WEBVTT - Ep 346: V-Day. V is for Vulva ft. Nurse Jenna Rae 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:04.840 Hey, ba fam, it's Mandy Money here aka Mandra. Listen, y'all, 0:00:04.880 --> 0:00:07.200 I want this to be the year when you finally 0:00:07.440 --> 0:00:10.080 learn how to be the badass negotiator that you have 0:00:10.240 --> 0:00:13.040 always wanted to be. Whether you are plucking up your 0:00:13.080 --> 0:00:15.240 courage and trying to ask for a raise where you 0:00:15.280 --> 0:00:18.759 currently work, or you are ready to negotiate a damn good, 0:00:18.840 --> 0:00:22.320 juicy offer from a new job, I am here for you. 0:00:22.400 --> 0:00:26.360 I have got a five step signature salary negotiation strategy 0:00:26.720 --> 0:00:29.920 that I only teach in my free virtual Nail Your 0:00:29.960 --> 0:00:33.559 Negotiation Masterclass. I've got one coming up in just a 0:00:33.560 --> 0:00:36.559 couple of weeks. You can sign up and save your 0:00:36.600 --> 0:00:41.360 spot at Nail your Negotiation dot Com. That's Nail your 0:00:41.520 --> 0:00:44.640 Negotiation dot Com. I can't wait to see y'all there. 0:00:50.920 --> 0:00:58.000 Hey, hey, Hey, we're back. We're black. We're extra extra brown. 0:00:57.840 --> 0:01:02.120 Today because we have a guess ambition ambis ambition, ambis 0:01:02.320 --> 0:01:03.360 ambission ambition. 0:01:03.680 --> 0:01:07.119 Hey Manra, how are you triple the chocolate today? I'm 0:01:07.200 --> 0:01:09.720 doing well, my Valentine? How are you gorgeous? 0:01:10.120 --> 0:01:10.640 I'm good. 0:01:10.840 --> 0:01:13.160 You look so cute with your with your on your 0:01:13.319 --> 0:01:17.440 on your chesticle, well, you know, on my chesticle. Yeah, 0:01:17.520 --> 0:01:19.560 you know I have I have a child now, so 0:01:19.720 --> 0:01:22.320 I don't have a choice. I have to go down 0:01:22.360 --> 0:01:25.800 the Valentine aisle at grocery stores and pack his little 0:01:25.880 --> 0:01:28.400 Valentines for all his little friends who will not remember 0:01:28.400 --> 0:01:30.399 this because they're three years old. So why do I 0:01:30.440 --> 0:01:35.760 have to make fourteen Valentine's goodie bags? But anyway, I'm good. 0:01:35.760 --> 0:01:39.160 I celebrated Valentine's Day by going to hear my baby's 0:01:39.160 --> 0:01:42.600 heartbeat this morning. I went to the to the guy no, 0:01:43.720 --> 0:01:45.520 and I thought like, oh, yeah, I'm gonna wear I'm 0:01:45.520 --> 0:01:47.320 gonna rock the heart sweat, you know, the big heart 0:01:47.319 --> 0:01:49.080 sweater and go in and just be a little extra. 0:01:49.840 --> 0:01:52.400 The girls in the Obe office were not feeling the 0:01:52.520 --> 0:01:55.840 Valentine's vibes today. I was like, people gone through some 0:01:55.920 --> 0:02:00.400 bad breakups or what? Yeah, happy to be happy to 0:02:00.440 --> 0:02:01.920 be with you. How's your v Day going? How you 0:02:02.000 --> 0:02:02.680 doing good? 0:02:02.760 --> 0:02:04.520 Honestly, a lot of people reached out because you know, 0:02:04.560 --> 0:02:06.640 it's the day of love. And the truth is, I'm not. 0:02:06.840 --> 0:02:09.040 I was never all that super sentimental. I mean, Jarelle 0:02:09.160 --> 0:02:12.400 was definitely the super sentimental, so I would have woke up. 0:02:12.360 --> 0:02:13.080 To all the ones. 0:02:14.000 --> 0:02:17.320 I mean I was like, you're the lady. 0:02:18.000 --> 0:02:19.919 I would up to all the things, and it's always 0:02:19.960 --> 0:02:21.600 one in a couple, it's all yeah. 0:02:21.880 --> 0:02:22.799 And so that was him. 0:02:22.840 --> 0:02:26.880 But honestly, because I wasn't you know, I always appreciate it, 0:02:26.880 --> 0:02:29.959 obviously the effort, but not necessarily didn't need the things, 0:02:30.000 --> 0:02:32.600 and so I don't know. I actually feel okay today. 