Speaker 1: Swine Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio podcast.
Speaker 2: He never gets told.
Speaker 3: Mark is spicy today?
Speaker 4: What do you do?
Speaker 3: He's spicy. That's the best word I can say for
Speaker 3: him right now. He's just spicy.
Speaker 2: It's ready to battle.
Speaker 3: You are? What's up with you?
Speaker 1: It's been a long week and it's only Tuesday morning.
Speaker 3: I mean, what do you doing? That stings it? Okay, technically,
Speaker 3: you know, Monday not bad?
Speaker 1: Four thirty, normal, normal day.
Speaker 3: Mark. Mark is the producer of the Ryan Sea Crush Show,
Speaker 3: and he has the pleasure of doing our show, the privilege.
Speaker 1: It is a pleasure. It's a delight to each week.
Speaker 3: Well, I just I like it when you're spicy.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 3: Just I don't know. You just have a little too
Speaker 3: too you and I like it. I appreciate that.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: No, we were talking about that on the way here.
Speaker 3: I said, if I ever have an assistant, I just
Speaker 3: the thing for me is I'm I'm always like five
Speaker 3: steps ahead. Yeah, so it's hard for someone to be
Speaker 3: six steps.
Speaker 2: You naturally kind of expect people to.
Speaker 3: Read your mind. I get my timelines. My timeline is
Speaker 3: just different than most people. So I like to just
Speaker 3: I want to do it. I want done now, which
Speaker 3: is what we get on each other for sometimes Again,
Speaker 3: if you sat down, like, for example, we're just going
Speaker 3: through our house stuff right now with the builds. Oh,
Speaker 3: by the way, that cough, I'm gonna talk about that
Speaker 3: in a second. Right, No, no, no, we're on this one.
Speaker 3: So we're going through the house thing and we have
Speaker 3: to change something with our builder. So I was like,
Speaker 3: are you going to call Justin? He's like, y'all call him.
Speaker 3: Two seconds later, I'll call Justin. I'll call him. He's like, no,
Speaker 3: I'll call him. I was like, why isn't your phone
Speaker 3: in your hand, because again, it.
Speaker 2: Can give me two minutes just finished processing my thoughts
Speaker 2: or what we were looking at. You're like, oh, well
Speaker 2: I can call him, like easy, Tiger, Like, I got it.
Speaker 3: I'll just call him.
Speaker 2: It's really good, ridiculous.
Speaker 3: I know my timeline is just now and then that cough.
Speaker 3: Literally at three o'clock in the morning, it's like he
Speaker 3: wanted to wake me up. Because at three o'clock in
Speaker 3: the morning, I see his face in my face and
Speaker 3: he goes and I'm like, oh, good morning, hello, I
Speaker 3: guess I'm up. I guess I'm up. Now I don't
Speaker 3: know what it is. Did you just want me to
Speaker 3: wake up?
Speaker 2: No, I thought I was dying. Yeah, I can breathe.
Speaker 3: He's had this thing. Actually I'm kind of concerned. Go ahead,
Speaker 3: but what you can't breathe in the middle of the night.
Speaker 2: Well, it happened like once where I got up in
Speaker 2: the middle of the night and I was having chest
Speaker 2: pains and I could not catch I couldn't catch my breath.
Speaker 2: I couldn't and I was like up by the door,
Speaker 2: like hit him in the wall because I was like,
Speaker 2: and Jane's like, are you okay? And I wanted to say,
Speaker 2: like shut up, like I'm dying, but I couldn't. So
Speaker 2: it was really weird. It was actually really scary. And yeah,
Speaker 2: last night I kind of had the feeling of similar
Speaker 2: where I'll take a deep inhale when I get to
Speaker 2: the top of my breath, i'd kind of start to
Speaker 2: feel that again. I'm like, what the hell is going
Speaker 2: on with me?
Speaker 3: It sounds like anxiety is what I told you this one.
Speaker 2: This is like a physical thing.
Speaker 3: This doesn't seem like an anxiety is physical. It's not
Speaker 3: just in your head, even though you think it's always
Speaker 3: just in my head. This isn't just in your head.
Speaker 1: I mean, it could be anxiety, it could be physical,
Speaker 1: could be both. I had a roommate who was actually
Speaker 1: still a good friend and godfather of one of my kids.
