1
00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,040
Speaker 1: You know, I think most people think Jay, everyone else

2
00:00:02,120 --> 00:00:04,720
Speaker 1: is going to die. I'll get around to be unhappy.

3
00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:07,400
Speaker 1: I'll get around my drink, and then it's another day

4
00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:09,960
Speaker 1: and another day, and they keep it in the distance.

5
00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:13,520
Speaker 1: You only understand the power of one day when you're

6
00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:16,040
Speaker 1: threatened with never having another. One the best selling author

7
00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:22,639
Speaker 1: and post the number one healthy wellness podcast. Hey everyone,

8
00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:26,080
Speaker 1: welcome back to Unpurposed, the number one health podcast in

9
00:00:26,120 --> 00:00:28,040
Speaker 1: the world. Thanks to each and every one of you

10
00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:31,800
Speaker 1: that come back every week to become happier, healthier and

11
00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:34,199
Speaker 1: more healed. And actually I need to start saying every

12
00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:35,640
Speaker 1: day because I know so many of you listen to

13
00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:38,760
Speaker 1: episodes every single day. So thank you so much for

14
00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:42,440
Speaker 1: our daily, weekly, monthly, yearly listeners. And I am so

15
00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:45,440
Speaker 1: excited to be talking to you today. I can't believe it.

16
00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:49,040
Speaker 1: My new book Eight Rules of Love is out and

17
00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:52,000
Speaker 1: I cannot wait to share it with you. I am

18
00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:54,960
Speaker 1: so so excited for you to read this book, for

19
00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:57,280
Speaker 1: you to listen to this book. I read the audiobook.

20
00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:59,880
Speaker 1: If you haven't got it already, make sure you go

21
00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:03,600
Speaker 1: to eight Rules of Love dot com. It's dedicated to

22
00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:07,399
Speaker 1: anyone who's trying to find keep or let go of love.

23
00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:10,399
Speaker 1: So if you've got friends that are dating, broken up,

24
00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:13,240
Speaker 1: or struggling with love, make sure you grab this book.

25
00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:15,559
Speaker 1: And I'd love to invite you to come and see

26
00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:19,280
Speaker 1: me for my global tour Love Rules. Go to Ja

27
00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:24,760
Speaker 1: shettytour dot com to learn more information about tickets, VIP experiences,

28
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,360
Speaker 1: and more. I can't wait to see you this year

29
00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:31,240
Speaker 1: and today. I am so excited for this because last

30
00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:34,520
Speaker 1: time he was on the show, you Guys went nuts,

31
00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:37,399
Speaker 1: like the response was unbelievable and I had so much

32
00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:41,120
Speaker 1: phenomenal feedback from this conversation. And today I'm going to

33
00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:43,399
Speaker 1: be talking to you about his new book, which I

34
00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:45,160
Speaker 1: want you to go and grab. It's already sold a

35
00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:48,600
Speaker 1: million copies, so it's tried and tested. This book is

36
00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:52,000
Speaker 1: called The Power of One More, The Ultimate Guide to

37
00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:56,520
Speaker 1: Happiness and Success by the one Only Ed my Let,

38
00:01:56,720 --> 00:01:58,880
Speaker 1: the host of Max Out. Make sure you go and

39
00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:01,400
Speaker 1: read that book as well if you haven't already and

40
00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:03,720
Speaker 1: listened to the podcast. And before we dive in, I

41
00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:06,600
Speaker 1: just want to say about Ed that Ed is one

42
00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:12,440
Speaker 1: of the strongest, toughest and kindest people I know, and

43
00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,960
Speaker 1: I think that balance is just so unique. If you

44
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:17,720
Speaker 1: saw him, you'd be like, this guy's gonna like beat

45
00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:20,440
Speaker 1: me up. But then you get to know his heart

46
00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:23,160
Speaker 1: and you're just like, wow, I didn't know you could

47
00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:26,800
Speaker 1: have both, and you have both. So I'm so you

48
00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:29,680
Speaker 1: have a strong heart too. But I appreciate and I'm

49
00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:31,560
Speaker 1: so excited to talk about this, and I'll tell you why,

50
00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:37,160
Speaker 1: because as I was looking through this, this resonates so

51
00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:42,040
Speaker 1: deeply with someone who's always had to do the power

52
00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:46,359
Speaker 1: of one more and I don't I don't know many

53
00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:49,760
Speaker 1: people who know this. So when I first started, I

54
00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:52,840
Speaker 1: had a video series idea that I was pitching to

55
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:56,240
Speaker 1: lots of top execs and top companies and they all

56
00:02:56,320 --> 00:03:01,240
Speaker 1: said no one cares about meditation mindfulness based content, so rejected.

57
00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:05,840
Speaker 1: Then I ended up pitching to editors in chief and

58
00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:08,480
Speaker 1: I started miss meeting all these people and networking at events,

59
00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:10,440
Speaker 1: trying to get them to notice me and see what

60
00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:13,600
Speaker 1: I could do. And they all said you're too old,

61
00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:18,200
Speaker 1: or you're too young, you're too overqualified, or you're too underqualified.

62
00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:20,320
Speaker 1: There were all of these statements, So then I was

63
00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:23,160
Speaker 1: out there that didn't work. I then ended up at

64
00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:27,320
Speaker 1: an ethnic minority TV training day in the UK and

65
00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:29,079
Speaker 1: they were training. I walked into this room were just

66
00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:31,640
Speaker 1: six brown and black people and they were teaching us

67
00:03:31,639 --> 00:03:34,880
Speaker 1: how to be TV presenters. And I went there to

68
00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:37,480
Speaker 1: just check whether I even had good skills to present,

69
00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:41,040
Speaker 1: because I was starting to doubt myself at the end

70
00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:43,200
Speaker 1: of it. At the end of it, they were like, Jay,

71
00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:44,960
Speaker 1: you've got some many good skills. I was like, awesome,

72
00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:46,920
Speaker 1: Like give me a job, Like, give me anything. I'll

73
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:49,920
Speaker 1: start like fifteen thousand pounds a year. Like I don't care.

74
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:53,640
Speaker 1: They said, Jay, there's no jobs in media. And so

75
00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:54,760
Speaker 1: I was like, well, what do you want me to do?

76
00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:57,400
Speaker 1: And they would like start a YouTube channel and I

77
00:03:57,480 --> 00:03:59,200
Speaker 1: was like, well that works for Justin Lee, but like

78
00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:01,040
Speaker 1: that's like for one billion people, It's not going to

79
00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:04,400
Speaker 1: work for me. And it's really interesting. I read it

80
00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:06,800
Speaker 1: Thomas Edison quote, and this is why this book is

81
00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:09,560
Speaker 1: just this book is this quote I'm about to share

82
00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:11,760
Speaker 1: with you. But with every tactic, with every skill, with

83
00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:14,600
Speaker 1: every tip, quotes are beautiful, books are life changing. Right,

84
00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:18,560
Speaker 1: This quote by Thomas Edison said, when you feel you've

85
00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:25,479
Speaker 1: exhausted all options, remember this you haven't that that's the

86
00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:28,920
Speaker 1: power of one more. And so I have lived this

87
00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:31,920
Speaker 1: book in my life like I have lived this mindset

88
00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:34,560
Speaker 1: and it has changed my life because I've always been

89
00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:38,520
Speaker 1: just one step away, one habit away, one mindset away

90
00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:42,040
Speaker 1: from this amazing life that I'm grateful and blessed to live. Well,

91
00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:44,000
Speaker 1: that's the truth, right, You're right, And I think the

92
00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:47,360
Speaker 1: great lie in life is that I you know, some

93
00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:50,600
Speaker 1: scriptures say, well, where there's no vision, the people will perish.

94
00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:53,240
Speaker 1: Whatever your scriptures are, really, do you have no vision?

95
00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:54,640
Speaker 1: If you ask the average person you want to be

96
00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:56,440
Speaker 1: happy or sad, what's your vision? They'd say I want

97
00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:58,000
Speaker 1: to be happy. You want to be rich or poor?

98
00:04:58,080 --> 00:04:59,560
Speaker 1: Most people say I'd like to be rich. Do you

99
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:02,000
Speaker 1: want to contr tribute or make no difference in the world.

100
00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:04,200
Speaker 1: I want to contribute. Do you want beautiful memories or

101
00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:06,839
Speaker 1: no memories? I want memories. So there's a vision. Our

102
00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:10,720
Speaker 1: issue is depth perception. We think it's further away than

103
00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:13,600
Speaker 1: it is. And because we think it's so far away, Jay,

104
00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:16,839
Speaker 1: we create patterns and behaviors in our life that perpetually

105
00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:19,680
Speaker 1: keep it there. Oh, and that's what we do in

106
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,240
Speaker 1: our life. But what if that's the great lie of life?

