Speaker 1: Hey, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Alchemy.
Speaker 1: This I am your guest host or just post. No,
Speaker 1: I'm not the host, but you know who I am.
Speaker 1: I'm Chris Alvarado, and I'm sitting in for Kevin. I'm
Speaker 1: sitting in for James, I'm sitting in for Cole, I'm
Speaker 1: sitting in for Craig. It's just been going that way recently.
Speaker 1: But I am not alone. No, I'm not alone in
Speaker 1: this world. No, and I'm not alone here today for
Speaker 1: this particular recording because I am joined by my friends,
Speaker 1: my colleagues, my artistic brethren. Let's say hello to them
Speaker 1: in no particular order. Let's start with Jackie to Ruthie. Hi, Jackie, boy,
Speaker 1: you and you and I are friends, which is nice.
Speaker 1: It's nice to say that, say these are my friends
Speaker 1: and you are my actual friend. Jackie. Here's something I
Speaker 1: don't know about you, though. Do you talk to people
Speaker 1: in line at the grocery store CVS type stuffy? Like?
Speaker 1: Will you you engage? I'll talked about any buddy, yeah,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, oh yeah, I'll tell people I like their outfit,
Speaker 1: you know, I like to connect. And then like when
Speaker 1: you're walking your dog, do do you wave to people
Speaker 1: in the street or say hi to people in the street.
Speaker 1: I'll certainly smile, I'll certainly say hi, yeah. And if
Speaker 1: they have a dog too, we're talking like a day.
Speaker 1: In fact, there is a man who walks who I've
Speaker 1: I've actually only seen him like a few times. It
Speaker 1: was like, you know, pretty consistent that I every time
Speaker 1: when I would take or Zo to like go pee
Speaker 1: at this certain hour, he'd be walking his dog who
Speaker 1: was like this very sweet husky named Cora. And Cora
Speaker 1: was just like very sweet and like very nice to
Speaker 1: oor Zoe and whatever, and so we'd like not even chat.
Speaker 1: I just knew that the dog's name was Cora. But
Speaker 1: then I hadn't seen them in a while. And then
Speaker 1: I was at the park that I go to with
Speaker 1: the dog and Cora came in and I was like, Cora.
Speaker 1: I was also wearing sunglasses, a baseball cap, and I
Speaker 1: was wearing a mask at the time because I had
Speaker 1: like the sniffles, and I was like, I'm negative, but
Speaker 1: I don't know, guys, I'm just like I'm not giving
Speaker 1: anyone whatever. We're outside, I have a mask on, so
Speaker 1: I'm completely camouflaged, and I'm like Cora and the guys
Speaker 1: just like the Funk and I had to like, like,
Speaker 1: it's me, We've never or so because we've never changed names. Okay, right,
Speaker 1: I find it. I find it. My neighborhood people aren't
Speaker 1: very nice that way. Okay. I mean, you know, but
Speaker 1: you know who is nice to much time? No, you
Speaker 1: know who's always been nice though, Jackie said, you and
Speaker 1: me and everybody's ever met. James Heeney. Absolutely, James is
Speaker 1: known for being nice. James, do you recall can you
Speaker 1: give us an estimate of the price of the most
Speaker 1: expensive dinner you've ever paid for that I've ever paid for?
Speaker 1: Probably it's not that much. I mean, I'd say probably
Speaker 1: two hundred dollars for Aaron and I together. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: probably the most I've ever paid for a dinner. I've
Speaker 1: been so blessed that I've been on more expensive dinners.
Speaker 1: I've just never had to pay for them. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: went to a place in Sedona. I don't know, they
Speaker 1: don't have prices on the menu, so I have no
Speaker 1: idea how much it was. But it was outdoors and
Speaker 1: our table was next to a creek with running water
Speaker 1: next to us, and it was amazing I don't know
Speaker 1: the price, but I'm certain it's the most expensive meal
Speaker 1: I'll ever have. James, I love that you don't know
Speaker 1: the price. I check this out, James on I just
Speaker 1: got back from Italy. At one of the places we stayed,
Speaker 1: check this out. We thought maybe we were crazy the
Speaker 1: first night, but we went to the same restaurant two
Speaker 1: nights in a row, and I've never heard of this.
Speaker 1: They hand me the man the menu with the prices
Speaker 1: on it, and they handed my wife the menu without prices.
Speaker 1: I have never heard of it. But of course Jessica
Speaker 1: wants to know how much, so I would just we
Speaker 1: just switch. Isn't that wild? Okay? Who, Well, we're gonna
Speaker 1: we'll talk to Craig in a second. He is here,
Speaker 1: but he's just not next on my list to get
Speaker 1: his take on the menus. But you know who is next?
Speaker 1: Market Gagliardi, everybody. I love that menu thing. I know
Speaker 1: it's super sexist, super sexist. I like the idea that
Speaker 1: you could walk and you'd be like, Hey, which menu
Speaker 1: do you want? Do you want the one with the
Speaker 1: prices on it? Are you like? Fuck it? Just give
Speaker 1: me the one that I could just go full hedonistic.
Speaker 1: I know it's weird. Yeah, it's sexist. Could it be romantic?
Speaker 1: I don't have never understood why you wouldn't want it,
Speaker 1: Like there's always just enough room for the price, you
Speaker 1: could just enough room to put This is on purpose
Speaker 1: so that the woman doesn't have to look at the price.
Speaker 1: She's not the worry. She just chooses based on what
Speaker 1: looks good because of course she's not paying, which was
Speaker 1: not the case with us, Mark, Mark, Yes, okay, I
Speaker 1: mean you know we split, we split. Sure. This is
Speaker 1: a I'm excited to ask you this question. I'm excited
Speaker 1: to answer it. Okay, for you personally, For you personally,
Speaker 1: I said, what's more valuable? But I don't know if
Speaker 1: that's the right wording. What's what? What do you like most? No,
Speaker 1: I'll say that, okay, for you personally, what's more valuable
Speaker 1: to you? A deadline article? I AMDB star meter or
Speaker 1: a Getty image. This is yeah, it is inside baseball.
Speaker 1: Um I think for me, I mean, I know, I know,
Speaker 1: I know. First Okay, it's such a it's such an
Speaker 1: actor centric question. I realized, and I love I like Um,
Speaker 1: I like the star meeter. I think because this star
Speaker 1: meter is quantifiable over time because you can look at
Speaker 1: you can look at the entire and I won't just
Speaker 1: apply this to like when I've googled myself, which I've
Speaker 1: never done, or searched myself, which I've you know, also
Speaker 1: never done. I don't know why I need to make
Speaker 1: a distinction between googling and searching myself, as if like, well,
Speaker 1: we all know bing as the default, but I've never
Speaker 1: binged or googled. Now. Um, but the star meter you
Speaker 1: can see an entire career arc. Uh, so it's uh,
Speaker 1: you know, it's there's more information in it. Have you
Speaker 1: seen God? Who was it? It was some comedy writer
Speaker 1: from l A. She got a purse. Have you seen
Speaker 1: this image? It's the Getty Image logo was purse and
Speaker 1: she wore it to red carpet events. So she would
Speaker 1: carry a purse and it would sling right in front
Speaker 1: of her midsection exactly in the same spot that a
Speaker 1: Getty Image logo would. And I think it's the most
Speaker 1: brilliant purse. I guess with this taking as little time
Speaker 1: as possible, I didn't realize Getty images were important. What
Speaker 1: exactly does it take to get a Getty image taken
Speaker 1: like why is that you have the red carpet Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think it's just red carpet images are red carpet images.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't I mean, probably do other images,
Speaker 1: but I think it kind of denotes that you were
Speaker 1: at an event that was worthy of being captured for
Speaker 1: all time almost you know. Now, if we're going with
Speaker 1: do at what point do I feel like I have
Speaker 1: made it? It's when I get an ice stock photo image.