0:02:32.600 --> 0:02:34.480 I don't feel if I you know, if my sister 0:02:34.520 --> 0:02:35.959 hadn't told me, I wouldn't have known. I'm not really 0:02:36.440 --> 0:02:38.600 heavy on social today, so I probably won't see all 0:02:38.600 --> 0:02:40.720 the posts and things. But my friend Mark and his 0:02:40.760 --> 0:02:43.840 wife actually sent me chocolates and a car, which I 0:02:43.840 --> 0:02:46.080 thought it was so nice. But being marked, being marked, 0:02:46.200 --> 0:02:48.160 it was like happy, happy Valentine's Day. 0:02:48.240 --> 0:02:48.560 Monkey. 0:02:48.600 --> 0:02:51.720 I was like, you know what, if you knew my 0:02:51.760 --> 0:02:55.520 friend Mark is not white. Yes, if you knew my 0:02:55.560 --> 0:02:57.480 friend Mark, you would know that that is something that 0:02:57.520 --> 0:03:00.720 he'd be like, I said, tivity buggy guard. 0:03:00.720 --> 0:03:04.000 I'm like, you know, a market. But it was really sweet. 0:03:04.000 --> 0:03:05.880 I was like, oh so sweet. 0:03:06.040 --> 0:03:06.280 Yeah. 0:03:06.320 --> 0:03:08.440 Well, Enrique tried to sneak out husband tried to sneak 0:03:08.440 --> 0:03:10.079 out the house last night at ten thirty, talking about 0:03:10.080 --> 0:03:12.120 I need to go to the store. I said, and 0:03:12.160 --> 0:03:15.040 I literally was like, Babe, go to sleep. Like I'm 0:03:15.080 --> 0:03:17.480 already mad at you because you didn't appreciate the breakfast 0:03:17.560 --> 0:03:19.800 that I made for you because you were in a rush. 0:03:19.840 --> 0:03:22.280 So like, just go to sleep and tomorrow just be 0:03:22.600 --> 0:03:26.079 you know, nice. That's the stage that I'm at in 0:03:26.120 --> 0:03:29.160 my marriage and relationships. Like, don't I'd rather. 0:03:29.480 --> 0:03:33.160 Speaking of Valentine's Day and the Jay Jay? Wait, do 0:03:33.240 --> 0:03:34.320 we just make that transition? 0:03:35.040 --> 0:03:37.280 It's a different Hey, it's V Day on Brown ambition, 0:03:37.400 --> 0:03:38.800 but not the time might Oh. 0:03:38.760 --> 0:03:41.480 Yes, you know that's a good title for your moani 0:03:41.680 --> 0:03:46.000 o our producer V Day, you know, via the Vagina 0:03:46.400 --> 0:03:49.600 V provo exactly. So we've got an also awesome guest today. 0:03:50.000 --> 0:03:53.200 Her name is Jenna Jenna Perkins. She is a g 0:03:53.440 --> 0:03:57.280 y N and a sexual help specialist. She specifically serves 0:03:57.320 --> 0:03:59.960 the Washington, DC, Maryland and Virginia area, also know as 0:04:00.120 --> 0:04:04.520 the DMV. She's an RN and she's a Board certified 0:04:04.560 --> 0:04:08.560 Women's Health and Gender Related Nurse practitioner. She's originally from 0:04:08.680 --> 0:04:12.240 the d AS in Detroit, Michigan, Okay, Jenna. She completed 0:04:12.280 --> 0:04:14.800 her undergraduate studies and Masters in Women's Health at the 0:04:14.880 --> 0:04:16.040 University of Pennsylvania. 0:04:16.720 --> 0:04:19.720 That's called Ivy League in their school of nursing. 0:04:20.240 --> 0:04:23.080 Her career as a nurse practitioner launched in a busy 0:04:23.120 --> 0:04:26.800 down in a busy downtown DC office, where she became 0:04:26.880 --> 0:04:29.479 an expert in urology, which is how I met her 0:04:30.200 --> 0:04:34.479 sexual health and pelvic floor disorders. She specializes in complex 0:04:34.560 --> 0:04:39.599 patient and complex patients and offers a holistic approach to care. 0:04:40.080 --> 0:04:42.840 So I just wanted to like, so how I met Jenna. 0:04:42.920 --> 0:04:44.360 This is just like kind of like our certain time 0:04:44.440 --> 0:04:48.080 kind of meeting because on one of my employees, we 0:04:48.080 --> 0:04:50.719 would always joke that like, girl, you know your coffee sneeze, 0:04:50.760 --> 0:04:54.200 you're like whip, They're God mondies, you know. Like I've 0:04:54.240 --> 0:04:58.159 always been a like there's never a time that I 0:04:58.160 --> 0:04:59.839 can't give you a urine sample. 0:05:00.160 --> 0:05:00.400 Never. 