WEBVTT - Thursday Therapy: Earning Your Happy

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<v Speaker 1>Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>All Right, this week's Thursday Therapy. We've got podcaster Lorie

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<v Speaker 2>Harder on. She's got a podcast called Earn Your Happy.

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<v Speaker 2>Find your purpose, build your network, and make money doing

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<v Speaker 2>what you love. With Earn your Happy, a motivation packed podcast,

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<v Speaker 2>she says, you'll think bigger, dig deeper, and gain the

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<v Speaker 2>confidence to go for your world dominating goals. So let's

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<v Speaker 2>see how to do it. Let's get her on. Hi, Hi,

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<v Speaker 2>how are you. I'm I'm good. I love you. I

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<v Speaker 2>love everything that you do. And one of the things

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<v Speaker 2>though I didn't know about you is I didn't know

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<v Speaker 2>your high school dropout. Yeah, when did you leave high school?

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<v Speaker 1>Well? I was homeschooled through high school. So I literally

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<v Speaker 1>started homeschooling in eighth grade and honestly like didn't do

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<v Speaker 1>much schoolwork because my parents never monitored it whatsoever. So

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<v Speaker 1>I probably still have an eighth grade level in multiple things.

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<v Speaker 1>And I actually love sharing that because it's such so

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<v Speaker 1>many people have the education excuse, and I'm like, yo,

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<v Speaker 1>like you can you can go and do and create

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<v Speaker 1>whatever you want. So yeah, I mean that was that

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<v Speaker 1>was so probably you know, like fifteen or sixteen, I

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<v Speaker 1>really stopped doing anything with school.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm curious about the homeschooling. How did you choose to

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<v Speaker 2>be homeschooled or did you want or was it something

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<v Speaker 2>that like your parents wanted for you.

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<v Speaker 1>It was a little bit of both. My parents didn't

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<v Speaker 1>necessarily want it for the education purposes, but I was

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<v Speaker 1>raised in a more restrictive religion. I was raised as

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<v Speaker 1>a Jehovah's witness, so it was more important for me

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<v Speaker 1>to go door to door every day and talk about

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<v Speaker 1>the Bible than it was to go to school. So

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of people in my congregation were getting homeschooled.

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<v Speaker 1>In fact, I'd probably say like seventy percent of the

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<v Speaker 1>kids were, and it was almost like this weird badge

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<v Speaker 1>of honor to be homeschooled, to go like more into,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, talking about the religion.

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<v Speaker 2>So I think it's an interesting thing that you said

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<v Speaker 2>to about the education, because I mean, I barely graduated

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<v Speaker 2>high school. The only reason I think I graduate is yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I mean I was not the smartest. But I think

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<v Speaker 2>a lot of it was my you know, my parents

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<v Speaker 2>divorced when I was thirteen years old, and my dad,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, he moved out of the house and my mom,

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<v Speaker 2>I mean and even him too, Like they weren't I

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<v Speaker 2>didn't take the essayts I didn't have I just kind

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<v Speaker 2>of got by and I wasn't you know, I wasn't.

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<v Speaker 2>I was kind of a B C average, like not average,

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<v Speaker 2>like I don't like sees average student, but like they

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<v Speaker 2>didn't really enforce good grades, if that makes sense. Like

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<v Speaker 2>they were just kind of like, oh, great, you got

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<v Speaker 2>to see and I'm like, okay, cool, you know, so

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't really put even even I tried really hard

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<v Speaker 2>when it came to math I did. I never understand it.

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<v Speaker 2>I still this day will not understand it. But you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I think a piece of me now as a parent,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, okay, I think I need to kind of

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<v Speaker 2>split the difference because I love that they weren't super

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<v Speaker 2>strict on me, but at the same time, I wish

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<v Speaker 2>they were a little bit more because all my friends

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<v Speaker 2>are like, oh I got this and that I felt

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<v Speaker 2>a little dumb, you know, and I think I then

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<v Speaker 2>would like make comments to be like oh yeah, and

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<v Speaker 2>then they're like, oh, what are you going to do.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, well, I'm not going to get into a college,

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<v Speaker 2>so I either have to go to a community college

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<v Speaker 2>or I'm going to follow my dreams and go be

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<v Speaker 2>an actress. And it's like I felt, Yeah, I felt

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<v Speaker 2>like my friends were laughing at me in a way,

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<v Speaker 2>and not that they were. They're probably so supportive, but

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<v Speaker 2>that's how internally I was like, well, you're stupid. You

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<v Speaker 2>can't go to college anyways, and so you know, obviously

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<v Speaker 2>I went to follow my dreams. When I look at

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<v Speaker 2>like my mom's generation, and you know, she didn't go

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<v Speaker 2>to college, and so her thing was always like, well,

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<v Speaker 2>I can't have this job because you need an education.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, yeah, but there's so many things that you've

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<v Speaker 2>wanted to do and you haven't done them because you're

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<v Speaker 2>just basing things off of you don't have a college graduate.

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<v Speaker 2>Like she wanted to be like a hairdresser and like

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<v Speaker 2>in or really follow her dreams with that, but she's like,

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<v Speaker 2>well that doesn't make money, and then I want to

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<v Speaker 2>do this, but I need an education. So I'm like, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>but you don't. Really. I'm like, look at like kind

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<v Speaker 2>of what I would teach my kids now, it's like

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<v Speaker 2>I want you to have the education. At the same time,

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<v Speaker 2>you can build so much more as well, like, look

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<v Speaker 2>at how I've been able to do my life from

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<v Speaker 2>not having a degree. So it's I don't know, I'm

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<v Speaker 2>just I'm curious, like where you've kind of found that

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<v Speaker 2>balance in any advice you could give.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I feel I think I feel very similar to

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<v Speaker 1>you that I wish that there was a bit of

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<v Speaker 1>an expectation there because I think I would have at

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<v Speaker 1>least risen to half of it right whereas I was,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, I was a very free spirit still totally am.

