Speaker 1: I won't let my body outly outway everything that I'm
Speaker 1: made do, won't spend my life trying to change. I'm
Speaker 1: learning to love who I am again. I'm strong, I
Speaker 1: feel free and know who every part of me it
Speaker 1: is beautiful and then will always out way if you
Speaker 1: feel it with joy in the here, she'll love to
Speaker 1: the boom there. Let's say good day and did you
Speaker 1: and die out? Happy Saturday. Outweigh fam amy here and
Speaker 1: my guest today is Aubrey Henderson, who is a self
Speaker 1: love coach and author and pleasure activist. So, Aubrey, welcome
Speaker 1: to Outweigh. Thank you for having me. We're gonna talk
Speaker 1: today about befriending your inner critic, and this is something
Speaker 1: that well, I feel like we all could benefit from,
Speaker 1: whether you're exploring whether or not you have needing disorder
Speaker 1: or disordered patterns with food or body image issues Like
Speaker 1: I can think of ways, certainly when I was in
Speaker 1: the throes of my eating disorder that my inner critic
Speaker 1: was very, very very loud. But it shows up in
Speaker 1: other ways too, even when I'm at work, like oh
Speaker 1: so stupid, why did I just do that? Or why
Speaker 1: can't you know? So it doesn't. It's not just specific
Speaker 1: to outweigh. So I really feel like whatever you do
Speaker 1: share today, people may be able to take these tools
Speaker 1: and just plug them into different areas of their life
Speaker 1: where they need to be more compassionate and kind. Yeah. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: I feel like this is something that people experience their
Speaker 1: inner critic in so many different environments. Like you said,
Speaker 1: it comes out anywhere, really that we feel vulnerable or
Speaker 1: insecure in any way, that inner critic is going to
Speaker 1: jump in there. So do you ever work with people
Speaker 1: that don't even really recognize that the inner critic is
Speaker 1: actually a problem Because I could see where so much
Speaker 1: of my life it was always there for me, so
Speaker 1: it's like my little companion. So I actually didn't see
Speaker 1: it as a problem. Absolutely, And it's funny. This is
Speaker 1: this kind of ties into how I found myself working
Speaker 1: as a self love coach and focusing in this area specifically.
Speaker 1: Is because when I started as a coach, I actually
Speaker 1: was working with people around like organization and goal setting
Speaker 1: in their lives, like very much not focused in on
Speaker 1: the like inner world of emotion at all. It was
Speaker 1: just very much like, let me help you to organize
Speaker 1: your life in ways that feel good and take steps
Speaker 1: towards your goals and accountability, And through that, I was
Speaker 1: seeing that the common theme really with everybody was there
Speaker 1: is this inner voice underneath that when we're trying to
Speaker 1: pursue something that's important to us, when we are feeling
Speaker 1: kind of vulnerable and putting ourselves out there in any way,
Speaker 1: which comes up when we're pursuing goals, It comes up
Speaker 1: when we're trying to get organized and trying to move
Speaker 1: forward on things that people were like, why am I
Speaker 1: struggling so much? Why is this so hard? And often
Speaker 1: it is that inner critic voice that's creeping in there,
Speaker 1: that is where that negative self talk is coming from.
Speaker 1: And I think for so many people, we've lived with
Speaker 1: it for so long, and I would include myself and
Speaker 1: that somebody who considers myself a recovering perfectionist. Just in
Speaker 1: so many ways, that inner critic was just always there,
Speaker 1: and so to notice it and sort of pay attention
Speaker 1: to it and draw it out can really be mind
Speaker 1: blowing for people, because we get so used to it
Speaker 1: being there that the idea that it could be another
Speaker 1: way is just kind of foreign to us. Unpacking stuff
Speaker 1: like this is longer than what we have here in
Speaker 1: the episode today, but we'll kind of get the cliffs
Speaker 1: notes version of what you like to encourage people to
Speaker 1: do to start recognizing that voice and then flipping the script. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: and I think really a lot of it is exactly
Speaker 1: what you just said. It's recognizing first that that inner
Speaker 1: critic is there. And so if you're somebody who struggles
Speaker 1: with a low sense of self esteem or low self
Speaker 1: worth in any way, or struggles with loving yourself, and
Speaker 1: that's where a lot of people come to me and
Speaker 1: they're just like, I have issues with my self esteem.
Speaker 1: I don't feel great about myself. It's first really tuning
Speaker 1: in to what are those thoughts that you're having about yourself? Right?
