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Speaker 1: Hello everybody, and welcome back to the Psychology of Your Twenties,

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Speaker 1: the podcast where we talk through some of the big

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Speaker 1: life changes and transitions of our twenties and what they

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Speaker 1: mean for our psychology. Hello everybody, Welcome back to the show.

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Speaker 1: Welcome back to the podcast. New listeners, old listeners. Wherever

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Speaker 1: you are in the world, you know the deal. It

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Speaker 1: is very great to have you here. Back for another

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Speaker 1: episode as we dive into the psychology of our twenties. Today,

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Speaker 1: we're going to talk about something a little bit different.

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Speaker 1: I think Normally on this show we love to take

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Speaker 1: a specific topic and dive into all of the studies,

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Speaker 1: dive into all of the of course science behind it.

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Speaker 1: But we're going to step back for today's episode and

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Speaker 1: just look at the lives that we are creating from

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Speaker 1: a holistic point of view, and the ways in which

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Speaker 1: we can actually design a life that we truly love

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Speaker 1: based on of course, like some of those core propositions

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Speaker 1: and core theories to do with what makes us happy,

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Speaker 1: what makes us satisfied, what it actually means to enjoy

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Speaker 1: life from a psychological perspective, I think a big worry

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Speaker 1: for a lot of us in our twenties and me.

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Speaker 1: Included is this kind of lingering question of how do

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Speaker 1: I get the most out of my life. How do

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Speaker 1: I ensure that when the time comes and I'm on

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Speaker 1: my deathbed, there's nothing left to do, there's nothing left

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Speaker 1: to say that I can look back and be like, well,

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Speaker 1: you know, wow, I had a really great life, not

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Speaker 1: just that I had a life that I really loved.

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Speaker 1: I think that very existential questioning of feeling like we

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Speaker 1: have to make a lot of decisions right now to

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Speaker 1: set ourselves up for future happiness can keep us up

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Speaker 1: at night. You know, we want to feel in control.

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Speaker 1: We want to feel like we have some say in

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Speaker 1: choosing what we want from these you know, seventy to

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Speaker 1: eighty odd years that we get if we're lucky. And

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Speaker 1: I think more than that general just sense of purpose

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Speaker 1: and general sense of satisfaction, we also want that daily enjoyment.

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Speaker 1: We want to wake up and be excited by the

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Speaker 1: lives that we are creating, but also the lives that

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Speaker 1: we are currently living. I think it's one of the

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Speaker 1: best feelings in the world when you go to sleep

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Speaker 1: at night and just feel grateful. You feel grateful for

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Speaker 1: your friends, you feel grateful for where you're at in

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Speaker 1: your career. You feel grateful for all the joy and

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Speaker 1: the happiness that you're experiencing and bringing. So how do

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Speaker 1: we make that a reality. I think it's, you know,

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Speaker 1: one of those big conundrums where at some stage you're

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Speaker 1: going to reach a turning point and realize that what

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Speaker 1: you've been doing so far might not actually create a

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Speaker 1: future that you're really excited about, especially during this decade

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Speaker 1: when we feel like we are on the cusp of

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Speaker 1: a lot of huge life decisions, but also kind of

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Speaker 1: at a crosswords where we're trying to make the best

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Speaker 1: choice for us that's going to set us up for

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Speaker 1: long term happiness. I want to take some of the

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Speaker 1: pressure off. I want to take some of the pressure

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Speaker 1: off from feeling like there is a singular decision that

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Speaker 1: is going to make you happy in the future, a

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Speaker 1: singular decision that is going to allow you to build

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Speaker 1: a life that you love and focus on those core

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Speaker 1: principles and five kind of practical things that you can

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Speaker 1: do that regardless regardless of what's going on around you,

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Speaker 1: regardless of what the world throws at you, regardless of

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Speaker 1: your choices, you can still be happy. You can still

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Speaker 1: feel contentment, and I don't think it's going to be

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Speaker 1: necessarily easy. I'm not going to sit here and be like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you know, just follow these five simple steps, you'll be

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Speaker 1: done in thirty minutes. Like obviously, not anything worth having.

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Speaker 1: I think comes with hard work, it comes with self reflection,

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Speaker 1: it comes with dedication. But the person that you are

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Speaker 1: investing in is yourself. That's what I really want to

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Speaker 1: remind you, Like, this is your best investment, best investment ever,

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Speaker 1: is to set yourself up for a beautiful life. To

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Speaker 1: set yourself up for a life that you love. So

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Speaker 1: let's talk through it today. I'm super excited for this episode,

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Speaker 1: and I think if you're listening, hopefully you're excited as well.

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Speaker 1: When we begin this process of essentially designing our lives

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Speaker 1: and designing our futures, we cannot go into this transformation

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Speaker 1: from a place of blindness. You know. We actually need

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Speaker 1: to identify those crucial points where we are dissatisfied, where

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Speaker 1: we are perhaps getting ourselves into a rut, Like what

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Speaker 1: is actually the problem here that is causing us to

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Speaker 1: want to take action? I think we tend to get

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Speaker 1: stuck in the life that is easiest for us, the

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Speaker 1: life that is convenient and comfortable, even though it's maybe

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Speaker 1: not what we truly want. I think this is because

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Speaker 1: as humans, we naturally crave our creature comforts and you know,

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Speaker 1: what seems familiar. We are innately scared of situations, events,

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Speaker 1: choices that are going to disrupt the norm. It also

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Speaker 1: might be that we don't necessarily feel like we have

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Speaker 1: the tools that are necessary to redesign our life because

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Speaker 1: we have become so stagnant and stuck in our patterns

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Speaker 1: and stuck in our daily routine. We've kind of reached

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Speaker 1: this point where we've stopped believing in our agency and

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Speaker 1: in our self efficacy, which is essentially our sense of

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Speaker 1: feeling in control of our decisions and our future. That

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Speaker 1: is a really hard pattern to break out of, and

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Speaker 1: before we can build a life we love, I think

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Speaker 1: we actually have to deconstruct the one that we have.