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<v Speaker 1>Like it is a challenge for me to set up

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<v Speaker 1>structure in systems, and I really thrive in it, but

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<v Speaker 1>it is not my it is opposite of my strength.

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<v Speaker 1>And so now it's like, you know, it's interesting because

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<v Speaker 1>back when you were talking about your mom, like, the

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<v Speaker 1>conversation around education was it was so important and you

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<v Speaker 1>had to have it if you thought you were going

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<v Speaker 1>to get a good job. And even even you know,

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<v Speaker 1>when I'm thinking back when I was like twenty in

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<v Speaker 1>first on my own, I lived in a city called Madison, Wisconsin,

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<v Speaker 1>and they were so all about college there because it

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<v Speaker 1>was a big college town. And I remember waitressing and

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<v Speaker 1>people being like, what school are you in what college

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<v Speaker 1>are you in? In the second that I would say I wasn't,

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<v Speaker 1>they were like, oh that's too bad, Like what are

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<v Speaker 1>you going to do with your life? And so I

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<v Speaker 1>think that for me, I felt the exact same way

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<v Speaker 1>as you, as I was like, this is apparently this

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<v Speaker 1>is everything, and this is so important and I feel

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<v Speaker 1>so dumb and I felt so much shame around it

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<v Speaker 1>that it's like I started to hide it and try

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<v Speaker 1>to figure out things that I could do without the

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<v Speaker 1>high school diploma or without the education. And it's actually

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<v Speaker 1>why I got into fitness is because it was one

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<v Speaker 1>of the only things I could find that didn't require this,

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<v Speaker 1>Like I could almost bypass this high school diploma slash education,

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<v Speaker 1>but still be able to build a career out of it.

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<v Speaker 1>And the crazy part is is looking back at my journey,

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<v Speaker 1>like that became one of the biggest stepping stones for

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<v Speaker 1>so many other things that I did that sometimes were

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<v Speaker 1>forced into these like you know, these other areas out

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<v Speaker 1>of pure lack of options, and then from that I

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<v Speaker 1>turned it into to something way bigger.

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<v Speaker 2>For sure. Well, and I think there's there's a little

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<v Speaker 2>advantage and why I look at it as advantage some

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<v Speaker 2>might think it's a complete disadvantage, but it kind of

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<v Speaker 2>gives in it again. Growing up in my mom's single house,

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<v Speaker 2>like always had to fight for things. You know, if

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<v Speaker 2>I wanted a car, I had to I waitress. I

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<v Speaker 2>bought myself my own car. I did you know all

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<v Speaker 2>those things that I had to I had to quit

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<v Speaker 2>things that I loved because I had to you know,

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<v Speaker 2>pay for certain things. But when it came to not

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<v Speaker 2>having that degree, I didn't have a fallback plan, so

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<v Speaker 2>like I don't. I had to succeed, and then I

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<v Speaker 2>had to throw darts and go, okay, now I'm going

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<v Speaker 2>to keep you know, in which I think it has

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<v Speaker 2>hurt me in some ways because you know, when I

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<v Speaker 2>look at back and certain career routes that I've taken,

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<v Speaker 2>I almost check a box and then I move on

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<v Speaker 2>instead of really honing in and like mastering it.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like I'm talking to myself.

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<v Speaker 2>Really okay, cause but I that's the piece of me

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<v Speaker 2>that I'm like I need. I need almost like help on,

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<v Speaker 2>I think, because yeah, when I look back, I'm like, Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>once you got your award for Best New Artists, You're

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<v Speaker 2>like check that. Now let's go here and move to

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<v Speaker 2>the next one and then let's completely do something different.

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<v Speaker 2>And I don't know, I just I don't know. I

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<v Speaker 2>don't know if that's the piece of me that's scared

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<v Speaker 2>that I'm going to lose it all and I have

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<v Speaker 2>to just keep creating because if not, then you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't have a fallback plan. So I need to

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<v Speaker 2>have a bunch of plans. But then I'm like, well,

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<v Speaker 2>where am I really like honing in on something to

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<v Speaker 2>make it be the most special thing?

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<v Speaker 1>M like a jack of all trades, a master of none.

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<v Speaker 1>I think of that a lot. Yeah, I have some

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<v Speaker 1>girlfriends who just they go so deep instead of wide,

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<v Speaker 1>And I've been called like the Queen of pivoting, And

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know if that's a compliment or not, because truly,

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<v Speaker 1>it's like I started in this, you know, fitness career

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<v Speaker 1>and did so many different things in that, from you know,

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<v Speaker 1>starting a gym, to having at the time one of

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<v Speaker 1>the biggest online memberships, to like winning all of these

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<v Speaker 1>different world titles, to going Okay, I'm done, and like

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<v Speaker 1>cutting it off, like literally cutting it off, like closing

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<v Speaker 1>down the membership even though it was still thriving, And

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<v Speaker 1>I just felt like that part of my chapter was

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<v Speaker 1>over and I had so many more interests. So this

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<v Speaker 1>is where I'm curious for you. I think I'm a

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<v Speaker 1>very curious person. It's hard for me to stay in

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<v Speaker 1>things for long. So I do think that there is

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<v Speaker 1>a number of us who are meant to be. Have

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<v Speaker 1>you ever heard like a lot a lot of people

