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Speaker 1: When I reach that point in a race where everything

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Speaker 1: feels like it's on fire and legs are stiff and

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Speaker 1: are going numb, I just kind of tell myself like

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Speaker 1: I've arrived, Like I've gotten to that point where I

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Speaker 1: am pushing my absolute limits. I'm pushing the boundaries, and

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Speaker 1: I get to use this as a chance to see

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Speaker 1: what I'm really made of.

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Speaker 2: Hey, everyone, Emilyavadi here.

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Speaker 3: You are listening to another episode of Hurdle, a podcast

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Speaker 3: featuring the mindset, secrets, and true stories of the most

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Speaker 3: inspiring women in sports and wellness, empowering you to live

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Speaker 3: a healthier, happier, more motivated life and of course, conquer

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Speaker 3: your own hurdles. Today's guest is someone who understands what

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Speaker 3: it really means to push the absolute limit of human potential.

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Speaker 3: Jesse Diggins is a world champion and four time Olympic

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Speaker 3: medalist in cross country at skiing, including her most recent

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Speaker 3: bronze at this year's Winter Games in the ten kilometer freestyle.

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Speaker 3: At the time I recorded this intro, Jesse has three

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Speaker 3: more events during this Winter Games, which will be her

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Speaker 3: final Olympics before she retires from competitive skiing this spring.

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Speaker 3: In this conversation, which we originally had before the twenty

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Speaker 3: twenty five season. Jesse gets incredibly candid about the pain Cave,

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Speaker 3: why she views the physical agony of a race as

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Speaker 3: a gift and an opportunity to see what she's truly

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Speaker 3: made of, mental health and resilience, her experience with an

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Speaker 3: eating disorder relapse, the danger of being too good at

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Speaker 3: pushing through pain, and why asking for help is the

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Speaker 3: biggest hurdle of all plus process versus outcome. Why Jesse's

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Speaker 3: goals are centered on daily care and effort rather than

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Speaker 3: just the number on a result sheet. Whether you you're

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Speaker 3: an endurance athlete or just someone navigating the everyday hurdles

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Speaker 3: of life, Jesse's insight on vulnerability and self compassion is

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Speaker 3: a masterclass in mindset. Make sure you're following along with

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Speaker 3: Hurdle over on social It's over at Hurdle Podcast. You

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Speaker 3: can check out iHeart Woman's Sports over at Iheartwomen's Sports

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Speaker 3: and me over at Emily a Bodie.

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Speaker 2: Listen to Hurdle with Emily A Body.

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Speaker 3: I'm iHeartRadio, app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Speaker 3: And with that, let's get to it. Let's get to hurdling. Today,

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Speaker 3: I am sitting down with Jesse Diggins. She's a pro

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Speaker 3: cross country skier. She's also the author of a book,

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Speaker 3: Brave Enough. We are a year out from the Winter Olympics.

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Speaker 3: I am hyped to have you here. Thank you so much.

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Speaker 3: I'm hyped too, Jesse Diggins, Welcome to hurdle. How are

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Speaker 3: you doing today?

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Speaker 1: Well, to be honest, I'm a little bit tired because

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Speaker 1: I've been pushing really hard in training, so today is

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Speaker 1: a little more of arrest and recovery day. But overall,

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Speaker 1: I'm super hyped. And that's part of the fun. Part

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Speaker 1: of this build up for the World Championships, right is

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Speaker 1: that you get to dig pretty deep and push pretty hard.

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Speaker 3: We will talk about your affinity for digging deep in

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Speaker 3: just a bit, but I would be remiss if I

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Speaker 3: didn't highlight right now that you're also fresh off of

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Speaker 3: your twenty six individual World Cup win.

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Speaker 1: I feel like every single time I see it as

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Speaker 1: such a cool and fun, unique event, because I think

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Speaker 1: the second you start taking it for granted is when

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Speaker 1: you lose some of the magic.

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Speaker 3: You're right now sitting in Italy, I have jealousy through

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Speaker 3: the roof. How does it feel to be in Italy

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Speaker 3: right now. Well, I love Italy.

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Speaker 1: This has kind of become one of my homes on

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Speaker 1: the road, and I just feel so comfortable here. I

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Speaker 1: love the mountains. I just I feel like just walking

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Speaker 1: around and looking at these jagged peaks of the Dolomites,

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Speaker 1: I feel like my soul is just like, oh, I'm

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Speaker 1: a home, Like this is great and the people are

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Speaker 1: so nice too. I've been making friends and meeting new

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Speaker 1: people and it's just been a really awesome place. So

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Speaker 1: I I've been spending a lot of time in Italy

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Speaker 1: this year and I've been really happy about that.

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Speaker 3: Not a bad place to be. Do you get to

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Speaker 3: travel with your husband as well? Not as much as

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Speaker 3: we would love.

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Speaker 1: He does not get quite as much flexibility with his

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Speaker 1: job and he can't really work from home. But he

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Speaker 1: did get to come over to Italy after the tour

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Speaker 1: to ski and we had a training camp in Lavigno,

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Speaker 1: and that was really really fun because we've got ski together,

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Speaker 1: which is pretty rare for us. We don't often get

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Speaker 1: to actually ski together.

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Speaker 2: That's so special.

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Speaker 3: And also I would be remiss if I didn't say

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Speaker 3: with a year out from the Olympics and them also

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Speaker 3: being in Italy, is there a certain feeling in the

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Speaker 3: air already, I would.

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Speaker 2: Say so yeah.

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Speaker 1: So skiing around Pasalo lot to like, first of all,

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Speaker 1: it's so cool seeing how many people are just out

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Speaker 1: there on the trail skiing, like people training for the

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Speaker 1: Marcia Langa, which I guess that already happened, but now

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Speaker 1: they're training for the Vosslo but people training for everything.

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Speaker 1: And then people just out there having fun and just

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Speaker 1: you know, stopping for a cappuccino after their ski and

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Speaker 1: just enjoying being out in the mountains. And when I'm

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Speaker 1: out there skiing, I've had so many people stop me

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Speaker 1: to say like good luck, Like I'm excited to cheer

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Speaker 1: for you, I'm so esited.

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Speaker 2: To watch you race.

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Speaker 1: I love watching skiing, and it's just been so cool

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Speaker 1: because I feel like I'm absorbing all of this positive

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Speaker 1: energy and so yeah, people are.

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Speaker 3: It's so it always makes me giggle a little bit

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Speaker 3: hearing something like and people stop me because obviously, without

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Speaker 3: all of the gearon, you certainly could be a recognizable person.

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Speaker 2: But with all of the gearon, to get stopped it

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Speaker 2: makes me giggle.

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Speaker 1: It's definitely a new thing for me and the last

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Speaker 1: couple of years because cross country skiing it is super

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Speaker 1: big over in Europe, and it's super big in Scandinavia,

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Speaker 1: right like Norway's wodn't It is a major sport. But

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Speaker 1: in the US it's been growing for sure, but it's

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Speaker 1: never been like one of the big sports, right, And

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Speaker 1: so you have total anonymity when you're training at home,

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Speaker 1: which is really cool. You're just very very normal, Like

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Speaker 1: I feel like such an average person in every way

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Speaker 1: and that's wonderful. And then coming over here having people

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Speaker 1: recognize me on the trail, I still kind of do

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Speaker 1: this double take, like how do you know why. It's

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Speaker 1: very humbling, and it is super foddering, and it also

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Speaker 1: makes me sometimes be like, oh my gosh, like I

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Speaker 1: don't think I deserve this praise from these strangers.

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Speaker 3: Well, you are an Olympic medalist and a world champion,

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Speaker 3: and I was doing my Jesse Diggins research and you

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Speaker 3: talk about what makes you an extraordinary athlete and it's

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Speaker 3: not as in your words and outrageous votwo max or

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Speaker 3: any specific crazy athletic ability, but rather your affinity for struggling.

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Speaker 3: Talk to me a little bit about why you like

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Speaker 3: to struggle, Jesse. I know it's funny. If I could

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Speaker 3: pick for myself any sort of strength, it wouldn't be that.

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Speaker 3: But like I wish I just had beautiful technique.

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Speaker 1: It does not come naturally to me, and I'm not

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Speaker 1: super powerful. I don't have incredible fast twitch muscles like

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Speaker 1: I just I physically, I feel like I'm just quite average.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, my particular strength is being able to shake

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Speaker 1: hands with pain and figure out a way to move

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Speaker 1: through the pain and embrace it in a race since

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Speaker 1: instead of it shutting me down. I kind of I

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Speaker 1: guess I would say when I reach that point in

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Speaker 1: a race where everything feels like it's on fire and

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Speaker 1: my legs are stiff and or going numb, I just

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Speaker 1: kind of tell myself like I've arrived, like I've gotten

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Speaker 1: to that point where I am pushing my absolute limits.

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Speaker 1: I'm pushing the boundaries, and I get to use this

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Speaker 1: as a chance to see what I'm really made of.

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Speaker 1: How gritty can I get, how tough can I be?

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Speaker 1: How how far am I willing to go for this

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Speaker 1: race for my team, for whatever it is that I'm

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Speaker 1: racing for right now. And I think for me, that

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Speaker 1: is like an opportunity, and that's why it has turned

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Speaker 1: into a strength. It's instead of being scared of it hurting,

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Speaker 1: I see it as this kind of this gift of

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Speaker 1: getting to learn something about myself, but it's hard to

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Speaker 1: learn any other way.

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Speaker 3: This gift of being able to lean into the hurt

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Speaker 3: in practice. What does the hurt look and feel like

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Speaker 3: in your body when it's happening.

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Speaker 1: So this is where people are going to think I'm nuts.

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Speaker 1: But sometimes my legs go numb, like up to my waist.

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Speaker 1: But first they feel really stiff, which is a pretty

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Speaker 1: common feeling, like that lactic acid building your muscles are

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Speaker 1: getting stuffer. But everything also feels like it's kind of burning,

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Speaker 1: like my lungs are burning, and it feels like it's

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Speaker 1: hard to stand up straight and get a deep breath.

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Speaker 1: And sometimes my vision tints usually a little bit pink,

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Speaker 1: but sometimes a little bit yellow, and sometimes the like

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Speaker 1: the volume dial gets turned down, so I'm not hearing

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Speaker 1: things quite the same anymore. And then recently, also sometimes

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Speaker 1: it feels like my teeth are buzzing, which is a

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Speaker 1: very weird feeling, like like I literally am feeling the

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Speaker 1: lactic acid in my teeth, like it's everywhere, and then

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Speaker 1: when I cross the finish line. I'm also kind of

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Speaker 1: known for like collapsing in the snow and staying down

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Speaker 1: for a little while. And I'm not trying to be dramatic.

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Speaker 1: It's not on purpose. It's because when I'm laying there,

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Speaker 1: it feels like everything's spinning, like you know when you

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Speaker 1: have too much to drink and then you lay down

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Speaker 1: and you're like, WHOA, I can't get up right now.

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Speaker 1: Everything's spinning around me. That's what it feels like. So

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Speaker 1: sometimes it feels like I'm holding onto the snow to

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Speaker 1: kind of center myself, and I'm like, I am not

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Speaker 1: gonna get up right now because I do, I'm just

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Speaker 1: going to stagger around and fall back down. It's not

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Speaker 1: going to be pretty.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, So do you have a recollection of when you

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Speaker 3: first experienced all of these sensations and were able to

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Speaker 3: push through it, learning that pushing through it was possible.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. It was a team relay, which makes sense because

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Speaker 1: for years and years and years, my best races were

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Speaker 1: always relays, and for whatever reason, I felt like it

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Speaker 1: wasn't okay for me to care enough about my own races.

