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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Dakota, and this is Keon, your favorite

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime host, and we've got some great stories coming

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Speaker 1: right up. But before that, we have a quick two

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Speaker 1: minute break from the sponsors to keep the show alive.

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Speaker 2: My girlfriend's father mocks my job every Sunday dinner. So

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Speaker 2: I made him shut up.

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Speaker 1: I put a muzzle on him.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so I already know how this is gonna sound,

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Speaker 2: but hear me out. I'm twenty eight male and I've

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Speaker 2: been with Sienna, twenty six female for about a year,

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Speaker 2: maybe a bit longer. We were kind of on and

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Speaker 2: off at the stars, so I never know how to

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Speaker 2: count it. Things are good between us, really good, actually,

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Speaker 2: except for one thing. Her dad, Neil fifty eight mail

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Speaker 2: hates my job. By the way, this comes from Original

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Speaker 2: Science sixty six to zero. And if you want to

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Speaker 2: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay

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Speaker 2: Storytime subreddit. I'm Savannah, I'm Dakota, I'm Keon, and we

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Speaker 2: are here to give some good advice schoolfully, but we

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Speaker 2: don't have all of the answers. We don't know that

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Speaker 2: you know what we would do in this situation. But

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Speaker 2: let us know what you would do. Down in the

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Speaker 2: comments because I want to see what you're saying about me, specifically,

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Speaker 2: just me, as Opie says, I'm a ferrier. For anyone

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Speaker 2: who doesn't know what that means, I do horse hoof care.

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Speaker 1: Oh you're like all those videos I've seen on shorts.

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Speaker 1: I loved carving.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, ah, and especially when they have like a

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Speaker 2: problem like or something.

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Speaker 1: Oh, it's like, oh yeah, yep, yep, yep, yep, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we got the same, we got the same, dumb brain.

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Speaker 2: Oh I love love that.

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Speaker 1: It's just like and I would hate it in real life,

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Speaker 1: but seeing it through the screen, I'm happy.

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Speaker 2: Trimming, shoeing, the whole thing. It's skilled work. I did

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Speaker 2: a proper apprenticeship, and honestly, I make decent money, like,

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Speaker 2: genuinely decent, more than a lot of office jobs. Not

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Speaker 2: that it matters, but I feel like I have to

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Speaker 2: say that anyway. Sianna's family does Sunday dinners at her parents'

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Speaker 2: place in Galway, big traditional thing. Her mom cooks a roast.

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Speaker 2: The whole family shows up nice in theory, except every

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Speaker 2: single time Neil makes comments about my job.

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Speaker 3: So when do you get in a real career, then,

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Speaker 3: bit old to be playing with horses, isn't it.

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Speaker 1: I would just love to see this guy pull that

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Speaker 1: on like now now a cowboy.

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Speaker 3: When you're gonna get a real job.

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Speaker 1: And I guarantee you he would never do that to

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Speaker 1: a cowboy by chance, A lady. No, oh, pie's a guy. Okay.

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Speaker 1: I was just gonna say if it might have been,

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Speaker 1: because he's like, huh, woman, but you know, oh, he's

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Speaker 1: a man. I guess this guy is just a dunce.

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Speaker 2: Just a dunce.

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Speaker 3: Sianna's last boyfriend worked in finance, just saying.

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Speaker 2: And everyone laughs every time, like it's this running joke.

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Speaker 2: I've talked to Sienna about it and she says he's

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Speaker 2: just like that and I need to learn to take

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Speaker 2: a joke but doesn't feel like a joke. After the

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Speaker 2: tenth time or the twentieth last Sunday, he asked me

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Speaker 2: if I'm saving up to go back to school for

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Speaker 2: something useful, and I just sat there and smiled, because

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Speaker 2: what else am I supposed to do? I told Sianna

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Speaker 2: this week that I don't want to go to Sunday

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Speaker 2: dinner anymore, at least not every week. She got really

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Speaker 2: upset and said, I'm making her choose between me and

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Speaker 2: her family, but I'm not she can still go. I

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Speaker 2: just don't want to sit there and get insulted over

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Speaker 2: roast beef every weekend. Would I be the a hole

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Speaker 2: if I actually stop going? And the consensus is either

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Speaker 2: girlfriend is weak or she agrees with dad. I don't

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Speaker 2: think she's weak. I think she wants everyone to get along.

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Speaker 2: But I also think, like I would mention, like if

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Speaker 2: my parents were like, you know, if my dad kept

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Speaker 2: cracking jokes and like my significant other was like, hey,

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Speaker 2: I don't really when he does this, I would literally

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Speaker 2: tell my dad. I'd be like, hey, can you stay?

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Speaker 1: There needs to be a direct confrontation about like, hey,

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Speaker 1: you sound weird that you keep bringing this up. Why

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Speaker 1: is it? I'm happy? We're both happy? What are you doing?

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Speaker 2: Update two days later. Original post was a few days

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Speaker 2: ago about my girlfriend Sienna's dad, you know, constantly mocking

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Speaker 2: my job as a ferrier at Sunday Dinners. I said

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Speaker 2: I didn't want to go anymore. Sienna accuse me of

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Speaker 2: making her choes between me and her family. Well, Sunday happened,

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Speaker 2: and I have an update. I decided to go one

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Speaker 2: more time, partly because of the comments telling me to

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Speaker 2: stand up for myself instead of just avoiding it, and

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Speaker 2: partly because Sienna begged me to give it one more

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Speaker 2: chance and promised she'd say something if her dad started. Spoiler,

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Speaker 2: she did not say something. We get there. Everything's normal

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Speaker 2: at first, Roast is cooking, her mom as lovely as always,

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Speaker 2: her brother's there with his wife. Then Neil walks in,

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Speaker 2: sees me and goes ah, the horse whisperer is back.

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Speaker 2: Sianna said, you almost didn't come finally realize you need

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Speaker 2: a real job to afford a woman like her. That's

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Speaker 2: just so mean.

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Speaker 1: Why, like, what is this issue? I just I just

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Speaker 1: see what I'm just like, huh, oh, Neil, that's such

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Speaker 1: a classic Neil line. That's like I would just start

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Speaker 1: saying that. I just go, oh, classic need upgrading Neil

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Speaker 1: to just own Neil. You know, oh Neil.

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Speaker 2: I didn't laugh this time. I just looked at him

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Speaker 2: and said, Neil, I make seventy four thousand a year,

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Speaker 2: or I own my own business. I have clients across

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Speaker 2: three countries who trust me with animals worth more than

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Speaker 2: your car. What exactly about that isn't real to you?

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Speaker 1: Complete silence here it is again, It's like, would you

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Speaker 1: say this to any other like person, Like you're just

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Speaker 1: saying this because it's like your daughter's boyfriend, but like,

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Speaker 1: would you say this to like like a cattle driver.

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Speaker 1: It's like, oh, yeah, you're out there playing around with cows,

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Speaker 1: like little boy. They could just spit tobacco on you. You know,

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Speaker 1: it's mainly numbers. Yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 2: His face went red. Sianna's mom was frozen with a

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Speaker 2: serving spoon in her hand. Her brother actually snorted into

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Speaker 2: his drink. Neil said, no, need to get defensive. It's

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Speaker 2: just a bit of creak. I said. It's it's not

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Speaker 2: Kraik when it's every single week for you. It's just insulting.

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Speaker 2: And I'm done laughing alone. Dinner was awkward, very quiet.

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Speaker 2: Neil didn't say another word to me the whole meal.

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Speaker 2: Sianna kept giving me looks like I'd done something wrong.

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Speaker 2: In the car home, she exploded, said I humiliated her father,

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Speaker 2: that I made everyone uncomfortable, that I should have handled

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Speaker 2: it privately instead of showing off about my salary. I said,

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Speaker 2: I've been handling it privately for a year. Nothing changed,

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Speaker 2: I said. She promised she'd back me up. And she didn't.

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Speaker 2: I said, I'm not apologizing for defending myself. I don't

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Speaker 2: think you should. I think you did exactly like you know,

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Speaker 2: give a taste is on a medicine. She's been cold since,

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Speaker 2: sleeping on her side of the bed. One word answers,

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Speaker 2: I think she's waiting for me to apologize. I'm not

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Speaker 2: going to. I don't know where we go from here.

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Speaker 2: I love her, but I'm starting to realize she might

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Speaker 2: never have my back against her family, and I don't

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Speaker 2: know if I can live like that. And there are

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Speaker 2: some additional details from OPI in the comments. After dinner,

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Speaker 2: when Siana was in the bathroom, her brother Sillyan pulled

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Speaker 2: me aside. I thought he was going to have a

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Speaker 2: go at me too. Instead he shook my hand and

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Speaker 2: said about ef in time, someone shut him up.

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Speaker 1: De Red says, this dad is one of those guys

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Speaker 1: that finds it disrespectful that you don't let him disrespect.

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Speaker 2: You, right. I hate those kinds of like men that

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Speaker 2: are so like it's like toxic masculinity, like oh, I

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Speaker 2: have to be the dominant one here, like I am

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Speaker 2: the alpha male. And then it's like you say one

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Speaker 2: thing and he's like.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, he'd say one thing, he turns into a little chihuahua.

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Speaker 2: He told me, Neil does this to everyone. Did it

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Speaker 2: to Gillian's wife for years about her being a hairdresser,

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Speaker 2: until she stopped coming to dinners entirely. Yeah, see, like

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Speaker 2: what why would you want that? Why are you like

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Speaker 2: condoning that behavior? Like, yeah, let him be a bully

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Speaker 2: to every single person who comes like into this family.

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Speaker 1: Exactly, He's this is a repeated pattern. The whole family

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Speaker 1: has just grown to. I don't know, I guess accept

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Speaker 1: it for some reason, but I love Look, we got

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Speaker 1: Lorraine Williams in the in the chat, I had to

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Speaker 1: sit my husband down and have a have my back

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Speaker 1: with your family or I will conversation. I don't let

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Speaker 1: people bully me in words or actions. I agree with that.

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Speaker 1: They've had that conversation and she still didn't do it.

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Speaker 2: So you're gonna do nothing. So I have to now

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Speaker 2: take charge and do this in front of your family

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Speaker 2: because you won't do it. Take a stand for me.

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Speaker 2: She only started again after they had kids, and she

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Speaker 2: had to. He said, the whole family just lets Neil

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Speaker 2: be Neil, because that's how he's always been so It's

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Speaker 2: not just me, it's a pattern in Sianna knows. She's

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Speaker 2: watched her dad do this to her own sister in law,

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Speaker 2: and she still told me to learn to take a joke.

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Speaker 2: I keep thinking about what Killian's wife went through, years

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Speaker 2: of mockery until she opted out, and even then she

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Speaker 2: only came back because of the kids. Is that my future?

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Speaker 2: Just tolerating mistreatment because that's how he is. I don't

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Speaker 2: know if this is fixable. I don't know if Sianna

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Speaker 2: even sees the problem. And that might be the bigger issue.

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Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, honestly, that is the issue. Yeah, like

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Speaker 2: the issue was. It started out, as you know, her

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Speaker 2: dad was belittling new but then it turned into a

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Speaker 2: bigger issue of her not saying anything, not standing up

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Speaker 2: for you, being like, hey dad, that's enough.

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Speaker 1: So then you had the conversation you need to say something.

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Speaker 1: She says, I will say something. Then she says nothing.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Literally, And that's the end of this story and we're

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Speaker 4: going on to the next one.

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Speaker 1: My roommate said I was too perfect for him. He

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Speaker 1: had no idea. I felt the same way.

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Speaker 2: Too perfect too, schmurf it get over it.

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Speaker 1: Eight years ago, I twenty six female was on a

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Speaker 1: vacation on the other side of the world and met

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Speaker 1: a guy twenty eight mail from my town. There was

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Speaker 1: this instant intense connection. We agreed to go on a

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Speaker 1: date the next day, but it never happened. Hours after

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Speaker 1: we met, something terrible happened to him. Hearing what had

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Speaker 1: happened triggered my PTSD so bad that I cut my

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Speaker 1: vacation short and switched four flights to get back home

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Speaker 1: as soon as possible. By the way, this comes from

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Speaker 1: user shutdown Throw, and if you want to submit your

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Speaker 1: own stories, go to the r slashway Storytime. So about it.

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Speaker 1: I'm Dakota, I'm ke On, and we're here to give

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Speaker 1: good advice. Gooflee. But we don't have the answers to

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Speaker 1: all of these questions. We only know the things that

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Speaker 1: we know, So tell us all the things that you

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Speaker 1: know down in the comments and nope says. One year later,

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Speaker 1: I finally dared to look him up on social media

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Speaker 1: and we reconnected. We chatted for months and then started

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Speaker 1: hanging out in real life. We became very close friends.