0:05:00.680 --> 0:05:02.200 I don't know if I just gave you one, I'm 0:05:02.240 --> 0:05:06.960 always ready. So I knew that it wasn't normal. Remember 0:05:06.960 --> 0:05:08.680 that time, Mandy, when we both had like COVID and 0:05:08.720 --> 0:05:10.160 we were coughing and we both were like, I know 0:05:10.200 --> 0:05:12.720 you're in a pad and not for not for your period. 0:05:13.560 --> 0:05:17.120 Listen, can I just full disclosure because I am pregnant 0:05:17.120 --> 0:05:21.599 now and rio eft up everything down there. My first 0:05:21.640 --> 0:05:24.440 he just came out swinging and it has not been 0:05:24.480 --> 0:05:26.760 the same. And I was shocked to hear Tiffany you 0:05:26.800 --> 0:05:29.400 have that problem too, because I thought, damn, I just 0:05:29.440 --> 0:05:31.719 went not this child, their friend, you know, done something, 0:05:31.720 --> 0:05:34.080 you know, like it wouldn't be the issue, but it's. 0:05:33.880 --> 0:05:36.520 Something we need to So I want to Jenda to 0:05:36.520 --> 0:05:38.680 come because honestly, I peed the bed till I was ten. 0:05:38.960 --> 0:05:41.800 I've always had a really hard time holding it, and 0:05:41.839 --> 0:05:44.120 so I wanted, you know, Jenna to come on to 0:05:44.200 --> 0:05:46.080 kind of chat with us about not just that but 0:05:46.200 --> 0:05:49.359 just like vulv of health overall. So Jenna, welcome to 0:05:49.400 --> 0:05:51.040 BA BA the Bride Ambition. 0:05:51.600 --> 0:05:55.240 I'm so excited to be here. Guys like I am ecstatic. 0:05:55.480 --> 0:05:57.440 And first of all, thank you for being so vulnerable 0:05:57.480 --> 0:05:59.480 and opening it up because both of you have in 0:05:59.600 --> 0:06:02.760 these experiences and sharing it with your audience. That's going 0:06:02.800 --> 0:06:05.720 to give so many women permission to say, hey, I 0:06:05.800 --> 0:06:08.080 heard that this is not normal, or I know that 0:06:08.160 --> 0:06:10.400 I'm not alone. You know there are other women that 0:06:10.600 --> 0:06:13.359 maybe have not had kids that are suffering. Right because 0:06:13.400 --> 0:06:18.640 we give ourselves these reasons, why right, this is happening 0:06:18.720 --> 0:06:21.800 to me? Because and therefore I don't deserve or should 0:06:21.839 --> 0:06:25.159 not explore options to make it better. It's because I 0:06:25.200 --> 0:06:28.560 had a baby, It's because you know, I'm stressed, or whatever. 0:06:28.640 --> 0:06:30.760 The reason is. There is hope for you, and there 0:06:30.760 --> 0:06:32.920 are solutions out there. So I'm so excited to get 0:06:32.920 --> 0:06:34.279 into it. I'm excited. Yeah. 0:06:34.520 --> 0:06:36.640 Well, can you just answer me this, Jenna? Why do 0:06:36.760 --> 0:06:42.919 I p on myself like I have not had a baby. 0:06:42.760 --> 0:06:44.880 Because you said something you asked me about, like where 0:06:44.880 --> 0:06:47.360 I held stress or whatever. So many just listen, this 0:06:47.440 --> 0:06:49.760 was so like I never thought about that. So yes, 0:06:49.800 --> 0:06:52.159 can you share why potentially someone who has not had 0:06:52.240 --> 0:06:55.760 children pushed the baby out might have a hard time 0:06:55.880 --> 0:06:57.480 holding when they have to pay. 0:06:58.080 --> 0:07:01.160 Yes, So I just have to give my disclaimer. I'm 0:07:01.200 --> 0:07:03.520 a nurse, but I'm not your nurse unless you come 0:07:03.600 --> 0:07:06.760 see me at Discover her Health in the DC area. 0:07:07.480 --> 0:07:09.280 So I can't give medical advice, but I can give 0:07:09.279 --> 0:07:11.840 some general kind of recommendations because just like you tip, 0:07:11.920 --> 0:07:15.480 I love to teach. I consider myself an educator Discover 0:07:15.520 --> 0:07:18.240 her Health. The her is healthcare, education and resources, So 0:07:18.360 --> 0:07:20.720 education is you know, my middle name as far as 0:07:20.760 --> 0:07:24.160 my