Speaker 1: Hello the Internet, and welcome to the first annual inaugural
Speaker 1: year Tournament of Stories of the Year, Tournament of Champions.
Speaker 1: And that is the full name Year Tournament Stories of
Speaker 1: the Year, Tournament of Champion of Champions. My name is
Speaker 1: Jack O'Brien. I am joined, of course, by my esteemed
Speaker 1: colleague co commissioner of this league of story competitors, mister.
Speaker 2: This thought came to us in the middle of the night,
Speaker 2: and we're like, what if we pit all our fun
Speaker 2: stories against each other and proclaim one the champion of
Speaker 2: the year.
Speaker 1: And we've got some fun ones, Like we.
Speaker 2: Got the election, we had to take some. We definitely
Speaker 2: wanted to take some out because let's be real, we
Speaker 2: we get that part. So maybe let's look back at
Speaker 2: the fun goofy shit this year.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so that's this first episode is going to be
Speaker 1: us selecting the field, maybe doing some seeding of the
Speaker 1: field for the ultimate tournament. We're looking at a sixteen
Speaker 1: team tournament, a sweet sixteen of the top sixteen stories
Speaker 1: of the year. We greatly appreciate the nominations from Zeitgang
Speaker 1: on Blue Sky and in the discord. Yeah, there were some.
Speaker 1: There are a couple that we didn't have, and we
Speaker 1: will do our best to shut you out on the
Speaker 1: on the ones where you reminded.
Speaker 2: Us blind spots.
Speaker 1: How cool it is that Mark Robinson was the normally
Speaker 1: from cheers of a little weird windowless porn Hut Miles.
Speaker 1: We're thrilled to be joined by a couple esteemed guests.
Speaker 1: First up, one person who was responsible for bringing a
Speaker 1: lot of these stories to our attention, helping us work
Speaker 1: through them mentally, spiritually. One of our writers on the show.
Speaker 1: It is mister jam McNab coming from the Great White North.
Speaker 3: That's right, yeah up here in Canada. We yeah, am
Speaker 3: I allowed to participate in this league? If is it
Speaker 3: like Intercontinental?
Speaker 2: It's like, jam, dude, jam, let's talk about these stories.
Speaker 2: And they're like, no, shut shut up? Wait, what the
Speaker 2: are you?
Speaker 1: Why is there a Canadian talking on this ship?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Tests and yeah we did.
Speaker 1: That's just for our kink said, speaking of kinky motherfucker. Now,
Speaker 1: we're thrilled to be joined by one of the very
Speaker 1: producers who makes this show possible. Uh. He went back
Speaker 1: through all the show docs from this year after I
Speaker 1: texted him this morning, and UH went back pulled all
Speaker 1: the so that we could remember what the fuck furry
Speaker 1: hackers meant?
Speaker 5: He is mister Victor right, thank you guys who uses
Speaker 5: my king politics as Mike kink. I want to apologize
Speaker 5: because I sent you guys a seventy page document like
Speaker 5: an hour ago, and I was like, hey, can you
Speaker 5: go through all of this because these are all the
Speaker 5: stories that we.
Speaker 1: Have, asshole.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and some of these I didn't understand that Jack
Speaker 5: ro I didn't know what gymnast Nerd was. Yeah, so
Speaker 5: things were quite difficult for me this morning. But happy
Speaker 5: to be here.
Speaker 2: Hey, what were we saying about gymnast Nerd again?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I googled it. As Victor knows, the rule is
Speaker 1: no questions around clarification for Jacky. Jack will freak out
Speaker 1: if you ask him questions for clarification before he's had
Speaker 1: his coffee.
Speaker 2: Yeah, especially when you pointed out You're like, I don't
Speaker 2: know if that's your the best handle you could have
Speaker 2: on Blue Sky and.
Speaker 1: Brother. Anyways, So here should we just read we have
Speaker 1: twenty four stories competing for the sixteen spots here. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I want to just go through the stories.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so this is phase one. Let's let's get familiar
Speaker 2: with what we were thinking about yeah, and then the
Speaker 2: next episodes will be the fight to the.
Speaker 1: Actual fight, but we're just gonna refamiliarize ourselves. The first
Speaker 1: one coming straight down the middle, a big old meat
Speaker 1: ball of a story. And I don't know if anybody
Speaker 1: remembers this, but you have remember Drake, Yeah, guy from
Speaker 1: Degrassi used to be a big oh yeah j rap star.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, so that he had a real beef with
Speaker 1: Kendrick kung Fu Kenny himself.
Speaker 5: So that was a.
Speaker 1: Big story at the beginning of this year. That feels
Speaker 1: like it has to be on the list. It was
Speaker 1: giving us life.
Speaker 2: I feel like, oh, that's that Like those what like
Speaker 2: two weeks in May or early May when all that
Speaker 2: shit came together, I don't know. That was that was
Speaker 2: hip hop Christmas. Like every time Kendrick was dropping another
Speaker 2: fucking disc track, I was like, oh my god, what
Speaker 2: is happening?
Speaker 1: I had its interesting to look back at our notes
Speaker 1: from that time, and I was like, the six sixteen
Speaker 1: in LA is definitely the one that's gonna hit the most.
Speaker 1: They're not like us is okay, but totally correct.
Speaker 2: Well, that's like the spiking of the football as a
Speaker 2: track for me and I think. Yeah, I mean, I
Speaker 2: think we were all kind of like lyrically. The thing
Speaker 2: that was, I mean, Meet the Grahams was a haunted
Speaker 2: house of a track that only made people shudder when
Speaker 2: they listened to it. Six sixteen felt super dope, and
Speaker 2: you know, there was a whole you know era of
Speaker 2: you tube analysis videos that helped us understand it even further,
Speaker 2: which made me love the song even more.
Speaker 1: But yeah, all right, we've got Olympic pole vaulter aka
Speaker 1: guy who lost at the Olympics but won the gold
Speaker 1: medal in having a dick for sure, like no doubt
Speaker 1: this guy. You get just from the the sheer spraying
Speaker 1: of it that was on evidence. This man had a dick.
Speaker 1: There's no doubt about it.
Speaker 2: This man had a dick.
Speaker 1: Exactly. Is the reverse Ghostbusters his name Anthony Amarati. Let's
Speaker 1: all right, we've got a suite of Olympics stories that
Speaker 1: I don't think it. I don't think they should be consolidated. Personally,
Speaker 1: there's two categories like this, There's Olympics, there's RFK. Right,
Speaker 1: so the Olympics stories we have guy lost the Olympics
Speaker 1: but won the gold medal and having a dick. Raban
Speaker 1: who lost the Olympics but won the gold medal of
Speaker 1: I don't know mody the existence of her event.
Speaker 5: She's an academic. You don't put a fucking ancient historian
Speaker 5: in like the colisseum and tell them to fight, right,
Speaker 5: It doesn't make any sense for her to have gone
Speaker 5: to the Olympics in the first place.