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<v Speaker 1>are like starters. Some people are are are the people

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<v Speaker 1>who go and start the idea, get people involved in

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<v Speaker 1>the vision, and potentially those other people can carry the

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<v Speaker 1>vision out. So I think what I'm learning more and

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<v Speaker 1>more about myself is that if I want to start something,

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<v Speaker 1>I need to work harder on finding potentially the people

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<v Speaker 1>who could continue to carry that vision or business out,

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<v Speaker 1>and if they can't, then maybe I do really do

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<v Speaker 1>some work around. Is this something that's supposed to be

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<v Speaker 1>more long term for me? Am I avoiding, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>sitting in the mundane because I get bored and I'm

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<v Speaker 1>avoiding mastery, Like this is a question I sit in

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<v Speaker 1>all of the time. But looking back, because we obviously

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<v Speaker 1>it's easier to connect what's the Steve Jobs quote, You

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<v Speaker 1>can't connect the dots looking forward, only backward. I really

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<v Speaker 1>can't imagine staying in those things for much longer than

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<v Speaker 1>I did, because where I'm at now, I feel like

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<v Speaker 1>I understand it finally in my I'm like, Okay, this

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<v Speaker 1>is all added up to be where I want to

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<v Speaker 1>be right now.

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<v Speaker 2>And where you're at right now. I mean, obviously you've

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<v Speaker 2>got your podcast Earn your Happy. Where did that concept

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<v Speaker 2>come to you? And what is like, what do you

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<v Speaker 2>think is the biggest earn your Happy kind of mantra?

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<v Speaker 1>Well, Earn your Happy actually came to me when I

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<v Speaker 1>was in a season of really meditating. I'm kind of

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<v Speaker 1>out of that season. I'm trying to get back in it.

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<v Speaker 2>It's hard to get back in because I did the

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<v Speaker 2>same thing. Alan and I have my fancy and I

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<v Speaker 2>used to meditate all the time together and when I

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<v Speaker 2>was pregnant, and then it was just after that things

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<v Speaker 2>I don't have time, don't time, don't have time, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>like even even too mes no out of time, Like

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<v Speaker 2>I can't do it.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, I'll have to share a link with you.

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<v Speaker 1>I just got like these things that you put in

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<v Speaker 1>both hands and they make these amazing sounds that are

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<v Speaker 1>supposed to be incredible frequencies. But it's three minutes, and

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<v Speaker 1>so I've been doing it every morning and.

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<v Speaker 2>It's like, okay, I've just told these things.

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<v Speaker 1>It's three minutes. I'm like, and even my husband's doing

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<v Speaker 1>it now, so that's very rare. So I'm going to

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<v Speaker 1>send you the link for those. Yeah, but Earn Your

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<v Speaker 1>Happy came to me in a meditation because I was

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<v Speaker 1>really and I was asking the question, like, what do

0:11:21.480 --> 0:11:24.680
<v Speaker 1>I want to call a podcast? What's been a theme

0:11:24.880 --> 0:11:27.680
<v Speaker 1>of my life that feels really important to me? But

0:11:27.800 --> 0:11:30.680
<v Speaker 1>also what would something what could I talk about that

0:11:30.720 --> 0:11:33.360
<v Speaker 1>doesn't pigeonhole me? Because, like I just said, I'm like

0:11:33.360 --> 0:11:36.240
<v Speaker 1>a squirrel and I like all very interested in a

0:11:36.280 --> 0:11:38.800
<v Speaker 1>lot of things. So all of a sudden, out of nowhere,

0:11:38.840 --> 0:11:42.479
<v Speaker 1>I just heard Earn You're Happy. Because I really struggled,

0:11:43.440 --> 0:11:45.800
<v Speaker 1>you know, even as a teenager into my twenties and

0:11:46.160 --> 0:11:48.079
<v Speaker 1>thirties and even now. But I have a lot of tools.

0:11:48.080 --> 0:11:52.320
<v Speaker 1>I really struggled with anxiety and depression, and I used

0:11:52.360 --> 0:11:55.480
<v Speaker 1>to think, like, well, aren't we just supposed to be happy?

0:11:55.600 --> 0:11:58.360
<v Speaker 1>Like why do I not wake up happy every day?

0:11:58.360 --> 0:12:01.480
<v Speaker 1>What's wrong with me? So instead of the question of

0:12:01.520 --> 0:12:03.760
<v Speaker 1>like how do I make myself happy? I was stuck

0:12:03.760 --> 0:12:06.840
<v Speaker 1>in the question for years of why am I not happy?

0:12:06.880 --> 0:12:09.200
<v Speaker 1>Every day? Well, that's not a very good question to

0:12:09.240 --> 0:12:12.480
<v Speaker 1>be asking yourself because you're going to find answers for

0:12:12.600 --> 0:12:15.240
<v Speaker 1>exactly the question that you're seeking that you are asking

0:12:15.280 --> 0:12:17.439
<v Speaker 1>yourself every day. So if I'm asking myself why I'm

0:12:17.480 --> 0:12:20.160
<v Speaker 1>not happy, like what's wrong with me? I'm going to

0:12:20.280 --> 0:12:22.960
<v Speaker 1>find why I'm not happy, and I'm going to find

0:12:23.000 --> 0:12:26.040
<v Speaker 1>what's wrong with me. And so in the in this

0:12:26.160 --> 0:12:28.640
<v Speaker 1>meditation of like earn you're happy, I had the realization

0:12:28.720 --> 0:12:30.960
<v Speaker 1>that I don't think that all of us are just

0:12:31.200 --> 0:12:33.400
<v Speaker 1>naturally happy. I do think there are those select few.