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Speaker 1: And even if you are at like a seven or

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Speaker 1: an eight, or even a nine out of ten on

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Speaker 1: like life satisfaction, it's still possible to really raise that

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Speaker 1: ceiling for what you want and what you expect. So

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Speaker 1: this first tip, this entire approach of deconstructing the life

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Speaker 1: you have, really relies on choosing courage over comfort, and

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Speaker 1: challenging what you have come to expect from life by

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Speaker 1: identifying where maybe certain events and experiences are not contributing

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Speaker 1: to your expectations and shaping your life around that potential,

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Speaker 1: that potential for improvement. So what we need to look

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Speaker 1: at in general is kind of the four biggest areas

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Speaker 1: of life where we feel the most dissatisfaction. We have

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Speaker 1: money and career, of course, we have our relationships. We

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Speaker 1: have our health, which includes mental health. And then this

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Speaker 1: final one which I think we don't often discuss, which

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Speaker 1: is values and spirituality. And I'm including that last one

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Speaker 1: because I think it is a facet of our mental

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Speaker 1: and psychological well being that we often neglect. It's very hard, though,

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Speaker 1: to feel like you are building this life that you

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Speaker 1: love when you don't actually believe in anything, when you

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Speaker 1: have nothing to put your faith in, and that doesn't

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Speaker 1: necessarily have to do with religion. I think values are

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Speaker 1: equally as important, but more than that, a sense that

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Speaker 1: you have a mission and a purpose in life. That

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Speaker 1: could be a mission to improve the lives of others,

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Speaker 1: a mission to create something beautiful, to solve some problem

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Speaker 1: that we see. I think we all need something that

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Speaker 1: we're passionate about and something that drives us. It is

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Speaker 1: very hard to even feel like you want to change

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Speaker 1: your life if there's no direction for that. You know,

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Speaker 1: the other areas are pretty self explanatory. I think we

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Speaker 1: all know what it means to be dissatisfied in it

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Speaker 1: in a job or in a relationship, or dissatisfied with

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Speaker 1: our health. You know who doesn't worry about those things

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Speaker 1: at least once a week or even daily, You know,

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Speaker 1: because they are truly a foundation for a happy life.

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Speaker 1: The easiest way, though, to identify what your main source

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Speaker 1: of dissatisfaction is is to actually follow the stress, to

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Speaker 1: notice where you carry the most stress. What do you

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Speaker 1: think about the most when your thoughts are wondering, or

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Speaker 1: when you're falling asleep and all the busyness of the

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Speaker 1: day has kind of ceased. What are you left thinking

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Speaker 1: about in those moments? Is it? You know? I wish

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Speaker 1: I didn't have to go to work tomorrow. I wish

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Speaker 1: that I was doing something I was genuinely excited to do.

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Speaker 1: I wish I had more friends. I wish I felt

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Speaker 1: more like myself in my own skin. Our anxiety and

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Speaker 1: worries might seem really scary and really frustrating, and we

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Speaker 1: might choose to avoid them because of the discomfort that

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Speaker 1: they bring. However, I think that is the biggest mistake

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Speaker 1: we make is and that the reason why is because

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Speaker 1: these worries, these fears. Firstly, when we ignore them, we

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Speaker 1: know that suppression inevitably will lead to these fears just

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Speaker 1: gaining more power over us because we are avoiding them.

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Speaker 1: But when it comes to building a life we love,

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Speaker 1: those worries are your best friend because they are shining

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Speaker 1: a bright neon flashing light exactly where you should be

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Speaker 1: starting where there is the most room for improvement. So

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Speaker 1: maybe you're at this point where I going to use

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Speaker 1: that example of like you're super dissatisfied with your career.

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Speaker 1: That's a really big one for a lot of us.

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Speaker 1: It's not fulfilling, you're bored, you're annoyed at your coworkers.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes the reason why we continue to stay in those

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Speaker 1: situations in a life we don't love is because we

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Speaker 1: don't know what it means to pursue a different kind

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Speaker 1: of future, and we are scared of what that future

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Speaker 1: might look like, that it might be worse if the

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Speaker 1: life you have found yourself in is not the life

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Speaker 1: that you love. You really have a duty to question

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Speaker 1: not only what needs to change and in what area,

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Speaker 1: but what the potential outcome of a change might be.

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Speaker 1: So I'm gonna explain this a little bit further. There

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Speaker 1: is an incredible book actually on this topic, and it

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Speaker 1: is literally called Designing Your Life. It's written by two

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Speaker 1: Stanford professors. There's also a Ted talk about it that

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Speaker 1: I really recommend, and they talk about this exercise called

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Speaker 1: the Odyssey plan. So the time between like our twenties

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Speaker 1: and our thirties is what they call our odyssey years,

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Speaker 1: like our years of exploration, where we are in this

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Speaker 1: strange vacuum between childhood and what we see is real adulthood.

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Speaker 1: And during this time it is absolutely necessary to test

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Speaker 1: in your mind different life paths or ideas about your future.

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Speaker 1: A lot of the time, though, the way we are

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Speaker 1: told to approach this is super limiting, you know. So

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Speaker 1: we're always told to think about our five year plan,

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Speaker 1: or what do you want to be when you grow up?

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Speaker 1: Or what are you going to do next? What are

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Speaker 1: you going to do after graduation, after high school? After

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Speaker 1: this job contract ends That way of approaching the future

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Speaker 1: doesn't actually allow us to be creative because it suggests

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Speaker 1: that there is one answer. But the idea behind this

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Speaker 1: Odyssey plan exercise is to think a bit broader and

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Speaker 1: to come up with three different plans or versions of

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Speaker 1: your future life by asking yourself three questions. If your

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Speaker 1: life was to continue the way it was, what would

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Speaker 1: a day in five years time look like? Go into

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Speaker 1: as much detail as possible. We've talked about this before.

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Speaker 1: But what are you eating for breakfast? Who are you

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Speaker 1: living with, where are you living? What does your day

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Speaker 1: look like? What do you do for fun? Imagine that

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Speaker 1: situation five years from now. Nothing changes now, think about

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Speaker 1: what happens if this plan that you're currently living out

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Speaker 1: doesn't work. What would you want from your life instead?

