1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:04,840 Speaker 1: Hey, ba fam, it's Mandy Money here aka Mandra. Listen, y'all, 2 00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:07,200 Speaker 1: I want this to be the year when you finally 3 00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:10,080 Speaker 1: learn how to be the badass negotiator that you have 4 00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:13,040 Speaker 1: always wanted to be. Whether you are plucking up your 5 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:15,240 Speaker 1: courage and trying to ask for a raise where you 6 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:18,759 Speaker 1: currently work, or you are ready to negotiate a damn good, 7 00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:22,320 Speaker 1: juicy offer from a new job, I am here for you. 8 00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:26,360 Speaker 1: I have got a five step signature salary negotiation strategy 9 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:29,920 Speaker 1: that I only teach in my free virtual Nail Your 10 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:33,559 Speaker 1: Negotiation Masterclass. I've got one coming up in just a 11 00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:36,559 Speaker 1: couple of weeks. You can sign up and save your 12 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:41,360 Speaker 1: spot at Nail your Negotiation dot Com. That's Nail your 13 00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:44,640 Speaker 1: Negotiation dot Com. I can't wait to see y'all there. 14 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:58,000 Speaker 2: Hey, hey, Hey, we're back. We're black. We're extra extra brown. 15 00:00:57,840 --> 00:01:02,120 Speaker 3: Today because we have a guess ambition ambis ambition, ambis 16 00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:03,360 Speaker 3: ambission ambition. 17 00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:07,119 Speaker 4: Hey Manra, how are you triple the chocolate today? I'm 18 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:09,720 Speaker 4: doing well, my Valentine? How are you gorgeous? 19 00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:10,640 Speaker 2: I'm good. 20 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:13,160 Speaker 4: You look so cute with your with your on your 21 00:01:13,319 --> 00:01:17,440 Speaker 4: on your chesticle, well, you know, on my chesticle. Yeah, 22 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:19,560 Speaker 4: you know I have I have a child now, so 23 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:22,320 Speaker 4: I don't have a choice. I have to go down 24 00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:25,800 Speaker 4: the Valentine aisle at grocery stores and pack his little 25 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:28,400 Speaker 4: Valentines for all his little friends who will not remember 26 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:30,399 Speaker 4: this because they're three years old. So why do I 27 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:35,760 Speaker 4: have to make fourteen Valentine's goodie bags? But anyway, I'm good. 28 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:39,160 Speaker 4: I celebrated Valentine's Day by going to hear my baby's 29 00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:42,600 Speaker 4: heartbeat this morning. I went to the to the guy no, 30 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:45,520 Speaker 4: and I thought like, oh, yeah, I'm gonna wear I'm 31 00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:47,320 Speaker 4: gonna rock the heart sweat, you know, the big heart 32 00:01:47,319 --> 00:01:49,080 Speaker 4: sweater and go in and just be a little extra. 33 00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:52,400 Speaker 4: The girls in the Obe office were not feeling the 34 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:55,840 Speaker 4: Valentine's vibes today. I was like, people gone through some 35 00:01:55,920 --> 00:02:00,400 Speaker 4: bad breakups or what? Yeah, happy to be happy to 36 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:01,920 Speaker 4: be with you. How's your v Day going? How you 37 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:02,680 Speaker 4: doing good? 38 00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:04,520 Speaker 3: Honestly, a lot of people reached out because you know, 39 00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:06,640 Speaker 3: it's the day of love. And the truth is, I'm not. 40 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:09,040 Speaker 3: I was never all that super sentimental. I mean, Jarelle 41 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:12,400 Speaker 3: was definitely the super sentimental, so I would have woke up. 42 00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:13,080 Speaker 4: To all the ones. 43 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:17,320 Speaker 2: I mean I was like, you're the lady. 44 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:19,919 Speaker 4: I would up to all the things, and it's always 45 00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:21,600 Speaker 4: one in a couple, it's all yeah. 46 00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:22,799 Speaker 2: And so that was him. 47 00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:26,880 Speaker 3: But honestly, because I wasn't you know, I always appreciate it, 48 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:29,959 Speaker 3: obviously the effort, but not necessarily didn't need the things, 49 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,600 Speaker 3: and so I don't know. I actually feel okay today. 50 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:34,480 Speaker 3: I don't feel if I you know, if my sister 51 00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:35,959 Speaker 3: hadn't told me, I wouldn't have known. I'm not really 52 00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:38,600 Speaker 3: heavy on social today, so I probably won't see all 53 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:40,720 Speaker 3: the posts and things. But my friend Mark and his 54 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:43,840 Speaker 3: wife actually sent me chocolates and a car, which I 55 00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:46,080 Speaker 3: thought it was so nice. But being marked, being marked, 56 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,160 Speaker 3: it was like happy, happy Valentine's Day. 57 00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:48,560 Speaker 2: Monkey. 58 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:51,720 Speaker 3: I was like, you know what, if you knew my 59 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:55,520 Speaker 3: friend Mark is not white. Yes, if you knew my 60 00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:57,480 Speaker 3: friend Mark, you would know that that is something that 61 00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:00,720 Speaker 3: he'd be like, I said, tivity buggy guard. 62 00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:04,000 Speaker 2: I'm like, you know, a market. But it was really sweet. 63 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:05,880 Speaker 4: I was like, oh so sweet. 64 00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:06,280 Speaker 2: Yeah. 65 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:08,440 Speaker 4: Well, Enrique tried to sneak out husband tried to sneak 66 00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:10,079 Speaker 4: out the house last night at ten thirty, talking about 67 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:12,120 Speaker 4: I need to go to the store. I said, and 68 00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:15,040 Speaker 4: I literally was like, Babe, go to sleep. Like I'm 69 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:17,480 Speaker 4: already mad at you because you didn't appreciate the breakfast 70 00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:19,800 Speaker 4: that I made for you because you were in a rush. 71 00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:22,280 Speaker 4: So like, just go to sleep and tomorrow just be 72 00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:26,079 Speaker 4: you know, nice. That's the stage that I'm at in 73 00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:29,160 Speaker 4: my marriage and relationships. Like, don't I'd rather. 74 00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:33,160 Speaker 3: Speaking of Valentine's Day and the Jay Jay? Wait, do 75 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:34,320 Speaker 3: we just make that transition? 76 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,280 Speaker 4: It's a different Hey, it's V Day on Brown ambition, 77 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:38,800 Speaker 4: but not the time might Oh. 78 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:41,480 Speaker 3: Yes, you know that's a good title for your moani 79 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:46,000 Speaker 3: o our producer V Day, you know, via the Vagina 80 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:49,600 Speaker 3: V provo exactly. So we've got an also awesome guest today. 81 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:53,200 Speaker 3: Her name is Jenna Jenna Perkins. She is a g 82 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:57,280 Speaker 3: y N and a sexual help specialist. She specifically serves 83 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,960 Speaker 3: the Washington, DC, Maryland and Virginia area, also know as 84 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:04,520 Speaker 3: the DMV. She's an RN and she's a Board certified 85 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:08,560 Speaker 3: Women's Health and Gender Related Nurse practitioner. She's originally from 86 00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:12,240 Speaker 3: the d AS in Detroit, Michigan, Okay, Jenna. She completed 87 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:14,800 Speaker 3: her undergraduate studies and Masters in Women's Health at the 88 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:16,040 Speaker 3: University of Pennsylvania. 