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Speaker 1: But when I was racing for my teammates, I would

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Speaker 1: turn myself inside out and have my best performances ever.

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Speaker 1: And so back in high school, we had I think

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Speaker 1: it was a pretty casual weekend relay, like it wasn't.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't for all the marbles or anything. But I

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Speaker 1: was anchoring my team and we were a little bit behind,

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Speaker 1: and I was told like, all right, you just have

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Speaker 1: to catch this one girl from I think it was

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Speaker 1: like Forest Lake High School or Roseville or one of

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Speaker 1: the teams that we competed against a lot. And I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh, great, But we had one hundred and

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Speaker 1: twenty kids on our high school team, and so did

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Speaker 1: a lot of the other teams, and so there were

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Speaker 1: like twenty teams out there. So I'd look up the

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Speaker 1: hill and see a girl in the suit that I

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Speaker 1: thought I had to catch, and as soon as I

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Speaker 1: catch her, I'd look up and see another girl and

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Speaker 1: I was like, Oh, my gosh, which one was I

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Speaker 1: supposed to catch? And so in my head I forgot

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Speaker 1: about what team it was I was supposed to catch,

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Speaker 1: and I just kept trying to chase down every single

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Speaker 1: person in front of me, just in case that was

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Speaker 1: the one person I was supposed to pass, and I

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Speaker 1: just got so focused on the task and so in

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Speaker 1: the zone that I started ignoring all the warning signs

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Speaker 1: that you normally feel in your body. That's like WHOA,

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Speaker 1: time to slow down, Like you're pushing really hard. This

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Speaker 1: kind of hurts, and I just kept pushing and pushing

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Speaker 1: through it. And when I crossed the finish line, I

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Speaker 1: had not only passed the girl, but we had won

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Speaker 1: the relay buy a lot. But I thought I was

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Speaker 1: going to die.

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Speaker 2: I was like, I.

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Speaker 1: Can't breathe, I can't move, I'm so much pain. But

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Speaker 1: then after thirty forty five seconds, I got up and

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Speaker 1: I was like WHOA, Like that didn't kill me. I'm okay,

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Speaker 1: holy crap, Like I think I've just unlocked this next

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Speaker 1: level of racing. Like I had this massive light bulb moment, like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, this level has been there the whole time.

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Speaker 1: I just didn't have the motivation to go there until now,

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Speaker 1: And now that I've figured it out and unlocked, Like

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Speaker 1: I can get so much more out of my body

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Speaker 1: if I'm willing to go that far into the pain

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Speaker 1: cave and really empty the tank.

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Speaker 2: All the way.

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Speaker 1: And so that kind of was this like Wow, this

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Speaker 1: is an amazing discovery. And also it was like, oh no,

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Speaker 1: now I know what I have to do every time

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Speaker 1: I really want to race really hard and get everything

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Speaker 1: out of myself, Like, oh.

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Speaker 3: No, how has this realization translated across the rest of

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Speaker 3: your life beyond sport.

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Speaker 1: Well, that's where it's kind of interesting, because this ability

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Speaker 1: to push through pain is really really great as a

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Speaker 1: professional endurance athlete, right, But in the rest of my life,

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Speaker 1: the ability to just keep pushing through pain and ignore

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Speaker 1: warning signs has actually been quite a liability. I had

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Speaker 1: an eating disorder when I was eighteen nineteen years old,

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Speaker 1: and I went to the Emily program for professional treatment

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Speaker 1: and got better and learned so much about myself. And

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Speaker 1: then I had a relapse about a year and a

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Speaker 1: half ago, and I realized that a big part of

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Speaker 1: why I relapsed was because I was too good at

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Speaker 1: pushing through discomfort. Like in my personal life, I was

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Speaker 1: getting overwhelmed. I was doing way too much. I was

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Speaker 1: working myself too hard. Just a little bit, but all

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Speaker 1: the time for about six years, and it was building

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Speaker 1: and building, and I just kept pushing through it, like no,

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Speaker 1: I'm tough, I'm gritty. I got this, I can do it.

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Speaker 1: And so I took that mentality that is great in

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Speaker 1: races and put it into my personal life and started

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Speaker 1: kind of tearing myself apart because I was too good

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Speaker 1: at being in pain. And so I feel like this

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Speaker 1: is something that a lot of endurance athletes and people

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Speaker 1: in general can struggle with. It's like, where's the line

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Speaker 1: between acceptable pain for a very defined amount of time

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Speaker 1: where there is a clear finish line, and where is

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Speaker 1: the line where it's like this is unacceptable, Like it's

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Speaker 1: not okay to be hurting for this amount of time

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Speaker 1: and in your normal life.

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Speaker 2: Thank you so much for sharing that.

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Speaker 3: I'm so curious to know what the differences were for

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Speaker 3: you from your first about with your ED to your

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Speaker 3: relapse a year and a half ago, knowing a year

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Speaker 3: and a half ago that there were certain tools accessible

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Speaker 3: in your toolbox that you didn't have when you were

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Speaker 3: a teenager.

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Speaker 1: Exactly because when I was a teenager, I didn't know

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Speaker 1: anything about eating disorders beyond like your very basic, like

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Speaker 1: eighth grade health class unit. And so from that I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh, okay, so eating disorders are apparently a

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Speaker 1: behavioral choice and it's your fault and it's a problem.

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Speaker 1: And this only affects you know, rich, skinny, white teenage

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Speaker 1: women and nobody else, like right, Like that's what I

287
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Speaker 1: thought I knew about it, which was completely wrong. All

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Speaker 1: those things are basically the opposite. Eating disorders can affect

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Speaker 1: anyone at any stage of life. It's not a behavioral choice.

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Speaker 1: It's the way your brain is wired. And nobody asks

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Speaker 1: for this, And it's okay to need help, like you

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00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:49,640
Speaker 1: do deserve help, that's okay. And so I didn't know

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Speaker 1: that the first time. So I was basically drowning in

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Speaker 1: my own guilt and shame and feelings of confusion, like

295
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Speaker 1: I'm a good kid, I got a's in school, I'm smart,

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Speaker 1: I'm capable. Why can't I figure this out?

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Speaker 2: You know?

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Speaker 1: Like I figured, like, oh, I should be able to

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Speaker 1: just work hard and solve this on my own. And

300
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Speaker 1: I didn't really understand that it's okay to lean on

301
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Speaker 1: professionals who have had training in eating disorders. Who are

302
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Speaker 1: you know, Therapists were there to help you figure out

303
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Speaker 1: what's going on in your brain and that's the you know,

304
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Speaker 1: smoothest path towards recovery and like truly healing from this.

305
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Speaker 1: So I also learned that my eating disorder wasn't really

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Speaker 1: about food at all. It was about control and perfectionism.

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Speaker 1: So kind of hand in hand with that tendency to

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Speaker 1: just push and push and push and try to, you know,

309
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Speaker 1: and be okay with pushing through pain, I'm also pretty

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Speaker 1: type A and I love feeling like I'm in control

311
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Speaker 1: of me. And if I felt like my life was

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Speaker 1: out of control, my eating disorder came in kind of

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Speaker 1: as a crutch, like a coping mechanism, like, oh, I

314
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Speaker 1: can give you control, And of course that's also not true,

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Speaker 1: like the eating disorder ends up controlling you. You're not

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Speaker 1: really in control, but in the moment, you feel like, well,

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Speaker 1: food in my body is the one thing I can

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Speaker 1: hold on to so tightly and have control over when

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Speaker 1: I feel like everything else is chaos and I'm not

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm trying to be perfect and I'm not perfect,

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Speaker 1: and your eating disorder comes in and goes, well, I

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Speaker 1: can make you perfect. So it was just kind of

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Speaker 1: this trap of thinking. And the second time when I relapsed,

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Speaker 1: I realized, Hey, I need to not let this be secret,

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Speaker 1: like right away, I need to tell my sports psychologists

326
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Speaker 1: who i'd worked with since I was nineteen, so she

327
00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:49,400
Speaker 1: knew my whole history. We're very close, and we had

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Speaker 1: spent years and years building up a strong safety net

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Speaker 1: so in case this ever happened, I could fall back

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Speaker 1: on that. And I told my husband, told my parents,

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Speaker 1: told my coach, told my teammates, and I was Instead

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Speaker 1: of being met with you know, skepticism, or being shut

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Speaker 1: out or being blocked out, I was met with love.

334
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Speaker 1: And that was so incredible for me to feel just

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00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:18,960
Speaker 1: unconditionally accepted, like we still think you're a good person,

336
00:18:19,119 --> 00:18:21,320
Speaker 1: We're really sorry that you're dealing with this. How can

337
00:18:21,359 --> 00:18:23,800
Speaker 1: we help you? Like, we know we can't fix it

338
00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:26,399
Speaker 1: for you, that's why you have the professionals, but we

339
00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:29,439
Speaker 1: just want to support you. And that was amazing. So

340
00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:33,159
Speaker 1: I think all of these fears that if I told

341
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Speaker 1: somebody that I was struggling, if I told someone I

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Speaker 1: wasn't perfect, that they would reject me, Like, none of

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00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:39,520
Speaker 1: those fears came true.

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Speaker 3: Yeah again, thank you for sharing that. How long was

345
00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:51,680
Speaker 3: it before you spoke to people about what you were

346
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Speaker 3: experiencing in this relapse?

347
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Speaker 1: Yeah, I say, because the first time it was months.

348
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Speaker 1: I couldn't even admit it to myself. Let alone even

349
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Speaker 1: think about telling my parents, who are, like, you know,

350
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:08,159
Speaker 1: unconditionally they have to love you. You're their child, and

351
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Speaker 1: so like, I couldn't even admit it to myself, much

352
00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:15,159
Speaker 1: less of them. But the second time, it was I

353
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Speaker 1: don't know, a matter of just a couple of weeks

354
00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:21,960
Speaker 1: where I was like, Okay, this is okay, I recognize

355
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:25,480
Speaker 1: what's happening. This is happening again, and I realize I

356
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:27,840
Speaker 1: need to shut this down because I know myself and

357
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:30,680
Speaker 1: I know how quickly something like this can spiral.

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Speaker 2: You mentioned this desire for control.

359
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Speaker 3: Also curious if there was anything specifically that was occurring

360
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:58,280
Speaker 3: that was triggering this desire in you when this happened.

361
00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:02,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, it's probably a bunch of things combined.

362
00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:05,560
Speaker 1: But I think this had been building for a very

363
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:09,240
Speaker 1: long time. And so after the twenty eighteen Olympics, when

364
00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:11,239
Speaker 1: Keigan and I won the gold medal, I kind of

365
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:17,959
Speaker 1: overnight our lives changed and it was exciting and wonderful

366
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:22,800
Speaker 1: and scary and overwhelming all at once. And also I

367
00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:25,960
Speaker 1: kind of became the face of us skiing from then

368
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:33,040
Speaker 1: on and had more more asks of me. And I'm

369
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:35,879
Speaker 1: a yes person. I really struggle with saying no, and

370
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:38,600
Speaker 1: I also wanted to do everything. You know, this sport

371
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:41,800
Speaker 1: has given me so much. I wanted to give back

372
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Speaker 1: in every way that I could. And that's great, but

373
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Speaker 1: there have to be boundaries, there have to be limits,

374
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:53,199
Speaker 1: and I was not setting limits for myself, and I

375
00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:56,720
Speaker 1: just was not good at recognizing, like you are pushing

376
00:20:56,800 --> 00:21:00,320
Speaker 1: too hard, you're doing too much, and I slowly was

377
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:04,359
Speaker 1: overworking myself and to the point where, like I looked

378
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:08,480
Speaker 1: back on before my relapse, I looked at my planner

379
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Speaker 1: like I like to write things down physically in a log,

380
00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:15,440
Speaker 1: and I had a week where it was like five

381
00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:19,520
Speaker 1: different interviews, a couple different podcasts, a board meeting, and

382
00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:22,960
Speaker 1: something else on top of double training every day. And

383
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:26,280
Speaker 1: it was like that's too much, Like that is too

384
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:29,119
Speaker 1: much for anyone, but it was definitely too much for

385
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:31,880
Speaker 1: me in that moment. And so looking back, I think

386
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:36,040
Speaker 1: I was just overworking myself and overriding it. And so

387
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:39,840
Speaker 1: my eating disorder kind of came back as this kind

388
00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:43,520
Speaker 1: of final warning sign, like, hey, you haven't been listening.

