WEBVTT - How Men *NSYNC 0:00:00.880 --> 0:00:04.360 This is How Men Think with broths Like and Gavin 0:00:04.400 --> 0:00:08.600 de grab and I heard Radio Podcasts. Welcome to another 0:00:08.600 --> 0:00:10.840 episode of How Men Think. My name is brooks Like. 0:00:11.200 --> 0:00:14.040 And last week we had an amazing guest on, Mr 0:00:14.120 --> 0:00:17.680 Tyler Rich and we answered listener questions. So we answered 0:00:17.720 --> 0:00:21.079 your questions and we love doing those shows. And this 0:00:21.160 --> 0:00:24.320 week we have another special guest on to answer more 0:00:24.360 --> 0:00:26.520 of your questions. Last week, it was a lot of 0:00:26.600 --> 0:00:30.800 questions from listeners that were about fatherhood, and neither Tyler 0:00:30.880 --> 0:00:33.640 nor I were fathers, so we thought, to serve the 0:00:33.680 --> 0:00:36.839 mission of the community, we need to bring an out 0:00:37.200 --> 0:00:40.680 standing father on to answer some of these questions. So 0:00:41.080 --> 0:00:45.280 we have an amazing guest. Everybody is gonna just fan 0:00:45.400 --> 0:00:47.360 girl when I say this name. Here at the moment, 0:00:47.440 --> 0:00:50.239 we have an amazing guest on with us. He is 0:00:50.520 --> 0:00:53.920 a father, but he has many more things than that 0:00:54.040 --> 0:00:59.480 as well. Um. He is a music superstar, a living legend. 0:00:59.520 --> 0:01:03.400 He's also an actor, host, a Broadway star, a voiceover artist, 0:01:03.640 --> 0:01:07.479 a dancer, media personality, everything you name it. This man 0:01:07.680 --> 0:01:11.280 is from the band in Sync. His name is Mr Joey, 0:01:11.400 --> 0:01:15.160 but tone Joey. What's up, Buddy Man? Doing all right? 0:01:15.959 --> 0:01:19.080 I'm great, and I guarantee listening in their cars or 0:01:19.120 --> 0:01:22.240 in their homes, that the ladies are just screaming and 0:01:22.400 --> 0:01:25.360 going wild. Well, hopefully that screaming to lead in their cars. 0:01:25.400 --> 0:01:27.240 I don't want to get the little little deaf there, 0:01:27.280 --> 0:01:30.000 so make sure it's a a relatively nice scream, but 0:01:30.080 --> 0:01:33.880 not as loud. I hope that loud. You guys deserve 0:01:33.920 --> 0:01:36.120 that you deserve that you are a living legend. Dude. 0:01:36.200 --> 0:01:39.440 I'm like, I'm gonna get any girl in my phone. 0:01:39.440 --> 0:01:41.720 Any friends of mine are gonna send me text messages 0:01:41.920 --> 0:01:44.600 as soon as this is over it. I'm here to 0:01:44.640 --> 0:01:47.039 help anytime. If I'm here to help, if you need anything, 0:01:47.040 --> 0:01:48.720 don't worry about it. No, it's it's great to be 0:01:48.760 --> 0:01:50.560 on man, I really appreciate it. It's interesting, you know, 0:01:50.880 --> 0:01:53.440 from from different perspectives from different man and it's it's 0:01:53.440 --> 0:01:55.640 fun to be on something like this to get my 0:01:55.680 --> 0:01:58.360 perspectives appreciate again. Yeah, and I'm looking forward to getting 0:01:58.360 --> 0:02:00.320 your perspective as well, because I've said on to show 0:02:00.320 --> 0:02:03.280 many times, I think the greatest, my ultimate destiny, the 0:02:03.280 --> 0:02:04.840 greatest thing I could ever do in my life is 0:02:04.840 --> 0:02:07.720 be a loving husband and a loving father and I'm 0:02:07.760 --> 0:02:10.120 not yet a father, so I always appreciate when we 0:02:10.160 --> 0:02:12.680 have people who are fathers on the show. So I 0:02:12.720 --> 0:02:15.600 get to ask to ask questions and and sort of 0:02:15.639 --> 0:02:18.280 just armed myself to become a father and prepared to 0:02:18.320 --> 0:02:21.959 become a father. But also serves our community amazingly as well. 0:02:22.040 --> 0:02:23.920 I also just want to tip my cap to user, 0:02:24.360 --> 0:02:28.440 because you are a man of many hats um, and 0:02:28.480 --> 0:02:31.880 it's impressive to see you go across industry and have 0:02:32.120 --> 