business. But all of that to say just because 0:07:24.200 --> 0:07:26.640 you have not had some sort of trauma like a birth, 0:07:26.880 --> 0:07:29.800 does not mean that your muscles that are in charge 0:07:29.800 --> 0:07:32.920 of the bladder are not overworked, overtired, you know, not 0:07:33.040 --> 0:07:38.280 working properly, and so oftentimes, especially in women who are ambitious, 0:07:38.360 --> 0:07:42.200 you know, type A personalities, we hold our stress in 0:07:42.240 --> 0:07:45.000 our bodies. And so I can see from a mile 0:07:45.040 --> 0:07:47.200 away the lawyer walking down the street, just by the 0:07:47.200 --> 0:07:49.760 way that she walks, you know, And I think the 0:07:49.840 --> 0:07:52.560 question that I asked you was, what's your jaw like? 0:07:52.720 --> 0:07:55.280 You know, what are your teeth like? Do you gnaw 0:07:55.320 --> 0:07:58.040 your teeth at night? Because so many of my clients 0:07:58.040 --> 0:08:01.760 have had extensive dental work, and nobody when they are 0:08:01.800 --> 0:08:04.160 in the dental chair is thinking about their vaginas or 0:08:04.160 --> 0:08:06.800 their vulvas or their bladder. But it's all connected. You're 0:08:06.840 --> 0:08:09.320 one big zipper. So if you're stressed and you're tight 0:08:09.440 --> 0:08:11.680 in your jaw, then you're probably stressing and tight in 0:08:11.680 --> 0:08:13.960 your shoulders, and you're probably stressed and tight in your 0:08:14.040 --> 0:08:16.680 butt muscles. And the same thing in the pelvic floor, 0:08:16.920 --> 0:08:19.280 which are the tiny muscles that are in charge of 0:08:19.640 --> 0:08:23.480 so much function. It's in charge of birthing babies, it's 0:08:23.480 --> 0:08:26.160 in charge of sexual function, it's in charge of pooping. 0:08:26.520 --> 0:08:29.440 It allows you to breathe. Your diaphragm is a part 0:08:29.480 --> 0:08:32.280 of your pelvis and your pelvic floor. So literally every 0:08:32.480 --> 0:08:37.600 essential functioning, pooping, breathing, birthing, having sex has something to 0:08:37.679 --> 0:08:41.800 do with the pelvic floor. And so when people are like, oh, 0:08:41.880 --> 0:08:43.880 you do this and this and this and this, and 0:08:43.920 --> 0:08:46.640 how does it all connect, it's because I work with 0:08:46.720 --> 0:08:49.920 that very small area, the pelvic floor, which has so 0:08:50.240 --> 0:08:53.000 much function. And when there is so much function, there's 0:08:53.080 --> 0:08:59.040 room for dysfunction. Right, So yeah, so are stress? Can 0:08:59.280 --> 0:09:02.760 we can pelvic floor? For sure? For sure? 0:09:03.080 --> 0:09:05.960 And so I like say, clinching would be good because't 0:09:06.000 --> 0:09:08.240 Cagel's kind of all about the clinch I'm doing them 0:09:08.320 --> 0:09:10.040 right now. I always forget to do them. 0:09:10.559 --> 0:09:13.840 If you take anything away from this conversation is to 0:09:13.880 --> 0:09:15.600 stop doing the keegels. 0:09:16.320 --> 0:09:20.319 Oh my god, thank you? Wait why because my literally 0:09:20.400 --> 0:09:23.200 that's what I have been So I've been sick for 0:09:23.240 --> 0:09:27.640 so long and the chronic coughing, Tiffany, It's not paths 0:09:27.640 --> 0:09:30.840 anymore for me. It's full on going to the disposable 0:09:30.960 --> 0:09:34.520 underwear section of CBS. Although I'm not gonna lie I don't. 0:09:34.559 --> 0:09:37.240 I dore dash it so I don't have to because 0:09:37.280 --> 0:09:40.840 it's so frustrating, like change anyway, and my and I 0:09:40.840 --> 0:09:43.960 have gone to my my OB, my my prenatal you know, 0:09:44.120 --> 0:09:47.360 doctors and like that. She's just like cagels, you know, 0:09:47.600 --> 0:09:50.400 or once the baby's out, it'll be better, but tell 0:09:50.440 --> 0:09:51.240 me please. 