Speaker 1: Because that was there and she deserved to be there,
Speaker 1: that's true. Sorry, gymnast Nerd was one the victor needed
Speaker 1: to refresh her one. Yeah. Yeah, this is a guy
Speaker 1: who was just like the pole vaulter expert, the pole vaulter.
Speaker 5: Or not.
Speaker 1: Sniper. Yeah, yeah, I don't This is where you find out.
Speaker 1: I don't know what the Olympics are. Dude.
Speaker 2: He just beat the ship out of that horse. Huh
Speaker 2: just like what.
Speaker 1: Yeah, pommel horse specialist who had glasses and everyone was like,
Speaker 1: this guy is a.
Speaker 4: Fucking dork, just an athlete with glasses.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's the super guy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we have the Olympic shooters. I think my underrated
Speaker 1: fave from the Olympics. Uh, which another Olympic athlete with glasses.
Speaker 1: But the guy who just casually shot with like one
Speaker 1: of his hands in his pocket and was going through
Speaker 1: a divorce that I think actually like years after the
Speaker 1: divorce but was like still struggling with it. Yusuf dickitch. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I do this because my wife took my dog and
Speaker 1: I want my dog back.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I love the help. There was so much, uh like,
Speaker 2: so many theories about this guy, because you see takes
Speaker 2: like this guy doesn't even have one eye closed. It's
Speaker 2: like this guy might be some kind of military operator,
Speaker 2: hit man or something like I don't know, or he's
Speaker 2: just like one of these people who just has a
Speaker 2: freakish talent for shooting a pistol.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they just apparently Yeah, he looked, and that is
Speaker 1: actually a good sign. We learn four shooters h all right,
Speaker 1: all right, and then we should probably talk.
Speaker 2: About the Korean the Korean shooters too.
Speaker 1: The Korean shooters also really cool.
Speaker 2: Yea.
Speaker 1: So Olympic shooters kind of captured our hearts, our minds,
Speaker 1: our attention, our fashion. I started dressing like the guy
Speaker 1: with the you know, just one hand, rolled out of bed,
Speaker 1: just extremely divorced. Clive Owen is kind of what he uh,
Speaker 1: the vibe he was giving me. We got our FK stories,
Speaker 1: we got our FK whalehead, we got our FK Heidi Bear.
Speaker 1: We got our FK brainworm, we got our FK affair,
Speaker 1: which one probably don't need all four of those.
Speaker 2: Okay, so should we pair this down now?
Speaker 1: I would vote let's just fucking get rid of the affair.
Speaker 1: I don't yeah, I don't care about that, Like that's
Speaker 1: just and it's between Yeah. I feel like it was
Speaker 1: a popular story with people who like knew that journalist,
Speaker 1: and they were like, oh, I don't work there. I
Speaker 1: don't know why. I can't care about this at all.
Speaker 3: Well, that's what's so impressive about all those stories you
Speaker 3: mentioned is the fact that like having an affair with
Speaker 3: a reporter, which traditionally would be a huge scandal, doesn't
Speaker 3: even like, you know, crack the list of.
Speaker 4: The most spacious wild.
Speaker 2: Involved with Because there's the brain worm, which he that
Speaker 2: came out because he used that as an excuse in
Speaker 2: his divorce. It was like, you're not not a brain work,
Speaker 2: You're like, wait what and ate.
Speaker 5: Half his brain or something?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 5: It was like eating inside a thing?
Speaker 3: Was it didn't he say like, oh it, you know
Speaker 3: it's living inside your it's a parasite. And he interpreted
Speaker 3: that as part of my brain is missing. Because a
Speaker 3: worm made it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like that's not even how the brain works.
Speaker 2: But yeah, great, we love that.
Speaker 5: I do.
Speaker 1: I do think that. I remember reading some stories that
Speaker 1: were like, I don't know, it could have been a thing.
Speaker 1: It's like a thing that happens. And also I remember
Speaker 1: there being a lot of people being like it was
Speaker 1: around the time that his entire personality completely changed. So
Speaker 1: I don't know. Race is he's just obsessed with fame,
Speaker 1: and fame is the worst thing that can happen to
Speaker 1: a human brain.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but I don't know.
Speaker 1: He's been famous since he was young. He hadn't had
Speaker 1: since he was young.
Speaker 3: Isn't that the worm is in charge now? And you know,
Speaker 3: just like did he start asking to be referred to
Speaker 3: as you know whatever the worm's name was?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: Name?
Speaker 2: Just a sound?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. It's what I hear in my brain.
Speaker 1: It's like three Latin words backwards. So we have three
Speaker 1: RFK stories. Yeah, whalehead worm. I think those all need
Speaker 1: to be in the Does everybody agree those need to
Speaker 1: be in the turn?
Speaker 5: I think so. Yeah.
Speaker 2: It just basically the three headed monster servers.
Speaker 5: Have three heads.
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter.
Speaker 2: Sorry, sorry to be sorry. To bring my mythology brain
Speaker 2: into this, dude, because I don't have a brain worm.
Speaker 2: I'm just thinking about mythology.
Speaker 1: I wish you had a brain worm, dude.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I don't know. Uh, but so those and
Speaker 1: the Olympics, I feel like, are in categories where they
Speaker 1: could be one story, but I think they need to
Speaker 1: be all broken out into individual stories. Oh we nearly
Speaker 1: did them, I do think so. Yeah.
Speaker 5: I think the bear head or the bear hide can
Speaker 5: fit into the whalehead story because those wad Yeah, those
Speaker 5: are very similar, right, they're both. I mean the art
Speaker 5: title article here is RFK Junior faces call for investigation
Speaker 5: and to claim he Shane saw a whale's head off,
Speaker 5: which is the kind of ship that got me into
Speaker 5: the news and politics in the first place.
Speaker 1: That's so weird that that's how you got in. That's exactly.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: No, but like they've just been waiting, You're like, finally, finally,
Speaker 1: this is my time the sidelines.
Speaker 5: But like, the whalehead and the bear hide are basically
Speaker 5: the same story that just happened to different animals.
Speaker 2: You know, it's just the desecration of a dead animal exactly.
Speaker 3: I mean, the bear one does have some pretty great
Speaker 3: details though. Yeah, like he tried. He didn't just you know,
Speaker 3: desecrate a bear. He's like he like made it turn
Speaker 3: it into a prop like he tried to like turned
Speaker 3: into like.
Speaker 1: A bad political cartoon. Yeah. Yeah, okay, So let's put
Speaker 1: a pin in it. Let's leave them separate now, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: and then we can eliminate later. Also, we're not picking
Speaker 1: the winner right now. We're picking the list of sixteen.
Speaker 1: We're down to twenty four actually, because I just remembered that,
Speaker 1: I do want to talk about jay Leno's weird face thing,
Speaker 1: even if we don't put it on the list. I
Speaker 1: know we said beforehand we weren't going to put on
Speaker 1: the list. I still want to talk about why it's
Speaker 1: not going on.