107
00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:26,279
Speaker 1: And what if the truth is that you're one relationship away,

108
00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:30,960
Speaker 1: one meeting away, one conversation, one podcast, one interview, one

109
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:34,680
Speaker 1: new thought, one new emotion, one new tactic or strategy

110
00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:39,279
Speaker 1: away from completely changing the trajectory of your life. And

111
00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:41,320
Speaker 1: everyone that you and I know that we both work

112
00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:43,200
Speaker 1: with it were blessed to work with in our lives.

113
00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:46,600
Speaker 1: The truth is it was one decision, one meeting, one

114
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:49,880
Speaker 1: extra rep, one more phone call, one thing they did

115
00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:53,000
Speaker 1: that change their trajectory, and then the question then becomes

116
00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:55,720
Speaker 1: how do I do it? And so the strategies are

117
00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:58,560
Speaker 1: in the book, but conceptually that's one hundred percent how

118
00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:01,080
Speaker 1: you change your life. Yeah, and you're you're so right.

119
00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:04,360
Speaker 1: I was thinking about this this morning. Last year, I

120
00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:08,640
Speaker 1: had a double honeya surgery on the front, so I

121
00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:13,039
Speaker 1: couldn't walk for about a month. And when I second walk,

122
00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:16,080
Speaker 1: I mean like I literally couldn't move. It was like

123
00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:18,080
Speaker 1: I was like I felt like I was teaching myself

124
00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:20,440
Speaker 1: to walk again. Like that's how it felt. It's really

125
00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:23,000
Speaker 1: interesting what you just said about how we perpetually push

126
00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:26,800
Speaker 1: it far away. I would wake up every morning and

127
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:30,159
Speaker 1: my mind, or my initial mindset was like it will

128
00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:32,920
Speaker 1: be gone today. It must have gone today, Like today,

129
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:35,320
Speaker 1: it will be fully healed. I'll be fine today. And

130
00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:39,120
Speaker 1: I would wake up and I wouldn't be and I

131
00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:43,520
Speaker 1: would feel like healing was so far away. Yes, it

132
00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:46,640
Speaker 1: would be like eighty percent away. That I was missing

133
00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:50,080
Speaker 1: out on the one percent change since yesterday. You got it,

134
00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:52,960
Speaker 1: Since yesterday I made one percent change I was. I

135
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:55,400
Speaker 1: wasn't feeling the same pain in my nerves. I was

136
00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:59,000
Speaker 1: able to be flexible by one percent more, and I

137
00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:01,440
Speaker 1: was missing out on all of that because I'm so

138
00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:03,839
Speaker 1: obsessed with how far I was. That's the journey, and

139
00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:07,080
Speaker 1: what happens is when you live with an expectation that

140
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:10,680
Speaker 1: these one mores exist, the reticular activating system in your

141
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:13,520
Speaker 1: mind filters them into your awareness. I call it the

142
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,680
Speaker 1: matrix in the second chapter of the book. When you

143
00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:17,960
Speaker 1: wake up believing, hey, I'm one decision away, I'm one

144
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:21,720
Speaker 1: meeting away, one relationship away, that's not hokey. Your mind

145
00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:25,360
Speaker 1: begins to filter the people, places, and things into your awareness.

146
00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:29,320
Speaker 1: You've developed something called sensory acuity. You hear conversations you

147
00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:31,360
Speaker 1: weren't hearing. We've all had that experience. Work. We're on

148
00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:33,720
Speaker 1: on your point. I can't stop hearing these people over here,

149
00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:35,320
Speaker 1: or you walk in a loud room, but you can

150
00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:38,040
Speaker 1: hear your own name auditorially over all the other names

151
00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:41,360
Speaker 1: in the room. That's because it's important to you, and

152
00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:44,680
Speaker 1: it matters you see things. And so when something becomes

153
00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:47,800
Speaker 1: important to you and you believe it to be true,

154
00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:51,240
Speaker 1: the RAS goes to proving it for you. And where

155
00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:53,120
Speaker 1: I learned this ironical I talk about in the book

156
00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:56,600
Speaker 1: is my father was an alcoholic and had tried to

157
00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:59,200
Speaker 1: get sober many many times, and I'll never forget it. Jay,

158
00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:01,520
Speaker 1: we are driving to baseball game of mine or my

159
00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:04,080
Speaker 1: dad started crying. I'd never seen my dad cry before.

160
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,160
Speaker 1: And he pulls the car over and he still isn't

161
00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:08,960
Speaker 1: looking at me, but he's crying, and he says, Eddie,

162
00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:11,400
Speaker 1: and then he turns to me and he goes, I'm

163
00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:14,560
Speaker 1: gonna try to get sober, and I'll never forget this. Brother.

164
00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:19,960
Speaker 1: He goes one more time, and I said, really, Daddy.

165
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:23,520
Speaker 1: He goes, I'm gonna give it one more try. And

166
00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:25,200
Speaker 1: I said to him, I said, why would this be

167
00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:27,920
Speaker 1: any different this time? And he said, never said this

168
00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:31,280
Speaker 1: to me before he goes. Because I love you and

169
00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:33,440
Speaker 1: you deserve it. Father, You can be proud of and

170
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:35,840
Speaker 1: you can't be proud of me right now. And I

171
00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:38,280
Speaker 1: think every great thing we do in life is one away,

172
00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:42,160
Speaker 1: but it's also born from love. To talk about your book.

173
00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:45,440
Speaker 1: When you love people or you love something so deeply,

174
00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:48,360
Speaker 1: if that love is greater than what the obstacles might be,

175
00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:50,320
Speaker 1: now you've got a shot to do it. Then my

176
00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:53,160
Speaker 1: dad gets sober, he comes home from rehab. I say, Daddy,

177
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:55,880
Speaker 1: are you never gonna drink again? And he said, I

178
00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:58,000
Speaker 1: can't promise you that. I can promise you I'm not

179
00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:00,560
Speaker 1: going to drink for one more day at a time.

180
00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:03,719
Speaker 1: And he lasted the rest of his life stacking those

181
00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,880
Speaker 1: one more days up. And so I know the power

182
00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:08,080
Speaker 1: of one more and jay the other thing. I also

183
00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:11,080
Speaker 1: know humans can change. I watched my hero do it.

184
00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:14,920
Speaker 1: I watched my dad live my first fifteen years. I

185
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:17,120
Speaker 1: saw him in a lot of fights, a lot of

186
00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:19,280
Speaker 1: line a lot of difficult times, and then I saw

187
00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:23,480
Speaker 1: this man transform. And in life, we're most qualified to

188
00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:26,400
Speaker 1: help the person we used to be. And we think

189
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:28,560
Speaker 1: in life, and I hope everybody gets this, we think

190
00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:31,520
Speaker 1: that things were most ashamed of, embarrassed by our divorce,

191
00:09:31,559 --> 00:09:34,000
Speaker 1: our bankruptcy, or maybe We've just always been average in

192
00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:39,000
Speaker 1: ordinary this disqualifies me from being successful and happy. If

193
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,679
Speaker 1: that's not true, What if the hardest things of your

194
00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:44,160
Speaker 1: life are the very things that qualify you. I'll give

195
00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:46,480
Speaker 1: you an example. You know, my dad got sober. Somebody

196
00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:49,080
Speaker 1: helped him. My dad was going to take his life

197
00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:50,800
Speaker 1: or lose his family, and I didn't know who it

198
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,760
Speaker 1: was till months ago, some precious human being whom I

199
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:56,880
Speaker 1: didn't know, and my dad's darkest hour of his life,

200
00:09:56,960 --> 00:10:00,360
Speaker 1: Jay said, I'll help you. I'll help you. Little to

201
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:03,079
Speaker 1: that person know, I'd be his son and I'd help

202
00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:05,160
Speaker 1: millions of people, and I'd be on Jay Setty Show,

203
00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:07,800
Speaker 1: and we both helped millions of people. And the more

204
00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:09,880
Speaker 1: ironic thing that this person helped my dad is what

205
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:13,400
Speaker 1: qualified them to help my dad. They were a drunk,

206
00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:16,480
Speaker 1: they were an alcoholic. They at one time, we're a

207
00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:18,920
Speaker 1: drug addict. They at one time, we're lying and stealing

208
00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:21,240
Speaker 1: and living in the shadows. The very thing that person

209
00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:24,920
Speaker 1: probably figured that disqualifies me from having a successful life

210
00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:28,560
Speaker 1: was the one thing that did qualify them to help

211
00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:30,120
Speaker 1: my dad. So if you're listening to this and you've

212
00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:33,040
Speaker 1: had something you're ashamed of or a failure or a setback,

213
00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:35,600
Speaker 1: you're most qualified to help the people you used to be.

214
00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:38,880
Speaker 1: And that person that alcoholism they suffered with their drug

215
00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:42,520
Speaker 1: addiction helped my dad live those one more days forever.