0:09:51.280 --> 0:09:53.440 So first of all, she has ten minutes with you. 0:09:53.520 --> 0:09:57.960 That's all that she can really literally because insurance write 0:09:58.000 --> 0:10:01.000 her insurance or your insurance is like in order for 0:10:01.040 --> 0:10:03.400 her to be profitable, she has to see fifteen twenty 0:10:03.400 --> 0:10:04.760 people a day in order. 0:10:04.559 --> 0:10:07.600 To different ob every week. Yeah, I don't ever know 0:10:08.000 --> 0:10:10.760 who my OB is. I'm like, I just see someone. 0:10:10.520 --> 0:10:14.680 Different, right, And so to have an intimate conversation about 0:10:14.720 --> 0:10:17.439 something like this write something that's so learning, bro. Most 0:10:17.480 --> 0:10:19.880 people don't even want to bring it up to their providers, right, 0:10:20.160 --> 0:10:22.959 And so that makes it so that obgyns and other 0:10:23.040 --> 0:10:25.360 providers they don't have to think about it. They're like, 0:10:25.559 --> 0:10:27.480 most people are not asking me about it anyway. And 0:10:27.520 --> 0:10:29.920 it happens to so many women that I can just 0:10:30.040 --> 0:10:32.320 you know, brush them off. And if it's still happening 0:10:32.320 --> 0:10:34.960 post pregnancy, then we can have a conversation because I 0:10:35.040 --> 0:10:37.839 don't have time. I gotta go. I got five people 0:10:37.840 --> 0:10:40.880 waiting on me, you know, and they're dealing with serious things. 0:10:40.920 --> 0:10:42.720 You know, they got a pregnancy loss, they got someone 0:10:42.800 --> 0:10:46.800 with pre ecclansia, you know, like they are like urinary leakage. 0:10:46.800 --> 0:10:48.960 I don't have time for you know, you're fine? Are 0:10:49.000 --> 0:10:51.400 you dying? No? Okay, good, My hand's on the door. 0:10:51.480 --> 0:10:53.960 I got to leave the room. So and it's not 0:10:54.000 --> 0:10:56.280 because they don't care or because they don't want to 0:10:56.280 --> 0:10:58.720 give you the best service. Is that the medical model 0:10:58.760 --> 0:11:01.440 that we have, they literally are unable to care for 0:11:01.520 --> 0:11:04.320 you in the way that you deserve. So it's we 0:11:04.440 --> 0:11:07.840 have to advocate for ourselves as clients to say, no, listen, 0:11:08.400 --> 0:11:10.360 I need you to take this seriously, and it may 0:11:10.360 --> 0:11:12.440 not be the highest priority on your list, but I 0:11:12.480 --> 0:11:14.600 need you to give you some real direction. And kegels 0:11:14.760 --> 0:11:18.280 are not cutting it. Right. The reason that kegels don't 0:11:18.280 --> 0:11:20.920 cut it is because if you walked around with your 0:11:21.040 --> 0:11:24.559 arm clinched all day, you know, tight, tight, tight, if 0:11:24.559 --> 0:11:26.760 you wanted to pick up a bag or a baby 0:11:26.880 --> 0:11:30.720 or anything else, your range of motion is severely inhibited. Right, 0:11:31.160 --> 0:11:34.360 So you're doing this when you should be doing a 0:11:34.400 --> 0:11:38.199 full on squeeze, right. So that's all muscles. That's how 0:11:38.240 --> 0:11:40.840 all muscles function, and the pelvic floor is not exempt. 0:11:41.000 --> 0:11:43.320 So if your pelvic floor muscles are tight, if you're 0:11:43.320 --> 0:11:47.000 a tight ass, right, and you're walking around at baseline, 0:11:47.480 --> 0:11:50.840 just like clinched up when you go to Cofsnie's left, 0:11:50.880 --> 0:11:53.520 pick up that baby, your muscles don't have nothing left to. 0:11:53.520 --> 0:11:55.520 Give this, you're gonna leak. 0:11:55.640 --> 0:12:00.640 They're weak because they are tight, and so truly strength 0:12:00.720 --> 0:12:05.000 comes from being able to tighten. So at baseline, we're relaxed, 0:12:05.080 --> 0:12:08.240 we're chilling. Here comes to action, so now I know 0:12:08.320 --> 0:12:11.360 I need to tighten to protect right. So that's the 0:12:11.679 --> 0:12:14.160 skinny of it, and why I think that a lot 0:12:14.160 --> 0:12:17.920 of women suffer from incontinent That is worse when you 0:12:17.960 --> 0:12:20.480 do