0:02:35.240 so many talents. You're obviously known as a performer, but 0:02:35.280 --> 0:02:38.040 you have so many other talents. Yeah, it's it's nice 0:02:38.080 --> 0:02:40.160 that so far someone has not told me I sucked yet, 0:02:40.200 --> 0:02:42.200 which is good. That's always a good It's always a 0:02:42.200 --> 0:02:45.920 good indication that you're doing something right. Um. Also, I 0:02:45.960 --> 0:02:48.520 shall say, um, I don't know if you remember it 0:02:48.600 --> 0:02:50.640 or not, but we met before. I don't know if 0:02:50.639 --> 0:02:52.600 we actually personally met, but we were in the same 0:02:52.680 --> 0:02:58.840 room two of our friends, very very very good dancers 0:02:59.280 --> 0:03:04.120 got married. Yeah you got up and sang, um that 0:03:04.160 --> 0:03:08.320 was that was and Sasha probably then yeah, buddy, if 0:03:08.320 --> 0:03:10.080 you got up and saying and you crushed it and 0:03:10.120 --> 0:03:13.480 you lit the whole fun it was. So that night 0:03:13.520 --> 0:03:15.960 was so fun. That was a lot that that was 0:03:16.320 --> 0:03:17.800 some of it. Tordsend was a little bit of a 0:03:17.800 --> 0:03:21.720 bull but yes, it was fun. Nonetheless, UM, I don't 0:03:21.720 --> 0:03:24.880 know if you knew what happened to me that night. Um, 0:03:24.919 --> 0:03:28.000 so everybody in the room is professional dancers, including yourself 0:03:28.000 --> 0:03:29.720 being on Dancing with the Stars. I think you were 0:03:30.360 --> 0:03:34.679 Dancing with the Stars, right yea, So, um, everybody in 0:03:34.720 --> 0:03:36.800 the room is a professional dancer, with the exception of 0:03:36.840 --> 0:03:39.440 like three of us. And I put on my suit, 0:03:39.480 --> 0:03:41.360 put on this nice black suit to come to this wedding, 0:03:41.360 --> 0:03:43.440 and I'm like, wow, my suit is a little tight. 0:03:43.600 --> 0:03:45.120 You know, this was a suit from when I was 0:03:45.120 --> 0:03:47.760 playing hockey, when I was a little bit leaner. Now 0:03:47.800 --> 0:03:49.760 I'm a little stronger. So I'm like whatever, I'll wear 0:03:49.760 --> 0:03:51.720 the suit. I'm out on the dance for it's midnight, 0:03:52.040 --> 0:03:53.640 just dancing. All of a sudden, it ripped the whole 0:03:53.680 --> 0:03:57.000 ass right out of this, right out of the the 0:03:57.120 --> 0:04:00.280 whole ask just goes right around right for the watching. 0:04:00.280 --> 0:04:03.400 I'm like, oh, dear, gone, nothing wrong with that. Especially 0:04:03.400 --> 0:04:05.400 in front of dances. Everybody were like cool, you're up 0:04:05.400 --> 0:04:08.920 to pants keeping going. So I got a quick uber 0:04:09.080 --> 0:04:12.000 home change pants and kind of quick uber. No, no, 0:04:12.080 --> 0:04:14.320 I didn't know that. That's awesome. Hey, nobody knew that 0:04:14.320 --> 0:04:17.600 that's awesome. I only missed about twenty thirty minutes, but um, 0:04:17.640 --> 0:04:19.599 you rock the mic that night then it was It 0:04:19.680 --> 0:04:21.600 was fun man, Yeah, it's it's you know, it's always 0:04:21.640 --> 0:04:23.839 fun to do stuff like that, especially you know when 0:04:23.880 --> 0:04:27.640 you're you know when when my fourtast is mostly performing 0:04:27.680 --> 0:04:29.600 and singing, and you know, with Dancing the Stars, I 0:04:29.600 --> 0:04:30.920 really don't get a chance to do that in a sense, 0:04:30.920 --> 0:04:32.680 but people see me in performing. So but it's kind 0:04:32.680 --> 0:04:35.200 of fun to be able to do that for your 0:04:35.240 --> 0:04:37.320 friends that are having a wedding and you know, you've 0:04:37.400 --> 0:04:39.960 you've you've grown to love and and and it's just 0:04:40.000 --> 0:04:42.400 fun to be able to do something like that, to 0:04:42.440 --> 0:04:44.080 be able to give the gift like that. So, hey, 0:04:44.480 --> 0:04:47.039 it's such it's I think it's soutful to use your 0:04:47.120 --> 0:04:50.839 gift to give that gift. Yeah. No, hey, I