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Speaker 1: He was jumping from relationship to relationship. We both happened

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Speaker 1: to be single at the same time some three years ago,

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Speaker 1: and I caught feelings. I said, give me those feelings.

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Speaker 1: At first, I thought it was just convenience. He was here,

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Speaker 1: hot and single. By the time I realized I'm actually

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Speaker 1: in love, he was already seeing someone else. Two years ago,

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Speaker 1: he was going through some hard times. Lost his job,

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Speaker 1: his girlfriend left him, and he crashed at my place.

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Speaker 1: He was in a terrible mental state, and I was

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Speaker 1: his soundboard. All I could do was listen and make

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Speaker 1: him hold on to the positive thought when he had one.

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Speaker 1: I encouraged him to go back to his old hobby

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Speaker 1: and he started making a pretty good living out of it.

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Speaker 1: Now he's back to his old self and says he's

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Speaker 1: happier than ever and gives me full credit for pushing

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Speaker 1: his life in the right direction. We kept living together

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Speaker 1: because it worked for us. We still do. We click

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Speaker 1: very well, organically, share chores or shared. More on that later,

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Speaker 1: and it's generally a lot of fun.

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Speaker 2: Well sounds like this story is over see you.

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Speaker 1: From chance acquaintances on an international vacation, to PTSD trigger

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Speaker 1: to friends, to roommates to lovers.

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Speaker 2: What a turn The turn of events make it into

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Speaker 2: a hallmark movie.

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Speaker 1: Shall we he started changing. At first, it was gradual,

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Speaker 1: nothing huge or shocking, but it eventually picked up pace.

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Speaker 1: It started with random compliments than random hugs, and a

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Speaker 1: month ago it went to full on pampering. A few

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Speaker 1: months ago, I was hit by a waisted driver. I

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Speaker 1: had had trauma and several broken ribs. Oh no. I

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Speaker 1: spent weeks in the hospital, made a full recovery, yes,

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Speaker 1: and he never left my sight. My nose was badly

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Speaker 1: broken and I was going to get it fixed somewhere

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Speaker 1: down the line, but he was begging me not to

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Speaker 1: push that back. He has a facial scar from the

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Speaker 1: incident eight years ago, and he opened up about it

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Speaker 1: for the first time. He had tons of repair treatments.

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Speaker 1: Now it's barely noticeable, but at some point it was

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Speaker 1: very bad, and he still sees it that way. It

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Speaker 1: looks like a scratch on his chin and a slight

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Speaker 1: discoloration on the side of his face, which he can't

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Speaker 1: even see because he's always had long hair, and he

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Speaker 1: calls himself disfigured. Oh, poor baby, poor baby needs therapy.

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Speaker 1: He was begging me not to live with a disfigurement

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Speaker 1: for a day longer than I have to. At first,

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Speaker 1: I thought he was projecting his insecurities onto me, but

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Speaker 1: he really opened up about how he felt when he

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Speaker 1: woke up with a new face and knew he had

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Speaker 1: to live life like that. From that point on, I

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Speaker 1: realize he has my best interest at heart. It was

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Speaker 1: also the first time I realized how insecure he was.

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Speaker 1: After my accident, those tiny signs of affection started escalating

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Speaker 1: much faster. He works from home and I rent a

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Speaker 1: studio and maintain a work schedule to avoid being lazy,

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Speaker 1: and he started adjusting his schedule to mine. Before the accident,

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Speaker 1: we would cook dinner together, go out or order in

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Speaker 1: maybe two to three times a month. He would have

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Speaker 1: dinner ready for me when I got home. For the

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Speaker 1: past month, it's been every single day. The shopping is done,

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Speaker 1: the pets are taken care of, and the house is spotless.

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Speaker 1: He never lets me pay. When we eat out. After dinner,

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Speaker 1: we usually binge some shows. His arm is always around

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Speaker 1: me and he constantly plays with my hair. This is

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Speaker 1: your boyfriend, This is your boyfriend, and you're cool with this.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's fine.

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Speaker 1: You're like I like this, Yeah, I mean he's not

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Speaker 1: my boyfriend. I like it. Come on, she your boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: He thanks me for saving his life, for being his friend,

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Speaker 1: for just being me. I started reciprocating, And when I

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Speaker 1: cuddle up to him, he kisses the top of my head,

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Speaker 1: things like that. Cuddling with him is the highlight of

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Speaker 1: my day. But I'm begging him to stop pampering me

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Speaker 1: like that. He says, I deserve it. Get a get

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Speaker 1: a room, you two roommates, Why would you? Why would you?

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Speaker 1: It's your boyfriend.

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Speaker 2: Why do you want to stop? Is it like making

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Speaker 2: you uncomfortable? You just like don't feel like you deserve it.

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Speaker 1: You're coding and I roommates? What are you guys? Start

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Speaker 1: doing this for me? Yeah? Why don't you pamper me

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Speaker 1: like this? Keon last night we were cuddled up as always.

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Speaker 1: I raised my head and looked him in the eyes.

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Speaker 1: It was a moment I was going for a kiss,

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Speaker 1: but instead got the best shut down ever. He started

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Speaker 1: talking like I'm some deity that should only be admired

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Speaker 1: from far in a nutshell. I'm too perfect for someone

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Speaker 1: like him. He saw where this was heading. Nope, he's

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Speaker 1: not good enough for that. It took me some time

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00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:08,200
Speaker 1: to remember to blink. I said, I'm sorry he feels

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00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:10,760
Speaker 1: that way and got up. I left early this morning

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00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:12,400
Speaker 1: and I still haven't seen him, but he texted me

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00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:14,840
Speaker 1: if I would want this or that for dinner. What

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00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:18,600
Speaker 1: exactly is his deal? Could he really be that insecure

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00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:21,920
Speaker 1: or is he simply not interested? What is with all

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00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:24,800
Speaker 1: the pampering? Then he could be happy I'm alive and

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00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:27,480
Speaker 1: made a full recovery. But he was making advances long

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00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:30,000
Speaker 1: before my accident. He was never a hugger or a

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00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:33,080
Speaker 1: yes ma'am. He started becoming one two years ago and

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00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:36,400
Speaker 1: only with me. And there are some comments here. They

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00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:39,720
Speaker 1: are all gonna be like, hey, silly, your boyfriend is

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Speaker 1: living with you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean what else is that? Like this is

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Speaker 2: like definition, Like this is not this is past friends

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00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:50,680
Speaker 2: for us, just don't go up and like, hmmm, they

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Speaker 2: don't do that. So he's basically like a boyfriend, but

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Speaker 2: like without the title. And then he's also like you're

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Speaker 2: too perfect for me? What does that even mean? Am

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Speaker 2: I supposed to do something? You're supposed to?

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Speaker 1: He worships you, which can be an issue if you're

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00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:07,360
Speaker 1: not into that. You might need to be like, hey,

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00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:09,440
Speaker 1: you might need to peel that back a little bit.

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00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:12,800
Speaker 1: But I do like you a lot. Let's kiss come

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00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:16,040
Speaker 1: at one. You claim you too are so close and connected,

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00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:19,200
Speaker 1: and yet here you are asking strangers what he's thinking

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00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:23,919
Speaker 1: instead of talking to him about it. Go ask him, Oh,

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00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:27,040
Speaker 1: he says, In any case, I will have to talk

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00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:28,960
Speaker 1: to him in three to four hours. And I still

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00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:31,480
Speaker 1: don't know how to approach this. If it was a shutdown,

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Speaker 1: he will probably want to forget it ever happened, so

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Speaker 1: we can stay friends. If he's really that insecure, I

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00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:38,720
Speaker 1: want to reassure him without pushing it. I need someone

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00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:41,120
Speaker 1: to talk to first, and I would rather anonymously ask

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Speaker 1: strangers than people I know and know him but have

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00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:47,200
Speaker 1: no idea about his past and image issues. And there's

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00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:49,200
Speaker 1: an update three days later.

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Speaker 2: Well, if he has trauma, then he needs to work

335
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:51,920
Speaker 2: on it.

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00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:54,800
Speaker 1: Like y'all are both super insecure.

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00:17:55,119 --> 00:17:58,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, it seems like you both need to like chill out.

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00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:01,800
Speaker 1: You're worried, like, what if he did Actually, what if

339
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:04,720
Speaker 1: he's not actually entirely obsessed with me and he's just

340
00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:07,520
Speaker 1: so nice that this is the way he's shutting me down.

341
00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:12,359
Speaker 1: Is No, he's actually so obsessed with you that he's like,

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00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:15,359
Speaker 1: I am just a peasant and you are the queen.

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00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:21,480
Speaker 1: I cannot allow yourself to reduce your status. To mind.

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00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:24,040
Speaker 2: Also, I can see how well no, because they've known

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00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:26,679
Speaker 2: each other forever. Never mind. I was gonna, I was

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Speaker 2: gonna give my intel of maybe a love bomb. But

347
00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:31,400
Speaker 2: they've known each other for a while, so I don't

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Speaker 2: think this is love bombing. I think he just very

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00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:36,840
Speaker 2: much likes you, and you very much like him, And

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Speaker 2: I don't see what the issue is. Here, here's him

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Speaker 2: and here's you.

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00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:46,720
Speaker 1: You are worthy.

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Speaker 2: I am nothing. Okay.

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Speaker 1: The next day I went to work. He pretended last

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Speaker 1: night never happened. I was freaking out because I wanted

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Speaker 1: to have the talk, but I didn't want to push it.

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00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,439
Speaker 1: I had to talk anyway, and now we're together.

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Speaker 2: Whow that simple?

359
00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:10,120
Speaker 1: We opened up about a lot of things. He had

360
00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:12,320
Speaker 1: no idea why I ran away when I found out

361
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Speaker 1: about the incident. He thought I knew about his injuries

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00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:19,679
Speaker 1: and didn't want him like that. I haven't spoken about

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00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:23,200
Speaker 1: my friend with anyone but a therapist. I finally told him,

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00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:26,720
Speaker 1: and he understood. He said he was jumping from relationship

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00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:29,879
Speaker 1: to relationship to numb his feelings for me because he

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Speaker 1: thought I would never be able to love him back. Well,

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00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:36,679
Speaker 1: this is becoming a beautiful, little, wholesome little story.

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00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:37,680
Speaker 5: Huh.

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00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:40,280
Speaker 1: The night I tried to make the move, it was

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00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:43,640
Speaker 1: the kiss itself that freaked him out. It turns out

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00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:47,399
Speaker 1: that his little schmacksay, a cheeky, slatty, crooked smile, is

372
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,880
Speaker 1: nerve jammage and an ex told him he's the worst

373
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:54,359
Speaker 1: kisser in the world. He's not. He's also brilliant in bed.

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Speaker 1: In that one night, we became closer than in the

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Speaker 1: past seven years, and I told him acting like my

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00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:04,840
Speaker 1: housewife or babysitter won't fly anymore, and he toned it down.

377
00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:07,960
Speaker 1: But he still pampers me to an extent. Right now,

378
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:10,760
Speaker 1: we're like teenagers, glued at the lips, making up for

379
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:13,240
Speaker 1: lost time. He was my best friend for so long,

380
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:16,600
Speaker 1: and I know he's the one for me. This felt

381
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:19,119
Speaker 1: like a relationship for months before it even started. You

382
00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:22,920
Speaker 1: don't say now I got the good stuff on top

383
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:26,680
Speaker 1: of the perfect partnership we already had. So people, talk

384
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:30,320
Speaker 1: to your loved ones. We wasted years beating around the bush.

385
00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:34,720
Speaker 1: Learn from our mistake, and now they're beating around the bush.

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00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:39,800
Speaker 2: Now they're beating the bush.

387
00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:44,600
Speaker 4: Yeah they are, And that's the end of this story,

388
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:46,680
Speaker 4: and we're going on to the next one.

389
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Speaker 2: My fiance moved across the country with me then refuse

390
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:50,919
Speaker 2: to do anything at.

391
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:53,160
Speaker 1: All, Babe. I'm just I'm so tired.

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Speaker 2: I a thirty two female, am engaged to my fiance

393
00:20:57,240 --> 00:20:59,960
Speaker 2: twenty eight male, and we've lived together for two years.

394
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:03,439
Speaker 2: Before that, we're on and off for about half a decade.

395
00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:06,640
Speaker 2: I have been frustrated with him for a long time now,

396
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:08,840
Speaker 2: basically one and a half years, and it is coming

397
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:12,679
Speaker 2: to a peak. By the way, this comes from Arianna

398
00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:15,439
Speaker 2: Raven and if you want to submit your own stories,

399
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:17,320
Speaker 2: go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit.

400
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:20,600
Speaker 1: I'm Savannah, I'm Dakota, I'm Keon, and we are here.

401
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:23,480
Speaker 2: To get some good advice goofy. But we do not

402
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:24,800
Speaker 2: have all of the answers.