things like he was, because you're steady tightening, right, 0:12:20.480 --> 0:12:23.640 You're tightening, tighten and tightening, and then comes pain, right 0:12:24.240 --> 0:12:26.480 because those muscles are overworked and then they're tired. So 0:12:26.520 --> 0:12:28.200 then you're have an intercourse and you're like, oh, I 0:12:28.200 --> 0:12:30.640 don't like that no more. You know from the back 0:12:30.760 --> 0:12:32.360 used to feel good, but now I can't take it. 0:12:32.400 --> 0:12:35.600 Now I'm running right because those muscles are so tight, 0:12:35.679 --> 0:12:38.480 the same way your shoulders get tight and then someone 0:12:38.520 --> 0:12:40.240 comes up behind you and tries to do a little 0:12:40.240 --> 0:12:44.480 massage and you're like, I don't do that. That hurts, right, Yeah, 0:12:44.559 --> 0:12:45.760 so it's the same thing. 0:12:46.000 --> 0:12:49.000 What can help is out there waits. 0:12:49.000 --> 0:12:52.840 Come see me, Come see me. First of all, I'm jesting, 0:12:52.920 --> 0:12:55.240 but serious ingest. 0:12:55.960 --> 0:12:59.240 I didn't know there were pelvic floor specialist people that 0:12:59.440 --> 0:13:00.440 just are not on that. 0:13:00.760 --> 0:13:02.520 It's not a lot of meat in the world. I 0:13:02.559 --> 0:13:06.160 consider my skills to be unicorn skills because we work 0:13:06.200 --> 0:13:09.800 in silos in the medical system. Right. So traditionally I 0:13:09.840 --> 0:13:12.080 would have come out of school and gone straight to 0:13:12.400 --> 0:13:15.440 an obgyn's office and been caring for women who are 0:13:15.480 --> 0:13:18.480 pregnant or having use infections, right, And I would have 0:13:18.559 --> 0:13:22.120 stayed in that world. But because of my personality, I 0:13:22.240 --> 0:13:25.440 like the complex. I kind of run to If nobody 0:13:25.440 --> 0:13:26.840 else wants to see it, I want to see it. 0:13:27.240 --> 0:13:30.480 So I was very intentional about I want to see 0:13:30.559 --> 0:13:32.880 the women that nobody else wants to see. And so 0:13:33.000 --> 0:13:36.760 that landed me in a urology clinic. Right. Because to 0:13:36.880 --> 0:13:39.760 your point, people don't have time to be hearing about 0:13:39.800 --> 0:13:43.920 you peeing your parents. You know, and I can remember 0:13:43.960 --> 0:13:47.080 being a nursing student and having a client. We had 0:13:47.120 --> 0:13:50.120 to go into the community and we had a client 0:13:50.200 --> 0:13:52.760 or I had a client who her family was going 0:13:52.800 --> 0:13:54.360 to put her in a nursing home because she was 0:13:54.360 --> 0:13:58.760 in continent. It wasn't because just because in Comton, they 0:13:58.840 --> 0:14:01.080 just could not change her her right, they didn't have 0:14:01.200 --> 0:14:05.240 the capacity to be able to, you know, keep tabs 0:14:05.280 --> 0:14:08.360 on her and her diapers, right, And so they were like, well, 0:14:08.360 --> 0:14:10.600 we need help, we need support. It's too expensive to 0:14:10.640 --> 0:14:12.559 have someone coming in just to help her to the 0:14:12.600 --> 0:14:14.280 bathroom or to changer all the time, and we can 0:14:14.480 --> 0:14:16.520 do this, So we're going to put her in a home. 0:14:16.720 --> 0:14:19.000 And that really stuck with me. I really felt like, 0:14:19.400 --> 0:14:22.440 this woman still has some life in her and that's 0:14:22.480 --> 0:14:24.840 been cut short because her family does not have the 0:14:24.840 --> 0:14:27.760 capacity to care for her because of this condition. That 0:14:28.320 --> 0:14:31.200 there has to be treatments out here for So having 0:14:31.240 --> 0:14:33.720 that experience and a lot of other experiences, I was like, Okay, 0:14:33.760 --> 0:14:35.760 I have to be intentional about caring for women that 0:14:35.840 --> 0:14:38.320 need me, the most vulnerable women amongst us. And so 0:14:38.560 --> 0:14:40.800 I started to work