tried 0:04:50.839 --> 0:04:52.200 it as much as I can. If I can do it, 0:04:52.240 --> 0:04:54.200 I'll do you know, I'll do it. You know. Super cool. 0:04:54.240 --> 0:04:55.880 So I also I want to get into more of 0:04:55.920 --> 0:04:57.560 what you're doing as well. We'll get into that later 0:04:57.560 --> 0:04:59.240 in the show. Because you, like I said, you are 0:04:59.520 --> 0:05:01.680 your whole thing. You're doing the man many things. You 0:05:01.680 --> 0:05:04.640 have a new show, common knowledge, a lot of stuff 0:05:04.680 --> 0:05:06.440 going on in your world. So we'll get to that later. 0:05:06.720 --> 0:05:09.120 But to serve our community first, I want to ask 0:05:09.160 --> 0:05:13.760 you some questions, some fatherhood questions. Um, you have two daughters, 0:05:14.600 --> 0:05:17.280 ten year old and a ten year old. Um yea, 0:05:17.960 --> 0:05:19.640 And I don't know if you want to mention the 0:05:19.720 --> 0:05:22.240 names or speak about the minute. Chloe Chloe's a ten 0:05:22.279 --> 0:05:25.200 year old. Brianna is my nineteen year old. Brianna is 0:05:25.279 --> 0:05:27.760 just she finished already her first year of college, which 0:05:27.800 --> 0:05:29.760 is crazy to say and have that come out of 0:05:29.760 --> 0:05:32.880 my mouth. Uh, She's gonna be starting her second year 0:05:33.200 --> 0:05:35.960 coming up, I believe at the end of August. And 0:05:36.080 --> 0:05:39.560 my my ten year old is starting fourth grade uh 0:05:39.560 --> 0:05:43.280 in August as well. So they're they're both they're they're 0:05:43.279 --> 0:05:46.120 definitely gonna be attending school. UM. I know with the 0:05:46.120 --> 0:05:48.320 whole thing with COVID and everything. I think Brianna is 0:05:48.320 --> 0:05:50.520 she goes to Michigan State. She'll be going there for 0:05:50.680 --> 0:05:52.680 I think up until December and then comes back for 0:05:52.720 --> 0:05:55.359 the rest of the year. And since my old my 0:05:55.400 --> 0:05:57.760 little one, I should say, goes to private school for 0:05:57.800 --> 0:06:00.680 schooling they're doing where they can either go to school 0:06:00.720 --> 0:06:03.279 or opt out of being in school. So what we 0:06:03.320 --> 0:06:04.960 want to do is for my daughters, what we're gonna 0:06:04.960 --> 0:06:06.800 what we are doing. What we're doing is we're gonna 0:06:06.839 --> 0:06:09.960 have our kid, Chloe, Chloe going to school. And if 0:06:10.040 --> 0:06:12.080 and you know, and if things aren't that great or 0:06:12.200 --> 0:06:13.880 the case would be, we can always pull her out 0:06:13.920 --> 0:06:16.640 worst case scenario and still be two at home, but 0:06:17.600 --> 0:06:19.599 we'd rather her get the education in the hands on 0:06:19.680 --> 0:06:21.839 things because now the classes are going to be even smaller, 0:06:21.880 --> 0:06:24.440 which is great, I think, obviously with the exception of 0:06:24.440 --> 0:06:27.560 hopefully for everybody's social distancing, and they're putting plexical I mean, 0:06:27.560 --> 0:06:30.000 it's crazy what they're doing, but they're trying to make 0:06:30.000 --> 0:06:32.440 it as as normal as they can. So it's been 0:06:32.440 --> 0:06:34.960 a it's been interesting to deal with that, especially right 0:06:35.000 --> 0:06:37.240 when the pandemic hit and you know, I'm not doing 0:06:37.360 --> 0:06:39.719 fourth grade math anymore. And my kid comes up to 0:06:39.720 --> 0:06:40.960 me and says, hey, Dad, don't know how to do this, 0:06:41.000 --> 0:06:44.039 And I look at her, going, uh, I don't know either. 0:06:44.160 --> 0:06:45.800 Let me find out. You know, you figure it out 0:06:46.320 --> 0:06:48.400 or you asked the teacher. You know, I asked my brother. 