403
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:27,359
Speaker 6: We maybe only have a little bit of anceers, or

404
00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:31,080
Speaker 6: or maybe a lot, but they may not all be right,

405
00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:34,960
Speaker 6: you see. But all of your answers are correct because

406
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,360
Speaker 6: you can comment and we'll put a checkmok by each

407
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:41,359
Speaker 6: and everyone that's correct. As Opie says, I work a

408
00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:44,360
Speaker 6: full time job that barely pays well enough to support

409
00:21:44,359 --> 00:21:47,000
Speaker 6: the both of us. We are living paycheck to paycheck

410
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:50,400
Speaker 6: and it is a super demanding job. I'm completely beat

411
00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:52,399
Speaker 6: when I get home. He moved to live with me

412
00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:54,879
Speaker 6: from out of state, and the initial plan was for

413
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:57,080
Speaker 6: him to work at least a part time gig, which

414
00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:59,480
Speaker 6: would allow us to live comfortably and save a little.

415
00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:02,280
Speaker 6: Right now, we have no savings. He hasn't found a

416
00:22:02,359 --> 00:22:04,960
Speaker 6: job in one and a half years. He says he's

417
00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:07,120
Speaker 6: been looking, and I've snooped enough to know he.

418
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:11,000
Speaker 2: Had, But seriously, one and a half years and only

419
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:13,640
Speaker 2: a handful of interviews to show for it. The deal

420
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:15,280
Speaker 2: was he looked for a job and cleaned the house

421
00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:18,639
Speaker 2: while I worked. He hasn't really ever worked a job

422
00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:22,240
Speaker 2: for more than a year consecutively, and he only has

423
00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:26,520
Speaker 2: a high school equivalency. He himmed and halled about going

424
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:28,480
Speaker 2: to college and what he wanted to do for a living.

425
00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:30,919
Speaker 2: I've been trying to help and figure it out, but

426
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:33,080
Speaker 2: he was basically just telling me what I wanted to hear.

427
00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:35,520
Speaker 2: He said he wanted to go to school for it,

428
00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:38,399
Speaker 2: but it turns out he just thought it was something

429
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:42,160
Speaker 2: he could do, not something he actually wanted. Well, yeah,

430
00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:46,480
Speaker 2: that happens, you like, I don't think anyone has found

431
00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:48,800
Speaker 2: their dream job like right out of college or right

432
00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:51,520
Speaker 2: out of high school, Like I mean maybe like once

433
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:53,600
Speaker 2: in a blue moon. Yeah, I feel like, sure that

434
00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:56,720
Speaker 2: can happen, but like for the most part, like you don't.

435
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:59,040
Speaker 2: You have to kind of get there, like you work

436
00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:01,199
Speaker 2: your way up, you know, like work your way up

437
00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:02,199
Speaker 2: the company, work your way up.

438
00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:04,760
Speaker 1: The corporate problem is he's living his dream right now.

439
00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:07,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, he doesn't want to. He's just like, yeah, I've

440
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:12,520
Speaker 2: been looking like every six months, nothing's popped up.

441
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:15,520
Speaker 1: I wouldn't be surprised if he's probably gotten like a yeah,

442
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:17,320
Speaker 1: we'll give you the job, and then he just like

443
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:20,080
Speaker 1: ghosts him. So he can still not have a job,

444
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:22,320
Speaker 1: and you can go and work and he can be

445
00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:24,640
Speaker 1: at home doing whatever he wants all day.

446
00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:28,240
Speaker 2: So even when he said he was looking at programs,

447
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:31,920
Speaker 2: he wasn't really applying himself. So finally I sat him

448
00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:34,399
Speaker 2: down and told him I knew he wasn't doing anything

449
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:37,919
Speaker 2: seriously and asked what he actually wanted to do. I

450
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:40,119
Speaker 2: gave him two weeks to look up career paths and

451
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:43,640
Speaker 2: pick when he could see himself in. After some pushing,

452
00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:45,800
Speaker 2: he picked being a YouTuber.

453
00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:51,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, so that is a career. It's not really like,

454
00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:54,439
Speaker 1: you know, something that you choose when you're like, I

455
00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:57,199
Speaker 1: need to get a part time job to make money

456
00:23:57,280 --> 00:23:59,520
Speaker 1: so I can save up, you know.

457
00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:04,160
Speaker 2: Work towards it. You don't just become viral sensation overnight.

458
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:06,920
Speaker 1: It's something you do while you do a job that

459
00:24:07,119 --> 00:24:11,240
Speaker 1: is guaranteed to give you money now, because that's what

460
00:24:11,359 --> 00:24:11,919
Speaker 1: you need.

461
00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:15,800
Speaker 2: A bit unconventional, but there are people who make a

462
00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:18,239
Speaker 2: good living that way, and he has friends who do it.

463
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:21,240
Speaker 2: I had people support me to get my dream job,

464
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:23,720
Speaker 2: so I figured i'd do the same for him. We

465
00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:26,640
Speaker 2: got him a nice microphone with the promise that if

466
00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:29,280
Speaker 2: we did, he would really commit to YouTube. I told

467
00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:31,359
Speaker 2: him he didn't have to apply for jobs for six

468
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:34,560
Speaker 2: months to get it started. That only lasted about a month,

469
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:36,960
Speaker 2: with inconsistent uploads and again excuses.

470
00:24:37,119 --> 00:24:41,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, shocked, the shocking ist shock of the world.

471
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:44,960
Speaker 2: This guy has no ambition. So I had another talk

472
00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:47,159
Speaker 2: with him. I didn't expect him to make it big,

473
00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:51,720
Speaker 2: just to upload consistently. The style of video he makes

474
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:55,440
Speaker 2: barely requires editing, so he basically just records, checks the sound,

475
00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:57,600
Speaker 2: and calls it a day. We dug into it and

476
00:24:57,640 --> 00:24:59,919
Speaker 2: it came down to a mental block tied to his chin.

477
00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:05,239
Speaker 7: Childhood what I had really bad experiences with YouTube when

478
00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:07,639
Speaker 7: I was little, A sow uploaded video of me on

479
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:09,679
Speaker 7: the toy that and I just really went through a

480
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:10,560
Speaker 7: really traumatic thing.

481
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:13,800
Speaker 2: Are you all right? I work with children who have

482
00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:16,800
Speaker 2: experienced trauma and have studied the effects of trauma on

483
00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:20,360
Speaker 2: the brain and behavior. Thus I've experienced my own childhood issues.

484
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:23,600
Speaker 2: So I tried to be understanding. But after months of

485
00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:26,320
Speaker 2: nothing changing, I told him I was okay with him

486
00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:29,000
Speaker 2: not working as long as he took on ninety percent

487
00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:31,800
Speaker 2: of the cleaning and kept the house clean. He agreed,

488
00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:34,479
Speaker 2: but I came home for months to a house that

489
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:36,720
Speaker 2: was barely clean or not cleaned at all because he

490
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:40,880
Speaker 2: had a bad day. I helped him build schedules, supported

491
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:43,680
Speaker 2: him with his mental health, gave him workbooks and more.

492
00:25:44,359 --> 00:25:46,800
Speaker 2: Right before Christmas, I took vacation time and cleaned the

493
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:50,280
Speaker 2: entire house myself because his foot hurt, even though there

494
00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:52,560
Speaker 2: were plenty of things he could have done that didn't

495
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:56,440
Speaker 2: require standing. So the house is clean, no thanks to him.

496
00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:58,480
Speaker 2: I go back to work and ask him to put

497
00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:01,520
Speaker 2: away the clean dishes, wipe the store, and clean the microwave.

498
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:05,320
Speaker 2: I come home and the microwave isn't clean, some dishes

499
00:26:05,359 --> 00:26:08,280
Speaker 2: are put away wrong, some are still in the rack,

500
00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:11,879
Speaker 2: and the stovetop has spots, and he's playing D and

501
00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:16,280
Speaker 2: D online with his friends. I was mad, he got defensive.

502
00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:19,520
Speaker 2: We talked it out and he promised to do better.

503
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:22,960
Speaker 2: But we have had that conversation over and over again.

504
00:26:23,119 --> 00:26:25,720
Speaker 2: To be fair, he has improved over the last nine months,

505
00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:28,400
Speaker 2: and I wasn't holding him accountable during the first year.

506
00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:31,440
Speaker 2: But I feel more like a mix of mom, therapists

507
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:34,520
Speaker 2: and fiance than anything else. I don't want to be

508
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:37,680
Speaker 2: a naggy sitcom wife. I just want to be a fiance.

509
00:26:38,119 --> 00:26:40,760
Speaker 2: We only have cats, no kids. It's not a ton

510
00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:42,800
Speaker 2: of cleaning, and he gets to spend his days on

511
00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:45,920
Speaker 2: his computer playing video games. He can be supportive when

512
00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:48,200
Speaker 2: I'm going through something emotionally, and I know I'm not

513
00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:50,920
Speaker 2: always the easiest to live with. But he has never

514
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:55,000
Speaker 2: paid a bill or bought groceries. He doesn't drive, he

515
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:57,680
Speaker 2: has a history of bad work ethic and no motivation,

516
00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:01,160
Speaker 2: and without me, he has nothing here. His family and

517
00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:04,439
Speaker 2: he are on the outs. He's halfway across the country

518
00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:06,520
Speaker 2: from where he grew up and knows no one here

519
00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:09,760
Speaker 2: except people he's met through me. So I feel guilty

520
00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:11,840
Speaker 2: and obligated, but I know I shouldn't.

521
00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:15,520
Speaker 1: Yes, because all of those things are his problem.

522
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:17,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, why are you taking this on?

523
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:17,840
Speaker 6: Girl?

524
00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:22,200
Speaker 2: This says like he's the issue, and then you're still

525
00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:25,600
Speaker 2: like you being you are still trying to help him

526
00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:28,040
Speaker 2: and still trying to nurture him and care for him

527
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:30,840
Speaker 2: and whatever, which is great on you, but not when

528
00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:35,840
Speaker 2: you're receiving absolutely zero zero percent back and actually probably

529
00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:38,919
Speaker 2: negative because like, he makes the house dirty when you

530
00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:40,920
Speaker 2: ask him to clean it, he makes it dirtier. When

531
00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:43,560
Speaker 2: you ask him to go fly for this, he you know,

532
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:45,280
Speaker 2: spends money on it and doesn't do it again.

533
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:49,040
Speaker 1: Like, yeah, just sucking the life out of the negative

534
00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:52,840
Speaker 1: mental and spiritual state I would be in if my

535
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:55,639
Speaker 1: partner was like this for a year and a half.

536
00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:58,760
Speaker 1: Just let him play the games, don't pay for any

537
00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:01,640
Speaker 1: of it, and then see what happens.

538
00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:04,200
Speaker 2: I agree with Belton. You know where you can meet

539
00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:04,919
Speaker 2: people work?

540
00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:10,080
Speaker 1: Yeah? Actually, wait, this is a really good idea. Just

541
00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:14,919
Speaker 1: literally cut off the Wi Fi. Say we can't. I

542
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:17,520
Speaker 1: had to make some cuts. We can't afford WiFi anymore.

543
00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:22,639
Speaker 1: And if he goes that's insane. Blah blah blah, you

544
00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:25,200
Speaker 1: can go. Well, you can pay the Wi Fi bill

545
00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:26,760
Speaker 1: when you get a job.

546
00:28:27,359 --> 00:28:27,959
Speaker 5: Huh.

547
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:31,760
Speaker 2: I love him so much, but I'm getting so fed up.

548
00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:34,120
Speaker 2: I would appreciate any advice on how to talk to him.

549
00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:38,000
Speaker 2: And there is an update over two years later. Oh wow,

550
00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:40,920
Speaker 2: two years later, you better not be with him, OPI

551
00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:44,880
Speaker 2: you better not. If it's like so, we're still doing

552
00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:47,200
Speaker 2: the same thing. I'm going to throw this phone across

553
00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:47,560
Speaker 2: the room.

554
00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:50,240
Speaker 1: If it's two years later, he better be gone or

555
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:52,680
Speaker 1: he'd better have one eighty.

556
00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:57,320
Speaker 2: So. In January twenty twenty four, now Female thirty four

557
00:28:57,600 --> 00:29:02,120
Speaker 2: posted about my relationship with my then fiance now Mail

558
00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:03,160
Speaker 2: thirty Okay.

559
00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:06,160
Speaker 1: Let's go. Yes.

560
00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:10,360
Speaker 2: An avalanche of comments hit me, and I was ready

561
00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:12,719
Speaker 2: to hear none of it. In a panic, I deleted

562
00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:14,520
Speaker 2: the post and tried to forget it, but read it

563
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:18,600
Speaker 2: emailed me every single time someone commented. Naturally, I couldn't resist,

564
00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:21,240
Speaker 2: and I read them all. I ignored all the good

565
00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:23,840
Speaker 2: people of Redded and my friends and my family and

566
00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:26,520
Speaker 2: my therapist and my own sound judgment, and I.