Speaker 1: That's when I've made it. Is like me juggling and
Speaker 1: I become just the picture that pops up on I
Speaker 1: stock photo when it That's when I've made it. Uh.
Speaker 1: That was that was a little inside baseball. I'm so
Speaker 1: I'm thank you for answering, though, thank thank you for
Speaker 1: answering always. Alright, Craig Atkowski, everybody, Hi Craig, Hi, Chris Craig.
Speaker 1: I can talk to you about a million things forever,
Speaker 1: and I plan on doing so, just in this particular episode.
Speaker 1: Just a random question. Here are you or were you
Speaker 1: ever a Dungeons and Dragons guy? Nope, I can talk
Speaker 1: I can talk to you forever. That's that's the that's
Speaker 1: the end of that conversation. Um. I mean I'm kind
Speaker 1: of of the age that like I'm pretty much the
Speaker 1: age of the Stranger Things kids, you know, Like so
Speaker 1: like that's and so I was, you know, in my
Speaker 1: tweens and teens as the game was really exploding, and
Speaker 1: a few times I was gifted like Dungeon and Dragon,
Speaker 1: like Dungeon Masters sets and stuff like that, and I
Speaker 1: think I just I never understood, like because it's not
Speaker 1: a game with rules and stuff. There's like a concrete thing.
Speaker 1: And I think I try to get my friends together
Speaker 1: to play it, like based on a little bit of
Speaker 1: information that we had, and like you need somebody to
Speaker 1: like indoctrinate you into it. But now I kind of
Speaker 1: understand what it is is and I have no interest
Speaker 1: in play like you know, and not to like gender quality,
Speaker 1: like but I think at that time too, it's like, okay, well,
Speaker 1: like girls will play with dolls and boys we'll have
Speaker 1: this way to like creatively storytell like you know, be
Speaker 1: and charactors, where like we would do that with art barbies.
Speaker 1: And what's the prices were on the Dungeons and Dragons
Speaker 1: games and the dolls have no prices. It's weird, but
Speaker 1: I I improvise, you know, I I role play all
Speaker 1: the time, so it's like, that's fine. I'm an actor.
Speaker 1: I'm an improviser that scratches that itch for me. I
Speaker 1: have no particular affinity for fantasy worlds. M hmm, but
Speaker 1: God bless people people love it. I love that that
Speaker 1: brings people joy. Just I'm not that person. Well, I
Speaker 1: think all of us, us five are about to enter
Speaker 1: a fantasy world right now, or words, I should say,
Speaker 1: who's our dungeon master? Brought on by the suggestions of listeners, Yes,
Speaker 1: who either right in to our email or or for
Speaker 1: for priority selection or priority uh positioning in the queue.
Speaker 1: They can become a Patreon v I P. A supporter
Speaker 1: of the show. They can do this by going to
Speaker 1: Patreon dot com, slash alchemy this, or like I said,
Speaker 1: they can just shoot us an email. And by this
Speaker 1: point they certainly know our email address. But in case
Speaker 1: you don't know, it is alchemy this email at gmail
Speaker 1: dot com, it is actually at dot dot or seen
Speaker 1: one comes to us from an Alchemy v I P.
Speaker 1: Krry King Kerry says, Hi, guys, a prompt for you.
Speaker 1: Even in a post apocalyptic world, there is no escape
Speaker 1: from home owners associations h thanks. Hello, is there anybody
Speaker 1: in here who's hey, hey, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Speaker 1: It's okay, it's okay, I'm human, Still human, Still human,
Speaker 1: all right, do the test? Still human? Oh here, look
Speaker 1: look look at my pupils. Uh huh you can see them. Okay, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: no red, no red, no red. Okay, still human? Okay.
Speaker 1: What can I do for you? The water, if you
Speaker 1: need some water? No, no, actually, it's not about the water.
Speaker 1: It's some I hate to bring this up. It's about
Speaker 1: your lawn. Say what your lawn it's a little long.
Speaker 1: Oh well, you know I've been collecting and scavenging and
Speaker 1: yeah yeah, yeah, but I mean you couldn't scavenge yourself
Speaker 1: a lawnmower, because, uh, you know, we try to keep
Speaker 1: things tidy around here. I mean, look across the way,
Speaker 1: look at look at Sandra's place. Sandra Sanders. She's particular. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she likes to keep she's you know, we are particular
Speaker 1: as a neighborhood. You know, like all of her water
Speaker 1: drums are all lined up to see that. See how
Speaker 1: Sanders got her water drums lined up over there? Looks nice.
Speaker 1: I was just keep keeping this infant alive has been
Speaker 1: taking up most of my time. Sure, sure, sure, And
Speaker 1: we don't want to we don't want to infringe on
Speaker 1: you keeping an infant alive. But you know, maybe maybe
Speaker 1: pick up maybe pick up some of the shell casings
Speaker 1: out of the out of the driveway, you know. Oh okay,
Speaker 1: and just just really anything in life that you any
Speaker 1: advice you need about this. I really just looked to Sandra.
Speaker 1: Her place looks great. I mean, just look at Sandra's place, like,
Speaker 1: come on, and then I just feel I just feel
Speaker 1: like we haven't had a meeting in years, and you
Speaker 1: know what with the explosion and all, well sure, look,
Speaker 1: we all just found these houses. We all just found
Speaker 1: these houses. I get it. We all found these houses.
Speaker 1: And and when we first got here, we were like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know what, we're all gonna be here. We're gonna
Speaker 1: create a community, and is how we're gonna live now.
Speaker 1: And but you know, time's past a little, so clean
Speaker 1: it up, Blood Jaw. I think I think people are
Speaker 1: living in this neighborhood. Look at that. Look at that
Speaker 1: person's yard, crisp, clean cut grass, water barrels lined up.
Speaker 1: Come on, blood Jaw, we can go in there. We
Speaker 1: can just take over this town. Uh, I'm I'm so disoriented. No,
Speaker 1: I haven't eaten in days. There's probably human beings there.
Speaker 1: We can eat them. We'll cook them, we'll make a
Speaker 1: nice I'm on a spike of yeah, yeah, all right,
Speaker 1: So what should we do? Wait for nightfall and then
Speaker 1: and then raid the place that that one with the
Speaker 1: cut grass? Why wait for nightfall? I don't know, the
Speaker 1: element of surprise? Okay, yeah, I said no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I don't know why I didn't think of that, but
Speaker 1: that surprised me. It's supposed to be the leader blood Jaw.
