extensive dental work, and nobody when they are
Speaker 5: in the dental chair is thinking about their vaginas or
Speaker 5: their vulvas or their bladder. But it's all connected. You're
Speaker 5: one big zipper. So if you're stressed and you're tight
Speaker 5: in your jaw, then you're probably stressing and tight in
Speaker 5: your shoulders, and you're probably stressed and tight in your
Speaker 5: butt muscles. And the same thing in the pelvic floor,
Speaker 5: which are the tiny muscles that are in charge of
Speaker 5: so much function. It's in charge of birthing babies, it's
Speaker 5: in charge of sexual function, it's in charge of pooping.
Speaker 5: It allows you to breathe. Your diaphragm is a part
Speaker 5: of your pelvis and your pelvic floor. So literally every
Speaker 5: essential functioning, pooping, breathing, birthing, having sex has something to
Speaker 5: do with the pelvic floor. And so when people are like, oh,
Speaker 5: you do this and this and this and this, and
Speaker 5: how does it all connect, it's because I work with
Speaker 5: that very small area, the pelvic floor, which has so
Speaker 5: much function. And when there is so much function, there's
Speaker 5: room for dysfunction. Right, So yeah, so are stress? Can
Speaker 5: we can pelvic floor? For sure? For sure?
Speaker 4: And so I like say, clinching would be good because't
Speaker 4: Cagel's kind of all about the clinch I'm doing them
Speaker 4: right now. I always forget to do them.
Speaker 5: If you take anything away from this conversation is to
Speaker 5: stop doing the keegels.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, thank you? Wait why because my literally
Speaker 4: that's what I have been So I've been sick for
Speaker 4: so long and the chronic coughing, Tiffany, It's not paths
Speaker 4: anymore for me. It's full on going to the disposable
Speaker 4: underwear section of CBS. Although I'm not gonna lie I don't.
Speaker 4: I dore dash it so I don't have to because
Speaker 4: it's so frustrating, like change anyway, and my and I
Speaker 4: have gone to my my OB, my my prenatal you know,
Speaker 4: doctors and like that. She's just like cagels, you know,
Speaker 4: or once the baby's out, it'll be better, but tell
Speaker 4: me please.
Speaker 5: So first of all, she has ten minutes with you.
Speaker 5: That's all that she can really literally because insurance write
Speaker 5: her insurance or your insurance is like in order for
Speaker 5: her to be profitable, she has to see fifteen twenty
Speaker 5: people a day in order.
Speaker 4: To different ob every week. Yeah, I don't ever know
Speaker 4: who my OB is. I'm like, I just see someone.
Speaker 5: Different, right, And so to have an intimate conversation about
Speaker 5: something like this write something that's so learning, bro. Most
Speaker 5: people don't even want to bring it up to their providers, right,
Speaker 5: And so that makes it so that obgyns and other
Speaker 5: providers they don't have to think about it. They're like,
Speaker 5: most people are not asking me about it anyway. And
Speaker 5: it happens to so many women that I can just
Speaker 5: you know, brush them off. And if it's still happening
Speaker 5: post pregnancy, then we can have a conversation because I
Speaker 5: don't have time. I gotta go. I got five people
Speaker 5: waiting on me, you know, and they're dealing with serious things.
Speaker 5: You know, they got a pregnancy loss, they got someone
Speaker 5: with pre ecclansia, you know, like they are like urinary leakage.
Speaker 5: I don't have time for you know, you're fine? Are
Speaker 5: you dying? No? Okay, good, My hand's on the door.
Speaker 5: I got to leave the room. So and it's not
Speaker 5: because they don't care or because they don't want to
Speaker 5: give you the best service. Is that the medical model
Speaker 5: that we have, they literally are unable to care for
Speaker 5: you in the way that you deserve. So it's we
Speaker 5: have to advocate for ourselves as clients to say, no, listen,
Speaker 5: I need you to take this seriously, and it may
Speaker 5: not be the highest priority on your list, but I
Speaker 5: need you to give you some real direction. And kegels
Speaker 5: are not cutting it. Right. The reason that kegels don't
Speaker 5: cut it is because if you walked around with your
Speaker 5: arm clinched all day, you know, tight, tight, tight, if
Speaker 5: you wanted to pick up a bag or a baby
Speaker 5: or anything else, your range of motion is severely inhibited. Right,
Speaker 5: So you're doing this when you should be doing a
Speaker 5: full on squeeze, right. So that's all muscles. That's how
Speaker 5: all muscles function, and the pelvic floor is not exempt.