216
00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:48,000
Speaker 1: That is the best explanation I've heard of how pain

217
00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:51,320
Speaker 1: tends into purpose. Right, the thing that brought you down,

218
00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:54,240
Speaker 1: that broke you down, that made you feel like you

219
00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:58,000
Speaker 1: are losing everything that's right gave you back everything when

220
00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,720
Speaker 1: you use that to save the people that we're struggling

221
00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:03,120
Speaker 1: with it, and then then there's a purpose. And you know,

222
00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:06,200
Speaker 1: if you can survive the temporary pain in your life,

223
00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:08,360
Speaker 1: and all pain is temporary. I watch my father pass

224
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:11,160
Speaker 1: away last year. He was in tremendous pain. Even our

225
00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:14,400
Speaker 1: bodies are only our souls are permanent. If you can

226
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:17,440
Speaker 1: survive the temporary. On the other side of temporary pain,

227
00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:20,800
Speaker 1: you meet another version of yourself, another insight about yourself.

228
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:22,640
Speaker 1: And that's why it's so important to grow as a person,

229
00:11:22,679 --> 00:11:24,439
Speaker 1: because the more we grow and become a new person,

230
00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:26,240
Speaker 1: we can help those that used to be like us.

231
00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:28,160
Speaker 1: And that's why you and I are so addicted to

232
00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:31,080
Speaker 1: growing and learning, and we're curious because if you used

233
00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:33,600
Speaker 1: to be a broken person, and you no longer are

234
00:11:33,679 --> 00:11:35,959
Speaker 1: quite as broken. You can help broken people. If you

235
00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:38,839
Speaker 1: used to be broke financially and you no longer are,

236
00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:41,040
Speaker 1: you can help people. Whatever you do for a living,

237
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:43,080
Speaker 1: at one time you didn't know about it, and now

238
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:45,240
Speaker 1: you do, you can help those who need to know

239
00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:49,040
Speaker 1: about it. And so you're immensely qualified if you understand

240
00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:51,320
Speaker 1: the power of doing one more. Oh, I love it,

241
00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:53,560
Speaker 1: I love it. Tell me about so let's say, and

242
00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:56,200
Speaker 1: you probably come up against this all the time. A

243
00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:58,280
Speaker 1: lot of the people say, Okay, I'm going to practice that.

244
00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:01,080
Speaker 1: I'm with you, Ed, I love you, Jay, I'm listening,

245
00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:03,320
Speaker 1: and I go, yes, I'm going to practice the power

246
00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:06,040
Speaker 1: of one more. Now what I find And this is

247
00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:09,000
Speaker 1: why you're so great at teaching this, because you're not

248
00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:12,760
Speaker 1: teaching it as a gimmicker glitch. You're like a little

249
00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:16,520
Speaker 1: a little affirmation. This is like real, it makes sense,

250
00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:20,520
Speaker 1: like it works. People get so tied to the result

251
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:23,839
Speaker 1: that when they try it the next day and the

252
00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:27,160
Speaker 1: sales meeting doesn't go their way or the pitch doesn't

253
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:29,480
Speaker 1: go their way, they go, oh, it doesn't work, it

254
00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:32,760
Speaker 1: doesn't work. Why didn't it work? And how should we

255
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:35,400
Speaker 1: respond when we fail or get rejected them, well, it

256
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:37,600
Speaker 1: didn't work because you're so attached to the outcome. I

257
00:12:37,679 --> 00:12:39,559
Speaker 1: coach a lot of athletes. I know you do as well.

258
00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:41,440
Speaker 1: And one of the things that's a really nuanced thing

259
00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:43,480
Speaker 1: in life. It's great to have goals. You should have goals.

260
00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:45,240
Speaker 1: I want to do this or that, But in the

261
00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:48,040
Speaker 1: moment of execution, you have to separate from outcome in

262
00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:51,679
Speaker 1: the moment that you're executing and just be present and exist.

263
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:53,679
Speaker 1: I talk about this in the book. Here's what I

264
00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:57,160
Speaker 1: would say if you're gonna win long term. Ninety five

265
00:12:57,280 --> 00:12:59,760
Speaker 1: percent of people have an operating system in their mind.

266
00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:03,880
Speaker 1: They operate out of history and memory. Oh I like that,

267
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:07,240
Speaker 1: And about five percent of humans operate out of vision

268
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:10,040
Speaker 1: and imagination. So the reason we're so much happier, I

269
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:12,480
Speaker 1: believe when we're children is we have no history in memory,

270
00:13:12,679 --> 00:13:16,160
Speaker 1: so we operate of imagination, in dreams and vision. But

271
00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:18,520
Speaker 1: at some age, some people it's five years old, Sum

272
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:21,480
Speaker 1: it's eight, s it's eighteen, Sum it's twenty eight. They

273
00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:25,079
Speaker 1: create a history and that history then becomes the operating system.

274
00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:27,680
Speaker 1: So even if they take on a new behavior or tactic,

275
00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:30,800
Speaker 1: they're operating out of a pattern of thought and belief

276
00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:34,320
Speaker 1: that's historic and memory based. And so the number one

277
00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:36,160
Speaker 1: thing I would say is begin to operate out of

278
00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:39,920
Speaker 1: your imagination again, out of your vision again, create from

279
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:43,400
Speaker 1: that place. If you create from that place, now you're

280
00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:45,520
Speaker 1: not tied to the result in that moment. You're giving

281
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:49,439
Speaker 1: yourself space to imagine and create something new in your

282
00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:52,360
Speaker 1: life that I've never heard that in that language. Man,

283
00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:56,440
Speaker 1: that is so powerful. I you're so right about his kids.

284
00:13:56,440 --> 00:13:58,200
Speaker 1: That we don't have any memory or history, so we

285
00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:00,200
Speaker 1: don't have any blocks, we don't have any min and

286
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:02,280
Speaker 1: begin to listen to the people around you. People say, hey,

287
00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:04,320
Speaker 1: you're the product of who you hang around. How do

288
00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:06,760
Speaker 1: I know if they serve me or not? Here's way

289
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:08,840
Speaker 1: one way to just deduce this, because they could be

290
00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:11,559
Speaker 1: beautiful people who care about you, and they might even

291
00:14:11,679 --> 00:14:14,600
Speaker 1: support you. But when you're with them, what are you

292
00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:16,560
Speaker 1: either of those friends you're with them, you're like you

293
00:14:16,559 --> 00:14:19,800
Speaker 1: remember when you remember you remember, remember that party, remember

294
00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:22,520
Speaker 1: that thing. And if your friends are constantly bringing you

295
00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:26,880
Speaker 1: to the filtration system of memory and history all the time,

296
00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:30,200
Speaker 1: think this through. How often are those friends saying, hey,

297
00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:32,760
Speaker 1: what are you working? On now, where are you going?

298
00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:34,680
Speaker 1: What's your vision? What do you want to create? And

299
00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:37,000
Speaker 1: maybe that sounds hokey, but you and I have some

300
00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:39,200
Speaker 1: of the some of our both our friends have the

301
00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:41,920
Speaker 1: most amazing histories, and you can't get them to talk

302
00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:44,000
Speaker 1: about them. You have to work because what are they

303
00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:46,760
Speaker 1: still doing. They're talking about now and where they're going.

304
00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:50,560
Speaker 1: Their viewpoint in their life is being present and having

305
00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:54,160
Speaker 1: a vision for the future. A formula for misery, a

306
00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:58,040
Speaker 1: formula for lack of creativity. Lack of productivity is constantly

307
00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:01,600
Speaker 1: being history and memory. Even if it's good, it doesn't

308
00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:04,320
Speaker 1: serve us and for most of but it's is not good,

309
00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:07,040
Speaker 1: and we keep living from it or trying to move

310
00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:10,160
Speaker 1: away from it. Create a new future. Don't move away

311
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:14,840
Speaker 1: from the past. Create a brilliant, imaginative, curious, vibrant vision

312
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:17,440
Speaker 1: for your life. Oh I love that. Yeah, we're always

313
00:15:17,560 --> 00:15:21,000
Speaker 1: trying to create the same past, yes, as opposed to

314
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:23,680
Speaker 1: a new future future. And I find that what's really

315
00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:27,760
Speaker 1: interesting about that. All the studies show that nostalgia makes

316
00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:31,680
Speaker 1: us believe that the past was more phenomenal than it

317
00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:34,520
Speaker 1: actually was. If you remember that party you went to

318
00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:37,920
Speaker 1: a college, it's better in your memory than it actually was.