0:12:33.480 --> 0:12:36.360
<v Speaker 1>I think I married one, thankfully, because he really helps me.

0:12:37.200 --> 0:12:38.720
<v Speaker 1>But at first I was like, what is wrong? Like

0:12:38.880 --> 0:12:41.600
<v Speaker 1>why are why are you like this?

0:12:41.720 --> 0:12:43.400
<v Speaker 2>He's an answers up like yeah, you can get it,

0:12:43.480 --> 0:12:44.439
<v Speaker 2>Yeah you're fine. Yeah.

0:12:44.440 --> 0:12:46.000
<v Speaker 1>I was like, you can start being like how you

0:12:46.000 --> 0:12:47.960
<v Speaker 1>want to be. But it's twenty years later and he's not.

0:12:48.200 --> 0:12:51.240
<v Speaker 1>So here we are. But I realized that I had

0:12:51.240 --> 0:12:53.959
<v Speaker 1>to start doing a few things in my twenties, thankfully,

0:12:54.040 --> 0:12:56.400
<v Speaker 1>or even as a teenager, I started realizing this, I

0:12:56.400 --> 0:12:59.000
<v Speaker 1>need to move my body. That always makes me happier,

0:12:59.080 --> 0:13:02.400
<v Speaker 1>that helps me with anxiety. I need I need to

0:13:02.480 --> 0:13:06.000
<v Speaker 1>eat healthy because truly what I eat shows up in

0:13:06.040 --> 0:13:08.560
<v Speaker 1>my feelings. And so at a younger age, I realized

0:13:08.600 --> 0:13:11.440
<v Speaker 1>that like I was eating a plate of emotion. So

0:13:11.480 --> 0:13:13.400
<v Speaker 1>I started looking at food as like, how is this

0:13:13.440 --> 0:13:15.040
<v Speaker 1>going to make me feel? And that was a huge

0:13:15.120 --> 0:13:16.839
<v Speaker 1>change for me. Did it make me eat way better

0:13:16.920 --> 0:13:19.640
<v Speaker 1>right away? No, but it helped me start to correlate

0:13:20.080 --> 0:13:23.040
<v Speaker 1>my choices with is this going to make me happy

0:13:23.080 --> 0:13:25.240
<v Speaker 1>in the long term or not? Because I was really

0:13:25.240 --> 0:13:28.920
<v Speaker 1>a short term type of like pleasure. I want to

0:13:28.920 --> 0:13:30.640
<v Speaker 1>have fun, I want to do all those things, and

0:13:30.679 --> 0:13:32.920
<v Speaker 1>it was making me really unhappy. So earn your happy

0:13:32.960 --> 0:13:35.839
<v Speaker 1>ws we need, like, I want to talk about all

0:13:35.880 --> 0:13:37.839
<v Speaker 1>of the things that you have to do to create

0:13:37.880 --> 0:13:39.800
<v Speaker 1>happiness in your life. And that was right down to

0:13:39.960 --> 0:13:43.080
<v Speaker 1>your career choices, like are you stuck in a career

0:13:43.200 --> 0:13:45.720
<v Speaker 1>you don't love? Does this align with you? Know the

0:13:45.760 --> 0:13:47.480
<v Speaker 1>person that you are? And I wanted to be able

0:13:47.480 --> 0:13:49.000
<v Speaker 1>to talk about business. I wanted to be able to

0:13:49.000 --> 0:13:51.720
<v Speaker 1>talk about life choices. I wanted to talk about relationships

0:13:51.760 --> 0:13:55.880
<v Speaker 1>because that's huge and how important challenges because I think

0:13:55.920 --> 0:13:59.320
<v Speaker 1>that we forget when we're thinking of happiness that we

0:13:59.520 --> 0:14:04.200
<v Speaker 1>have to create this chosen resistance every single day or

0:14:04.200 --> 0:14:06.480
<v Speaker 1>every single week and order for us to get stronger

0:14:06.480 --> 0:14:08.319
<v Speaker 1>and order for us to make ourself proud. And I

0:14:08.360 --> 0:14:11.000
<v Speaker 1>think people leave that off of the table as well.

0:14:11.040 --> 0:14:13.000
<v Speaker 1>So that's where that came from and why I love

0:14:13.040 --> 0:14:15.960
<v Speaker 1>talking about this range of you know, what actually makes

0:14:16.040 --> 0:14:16.480
<v Speaker 1>us happy?

0:14:17.160 --> 0:14:18.880
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And I think there's such an important piece in

0:14:18.920 --> 0:14:21.400
<v Speaker 2>that too, where you know kind of said about people

0:14:21.680 --> 0:14:23.280
<v Speaker 2>they kind of think they have to be this way

0:14:23.360 --> 0:14:26.680
<v Speaker 2>is I know nothing is perfect, and there's going to

0:14:26.760 --> 0:14:29.240
<v Speaker 2>be hard days, you know, like when I do this

0:14:29.360 --> 0:14:31.560
<v Speaker 2>sad and you know, happy with the kids at dinner table,

0:14:31.600 --> 0:14:33.360
<v Speaker 2>Like I understand we're going to have sad pieces to

0:14:33.360 --> 0:14:35.280
<v Speaker 2>our day or we're going to have like one one

0:14:35.320 --> 0:14:38.640
<v Speaker 2>day just might be a day, right, But if the

0:14:38.680 --> 0:14:43.040
<v Speaker 2>longevity of your days are if there's more of those,

0:14:43.160 --> 0:14:45.960
<v Speaker 2>then I'm like, you don't have to be like you