567
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:32,920
Speaker 1: Stayed, oh no, well, that's a past tense though. Okay,

568
00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:36,000
Speaker 1: she's gone, it's done now.

569
00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:39,040
Speaker 2: Back then, my self esteem was not good. I was

570
00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:42,600
Speaker 2: dealing with stress from a high demand job, compounded by

571
00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:46,200
Speaker 2: bouts of major depression. Before the post, I had already

572
00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:48,920
Speaker 2: taken a month of sickly from work. After the post,

573
00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:53,280
Speaker 2: I took over two months off. My fiance, let's call him, dominic,

574
00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:56,680
Speaker 2: was all I believed I could get. He did say

575
00:29:56,720 --> 00:29:59,360
Speaker 2: the right things when I was feeling low. Of course,

576
00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:02,600
Speaker 2: I had who specifically feed him lines beforehand so he

577
00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:06,120
Speaker 2: would know what to say. So he didn't. So that's

578
00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:08,760
Speaker 2: you just reiterating to him what he should say, and

579
00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:10,479
Speaker 2: then he's just copy paste.

580
00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:14,400
Speaker 1: And I like, I really do almost feel bad for

581
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:19,280
Speaker 1: this guy, because he's a guy entirely lost in the sauce.

582
00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:22,480
Speaker 1: And I don't know if you can wake I mean,

583
00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:24,720
Speaker 1: I guess you can always wake up at some point,

584
00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:29,200
Speaker 1: but man, that's a pretty brutal time to wake up.

585
00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:34,480
Speaker 1: Thirty better late than never, though, But man, I'm just

586
00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:35,800
Speaker 1: glad ohe he woke up.

587
00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:39,280
Speaker 2: And if I didn't calm down fast enough, he would

588
00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:41,600
Speaker 2: start to cry or shut down, and I would snap

589
00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:44,960
Speaker 2: into helper mode. I was the adult, the fixer, He

590
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:48,040
Speaker 2: was essentially my child, my project, which leads me to

591
00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:50,840
Speaker 2: the second reason I stayed. He had no one but me.

592
00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:54,440
Speaker 2: Some discord friends, sure, but none He felt comfortable opening

593
00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:58,560
Speaker 2: up to buy his own admission. He moved across states

594
00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:00,720
Speaker 2: to live with me. He cut off his family because

595
00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:03,760
Speaker 2: they stopped enabling him, though that's not how either of

596
00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:07,040
Speaker 2: us framed it at the time. His one cousin he

597
00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:10,200
Speaker 2: was close to had passed away. His support system was me,

598
00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:13,320
Speaker 2: just me. Without me, he would lose his house, in

599
00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:17,040
Speaker 2: his food, his entertainment, his plan future, everything. His plan

600
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:18,960
Speaker 2: future is craziest saying.

601
00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:21,480
Speaker 1: He has no plan for his Uesus planned future is

602
00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:26,680
Speaker 1: just be supported by you, entirely in perpetuity.

603
00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:30,720
Speaker 2: Literally, what planned future? Like when he like, he said

604
00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:33,640
Speaker 2: one idea and he didn't even do it for a

605
00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:39,040
Speaker 2: month consistently, Like what planed future? To just feed off

606
00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:41,720
Speaker 2: of you? That's crazy to even put that in there.

607
00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:44,920
Speaker 2: I stayed because I felt it would be my fault

608
00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:47,960
Speaker 2: if he ended up homeless. I had promised him once

609
00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:51,080
Speaker 2: I would never let that happen again. But he also

610
00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:54,640
Speaker 2: promised you that he would work and find a job.

611
00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:58,200
Speaker 2: His family cutting him off was how he ended up

612
00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:01,200
Speaker 2: homeless the first time. Was that a bright red flag?

613
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:02,280
Speaker 3: Yes?

614
00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:04,600
Speaker 2: Did I see it as such?

615
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:05,400
Speaker 6: Yes?

616
00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:08,880
Speaker 2: Did I then turn it into something romantic because he

617
00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:13,200
Speaker 2: told me he thought of me on those cold nights. Foolishly, Yes.

618
00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:17,440
Speaker 2: Dominic and I have known each other since twenty eighteen.

619
00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:21,160
Speaker 2: We met online gaming and he latched onto me. I

620
00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:23,360
Speaker 2: was in the middle of my worst depressive episode at

621
00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:27,000
Speaker 2: the time, isolated, unemployed, and desperate for connection. I dumped

622
00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:30,640
Speaker 2: him in early twenty nineteen, then foolishly wished him happy birthday,

623
00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:32,960
Speaker 2: and by the end of twenty nineteen we were back together.

624
00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:35,600
Speaker 2: He even came out to visit me for the first time,

625
00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:37,840
Speaker 2: and we actually had a lot of fun. He was

626
00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:40,320
Speaker 2: working then, and I had found a job and was

627
00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:44,000
Speaker 2: reintroducing myself to society. Then he quit his job without

628
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:46,680
Speaker 2: another one lined up, after I had begged him not to.

629
00:32:47,240 --> 00:32:50,360
Speaker 2: With no savings and me only just working my way

630
00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:53,040
Speaker 2: out of a depressive episode, I was suddenly supporting two

631
00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:55,920
Speaker 2: people in two different states on a single just above

632
00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:59,840
Speaker 2: minimum wage salary. Eventually I found the courage to end

633
00:32:59,840 --> 00:33:03,280
Speaker 2: it and I got better. Depression lifted, job stabilized, then

634
00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:06,360
Speaker 2: improved into something much better, though far more demanding. It's

635
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:09,800
Speaker 2: almost Christmas. Twenty twenty one, Dominic calls me. He says

636
00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:12,680
Speaker 2: he missed me. I say I missed him too. He

637
00:33:12,720 --> 00:33:15,400
Speaker 2: says he has a job. I say, that's slow your roll.

638
00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:20,720
Speaker 2: He ghosts me until after New Year's and when he

639
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:23,680
Speaker 2: came back, my anxious attachment went buck wild, and I

640
00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:24,560
Speaker 2: told him I.

641
00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:28,360
Speaker 1: Was all in, yeah, just like well, I have to

642
00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:29,640
Speaker 1: be with him. He's the only one I'll ever be

643
00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:31,600
Speaker 1: with my whole life. That's it, This is it. This

644
00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:33,520
Speaker 1: is the end of end of the line for me.

645
00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:37,960
Speaker 2: Then in late January twenty twenty two, Dominic tells me

646
00:33:38,120 --> 00:33:41,120
Speaker 2: he should move out to be with me. HI on

647
00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:47,080
Speaker 2: early relationship Butterflies, I said, brilliant idea. By mid February

648
00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:49,520
Speaker 2: twenty twenty two, he had moved to my state with

649
00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:53,000
Speaker 2: no job lined up, and thus began the events in

650
00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:56,560
Speaker 2: my original post. After that post, I doubled down. I

651
00:33:56,760 --> 00:33:59,200
Speaker 2: tried everything I could think of to get him to

652
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:01,920
Speaker 2: clean the apartment. He'd cleaned the toilet bowl, but not

653
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:04,760
Speaker 2: the seat or the outside. He'd run the dishwasher and

654
00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:07,960
Speaker 2: leave it full for days. He would rarely do anything

655
00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:13,400
Speaker 2: unless I bed cajoled, or lost my temper. I asked

656
00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:16,200
Speaker 2: everyone for advice on how to motivate him. I used

657
00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:19,640
Speaker 2: every good communication skill I knew. I validated him, I

658
00:34:19,719 --> 00:34:23,000
Speaker 2: understood his trauma. I signed him up for therapy. Sometimes

659
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:28,440
Speaker 2: small things shifted, overall no change. Resentment built slowly, and

660
00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:31,720
Speaker 2: then all at once. I had good friends, a supportive family,

661
00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:34,640
Speaker 2: a long time therapist, and I was doing deep work

662
00:34:34,719 --> 00:34:38,040
Speaker 2: on my past trauma, my depression, and my anxiety. I

663
00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:42,200
Speaker 2: got medicated, and slowly, without admitting it to anyone, least

664
00:34:42,239 --> 00:34:46,520
Speaker 2: of all myself, I lost patience in Dominic entirely. The

665
00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:50,120
Speaker 2: relationship was over long before I ever realized it. Of

666
00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:52,400
Speaker 2: all things, it was a conversation with a co worker

667
00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:55,040
Speaker 2: I wasn't even that close to at the time that

668
00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:58,040
Speaker 2: turned the tide. It was late August twenty twenty five.

669
00:34:58,440 --> 00:35:00,600
Speaker 2: I was complaining about Dominic and he said, do you

670
00:35:00,640 --> 00:35:04,040
Speaker 2: want my advice? I said sure. He said, you gotta

671
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:07,000
Speaker 2: leave them for whatever reason. The moment he said it,

672
00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:10,200
Speaker 2: I realized, yes I do, so I did.

673
00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:14,279
Speaker 1: What about the hundreds of random Internet people and strangers,

674
00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:17,160
Speaker 1: you asked? She was, if you're not ready to hear

675
00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:22,080
Speaker 1: that though, like it'll never sink in, Like we both know,

676
00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:27,600
Speaker 1: if someone refuses to be helped and hear the truth,

677
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:32,080
Speaker 1: they just won't hear it. But you can just cross

678
00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:34,839
Speaker 1: your fingers. Hey, maybe someday this person's gonna wake up.

679
00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:38,560
Speaker 2: It was hard. I cried, Dominic cried. I gave him

680
00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:40,440
Speaker 2: the bag I had packed and put him in an

681
00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:42,440
Speaker 2: uber to the local homeless shelter.

682
00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:43,200
Speaker 3: Wow.

683
00:35:43,960 --> 00:35:46,000
Speaker 2: The next day, I bought him a ticket home to

684
00:35:46,040 --> 00:35:48,400
Speaker 2: his family. He had reached out to them when he

685
00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:50,880
Speaker 2: realized I was done. He hadn't spoken to them in

686
00:35:50,920 --> 00:35:52,800
Speaker 2: over a year, but he found a place to stay.

687
00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:55,520
Speaker 2: When I heard that, I cried for a full hour

688
00:35:55,640 --> 00:35:58,560
Speaker 2: at my desk. My coworkers talked me down. A couple

689
00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:00,520
Speaker 2: of them had actually been waiting around on the block

690
00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:04,160
Speaker 2: when I ended it, so I wouldn't be alone afterwards. Oh,

691
00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:07,040
Speaker 2: every single person who knew the situation when I told

692
00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:10,360
Speaker 2: them it was over says some version of oh, thank God.

693
00:36:11,120 --> 00:36:15,439
Speaker 2: My mother said, it's about effing time. The weekend after

694
00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:18,320
Speaker 2: the breakup, I cried a lot. By Monday, I felt better,

695
00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:21,160
Speaker 2: I healed, I moved, I re established the routines I

696
00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:24,720
Speaker 2: had let slip, strengthened my friendships, went to therapy, adjusted

697
00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:28,560
Speaker 2: my meds and got better. Look at you, Opie doing

698
00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:29,200
Speaker 2: it without him?

699
00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:30,920
Speaker 1: Look at you go.

700
00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:36,200
Speaker 2: Months later, on March seventh, twenty six, I was lying

701
00:36:36,239 --> 00:36:38,120
Speaker 2: in bed and cried about the relationship for the first

702
00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:40,959
Speaker 2: time since that weekend. I cried because I am doing

703
00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:44,120
Speaker 2: so much better now. I no longer hate myself. I

704
00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:47,200
Speaker 2: no longer end my days exhausted, I no longer isolate.

705
00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:52,520
Speaker 2: I'm losing weight, I'm making art again. I am happy, yay,

706
00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:59,320
Speaker 2: happy cry yay. For the first time in my adult life,

707
00:36:59,480 --> 00:37:03,440
Speaker 2: I am genuinely, sustainably happy and confident in myself. I

708
00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:05,919
Speaker 2: cried because now I only need therapy once a month

709
00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:08,520
Speaker 2: to check in, because my friendships are strong and my

710
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:11,760
Speaker 2: family is closer than ever. I cannot overstate the difference

711
00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:14,760
Speaker 2: between me now and the woman who wrote that first post.

712
00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:16,839
Speaker 2: I never thought I could get to a place where

713
00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:20,520
Speaker 2: I did not hate the person I am. I mean,

714
00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:21,800
Speaker 2: that's so sad.

715
00:37:22,480 --> 00:37:25,720
Speaker 1: Don't you ever let me catch you thinking that again?

716
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:31,400
Speaker 2: Yeah? What stop it? Stop thinking that you're doing good.

717
00:37:31,280 --> 00:37:32,799
Speaker 1: Due But that's what happens sometimes, man.