389
00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:46,520
Speaker 1: You've been ignoring everything. Your brain's been telling you to

390
00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:49,240
Speaker 1: slow down. This is the one thing you will listen

391
00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:52,159
Speaker 1: to and so my eating disorder kind of came in

392
00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:55,360
Speaker 1: to bench me and say, like, stop it. You have

393
00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:57,600
Speaker 1: to slow down, you have to rest, You have to

394
00:21:57,640 --> 00:22:01,600
Speaker 1: take care of your soul and what you actually need

395
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:04,680
Speaker 1: in order to be a complete, full person right now.

396
00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:08,200
Speaker 1: And so, even though my eating disorder has not been

397
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:11,760
Speaker 1: a good thing in my life, it has been a

398
00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:16,360
Speaker 1: functional warning system in a way, like I'm trying to

399
00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:19,560
Speaker 1: not see it as only a bad thing. In a way,

400
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:23,679
Speaker 1: my eating disorder has been something that's taught me you

401
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:26,600
Speaker 1: have to stop. Because if it hadn't come back, I

402
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:30,040
Speaker 1: probably would have kept going like that for years and

403
00:22:30,119 --> 00:22:33,119
Speaker 1: years and years, and I would have become deeply unhappy.

404
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:37,440
Speaker 1: And now I'm a happy and healthy version of myself

405
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:40,679
Speaker 1: because I was forced to kind of come to terms

406
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:41,800
Speaker 1: with what I was doing.

407
00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:46,399
Speaker 3: You mentioned the bravery that went into owning up to

408
00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:49,000
Speaker 3: what you were going through experiencing and then talking to

409
00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:53,359
Speaker 3: your teammates and your family and your sports psych and

410
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:57,120
Speaker 3: so many individuals in the act of that. How did

411
00:22:57,160 --> 00:23:00,320
Speaker 3: that make you feel at first versus how did that

412
00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:03,040
Speaker 3: make you feel a week later after you told all

413
00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:04,040
Speaker 3: of them.

414
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:08,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, in the moment, I was just like sweating uncontrollable

415
00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:12,879
Speaker 1: because I was so nervous, like, man, like, you know,

416
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:16,000
Speaker 1: there's still and it's not that I don't completely love

417
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:18,280
Speaker 1: and trust all these people in my life, but I

418
00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:22,479
Speaker 1: think there's that part of your brain that says you

419
00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:26,760
Speaker 1: are so unlovable for this, like how could anyone love

420
00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:30,680
Speaker 1: you when you are doing this to yourself? And that

421
00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:34,600
Speaker 1: is really scary. So to trust everyone that I told,

422
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:38,639
Speaker 1: to trust that they wouldn't shut me out and say, no,

423
00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:42,000
Speaker 1: we still love you, don't worry, we still have you

424
00:23:42,119 --> 00:23:45,720
Speaker 1: here like that, it was really scary, and so I

425
00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:49,760
Speaker 1: think in the moment it was terrifying. But then not

426
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:52,240
Speaker 1: even a week later, I would say, an hour later,

427
00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:55,439
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm so silly for being scared to

428
00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:57,800
Speaker 1: tell them, like, I'm so glad I did. And it's

429
00:23:57,880 --> 00:24:00,000
Speaker 1: I mean, it's not that I'm silly. Those fears are valid,

430
00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:04,960
Speaker 1: but everyone I told was so supportive and yeah, so

431
00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:08,360
Speaker 1: kind and yeah, I'm so glad that I reached out

432
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:08,760
Speaker 1: for help.

433
00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:10,680
Speaker 2: I'm so glad that you reached out.

434
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:15,160
Speaker 3: And to your point, not silly, but understandably so feeling

435
00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:16,560
Speaker 3: a little foolish.

436
00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:17,840
Speaker 2: It's as though.

437
00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:21,040
Speaker 3: You think to yourself, I've been here before I should

438
00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:23,399
Speaker 3: know better. And it's not that you don't know better.

439
00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:27,119
Speaker 3: It's bigger than you, right, It is all consuming, and

440
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:29,480
Speaker 3: so to do the best you can with what you

441
00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:31,800
Speaker 3: have in any given moment. Each moment is going to

442
00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:34,159
Speaker 3: look different than the last, and so you took it

443
00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:37,080
Speaker 3: upon yourself to do a very brave thing and move

444
00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:38,760
Speaker 3: forward in the way that was best for you.

445
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:44,120
Speaker 1: Thank you. Yeah, it's I think that's my biggest message

446
00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:47,560
Speaker 1: for people is that it's so terrifying to need to

447
00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:51,160
Speaker 1: ask for help when when it's something big and when

448
00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:54,680
Speaker 1: it's something personal, and it can be so scary because

449
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:57,080
Speaker 1: we're worried that we're going to be rejected or shut out,

450
00:24:57,200 --> 00:25:00,000
Speaker 1: or people won't look at us the same way anymore.

451
00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:03,720
Speaker 1: And none of those things have happened to me either

452
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:06,800
Speaker 1: time that I told people, and I stood up told

453
00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:09,960
Speaker 1: the whole world, and nobody looks at me differently, And

454
00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:13,080
Speaker 1: so I think it's even though it's so so scary

455
00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:14,840
Speaker 1: to take that step to ask for help like that

456
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:17,000
Speaker 1: is the biggest hurdle that you have to get over,

457
00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:21,000
Speaker 1: and once you get over that, everything from there can

458
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:23,560
Speaker 1: flow a little bit easier because you have people on

459
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:26,200
Speaker 1: your side who have your back, who are helping you out.

460
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:28,520
Speaker 2: You mentioned telling the whole world.

461
00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:31,679
Speaker 3: How is that different than telling the people that know

462
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:33,760
Speaker 3: you and your heart specifically.

463
00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:39,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was a whole nother conversation because I, yeah,

464
00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:42,080
Speaker 1: I told all the people who are part of you

465
00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:44,280
Speaker 1: know what I would call my care team, like everyone

466
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:47,320
Speaker 1: I know cares about me and who is helping me

467
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:51,280
Speaker 1: and supporting me. And I knew that, you know, they

468
00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:53,480
Speaker 1: were going to respect my privacy and let me tell

469
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:57,480
Speaker 1: people if I wanted to. And the first time I

470
00:25:57,560 --> 00:26:00,560
Speaker 1: told everyone it was in a past ten you know,

471
00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:04,600
Speaker 1: it wasn't actively while I was in recovery. It was, Hey,

472
00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:07,399
Speaker 1: you know, six seven years ago, I struggled with this,

473
00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:09,200
Speaker 1: and I think it's important for me to talk about

474
00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:13,240
Speaker 1: because I wanted people to see that you can be

475
00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:17,360
Speaker 1: imperfect and need help with something and still get healthy

476
00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:20,800
Speaker 1: and get better and reach your goals. Like it's okay

477
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:23,720
Speaker 1: if you're struggling with something, you don't have to be perfect.

478
00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:26,080
Speaker 1: There was a lot of discussions of like, should you

479
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:30,240
Speaker 1: just focus on yourself right now because you don't need to,

480
00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:35,119
Speaker 1: don't You don't You've given people enough, you don't need

481
00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:38,880
Speaker 1: to help anymore. But I felt like I did want

482
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:43,560
Speaker 1: to tell people because it's been my way this whole

483
00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:47,240
Speaker 1: time is to be super vulnerable and super open, and

484
00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:49,800
Speaker 1: I wanted people to know like, if you have a relapse,

485
00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:53,600
Speaker 1: you haven't failed, because that's how I felt when I

486
00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:57,160
Speaker 1: first started using the symptoms of my eating disorder again.

487
00:26:57,280 --> 00:27:00,560
Speaker 1: My first thought was, Oh my god, I'm such a failure.

488
00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:03,040
Speaker 1: Like I thought I was past this. I thought I

489
00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:06,000
Speaker 1: was better than this. I thought I had grown and learned,

490
00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:09,920
Speaker 1: So how could I be here again? And in hindsight, well, yeah,

491
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:11,720
Speaker 1: of course I could be there again. Like I was

492
00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:14,840
Speaker 1: completely overwhelmed. But in the moment, it seemed like such

493
00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:17,680
Speaker 1: a surprize and I was so caught off guard by

494
00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:21,720
Speaker 1: my eating disorder and I felt so yeah, I felt

495
00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:24,320
Speaker 1: like I had failed until I took a step back

496
00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:27,000
Speaker 1: and went, wait a minute, this does not You know,

497
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:29,199
Speaker 1: you're allowed to ask for help at any point in

498
00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:32,240
Speaker 1: your life. It's not like you get one call for

499
00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:35,080
Speaker 1: help and that's it. Like you are allowed to struggle

500
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:38,199
Speaker 1: multiple times, that's okay. And so I felt like it

501
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:41,359
Speaker 1: was important for me to share that, And the feedback

502
00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:44,240
Speaker 1: that I've gotten from people has made me very glad

503
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:47,399
Speaker 1: that I did, because I'm not the only person who

504
00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:50,560
Speaker 1: has had a relapse of something, whether or not it's

505
00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:56,840
Speaker 1: mental health or a relapse with drug abuse, alcoholism, whatever

506
00:27:56,880 --> 00:28:00,280
Speaker 1: it is, it's you know, sometimes you slip up and

507
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:03,520
Speaker 1: you need another chance and that's okay.

508
00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:07,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's okay. Again, Thank you so much for sharing

509
00:28:07,359 --> 00:28:11,159
Speaker 3: so much about this. I really believe that it is

510
00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:17,240
Speaker 3: through this vulnerability that we have an opportunity to help, right.

511
00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:23,000
Speaker 3: But there is such an importance on being vulnerable when

512
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:26,160
Speaker 3: you are ready to be vulnerable. I once had someone

513
00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:28,040
Speaker 3: on the show that said, be careful that the sword

514
00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:31,240
Speaker 3: that you use to help others isn't the one that

515
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:36,360
Speaker 3: you fall on. So you had this big understanding of Okay,

516
00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:38,680
Speaker 3: I'll know when I'm ready to talk about it, and

517
00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:42,640
Speaker 3: when I do. You did it on your own terms.

518
00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:45,120
Speaker 3: I loved what you recently put on Instagram. You were

519
00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:49,200
Speaker 3: talking and sharing the comparison between going through a physical

520
00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:53,360
Speaker 3: injury and also healing through and eating disorder. Can you

521
00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:55,960
Speaker 3: talk to us a little bit about the parallels between

522
00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:56,240
Speaker 3: the two.

523
00:28:57,400 --> 00:29:00,000
Speaker 1: Yeah. Absolutely, And before I do, I just want to

524
00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:03,280
Speaker 1: reiterate what you said, like, no one should feel pressure

525
00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:07,600
Speaker 1: to share beyond their care team unless they are ready

526
00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:11,200
Speaker 1: because it is something that you can't take back once

527
00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:14,120
Speaker 1: you put it out there, and I don't have any regrets,

528
00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:17,880
Speaker 1: but that might be unique to my person and my personality.

