Speaker 1: Talk, Talk Talk. We're just two unapologetically black women with
Speaker 1: an opinion to talk. What's up, y'all? We back? Thank
Speaker 1: you for tuning in for a new episode that We
Speaker 1: Talk Back, a show dedicated to you dreamers and chasers.
Speaker 1: It's your co hosts a j holiday. What's up fake
Speaker 1: tap and every fake TAPU and everybody in between. I
Speaker 1: love y'all, man, I love y'all. I'm hungover right now.
Speaker 1: It was just my birth, just like an ongoing thing
Speaker 1: for you though, like girl, No, hey, y'all noticing a
Speaker 1: pattern anybody. I don't be hungover every Monday. Just intervention, monch,
Speaker 1: It's Tuesday. So now y'all sit as a d M
Speaker 1: or at us on something. Let us know if Tam
Speaker 1: be fucking drunk every time? Y'all hear you? If you say,
Speaker 1: I do you a mother? Lie? So I have one
Speaker 1: maybe two drinks? So what I'm alcoholic now? The whole
Speaker 1: world of Ash Traded Eddie Caine, Yo, how the hell
Speaker 1: you be remembering these goddamn movies like that? I don't okay,
Speaker 1: I gotta be watching it. I'd be like, oh, that's
Speaker 1: my favorite part. I love them. I love them. You know.
Speaker 1: I'm a movie buff. How was your weekend, No, bitch,
Speaker 1: how was your weekend? Telling it was my birthday? I
Speaker 1: hate you missed it, but I understand going to see
Speaker 1: your a ninety five year old aunt y'all. Yes, honey,
Speaker 1: but I had so much fun. I love. I want
Speaker 1: to be a birthday. I want to be a birthday.
Speaker 1: Birthdays everybody just love it on you and giving you
Speaker 1: shit and poor liquor down your throat, eat your koochie,
Speaker 1: all kind of things you know I got. I'm in
Speaker 1: a forday, I got so many roses in my apartments.
Speaker 1: I live in a forest right now, so it's just
Speaker 1: cake and shit over here and balloons everywhere. Don't eat it.
Speaker 1: I hate girl, This cake so good. I got two
Speaker 1: cakes and both of them are delicious.
Speaker 2: But I'm gonna send them to my friends school tomorrow
Speaker 2: because my friend baby school. Let me say that, because
Speaker 2: I can't eat no more. My double chin is doubling
Speaker 2: like a motherfucker right now.
Speaker 1: But it's okay. You've been seeing them a little chin straps
Speaker 1: on Instagram. Getting one. It don't work. I don't know.
Speaker 1: That'shits so uncomfortable. I'll be taking that neck brace off
Speaker 1: the ship. Women go through dog I know, I put
Speaker 1: that ship on. My mama call me. She's like, what
Speaker 1: wrong with you? Why are you sound like that? I
Speaker 1: was like, what are you talking about? I'm fine, barely
Speaker 1: could move your motherfucking mouth. And then shit, shave goodness?
Speaker 1: What about shadd shame? How was Florida Joe? We went
Speaker 1: to Jacksonville. My aunt actually lives right by the beach.
Speaker 1: She is ninety five, so living by herself, walking around.
Speaker 1: I had just seen her recently at my uncle's funeral
Speaker 1: a couple weeks ago. I was like, man, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: come see you. So we orchestrated that and went down
Speaker 1: there and hung up with her. So now I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go back because she has all the family pitches. I
Speaker 1: need to collect all that shit because she is ninety five,
Speaker 1: and I feel like I'm slick the family historian. I
Speaker 1: got my older cousin who is too, But we need
Speaker 1: to hold on to those things like family is fucking important.
Speaker 1: I feel like we be forgetting our heritage where we
Speaker 1: come from. You gotta get with the elders and see
Speaker 1: what is photo albums are of the past, you know exactly. So, yeah,
Speaker 1: she got all these old ass pitches everybody obituary like
Speaker 1: we could put a whole puzzle piece together. Her house
Speaker 1: is like a damn museum a ship, yiad that of
Speaker 1: course the government down there trying to take her house
Speaker 1: because it's right on the right by the beach hard
Speaker 1: Rock Cafe where her house is and some shit like that.
Speaker 1: That's what they're doing. You've seen that old lady in
Speaker 1: Hilton Head. They're trying to take her family property. Is
Speaker 1: supposed to be helping her keep her ship. That's good man,
Speaker 1: because you know like Gallagalla Island. So y'all, y'all remember
Speaker 1: the cartoon Gallagalla Island that's based off of the Fusky
Speaker 1: Island right outside of Charleston, South Carolina. And these people
Speaker 1: have inhibited this area for ever. Yeah, right, so now
Speaker 1: they have increased a lot of people's taxes three hundred
Speaker 1: plus percent to acquire their property. That's stealing. Like I said,
Speaker 1: how like, how do we sue the counties? Right right?
Speaker 1: That's American as apple pie. That's ship right there, boy, stealing, stealing?
Speaker 1: Can I take your ship and make it legal eminent domain?
Speaker 1: That type of shit need to get They need to
Speaker 1: get rid of that type of stuff. You can just oh,
Speaker 1: we need to put a highway. We need to put
Speaker 1: a highway through this bitch. We just take y'all proper right.
Speaker 2: So why did the government Why I can't imminent domain somebody? Shit,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go imminent domain a car out this motherfucker
Speaker 2: and say, shit, the United.
Speaker 1: States do it all the time. I discovered it, right,
Speaker 1: it's mine. It was just sitting here by itself. We needed.
Speaker 1: No one was claiming it. We needed it. So now
Speaker 1: they got they got squatters long like squatter's rule. So
Speaker 1: like say, for instance, you're going to moving on somebody's
Speaker 1: land or somebody's house and you've been there for ten years,
Speaker 1: it's your shit, right, even if they was paying taxes
Speaker 1: on it, it's still your shit. This shit is wicked shit, Wow,
Speaker 1: American listen, then the next ten years, I want to
Speaker 1: be out of America. Like I had actually commented on
Speaker 1: Rihanna's page the other day, I was like, girl, you
Speaker 1: don't know know, uh, single Baysians, I'm trying to get citizenship.
Speaker 1: I swear to God, like you know, she's from Barbados,
Speaker 1: And I heard it was real hard. They don't just
Speaker 1: be given citizenship to anybody but like that is a
Speaker 1: goal in life for me. Like I want me a
Speaker 1: beach house with a little boy, dark skinned, with blonde hair,
Speaker 1: and my motherfucking husband on the beach in Barbados. Like
Speaker 1: that's goals for me. I think I could do it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: why not?
Speaker 2: I don't know about the blonde hair, but everything else
Speaker 2: is very achievable. I mean even the blond hair if
Speaker 2: you want to do a little bleach on your baby.
Speaker 1: But I don't think that's a good idea. But you know,
Speaker 1: the ocean turns people here blonde. And like this this
Speaker 1: guy I have right now, he has some really nice
Speaker 1: brown hair. I think we could possibly produce it. I
Speaker 1: don't know you will alot with that. Let's get into
Speaker 1: stupid internet news, y'all. Listen, we got a few things
Speaker 1: going on this week. What are we not going to
Speaker 1: really talk about? Is uh that Carrie Russell shit. I
Speaker 1: want to see how that unfolds before we completely Yeah,
Speaker 1: wis enlist or Baptist. But I'm glad she's home. But y'all, yeah, man,
Speaker 1: so sexy Radit is catching some backlash for going to
Speaker 1: high school. For going to a high school, she was there, Okay,
Speaker 1: to give our free haircuts and bundles to the students
Speaker 1: for promp because she says she says she remembered what
Speaker 1: it felt like, you know, not having and wanting those
Speaker 1: things when she was in high school. But she came
Speaker 1: in crunk into the gymnasium and it sounded like they
Speaker 1: might have been playing, uh, what's the song with Booty
Speaker 1: Whole Brown? But she wasn't performing. I didn't Them kids
Speaker 1: don't know that song. They know that song exactly, and
Speaker 1: it's not her responsibility for them not to know it. Okay,
Speaker 1: if y'all want her to, she's not the parent. But
Speaker 1: what I'm trying to figure out?
Speaker 2: What's Saint Louis School got a prom in the motherfucking
Speaker 2: middle of July.
Speaker 1: I'm confused. Maybe it's for it, maybe it was just
Speaker 1: maybe it just resurfaced. I don't know. I don't think
Speaker 1: it was recent. It may have just resurfaced. Yeah, well yeah,
Speaker 1: so them kids need hair, they need bundles. So absolutely, absolutely,
Speaker 1: as long as she ain't and performing that song give
Speaker 1: back ship. If I signed up got that permission, ship slipped.
