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Speaker 1: My husband's ex died and he wants to attend her funeral.

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Speaker 2: Not on my watch.

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Speaker 1: He's in for surprise, you know, give him a break.

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Speaker 1: No breaks, no breaks?

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Speaker 2: Can we can?

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Speaker 1: We can have one break, no break, one break? On

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Speaker 1: the show says period. What if she comes back from

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Speaker 1: the dead as a ghost and he falls in love

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Speaker 1: with her. I'll admit I'm biased right off the bat.

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Speaker 1: I couldn't freaking stand her. Ooh, I call her his

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Speaker 1: ex to myself and others. He called her his friend, So.

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Speaker 2: What that's funny.

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Speaker 1: We're in our early forties. She died recently, aneurysm. I've

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Speaker 1: been with him for ten years now, but he'd known

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Speaker 1: her for twenty plus. The way he tells it, they

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Speaker 1: were friends in college, decided to date, got married, then

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Speaker 1: realized they weren't a great couple, and decided to just

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Speaker 1: be friends. All that happened years before I met him,

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Speaker 1: and he was very clear early on that she was

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Speaker 1: quote unquote important. Hmmm. A couple months into dating, it

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Speaker 1: came up that his friend was actually his ex wife.

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Speaker 2: Oh no.

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Speaker 1: He explained the above to me, saying she was one

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Speaker 1: of his closest friends and that it was purely platonic.

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Speaker 1: I expressed some discomfort at him being so close to

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Speaker 1: an ex, and he told me that's fine. If you

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Speaker 1: have a serious issue with it, let me know and

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Speaker 1: save us some time. I'll choose her. I like you

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Speaker 1: and all, but I've known her for over twelve years

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Speaker 1: and she's one of the most important people in my life.

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Speaker 1: You'll have to be okay with that if you want

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Speaker 1: us to be a thing.

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Speaker 2: Wow, man said, he's laying it down. Bro yo.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, no no room for like this, No, no wiggle room.

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Speaker 2: No, there's no same oart time. Yeah, let it. Let

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Speaker 2: me end us.

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Speaker 1: Damn.

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Speaker 2: When we were engaged, I asked again.

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Speaker 1: He gave me this perplexed look and asked, why would

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Speaker 1: us getting married affect my friendships?

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Speaker 2: I mean kind of true, Yeah, this is funny.

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Speaker 1: When we were engaged, I sucked it up and went along,

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Speaker 1: and I resented every moment of knowing her, especially when

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Speaker 1: we had to be social. She understood some part of

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Speaker 1: him I couldn't. Her husband was friends with mine as well,

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Speaker 1: so it's not like I could use him as an angle.

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Speaker 1: Her husband was friends with mine as well, so she's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: maybe I could use her husband to make my husband jealous,

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Speaker 1: like as an My god, that's terrible. He'd have lunch

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Speaker 1: with his ex. They'd go to geeky movies and whatever.

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Speaker 1: A few times I brought it up, and he said,

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Speaker 1: we had this conversation before you had your chance to

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Speaker 1: back out. She died after they had lunch the other

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Speaker 1: day on the way to her car.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: He spent a bunch of time crying, but honestly I

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Speaker 1: was relieved.

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Speaker 2: Ah oh.

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Speaker 1: He was working with her husband on funeral planning. I

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Speaker 1: told him, you don't think you're going, do you? My

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Speaker 1: argument summed up. She's dead, so she's not a factor anymore.

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Speaker 1: He doesn't get to use his she's my friend excuse

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Speaker 1: since she doesn't exist anymore. He had his cry for

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Speaker 1: a couple of days, but he needs to get done

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Speaker 1: with mourning her already. There's no need for him to

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Speaker 1: go to her funeral, since I wouldn't want her at

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Speaker 1: his Oh wow, freaking delusions.

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Speaker 2: So speechless right now.

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Speaker 1: He was the angriest I've ever seen him when I

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Speaker 1: told him that, replying that he'll be going no matter

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Speaker 1: how I feel, and that he's willing to burn this

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Speaker 1: to the fucking ground while holding up his wedding band.