Speaker 1: He had an issue when he would wake up in
Speaker 1: the middle of the night and whatever position he was
Speaker 1: in that would cause this and his throat would close. Oh,
Speaker 1: and so you would wake up to him literally running
Speaker 1: around the house going It was almull and scary, but
Speaker 1: he'd be running your own making that noise. And the
Speaker 1: first time it happened, we didn't know what was going on,
Speaker 1: and then we kind of got used to it, unfortunately,
Speaker 1: but it's a scary thing, like what would you do?
Speaker 1: He would have to run around, run around the house,
Speaker 1: so I don't think that's necessary. He would call and
Speaker 1: eventually he would the panic would subside and it would
Speaker 1: he would calm down, and then it would start to
Speaker 1: get better.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, terrifying.
Speaker 1: It was terrifying.
Speaker 3: Die, Well, you need to figure that out. But I
Speaker 3: think in that moment, whenever I've had anxiety, if whether
Speaker 3: it's anxiety or not, but breathing to open up your lungs,
Speaker 3: you put your arms up so for your daughter too.
Speaker 3: For some reason, you're having anxiety or anything like that,
Speaker 3: you put.
Speaker 2: Your hands up.
Speaker 3: He put your hands up and your lungs open up.
Speaker 3: Apparently that's what someone told all right, well I probably
Speaker 3: read in Cosmo.
Speaker 2: I'll try it. But yeah, I mean so we've been up.
Speaker 2: Really we got Easton and Mark beat because we've been
Speaker 2: up since like three.
Speaker 3: That's true. Yea, guys. The cough because the cough, the cough,
Speaker 3: And I said thank you because I have not been
Speaker 3: able to go to bed because then I was up,
Speaker 3: and then Jay started crying, and then I was I
Speaker 3: had the middle of the night feed. So yeah, go
Speaker 3: team Go, go team girl. So fun, So it's up.
Speaker 2: I had an interest saying, so I saved this. You
Speaker 2: know you always talk about save it for the podcast.
Speaker 3: So are we going to get in a fight. I
Speaker 3: really don't want to fight. I'm in a great mood.
Speaker 3: I really like you right now Valentine's Day, Like it's
Speaker 3: all good, all.
Speaker 2: Right, we'll scratch that for next week. No, no, no, no,
Speaker 2: it's it's not it's not a fight.
Speaker 3: It's oh no, it's something about it.
Speaker 2: It's it's introspectives. What's what that's what we talk about,
Speaker 2: give the people what they want to hear. So when
Speaker 2: we were up in Monterey right at the golf tournament
Speaker 2: this past weekend, we got home from the tournament and
Speaker 2: we were kind of winding down. Pun intended, you're welcome.
Speaker 3: Wait back home to the hotel or like home to the.
Speaker 2: House at the hotel. Okay, okay, and you in the
Speaker 2: bathroom start a bath.
Speaker 3: Yeah okay.
Speaker 2: As soon as you did that, I immediately started to
Speaker 2: get anxiety, really because.
Speaker 3: It's so funny, because I have something to say around this.
Speaker 2: I just assumed that I anticipated you saying, hey, like,
Speaker 2: I'm drawing a bath, do you want to come in?
Speaker 2: And my initial thought was like no, like no, like
Speaker 2: I'm gonna have to say no to her. That was
Speaker 2: my thought is I'm gonna have to say no to you,
Speaker 2: and then you're gonna, you know, get upset and be
Speaker 2: like you don't want to be intimate and blah blah blah.
Speaker 2: But by allowing you just to do that and me
Speaker 2: stay in the other room and I got to go
Speaker 2: to the bathroom while you were in there, you have to.
Speaker 3: Take a boop. We're a relaxing bubble bath.
Speaker 2: You gotta do no, that time I didn't. I still
Speaker 2: had to, but that time I did. So I go
Speaker 2: into the bathroom and I was like nervous to go
Speaker 2: in the bathroom because I'm like, she's gonna see me,
Speaker 2: she's gonna be like, hey, come in the bath with me.
Speaker 2: So I get in and get out safe, like I
Speaker 2: made it out safe and alive without without you asking.