Speaker 1: I usually look up to you for advice, are you okay? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm just wondering, like, uh, is this place zoned for
Speaker 1: for barbed wire? I don't know. I think the barb
Speaker 1: borris trying to keep us out. But if we sneak
Speaker 1: in there, I think we could just eat the humans
Speaker 1: that are there. Yeah, I'm sorry. Your pupils are really like, uh,
Speaker 1: I don't know what to call them, but pooling. Your
Speaker 1: pupils are pooling it the bottom here. My pupils are pooling.
Speaker 1: Your pupils are kind of polish, those ping uh Sandra
Speaker 1: Sandra hum yes, human across the street. Let's test two
Speaker 1: or four. Al Right, now, put your right foot in,
Speaker 1: put your right foot out, put your right foot in,
Speaker 1: shake it all about. M M all right, that's human.
Speaker 1: That's no one else can hokey pokey, come on in. Hi. Hi.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure we've officially met. Like I said, I'm
Speaker 1: across the street two or four. Nice to meet you.
Speaker 1: You might have heard the baby baby cries. I found
Speaker 1: an infant in an at tire, so I've been raising
Speaker 1: to actually stay inside. Uh. Yeah, that's smart, that's smart.
Speaker 1: That's smart. Smart. Um. I was visited by someone earlier
Speaker 1: who was kind of giving me the rundown about the
Speaker 1: way this society is going to be moving on from
Speaker 1: from here on forward, rules or whatnot. Familiar. Well, if
Speaker 1: you're talking about Don, yeah, I'm very familiar. Yeah Don
Speaker 1: Don Yeah. Um uh, I guess I'm just here to say, like,
Speaker 1: it's not really that big of a deal with my
Speaker 1: lawn is unmowed or or I'm not bringing the trash
Speaker 1: cans in. After you want to talk about this kind
Speaker 1: of stuff, we'll have an h O a meeting. Okay, Oh,
Speaker 1: I just thought maybe we can have a friendly you
Speaker 1: know friendly. And this is when you open up the
Speaker 1: blind spots and easily open up our defenses. When we
Speaker 1: just start casually going to each other's houses to have
Speaker 1: conversations about things, we give the blood suckers opportunity to infiltrate.
Speaker 1: M hmm. Because your baby is not with you right now,
Speaker 1: So your baby's going in your house right now. You
Speaker 1: see what I mean. So if you want to call
Speaker 1: an official h and, let's keep it safe. Let's keep
Speaker 1: it safe. But at the end of the day, a
Speaker 1: scotch scotch, Yeah, yes, cap flush. Look what they're doing
Speaker 1: out there, They're just meeting in the middle of the day,
Speaker 1: just walking around. Oh my god, Maybe they're just idiots.
Speaker 1: Maybe we could just go in there and take this
Speaker 1: town without even waiting for the element of surprise. How
Speaker 1: we need the element of surprise? Remember, we gotta wait
Speaker 1: until nightfall. Hey, that was I saw you talking to
Speaker 1: blood yall earlier. Yeah? Is he okay? I don't know, honestly,
Speaker 1: it was my idea to wait for nightfall. He seems
Speaker 1: a little out of it. I don't know if he's
Speaker 1: fully human anymore. His eyes are pooling. I don't know
Speaker 1: if he's should be the leader. Don't. I don't want
Speaker 1: to eat a baby. I don't want to get a baby.
Speaker 1: Oh here is shut up, Shut up baby. Okay, I'm
Speaker 1: trying to I'm so hungry that my pupils are pulling.
Speaker 1: My pupils are pulling. Uh alright, this is official h
Speaker 1: O A meeting. Thank you guys for meeting at my house. Yeah. Um,
Speaker 1: an issue that I wanted to address was I understand
Speaker 1: that we all everybody, yes, I'm sorry, I'm gonna have
Speaker 1: a doughnut, Okay, go for it. I understand that we
Speaker 1: all agreed that putting us spikes in a lawns was
Speaker 1: a bit of an eyesore. However, Um, we have been
Speaker 1: seeing bloodsuckers within the community. The barbed wire is not enough,
Speaker 1: and I think that we should talk about another line
Speaker 1: of defense because you know, I've killed seventeen of these
Speaker 1: things and it takes a toll on you, you know, emotionally.
Speaker 1: Where are you going to get the funding for this?
Speaker 1: I'm already giving you one one being a week. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm paying, I'm paying my dues. I went umps to
Speaker 1: two or three beans a week. You know who's paying
Speaker 1: for this. I'm listen. We could we could, we could scavenge,
Speaker 1: we could send out a team to just find these
Speaker 1: you know poles, just errant poles. And weren't you being
Speaker 1: a team player two oh four. I'm just trying to
Speaker 1: figure stuff out here. Hey remember remember remember back in
Speaker 1: the old world there there was that show Arctic Scavengers. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: with the Polar bears. Oh it was good. That was
Speaker 1: a good show. Yeah I miss that show. Yeah, man,
Speaker 1: we all missed TV. You know what, let's all take
Speaker 1: a second donut. There's a lot of donuts. I don't
Speaker 1: want to just take a second donut. Okay, take a donut,
Speaker 1: leave a bean. Take a donut, leave a bean. I
Speaker 1: was actually just going to say, let's take a moment
Speaker 1: for two of four's um infant. The infant. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: shame about that kid. That was sad, Yeah sad. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: I mean she you know, she wasn't mine, right, but
Speaker 1: you were responsible for her or your responsible for her. Okay,
Speaker 1: don't raise the heights of the hedges or because right
Speaker 1: now we have a five foot limit on hedges. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I don't love the shade that the height gives, but
Speaker 1: I do like the coverage from you know, blood sucker
Speaker 1: eyes right right from the blood suckers, you know, m
Speaker 1: m mmmmm. Did you ever name that baby? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: would you like to share? Never found any bones. It
Speaker 1: might be alive somewhere, right, It could have just it
Speaker 1: could have just learned to walk. I don't know. I
Speaker 1: think I think it was a clean slur by one
Speaker 1: of the blood suckers. Oh, you are mostly cartilage at
Speaker 1: that point, right, Remember oysters. Remember when you used to
Speaker 1: get oysters and shooters. You just squeeze the thing on shot,
Speaker 1: just like we all remember oysters. We remember oysters. I'm
Speaker 1: looking for a gluten free donut. Um. Yeah, um, that's
Speaker 1: actually going to be on that table over there. Okay, Andrew,
Speaker 1: where Celia are you getting? Where are you getting on
Speaker 1: these supplies? Just think it's better for my body. But
Speaker 1: I actually have no scientific proof of that at all.
Speaker 1: It's just a mental thing for me. Blood huh, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I would. Sorry. Um, we weren't able to sleep to
Speaker 1: well last night. We never ended up doing the Element
Speaker 1: of Surprise thing. But there's been a baby crying all
Speaker 1: night long, and you're in your little hut car whatever
Speaker 1: we call our hot cars, I call them hot cars. Yeah,
Speaker 1: if you're not gonna eat the baby. It's keeping us up.