Speaker 1: What is that? And some people it's like, I know
Speaker 1: what my inner critics sounds like, I know what she's
Speaker 1: saying to me. Here are the thoughts that I'm having.
Speaker 1: And for some people, they really have to pause and
Speaker 1: sit and be still and listen and tune into what
Speaker 1: that inner critic is saying, what the thoughts are. And
Speaker 1: I actually encourage people when they're first getting acclimated to
Speaker 1: this to write those thoughts down. They're not usually nice
Speaker 1: thoughts that we're writing down, But there's something powerful in
Speaker 1: channeling it onto paper and looking at the words that
Speaker 1: you are saying to yourself. It's like having a tape
Speaker 1: playing in the background, and until we pause and really
Speaker 1: listen to and look at what it's saying, it's just
Speaker 1: we're kind of accepting that it's there, but instead translating
Speaker 1: that onto paper and writing out, well, what are these
Speaker 1: thoughts that I'm having? What is this inner critics saying
Speaker 1: and actually writing it out and looking at it can
Speaker 1: just be a powerful exercise to kind of get you
Speaker 1: started at realizing, oh wow, this is what I'm saying
Speaker 1: to myself on a continuous basis. It can kind of
Speaker 1: be a little bit shocking to see. But from there
Speaker 1: that is where we can actually script something different. And so,
Speaker 1: for example, if you're inner critic is saying like, I'm
Speaker 1: such a failure, right, for example, I'm I'm a failure,
Speaker 1: then then that can come up when you make a
Speaker 1: mistake at work. That can come up if you're a
Speaker 1: person who's in recovery and has a relapse or has
Speaker 1: an experience that you're not feeling good about, and there
Speaker 1: can be that inner voice of I'm a failure. Then
Speaker 1: if we know that's the thought we're having. We say, okay,
Speaker 1: there's that inner critic again. How can we reframe this?
Speaker 1: It's literally rewriting that thought, so coming up with what
Speaker 1: is the alternative to that thought. I could look at
Speaker 1: this as Okay, I'm a failure. Or I could say,
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm trying and I'm going to make
Speaker 1: mistakes and that's normal. Or I have compassion for myself
Speaker 1: when I make mistakes. Right, there is that shift so
Speaker 1: that every time you're having that thought and you recognize it,
Speaker 1: you have something to grab onto to replace it with,
Speaker 1: to say, oh, nope, I'm having the thought that I'm
Speaker 1: a failure, but actually I know that I can have
Speaker 1: compassion for myself when I make mistakes. So it's actually
Speaker 1: about literally rescripting that and replacing that thought as you're
Speaker 1: having it. My friend Ali Fallon actually wrote a book
Speaker 1: called The Power of Writing It Down, and she she believes,
Speaker 1: you know, everybody has a story, and there's so much
Speaker 1: power in putting a pin to paper, and so I
Speaker 1: love that activity so much because yes, you're taking it
Speaker 1: from your brain to the paper and then your eyeballs
Speaker 1: are forced to look at it, and then you have
Speaker 1: the next step in this. You know, I'm calling it activity,
Speaker 1: But this tool or this um what you can do
Speaker 1: to help get yourself out of this of rewriting it.
Speaker 1: I feel like though sometimes people might get, you know,
Speaker 1: stuck on well, I don't know really what to write.
Speaker 1: I know you give one example there for that, But
Speaker 1: what do you do if you don't When you've been
Speaker 1: stuck with the script for so long in your head
Speaker 1: and that's what's looped, it might be really, really really
Speaker 1: hard to come up with your new script. Yes, absolutely,
Speaker 1: that's a great question. And I think we can look
Speaker 1: at two different ways. Right. One of these is for me,
Speaker 1: if if you're ever having trouble coming up with a
Speaker 1: self compassionate thought, look to the people close to you
Speaker 1: who are encouraging to you. And most of us have
Speaker 1: at least someone in our lives who has offered us encouragement,
Speaker 1: who has said kind words to us. And if we
Speaker 1: can't generate the words, think about, well, what would this
Speaker 1: person who loves me say to this thought or what
Speaker 1: would they offer to me? Right, And you can pull
Speaker 1: kind of language from there if you're struggling to kind
Speaker 1: of come up with that yourself. But what this makes
Speaker 1: me think of is another piece of how we think
Speaker 1: about our inner critic, which is that I think so
Speaker 1: many of us think about this inner critic voice and
Speaker 1: we're like, I just want to turn the volume off
Speaker 1: on this. I just want to mute it. I want
Speaker 1: to get rid of it. I don't want to have
Speaker 1: this part of me because it's bad, it feels bad.