529
00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:21,600
Speaker 1: So I'm really glive you reiterated that because that's really important.

530
00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:25,000
Speaker 1: But yeah, So what I have been thinking a lot

531
00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:28,520
Speaker 1: about recently is how similar a physical injury is to

532
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:34,040
Speaker 1: a mental injury, because once I learned that, I shouldn't

533
00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:37,520
Speaker 1: need to feel shame attached to my eating disorder just

534
00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:40,880
Speaker 1: the same way like with my current injury, which is

535
00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:43,200
Speaker 1: a partial rupture of the planter fashion in the bottom

536
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:45,200
Speaker 1: of my foot down by wear it attaches to my

537
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:47,840
Speaker 1: heel bone. Like, I don't feel any shame about that.

538
00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:50,360
Speaker 1: I can tell anyone, like you know, like, oh, hey,

539
00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:52,600
Speaker 1: how's your foot going. I'm like great, thanks, I'm working

540
00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:55,280
Speaker 1: on it. Like it's healing and it's not a secret,

541
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:58,920
Speaker 1: it's not weird, it's not hard to talk about. It's like, yeah,

542
00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:02,200
Speaker 1: this is this painful that I'm working on going through

543
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:07,520
Speaker 1: and the timeline isn't super defined, And I was like, wow,

544
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:10,480
Speaker 1: that's just like an eating disorder, Like no one can

545
00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:12,800
Speaker 1: see the injury in my foot, It's invisible. It's on

546
00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 1: the inside, and there isn't an exact timeline, Like everyone

547
00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:22,120
Speaker 1: heals differently, and what everyone can do while they're healing

548
00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:24,480
Speaker 1: is different. Like I might be able to do these

549
00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:26,960
Speaker 1: sort of modes of training, but not these different kinds

550
00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:29,480
Speaker 1: of training modes, and that's unique to me and it

551
00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:33,120
Speaker 1: shouldn't be compared to anybody else. And I also am

552
00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:36,360
Speaker 1: leaning on the medical professionals to help me out with

553
00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:38,680
Speaker 1: my foot, you know, like, even though I am a strong,

554
00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:42,360
Speaker 1: capable woman, I don't need to heal my own foot,

555
00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:44,520
Speaker 1: it's okay for me to ask for help. And the

556
00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:48,800
Speaker 1: same with my eating disorder. So yeah, I've just found

557
00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:53,240
Speaker 1: that there's so many different parallels here and it's taught

558
00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:55,600
Speaker 1: me patients in both realms.

559
00:30:55,760 --> 00:30:58,880
Speaker 2: I think, is it plant or fascist stuff? The worst.

560
00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:04,000
Speaker 3: Wild a tear is very different than standard planter fasci

561
00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:07,120
Speaker 3: it is, but it is the injury that just keeps

562
00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:07,719
Speaker 3: on giving.

563
00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:09,400
Speaker 2: It really is.

564
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:12,920
Speaker 1: And you know what's interesting is when I shared with

565
00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:15,440
Speaker 1: people like has there's what's going on with my foot?

566
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:18,280
Speaker 1: I had so many people reach out to the point

567
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:20,680
Speaker 1: where I was like, wait, does everyone in the world

568
00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:23,400
Speaker 1: have plant fasci itis? Like I think everyone It's like

569
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:26,239
Speaker 1: it's just a very relatable injury.

570
00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:31,160
Speaker 2: There. I know what that feels like. Yes, I know

571
00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:32,080
Speaker 2: what that feels like too.

572
00:31:32,120 --> 00:31:34,040
Speaker 3: I feel like I've dealt with it on and off

573
00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:36,120
Speaker 3: for like the past ten years. Right now we're in

574
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:39,920
Speaker 3: like a chow phase. But I can really sympathize with

575
00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:43,440
Speaker 3: how frustrating it is and this idea that you have

576
00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:46,560
Speaker 3: no timeline, there is no this is exactly how long

577
00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:49,360
Speaker 3: it's going to be not feeling your best for It's

578
00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:52,360
Speaker 3: almost as though with Planter fasci itis that sometimes, at

579
00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:55,320
Speaker 3: least from my own experience, I almost wish that I

580
00:31:55,400 --> 00:31:57,640
Speaker 3: broke something because then I had a clear indication of

581
00:31:57,680 --> 00:31:58,840
Speaker 3: how long I'd be down and out.

582
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:03,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. I feel like in my case, I am

583
00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:06,040
Speaker 1: very fortunate because I could keep racing, whereas a stress

584
00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:09,120
Speaker 1: fractor would have been the end of my season. But yeah,

585
00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:13,920
Speaker 1: with a stress fractor, like you know, like and you

586
00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:16,440
Speaker 1: can get X ray and be like it's hailed done.

587
00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:20,560
Speaker 1: And with this it's very nebulous. And so that's what's

588
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:22,200
Speaker 1: made it very interesting for me.

589
00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:26,880
Speaker 3: Oh, very interesting for you also an understandable thing. When

590
00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:30,240
Speaker 3: did you start struggling with this bout of planter issues.

591
00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:34,640
Speaker 1: So it came on very quickly, just a couple days

592
00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:36,640
Speaker 1: before the start of the tour to Ski, which was

593
00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:39,080
Speaker 1: December twenty eighth, so it came on like right around

594
00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:42,640
Speaker 1: Christmas time. And I think it's because I was doing

595
00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:46,640
Speaker 1: some training runs in new soft snow and I wasn't

596
00:32:46,720 --> 00:32:50,479
Speaker 1: quite used to running on such an unstable surface. And

597
00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:54,240
Speaker 1: they weren't crazy long runs, but for me, my feet

598
00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:59,240
Speaker 1: have been basically my weakest length my entire career. They

599
00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:02,480
Speaker 1: are just increat delicate and fragile, which is unfortunate. But

600
00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:05,800
Speaker 1: it came on really quickly, so within like three days,

601
00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:09,240
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I'm not running anymore. That's not happening.

602
00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:13,800
Speaker 1: And then during the tour, at some point, which I

603
00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:16,920
Speaker 1: believe it was one of the first classic races because

604
00:33:17,040 --> 00:33:20,520
Speaker 1: it had been painful and uncomfortable. But then after one

605
00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:22,200
Speaker 1: of these races, all of a sudden, I was like,

606
00:33:22,520 --> 00:33:26,239
Speaker 1: I can't walk. This is a new sensation, like it

607
00:33:26,320 --> 00:33:28,840
Speaker 1: feels like my foot is tearing in half. And we

608
00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:30,720
Speaker 1: didn't know quite what was going on, and it wasn't

609
00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:34,680
Speaker 1: getting worse, it was just holding steady. So we determined, like,

610
00:33:34,720 --> 00:33:36,640
Speaker 1: all right, it's fine for me to finish the tour

611
00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:40,440
Speaker 1: if I want. And at that point, and I would say, also,

612
00:33:40,480 --> 00:33:43,920
Speaker 1: it's important to acknowledge, like we were working with pets

613
00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:47,840
Speaker 1: and doctors and we were very carefully monitoring, like all right,

614
00:33:47,920 --> 00:33:51,080
Speaker 1: this is quite painful, but because it's not continuing to

615
00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:53,320
Speaker 1: get worse, we felt like, all right, it's safe to

616
00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:57,000
Speaker 1: hold steady here, because otherwise there are certain kinds of

617
00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:59,880
Speaker 1: pain that are not okay to race through. And then

618
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:01,960
Speaker 1: there are other injuries where it's like, well, you can't

619
00:34:01,960 --> 00:34:04,680
Speaker 1: make it worse, so if you want to go ahead.

620
00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:10,080
Speaker 1: But and this was the second category, But yeah, it was.

621
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:14,600
Speaker 1: It was incredibly painful. And then after that we got

622
00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:16,680
Speaker 1: the MRI and figure it out like all right, here's

623
00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:19,719
Speaker 1: our game plan. And it's been steadily improving since then.

624
00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:23,200
Speaker 1: But it is, it is slow. It is. It is

625
00:34:23,239 --> 00:34:25,279
Speaker 1: a day by day situation.

626
00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:26,640
Speaker 2: A day by day situation.

627
00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:29,880
Speaker 3: So many people that have struggled with the injury, regardless

628
00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:33,840
Speaker 3: of what it is, can really feel that. Now, I

629
00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:36,799
Speaker 3: would be remiss if I didn't ask you, as a

630
00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:40,120
Speaker 3: cross country skier for a little bit of intel for

631
00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:43,680
Speaker 3: someone who's unfamiliar with the sport may have an interest

632
00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:47,920
Speaker 3: in trying it out. What are three foundational tips for

633
00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:51,960
Speaker 3: someone to give cross country skiing a whirl.

634
00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:56,360
Speaker 1: I always tell people sign up for a lesson first

635
00:34:56,520 --> 00:35:00,440
Speaker 1: because that will make it so much more fun, and

636
00:35:01,040 --> 00:35:03,360
Speaker 1: commit to trying it a couple of times, because the

637
00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:06,760
Speaker 1: learning curve is really steep, but it is just really

638
00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:11,480
Speaker 1: it's challenging, like it's physically a hard sport, but once

639
00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:14,520
Speaker 1: you get some of the technique down, it becomes so

640
00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:18,719
Speaker 1: fun and so enjoyable. So I always tell people, like,

641
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:21,160
Speaker 1: sign up for a lesson first to really focus on

642
00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:23,640
Speaker 1: the technique of it, and then give you give it

643
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:26,280
Speaker 1: a few tries before you really make a judgment about

644
00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:28,279
Speaker 1: whether or not you like it, because usually by the

645
00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:29,799
Speaker 1: time you give it a couple of tries, you're like, oh,

646
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:33,000
Speaker 1: this is it is so fun being able to glide

647
00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:37,000
Speaker 1: through the woods and through fields on these gorgeous trails

648
00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:41,200
Speaker 1: under your own power. There's something so incredibly empowering about that,

649
00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:44,319
Speaker 1: and it's really fun. But I guess the other thing

650
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:47,799
Speaker 1: I would tell people is it's a little bit like

651
00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:51,040
Speaker 1: running in that it is what you make it. So yeah,

652
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:54,040
Speaker 1: you can go out and smash a marathon at record speed,

653
00:35:54,480 --> 00:35:56,400
Speaker 1: or you can go for a job with your friends,

654
00:35:56,480 --> 00:35:58,719
Speaker 1: and it's super social and it doesn't have to hurt,

655
00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:02,280
Speaker 1: and it can be just fun and like a great workout,

656
00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:04,840
Speaker 1: and cross country skiing is the same way, like it

657
00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:06,840
Speaker 1: really is what you make it, and it can be

658
00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:07,880
Speaker 1: super social.

659
00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:26,359
Speaker 3: I know you played a lot of different sports when

660
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:28,960
Speaker 3: you were younger, and at one point you had aspirations

661
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:31,920
Speaker 3: to be a pole vaulter and a hurdler and a

662
00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:32,880
Speaker 3: triple jumper.

663
00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:36,160
Speaker 2: But what was it that made you choose to stick

664
00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:41,719
Speaker 2: with ski. I would say the people and the culture.

665
00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:43,200
Speaker 2: That's what really pulled me in.