0:06:48.480 --> 0:06:50.200 Is talking my brother about it too. He's got two kids, 0:06:50.200 --> 0:06:52.760 and he said he wants to put his son back 0:06:52.800 --> 0:06:54.440 in school in the fall too. So it seems like 0:06:54.480 --> 0:06:56.960 a lot of places are leaving you the option. Um, 0:06:57.040 --> 0:06:58.840 I would probly do the same, try and get them 0:06:58.839 --> 0:07:01.560 back in school, just to be the environment and being 0:07:01.560 --> 0:07:05.680 around their friends. And life's gonna look a little bit different. Um, 0:07:05.720 --> 0:07:07.839 But that's okay, you know, I think so right right now, 0:07:07.960 --> 0:07:11.000 it's again it's just adjusting and hopefully getting back again. 0:07:11.440 --> 0:07:13.440 Nothing's ever gonna be hard to percent normal. I don't 0:07:13.440 --> 0:07:15.800 think back to normal percent, but again, there will be 0:07:15.880 --> 0:07:18.520 some sort of normal ce on certain things in the 0:07:18.520 --> 0:07:20.360 way they're going to handle things, I'm sure. And just again, 0:07:20.360 --> 0:07:22.960 it's one of those things that like, Okay, let's try 0:07:22.960 --> 0:07:24.440 to reassess the figure out what we have to do 0:07:24.480 --> 0:07:25.960 and how we have to do it to make things 0:07:25.960 --> 0:07:29.240 work to where we get these kids in education. Yeah, wow, amazing, 0:07:29.280 --> 0:07:32.520 awesome brother, Okay, we have we have some questions for you, buddy, 0:07:32.520 --> 0:07:34.600 and I'm looking forward to your answers. And just like 0:07:35.320 --> 0:07:40.760 doing everything from a father, so our our producer engineer, extraordinary, 0:07:40.880 --> 0:07:44.120 Mr Easton is awaiting in the wings with the question Easton, 0:07:44.160 --> 0:07:46.160 what do you got for us? Buddy? All right, let's 0:07:46.200 --> 0:07:48.679 get into it. Uh. This first one is from Clara. 0:07:49.400 --> 0:07:53.480 She says, guys with kids, how are you surviving this time? Marriage, dating, parenting? 0:07:53.520 --> 0:07:59.160 It's all too much? Great question. Yeah, it's th one, 0:07:59.200 --> 0:08:04.040 but like how we're very guys with kids, kids come first. 0:08:04.080 --> 0:08:05.200 I don't know what does it look like for you? 0:08:05.280 --> 0:08:08.480 It is well for me, it's it's for people. For 0:08:08.480 --> 0:08:10.680 for men that are going through what I have gone 0:08:10.680 --> 0:08:13.520 through and things that I'm going through now, it's it is. 0:08:13.600 --> 0:08:15.520 It is tough. I ain't gonna lie. It's not that easy. 0:08:15.560 --> 0:08:19.080 I mean right now, you know. Finally add percent been divorced. 0:08:19.080 --> 0:08:21.800 I've been married. I was married for almost dated for 0:08:21.800 --> 0:08:24.200 almost ten years and almost married for ten years. So 0:08:24.200 --> 0:08:26.200 I was with with with my ex Kelly for almost 0:08:26.200 --> 0:08:29.920 twenty years. Uh. Been has been separated for about two 0:08:30.000 --> 0:08:32.360 years now. It's been over about six years now. Been 0:08:32.360 --> 0:08:34.480 divorced in a sense separating divorce from about five to 0:08:34.520 --> 0:08:38.360 six years now. But it's crazy because it's good and bad. 0:08:38.400 --> 0:08:41.400 It's really weird because for what we have now is 0:08:41.440 --> 0:08:42.800 you know, a lot of times I do travel, and 0:08:42.840 --> 0:08:44.719 I do work a lot, and mostly my ex will 0:08:44.800 --> 0:08:47.240 take care of the girls because I do travel. Now 0:08:47.240 --> 0:08:49.880 that my other one obviously is older, she is obviously 0:08:49.920 --> 0:08:52.280 a lot more free. She's nineteen, she goes to college. Okay, 0:08:52.280 --> 0:08:54.120 with that, get to understand that it's a little bit 0:08:54.320 --> 0:08:57.400 easier with the ten year old I right now. We've 0:08:57.440 --> 0:08:59.600 been doing it since the pandemic happened. You know, there 0:08:59.600 --> 0:09:01.120 were times, like I said, when I work now that 0:09:01.160 --> 0:09:03.600 things haven't been happening, and I haven't been working. I've 0:09:03.640 --> 0:09:06.560 been taking care of my kids two weeks, two weeks on, 0:09:06.640 --> 0:09:08.880 two