Speaker 1: And when I work with clients, I actually really like
Speaker 1: to help them to build compassion for what that inner
Speaker 1: critic part is trying to do. And so the way
Speaker 1: I do that is really looking at, Okay, what is
Speaker 1: the thought, what is the fear that's coming up? So
Speaker 1: the idea of, you know, if we're using the example
Speaker 1: of I'm such a failure, thinking about what that part
Speaker 1: of you that is saying, you know, you're a failure,
Speaker 1: there's something wrong with you. What is part trying to
Speaker 1: do right? And it's doing it in a backwards way,
Speaker 1: but it's trying to protect you from something. It's trying
Speaker 1: to stop you from putting yourself out there again. It's
Speaker 1: trying to stop you from taking a risk. It's trying
Speaker 1: to avoid any scenario where you could be disappointed or
Speaker 1: sad or hurt or upset. Right, So this is a
Speaker 1: part of yourself that, again in a way that is
Speaker 1: now harmful and no longer adaptive, is trying to protect you.
Speaker 1: And often this is something that in our lives before
Speaker 1: has protected us, right, we have for many of us,
Speaker 1: I consider myself to be somebody who was an overachiever
Speaker 1: growing up in a lot of different ways, and so
Speaker 1: for me, being successful was the way that I got
Speaker 1: love and the way that I got affection and attention,
Speaker 1: and so it was very adaptive for me to have
Speaker 1: that inner critic that's like, you're not good enough, it's
Speaker 1: never good enough, keeping better, keep doing this, keep doing that,
Speaker 1: because it's that part of us that wants us to
Speaker 1: access love and attention and affection and safety. And then
Speaker 1: in adulthood we find ourselves saying this feels crappy, like
Speaker 1: this feels off full, and it's no longer helping me.
Speaker 1: So we have to shift how we look at that
Speaker 1: narrative and how we relate to that part of ourselves.
Speaker 1: And so we can look at that part and say, listen,
Speaker 1: thank you, I see that you tried to help me here.
Speaker 1: You're trying to warn me about a risk that I'm
Speaker 1: going to take. You're worried about what if we make
Speaker 1: ourselves vulnerable and we're rejected. I see that, and also
Speaker 1: like that commentary isn't helpful. I think of an inner
Speaker 1: critic like a kid, right, I'm a parent. My kids
Speaker 1: often say things that are not helpful. Right. They offer opinions,
Speaker 1: they offer thoughts, they say I don't want to do
Speaker 1: this thing. They say this sucks and I'm mad at you, right,
Speaker 1: And I can hear them, and I'm not going to
Speaker 1: say I'm banishing you away. I'm not going to say
Speaker 1: get out of here. I'm not gonna say I want
Speaker 1: to get rid of you. I'm gonna say, Okay, thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you for offering that. But I'm driving the bus now,
Speaker 1: I'm the grown up, and so we're gonna go my way,
Speaker 1: and so I hear what you're saying and we're just
Speaker 1: going to leave that there. Right. It's having a more
Speaker 1: neutral to almost even compassionate or orientation toward that inner
Speaker 1: critic voice and saying, Okay, see where this is coming from.