Speaker 2: So I was like, okay, anxiety gone. But then sitting
Speaker 2: in bed, I was like, you know what, I kind
Speaker 2: of want to go in there. But it was because
Speaker 2: but it's weird. It's but that's how I felt. It
Speaker 2: was because you did not ask me. I didn't feel
Speaker 2: the pressure ultimately to not do it, like I just
Speaker 2: ended up doing it because I wanted to. But it's
Speaker 2: like it's something with me. When it's someone else's idea
Speaker 2: or someone else's you know, motivate, it's I'm uncomfortable with
Speaker 2: it for whatever reason. And that could even be sometimes
Speaker 2: when you asked me if I want to work out
Speaker 2: because it was your idea, I'm like, actually, I'm okay
Speaker 2: right now, But if I had the idea before that,
Speaker 2: then I wouldn't go work out, Like I'm completely motivated.
Speaker 3: Where does that come from.
Speaker 2: I don't know, but it's just something I've I've noticed
Speaker 2: more in different kinds of situations, whether again it's something
Speaker 2: intimate like the bath or something as stupid as working out.
Speaker 3: That's so interesting. I mean even that probably correlates to
Speaker 3: with them, we're in bed and you felt like we
Speaker 3: had to have sex, and then that's when you leave
Speaker 3: your head because it was always the routine.
Speaker 2: In the past two months, we've had more sex, yeah,
Speaker 2: and than we have in the last year.
Speaker 3: Give us a sound real, that's it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, It's like, if it wasn't my idea, then it
Speaker 2: doesn't feel like I don't know, it's just weird. It's
Speaker 2: just something that came up for me.
Speaker 3: I'm super curious to see what your therapist and where
Speaker 3: that comes from.
Speaker 2: I know, I mean, you know me, I've always had
Speaker 2: an issue.
Speaker 3: With well you don't like yeah, you don't like that,
Speaker 3: But this is different. This is may being like, hey,
Speaker 3: spend some time with me.
Speaker 2: I know, but it's like, because it wasn't my idea,
Speaker 2: I get uncomfortable.
Speaker 3: Wow. Yeah, do you want to know something funny around
Speaker 3: the bathtub thing? Though? This is so funny that you
Speaker 3: brought this up. I was actually annoyed that you came
Speaker 3: in the bathtub. Oh I was, because it almost like
Speaker 3: this is my time. Oh that's it's so funny. That's
Speaker 3: why I started laughing when you brought this up, because
Speaker 3: I'm like, man, you know, I know I was. I
Speaker 3: was initially because that's why I didn't ask you, because
Speaker 3: I didn't want you to come in. I genuinely wanted
Speaker 3: to just relax on my own. We just spent and
Speaker 3: you know, the entire day walking around a golf course,
Speaker 3: you know, for you, and I just wanted to have
Speaker 3: my moment to just be in the bath and relax.
Speaker 3: The lavender, you know, bath salts and.
Speaker 2: That is hilarious.
Speaker 3: And you know what's so funny is I almost said
Speaker 3: some into you, like babe, don't feel pressured to come
Speaker 3: in the bath that because I actually wanted to be
Speaker 3: in the bath by myself. So that's how I didn't ask.
Speaker 3: And then when you came in, I almost said something
Speaker 3: like no, no, you're you're good, like you don't have
Speaker 3: to come in. But then I was like, well, he's
Speaker 3: he's trying because he probably feels like he has to
Speaker 3: so and then ended up being a great bath.
Speaker 1: Girl.
Speaker 3: But initially I was annoyed when you got in. That's
Speaker 3: so funny, it is, isn't it. That's interesting.
Speaker 2: And what's interesting is say I say I didn't come
Speaker 2: in right, and I would have I would have I
Speaker 2: would have thought the rest of the night. I would
Speaker 2: have been like, you know what, she wanted me in
Speaker 2: the bath and I didn't go in. So even if
Speaker 2: you wanted to be intimate later that night, I probably
Speaker 2: would have been a little bit more uncomfortable because knowing
Speaker 2: in the back of my head that I probably disappointed
Speaker 2: you that I didn't come in the bath, and now
Speaker 2: you're trying to be intimate now, and I just play
Speaker 2: those games in my head. It's just it's weird.
Speaker 1: But if she had said to you before you got it,
Speaker 1: if she had said, by the I'm gonna take a bath,
Speaker 1: but don't feel like you need to come out. I
Speaker 1: really just want to spend him alone time, would that
Speaker 1: have been fun. It would have been like, it.