Speaker 2: It's taken up. I think it's one of those things too.
Speaker 2: We have to acknowledge how much a story takes up
Speaker 2: oxygen off mic when we're not recording the Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and that's certainly taking up a lot of energy from
Speaker 2: us right now.
Speaker 1: All right, we got some election stories here. Do you
Speaker 1: guys remember the US presidential election happened earlier this month,
Speaker 1: I guess. And so we've got a couple of those
Speaker 1: that I get. I guess these could all be like categories.
Speaker 1: They could all be like varying categories. The first one
Speaker 1: we have on here that I think is actually a
Speaker 1: pretty good candidate to be the first one cut is
Speaker 1: Laura Lumer.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, this was a bellige.
Speaker 1: There's something about this story that did capture I think
Speaker 1: what we're about to see, because like early in the year,
Speaker 1: there were articles where people are like, I spent some
Speaker 1: time with Laura Lumer. She exists like in this weird
Speaker 1: universe where all she does all day is like check
Speaker 1: in on Trump's availability and like hope to spend time
Speaker 1: with Trump and like tell people about how much access
Speaker 1: she has to Trump and then get like ditched and
Speaker 1: ignored by Trump. And then there were two weeks where
Speaker 1: Trump just was like, I don't know, like they had enough.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, but then she was saying the most racist
Speaker 2: off the wall shit too, and they're like, yo, is
Speaker 2: this your girl?
Speaker 1: And she's great, we love her, but like just the
Speaker 1: whole like royal court of it all felt very appropriate
Speaker 1: at the same time doesn't bring me any joy. It
Speaker 1: doesn't spark joy, and I feel like that is what
Speaker 1: we need to exactly be thinking here.
Speaker 3: So it's like we're decluttering this bractic we are.
Speaker 2: We are, it doesn't spark joy, It's gone and move on.
Speaker 2: I think it's easy. I don't think by just checking
Speaker 2: the spark joy. No, Okay, there we are.
Speaker 1: Next we have JD. Vance couch fuck. I think that
Speaker 1: is that.
Speaker 5: It stays.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it stays. Next, we have the election in all cats.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's it. That's it. The election. I mean
Speaker 2: it was, it's obviously the most consequential story of our time.
Speaker 5: But does it spark joy?
Speaker 1: No? By the election.
Speaker 2: By the election, and for that reason, you have been
Speaker 2: vaporized peace just only the fun stuff around it. It's
Speaker 2: like the elections like the crust and we're like, no,
Speaker 2: it's not like the bread part where it's JD. Vance
Speaker 2: couch fucking or this next guy.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, So the next thing, I'm gonna move this
Speaker 1: one down to the bottom.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: The next thing we have is Mark Robinson porn chop
Speaker 1: reg So a lot of just wild, racist, horrifying things
Speaker 1: being said by Mark Robinson. We found out that his
Speaker 1: wife and he like would buy girl Scout cookies and
Speaker 1: like stiff them for money, just like one unimaginable political
Speaker 1: scandal after another. But the highlight for us, I think
Speaker 1: was when we found out that he was like part
Speaker 1: of this group of people who would always meet up
Speaker 1: at a porn shop to like jack Off next to.
Speaker 2: Each other, but he would bring pizzas with him.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he would bring pizza. He was like a beloved
Speaker 1: like it gave eighty sitcom vibe, you know, vibes. It
Speaker 1: really felt like cheers. But at porn shop, like they
Speaker 1: were like, yeah, Mark was actually like pretty funny guy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: nothing against him. He just owes me forty dollars, So
Speaker 1: I'm burning his political career down right.
Speaker 2: This kind of sums up though, this kind of the
Speaker 2: elections kind of stories, Like obviously he was a gubernatorial
Speaker 2: candidate who was like, I'm a black Nazi as a
Speaker 2: Holocaust Deniron said, like Martin Luther King's he had the
Speaker 2: he was just like the worst fucking guy. But we're
Speaker 2: like no, no, no, But the part he brings pizzas
Speaker 2: to the jack Off video store, now now that's a story.
Speaker 5: Now.
Speaker 3: Also, the the Nazi thing was a comment on a
Speaker 3: porn site.
Speaker 4: He stuck with the VHS.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you know, And that's what we yeah, the
Speaker 1: way that Russia keeps things off of the Internet, and
Speaker 1: like when they're doing spycraft, they like send things via
Speaker 1: a carrier pigeon. That's how you should keep your jacking
Speaker 1: off digital or whatever the opposite of digital.
Speaker 4: Keep it on.
Speaker 5: Homing pigeon.
Speaker 1: Yes, keep jacking off with homing pigeons. Right.
Speaker 2: He was buying Also, he was buying bootleg porno tapes
Speaker 2: at the store that one of the guys named Louis
Speaker 2: Money was selling to him on the side. That was
Speaker 2: the other detail about this was that he find and
Speaker 2: he stiffed the guy twenty five bucks, and I think
Speaker 2: that's why he was like, yeah, I got something to
Speaker 2: say about Mark Robinson.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's only five dollars.
Speaker 4: He's also promoting his band, I think.
Speaker 1: Right, yeah, yeah, they had a fun I forget what
Speaker 1: the end of the band was, but anyways, this is
Speaker 1: I think this one's in. This is like one of
Speaker 1: the one. Yeah. This is like somebody wins the SEC
Speaker 1: tournament or something, you know, like it's like, yeah, you're
Speaker 1: automatically in congratulations, I'm winning the Big East Tournament. Mark Robinson,
Speaker 1: porn shop regular, you are in the tournament. Uh, let's
Speaker 1: take a quick break and we'll be back to continue
Speaker 1: narrowing down the field of competitors.
Speaker 5: And we're back.
Speaker 2: We're back up.
Speaker 1: Next, we have furry hackers. This was one I did
Speaker 1: not remember from when it happened, but this was a
Speaker 1: group of hackers who hacked the people behind Project twenty
Speaker 1: twenty five and threatened to reveal their names and the
Speaker 1: names of all the people who were funding them, the
Speaker 1: Heritage Foundation. Uh, and ultimately like didn't do that. One
Speaker 1: of the Heritage Foundation people in response quoted eminem uh
Speaker 1: like I am whatever you say, I am dog damn.
Speaker 1: Like you know, the the equivalent the the uh white
Speaker 1: guy equivalent of like not of experiencing emotions for the
Speaker 1: first time, be like the only way I can really
Speaker 1: express vulnerability is these eminem.
Speaker 2: This whole thing was like being like, yeah, come at me, motherfuckers,
Speaker 2: I ain't scared of you, and then like, go ahead
Speaker 2: publish our interactions about how I'm not scared to you.
Speaker 2: And then they did, and that's when he was like okay,
Speaker 2: in a homophobe before k So he's hitting you with
Speaker 2: like I.
Speaker 1: Sit back with this back back, and you're like very.