Speaker 5: So if your pelvic floor muscles are tight, if you're
Speaker 5: a tight ass, right, and you're walking around at baseline,
Speaker 5: just like clinched up when you go to Cofsnie's left,
Speaker 5: pick up that baby, your muscles don't have nothing left to.
Speaker 4: Give this, you're gonna leak.
Speaker 5: They're weak because they are tight, and so truly strength
Speaker 5: comes from being able to tighten. So at baseline, we're relaxed,
Speaker 5: we're chilling. Here comes to action, so now I know
Speaker 5: I need to tighten to protect right. So that's the
Speaker 5: skinny of it, and why I think that a lot
Speaker 5: of women suffer from incontinent That is worse when you
Speaker 5: do things like he was, because you're steady tightening, right,
Speaker 5: You're tightening, tighten and tightening, and then comes pain, right
Speaker 5: because those muscles are overworked and then they're tired. So
Speaker 5: then you're have an intercourse and you're like, oh, I
Speaker 5: don't like that no more. You know from the back
Speaker 5: used to feel good, but now I can't take it.
Speaker 5: Now I'm running right because those muscles are so tight,
Speaker 5: the same way your shoulders get tight and then someone
Speaker 5: comes up behind you and tries to do a little
Speaker 5: massage and you're like, I don't do that. That hurts, right, Yeah,
Speaker 5: so it's the same thing.
Speaker 4: What can help is out there waits.
Speaker 5: Come see me, Come see me. First of all, I'm jesting,
Speaker 5: but serious ingest.
Speaker 4: I didn't know there were pelvic floor specialist people that
Speaker 4: just are not on that.
Speaker 5: It's not a lot of meat in the world. I
Speaker 5: consider my skills to be unicorn skills because we work
Speaker 5: in silos in the medical system. Right. So traditionally I
Speaker 5: would have come out of school and gone straight to
Speaker 5: an obgyn's office and been caring for women who are
Speaker 5: pregnant or having use infections, right, And I would have
Speaker 5: stayed in that world. But because of my personality, I
Speaker 5: like the complex. I kind of run to If nobody
Speaker 5: else wants to see it, I want to see it.
Speaker 5: So I was very intentional about I want to see
Speaker 5: the women that nobody else wants to see. And so
Speaker 5: that landed me in a urology clinic. Right. Because to
Speaker 5: your point, people don't have time to be hearing about
Speaker 5: you peeing your parents. You know, and I can remember
Speaker 5: being a nursing student and having a client. We had
Speaker 5: to go into the community and we had a client
Speaker 5: or I had a client who her family was going
Speaker 5: to put her in a nursing home because she was
Speaker 5: in continent. It wasn't because just because in Comton, they
Speaker 5: just could not change her her right, they didn't have
Speaker 5: the capacity to be able to, you know, keep tabs
Speaker 5: on her and her diapers, right, And so they were like, well,
Speaker 5: we need help, we need support. It's too expensive to
Speaker 5: have someone coming in just to help her to the
Speaker 5: bathroom or to changer all the time, and we can
Speaker 5: do this, So we're going to put her in a home.
Speaker 5: And that really stuck with me. I really felt like,
Speaker 5: this woman still has some life in her and that's
Speaker 5: been cut short because her family does not have the
Speaker 5: capacity to care for her because of this condition. That
Speaker 5: there has to be treatments out here for So having
Speaker 5: that experience and a lot of other experiences, I was like, Okay,
Speaker 5: I have to be intentional about caring for women that
Speaker 5: need me, the most vulnerable women amongst us. And so
Speaker 5: I started to work in neurology, and so I had
Speaker 5: these gyn skills because I am a women's health and
Speaker 5: gender related nurse practitioner, So I can do the yeast infections,
Speaker 5: I can do the you know, ob care. I can
Speaker 5: do all of that. But now additionally, I can connect
Speaker 5: the dots between the women that are coming in with
Speaker 5: chronic yeast infections and chronic BV and all of these
Speaker 5: urinary tract infections are off so having in continent. Right.