718
00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:35,359
Speaker 2: It's like, I mean, yeah, I get it, and that's

719
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:37,600
Speaker 2: why it took you so long to realize it. And

720
00:37:37,680 --> 00:37:40,920
Speaker 2: understand it and whatnot. I get it. I completely get it.

721
00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:44,840
Speaker 2: It's just like reading it, I'm like, oh god, yikes.

722
00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:46,920
Speaker 1: Stories like this are a good reminder that it's like,

723
00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:50,719
Speaker 1: we can trick ourselves into thinking and believing things that

724
00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:54,440
Speaker 1: are simply not true at all. And it's good to

725
00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:58,239
Speaker 1: do like a mental audit of what your thoughts are

726
00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:02,319
Speaker 1: because you are not your mind. Your mind can lie

727
00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:04,400
Speaker 1: to you and tell you things that are not true

728
00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:09,600
Speaker 1: all the time. And yeah, it's it's up to us

729
00:38:09,640 --> 00:38:11,359
Speaker 1: to learn how to decipher it.

730
00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:14,160
Speaker 4: And that's the end of this story, and we're going

731
00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:15,080
Speaker 4: on to the next one.

732
00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:17,960
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Keon, your host with the cakes here. We're

733
00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:19,600
Speaker 1: going to get back to the stories. But here's three

734
00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:23,480
Speaker 1: minutes of ads from our sponsors. My husband was detained

735
00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:26,640
Speaker 1: at the airport as we were boarding our honeymoon flight.

736
00:38:26,800 --> 00:38:29,280
Speaker 5: Oooh man, it sounds like a sign from God.

737
00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:32,520
Speaker 1: I'm Dakota, I'm Keon, and we have a very special

738
00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:33,240
Speaker 1: guest here today.

739
00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:36,200
Speaker 5: I'm Alisia Cooper. Happy to be here.

740
00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:38,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, Alicia, let him know who you are and what

741
00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:39,200
Speaker 1: do you do?

742
00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:42,759
Speaker 8: Okay, I'm actor, comedian director Alisia Cooper, and I do

743
00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:45,680
Speaker 8: a little bit of everything. So, yeah, I'm just I'm

744
00:38:45,719 --> 00:38:48,840
Speaker 8: from the Maryland area, right outside of Washington, DC, and

745
00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:52,560
Speaker 8: I moved here years ago to try and create sitcoms,

746
00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:54,000
Speaker 8: not knowing what that entailed.

747
00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:56,840
Speaker 5: And yeah, so it's been a wild ride.

748
00:38:57,040 --> 00:38:59,560
Speaker 1: I don't even know where to begin. My husband forty

749
00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:02,279
Speaker 1: three and I thirty four. We're about to leave for

750
00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:05,600
Speaker 1: our honeymoon when he was suddenly detained at the airport.

751
00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:07,920
Speaker 1: I had no idea this was coming. I don't think

752
00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:10,880
Speaker 1: he did either. Probably we've been married for a few months.

753
00:39:10,920 --> 00:39:13,879
Speaker 1: Before that, we dated for over a year. And by

754
00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:16,440
Speaker 1: the way, this comes from a deleted user, And if

755
00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:17,960
Speaker 1: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

756
00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:21,239
Speaker 1: r slash okay storytime subbreddit. Let's see what Opie has

757
00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:24,320
Speaker 1: to say here. I have no complaints about our relationship.

758
00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:27,400
Speaker 1: We're extremely compatible and he's never asked me for anything

759
00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:30,840
Speaker 1: and is beyond supportive. It's still in the early days,

760
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:35,040
Speaker 1: but lawyers not retained by myself have advised that his

761
00:39:35,160 --> 00:39:38,080
Speaker 1: sentence will be approximately four months in prison and three

762
00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:41,560
Speaker 1: years probation. I know he's been living openly for at

763
00:39:41,640 --> 00:39:44,760
Speaker 1: least five years in our state. He has not hidden

764
00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:47,920
Speaker 1: any other aspect of his life, and I otherwise have

765
00:39:48,120 --> 00:39:51,799
Speaker 1: open access. Also, I've done background checks in both our

766
00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:54,960
Speaker 1: current state and where he previously lived. Both showed no

767
00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:59,120
Speaker 1: criminal history. We've flown internationally before, about ten months ago,

768
00:39:59,160 --> 00:40:00,839
Speaker 1: and it would have been stupid of him to go

769
00:40:01,160 --> 00:40:04,800
Speaker 1: on another international trip when there was a possibility of arrest.

770
00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:08,959
Speaker 1: I'm truly confounded. I'm confounded too. What did he do?

771
00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:12,320
Speaker 5: I'm confounded too. And she uses words like living openly?

772
00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:14,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, what does that mean?

773
00:40:14,880 --> 00:40:15,839
Speaker 5: What does that mean?

774
00:40:15,920 --> 00:40:16,000
Speaker 1: Like?

775
00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:18,120
Speaker 8: What did they design him for to give him month?

776
00:40:18,200 --> 00:40:20,240
Speaker 8: But that we haven't heard? What is the charge?

777
00:40:20,239 --> 00:40:22,879
Speaker 1: If this guy had to have done something so bad? Yeah,

778
00:40:23,360 --> 00:40:25,839
Speaker 1: it's not even he's on the no fly list?

779
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:27,239
Speaker 4: Yeah?

780
00:40:27,239 --> 00:40:29,400
Speaker 1: And why was it at the airport they were waiting

781
00:40:29,400 --> 00:40:30,680
Speaker 1: for him at the airport?

782
00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:31,200
Speaker 5: Yeah?

783
00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:33,480
Speaker 8: Yeah, now he's on inner poll list like this is.

784
00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:36,920
Speaker 8: But I want to know what they design him for?

785
00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:39,759
Speaker 1: Okay, I think we're about to find out. After his detainment,

786
00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:43,040
Speaker 1: we were able to speak very briefly in a chaotic moment.

787
00:40:43,280 --> 00:40:46,520
Speaker 1: I later found out that he is being extradited for

788
00:40:46,600 --> 00:40:49,359
Speaker 1: a serious crime when I could not even imagine him

789
00:40:49,360 --> 00:40:51,319
Speaker 1: being accused of what is it?

790
00:40:52,560 --> 00:40:53,960
Speaker 5: Oh? A serious crime?

791
00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:56,440
Speaker 1: What serious crime? I feel like this guy tried to

792
00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:59,640
Speaker 1: topple a government somewhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's like, yeah,

793
00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:01,399
Speaker 1: that's why they're getting him at the airport is because

794
00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:03,719
Speaker 1: he's like, yeah, he's actually responsible for the uprising in

795
00:41:03,719 --> 00:41:04,360
Speaker 1: Sri Lanka.

796
00:41:06,040 --> 00:41:07,680
Speaker 5: He sounds like one of those guys that claims to

797
00:41:07,680 --> 00:41:09,040
Speaker 5: be a sovereign citizen.

798
00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:12,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's somebody. Yeah, he's pulling something.

799
00:41:12,760 --> 00:41:13,240
Speaker 5: Yeah.

800
00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:15,840
Speaker 1: So a day later he was able to phone me.

801
00:41:16,239 --> 00:41:20,080
Speaker 1: He apologized, acknowledged the stress that he's put me under,

802
00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:23,719
Speaker 1: and promised to tell me everything. Oh I don't think

803
00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:26,319
Speaker 1: we're gonna find out what he did. I can't. Yeah,

804
00:41:26,360 --> 00:41:26,960
Speaker 1: I can't get it.

805
00:41:27,239 --> 00:41:27,960
Speaker 5: I can't look at it.

806
00:41:28,160 --> 00:41:29,560
Speaker 1: I want to look it up, but I can't. There's

807
00:41:29,680 --> 00:41:32,360
Speaker 1: the users deleted. There's only a handful of things that

808
00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:35,560
Speaker 1: could really be so terrible that you don't even write it.

809
00:41:36,120 --> 00:41:36,880
Speaker 5: Yeah.

810
00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:39,080
Speaker 1: I think this guy might have been on I mean

811
00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:40,680
Speaker 1: he was clearly he was on a no fly list.

812
00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:43,480
Speaker 1: I think he might have been on another list. Yeah yeah,

813
00:41:43,480 --> 00:41:47,240
Speaker 1: I mean's his family insists he's innocent. But I'm playing

814
00:41:47,239 --> 00:41:50,480
Speaker 1: Devil's advocate with myself, not because of his detainment, but

815
00:41:50,520 --> 00:41:53,279
Speaker 1: because he never told me any of this before we

816
00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:57,440
Speaker 1: got married. His omission has shaken the foundation of our relationship.

817
00:41:57,520 --> 00:41:59,799
Speaker 1: I think you've got to have a very very very

818
00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:03,880
Speaker 1: dirty foundation in any relationship when half of it is

819
00:42:03,960 --> 00:42:07,160
Speaker 1: being detained at the airport before you travel, like, that's

820
00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:10,239
Speaker 1: definitely gonna shake some you know, certainty.

821
00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:12,000
Speaker 5: And I want to know if they got their money

822
00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:12,800
Speaker 5: back for the honeymoon.

823
00:42:14,480 --> 00:42:17,080
Speaker 1: I guess that's gonna be delayed. Yeah, yeah, does that

824
00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:21,400
Speaker 1: kunt of extenuating circumstances not by herself anywhere? Well, yeah,

825
00:42:21,440 --> 00:42:23,320
Speaker 1: that'd be great. I hope you do with this, right,

826
00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:24,800
Speaker 1: I'm going to Bermuda.

827
00:42:25,080 --> 00:42:27,840
Speaker 5: I text me, I'll be off for seven days.

828
00:42:28,160 --> 00:42:30,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll be fine. Yeah. I want to know the

829
00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:33,719
Speaker 1: pertinent information of where are they going? You know? Why?

830
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:37,160
Speaker 1: Was why he did he get detained? Well? Oh, p

831
00:42:37,400 --> 00:42:39,960
Speaker 1: says I keep asking myself. Should I hold on to

832
00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:42,600
Speaker 1: hope and give things a chance to play out, or

833
00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:45,440
Speaker 1: am I just prolonging my own suffering. I feel like

834
00:42:45,440 --> 00:42:47,680
Speaker 1: I'm grieving my marriage and my future all at once,

835
00:42:48,040 --> 00:42:51,719
Speaker 1: and I know moving forward will be beyond painful. If

836
00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:55,080
Speaker 1: anyone has been through something similar or has advice on

837
00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:57,719
Speaker 1: how to cope with this level of betrayal, grief and uncertainty.

838
00:42:57,719 --> 00:43:00,920
Speaker 1: Please share. I feel like I'm drowned. And that is

839
00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:03,200
Speaker 1: the end of that story. So we get.

840
00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:04,520
Speaker 5: Nothing, Yeah, we got nothing.

841
00:43:04,640 --> 00:43:06,920
Speaker 8: I mean we know she's thirty four, so she has

842
00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:09,360
Speaker 8: a lot of life left to live. Yeah, you know

843
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:13,160
Speaker 8: this is nobody's ever experienced this before. Whoever you are,

844
00:43:13,280 --> 00:43:15,960
Speaker 8: we don't. All we can do is pray for you

845
00:43:16,040 --> 00:43:20,960
Speaker 8: and your situation. But yeah, you're in a class by yourself.

846
00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:23,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you can maybe like draw a parallel

847
00:43:23,880 --> 00:43:26,319
Speaker 1: to like what it is it really happen. Is you're like, oh,

848
00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:28,399
Speaker 1: I don't think I know this guy that I thought

849
00:43:28,440 --> 00:43:31,200
Speaker 1: I knew. It's like, oh, like he cheated on me

850
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:34,120
Speaker 1: or he stole from me or whatever whatever he did

851
00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:37,360
Speaker 1: is so terrible you can't even say it. I don't

852
00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:39,960
Speaker 1: think you want to stay with that guy. But that

853
00:43:40,160 --> 00:43:42,840
Speaker 1: is the end of that story. A cute girl on

854
00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:47,840
Speaker 1: Tinder introduced me to a crypto investment and I felt hypnotized.

855
00:43:50,280 --> 00:43:52,839
Speaker 8: Well, I hope the investment was a good one, as

856
00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:53,920
Speaker 8: you were hypnotized.

857
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:56,799
Speaker 1: I used to be able to smell a scam from

858
00:43:56,800 --> 00:43:59,680
Speaker 1: a mile away, but I have been left embarrassed and

859
00:43:59,760 --> 00:44:02,680
Speaker 1: shit aimed in falling for something that was clearly dodgy

860
00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:06,359
Speaker 1: and sadly was blinded by my own greed. By the way,

861
00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:09,320
Speaker 1: this comes from user cats and video games. If you

862
00:44:09,320 --> 00:44:11,279
Speaker 1: want to submit your own stories, go to the r

863
00:44:11,360 --> 00:44:14,560
Speaker 1: slash okay storytime subreddit. I'm Dakota, I'm Kean, and we

864
00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:16,000
Speaker 1: have a very special guest here today.