89 00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:19,720 Speaker 2: That's called Ivy League in their school of nursing. 90 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:23,080 Speaker 3: Her career as a nurse practitioner launched in a busy 91 00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:26,800 Speaker 3: down in a busy downtown DC office, where she became 92 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:29,479 Speaker 3: an expert in urology, which is how I met her 93 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:34,479 Speaker 3: sexual health and pelvic floor disorders. She specializes in complex 94 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:39,599 Speaker 3: patient and complex patients and offers a holistic approach to care. 95 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:42,840 Speaker 3: So I just wanted to like, so how I met Jenna. 96 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:44,360 Speaker 3: This is just like kind of like our certain time 97 00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:48,080 Speaker 3: kind of meeting because on one of my employees, we 98 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:50,719 Speaker 3: would always joke that like, girl, you know your coffee sneeze, 99 00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:54,200 Speaker 3: you're like whip, They're God mondies, you know. Like I've 100 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:58,159 Speaker 3: always been a like there's never a time that I 101 00:04:58,160 --> 00:04:59,839 Speaker 3: can't give you a urine sample. 102 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:00,400 Speaker 2: Never. 103 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:02,200 Speaker 3: I don't know if I just gave you one, I'm 104 00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:06,960 Speaker 3: always ready. So I knew that it wasn't normal. Remember 105 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:08,680 Speaker 3: that time, Mandy, when we both had like COVID and 106 00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:10,160 Speaker 3: we were coughing and we both were like, I know 107 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:12,720 Speaker 3: you're in a pad and not for not for your period. 108 00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:17,120 Speaker 4: Listen, can I just full disclosure because I am pregnant 109 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:21,599 Speaker 4: now and rio eft up everything down there. My first 110 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:24,440 Speaker 4: he just came out swinging and it has not been 111 00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:26,760 Speaker 4: the same. And I was shocked to hear Tiffany you 112 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:29,400 Speaker 4: have that problem too, because I thought, damn, I just 113 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:31,719 Speaker 4: went not this child, their friend, you know, done something, 114 00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:34,080 Speaker 4: you know, like it wouldn't be the issue, but it's. 115 00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:36,520 Speaker 3: Something we need to So I want to Jenda to 116 00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:38,680 Speaker 3: come because honestly, I peed the bed till I was ten. 117 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:41,800 Speaker 3: I've always had a really hard time holding it, and 118 00:05:41,839 --> 00:05:44,120 Speaker 3: so I wanted, you know, Jenna to come on to 119 00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:46,080 Speaker 3: kind of chat with us about not just that but 120 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:49,359 Speaker 3: just like vulv of health overall. So Jenna, welcome to 121 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:51,040 Speaker 3: BA BA the Bride Ambition. 122 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:55,240 Speaker 5: I'm so excited to be here. Guys like I am ecstatic. 123 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,440 Speaker 5: And first of all, thank you for being so vulnerable 124 00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:59,480 Speaker 5: and opening it up because both of you have in 125 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:02,760 Speaker 5: these experiences and sharing it with your audience. That's going 126 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:05,720 Speaker 5: to give so many women permission to say, hey, I 127 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:08,080 Speaker 5: heard that this is not normal, or I know that 128 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:10,400 Speaker 5: I'm not alone. You know there are other women that 129 00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:13,359 Speaker 5: maybe have not had kids that are suffering. Right because 130 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:18,640 Speaker 5: we give ourselves these reasons, why right, this is happening 131 00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:21,800 Speaker 5: to me? Because and therefore I don't deserve or should 132 00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:25,159 Speaker 5: not explore options to make it better. It's because I 133 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:28,560 Speaker 5: had a baby, It's because you know, I'm stressed, or whatever. 134 00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:30,760 Speaker 5: The reason is. There is hope for you, and there 135 00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:32,920 Speaker 5: are solutions out there. So I'm so excited to get 136 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:34,279 Speaker 5: into it. I'm excited. Yeah. 137 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,640 Speaker 2: Well, can you just answer me this, Jenna? Why do 138 00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:42,919 Speaker 2: I p on myself like I have not had a baby. 139 00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:44,880 Speaker 3: Because you said something you asked me about, like where 140 00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:47,360 Speaker 3: I held stress or whatever. So many just listen, this 141 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:49,760 Speaker 3: was so like I never thought about that. So yes, 142 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:52,159 Speaker 3: can you share why potentially someone who has not had 143 00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:55,760 Speaker 3: children pushed the baby out might have a hard time 144 00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:57,480 Speaker 3: holding when they have to pay. 145 00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:01,160 Speaker 5: Yes, So I just have to give my disclaimer. I'm 146 00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:03,520 Speaker 5: a nurse, but I'm not your nurse unless you come 147 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:06,760 Speaker 5: see me at Discover her Health in the DC area. 148 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:09,280 Speaker 5: So I can't give medical advice, but I can give 149 00:07:09,279 --> 00:07:11,840 Speaker 5: some general kind of recommendations because just like you tip, 150 00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:15,480 Speaker 5: I love to teach. I consider myself an educator Discover 151 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:18,240 Speaker 5: her Health. The her is healthcare, education and resources, So 152 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:20,720 Speaker 5: education is you know, my middle name as far as 153 00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:24,160 Speaker 5: my business. But all of that to say just because 154 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:26,640 Speaker 5: you have not had some sort of trauma like a birth, 155 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:29,800 Speaker 5: does not mean that your muscles that are in charge 156 00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:32,920 Speaker 5: of the bladder are not overworked, overtired, you know, not 157 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:38,280 Speaker 5: working properly, and so oftentimes, especially in women who are ambitious, 158 00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:42,200 Speaker 5: you know, type A personalities, we hold our stress in 159 00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:45,000 Speaker 5: our bodies. And so I can see from a mile 160 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:47,200 Speaker 5: away the lawyer walking down the street, just by the 161 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,760 Speaker 5: way that she walks, you know, And I think the 162 00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:52,560 Speaker 5: question that I asked you was, what's your jaw like? 163 00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:55,280 Speaker 5: You know, what are your teeth like? Do you gnaw 164 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:58,040 Speaker 5: your teeth at night? Because so many of my clients 165 00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:01,760 Speaker 5: have had extensive dental work, and nobody when they are 166 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:04,160 Speaker 5: in the dental chair is thinking about their vaginas or 167 00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:06,800 Speaker 5: their vulvas or their bladder. But it's all connected. You're 168 00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:09,320 Speaker 5: one big zipper. So if you're stressed and you're tight 169 00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:11,680 Speaker 5: in your jaw, then you're probably stressing and tight in 170 00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:13,960 Speaker 5: your shoulders, and you're probably stressed and tight in your 171 00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:16,680 Speaker 5: butt muscles. And the same thing in the pelvic floor, 172 00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:19,280 Speaker 5: which are the tiny muscles that are in charge of 173 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:23,480 Speaker 5: so much function. It's in charge of birthing babies, it's 174 00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:26,160 Speaker 5: in charge of sexual function, it's in charge of pooping. 