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Speaker 1: And what would a day in your life in five

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Speaker 1: years time look like? Then? If this plan a of

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Speaker 1: this current routine doesn't work out, what would you choose instead?

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Speaker 1: Would it be any different? Are you maybe picturing yourself

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Speaker 1: happier or more fulfilled? And finally, what would a day

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Speaker 1: in your life look like in five years time? If money, time,

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Speaker 1: and social expectations did not matter, if you could do

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Speaker 1: exactly what you wanted, how do you feel then, So

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Speaker 1: I think the last question always gets people in a

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Speaker 1: bit of a tizzy because they're like, well, you know,

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Speaker 1: money and time and social expectations do matter. Of course

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Speaker 1: they do, of course they matter. They are so limiting,

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Speaker 1: very limiting. And it's not to say that you need

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Speaker 1: to picture this ideal life and live it out. It's

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Speaker 1: more so being like, if if you take away all

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Speaker 1: of these external factors that control our happiness, what is

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Speaker 1: the core of your idea of a happy life when

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Speaker 1: none of these things matter. And it's really interesting to

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Speaker 1: see how this exercise changes the older you get. So

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Speaker 1: for example, when I first did this exercise a few

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Speaker 1: years back, I was twenty and I was, oh, my gosh,

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Speaker 1: I think I was still working in hospitality. I must

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Speaker 1: have been. I was still working in hospitality. And you

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Speaker 1: know what, if I was still working in hospitality now,

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Speaker 1: I think I would be miserable my year, you know,

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Speaker 1: day in a life five years from back then would

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Speaker 1: not be a life that I necessarily want. Now. My

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Speaker 1: backup plan was I'm going to go into consulting, which

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Speaker 1: I did actually end up doing. And you know what,

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Speaker 1: that life was really amazing for some time. But when

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Speaker 1: I really thought about it, and I started contemplating that

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Speaker 1: fine idea of a life where you are not constrained

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Speaker 1: by money, time, social expectations. I got a better idea

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Speaker 1: of what I really wanted to do, and that was

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Speaker 1: to do something where I was creative, where I was

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Speaker 1: my own boss, and where I lived according to that

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Speaker 1: mission that we were talking about before. So this multiverse exercise,

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Speaker 1: I think the real power and significance in it is

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Speaker 1: that it allows you to recognize what life has to offer,

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Speaker 1: and it allows you to not be scared when things

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Speaker 1: don't go according to plan and embrace the courage of

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Speaker 1: change and practical change things that you are going to change. So,

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Speaker 1: after deconstructing your life and identifying where you aren't dissatisfied

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Speaker 1: and how that might need to change in the next

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Speaker 1: five years, what it could look like, you need to

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Speaker 1: start prototyping and testing those different versions of the future

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Speaker 1: to start with, choose one area that you can improve

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Speaker 1: where you will se the most growth. So, for example,

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Speaker 1: we've talked about the career one quite a bit, but

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Speaker 1: health is another really big element of this, and often

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Speaker 1: it is a huge source of dissatisfaction for us. We

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Speaker 1: don't like how we feel in our bodies. We don't

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Speaker 1: like how we're treating ourselves. We don't like X, Y

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Speaker 1: and z. That is holding you back from a happy

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Speaker 1: life and is your duty to change it. So instead

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Speaker 1: of going in and being like, oh or nothing, I'm

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Speaker 1: going to become like the fittest version of myself. I'm

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Speaker 1: going to be so healthy. I'm never going to have

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Speaker 1: a depressed or anxious thought ever. Instead, what you want

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Speaker 1: to do is spend just fifteen minutes a day working

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Speaker 1: on that area of your life in a positive direction,

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Speaker 1: whether it is exercising for fifteen minutes, building your resume

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Speaker 1: for fifteen minutes, or finding a passion project that you

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Speaker 1: do every day fifteen minutes that contributes to future career opportunities,

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Speaker 1: fifteen minutes of texting back all your friends or giving

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Speaker 1: them a call, building that community. That little change is

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Speaker 1: going to go a long way. I think the reason

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Speaker 1: why is twofold. Firstly, when we think about like creating

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Speaker 1: our dream life, often we do think about this big

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Speaker 1: future right that's like twenty years down the line, and

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Speaker 1: that is so daunting, And when we just think about

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Speaker 1: the outcome, it is so big in our minds and

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Speaker 1: we want to get there so fast. We're such impatient

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Speaker 1: creatures that we forget that we actually have to be

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Speaker 1: acting on our dreams and goals. Your dream life might

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Speaker 1: involve a really nice terrorist in a big city. Sadly,

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Speaker 1: that's not going to happen overnight, but it will happen

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Speaker 1: if you take fifteen minutes a day to educate yourself

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Speaker 1: on investing or to go over your spending. If you

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Speaker 1: want to one day write a book that you get

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Speaker 1: a hold in your hands and say, you know, I

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Speaker 1: wrote this book. I wrote every word. That doesn't happen

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Speaker 1: from wishful thinking. It happens from writing for just fifteen

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Speaker 1: minutes every day. And the fifteen minute rule really helps

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Speaker 1: us overcome our all or nothing thinking that keeps us

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Speaker 1: in a place where we are scared of even starting.

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Speaker 1: I think this fear of starting comes from a few things.

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Speaker 1: The biggest one to me is perfectionism. I talk about

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Speaker 1: this quite a bit, this idea of perfectionism procrastination. If

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Speaker 1: we aren't completely sure that our plan is going to work,

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Speaker 1: that our future is going to be perfect, why start?

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Speaker 1: Why even begin? Because we are so held back by

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Speaker 1: this sense that if it's not exactly what I want

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Speaker 1: Why should I put in the effort. Why should I

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Speaker 1: face the possibility of failing, the possibility of setting my

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Speaker 1: sights really high and not be able to reach them

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Speaker 1: and being disappointed. So that's one of the first reasons

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Speaker 1: is when we want to create our dream life, when

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Speaker 1: we want to change something really significant, it's very daunting

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Speaker 1: because there's a lot of room for failure. And the

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Speaker 1: other thing is to do with analysis paralysis. Something that

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Speaker 1: I really like to talk about is choice overload. This

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Speaker 1: idea that there is a lot of different choices for

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Speaker 1: people like you and I in our twenties, and often

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Speaker 1: we think that having a lot of choice brings about

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Speaker 1: a lot of freedom, brings about a lot of options.

