1 00:00:08,360 --> 00:00:16,600 Speaker 1: Sure hell level level Lo. Hello, welcome to the special 2 00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:20,440 Speaker 1: weekend edition of the Naughty but Nice Podcast. I'm your host, 3 00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:23,360 Speaker 1: job Shooter, and as well as being a gossip kellamist 4 00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:27,800 Speaker 1: and entertainment reporter, I'm also a best selling author and 5 00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:32,960 Speaker 1: an expert in habits, change and self help. So on 6 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:35,920 Speaker 1: the weekends we do these short shows, only about ten 7 00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:39,360 Speaker 1: minutes long, but they've turned out to be so popular, 8 00:00:39,479 --> 00:00:42,320 Speaker 1: I'm going to keep doing them as long as you 9 00:00:42,479 --> 00:00:48,120 Speaker 1: keep listening. Let's jump into today show. By the time 10 00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:54,720 Speaker 1: they support you, you realize you never actually ever needed them. 11 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:57,640 Speaker 1: I used to be one of those people who needed 12 00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:02,440 Speaker 1: everybody to love and support me. I wasn't happy unless 13 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:07,399 Speaker 1: I felt like folks that I didn't even know supported me. 14 00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:13,039 Speaker 1: I was so desperate for everybody else's approval that eventually 15 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:18,360 Speaker 1: I disappeared. I was immobilized by fear of what other 16 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:23,240 Speaker 1: people might think. I dimmed my own light rather than 17 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:28,959 Speaker 1: risk being seen as the real MEA even a comment 18 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:32,640 Speaker 1: on my Facebook page had the power to devastate me, 19 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:36,679 Speaker 1: to the point that I second guessed every single new 20 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:39,920 Speaker 1: post I put up. And it wasn't just onlyne that 21 00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:44,360 Speaker 1: I started to disappear. I became invisible in my real 22 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:48,840 Speaker 1: life too. At work, I found myself speaking out less 23 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:52,600 Speaker 1: and less, and in my private life I almost stopped 24 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:56,120 Speaker 1: getting off the couch and going out at all. What 25 00:01:56,240 --> 00:02:01,520 Speaker 1: I was doing was censoring myself in order to censor 26 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:06,600 Speaker 1: how other people reacted to me. In the end, it 27 00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:11,080 Speaker 1: was like I completely vanished, leaving behind nothing for anyone 28 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:16,880 Speaker 1: to like or dislike. Does that sound familiar? Jim Carrey 29 00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:21,840 Speaker 1: said the following quote. Your need for acceptance can make 30 00:02:21,919 --> 00:02:27,040 Speaker 1: you invisible in this world. Don't let anything stand in 31 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:31,120 Speaker 1: the way of the light that shines through this form. 32 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:36,600 Speaker 1: Risk being seen in all your glory trying to win 33 00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:40,040 Speaker 1: people over who aren't on board. It's a full time 34 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:44,839 Speaker 1: game that you are guaranteed to lois If you find 35 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:48,720 Speaker 1: yourself quickly swiping by all the people who are supporting 36 00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:51,720 Speaker 1: you online just so that you can find the one 37 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:55,919 Speaker 1: who doesn't, you know you have a problem. Obsessing about 38 00:02:55,919 --> 00:03:00,320 Speaker 1: that one negative comment all day long while ignoring all 39 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:03,720 Speaker 1: the positive ones is a total waste of time. Time 40 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:07,160 Speaker 1: you're never going to get back. Think about it. If 41 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:11,560 Speaker 1: you spend just thirty minutes a day thinking about people 42 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:15,080 Speaker 1: who disapprove and let's be honest, we all probably spend 43 00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:18,600 Speaker 1: a little longer than that. That adds up to over 44 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:22,400 Speaker 1: two hundred hours per week. That is over ten thousand 45 00:03:22,480 --> 00:03:26,799 Speaker 1: minutes per year. You are wasting one week of your 46 00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:31,160 Speaker 1: life every three hundred and sixty five days, or because 47 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:34,440 Speaker 1: you don't feel important enough to know that you don't 48 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:40,400 Speaker 1: need them. Ariana Grande said the following quote. I worked 49 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:44,360 Speaker 1: with somebody who told me they're never like me, but 50 00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:48,400 Speaker 1: for some reason, I just felt like I needed her approval, 51 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:53,760 Speaker 1: so I started changing myself to please her. It made 52 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:58,240 Speaker 1: me stop being social and friendly. It made me so unhappy. 53 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:02,840 Speaker 1: There are many many reasons people don't support you, but 54 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:06,000 Speaker 1: at the end of the day, it doesn't matter. You 55 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:09,800 Speaker 1: are not going to change them. But you can change you. 56 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:14,080 Speaker 1: Get rid of the idea that you must please others 57 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:18,719 Speaker 1: and start focusing on pleasing the only person who really 58 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:23,880 Speaker 1: truly matters, yourself. When you live your life without needing 59 00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:27,000 Speaker 1: the approval of others, not only do you get back 60 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:30,960 Speaker 1: an enormous amount of wasted time, but you also get 61 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:34,800 Speaker 1: back all those hours to focus on you and what 62 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:39,720 Speaker 1: you think. The only person you need to please is yourself. 63 00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:43,280 Speaker 1: Listen to your instincts and see what happens when you 64 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:48,920 Speaker 1: realize that you never needed anybody else. Raquel Welsh may 65 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:52,240 Speaker 1: she rest in peace said the following quote. Once you 66 00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:54,240 Speaker 1: get rid of the idea that you must please other 67 00:04:54,279 --> 00:04:57,599 Speaker 1: people before you please yourself, and you begin to follow 68 00:04:57,640 --> 00:05:01,920 Speaker 1: your own instincts, only then can you be happy and successful. 69 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:07,920 Speaker 1: Watch once you no longer need their approval. Guess what's 70 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:10,640 Speaker 1: going to happen. You're gonna get it. And when you 71 00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:13,799 Speaker 1: learn that there's only an audience of one, other people 72 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:16,520 Speaker 1: are going to want a seat at that performance called 73 00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:21,600 Speaker 1: your life too. By the time they decide to support you, 74 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:24,839 Speaker 1: you already have all the support you will ever need 75 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:32,120 Speaker 1: from the most important person in the world. You. Let's 76 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:36,040 Speaker 1: end with a great quote from Pam Anderson quote, Eventually 77 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:40,440 Speaker 1: you just have to realize that you're living for an 78 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:45,680 Speaker 1: audience of one. I'm not here for anyone else's approval. 79 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:51,440 Speaker 1: By the time they support you realize you never ever 80 00:05:51,839 --> 00:05:55,680 Speaker 1: needed them at all. Thank you so much for listening 81 00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:58,480 Speaker 1: to these short weekend editions of the NORN Even I Show. 82 00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:00,760 Speaker 1: My name is Rob Shooter. Monday Friday, we give you 83 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:03,279 Speaker 1: all the best celebrity news, all the best celebrity gossip, 84 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:06,520 Speaker 1: and on the weekends we give you these hopefully inspiring, 85 00:06:06,839 --> 00:06:11,280 Speaker 1: short little podcast Thank you so much for listening to them. 86 00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:14,920 Speaker 1: I am so so grateful, and remember altogether now, if 87 00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:19,200 Speaker 1: you're going to be an auty, you've got to be nice. 88 00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:26,120 Speaker 1: Take care everybody. I shall see you on Monday. It's 89 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:28,040 Speaker 1: start even nice with Bro