865
00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:18,840
Speaker 5: Hey, I'm Alisia Cooper Alicia.

866
00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:20,680
Speaker 1: Let him know who you are what you do.

867
00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:24,880
Speaker 8: Yes, I am an actor, comedian and a director from

868
00:44:25,160 --> 00:44:28,399
Speaker 8: the great state of Maryland, living in Los Angeles, doing

869
00:44:28,440 --> 00:44:31,160
Speaker 8: stand up full time and trying to move my directing

870
00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:31,960
Speaker 8: brand forward.

871
00:44:32,560 --> 00:44:35,600
Speaker 1: Awesome act media director guests, But we have a story here.

872
00:44:35,640 --> 00:44:38,080
Speaker 1: We're gonna read it together. Ohp says A match with

873
00:44:38,160 --> 00:44:41,080
Speaker 1: a girl from Tinder, A cute Chinese girl near me

874
00:44:41,239 --> 00:44:44,680
Speaker 1: called Anne Red Flag one. We spoke for a week

875
00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:47,400
Speaker 1: and then moved to WhatsApp, where she was using a

876
00:44:47,640 --> 00:44:50,520
Speaker 1: Hong Kong phone number, Red Flag number two. I questioned

877
00:44:50,520 --> 00:44:52,560
Speaker 1: why she had that number, and she said she had

878
00:44:52,640 --> 00:44:55,719
Speaker 1: just traveled back to Shanghai, but is a student in

879
00:44:55,800 --> 00:44:58,879
Speaker 1: my area and was returning in a month. Red Flag

880
00:44:58,960 --> 00:45:01,520
Speaker 1: number three, which honestly you should be read Flag number one.

881
00:45:01,560 --> 00:45:03,960
Speaker 1: People exist in China there are women within a man.

882
00:45:04,280 --> 00:45:06,640
Speaker 1: But this person being like, oh yeah, it's kind of

883
00:45:06,640 --> 00:45:08,160
Speaker 1: like how you said earlier. It was like, oh, I

884
00:45:08,200 --> 00:45:10,160
Speaker 1: was in like a car accident in my phone got

885
00:45:10,280 --> 00:45:13,040
Speaker 1: broken in my pocket and blah blah blah. It's like, yeah, whatever,

886
00:45:13,120 --> 00:45:15,320
Speaker 1: you're weird if you're in Shanghai wire are you on Tinder?

887
00:45:15,360 --> 00:45:18,560
Speaker 1: In wherever I am? Right? At this point I was

888
00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:21,040
Speaker 1: certain she was fake, but over the next week she

889
00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:23,319
Speaker 1: would speak about her day as normal, and would send

890
00:45:23,360 --> 00:45:25,560
Speaker 1: pictures and videos of her going out to places, and

891
00:45:25,560 --> 00:45:28,640
Speaker 1: would send voice messages as if we were close, which

892
00:45:28,640 --> 00:45:32,040
Speaker 1: slowly gained my trust. I tried to reverse image search everything,

893
00:45:32,080 --> 00:45:35,080
Speaker 1: but I couldn't find any results. Around week three, she

894
00:45:35,320 --> 00:45:39,320
Speaker 1: casually brought up cryptocurrency. Now, I was already very invested

895
00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:41,600
Speaker 1: in crypto for a while, and she had an incredible

896
00:45:41,600 --> 00:45:44,640
Speaker 1: amount of knowledge on the subject. She mentioned that she

897
00:45:44,800 --> 00:45:48,640
Speaker 1: sold all her bitcoin, which was roughly a million dollars worth,

898
00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:53,640
Speaker 1: and had invested in an ico for a cryptocurrency called PBM.

899
00:45:53,680 --> 00:45:55,680
Speaker 1: The bleep in the bloorp the blip blop blop. I

900
00:45:55,719 --> 00:45:58,040
Speaker 1: have no idea what any of those letters mean. I

901
00:45:58,160 --> 00:46:00,920
Speaker 1: tried to search for PBM everywhere but it didn't exist,

902
00:46:01,040 --> 00:46:04,960
Speaker 1: so apparently Opie didn't either. I questioned her about it,

903
00:46:05,040 --> 00:46:08,480
Speaker 1: and she said that this was an exclusive ieo which

904
00:46:08,600 --> 00:46:11,440
Speaker 1: was going to be China's only cryptocurrency, which is currently

905
00:46:11,520 --> 00:46:13,960
Speaker 1: only being shared among the big Chinese companies such as

906
00:46:13,960 --> 00:46:17,239
Speaker 1: Ali Baba, ten Cent, Union Page, and Dong et cetera. Okay, now,

907
00:46:17,239 --> 00:46:20,799
Speaker 1: honestly I hear that. I'm like, woh, I'm getting on

908
00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:24,359
Speaker 1: the ground floor of Chinese crypto. Yeah. Yeah, I might

909
00:46:24,400 --> 00:46:25,080
Speaker 1: have fallen for that.

910
00:46:25,440 --> 00:46:27,760
Speaker 5: Yeah, that depends on how much you're gonna risk.

911
00:46:28,120 --> 00:46:30,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you're like, oh, I've got the inside track

912
00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:32,440
Speaker 1: from Anne and Shanghai, Yeah.

913
00:46:32,239 --> 00:46:34,160
Speaker 5: I'm gona take this eleven dollars and make it do

914
00:46:34,200 --> 00:46:34,560
Speaker 5: what to do?

915
00:46:34,680 --> 00:46:37,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, Hong Kong And what happens if I give Hong

916
00:46:37,120 --> 00:46:40,400
Speaker 1: Kong and my life savings, She's going to turn it

917
00:46:40,400 --> 00:46:43,280
Speaker 1: into a hundred trillion Chinese crypto coins.

918
00:46:43,400 --> 00:46:44,000
Speaker 8: Yeah.

919
00:46:44,120 --> 00:46:46,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, thank you for sharing your stories. So this

920
00:46:46,520 --> 00:46:48,719
Speaker 1: didn't happen to me. She only had access to it

921
00:46:48,760 --> 00:46:51,680
Speaker 1: because her uncle works for Ali Baba and also sent

922
00:46:51,719 --> 00:46:54,880
Speaker 1: me a Forbes article which confirmed all of this. She

923
00:46:54,960 --> 00:46:57,080
Speaker 1: says she can give me access to it if I

924
00:46:57,200 --> 00:46:59,600
Speaker 1: click on the link she sent me with an invitation

925
00:46:59,760 --> 00:47:02,480
Speaker 1: code to be given access to the platform. The platform

926
00:47:02,560 --> 00:47:06,600
Speaker 1: was called BFF dot Cash dodgy name red Flag number four.

927
00:47:06,719 --> 00:47:09,160
Speaker 1: I look online and I can't find it anywhere other

928
00:47:09,239 --> 00:47:12,000
Speaker 1: than this link, but I register anyway. It looks like

929
00:47:12,080 --> 00:47:14,160
Speaker 1: a lot of work has gone in to make it

930
00:47:14,200 --> 00:47:17,879
Speaker 1: look as real as possible. I worked a scam job

931
00:47:17,920 --> 00:47:20,600
Speaker 1: that was so bad in Albuquerque, I don't care. I'll

932
00:47:20,600 --> 00:47:23,600
Speaker 1: put them on blast. It was called Shoreline Systems, those

933
00:47:23,719 --> 00:47:27,320
Speaker 1: lying hacks. It had nothing to do with actual sales.

934
00:47:27,400 --> 00:47:29,480
Speaker 1: I had just transitioned out of like a solar sales

935
00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:32,799
Speaker 1: position because my company turned into a scumbag company trying

936
00:47:32,840 --> 00:47:36,520
Speaker 1: to sell you know, solar panels to the Alzheimer's patients

937
00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:38,919
Speaker 1: or whatever. Like That was the mood in the room.

938
00:47:39,160 --> 00:47:40,359
Speaker 1: So I was like, I gotta get out of here.

939
00:47:40,480 --> 00:47:42,520
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, that sounds like a cool company. We

940
00:47:42,520 --> 00:47:46,720
Speaker 1: were selling Kirby vacuum cleaners, like it's nineteen fifty again.

941
00:47:47,320 --> 00:47:50,720
Speaker 1: We're selling vacuums. We're doing door to door knock knock knock.

942
00:47:51,040 --> 00:47:53,480
Speaker 1: Can I sell you a vacuum? By the way, it

943
00:47:53,520 --> 00:47:55,920
Speaker 1: costs like so much you're gonna have to put it

944
00:47:55,960 --> 00:47:59,120
Speaker 1: into a payment plan. Yeah, you know that thing you

945
00:47:59,120 --> 00:48:01,279
Speaker 1: can just go bomb like at the store for a

946
00:48:01,360 --> 00:48:03,960
Speaker 1: hundred bucks, you could buy this one. It's way too

947
00:48:03,960 --> 00:48:07,280
Speaker 1: complicated and asshle to use, and it costs thirteen hundred dollars.

948
00:48:08,840 --> 00:48:10,759
Speaker 5: No, yeah, that's right now.

949
00:48:10,760 --> 00:48:12,840
Speaker 8: I remember my mother and my aunt got scammed in

950
00:48:12,880 --> 00:48:15,880
Speaker 8: the early eighties when microwaves first became all the rage,

951
00:48:16,680 --> 00:48:19,279
Speaker 8: and so they were driving through the streets of Baltimore

952
00:48:19,440 --> 00:48:21,560
Speaker 8: and these guys ran up and was like, we had

953
00:48:21,560 --> 00:48:25,239
Speaker 8: we have microwaves, microwave and twenty dollars whatever the cheap

954
00:48:25,280 --> 00:48:27,560
Speaker 8: price was, and it sounded so good to be true.

955
00:48:27,719 --> 00:48:29,920
Speaker 5: They give this gut, pop your trunk, Pop your trunk.

956
00:48:30,320 --> 00:48:32,400
Speaker 8: So they put the microwave in the trunk and they

957
00:48:32,400 --> 00:48:34,600
Speaker 8: give them the twenty twenty five dollars and pull off.

958
00:48:34,800 --> 00:48:36,440
Speaker 5: They got to the house and it was a box

959
00:48:36,480 --> 00:48:39,120
Speaker 5: of bricks, just.

960
00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:43,000
Speaker 1: A box full of bricks. Didn't even look inside.

961
00:48:43,400 --> 00:48:45,319
Speaker 5: They put in a trunk and slammed it on.

962
00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:46,080
Speaker 4: Man.

963
00:48:46,640 --> 00:48:48,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, don't worry, I got hurry, Harry, Harry, Harry.

964
00:48:48,520 --> 00:48:51,160
Speaker 5: Body, Tom's come. You know the sense of urgency that

965
00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:51,879
Speaker 5: field up.

966
00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:59,239
Speaker 1: Right now, right now? Yeah runs okay, So back into

967
00:48:59,320 --> 00:49:03,440
Speaker 1: op's get being scammed on crypto story. So a lot

968
00:49:03,480 --> 00:49:05,399
Speaker 1: of work went into this website to make it look

969
00:49:05,440 --> 00:49:07,880
Speaker 1: as real as possible. The brand of the platform was

970
00:49:07,920 --> 00:49:10,839
Speaker 1: called eq Exchange, and it gave you a wallet which

971
00:49:10,840 --> 00:49:13,839
Speaker 1: allowed you to invest in the major crypto currencies such

972
00:49:13,880 --> 00:49:17,719
Speaker 1: as Bitcoin and ethereum with accurate price indexes. This is

973
00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:20,239
Speaker 1: major red flag number five. You can only deposit by

974
00:49:20,280 --> 00:49:23,520
Speaker 1: withdrawing crypto from another crypto wallet, which was in my

975
00:49:23,680 --> 00:49:28,359
Speaker 1: case Binance bleep blot blop, and send a screenshot of

976
00:49:28,400 --> 00:49:31,080
Speaker 1: the successful withdraw. I didn't know how to do this,

977
00:49:31,280 --> 00:49:34,680
Speaker 1: and to no surprise to me now she was able

978
00:49:34,719 --> 00:49:37,080
Speaker 1: to give exact instructions on how to do it. And

979
00:49:37,080 --> 00:49:40,240
Speaker 1: you've never had an in person conversation with this person

980
00:49:40,280 --> 00:49:42,920
Speaker 1: and you're just doing all this stuff. That's kind of crazy.