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Speaker 1: It actually does the opposite. It creates this thing called

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Speaker 1: analysis paralysis, where because there are so many paths that

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Speaker 1: we can take into our future lives, because there are

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Speaker 1: so many different things that we want to do. We

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Speaker 1: want to travel, we want the career, we want to

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Speaker 1: settle down, we want to go and pursue acting or

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Speaker 1: whatever it is. Because there are so many different dreams

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Speaker 1: that we hold at one time, it is so hard

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Speaker 1: to choose one. So we don't choose any of them

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Speaker 1: at all that means that not only do we not create,

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Speaker 1: we just don't end up creating any life that we

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Speaker 1: love because it's so much easier, like I said, to

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Speaker 1: just stay in the place where we're comfortable. We don't

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Speaker 1: have to challenge ourselves. We don't have to potentially go

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Speaker 1: through mentally and emotionally unco comfortable experiences such as failure.

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Speaker 1: But I think the fifteen minute rule allows us to

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Speaker 1: get comfortable with the risk, and get comfortable with some

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Speaker 1: of the discipline that we need, and slowly see improvements

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Speaker 1: such that when the time comes that we might have

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Speaker 1: to make a big change, we already feel prepared. And

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Speaker 1: my mom used to always have this saying, shout out

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Speaker 1: to my mum, she's amazing, very wise woman. And you

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Speaker 1: know what, it probably isn't even her saying, but I'm

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Speaker 1: going to give her credit for it, but she is

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Speaker 1: to always say the easiest things aren't always worth having

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Speaker 1: because if everyone could have it, they would. And when

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Speaker 1: you think about fifteen minutes, fifteen minutes to devote to

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Speaker 1: just something that you really want in your life that's

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Speaker 1: really going to improve your life, the majority of people

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Speaker 1: don't take that time at all. You also discover that

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Speaker 1: with each of these these days, that you continue to

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Speaker 1: do something that you love and do something that's good

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Speaker 1: for you, what you're actually going to find is what

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Speaker 1: you really want in life. So I'm going to explain

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Speaker 1: that a little bit. When we set our sides and

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Speaker 1: me saying Okay, I want to do this thing for

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Speaker 1: fifteen minutes, say for example, that's writing, When we begin

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Speaker 1: to notice that that fifteen minute starts turning into an

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Speaker 1: hour or even more, you realize that you're doing it

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Speaker 1: because it's something that you love and it's become part

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Speaker 1: of your lifestyle. Creating the life you love is not

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Speaker 1: about huge, massive decisions that are going to completely like

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Speaker 1: move you to a whole new spectrum of life, and

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Speaker 1: they're not going to completely change your path in the moment.

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Speaker 1: It's also about building up good habits towards the practices

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Speaker 1: and the future that you want to build over time.

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Speaker 1: So we've spoken a lot about the planning phase and

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Speaker 1: what we can contribute to our lives through those small moments,

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Speaker 1: and you know that is really amazing to have vision,

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Speaker 1: But we equally need to identify the things that don't

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Speaker 1: make us happy. I think improving your life isn't always

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Speaker 1: about addition. Sometimes it's about subtraction as well, and I

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Speaker 1: think that's something that the self help space sometimes misses.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's always a new lifestyle plan or a

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Speaker 1: new trending exercise, or a book or a product, or

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Speaker 1: more relationships or more healthy foods or more whatever. But

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Speaker 1: sometimes we actually need to be in the space and

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Speaker 1: the mindset of removal. We kind of need to, you know,

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Speaker 1: Marie Condor our lives and the habits that are holding

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Speaker 1: us back. It's hard to fully love the life that

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Speaker 1: you are creating when you are beholden to a nasty friendship,

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Speaker 1: or you are eating food that makes you feel unwell

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Speaker 1: all the time, or you have a routine that leaves

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Speaker 1: you bored and miserable and unable to wake up in

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Speaker 1: the morning, or a job that is completely draining you.

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Speaker 1: There is nothing that you can continue to add to

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Speaker 1: your life that is ever going to replace the things

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Speaker 1: that continue to drain your energy. And there's a quote

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Speaker 1: I saw the other day that I think really puts

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Speaker 1: this quite well, which is your new life is going

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Speaker 1: to cost to your old one, and that includes those

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Speaker 1: habits that hold us back that we might might make

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Speaker 1: us happy in the moment, or which are too difficult

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Speaker 1: to address, but in the long term end up acting

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Speaker 1: as almost a form of self sabotage. I have an

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Speaker 1: example of this for you. It's around drinking. And if

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Speaker 1: you listen to an episode I did a while back

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Speaker 1: around Should You Quit Drinking in your twenties, you'll know

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Speaker 1: a bit about this story. But for the longest time,

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Speaker 1: I had a really bad relationship with alcohol. I think

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Speaker 1: that I grew up really wanting to be cool and

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Speaker 1: really wanting to fit in, and also being kind of

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Speaker 1: socially anxious and alcohol. When I entered UNI, and even

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Speaker 1: like post grad life, alcohol is like the most amazing

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Speaker 1: social lubricant, and it makes everything feel more fun and

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Speaker 1: more free, and it's just such an easy way to

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Speaker 1: socialize with people. I began to realize though, that actually

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Speaker 1: alcohol was the one of the big things that was

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Speaker 1: almost acting to undermine the life that I wanted. Every

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Speaker 1: time I would drink, I would always I didn't really

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Speaker 1: know when to stop, if that makes sense. I didn't

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Speaker 1: really know what it was like to not drink every day,

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Speaker 1: and I would always kind of find a way to

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Speaker 1: kind of do that. And what ended up happening. Was

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Speaker 1: I was always completely you know, physically drained. I didn't

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Speaker 1: feel healthy. I didn't always have a hangover, but when

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Speaker 1: I did, it really like wasn't great. I couldn't be productive.