Speaker 1: I wish my kid might be in the gymnasium with
Speaker 1: them performing that bullshit. I wish I might. I'm feeling
Speaker 1: a little uneasy, Like, okay, there's a little bit. I
Speaker 1: think somebody said it was Keilani's baby, but she like
Speaker 1: like the little video. She was like, wait, look a
Speaker 1: fud the hoochie daddy. She do her little face like that.
Speaker 1: Like I like that part because of that little video
Speaker 1: and his baby singing it. But like the whole song
Speaker 1: itself that they we talked about this like the lyrics,
Speaker 1: she ain't really saying shit. Here's the thing.
Speaker 2: The lyrics that we are allowing our kids to listen
Speaker 2: to right now makes me scared to be an elderly person.
Speaker 1: When I get old.
Speaker 2: These are the people that's gonna be running the country
Speaker 2: and taking care of us.
Speaker 1: I'll be pretty sure our parents thought the same about
Speaker 1: us because a lot of our generation, our generation, we're
Speaker 1: gonna be in church. Well, y'all gonna be in church
Speaker 1: with six inches. Well, your back gonna be bad from
Speaker 1: the heels, and you're gonna have sexy tattooed on your neck,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, With your gloves on and
Speaker 1: shit like that's how we gonna look tatted up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but here's the thing, they'll be growing up with a
Speaker 1: booty hole tattooed on their side of their nick because
Speaker 1: shut up. That grew up too. Yeah, I mean we
Speaker 1: had music. Sukiana was in London. Did you see that video?
Speaker 1: Sukiana went to London and she was like outside talking
Speaker 1: about eating a nigga ass in the middle of the afternoon,
Speaker 1: walking down the street, embarrassing me. I was embarrassed me too.
Speaker 1: I did have second I saw that video and I
Speaker 1: did have secondhand embarrassment for sure. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I think she's just liked to stay trending. I think
Speaker 2: she just I don't think this is really who she is.
Speaker 2: I think she just, you know, keeps doing things to
Speaker 2: stay trending or something.
Speaker 1: Because but I just saw a video with her going
Speaker 1: hand because you know, her and Tasha k Hathen going
Speaker 1: at it, and she was saying like, y'all think y'all
Speaker 1: hurting me, calling me disgusting. I know, I'm disgusting, Like what,
Speaker 1: like this is this is actually who she is? I
Speaker 1: think we just have to accept the fact that we
Speaker 1: are seeing who she is. I am. Now, she could
Speaker 1: be a different person on a different day and different situations,
Speaker 1: but this is definitely a part of her personality, that's
Speaker 1: what she is. Well, I just want to say, and
Speaker 1: this might sound very unto your me and I don't care.
Speaker 1: Y'all better stop eating each other. Ass that's where duty
Speaker 1: come from. Dodo, you're gonna.
Speaker 2: Lick that why it's so many other healthier places on
Speaker 2: the body to lick. I'm just saying that when you
Speaker 2: bitch just in the hospital with Ekoli, just go ahead
Speaker 2: and play Sukiana over the.
Speaker 1: What Rika Badu said, Erica Badu said, I need a
Speaker 1: rim job? Yeah, dukie Duca. Is that what she's saying.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think so what a rim job? Yeah,
Speaker 1: but just don't be the eater. At least let it
Speaker 1: be a clean one. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I feel like after two steps from the shower, your
Speaker 2: booty hole is again a booty hole.
Speaker 1: Hit the air foot steps, it's back being an asshole. Babies,
Speaker 1: you're gonna have to live that thing in the water
Speaker 1: under the shower. Can't rip it out the plastics. It
Speaker 1: ain't no ripping it out the plastics. They hit their oxygen.
Speaker 1: Back to being the asshole. Okay. So speaking of the music,
Speaker 1: me just add this on so fabulous fabulous receipt has
Speaker 1: been receiving like mixed mixed reactions after claiming there's only
Speaker 1: one style of female rap slash hip hop being promoted.
Speaker 1: So he tweeted, actually it was an Instagram post. He said,
Speaker 1: love hearing female rappers take us talk us some real shit.
Speaker 1: Women are so strong, have so many stories and perspectives
Speaker 1: that we need to hear in pure form. No disrespect
Speaker 1: to any female rappers out but I think there's only
Speaker 1: one style of female rap slash hip hop being promoted
Speaker 1: programmed and looked that as successful. Now it's true, true,
Speaker 1: but he's getting backlash from some people about it. And
Speaker 1: I liked how he Yeah, I like how he tried
Speaker 1: to prime it up and was really like nice. I
Speaker 1: felt I received it too, because I think we're all
Speaker 1: still in the same age group with him as well
Speaker 1: kind of so I feel the same way, like there
Speaker 1: are different type of rappers out here, but it does
Speaker 1: seem to like, right, there's a certain thing being promoted.
Speaker 2: Absolutely so we got you know, sexy Red, which I'm
Speaker 2: proud of any accomplishment, any black woman that's getting money,
Speaker 2: I'm here for it. But you don't get to hear
Speaker 2: Lady London. You don't get to hear Chica. You don't
Speaker 2: get to hear a lot of these artists that don't yeah,
Speaker 2: that don't get use sex. They're not blowing up, they're
Speaker 2: not being promoted. So I agree with him.
Speaker 1: So now they have this all sample sized to show
Speaker 1: the rest of the world, Oh, this is black women,
Speaker 1: and it's just not true. We are very much so multifaceted.
Speaker 1: We come in all shape, size, of color, sexuality, We
Speaker 1: don't all do the same shit. But if this is
Speaker 1: all they see and then you got Sukihna over in Europe, Lord,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, They're only seeing this one
Speaker 1: type of person. So it's almost like I want us
Speaker 1: to be presented like when they see us, like it's
Speaker 1: just rich bitch energy, like rich bitch, grown woman energy, right,
Speaker 1: not like ratchet energy, which we're always displayed as. So
Speaker 1: they can get a different perspective of who we are
Speaker 1: because going there, we're showing them exactly we are also
Speaker 1: other things and that just needs to be displayed on
Speaker 1: But do we support those artists the same way? We
Speaker 1: have to, you know, take some accountability for that, Like
Speaker 1: do we want a rhapsody song? Like do we want
Speaker 1: a cheek a song. You know, are we going? Are
Speaker 1: we gonna go in the club and dance to a
Speaker 1: Rhapsody song? Talk about self? I really we don't. We
Speaker 1: don't like that shit. It's not that we don't like it. Again,
Speaker 1: this is what's promoted. Is what's being promoted right now.
Speaker 1: Me personally, my music selection isn't even rap like that,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. I like R and B.
Speaker 1: I like old school. I like nineties R and B.
Speaker 1: I like old school, old school, old school Isley Brothers
Speaker 1: type shit. And I really the only time I listen
Speaker 1: to rap is if it comes on in a bar, club,
Speaker 1: get crownk with your friends, or at the gym. Yeah, Like,
Speaker 1: I don't just be listening to rap. And no, I'm
Speaker 1: still not listening to Rhapsody at the gym. No, I'm
Speaker 1: a whole I need to beat. It's the beats for me,
Speaker 1: not really the lyrics. It's like how that beat goes
Speaker 1: so I can get my momentum going to That's it.
Speaker 2: I literally be in the bathroom rapping in the mirror
Speaker 2: with my guns.
Speaker 1: So I don't know, it just makes me feel so gangster.
Speaker 1: I would never hurt anybody though. Now you're adding a,
Speaker 1: you are so gangster? Did that? Girl? You hear this, bitch?
Speaker 1: I think all I've never done that.
Speaker 2: I've never been in the mirror with my gun. I'll
Speaker 2: be with my fingers finger guns.
Speaker 1: Oh absolutely, I'm spraying the whole building. Bitch. Everybody, you
Speaker 1: better move ship, you better watch out. The finger guns
Speaker 1: get active. Let's be clear, Yes, but y'all, all our
Speaker 1: topics are kind of Intertwina day, I was gonna move
Speaker 1: on to Kiki right quick. All right? So, okay, so
Speaker 1: we all know what Kiki has has going on with
Speaker 1: the baby daddy and usher study girl. Right. So, recently,
Speaker 1: the actress performed at the Brocoln City Festival. Where's that DC? Right?
Speaker 1: So a shit? She was performing a song right, so
Speaker 1: she went in. She added some extra lyrics, little booties matter,
Speaker 1: My son gave me some mass I'm my own boss
Speaker 1: and I got my own cash. I don't need a nigga.
Speaker 1: I don't need a nigga. Only thing I need is
Speaker 1: a bag. That's this is what she raps on stage.
Speaker 1: Her outfit was looking like blah blah blah. I feel
Speaker 1: it's giving social engineering at this point. The minute I
Speaker 1: saw it, I didn't like it. I didn't want that
Speaker 1: to this to be the narrative, but you know, this
Speaker 1: should happened all the time. So she was like, I'm
Speaker 1: bougie and hood Kiki. You are not hood Kiki. You
Speaker 1: are from Nickelodeon. Come on, so what are we now?