319
00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:40,720
Speaker 1: If you actually could have gone back and remembered how

320
00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:43,160
Speaker 1: you felt hungover and what you broke a bone or

321
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:46,480
Speaker 1: whatever happened. But now in your memory, it's beautiful, beauty. Right,

322
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:49,200
Speaker 1: So our memory also is slightly warped of the past,

323
00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:51,400
Speaker 1: no question. You can make things feel much better or

324
00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:54,800
Speaker 1: much worse sometimes, no question. But what's really coming out

325
00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:58,080
Speaker 1: for me right now is this idea that it's something

326
00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:00,320
Speaker 1: you said a couple of moments ago, and it's a

327
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:04,400
Speaker 1: thought for me. I remember the story that Vanessa Brian

328
00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:07,800
Speaker 1: told about Kobe Bryant after he passed away. I was

329
00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:10,400
Speaker 1: fortunate enough to interview him about three months before it,

330
00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:14,640
Speaker 1: before his tragic passing, and she told this story, and

331
00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:18,680
Speaker 1: she said that Kobe would play through every injury, He

332
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:22,120
Speaker 1: would play through every pain, He would play through everything,

333
00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:24,880
Speaker 1: even when the doctors and his coaches would say stop playing.

334
00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:29,080
Speaker 1: And she asked him, she said, once, why he still plays?

335
00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:33,239
Speaker 1: Right again, going back to our curiosity, it's not assuming

336
00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:37,000
Speaker 1: you know your partner, She asked him, why do you

337
00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:39,320
Speaker 1: still play? And this is just her and him, there's

338
00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:42,160
Speaker 1: no cameras, there's no she's telling this story. But at

339
00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:44,840
Speaker 1: the time it was just them too. He said, it's

340
00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:49,640
Speaker 1: because there's someone who's paid for a ticket today. They

341
00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:53,120
Speaker 1: saved up and this is the only time they're ever

342
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:55,200
Speaker 1: going to be able to calm. Maybe a son's boy,

343
00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:58,040
Speaker 1: maybe a dad's brought his kid, maybe someone's come to

344
00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:01,120
Speaker 1: the game. They're a lifelong fan, and day came today,

345
00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:02,600
Speaker 1: and today is the only day they're gonna get to

346
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:05,320
Speaker 1: see me. And if I say I'm injured, they won't

347
00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:09,480
Speaker 1: get to see me. So I'm gonna play that one

348
00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:11,439
Speaker 1: person he gets to see me play. And then he

349
00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:14,800
Speaker 1: goes and wins yes. And it's like, that's love. That's

350
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:17,280
Speaker 1: that's what you were saying. Love for something is in

351
00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:20,600
Speaker 1: the present moment also, right, Love is not just for

352
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:24,280
Speaker 1: the past. And it's funny how important one day is. Man,

353
00:17:24,359 --> 00:17:27,240
Speaker 1: When my dad got sick, my dad got cancer. When

354
00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:28,960
Speaker 1: he first got sick, he goes, hey, my dad was

355
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:32,480
Speaker 1: a dude. He goes, look, I'll fight this one time. Okay,

356
00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:34,960
Speaker 1: I'll do your little chemo and your surgery, but I'm

357
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,000
Speaker 1: not gonna pour poison into my body. I'm not gonna

358
00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:38,880
Speaker 1: lose my hair, I'm not going to deteriorate. I'll give

359
00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:40,880
Speaker 1: this thing a shot once. If it doesn't work, I'm out.

360
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:45,520
Speaker 1: That led to eight years have been fighting it wow, chemo, radiation,

361
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:49,760
Speaker 1: proton therapy, surgery, surgery, chemo, experimental chemo. And he did

362
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:52,280
Speaker 1: lose his hair and he was in pain. And I'd

363
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,520
Speaker 1: say to my dad. I say, Dad, you're suffering so much.

364
00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:56,840
Speaker 1: He said, you wouldn't suffer. He said, no, Eddie, I'm

365
00:17:56,880 --> 00:18:01,479
Speaker 1: in pain, but I'm not suffering. I choose not to suffer.

366
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:03,800
Speaker 1: And I'm not suffering because I get to see my

367
00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:05,840
Speaker 1: grandkids again. And I am. I just said, Dad, why

368
00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:08,560
Speaker 1: are you doing this? And he said, you only understand

369
00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:12,080
Speaker 1: the power of one day when you're threatened with never

370
00:18:12,119 --> 00:18:16,040
Speaker 1: having another one. I'll do anything for one more day.

371
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:18,879
Speaker 1: Get to be with you one more time, give your

372
00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:20,719
Speaker 1: mom a kiss, one more time. Maybe I'll see one

373
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:23,439
Speaker 1: of my granddaughters get married. And he goes, I'll do

374
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:26,239
Speaker 1: anything for one more day. The beautiful thing is I

375
00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:30,000
Speaker 1: was actually with Kobe a week before he passed away.

376
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:34,959
Speaker 1: We're in the same gym our daughters played volleyball, and ironically,

377
00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:38,480
Speaker 1: that day I watched Kobe walk out of the gym.

378
00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:40,400
Speaker 1: There's only a couple of dads left. It was late

379
00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:43,040
Speaker 1: at night, he stayed and I stayed, and he had

380
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:46,199
Speaker 1: his youngest daughter in his arm, and he was rubbing

381
00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:49,040
Speaker 1: his other daughter's back, and I remember taking note of

382
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:50,919
Speaker 1: it because I was with Belle at the other end

383
00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:53,440
Speaker 1: of the gym, and I remember thinking, I don't hug

384
00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:56,760
Speaker 1: Bella enough. I need to hug No joke, bro, it's

385
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,120
Speaker 1: in the book. I went, I gotta hug Bella one

386
00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:02,119
Speaker 1: more time every day, not just once a day, plus

387
00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:04,400
Speaker 1: one more time every day. My daughter's gonna get extra

388
00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:07,359
Speaker 1: hugs because Kobe does that. What if I could have

389
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:09,680
Speaker 1: said to Kobe when he got in his car, Kobe,

390
00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:15,480
Speaker 1: you have one more week, brother. Tell those to you

391
00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:18,719
Speaker 1: love you, love him, get it right. Whoever matters to you,

392
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:21,280
Speaker 1: make it right. Call your dad, make it right, Call

393
00:19:21,359 --> 00:19:24,640
Speaker 1: your mom, call your family. What if the day before

394
00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:29,000
Speaker 1: you could have said, Kobe, have one day left, and

395
00:19:29,119 --> 00:19:31,080
Speaker 1: my dad same thing. I was with my dad when

396
00:19:31,119 --> 00:19:32,720
Speaker 1: he had one day left. I was with my dad

397
00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:34,679
Speaker 1: when he had one hour left. I was with my

398
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:38,040
Speaker 1: dad when he had one breath left. And when we

399
00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:40,919
Speaker 1: begin to think of our life that way, the power

400
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:43,800
Speaker 1: of right now and having one more moment and one

401
00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:47,560
Speaker 1: more minute is so beautiful. It's so blessed, it's so big,

402
00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:51,800
Speaker 1: it's so amazing. Why would we spend that minute in history?

403
00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:54,800
Speaker 1: Why would we spend that minute in the past when

404
00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:58,000
Speaker 1: we could be fully present in creating a future. And so,

405
00:19:58,359 --> 00:20:00,600
Speaker 1: you know, I think most people think Jay everyone else

406
00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:03,320
Speaker 1: is going to die. I think they just I'm never

407
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:06,120
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna die, or they go, I'll get around

408
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:09,679
Speaker 1: to being happy, I'll get around to making my masterpiece

409
00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:12,040
Speaker 1: of my life. I'll get around to my dreams. I'm

410
00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:15,040
Speaker 1: gonna get around to fixing this relationship that's broken. I'm

411
00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:18,040
Speaker 1: gonna get around to feeling those emotions. And then it's

412
00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:20,760
Speaker 1: another day and another day, and they keep it in

413
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:23,800
Speaker 1: the distance until there are no more days. And I

414
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:25,919
Speaker 1: don't care if you're eighteen years old listening to this,

415
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:29,080
Speaker 1: twenty eight or forty eight. We don't know if we

416
00:20:29,119 --> 00:20:32,000
Speaker 1: have one more day, or one hundred more days, or

417
00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:35,080
Speaker 1: a thousand more days. But we know this, they'll eventually

418
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:37,600
Speaker 1: be a time where we don't have any more days,

419
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,800
Speaker 1: And so why would we spend the ones that are

420
00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:43,240
Speaker 1: coming looking at the past. And so my dad really

421
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:45,560
Speaker 1: taught me those lessons and watching and pass away, And

422
00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:47,080
Speaker 1: that's why I have, So I have a whole thing

423
00:20:47,119 --> 00:20:49,480
Speaker 1: in there of how to get twenty one days a week.

424
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:52,040
Speaker 1: Run many days I get twenty one days a week.

425
00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:55,760
Speaker 1: We still measure time, bro, like it's nineteen Think about

426
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:57,479
Speaker 1: nineteen hundred. If I want to get you a note,

427
00:20:57,520 --> 00:20:59,280
Speaker 1: I have to write a letter out, stick it on

428
00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:02,200
Speaker 1: the back of a versus button. Eighteen fifty thirty days

429
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:04,400
Speaker 1: later you get it. That was a twenty four hour day.