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Speaker 1: And I think that that's a great example of almost

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Speaker 1: like addition by subtraction, your life improving by removing things

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Speaker 1: that you might feel completely reliant on but which are

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Speaker 1: actually causing you a lot of long term suffering. And

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Speaker 1: it's about identifying what's a driving you to keep those

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Speaker 1: things in your life even when they're at the expense

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Speaker 1: of your future self. Is it peer pressure, is loneliness,

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Speaker 1: is it dependence? Those things all take away our ability

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Speaker 1: to control our lives and kind of be the director,

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Speaker 1: you know, like we want to be the writer, the producer,

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Speaker 1: the director of our lives. We want to be in control,

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Speaker 1: not our impulses, not our cravings, not our fixations, not

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Speaker 1: our bad relationships. So I think cutting things out obviously

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Speaker 1: takes a lot of focus. The thing that a lot

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Speaker 1: of us make, I think the biggest mistake a lot

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Speaker 1: of us make is that we just want to try

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Speaker 1: and transform every domain of our life at once, and

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Speaker 1: we want to just do a whole big cleanse. Instead,

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Speaker 1: I want you to think about the one thing that

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Speaker 1: is holding you back right now, only one, and focus

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Speaker 1: on that put your energy into removing that from your life.

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Speaker 1: I always like to imagine the kind of final hero story,

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Speaker 1: if that makes sense, what it will feel like to

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Speaker 1: tell someone one in six months, in a year, and

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Speaker 1: five years what that journey was like for me, Like, Wow,

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Speaker 1: that was a really hard decision, but I'm glad that

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Speaker 1: I did it. I can tell you that I did

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Speaker 1: this from the point of hindsight, being in a space

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Speaker 1: where that thing is no longer in my life. You know,

435
00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:18,199
Speaker 1: I'm so glad that I quit vaping when I was

436
00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:20,119
Speaker 1: twenty five, and not at forty. I'm so glad I

437
00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:22,879
Speaker 1: decided to stop drinking every night. I'm so glad that

438
00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:25,159
Speaker 1: I realized at twenty three that that person was not

439
00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:27,560
Speaker 1: good for me, and not at thirty when I had

440
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:30,720
Speaker 1: seven years to act. And all along these things were

441
00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:34,640
Speaker 1: actually keeping me from being truly fulfilled by a life

442
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:37,320
Speaker 1: that is my own. So we're going to take a

443
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:40,159
Speaker 1: quick break now, but when we return, I want to

444
00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:43,040
Speaker 1: talk about a few more kind of joyous habits and

445
00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:46,000
Speaker 1: practices that I think we all need to apply when

446
00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:48,080
Speaker 1: designing a life that we don't just love but we

447
00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:51,960
Speaker 1: absolutely and truly adore. So will we be back after

448
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:59,760
Speaker 1: this short break? I don't know who needs a reminder

449
00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:02,600
Speaker 1: of But life is meant to be really, really fun,

450
00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:06,240
Speaker 1: and there are meant to be really amazing moments, And

451
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:11,280
Speaker 1: it's okay and totally amazing to be excited by things

452
00:26:11,359 --> 00:26:16,600
Speaker 1: and to be pursuing happiness and pursuing joy and pursuing

453
00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:20,399
Speaker 1: nostalgia and like ecstasy and like all the good and

454
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:25,600
Speaker 1: happy feelings. Sometimes I think we forget that in kind

455
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:29,639
Speaker 1: of the structures of daily living, and particularly in a

456
00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:35,200
Speaker 1: world that really focuses on material possessions and material wealth.

457
00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:38,399
Speaker 1: But if you've listened to this podcast for a while,

458
00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:44,280
Speaker 1: you will know that joy is such an important emotion

459
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:48,320
Speaker 1: and such an important emotion for creating a life that

460
00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:51,440
Speaker 1: you love is putting joy at the center of what

461
00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:55,439
Speaker 1: you choose to do. We overlook this feeling in so

462
00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:59,560
Speaker 1: many conversations, and sometimes we overlook it for things like love,

463
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:02,879
Speaker 1: and we are look for things like happiness. But joy

464
00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:07,199
Speaker 1: is so much more delicate and beautiful and easy to

465
00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:10,119
Speaker 1: kind of cure and easy to find. I think it's

466
00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:12,600
Speaker 1: also something that is so immaterial and yet such a

467
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:16,680
Speaker 1: key ingredient to happiness and life satisfaction. I've actually been

468
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:18,960
Speaker 1: looking into this a lot recently, and we're seeing so

469
00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:22,760
Speaker 1: much evidence for the power of joy coming out of

470
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:27,000
Speaker 1: a bunch of really huge research institutions like Harvard and Stanford,

471
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:30,040
Speaker 1: all of them saying that more than money, more than fame,

472
00:27:30,520 --> 00:27:34,399
Speaker 1: more than success, more than even good genes, joy is

473
00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:37,040
Speaker 1: one of the most powerful factors in what determines a

474
00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:41,320
Speaker 1: good life. One of the longest longitudinal studies ever conducted

475
00:27:41,359 --> 00:27:45,480
Speaker 1: in the history of modern psychology and modern medicine focused

476
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:48,560
Speaker 1: on what made a good life. They recruited two hundred

477
00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:51,960
Speaker 1: and sixty eight sophomores from Harvard back in the nineteen thirties,

478
00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:55,840
Speaker 1: and they followed them for eighty years, and then they

479
00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:59,560
Speaker 1: also followed their children, and these days only nineteen of

480
00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:02,399
Speaker 1: the origine n two hundred and sixty eight are alive.