Speaker 1: What are we using Kiki the Internet sweetheart to spread
Speaker 1: to the world about black women. We need our men,
Speaker 1: like this show in particular. For sure. We don't never
Speaker 1: be on a hate niggas train, you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: Because we want men in our lives. We talked about them,
Speaker 1: I mean, but we love equally. We talked about women too,
Speaker 1: like yeah, I wanted them to fix it instead of
Speaker 1: you know, keep moving on. Yeah, because this right because
Speaker 1: here now is another thing for the men write in
Speaker 1: certain type of community communities right to say, well, look
Speaker 1: see see, how y'all do us fuck these niggas. I
Speaker 1: just need We don't need a man, We just need
Speaker 1: a bag single promoting single parent hoodhism. Like that's not
Speaker 1: the goal, man, that's not the goal. And I feel
Speaker 1: like she's being used. I feel like I don't I
Speaker 1: don't think this is happenstance. Y'all know how I feel.
Speaker 1: Y'all side spread misinformation. But I want you to go
Speaker 1: check out the Tavistock Institute. Okay, just go google it,
Speaker 1: read about it, and see how black communities have been
Speaker 1: being programmed since the early nineteen hundreds. Just go check
Speaker 1: it out. This shit is fucking real. What's happening. It's
Speaker 1: social engineering. And being an independent woman was the dumbest
Speaker 1: shit I ever bought. I never be on that type
Speaker 1: of type of job.
Speaker 2: Listen, when I was young, like when I was in college,
Speaker 2: I was like, yes, I'm gonna be an independent woman.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do everything for myself. Now I'm sitting here like, man, shit,
Speaker 1: somebody get in here with me. The shit they're calling
Speaker 1: me gonna force somebody in there with you. Well, I
Speaker 1: can't wait. Just don't let it be a nigga, a
Speaker 1: little homeless. When if somewhere that kind girl, you gotta
Speaker 1: be inviting man day the energy were trying to put
Speaker 1: out there, not in twenty twenty three and beyond. That's
Speaker 1: not the rhetoric I want to see black women pushing.
Speaker 1: I've never said I don't need a man ever a
Speaker 1: day of my fucking life. I've never said I'm a
Speaker 1: strong black woman. I'm not a self proclaimed strong black woman. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's be clear and we talk back though. That's the
Speaker 1: only thing we're gonna do. I think a lot of
Speaker 1: times people just don't want to hear. Sometimes when people
Speaker 1: are not ready to take accountability, right, the truth can
Speaker 1: sound like an attack. A lot of times black men
Speaker 1: they say black women don't take accountability. Y'all don't have
Speaker 1: a problem with that shit too. Like for the most part, Yeah,
Speaker 1: so when we're voicing our opinions about stuff, because I
Speaker 1: think even when we tell people what the show name is,
Speaker 1: we're still not those black women that y'all think, right, Okay,
Speaker 1: we love our black men, We love and support y'all.
Speaker 1: Y'all be fucked up, we be fucked up, but we
Speaker 1: still love you, baby, exactly like I. I don't like.
Speaker 1: I don't like what they doing with Kiki. I don't
Speaker 1: like her new transition that like I was rooted for
Speaker 1: her last week at the Baby Daddy thing, like trying
Speaker 1: to when she trying to play when she was like
Speaker 1: my mother and she's saying, Stevie, wonder.
Speaker 2: I leave it right there, because yeah, I can fix
Speaker 2: this and be a family.
Speaker 1: I don't I don't like this because I mean, there
Speaker 1: was things that happened in the nineteen hundreds that pushed
Speaker 1: black men out the home. A lot of them were
Speaker 1: leaving on their own. We're not going to just put
Speaker 1: all of it on the government or on black women.
Speaker 1: Those systems were put in place because black men were
Speaker 1: leaving their homes, let's be clear. And I think a
Speaker 1: lot of times men leave the home when they just
Speaker 1: can't figure out how to provide with all these things
Speaker 1: stacking up against them. They can't get a job, they
Speaker 1: can't take care of their family. So it's easier to
Speaker 1: not see your family struggle than to actually be there
Speaker 1: and try to whether they're storing with them, and a
Speaker 1: lot of them run like this is cowardism, that's all
Speaker 1: it is, right, But I don't. I don't think black
Speaker 1: women should ever and the internet nobody. I've seen some
Speaker 1: people see it the way we're talking about it, like
Speaker 1: this is a problem, right, But then you have a
Speaker 1: lot of people like yeah, girl, because fuck these and
Speaker 1: be the main ones crying by your damn self at night. Bitch, Okay,
Speaker 1: how can you pillow me her body? Jesus shut up right?
Speaker 1: Oh my insert story, don't trust no nigga and then
Speaker 1: be crying as soon as the story stops. Shut up, man,
Speaker 1: just such a damn actress. Cut it out while curving everybody. Okay, everybody,
Speaker 1: I'll be trying with the I'll be trying with these
Speaker 1: black men. You'll be trying with the wrong people. Get
Speaker 1: you a regular nigga and stop playing with these niggas
Speaker 1: who think they the bitch. To think they're the bad bitch.
Speaker 1: Like they're literally looking in your marror what you standing
Speaker 1: next to them, and they probably think they're cuted than
Speaker 1: you too. Ain't no way these ugly hey, girl, may
Speaker 1: be making nigga money, be making these niggas hallucinated. Let's
Speaker 1: be cleaire. Rick Ross was out here calling Tony Braxton
Speaker 1: old nigga. That's your age group, that's your generation. What
Speaker 1: are you talking about, nigga? We see you dive in
Speaker 1: that pool. You old too, Hey, you Melton, Let's be clear, niga,
Speaker 1: you lay an ice cream cone in this hot ass weather.
Speaker 1: Tootsie Row. I love Rick Ross. I love Rick Ross,
Speaker 1: but let's money be giving these niggas audacity, a lot
Speaker 1: of audacity. Like this week we're talking about dating with intention, y'all,
Speaker 1: what is it? What is that exactly? What does it
Speaker 1: mean to date with intention? How does that look? What's
Speaker 1: some pointers on dating with intention? Can you date multiple
Speaker 1: people with an intention? Because when you are dating, you know,
Speaker 1: you might want to date a few people to see
Speaker 1: what's what.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're trying to bring the Black family back together,
Speaker 2: so y'all, yeah, man.
Speaker 1: We got to get them relationships together. Man, that's a religion, relationships,
Speaker 1: relationships the sun, and that's my religion. Y'all. We be back.
Speaker 1: What's up, y'all? We back? Hey, y'all. It's easy and
Speaker 1: it's a j y'all. We have a lot of conversations
Speaker 1: about relationships and love and life all that same shit. Okay.
Speaker 1: I was talking to one of my friends and she
Speaker 1: was like, I'm you know, I'm dating with intention, but
Speaker 1: she was dating two different men, Like, how could you
Speaker 1: be dating with intention? I can't. You can't be dating
Speaker 1: two men with no. You gotta focus. I feel like
Speaker 1: when you're dating with intention, no, you don't think so
Speaker 1: I'm intentionally dating these two men to see what you want.
Speaker 1: I like that. Nah, dating is one thing. Right, then
Speaker 1: when you find somebody via dating right that you are
Speaker 1: interested in they're interested in you. You guys do things intentional.
Speaker 1: That makes sense to me, Like you have to pick
Speaker 1: the men you want to date intentionally. That's discernment and
Speaker 1: discernment to pick the right person that you want to
Speaker 1: date intentionally. I don't think you can date multiple people
Speaker 1: with intent with like intentionally dating with intent? What does
Speaker 1: that even mean? Let's talk about all right? So dating?
Speaker 1: And I also also thought about this after seeing Ray
Speaker 1: Kwan just got married at fifty three years old to
Speaker 1: his baby mama. Yes, been with because the kids are adults.
Speaker 1: I believe. Yeah, nigga, I'm not doing it. Get somebody
Speaker 1: else to do it. A longtime girlfriend, if we would have,
Speaker 1: if he would have passed away, or like if somebody
Speaker 1: who dies like they put him, put you in the
Speaker 1: in the obituary as special special friend. Imagine being with
Speaker 1: a nigga for ten years and I got a kid.
Speaker 1: Nigga got you as special friend. My friend called her
Speaker 1: boyfriend her special friend. She's an old ass lady at heart.
Speaker 1: That's old. This is my friend, mister Earl, special friend,
Speaker 1: Uncle Earl. So it says dating with intention refers to
Speaker 1: entering into romantic relationships. It's plural with the s on
Speaker 1: the end, with a clear purpose or goal in mind. Okay,
Speaker 1: instead of casually dating for the sake so casual dating,
Speaker 1: instead of casually dating for the sake of companionship or
Speaker 1: temporary enjoyment. Individuals who date with intention have a deeper
Speaker 1: understanding of what they want and are actively seeking a
Speaker 1: long term, meaningful connection. My attention span is, I'm really
Speaker 1: like a what do they call it, a modern day
Speaker 1: monogamous like practice? No, I don't know serial monogamy. Shut up, No,
Speaker 1: I am a modern day I practice modern day monogamy,
Speaker 1: which means one dig at a time, one man at
Speaker 1: a time, like I saw, I got, you know I might.