Speaker 2: Normal response, thank you for that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'd like to see you try and post that,
Speaker 1: and he posts it, Mom spaghetti vomiting. What this one?
Speaker 2: I think.
Speaker 1: It's a bubble for me. Yeah, it's a bubble.
Speaker 2: It's a bubble story.
Speaker 5: Yeah, because I was thinking, because I went through all
Speaker 5: this this morning, and the article itself is funny, or
Speaker 5: the article title is funny, where it's like furry hackers
Speaker 5: attack Herridge Foundation and shit like that, but the actual
Speaker 5: essence just isn't there for me, So I'd be fine
Speaker 5: with getting rid of it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think the funniest part is this dude
Speaker 2: responding with an eminem lyric more than anything like shout
Speaker 2: out to the hackers for exposing this hateful organization. The
Speaker 2: funny part isn't necessarily that like this is a furry
Speaker 2: hacker hacker collective. It's the guy who just says, hey,
Speaker 2: I'm being homophobic. Live is a defense or some ship.
Speaker 2: So yeah, I don't know if.
Speaker 1: It's I'm gonna leave it on the bubble for now,
Speaker 1: all right, all right with a gymnast nerd. I feel
Speaker 1: like those two are on the bubble right now, and
Speaker 1: we'll put Whalehead on the bubble because Whalehead might be
Speaker 1: combined with Hedy Bear. Okay, although I don't know that
Speaker 1: might be might make it too strong. That might be
Speaker 1: if Michigan State in Michigan, we just let the teams combine,
Speaker 1: like what the fuck? All right? Up next we have JD.
Speaker 1: Vans Donut shop. I think an underrated entry where he
Speaker 1: just like came in and didn't know how to interact
Speaker 1: with human Yeah, all right, feels a little bubbly. We're
Speaker 1: gonna take the highlight off.
Speaker 2: I mean, if we're doing if you put the two JD.
Speaker 2: Van stories next to each other, you got to take couch.
Speaker 1: Over the couch fuck probably that I think. I think
Speaker 1: we were getting down to a place where we're gonna
Speaker 1: be able to be eliminating some of these. Actually, no,
Speaker 1: it's pretty strong from here on. It uh the one
Speaker 1: that I think we can eliminate yet again. This year,
Speaker 1: Havana syndrome was solved, and the mainstream media refused to
Speaker 1: allow that information in. We got more evidence that it was,
Speaker 1: you know, either a psychosomatic or a function disorder, something
Speaker 1: that had more to do with you know, how the
Speaker 1: people were feeling overall, and suggestion, and they just doubled
Speaker 1: down sixty minutes because journalism is now broken so or
Speaker 1: all the original foundational institutions. They were like, whoa, there's
Speaker 1: some new stuff about havana syndrome. Wow, that was just
Speaker 1: like bullshit. But is this sparking joy for anybody?
Speaker 2: No person who had determined whether or not a havana
Speaker 2: syndrome true joy? So I in the way of that process.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I barely have a bone right now, so I'm
Speaker 1: gonna delete it.
Speaker 3: I will say that sixty Minutes piece is very funny
Speaker 3: to watch because it's like they just do things that
Speaker 3: even I know, like, well, that's a ridiculous thing to do,
Speaker 3: Like they h I was reading over the notes again
Speaker 3: because it's been a while, but like there was one
Speaker 3: part where a woman that said she suffered from havana
Speaker 3: syndrome thought she saw like a suspicious car parked outside
Speaker 3: of her house, and so the sixty minutes reporter just
Speaker 3: like pulled out just one photograph of like the like
Speaker 3: Russian guy that was living in the US that they
Speaker 3: suspected whatever. Instead of like a lineup of photos or something,
Speaker 3: they just handed this one photo and they're like, could
Speaker 3: this be the driver?
Speaker 4: And she was like yes, Oh.
Speaker 2: Dude, you're not gonna fucking believe this. You know who
Speaker 2: that is?
Speaker 1: Guy who poisoned that guy who's face melted off.
Speaker 4: It was Jay Leno then crashed the media.
Speaker 1: A lot of people don't see the aftermath of that
Speaker 1: TMZ interview where they're talking to Jay Leno. The sixty
Speaker 1: Minutes guy comes up with that same picture and was like, Jay, Yeah, anyways,
Speaker 1: I don't know should we bubble it? Let's bubble it.
Speaker 1: I deleted it and then JM brought it back for me.
Speaker 4: Just you thought you were out Havana syndrome.
Speaker 1: I got a fever.
Speaker 3: I know that it's psychostomatic because every time I wrote
Speaker 3: one of those things I started getting headaches.
Speaker 5: Yeah, way too much.
Speaker 2: And hearing high pitch ringing.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So a lot of things came together in this
Speaker 1: next story, uh, the private equity shrimp story. There's a
Speaker 1: big story about how Red Lobster, you know what A
Speaker 1: dealed themselves out of business by like doing endless shrimp bowls,
Speaker 1: and it turned out it was just like private equity
Speaker 1: fucking them the way they fucked Basically, Toys r us
Speaker 1: J Crew many a recognizable brand. I guess it does
Speaker 1: spark joy sparks.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Well, I would say a lot of listeners reached
Speaker 2: out and like when asking about this in DMS and
Speaker 2: like on Blue Ski and stuff, we're like, like, people
Speaker 2: really liked the private equity episode we did with Brendan
Speaker 2: Belou who was working at the DJ.
Speaker 1: Yeah, a number one episode, I believe.
Speaker 2: Yeah that that definitely like opened up our brains to
Speaker 2: begin to look at these kinds of like stories where
Speaker 2: they're like, this beloved company is going out of business,
Speaker 2: what the fuck happened? And always realizing like, let's always
Speaker 2: assume it's private equity. And this was one of those
Speaker 2: times I remember where this was like in like, uh,
Speaker 2: I think in March is when the stories first started
Speaker 2: coming out, they're like, oh, they're in trouble due to
Speaker 2: Endless Shrimp, and then we're like, let's just do a
Speaker 2: quick search of thread Lobster private equity. There it is
Speaker 2: because what happens is they buy up a company and
Speaker 2: then they suck your blood out by selling all their
Speaker 2: real estate from out under the company and then make
Speaker 2: the individual restaurants pay the private equity firm back for
Speaker 2: rent that they never had to, which means they have
Speaker 2: dwindling profits, which then just sort of exacerbate. It's a
Speaker 2: downward financial spiral, but the private equity firms they make
Speaker 2: out like gang Busters.
Speaker 1: So gang Busters, Yeah, I don't. I mean I feel good.
Speaker 1: I love the story. Uh, and I think we're going
Speaker 1: to keep it.
Speaker 2: It sounds like the closest to being for real, like
Speaker 2: a real story, yeah, without totally joking.
Speaker 1: And I think also that's all you can eat shrimp
Speaker 1: involved with it, so that it does.