481
00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:06,879
Speaker 1: But by tracking these individuals for essentially their whole lives,

482
00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:11,239
Speaker 1: so you're able to see exactly what determined longevity and

483
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:15,120
Speaker 1: happiness and health into those later decades. And what they

484
00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:19,200
Speaker 1: found was amazing. They showed how protective healthy relationships are

485
00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:23,680
Speaker 1: for our health. How important empathy is, and also optimism,

486
00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:27,200
Speaker 1: and how things like joy and looking for good things

487
00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:29,480
Speaker 1: in your life even when they're not there and hard

488
00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:32,800
Speaker 1: to find, keeps you mentally sharp. It keeps you curious,

489
00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:36,600
Speaker 1: it keeps you excited. We are often really hard at

490
00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:38,800
Speaker 1: work designing our dream life that it means that we

491
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:42,880
Speaker 1: sacrifice daily enjoyment. We get really focused on being productive

492
00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:45,560
Speaker 1: and working hard, and that negates a lot of the

493
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:49,600
Speaker 1: significant beauty that we'll find in small, silent moments. So

494
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:54,040
Speaker 1: I want you to create joy for yourself and every day,

495
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:56,440
Speaker 1: I want you to find three things that make you think,

496
00:28:56,680 --> 00:28:58,560
Speaker 1: oh my god, it's really amazing that I get to

497
00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:02,560
Speaker 1: be alive. Is just so beautiful and special and human

498
00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:06,040
Speaker 1: and whatever. It is. The example i'd love to give

499
00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:08,960
Speaker 1: is this time that really sticks in my memory when

500
00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:12,000
Speaker 1: I was coming home from back when I worked my

501
00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:14,960
Speaker 1: nine to five when I was a consultant, and it

502
00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:17,120
Speaker 1: was really late at night. I was so exhausted. I'd

503
00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:21,360
Speaker 1: been working so hard those few months. And there was

504
00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:24,720
Speaker 1: this little girl on the train and she had this

505
00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:30,080
Speaker 1: big brown leaf and she was just twirling it and

506
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:32,840
Speaker 1: patting it and petting it, and I was like, that

507
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:35,760
Speaker 1: is the most joyous, beautiful thing is looking as like

508
00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:39,640
Speaker 1: observing someone else's acknowledgment of like beauty and observing someone

509
00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:43,680
Speaker 1: else's curiosity. And when I started looking for that joy

510
00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:47,200
Speaker 1: more often, my life did get better because in that

511
00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:51,200
Speaker 1: joy is also opportunity, right there's opportunity for adventure, There's

512
00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:55,440
Speaker 1: opportunity to just have a better outlook about the state

513
00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:57,440
Speaker 1: of the world, as hard as that is right now,

514
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:00,640
Speaker 1: and especially when it seems hard to find. Search for

515
00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:04,400
Speaker 1: those joyful moments, search for those three things during every

516
00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:06,720
Speaker 1: day that make you be like, okay, like this is

517
00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:09,080
Speaker 1: truly a blessing. I'm really happy to be here, and

518
00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:10,680
Speaker 1: I'm going to make the most out of this, and

519
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:14,200
Speaker 1: I'm going to just actually enjoy my life because that's

520
00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:16,280
Speaker 1: what I'm here to do, I think, or up to

521
00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:19,680
Speaker 1: my fourth tip now, yeah, my fourth tip, and that

522
00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:22,280
Speaker 1: is to take time to actually be an interesting person

523
00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:24,920
Speaker 1: and not just about being interests, not just about being

524
00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:29,760
Speaker 1: interesting to other people, but being interesting to yourself. I

525
00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:31,960
Speaker 1: think we all know the experience of talking to someone

526
00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:36,320
Speaker 1: and feeling like our life is one dimensional in comparison

527
00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:40,360
Speaker 1: to theirs, and I think, especially in this generation, we

528
00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:44,520
Speaker 1: spend a lot of time doing things that don't necessarily

529
00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:50,840
Speaker 1: contribute to long term happiness or really anything that good.

530
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:53,320
Speaker 1: The one that I always think about is like scrolling

531
00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:57,280
Speaker 1: on our phones and just like spending hours and hours

532
00:30:57,320 --> 00:31:00,600
Speaker 1: on TikTok or Instagram or I don't know, do people

533
00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:03,680
Speaker 1: use Facebook. I don't use Facebook, but Facebook, there you go,

534
00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:08,640
Speaker 1: Twitter x whatever it is. Those kind of activities have

535
00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:11,280
Speaker 1: begun to surpass a lot of the activities that previous

536
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:15,480
Speaker 1: generations were involved in, you know, reading and being outdoors.

537
00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:18,480
Speaker 1: And not to say that there is like some form

538
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:21,640
Speaker 1: of elitism there, but I do think that when you

539
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:25,720
Speaker 1: are getting lost in your phone constantly and getting pulled

540
00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:28,719
Speaker 1: in by that dopamine, it is not going to last,

541
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:31,640
Speaker 1: and it is not going to contribute to making you

542
00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:36,000
Speaker 1: someone who was interested in the world or interesting. One

543
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:38,640
Speaker 1: way that I really put this into perspective for myself

544
00:31:39,640 --> 00:31:43,760
Speaker 1: was thinking about if I could remember the last five

545
00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:47,640
Speaker 1: Instagram posts or tiktoks that I watched, or the last

546
00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:50,960
Speaker 1: five or at least tell myself five things that I

547
00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:53,400
Speaker 1: saw on one of those apps in the past twenty

548
00:31:53,400 --> 00:31:56,120
Speaker 1: four hours, and I could never remember a single one

549
00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:59,240
Speaker 1: of them. I could not remember it. And I realized

550
00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:03,240
Speaker 1: that every part of my brain that I wanted for myself,

551
00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:06,240
Speaker 1: that I really wanted to keep active, that I wanted

552
00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:11,960
Speaker 1: to be healthy, was getting absolutely consumed during those periods,

553
00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:16,120
Speaker 1: and there were no memories being made. There was nothing

554
00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:20,120
Speaker 1: really going on behind my eyes. Sometimes that's great, you know,

555
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:23,800
Speaker 1: it's really good for like relaxing and decompressing and turning

556
00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:28,200
Speaker 1: on our lizard brain. But is that really a sustainable

557
00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:32,320
Speaker 1: and healthy source of dopamine? And in this kind of

558
00:32:32,320 --> 00:32:35,120
Speaker 1: short amount of time that we have on earth, is

559
00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:41,240
Speaker 1: that making us someone who is interested and interesting. I

560
00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:43,920
Speaker 1: think that that's not necessarily a question that I can

561
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:46,520
Speaker 1: answer for you. It's a question that you have to

562
00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:51,200
Speaker 1: answer for yourself. Is the time that you spend online

563
00:32:52,160 --> 00:32:56,560
Speaker 1: detracting from the brilliant memories and experiences you could be

564
00:32:56,600 --> 00:33:00,360
Speaker 1: making offline. So I think the reason that this has

565
00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:03,200
Speaker 1: a place in this whole episode around building a life

566
00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:06,240
Speaker 1: that you love is that you kind of want to

567
00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:09,760
Speaker 1: end things and be at the end of your life

568
00:33:09,800 --> 00:33:12,840
Speaker 1: and have stories and have moments that you can look

569
00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:14,760
Speaker 1: back on and say, like, I did those things, I

570
00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:18,080
Speaker 1: did that memories and moments that contribute to kind of

571
00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:23,480
Speaker 1: like the fabric of a lovely, beautiful, spectacular, interesting life.