Speaker 1: I can see sort of the threads of how this
Speaker 1: has developed over the course of my life. But now
Speaker 1: I'm going to choose something different. I love painting that
Speaker 1: picture of you know, you taking over the driver's seats,
Speaker 1: but still welcoming all the thoughts and the things to
Speaker 1: sit in the car with you. I guess if you will,
Speaker 1: but they're just not going to drive. It's actually fascinating
Speaker 1: sometimes how our brain tries to just protect us in
Speaker 1: all kinds of ways, which I feel like when I
Speaker 1: was deep into my eating disorder, or if you have
Speaker 1: another type of addiction, or I've you know, walked through
Speaker 1: alcoholism with loved ones. It's wild because it's so destructive,
Speaker 1: yet it's also brilliant because it's what's you're doing to
Speaker 1: survive and trying to protect you from something, whether it's
Speaker 1: feelings like it's numbing out that was the your brains
Speaker 1: or your body's solution to a problem. But then at
Speaker 1: some point you realize, Okay, this is no longer serving
Speaker 1: me and I need to to switch this up. And
Speaker 1: so that's what we have the opportunity to do with
Speaker 1: the inner critic. I feel like the inner critic do
Speaker 1: we learn it from somewhere or is it how does
Speaker 1: it just come up? Because I feel like other behaviors
Speaker 1: we see play out, we maybe watch others, but this
Speaker 1: is stuff inside of our head. And a lot of
Speaker 1: us started hearing these voices or this voice or this
Speaker 1: inner critic when we were quite young. So I guess
Speaker 1: it's just our in our brains, is like some of
Speaker 1: us are wired as a way to just protect us. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And it's it's one of those things that's a little
Speaker 1: bit different for everybody. It's a combination of things. So
Speaker 1: when we when you talk to like an individual person
Speaker 1: about their inner critic, you might, you know, all often
Speaker 1: ask clients like, what does the voice sound like that
Speaker 1: you're hearing? Right? For some people it's like, oh, it's
Speaker 1: my voice. For some people it's oh, it's my mom's voice,
Speaker 1: it's my dad's voice. Right, So for all of us
Speaker 1: it develops a little bit differently. But it's the part
Speaker 1: of us that says, hey that this is what you
Speaker 1: need to do to earn love, This is what you
Speaker 1: need to do to earn And that's really I mean,
Speaker 1: I think that's what it all boils down to. All
Speaker 1: of it really is how we how we grew up
Speaker 1: and learned to earn love and to feel worthy of love.
Speaker 1: And so when that inner critic voice is coming up,
Speaker 1: sometimes it's just ideas that we've internalized about ourselves, whether
Speaker 1: it's from caregivers, whether it's you know, looking around and
Speaker 1: you know, developing ideas about body image that come from media,
Speaker 1: that come from our family culture, that come from all
Speaker 1: kinds of things. It's influenced by just the kind of
Speaker 1: cultural marinade that we sort of exist in, right, And
Speaker 1: so for everybody, you know, it's a little different. It
Speaker 1: might be more of an influence of your parents or
Speaker 1: your caregivers if they were particularly critical or pushed you
Speaker 1: really hard, or had phrases that you know, they said
Speaker 1: often that really burrowed in for you. For some people
Speaker 1: it's peers. For some people it's more things they see
Speaker 1: in media. It just it. But it all kind of
Speaker 1: plays a role into basically this part of you that develops,
Speaker 1: like I said, as a as an adaptive coping mechanism.
Speaker 1: It's this part of you that's saying, like, hey, to
Speaker 1: be safe, we need to remember this. And the way
Speaker 1: that we get to that quickly is not to you know,
Speaker 1: have that whole sentence of for you to feel safe
Speaker 1: and loved, this is what you should try to do.
Speaker 1: It's like you're a failure. Don't be a failure. Or
Speaker 1: you know your body is wrong, don't have your body
Speaker 1: be this way whatever that looks like, right, And so yeah,
Speaker 1: I think it comes from a lot of different factors,
Speaker 1: but often it stems from childhood, right. It a lot
Speaker 1: of times when I work with clients, we can trace
Speaker 1: it back to a pretty specific time in childhood where
Speaker 1: it's like, okay, here is where I learned that I
Speaker 1: got attention from my parents if I was getting aiss
Speaker 1: in school, and so achieving academically became the thing that
Speaker 1: I worked toward. And if I wasn't doing that, that
Speaker 1: inner critic voice comes up to kind of push me
Speaker 1: to be doing that right. And that can be true
Speaker 1: for a million different things. My sister has been working
Speaker 1: through and she's spoken publicly about it, so it's not
Speaker 1: like I'm talking about her. But you mentioned perfectionism earlier,
Speaker 1: and she has been able to stem that back to
Speaker 1: when she was thirteen and our dad left and she thought, well,
Speaker 1: as long as I seem as though everything is perfect
Speaker 1: and I have everything tidy and in its place and
Speaker 1: I'm put together, he'll want to come back. And she's
Speaker 1: seen how that now in her you know, mid forties,
Speaker 1: has played out. Her entire life and shown up in
Speaker 1: different ways, and now she's ready to shed that and
Speaker 1: no longer wants to try to be appear perfect all
Speaker 1: the time because it's exhausting. So it really can show
Speaker 1: up in all kinds of ways. And you know, I
Speaker 1: think about me being a mom and having a twelve
Speaker 1: year old and a fifteen year old, fifteen year old girl,
Speaker 1: twelve year old son, and I think that the writing
Speaker 1: activity you shared might be something good I could do
Speaker 1: with them, and maybe we could even do together. I
Speaker 1: and said something the other day about when he looks
Speaker 1: in the mirror, he feels ugly, and he brought it
Speaker 1: up at school with his teacher, and his teacher reached
Speaker 1: out to me, and then we were working on it.