175 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:29,440 Speaker 5: It allows you to breathe. Your diaphragm is a part 176 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:32,280 Speaker 5: of your pelvis and your pelvic floor. So literally every 177 00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:37,600 Speaker 5: essential functioning, pooping, breathing, birthing, having sex has something to 178 00:08:37,679 --> 00:08:41,800 Speaker 5: do with the pelvic floor. And so when people are like, oh, 179 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:43,880 Speaker 5: you do this and this and this and this, and 180 00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:46,640 Speaker 5: how does it all connect, it's because I work with 181 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:49,920 Speaker 5: that very small area, the pelvic floor, which has so 182 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:53,000 Speaker 5: much function. And when there is so much function, there's 183 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:59,040 Speaker 5: room for dysfunction. Right, So yeah, so are stress? Can 184 00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:02,760 Speaker 5: we can pelvic floor? For sure? For sure? 185 00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:05,960 Speaker 4: And so I like say, clinching would be good because't 186 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,240 Speaker 4: Cagel's kind of all about the clinch I'm doing them 187 00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:10,040 Speaker 4: right now. I always forget to do them. 188 00:09:10,559 --> 00:09:13,840 Speaker 5: If you take anything away from this conversation is to 189 00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:15,600 Speaker 5: stop doing the keegels. 190 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:20,319 Speaker 4: Oh my god, thank you? Wait why because my literally 191 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:23,200 Speaker 4: that's what I have been So I've been sick for 192 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:27,640 Speaker 4: so long and the chronic coughing, Tiffany, It's not paths 193 00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:30,840 Speaker 4: anymore for me. It's full on going to the disposable 194 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:34,520 Speaker 4: underwear section of CBS. Although I'm not gonna lie I don't. 195 00:09:34,559 --> 00:09:37,240 Speaker 4: I dore dash it so I don't have to because 196 00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:40,840 Speaker 4: it's so frustrating, like change anyway, and my and I 197 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:43,960 Speaker 4: have gone to my my OB, my my prenatal you know, 198 00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:47,360 Speaker 4: doctors and like that. She's just like cagels, you know, 199 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:50,400 Speaker 4: or once the baby's out, it'll be better, but tell 200 00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:51,240 Speaker 4: me please. 201 00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:53,440 Speaker 5: So first of all, she has ten minutes with you. 202 00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:57,960 Speaker 5: That's all that she can really literally because insurance write 203 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:01,000 Speaker 5: her insurance or your insurance is like in order for 204 00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:03,400 Speaker 5: her to be profitable, she has to see fifteen twenty 205 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:04,760 Speaker 5: people a day in order. 206 00:10:04,559 --> 00:10:07,600 Speaker 4: To different ob every week. Yeah, I don't ever know 207 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,760 Speaker 4: who my OB is. I'm like, I just see someone. 208 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:14,680 Speaker 5: Different, right, And so to have an intimate conversation about 209 00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:17,439 Speaker 5: something like this write something that's so learning, bro. Most 210 00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:19,880 Speaker 5: people don't even want to bring it up to their providers, right, 211 00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:22,959 Speaker 5: And so that makes it so that obgyns and other 212 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,360 Speaker 5: providers they don't have to think about it. They're like, 213 00:10:25,559 --> 00:10:27,480 Speaker 5: most people are not asking me about it anyway. And 214 00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:29,920 Speaker 5: it happens to so many women that I can just 215 00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:32,320 Speaker 5: you know, brush them off. And if it's still happening 216 00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:34,960 Speaker 5: post pregnancy, then we can have a conversation because I 217 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:37,839 Speaker 5: don't have time. I gotta go. I got five people 218 00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:40,880 Speaker 5: waiting on me, you know, and they're dealing with serious things. 219 00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:42,720 Speaker 5: You know, they got a pregnancy loss, they got someone 220 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:46,800 Speaker 5: with pre ecclansia, you know, like they are like urinary leakage. 221 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:48,960 Speaker 5: I don't have time for you know, you're fine? Are 222 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,400 Speaker 5: you dying? No? Okay, good, My hand's on the door. 223 00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:53,960 Speaker 5: I got to leave the room. So and it's not 224 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,280 Speaker 5: because they don't care or because they don't want to 225 00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:58,720 Speaker 5: give you the best service. Is that the medical model 226 00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:01,440 Speaker 5: that we have, they literally are unable to care for 227 00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:04,320 Speaker 5: you in the way that you deserve. So it's we 228 00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:07,840 Speaker 5: have to advocate for ourselves as clients to say, no, listen, 229 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:10,360 Speaker 5: I need you to take this seriously, and it may 230 00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:12,440 Speaker 5: not be the highest priority on your list, but I 231 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:14,600 Speaker 5: need you to give you some real direction. And kegels 232 00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:18,280 Speaker 5: are not cutting it. Right. The reason that kegels don't 233 00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:20,920 Speaker 5: cut it is because if you walked around with your 234 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:24,559 Speaker 5: arm clinched all day, you know, tight, tight, tight, if 235 00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:26,760 Speaker 5: you wanted to pick up a bag or a baby 236 00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:30,720 Speaker 5: or anything else, your range of motion is severely inhibited. Right, 237 00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:34,360 Speaker 5: So you're doing this when you should be doing a 238 00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:38,199 Speaker 5: full on squeeze, right. So that's all muscles. That's how 239 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:40,840 Speaker 5: all muscles function, and the pelvic floor is not exempt. 240 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,320 Speaker 5: So if your pelvic floor muscles are tight, if you're 241 00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:47,000 Speaker 5: a tight ass, right, and you're walking around at baseline, 242 00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:50,840 Speaker 5: just like clinched up when you go to Cofsnie's left, 243 00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:53,520 Speaker 5: pick up that baby, your muscles don't have nothing left to. 244 00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:55,520 Speaker 4: Give this, you're gonna leak. 245 00:11:55,640 --> 00:12:00,640 Speaker 5: They're weak because they are tight, and so truly strength 246 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:05,000 Speaker 5: comes from being able to tighten. So at baseline, we're relaxed, 247 00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:08,240 Speaker 5: we're chilling. Here comes to action, so now I know 248 00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:11,360 Speaker 5: I need to tighten to protect right. So that's the 249 00:12:11,679 --> 00:12:14,160 Speaker 5: skinny of it, and why I think that a lot 250 00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:17,920 Speaker 5: of women suffer from incontinent That is worse when you 251 00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:20,480 Speaker 5: do things like he was, because you're steady tightening, right, 252 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:23,640 Speaker 5: You're tightening, tighten and tightening, and then comes pain, right 253 00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:26,480 Speaker 5: because those muscles are overworked and then they're tired. So 254 00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:28,200 Speaker 5: then you're have an intercourse and you're like, oh, I 255 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:30,640 Speaker 5: don't like that no more. You know from the back 256 00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:32,360 Speaker 5: used to feel good, but now I can't take it. 257 00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:35,600 Speaker 5: Now I'm running right because those muscles are so tight, 258 00:12:35,679 --> 00:12:38,480 Speaker 5: the same way your shoulders get tight and then someone 259 00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:40,240 Speaker 5: comes up behind you and tries to do a little 260 00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:44,480 Speaker 5: massage and you're like, I don't do that. That hurts, right, Yeah, 261 00:12:44,559 --> 00:12:45,760 Speaker 5: so it's the same thing. 