0:14:45.960 --> 0:14:47.840
<v Speaker 2>can you don't like this is your life, right, you

0:14:47.840 --> 0:14:50.080
<v Speaker 2>get one of them. So it's like, if if you're

0:14:50.160 --> 0:14:53.240
<v Speaker 2>so unhappy in your marriage, don't don't stay because you

0:14:53.280 --> 0:14:55.400
<v Speaker 2>think that, And obviously I go to marriage because I'm like,

0:14:55.560 --> 0:14:57.360
<v Speaker 2>that's what I did for seven years is stayed in

0:14:57.400 --> 0:14:58.840
<v Speaker 2>some things. I'm like, well, I don't think it's going

0:14:58.920 --> 0:15:00.680
<v Speaker 2>to be any better, And I'm like, you know, what

0:15:00.800 --> 0:15:03.800
<v Speaker 2>ends up being better is your your happiness, and and

0:15:03.880 --> 0:15:07.240
<v Speaker 2>like you it is better because you'd rather you find

0:15:07.280 --> 0:15:11.080
<v Speaker 2>happiness within yourself and like you get to create your

0:15:11.120 --> 0:15:13.880
<v Speaker 2>own surroundings. And that's something that I've just like been

0:15:13.920 --> 0:15:16.920
<v Speaker 2>such an advocate to being like you are in control

0:15:16.960 --> 0:15:19.400
<v Speaker 2>of your happiness. You might not know why first, so yeah,

0:15:19.440 --> 0:15:21.440
<v Speaker 2>I talk to someone right, so therapy or whatever, but

0:15:21.480 --> 0:15:23.840
<v Speaker 2>like you have, you do have the control for it.

0:15:24.280 --> 0:15:26.280
<v Speaker 2>I think. I mean, now, if people that suffer from

0:15:26.360 --> 0:15:29.440
<v Speaker 2>chronic you know, depression, I don't know that side, and

0:15:29.440 --> 0:15:31.760
<v Speaker 2>I can't even imagine how hard that is. But when

0:15:31.800 --> 0:15:33.480
<v Speaker 2>it comes to you know, certain things in your life

0:15:33.600 --> 0:15:35.560
<v Speaker 2>or career, it's like, you know, you do have a choice.

0:15:35.560 --> 0:15:37.640
<v Speaker 2>And I've realized now I'm like I'm saying no to

0:15:37.680 --> 0:15:39.800
<v Speaker 2>more things now because I'm like I don't want to

0:15:39.800 --> 0:15:41.720
<v Speaker 2>be away or this is too much, or I'm exhausted,

0:15:41.800 --> 0:15:43.200
<v Speaker 2>or I'm going to come back and I'm going to feel,

0:15:43.600 --> 0:15:45.160
<v Speaker 2>you know, like I don't have my kids or so

0:15:45.200 --> 0:15:48.400
<v Speaker 2>it's like I think, but you think you get that

0:15:48.440 --> 0:15:49.160
<v Speaker 2>with age too.

0:15:50.760 --> 0:15:53.080
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, I am. I am so in that

0:15:53.160 --> 0:15:56.840
<v Speaker 1>place now where the realization of a couple things that

0:15:56.840 --> 0:16:00.840
<v Speaker 1>you had mentioned. But I your environment is stronger than

0:16:00.840 --> 0:16:02.720
<v Speaker 1>your willpower. And I think that a lot of our

0:16:03.080 --> 0:16:06.160
<v Speaker 1>happiness or unhappiness is coming from what we're surrounded in,

0:16:06.400 --> 0:16:11.360
<v Speaker 1>and the control that we have over our environment is

0:16:11.760 --> 0:16:14.080
<v Speaker 1>more than I think we realize, especially if we're in

0:16:14.120 --> 0:16:16.520
<v Speaker 1>a tough situation. But it is the hardest thing that

0:16:16.560 --> 0:16:18.640
<v Speaker 1>you will have to start to change, because.

0:16:18.320 --> 0:16:20.920
<v Speaker 2>Oh it's the hardest. Don't wish it on the worst enemy.

0:16:21.000 --> 0:16:22.960
<v Speaker 2>Like my divorce, like I thought was gonna kill me

0:16:23.840 --> 0:16:25.600
<v Speaker 2>until I realize, oh my god, it was the best

0:16:25.640 --> 0:16:27.400
<v Speaker 2>thing that ever happened in my entire life, you know,

0:16:27.800 --> 0:16:29.640
<v Speaker 2>But you don't get that when you're going through it.

0:16:29.640 --> 0:16:35.040
<v Speaker 2>It's awful. Changing something that is familiar is so hard.

0:16:36.040 --> 0:16:39.760
<v Speaker 1>We're more willing to go back to an un or

0:16:39.920 --> 0:16:44.640
<v Speaker 1>a familiar pain, even if it's the most painful thing ever,

0:16:45.000 --> 0:16:49.200
<v Speaker 1>because unfamiliar like fear and pain of the future, is

0:16:49.240 --> 0:16:52.000
<v Speaker 1>even scarier to us because we're like, what if it

0:16:52.040 --> 0:16:54.680
<v Speaker 1>could get worse? And I think that's the that's the

0:16:54.800 --> 0:16:57.480
<v Speaker 1>question we're asking, and it's why we it's why we

0:16:57.520 --> 0:16:59.960
<v Speaker 1>don't take the risk. And so whenever I'm in that

0:17:00.160 --> 0:17:02.680
<v Speaker 1>place of oh my god, what if it could get worse?