Speaker 1: And when I say you talk about three summers, it
Speaker 1: was like, shut up, just one person. And when I'm
Speaker 1: fucking with them, I'm not just talking about sex. I'm
Speaker 1: talking about time, communication, meeting out like all the things
Speaker 1: I can't junk, like juggle multiple people. When you actually
Speaker 1: trying to date with intent and you're trying to show
Speaker 1: this one person how interested in them you are. How
Speaker 1: do you pick one? Though? Okay, how I pick one nowadays?
Speaker 1: So there, I have a list, first of all, right,
Speaker 1: what's on it? I think I read my list here before,
Speaker 1: and just recently I met a guy, and meeting him
Speaker 1: forced me to go back and find my list because
Speaker 1: I did this list like three years ago and I
Speaker 1: didn't like write the list myself. I was on the
Speaker 1: phone with one of my friends, the older lady when
Speaker 1: I first got into trading options. I met her and
Speaker 1: she's like a self proclaimed master manifesto, right, she actually
Speaker 1: goes out and do conferences and shit like that. And
Speaker 1: while having a general conversation with her, she was sitting
Speaker 1: there right in my list, like, well, what kind of
Speaker 1: man you're looking for, you know, because you gotta be
Speaker 1: real specific when you're looking for somebody whatever. She was
Speaker 1: writing my things down and then she sent me this list.
Speaker 1: I met this guy, and I'm like, this shit is easy.
Speaker 1: This shit is fucking too easy. To know the man
Speaker 1: is too easy, you know what I'm saying. You know,
Speaker 1: how you meet somebody and it's just like a lot
Speaker 1: of Riggan Moreau, a lot of unsureness, Like you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, you might be into him, but he's
Speaker 1: not being as attentive to you in the beginning, and
Speaker 1: shit like that. This shit easy. So I'm like, damn,
Speaker 1: so I had to go back and look at my list, like,
Speaker 1: did I find a nigga off the list? Did you?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm outside inside right now, I'm inside outside.
Speaker 1: You know, I feel like your list. I read my
Speaker 1: list again. It's an earlier episode. But oh and one
Speaker 1: of the things she missed off this list, because this
Speaker 1: is my first thing that be on list, is fucking generous. Okay,
Speaker 1: I need a generous nigga. She missed it, all right,
Speaker 1: So mentally clear was the first thing spiritual? A choosy lover,
Speaker 1: which means and you know exactly, but he been around, okay,
Speaker 1: loves me for me. You know, I gotta be able
Speaker 1: to be myself at all times. Okay, Uh monogamous? All right.
Speaker 1: So when y'all on here commenting on that fucking video
Speaker 1: that's been going viral thirty thousand times, I don't want
Speaker 1: a man that cheats, Okay, if we're gonna be cheating,
Speaker 1: if you cheat, I cheat, we cheat those. That's how
Speaker 1: that's gonna work. So before you do it, just consider
Speaker 1: who's making love to yo, old lady? Why you was
Speaker 1: out exactly because I make niggas cry full time, all right?
Speaker 1: Good with his hands all right, I like massages. I
Speaker 1: actually like to watch massage porn. You ain't nothing massage porn,
Speaker 1: and that's a thing. Yes, bitch, motherfucker's getting rubbed up
Speaker 1: and all of a sudden it starts sucking dick and
Speaker 1: and you don't need massages and all that. I like
Speaker 1: massage points. I like a man that's good with his hands.
Speaker 1: Ain't nothing worse than a nigga. Like, let me give
Speaker 1: you a massage and do this boy, get off of me.
Speaker 1: I wanted my back round. Oh they be too, They
Speaker 1: be too nigga, Get off ca all of a sudden
Speaker 1: right now they go straight to massage touch and now
Speaker 1: you got a whole palmer ass right after that, Get
Speaker 1: off of me, nigga. All right? Fit nice body with
Speaker 1: a broad back like a black man. Very specific. Yes,
Speaker 1: it's how I know God is real. Okay, them niggas
Speaker 1: backs be wild. Now I only talk about like little wow.
Speaker 1: I'm talking about Jonathan Major's back like like yeah, this nigga,
Speaker 1: he can pull a tree out again, rights, back hand.
Speaker 1: I like nice backs, Like that's my favorite part of
Speaker 1: a man's body. It's back. And then it's like the
Speaker 1: little v cut if he got that you know, you know,
Speaker 1: some of y'all kind of gutties so you can't even
Speaker 1: see the V no more, but it used to be
Speaker 1: there attractive to me. You don't have to be the finest.
Speaker 1: But like I said, I don't have kids yet. I
Speaker 1: would like my mate to be aesthetically attractive to me
Speaker 1: between the ages of thirty five and fifty. Yeah, he's like,
Speaker 1: hell no, nigga, give me a thirty one year old.
Speaker 1: Yeah no, like my age can marry between twenty eight
Speaker 1: and forty two? Are you serious? Twenty eighth and forty two?
Speaker 1: Did you want to pack bag lunch for the rest
Speaker 1: of your life? Oh my no, I had this one
Speaker 1: twenty eight year old. He had helped me up like this.
Speaker 1: He was like this, and I was in the sky.
Speaker 1: I was like this, he's so strong, big me. I
Speaker 1: got a crazy back whole wow bag because I ain't
Speaker 1: know little girl home to be up in the air
Speaker 1: like that, right, that's a whole lot of shit going on.
Speaker 1: He can have kids ages four to twenty like, so
Speaker 1: little kids not newborns okay, and not no two three
Speaker 1: year olds either, So four to five to twenty years old,
Speaker 1: dog lovers, I want another dog, so you can't be
Speaker 1: I hate animals, grateful, right, secure, confident, a reformed whore.
Speaker 1: I like, listen, I don't really want a man if
Speaker 1: you only fuck five people in life, because you probably
Speaker 1: would a woman who only had sex with four to
Speaker 1: five people. So now y'all only know wh y'all know, like,
Speaker 1: I need you to be able to put something, because
Speaker 1: what if you watch a lot of porn, you know
Speaker 1: how to do all the things. First of all, don't
Speaker 1: be watching porn and coming over here thinking I'm about
Speaker 1: to do all this porn ship. That's that's not you
Speaker 1: gotta be have dealt with real women, right because you're
Speaker 1: not about to do all this slup me out ship.
Speaker 1: So you don't want to be slooded out, but I do.
Speaker 1: I want It's High Bridge, you know, that's my favorite ship.
Speaker 1: I like, I'm a real Gemini, y'all. I stay in
Speaker 1: the middle of all ships. I can see what the
Speaker 1: fuck is going on. So I need you to You
Speaker 1: don't want no nigga, like no, God doesn't want your
Speaker 1: down there. You don't want that. No, But you also
Speaker 1: don't want like no poor don't bite my pussy like
Speaker 1: I don't want somebody who don't know how to eat
Speaker 1: pussy gonna bite your ship like you just don't know
Speaker 1: what you're gonna get with a guy who hasn't really
Speaker 1: had access to pussy like that. You know, I want
Speaker 1: you to be experienced. You can train them to do
Speaker 1: all the things you like. I like experienced men. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: that's fair. I'm an experienced woman. Very no season, respectful,
Speaker 1: you know that's on the list. Brave and a protector.
Speaker 1: That's my list. I guess I need to create a list.
Speaker 2: I don't even have a list written down of all
Speaker 2: the attributes my thing be like it just be civil
Speaker 2: like integrity, ambition, some spirituality, caring, sense of humor, some style, and.
Speaker 1: A dick yeah man. And money. Okay, I said ambition.
Speaker 1: If you're ambitious to I don't mean nothing. There's a
Speaker 1: lot of broke, ass ambitious people. You had to be
Speaker 1: able to translate that into money. Oh you're trying to
Speaker 1: be nice. No, No, that's what I'm not, just saying
Speaker 1: money generous with ambitions the word I use generous. I
Speaker 1: like a generous. Typically men who are ambitious to have stuff,
Speaker 1: But that don't mean they're gonna be generous, you know,
Speaker 1: and it really doesn't matter how much a man makes
Speaker 1: how much they willing to give you, right sharing me
Speaker 1: a generous man. Yes, so that's huh. I feel like
Speaker 1: that's a Do you think that list is fucked up?
