WEBVTT - Chip Ingram - Oct 15 - 9:30 am 0:00:11.740 --> 0:00:14.310 Today on Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. 0:00:14.830 --> 0:00:19.349 Would you like to become a more loving person? I 0:00:19.390 --> 0:00:23.210 don't mean just trying harder to act more loving, but 0:00:23.470 --> 0:00:28.040 actually become from the inside out a person that just 0:00:28.220 --> 0:00:32.860 flat out loves people better and more deeply. Well, if so, 0:00:33.080 --> 0:00:34.339 stick around. That's today. 0:00:36.440 --> 0:00:40.150 What's standing between you and genuine love? Well, according to 0:00:40.210 --> 0:00:45.290 Chip Ingram, it's selfishness, that I-want-my-way mentality we're all born with. 0:00:45.930 --> 0:00:48.030 I'm Dave Drewy, and today on Living on the Edge, 0:00:48.159 --> 0:00:52.160 Chip continues our series, Choosing Love, by exposing the root 0:00:52.240 --> 0:00:56.440 problem behind broken relationships, pride. But here's the good news. 0:00:56.740 --> 0:01:00.480 Research now confirms what Scripture has taught for thousands of years. 0:01:00.900 --> 0:01:08.069 Genuine humility fosters better health, stronger relationships, and even improved self-esteem. Today, 0:01:08.090 --> 0:01:11.030 Chip gives us three radical steps to declare war on 0:01:11.110 --> 0:01:14.880 selfishness and attack the root of pride. Well, now here's 0:01:14.959 --> 0:01:17.360 Chip Ingram with his lesson, Love Gives. 0:01:17.959 --> 0:01:20.980 In our study in Philippians chapter two, follow along I'm 0:01:21.040 --> 0:01:24.550 reading in the Phillips translation. He says, now if you 0:01:24.590 --> 0:01:28.690 experience of Christ... if there's any encouragement and love means 0:01:28.770 --> 0:01:31.890 anything to you, if you've known something of the fellowship 0:01:31.940 --> 0:01:35.039 of his spirit and all that it means in kindness 0:01:35.100 --> 0:01:38.920 and deep sympathy, and then here's the command. Make my 0:01:39.000 --> 0:01:42.940 best hope for you or my joy come true. Live 0:01:43.020 --> 0:01:48.880 together in harmony. Live together in love as though you 0:01:48.920 --> 0:01:53.940 had only one mind and one spirit before you. So 0:01:54.110 --> 0:01:58.440 just before... you open those notes. I want you to 0:01:58.520 --> 0:02:05.520 think about how to become a more loving person. Choose 0:02:06.060 --> 0:02:12.290 to declare war on, write the word, selfishness. And as usual, 0:02:13.050 --> 0:02:17.310 when I go high-tech here, my iPad is not working, 0:02:17.330 --> 0:02:19.810 so I think I'll go with a little bit less 0:02:19.910 --> 0:02:23.950 technical one that you all have. Turn to Philippians chapter 0:02:24.010 --> 0:02:27.910 two if you're not already there And let me read 0:02:28.010 --> 0:02:33.510 for you this command. Philippians chapter 2. We've looked at 0:02:33.550 --> 0:02:38.190 verses 1 and 2. Follow along here in chapter 2 0:02:38.190 --> 0:02:40.959 as we read verse 3 and 4. Do nothing from 0:02:41.060 --> 0:02:47.480 selfishness or empty conceit, but in humility of mind consider 0:02:47.600 --> 0:02:51.940 others more important than yourself. Verse 4. Let each of 0:02:51.980 --> 0:02:55.720 you look not only on your own interest, but also... 0:02:56.030 --> 0:03:01.140 on the interest of others. You may be looking at 0:03:01.180 --> 0:03:05.179 this and saying, declare war? Aren't you getting a little 0:03:05.220 --> 0:03:10.020 radical here? No, no. We're born with this innate ability 0:03:10.639 --> 0:03:14.160 to be selfish. In fact, let me define selfish ambition here. 0:03:14.840 --> 0:03:19.910 Four words. I want my way. That's selfish ambition. I 0:03:19.940 --> 0:03:24.180 want my way. It's a me first mentality. I want 0:03:24.200 --> 0:03:28.700 to be number one. I'm selfish. Now, it's very unpopular 0:03:28.800 --> 0:03:32.820 to admit that. But what is hard to see in ourselves, 0:03:33.040 --> 0:03:35.440 isn't it easy to see in others? I mean, you 0:03:35.480 --> 0:03:37.540 get out on the freeway, are people selfish or what? 