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Speaker 1: Besides you, she was the closest friend of my life. Him,

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Speaker 1: her husband, and my sisters are calling me an insensitive

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Speaker 1: asshole over this, all, saying that there's no romantic aspect

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Speaker 1: to their relationship and that I'm heartless. Her husband went

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Speaker 1: so far as calling me a ghoul for how I've acted.

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Speaker 1: I never felt the relationship was appropriate, and I hid

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Speaker 1: that for years because I wanted to be with my husband.

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Speaker 1: Now that she's gone, I don't feel like I should

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Speaker 1: have it anymore, and I can speak freely about the bitch,

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Speaker 1: the a hole for wanting him to be done with

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Speaker 1: her and for him to not attend the funeral.

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Speaker 2: Oh, it sounds like she was nothing.

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Speaker 1: But like completely kind too, Like that's what's crazy about this?

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Speaker 2: Oh the the dead ex.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Like it sounds like she was like like super nice. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean wow, op is just I never heard like

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Speaker 1: like this is gaping, gaping asshole.

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Speaker 2: Like you could you could drive a truck.

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Speaker 1: Oh okay, this giant, yeah, carrier plane, just anything.

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Speaker 3: To wow, I've I've you would you would think, I

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Speaker 3: don't know, you would just think common sense would kick

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Speaker 3: in and.

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Speaker 1: Be like hmm, ever kick in Come on, that's true.

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Speaker 2: What am I? What am I talking about?

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Speaker 1: Come on? God?

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Speaker 2: Wow?

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Speaker 1: Well that's it. Case closed, Okayop, this is Okayop. I'm

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Speaker 1: Samuel Daughter and I'm John Fry and we tell the

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Speaker 1: funniest stories on the internet. And John, I have a

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Speaker 1: crazy story for you.

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Speaker 2: Take it away.

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Speaker 1: Entitled mom tries to deny her dying son his wish

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Speaker 1: and tries to kill him because the books I got

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Speaker 1: him were.

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Speaker 2: Satanic somemb parents.

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Speaker 3: You know, some some moms, it's crazy son because of

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Speaker 3: a book.

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Speaker 1: The only person where the only thing we're sure of

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Speaker 1: that Titanic is Adam Levine. And you should follow us

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Speaker 1: on TikTok so we can beat his TikTok into oblivion.

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Speaker 2: Do it. Yeah, it's a backstory.

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Speaker 1: I I've been a D and D group with a

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Speaker 1: couple of friends from nearby, and one of the members

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Speaker 1: of the group was a kid who was about fifteen

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Speaker 1: years old. He's really sweet, likes helping people out, and

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Speaker 1: he's a big fan of dungeons and dragons. Big fan

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Speaker 1: so a door yeah, big nerd dude. He also has

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Speaker 1: cancer in both funs.

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Speaker 2: Oh god.

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Speaker 3: Wow.

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Speaker 1: He's from a religious family that basically forces him to

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Speaker 1: act pure while he's in their sight. The mom is

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Speaker 1: Westborough Baptist Church level rapping.

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Speaker 2: Oh dear well.

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Speaker 1: The dad is just a sensible person who tries to

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Speaker 1: get him to be a good kid when he's outside

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Speaker 1: of his parents, though he just does normal teen stuff.

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Speaker 1: Because of his mom, the only books he was allowed

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Speaker 1: to own were Christian books and Bibles. Man can't even

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Speaker 1: have textbooks.

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Speaker 2: Reading the Bible.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, he joined her group mainly as a way

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Speaker 1: to escape his home life and his mom. So which

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Speaker 1: understandable because that sounds like hell, yeah, it doesn't sound fun.

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Speaker 1: A couple of weeks ago, the cancer in his lungs

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Speaker 1: started to get to him, so he was taken to

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Speaker 1: a hospital by his parents. He contacted me about this

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Speaker 1: a day after he was taken to the hospital, stating

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Speaker 1: that he wanted a Monster Manual as his last wish,

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Speaker 1: his dying wish, stating that he was tired of reading

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Speaker 1: the same things. I bought him the book from Barnes

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Speaker 1: and Nobles, but considered that he's a dying team at all.

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Speaker 2: I got him.

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Speaker 1: Volo's Guide to Monsters and Martina Cadnan's Thorm of Foes,

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Speaker 1: stacked up on that so the good stuff, that good

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Speaker 1: stuff good.