weeks off, so I'll have my girls, I'll have 0:09:08.960 --> 0:09:11.480 Chloe two weeks on, and like now, the next two 0:09:11.480 --> 0:09:14.680 weeks I have off, I don't have them. And also 0:09:14.720 --> 0:09:17.360 on top of that, I also have a girlfriend that 0:09:17.360 --> 0:09:19.080 I've been dating from the past four and a half 0:09:19.200 --> 0:09:22.000 five years almost now almost six actually, uh, And it's 0:09:22.000 --> 0:09:25.000 been crazy because the fact that you know, she lives 0:09:25.000 --> 0:09:27.240 in l A. And everything's been going on in l A. 0:09:27.640 --> 0:09:29.360 She just a couple about a month or so ago. 0:09:29.440 --> 0:09:32.120 She actually flew to spend time with her mom, who 0:09:32.160 --> 0:09:34.880 lives about an hour so away from me. So that's 0:09:34.920 --> 0:09:36.560 kind of a good thing for me in the best 0:09:36.559 --> 0:09:38.400 of both worlds. But the hardest part, I would say 0:09:38.400 --> 0:09:41.440 honestly is really juggling that time, but also on top 0:09:41.480 --> 0:09:44.760 of that how to avoid and deal with the pandemic 0:09:44.840 --> 0:09:47.240 and not you know, okay, my say friends is okay, 0:09:47.240 --> 0:09:49.240 my girlfriend's been with her mom, but her mom has 0:09:49.240 --> 0:09:51.320 been out maybe somewhere, so I can't really be with 0:09:51.360 --> 0:09:52.920 her all the time. So it's a lot of face 0:09:52.920 --> 0:09:55.920 time and a lot of conversation, um, you know, dealing 0:09:55.920 --> 0:09:58.080 with the kids. It's it's that day to day basis. 0:09:58.320 --> 0:09:59.800 And again, like I was about to say earlier, is 0:09:59.800 --> 0:10:02.080 with the math problems. There's certain things that I don't 0:10:02.080 --> 0:10:04.360 know and I'm like, Chloe, I don't know what to 0:10:04.400 --> 0:10:06.439 tell you, like I don't even know the answer or 0:10:06.480 --> 0:10:08.680 how to do this. So and the nice things about 0:10:08.720 --> 0:10:11.199 is the teachers have been really helpful during obviously the 0:10:11.240 --> 0:10:13.760 school year, so they've been really helpful with the with 0:10:13.800 --> 0:10:15.760 the with the point of like you know, give us 0:10:15.760 --> 0:10:17.600 the call or let us know, you know what, we'll 0:10:17.600 --> 0:10:19.760 try to help you out one on one. So it's 0:10:19.800 --> 0:10:22.160 been a crazy thing for me to juggle because I mean, 0:10:22.200 --> 0:10:24.760 think about it, you know, get people always say celebrities, Oh, 0:10:24.800 --> 0:10:26.040 you know, you got it easy, and you know you've 0:10:26.040 --> 0:10:28.200 got tons of money and you can do this. Okay, 0:10:28.200 --> 0:10:30.719 I get that. But when you have a divorce, when 0:10:30.760 --> 0:10:33.360 you're dealing with kids, when you're dealing with a girlfriend, 0:10:33.400 --> 0:10:35.640 when you're dealing with your own personal things in your 0:10:35.640 --> 0:10:37.760 personal life, and then you go, oh, I have I 0:10:37.840 --> 0:10:39.560 have to deal with a career on top of that. 0:10:40.400 --> 0:10:45.160 It does take a lot of um compartmentalizing, putting things 0:10:45.200 --> 0:10:47.679 in certain places and going okay, I have to deal 0:10:47.720 --> 0:10:49.480 with this right now, and then I gotta put that 0:10:49.480 --> 0:10:51.080 away and deal and put a new hat on and 0:10:51.080 --> 0:10:53.120 put the you know, the dad hat, and what do 0:10:53.160 --> 0:10:55.200 I have to do with that? You know? It's it 0:10:55.320 --> 0:10:57.319 is so crazy. It's like eighty million things. Especially in 0:10:57.320 --> 0:10:58.920 my ten year old now, it's more or less of going, 0:10:59.440 --> 0:11:01.960 you know, to give you a crazy day, it would 0:11:01.960 --> 0:11:04.760 be like, all right, we're getting up, you do the breakfast, 0:11:05.040 --> 0:11:08.160 you do this, get your bed, I gotta get ready 0:11:08.160 --> 0:11:10.360 for this. Oh my gosh, you're going through puberty