430
00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:06,320
Speaker 1: Now I can text you in two seconds. We measure

431
00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:08,080
Speaker 1: time the same way. So I teach you how to

432
00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:10,200
Speaker 1: change your time so that you can make that day.

433
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:16,560
Speaker 1: It's maximum bliss, it's maximum productivity. What's one more that

434
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:20,000
Speaker 1: you're working on right now? Right now? I'm actually it's

435
00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:21,960
Speaker 1: an interesting season of my life. I have a TV

436
00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:23,879
Speaker 1: show that you know that I did with NBC that's

437
00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:25,760
Speaker 1: called Change that I think is you know, has a

438
00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:28,080
Speaker 1: chance of getting picked up. But my one more that

439
00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:30,800
Speaker 1: I'm working on right now for me and my life

440
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:34,320
Speaker 1: is my peace. And so there's this guy, Ja Shetty

441
00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:37,840
Speaker 1: that's a friend of mine that introduced me and my

442
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:43,280
Speaker 1: family to meditation. And I'm giving myself the gift. I

443
00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:45,000
Speaker 1: don't just do it in the morning now, I've given

444
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,320
Speaker 1: myself the gift of one more time. Every single day

445
00:21:47,359 --> 00:21:50,879
Speaker 1: I'm just emptying my mind and trying to be fully present,

446
00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:52,560
Speaker 1: and it's been worked for me. I've got that busy

447
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:55,639
Speaker 1: type of a mind, but I have found that my

448
00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:59,680
Speaker 1: peace in my life. Most of us JA have all

449
00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:03,240
Speaker 1: these goals of things we want to do, and they're wonderful,

450
00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:05,359
Speaker 1: and I believe in doing that. I think standards are

451
00:22:05,359 --> 00:22:07,480
Speaker 1: more important than goals because and I teach you in

452
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:09,200
Speaker 1: this the book, how to set the standards that'll get

453
00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:11,600
Speaker 1: those goals. But we really don't. But we really don't

454
00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:14,919
Speaker 1: want the jet, we don't want the hit song. We

455
00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:17,960
Speaker 1: don't want the amazing relationship. We don't want the million dollars.

456
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:19,960
Speaker 1: We don't want them. We want how we think it'll

457
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:22,560
Speaker 1: make us feel. And what if we begin to become

458
00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:25,760
Speaker 1: more intentional and outcome rated about the things we feel

459
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:27,720
Speaker 1: in our life. And it took me a while, but

460
00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:30,800
Speaker 1: now that I'm older, when I feel strong, when I

461
00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:34,120
Speaker 1: feel blissful, when I feel peaceful is when I produce

462
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:37,159
Speaker 1: the physical things that I want, not the other way around.

463
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:40,600
Speaker 1: And so my one more's are more emotional focus most

464
00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:42,600
Speaker 1: of us, then I'll come up for areer have an

465
00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:45,600
Speaker 1: emotional home. There's three or four or five emotions we

466
00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:47,800
Speaker 1: experience on a regular basis. I write about it in

467
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:50,479
Speaker 1: the book, and no matter what happens, we find a way,

468
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:52,480
Speaker 1: even if they don't serve us to get those emotions.

469
00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:56,800
Speaker 1: If your emotional home is fear, anxiety, worry, depression, anger,

470
00:22:57,119 --> 00:23:00,000
Speaker 1: you find a way every week to get that emotion.

471
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:03,119
Speaker 1: But what if that emotional home could become bliss and

472
00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:08,880
Speaker 1: peace and joy and creativity and ecstasy. And so I'm

473
00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:11,479
Speaker 1: working on one more beautiful emotion for my emotional home,

474
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:13,680
Speaker 1: and for me, it's peace. I love that. I love

475
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:16,080
Speaker 1: that answer, man, It's it's good to hear about what

476
00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:17,680
Speaker 1: you've been saying. That we're not living in the past

477
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:19,880
Speaker 1: and you're like in the present. But to have you

478
00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:23,920
Speaker 1: answered that question that peace is your presence, like that's

479
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:26,359
Speaker 1: what you're looking for, Like that's that's the present. And

480
00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:28,960
Speaker 1: it shows that you're using this like it works. You're

481
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:30,840
Speaker 1: doing it time and time again. And I love what

482
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:33,840
Speaker 1: you said. It moves from the physical things into the subtle,

483
00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:38,080
Speaker 1: into the emotional, into the deeper. I think that's so profound.

484
00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:41,199
Speaker 1: What was that one more that if you didn't do it,

485
00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:43,440
Speaker 1: you wouldn't be here today. What was what was one

486
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:46,119
Speaker 1: of those ones that like, ah, like that was the

487
00:23:46,119 --> 00:23:49,000
Speaker 1: one that convinced me, apart from obviously your father that

488
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:51,199
Speaker 1: you were like ah, If I didn't do that, wouldn't

489
00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:53,640
Speaker 1: be at my let today, I wouldn't be maxed out life. First,

490
00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:55,840
Speaker 1: the first business I belt was a financial business, and

491
00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:58,359
Speaker 1: I had had some success, Jay, like a lot of

492
00:23:58,359 --> 00:24:02,280
Speaker 1: people do in life. And then backwards and sometimes when

493
00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:04,399
Speaker 1: you get up the flagpole just a little bit and

494
00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:07,120
Speaker 1: you come back down, that's an emotional difficulty. It could

495
00:24:07,119 --> 00:24:09,400
Speaker 1: be a relationship that was good that's gone, or maybe

496
00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:11,080
Speaker 1: it's saved some money it's gone. Maybe I lost a

497
00:24:11,119 --> 00:24:12,760
Speaker 1: bunch of weight and got fit and you gained it back.

498
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:15,440
Speaker 1: For me, it was my business, and I called my dad.

499
00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:17,600
Speaker 1: It was a pretty wise guy now that he was sober.

500
00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:20,360
Speaker 1: And because I could tell you, man, I'd do one

501
00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:22,119
Speaker 1: more rep in the gym. I haven't done ten reps

502
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:24,200
Speaker 1: on a bench press in thirty years. I've done ten

503
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:26,320
Speaker 1: plus one more a lot though I haven't done forty

504
00:24:26,359 --> 00:24:28,160
Speaker 1: five minutes on a treadmill, but I've done forty five

505
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:31,520
Speaker 1: plus one more minute, ten contacts a day, never ten

506
00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:33,920
Speaker 1: plus one more. But the biggest one more was actually

507
00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:37,080
Speaker 1: something else. I called my dad and I said, hey, Dad,

508
00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:41,239
Speaker 1: it's not gone. It's the business is crashing and I'm

509
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:43,480
Speaker 1: running out of money. Our power was turned off, our

510
00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:46,600
Speaker 1: water was turned off. Jay I had to take my

511
00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:49,720
Speaker 1: wife every morning. We'd lost our house. We're living in

512
00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:51,840
Speaker 1: an apartment now. Then the water got turned off. You

513
00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:56,040
Speaker 1: can't cook, you can't bathe. There was an apartment building.

514
00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:59,239
Speaker 1: We had an outdoor shower at the swimming pool, and

515
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:01,239
Speaker 1: I'd have to wear newlyweds and I'd have to get

516
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:03,000
Speaker 1: up every morning, walk down there, and I'd hold a

517
00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:05,400
Speaker 1: towel up. Well. My wife took her shower every day

518
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:08,679
Speaker 1: outdoors and brush your teeth, and then she'd switch and

519
00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:11,240
Speaker 1: hold the towel up for me, and I'd walk back

520
00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:15,400
Speaker 1: up to the apartment. And I was so emasculated, so ashamed,

521
00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:22,320
Speaker 1: so embarrassed, and I was living a nightmare, selling a

522
00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:24,639
Speaker 1: dream to everybody. Every day. We can do this, A

523
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:27,240
Speaker 1: lot of entrepreneurs or people can relate in their life.

524
00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:31,120
Speaker 1: And anyway, I called my dad that night and I said,

525
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:34,240
Speaker 1: I think I need to pack it in. I need

526
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:37,240
Speaker 1: to go get a job and just I'm this success

527
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:41,280
Speaker 1: thing is it's not for people like us. And my

528
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:43,560
Speaker 1: dad goes, Eddie, you don't have to decide you're never

529
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:47,640
Speaker 1: gonna quit, he goes, Just don't quit for one more day.

530
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:51,280
Speaker 1: See how you feel tomorrow. I go, Dad, he goes,

531
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:53,359
Speaker 1: just don't do it for one more day. And I

532
00:25:53,359 --> 00:25:54,880
Speaker 1: got the next day and I still wanted to quit,

533
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:57,480
Speaker 1: but not quite as much. And then I went one

534
00:25:57,480 --> 00:25:59,080
Speaker 1: more day and one more day, and I found myself

535
00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:01,360
Speaker 1: about thirty days late, I didn't want to quit anymore.