262 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:49,000 Speaker 4: What can help is out there waits. 263 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:52,840 Speaker 5: Come see me, Come see me. First of all, I'm jesting, 264 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:55,240 Speaker 5: but serious ingest. 265 00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:59,240 Speaker 4: I didn't know there were pelvic floor specialist people that 266 00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:00,440 Speaker 4: just are not on that. 267 00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:02,520 Speaker 5: It's not a lot of meat in the world. I 268 00:13:02,559 --> 00:13:06,160 Speaker 5: consider my skills to be unicorn skills because we work 269 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:09,800 Speaker 5: in silos in the medical system. Right. So traditionally I 270 00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:12,080 Speaker 5: would have come out of school and gone straight to 271 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:15,440 Speaker 5: an obgyn's office and been caring for women who are 272 00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:18,480 Speaker 5: pregnant or having use infections, right, And I would have 273 00:13:18,559 --> 00:13:22,120 Speaker 5: stayed in that world. But because of my personality, I 274 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:25,440 Speaker 5: like the complex. I kind of run to If nobody 275 00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:26,840 Speaker 5: else wants to see it, I want to see it. 276 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:30,480 Speaker 5: So I was very intentional about I want to see 277 00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:32,880 Speaker 5: the women that nobody else wants to see. And so 278 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:36,760 Speaker 5: that landed me in a urology clinic. Right. Because to 279 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:39,760 Speaker 5: your point, people don't have time to be hearing about 280 00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:43,920 Speaker 5: you peeing your parents. You know, and I can remember 281 00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:47,080 Speaker 5: being a nursing student and having a client. We had 282 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:50,120 Speaker 5: to go into the community and we had a client 283 00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:52,760 Speaker 5: or I had a client who her family was going 284 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:54,360 Speaker 5: to put her in a nursing home because she was 285 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:58,760 Speaker 5: in continent. It wasn't because just because in Comton, they 286 00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:01,080 Speaker 5: just could not change her her right, they didn't have 287 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:05,240 Speaker 5: the capacity to be able to, you know, keep tabs 288 00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:08,360 Speaker 5: on her and her diapers, right, And so they were like, well, 289 00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:10,600 Speaker 5: we need help, we need support. It's too expensive to 290 00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:12,559 Speaker 5: have someone coming in just to help her to the 291 00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:14,280 Speaker 5: bathroom or to changer all the time, and we can 292 00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:16,520 Speaker 5: do this, So we're going to put her in a home. 293 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:19,000 Speaker 5: And that really stuck with me. I really felt like, 294 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:22,440 Speaker 5: this woman still has some life in her and that's 295 00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:24,840 Speaker 5: been cut short because her family does not have the 296 00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:27,760 Speaker 5: capacity to care for her because of this condition. That 297 00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:31,200 Speaker 5: there has to be treatments out here for So having 298 00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:33,720 Speaker 5: that experience and a lot of other experiences, I was like, Okay, 299 00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:35,760 Speaker 5: I have to be intentional about caring for women that 300 00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:38,320 Speaker 5: need me, the most vulnerable women amongst us. And so 301 00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:40,800 Speaker 5: I started to work in neurology, and so I had 302 00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:43,360 Speaker 5: these gyn skills because I am a women's health and 303 00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:46,600 Speaker 5: gender related nurse practitioner, So I can do the yeast infections, 304 00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:48,920 Speaker 5: I can do the you know, ob care. I can 305 00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:51,800 Speaker 5: do all of that. But now additionally, I can connect 306 00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:54,560 Speaker 5: the dots between the women that are coming in with 307 00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:58,320 Speaker 5: chronic yeast infections and chronic BV and all of these 308 00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:01,600 Speaker 5: urinary tract infections are off so having in continent. Right. 309 00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:08,200 Speaker 4: Oh, and I hadn't thought about urology at all, you know, right, 310 00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:11,280 Speaker 4: And that's and and for people who don't know, that's 311 00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:14,520 Speaker 4: your Yeah, I did just pee a little. Keep that 312 00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:20,520 Speaker 4: in my No, but every time you hear a cough, 313 00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:22,200 Speaker 4: just think rip to my. 314 00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:28,400 Speaker 5: Disposition and therefore to your pocket, because those paths are 315 00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:29,280 Speaker 5: not cheat. 316 00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:32,440 Speaker 4: I'm saying, you know. And my husband brought the wrong 317 00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:34,160 Speaker 4: size the other day and I was trying to squeeze 318 00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:37,360 Speaker 4: my butt into a size medium and I'm like, and 319 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:41,640 Speaker 4: they're ripping, and I'm like, god, damn it, that's like falst. 320 00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:43,680 Speaker 2: That job. 321 00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:46,880 Speaker 3: That's why this conversation is right on time, because it's right. 322 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:48,920 Speaker 3: No one really like I mean, you'll see here obviously 323 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:50,880 Speaker 3: on Brown and Bision, we just talk about everything because 324 00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:53,960 Speaker 3: you know, we're two brown girls now three trying to 325 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:57,440 Speaker 3: navigate life. And so you know this is something that 326 00:15:57,520 --> 00:16:00,320 Speaker 3: I think not enough women, you know, feel comfortable talking about. 327 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,880 Speaker 3: To your point, you know, no one wants to act 328 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:04,720 Speaker 3: like something is wrong with their blah blah or something's 329 00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:08,320 Speaker 3: wrong down there because there's so much judgment associated with that. 330 00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:11,160 Speaker 4: So when you're so big, it doesn't seem like you. 331 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:14,640 Speaker 4: To your point, I'm not dying, and you describe so 332 00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:20,120 Speaker 4: perfectly my experience in my OB's office that they care, 333 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:23,880 Speaker 4: but like I'm not. There's no like life threatening situation, 334 00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:25,040 Speaker 4: so they scoop me on out. 335 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:28,240 Speaker 3: Let's pause this vagina chat because we have to go 336 00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:29,680 Speaker 3: to break, you know, pay some bills, and we'll be 337 00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:33,880 Speaker 3: right back. We're back like backshots, you said what I 338 00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:39,000 Speaker 3: did that anyway, back to our conversation back Like what backshots? 339 00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:40,239 Speaker 4: What's a backshot? 