Speaker 2: Would have been totally fine, but I would have had
Speaker 2: the same feeling I ultimately had, where it's like, well,
Speaker 2: I kind of want to get in the bath because
Speaker 2: she told because I was off the hook, right and
Speaker 2: there's no pressure at all. It would have been one
Speaker 2: hundred percent my idea because I want to come into
Speaker 2: the bath.
Speaker 3: I probably would have so funny.
Speaker 2: I probably would have wanted to, but I would I
Speaker 2: wouldn't have, but I would have been like, you know,
Speaker 2: I want to come in.
Speaker 3: But this is so funny. I love this.
Speaker 1: It's the beauty of this podcast. Yeah yeah, it's what
Speaker 1: were you thinking all this week in our married interactions?
Speaker 3: Yeah right, and this is what.
Speaker 2: And the one time you don't want me to be
Speaker 2: intimate or.
Speaker 3: Join you, I just wanted to relax.
Speaker 2: We didn't do to that.
Speaker 3: Oh that's funny. Well I can't wait to will you?
Speaker 3: Will you keep our podcast listeners up to date on that.
Speaker 2: I'm sure they're going to be dying to find out. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: I mean I will. I'll check in with Aron about
Speaker 2: it and get back to you.
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Speaker 3: so everyone has been asking dming commenting, Where's Jen, Where's Jen?
Speaker 3: What's going on with Jen? Jen?
Speaker 5: I'm here, I'm here, I'm out of my office.
Speaker 3: Out of the office. So Jen is the producer of
Speaker 3: the Ryan Seacrush Show. Well, well, whoops, Mark.
Speaker 5: Is the executive producer. I was on here with Ryan seacrast. Yes,
Speaker 5: I sort of oversee the National Show and American Top
Speaker 5: forty and then the branding that comes in for the shows,
Speaker 5: which can be really demanding at the end of the
Speaker 5: year and the beginning of the year.
Speaker 3: Yeah. So Jen is she's a busy lady, so that's
Speaker 3: why she's been absent for a little while. But we
Speaker 3: love her. And she's a wine downer, so she's you know, whenever.
Speaker 5: Yes, whenever.
Speaker 3: How is Rocco?
Speaker 5: He's great. Yeah, he's so much fun. He is really
Speaker 5: getting into sports right now. We went to Hawaii and
Speaker 5: the first day we were there, we were at the
Speaker 5: beach and I through the football for two and a
Speaker 5: half hours and at one point, I thought to myself,
Speaker 5: I'm not going to be able to move my arm tomorrow.
Speaker 5: And I woke up the next morning I couldn't move
Speaker 5: my right arm. So of course he wakes up and
Speaker 5: he says, let's go play football. And I was like,
Speaker 5: I can't move my arm. He goes, just use the
Speaker 5: other one. So I'm out there and I'm trying to
Speaker 5: throw with my left arm, which I can't even really
Speaker 5: throw football anyways, let's be honest, and he's like that's
Speaker 5: not good enough. And I was like, whoa, do you
Speaker 5: know what. I'm gonna go wake your uncle up. He
Speaker 5: can throw the football with you.
Speaker 3: So was the man there. No, no, he grays anymore.
Speaker 5: No, we're together.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 5: But he goes to the East coast to visit his parents.
Speaker 5: And this was a trip with my sister who doesn't
Speaker 5: have children and.
Speaker 3: Oh that's sister, like your sister sister. How you guys
Speaker 3: aren't like.
Speaker 5: Into her husband? And then Rocco and me and it
Speaker 5: was an incredible trip. We went to Maui. We have
Speaker 5: this like fancy because I call him the fancy cousin,
Speaker 5: and he has a house there, so he he was like,
Speaker 5: just I'll use it it's not being and we went.
Speaker 5: It was incredible and it was fabulous and I played
Speaker 5: a lot.
Speaker 2: Of football a lot holidays.
Speaker 5: That was over the holidays. Then we got back Christmas night,
Speaker 5: like at eleven o'clock at night, and I opened the
Speaker 5: gate and there was water everywhere, and I was like, wow,
Speaker 5: it must have rained here today. And then all of
Speaker 5: a sudden I looked at the garage and I was like, wait,
Speaker 5: the water was coming out of the garage. And then
Speaker 5: I went upstairs in the hole. All the walls were
Speaker 5: all bubbles.