572
00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:27,120
Speaker 1: Part of that involves really pursuing hobbies. And I know

573
00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:29,320
Speaker 1: that people kind of throw out hobbies as like a

574
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:32,920
Speaker 1: this is just kind of like all healing antidote of

575
00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:35,080
Speaker 1: like just get a hobby, just do this, just do that.

576
00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:37,440
Speaker 1: But no, I seriously do believe that some of the

577
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:40,600
Speaker 1: best people and happiest people in this world are people

578
00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:44,320
Speaker 1: who have something beyond themselves that they really enjoy doing.

579
00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:47,920
Speaker 1: They have something that they are working towards being better at.

580
00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:51,360
Speaker 1: Not because it's going to really get them anything material,

581
00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:53,800
Speaker 1: not because it's going to be impressive or anything like that,

582
00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:56,640
Speaker 1: but just because they're really tapped into what it means

583
00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:59,120
Speaker 1: to do the things that they love and do the

584
00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:03,000
Speaker 1: things that can true to not just a healthy life,

585
00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:06,240
Speaker 1: but a vibrant one. My final tip, and I know

586
00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:09,920
Speaker 1: I said five, but my final tip is to engage

587
00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:13,200
Speaker 1: in positive future planning. I hope for everyone listening to

588
00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:16,840
Speaker 1: this that you have a very long and beautiful life.

589
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:21,520
Speaker 1: Part of enjoying that long and beautiful life is actually

590
00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:25,680
Speaker 1: giving yourself things to look forward to and planning for

591
00:34:26,120 --> 00:34:28,799
Speaker 1: a future, happy version of yourself and what they need

592
00:34:28,840 --> 00:34:32,680
Speaker 1: to be happy. So there's this idea called dopamine scheduling,

593
00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:38,040
Speaker 1: where we deliberately not deprive ourselves of dopamine, but deliberately

594
00:34:38,239 --> 00:34:41,640
Speaker 1: put ourselves through hard periods where we're working hard, where

595
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:45,279
Speaker 1: we're pursuing our dreams, with the knowledge that at the

596
00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:49,680
Speaker 1: end of that there will be some incredible outcome. It

597
00:34:49,719 --> 00:34:52,759
Speaker 1: doesn't necessarily mean that you need to have that kind

598
00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:56,720
Speaker 1: of rollercoaster of you know, head down, bum up, really

599
00:34:56,760 --> 00:34:58,880
Speaker 1: hard over working, and then you can go on a holiday.

600
00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:03,320
Speaker 1: It's more about making sure that you take time during

601
00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:08,520
Speaker 1: your life to schedule activities and memories and moments that

602
00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:12,160
Speaker 1: are going to make you happy. You don't have to

603
00:35:12,239 --> 00:35:15,880
Speaker 1: wait until you retire to travel. You don't have to

604
00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:19,240
Speaker 1: be rich to have rich experiences. You don't need someone

605
00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:22,439
Speaker 1: to go with you to enjoy an experience. I think

606
00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:24,880
Speaker 1: that's the big thing that comes down to creating a

607
00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:27,920
Speaker 1: good life is that so often we are waiting for

608
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:31,920
Speaker 1: the conditions to be perfect before we take action. We

609
00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:35,520
Speaker 1: are waiting for some kind of marker of success or

610
00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:40,239
Speaker 1: some kind of event that's going to give us permission

611
00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:43,200
Speaker 1: to do the things that we want to do. I

612
00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:46,240
Speaker 1: have a really sad story for you about this, about

613
00:35:46,760 --> 00:35:52,239
Speaker 1: a family friend of mine who's grandparents were married for

614
00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:56,640
Speaker 1: quite a while, and they were around sixty five and

615
00:35:56,760 --> 00:36:01,879
Speaker 1: sixty seven, and the grandfather kept saying, you know, I'm

616
00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:04,399
Speaker 1: going to retire next year. I'm going to retire next year,

617
00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:05,879
Speaker 1: and we're going to go on this big cruise. We're

618
00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:07,919
Speaker 1: going to do all the travel that we never got

619
00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:10,200
Speaker 1: to do while we were working. Next year will be

620
00:36:10,239 --> 00:36:11,719
Speaker 1: the year. Next year will be the year. Let me

621
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:13,680
Speaker 1: just get a little bit more money so that we're

622
00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:18,840
Speaker 1: more comfortable. And she actually ended up passing away before

623
00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:21,319
Speaker 1: they ever got to do any of those things. So

624
00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:25,680
Speaker 1: I think, don't wait, don't wait. That story has always

625
00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:29,680
Speaker 1: stuck with me. And you know, I didn't know this

626
00:36:29,719 --> 00:36:32,080
Speaker 1: person quite well. I can't say I'm sure she had

627
00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:35,080
Speaker 1: a beautiful life, but I think just treating it as

628
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:37,160
Speaker 1: like a bit of a folk story is important and

629
00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:39,560
Speaker 1: thinking about the fact that there are people out there

630
00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:43,960
Speaker 1: who really do wait their entire lives to cram me

631
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:46,719
Speaker 1: in everything they wanted to do in the last ten

632
00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:49,919
Speaker 1: fifteen years. And I don't think that that's the way

633
00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:51,920
Speaker 1: to go. I don't think that that's the way to go.