Speaker 1: Joy wants to know if the man has to have everything? No,
Speaker 1: he doesn't have to have everything, cause if he had
Speaker 1: all those that had a uh not so wild back,
Speaker 1: you'd be Okay, Yeah, you know what I'm saying. I like,
Speaker 1: I have a certain like aesthetic man that I like,
Speaker 1: and it's kind of changing over time. But no, I
Speaker 1: could go out go without some of the things, and
Speaker 1: most of the things would probably be like the more
Speaker 1: physical things right, but all other shit I may not not.
Speaker 1: You have to be nice to me. To talk to
Speaker 1: me nice, I'm gonna be amused. I'm inspire You also
Speaker 1: want somebody who inspires me. So those are the type
Speaker 1: of things that I'm looking for when I'm dating somebody.
Speaker 1: I want to be able to sit down with the
Speaker 1: person i'm with and write goals and shit like that, Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I haven't had anybody like that. A lot of times
Speaker 1: you've been in situationships since this Nigga's planning his whole
Speaker 1: life without you. Yeah, I don't want that anymore. I
Speaker 1: feel like that's what you get when you're not dating
Speaker 1: somebody who's also dating with intent, and y'all have now
Speaker 1: chosen each other and y'all can do all these things.
Speaker 2: When I was talking to this guy and I was
Speaker 2: asking him, like, you know, what did he want in
Speaker 2: his future? And everything was about his children. He never
Speaker 2: said anything about a woman. Yeah, nothing about it. That's
Speaker 2: because they turned out to him.
Speaker 1: And he was like, I didn't even realize that that.
Speaker 1: I didn't include that. I have to uh, maybe unpack
Speaker 1: what that is. Well, that's because they're current, that's currently
Speaker 1: where he's at, so he's not really thinking about having
Speaker 1: to consider a new woman. It's just these kids. And
Speaker 1: I feel like that's why. You know, the last person
Speaker 1: I was dating, he had sent me a message and
Speaker 1: he was like, you know, he worries about like being
Speaker 1: able to take care of me and his girls, Like
Speaker 1: why is there even like it should be? I feel
Speaker 1: like that's something I don't want to really want to hear.
Speaker 1: I want you to just figure it out, to do it,
Speaker 1: because it's not hard. You know what I'm saying. You
Speaker 1: don't have to take care of me now, right, So
Speaker 1: why would why is that a thing that would be
Speaker 1: on your mind? So that to me, you'll never have
Speaker 1: another woman in your life. So just be honest with yourself, right,
Speaker 1: and just fuck bitches for the rest of your life.
Speaker 1: But don't fuck women who don't got kids though, because
Speaker 1: you don't want no more kids either. Yeah, that's a lot,
Speaker 1: you know, so get bye bye.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to decide. Have I truly honestly been dating
Speaker 2: with intention sometimes?
Speaker 1: But I feel like anytime I put my intention on it,
Speaker 1: it always is so bad. I don't think you have
Speaker 1: to be like stressed out about dating with intention, right,
Speaker 1: but I do think a lot of times women, the
Speaker 1: mistake we make is asking for having these demands after
Speaker 1: sex and stuff like that, like them first few dates.
Speaker 1: Be honest and tell that man exactly what you want
Speaker 1: so he knows what he's signing up for. Some of
Speaker 1: them are still probably live to get the pussy. You know.
Speaker 1: You just don't never know, right, But let that person
Speaker 1: know what you're looking for. I'm not just out here
Speaker 1: eating out with you just because I want a meal, right,
Speaker 1: I'm actually looking for a husband. I want to be
Speaker 1: married in two years. You know I want to have
Speaker 1: a kid. You know, make sure you put all your deliverable.
Speaker 1: You put it out too early. It kind of scares
Speaker 1: niggas off a little bit, and that he's not the
Speaker 1: one for you. If me talking about adultshit is scary
Speaker 1: to you, get that's the statement too, Yeah, because this
Speaker 1: is regular adultshit. And I understand, like the older we
Speaker 1: get men have kids, right, So if you know that
Speaker 1: you're a man that has is you don't want any
Speaker 1: more kids? Why are you talking to me? Yeah? And
Speaker 1: you know that right? And also this is another thing
Speaker 1: I feel like it seemed like the onus is always
Speaker 1: on a woman. So the man say I don't want this, right,
Speaker 1: and then he proceeds with you. You're saying I want this,
Speaker 1: you proceed with him. Why you stay? If you knew
Speaker 1: I ain't want this? Nah? Fuck that? Why'd you stay
Speaker 1: when you knew that's what I wanted. We both had
Speaker 1: a decision to make. You chose to stay. I chose
Speaker 1: to stay. Why is the onness always on our leve? No?
Speaker 1: I let her know it wasn't that type of time exactly.
Speaker 1: She got the kids this weekend. I ain't even gonna
Speaker 1: be there, but she got my kids exactly. That's what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. Like, they'll play with you as long as
Speaker 1: you lit them. And that's some bullshit. Listen. So clarity
Speaker 1: of purpose is the first part of this. It says
Speaker 1: in individuals dating with intention have a clear understanding of
Speaker 1: what they are looking for in a partner and what
Speaker 1: they want to achieve in a relationship. They are focused
Speaker 1: on finding compatible match based on shared values, life goals,
Speaker 1: and long term compatibility. So first date, it is not
Speaker 1: inappropriate to talk about this stuff. I feel like yall
Speaker 1: can just kill so much time, right, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, aside from a cock shot, Like I'm gonna
Speaker 1: tell you all these other things that I need from you.
Speaker 2: What if you met a guy who had all those things,
Speaker 2: I mean, he was absolutely perfect.
Speaker 1: And then his dick wasn't enough? Then what what does
Speaker 1: enough mean? Whatever enough mean for you? Like it wasn't No,
Speaker 1: not a micro did, Okay, I can't deal with micro
Speaker 1: Not a micro did. But even though micro dis me
Speaker 1: love to Hopefully it's someone out there that just like this.
Speaker 1: I love nothing but Micael Dicks. This is crazy, right,
Speaker 1: A nigga penis never has to be this big. Women
Speaker 1: can't even take all this right half the time. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's just un realistic. And I always say five by
Speaker 1: five to seven inches is all you need as a woman.
Speaker 1: Anything else is ridiculous. That probably like eight inches in
Speaker 1: with the girth on it is wild, wild back wild dick.
Speaker 1: I don't but I want more girth than anything. So
Speaker 1: this is this is thick. Yeah, okay, where is this going, bitch?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I was just trying to figure out
Speaker 1: that's like what was important. So if he just got
Speaker 1: all the things, but no, dick I have loved. I
Speaker 1: don't want to put that on my list who did
Speaker 1: not have a love? And I've been cheated on by
Speaker 1: one who doesn't have a lot of dick, and that's
Speaker 1: the most hurtful. I love that little dick to death.
Speaker 1: I loved it. Yeah, I loved him because he had
Speaker 1: all the other things. So his little dick felt like
Speaker 1: a big dick because he was so big in all
Speaker 1: the other areas. Right, yeah, but then once you get bad,
Speaker 1: I was like, I can't believe I've been acting like
Speaker 1: this behind this little dick. Nail God, the nerve of
Speaker 1: you to cheat on me with that, you can't unsuck
Speaker 1: it through. They were talking shit, were talking shit about them. Dudes.
Speaker 1: You can't unfucking you can't unsuck it. You was loving
Speaker 1: that long day. My problem is you embarrassing me, letting
Speaker 1: people know what type of dick I've been dealing with
Speaker 1: all this time. That's why I'm mad. Now everybody know
Speaker 1: I've been sexually frustrated for the last three years. Where
Speaker 1: fuck you bye uh. Emotional readiness. People who date with
Speaker 1: intention have taken the time to work on themselves, healed
Speaker 1: from healed from pastulations. Some store working progress on that
Speaker 1: shit and develop a strong sense of self. They are
Speaker 1: emotionally prepared to engage in a healthy, committed partnership. You
Speaker 1: know what I got a problem with. I'd be talking
Speaker 1: too much about the past. You know, I've seen a
Speaker 1: video on Instagram and I know better, right, But I
Speaker 1: just I'm an open book. I don't mind. It's not
Speaker 1: that I'm don't living there. Some of the shit I've
Speaker 1: been through, it's just fucking funny and wild. I want
Speaker 1: to tell somebody else about it.
Speaker 2: But in the beginning, like it's off putting for me
Speaker 2: when a man comes and trashes his ex to me
Speaker 2: in the first day like just talking about their ex
Speaker 2: wife all bad and talking about the ex gird.
Speaker 1: I'd be like, do you want to know anything about me?
Speaker 1: Or we gonna sit here and talk about this last
Speaker 1: shit right, you know, the whole time.
Speaker 2: So I never I don't like that. I've had that
Speaker 2: happen and it's off put and like, what makes you
Speaker 2: think I would want to date you now? The way
Speaker 2: you're dragging this other person and maybe they were a
Speaker 2: shit person, but your energy is wrong for what I
Speaker 2: got going on?