Speaker 2: And it also makes me feel like, you know, we're
Speaker 2: we're much smarter than we are because we talked about
Speaker 2: blue that one time and then yeah, private it's my
Speaker 2: new thing.
Speaker 1: It'll be one where like I can uh send my
Speaker 1: parents the time stamps of this episode where we talk
Speaker 1: about that and be like, yeah, yeah, just check out
Speaker 1: this part this five minutes. Ignore the part where I
Speaker 1: keep saying that the guy won the gold medal and
Speaker 1: having a dick just focused on.
Speaker 2: Major in philosophy.
Speaker 1: Honey, Oh man, you think they you think they thought
Speaker 1: that was a good idea. Anyways, Uh, Private Equity Shrip,
Speaker 1: you're in the tournament, Welcome got nominated by people. This
Speaker 1: was like a very minor story.
Speaker 2: Right, yeah, but apparently stuck out to people.
Speaker 5: I'll fight for it because it's so fucking weird. It's
Speaker 5: just they included these cotton candy and in the middle
Speaker 5: was Skittles and Eminem's or something with a lot.
Speaker 1: Of chocolate with a lot of Skittles like it was,
Speaker 1: which I don't know, like, is that violating any sort
Speaker 1: of law for you guys, because you know, there's the
Speaker 1: dirt cup that is a favorite with chocolate pudding and
Speaker 1: the gummy worms.
Speaker 2: The dirt cup.
Speaker 1: They love the dirt cup. The dirt cup is an
Speaker 1: American class.
Speaker 2: This is an an abomination to me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe could we could we lump this together with
Speaker 3: the election and just put it under like an umbrella
Speaker 3: decisions all around.
Speaker 1: Cotton candy burrito election. I mean, there was a portion
Speaker 1: of the election where I kept comparing Trump's brain to
Speaker 1: cotton candy that someone had dumped a diet coke on
Speaker 1: top of. So there is all right, cotton candy burrito
Speaker 1: slash election. You're on the bubble. Okay, you're you're a
Speaker 1: strong bubble contender.
Speaker 2: Because this was again I think just for the backstory,
Speaker 2: this was something the Arizona Cardinals were doing at their stadium.
Speaker 5: And yeah, that's how because I was going to say
Speaker 5: more sports stadiums are trying to do like upgraded food
Speaker 5: options and instead of like just the normal hot dog
Speaker 5: and nachos. And this is what they fucking came up with.
Speaker 4: Hot dog fight this year.
Speaker 3: Remember that with the dollar hot Dog Night where there
Speaker 3: was like a massive hot dog fight.
Speaker 1: Was that I had there was something that was one
Speaker 1: that apparently happened when I was either out or not
Speaker 1: properly storing memory is due to fugue state, But I
Speaker 1: don't remember that anyways, Ktton Candy Burrito slashed the election.
Speaker 1: You are in Kamala fashion Week party? You are I've
Speaker 1: got to say, this is in Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is like this is one of those bitter
Speaker 2: pill ones. I mean, obviously election itself is a fucking
Speaker 2: bitter pill, but I think this is one of those
Speaker 2: ones too, where like realizing after the election, because I
Speaker 2: like I only caught wind of it after the election,
Speaker 2: but in the build up that this fashion Week party
Speaker 2: had happened, is in this weird way? Is this like
Speaker 2: really tragic summation manifestation of what the Harris campaign was?
Speaker 1: And yeah, yeah, this was what needed to be like
Speaker 1: the main story of the election as it was happening. Uh,
Speaker 1: and you found out too late about it. But it's
Speaker 1: my it's the most important story. I think of the
Speaker 1: election as this fashion Week party. It explains everything. This
Speaker 1: is a this is a not not only in for me,
Speaker 1: it's a strong feed.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think, yeah, it's everything wrong that happened into
Speaker 5: like what one minute video.
Speaker 2: Right, it's like being really leaning into like the meme
Speaker 2: aspect of the election, being super flippant about people's human
Speaker 2: civil rights yea, and jengifying them, distilling sexual assault into
Speaker 2: a claw grabber game. It all felt very like, I
Speaker 2: don't know, these are like propa. I think we can
Speaker 2: make jokes about this and then that'll help people get
Speaker 2: excited about our campaign that we're not even taking any
Speaker 2: of it seriously.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So yeah, yeah, that's your staying. You're going to Hollywood,
Speaker 2: as they say.
Speaker 1: In American Fashion Week party, You're going to Hollywood to
Speaker 1: the video that we had because and you can actually
Speaker 1: go see this on our YouTube channel. It was the
Speaker 1: episode we I think Chelsea Chelsea Weber's Smith Smith. Yeah,
Speaker 1: go go check out that episode and you can see
Speaker 1: the video. It's narrated by French guy who was just.
Speaker 2: Like wow, He's like, this is so distubi bro accent.
Speaker 2: It HiT's way harder when you say it like that.
Speaker 1: All right, this next one, as far as I'm concerned,
Speaker 1: not going anywhere. This is this is in the Turn. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Elmo versus Big Bird. We totally forgot about this one
Speaker 1: until the moment before we started recording. But did somebody
Speaker 1: recommend it over.
Speaker 2: On Blue Ski. Yes, someone did mention it and it
Speaker 2: was Queen Try or Queen Tree on Blue Sky. Remember, yeah,
Speaker 2: suggest shout out to you, Queen for that one. But yeah,
Speaker 2: because I do. It started off as a story talking
Speaker 2: about how Elmo just innocently like Elmo has everybody doing
Speaker 2: on Twitter, and then it just became trauma dump.
Speaker 1: Emotional, like fucking good Elmo, I'm fucking dying Elmo.
Speaker 2: And then I think it just took a tangent because
Speaker 2: I think that episode was called Big Bird Versus Elmo.
Speaker 2: Who you got.
Speaker 1: Big Bird was also trying something at that time, wasn't
Speaker 1: he jam I remember you think you wrote this one up?
Speaker 4: I think it was.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I think it was like part of some kind of
Speaker 3: coordinated effort where they're trying to get the Sesame Street
Speaker 3: muppets to like open up a conversation about mental health
Speaker 3: or something.
Speaker 4: But yeah, it just immediately took a turn like wasn't.
Speaker 1: Big Bird missing or something or Big Bird like trunk
Speaker 1: down to normal size or something. There there was something
Speaker 1: with yea, yeah, so.
Speaker 2: Big Bird's account he'd been posting about how he quote
Speaker 2: randomly shrunk to the size of an insect and is
Speaker 2: no longer big.
Speaker 3: It was like coughcus metamorphosis, but with yeah exactly, and
Speaker 3: mister like and snuffleophagous like was even tweeting it's like.
Speaker 2: All avoid there, bird, so don't trample you to death.
Speaker 4: Yeah that's a great buffalo bill.
Speaker 2: Thank you, big old fat bird snuffle uffalo bill.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: But then but then it was about is he shrinking?