Speaker 1: Maybe we can split the baby out here or something. Look,
Speaker 1: I thought about slurping the baby and one solid slurp,
Speaker 1: as it's traditionally done, but I looked in the baby's
Speaker 1: eyes and I just can't do it. Okay, Look somebody,
Speaker 1: somebody had written uh Marty on the on the baby's onesie. Okay,
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't eat something with a name. Well,
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what I honestly, it doesn't sound like
Speaker 1: you you should be the leader anymore because you aren't
Speaker 1: what we call hardest nails, sharpest a razorback. I am
Speaker 1: my votes gonna go for scat blush. I think you're
Speaker 1: probably gonna get eating yourself. Well, me and Marty are
Speaker 1: going to get out of here. Then, hey, maybe we're
Speaker 1: gonna go see how do you two wound up in
Speaker 1: these parts? Don't you know there's an apocalypse on nice motorcycle? Hey? Thanks? Uh?
Speaker 1: What uh? What's the name of this place? Old timer?
Speaker 1: This place right here? Oh, it was called the waffle house,
Speaker 1: but the you fell off now it's called the waffle hose.
Speaker 1: So we figured we'd just stick with it. Would you
Speaker 1: and your little young fella like to come in and
Speaker 1: have some scattered, smothered and covered whatever we can find. Sure.
Speaker 1: Sure this is Marty by the way. Oh hi, ow
Speaker 1: I know it says it on this onesie. Well, come
Speaker 1: on in, come on in. It's not safe to be
Speaker 1: riding a motorcycle around here. You say your eyes are fooling?
Speaker 1: Uh tell me? Can you get human flesh smothered? And
Speaker 1: wait a minute, you're not a human after all. That's right.
Speaker 1: That's my son in the corner. He's got a gun trained.
Speaker 1: He's got a few. Better start spilling the beans about
Speaker 1: how you got all the way out here. Don't have
Speaker 1: any beans? Okay, I don't have any beans. Spillings. We
Speaker 1: want all your beans. No, I'm completely out of money.
Speaker 1: That's all right. This town doesn't use beans, is money? Anyway?
Speaker 1: Nearest town does. That is a good several miles away.
Speaker 1: But everybody knows Sandra runs that town. Cram Pamarty. We
Speaker 1: don't want to hear another story. Everything worked out and
Speaker 1: now it's modern times again. So anyway, I'm a little point.
Speaker 1: You're boring a ship. You think this is boring? I
Speaker 1: told you the story of a goddamn apocalypse. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: like I wasn't seeing anything, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Like I didn't see anything. You just heard a story.
Speaker 1: You just heard a story. You didn't see your story.
Speaker 1: We'll look into this one eye. What do you see there?
Speaker 1: Look into this one eye? Now it's not pus see too.
Speaker 1: Comes to us from Patrick from Canada. How do alchemists? Howdy?
Speaker 1: The way you all can do accents and change your
Speaker 1: tone of voice are truly impressive. Chris got some ship
Speaker 1: in the beginning for not being as good with accents
Speaker 1: he's got, but he's gotten better, and he's certainly not
Speaker 1: bad at accents. I realized that I have not given
Speaker 1: the scene suggestions specifically referencing accents yet, and I hope
Speaker 1: Chris enjoys this one, so of course I had to
Speaker 1: pick it. Suggestion. A bunch of surfer dudes go to
Speaker 1: New York for the first time. I'm much appreciated, Patrick
Speaker 1: from Canada. Surfer dudes got to New York. Oh, Uh,
Speaker 1: do I have to check this surfboarding or can I
Speaker 1: just use it as a carry on? Uh? It's a
Speaker 1: bit too large to put into the overhead bin, so
Speaker 1: you're going to have to check that one. Oh, it's
Speaker 1: just is it gonna am I gonna be charged for
Speaker 1: because I got through security and they didn't say anything.
Speaker 1: So I feel like you're fault. I'm just you specifically,
Speaker 1: but like the airline, right, but when you pointed your finger,
Speaker 1: it really made me feel like it was me specifically
Speaker 1: in really really personal eden. We've got to get this
Speaker 1: guy on the plane. Come on, take care of this gentleman.
Speaker 1: We've got to take off. We've got a fifteen minutes
Speaker 1: late already. Sorry, you're gonna have to check in your
Speaker 1: surfboard if you want to make it to New York
Speaker 1: City where all the best surfing is all right, but
Speaker 1: it's really you got to be super careful with it
Speaker 1: because bro, this is a family heirloom surfboard. It's from
Speaker 1: Like you're at international flights. We always take care of
Speaker 1: all of our all of our passengers, baggage and storage
Speaker 1: and stuff. Don't you worry? Now? Did you ask for meat?
Speaker 1: A chicken? Part of me I got the windows over here?
Speaker 1: Excuse me, dude? Part of me? Okay, Hey, how you doing.
Speaker 1: I'm Jack, I'm the surfer Booty. What's your name, Booty? Oh?
Speaker 1: So you're definitely a surfer? Uh? Page you way back
Speaker 1: international flights before. It's my first time, Dade, my first
Speaker 1: time man, so many weird accents. I'm excited about surfing
Speaker 1: the Hudson. Yeah yeah, I've heard there's some some crazy waves.
Speaker 1: Should be ripping, should be ripping. All right, the tension passengers,
Speaker 1: this is your captain speaking. We are about to fly
Speaker 1: to my hometown of New York City, so we'll get
Speaker 1: you up in the air very soon. And don't worry,
Speaker 1: we'll Once we hit ten thousand feet, I will turn
Speaker 1: off the fast and seatbelt signs. Feel free to move
Speaker 1: about the cabin, then to mingle with whoever you like.
Speaker 1: Jets jets et s jets jets jets very cool. Ten
Speaker 1: thousand Wow, I better. I've served ten thousand waves by
Speaker 1: this point, I don't even know how many waves have served.
Speaker 1: That's probably the better way to go about it. Hey,
Speaker 1: are you gonna get a slice in New right? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm thinking I've heard. It's better. Heard it's better too.
Speaker 1: Excuse me more. You're going to have to put up
Speaker 1: your seat into the complete upright position before we take off.
Speaker 1: If you could do that for me, please, sir, then
Speaker 1: we can carry on. Well, that upright is harsh in
Speaker 1: my vibe, laid back kind of guy's kind of the
Speaker 1: laid back guy. Not surely the reasoning for this, but
Speaker 1: it is uh, it is law and it is um
Speaker 1: that is what we need from you right now. That's
Speaker 1: funny though you're not sure the reasoning, right, because I'm
Speaker 1: not going to lie to you. I'm not sure the reasoning.
Speaker 1: This is my second day as a flight attendant. UM,
Speaker 1: I'm mostly here for these smiles and for my very
Speaker 1: good customers, divers. It is very good. Yeah, I cannot
Speaker 1: bring you many drinks later, but for now, I'm going
Speaker 1: to need you to actually do something for me, and
Speaker 1: that is a to put up your seat into upright paper,
Speaker 1: upright position. Alright, alright, not really, mercy, Mercy. You know, hey,
Speaker 1: where are you staying? Um? The plaza is that in Queens?