Speaker 4: Oh, and I hadn't thought about urology at all, you know, right,
Speaker 4: And that's and and for people who don't know, that's
Speaker 4: your Yeah, I did just pee a little. Keep that
Speaker 4: in my No, but every time you hear a cough,
Speaker 4: just think rip to my.
Speaker 5: Disposition and therefore to your pocket, because those paths are
Speaker 5: not cheat.
Speaker 4: I'm saying, you know. And my husband brought the wrong
Speaker 4: size the other day and I was trying to squeeze
Speaker 4: my butt into a size medium and I'm like, and
Speaker 4: they're ripping, and I'm like, god, damn it, that's like falst.
Speaker 2: That job.
Speaker 3: That's why this conversation is right on time, because it's right.
Speaker 3: No one really like I mean, you'll see here obviously
Speaker 3: on Brown and Bision, we just talk about everything because
Speaker 3: you know, we're two brown girls now three trying to
Speaker 3: navigate life. And so you know this is something that
Speaker 3: I think not enough women, you know, feel comfortable talking about.
Speaker 3: To your point, you know, no one wants to act
Speaker 3: like something is wrong with their blah blah or something's
Speaker 3: wrong down there because there's so much judgment associated with that.
Speaker 4: So when you're so big, it doesn't seem like you.
Speaker 4: To your point, I'm not dying, and you describe so
Speaker 4: perfectly my experience in my OB's office that they care,
Speaker 4: but like I'm not. There's no like life threatening situation,
Speaker 4: so they scoop me on out.
Speaker 3: Let's pause this vagina chat because we have to go
Speaker 3: to break, you know, pay some bills, and we'll be
Speaker 3: right back. We're back like backshots, you said what I
Speaker 3: did that anyway, back to our conversation back Like what backshots?
Speaker 4: What's a backshot?
Speaker 2: Maybe you don't get a girl.
Speaker 3: That's my favorite position, is that like a sexual yes
Speaker 3: girl just from the back?
Speaker 4: Oh well, you know I don't. I'm not maybe two
Speaker 4: kids my maternity pillow during the act, because that is
Speaker 4: my level. Like there has to be.
Speaker 3: Some supports, like you already take that part out, Like.
Speaker 5: So urology is the care of the bladder. Just Okay,
Speaker 5: so urology is bladder care. So when we think about
Speaker 5: those pelvic floor muscles again, all of that function of peeing, pooping, sex,
Speaker 5: and birthing, the bladder is a part of that. Right.
Speaker 5: And so when we work in these silos, if I
Speaker 5: was only doing guy n are only doing obstetric care
Speaker 5: or only doing bladder health, it's hard to really have
Speaker 5: a holistic view of the whole person in front of
Speaker 5: you because it would have been super easy for me
Speaker 5: to just be like, Okay, well all of these women
Speaker 5: have overactive bladder, so now I'm going to give them
Speaker 5: these medications that are going to cause you know, long
Speaker 5: term side effects dry mouth, dry eyes, constipation, which is
Speaker 5: going to worsen their pelvic floor dysfunction. Right, and then
Speaker 5: they'll be back here next year for more refills. Right.
Speaker 5: And then when they turn sixty seventy years old, they're
Speaker 5: having memory loss because these drugs affect the brain. Right.
Speaker 5: So I think I was definitely a afforded the opportunity
Speaker 5: to have all of these skills that seemed like they
Speaker 5: didn't connect, but be able to put the pieces together.
Speaker 5: So and then the sexual health kind of came along
Speaker 5: with it too, because these same women were having vaginal dryness.
Speaker 5: You know, I really used I used to be able
Speaker 5: to have an orgasm in five minutes or less than that.
Speaker 5: Thirty seconds I was having an orgasm. Now I can't
Speaker 5: have an orgasm anymore. Or you know, the women that
Speaker 5: were coming in and saying like, I think I have
Speaker 5: a urinary tract infection, but nobody has been able to
Speaker 5: figure it out, when really it's because those muscles are
Speaker 5: so tight that it's signaling to your brain a pain signal, right,
Speaker 5: and so your brain doesn't know the difference between an
Speaker 5: infection or overact the bladder or tight muscles. It's just
Speaker 5: like go to the bathroom and will feel better because
Speaker 5: we relax when we sit on the toilet.
Speaker 4: I always thought it was like everything was too loosey
Speaker 4: goosey down there, and like envision like having a drawstring
Speaker 4: or just want to like turn yes. So you're kind
Speaker 4: of saying that it's the opposite, right, And you.