666
00:36:43,320 --> 00:36:47,680
Speaker 1: It was just so welcoming and open and just it

667
00:36:47,719 --> 00:36:51,040
Speaker 1: was about trying your hardest and getting what you could

668
00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:54,239
Speaker 1: out of yourself in a race, but it wasn't just

669
00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:57,719
Speaker 1: focused on results, and it was just a really collaborative

670
00:36:57,760 --> 00:37:00,440
Speaker 1: team atmosphere, and I'm really really grateful for that, like

671
00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:03,440
Speaker 1: all the volunteer coaches, all my teammates, all the people

672
00:37:04,719 --> 00:37:08,759
Speaker 1: surrounding me in that community of skiing in the Midwest.

673
00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:11,880
Speaker 1: It was just like a beautiful way to get into

674
00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:15,080
Speaker 1: the sport and it made me just totally fall in

675
00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:19,040
Speaker 1: love with it. And then after that, once I started

676
00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:22,320
Speaker 1: racing more for the team because I was purely focused

677
00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:24,640
Speaker 1: on scoring points for the team. But then I slowly

678
00:37:24,680 --> 00:37:28,799
Speaker 1: started to realize, like, oh, I actually like racing, like

679
00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:31,439
Speaker 1: for the sake of racing, and like trying to beat

680
00:37:31,480 --> 00:37:34,640
Speaker 1: the clock on this course, and how fast can I

681
00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:37,320
Speaker 1: take these downhill corners and how you know, how quickly

682
00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:39,360
Speaker 1: can I scamper up these hills? And I started to

683
00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:42,520
Speaker 1: really get into the challenge of it too. So I

684
00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:46,680
Speaker 1: think something something about the challenge of the sport really

685
00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:49,920
Speaker 1: spoke to me. And maybe that's because it is so

686
00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:54,240
Speaker 1: different where you know, in track and field, for example,

687
00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:59,000
Speaker 1: you always have times, there are records, you know exactly

688
00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:02,200
Speaker 1: what work out splits. You know, here's my mile split,

689
00:38:02,239 --> 00:38:04,359
Speaker 1: here's my four hundred split. You know if you're on

690
00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:07,359
Speaker 1: track or not. It's very black and white that way.

691
00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:11,200
Speaker 1: But with cross country skiing, times are basically irrelevant because

692
00:38:11,239 --> 00:38:13,239
Speaker 1: the snow is different and the course is different, and

693
00:38:13,239 --> 00:38:16,040
Speaker 1: so you don't have splits, you don't have records. It's

694
00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:19,320
Speaker 1: just on this day, with this snow, on this course,

695
00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:22,440
Speaker 1: how hard can I go? And I was really drawn

696
00:38:22,480 --> 00:38:24,600
Speaker 1: to that. It was just a little bit different.

697
00:38:25,280 --> 00:38:29,120
Speaker 3: When did you get outside of the I want to

698
00:38:29,120 --> 00:38:32,200
Speaker 3: do the best I can for the team mentality and

699
00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:36,360
Speaker 3: start to embrace pushing the boundaries of your own potential

700
00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:38,759
Speaker 3: as a solo athlete.

701
00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:42,960
Speaker 1: I think around the time I started going to junior nationals,

702
00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:46,320
Speaker 1: when I was, oh, what was I then? Fifteen? Sixteen

703
00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:49,480
Speaker 1: years old, That's when I started realizing like, oh, like,

704
00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:53,440
Speaker 1: I'm really enjoying training hard and training in the summer

705
00:38:53,440 --> 00:38:56,000
Speaker 1: as well, and I'm really enjoying racing, and I think

706
00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:58,200
Speaker 1: I want to keep taking it to the next level

707
00:38:58,239 --> 00:39:00,920
Speaker 1: and see, like, can I race it junior nationals? Can

708
00:39:00,920 --> 00:39:04,640
Speaker 1: I receet senior nationals? Can I make the world Championship team?

709
00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:07,520
Speaker 1: But I will say I was all I was always

710
00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:10,680
Speaker 1: very focused on my team as well. Within that so,

711
00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:15,240
Speaker 1: even though racing is predominantly individual, we do have some relays,

712
00:39:15,239 --> 00:39:17,520
Speaker 1: but we don't get that many of them. It's mostly

713
00:39:17,520 --> 00:39:20,560
Speaker 1: an individual sport. But I am still so focused on

714
00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:22,919
Speaker 1: the way we train and support each other and push

715
00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:24,560
Speaker 1: each other to be better as a team.

716
00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:27,080
Speaker 3: We talked about how you like to push yourself when

717
00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:30,600
Speaker 3: it comes to racing. How have you learned to gauge

718
00:39:30,640 --> 00:39:34,160
Speaker 3: that when it comes to your training versus the effort

719
00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:36,359
Speaker 3: that you're going to put out on the big day.

720
00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:40,759
Speaker 1: Oh, that makes a lot of sense, because you can't

721
00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:44,279
Speaker 1: just go one hundred percent all the time. You're going

722
00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:48,640
Speaker 1: to burn out, you're gonna get overtrained injured. And that's

723
00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:51,719
Speaker 1: a really tricky line to walk, because I feel like

724
00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:53,759
Speaker 1: I'm always kind of trying to feather that line of

725
00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:57,359
Speaker 1: like how hard can I push it while still being

726
00:39:57,360 --> 00:39:59,719
Speaker 1: able to recover and come back from this, And so

727
00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:03,279
Speaker 1: I guess some of it is. Honestly, the answer is

728
00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:05,840
Speaker 1: I haven't done it well all the time. I've definitely

729
00:40:05,840 --> 00:40:09,000
Speaker 1: had years where I overtrained. In twenty fifteen, before the

730
00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:11,719
Speaker 1: World Championships, I had to give myself two weeks of

731
00:40:11,760 --> 00:40:14,880
Speaker 1: emergency rests, like a month or two before the season

732
00:40:14,880 --> 00:40:18,400
Speaker 1: started because I had overdone it and I was cooked,

733
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:21,880
Speaker 1: and I was able to come back and still salvage

734
00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:26,440
Speaker 1: a good season. But I think I've learned that I

735
00:40:26,480 --> 00:40:30,440
Speaker 1: have a few different tells when it comes to training

736
00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:33,120
Speaker 1: and when I'm starting to push it too hard. The

737
00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:35,799
Speaker 1: first is my mood. Like if I get sad for

738
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:39,640
Speaker 1: pretty much no explainable reason, I know I'm pretty tired,

739
00:40:39,719 --> 00:40:43,520
Speaker 1: because at baseline I'm a pretty happy person. And if

740
00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:45,960
Speaker 1: I'm just kind of out of it and like a

741
00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:48,759
Speaker 1: little bit melancholy for no reason. I'm like, oh that

742
00:40:49,239 --> 00:40:51,920
Speaker 1: I'm like starting to get deeply tired here, and I

743
00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:54,239
Speaker 1: need to be very careful that I'm not digging too

744
00:40:54,360 --> 00:40:56,239
Speaker 1: deep a hole because I need to climb back out

745
00:40:56,280 --> 00:41:00,600
Speaker 1: of this. And the other is like my sleep. How

746
00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:02,720
Speaker 1: you know if it's starting to be hard to sleep

747
00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:04,400
Speaker 1: or hard to get out of bed in the morning,

748
00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:07,120
Speaker 1: is it hard to get motivated or is it hard

749
00:41:07,160 --> 00:41:09,959
Speaker 1: for me to be motivated to train? Because the other thing,

750
00:41:10,480 --> 00:41:14,320
Speaker 1: besides being a pretty happy person, is that I love training,

751
00:41:14,560 --> 00:41:17,520
Speaker 1: Like I love going out there and pushing myself and

752
00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:20,800
Speaker 1: getting to be outside and even when we're not in

753
00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:23,600
Speaker 1: beautiful places, I just love the idea of getting to

754
00:41:23,680 --> 00:41:26,920
Speaker 1: challenge myself and trying to become one percent better. And

755
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:30,000
Speaker 1: if I wake up and I'm like, ah, I don't

756
00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:33,920
Speaker 1: really feel like it, then I'm like, WHOA, hit the brakes,

757
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:37,000
Speaker 1: Like this is a big deal because I'm I'm maybe

758
00:41:37,040 --> 00:41:39,240
Speaker 1: on the edge of being sick. I'm probably really tired,

759
00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:43,279
Speaker 1: and that I need to really pay attention to those

760
00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:44,840
Speaker 1: signals that I'm getting from my brain.

761
00:41:45,480 --> 00:41:49,880
Speaker 3: It's really impressive that you have that level of awareness

762
00:41:49,920 --> 00:41:56,960
Speaker 3: to signify when something isn't exactly going right, because so

763
00:41:57,239 --> 00:42:01,920
Speaker 3: many may have that awareness but not listen. And you

764
00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:05,200
Speaker 3: not only have it, but then also know your body

765
00:42:05,239 --> 00:42:07,960
Speaker 3: and yourself enough to say, okay, I need to shut

766
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:08,399
Speaker 3: it down.

767
00:42:09,719 --> 00:42:13,520
Speaker 1: Well, that only comes from the experience of not listening

768
00:42:13,880 --> 00:42:17,799
Speaker 1: a couple times, right, Yeah, So I had to learn

769
00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:20,040
Speaker 1: the hard way, which I think I mean to be honest,

770
00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:23,000
Speaker 1: I wish I was that person who could watch the

771
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:26,080
Speaker 1: mistakes of others and be like, aha, I've learned the secrets.

772
00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:27,120
Speaker 2: I will never do.

773
00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:30,279
Speaker 1: That, But like most people, I had to experience it

774
00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:34,320
Speaker 1: myself to be like, Okay, these are the serious warning signs,

775
00:42:34,360 --> 00:42:37,440
Speaker 1: and these are the things that I should not push through,

776
00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:39,799
Speaker 1: and these other things I can push through. And so

777
00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:42,960
Speaker 1: it's yeah, it's been a bit of trial and error

778
00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:44,799
Speaker 1: to get to this point, which is why it's so

779
00:42:44,920 --> 00:42:47,680
Speaker 1: fun being an older athlete, because you have all these

780
00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:50,600
Speaker 1: years and all these thousands of hours of training to

781
00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:54,280
Speaker 1: finally be able to use that knowledge that you've earned

782
00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:54,919
Speaker 1: the hard way.

783
00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:59,359
Speaker 3: I appreciate that older athlete and the age thirty three

784
00:42:59,680 --> 00:43:01,359
Speaker 3: really go hand in hand here.

785
00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:07,480
Speaker 1: Well, when you think about the general scheme of Olympic sports,

786
00:43:07,600 --> 00:43:08,600
Speaker 1: I'm on the older end.

787
00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:11,600
Speaker 2: What you're saying, though, is entirely understandable.

788
00:43:11,719 --> 00:43:16,000
Speaker 3: This concept that we can watch others struggle, but until

789
00:43:16,040 --> 00:43:18,520
Speaker 3: you go through the struggle yourself, you don't know how

790
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:21,320
Speaker 3: you are going to respond, and then you don't really

791
00:43:21,400 --> 00:43:26,440
Speaker 3: have that lesson necessarily ingrained. It's similar to the conversation

792
00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:29,600
Speaker 3: that we were having between injury and your eating disorder.

793
00:43:29,719 --> 00:43:29,879
Speaker 2: Right.

794
00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:34,359
Speaker 3: These are things that are so difficult and sad and

795
00:43:34,640 --> 00:43:38,400
Speaker 3: frustrating as we are experiencing them, But as with any hurdle,

796
00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:42,120
Speaker 3: they give us this opportunity to then decide that we

797
00:43:42,239 --> 00:43:46,000
Speaker 3: can move forward with this new information, equipping us for

798
00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:48,879
Speaker 3: whatever challenge or hurdle comes next.