Speaker 2: Is he getting big? And then we were thinking that
Speaker 2: I guess technically Elmo's a monster.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so yeah, I think somehow it came up that
Speaker 1: we were like, who you got between these two, because
Speaker 1: like I think we were suspecting, like, it's gotta be
Speaker 1: frustrating Big birds like put together this well coordinated with
Speaker 1: special effects like social media thing where it's like and
Speaker 1: then I'll look small and you know, just a some
Speaker 1: real try hard shit from Big Bird and then Elmo's like, hey,
Speaker 1: how's everyone doing, and everyone just like Elmo is the
Speaker 1: number one thing trending on Twitter that day during the election,
Speaker 1: and we were suspecting, like there's probably some tension there,
Speaker 1: and the question came up, like who would actually win
Speaker 1: in a fight? Big Bird obviously huge, but you know,
Speaker 1: doesn't almost.
Speaker 5: Got them I'm sorry, you know, because got him. Big
Speaker 5: Bird has like he's top heavy, right, so all Almo
Speaker 5: has to do is push him over and then start
Speaker 5: kicking him and that's it. Big Bird's done.
Speaker 2: Canonically, Big Bird is six Elmos three and a half yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: a three and a half year old red monster.
Speaker 1: Though, yeah, big Bird is a giant dinosaur. You know,
Speaker 1: dinosaurs had feathers with eyes that are very close together,
Speaker 1: suggesting predation, you know, whereas Elmo's eyes are just like
Speaker 1: kind of going any which way, so probably you know,
Speaker 1: more of a prey.
Speaker 2: Squarely have those eyes just right dead center.
Speaker 1: When Big Bird's eyes are locked on your ass. Big
Speaker 1: Bird approaching you from behind in the forest like as
Speaker 1: he's like hi, and the I'm like, you know, you
Speaker 1: hear a twig break behind you, and that's the last
Speaker 1: thing you ever hear.
Speaker 2: This was also because this happened, Elmo asked how everyone
Speaker 2: was doing in January. January twenty ninth of this year.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so this was he kicked off this.
Speaker 2: This definitely kicked off the year, and I was like.
Speaker 1: Fuck do you think we're doing?
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's a fucking genocide happening. Everyone's lonely. We got
Speaker 2: an election coming. What do you fucking want?
Speaker 1: I think that one's pretty strong contender. Yeah, all right,
Speaker 1: speaking of strong contenders, this is probably the one we
Speaker 1: got the most votes for. It was the first one
Speaker 1: that we put on the list YEP, which is Willy
Speaker 1: Wonka Glasgow aka. Just thank you Victor for going back
Speaker 1: and finding I think Jam's original story or no, I
Speaker 1: think Miles you maybe wrote this one up. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: it was called Willie's Chocolate Experience, off brand ass naming.
Speaker 1: You could possibly come up with Molye's Chocolate Experience. I mean,
Speaker 1: this is I think a strong one. Seed. Yeah.
Speaker 5: This was a story that kept going to throughout the year.
Speaker 5: We would get bizarre fucking updates.
Speaker 1: We just had an update on this one because the
Speaker 1: mastermind behind this was convicted as a sex krim y. Yeah,
Speaker 1: sexual career.
Speaker 2: Just sending a ton of was like, was he sending
Speaker 2: bunch of nude pics or something? Just harassing a woman
Speaker 2: over to.
Speaker 1: Basically sexual messaging, and then blamed the stress of being
Speaker 1: the number one story of the year for his behavior.
Speaker 2: I think the other part too, though, that was made
Speaker 2: it really stick out, was the use of AI in
Speaker 2: all the promotional materials, Like they were chumming the waters
Speaker 2: with this like fantastic nonsense AI art, and then when
Speaker 2: you got there, they were in a barren warehouse with again,
Speaker 2: remember there was like just shitty like posters you could
Speaker 2: take a picture of. There was the the Umpah lumpa
Speaker 2: bartender who looked like she was just in the midst
Speaker 2: of some kind of existential crisis. Then there was like
Speaker 2: the little the Unknown, Yeah, the Unknown, which was a
Speaker 2: sixteen year old girl who was wearing a weird like
Speaker 2: silver mask and like hiding behind a mirror.
Speaker 5: Who was Wonka's enemy. I don't remember Wanka ever having
Speaker 5: an enemy That.
Speaker 2: Was AI too, was because they wrote a whole backstory
Speaker 2: narrative that was written by AI.
Speaker 1: They like actually created lore as part of this, and
Speaker 1: the lore sucked shit because it was from AI. It
Speaker 1: also made up words like cat gacading, uh hear chie
Speaker 1: tons instead of catchy tunes, Disasser's de dre lollipops.
Speaker 3: I love how to use Easier to use AI than
Speaker 3: it is to like read a children's book or watching
Speaker 3: eighty minutes movie.
Speaker 2: Just regurgitate what you just saw.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, anyway, the strong Ones siege, Welcome to the tournament.
Speaker 1: Up next, we have kind of again like this could
Speaker 1: be part of the same story, but a fake Bridgerton
Speaker 1: that happened in Atlanta. Yeah, oh no, Detroit, sorry Detroit,
Speaker 1: that's right, and it did not go well. It was
Speaker 1: kind of gave us some of the Glasgow Wonka energy
Speaker 1: at a time when we desperately needed it. What do
Speaker 1: we think?
Speaker 2: I think it's out, it's it's I think it's it's
Speaker 2: hanging on the coattails of Willy Wonka and Glasgow, Scotland, Glasgow.
Speaker 5: I gotta argue for this one though. I'm sorry because
Speaker 5: like the Willy Wonka AI experience felt like one guy
Speaker 5: being a piece of ship. But then the fake Bridgerton
Speaker 5: one had multiple people, like the queen was handing out
Speaker 5: her business cards.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, good details in there.
Speaker 5: There was there were a lot of details that separated it, right, Yeah,
Speaker 5: this is the whole answer.
Speaker 2: They were promised like a ball like scenes from Bridgerton,
Speaker 2: and it was just like one lone pole Dancer and
Speaker 2: like dodgy stream music in a conference room eventsace. Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's it's not a strong seed, but I think
Speaker 5: it's just enough to edge it out, you know, right.
Speaker 1: Like it would be a sixteen seed type.
Speaker 2: Can we combine that with the election?
Speaker 5: The election?
Speaker 1: Candy Cotton, Candy Burrito, fake Bridgerton, Ridon, all right, they
Speaker 1: are on the bubble as a single story. Just call
Speaker 1: it America, that's right, Yeah, call it all America. All right.
Speaker 1: We got jay Leno one that I wanted to bring
Speaker 1: back and talk about. And now, because this is the
Speaker 1: third recording we're doing today, I don't remember why, so
Speaker 1: any we could cut it well.