536
00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:03,600
Speaker 1: And thank god, the one more I did was I

537
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:06,199
Speaker 1: went one more day without quitting, and I'm so grateful

538
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:09,359
Speaker 1: I didn't quit on my dream. Oh wow, that is like,

539
00:26:10,119 --> 00:26:13,520
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, man, like you just everything you're just

540
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:16,080
Speaker 1: dropping right now. I'm just like, I hope everyone is

541
00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:18,680
Speaker 1: taking notes if you haven't been taking notes. And when

542
00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:20,680
Speaker 1: you take a screen shot right now of where we're

543
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:22,199
Speaker 1: at right now, because that's what you're gonna have to

544
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:24,440
Speaker 1: listen to again to take a screenshot share it. Tell

545
00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:26,840
Speaker 1: everyone to go to this segment, listen to that over again,

546
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:29,680
Speaker 1: because I think what I'm hearing you know, is that

547
00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:32,440
Speaker 1: this is this is a lifestyle like This is a mindset.

548
00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:36,240
Speaker 1: It's a lifestyle. Let's every day, every moment way to live.

549
00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:40,000
Speaker 1: This isn't just in the big business you're building. This

550
00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:43,040
Speaker 1: is me telling my wife I love her one more time.

551
00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:46,040
Speaker 1: This is me making sure I message my mom one

552
00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:49,119
Speaker 1: more time. It's me making sure that when I'm sitting

553
00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:51,359
Speaker 1: here with you, I'm always gonna have to ask you

554
00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:54,560
Speaker 1: one more question. You keep giving so much, No, but

555
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:56,560
Speaker 1: you keep giving. Well, that's what you just said, it

556
00:26:56,560 --> 00:26:59,680
Speaker 1: would never end. I think people feel like they try

557
00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:03,639
Speaker 1: to lot and then they start building up resentment and

558
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:09,000
Speaker 1: like pain and bitterness towards that path. And a lot

559
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:12,760
Speaker 1: of people also that I know, they just think that

560
00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:15,119
Speaker 1: there are some people that are meant to be. I

561
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:17,520
Speaker 1: agree with this, and then there are some people that

562
00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:20,679
Speaker 1: are not meant to be, and they carried that with

563
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:23,199
Speaker 1: them and it comes from this like oh, yeah, you

564
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:26,119
Speaker 1: were meant to be this or that person was meant

565
00:27:26,119 --> 00:27:28,119
Speaker 1: to have it. But for me, this is where and

566
00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:29,560
Speaker 1: I heard that kind of come up in what you

567
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:31,480
Speaker 1: were saying to your dad, like it doesn't happen to

568
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:34,680
Speaker 1: people like us. How does this rule? How does this

569
00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:37,720
Speaker 1: principle apply to someone who's in the best question. Ever,

570
00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:40,720
Speaker 1: because I grew up with no we have an alcoholic

571
00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:42,800
Speaker 1: dad or a drug addict, or maybe you come from divorce,

572
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:45,080
Speaker 1: or maybe your parents just didn't love you enough. Whatever

573
00:27:45,119 --> 00:27:47,560
Speaker 1: it was, didn't tell you they loved you enough. It's

574
00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:49,680
Speaker 1: hard to have self confidence. I was a little guy.

575
00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:53,359
Speaker 1: I got bullied in school and I just and even

576
00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:57,360
Speaker 1: at this age now, bro, I, if I'm being completely honest,

577
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:02,080
Speaker 1: self confidence. We all teach that it's part of keeping

578
00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:04,240
Speaker 1: the promises you make to yourself. But if you raise

579
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:06,479
Speaker 1: the standard a little higher, you keep the promises you

580
00:28:06,480 --> 00:28:10,280
Speaker 1: make to yourself plus one more. Because for me, self

581
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:13,600
Speaker 1: confidence didn't come easy. I think in life ultimately going

582
00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:15,840
Speaker 1: to get what you believe you deserve, and if you're

583
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:19,160
Speaker 1: wound up wired like me, I didn't think I deserved

584
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:21,480
Speaker 1: a lot. I didn't even have a dad who could

585
00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:25,680
Speaker 1: stop drinking, right. I wasn't six foot four, I don't

586
00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:29,840
Speaker 1: have an incredibly high IQ. There's nothing really that impressive

587
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:32,720
Speaker 1: about me, nor were people very impressed with me most

588
00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:35,960
Speaker 1: of my life. So that was my pattern, that was

589
00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:39,160
Speaker 1: my history, that was my memory. And so the only

590
00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:42,360
Speaker 1: I could wait around until I developed tremendous self confidence,

591
00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:46,120
Speaker 1: or I could begin to do things every day that

592
00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:49,400
Speaker 1: we're small, they're not major. And over time, when I

593
00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:51,720
Speaker 1: did those one more calls, that one more meeting, that

594
00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:55,080
Speaker 1: one more book, I read that one more podcast. Not

595
00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:57,160
Speaker 1: only am I doing more reps, so the likelihood of

596
00:28:57,160 --> 00:28:59,880
Speaker 1: me being successful is bigger. But I started to convince

597
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:03,160
Speaker 1: myself I'm doing things other people aren't willing to do.

598
00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:06,320
Speaker 1: Maybe I deserve things other people aren't going to get.

599
00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:10,360
Speaker 1: And slowly, but surely, I started to convince myself I

600
00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:13,280
Speaker 1: did deserve it based on what I was doing, not

601
00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:16,520
Speaker 1: necessarily the caliber of my talent. Yeah, yeah, that was

602
00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:19,080
Speaker 1: the difference. Yeah. You just there's a thought I've been

603
00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:24,640
Speaker 1: having recently, and it's that comfort creates self care, but

604
00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:30,080
Speaker 1: discomfort creates self respect, right Like, it's what you're saying,

605
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:34,720
Speaker 1: that the one more discomfort every day, that's where self

606
00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:38,120
Speaker 1: respect comes from. Yes you don't great terms, Yeah you don't.

607
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:40,920
Speaker 1: You don't start to trust yourself or build self esteem

608
00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:44,080
Speaker 1: or believe in yourself because you just say it to yourself,

609
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:46,560
Speaker 1: it's coming. What you just said you got, Then take

610
00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:48,520
Speaker 1: one more meeting and see what you learn. You got.

611
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:51,920
Speaker 1: Don't take one more risk, one more discomfort, and I

612
00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:54,959
Speaker 1: guarantee you if you have a successful or happy friend, whichever,

613
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:57,240
Speaker 1: how you would determine that, and you ask them this,

614
00:29:57,600 --> 00:29:59,600
Speaker 1: they'd tell you that that we're right. Yeah, they would

615
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:02,800
Speaker 1: tell you, gosh, that's right, it's right. And the difference

616
00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:06,600
Speaker 1: between winning and losing, happiness and sadness is so small

617
00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:09,560
Speaker 1: it's almost it's almost scary to talk about. But the

618
00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:11,040
Speaker 1: good news is, I think I kind of know what

619
00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:13,600
Speaker 1: it is, and it's this one more. Absolutely, the people

620
00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:16,360
Speaker 1: that I know that are the most successful and happy

621
00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:21,320
Speaker 1: have more uncomfortable conversations, They have more uncomfortable days, they

622
00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:26,040
Speaker 1: have more discomfort in their lives, but selected discomfort. But

623
00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:28,880
Speaker 1: one of the other things that I'm asking from now,

624
00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:30,719
Speaker 1: I'm like going into like the people that I know

625
00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:34,360
Speaker 1: that I'm thinking about and see their faces, and I

626
00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:36,880
Speaker 1: want them to know that I'm asking for them. A

627
00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:40,360
Speaker 1: lot of the time, one more in the wrong direction.

628
00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:49,760
Speaker 1: It's right, can also be really misguiding sometimes people. And

629
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:51,800
Speaker 1: I know you're a person of faith too, and so

630
00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:54,479
Speaker 1: so we can touch on this. Sometimes we're climbing the

631
00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:58,240
Speaker 1: mountain and we keep doing one more, but we're actually

632
00:30:58,280 --> 00:31:01,720
Speaker 1: going further away from who we are, who we want

633
00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:05,480
Speaker 1: to be our faith partners. Right, We've we know people

634
00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:09,840
Speaker 1: who've built multi billion dollar companies but lost their kids

635
00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:13,920
Speaker 1: it's right. Or they've become famous and rich, but they've

636
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:16,840
Speaker 1: they've partner cheated on them, you know, like reading a

637
00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:18,840
Speaker 1: lot of those stuff, and you know people who didn't

638
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:21,480
Speaker 1: do all of that. That's happened too. It's it's both ways.