Speaker 3: It was like Home Alone. It was yes, remember yes,
Speaker 3: Home Alone too New York. Yeah, The Old Man, No,
Speaker 3: which almost that wasn't it was the first one? Was
Speaker 3: it the first?
Speaker 5: I don't know, I've watched all three of those.
Speaker 3: The House, The House, Yeah, but.
Speaker 5: It Yeah, it was pretty much. That was it. So
Speaker 5: then that was a three week affair and I was
Speaker 5: in an airbnb.
Speaker 3: Jeez, even like going through it.
Speaker 5: Crazy goodness, crazy, But I just roll with it, you know.
Speaker 3: And you're happy with the guy. Everything's good, he's great. Love.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So between all that, I don't know how you haven't
Speaker 2: had time to come on the Show's.
Speaker 3: Cool, Yeah, busy at all.
Speaker 5: All the contractors. It was like, you know, schedule after schedule,
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah.
Speaker 2: Coming off with that, today we have special guests doctor Kristin,
Speaker 2: who's here to talk about lovely subject of fertility. Hey,
Speaker 2: doctor Kristen, A nice to be here.
Speaker 3: Thank you. Where's your office?
Speaker 6: Downtown?
Speaker 3: Downtown?
Speaker 6: Okay, we're in a like right off of the one
Speaker 6: ten or good same hospital.
Speaker 3: And then Gen, you've shared your your fertility issues on
Speaker 3: the show.
Speaker 5: Have they have I I'm not sure?
Speaker 3: Refresh us.
Speaker 5: Okay. So I've never been on birth control my ever
Speaker 5: cut never.
Speaker 3: Okay, never, not once okay.
Speaker 5: And I was married for twelve years before I even
Speaker 5: you know, got pregnant, which is a very long time
Speaker 5: to be you know, it was, and we weren't careful.
Speaker 5: It's a very long time. So when I was starting
Speaker 5: to get older, I thought, I, you know, well, we
Speaker 5: have to get serious about this. So I bought one
Speaker 5: of the digital ovulation calculators and I started going to
Speaker 5: acupuncture twice a week in the beginning, and I drank
Speaker 5: this weird tea three times a day that I really
Speaker 5: I have no idea what was in it. I probably
Speaker 5: should have asked, but it took about six to seven months,
Speaker 5: and then I finally got pregnant. And it's really funny
Speaker 5: because I knew immediately. It was like two weeks pregnant,
Speaker 5: and I knew. I was at a like a summer
Speaker 5: pool party and was drinking a ton of tequila. And
Speaker 5: the next morning I just got d and ike up
Speaker 5: the next morning and I was like, wow, I feel awful,
Speaker 5: like not normal awful. It was like, there's I must
Speaker 5: be pregnant. So I got like, I got ready for work.
Speaker 5: I was launching the Oprah Winfree Network, and I stopped
Speaker 5: at the right aid and got a bunch of pregnancy
Speaker 5: tests and went to work, went into the bathroom and
Speaker 5: started taking pregnancy tests. So I found out I was
Speaker 5: pregnant in the open Windfree Network bathroom. And it was
Speaker 5: like two weeks pregnant.
Speaker 3: How did you tell you're so hungover? Like nothing, I
Speaker 3: did drink now that day to get the hangover over.
Speaker 5: No, because I was pregnant.
Speaker 3: It was like that first day. I know, every time
Speaker 3: I always did, I'm like, I'm so.
Speaker 2: There has to be more to this than just being
Speaker 2: on over. This is not normal.
Speaker 5: It was so crazy. So I never officially found out
Speaker 5: if I had fertility issues, but I just suspected, yeah,
Speaker 5: because it was I had to make it my job.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean twelve years without using any protection, not
Speaker 6: really paying attention. Right, at some point along the way,
Speaker 6: you would have thought that you would have got pregnant
Speaker 6: at least once.
Speaker 5: At least once, right for sure?
Speaker 3: Are there a lot of women though, that have chemical
Speaker 3: pregnancy chemical losses so that they actually get pregnant, but
Speaker 3: they just think it's their period.