981
00:49:43,000 --> 00:49:46,040
Speaker 1: You met on Tinder, get coffee first before you start

982
00:49:46,080 --> 00:49:50,839
Speaker 1: investing in their Chinese cryptocurrency. Yes, I only deposited one

983
00:49:50,920 --> 00:49:55,440
Speaker 1: thousand dollars of us DT to start with, and I

984
00:49:55,480 --> 00:49:58,000
Speaker 1: would try to withdraw back to finance just to test it,

985
00:49:58,040 --> 00:50:00,600
Speaker 1: and it was transferred back to my Binance wallet within

986
00:50:00,680 --> 00:50:04,040
Speaker 1: twenty minutes. This gained my trust in the platform. And

987
00:50:04,080 --> 00:50:07,319
Speaker 1: put the money into the ICO and it would give

988
00:50:07,400 --> 00:50:10,760
Speaker 1: me about three hundred PBM as the value was about

989
00:50:10,800 --> 00:50:13,880
Speaker 1: three USDT. The next couple of days, she was boasting

990
00:50:13,880 --> 00:50:17,319
Speaker 1: about how she had bought a million PBM when it

991
00:50:17,360 --> 00:50:20,319
Speaker 1: first launched a month earlier at a price of zero

992
00:50:20,440 --> 00:50:23,480
Speaker 1: point zero zero two USDT, and how I should buy

993
00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:26,800
Speaker 1: more because the value is increasing quickly before the ICO

994
00:50:26,960 --> 00:50:30,319
Speaker 1: ends on the twenty fourth of May twenty twenty one.

995
00:50:30,440 --> 00:50:33,319
Speaker 1: Over the next week, I got carried away and ended

996
00:50:33,360 --> 00:50:37,319
Speaker 1: up investing fifty thousand USDT, which is dumb, I know.

997
00:50:37,560 --> 00:50:41,160
Speaker 1: We kept talking for another week and talking about how

998
00:50:41,320 --> 00:50:43,480
Speaker 1: rich we were going to pee, but then she started

999
00:50:43,480 --> 00:50:47,200
Speaker 1: becoming more aggressive about investing more and more, and I

1000
00:50:47,200 --> 00:50:49,800
Speaker 1: should max out credit cards and get a bank loan

1001
00:50:50,120 --> 00:50:54,560
Speaker 1: and use my family's money, which finally woke me up

1002
00:50:54,600 --> 00:50:57,680
Speaker 1: from her spell and I realized I can't actually withdraw

1003
00:50:57,719 --> 00:50:59,839
Speaker 1: my money from this ICO now. I panic and search

1004
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:02,480
Speaker 1: everywhere about possible scams with these details, but I couldn't

1005
00:51:02,480 --> 00:51:05,880
Speaker 1: find anything for ages until I came across a translated

1006
00:51:06,239 --> 00:51:12,440
Speaker 1: Bulgarian article that matches everything that's happened to me. I'm devastated. Well,

1007
00:51:12,440 --> 00:51:16,520
Speaker 1: thank God for Bulgarian journalism, right, m hmm, they're still

1008
00:51:16,520 --> 00:51:18,360
Speaker 1: doing real journalism over there Bulgaria.

1009
00:51:18,640 --> 00:51:18,960
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1010
00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:21,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, have you invested in any crypto?

1011
00:51:21,960 --> 00:51:24,440
Speaker 5: I have not, see. I'm a natural skeptic.

1012
00:51:24,520 --> 00:51:27,440
Speaker 8: We get all the calls and my friends coming about everything,

1013
00:51:27,480 --> 00:51:29,520
Speaker 8: and people who say, you know, you got to invest

1014
00:51:29,520 --> 00:51:29,719
Speaker 8: in this.

1015
00:51:29,760 --> 00:51:31,200
Speaker 5: You go da da da da, And I'm like, let

1016
00:51:31,280 --> 00:51:33,200
Speaker 5: me see how it works out for you first.

1017
00:51:33,600 --> 00:51:36,399
Speaker 8: Yeah, yeah, show me what you put in and show

1018
00:51:36,440 --> 00:51:40,440
Speaker 8: me what you got back, and then I'll consider, you know, investing,

1019
00:51:40,480 --> 00:51:41,840
Speaker 8: But let me see how it works out.

1020
00:51:41,719 --> 00:51:42,280
Speaker 5: For you first.

1021
00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:48,200
Speaker 1: My family's all about physical assets. They're all about like

1022
00:51:48,440 --> 00:51:51,799
Speaker 1: the gold in the silver and like just physical things

1023
00:51:51,880 --> 00:51:53,799
Speaker 1: you can hold in your hand. Yeah, I'm about the

1024
00:51:53,920 --> 00:51:59,359
Speaker 1: Pokemon cards and the lego that's literally until society collapses,

1025
00:52:00,040 --> 00:52:03,360
Speaker 1: those things will not lose their value. No, Like if

1026
00:52:03,480 --> 00:52:07,640
Speaker 1: Pokemon cards and legos beginning to lose value, fill your

1027
00:52:07,680 --> 00:52:12,600
Speaker 1: bathtub up with water because it's all coming down. Okay, anyway,

1028
00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:15,680
Speaker 1: let's finish the story. I don't question her straight away. Instead,

1029
00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:19,600
Speaker 1: I tried to scam her back by convincing her to

1030
00:52:19,600 --> 00:52:25,120
Speaker 1: transfer fifty thousand USDT to my BFF cash wallet and

1031
00:52:25,520 --> 00:52:27,759
Speaker 1: refuse to do it on finance and then take it

1032
00:52:27,800 --> 00:52:31,879
Speaker 1: for myself, but they quickly realized and froze my account. Yeah, dude,

1033
00:52:31,920 --> 00:52:35,440
Speaker 1: you can't scam the scammer. No, you can't do that.

1034
00:52:35,680 --> 00:52:37,640
Speaker 5: You can't com the con exactly.

1035
00:52:38,040 --> 00:52:40,040
Speaker 1: I played dumb to her about it for a while,

1036
00:52:40,080 --> 00:52:42,879
Speaker 1: but she eventually blocked me, and now here I am.

1037
00:52:43,239 --> 00:52:45,440
Speaker 1: I know I'll get if you're dumb enough to fall

1038
00:52:45,480 --> 00:52:48,080
Speaker 1: for it, then you deserve to lose your money, which

1039
00:52:48,160 --> 00:52:50,520
Speaker 1: is true, but I really needed to get this out

1040
00:52:50,520 --> 00:52:54,040
Speaker 1: there for anyone who's about to go through the same situation.

1041
00:52:54,200 --> 00:52:56,439
Speaker 1: Thank you. Oh yeah, and again, thank you. I will

1042
00:52:56,480 --> 00:53:00,759
Speaker 1: never fall for the Chinese cryptos currency scam facy, I

1043
00:53:00,760 --> 00:53:03,960
Speaker 1: appreciate that, Opie. That is the end of that story. Hey,

1044
00:53:04,040 --> 00:53:07,560
Speaker 1: it's Dakota, your favorite goofball host here and we're gonna

1045
00:53:07,560 --> 00:53:09,480
Speaker 1: get back to the stories. But here's three minutes of

1046
00:53:09,520 --> 00:53:13,600
Speaker 1: ads from our sponsors. My boyfriend moved to another state

1047
00:53:13,760 --> 00:53:16,319
Speaker 1: and it changed everything between us.

1048
00:53:16,640 --> 00:53:19,520
Speaker 5: We're good out.

1049
00:53:19,760 --> 00:53:22,520
Speaker 1: I thought this guy was the love of my life.

1050
00:53:22,600 --> 00:53:25,280
Speaker 1: He recently moved to a different state a few hours

1051
00:53:25,280 --> 00:53:28,680
Speaker 1: away through something temporary work related, but it's in an

1052
00:53:28,719 --> 00:53:31,719
Speaker 1: area we were both open to living in. So we

1053
00:53:31,840 --> 00:53:34,080
Speaker 1: talked about me moving there with him if he likes

1054
00:53:34,120 --> 00:53:36,560
Speaker 1: the area after a few months, or he would just

1055
00:53:36,680 --> 00:53:39,880
Speaker 1: come back home after the few months of long distance.

1056
00:53:40,239 --> 00:53:43,520
Speaker 1: But that's not gonna happen, because now the man I

1057
00:53:43,640 --> 00:53:46,879
Speaker 1: saw myself having a future with is cutting me out

1058
00:53:46,920 --> 00:53:49,680
Speaker 1: of his future. By the way, this comes from user

1059
00:53:49,760 --> 00:53:52,080
Speaker 1: alarming bid four four seven one. If you want to

1060
00:53:52,080 --> 00:53:54,560
Speaker 1: submit your own stories, go to the Arslage Showkay Storytime,

1061
00:53:54,640 --> 00:53:58,000
Speaker 1: subburn it. I'm Dakota, I'm Keon and a very special

1062
00:53:58,000 --> 00:53:58,479
Speaker 1: guest here.

1063
00:53:58,400 --> 00:53:59,840
Speaker 5: Today, Alisha Cooper.

1064
00:54:00,760 --> 00:54:04,640
Speaker 1: Welcome, Alicia. Tell us a little bit about what you're

1065
00:54:04,719 --> 00:54:06,359
Speaker 1: doing and what you got going on.

1066
00:54:06,560 --> 00:54:11,040
Speaker 8: Well, I am an actor, comedian, and director. I'm working

1067
00:54:11,080 --> 00:54:14,600
Speaker 8: on my fifth short film, and I'm at the Comedy

1068
00:54:14,640 --> 00:54:15,400
Speaker 8: Store on the weekends.

1069
00:54:15,400 --> 00:54:16,839
Speaker 5: I'm actually there this weekend.

1070
00:54:16,560 --> 00:54:19,480
Speaker 1: Regular at the Comedy Store. Weekend regular at the Comedy Store.

1071
00:54:19,680 --> 00:54:22,279
Speaker 5: Yeah. Yeah, the crowds are great, and it's gotta be

1072
00:54:22,320 --> 00:54:25,280
Speaker 5: a good feeling. Yeah, it's good. It's good.

1073
00:54:25,440 --> 00:54:27,600
Speaker 8: And you get to be around so many comics that

1074
00:54:27,640 --> 00:54:30,520
Speaker 8: are doing stuff like they are really knowing stuff. So

1075
00:54:30,920 --> 00:54:32,880
Speaker 8: it's a fun environment and the shows are good if

1076
00:54:32,880 --> 00:54:33,720
Speaker 8: you can make it down.

1077
00:54:33,880 --> 00:54:36,759
Speaker 1: Hope, he says. It started with his work making him

1078
00:54:36,800 --> 00:54:39,279
Speaker 1: too busy to call me as often, but he'd still

1079
00:54:39,320 --> 00:54:42,000
Speaker 1: be posting on social media, and his location would be

1080
00:54:42,080 --> 00:54:44,600
Speaker 1: at the gym or the coffee shop or whatever. He's

1081
00:54:44,600 --> 00:54:46,400
Speaker 1: allowed to have a life, but it hurt I was

1082
00:54:46,440 --> 00:54:50,359
Speaker 1: being prioritized less. Then he started following random women from

1083
00:54:50,400 --> 00:54:52,960
Speaker 1: that city on social media. At first, it was a

1084
00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:56,480
Speaker 1: few enough that I assumed they were genuine friends or connections,

1085
00:54:56,520 --> 00:54:59,120
Speaker 1: but at some point there were so many random hot

1086
00:54:59,200 --> 00:55:03,120
Speaker 1: women who didn't even always follow him back. I realized

1087
00:55:03,320 --> 00:55:05,680
Speaker 1: he must be on a dating app or meeting them

1088
00:55:05,800 --> 00:55:09,000
Speaker 1: more than just randomly. Then he started answering my texts

1089
00:55:09,040 --> 00:55:11,920
Speaker 1: less and less and turning his location off more and

1090
00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:14,120
Speaker 1: more often. Even when he does reply to me, our

1091
00:55:14,239 --> 00:55:17,440
Speaker 1: dynamic has changed. He just acts like a coworker that

1092
00:55:17,520 --> 00:55:21,000
Speaker 1: doesn't want small talk and makes it uncomfortable and weird.

1093
00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:23,600
Speaker 1: As of today, I haven't heard from him in over

1094
00:55:23,640 --> 00:55:26,840
Speaker 1: a day, but he's posted multiple times on his Instagram.

1095
00:55:26,840 --> 00:55:29,200
Speaker 1: I'm assuming the relationship is beyond saving, but it hurts

1096
00:55:29,280 --> 00:55:31,560
Speaker 1: me so much that this is how it's going to end.

1097
00:55:31,719 --> 00:55:34,160
Speaker 1: We weren't ever fighting. We got along so well and

1098
00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:37,959
Speaker 1: spent every second together just having amazing memories before he left.