Speaker 2: I think the reason we bring it up is because
Speaker 2: we've talked about it so much off Mike trying to understand,
Speaker 2: I mean, you've heard us, you know, sort of try
Speaker 2: and parse through the details and come to some kind
Speaker 2: of conclusion as to what the fuck is going on
Speaker 2: with jay Leno. It could be I don't know, I
Speaker 2: don't know. I mean, some things are better left not
Speaker 2: in podcast form maybe sometimes because it feels like it
Speaker 2: doesn't feel like we have fun. Either way, it's like,
Speaker 2: is he in trouble with the mob? Is he trying
Speaker 2: to like hurt himself? Is he like slipping into sinility
Speaker 2: in a way that he's a danger to himself? None
Speaker 2: of those are really the fun thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like a thrill thrill seeking freak shit. I guess
Speaker 1: that one's kind of fun.
Speaker 2: That this is just his kink and his like ocean
Speaker 2: Gate and Submarine basically, Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: I mean we could put a pin in it and
Speaker 3: see if he gets it's like attacked by a shark
Speaker 3: or something before the final vote.
Speaker 1: Yeah all right, I mean the final vote is in
Speaker 1: probably thirty to forty five seconds. So okay, let me check.
Speaker 1: We're going to put a pin in that. Jam's going
Speaker 1: to go check if Jaylen has been attacked by a shark.
Speaker 1: Order worka another story that's a whole there's a whole
Speaker 1: genre of stories that felt like they happened this year.
Speaker 1: Work Is Attacking Yachts that was actually mid Latin mid
Speaker 1: twenty twenty three. Covenant Eyes happened in twenty twenty three.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it been kind of like mainstay stories in
Speaker 2: the news cycles.
Speaker 1: The other one that I think is entering as a
Speaker 1: one seed without a doubt in my mind. Yes, is
Speaker 1: the Food and Wine article about punkin spice latte flavored
Speaker 1: Eminem's that broke Miles brain, broke the show.
Speaker 2: I we fucking hate this story. Yeah, and by that
Speaker 2: I mean it consumed. It's still I'm like so angry
Speaker 2: just thinking about it again. Like you said, they were
Speaker 2: introducing fall flavors to Eminem's very early. This is the
Speaker 2: part that killed me. Okay, this is the part where,
Speaker 2: because this is all part of an ai anger genre
Speaker 2: of story, where this part, this specific fucking paragraph in
Speaker 2: this Food and Wine story quote, the preseasonal launch of
Speaker 2: the milk chocolate pumpkin pie Eminem's is a strategic move
Speaker 2: that taps into Mars' market research. The research indicates that
Speaker 2: Gen Z and Millennials plan to celebrate Halloween by dressing
Speaker 2: up and planning for the holiday about six point eight
Speaker 2: weeks beforehand. Well, six point eight weeks from Memorial Day
Speaker 2: is the fourth of July, so you still have plenty
Speaker 2: of time to latch onto a pop culture trend and
Speaker 2: turn it into a creative costume. What the fuck does
Speaker 2: any of that agree?
Speaker 1: Are you talking about? Well in eight weeks from Memorial
Speaker 1: Days the forces? Anyway, it's it's a number one seed
Speaker 1: with a bullet. This one was not.
Speaker 2: Can I just say that it's not it's not six
Speaker 2: point eight weeks. I don't know if it's not. Where
Speaker 2: six twenty weeks comes from? Who even even describes time
Speaker 2: in like fucking fractions of a week?
Speaker 1: Maybe decimals with yeah, oh.
Speaker 2: Yeah, six point eight weeks, Yeah, eight tenths.
Speaker 1: Of the spam six point eight weeks. Eminem's maybe for
Speaker 1: my health.
Speaker 2: We don't talk about it like I feel like my
Speaker 2: fucking blood.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so that one's in for sure. Going to Hollywood,
Speaker 1: You're going to Hollywood food and wine AI article. It
Speaker 1: feels like an illustration of the Van Vaught thing that
Speaker 1: I kept seeing the it's no big secret why Van
Speaker 1: Vaught doesn't work in Hollywood anymore, And it's a picture
Speaker 1: of Vince Vaughan. But this was one that we just encountered,
Speaker 1: like in an article that like we would be talking
Speaker 1: about anyways. There's the famous genre of story that we
Speaker 1: always cover on TDZ anytime they're trying to do something
Speaker 1: horrifying with pumpkin spice and bringing it back way too
Speaker 1: early and it was just just right there, didn't make
Speaker 1: any sense. AI is Yeah, it's turning the world into
Speaker 1: what feels like a dream you're having while you lay dying,
Speaker 1: is kind of what it.
Speaker 2: That's what this show is basically, right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So we're gonna we got through the stories that
Speaker 1: are nominees for the tournament. We're going to take one
Speaker 1: final break and then we're gonna come back and make
Speaker 1: the final selection, maybe even do some seating. We'll be
Speaker 1: right back and we're back.
Speaker 2: We're back.
Speaker 1: So let me see the green stories we have highlight
Speaker 1: it's Kendrick Drake guy won the gold medal, having a
Speaker 1: Dick ray Gun, Olympic Shooters, Yeah, RFK, Heidi Bear RFK, Brainworm,
Speaker 1: Jadie Vance, Couch fuck, Mark Robinson, porn Shop, Private Equity, Shrimp,
Speaker 1: Kamala Fashion Week Party, Elmo, the Big Bird, Wanka Glasgow
Speaker 1: AI article. That's thirteen. We have three spots to fill
Speaker 1: with Gymnast Nerd Whalehead, Furry Hackers, Havana Syndrome Solved, JD
Speaker 1: Van's Donut Shop, Cotton Candy, Burrito, Slash, Elections slash fake
Speaker 1: fave Bridgerton and which Jay Leno, I feel like we
Speaker 1: can cut if he hasn't been attacked by a shark yet.
Speaker 1: Any update on.
Speaker 4: That I've been checking so far, now, so.
Speaker 1: Far, Now, all right, we're gonna cut jay Leno. We
Speaker 1: don't know where that story is exactly going. It's not
Speaker 1: a complete story. So we're down to nineteen stories.
Speaker 2: Any election, Brito election fake Bridgerton I think.
Speaker 1: Is in is in?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I highlight that. Yeah, all right, that one's in
Speaker 1: JD Van's donut shop. Do we want to cut?
Speaker 5: What was I don't even the gymnast nerd. Was it
Speaker 5: just that he wore glasses or was his dick out too?
Speaker 5: What was the deal with that?
Speaker 2: He was a sensation? I remember everyone was obsessed because
Speaker 2: he was so calm and then helped deliver a medal
Speaker 2: for the US men's gymnastics team, and it.
Speaker 1: Was like, why is this guy here? He has glasses on?
Speaker 1: And then he then so like the question was posed
Speaker 1: just in his very presence. I think there was probably
Speaker 1: one of those packages before where it's like, I know,
Speaker 1: this guy looks like a fucking dork, but here he
Speaker 1: is back at home. You know, getting the call that
Speaker 1: he gets to be in the Olympics even though he
Speaker 1: has glasses. And then he had a big moment in
Speaker 1: the team event and fully came through the Olympic men
Speaker 1: medaled once again, and you know, just going back through
Speaker 1: I feel like this bitch got to be in there.