Speaker 1: I don't know exactly. I think it's kind of fancy though.
Speaker 1: The World Surfing Competition put me up there. I think they.
Speaker 1: I think they're thinking I'm gonna be a big deal
Speaker 1: after this competition. To be honest, Wait a minute, bro,
Speaker 1: what's your full name? Jack Johnson? Jack Johnson. I've heard
Speaker 1: of you, well, you probably heard of my music and
Speaker 1: I'm kind of like a surfers. I played first play.
Speaker 1: People say I play surfer music, but I actually surf.
Speaker 1: I noticed you weren't wearing shoes, never do. I got
Speaker 1: tar my toes. I love that Curious George soundtrack. Any
Speaker 1: who just tell servers you know what I mean? Refers? Right?
Speaker 1: You see that guy over there with that vintage board. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I wonder what his deal is. There's no way he
Speaker 1: can get barrels on that thing. No, I mean that's like,
Speaker 1: that's like nine fifties ship. Right. It looks like somebody
Speaker 1: that would just get a wet suit, get a board
Speaker 1: and walk into the ocean without any kind of you know,
Speaker 1: like assistance or lessons or something that would like help anybody,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I'm sorry, I can't actually
Speaker 1: put my my seat all the way back because I've
Speaker 1: got a back thing we're got. I can't sit up
Speaker 1: right straight. I gotta be vertical, like kind of horizontal.
Speaker 1: Does that make sense? Unfortunately, we cannot start the flight
Speaker 1: unless you do this for us. So do you want
Speaker 1: to have to beat the art or is everybody's going
Speaker 1: to be delayed and you don't want to see a
Speaker 1: bunch of passengers, very very set. This is my second
Speaker 1: day seat up. Come on, come on, god, this is ridiculous.
Speaker 1: You have been making my trip really harsh. Then won't
Speaker 1: let me take my board on the plane. Now I've
Speaker 1: got to sit up straight. This is ridiculous. I should
Speaker 1: have just taken a regular flight from California to New York. Insider.
Speaker 1: This international bullshit. You can feel free to this blood
Speaker 1: if you want. If you want to get on a
Speaker 1: different flight, you have a fun time. But right now,
Speaker 1: if you're in't here, we've already closed the doors. So
Speaker 1: this is what it is. You have major bed, Now
Speaker 1: you have to sleep in it. Now. I'm not really
Speaker 1: very very good at customer service, and I don't like
Speaker 1: to bring my voice like this, and I don't like
Speaker 1: to make my face like this. So I would like
Speaker 1: to bring it back to a smile and the pleasantries.
Speaker 1: And I can only do that, sir, if you put
Speaker 1: up your seat into the proper upplied position so that
Speaker 1: we can all get on with our day and with
Speaker 1: our flight. Well, these are a flights, am I right?
Speaker 1: I tell you, pal, if if you're flown out of
Speaker 1: LaGuardia or JFK or even knew what this would have
Speaker 1: never happened here. Uh l A X. I'm right. Well, honestly,
Speaker 1: I think L A X isn't the problem. It's this
Speaker 1: international flight. They got all these rules. I don't know.
Speaker 1: It's a it's a California thing, right what. I'm a
Speaker 1: New York native. I'm a New York native. I know,
Speaker 1: I know. Yeah, you probably pegged me right away, right, No,
Speaker 1: I honestly I thought you were maybe from I don't know, Georgia.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'd raise Queens. No, I've never been
Speaker 1: to New York. I just I'm going for the World
Speaker 1: Championship Surfing Contest surfing. Yeah, hey, if it's in New York,
Speaker 1: it's gotta be good. All right. I guess I will
Speaker 1: put my seat up. You kind of inspired me to
Speaker 1: do the right thing, do the right thing, bed stolen movie. Alright,
Speaker 1: ESPN viewers, it is a first here on the network.
Speaker 1: We got the first annual that's an ambitious name for
Speaker 1: an event, the first annual New York City Surf Contest
Speaker 1: right here on the Hudson River. I'm here with my
Speaker 1: co host scratch boards. How we doing their scratch boards?
Speaker 1: It's doing pretty I'm so exciting. To do the surfing now,
Speaker 1: so this is really great. The createst thing about it
Speaker 1: is we don't usually see surfing on the river. That's right,
Speaker 1: scratch boards, but we got three of the best surfers
Speaker 1: in the world here today. Musician Jack Johnson. Not a
Speaker 1: lot of people knew this. He is uh, the barefoot
Speaker 1: wonder of the boards out there on the water. Wherever
Speaker 1: the hell he lives, probably Hawaii would be my guest.
Speaker 1: We also have Body Tree, who is a relative newcomer
Speaker 1: to the sport, but he has, uh he has been
Speaker 1: showing up at a lot of events lately and really
Speaker 1: making sure the crowd stays as zen as possible. And then,
Speaker 1: of course, I mean, we've got the we've got the
Speaker 1: grump of the airlines ever since that DMZ story came
Speaker 1: out last night, is correct me. I know, I can't
Speaker 1: believe a passenger even posted that video, considering some of
Speaker 1: the things that he said, but that doesn't change the
Speaker 1: fact that he is the He is the front runner
Speaker 1: to win the entire Hudson event. So let's go down
Speaker 1: right now, and we've got the competitors, Mike, Let's see
Speaker 1: what they're saying as they prepare. Thanks Joe, Uh, this
Speaker 1: is uh Doris Burke reporting for ESPN here at the
Speaker 1: first Annual Stuff Club. I'm here with Jack Johnson. Jack.
Speaker 1: We know you can sing those sweet sweet tunes. Are
Speaker 1: you gonna make a lullaby out of this wave or what? Oh?
Speaker 1: I see what you did there. I think that's very cool. Um,
Speaker 1: you know you because a lot like surfing. You gotta
Speaker 1: put on a white suit, grab your board, go into
Speaker 1: the water, paddle paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, pop up, go
Speaker 1: down the line and do some cutbacks just like songwriting.
Speaker 1: Sounds exactly like songwriting as someone who knows nothing about either. Now,
Speaker 1: I've also got a body body Tree here with me. Right.
Speaker 1: You were the youngest competitor here. How did you get
Speaker 1: here today? Doris Burke? I'm twelve years old and I'm
Speaker 1: you know, I was I was born raised by the
Speaker 1: Tree family and uh to bang a canyon and uh,
Speaker 1: I've been surfing before I was walking, So you know,
Speaker 1: this is just kind of a natural extension of where
Speaker 1: my life was already headed. What what an incredible story.
Speaker 1: And I saw that your parents flew in today, specifically,
Speaker 1: I know that you came in a little earlier. How
Speaker 1: was that flight by yourself, and did you have somebody
Speaker 1: escorting you to and from, uh, the jetway. I was
Speaker 1: next to my bro Jack Johnson. Wow. Wow, so almost
Speaker 1: like a father figure to you at this point in
Speaker 1: the competition. That's gonna really shake out, interestingly out there
Speaker 1: on the waves. Yeah, it's gonna suck when I beat him. Wow.