0:03:38.440 --> 0:03:42.930 I mean, this isn't like out there somewhere either. Anybody 0:03:42.970 --> 0:03:45.290 here tried to get out of the parking lot here? 0:03:45.570 --> 0:03:49.630 You know, especially 11 o'clock service? Now, there are some people, 0:03:49.670 --> 0:03:52.390 you know, very Christian, wave you in. And there's some 0:03:53.440 --> 0:03:54.940 Some of you that are still working on it, let 0:03:54.980 --> 0:03:58.960 me put it that way. But we're selfish. But you 0:03:59.000 --> 0:04:02.340 don't slide out of being selfish. Even though the living 0:04:02.740 --> 0:04:05.560 spirit of Christ lives inside of you and you're born 0:04:05.600 --> 0:04:07.150 again and you're a part of the kingdom of God, 0:04:07.550 --> 0:04:11.450 there's this battle. The Galatians talks about the spirit wages 0:04:11.490 --> 0:04:16.850 war against the flesh. This predisposition toward my way, my 0:04:16.910 --> 0:04:20.030 stuff is rooted in your heart and you'll have it 0:04:20.050 --> 0:04:23.370 until the day you die. But the Spirit of God 0:04:23.930 --> 0:04:27.980 can give you the ability to, in humility, look at 0:04:28.000 --> 0:04:32.020 the second half of that text. In humility, consider others 0:04:32.800 --> 0:04:36.100 as more important than yourself. Humility can be a very 0:04:36.160 --> 0:04:42.450 misunderstood word. So I came across a very, very interesting article. 0:04:43.529 --> 0:04:46.010 I think of humility as not thinking too highly of yourself, 0:04:46.089 --> 0:04:49.690 not thinking too lowly of yourself, but having an accurate, 0:04:49.930 --> 0:04:57.800 sober self assessment. As one person said, humility is not 0:04:58.180 --> 0:05:05.020 thinking less of yourself. Humility is just thinking less about yourself. 0:05:06.300 --> 0:05:09.860 They're doing science now on the benefits of virtues, things 0:05:09.900 --> 0:05:14.050 like forgiveness, or they've done lots of research on gratitude. 0:05:14.410 --> 0:05:16.890 You may have read some of that. This is an 0:05:16.990 --> 0:05:20.650 article by a professor at George Fox University who It's 0:05:20.710 --> 0:05:24.100 called The Science of Humility. It says, researchers have developed 0:05:24.160 --> 0:05:28.600 scales to measure intellectual humility, relational humility, cultural humility, and 0:05:28.660 --> 0:05:32.420 some are now working on spiritual humility as well. As 0:05:32.540 --> 0:05:35.960 with forgiveness and gratitude, humility fosters, now listen, this is 0:05:36.020 --> 0:05:39.130 what humility delivers. Are you ready for this? Humility fosters 0:05:39.270 --> 0:05:42.650 physical and mental and relational health. Humble people are more 0:05:42.790 --> 0:05:46.010 grateful and forgiving, so they enjoy the benefits of those virtues. 0:05:46.470 --> 0:05:51.240 They're also, humble people are more generous and helpful to others. Hey, 0:05:51.300 --> 0:05:55.349 this is a good one. They have better romantic relationships. 0:05:55.380 --> 0:05:58.030 For some of you, get humble right away, okay? They 0:05:58.070 --> 0:06:01.770 have better romantic relationships, have less anxiety about death, and 0:06:01.830 --> 0:06:06.730 experience less spiritual struggle. Those parents who are concerned about 0:06:06.750 --> 0:06:10.529 your kids, people that are humble perform better at school, 0:06:10.589 --> 0:06:14.500 show more compassion to others, and even have better self-esteem 0:06:15.040 --> 0:06:18.150 than less humble people. So in other words, they're doing 0:06:18.230 --> 0:06:22.810 scientific research and what God has commanded, what delights our 0:06:22.850 --> 0:06:28.900 Father and what Christ modeled amazingly is the genuine humility. 0:06:30.760 --> 0:06:34.580 Not putting yourself first, but actually considering the needs of others. 0:06:35.400 --> 0:06:37.669 It's what we call around here and you'll learn more 0:06:37.700 --> 0:06:41.250 about in this series. It's the I am second mentality. 