634
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:55,680
Speaker 1: I think that there is so much beauty in giving

635
00:36:55,680 --> 00:37:00,080
Speaker 1: yourself the experiences when you can, whilst you can, and

636
00:37:00,239 --> 00:37:02,960
Speaker 1: as much as you can. It also just contributes to

637
00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:05,839
Speaker 1: more optimism about the future. And if we think back

638
00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:08,879
Speaker 1: to that Harvard study we were talking about, people who

639
00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:15,000
Speaker 1: have positive past experiences like kind of have more expectation

640
00:37:15,120 --> 00:37:18,920
Speaker 1: about future positive experiences. They have this sense of like,

641
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:21,240
Speaker 1: there are still good things coming. There are good things

642
00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:23,759
Speaker 1: in the future, and I want to be there for them,

643
00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:26,319
Speaker 1: and I want to stay optimistic for what that life

644
00:37:26,360 --> 00:37:29,320
Speaker 1: will look like, even when maybe my youth is passed,

645
00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:31,640
Speaker 1: even when my bones ache, like, there are still good

646
00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:34,160
Speaker 1: things in my future because I am planning on them,

647
00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:36,919
Speaker 1: I'm rooting on them. So I think that is all

648
00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:39,440
Speaker 1: that we have for today. My five practical tips to

649
00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:41,800
Speaker 1: build a life that you love, I'm going to quickly

650
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:44,880
Speaker 1: go back and remind you of what they are. Firstly,

651
00:37:45,400 --> 00:37:47,480
Speaker 1: before we can build the life you love, you have

652
00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:51,759
Speaker 1: to deconstruct your old life. Next is the fifteen minutes rule.

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00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:55,640
Speaker 1: Start prototyping and testing what a different version of your

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00:37:55,680 --> 00:38:00,439
Speaker 1: future could look like, and start implementing ways to bring

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00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:04,800
Speaker 1: that future you into your current and present self. Next,

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00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:07,799
Speaker 1: it's not all about addition. It's also about subtraction, what

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00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:10,200
Speaker 1: are the things in your life that are not bringing

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00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:14,160
Speaker 1: you happiness that you can realistically remove. Number four is

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00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:17,319
Speaker 1: to pursue daily joy and of course take time to

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00:38:17,360 --> 00:38:20,799
Speaker 1: be an interesting person and to be interested in yourself

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00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:25,560
Speaker 1: and finally engage in that positive future planning. I really

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00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:29,839
Speaker 1: hope that this episode brought you in your perspective, gave

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00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:33,160
Speaker 1: you something to think about. It's something that I think

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00:38:33,160 --> 00:38:35,840
Speaker 1: about a lot, in the sense of one of my

665
00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:39,560
Speaker 1: biggest fears is living with regret, and I really worry

666
00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:41,560
Speaker 1: that I'll get to a certain age and realize that

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00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:43,360
Speaker 1: the things that I always wanted to do are no

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00:38:43,440 --> 00:38:47,120
Speaker 1: longer available to me. That I won't have the money,

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00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:49,160
Speaker 1: I won't have the time, I won't have the freedom,

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00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:52,640
Speaker 1: I won't have the physical ability to do them. And

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00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:57,080
Speaker 1: it's a really scary kind of idea to me. It's

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00:38:57,120 --> 00:39:00,760
Speaker 1: a really scary worry that I might regret my life

673
00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:03,000
Speaker 1: and that maybe one day I won't. I will look

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00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:05,920
Speaker 1: back and realize that I didn't take the chances that

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00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:11,400
Speaker 1: I needed to. However, this perspective, I think allows for

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00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:13,839
Speaker 1: that allows for the fact that there is not a

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00:39:13,880 --> 00:39:16,239
Speaker 1: single thing in your life that is going to make

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00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:19,200
Speaker 1: you the happiest person alive or is going to bring

679
00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:23,560
Speaker 1: you complete, utter fulfillment and satisfaction. It's a mindset. It's

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00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:27,319
Speaker 1: a mindset of doing things every day that put you

681
00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:31,520
Speaker 1: on a path for happiness and that proved to you

682
00:39:31,640 --> 00:39:33,480
Speaker 1: day in and day out that you're investing in that

683
00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:36,279
Speaker 1: future version of you and that you are dedicated to

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00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:39,000
Speaker 1: this current version of you and giving them the best

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00:39:39,080 --> 00:39:42,000
Speaker 1: kinds of experiences, giving them all the joy they could

686
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:44,879
Speaker 1: ask for, but also inserting that discipline to make sure

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00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:48,759
Speaker 1: that you keep doors open, you have opportunities, and that

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00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:52,200
Speaker 1: you get to really design a brilliant, brilliant future. So

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00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:55,000
Speaker 1: thank you so much for listening to this episode. If

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00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:57,640
Speaker 1: you enjoyed it, please feel free to share it with

691
00:39:57,680 --> 00:40:00,800
Speaker 1: a friend who you think may need to hear this advice.

692
00:40:01,080 --> 00:40:03,120
Speaker 1: Make sure you leave us a five star review on

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00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:06,920
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever you are listening. I know everyone

694
00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:09,040
Speaker 1: says this, but I truly do read them more I

695
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:14,759
Speaker 1: read them, or probably at at my expense. Sometimes when

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00:40:14,800 --> 00:40:16,640
Speaker 1: I see like a one star review, it really gets

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00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:19,080
Speaker 1: in my head. But there's always so much love and

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00:40:19,120 --> 00:40:21,600
Speaker 1: positivity there that makes me feel better. So thank you.

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00:40:21,640 --> 00:40:23,960
Speaker 1: If you have already done that. Make sure you are

700
00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:26,400
Speaker 1: following us so you know when new episodes come out,

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00:40:26,719 --> 00:40:31,560
Speaker 1: and of course if you have an episode's suggestion, feedback, comments, thoughts, feelings,

702
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:34,680
Speaker 1: whatever it may be. Make sure you are following us

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Speaker 1: at that psychology podcast on Instagram and you can shoot

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Speaker 1: us a DM over there. Happy listening, We will see

705
00:40:42,080 --> 00:40:44,000
Speaker 1: you back again later this week