Speaker 1: And so I'm thinking about how I wonder what would
Speaker 1: be something good that I could do with him, because
Speaker 1: I know we have a lot of parents that are
Speaker 1: listening to so you know, it's one thing dealing with
Speaker 1: thoughts in our own brain, right, but when you're a
Speaker 1: mom or a dad and you've got kids that are
Speaker 1: saying negative things about themselves, because there's something that's powerful
Speaker 1: for parents to do with their kids. I love this question,
Speaker 1: and I um I have an eleven year old son
Speaker 1: and we have I have eleven year old son, eight
Speaker 1: year old daughter, and we you know, talk about a
Speaker 1: lot of these things with them as well, and I
Speaker 1: think that bringing it into writing for kids can be
Speaker 1: really powerful. I also think for kids drawing out them
Speaker 1: talking about it. I think hearing a thought like that
Speaker 1: of like your child expressing that they feel ugly, A
Speaker 1: lot of parents are scared by that and are like, no, no,
Speaker 1: you're not ugly, and we leave it at that, and
Speaker 1: we don't want to talk about it. It feels scary
Speaker 1: to draw it out. And I think the best thing
Speaker 1: you can do with kids is really create space to say,
Speaker 1: I want to talk about this with you, like I'm here.
Speaker 1: You can tell me it's okay, to name that, we
Speaker 1: can unpack that, we can explore where that comes from.
Speaker 1: But to just be in a space where their feelings
Speaker 1: are okay, to be something that's expressed right, that you
Speaker 1: are not afraid of their feelings and their emotions and
Speaker 1: them expressing that to you and just recognizing that that, yeah,
Speaker 1: like kids are going to have moments of insecurity. I
Speaker 1: mean that the age that your son is right now
Speaker 1: is one where like we start comparing ourselves to pears
Speaker 1: in a big way. There's all kinds of factors at
Speaker 1: play there, and so I think having a space where
Speaker 1: you can process that and where you're encouraging them to
Speaker 1: open up and share that with you and to make
Speaker 1: that a conversation rather than I think often we have
Speaker 1: these thoughts and we say them. And I think for myself,
Speaker 1: you know, as a child, naming thoughts of feeling like
Speaker 1: I have to be perfect, and my mom would of
Speaker 1: course say like, no, you don't, you don't have to
Speaker 1: be perfect, like it's fine, But that doesn't make the
Speaker 1: thought go away. That's not drawing out the experience, that's
Speaker 1: not helping me understand where might that be coming from.
Speaker 1: And so I think the best thing you can do
Speaker 1: as a parent is really just to hold space for it,
Speaker 1: to say thank you so much for being willing to
Speaker 1: talk to me about this, or to say, hey, your
Speaker 1: teacher shared this with me, and I really want to
Speaker 1: understand more, right, I really want to hear more from
Speaker 1: you about this and what you're feeling because it matters
Speaker 1: to me. I love that and the good thing about
Speaker 1: us or you encouraging us as parents to do that
Speaker 1: now with our children is it's like, oh, my parents
Speaker 1: didn't do that for me, because I don't think they
Speaker 1: knew they didn't have that they like you said, they
Speaker 1: were just kind of like, oh no, you know I
Speaker 1: A narrative for me when I was a kid is
Speaker 1: that I wasn't smart, and that's stuck with me even now.
Speaker 1: I still struggle with. Like I said, an example is
Speaker 1: that would be at work and be like, oh, you're
Speaker 1: so stupid, and I'm feeding into it. I'm like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: my teacher in high school was right, I'm not smart,
Speaker 1: and I think my parents are just like no, no,
Speaker 1: you're smart. But then there was no real work with it.
Speaker 1: And if you're hearing this now and a light bulb
Speaker 1: is going off, like yeah, we have the opportunity to
Speaker 1: not only work on our own inner critic voice, but
Speaker 1: we can start giving our kids the tools so that
Speaker 1: they're not I'm forty one now and trying to you know,
Speaker 1: actively work on this stuff. Like maybe they'll have the
Speaker 1: tools to work on it in these early years to
Speaker 1: where they can have a healthy relationship with their their
Speaker 1: inner critic. And I love the way you have said it.