Speaker 1: I like that tenacity and I like that fire. Speaking
Speaker 1: of fire and tenacity, we've got the bully of the
Speaker 1: of the actual air here with us. Oh, come on, man,
Speaker 1: that's like not really cool. And that's the image I'm
Speaker 1: trying to make for at the end of the day.
Speaker 1: You recognized yourself in this competition. Are you gonna keep
Speaker 1: that villain title and beat out these very very lovely
Speaker 1: boys and men? First of all, these boys to men,
Speaker 1: I don't think that Jack Johnson's ever surved before. Did
Speaker 1: you hear his description of it and body that kids
Speaker 1: shouldn't even be allowed to compete. There's only three competitors.
Speaker 1: I'm coming in first period. Interesting, you've heard it here.
Speaker 1: First back to you, Joe, thank you so much. Doris
Speaker 1: out there on the sidelines, you know it really at
Speaker 1: the sidelines of the Hudson of course, I mean, uh
Speaker 1: oh yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Here's a here's
Speaker 1: a question. You're an expert surfer, um, and we are
Speaker 1: here on the Hudson River. Do we, in fact, in
Speaker 1: your years of surfing, have you come across the situation
Speaker 1: like this where there are no waves? I gotta be honest,
Speaker 1: every single time I've ever done one of these things
Speaker 1: that hasn't been an Okay, you're you're shaking, your eyes
Speaker 1: are pooling. Oh hold on, I don't feel too good either.
Speaker 1: Oh oh goodness, oh oh wow? Oh okay. Yeah. And
Speaker 1: then uh Scratchboards was patient zero. He was the one
Speaker 1: who started the pandemic. Wow, Grandpa, I want to hear
Speaker 1: any more story and even see a single thing when
Speaker 1: you said that? So poor? It's it's an incredible sorry,
Speaker 1: but but the story of the competition itself is even more.
Speaker 1: Moving on right along to our third scene, the suggestion
Speaker 1: comes to us from listener Garrett. Hey, alchemists, love you guys.
Speaker 1: Here's my scene suggestion, unnecessary cash shows. Thanks Garrett. What
Speaker 1: seems to be wrong with your dinner? That's very funny.
Speaker 1: Where do I start? First of all, the plating, the
Speaker 1: plating was subpar um. Second, of all, the quality of
Speaker 1: the chicken, I'd say not terrific. Uh, what else I
Speaker 1: want to say? What else do I want to say?
Speaker 1: You don't have to go searching for things? Those are
Speaker 1: Those are cashews? M they look like chicken claws. I'm
Speaker 1: sorry that you don't like the shape of cashews. I'm
Speaker 1: not sure what you want an assistant manager to do
Speaker 1: in this situation. You are, indeed the assistant manager. I
Speaker 1: am for now, I am indeed the assistant manager. I
Speaker 1: just want you to make this right. You know what, Um,
Speaker 1: I actually use the restroom. So if no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no no no no, no no no, you're fine. I
Speaker 1: need to use the restroom. So I want you to
Speaker 1: know that I can handle myself. This is our second day,
Speaker 1: by the way. I want you to know if this continues,
Speaker 1: you're in good hands and you've really showcased that. UM,
Speaker 1: thank you so much. So your chef just throws in
Speaker 1: chicken claws into a chicken sandwiches again, sir, the it's
Speaker 1: you ordered cashew chicken. Yeah, those are cashews and that
Speaker 1: is chicken. I don't know what else I can I
Speaker 1: don't know what a man the restroom is. Actually, it's
Speaker 1: just what's you mind? Actually, just um escorting me? I
Speaker 1: sure I can. I can show you where it is.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Okay, help me? Yeah, I know
Speaker 1: I can tell. It's so bad. And you want me
Speaker 1: to call you an uber, Like, let me just say
Speaker 1: that the first quote unquote date was just a long
Speaker 1: conversation on the phone. That's not Ah, that is not
Speaker 1: a date. Like I did not know that. This is
Speaker 1: the way he comports himself in public. And I'm I
Speaker 1: just want like you to know, like I'm embarrassed. I
Speaker 1: needed to get the out of here. This does not
Speaker 1: reflect on you in any way. It's okay, I'm so
Speaker 1: sorry that you're dealing with this obvious monster. Let us
Speaker 1: call you an uber. Um My purse is still at
Speaker 1: the table. Oh, I'll go crawl over dingnong hi. Oh,
Speaker 1: this is the this is where it all happens. Okay,
Speaker 1: this is the kitchen. And who's the chef or the chef?
Speaker 1: I said the quote unquote chef? Can I help you? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Are you the quote unquote chef? I'm doing these things
Speaker 1: on the side like two bunny at the quotations chef,
Speaker 1: I'm the head cook, the chef, you know. Okay, Okay,
Speaker 1: I I present to you exhibit A. Uh you see
Speaker 1: this plate here? Uh huh? What's wrong with that? Would
Speaker 1: you eat this here? Try some here, try some open,
Speaker 1: try something? Hey, stop it? And yeah, I eat I
Speaker 1: eat cash us all the time. Uh huh? You think
Speaker 1: do you have you have a nut allergy? No? I
Speaker 1: have a let's see. Yeah, well what is that? What's
Speaker 1: the definition of allergy? Um? Do you break out in
Speaker 1: hives and have difficulty breathing after eating food? No? So
Speaker 1: I don't have a nut allergy. Perhaps I think that
Speaker 1: they that these particular nuts are unnecessary sir? Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: I mean it is cash you chicken, So I'm looking
Speaker 1: for the essence of cash you. I don't need to
Speaker 1: chew on chicken cloths. Is this the menu you ordered from? Yeah? Um,
Speaker 1: so your your date is paying, I guess because there's
Speaker 1: no prices on this one. Yes, this is our second date.
Speaker 1: So it feels like that's the way it should go.
Speaker 1: As a matter of fact, now that you're bringing her up,
Speaker 1: let me show you. Let me show you an example
Speaker 1: of the type of women I get to date. If
Speaker 1: you just speak right there to this, sorry in order
Speaker 1: order up. By the way, Oh, she seems to be
Speaker 1: got it, grabbing her purse. Give me one another great
Speaker 1: date for the books. Come on, Janice, I mean, what
Speaker 1: is this set up? I think it's the profile that
Speaker 1: you've made. I don't have the same problems that you have. Dated.
Speaker 1: He brought half the kitchen staff into the restroom and
Speaker 1: showed them to show them me pants down. Well it's inappropriate,
Speaker 1: but it sounds like he likes you a lot. He
Speaker 1: just wants to show you off. Isn't it nice to
Speaker 1: feel priced? Janice? I don't mean this as a slight,
Speaker 1: but like you and I are just like little could
Speaker 1: just be careful what you say because time when you
Speaker 1: start saying that something like that or it's usually followed
Speaker 1: by a hurtful thing to understand. So I'll be careful.