340 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:44,120 Speaker 2: Maybe you don't get a girl. 341 00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:48,280 Speaker 3: That's my favorite position, is that like a sexual yes 342 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:49,560 Speaker 3: girl just from the back? 343 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:55,040 Speaker 4: Oh well, you know I don't. I'm not maybe two 344 00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:58,280 Speaker 4: kids my maternity pillow during the act, because that is 345 00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:00,000 Speaker 4: my level. Like there has to be. 346 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:04,400 Speaker 3: Some supports, like you already take that part out, Like. 347 00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:09,640 Speaker 5: So urology is the care of the bladder. Just Okay, 348 00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:12,160 Speaker 5: so urology is bladder care. So when we think about 349 00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:15,920 Speaker 5: those pelvic floor muscles again, all of that function of peeing, pooping, sex, 350 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:19,480 Speaker 5: and birthing, the bladder is a part of that. Right. 351 00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:22,840 Speaker 5: And so when we work in these silos, if I 352 00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:25,560 Speaker 5: was only doing guy n are only doing obstetric care 353 00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:28,720 Speaker 5: or only doing bladder health, it's hard to really have 354 00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:32,399 Speaker 5: a holistic view of the whole person in front of 355 00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:35,159 Speaker 5: you because it would have been super easy for me 356 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:37,160 Speaker 5: to just be like, Okay, well all of these women 357 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:39,080 Speaker 5: have overactive bladder, so now I'm going to give them 358 00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:41,320 Speaker 5: these medications that are going to cause you know, long 359 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:44,960 Speaker 5: term side effects dry mouth, dry eyes, constipation, which is 360 00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:48,199 Speaker 5: going to worsen their pelvic floor dysfunction. Right, and then 361 00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:50,640 Speaker 5: they'll be back here next year for more refills. Right. 362 00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:53,200 Speaker 5: And then when they turn sixty seventy years old, they're 363 00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:57,160 Speaker 5: having memory loss because these drugs affect the brain. Right. 364 00:17:57,760 --> 00:18:01,600 Speaker 5: So I think I was definitely a afforded the opportunity 365 00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:05,639 Speaker 5: to have all of these skills that seemed like they 366 00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:08,479 Speaker 5: didn't connect, but be able to put the pieces together. 367 00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:11,280 Speaker 5: So and then the sexual health kind of came along 368 00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:15,040 Speaker 5: with it too, because these same women were having vaginal dryness. 369 00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:16,720 Speaker 5: You know, I really used I used to be able 370 00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:19,239 Speaker 5: to have an orgasm in five minutes or less than that. 371 00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:21,080 Speaker 5: Thirty seconds I was having an orgasm. Now I can't 372 00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:23,919 Speaker 5: have an orgasm anymore. Or you know, the women that 373 00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:26,399 Speaker 5: were coming in and saying like, I think I have 374 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:29,679 Speaker 5: a urinary tract infection, but nobody has been able to 375 00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:32,960 Speaker 5: figure it out, when really it's because those muscles are 376 00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:38,520 Speaker 5: so tight that it's signaling to your brain a pain signal, right, 377 00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:40,800 Speaker 5: and so your brain doesn't know the difference between an 378 00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:44,199 Speaker 5: infection or overact the bladder or tight muscles. It's just 379 00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:47,080 Speaker 5: like go to the bathroom and will feel better because 380 00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:49,520 Speaker 5: we relax when we sit on the toilet. 381 00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:52,080 Speaker 4: I always thought it was like everything was too loosey 382 00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:55,600 Speaker 4: goosey down there, and like envision like having a drawstring 383 00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:58,280 Speaker 4: or just want to like turn yes. So you're kind 384 00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:01,080 Speaker 4: of saying that it's the opposite, right, And you. 385 00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,119 Speaker 5: Know it would depend on like we'd have to do 386 00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:06,480 Speaker 5: an exam to see, right. But a lot of that 387 00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:10,879 Speaker 5: tightening comes from if your muscles and if your you know, 388 00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:14,200 Speaker 5: volvo vaginal tissue has not properly healed, then you can 389 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:17,879 Speaker 5: have overtightening. So both things can't exist where the look 390 00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:21,040 Speaker 5: of your vulva the look of your vagina might look different. 391 00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:24,000 Speaker 5: Things might be literally falling out right, Like your bladder 392 00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:26,359 Speaker 5: can fall out. It's something called prolapse. 393 00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:28,480 Speaker 4: I'm on that side of TikTok right now. 394 00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:29,359 Speaker 5: Mm hmmm. 395 00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:32,119 Speaker 4: I thought, yes, someone one was like I was peeing 396 00:19:32,119 --> 00:19:33,440 Speaker 4: and then my bladder was in my hand. 397 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:38,600 Speaker 5: Oh, and you're like, what is this? You know, I've 398 00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:40,399 Speaker 5: had patients coming in like Jenna, I think I have 399 00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:42,119 Speaker 5: a penis, Like I look down there and I had 400 00:19:42,119 --> 00:19:46,000 Speaker 5: a penis coming out, And what she's seeing is her cervix. Right, 401 00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:49,240 Speaker 5: it has a whole, just like a penis, and her 402 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:52,800 Speaker 5: whole uterus had prolapse. So when you have so, you 403 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:55,280 Speaker 5: can have the structures that are literally changing and becoming 404 00:19:55,359 --> 00:19:59,040 Speaker 5: loosey goosey, right, But those muscles are going to respond 405 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,639 Speaker 5: by tightening because something got to hold it together. 406 00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:03,919 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's funny that you say that, because honestly, I've 407 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,520 Speaker 3: always been told like even now, if I feel like 408 00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:10,000 Speaker 3: these are your trats whatever they're like, they've always been 409 00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:13,879 Speaker 3: super tight same, you know, like holding on too, like 410 00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:16,480 Speaker 3: the slurk, so I don't grind my teeth, but it's 411 00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:19,040 Speaker 3: like I'm holding it here and apparently down there because 412 00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:20,879 Speaker 3: when I was really little, honestly, at one point my 413 00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:23,160 Speaker 3: doctor because I, like, you know, I was having such 414 00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:25,639 Speaker 3: a hard time, they worried that I was being like 415 00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:29,320 Speaker 3: assaulted potentially, and then that's why I wasn't able to 416 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:32,320 Speaker 3: like hold you know, my pee. That was not the case. Remember, 417 00:20:32,359 --> 00:20:33,920 Speaker 3: they asked me all these questions. Anybody touch you? That 418 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,399 Speaker 3: I remember I remember just sticklarly like it was in 419 00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:37,760 Speaker 3: the room. My mom and I had to be like 420 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:40,880 Speaker 3: second grade and the doctor was like doctor being I'll 421 00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:41,280 Speaker 3: never forget. 422 00:20:41,359 --> 00:20:43,320 Speaker 2: She said, does anyone touch you down there? I was 423 00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:48,760 Speaker 2: like yes. She was like who a city you? Because 424 00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:50,560 Speaker 2: I look like what's happening? Because she was the only 425 00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:53,119 Speaker 2: one other than my mother, and she was like, girl, 426 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:55,800 Speaker 2: I mean somebody. I was like, girl, you all up 427 00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:56,120 Speaker 2: in there? 