799
00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:53,200
Speaker 1: Exactly. So I think it's nice to think, like, Okay,

800
00:43:53,239 --> 00:43:57,560
Speaker 1: this hard thing that I'm going through right now, this

801
00:43:57,840 --> 00:44:00,279
Speaker 1: is going to serve me in the future, whether it's

802
00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:03,799
Speaker 1: an injury, whether it's a mental injury, whether it's just

803
00:44:03,880 --> 00:44:06,240
Speaker 1: like oh, Ilverdy did it on the training Like I'm

804
00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:08,840
Speaker 1: this will serve me in the future because I'm learning

805
00:44:08,840 --> 00:44:11,719
Speaker 1: from this. I'm taking lessons, you know, and it's it's

806
00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:15,640
Speaker 1: not just pain and suffering for no reason, like I

807
00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:18,240
Speaker 1: am going to come back stronger, I'm going to build

808
00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:20,600
Speaker 1: from this, and then I won't make that same mistake,

809
00:44:20,840 --> 00:44:24,719
Speaker 1: or I'll recognize those warning signs, or if I have

810
00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:27,680
Speaker 1: another relapse, I know to tell people right away and

811
00:44:27,719 --> 00:44:30,360
Speaker 1: then I will suffer less. And so I think it's

812
00:44:30,719 --> 00:44:34,319
Speaker 1: there is something to the knowledge that at least you're

813
00:44:34,360 --> 00:44:37,720
Speaker 1: getting something, you know, some some crucial knowledge and insight

814
00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:38,120
Speaker 1: from it.

815
00:44:38,719 --> 00:44:41,200
Speaker 3: You touched on being a positive person. It would take

816
00:44:41,239 --> 00:44:43,960
Speaker 3: someone like one minute of listening to you speak to

817
00:44:44,040 --> 00:44:45,840
Speaker 3: agree with that sentiment.

818
00:44:46,080 --> 00:44:47,480
Speaker 2: What does Jesse.

819
00:44:47,640 --> 00:44:50,560
Speaker 3: Diggins do on the days where she's not feeling so

820
00:44:50,719 --> 00:44:54,880
Speaker 3: shiny or excited or stellar in her own body?

821
00:44:54,920 --> 00:44:55,920
Speaker 2: How do you handle that?

822
00:44:56,040 --> 00:44:59,440
Speaker 3: And what's your inner dialogue looking like these days?

823
00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:02,960
Speaker 1: That's a great question, especially right now because there is

824
00:45:03,160 --> 00:45:05,640
Speaker 1: starting to be some pressure building as we come to

825
00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:09,480
Speaker 1: the World Championships. And on the one hand, that's great.

826
00:45:09,760 --> 00:45:12,200
Speaker 1: I've worked my whole life to be in a position

827
00:45:12,520 --> 00:45:15,400
Speaker 1: of pressure, to be able to hold that and carry

828
00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:20,200
Speaker 1: that and be that person who can accept that pressure.

829
00:45:20,840 --> 00:45:24,160
Speaker 1: At the other, on the other side, like it sucks

830
00:45:24,719 --> 00:45:27,759
Speaker 1: to feel like everyone's watching you and wanting to see

831
00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:31,120
Speaker 1: you deliver something, and you can have those moments of

832
00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:33,600
Speaker 1: self doubt, like oh my gosh, Have I worked hard enough?

833
00:45:33,760 --> 00:45:34,920
Speaker 1: Have I worked too hard?

834
00:45:35,560 --> 00:45:35,799
Speaker 2: You know?

835
00:45:36,040 --> 00:45:38,160
Speaker 1: Am I resting enough? Am I resting too much?

836
00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:38,360
Speaker 2: You know?

837
00:45:38,440 --> 00:45:42,840
Speaker 1: It's so hard to know. And I'm not immune to

838
00:45:42,960 --> 00:45:47,600
Speaker 1: those moments of self doubt or self questioning and wondering,

839
00:45:47,800 --> 00:45:51,320
Speaker 1: you know, like, Wow, someday it will be so nice

840
00:45:51,400 --> 00:45:55,240
Speaker 1: when my body is not my job. Like, there's definitely

841
00:45:55,320 --> 00:45:58,920
Speaker 1: moments when I think about that. But on the other side,

842
00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:03,960
Speaker 1: what I ask myself when I'm going through those questioning

843
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:06,800
Speaker 1: moments and all those doubts is just a very simple question.

844
00:46:06,840 --> 00:46:09,239
Speaker 1: It's am I doing the best I can right now?

845
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:11,880
Speaker 1: And that's it. Am I doing the best I can?

846
00:46:12,360 --> 00:46:17,320
Speaker 1: And usually the answer is well, yeah, I am doing

847
00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:19,399
Speaker 1: the best I can, Like I'm putting my whole heart

848
00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:21,760
Speaker 1: out there, and I'm training as smart as I can,

849
00:46:21,840 --> 00:46:24,960
Speaker 1: and I'm making the best choices that I can in

850
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:27,520
Speaker 1: this moment with the information I have. And if the

851
00:46:27,560 --> 00:46:29,440
Speaker 1: answer is no, I'm not doing the best I can,

852
00:46:29,480 --> 00:46:31,400
Speaker 1: then I need to have a little conversation with myself.

853
00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:34,000
Speaker 1: It's like, well why not, Like, do you still love

854
00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:36,719
Speaker 1: what you're doing? Is this still the right goal for you?

855
00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:39,839
Speaker 1: Why is it that you think you need to feel

856
00:46:39,880 --> 00:46:42,440
Speaker 1: this pressure for World Championships. Is it to please other people?

857
00:46:42,520 --> 00:46:44,560
Speaker 1: Or is it because you want it? So then there's

858
00:46:44,560 --> 00:46:47,680
Speaker 1: some other conversations that need to happen. But if the

859
00:46:47,719 --> 00:46:50,360
Speaker 1: answer is yeah, I'm putting it all out there and

860
00:46:50,400 --> 00:46:53,239
Speaker 1: I'm doing the best, then are the best for me

861
00:46:53,600 --> 00:46:55,720
Speaker 1: in this moment doesn't have to be the best compared

862
00:46:55,719 --> 00:46:58,279
Speaker 1: to anyone else. Then I'm like, all right, I need

863
00:46:58,320 --> 00:47:00,720
Speaker 1: to be satisfied with that, because I I would never

864
00:47:00,920 --> 00:47:03,920
Speaker 1: turn to a teammate or a friend or a family

865
00:47:03,920 --> 00:47:06,520
Speaker 1: member who is doing their best and be like, it's

866
00:47:06,560 --> 00:47:09,200
Speaker 1: not good enough. I would never say that to anyone else,

867
00:47:09,239 --> 00:47:10,920
Speaker 1: So why would I say that to myself?

868
00:47:11,640 --> 00:47:12,040
Speaker 2: Yeah?

869
00:47:12,080 --> 00:47:16,520
Speaker 3: Wow, you're asking yourself so many great questions in your

870
00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:20,799
Speaker 3: process here, which beckons the question from me. Have you

871
00:47:20,920 --> 00:47:26,000
Speaker 3: ever set out for a specific goal, done this level

872
00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:29,840
Speaker 3: of inquiry on the journey to that goal, and made

873
00:47:30,160 --> 00:47:32,400
Speaker 3: the decision that you wanted to pivot?

874
00:47:33,120 --> 00:47:37,920
Speaker 1: You know? And I don't think so. And here's why,

875
00:47:38,120 --> 00:47:42,880
Speaker 1: Because most of my goals are process oriented. Very very

876
00:47:42,920 --> 00:47:46,640
Speaker 1: few goals are actually about the outcome. And so I think,

877
00:47:46,680 --> 00:47:49,239
Speaker 1: if if all my goals were outcome, I want to

878
00:47:49,239 --> 00:47:51,799
Speaker 1: win this Olympic race. I want that medal. I want

879
00:47:51,800 --> 00:47:54,120
Speaker 1: to win this thing. If it was all based on

880
00:47:54,160 --> 00:47:58,560
Speaker 1: the outcome, at some point I might go do I

881
00:47:58,719 --> 00:48:03,040
Speaker 1: actually want that? Or do I think that somebody wants

882
00:48:03,080 --> 00:48:06,239
Speaker 1: me to want that? But most of my goals, like

883
00:48:06,320 --> 00:48:08,680
Speaker 1: every year, when I sit down in May with my

884
00:48:08,760 --> 00:48:10,960
Speaker 1: coach and I write out, like here's what I want

885
00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:13,120
Speaker 1: to do this year, I have a whole section. These

886
00:48:13,160 --> 00:48:16,120
Speaker 1: are like my community give back goals. These are my

887
00:48:16,239 --> 00:48:17,839
Speaker 1: day to day goals. Here's how I want to take

888
00:48:17,880 --> 00:48:20,520
Speaker 1: care of myself. And I'm like, you know, when I retire,

889
00:48:20,640 --> 00:48:22,560
Speaker 1: I'm still going to have those goals of taking care

890
00:48:22,600 --> 00:48:24,840
Speaker 1: of myself. Like I'm still going to want to talk

891
00:48:25,120 --> 00:48:27,640
Speaker 1: to a therapist just because I think it's healthy. I'm

892
00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:29,359
Speaker 1: still going to want to get eight hours of sleep

893
00:48:29,400 --> 00:48:31,680
Speaker 1: because I think that's great. Like those are never going

894
00:48:31,760 --> 00:48:33,799
Speaker 1: to change. Those are goals that I want from me

895
00:48:34,280 --> 00:48:38,839
Speaker 1: for my life because I think it's important. And similarly,

896
00:48:38,920 --> 00:48:41,319
Speaker 1: like my process goals with skiing is just how can

897
00:48:41,360 --> 00:48:44,040
Speaker 1: I become the best athlete that I can be And

898
00:48:44,080 --> 00:48:47,640
Speaker 1: it's not in comparison to anybody else, And so for

899
00:48:47,719 --> 00:48:49,799
Speaker 1: me that's been a really important thing that it's all

900
00:48:49,840 --> 00:48:55,600
Speaker 1: about this process of striving, but it's not about measuring you.

901
00:48:55,640 --> 00:48:55,719
Speaker 2: Know.

902
00:48:55,719 --> 00:49:00,719
Speaker 3: What I appreciate about this is that through your process goals,

903
00:49:01,080 --> 00:49:06,440
Speaker 3: you are working toward bigger benchmarks. So it's not like

904
00:49:06,600 --> 00:49:10,600
Speaker 3: you said earlier this year, I'm going to win this

905
00:49:10,680 --> 00:49:11,360
Speaker 3: World Cup.

906
00:49:11,640 --> 00:49:11,879
Speaker 2: Right.

907
00:49:12,120 --> 00:49:16,359
Speaker 3: You set out personal goals that enabled you as an

908
00:49:16,360 --> 00:49:19,600
Speaker 3: individual athlete to perform in such a way that got

909
00:49:19,640 --> 00:49:22,799
Speaker 3: you to this next landmark.

910
00:49:22,920 --> 00:49:23,120
Speaker 2: Right.

911
00:49:23,280 --> 00:49:25,759
Speaker 3: So I think that that's a really interesting way to

912
00:49:25,920 --> 00:49:29,239
Speaker 3: view goal setting and to view someone going after their

913
00:49:29,280 --> 00:49:34,240
Speaker 3: own potential is really both in evaluating the journey along

914
00:49:34,280 --> 00:49:37,279
Speaker 3: the way and then setting yourself up for success by

915
00:49:38,239 --> 00:49:41,960
Speaker 3: ideating what does success feel like for me in my

916
00:49:42,160 --> 00:49:43,480
Speaker 3: body as an individual?