0:17:02.720 --> 0:17:05.080
<v Speaker 1>What if I could lose this? What if that? What

0:17:05.200 --> 0:17:08.119
<v Speaker 1>if we focused on what if it went even better

0:17:08.200 --> 0:17:10.560
<v Speaker 1>than I thought? Like, that's the question that I've been

0:17:10.840 --> 0:17:13.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm launching a new company right now, and every single day,

0:17:14.040 --> 0:17:16.199
<v Speaker 1>instead of sitting in oh my god, what if this

0:17:16.280 --> 0:17:18.240
<v Speaker 1>goes wrong? What if this happens? What if this happens,

0:17:18.280 --> 0:17:20.840
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, what if it all goes right? What if

0:17:20.880 --> 0:17:23.600
<v Speaker 1>it's even better than I could imagine? And so I

0:17:23.640 --> 0:17:26.560
<v Speaker 1>start to visualize that, like when I'm meditating now or

0:17:26.560 --> 0:17:29.199
<v Speaker 1>when I go on walks, It's like it gets me

0:17:29.280 --> 0:17:33.879
<v Speaker 1>into a creative place. And also it brings creative ideas

0:17:33.920 --> 0:17:37.080
<v Speaker 1>in different ways to support yourself and different things that

0:17:37.119 --> 0:17:39.680
<v Speaker 1>you could do to help move the process along quicker.

0:17:40.000 --> 0:17:42.480
<v Speaker 1>Where when you sit in the fear of like, well,

0:17:42.600 --> 0:17:44.159
<v Speaker 1>this is as good as it gets. What if you

0:17:44.160 --> 0:17:46.520
<v Speaker 1>know this happens or what if it gets worse? That's

0:17:46.720 --> 0:17:48.440
<v Speaker 1>such a place of fear and it shuts you down,

0:17:48.480 --> 0:17:52.159
<v Speaker 1>it really does. But that transition into the new question

0:17:52.240 --> 0:17:54.160
<v Speaker 1>is like the hardest thing you'll ever do. In your life,

0:17:54.200 --> 0:17:56.879
<v Speaker 1>like I have to remind myself fifty different times a day,

0:17:56.920 --> 0:18:00.080
<v Speaker 1>sometimes one hundred times a day, to be like, if

0:18:00.080 --> 0:18:02.199
<v Speaker 1>your thoughts were all a reality, Like if all of

0:18:02.240 --> 0:18:04.760
<v Speaker 1>our thoughts came true, what are you manifesting right now?

0:18:05.080 --> 0:18:06.960
<v Speaker 1>And so I catch myself and go, what am I

0:18:07.000 --> 0:18:09.480
<v Speaker 1>manifesting right now? Like what am I creating? What emotion

0:18:09.560 --> 0:18:11.720
<v Speaker 1>am I creating? What am I attracting? Because we know

0:18:11.760 --> 0:18:15.520
<v Speaker 1>this emotion attracts people in things, And even if you

0:18:15.600 --> 0:18:17.959
<v Speaker 1>don't believe that right now, like you have to borrow

0:18:18.000 --> 0:18:20.240
<v Speaker 1>someone's belief. You have to go find people who have

0:18:20.400 --> 0:18:23.080
<v Speaker 1>been through what you've been through and listen to their story.

0:18:23.119 --> 0:18:27.560
<v Speaker 1>Because in the beginning of me like changing my life

0:18:27.640 --> 0:18:31.080
<v Speaker 1>in so many different scenarios. You know, there was a

0:18:31.119 --> 0:18:32.680
<v Speaker 1>time in two thousand and eight when my husband and

0:18:32.680 --> 0:18:35.240
<v Speaker 1>I lost everything. We lost our homes, cars, jobs, like

0:18:35.320 --> 0:18:38.240
<v Speaker 1>everything all at once because he was in the mortgage

0:18:38.240 --> 0:18:40.560
<v Speaker 1>and finance industry and we were like three hundred thousand

0:18:40.560 --> 0:18:42.920
<v Speaker 1>dollars debt in debt in the Midwest at the time,

0:18:42.960 --> 0:18:45.399
<v Speaker 1>that was like three million dollars. We were so overwhelmed,

0:18:45.920 --> 0:18:50.000
<v Speaker 1>and I remember, you know, working to change our money

0:18:50.040 --> 0:18:52.680
<v Speaker 1>mindset and belief about where we were was like the

0:18:52.720 --> 0:18:56.080
<v Speaker 1>biggest uphel battle of our lives, and a lot of

0:18:56.119 --> 0:18:58.440
<v Speaker 1>the things that we did to change it felt really stupid,

0:18:58.480 --> 0:19:01.479
<v Speaker 1>like they didn't feel like they were working or like

0:19:01.520 --> 0:19:04.240
<v Speaker 1>it was real. I remember we did this book together.

0:19:04.359 --> 0:19:07.480
<v Speaker 1>Every night before we went to bed. We would read

0:19:07.600 --> 0:19:10.399
<v Speaker 1>Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harvecker out loud,

0:19:10.480 --> 0:19:12.719
<v Speaker 1>and we would do the things that it's said in there,

0:19:12.760 --> 0:19:16.200
<v Speaker 1>and you'd be doing totally stupid things that after you've

0:19:16.200 --> 0:19:18.600
<v Speaker 1>lost everything, you feel so dumb. You're like, is this

0:19:18.680 --> 0:19:20.840
<v Speaker 1>really working? It's like I have a millionaire mind. I'm

0:19:20.920 --> 0:19:23.560
<v Speaker 1>changing my mind about X, Y and Z. But you

0:19:23.680 --> 0:19:25.679
<v Speaker 1>do that long enough, and all of a sudden, you

0:19:25.800 --> 0:19:30.880
<v Speaker 1>truly are reprogramming. And we change so much during that

0:19:31.040 --> 0:19:33.239
<v Speaker 1>year of just saying, you know what, screw it, we

0:19:33.280 --> 0:19:35.840
<v Speaker 1>don't have anything else. We've lost it all. We have

0:19:35.960 --> 0:19:39.080
<v Speaker 1>nothing left to lose by looking foolish. And sometimes that's

0:19:39.119 --> 0:19:42.000
<v Speaker 1>the most powerful place you can possibly be is at

0:19:42.040 --> 0:19:45.520
<v Speaker 1>your rock bottom, and you can't rob people of their

0:19:45.640 --> 0:19:48.320
<v Speaker 1>rock bottom, and you also can't skip your rock bottom.