0:06:41.770 --> 0:06:44.589 I mean, it just goes completely against everything. I am 0:06:44.610 --> 0:06:47.710 second mentality. as I go through the line. I am 0:06:47.870 --> 0:06:50.630 second as I drive on the freeway. I am second 0:06:50.650 --> 0:06:52.610 when I think about my rights and my marriage. I 0:06:52.710 --> 0:06:55.030 am second when I think about the needs with my roommate. 0:06:55.990 --> 0:06:59.970 I am second when we're trying to divide something and 0:07:00.120 --> 0:07:04.060 see who gets the bigger piece. The article goes on 0:07:05.279 --> 0:07:08.219 and says that humility, this is very important, does not 0:07:08.279 --> 0:07:12.520 require self-loathing or self-belittling, but it calls for us to 0:07:12.800 --> 0:07:15.260 dial back our normal tendency, are you ready for this, 0:07:15.720 --> 0:07:20.680 to overestimate our abilities and behaviors. Now, I never do that. 0:07:21.420 --> 0:07:23.200 And you never do that. But there's some people out 0:07:23.240 --> 0:07:26.690 there that overestimate their abilities and their behaviors. And you 0:07:26.710 --> 0:07:30.530 know I'm teasing. I love it. He goes, there's three 0:07:30.610 --> 0:07:35.330 characteristics of people that are genuinely humble. Number one, they 0:07:35.370 --> 0:07:39.790 have a reasonably accurate view of themselves. Neither too high 0:07:40.450 --> 0:07:45.380 or neither too low. Pretty biblical. Number two, is they. 0:07:46.840 --> 0:07:52.000 Care more deeply or have a concern and notice other people. 0:07:52.780 --> 0:07:59.870 And then number three is humble people are teachable. So 0:08:00.190 --> 0:08:04.170 genuine humility is rooted in some characteristics and according to 0:08:04.230 --> 0:08:08.010 the scientific study, which actually is pretty biblical whether they 0:08:08.050 --> 0:08:11.260 know it or not, is that they have a pretty 0:08:11.380 --> 0:08:13.400 accurate view of themselves. In other words, I'm not the 0:08:13.440 --> 0:08:15.910 center of the world. Are you ready? I'm not the 0:08:15.990 --> 0:08:20.530 smartest person in the room. My opinions aren't always the best. 0:08:20.950 --> 0:08:23.450 My perspective of what we ought to do or my 0:08:23.510 --> 0:08:26.090 decision isn't necessarily better than others. But it doesn't mean 0:08:26.110 --> 0:08:28.750 that I don't have good thoughts and my decisions and 0:08:28.790 --> 0:08:31.990 my perspective can be very valid. So they don't think 0:08:32.030 --> 0:08:34.550 too high. They don't think too low. The second one 0:08:34.620 --> 0:08:38.339 is They really consider the thoughts, the interests, and the 0:08:38.380 --> 0:08:42.490 feelings of others. Humble people are sensitive. Humble people notice 0:08:42.510 --> 0:08:44.990 the person that when everyone gets out and walks out 0:08:45.010 --> 0:08:47.430 of here, humble people see the people that no one 0:08:47.470 --> 0:08:50.720 said hi to. Humble people notice the needs of other people. 0:08:51.350 --> 0:08:54.350 Genuinely humble people, I'm always amazed that, you know, maybe 0:08:54.390 --> 0:08:57.110 I'll have a passing conversation with someone and like a 0:08:57.150 --> 0:08:59.850 week later, two weeks later, like get a note or 0:09:00.190 --> 0:09:03.390 get something in the mail. I was meeting with someone 0:09:03.410 --> 0:09:05.839 a long time ago and they watched me fiddle with 0:09:06.160 --> 0:09:09.319 trying to recharge. You know, you got all these rechargers 0:09:09.360 --> 0:09:11.819 and all this different stuff. Out of the blue, a 0:09:11.860 --> 0:09:15.620 week later, I get a package. There's no name. There's 0:09:15.660 --> 0:09:18.140 no note. There's no anything. I don't know what it is. 0:09:18.179 --> 0:09:20.720 I open the package. And it's one of these bars 0:09:21.460 --> 0:09:24.280 that has one, two, three, four, five, where you can 0:09:24.300 --> 0:09:26.469 hook in your phone, everything else with a plug, and 0:09:26.490 --> 0:09:30.630 you plug the thing in. I use it every day. Humility. 