639
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:25,000
Speaker 1: How does one use one more and make sure it's

640
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:27,720
Speaker 1: in the right direction. That's a great question. I'm doing

641
00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:29,880
Speaker 1: this now regularly because I've made some of those mistakes

642
00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:32,000
Speaker 1: of just and what I do is I check in

643
00:31:32,040 --> 00:31:35,960
Speaker 1: with myself one more time, Meaning it's important to ask

644
00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:39,440
Speaker 1: yourself what matters to me now. See if you we

645
00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:42,360
Speaker 1: had this conversation twenty years ago, the things that mattered

646
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:45,160
Speaker 1: to me then are so different than what mattered to

647
00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:47,800
Speaker 1: me now. But a lot of us keep operating out

648
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:51,560
Speaker 1: of what used to Maybe you've achieved or pursuing a dream,

649
00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:55,040
Speaker 1: and it's really truly no longer your dream. It's no

650
00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:58,120
Speaker 1: longer your dream. It's when I was young listening, We're

651
00:31:58,160 --> 00:31:59,800
Speaker 1: gonna do a podcast, you say, hey, I need you

652
00:31:59,840 --> 00:32:02,000
Speaker 1: on the show. People are gonna love you. You're gonna

653
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:05,240
Speaker 1: get recognition, you're gonna get, You're gonna get all this acknowledgement.

654
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:08,000
Speaker 1: And that would have been my hot button, my need.

655
00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:09,959
Speaker 1: You know, I believe in the six human needs. My

656
00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:14,280
Speaker 1: need was significance and recognition. And there's nothing wrong with that.

657
00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:17,880
Speaker 1: It's wonderful. And so that's the button to get me

658
00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:21,320
Speaker 1: to move, would be significance recognition. Well, I've been blessed

659
00:32:21,360 --> 00:32:23,240
Speaker 1: the last thirty years or so of my life to

660
00:32:23,280 --> 00:32:27,160
Speaker 1: have a beautiful abundance of significance and recognition. It's no

661
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:30,560
Speaker 1: longer what fills me. Now you get me to do

662
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:32,840
Speaker 1: an interview, you go, hey, I really think we could

663
00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:35,560
Speaker 1: help some people. My big button in my life now

664
00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:38,160
Speaker 1: is contribution. There was another stage in my life. It's

665
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:40,400
Speaker 1: still there, but hey, if you go there, you'll grow.

666
00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:43,400
Speaker 1: I still want to grow, but I know me now

667
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:47,320
Speaker 1: right now, I'm in a season of my life that's contribution.

668
00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:50,560
Speaker 1: It's giving, it's what fills my heart. And I think

669
00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:52,720
Speaker 1: it's checking in with yourself one more time. What matters

670
00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:55,520
Speaker 1: to me? Now? What do I want? Now? What's important

671
00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:58,520
Speaker 1: to me? Now? What season? Maybe you're in a season

672
00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:01,840
Speaker 1: where you need to rest. Maybe your spirit and everything

673
00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:05,080
Speaker 1: about you's telling you, Hey, it's time to feed you again,

674
00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:08,480
Speaker 1: it's time to recharge. If that's the season, then answer

675
00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:11,120
Speaker 1: that call. Don't play out of a past playbook. And

676
00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:13,400
Speaker 1: so for me, that's the season I'm in now. And

677
00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:15,960
Speaker 1: I'm sure that in five or eight more years, you know,

678
00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:18,800
Speaker 1: there'll be something else. But I regularly on a monthly basis.

679
00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:20,640
Speaker 1: You recommend it in your book so beautifully about your

680
00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:24,000
Speaker 1: relationship checking in. You have these strategies you teach about

681
00:33:24,160 --> 00:33:27,719
Speaker 1: weekly and monthly and quarterly and yearly with your partner

682
00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:30,520
Speaker 1: of checking in with them. I also recommend you check

683
00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:33,160
Speaker 1: in with yourself and what matters to you now. And

684
00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:34,920
Speaker 1: so for me, it's a matter of checking in now

685
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:37,440
Speaker 1: so that I don't lose my family in the pursuit

686
00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:41,200
Speaker 1: of my business or lose mey lose me? Who am

687
00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:45,080
Speaker 1: I anymore? And I've had times or I'm like, this

688
00:33:45,160 --> 00:33:48,120
Speaker 1: doesn't feel like me anymore. Yeah, And I had to

689
00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:51,160
Speaker 1: at least the ability to at least acknowledge that make

690
00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:53,240
Speaker 1: a change. Yeah. And I love that you've brought up

691
00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:57,280
Speaker 1: seasons because I feel like no one and on planet

692
00:33:57,320 --> 00:33:59,840
Speaker 1: Earth we don't have the power to change the season.

693
00:34:00,440 --> 00:34:03,040
Speaker 1: But you have the power to live this season. Well,

694
00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:05,520
Speaker 1: that's right. You can either be in the right now.

695
00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:08,440
Speaker 1: It's been raining right wherever we are, it's been like

696
00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:10,680
Speaker 1: pouring down with rain. There's all this effort. You could

697
00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:13,160
Speaker 1: carry an umbrella. Whether you can tell how I'm dressed,

698
00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:15,600
Speaker 1: I'm definitely not dressed in my usual gear because I'm

699
00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:18,319
Speaker 1: dressed with the rain. I'm prepared because that's all I

700
00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:20,799
Speaker 1: can do. I can't make the rain switch off. I

701
00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:23,879
Speaker 1: can't stop it right like, I can't do that. And

702
00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:26,319
Speaker 1: so I love hearing that you're just learning how to

703
00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:29,160
Speaker 1: thrive in the season. And so if your season's telling

704
00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:32,440
Speaker 1: you to rest, you can't force the season, and you

705
00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:34,960
Speaker 1: have to live it through. You have to experience you do.

706
00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:36,600
Speaker 1: I think you have to remember one thing, man. I

707
00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:38,440
Speaker 1: think it's as easy as a person to forget this.

708
00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:40,160
Speaker 1: And I just would love to say this, because you

709
00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:43,600
Speaker 1: have such an amazing reach, each of you, you and

710
00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:46,880
Speaker 1: I included. We were born to do something great with

711
00:34:46,920 --> 00:34:50,279
Speaker 1: our life. We were born to do something great with

712
00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:52,399
Speaker 1: our life. And it's important to check in from time

713
00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:55,440
Speaker 1: to time of what the current great thing is and

714
00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:58,000
Speaker 1: me and sometimes we think it's the big things. It's

715
00:34:58,000 --> 00:34:59,719
Speaker 1: the people that are on both their shows they've made

716
00:34:59,719 --> 00:35:01,719
Speaker 1: this big movie, they've got this big song, they're this

717
00:35:01,760 --> 00:35:04,839
Speaker 1: big thing. What you know, who's greater the man who

718
00:35:04,880 --> 00:35:07,759
Speaker 1: helped my dad gets sober, or the fact that maybe

719
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:10,520
Speaker 1: I've helped some people because my dad got sober, that

720
00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:14,840
Speaker 1: one act was greatness in his life, that kind moment

721
00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:17,359
Speaker 1: with another person that says I can help you, let

722
00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:21,120
Speaker 1: me connect with you. And so don't discount your own greatness,

723
00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:23,680
Speaker 1: your own call to do something great. And it doesn't

724
00:35:23,719 --> 00:35:26,399
Speaker 1: have to be a script or a play or a

725
00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:30,160
Speaker 1: book or a speech or on social media. It's just

726
00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:34,160
Speaker 1: doing something great. And you matter. I don't mean this hokey.

727
00:35:34,239 --> 00:35:36,839
Speaker 1: I'm telling you the truth about you. You matter. You

728
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:40,719
Speaker 1: were born to do something awesome with your life. Your

729
00:35:40,719 --> 00:35:43,400
Speaker 1: family is supposed to do something great as a family.

730
00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:46,680
Speaker 1: And maybe it's just checking in and reminding yourself of

731
00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:49,600
Speaker 1: that and then asking yourself, what is that thing right

732
00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:52,480
Speaker 1: now in my life? And so I just think that

733
00:35:52,520 --> 00:35:55,319
Speaker 1: reminder is so important that you know, it's great to

734
00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:59,480
Speaker 1: voyeuristically look in on successful people or what we think

735
00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:03,040
Speaker 1: or people. It's also important of the camera turn back

736
00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:07,799
Speaker 1: on you and go you matter. You matter, and that's

737
00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:11,160
Speaker 1: probably the most important thing we'd say today, Oh gosh, man. Yeah.

738
00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:14,520
Speaker 1: And you know one thing you just clarified beautifully is

739
00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:19,000
Speaker 1: that great doesn't have to be big, and big doesn't

740
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:22,160
Speaker 1: mean great, right, And I think we're so obsessed today

741
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:25,279
Speaker 1: we are in that to do something great, it has

742
00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:27,839
Speaker 1: to be big, it has to be bold. You know,

743
00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:31,560
Speaker 1: when I think about myself honestly, and I can say

744
00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:34,440
Speaker 1: this to you because I think I think in these

745
00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:36,799
Speaker 1: sessions and when we spend time together, you've heard my heart.