428 00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:57,200 Speaker 5: You asked me question. 429 00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,520 Speaker 3: My mother like is this a loud because this lady 430 00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:05,280 Speaker 3: my mother just started busting out laughing like not the 431 00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:07,840 Speaker 3: doctor's tiffany. I'm like, well she wasn't clear. 432 00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:12,520 Speaker 5: Yeah, but stressed? I mean, were you a stressed out child? Like, 433 00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:15,080 Speaker 5: what sort of other traumas did you have in your 434 00:21:15,119 --> 00:21:18,080 Speaker 5: life that you know had your pelvis tight? You were 435 00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:24,000 Speaker 5: you were in fear of something, you know, and so 436 00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:25,400 Speaker 5: that's gonna manifest physically. 437 00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:29,280 Speaker 4: You were anxious, interesting, very anxious. I think about Viola 438 00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:31,639 Speaker 4: Davis's book because she had such a traumatic childhood and 439 00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:34,040 Speaker 4: she talks about peeing the bed for a long time 440 00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:35,000 Speaker 4: as a child. 441 00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:38,520 Speaker 3: I was very anxious all the time. Honestly, I was 442 00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:41,679 Speaker 3: an anxious child, anxious adults. I mean, it's honestly just 443 00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:44,399 Speaker 3: now that I'm starting to finally release some of the 444 00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:46,800 Speaker 3: anxiety that, like I carried with you, I didn't realize 445 00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:49,680 Speaker 3: I gotten so used to it that now that I'm 446 00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:53,359 Speaker 3: not carrying around largely most of that anxiety that I'm like, wait, 447 00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:56,960 Speaker 3: is this I felt like up until like therapy, honestly, 448 00:21:57,000 --> 00:22:00,320 Speaker 3: that I was always walking on eggs shells a free 449 00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:04,640 Speaker 3: always always always wait, you know, always, And so now 450 00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:06,520 Speaker 3: that like, you know, after Drill passed away and I 451 00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:07,560 Speaker 3: was like, I don't want to live in this space 452 00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:09,840 Speaker 3: anymore in that kind of way, like I'm like. 453 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:13,119 Speaker 2: Wait, is this what relax feels like? I've never been relaxed. 454 00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:17,520 Speaker 5: It's hard yeah, And so a lot of the work 455 00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:20,760 Speaker 5: that I do with my clients is training you on 456 00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:23,960 Speaker 5: what it feels like to not be clinching all the time, right, 457 00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:27,600 Speaker 5: So teaching you how to breathe so that you can 458 00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:30,600 Speaker 5: create space in your pelvis to give your public floor 459 00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:34,800 Speaker 5: muscles permission to relax. Because right now your baseline is 460 00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:38,720 Speaker 5: type tight tight Tight's that's all that it knows, right, 461 00:22:39,119 --> 00:22:42,200 Speaker 5: And so you have to train your brain and literally 462 00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:44,200 Speaker 5: reteach your muscles how to work properly. 463 00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:49,280 Speaker 4: So, can you talk about some practical tips generally for 464 00:22:49,359 --> 00:22:51,840 Speaker 4: anyone who's suffering from like pelvic floor issues, what we 465 00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:53,840 Speaker 4: could be doing, because honestly, it's like we saw that 466 00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:56,520 Speaker 4: one episode of Oprah in two thousand and four about 467 00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:58,840 Speaker 4: doing cagles and it's just like that's the go to. 468 00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:02,359 Speaker 5: Yeah what Yeah, So if kingos aren't all bad, like 469 00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:05,240 Speaker 5: I don't want it. You know, there are some clients 470 00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:07,639 Speaker 5: that they are indicated for, but if you have pain 471 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,119 Speaker 5: and if you don't know how to properly do them, 472 00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:13,280 Speaker 5: then they're not right. So I would say that if 473 00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:15,199 Speaker 5: you are doing them on your own, you need to 474 00:23:15,440 --> 00:23:18,240 Speaker 5: have a coach in the way of someone like me, 475 00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:21,080 Speaker 5: Like I'm a women's health nurse practitioner, or you can 476 00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:25,800 Speaker 5: find a pelvic floor physical therapist, someone who can teach 477 00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:27,800 Speaker 5: you in a couple of sessions to make sure that 478 00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:31,199 Speaker 5: you're doing the exercise correctly, because if you're doing it incorrectly, 479 00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:34,280 Speaker 5: you are working against yourself, right, because if you think 480 00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:36,840 Speaker 5: that you are tightening the muscles around the bladder because 481 00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:39,520 Speaker 5: you have urinary leakage, but then you're just tightening your 482 00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:42,800 Speaker 5: butt muscles instead, right, So then when you go to poop, 483 00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:45,639 Speaker 5: those muscles can't around, your rectum can't relax, and now 484 00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:50,160 Speaker 5: you're constipated, you know. So really you need to work 485 00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:52,800 Speaker 5: with a specialist to figure out how to do the 486 00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:57,520 Speaker 5: exercises correctly, and then you go on your own and 487 00:23:57,520 --> 00:24:00,000 Speaker 5: do it. And so there's lots of information I would 488 00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:04,760 Speaker 5: say if you find ISSUISH I s s w s H. 489 00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:08,119 Speaker 5: It's the International Society for the Study of Women's Sexual Health. 490 00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:13,360 Speaker 5: There are lots of gynecologists, nurse practitioners like myself, youurologists 491 00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:16,760 Speaker 5: who are members of this society, and we are all 492 00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:20,119 Speaker 5: really trained on the pelvit floor and the impacts of 493 00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:22,639 Speaker 5: the pelvile floor and all of the function and dysfunction 494 00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:24,480 Speaker 5: that is there, and I'm going to give a shout 495 00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:28,320 Speaker 5: out real quick. There is a public floor physical therapist 496 00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:33,119 Speaker 5: on Instagram. She's the Vagina Rehab Doctor. She's black, and 497 00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:36,159 Speaker 5: she has like a lot of online resources that you 498 00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:40,240 Speaker 5: can sign up to do some stretch lass Vagina Rehab doctor. 499 00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:43,320 Speaker 4: Immediately, what are you want? 500 00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:45,639 Speaker 5: I know I should shout out myself first. I am 501 00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:48,679 Speaker 5: on social media as Discover her Health. It's d s 502 00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:53,879 Speaker 5: COO v h e R Discover her Health and my 503 00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:57,120 Speaker 5: website is discover Herhealth dot com. And so I share 504 00:24:57,160 --> 00:25:00,879 Speaker 5: a lot of information on my Instagram page too, and 505 00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:03,640 Speaker 5: have some plans in the works to launch some courses 506 00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:06,480 Speaker 5: to teach you all about sexual health and bladder health 507 00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:07,959 Speaker 5: and all of this stuff. 