Speaker 1: Befriending your inner critic and not pushing it away, but saying, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm acknowledging you're you, you're here, but you're not going
Speaker 1: to control me, and you're not going to be in
Speaker 1: the driver's seat. Absolutely, And I think it's the like
Speaker 1: you don't you don't scare me kind of part of that, right,
Speaker 1: And even maybe initially it does scare you, and that's
Speaker 1: also okay, But getting to the place where you're saying,
Speaker 1: I see that you're here, and I'm just going to
Speaker 1: be present with you the same way you would be
Speaker 1: with your child, right, And I think I love that
Speaker 1: you use that example of doing this with kids because
Speaker 1: I also encourage people to really have that same compassion
Speaker 1: for themselves. Right to look at your inner critic the
Speaker 1: same way you look at your child's inner critic, with
Speaker 1: curiosity and with openness. Right, instead of saying, oh, these
Speaker 1: are bad thoughts, I want them to go away. I
Speaker 1: don't like that this is here. Let's shoot it to
Speaker 1: the side where it festers and grows too. Instead say okay,
Speaker 1: let's bring this into the light. Let's look at what
Speaker 1: we're working with here, and that way we can build
Speaker 1: a sense of of compassion for ourselves and then we
Speaker 1: also model that if there are kids in our lives too,
Speaker 1: and curiosity is so key. I'm glad you've said that
Speaker 1: word because that's been a huge part of my healing journey,
Speaker 1: is being curious about all the things that are coming up.
Speaker 1: And you mentioned to even having kids draw things out,
Speaker 1: But I think there's there could be some power in
Speaker 1: that as as adults, to tapping into our younger selves
Speaker 1: and maybe doing an activity that seems like, oh, that's
Speaker 1: for kids, but it probably would be very therapeutic to
Speaker 1: process some of your inner critic in a childlike way. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because that voice is often coming from a childlike part
Speaker 1: was infused during childhood. So often the way we can
Speaker 1: heal this stuff is to tap into that inner child
Speaker 1: mentality and explore there and have that sort of compassion
Speaker 1: for that part of ourselves and engage with it through play. Yeah. Awesome. Well,
Speaker 1: if people want to learn more from you, Aubrey, your
Speaker 1: website is your name, Aubrey Henderson dot com. Seems pretty
Speaker 1: pretty easy to remember. Aubrey Henderson dot com. Against self love, coach, author,
Speaker 1: pleasure activists, all the things. I know you specialize in
Speaker 1: setting boundaries. So those boundaries, boundaries scare me. But that's okay.
Speaker 1: I welcome the fear. That's right, I will recommit. I
Speaker 1: sit with it. Why did they scare me? Body image, relationships, sexuality,
Speaker 1: all the things self confidence? So if you know people
Speaker 1: want to learn more, they can check out your website.
Speaker 1: But also on Instagram you are Bree. So how many
Speaker 1: ages are in that off? A b r e Yah?
Speaker 1: Yeah b r e. So because I figured just Aubrey
Speaker 1: spelled like you spell, it was probably taken. So I
Speaker 1: love that you got creative in your Aubree and your
Speaker 1: Aubrey on all platforms. So thank you so much for
Speaker 1: taking the time to just chat with us about our
Speaker 1: inner critics and giving us the tools to at least
Speaker 1: acknowledge and then you know how to flip the script.
Speaker 1: And I also love, love love that you said if
Speaker 1: you're struggling with what to come up for your new script,
Speaker 1: hopefully you have someone in your life that you can ask.
Speaker 1: Because that's also something that I'll do sometimes with myself,
Speaker 1: is if I hear myself say something about myself, I'll
Speaker 1: say what I say that to my my fifteen year
Speaker 1: old daughter, no, And if I heard her talking like that,
Speaker 1: I would be like no, don't talk about yourself that way.
Speaker 1: And so thank you for the writing exercise, and you know,
Speaker 1: the suggestion to try to ask others around you or
Speaker 1: if you have a therapist or someone like that, but
Speaker 1: really if you have like a sibling or a BFF
Speaker 1: or someone in your family that knows you, well, yeah, absolutely,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for having me. It's been great, Yeah, awesome.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Aubrey