1099
00:55:38,080 --> 00:55:40,960
Speaker 1: At least if there was a disagreement or any kind

1100
00:55:40,960 --> 00:55:43,359
Speaker 1: of issue, I would have closure. But instead the man

1101
00:55:43,400 --> 00:55:46,000
Speaker 1: I thought I was going to marry is basically ghosting me,

1102
00:55:46,320 --> 00:55:49,200
Speaker 1: like some meaningless talking stage. We do have a little

1103
00:55:49,280 --> 00:55:51,719
Speaker 1: update here, but yeah, I think you might have been

1104
00:55:51,800 --> 00:55:56,200
Speaker 1: looking at this completely differently than your partner was. And

1105
00:55:56,239 --> 00:55:58,080
Speaker 1: it's a good thing that you found out. Oh, in

1106
00:55:58,120 --> 00:56:01,160
Speaker 1: a way, you know, h it is a good thing.

1107
00:56:01,480 --> 00:56:04,040
Speaker 8: I mean it's sad because you know, they were doing

1108
00:56:04,120 --> 00:56:07,480
Speaker 8: fine until he moved, and some people don't need space

1109
00:56:08,880 --> 00:56:11,000
Speaker 8: because they get a space and then they use it.

1110
00:56:11,400 --> 00:56:13,719
Speaker 8: So he was free and he was like, I'm going

1111
00:56:13,800 --> 00:56:16,040
Speaker 8: to see what I can find locally, and that's what

1112
00:56:16,080 --> 00:56:18,959
Speaker 8: he did. So it's unfortunate, but I mean he could

1113
00:56:18,960 --> 00:56:20,600
Speaker 8: have done the same thing had you moved there too.

1114
00:56:20,719 --> 00:56:23,239
Speaker 8: He had just been cheating, yeah, and figuring out a

1115
00:56:23,239 --> 00:56:25,920
Speaker 8: more creative way to do it. So enough got they

1116
00:56:25,960 --> 00:56:28,560
Speaker 8: have enough of a foundation for him to move away,

1117
00:56:28,600 --> 00:56:29,880
Speaker 8: and you guys will still last.

1118
00:56:29,960 --> 00:56:30,680
Speaker 5: Unfortunately.

1119
00:56:30,920 --> 00:56:33,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's better for a partner to completely check out

1120
00:56:34,760 --> 00:56:38,000
Speaker 1: before you're legally married to them. Yes, that makes the

1121
00:56:38,080 --> 00:56:39,440
Speaker 1: process a lot simpler.

1122
00:56:39,560 --> 00:56:40,560
Speaker 5: Yeah, And a lot cheaper.

1123
00:56:40,760 --> 00:56:43,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, we do have an update here. I wonder what's

1124
00:56:43,600 --> 00:56:46,840
Speaker 1: gonna happen here. So this is not the update I wanted,

1125
00:56:47,120 --> 00:56:50,200
Speaker 1: but what everyone told me to expect. He is seeing

1126
00:56:50,239 --> 00:56:54,480
Speaker 1: someone new. Oh no, you didn't know that. Oh I'm sorry.

1127
00:56:55,080 --> 00:56:57,840
Speaker 1: Yeah he was. Yeah, he was doing that. My womanly

1128
00:56:57,920 --> 00:57:00,799
Speaker 1: instincts just kind of pointed to one of the women

1129
00:57:00,840 --> 00:57:03,440
Speaker 1: he had followed on Instagram for the past week, I

1130
00:57:03,480 --> 00:57:07,359
Speaker 1: was using a fake account to view her stories. And tonight, Oh, oh,

1131
00:57:07,360 --> 00:57:10,560
Speaker 1: don't do that. Just move on, please try, just detach.

1132
00:57:10,680 --> 00:57:13,560
Speaker 1: Move on. This is just hurting you. This isn't helping anybody.

1133
00:57:13,719 --> 00:57:14,560
Speaker 1: This isn't helping you.

1134
00:57:15,239 --> 00:57:15,880
Speaker 2: This just hurts.

1135
00:57:15,960 --> 00:57:19,520
Speaker 1: This is hurts, salt in the wound. Ah, okay, sorry,

1136
00:57:19,560 --> 00:57:21,520
Speaker 1: all right. For the past week, I was using a

1137
00:57:21,520 --> 00:57:24,200
Speaker 1: fake account of view her stories, and tonight she posted

1138
00:57:24,240 --> 00:57:27,240
Speaker 1: a picture across a table on a date with him

1139
00:57:27,480 --> 00:57:30,880
Speaker 1: holding her hand and smiling at the camera with a

1140
00:57:30,920 --> 00:57:34,400
Speaker 1: heart and rose emoji. He clearly has no issues posing

1141
00:57:34,400 --> 00:57:36,520
Speaker 1: for a picture like that to be posted on her

1142
00:57:36,520 --> 00:57:39,040
Speaker 1: public Instagram story. At this point, it's clear he's not

1143
00:57:39,080 --> 00:57:41,320
Speaker 1: even trying to hide the fact that he's not dating

1144
00:57:41,320 --> 00:57:43,960
Speaker 1: me anymore. I'm sure maybe there's a couple of situations

1145
00:57:43,960 --> 00:57:46,120
Speaker 1: that would warrant it, but like, you know, she's kind

1146
00:57:46,120 --> 00:57:49,280
Speaker 1: of being the private investigator now, yeah, but you already

1147
00:57:49,360 --> 00:57:51,840
Speaker 1: know it's over. Yeah, So now you're just kind of

1148
00:57:52,080 --> 00:57:54,040
Speaker 1: you're just taking the hammer and you're just you're just

1149
00:57:54,120 --> 00:57:58,080
Speaker 1: kind of smashing your your digits with it. Why are

1150
00:57:58,080 --> 00:58:01,480
Speaker 1: you doing that? That's just hurting you. So don't do that.

1151
00:58:02,120 --> 00:58:04,320
Speaker 1: I don't know. Sometimes people were just crazy about Like

1152
00:58:04,360 --> 00:58:06,320
Speaker 1: I was definitely in a relationship before where I just

1153
00:58:06,320 --> 00:58:08,000
Speaker 1: had crazy brain and I was just like, you know,

1154
00:58:08,080 --> 00:58:10,240
Speaker 1: any whatever, it doesn't matter. Whatever this person is doing

1155
00:58:10,320 --> 00:58:12,360
Speaker 1: is fine. And maybe they were just in like a

1156
00:58:12,480 --> 00:58:13,320
Speaker 1: situation like that.

1157
00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:14,360
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1158
00:58:14,440 --> 00:58:16,800
Speaker 8: Yeah, I mean I feel bad for her, but you know,

1159
00:58:16,840 --> 00:58:19,520
Speaker 8: at least she knows now before she even relocated, it's

1160
00:58:19,560 --> 00:58:22,680
Speaker 8: time for her to move on, because he clearly has.

1161
00:58:23,200 --> 00:58:25,760
Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean, if you lifted your whole life up

1162
00:58:25,800 --> 00:58:28,600
Speaker 1: and then moved it to this other town and then

1163
00:58:28,640 --> 00:58:30,920
Speaker 1: I gotta imagine he would be like, oh wait, you

1164
00:58:30,960 --> 00:58:31,240
Speaker 1: did that.

1165
00:58:34,200 --> 00:58:34,640
Speaker 6: Why?

1166
00:58:35,120 --> 00:58:38,200
Speaker 1: I mean, yay, thank you, I'm so happy.

1167
00:58:38,880 --> 00:58:40,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, It's not like this guy would have never let

1168
00:58:40,920 --> 00:58:41,360
Speaker 5: her move in.

1169
00:58:41,880 --> 00:58:45,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean that's yeah, he just disappeared off to

1170
00:58:45,080 --> 00:58:47,320
Speaker 1: finish the earth. Just stop talking you. Oh yeah, yeah,

1171
00:58:47,440 --> 00:58:49,800
Speaker 1: so Op finishes the story here. He never gave me

1172
00:58:49,840 --> 00:58:53,120
Speaker 1: any closure. He never told me he wanted to break up. Nothing.

1173
00:58:53,400 --> 00:58:56,760
Speaker 1: He just decided to take the cowards way out, Yes,

1174
00:58:56,800 --> 00:58:59,400
Speaker 1: he did, and started ghosting me after we had been

1175
00:58:59,400 --> 00:59:02,240
Speaker 1: together all day time. I'm upset because I was the

1176
00:59:02,240 --> 00:59:05,000
Speaker 1: one who convinced him to take this job opportunity, and

1177
00:59:05,040 --> 00:59:07,280
Speaker 1: if he had stayed here, then maybe he wouldn't have

1178
00:59:07,320 --> 00:59:09,640
Speaker 1: cheated on me. I know he would have eventually, but

1179
00:59:09,840 --> 00:59:11,720
Speaker 1: my brain keeps telling me that it could have all

1180
00:59:11,720 --> 00:59:13,880
Speaker 1: worked out differently. I mean, yeah, it certainly could have

1181
00:59:13,920 --> 00:59:16,040
Speaker 1: worked out differently. You find out he cheats on you

1182
00:59:16,120 --> 00:59:18,200
Speaker 1: after you, guys settle down and buy a house and

1183
00:59:18,240 --> 00:59:22,200
Speaker 1: have some kids, that would probably be a little bit worse.

1184
00:59:22,560 --> 00:59:24,400
Speaker 5: Yeah, cut your losses and be grateful.

1185
00:59:24,720 --> 00:59:28,040
Speaker 1: That's right. That is right. Also, this whole time, I

1186
00:59:28,080 --> 00:59:30,240
Speaker 1: had just been hoping that this was all some kind

1187
00:59:30,280 --> 00:59:33,400
Speaker 1: of miscommunication and it was all in my head and

1188
00:59:33,440 --> 00:59:36,320
Speaker 1: he actually did still love me and wanted to be dating.

1189
00:59:36,720 --> 00:59:38,720
Speaker 1: I was trying to believe nothing was wrong. But now

1190
00:59:38,760 --> 00:59:41,480
Speaker 1: that has all come crashing down. I'm so heartbroken that

1191
00:59:41,520 --> 00:59:43,920
Speaker 1: he chose someone else over me, and I'm heartbroken that

1192
00:59:43,960 --> 00:59:47,120
Speaker 1: he ghosted me and I wasn't even important enough to

1193
00:59:47,200 --> 00:59:51,680
Speaker 1: him to break up properly. Why because he was a

1194
00:59:51,720 --> 00:59:54,320
Speaker 1: secret scumbag this whole time. You just didn't know it.

1195
00:59:54,440 --> 00:59:57,480
Speaker 1: He kept it on the down low, but he was

1196
00:59:57,520 --> 01:00:00,680
Speaker 1: a scumbag. You can't really do this without being a scumbag. True,

1197
01:00:00,960 --> 01:00:02,800
Speaker 1: there's a thing in your brain that makes you go,

1198
01:00:03,280 --> 01:00:06,320
Speaker 1: I can't do this. This is a bad, bad thing

1199
01:00:06,360 --> 01:00:08,360
Speaker 1: to do to somebody I care about, So I'm not

1200
01:00:08,400 --> 01:00:11,120
Speaker 1: gonna do this. He doesn't have that. So you found

1201
01:00:11,160 --> 01:00:14,560
Speaker 1: out and that's fine. Now it's time to do exactly that.

1202
01:00:14,600 --> 01:00:17,160
Speaker 1: It's cut your losses and don't be like, oh what

1203
01:00:17,240 --> 01:00:20,200
Speaker 1: did I do? No, you're perfect, You're great, You're golden.

1204
01:00:20,600 --> 01:00:23,360
Speaker 1: Hit the gym, right, that's the best post breakup advice

1205
01:00:23,400 --> 01:00:26,440
Speaker 1: of all time. Just go to the gym. Strengthen your body,

1206
01:00:26,680 --> 01:00:27,640
Speaker 1: strengthen your mind.

1207
01:00:27,880 --> 01:00:31,200
Speaker 8: It's sad, but it's true, you know. And nobody likes

1208
01:00:31,240 --> 01:00:33,040
Speaker 8: to feel like they've been played. Nobody likes to have

1209
01:00:33,080 --> 01:00:36,720
Speaker 8: to start over. Starting over is the absolute worst, But

1210
01:00:37,040 --> 01:00:39,200
Speaker 8: you know, got to do it now. Like you said

1211
01:00:39,240 --> 01:00:41,520
Speaker 8: the Cody, you could have kids with this person. A

1212
01:00:41,600 --> 01:00:43,680
Speaker 8: property with this person. Now you have to try to

1213
01:00:43,760 --> 01:00:46,640
Speaker 8: untangle all this stuff and at least you found out prior,

1214
01:00:46,760 --> 01:00:49,640
Speaker 8: so just keep moving forward and you'll find the right person.

1215
01:00:49,720 --> 01:00:52,400
Speaker 8: But yeah, it's just people don't like starting over and

1216
01:00:52,440 --> 01:00:55,400
Speaker 8: that's why so many people stay in awful relationships too.

1217
01:00:55,920 --> 01:00:57,040
Speaker 1: That was the end of that story.