now, 0:11:10.360 --> 0:11:11.720 and your arm pits of this and that. How do 0:11:11.760 --> 0:11:13.560 I have this conversation with you when you're ten years 0:11:13.600 --> 0:11:15.720 old and you're a girl, But you need to trim that. 0:11:15.800 --> 0:11:18.040 But how do I tell you that? And I'm a god, 0:11:18.120 --> 0:11:21.080 it is insane. And that's just at the beginning of 0:11:21.080 --> 0:11:22.600 the morning, you know, and then you gotta go throughout 0:11:22.600 --> 0:11:24.120 the whole day of other things as well. So it's 0:11:24.559 --> 0:11:27.880 the question for me to compartmentalize like that. Do you 0:11:27.960 --> 0:11:30.360 do you like, actually make a schedule, like a home 0:11:30.360 --> 0:11:35.839 schedule like before nine I'm I'm horrible with schedules. I 0:11:35.880 --> 0:11:37.800 will say that because even now me right now, and 0:11:38.080 --> 0:11:40.120 I'm learning more and more as I do it, because 0:11:40.120 --> 0:11:42.400 back in the day with the STINC, I was always scheduled. 0:11:42.400 --> 0:11:44.199 It was a schedule to do everything you hate you 0:11:44.280 --> 0:11:46.520 do this. Now that I have my own time, I 0:11:46.520 --> 0:11:48.680 can make my own schedule, I tend to be more 0:11:49.120 --> 0:11:52.920 relaxed a little bit more. But I will say, especially 0:11:52.920 --> 0:11:55.280 when it comes to the kids, I make sure their 0:11:55.320 --> 0:11:58.240 stuff is first and prior before anything that I do. Really, 0:11:58.280 --> 0:12:00.120 majority of the time, it's always are you at a 0:12:00.160 --> 0:12:01.840 dentist appotment or you got at school, you got this, 0:12:01.920 --> 0:12:04.440 you got that? Let us let that's my that's my 0:12:04.480 --> 0:12:06.200 goal for that day. You know, a lot of times, 0:12:06.320 --> 0:12:08.120 especially for me, again, it is a little bit easier 0:12:08.160 --> 0:12:10.240 for me because when I am home, I don't work 0:12:10.280 --> 0:12:13.280 as much period. But now that things can slow down, 0:12:13.320 --> 0:12:16.000 I haven't done correct. So it's like almost my whole 0:12:16.080 --> 0:12:18.240 year as a wash. And it's like, now, you know, 0:12:18.559 --> 0:12:20.520 next year is going to be definitely different because it's 0:12:20.520 --> 0:12:23.000 picking up the pieces as far as working. Common knowledge 0:12:23.040 --> 0:12:24.560 is coming back from that kind of stuff. Again, I'm 0:12:24.600 --> 0:12:26.400 gonna be in California. How do I deal with my 0:12:26.480 --> 0:12:28.800 kids and that as well. So it's again it's a 0:12:28.920 --> 0:12:33.240 very um it's never a dull moment. It's never the 0:12:33.360 --> 0:12:37.480 same for parents that know that you know, and obviously 0:12:37.640 --> 0:12:42.000 we want consistency, we want repetition because it helps them 0:12:42.040 --> 0:12:44.320 in their daily life. I think as they get older 0:12:44.480 --> 0:12:47.240 to have some sort of consistency in their life. I 0:12:47.280 --> 0:12:50.720 think for kids, you know, and even though you know, 0:12:50.840 --> 0:12:53.559 my stuff is a little out whacked, but there is consistency. 0:12:53.640 --> 0:12:56.600 Every two two weeks, she goes to to to Kelly 0:12:56.679 --> 0:12:58.440 every two we every you know, the next two weeks 0:12:58.440 --> 0:13:00.520 she's with me, you know, and we we we kind 0:13:00.520 --> 0:13:02.000 of make sure we And that's the other thing I 0:13:02.080 --> 0:13:04.440 make sure I talked to Kelly on getting the same 0:13:05.600 --> 0:13:08.120 uh regiment. If you will you know what kind of 0:13:08.120 --> 0:13:10.160 foods do they like? What kind of things? I don't 0:13:10.160 --> 0:13:11.680 just go off of what I like and what I do, 0:13:11.760 --> 0:13:13.600 but I'm always like, you know, what are the things 0:13:13.640 --> 0:13:15.320 that they really like and really want to do. So 0:13:15.400 --> 0:13:17.600 we're on the same page and when they come over here, 0:13:17.600 --> 0:13:20.079 they're getting the same exact kind of thing as they 0:13:20.120 --> 0:13:23.960 are in the other household. Because again, my daughter Chloe's 0:13:23.960 --> 0:13:26.280 on the spectrum of autism, not that she's not that 0:13:26.320 --> 0:13:29.960 she's not completely disconnected or you know, not verbal. She's verbal, 0:13:30.000 --> 0:13:31.920 and she she does talk to people. She doesn't make 0:13:31.920 --> 0:13:34.200 a whole lot of my contactical at times, but there 0:13:34.240 --> 0:13:36.440 are certain things that do not connect, and that's also 0:13:36.480 --> 0:13:38.560 puts a strain on people. And how do you deal 0:13:38.600 --> 0:13:40.320 with that and figure that out? And for a while, 0:13:40.320 --> 0:13:42.560 I had so much patience when I was young. As 0:13:42.559 --> 0:13:44.840 I got older for some reason, I'm like, I have 0:13:44.880 --> 0:13:47.520 no patience for this anymore. And then as I'm getting 0:13:47.559 --> 0:13:49.520 even older now you start to realize, Okay, what's the 0:13:49.520 --> 0:13:52.240 balance of I have patience for this, but I don't 0:13:52.240 --> 0:13:53.840 have patience for this right now. But I need to 0:13:53.840 --> 0:13:55.840 take a time to figure it out. You know, that 0:13:55.960 --> 0:13:58.040 kind of thing the more. The more dads I talked 0:13:58.040 --> 0:14:00.800 to him, we have a couple on the show, Um, 0:14:00.880 --> 0:14:04.120 they'll all reiterate the same thing, and it sounds like, what, Um, 0:14:04.120 --> 0:14:07.160 what you're saying is that there's no perfect dad, there's 0:14:07.160 --> 0:14:09.600 no perfect way to do it. But we no book, 0:14:09.640 --> 0:14:11.800 there's no real book. We leave with our hearts and 0:14:11.800 --> 0:14:13.920 we try the best we can and you're gonna make 0:14:13.960 --> 0:14:17.280 mistakes except that and know that. And um, but I've 0:14:17.360 --> 0:14:19.520 every dad that I've ever met, I've never questioned their 0:14:19.520 --> 0:14:21.400 heart and their intention. But they all say, yeah, we're 0:14:21.400 --> 0:14:23.200 not perfect, but I love my kids and they'll do 0:14:23.240 --> 0:14:25.200 anything for him. So oh yeah, I mean, you know what. 0:14:25.280 --> 0:14:27.560 And it's so weird and and it's it's odd for 0:14:27.600 --> 0:14:29.800 me to say this, and I even say and it's 0:14:29.800 --> 0:14:32.480 not odd for me I should say. But what what 0:14:32.560 --> 0:14:35.600 I'm about to say is is definitely something that I 0:14:35.640 --> 0:14:38.360 have learned over the years later on especially being a 0:14:38.920 --> 0:14:41.600 divorce family. And even if you're not divorced and you're 0:14:41.600 --> 0:14:44.360 still obviously what your spouse and everything is going great, 0:14:45.120 --> 0:14:47.520 give the time for your spouse, whether it be the 0:14:47.560 --> 0:14:50.200 male or female or whatever. What you're under your roof 0:14:50.320 --> 0:14:52.680 is give that time to say, hey, you know what, 0:14:52.880 --> 0:14:54.400 I'm going to take the kids or the kid or 0:14:54.440 --> 0:14:57.880 whatever for the weekend, or you know what, you go somewhere, 0:14:58.280 --> 0:15:03.560 give each spouse a chance to kind of recharge their batteries, 0:15:04.200 --> 0:15:06.920 because nobody's just like you said, nobody's perfect. We get angry, 0:15:06.920 --> 0:15:08.960 we can do this, We do that. We all need 0:15:09.040 --> 0:15:12.960 downtime to ourselves, whether that be either watching TV all day, 0:15:13.080 --> 0:15:15.160 going to play golf, going to a hotel and reading 0:15:15.160 --> 0:15:17.800 a book, whatever. Then that sense maybe in your zen, 0:15:18.360 --> 0:15:21.760 I think it does give the other person a break. 