Speaker 5: Know it would depend on like we'd have to do
Speaker 5: an exam to see, right. But a lot of that
Speaker 5: tightening comes from if your muscles and if your you know,
Speaker 5: volvo vaginal tissue has not properly healed, then you can
Speaker 5: have overtightening. So both things can't exist where the look
Speaker 5: of your vulva the look of your vagina might look different.
Speaker 5: Things might be literally falling out right, Like your bladder
Speaker 5: can fall out. It's something called prolapse.
Speaker 4: I'm on that side of TikTok right now.
Speaker 5: Mm hmmm.
Speaker 4: I thought, yes, someone one was like I was peeing
Speaker 4: and then my bladder was in my hand.
Speaker 5: Oh, and you're like, what is this? You know, I've
Speaker 5: had patients coming in like Jenna, I think I have
Speaker 5: a penis, Like I look down there and I had
Speaker 5: a penis coming out, And what she's seeing is her cervix. Right,
Speaker 5: it has a whole, just like a penis, and her
Speaker 5: whole uterus had prolapse. So when you have so, you
Speaker 5: can have the structures that are literally changing and becoming
Speaker 5: loosey goosey, right, But those muscles are going to respond
Speaker 5: by tightening because something got to hold it together.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's funny that you say that, because honestly, I've
Speaker 3: always been told like even now, if I feel like
Speaker 3: these are your trats whatever they're like, they've always been
Speaker 3: super tight same, you know, like holding on too, like
Speaker 3: the slurk, so I don't grind my teeth, but it's
Speaker 3: like I'm holding it here and apparently down there because
Speaker 3: when I was really little, honestly, at one point my
Speaker 3: doctor because I, like, you know, I was having such
Speaker 3: a hard time, they worried that I was being like
Speaker 3: assaulted potentially, and then that's why I wasn't able to
Speaker 3: like hold you know, my pee. That was not the case. Remember,
Speaker 3: they asked me all these questions. Anybody touch you? That
Speaker 3: I remember I remember just sticklarly like it was in
Speaker 3: the room. My mom and I had to be like
Speaker 3: second grade and the doctor was like doctor being I'll
Speaker 3: never forget.
Speaker 2: She said, does anyone touch you down there? I was
Speaker 2: like yes. She was like who a city you? Because
Speaker 2: I look like what's happening? Because she was the only
Speaker 2: one other than my mother, and she was like, girl,
Speaker 2: I mean somebody. I was like, girl, you all up
Speaker 2: in there?
Speaker 5: You asked me question.
Speaker 3: My mother like is this a loud because this lady
Speaker 3: my mother just started busting out laughing like not the
Speaker 3: doctor's tiffany. I'm like, well she wasn't clear.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but stressed? I mean, were you a stressed out child? Like,
Speaker 5: what sort of other traumas did you have in your
Speaker 5: life that you know had your pelvis tight? You were
Speaker 5: you were in fear of something, you know, and so
Speaker 5: that's gonna manifest physically.
Speaker 4: You were anxious, interesting, very anxious. I think about Viola
Speaker 4: Davis's book because she had such a traumatic childhood and
Speaker 4: she talks about peeing the bed for a long time
Speaker 4: as a child.
Speaker 3: I was very anxious all the time. Honestly, I was
Speaker 3: an anxious child, anxious adults. I mean, it's honestly just
Speaker 3: now that I'm starting to finally release some of the
Speaker 3: anxiety that, like I carried with you, I didn't realize
Speaker 3: I gotten so used to it that now that I'm
Speaker 3: not carrying around largely most of that anxiety that I'm like, wait,
Speaker 3: is this I felt like up until like therapy, honestly,
Speaker 3: that I was always walking on eggs shells a free
Speaker 3: always always always wait, you know, always, And so now
Speaker 3: that like, you know, after Drill passed away and I
Speaker 3: was like, I don't want to live in this space
Speaker 3: anymore in that kind of way, like I'm like.
Speaker 2: Wait, is this what relax feels like? I've never been relaxed.
Speaker 5: It's hard yeah, And so a lot of the work
Speaker 5: that I do with my clients is training you on
Speaker 5: what it feels like to not be clinching all the time, right,
Speaker 5: So teaching you how to breathe so that you can
Speaker 5: create space in your pelvis to give your public floor
Speaker 5: muscles permission to relax. Because right now your baseline is
Speaker 5: type tight tight Tight's that's all that it knows, right,
Speaker 5: And so you have to train your brain and literally
Speaker 5: reteach your muscles how to work properly.