0:09:30.710 --> 0:09:33.990 Someone didn't say a word, saw I had a need, 0:09:34.590 --> 0:09:36.770 and addressed the need. And third, and I think this 0:09:36.809 --> 0:09:40.950 is big, they're teachable. They realize that they're on the 0:09:40.990 --> 0:09:45.590 journey too. At the heart of not being humble is 0:09:45.650 --> 0:09:51.130 not thinking lowly of yourself, belittling yourself, condemning yourself. In fact, 0:09:52.450 --> 0:09:55.770 the second way to become more loving is attack the 0:09:55.830 --> 0:09:59.050 root of the problem. And then I want you to 0:09:59.110 --> 0:10:04.200 write in the word. pride. Attack the root of the problem. 0:10:05.080 --> 0:10:07.840 If you will, right underneath where you see verse 3, 0:10:07.840 --> 0:10:13.119 circle the world empty conceit. Do nothing from selfish ambition 0:10:13.800 --> 0:10:20.240 or empty conceit. Selfish ambition, selfishness is what we do. 0:10:20.559 --> 0:10:22.690 The root of the problem is why we do it. 0:10:23.090 --> 0:10:25.900 That's empty conceit. Or I love, write this word down. 0:10:26.490 --> 0:10:29.070 I love this phrase. It's an old, old, old version 0:10:29.090 --> 0:10:34.130 of King James. Vain glory, empty glory. You say, well, 0:10:34.210 --> 0:10:40.250 what's vain glory? What's empty conceit? Well, a good street 0:10:40.290 --> 0:10:44.079 name is pride, but that's sort of It's kind of 0:10:44.120 --> 0:10:47.599 a big word. Let me give you some very specific 0:10:48.340 --> 0:10:54.420 pictures of empty conceit. Empty conceit is I'm better. I'm 0:10:54.490 --> 0:11:00.730 more important. I'm superior. I'm more intelligent. My time matters 0:11:00.770 --> 0:11:06.910 more than yours. My life matters more than you. I 0:11:06.950 --> 0:11:09.610 have greater value. I have greater worth. Now, you may 0:11:09.650 --> 0:11:12.429 not say that outside in your head, but our behavior matters. 0:11:13.750 --> 0:11:18.939 Our behavior just screams vain glory. I like the way 0:11:18.960 --> 0:11:24.260 I said that, glory, right? It's this, I'm the center 0:11:24.350 --> 0:11:26.110 of the world and I can clothe it with all 0:11:26.150 --> 0:11:31.530 kind of Bible verses. And I can actually, in a 0:11:31.570 --> 0:11:35.839 Christian way, do image management to try and project I'm humble. 0:11:37.500 --> 0:11:40.359 which is that the empty conceit, the idea is I 0:11:40.420 --> 0:11:44.059 want everyone to have this amazing opinion of me that 0:11:44.100 --> 0:11:47.900 I either want for myself or actually think I have. 0:11:49.640 --> 0:11:52.460 You're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. 0:11:52.900 --> 0:11:55.220 We'll hear more from Chip in just a moment. If 0:11:55.260 --> 0:11:57.880 today's message is speaking to your heart, don't keep it 0:11:57.920 --> 0:12:00.780 to yourself. Share this teaching with someone who needs to 0:12:00.820 --> 0:12:05.819 hear it by visiting livingontheedge.org. While you're there, be sure 0:12:05.840 --> 0:12:08.720 to check out all of the other faith-building resources we 0:12:08.760 --> 0:12:13.220 have available, including teaching videos, blogs, and devotionals from Chip. 0:12:13.880 --> 0:12:19.230 It's all waiting for you at livingontheedge.org. Let's continue with 0:12:19.300 --> 0:12:19.950 Chip's message. 0:12:20.710 --> 0:12:24.349 I made a list because this got very convicting and 0:12:24.390 --> 0:12:28.569 I thought, oh boy. I made a list of some 0:12:28.670 --> 0:12:32.620 ways that when this happens in me, okay, this isn't you, 0:12:32.670 --> 0:12:35.740 this is me. When these things happen in me, what 0:12:35.780 --> 0:12:40.800 I know is vain glory, empty conceit, pride is raising 0:12:40.970 --> 0:12:43.290 its ugly head. And then I'm going to talk to 0:12:43.309 --> 0:12:46.110 you about how to go into training. And did you 0:12:46.150 --> 0:12:51.800 notice the violent words I've used? Declare war. Attack. In 0:12:51.820 --> 0:12:53.460 other words, you gotta get to the root of the problem. 