917
00:49:44,680 --> 00:49:48,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I couldn't agree more because I think my

918
00:49:48,920 --> 00:49:51,640
Speaker 1: goals might be different than someone else's goals, and that's okay.

919
00:49:51,719 --> 00:49:54,000
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to reach my potential. And I think

920
00:49:54,480 --> 00:49:59,520
Speaker 1: where people often struggle, I think is where the goal

921
00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:02,960
Speaker 1: they set but isn't consistent with what they're willing to

922
00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:06,120
Speaker 1: put in in order to achieve it. And I think

923
00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:08,520
Speaker 1: that's when you get this mismatch where you're going to

924
00:50:08,520 --> 00:50:13,160
Speaker 1: set yourself up feeling disappointed or frustrated or angry that

925
00:50:13,160 --> 00:50:15,840
Speaker 1: you're not meeting this goal. But if you're honest with

926
00:50:16,360 --> 00:50:18,720
Speaker 1: here's what I want to achieve and here's the amount

927
00:50:18,760 --> 00:50:21,920
Speaker 1: of work I'm willing to put in, and those are aligned,

928
00:50:22,560 --> 00:50:25,600
Speaker 1: then you're going to feel satisfied whether or not you're

929
00:50:25,640 --> 00:50:29,000
Speaker 1: actually reaching the goal. You know that you're actually putting

930
00:50:29,040 --> 00:50:31,879
Speaker 1: in the true, honest effort that it takes to give

931
00:50:31,920 --> 00:50:34,640
Speaker 1: yourself that best shot of making it happen.

932
00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:35,680
Speaker 2: One hundred percent.

933
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:40,040
Speaker 3: And that's why it's so important to be realistic or

934
00:50:40,280 --> 00:50:44,120
Speaker 3: make a relevant goal right. So I always give this example, like, say,

935
00:50:44,120 --> 00:50:47,480
Speaker 3: if you're someone that wants to drink more water, and

936
00:50:47,560 --> 00:50:51,440
Speaker 3: quantifiably you hear that you're supposed to drink eight glasses

937
00:50:51,480 --> 00:50:53,600
Speaker 3: of water each day, so you set the goal to

938
00:50:53,680 --> 00:50:57,080
Speaker 3: drink eight glasses of water a day. But you're someone

939
00:50:57,080 --> 00:50:59,920
Speaker 3: that's only drinking one right now, then you might not

940
00:51:00,200 --> 00:51:02,560
Speaker 3: be willing to put in the effort that is required

941
00:51:02,600 --> 00:51:05,680
Speaker 3: to drink eight. You could be better off if you

942
00:51:05,719 --> 00:51:08,840
Speaker 3: set a goal to drink three, right, And there's nothing

943
00:51:08,920 --> 00:51:12,839
Speaker 3: wrong with drinking three, especially if that's up from drinking one.

944
00:51:13,239 --> 00:51:16,000
Speaker 3: The only person that will say something is wrong with

945
00:51:16,120 --> 00:51:19,759
Speaker 3: drinking three is you. If you compare yourself to the

946
00:51:19,760 --> 00:51:21,000
Speaker 3: person that's drinking eight.

947
00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:25,680
Speaker 1: That's a great analogy because I think if you set

948
00:51:25,719 --> 00:51:29,520
Speaker 1: a goal that is is a reach, you know, challenge yourself,

949
00:51:29,840 --> 00:51:32,320
Speaker 1: but it has to be realistic with what you're willing

950
00:51:32,360 --> 00:51:34,440
Speaker 1: to put in to reach for it. And then I

951
00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:37,880
Speaker 1: think you're you're going to feel satisfied in the quest

952
00:51:37,880 --> 00:51:39,839
Speaker 1: for it too. And that's the other part that I'm

953
00:51:39,880 --> 00:51:42,400
Speaker 1: realizing is you know, like in this build up to

954
00:51:42,400 --> 00:51:44,759
Speaker 1: World Champs. For example, the other day, I went for

955
00:51:44,840 --> 00:51:47,839
Speaker 1: this beautiful hike and it was sunset, and I made

956
00:51:47,880 --> 00:51:49,759
Speaker 1: a new friend and we went to the top of

957
00:51:49,800 --> 00:51:52,680
Speaker 1: this mountain and we drank tea and ate pastries and

958
00:51:52,719 --> 00:51:55,680
Speaker 1: it was just wonderful, and I was like, man, I'm

959
00:51:55,800 --> 00:52:00,280
Speaker 1: so happy that I'm enjoying each little stepping stone along

960
00:52:00,320 --> 00:52:03,440
Speaker 1: the way. It's not, oh, I'll only be happy if

961
00:52:03,480 --> 00:52:06,200
Speaker 1: I win World Champs. No, it's I'm going to be

962
00:52:06,280 --> 00:52:08,680
Speaker 1: happy if I put everything that I can into this,

963
00:52:08,760 --> 00:52:10,880
Speaker 1: if I'm doing the best I can every day, and

964
00:52:10,960 --> 00:52:13,640
Speaker 1: if I'm taking the moment or the time in the

965
00:52:13,640 --> 00:52:16,680
Speaker 1: moment to be like, oh, I'm in a beautiful place.

966
00:52:17,239 --> 00:52:19,919
Speaker 1: I love training. I love the fact that I get

967
00:52:19,960 --> 00:52:22,640
Speaker 1: to hike up this mountain right now, which three weeks

968
00:52:22,680 --> 00:52:25,040
Speaker 1: ago I couldn't do with where my foot was at. Like,

969
00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:28,640
Speaker 1: I'm appreciating things so much more, but it's something that

970
00:52:28,719 --> 00:52:32,040
Speaker 1: can sometimes get lost when you get so focused on

971
00:52:32,080 --> 00:52:36,200
Speaker 1: the end goal or the outcome and the physical, like

972
00:52:36,320 --> 00:52:40,640
Speaker 1: tangible result. But I'm trying to remember to step back

973
00:52:40,680 --> 00:52:44,200
Speaker 1: and enjoy even the struggle in all these little pieces

974
00:52:44,239 --> 00:52:46,640
Speaker 1: along the way, because there's something unique in that and

975
00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:47,840
Speaker 1: there's something to be learned.

976
00:52:48,400 --> 00:52:53,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, and there's something really beautiful about your appreciation for

977
00:52:53,160 --> 00:52:56,799
Speaker 3: every little step. But also that appreciation comes from a

978
00:52:56,840 --> 00:53:01,319
Speaker 3: willingness and a desire to be present in me every moment, right,

979
00:53:01,360 --> 00:53:06,160
Speaker 3: because that presence is what enables you to have the

980
00:53:06,200 --> 00:53:09,440
Speaker 3: gratitude for what is instead of again those words that

981
00:53:09,480 --> 00:53:13,560
Speaker 3: we were using before, comparison or asking yourself what else

982
00:53:13,680 --> 00:53:14,320
Speaker 3: or who else?

983
00:53:14,440 --> 00:53:14,680
Speaker 2: Right?

984
00:53:14,840 --> 00:53:18,120
Speaker 3: So that presence in your day to day is something

985
00:53:18,120 --> 00:53:18,960
Speaker 3: that's really special.

986
00:53:20,239 --> 00:53:22,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's something I don't ever want to lose.

987
00:53:22,920 --> 00:53:25,680
Speaker 1: I think that's that's and it's not something that I've

988
00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:28,399
Speaker 1: always had too, I should say, like I've also it's

989
00:53:28,480 --> 00:53:31,560
Speaker 1: taken work to be like, yeah, I need to ground

990
00:53:31,600 --> 00:53:34,040
Speaker 1: myself in this moment and enjoy the thing that I'm

991
00:53:34,080 --> 00:53:36,840
Speaker 1: doing right now. I don't always need to be like

992
00:53:36,960 --> 00:53:40,160
Speaker 1: looking head, looking head, looking ahead. And that's something that I,

993
00:53:40,480 --> 00:53:43,120
Speaker 1: I mean, I struggled with at the twenty eighteen Olympics.

994
00:53:43,120 --> 00:53:45,239
Speaker 1: I'd finish a race and like, all right, I have

995
00:53:45,280 --> 00:53:48,080
Speaker 1: to I have to recover, I have to do this,

996
00:53:48,120 --> 00:53:49,680
Speaker 1: I have to cool down, I have to do this thing.

997
00:53:50,280 --> 00:53:53,360
Speaker 1: And even after we won the race, I remember my

998
00:53:53,440 --> 00:53:56,920
Speaker 1: mom just being like, slow down. You will do all

999
00:53:56,960 --> 00:53:59,960
Speaker 1: those things. It's hardwired into you. There's no possible way

1000
00:54:00,120 --> 00:54:03,959
Speaker 1: you're going to forget to cool down. But just take

1001
00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:07,160
Speaker 1: a moment and like, enjoy this second that you're in,

1002
00:54:07,280 --> 00:54:09,759
Speaker 1: Like you've worked your whole life for this. Yes, you

1003
00:54:09,800 --> 00:54:11,480
Speaker 1: have other races coming up and you want to be

1004
00:54:11,520 --> 00:54:12,879
Speaker 1: there for the team and you want to be there

1005
00:54:12,880 --> 00:54:16,520
Speaker 1: for yourself, but just appreciate the second that you're in.

1006
00:54:16,560 --> 00:54:18,799
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh my god, you're right. Like

1007
00:54:18,880 --> 00:54:22,360
Speaker 1: I was rushing through everything just because I was trying

1008
00:54:22,520 --> 00:54:27,279
Speaker 1: so hard to do everything, you know, quote exactly right right,

1009
00:54:27,320 --> 00:54:30,200
Speaker 1: and it's okay to take a second and actually appreciate it.

1010
00:54:30,239 --> 00:54:33,480
Speaker 1: And I think I've finally started to get better at

1011
00:54:33,800 --> 00:54:39,200
Speaker 1: appreciating and the winds too, not just the every day,

1012
00:54:39,280 --> 00:54:41,680
Speaker 1: but like it's okay to actually take a moment and

1013
00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:43,920
Speaker 1: enjoy this. I don't have to rush to do the

1014
00:54:43,960 --> 00:54:44,680
Speaker 1: next right thing.

1015
00:54:45,360 --> 00:54:48,480
Speaker 3: There's so much power in celebrating the moments, whether they

1016
00:54:48,600 --> 00:54:51,960
Speaker 3: be small or big. Right, And oh my god, the

1017
00:54:52,040 --> 00:54:56,160
Speaker 3: emotion that's triggered when I watched that win from twenty eighteen.

1018
00:54:56,400 --> 00:54:57,440
Speaker 2: It's so special.

1019
00:54:57,640 --> 00:55:00,319
Speaker 3: And I do remember in the NBC report and you

1020
00:55:00,920 --> 00:55:03,680
Speaker 3: were saying that what was so impactful for you was

1021
00:55:03,800 --> 00:55:09,160
Speaker 3: watching the reaction videos to the win, right, seeing all

1022
00:55:09,200 --> 00:55:14,440
Speaker 3: of the young women that were so amazed and marveling

1023
00:55:14,640 --> 00:55:18,879
Speaker 3: at this accomplishment of an American woman. Right, how does

1024
00:55:18,920 --> 00:55:22,440
Speaker 3: it feel for you to be a role model and

1025
00:55:22,480 --> 00:55:26,480
Speaker 3: to know that you are for some on this podium

1026
00:55:26,560 --> 00:55:27,399
Speaker 3: of sorts?

1027
00:55:28,800 --> 00:55:32,440
Speaker 1: That is wild And it's a feeling I'm still getting trying.

1028
00:55:32,160 --> 00:55:32,719
Speaker 2: To get used to.