Speaker 4: So, can you talk about some practical tips generally for
Speaker 4: anyone who's suffering from like pelvic floor issues, what we
Speaker 4: could be doing, because honestly, it's like we saw that
Speaker 4: one episode of Oprah in two thousand and four about
Speaker 4: doing cagles and it's just like that's the go to.
Speaker 5: Yeah what Yeah, So if kingos aren't all bad, like
Speaker 5: I don't want it. You know, there are some clients
Speaker 5: that they are indicated for, but if you have pain
Speaker 5: and if you don't know how to properly do them,
Speaker 5: then they're not right. So I would say that if
Speaker 5: you are doing them on your own, you need to
Speaker 5: have a coach in the way of someone like me,
Speaker 5: Like I'm a women's health nurse practitioner, or you can
Speaker 5: find a pelvic floor physical therapist, someone who can teach
Speaker 5: you in a couple of sessions to make sure that
Speaker 5: you're doing the exercise correctly, because if you're doing it incorrectly,
Speaker 5: you are working against yourself, right, because if you think
Speaker 5: that you are tightening the muscles around the bladder because
Speaker 5: you have urinary leakage, but then you're just tightening your
Speaker 5: butt muscles instead, right, So then when you go to poop,
Speaker 5: those muscles can't around, your rectum can't relax, and now
Speaker 5: you're constipated, you know. So really you need to work
Speaker 5: with a specialist to figure out how to do the
Speaker 5: exercises correctly, and then you go on your own and
Speaker 5: do it. And so there's lots of information I would
Speaker 5: say if you find ISSUISH I s s w s H.
Speaker 5: It's the International Society for the Study of Women's Sexual Health.
Speaker 5: There are lots of gynecologists, nurse practitioners like myself, youurologists
Speaker 5: who are members of this society, and we are all
Speaker 5: really trained on the pelvit floor and the impacts of
Speaker 5: the pelvile floor and all of the function and dysfunction
Speaker 5: that is there, and I'm going to give a shout
Speaker 5: out real quick. There is a public floor physical therapist
Speaker 5: on Instagram. She's the Vagina Rehab Doctor. She's black, and
Speaker 5: she has like a lot of online resources that you
Speaker 5: can sign up to do some stretch lass Vagina Rehab doctor.
Speaker 4: Immediately, what are you want?
Speaker 5: I know I should shout out myself first. I am
Speaker 5: on social media as Discover her Health. It's d s
Speaker 5: COO v h e R Discover her Health and my
Speaker 5: website is discover Herhealth dot com. And so I share
Speaker 5: a lot of information on my Instagram page too, and
Speaker 5: have some plans in the works to launch some courses
Speaker 5: to teach you all about sexual health and bladder health
Speaker 5: and all of this stuff.
Speaker 4: So for black women, especially, like I know Tiffany suffered
Speaker 4: from fibroids, and can you speak a little bit about like,
Speaker 4: I mean, that's such a I think we're just now
Speaker 4: understanding how like what an epidemic this is almost for
Speaker 4: Black women, especially in our community, Like can you talk
Speaker 4: about just the importance of advocating for ourselves. Is it
Speaker 4: that doctors over overlook our pain or is it that
Speaker 4: we diminish it? Like what's your advice for women who
Speaker 4: who are in our community who are dealing with this,
Speaker 4: and why has it? Why are we just more likely
Speaker 4: to be suffering?
Speaker 5: You know, it's a heavy question. It's a lot of things.
Speaker 5: One the doctors, the nurses, they don't know, they don't
Speaker 5: know any better. They're telling you to keegle, not because
Speaker 5: they know that it's going to harm you, right, but
Speaker 5: because they we don't get this education in school, like
Speaker 5: I am self taught in most of these things, Like
Speaker 5: I had to seek out conferences and become certified and
Speaker 5: learn these skills. I had to intentionally do that, and
Speaker 5: I was blessed enough to have the space to do so.