0:19:48.320 --> 0:19:51.360
<v Speaker 1>I think it's the most powerful thing because it's like that,

0:19:51.960 --> 0:19:54.679
<v Speaker 1>it's almost that burn the boat's moment where you have

0:19:55.080 --> 0:19:58.840
<v Speaker 1>no other options. You've taken everything off of the table

0:19:58.960 --> 0:20:02.000
<v Speaker 1>and you just do the things that could actually work.

0:20:13.960 --> 0:20:16.639
<v Speaker 2>And I thought of when you were talking to one

0:20:16.680 --> 0:20:20.880
<v Speaker 2>of my girlfriends, Maria Manunas, has this quote. She would say,

0:20:20.920 --> 0:20:24.760
<v Speaker 2>you know, when doubt would creep in, or to change

0:20:24.760 --> 0:20:27.280
<v Speaker 2>the positive, you know, to change the mindset to positive.

0:20:27.320 --> 0:20:28.960
<v Speaker 2>She would go, I wonder what it's going to be

0:20:29.000 --> 0:20:30.920
<v Speaker 2>like when I get that call that I got that brace.

0:20:31.000 --> 0:20:33.240
<v Speaker 2>I wonder what it's going to be like when I

0:20:33.280 --> 0:20:36.440
<v Speaker 2>get the diagnosis that I'm clearer. I wonder. So it's

0:20:36.440 --> 0:20:39.000
<v Speaker 2>like you're putting that out instead of like, oh god,

0:20:39.640 --> 0:20:41.040
<v Speaker 2>I'm sure it's going to be bad, It's like, no,

0:20:41.080 --> 0:20:42.520
<v Speaker 2>I wonder what it's going to be like when it's good,

0:20:42.640 --> 0:20:45.200
<v Speaker 2>you know. And so I love like the changing of

0:20:45.240 --> 0:20:48.879
<v Speaker 2>the mindset. But also something too that you spoke about

0:20:48.960 --> 0:20:51.920
<v Speaker 2>anxiety of I've dealt with anxiety for quite a long

0:20:51.960 --> 0:20:56.240
<v Speaker 2>time too, and I've been recently looking on the inside

0:20:56.320 --> 0:21:00.399
<v Speaker 2>and I didn't know how much gut was affecting anxiety,

0:21:00.520 --> 0:21:02.840
<v Speaker 2>and so I've changed so much. I've been on kind

0:21:02.880 --> 0:21:08.080
<v Speaker 2>of like an eight week reset gut stuff, you know,

0:21:08.119 --> 0:21:12.520
<v Speaker 2>eating now for food sensitivity too, But when it came

0:21:12.560 --> 0:21:14.120
<v Speaker 2>to the gut, I was like, I feel so much

0:21:14.160 --> 0:21:16.800
<v Speaker 2>better in my anxiety. I'm like, wow, I haven't actually

0:21:16.880 --> 0:21:19.840
<v Speaker 2>even had anxiety. I don't, and it's because a lot

0:21:19.880 --> 0:21:22.000
<v Speaker 2>of that is triggered through your gut, and which I had.

0:21:22.240 --> 0:21:24.119
<v Speaker 2>I had no idea. I just thought I was like,

0:21:24.119 --> 0:21:26.760
<v Speaker 2>oh my PTSD back when I was nineteen, like I,

0:21:26.800 --> 0:21:30.040
<v Speaker 2>and that's what triggered it all. But I can so

0:21:30.160 --> 0:21:33.040
<v Speaker 2>tell the difference too when my gut isn't in check

0:21:33.359 --> 0:21:34.960
<v Speaker 2>with the foods that I eat. And I saw that

0:21:35.040 --> 0:21:36.760
<v Speaker 2>you have a venture not what's I don't want to

0:21:36.960 --> 0:21:41.399
<v Speaker 2>mispronounce it. It's a glowkey glowsy glowsy okay, can it's a

0:21:41.520 --> 0:21:45.320
<v Speaker 2>daily beauty supplement creative with superfood ingredients to transformer scanning gut.

0:21:45.359 --> 0:21:46.679
<v Speaker 2>So can you tell us more about that?