1029
00:55:32,920 --> 00:55:34,800
Speaker 1: Or maybe I'll never get used to it, actually, so

1030
00:55:34,800 --> 00:55:36,200
Speaker 1: I'm not going to try to get used to it.

1031
00:55:36,280 --> 00:55:40,719
Speaker 1: But it is wild, and it is honestly, it's a

1032
00:55:40,760 --> 00:55:43,200
Speaker 1: really big privilege and it's an honor and it's something

1033
00:55:43,239 --> 00:55:46,160
Speaker 1: that I don't take lightly. I recognize that there are

1034
00:55:46,160 --> 00:55:50,439
Speaker 1: a lot of little kids watching, and I think it's

1035
00:55:50,600 --> 00:55:53,480
Speaker 1: really cool to be able to inspire with the big

1036
00:55:53,480 --> 00:55:56,160
Speaker 1: moments when you win. But I feel it even more

1037
00:55:56,160 --> 00:55:59,279
Speaker 1: acutely in the moments when everything goes wrong and when

1038
00:55:59,320 --> 00:56:01,680
Speaker 1: you don't win, and how do you react? You know,

1039
00:56:01,680 --> 00:56:03,840
Speaker 1: there's a lot of kids watching. Are you the person

1040
00:56:03,840 --> 00:56:07,040
Speaker 1: who throws a fit and you know, breaks your pull,

1041
00:56:07,080 --> 00:56:09,480
Speaker 1: over your knee and storms off, or are you the

1042
00:56:09,520 --> 00:56:13,919
Speaker 1: person that congratulates the people you're racing against, still goes

1043
00:56:13,960 --> 00:56:17,400
Speaker 1: over thanks the wax, thanks the coaches, Like do you

1044
00:56:17,440 --> 00:56:19,279
Speaker 1: hold your head high and say, hey, look, I did

1045
00:56:19,320 --> 00:56:21,640
Speaker 1: everything I could and I've earned the right to be

1046
00:56:21,640 --> 00:56:24,120
Speaker 1: proud of my effort today. And I think that's the

1047
00:56:24,320 --> 00:56:28,120
Speaker 1: moment when I feel most like a role model. It's

1048
00:56:28,160 --> 00:56:30,160
Speaker 1: not when I win, but it's actually what I lose

1049
00:56:30,200 --> 00:56:35,880
Speaker 1: spectacularly and still hold my head high that I'm like, Okay,

1050
00:56:36,040 --> 00:56:38,680
Speaker 1: this is what these kids need to see right now,

1051
00:56:39,239 --> 00:56:41,760
Speaker 1: because it needs to be about more than just winning,

1052
00:56:42,239 --> 00:56:45,239
Speaker 1: Like you need to show that your self worth is

1053
00:56:45,400 --> 00:56:49,439
Speaker 1: not directly tied to the number next to your name

1054
00:56:49,520 --> 00:56:50,400
Speaker 1: on the result sheet.

1055
00:56:51,160 --> 00:56:53,480
Speaker 3: It's so true, it's so true, and it's such a

1056
00:56:53,760 --> 00:56:56,840
Speaker 3: such a special and unique opportunity that you have someone

1057
00:56:56,920 --> 00:57:00,399
Speaker 3: right now goes to maybe your Instagram page and they

1058
00:57:00,440 --> 00:57:03,239
Speaker 3: see you're an Olympic medalist, you're a world champion, you're

1059
00:57:03,280 --> 00:57:06,000
Speaker 3: an author, you're a speaker. There's something like two hundred

1060
00:57:06,040 --> 00:57:09,680
Speaker 3: and forty thousand plus people that keep up with you.

1061
00:57:10,040 --> 00:57:12,880
Speaker 3: But when you're at home, Jesse, and you look in

1062
00:57:12,920 --> 00:57:15,560
Speaker 3: the mirror, what is it that you see looking back

1063
00:57:15,719 --> 00:57:16,040
Speaker 3: at you.

1064
00:57:17,200 --> 00:57:28,120
Speaker 1: Oh, I see someone who loves her family and her

1065
00:57:28,200 --> 00:57:32,080
Speaker 1: husband very much. And I see someone who loves what

1066
00:57:32,160 --> 00:57:35,480
Speaker 1: she does and is super lucky to get to do

1067
00:57:35,520 --> 00:57:39,440
Speaker 1: it every day. And I see someone who tries really hard.

1068
00:57:40,080 --> 00:57:43,120
Speaker 1: More than anything, like, I just see someone who likes

1069
00:57:43,160 --> 00:57:45,960
Speaker 1: to work hard and is always going to be trying

1070
00:57:46,040 --> 00:57:47,840
Speaker 1: hard at whatever it is that she does.

1071
00:57:48,600 --> 00:57:51,480
Speaker 3: I hear it in your voice that sometimes the trying

1072
00:57:52,120 --> 00:57:53,440
Speaker 3: can be a little exhausting.

1073
00:57:53,720 --> 00:57:54,560
Speaker 2: Is that how you feel?

1074
00:57:55,840 --> 00:58:00,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, Sometimes it's sometimes it hurts to care so much,

1075
00:58:00,560 --> 00:58:03,840
Speaker 1: and sometimes it hurts to put your heart and soul

1076
00:58:03,880 --> 00:58:07,120
Speaker 1: into something and not have it work out, or to

1077
00:58:07,400 --> 00:58:12,160
Speaker 1: feel like it is so much work. But at the

1078
00:58:12,160 --> 00:58:16,880
Speaker 1: same time, I think the magic is in trying hard

1079
00:58:17,080 --> 00:58:19,320
Speaker 1: at something. It's not really whether or not you get it.

1080
00:58:19,360 --> 00:58:22,320
Speaker 1: Because everyone goes to the Olympics and wants to win,

1081
00:58:22,480 --> 00:58:25,880
Speaker 1: and only only one person is going to win, and

1082
00:58:26,240 --> 00:58:30,120
Speaker 1: everyone gets the opportunity to go out there and try

1083
00:58:30,800 --> 00:58:35,080
Speaker 1: and push themselves and challenge themselves and get out there

1084
00:58:35,160 --> 00:58:39,080
Speaker 1: and see where their limits are. And that's so cool

1085
00:58:39,120 --> 00:58:43,080
Speaker 1: and that's so beautiful, and so I think in some ways, yeah,

1086
00:58:43,120 --> 00:58:46,439
Speaker 1: it is exhausting and sometimes it hurts to care so much.

1087
00:58:46,520 --> 00:58:49,160
Speaker 1: But on the other side, I think it's so cool

1088
00:58:49,240 --> 00:58:51,080
Speaker 1: that we always just get to go out there and

1089
00:58:51,240 --> 00:58:52,960
Speaker 1: try hard at something, whether or not.

1090
00:58:52,920 --> 00:58:53,439
Speaker 2: We're the best.

1091
00:58:53,560 --> 00:58:55,520
Speaker 1: Everyone gets the opportunity to go try.

1092
00:58:56,280 --> 00:58:58,680
Speaker 2: Everyone gets the opportunity to go try.

1093
00:58:58,960 --> 00:59:01,360
Speaker 3: Jesse, the final question for you here, right now, you

1094
00:59:01,360 --> 00:59:04,400
Speaker 3: have an opportunity to offer yourself a piece of advice

1095
00:59:04,880 --> 00:59:07,280
Speaker 3: going through the hurdle moment. I mean, let's go back

1096
00:59:07,280 --> 00:59:08,960
Speaker 3: to a year and a half ago, right, Let's go

1097
00:59:09,040 --> 00:59:13,040
Speaker 3: back to feeling as though you failed a little bit

1098
00:59:13,320 --> 00:59:16,880
Speaker 3: in this relapse, coming out and speaking to your care

1099
00:59:16,920 --> 00:59:19,040
Speaker 3: team and then opening up with your community about what

1100
00:59:19,040 --> 00:59:22,400
Speaker 3: you were enduring. Knowing what you know now, what advice

1101
00:59:22,440 --> 00:59:25,040
Speaker 3: would you give to yourself during that hurdle moment.

1102
00:59:25,640 --> 00:59:28,120
Speaker 1: You don't have to be so hard on yourself. You

1103
00:59:28,160 --> 00:59:31,960
Speaker 1: are good enough exactly as you are. And that makes

1104
00:59:31,960 --> 00:59:33,560
Speaker 1: me a little bit sad to say, because there was

1105
00:59:33,600 --> 00:59:36,240
Speaker 1: a moment in which I couldn't look in the mirror

1106
00:59:36,320 --> 00:59:38,680
Speaker 1: and say you are good enough. I literally couldn't do it.

1107
00:59:38,800 --> 00:59:40,560
Speaker 1: My coach challenged me to do it, and I just

1108
00:59:40,600 --> 00:59:43,760
Speaker 1: started crying, like I couldn't tell myself you're good enough

1109
00:59:44,040 --> 00:59:47,000
Speaker 1: as you are, like warts and all, you know, like

1110
00:59:47,160 --> 00:59:50,880
Speaker 1: it's totally fine. And that was really hard for me.

1111
00:59:50,920 --> 00:59:53,320
Speaker 1: And so I wish I could go back and tell myself, like,

1112
00:59:53,600 --> 00:59:56,120
Speaker 1: you do not have to be perfect, because I think

1113
00:59:56,840 --> 00:59:59,240
Speaker 1: every time I've gotten into big trouble in my life,

1114
00:59:59,280 --> 01:00:04,560
Speaker 1: it's coming from this intense drive to try to be perfect.

1115
01:00:05,240 --> 01:00:08,000
Speaker 1: And it is okay to be imperfect, Like it is

1116
01:00:08,080 --> 01:00:14,080
Speaker 1: my flaws that make me interesting and relatable and a funny,

1117
01:00:14,120 --> 01:00:18,560
Speaker 1: quirky little person, and that's okay. You know, perfect would

1118
01:00:18,600 --> 01:00:22,280
Speaker 1: be so boring, and so I would say, like, stop

1119
01:00:22,360 --> 01:00:24,919
Speaker 1: reaching for that, just keep doing the best you can.

1120
01:00:25,040 --> 01:00:26,960
Speaker 1: But it does not have to be perfect.

1121
01:00:27,960 --> 01:00:30,280
Speaker 3: Just keep doing the best you can. But it doesn't

1122
01:00:30,320 --> 01:00:32,600
Speaker 3: have to be perfect. I love it, Jesse. For those

1123
01:00:32,640 --> 01:00:36,160
Speaker 3: that aren't following you yet on social media, give us

1124
01:00:36,160 --> 01:00:36,600
Speaker 3: the details.

1125
01:00:36,640 --> 01:00:38,560
Speaker 2: How do they do that? Yeah?

1126
01:00:38,640 --> 01:00:42,800
Speaker 1: I met Jesse Diggins on Instagram and my website is

1127
01:00:42,880 --> 01:00:46,920
Speaker 1: Jessediggins dot com and that's probably yeah. I would say

1128
01:00:46,960 --> 01:00:49,080
Speaker 1: Instagram is probably the best way to keep up with

1129
01:00:49,120 --> 01:00:49,680
Speaker 1: what I'm up to.

1130
01:00:50,280 --> 01:00:52,800
Speaker 3: With what I'm up to, I'm over at Emily Abadie

1131
01:00:52,840 --> 01:00:55,280
Speaker 3: and at Hurdle Podcast. Jesse, thank you so much for

1132
01:00:55,320 --> 01:00:59,920
Speaker 3: everything today. This was a joy, truly another Hurdle conguer.

1133
01:01:00,440 --> 01:01:01,480
Speaker 3: Catch you guys next time.

1134
01:01:10,960 --> 01:01:11,000
Speaker 2: H