Speaker 5: You know, So most of your providers are not going
Speaker 5: to understand the first thing about the public floor, which
Speaker 5: is why they're telling you to keel, even though you
Speaker 5: don't necessarily need to. Y'all say that. And I think
Speaker 5: that the more we advocate for ourselves as clients, the
Speaker 5: more the provider will have to be like, well, you're
Speaker 5: not about to catch me slipping, You're not gonna like
Speaker 5: educate me, you know, So then they are going to take,
Speaker 5: hopefully take that up to become educated about the public floor.
Speaker 5: So we have to advocate for ourselves. We have to
Speaker 5: find the experts, and then the experts have to know
Speaker 5: their weaknesses. So gynecologists have to know who to refer to.
Speaker 5: Primary care providers have to know who to refer to.
Speaker 5: And so that's why I'm excited to be here so
Speaker 5: that I can, as a young black mom of a
Speaker 5: three year old and a one year old, with all
Speaker 5: of these lived experiences with my black face right be
Speaker 5: on this podcast and say like, I am here doing
Speaker 5: this work because there are not many of me, and
Speaker 5: hopefully I can inspire other nurses, other nurse practitioners, other
Speaker 5: obgyns to start to take up the work and start
Speaker 5: to do it alongside me. So it's a heavy question
Speaker 5: and I am just you know, trying to do my part.
Speaker 5: I quit my job. I was like, I can't do
Speaker 5: this anymore within the system. I have this dream. It's
Speaker 5: on my heart, like all right, God, I don't know
Speaker 5: how I'm gonna do it, but I'm gonna follow Tiffany.
Speaker 5: It's you know, she's gonna help me launch this business
Speaker 5: and I'm gonna help her with three thousand floor I.
Speaker 4: Love a quitter, though, I love a career quitner. I
Speaker 4: didn't realize that, so you left and so now this
Speaker 4: is your Well, I do know that you're an entrepreneur.
Speaker 4: So when did you launch this particular business and how
Speaker 4: has that journey been?
Speaker 5: Okay, so today marks one year in business.
Speaker 4: Yeah, oh congrats, I'm a baby business owner too.
Speaker 5: Yeah, thank you. So one year ago I had a
Speaker 5: job offer making the most money that I would have
Speaker 5: ever made. You know, it's a really great job offer.
Speaker 5: And then I had a panic attack, and I was like,
Speaker 5: why am I stressed?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 5: Because now I teach you all day you have to
Speaker 5: listen to your body. You have to listen to the city.
Speaker 5: Why is my body telling me that I am not aligned?
Speaker 5: You know? Why am I feeling physically unwell if I
Speaker 5: have this amazing opportunity in front of me. And I
Speaker 5: just knew that I had to launch Discover Health. I
Speaker 5: had been talking about it, and I was just like,
Speaker 5: it's now or never. At that point, I had my
Speaker 5: second baby in three years, you know, he was six
Speaker 5: months old, and I just felt like I was not
Speaker 5: getting the care that I wanted and there were there
Speaker 5: was no Discover Health for me as a post part
Speaker 5: of mom. So I was like, I have to do
Speaker 5: this and so having those children too, I had two
Speaker 5: home births. I think I just felt kind of invincible,
Speaker 5: you know, and I was like, I.
Speaker 4: Can do anything.
Speaker 5: Yes, back to that, Yeah, So I felt invincible and
Speaker 5: I was like, it's an hour and never. It's on
Speaker 5: my heart. I don't feel well in my body. I
Speaker 5: know that I'm not aligned, and so I just have
Speaker 5: to keep pushing forward and do this even though it's
Speaker 5: never been done and nobody else is doing it, but
Speaker 5: here we go. It's now or never. So when I
Speaker 5: got the email to record today, I was really just
Speaker 5: like I started. I was like, thank you God, Like,
Speaker 5: thank you God, this is I feel aligned. So looking
Speaker 5: back over this last year, I definitely feel like I
Speaker 5: am walking in alignment and I know that I'm on
Speaker 5: the right path just because little signs like this, So.
Speaker 2: God not that's what we like to call God.
Speaker 5: I love God.
Speaker 4: Really. That resonates with me so much because that's exactly
Speaker 4: when I started my business a couple of years ago.
Speaker 4: Tiffany was at the beginning of that, like scraping me
Speaker 4: off the floor of my panic attack moment and you know,
Speaker 4: helping and supporting me on that path. And I believe
Speaker 4: in that so's it's these little signs that your voice
Speaker 4: is needed, that it's that you're and I can just see,
Speaker 4: just like when I talk about negotiating, I see that
Speaker 4: sparkle in you, and I'm just I'm so excited that
Speaker 4: you took that lead.