Speaker 1: But also maybe you put up your garden a little bit. Okay,
Speaker 1: HiT's up. You and I are like on different I
Speaker 1: wouldn't even say that we're playing on different teams, were
Speaker 1: like in different sports, you know what I mean? Like
Speaker 1: I'm tennis and you're surfing, but like on a wave
Speaker 1: that's not even there. So for me, a guy liking me,
Speaker 1: that's just like not enough. Where like for you that's
Speaker 1: you know, like that's rare. And you've got a lot
Speaker 1: of guys, a lot of guys like me, and I
Speaker 1: like them. Okay, yeah, yeah, it's just like you cling
Speaker 1: to it in a different way. And I give me
Speaker 1: a snumber, give me a number, Let me have one
Speaker 1: date with them? Part of me? You are you a
Speaker 1: server over at chats? Yeah? Yeah, I thought I recognized you. Know,
Speaker 1: I thought I knew I recognized you. Yeah. Yeah, this
Speaker 1: is your Starbucks? You coming here? Also? Yeah? Yeah, just
Speaker 1: waiting on my just waiting on my sufie egg bites. Yeah? Yeah.
Speaker 1: Do you swoop? Do you swoop swooping on people's uh dates?
Speaker 1: Are significant others here too? Or is that just at
Speaker 1: your workplace? Oh? Here we go? This is about the
Speaker 1: Yeah this you know what she asked me. Okay, she
Speaker 1: asked me to get her out of there. Okay, okay.
Speaker 1: And I assume you're now dating and you're have any time? No? Yeah, man,
Speaker 1: First of all, I have a boyfriend, doublet with cash
Speaker 1: you milk? Oh that's me. I'm just waiting on the
Speaker 1: sufie egg bites. Now, um, you have a boyfriend, you
Speaker 1: still steal girlfriends? No, I'm not stealing your What are talking?
Speaker 1: I'm not stealing. She came to men. I saw the connection.
Speaker 1: I felt it. Our connection was based on a mutual
Speaker 1: dislike of you. Bro. Those are my egg bites. I
Speaker 1: gotta go. Wow, yeah, I want to. Here's what you
Speaker 1: should do, man, seriously, stand here in this Starbucks and
Speaker 1: think about your choices until they call your name. Well,
Speaker 1: I will part of me, sir, excuse me, sir? Are
Speaker 1: you waiting? I just got my world rocked. You've ever
Speaker 1: been here in the face with the truth? Um why
Speaker 1: I guess metaphorically? Well, I guess he didn't hit me.
Speaker 1: Just well, I gotta sit down. I gotta sit down. Okay, No,
Speaker 1: I'm not, I'm not. You don't remember me, do you?
Speaker 1: You came into my kitchen last week and confronted me
Speaker 1: about your cash, your chicken. Oh gay ye. This day
Speaker 1: just keeps on getting better. That was kind of the
Speaker 1: last straw for me. I I quit as a as
Speaker 1: head cook. What I quit as head cook? It was
Speaker 1: sick of assholes like you. I'm learning a lot about
Speaker 1: myself today. Friend, got an order for asshole. I think
Speaker 1: that's me. Here you go, man, Oh that that might
Speaker 1: that might be me. Oh, who's my name? Is a shoal?
Speaker 1: They they sell Okay, I'm projecting. I guess I'm just projecting. Sorry, sorry, sorry,
Speaker 1: Here you go. I'm a shoal. I'm a shoal. This
Speaker 1: one's you, yes, no, the other guy, this one's you. Yeah.
Speaker 1: It all likes coffee. That's you. Yeah, that's that's okay.
Speaker 1: Here you go, asshole. Um yeah, so um, I really
Speaker 1: like like arts and crafts like that's a really big Hi.
Speaker 1: I found you. Sorry to interrupt. Hi, I'm on a
Speaker 1: date right now. Excuse me. Hi. Yeah, I don't know you.
Speaker 1: Your name sir Jerry, Hi, Jerry. Listen. I okay, I've
Speaker 1: been thinking about you, and I know you don't want
Speaker 1: to see me anymore. Sorry, not you, Jerry. You. Um,
Speaker 1: I just I had a big things have changed, my god.
Speaker 1: Please stop I had I had stop thinking about you.
Speaker 1: Please please. I am so sorry. I am not a
Speaker 1: home wrecker. I will no no, no, no, no, no state.
Speaker 1: I don't want to wreck this. Goodbye, Thank you, thank you? Hi?
Speaker 1: Are you for real? I'm better than for real? What's
Speaker 1: what's better than reality? I'm a dream. I'm a dream.
Speaker 1: You're a nightmare. That's not true. That's not true. I
Speaker 1: learned a lot about myself. Watch watch, I'll order something.
Speaker 1: Excuse me, excuse me? You guys need another? Oh? No, hi, hi,
Speaker 1: watch this, just watch this. You don't remember me? Do
Speaker 1: you? You You don't remember me? God? Remember I got a
Speaker 1: job waiting tables here because I peeped at me in
Speaker 1: the in the restroom with you. Do you feel this?
Speaker 1: Something's changed? Right? You're I just I'm like not, I'm
Speaker 1: just like not interested. I just I had to put
Speaker 1: myself worth. But I like you. Isn't that enough? No?
Speaker 1: Not for me, not for me? Sy I think you
Speaker 1: should leave the lady alone. Wow, I like that. I
Speaker 1: like that a lot. Thank you? Shal was it? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I'm a shal He's asked. I'm an asshole? Ain't that
Speaker 1: the truth? Sorry? I ruined your night? Sorry I ruined everything?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Somatic, I'm not gonna take I ruined
Speaker 1: your meal. I'm I'm I'm broken here, I'm right here
Speaker 1: before you. Broken. I'm I'm I'm a pooling eyeball of nothing. Huh.
Speaker 1: Stupid me. Stupid me for thinking I gonna have a
Speaker 1: chance with someone like you. Stupid me for thinking I
Speaker 1: could grow with someone like you stupid. I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: I'm s sorry. I was kind of hovering because I
Speaker 1: had called the Uber and start here. Yet it doesn't
Speaker 1: seem like it's working out. Do you mind if we
Speaker 1: continue continue our date? Please? Okay? Al right? It just
Speaker 1: cost five bucks? Oh my gosh. Wow. So anyways, Um, yeah,
Speaker 1: I liked arts and crafts. You were talking about yourself.
Speaker 1: That was like, that's just what I have to do
Speaker 1: on my free time mostly, babe. But that you were
Speaker 1: driving tonight, that you were ubering driving uber tonight. Oh no,
Speaker 1: did someone cancel on you again? Yeah? I got canceled on. Hey,
Speaker 1: don't personally, I don't want to talk about it, baby,
Speaker 1: don't don't want to talk about it. I do take
Speaker 1: it personally. I think that they see my picture and
Speaker 1: then they go, I'm not good in a that guy's car?
Speaker 1: Are you kidding me? I mean, look look at look
Speaker 1: at this face. It's not would you get it? Don't
Speaker 1: just be nice. Look I'm the type of guy who look,
Speaker 1: I fell in love with you because you liked me,
Speaker 1: and I thought that was the maximum that I could
Speaker 1: get because look at this face. I think you were
Speaker 1: right on with that. Wait what I think you made
Speaker 1: the right decision. You think I was. Hold on, you
Speaker 1: think I was. I'm supposed to say terrible things about
Speaker 1: myself and you're not supposed to agree with me. This
Speaker 1: is you know what I get. I'm getting out of here.