0:15:21.800 --> 0:15:23.840 And I never noticed that when I was younger, because 0:15:24.080 --> 0:15:27.400 I was always traveling within saying my ex was always 0:15:27.400 --> 0:15:29.440 with my with the kids, and it was always you know, 0:15:29.480 --> 0:15:30.680 well the kids did this and this and that, and 0:15:30.680 --> 0:15:32.280 I'm always like, y, yeah, but you can deal with it. 0:15:32.760 --> 0:15:35.880 And it's it's not that easy. Everybody there. People realized 0:15:35.920 --> 0:15:38.840 and don't really think that, especially especially when when I 0:15:38.840 --> 0:15:41.640 got divorced. I became mom and dad when I got home. 0:15:42.240 --> 0:15:46.280 So when I when I'm home by myself, I'm like, like, 0:15:46.400 --> 0:15:49.160 legit part of my friendsman, I'm like, oh, I gotta cook, 0:15:49.400 --> 0:15:52.240 I gotta get them ready for school. I have to 0:15:52.320 --> 0:15:55.840 make sure, the house is you know, livable. Let's be real, 0:15:56.320 --> 0:15:57.840 you know. And again, and I'm not the type of 0:15:57.840 --> 0:15:59.400 person that's gonna be like, oh well, I have maids 0:15:59.440 --> 0:16:01.520 to do this, I have people to do that. I 0:16:01.520 --> 0:16:03.120 don't do that kind of crap. I mean, even when 0:16:03.120 --> 0:16:05.960 we had our children, I had a babysitter. I never 0:16:05.960 --> 0:16:08.920 had a nanny. And that's just that's just our personal preference. Again, 0:16:09.120 --> 0:16:11.320 everybody is different and the way they were raised, it's 0:16:11.360 --> 0:16:13.200 just different things. And the way I was raised, you know, 0:16:13.520 --> 0:16:15.360 I was raised by my mom and dad, and that's 0:16:15.400 --> 0:16:17.960 the way it was. Do we have babysiting, We have babysitters, 0:16:18.000 --> 0:16:19.440 but we were just you know, it's the way we 0:16:19.480 --> 0:16:23.640 do it. And again, it's like for me, it's very um, 0:16:23.880 --> 0:16:26.080 it was definitely a challenging thing. But I I tell 0:16:26.120 --> 0:16:29.440 all people that have been married or still married or whatever, 0:16:29.920 --> 0:16:32.360 give some time for your spouse to take a break 0:16:32.480 --> 0:16:36.720 to disconnect. Uh and trust me, that person will thank you, 0:16:36.800 --> 0:16:39.840 but maybe not by saying thank you, but you'll notice 0:16:39.960 --> 0:16:42.560 in the how they react to certain things, you know. 0:16:43.280 --> 0:16:45.640 And again, I know it's tough sometimes and it's not easy, 0:16:45.680 --> 0:16:47.520 and you know, we go through different things or who 0:16:47.560 --> 0:16:49.800 the hell want to want to watch the kids seven? 0:16:49.840 --> 0:16:52.680 You know, when you're working all day Monday through Friday, 0:16:52.760 --> 0:16:54.840 nine to five. You know, I get I get it. 0:16:54.920 --> 0:16:56.400 But you know what, in the long run, it does 0:16:56.440 --> 0:16:59.120 pay off to do stuff like that, whether you're divorced 0:16:59.160 --> 0:17:02.520 or whether you're still together. Amazing, man, amazing. Eastern Question 0:17:02.560 --> 0:17:07.159 number two. All right, this is from Erica. How do 0:17:07.280 --> 0:17:09.520 men feel about dating when they have kids from our 0:17:09.560 --> 0:17:12.320 previous relationship? Do they feel it's important to take the 0:17:12.359 --> 0:17:17.760 time to introduce kids to the new relationship. It's tough. 0:17:18.200 --> 0:17:20.439 My rule for what what we did, believe it or not. 0:17:20.440 --> 0:17:21.879 I don't know if this is gonna work for everybody, 0:17:21.920 --> 0:17:24.280 but I can only speak for myself. Is we had 0:17:24.320 --> 0:17:27.640 it to where we? You know, again, people are still dating, 0:17:27.680 --> 0:17:30.000 and when you get divorced, people date other people and 0:17:30.040 --> 0:17:32.320 you don't never know that person is going to be 0:17:32.400 --> 0:17:35.720 there all the time. And you don't want to introduce 0:17:35.760 --> 0:17:38.080 your kids to somebody that maybe for there for one 0:17:38.119 --> 0:17:39.679 week and then a new person is gonna be there 0:17:39.680 --> 0:17:41.200 the next week. You know, you don't You don't want 0:17:41.200 --> 0:17:44.280