Speaker 1: Make me laugh, nigga? Right, yeah, I never experienced that
Speaker 1: from a man, but I'm definitely like when you start
Speaker 1: having them two hour long conversations with people, stuff come
Speaker 1: out sometimes. One of my homegirls, she was like, if
Speaker 1: you are a woman and you have a baby and
Speaker 1: a man is not in the kid's life because he's
Speaker 1: choosing not to and you find another man just telling
Speaker 1: that nigga dead, don't be telling, don't be telling. Don't
Speaker 1: be telling a lie. And that's not a lie. Like
Speaker 1: essentially he is like you won't even take care of
Speaker 1: your kid. You are dead. You're not dead. He's just
Speaker 1: a dead beat dog. You don't want to let a
Speaker 1: man know about failed relationships. That's the thing, right, because
Speaker 1: sometimes subconsciously, subconsciously, some people don't put you through the
Speaker 1: same shit thinking you could deal with it because you did.
Speaker 1: You let that last nigga exactly. I literally had one
Speaker 1: of my exes, like, okay, when I was with him,
Speaker 1: he got his baby mama pregnant for the third time. No,
Speaker 1: he had two kids when I met him. He got
Speaker 1: her pregnant, right, Yes, I had a tup of pregnancy, right,
Speaker 1: so now she has a baby. So the years later,
Speaker 1: now I'm with another man, I'm living in a long
Speaker 1: distant relationship. He gets somebody pregnant. I'm telling my first
Speaker 1: ex that was on this type of time because he's
Speaker 1: never not been trying to get with me, like get back,
Speaker 1: get me back, right over all these years, he like,
Speaker 1: you took that nigga back. You're trying to compare your
Speaker 1: fuck up to his fuck up. You. The difference is
Speaker 1: you was living five minutes from me. This nigga was
Speaker 1: living eight hundred miles from me. Shit happens, and that's
Speaker 1: a little bit more understandable. But he really was like
Speaker 1: mad because I dealt with some shit from somebody else
Speaker 1: and deal with it from him. That's crazy. You can't
Speaker 1: get mad, so you're not gonna let me play you
Speaker 1: like the last name. But I'm not nigga like I'm wrong. Else,
Speaker 1: what's wrong with y'all bitches? Now, y'all just don't be
Speaker 1: letting people play y'all like y'all used to. That's really
Speaker 1: why they're mad at me. They really be at him,
Speaker 1: mad because they can't, especially this younger generation of women,
Speaker 1: like they don't. They don't girl, they don't give a fuck.
Speaker 1: They do not give a fuck. Pimp outside, Yes, they
Speaker 1: don't give a fuck. I just hope they're doing any careful.
Speaker 1: The only worst part about it is that while they're
Speaker 1: not giving a fuck, they're also still creating other humans. Right,
Speaker 1: that's the fuck up part about it. You know you
Speaker 1: can not give a fuck and be by your damn self.
Speaker 1: I don't say I'll spend that five hundred what is it? Before? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was like, whoa, these lyrics are going there, but
Speaker 1: emotional readiness like you, they gotta be on the same page,
Speaker 1: and you're not gonna know that unless y'all talk about it. Right,
Speaker 1: So instead of playing guests work and hoping he's on
Speaker 1: the same page as you, I don't like me feeling
Speaker 1: confused no more. Yeah, I need I need to know
Speaker 1: exactly where I stand in your life. I don't need
Speaker 1: you making plans for the future without me if I'm
Speaker 1: in your life today, Like, what the fuck? Because everything
Speaker 1: I do I'm thinking about you. I'm considering you and
Speaker 1: everything I do, Damn, I wonder if he can do
Speaker 1: it with me. That's how I when I'm with somebody,
Speaker 1: even just smashing. If I'm smashing you on a damn
Speaker 1: regular and you might smash buddy, and we go to lunch, dinner,
Speaker 1: and I'll do all these things together, Like I'm considering
Speaker 1: you for my future too, What do you mean smash buddy?
Speaker 1: Fucking So, if y'all are just having a sexual relationship,
Speaker 1: but that's a lot of these situationships, it'd be a
Speaker 1: lot of sex involved, right, a lot of sex and
Speaker 1: then you might eat in between, you might go on
Speaker 1: a trip it to here and there, but it'd be
Speaker 1: a lot of sex. To me, yeah, you do be
Speaker 1: a lot of sex. But what I'm confused as to
Speaker 1: what you're saying. Like, so, if you have someone who's
Speaker 1: you're just sleeping when you still considering them in that way,
Speaker 1: I guess I don't just be sleeping with them, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, Well, then there's not a smash buddy. Then, yeah,
Speaker 1: but you don't know what he thinks it is. So
Speaker 1: I guess I'm calling a smash buddy because if you're
Speaker 1: not considering me, you obviously think I'm a smash buddy.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. If you're not considering me
Speaker 1: for anything else, like any real life events, you're right.
Speaker 1: So that's just you know, I'm just going based off
Speaker 1: what the man. I don't want to be confused. No,
Speaker 1: I don't want to have to guess where we are anymore.
Speaker 1: Right So, and then if I ask you, I don't
Speaker 1: want no fucking whack ass ambiguous response like where you at?
Speaker 1: Where are you with me? Like? Where are you? If
Speaker 1: you even have to ask, you probably should get the
Speaker 1: fucking out of there, you know, because I feel like
Speaker 1: a man with real intentions for you. He makes it
Speaker 1: clear that he's fucking with you. There's no guests work involved.
Speaker 1: So getting with emotionally ready people right open communication, love
Speaker 1: it communication is crucial, and dating with intention These individual
Speaker 1: individuals are upfront and honest about their intentions. Desires and
Speaker 1: expectations from the beginning. They express their goals and listen
Speaker 1: actively to their partners' needs and aspirations.
Speaker 2: I think that's important because I think oftentimes, especially younger women,
Speaker 2: find themselves committed to a nigga that they never ask
Speaker 2: to be in a relationship, Like he never asks you
Speaker 2: to be his girl. Y'all never had that conversation. Y'all
Speaker 2: never had a verbal agreement that y'all were committed. And
Speaker 2: now you are in a committed relationship right, essentially by yourself.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: So maybe he's doing all the things that would say
Speaker 2: he's committed to you. In the event that he does
Speaker 2: something that proves he's not, he can say we never said.
Speaker 1: We was in there, and that's emotion. And that's why
Speaker 1: going forward in my next relationship, if whoever is listening,
Speaker 1: I need a certified letter, right, notarized, and it could
Speaker 1: be in like some little shit from high school. Check
Speaker 1: yes and no. Right, I want you to be my girl,
Speaker 1: check yes and no. I need that. I want to
Speaker 1: I want you to be my wife. In a little bit,
Speaker 1: you know some something I need. I need that comforment
Speaker 1: because I've never done that. I'm saying have you ever
Speaker 1: had a man say, hey, man, I want you to
Speaker 1: be my girl? Like? How long ago was that? So?
Speaker 1: I have had a commitment phobia most of my life.
Speaker 1: I'm working on it, and all my relationships was like
Speaker 1: either we about to be together or we gotta leave
Speaker 1: each other alone? What you're gonna do because I'll be like,
Speaker 1: why we got a mother label on it? I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: That was always me so even with like my last
Speaker 2: one and the one before that was definitely.
Speaker 1: Like they asking you what it is? Yo? You see?
Speaker 1: All right, y'all think i'd be tripping, but I'm dealing
Speaker 1: with a whole grown ass man. Okay, I'm in a
Speaker 1: fucking committed relationship fucking mentally, contractually, physically with a grown
Speaker 1: ass lady. Boy. I'm just thinking about your relationship for
Speaker 1: a commitment in okay, real way. But there was a
Speaker 1: time where I was just like, why so you're emotionally
Speaker 1: ready now for a committed relationship? Are you sure? I
Speaker 1: am very sure? Okay, all right, that sound good. I
Speaker 1: believe you. I don't think I would like it much, bitch.
Speaker 1: It wouldn't be that now. It wouldn't be like.
Speaker 2: Either, listen, you need to be my girl. We just
Speaker 2: need to stop doing this. I don't think I'm not
Speaker 2: there no more.
Speaker 1: I think like I would be ready, like okay, let's
Speaker 1: let's go ahead and do this for real, or you
Speaker 1: can end up on the other side where you ask him,
Speaker 1: so what we doing.
Speaker 2: I just don't feel like I'll ever be there because
Speaker 2: there's just so many options, like nigga, you know it's
Speaker 2: nigga right here, right here, right here.
Speaker 1: I feel like these dudes don't realize, like y'all, they
Speaker 1: think they got so many options. Men don't have that
Speaker 1: much options. Nigga, If I'm choosing you while you're balding,
Speaker 1: while you're gaining weight, why are you doing exactly like
Speaker 1: all of us all, we're all aging, we all, nobody's
Speaker 1: getting any younger, and I'm still choosing you. Excuse me?