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna help you. I don't want to call
Speaker 1: a new but I'm gonna cover for a minute. Way
Speaker 1: to get I'm gonna order take out? All right, Well,
Speaker 1: just do it on my app already, have Uber open,
Speaker 1: Just do Uber eats. Get me un I'm calling. I'm
Speaker 1: calling calling chow Chow. Hi is this chow Chow? Yeah?
Speaker 1: This is a shoal Hi. I like to be back.
Speaker 1: Place an order? Please? I recognize your voice. Tell me,
Speaker 1: tell me you're not the same guy. Oh I'm a woman. Okay, great?
Speaker 1: Yeah great, yeah yeah yeah yeah. Can I get some
Speaker 1: cash you chicken? Please? That's weird. I'm so disoriented because
Speaker 1: I I just got bit scratch boards. The surfing commentator.
Speaker 1: He came to the restaurant. He bit me, sorry, let
Speaker 1: me take the phone. Let me take that. Hi, this
Speaker 1: is chow Chow. Can I get your order? No? I
Speaker 1: think should help us you. Uh, don't worry. We're gonna
Speaker 1: fire him. Again, just but we'll take your order. What
Speaker 1: would you? Oh my gosh, what what a time? What
Speaker 1: a time? I know it's a good scene. When my
Speaker 1: nose starts running, my ice start watering, that's that's the mark.
Speaker 1: Your pupil start pooling, they start pulling. That was beautiful, James, Bobble,
Speaker 1: I say, poetry pulling pupils, Purple pulling pupils. James, what's
Speaker 1: going on with you? Man? Where can people find you?
Speaker 1: What are you up to these days? Besides lapping on
Speaker 1: a major motion picture? Well, um, let's see. I guess, uh,
Speaker 1: the usual game front. It's too short of notice. But
Speaker 1: this weekend I'll be playing as Ron Burgundy in the
Speaker 1: rock and Roll Marathon in San Diego. Um, I'm their
Speaker 1: go to guy to play anchorman in the rock and
Speaker 1: roll marathons. Uh, so I just do a little announcing
Speaker 1: in the racetrack. So I guess next San Diego rock
Speaker 1: and Roll Marathon. Check it out. That is why the
Speaker 1: whole thing and everything. They bought me a suit that
Speaker 1: the only weird thing is and I personally don't like it.
Speaker 1: They want me to wear a wig, so I can't
Speaker 1: just have my hair. I have to wear a wig
Speaker 1: to do it it is, I can talk about it
Speaker 1: for a while, but yeah, I know. But they had
Speaker 1: the pictures of both and they chose the wig. Okay,
Speaker 1: Craig Akoski, what's going on? Man? What's what's up? What's new? What? What? What?
Speaker 1: What are you? What are you doing? Boy? Man? Not
Speaker 1: too much? UM should be uh guy co commercial coming
Speaker 1: out may or maybe not. Maybe they'll just sit on
Speaker 1: it for a while. Um. But yeah, I wish I
Speaker 1: had more concrete. Um, but that's not how I heard.
Speaker 1: I heard from a friend that you're actually really great
Speaker 1: in um sex Lines of College Girls. Well that's very kind,
Speaker 1: so I'll plug that on your behalf. Many people have
Speaker 1: said the Kimberly's dad is the breakout star of season
Speaker 1: one of of sex Lines of College Girls. But it's
Speaker 1: a terrific show, even though my part is relatively small.
Speaker 1: But it really is a great entertaining show. Proud to
Speaker 1: have been a part of it. Okay, Jackie, Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: hello that I'm at Jackie to Ruthie on Instagram and
Speaker 1: listen is my account? I teased it perhaps becoming a
Speaker 1: dance account. Unfortunately, the Heat did not make it to
Speaker 1: the finals, so it is not a dance account. Um,
Speaker 1: but I do have something in the cooker. Some fun
Speaker 1: bits couldn't be coming out, um, so I think it's
Speaker 1: I think it's wise to follow now so that you're
Speaker 1: prepared and you're ready for the for the fun. Well,
Speaker 1: i'd say start following now so the algorithm knows that
Speaker 1: you like like Jackie, thererothy content, so it's featured on
Speaker 1: your page and stuff right right right, right, right right good.
Speaker 1: I'm excited. It's an old bit many years old, two
Speaker 1: years old, um, that I mixed that I'm expanding upon.
Speaker 1: Once upon a time I did a bit as an
Speaker 1: entire dance squad, and I will be giving each dancer
Speaker 1: it's their moment. I remember the bit each day. It's
Speaker 1: just gonna have their time to shine, um, two years later.
Speaker 1: So I'm excited. So I'm excited. That's all I can say.
Speaker 1: It's she's playing an entire dance squad everybody, and we'll
Speaker 1: leave it there. That's that's I think. It takes up
Speaker 1: multiple people to be a squad. I believe more than Craig,
Speaker 1: more than two got to be a squad, right, you
Speaker 1: gotta have it? What three? Four? What makes it? I
Speaker 1: think you need four first Squad four, first que four,
Speaker 1: first quad. Okay, all right, all right, Mark, what's up dude?
Speaker 1: That still makes it? I cringe laugh at that every time.
Speaker 1: I love it, hate it, love it so much. Bad
Speaker 1: it's bad. What are you up to? What can we
Speaker 1: see you with? What's popping? Uh? We got an air date.
Speaker 1: Blood and Treasure Season two comes out July, so look
Speaker 1: for that. We're very excited to finally have that coming
Speaker 1: out to see the world. Um. Also we got this
Speaker 1: with Mark and Howe on the Maximum Fun Network. New
Speaker 1: shows dropping weekly. Uh and um some podcast guest appearances
Speaker 1: coming up that are going to be fun and exciting. Okay,
Speaker 1: and uh yeah, and um doing Shakespeare in Pasadena. If
Speaker 1: you're in Pasadena on the second, uh second Thursday of
Speaker 1: the month, what you will at a Lineage Performing Arts Center.
Speaker 1: And I'm at Mark gags on all this stuff. I
Speaker 1: want to see that, Okay at and you know what,
Speaker 1: you know what when we're talking about stuff, I got
Speaker 1: a little I got a little role. I got a
Speaker 1: little role in Hacks and Hacks and like it's small.
Speaker 1: I just talked to one of the one of the
Speaker 1: creators the other day at a party. She was like, hey,
Speaker 1: mentioned me to mentioned my little my little thing, that
Speaker 1: it went well. Ell, so that's nice, that's nice. I
Speaker 1: don't know if acting is for me to be honest,
Speaker 1: but in the meantime we got that going on. Thank
Speaker 1: you everybody for playing, thanks for being my friend. And
Speaker 1: let's thank our engineer and produced to the stars Mr
Speaker 1: Doug Bany and mine folks, and I heart media. I
Speaker 1: am your host Chris Ovardo, and I thank you for
Speaker 1: listening and until next time,