0:21:48.000 --> 0:21:52.320
<v Speaker 1>Yes, well this came out of I don't know about you,

0:21:52.359 --> 0:21:54.800
<v Speaker 1>but I was using hydration products all the time because

0:21:54.800 --> 0:21:57.040
<v Speaker 1>I'm like a toddler and I want to drink more water,

0:21:57.080 --> 0:21:59.320
<v Speaker 1>but I need it to be flavored, and so I

0:21:59.359 --> 0:22:02.920
<v Speaker 1>am like pumping these hydration products and not really it's

0:22:02.920 --> 0:22:04.840
<v Speaker 1>so weird. I'm not really looking at what's in them,

0:22:04.920 --> 0:22:08.920
<v Speaker 1>because I just loved the fact that it made me

0:22:09.000 --> 0:22:11.159
<v Speaker 1>drink more water. But I'm like a health and fitness person,

0:22:11.280 --> 0:22:15.000
<v Speaker 1>So one day I'm like, what exactly is all in

0:22:15.040 --> 0:22:16.920
<v Speaker 1>these different things that I'm taking, Like, oh my god,

0:22:17.000 --> 0:22:20.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm either paying for really expensive salt or I don't

0:22:20.560 --> 0:22:23.040
<v Speaker 1>love what's in these other things. And I thought, if

0:22:23.040 --> 0:22:25.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm already doing this and this is like a really

0:22:25.640 --> 0:22:28.000
<v Speaker 1>easy habit for me to stick to and other people

0:22:28.040 --> 0:22:32.120
<v Speaker 1>to stick to, what if I put stuff in here

0:22:32.320 --> 0:22:35.879
<v Speaker 1>that actually helped us with our wellness and beauty routine? Like,

0:22:36.600 --> 0:22:40.280
<v Speaker 1>because I believe skin is so much. Yes, there's amazing

0:22:40.320 --> 0:22:46.880
<v Speaker 1>topical things, but because of my just like lifetime of

0:22:47.280 --> 0:22:48.879
<v Speaker 1>health and fitness, people are like, what do you do

0:22:48.920 --> 0:22:51.080
<v Speaker 1>for your skin? And like, honestly, I've eaten really healthy

0:22:51.080 --> 0:22:53.960
<v Speaker 1>and watched my stress and water and happiness and all

0:22:53.960 --> 0:22:56.200
<v Speaker 1>the things. But I was like, what if we put

0:22:56.240 --> 0:22:59.600
<v Speaker 1>this all into one packet that helped you drink more

0:22:59.640 --> 0:23:02.919
<v Speaker 1>water and was a routine for you that just I

0:23:02.960 --> 0:23:06.280
<v Speaker 1>think so often when we feel you know, to someone

0:23:06.320 --> 0:23:10.040
<v Speaker 1>who also has experienced anxiety, like if we can just

0:23:10.200 --> 0:23:12.800
<v Speaker 1>get back to the simple things that make us feel good,

0:23:12.800 --> 0:23:15.479
<v Speaker 1>and make us feel proud. Sometimes it's those moments that

0:23:15.520 --> 0:23:18.360
<v Speaker 1>you have to yourself that you're so routine and habitual

0:23:18.359 --> 0:23:20.119
<v Speaker 1>that can really help you get back on track in

0:23:20.160 --> 0:23:22.960
<v Speaker 1>your life on so many things. So that's where this

0:23:23.080 --> 0:23:26.960
<v Speaker 1>came from. And we wanted, you know, talk about the

0:23:27.520 --> 0:23:30.919
<v Speaker 1>brain gut access, there's also skin gut access because so

0:23:31.040 --> 0:23:34.120
<v Speaker 1>much of what we're eating comes out in our skin

0:23:34.200 --> 0:23:36.679
<v Speaker 1>as well. So we did a probiotic, We did hyaluronic

0:23:36.720 --> 0:23:41.680
<v Speaker 1>acid prickly pair, vitamin C, zinc, magnesium, sea salt, coconut water,

0:23:42.040 --> 0:23:44.399
<v Speaker 1>and we put it all in a packet together to

0:23:44.640 --> 0:23:46.600
<v Speaker 1>be a skin routine that you can drink.

0:23:47.040 --> 0:23:50.160
<v Speaker 2>I love the packaging too, it's really really great. Yeah,

0:23:50.160 --> 0:23:52.959
<v Speaker 2>there's a menatic vite and see magnesium zinc prickly pair

0:23:53.000 --> 0:23:56.920
<v Speaker 2>which I then this is sea salt coconut water powder.

0:23:56.960 --> 0:23:59.520
<v Speaker 2>I mean this is great. Girl. Where can where can

0:24:00.280 --> 0:24:00.520
<v Speaker 2>get this?

0:24:01.920 --> 0:24:04.880
<v Speaker 1>They can go to get glossy dot com.

0:24:05.000 --> 0:24:07.320
<v Speaker 2>You guys, go on get glossy. It's g E T

0:24:07.560 --> 0:24:09.879
<v Speaker 2>G L O c I dot com. I could I

0:24:09.920 --> 0:24:11.720
<v Speaker 2>feel like I could talk to you forever. But we

0:24:11.760 --> 0:24:13.639
<v Speaker 2>got it. We have to wrap it, and I hate it.

0:24:13.680 --> 0:24:17.200
<v Speaker 2>So LORI tell our listeners where they can find you,

0:24:17.359 --> 0:24:19.000
<v Speaker 2>and thank you again so much for coming on.

0:24:19.800 --> 0:24:22.280
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, anytime, anytime I can chat with you

0:24:22.400 --> 0:24:25.800
<v Speaker 1>is a good day. So obviously get Glossy dot com

0:24:25.840 --> 0:24:27.400
<v Speaker 1>is the main place that I'm hanging out right now,

0:24:27.440 --> 0:24:30.280
<v Speaker 1>but also on socials it's just at Loriharder and then

0:24:30.280 --> 0:24:31.440
<v Speaker 1>the podcast.

0:24:31.760 --> 0:24:34.040
<v Speaker 2>Which is Earn You're happy, I'm all right girl, We'll

0:24:34.080 --> 0:24:36.359
<v Speaker 2>talk soon. Thank you, thank you so much for having

0:24:36.400 --> 0:24:36.480
<v Speaker 2>me