Speaker 1: Why do you think you got all these options out here?
Speaker 1: It's only like five bitches out here, and it's five
Speaker 1: niggas left, like, like, what are you gonna do? But
Speaker 1: social let's bring it back to social media. Social media
Speaker 1: will make you feel like it's a holo dex. Yeah,
Speaker 1: if you have access to everybody, why do you want
Speaker 1: access to everybody who was I talking to recently that said, No,
Speaker 1: we wasn't. This is actually I was whit with me. No,
Speaker 1: that men really think they can suck everybody.
Speaker 2: I don't think men think that they can't fuck nobody
Speaker 2: dog Jordan's Do men feel like they can fuck everybody?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I don't think that. Carlinos Miller said that on
Speaker 1: our episode. That's when I was watching. I saw that. Yes,
Speaker 1: it was like it's three hundred and sixty five days
Speaker 1: in the year. But you know, and I said, I
Speaker 1: mean you might have access, but is it is it forceful?
Speaker 1: Did they consent? Though? You know what I'm saying, What
Speaker 1: what are we talking about? Because you cannot, as a man,
Speaker 1: fu who you want. I think women can. We can
Speaker 1: go our nine Walmart and pick up some dick in
Speaker 1: a real way. But men can't do that. No, I
Speaker 1: don't think they can do it the same way.
Speaker 2: But it depends on what men because I feel like
Speaker 2: there are some men that can just have their pick.
Speaker 1: Of the litter as some very slim usually millionaires, and
Speaker 1: that's when it should be just out here getting all
Speaker 1: these bitches and you don't got nothing for them. So
Speaker 1: open communication, that's my favorite. Be able you should be
Speaker 1: able to talk to whoever you wit, ask them questions
Speaker 1: and they give you like real valid answers, you know,
Speaker 1: not some beaten around the bush type shit to keep
Speaker 1: you continuously confused about what's actually happening. Next one is
Speaker 1: building a strong foundation. Dating with intention involves investing time
Speaker 1: and effort and effort into building a solid foundation for
Speaker 1: a relationship. This includes developing trust, fastening excuse me, fostered.
Speaker 1: This involves developing trust, fostering emotional connection, and nurturing shared values.
Speaker 1: I feel like we kind of talked about that alright, Yeah, yep.
Speaker 1: Evaluating compatibility is the next one. Those who date with
Speaker 1: intention are mindful of avaluating the compatibility between themselves and
Speaker 1: their potential partners. They take the time to assess whether
Speaker 1: the relationship aligns with their long term goals and values.
Speaker 1: I do need to be with somebody who has the same. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I was dating this guy. I really liked him. He
Speaker 1: was so fine. He was a marine, he was like strong,
Speaker 1: He just had this presence about him. He had the
Speaker 1: most beautiful teeth and dimples, chocolate, great personality. I loved
Speaker 1: everything about him, and I was like, Okay, I'll marry
Speaker 1: this guy. But he did not believe in God. And
Speaker 1: I was like, in what way did he not did
Speaker 1: what God was within him? Or just atheists? He was
Speaker 1: an atheist and a black atheist. And I thought, why
Speaker 1: you said that, Like, that's a lot of people who
Speaker 1: don't like believe in God in the same sense that
Speaker 1: you know, Christians might. Okay, well, you don't have to
Speaker 1: be a Christian, I said. When I said my list,
Speaker 1: I said spirituality. So he was just didn't believe in nothing,
Speaker 1: you know. And it just was it was like the
Speaker 1: absence of belief to me, you know. So, but how
Speaker 1: live in his life? How was he as a person.
Speaker 1: He was a joyous person. Okay, like a joyous person.
Speaker 1: But I just needed you to believe in someone. He
Speaker 1: believed in himself, I bet you. So one day I
Speaker 1: was in South Park Mall and these girls, they said
Speaker 1: they was doing some study for their college or something.
Speaker 1: They walked up on me and they started to talking
Speaker 1: about Christianity and religion and all that, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: she says something about Jesus Christ, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't practice that, you know what I'm saying. So
Speaker 1: she was like, well, you don't believe in nothing? I said,
Speaker 1: I believe in me, I believe in a God and
Speaker 1: me right, So maybe he didn't have the words to
Speaker 1: expressed in that way. A lot. I think that's where
Speaker 1: a lot of people are atheists. Right. They don't have
Speaker 1: like the words me and I don't want to put
Speaker 1: words in people's mouths, right, but they may not have
Speaker 1: the depth to express what it is. But you absolutely,
Speaker 1: but I believe in something. You don't have to believe.
Speaker 1: You don't have to do anything. You don't have to.
Speaker 1: But I would need the person that I'm with to
Speaker 1: proclaim that, not just live their life good and treat
Speaker 1: you to believe in God. Why because that's what I
Speaker 1: believe in and I need us to align in that way.
Speaker 1: That's just one thing that I desire. I guess I
Speaker 1: understand him. I understand people when they say they don't
Speaker 1: believe in God or they'll believe like a God exists.
Speaker 1: This world is treacherous there, it's just a terrible kids.
Speaker 1: Kids get done up. You know, any place where kids
Speaker 1: get the worship happening to them like this can't be
Speaker 1: a godly place. When I think about what God is, right,
Speaker 1: I also think you have to consider how you view
Speaker 1: the world too, because I see goodness where I go.
Speaker 1: I see children thriving, I see happy kids, I see love.
Speaker 1: But the things you don't You see the news though, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I do. I do. But I choose to focus my
Speaker 1: energy on the godly things and be the godly things
Speaker 1: that exists. So I don't see the world as treacherous.
Speaker 2: I try not to look at it in that light.
Speaker 2: And I feel like the way you view the world,
Speaker 2: you're gonna see what.
Speaker 1: You view, you know. No, I think that you're gonna
Speaker 1: probably manifest the things in you with your viewing, right,
Speaker 1: But you can't just be out in the world in
Speaker 1: ignorance as things aren't happening to people, you know, because
Speaker 1: we see it every day all day. So him being
Speaker 1: a good person, I feel like him being a good
Speaker 1: person treating you nice, that is godlike, That is godly.
Speaker 1: Just because he didn't have this self proclaimed belief like
Speaker 1: you do, I would not have discarded him in no way.
Speaker 2: No, he had to go get up out of there,
Speaker 2: my boy. I'm sorry. I need you, I need you
Speaker 2: to believe.
Speaker 1: That's what we differ. If I was sitting down when
Speaker 1: we do our and I have a good idea for
Speaker 1: our dating little thing we will do one day. If
Speaker 1: I was sitting at the table with a man and he,
Speaker 1: you know, telling me all these things, and he was like,
Speaker 1: he's a he's an atheist or I don't believe in God,
Speaker 1: I would just need him to expound a little bit more,
Speaker 1: that's all. But if you living your life right, I
Speaker 1: don't believe that I'm gonna die. I don't believe in
Speaker 1: like a heaven and hell. I believe that's eternal. You've
Speaker 1: created that heaven and hell. Whatever you believe subconsciously is
Speaker 1: where you're going to go once you pass this realm. Right,
Speaker 1: So if you are living godly, if you are living
Speaker 1: you know, have compassion for people, consideration for people, Why
Speaker 1: would I go to hell? Newborn babies or whatever the
Speaker 1: age is that they say you got to repent by
Speaker 1: or when you die you're going to hell. Like kids
Speaker 1: haven't even had the experiences yet to be good or
Speaker 1: bad or repent. Why would I? Why would they go
Speaker 1: to hell? That doesn't make sense to me. Right, So
Speaker 1: it's a lot of things in the religion I don't
Speaker 1: agree with either. So I wouldn't dismiss that person.
Speaker 2: I just want someone that I can pray with and
Speaker 2: then if you're a person who doesn't pray because you
Speaker 2: don't believe in those things.
Speaker 1: He didn't do none of that.
Speaker 2: I don't think he just it was the void of
Speaker 2: any spirituality, and I think he needed to find whatever
Speaker 2: that was, you know, So it just didn't align with me.
Speaker 1: I want to pray over my food. I want to
Speaker 1: pray in the morning. I want to pray before, you know,
Speaker 1: if I'm having surgery. I want a man who's praying
Speaker 1: over me. I don't want a man's like not for
Speaker 1: you on the other side. No, he don't even believe
Speaker 1: in no other side. Perhaps, you know, he believes that
Speaker 1: you'll be okay. That is that is That's enough prayer,
Speaker 1: that's all the pride. I didn't know. I didn't belief
Speaker 1: that you're going to be good. I didn't know that.
Speaker 1: I didn't know that to be true.
Speaker 2: It's just like, as you assisted him the absence of yeah,
Speaker 2: I had to let him go on about his business.
Speaker 1: You thought he was a demon of your husband. I ain't.