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Speaker 2: That's not good.

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Speaker 1: It is the next day, which was his birthday, he

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Speaker 1: was still in the hospital, so I brought him the

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Speaker 1: books as a gift. After he blew out the candles,

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Speaker 1: we had a cake and he started opening gifts. Mine

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Speaker 1: was the first to be opened. Sam, are you hungry?

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Speaker 2: Literally?

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Speaker 1: John, I am always starving. I could like swallow twenty

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Speaker 1: cucumbers right now.

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Speaker 3: Well, Sam, I know you love gobbling down them cucumbers.

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Speaker 3: But look, eating healthy doesn't mean you have to be sloppy, Samuel.

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Speaker 3: The best way to eat fresh is with Hello Fresh

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Speaker 3: so easy.

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Speaker 1: We should cancel all grocery stores and move them to

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Speaker 1: a deserted island because HelloFresh is way more convenient, and

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Speaker 1: they send meals right to your door.

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Speaker 2: Brouh. Of course it is.

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Speaker 3: It's only fifteen minutes to make those delicious, delicious meals.

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Speaker 2: But Sam, that ain't all? How could that not? Atb all?

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Speaker 2: Oh we got more.

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Speaker 3: I'm talking creamy darlic, spinach Navio.

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Speaker 1: I'm talking barbecue ribs, bobblow back in cheese, cranberried tom

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Speaker 1: roasted chicken. They go and we have the greatest deal, Sam,

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Speaker 1: the greatest on the.

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Speaker 2: History of planet Earth.

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Speaker 2: Five percent off plus free shipping.

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Speaker 3: plus free shipping.

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Speaker 2: Hello Fresh is America's number one milkit. Baby knocks baby.

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Speaker 1: Seeing what they were, he immediately got this humongous grin

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Speaker 1: on his face and hugged me. Meanwhile, his mom stared

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Speaker 1: down in the books with a look of pure disgust,

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Speaker 1: with her husband staring at her with the wary look

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Speaker 1: in his eyes, like this husband's just like done, is

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Speaker 1: the bomb.

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Speaker 3: About to go off? Also, like what kind of mom?

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Speaker 3: Your son is literally dying?

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Speaker 2: Like yeah, let them have to them freaking book.

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Speaker 1: But she does not let him have the book. She

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Speaker 1: picks up one of the books and relights one of

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Speaker 1: the candles and holds the damn book over it to

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Speaker 1: try to set it on fire.

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Speaker 2: A man to stop her and demand, what the f

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Speaker 2: are you doing?

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Speaker 1: He asked me to get those books and I'm not

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Speaker 1: going to let you take them away. His mom simply

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Speaker 1: stared me down and said something along the lines of

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Speaker 1: the books are sinful and satanic and full of evil,

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Speaker 1: and that our son has no business with them, and

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Speaker 1: say that her son can read what the heck he

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Speaker 1: wants and that she shouldn't have to force him to

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Speaker 1: be Christian for real. She starts getting red in the

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Speaker 1: face and yelling at me about essentially forcing children to

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Speaker 1: believe in God from a young age. I state that

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Speaker 1: I'm Baptists, which I actually am, and say that faith

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Speaker 1: in God is a matter between God and the individual

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Speaker 1: facts facts. She turns read all over and actively starts

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Speaker 1: to destroy the books with me, my friend, and her husband.

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Speaker 1: The husband gets in the mix, trying to stop her.

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Speaker 1: At one point, I shouted, would God want you to

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Speaker 1: do this to restrict your dying son's freedom of expression?

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Speaker 2: Literally? That writes her question.

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Speaker 1: But the thing is this just sets her effing a blaze.

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Speaker 2: It would would?

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Speaker 1: She tosses the books aside and starts trying to strangle

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Speaker 1: her son, and her husband calls security immediately when she

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Speaker 1: does this. Security gets here within about a minute of

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Speaker 1: the two of us trying to pride title mom off

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Speaker 1: her son and drag her away with her shouting that

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Speaker 1: we're all Caddamites to the devil. Both her husband and

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Speaker 1: my friend charge her with child abuse, assault, and attempted murder.

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Speaker 1: Good trial still going and I'll try to update this

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Speaker 1: post as the trial goes on.