746
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:40,799
Speaker 1: I was one of those people who actually never believed

747
00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:42,759
Speaker 1: I could do any of this stuff I've done. I

748
00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:45,239
Speaker 1: never set out when I started and I was like, oh,

749
00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:48,359
Speaker 1: one day I'm gonna be I didn't have any of that.

750
00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:51,319
Speaker 1: That's not how I'm wired. I was wired in like,

751
00:36:51,719 --> 00:36:54,600
Speaker 1: I want to serve. I'm want to serve whoever comes,

752
00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:58,080
Speaker 1: whether it's five people, ten people, I'm happy, I'll serve them.

753
00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:02,000
Speaker 1: And as I started to do that, I got more confidence. Okay,

754
00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:04,560
Speaker 1: now I want to serve larger groups. Okay, let me

755
00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:07,040
Speaker 1: serve them. And then it was like, and I never

756
00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:10,239
Speaker 1: believed to any point that there were these arbitrary abstract

757
00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:13,359
Speaker 1: goals of like number one, this, like those one. How

758
00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:16,560
Speaker 1: I set out. And so when I'm listening to you speak,

759
00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:20,360
Speaker 1: I hope someone's out there thinking Jay, I'm like jan Ed,

760
00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:23,200
Speaker 1: I'm like you guys where it's like I don't vibe

761
00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:26,640
Speaker 1: with all that like like motivation this, Like I just

762
00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:28,839
Speaker 1: vibe with the fact that I want to have a

763
00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:32,879
Speaker 1: great impact, like the person that helped your father. Yeah,

764
00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:34,719
Speaker 1: and you know what we've both found in our life too.

765
00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:38,280
Speaker 1: Just to give you insight from someone called me seasoned today,

766
00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:41,600
Speaker 1: you know this is that you know, the universe or

767
00:37:41,640 --> 00:37:44,239
Speaker 1: God really prepares you to step into the next room

768
00:37:44,239 --> 00:37:46,560
Speaker 1: when you step in with some faith. And so maybe

769
00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:48,600
Speaker 1: it does start with five or six people, and maybe

770
00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:51,960
Speaker 1: that's enough. But perhaps in that space you're in, there'll

771
00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:54,359
Speaker 1: be a little door open and if you step into

772
00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:56,839
Speaker 1: that one, you'll you'll find I think we think I

773
00:37:56,840 --> 00:37:59,480
Speaker 1: have to have it all figured out. Wosni acts a

774
00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:01,560
Speaker 1: good buddy. I'm mine who started Apple. They didn't they

775
00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:03,799
Speaker 1: were a board company, they didn't really be doing this.

776
00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:07,279
Speaker 1: Someday they stepped into the next space. And one thing

777
00:38:07,320 --> 00:38:09,719
Speaker 1: I think we also want is an immediate result. And

778
00:38:09,719 --> 00:38:11,640
Speaker 1: I talked about this in the book. Maybe be the

779
00:38:11,719 --> 00:38:14,080
Speaker 1: last little thing I'll share with you. But I went

780
00:38:14,160 --> 00:38:16,120
Speaker 1: to a birthday party as I was writing the book,

781
00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:20,000
Speaker 1: and it was for a young boy and they had

782
00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:23,160
Speaker 1: a pinata. They've all been to, especially Louie, California, you

783
00:38:23,239 --> 00:38:24,719
Speaker 1: have the pinata. And so what they did is they

784
00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:28,279
Speaker 1: took each of these little guys and they blindfolded him

785
00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:30,239
Speaker 1: and spun them around. And they're all dizzy and they're

786
00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:32,760
Speaker 1: swinging and they're not even near the pinata. That's life.

787
00:38:32,840 --> 00:38:34,120
Speaker 1: A lot of times you feel like, man, I'm blinking,

788
00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:36,000
Speaker 1: I don't even know where I'm swinging right now, but

789
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:39,799
Speaker 1: I'm swinging. And so each kid hit the pinata and

790
00:38:40,040 --> 00:38:42,759
Speaker 1: the candy didn't come out, and so they take the

791
00:38:42,760 --> 00:38:45,080
Speaker 1: blindfold off. That kid got tired. The next little boy

792
00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:47,040
Speaker 1: came up, spun him around, So like seven of them

793
00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:50,080
Speaker 1: hit this pinada. No candy came out. The last boy,

794
00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:52,799
Speaker 1: the smallest boy, the youngest boy there, they filled the

795
00:38:52,880 --> 00:38:55,080
Speaker 1: blindfold on him. They spent him around. He swinging too.

796
00:38:55,160 --> 00:38:57,920
Speaker 1: That's life, you just sort of swinging, right. They finally

797
00:38:57,960 --> 00:39:01,719
Speaker 1: pointed him at the pinada. He hits the panada just once. Bam,

798
00:39:02,280 --> 00:39:05,000
Speaker 1: all the candy comes and all the kids jump on

799
00:39:05,080 --> 00:39:09,160
Speaker 1: and celebrate, and I'm watching that, and I'm going now,

800
00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:13,000
Speaker 1: who broke the pinyada? Was it the last shot or

801
00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:15,760
Speaker 1: was it the cumulative blows of each of the shots

802
00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:17,600
Speaker 1: on the pinyada? Well we all know the answer. It

803
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:20,520
Speaker 1: was the cumulative shots. Life's a lot like that, man,

804
00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:24,160
Speaker 1: that we're taking shots, but we don't see any physical progress.

805
00:39:24,440 --> 00:39:29,120
Speaker 1: But everyone more we're doing is calm pound pounding progress.

806
00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:31,640
Speaker 1: And in life you have to be willing to buy

807
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:37,239
Speaker 1: into what is invisible progress. Most people quit on their dream,

808
00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:41,040
Speaker 1: quit on their vision before the candy comes out. And

809
00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:43,640
Speaker 1: what you and I didn't do was quit. We just

810
00:39:43,760 --> 00:39:47,160
Speaker 1: kept swinging and eventually the candy comes out. The candy

811
00:39:47,160 --> 00:39:50,440
Speaker 1: could be your bliss, your joy, your financial success, your notoriety,

812
00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:54,360
Speaker 1: your contribution. But most people are hitting the pinyada of

813
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:57,759
Speaker 1: their life and there's no evidence that's working. But the

814
00:39:57,800 --> 00:40:00,480
Speaker 1: truth is there's a calm pound pounding of effect in

815
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:04,839
Speaker 1: life that if you keep hitting your life's pinata, if

816
00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:08,319
Speaker 1: you'll stick around, there'll be some candy come out. The

817
00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:11,680
Speaker 1: power of one more everyone ed my Let go and

818
00:40:11,760 --> 00:40:13,600
Speaker 1: grab this book if you haven't already, it's going to

819
00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:14,960
Speaker 1: be a life change. I mean, I mean, you can

820
00:40:15,040 --> 00:40:17,920
Speaker 1: just feel the energy coming off this human being. Honestly,

821
00:40:18,520 --> 00:40:20,480
Speaker 1: I wanted to go read this book. I want to

822
00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:23,120
Speaker 1: go listen to the podcast if you don't already. The

823
00:40:23,200 --> 00:40:25,200
Speaker 1: first book was called max Out Your Life as well.

824
00:40:25,239 --> 00:40:29,839
Speaker 1: The max Out podcast ed you are just I mean,

825
00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:32,279
Speaker 1: your energy is infectious. I don't know how anyone can't

826
00:40:32,320 --> 00:40:34,520
Speaker 1: listen to you, read from you, hear from you, and

827
00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:36,200
Speaker 1: not feel like they need to change their life. Like

828
00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:38,040
Speaker 1: You've just given me a list of number ones that

829
00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:40,719
Speaker 1: I'm going to do one more. I hope that you

830
00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:42,520
Speaker 1: keep coming back on the show. I hope that we

831
00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:46,520
Speaker 1: keep getting to connect offline. I hope that we get

832
00:40:46,560 --> 00:40:49,439
Speaker 1: to you know, keep spending one more day, one more

833
00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:52,080
Speaker 1: phone call, one more time together. Because so grateful for

834
00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:54,799
Speaker 1: your love. Really grateful man. Thank you so much. Thank you.

835
00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:56,680
Speaker 1: Everyone grabbed the copy of the book. I'll put it

836
00:40:56,719 --> 00:40:58,400
Speaker 1: in the link. I'll put it in the comment section

837
00:40:58,400 --> 00:41:02,360
Speaker 1: in the caption the Power of One More. This is

838
00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:08,279
Speaker 1: the book was good. That was good. If you love

839
00:41:08,360 --> 00:41:12,680
Speaker 1: this episode, you'll love my interview with Kobe Bryant on

840
00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:16,360
Speaker 1: how to be strategic and obsessive to find your purpose