Speaker 1: I wasn't gonna get a chance to find out. Squirrels
Speaker 1: take scuirre ass So yeah, that's what dating with intention
Speaker 1: is and I mean, we can go on and on
Speaker 1: with this this list thing. But but okay, hold on,
Speaker 1: and here's another thing about him. He would mock my beliefs.
Speaker 1: That was a problem. Give me an example, like here
Speaker 1: you go talking about your god again. Oh no, see
Speaker 1: yeah he can get the fuck now I do. That's
Speaker 1: a whole house divided. That's what I'm saying. Like, so
Speaker 1: my thing is like diet though, like nigga eating too
Speaker 1: much steak. Like, I'm not trying to make somebody like
Speaker 1: change their whole shit for me on some air cub
Speaker 1: I do shit. But I feel like I'm very influential,
Speaker 1: right and if I can point out like why you
Speaker 1: should be in this way or whatever. And as a woman,
Speaker 1: I'm responsible for the nutrition of the family. So whatever
Speaker 1: the fuck I'm cooking with your niggas eat and it's
Speaker 1: gonna be very good. Right. So I'm not overly concerned
Speaker 1: about somebody's diet. But I don't want to be a
Speaker 1: wanted to be a fight. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: If a nigga smokes cigarettes, I'm not trying to change you.
Speaker 1: I'm not talking to you. I don't fuck with cigarettes.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying that's a deal breaker and
Speaker 1: it's not even on my list. I just already automatically. No,
Speaker 1: I don't want you to change shit by yourself. I
Speaker 1: want to be able to run into somebody and like
Speaker 1: everything about them. I'm not trying to change you. You're
Speaker 1: not trying to change me. We can cohabitate. This is
Speaker 1: this is shallow as fuck. But I'm a say I
Speaker 1: don't like a man who don't drink. What man, Yeah,
Speaker 1: have a cocktail with me? Like, let's have a drink.
Speaker 1: Let's go out and have some drinks. No, you don't
Speaker 1: have to be an alcoholic. I don't want you to
Speaker 1: be an alcoholic, but I do want to. Do you
Speaker 1: realize that? Okay, So I have a friend. Every time
Speaker 1: this nigga always want to take shots. I'm like, you're alcoholic, nigga.
Speaker 1: I don't drink in a daytime. I don't drink as
Speaker 1: soon as I walk in the fucking door. I ain't
Speaker 1: even put my ship down yet, and you asking me
Speaker 1: if I want a goddamn shot, and this is my friend.
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, nigga, Like you might need to stop
Speaker 1: taking shot too. Like what you said borderline, be like balance,
Speaker 1: But there's no drinking. But what do they smoke? They
Speaker 1: do your other thing.
Speaker 2: That's cool, that's cool. But all right, so yeah that's cool.
Speaker 2: If there was a smoker and they just don't drink
Speaker 2: it all you the dd?
Speaker 1: What do you think they're gonna be lame because they
Speaker 1: don't smoke. I mean because they don't drink. No, not lame.
Speaker 2: I think there are a lot of great people who
Speaker 2: don't indulge. Right, I just want somebody who's gonna.
Speaker 1: Drink with you. Yeah, so if you meet a good guy,
Speaker 1: if you had your list, so you're gonna put on
Speaker 1: your list. This nigga gotta drink. He has to like cocktails.
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's shallow, but it's like, ah, bitch,
Speaker 1: you're mad because I don't want to poison myself. Fuck you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm not mad. I'm not mad at all. I just
Speaker 1: won't fuck with you if you don't drink. I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't pass up your husband because he don't drink.
Speaker 1: Poisonous with a guy because he don't drink. You know,
Speaker 1: but that's what she just said, right, She ain't fucking
Speaker 1: with you if you don't drink. I would like a
Speaker 1: guy that likes to go out and have a cocktail
Speaker 1: every now and then. M I is that so wrong?
Speaker 1: No thank you for or no, look I done took
Speaker 1: the ship, look tell for anyway. I don't know, man,
Speaker 1: dating is fucking tough. It's tough, and I I don't
Speaker 1: feel like keep like meeting people. I don't feel like
Speaker 1: people that people. I do too. And I also like
Speaker 1: first dates, right, I like all the first experiences. I
Speaker 1: saw this this shit on Instagram one day. It was
Speaker 1: a lady. She was talking about, you know, the first
Speaker 1: time you have sex with somebody, like how good it be,
Speaker 1: like the feelings and stuff like that. She was like,
Speaker 1: the only way to get that intense sex every time
Speaker 1: is to fuck somebody new every time.
Speaker 2: Sometimes the first time isn't good. Sometimes I haven't experienced that.
Speaker 2: I haven't experience chemistry sexually.
Speaker 1: I just be knowing. Now. It's the back. That's why
Speaker 1: I like bats, depending on the back. You know. It's
Speaker 1: the back, the back, and that fucking forearm. That's how
Speaker 1: your arm is the left of the penis is what
Speaker 1: you're saying. How it looks so yeah, sometimes like I
Speaker 1: would have a big dick, but like just the stretch
Speaker 1: out used to judge his bitches, grab for her if
Speaker 1: it's thick, you know, the thick forearms, because you know
Speaker 1: they gotta a lot. Because a nigga like right on
Speaker 1: your hands, like this shoulder bench. He ain't need nothing arms.
Speaker 1: I ain't want a nigga lay in the pussy. I
Speaker 1: used to tell my ex, get up, stand up? What
Speaker 1: are you doing? You gotta do something? Pickups like that ship.
Speaker 1: I don't know when the last time you've been on
Speaker 1: a date? Actually day before yesterday? And how was that?
Speaker 1: And who was that? And how did that go? How
Speaker 1: did you meet them? Oh?
Speaker 2: I met them in Miami at a club many many
Speaker 2: years ago, and they were in town and we hung
Speaker 2: out and went.
Speaker 1: And got some food and then we went to a
Speaker 1: comedy show. So it's a good time. It's a good time. No,
Speaker 1: you know, nothing to run home back? Okay, nothing to
Speaker 1: talk about a week? Got it? No, I got it.
Speaker 1: We all had dating, y'all, But that was when was
Speaker 1: your last day? Like two weeks ago. I'm a dater though,
Speaker 1: like I would get you. I like to get dressed pretty,
Speaker 1: go to nice places and eat good food and talk
Speaker 1: absolutely so. And I like first dates. But I don't
Speaker 1: like just having to entertain multiple people like that entertain.
Speaker 1: I don't feel like you get somebody else to do it, man,
Speaker 1: I don't feel like it. But how are you gonna
Speaker 1: know who you're gonna meet that could be yours? I
Speaker 1: talked to them. I talked to them on the phone. No,
Speaker 1: I mean you could go out also, But you know,
Speaker 1: talking on the phone, like communicating, you find out a
Speaker 1: lot about people. That's all. I'm confused why men, and
Speaker 1: maybe men need to talk on the phone more, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: they be so upset because y'all want to take all
Speaker 1: these different women on dates, right, and then you're mad
Speaker 1: when you don't get pussy at the end of the
Speaker 1: day when you really could just get a prostitute and
Speaker 1: fuck her, but y'all want regular women to do prostitute shit.
Speaker 1: And then you get mad when you don't get pussy
Speaker 1: at the end of all these five dates. You took
Speaker 1: five different bitches out, find you somebody who actually likes
Speaker 1: you and d yeah, and then take them off exactly
Speaker 1: and you got guaranteed pussy. That's how that works. Use discernment,
Speaker 1: have conversations like stop just trying to get a bitch
Speaker 1: out the house. So you can get them back in
Speaker 1: the house so you can fuck. I don't feel like
Speaker 1: guys like I'm going out on dates and I don't
Speaker 1: feel like they be thinking that they can fuck because
Speaker 1: maybe those guys are dating you with intention? Do you
Speaker 1: see what I'm saying? Just you, though there's somebody else
Speaker 1: that they're not dating with attention. You're like, all right now,
Speaker 1: hear it? Like they don't got the right to sit
Speaker 1: on the pussy. I don't know. Goodness, all right, well,
Speaker 1: this is fun. You can't end the damn show like that.
Speaker 1: I got, y'all this girl, crazy man. Listen and listen. Okay,
Speaker 1: let me stop calling you stupid bitch because I don't
Speaker 1: want nobody confuse me. No, No, they don't, girl, they don't.
Speaker 1: I've been reading y'all comments, and I want to reiterate
Speaker 1: this again. Fuck y'all. Anyway, what's up? All right? If
Speaker 1: you enjoyed this episode, tune in every Thursday on the
Speaker 1: iHeart Radio app and wherever the fuck you get your
Speaker 1: podcast at this Joe calls a j holiday two point Oh, y'all,
Speaker 1: it's me Tam. I love y'all. Once again, Remember to
Speaker 1: speak now and never hold your peace. This is