0:12:53.620 --> 0:12:56.120 This isn't about, I think I'm gonna try and be 0:12:56.160 --> 0:12:59.750 more loving and I'll tell someone I forgive. No, this 0:13:00.110 --> 0:13:03.250 is heart stuff, root stuff. This is stuff that's so 0:13:03.330 --> 0:13:06.690 deeply in your psyche and in your soul and mind 0:13:07.030 --> 0:13:10.090 that you have to declare war. I refuse in light 0:13:10.110 --> 0:13:12.130 of what God's done for me to be a selfish person. 0:13:12.530 --> 0:13:15.380 I'm going to attack the root problem. And the root 0:13:15.420 --> 0:13:18.619 problem is in my thinking. I become the center of 0:13:18.660 --> 0:13:21.400 things even subtly because in my thinking I think I'm 0:13:21.440 --> 0:13:23.400 better or I want to project that I'm better. In 0:13:23.440 --> 0:13:25.740 my thinking my time and my money and what I 0:13:25.780 --> 0:13:34.010 do is more important. It's lethal. It destroys relationships. It's unloving. 0:13:35.330 --> 0:13:39.030 And so when these things happen in my life what 0:13:39.100 --> 0:13:44.640 I know is pride. Defensiveness. Someone makes a comment to 0:13:44.679 --> 0:13:46.780 me and my immediately It could be my wife. It 0:13:46.820 --> 0:13:48.160 can be in a meeting. It could be one of 0:13:48.200 --> 0:13:50.520 my kids. It can be someone I don't know very much. 0:13:51.100 --> 0:13:53.930 They say something. We're talking about something. And I hear myself. 0:13:54.210 --> 0:13:57.550 I'm defensive. Well, why? Because I've got to guard. I've 0:13:57.570 --> 0:14:01.630 got to prove. I've got to protect. Whatever they've said 0:14:01.650 --> 0:14:04.720 that sort of hit a button inside. Second, making excuses. 0:14:06.920 --> 0:14:10.109 It's my pride. Pride. I didn't do it wrong. I 0:14:10.150 --> 0:14:12.390 didn't mess up. It was them. It was late. It 0:14:12.429 --> 0:14:14.309 was the traffic. If they would have done this on time, 0:14:14.350 --> 0:14:17.349 I would have had it on time. It's, you name it. 0:14:19.350 --> 0:14:21.090 In fact, related to that one is when I hear 0:14:21.130 --> 0:14:25.170 myself blaming other people, I know that's pride. In other words, 0:14:25.710 --> 0:14:30.440 don't look at me and think it's my fault. See, humility, 0:14:30.460 --> 0:14:34.040 you know what humility does? And it actually gains, it 0:14:34.200 --> 0:14:38.710 actually gains the credibility of people When you actually make 0:14:38.750 --> 0:14:41.250 a mistake, when you're actually late, when you really blow it, 0:14:41.270 --> 0:14:44.310 when you don't come through, it's amazing what happens when 0:14:44.350 --> 0:14:46.710 you say, you know, hey, I hope you all will. 0:14:47.340 --> 0:14:51.050 I just apologize. That was a deadline. I didn't hit it. 0:14:51.880 --> 0:14:53.660 I could give you a number of reasons. None of 0:14:53.720 --> 0:14:56.120 them really measure up other than I didn't use my 0:14:56.160 --> 0:14:59.160 time wisely. I went down some bad paths in terms 0:14:59.200 --> 0:15:01.620 of how to solve this problem. I'd like to ask 0:15:01.640 --> 0:15:05.610 you guys to forgive me. You know what normally happens? 0:15:05.870 --> 0:15:08.990 Everyone in the room knows they do that too. But 0:15:09.050 --> 0:15:14.500 so often we blame, we make excuses. In my marriage 0:15:14.550 --> 0:15:17.620 for many years, I remember my wife saying this. She 0:15:17.660 --> 0:15:19.160 said it in the presence of a counselor, so it 0:15:19.200 --> 0:15:22.340 was very unpleasant. Chip, you always have to have the 0:15:22.380 --> 0:15:26.480 last word. Does that ring a bell? You always have 0:15:26.500 --> 0:15:29.550 to have the last word. And I had to go 0:15:29.590 --> 0:15:33.100 into training to realize why. Why? Because down deep, it's, 0:15:33.140 --> 0:15:36.239 I've got to be right. I've got to declare. And 0:15:36.960 --> 0:15:39.920 it was all about these insecurities and this pride. I 0:15:40.940 --> 0:15:43.540 remember evaluating things, and especially some of you that are 0:15:44.000 --> 0:15:46.470 in business or if you have some leadership or strategic 0:15:46.630 --> 0:15:50.130 views of things, and the challenge is if you're really 0:15:50.170 --> 0:15:54.190 