in neurology, and so I had 0:14:40.840 --> 0:14:43.360 these gyn skills because I am a women's health and 0:14:43.400 --> 0:14:46.600 gender related nurse practitioner, So I can do the yeast infections, 0:14:46.640 --> 0:14:48.920 I can do the you know, ob care. I can 0:14:48.960 --> 0:14:51.800 do all of that. But now additionally, I can connect 0:14:51.840 --> 0:14:54.560 the dots between the women that are coming in with 0:14:54.680 --> 0:14:58.320 chronic yeast infections and chronic BV and all of these 0:14:58.440 --> 0:15:01.600 urinary tract infections are off so having in continent. Right. 0:15:02.080 --> 0:15:08.200 Oh, and I hadn't thought about urology at all, you know, right, 0:15:08.800 --> 0:15:11.280 And that's and and for people who don't know, that's 0:15:11.360 --> 0:15:14.520 your Yeah, I did just pee a little. Keep that 0:15:14.560 --> 0:15:20.520 in my No, but every time you hear a cough, 0:15:20.680 --> 0:15:22.200 just think rip to my. 0:15:22.360 --> 0:15:28.400 Disposition and therefore to your pocket, because those paths are 0:15:28.440 --> 0:15:29.280 not cheat. 0:15:29.760 --> 0:15:32.440 I'm saying, you know. And my husband brought the wrong 0:15:32.480 --> 0:15:34.160 size the other day and I was trying to squeeze 0:15:34.160 --> 0:15:37.360 my butt into a size medium and I'm like, and 0:15:37.400 --> 0:15:41.640 they're ripping, and I'm like, god, damn it, that's like falst. 0:15:43.040 --> 0:15:43.680 That job. 0:15:44.560 --> 0:15:46.880 That's why this conversation is right on time, because it's right. 0:15:47.000 --> 0:15:48.920 No one really like I mean, you'll see here obviously 0:15:48.960 --> 0:15:50.880 on Brown and Bision, we just talk about everything because 0:15:51.280 --> 0:15:53.960 you know, we're two brown girls now three trying to 0:15:54.040 --> 0:15:57.440 navigate life. And so you know this is something that 0:15:57.520 --> 0:16:00.320 I think not enough women, you know, feel comfortable talking about. 0:16:00.360 --> 0:16:02.880 To your point, you know, no one wants to act 0:16:02.920 --> 0:16:04.720 like something is wrong with their blah blah or something's 0:16:04.720 --> 0:16:08.320 wrong down there because there's so much judgment associated with that. 0:16:08.800 --> 0:16:11.160 So when you're so big, it doesn't seem like you. 0:16:11.400 --> 0:16:14.640 To your point, I'm not dying, and you describe so 0:16:14.760 --> 0:16:20.120 perfectly my experience in my OB's office that they care, 0:16:20.360 --> 0:16:23.880 but like I'm not. There's no like life threatening situation, 0:16:24.040 --> 0:16:25.040 so they scoop me on out. 0:16:25.400 --> 0:16:28.240 Let's pause this vagina chat because we have to go 0:16:28.280 --> 0:16:29.680 to break, you know, pay some bills, and we'll be 0:16:29.760 --> 0:16:33.880 right back. We're back like backshots, you said what I 0:16:33.920 --> 0:16:39.000 did that anyway, back to our conversation back Like what backshots? 0:16:39.240 --> 0:16:40.239 What's a backshot? 0:16:40.760 --> 0:16:44.120 Maybe you don't get a girl. 0:16:43.960 --> 0:16:48.280 That's my favorite position, is that like a sexual yes 0:16:48.400 --> 0:16:49.560 girl just from the back? 0:16:51.000 --> 0:16:55.040 Oh well, you know I don't. I'm not maybe two 0:16:55.080 --> 0:16:58.280 kids my maternity pillow during the act, because that is 0:16:58.320 --> 0:17:00.000 my level. Like there has to be. 0:17:01.160 --> 0:17:04.400 Some supports, like you already take that part out, Like. 0:17:05.760 --> 0:17:09.640 So urology is the care of the bladder. Just Okay, 0:17:09.920 --> 0:17:12.160 so urology is bladder care. So when we think about 0:17:12.160 --> 0:17:15.920 those pelvic floor muscles again, all of that function of peeing, pooping, sex, 0:17:16.000 --> 0:17:19.480 and birthing, the bladder is a part of that. Right. 