Speaker 2: Deep thank you.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it doesn't when you have kids and you can
Speaker 4: manage your own schedule.
Speaker 2: Yeah you would.
Speaker 5: I feel like I'm working harder now than I did before.
Speaker 2: Yeah you are.
Speaker 5: I'm like, what a sleep?
Speaker 4: That's okay, we can work on that. That.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's it. I mean, it's a lot, especially in
Speaker 3: the beginning, you know, like.
Speaker 4: It's your Beyonce era like Tiffany's.
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, sometimes that's just what it looks like. But
Speaker 3: it's still there's a freedom that cannot be replaced or
Speaker 3: mimicked in you know, working for someone else. There's nothing
Speaker 3: wrong working for someone else. So certainly when out shading next,
Speaker 3: I love when I top three school, But there is
Speaker 3: a level of like and freedom within within the within reason,
Speaker 3: meaning like you know, like what you can make, you know,
Speaker 3: there's really no cap on it, and certainly you know
Speaker 3: you have some choice over schedule, although in the beginning
Speaker 3: it won't feel like that, which is that's just how
Speaker 3: it goes for the most people in the beginning. But yeah, no,
Speaker 3: I just love that, like look at us three brown girls,
Speaker 3: three business brown girls just out here.
Speaker 2: You know, you know it's a love fest.
Speaker 4: That it's Yeah, yes, it is.
Speaker 3: Possible no matter what it is because look at Mandy
Speaker 3: negotiating queen. We have Jenna Vova queen. I love that
Speaker 3: Big health a big health queen, right, and then me
Speaker 3: personal finance queen. So it's just it is possible. Hopefully
Speaker 3: you know those you listen can see yourselves and our journeys.
Speaker 3: But you know, Jenna, we really want to thank you
Speaker 3: for coming. This was awesome songs.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that.
Speaker 3: So if people want to find you, even if they
Speaker 3: don't live in DC, I know you have very helpful website.
Speaker 3: Share again where they can find you on social and
Speaker 3: your site and how they can keep they can keep connecting.
Speaker 5: Yes, definitely follow me on Instagram, Facebook, Discover her Health
Speaker 5: d I S c O v h e R Health.
Speaker 5: The website is the same discover her health dot com.
Speaker 5: We have lots of posts and resources working on some
Speaker 5: courses and yeah, follow me there for all of the updates.
Speaker 5: And I'm excited to give the girls what they deserve.
Speaker 4: If there's one key thing I'll take away from our convo, Jenna,
Speaker 4: it's like I thought I was advocating for myself by
Speaker 4: asking about my issue, But the real challenge is when
Speaker 4: they give you a simple answer and pat you on
Speaker 4: the head coming back after that, and it's like holding
Speaker 4: yourself accountable to go back and be the squeaky wheel,
Speaker 4: which even I still struggle with. I can do it
Speaker 4: when it comes down to negotiating money, but you know,
Speaker 4: I just can't find the same passion for my bladder
Speaker 4: and my wulva, but I should.
Speaker 5: You need an advocate, and I'm happy to be that
Speaker 5: for you.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and to actually and recognize that they don't know
Speaker 4: the answer, but make them give me a referral or
Speaker 4: make them, you know, point them and to your point,
Speaker 4: if we ask those questions, it'll put the pressure on
Speaker 4: them to find answers, you know. So thank you so
Speaker 4: much for sharing. This is a perfect day to This
Speaker 4: is the perfect way to self right valentime. Hell yeah,
Speaker 4: it's about our sexual health and our you know, loving
Speaker 4: ourselves and taking care of our bodies, like the essential part.
Speaker 4: So this was perfect.
Speaker 5: This is so wonderful. I'm so happy that you guys
Speaker 5: had me.
Speaker 1: Hey ba fam, we could not do this show without
Speaker 1: your supports or the support of our team behind the scenes.
Speaker 4: The Brown Ambission podcast is produced by Cumulus Podcast Network.
Speaker 1: It's edited by the wonderful Imani Crosby and produced by
Speaker 1: Tanya Bustos. Dennis Stimplinsky is our in house tech curu,
Speaker 1: and I am Bandy Wichard Santos, your co host, and
Speaker 1: I will see y'all next week.