pretty good at it. I remember a number of years ago, 0:15:54.230 --> 0:15:56.150 it was probably a decade ago, I would hope it'd 0:15:56.170 --> 0:15:57.920 be a little bit more, but honestly, probably about a 0:15:57.960 --> 0:16:01.060 decade ago, when I realized, when I evaluated things, I 0:16:01.080 --> 0:16:03.130 had this subtle view that when I looked at all 0:16:03.150 --> 0:16:05.610 the pieces and I aligned all the pieces, that my 0:16:05.710 --> 0:16:10.050 view was the truth. My view. In other words, I've 0:16:10.080 --> 0:16:11.880 looked at this, I've looked at this, I've prayed about it, 0:16:11.900 --> 0:16:14.520 I've got it all together. My view of this situation 0:16:14.580 --> 0:16:19.920 is the truth. And boy, did I find out either 0:16:19.960 --> 0:16:21.800 I didn't read the pieces right or I didn't have 0:16:21.820 --> 0:16:24.420 all the pieces. And I had a couple of experiences 0:16:24.440 --> 0:16:28.020 where I was so wrong. And now when I have 0:16:28.060 --> 0:16:31.170 a conversation that where I have to confront someone and 0:16:31.210 --> 0:16:35.300 it's really difficult and it's really tender, I try to 0:16:35.460 --> 0:16:38.500 always preface it with something like this. Now, I want 0:16:38.540 --> 0:16:41.220 you to know that I need to say a couple 0:16:41.260 --> 0:16:43.830 things that will be hard to hear, but here's what 0:16:43.880 --> 0:16:47.570 you need to hear first. This is my perspective, not 0:16:47.610 --> 0:16:50.110 to be confused with the truth. I don't know the reality. 0:16:50.700 --> 0:16:53.020 But what I want you to know and what I'm responsible, 0:16:53.460 --> 0:16:56.620 this is my perspective. I'd like you to take this 0:16:56.800 --> 0:16:59.680 perspective and would you weigh this before God to see 0:16:59.740 --> 0:17:01.450 what truth is in it? Do you see the difference? 0:17:02.770 --> 0:17:08.990 My list is actually longer. Well, here's one. I was 0:17:09.070 --> 0:17:14.190 perpetually late for almost everything for years. You know the 0:17:14.230 --> 0:17:17.780 guy that's dashing onto the plane in the old years 0:17:17.820 --> 0:17:20.500 before there was all that security or The person who's 0:17:20.660 --> 0:17:22.919 rushing in and running out of the parking lot and 0:17:23.220 --> 0:17:25.340 coming in two minutes late or five minutes late. I 0:17:25.380 --> 0:17:29.869 was late, late, late, late, late. And I tried hard 0:17:29.900 --> 0:17:32.969 and it really bugged my wife. And then I had 0:17:32.990 --> 0:17:35.570 a breakthrough. My problem was not being late. My problem 0:17:35.609 --> 0:17:39.570 wasn't self-will. My problem wasn't discipline. My problem was grandiosity. 0:17:40.570 --> 0:17:44.890 And when I saw that it was so ugly, I changed. 0:17:45.930 --> 0:17:48.360 Some of you are saying, so what exactly is grandiosity? Grandiosity? 0:17:49.130 --> 0:17:54.109 Grandiosity is thinking whatever you're doing is so important. And 0:17:54.130 --> 0:17:58.570 if I can say this kindly, we come here on 0:17:58.609 --> 0:18:02.270 a weekend to adore and give our very best to 0:18:02.290 --> 0:18:05.410 the creator of the universe and the savior that died 0:18:05.450 --> 0:18:07.760 upon a cross to pay for our sin and rose 0:18:07.800 --> 0:18:11.320 from the dead and has given us eternal life. The 0:18:11.380 --> 0:18:14.780 grandiosity to come in 5, 10, 15, 20 minutes late. 0:18:14.800 --> 0:18:22.130 The grandiosity of during a song or during this time 0:18:22.170 --> 0:18:24.949 when I'm teaching the very word of God, you checking 0:18:24.990 --> 0:18:30.550 your email and having your phone open is arrogance. It's 0:18:30.570 --> 0:18:35.660 just arrogance. And, you know, please, you know, I always 0:18:35.880 --> 0:18:38.280 hear pastors say, I don't want you to feel guilty. Actually, 0:18:38.400 --> 0:18:41.280 I want you to feel guilty. If you're guilty, guilt's 0:18:41.320 --> 0:18:44.679 a really good thing. If there's genuine sorrow, you repent 0:18:44.720 --> 0:18:47.429 and you realize, Oh, I never thought of it that way. 0:18:47.630 --> 0:18:49.810 I'm not saying you thought of it intentionally. I'm just 0:18:49.850 --> 0:18:52.670 telling you what it is. If this was a U2 concert, 0:18:52.869 --> 0:18:55.250 this place would be packed two hours and people would 0:18:55.290 --> 0:18:57.530 rush to get in. When you buy tickets to a movie, 0:18:57.690 --> 0:19:01.669 you don't go a half hour late. See, we have 0:19:01.690 --> 0:19:05.410 a consumer mindset. There is a grandiosity and an arrogance. 