Speaker 1: I know we're Olympics heavy, but that would also give
Speaker 1: us four Olympics stories that they could be their own
Speaker 1: section of the tournament. Yeah, because it'd be weird to
Speaker 1: have three them into like the Eastern bracket. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so one of them comes out of that of
Speaker 2: that quadrant.
Speaker 5: Okay, yeah, I.
Speaker 1: Think we cut furry hackers and Havana syndrome, so.
Speaker 2: Then that leaves RFK, whalehead and the donut shop. Yeah.
Speaker 5: The donut shop.
Speaker 2: Is like, as much as I don't want to think about,
Speaker 2: I mean whatever, we already have to think about his
Speaker 2: love of the couch, so we might as well just
Speaker 2: talk about how absolutely awkward and robotic he is around
Speaker 2: normal world.
Speaker 1: We got a lot of nominations from listeners because it
Speaker 1: al says the whale juice, it's a whale juice.
Speaker 2: The daughter's anecdote about it that does a lot of.
Speaker 1: That half Deck is involved. It was. I think in
Speaker 1: many ways the culmination like it, even though like with
Speaker 1: the Kendrick songs, even though you know I happened to
Speaker 1: when I first heard it, like you know, the one
Speaker 1: that he only dropped on Instagram better uh not like
Speaker 1: us was the favorite, was the one that hit the hardest,
Speaker 1: And I feel like Whalehead was the one that hit
Speaker 1: the hardest.
Speaker 2: So it's not like a Brainworm is like like that
Speaker 2: the dis track from Future Metro booming okay, and then
Speaker 2: Heidi Bear is like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: The Whalehead is not like us Doughnut Chop I think
Speaker 1: can go okay, And that goes to us there.
Speaker 5: Because Whalehead and Heidie Bear, we're confirming are just two
Speaker 5: separate stories now, I think they have.
Speaker 2: To stand on their Then do we also cluster RFK
Speaker 2: stories in their own quadrant too, so one emerges or
Speaker 2: do we make them do the battle to the death there?
Speaker 1: I think we cluster them in the our own bracket
Speaker 1: with Kendrick Drake, I don't know why, or maybe with
Speaker 1: the Elmo Big Bird, I don't know, or Mark Robinson
Speaker 1: I guess like colorful characters from the election would be maybe.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, so how do we want to We're we
Speaker 2: gonna see them now.
Speaker 1: So here's what I think we should do. Because this
Speaker 1: has already been a long episode. We've reviewed the stories
Speaker 1: that are going to be facing off with one another.
Speaker 1: I think we should between now and tomorrow when we're
Speaker 1: recording the kind of determinative yeah, yeah, the other sode
Speaker 1: where we like figure out who wins what is the
Speaker 1: top story of twenty twenty four. I think everybody ranks
Speaker 1: their favorites, like just ranks the whole thing in order
Speaker 1: we use that to seed, and then the way that
Speaker 1: the actual event is determined is just like one on one,
Speaker 1: which of these two story worries and we talk it out. Okay,
Speaker 1: all right, does that sound fair to everyone?
Speaker 5: That sounds fair, sounds good.
Speaker 2: I'll do my rankings. I'll bring my rankings to the
Speaker 2: next class, and we will begin the act with.
Speaker 1: The understanding that the Olympics ones are all gonna be
Speaker 1: clustered together. But yeah, but it makes sense maybe well
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's where we'll talk about it. I think
Speaker 2: that's that's the important thing is we can well, we'll
Speaker 2: think about how we get there because you don't want
Speaker 2: you don't want to get those huge matchups early on
Speaker 2: in the tournament, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you certainly don't else. No, but yeah, I think
Speaker 1: I think we're gonna end up with like four really
Speaker 1: strong one seeds as everybody chooses their favorite stories, and uh,
Speaker 1: we're going to get for the sake of science, We're
Speaker 1: going to get the top Daily Zeitgeist story of the Year.
Speaker 1: Twenty twenty four inaugural episode.
Speaker 2: I exactly that.
Speaker 1: My only shame in doing this episode is that it
Speaker 1: took us this long to figure out that we should
Speaker 1: be doing this every year.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, hey, but look, look we got a look,
Speaker 2: we got a lot of tables. Man, as Janine Garoppolo
Speaker 2: says and famously in The Cable Guy at Medieval Time.
Speaker 1: We should we should all do a tournament of just
Speaker 1: our most over used pop culture, right, Yeah, I think
Speaker 1: I say we got a lot of tables, or I
Speaker 1: got a lot of tables.
Speaker 2: Or anything that's a word that ends in t I
Speaker 2: O N becomes an ash.
Speaker 6: Where there's a less another one too from Ziking just
Speaker 6: Zeitgeistism's Battle of the Seistism this.
Speaker 1: Year, taking a little vacation to them for my vacatione
Speaker 1: all right, Jay McNab, thank you so much for joining us.
Speaker 1: Where can people find you? Follow you all that good stuff?
Speaker 4: I don't even know anymore?
Speaker 1: Cool.
Speaker 3: I guess, yeah, I'm on Twitter, but then you know
Speaker 3: I don't do anything on that anymore. I guess I'm
Speaker 3: on Blue Sky, but I don't remember what the thing is,
Speaker 3: so I'm around.
Speaker 1: All right, there you go, Victor. Where can people find you?
Speaker 5: Don't I'm also like JM. I don't have I never
Speaker 5: do anything Instagram or Twitter.
Speaker 1: So don't leave me alone. Please? Thank you? All right,
Speaker 1: great Miles don't Okay you can when this is jack
Speaker 1: ob One on Blue Sky. Oh jacko Bone jack Obone,
Speaker 1: jack Obi the number one. Okay, yeah you already know
Speaker 1: you already everybody, y'all already? No, all right, this was fun.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Thank you as always to Brian
Speaker 1: the editor who's gonna have to cut this shit together.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Also shout out to everybody else who couldn't make
Speaker 2: it obviously. Producer by E. P.
Speaker 5: Catherine Justin y we.
Speaker 2: All love you, but Anna, we'll be in another episode
Speaker 2: that may have aired by the time you hear this.
Speaker 2: But anyway, the whole gang is getting back.
Speaker 5: You might even hear from.
Speaker 2: Becca, okay, getting the whole gang back together.
Speaker 1: Raw, right, I was gonna do it. I hope everybody's
Speaker 1: having a great end to their year, and we'll talk
Speaker 1: to y'all tomorrow with the exciting conclusion of the daily
Speaker 1: Zeitke Guy Stories of the Year, Tournament of champions or
Speaker 1: however I said at the beginning story Tournament Year
Speaker 2: Stories of the Year, Tournament of Championship, the boom