0:17:19.680 --> 0:17:22.840 And so when we work in these silos, if I 0:17:22.880 --> 0:17:25.560 was only doing guy n are only doing obstetric care 0:17:25.680 --> 0:17:28.720 or only doing bladder health, it's hard to really have 0:17:28.840 --> 0:17:32.399 a holistic view of the whole person in front of 0:17:32.440 --> 0:17:35.159 you because it would have been super easy for me 0:17:35.240 --> 0:17:37.160 to just be like, Okay, well all of these women 0:17:37.200 --> 0:17:39.080 have overactive bladder, so now I'm going to give them 0:17:39.080 --> 0:17:41.320 these medications that are going to cause you know, long 0:17:41.440 --> 0:17:44.960 term side effects dry mouth, dry eyes, constipation, which is 0:17:44.960 --> 0:17:48.199 going to worsen their pelvic floor dysfunction. Right, and then 0:17:48.240 --> 0:17:50.640 they'll be back here next year for more refills. Right. 0:17:50.840 --> 0:17:53.200 And then when they turn sixty seventy years old, they're 0:17:53.240 --> 0:17:57.160 having memory loss because these drugs affect the brain. Right. 0:17:57.760 --> 0:18:01.600 So I think I was definitely a afforded the opportunity 0:18:01.760 --> 0:18:05.639 to have all of these skills that seemed like they 0:18:05.680 --> 0:18:08.479 didn't connect, but be able to put the pieces together. 0:18:09.040 --> 0:18:11.280 So and then the sexual health kind of came along 0:18:11.320 --> 0:18:15.040 with it too, because these same women were having vaginal dryness. 0:18:15.200 --> 0:18:16.720 You know, I really used I used to be able 0:18:16.760 --> 0:18:19.239 to have an orgasm in five minutes or less than that. 0:18:19.280 --> 0:18:21.080 Thirty seconds I was having an orgasm. Now I can't 0:18:21.080 --> 0:18:23.919 have an orgasm anymore. Or you know, the women that 0:18:23.920 --> 0:18:26.399 were coming in and saying like, I think I have 0:18:26.480 --> 0:18:29.679 a urinary tract infection, but nobody has been able to 0:18:29.720 --> 0:18:32.960 figure it out, when really it's because those muscles are 0:18:32.960 --> 0:18:38.520 so tight that it's signaling to your brain a pain signal, right, 0:18:38.560 --> 0:18:40.800 and so your brain doesn't know the difference between an 0:18:40.880 --> 0:18:44.199 infection or overact the bladder or tight muscles. It's just 0:18:44.240 --> 0:18:47.080 like go to the bathroom and will feel better because 0:18:47.080 --> 0:18:49.520 we relax when we sit on the toilet. 0:18:49.760 --> 0:18:52.080 I always thought it was like everything was too loosey 0:18:52.080 --> 0:18:55.600 goosey down there, and like envision like having a drawstring 0:18:55.680 --> 0:18:58.280 or just want to like turn yes. So you're kind 0:18:58.320 --> 0:19:01.080 of saying that it's the opposite, right, And you. 0:19:01.040 --> 0:19:03.119 Know it would depend on like we'd have to do 0:19:03.160 --> 0:19:06.480 an exam to see, right. But a lot of that 0:19:06.640 --> 0:19:10.879 tightening comes from if your muscles and if your you know, 0:19:10.960 --> 0:19:14.200 volvo vaginal tissue has not properly healed, then you can 0:19:14.320 --> 0:19:17.879 have overtightening. So both things can't exist where the look 0:19:17.920 --> 0:19:21.040 of your vulva the look of your vagina might look different. 0:19:21.119 --> 0:19:24.000 Things might be literally falling out right, Like your bladder 0:19:24.320 --> 0:19:26.359 can fall out. It's something called prolapse. 0:19:26.880 --> 0:19:28.480 I'm on that side of TikTok right now. 0:19:28.880 --> 0:19:29.359 Mm hmmm. 0:19:29.880 --> 0:19:32.119 I thought, yes, someone one was like I was peeing 0:19:32.119 --> 0:19:33.440 and then my bladder was in my hand. 0:19:33.720 --> 0:19:38.600 Oh, and you're like, what is this? You know, I've 0:19:38.600 --> 0:19:40.399 had patients coming in like Jenna, I think I have 0:19:40.440 --> 0:19:42.119 a penis, Like I look down there and I had 0:19:42.119 --> 0:19:46.000 a penis coming out, And what she's seeing is her cervix. Right, 0:19:46.400 --> 0:19:49.240