0:19:06.830 --> 0:19:09.670 And it needs to be changed. And so notice point 0:19:09.710 --> 0:19:15.830 number three is choose to practice humility daily. By putting others' 0:19:15.910 --> 0:19:19.330 needs and interests ahead of your own. Don't consider just 0:19:19.369 --> 0:19:24.070 your own interests, although the passage is clear, take them 0:19:24.109 --> 0:19:27.650 into account, but consider the interests of others as more 0:19:27.750 --> 0:19:30.369 important than your own. Where are we going to go 0:19:30.410 --> 0:19:31.990 to eat? Where would you like to go to eat? 0:19:33.970 --> 0:19:36.429 Maybe this person has to get to work. It's as 0:19:36.510 --> 0:19:41.750 important or more important than you. What would happen? What 0:19:41.790 --> 0:19:45.780 would happen? if we declared war on selfishness, if we 0:19:45.820 --> 0:19:48.400 said I'm going to attack the root of this problem, 0:19:48.420 --> 0:19:51.160 which is really my own pride, this empty conceit, this 0:19:51.200 --> 0:19:53.359 vain glory. And then this week, I'm going to go 0:19:53.400 --> 0:19:57.260 into training. And I'm going to choose very specifically in little, 0:19:57.320 --> 0:20:00.770 little things that will grow into bigger and bigger things. 0:20:01.050 --> 0:20:03.190 I'm going to choose in my money to be generous. 0:20:03.290 --> 0:20:05.220 I'm going to choose in my time to be generous. Yes. 0:20:07.030 --> 0:20:10.950 And we'll talk about exactly how very specifically to put 0:20:10.970 --> 0:20:15.560 that in practice. Ask yourself, where does my money go? 0:20:16.940 --> 0:20:20.540 Loving toward God and others or me? Where does my 0:20:20.619 --> 0:20:25.040 time go? Toward God and others or me? Where does 0:20:25.080 --> 0:20:31.390 my energy go? Father, I pray now as there are many, many, 0:20:31.430 --> 0:20:36.330 many relationships that are fractured. And it will require only 0:20:36.550 --> 0:20:39.130 one person to admit at the heart of it, regardless 0:20:39.150 --> 0:20:42.850 of the other person, that pride and selfishness and arrogance 0:20:42.890 --> 0:20:46.290 is at the core and a repentance before you. And 0:20:46.350 --> 0:20:52.230 then the next steps of asking forgiveness and restitution and 0:20:52.270 --> 0:20:56.510 even reconciliation in some cases where it's possible. So Lord, 0:20:56.530 --> 0:21:00.709 would you bring to mind in this room the people 0:21:01.690 --> 0:21:04.689 that need to get a call, a lunch, a coffee, 0:21:05.330 --> 0:21:08.689 a text, a letter, a note of apology, so that 0:21:08.710 --> 0:21:10.550 we could love others the way you've loved us. 0:21:13.890 --> 0:21:16.669 This is Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram, and 0:21:16.690 --> 0:21:20.780 we're in our series called Choosing Love. Today, Chip challenged 0:21:20.880 --> 0:21:25.060 us with three radical steps. Declare war on selfishness, attack 0:21:25.100 --> 0:21:28.600 the root of pride, and practice humility daily by putting 0:21:28.720 --> 0:21:32.200 others first. Chip will be back with some final thoughts 0:21:32.260 --> 0:21:35.080 in just a moment. If you're ready to turn today's 0:21:35.160 --> 0:21:39.240 challenge into lasting change, Chip's newest book, I Choose Love, 0:21:39.560 --> 0:21:42.900 gives you the practical roadmap you need. It doesn't just 0:21:43.020 --> 0:21:45.439 tell you what to do. It shows you how to 0:21:45.480 --> 0:21:48.790 do it. You'll learn to recognize the subtle ways pride 0:21:48.850 --> 0:21:54.030 and selfishness sabotage your