508 00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:12,560 Speaker 4: So for black women, especially, like I know Tiffany suffered 509 00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:14,960 Speaker 4: from fibroids, and can you speak a little bit about like, 510 00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:17,400 Speaker 4: I mean, that's such a I think we're just now 511 00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:20,480 Speaker 4: understanding how like what an epidemic this is almost for 512 00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:23,240 Speaker 4: Black women, especially in our community, Like can you talk 513 00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:27,320 Speaker 4: about just the importance of advocating for ourselves. Is it 514 00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:31,880 Speaker 4: that doctors over overlook our pain or is it that 515 00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:35,120 Speaker 4: we diminish it? Like what's your advice for women who 516 00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:38,600 Speaker 4: who are in our community who are dealing with this, 517 00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:41,040 Speaker 4: and why has it? Why are we just more likely 518 00:25:41,119 --> 00:25:42,080 Speaker 4: to be suffering? 519 00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:46,159 Speaker 5: You know, it's a heavy question. It's a lot of things. 520 00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:49,600 Speaker 5: One the doctors, the nurses, they don't know, they don't 521 00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:51,919 Speaker 5: know any better. They're telling you to keegle, not because 522 00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:54,480 Speaker 5: they know that it's going to harm you, right, but 523 00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:57,800 Speaker 5: because they we don't get this education in school, like 524 00:25:57,960 --> 00:26:01,199 Speaker 5: I am self taught in most of these things, Like 525 00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:05,280 Speaker 5: I had to seek out conferences and become certified and 526 00:26:05,359 --> 00:26:07,840 Speaker 5: learn these skills. I had to intentionally do that, and 527 00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:11,520 Speaker 5: I was blessed enough to have the space to do so. 528 00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:14,400 Speaker 5: You know, So most of your providers are not going 529 00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:16,560 Speaker 5: to understand the first thing about the public floor, which 530 00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:18,480 Speaker 5: is why they're telling you to keel, even though you 531 00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:21,480 Speaker 5: don't necessarily need to. Y'all say that. And I think 532 00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:25,280 Speaker 5: that the more we advocate for ourselves as clients, the 533 00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:27,840 Speaker 5: more the provider will have to be like, well, you're 534 00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:29,800 Speaker 5: not about to catch me slipping, You're not gonna like 535 00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:33,160 Speaker 5: educate me, you know, So then they are going to take, 536 00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:38,240 Speaker 5: hopefully take that up to become educated about the public floor. 537 00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:40,960 Speaker 5: So we have to advocate for ourselves. We have to 538 00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:43,800 Speaker 5: find the experts, and then the experts have to know 539 00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:48,240 Speaker 5: their weaknesses. So gynecologists have to know who to refer to. 540 00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:51,399 Speaker 5: Primary care providers have to know who to refer to. 541 00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:53,800 Speaker 5: And so that's why I'm excited to be here so 542 00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:56,359 Speaker 5: that I can, as a young black mom of a 543 00:26:56,359 --> 00:26:58,800 Speaker 5: three year old and a one year old, with all 544 00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:01,520 Speaker 5: of these lived experiences with my black face right be 545 00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:05,160 Speaker 5: on this podcast and say like, I am here doing 546 00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:07,919 Speaker 5: this work because there are not many of me, and 547 00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:10,880 Speaker 5: hopefully I can inspire other nurses, other nurse practitioners, other 548 00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:14,760 Speaker 5: obgyns to start to take up the work and start 549 00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:17,399 Speaker 5: to do it alongside me. So it's a heavy question 550 00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:20,520 Speaker 5: and I am just you know, trying to do my part. 551 00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:22,520 Speaker 5: I quit my job. I was like, I can't do 552 00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:25,120 Speaker 5: this anymore within the system. I have this dream. It's 553 00:27:25,119 --> 00:27:27,280 Speaker 5: on my heart, like all right, God, I don't know 554 00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:30,200 Speaker 5: how I'm gonna do it, but I'm gonna follow Tiffany. 555 00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:32,800 Speaker 5: It's you know, she's gonna help me launch this business 556 00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:34,920 Speaker 5: and I'm gonna help her with three thousand floor I. 557 00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:37,560 Speaker 4: Love a quitter, though, I love a career quitner. I 558 00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:39,560 Speaker 4: didn't realize that, so you left and so now this 559 00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:41,560 Speaker 4: is your Well, I do know that you're an entrepreneur. 560 00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:44,640 Speaker 4: So when did you launch this particular business and how 561 00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:45,520 Speaker 4: has that journey been? 562 00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:48,640 Speaker 5: Okay, so today marks one year in business. 563 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:52,000 Speaker 4: Yeah, oh congrats, I'm a baby business owner too. 564 00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:56,959 Speaker 5: Yeah, thank you. So one year ago I had a 565 00:27:57,240 --> 00:27:59,280 Speaker 5: job offer making the most money that I would have 566 00:27:59,359 --> 00:28:01,720 Speaker 5: ever made. You know, it's a really great job offer. 567 00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:04,480 Speaker 5: And then I had a panic attack, and I was like, 568 00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:06,480 Speaker 5: why am I stressed? 569 00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:06,800 Speaker 4: Right? 570 00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:08,439 Speaker 5: Because now I teach you all day you have to 571 00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:10,600 Speaker 5: listen to your body. You have to listen to the city. 572 00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:13,480 Speaker 5: Why is my body telling me that I am not aligned? 573 00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:17,760 Speaker 5: You know? Why am I feeling physically unwell if I 574 00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:20,560 Speaker 5: have this amazing opportunity in front of me. And I 575 00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:24,359 Speaker 5: just knew that I had to launch Discover Health. I 576 00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:27,439 Speaker 5: had been talking about it, and I was just like, 577 00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:29,199 Speaker 5: it's now or never. At that point, I had my 578 00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:32,399 Speaker 5: second baby in three years, you know, he was six 579 00:28:32,440 --> 00:28:36,840 Speaker 5: months old, and I just felt like I was not 580 00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:39,240 Speaker 5: getting the care that I wanted and there were there 581 00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:41,440 Speaker 5: was no Discover Health for me as a post part 582 00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:43,240 Speaker 5: of mom. So I was like, I have to do 583 00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:46,920 Speaker 5: this and so having those children too, I had two 584 00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:50,320 Speaker 5: home births. I think I just felt kind of invincible, 585 00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:52,960 Speaker 5: you know, and I was like, I. 586 00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:56,200 Speaker 4: Can do anything. 