relationships. You'll discover practical exercises to 0:21:54.070 --> 0:21:58.109 develop genuine humility. And you'll see how choosing agape love, 0:21:58.410 --> 0:22:02.630 the sacrificial, others-focused love of God, transforms even your most 0:22:02.750 --> 0:22:07.070 difficult relationships. I Choose Love addresses the real issues we 0:22:07.150 --> 0:22:10.070 all face. The tendency to need the last word, the 0:22:10.130 --> 0:22:13.850 subtle belief that our perspective is the truth, the grandiosity 0:22:13.890 --> 0:22:17.560 that shows up in small ways like chronic lateness. Chip 0:22:17.600 --> 0:22:20.619 gets brutally honest about his own struggles, and he shows 0:22:20.660 --> 0:22:24.360 you the path forward. If you're tired of broken relationships 0:22:24.500 --> 0:22:27.820 and ready to experience love that actually works, get your 0:22:27.859 --> 0:22:33.910 copy of I Choose Love today. visit livingontheedge.org. And friend, 0:22:34.070 --> 0:22:37.060 this Bible teaching program is reaching you and countless others 0:22:37.460 --> 0:22:40.160 because of the faithful giving of listeners just like you. 0:22:40.760 --> 0:22:43.359 When you give to Living on the Edge, you're multiplying 0:22:43.400 --> 0:22:47.459 this message of transformative love around the world. Would you 0:22:47.500 --> 0:22:51.990 join us? Visit livingontheedge.org to give, or just call us 0:22:52.050 --> 0:22:53.550 at 888-333-6003. Well, now here's Chip with a final thought. 0:22:58.640 --> 0:23:01.860 Before we do anything else in this broadcast, I want 0:23:01.880 --> 0:23:05.830 to pause. I just prayed. And now I want to 0:23:05.920 --> 0:23:10.629 talk to you very honestly and sincerely about your life. 0:23:11.510 --> 0:23:13.250 You know, the fact of the matter is, is that 0:23:13.930 --> 0:23:16.470 you need to ask and I need to ask. So 0:23:17.330 --> 0:23:22.450 where does your money go? And what actions really indicate 0:23:22.490 --> 0:23:25.760 that you love God and you love other people? me, 0:23:25.920 --> 0:23:28.440 where does your time go? And this is not about 0:23:28.500 --> 0:23:31.840 me in any way seeking to poke around or make 0:23:31.880 --> 0:23:35.020 you feel guilty. This is about you and me as 0:23:35.160 --> 0:23:39.109 brother and sisters in Christ coming before the throne of 0:23:39.150 --> 0:23:45.330 God and saying, love isn't just a feeling. Love chooses 0:23:45.450 --> 0:23:49.850 to serve. It chooses to give. It chooses to get 0:23:50.030 --> 0:23:53.170 out of our comfort zone. It's the platinum rule. Love says, 0:23:53.700 --> 0:23:57.360 This is what God has done in us. And something 0:23:57.560 --> 0:24:00.939 inside of us, the spirit of a living God, compels 0:24:01.060 --> 0:24:04.350 us to release our time and our money and our 0:24:04.490 --> 0:24:08.149 energy to meet the needs of other people. And so 0:24:08.210 --> 0:24:10.650 I'd like you, you know, if you're driving, don't do this. 0:24:10.730 --> 0:24:13.330 But if you're not driving, would you just open your 0:24:13.390 --> 0:24:17.480 palms upward and say, Lord, it's your money, it's your time, 0:24:17.580 --> 0:24:20.800 it's your gifts, it's your talents. Would you bring to 0:24:20.859 --> 0:24:25.139 my mind just today Who could I extend money and 0:24:25.240 --> 0:24:28.560 time and energy and love to? And Lord, would you 0:24:28.600 --> 0:24:31.800 help me see first and foremost under the roof where 0:24:31.940 --> 0:24:34.840 I live, my roommate or my husband, my wife, my kids, 0:24:35.340 --> 0:24:38.600 would you help me to be an other-centered follower of Jesus? 0:24:39.600 --> 0:24:41.840 And then watch how the Spirit of God will work 0:24:41.900 --> 0:24:42.879 in you and through you. 0:24:43.800 --> 0:24:47.140 Ready to see humility in action? I'm Dave Drewy. Join 0:24:47.200 --> 0:24:49.740 us tomorrow as Chip Ingram unpacks what it means to 0:24:49.820 --> 0:24:56.290 truly serve on Living on the Edge. Today's program is 0:24:56.350 --> 0:24:58.720 produced and sponsored by Living on the Edge.