587 00:28:56,840 --> 00:29:01,160 Speaker 5: Yes, back to that, Yeah, So I felt invincible and 588 00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:02,480 Speaker 5: I was like, it's an hour and never. It's on 589 00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:04,240 Speaker 5: my heart. I don't feel well in my body. I 590 00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:05,920 Speaker 5: know that I'm not aligned, and so I just have 591 00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:08,680 Speaker 5: to keep pushing forward and do this even though it's 592 00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:10,920 Speaker 5: never been done and nobody else is doing it, but 593 00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:14,040 Speaker 5: here we go. It's now or never. So when I 594 00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:16,360 Speaker 5: got the email to record today, I was really just 595 00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:18,880 Speaker 5: like I started. I was like, thank you God, Like, 596 00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:22,640 Speaker 5: thank you God, this is I feel aligned. So looking 597 00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:25,400 Speaker 5: back over this last year, I definitely feel like I 598 00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:28,240 Speaker 5: am walking in alignment and I know that I'm on 599 00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:31,520 Speaker 5: the right path just because little signs like this, So. 600 00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:33,680 Speaker 2: God not that's what we like to call God. 601 00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:34,880 Speaker 5: I love God. 602 00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:38,680 Speaker 4: Really. That resonates with me so much because that's exactly 603 00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:40,320 Speaker 4: when I started my business a couple of years ago. 604 00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:42,440 Speaker 4: Tiffany was at the beginning of that, like scraping me 605 00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:46,000 Speaker 4: off the floor of my panic attack moment and you know, 606 00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:48,800 Speaker 4: helping and supporting me on that path. And I believe 607 00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:51,360 Speaker 4: in that so's it's these little signs that your voice 608 00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:55,040 Speaker 4: is needed, that it's that you're and I can just see, 609 00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:56,960 Speaker 4: just like when I talk about negotiating, I see that 610 00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:59,360 Speaker 4: sparkle in you, and I'm just I'm so excited that 611 00:29:59,400 --> 00:29:59,959 Speaker 4: you took that lead. 612 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:01,120 Speaker 2: Deep thank you. 613 00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:04,200 Speaker 4: Yeah, it doesn't when you have kids and you can 614 00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:06,280 Speaker 4: manage your own schedule. 615 00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:07,240 Speaker 2: Yeah you would. 616 00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:09,960 Speaker 5: I feel like I'm working harder now than I did before. 617 00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:10,600 Speaker 2: Yeah you are. 618 00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:11,920 Speaker 5: I'm like, what a sleep? 619 00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:13,400 Speaker 4: That's okay, we can work on that. That. 620 00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:16,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's it. I mean, it's a lot, especially in 621 00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:17,040 Speaker 3: the beginning, you know, like. 622 00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:18,560 Speaker 4: It's your Beyonce era like Tiffany's. 623 00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:20,920 Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, sometimes that's just what it looks like. But 624 00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:26,400 Speaker 3: it's still there's a freedom that cannot be replaced or 625 00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:28,440 Speaker 3: mimicked in you know, working for someone else. There's nothing 626 00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:30,480 Speaker 3: wrong working for someone else. So certainly when out shading next, 627 00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:33,600 Speaker 3: I love when I top three school, But there is 628 00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:38,440 Speaker 3: a level of like and freedom within within the within reason, 629 00:30:38,560 --> 00:30:40,480 Speaker 3: meaning like you know, like what you can make, you know, 630 00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:43,200 Speaker 3: there's really no cap on it, and certainly you know 631 00:30:43,280 --> 00:30:46,400 Speaker 3: you have some choice over schedule, although in the beginning 632 00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:48,280 Speaker 3: it won't feel like that, which is that's just how 633 00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:51,080 Speaker 3: it goes for the most people in the beginning. But yeah, no, 634 00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:53,520 Speaker 3: I just love that, like look at us three brown girls, 635 00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:55,920 Speaker 3: three business brown girls just out here. 636 00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:59,080 Speaker 2: You know, you know it's a love fest. 637 00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:01,920 Speaker 4: That it's Yeah, yes, it is. 638 00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:04,120 Speaker 3: Possible no matter what it is because look at Mandy 639 00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:09,400 Speaker 3: negotiating queen. We have Jenna Vova queen. I love that 640 00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:12,400 Speaker 3: Big health a big health queen, right, and then me 641 00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:16,520 Speaker 3: personal finance queen. So it's just it is possible. Hopefully 642 00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:19,680 Speaker 3: you know those you listen can see yourselves and our journeys. 643 00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:21,400 Speaker 3: But you know, Jenna, we really want to thank you 644 00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:24,280 Speaker 3: for coming. This was awesome songs. 645 00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:27,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that. 646 00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:29,520 Speaker 3: So if people want to find you, even if they 647 00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:31,440 Speaker 3: don't live in DC, I know you have very helpful website. 648 00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:33,400 Speaker 3: Share again where they can find you on social and 649 00:31:33,440 --> 00:31:36,200 Speaker 3: your site and how they can keep they can keep connecting. 650 00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:39,920 Speaker 5: Yes, definitely follow me on Instagram, Facebook, Discover her Health 651 00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:43,160 Speaker 5: d I S c O v h e R Health. 652 00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:46,240 Speaker 5: The website is the same discover her health dot com. 653 00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:50,200 Speaker 5: We have lots of posts and resources working on some 654 00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:53,200 Speaker 5: courses and yeah, follow me there for all of the updates. 655 00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:55,760 Speaker 5: And I'm excited to give the girls what they deserve. 656 00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:59,080 Speaker 4: If there's one key thing I'll take away from our convo, Jenna, 657 00:31:59,120 --> 00:32:01,920 Speaker 4: it's like I thought I was advocating for myself by 658 00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:06,080 Speaker 4: asking about my issue, But the real challenge is when 659 00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:08,080 Speaker 4: they give you a simple answer and pat you on 660 00:32:08,120 --> 00:32:11,640 Speaker 4: the head coming back after that, and it's like holding 661 00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:14,680 Speaker 4: yourself accountable to go back and be the squeaky wheel, 662 00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:16,920 Speaker 4: which even I still struggle with. I can do it 663 00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:19,719 Speaker 4: when it comes down to negotiating money, but you know, 664 00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:21,880 Speaker 4: I just can't find the same passion for my bladder 665 00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:23,080 Speaker 4: and my wulva, but I should. 666 00:32:23,160 --> 00:32:24,800 Speaker 5: You need an advocate, and I'm happy to be that 667 00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:25,240 Speaker 5: for you. 668 00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:28,800 Speaker 4: Yeah, and to actually and recognize that they don't know 669 00:32:28,840 --> 00:32:30,760 Speaker 4: the answer, but make them give me a referral or 670 00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:33,400 Speaker 4: make them, you know, point them and to your point, 671 00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:35,680 Speaker 4: if we ask those questions, it'll put the pressure on 672 00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:39,480 Speaker 4: them to find answers, you know. So thank you so 673 00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:43,040 Speaker 4: much for sharing. This is a perfect day to This 674 00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:45,920 Speaker 4: is the perfect way to self right valentime. Hell yeah, 675 00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:49,080 Speaker 4: it's about our sexual health and our you know, loving 676 00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:51,720 Speaker 4: ourselves and taking care of our bodies, like the essential part. 677 00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:53,080 Speaker 4: So this was perfect. 678 00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:55,680 Speaker 5: This is so wonderful. I'm so happy that you guys 679 00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:56,120 Speaker 5: had me. 680 00:32:57,240 --> 00:32:59,440 Speaker 1: Hey ba fam, we could not do this show without 681 00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:02,560 Speaker 1: your supports or the support of our team behind the scenes. 682 00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:06,480 Speaker 4: The Brown Ambission podcast is produced by Cumulus Podcast Network. 683 00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:10,040 Speaker 1: It's edited by the wonderful Imani Crosby and produced by 684 00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:14,120 Speaker 1: Tanya Bustos. Dennis Stimplinsky is our in house tech curu, 685 00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:16,960 Speaker 1: and I am Bandy Wichard Santos, your co host, and 686 00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:20,960 Speaker 1: I will see y'all next week.