Speaker 6: Absolutely. I think that in the first couple of days after,
Speaker 6: like when you're periods supposed to come, you can't even
Speaker 6: pianistick because it'll still be negative. Oftentimes we can see
Speaker 6: it in our office if someone comes in for a
Speaker 6: blood test, but if you're two three days late, some
Speaker 6: of those women could be having biochemicals and they just
Speaker 6: there's not really any way to tell when you're at.
Speaker 2: Home, Right, do you recommend or would you recommend? Because
Speaker 2: I know when Jane and I started to try to
Speaker 2: get pregnant, and we just kind of started trying just
Speaker 2: on our own, and then finally we weren't having success,
Speaker 2: so then we went in to see here Obi and
Speaker 2: ultimately had to get some things done to maximize the
Speaker 2: possibility of having a child.
Speaker 3: Was it the historioscopy?
Speaker 2: Yeah, historioscopy. I mean, do you think that's something that's
Speaker 2: beneficial where if a young woman wants to start looking
Speaker 2: at that, where she just starts off by going to
Speaker 2: see her doctor and be like, hey, I'm thinking about
Speaker 2: having kids, let's try to check everything right now so
Speaker 2: they're not quote unquote wasting time or because.
Speaker 3: We had that HSG test where we would have been
Speaker 3: trying for years and I would have gotten pregnant because
Speaker 3: I would have never known that my tubes were blocked.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, I think that's a great point. And I
Speaker 6: actually do think it's a wonderful idea for women to
Speaker 6: think about that one, because there are so many things
Speaker 6: that probably need to be checked out before you're even
Speaker 6: thinking about fertility. Things are you immune to chicken pox?
Speaker 6: And you have medical issues that maybe need to be
Speaker 6: managed before you get pregnant. So it's always a good
Speaker 6: idea to talk to an obi Juan. And then a
Speaker 6: lot of people don't really understand the timing of when
Speaker 6: is the right time have sex in order to get pregnant,
Speaker 6: and so if you're not educated on that and you
Speaker 6: don't want to read on it online or something like that.
Speaker 6: You can talk to your obijui in about that. In
Speaker 6: terms of actually just jumping in and doing fertility diagnostic
Speaker 6: testing before you've even tried, I think it's reasonable, certainly,
Speaker 6: depending on what your ages. Most couples are going to
Speaker 6: get pregnant in those first three months. We think about
Speaker 6: half of them are going to get pregnant, and then
Speaker 6: in six months it's probably about seventy percent. So if
Speaker 6: you're at three months and it hasn't been working and
Speaker 6: you're nervous about it, and it's just going to give
Speaker 6: you some peace of mind that you can just kind
Speaker 6: of keep on trying on your own without intervening necessarily.
Speaker 6: I think it's fine to go see your doctor and say, hey,
Speaker 6: you know, I don't you know, if my insurance doesn't
Speaker 6: pay for it, I'm happy to pay for it out
Speaker 6: of pocket. But it just kind of it would make
Speaker 6: me feel a lot better and make me a little
Speaker 6: bit more common this process, because it can be so stressful.
Speaker 3: Especially when you're trying have a baby. That's you know,
Speaker 3: We've had friends that just try for years and it's
Speaker 3: like when you actually try. Who were just talking to
Speaker 3: last night, We're talking to my friend Cherry, and it's like,
Speaker 3: when you actually try to have a baby, it's so hard.
Speaker 6: Yeah, And I think that most I think many women
Speaker 6: really aren't seeking treatment when they need to. Right, They've
Speaker 6: been trying for six months, a year, two years, and
Speaker 6: they haven't seen anyone yet. And you're absolutely right. For
Speaker 6: those women, there could have been something that we could
Speaker 6: have identified in the beginning that could have just saved
Speaker 6: them all that time and all that enguish and grief.
Speaker 2: Does any of that have to do with maybe a
Speaker 2: young woman is fearful of maybe what they might find
Speaker 2: out or is.
Speaker 3: It just more of absolutely really right?
Speaker 2: Or I didn't know if it was more of just like,
Speaker 2: h no, I'm just you know, I'll get pregnant, just
Speaker 2: over confidence.
Speaker 5: I guess I just thought I would get pregnant at
Speaker 5: some point, although as I got older, I knew that
Speaker 5: I had to be proactive and I was going to
Speaker 5: go to the doctor at some point if I didn't,
Speaker 5: you know, if I didn't get pregnant with the holistic
Speaker 5: approach that I took. And I will tell you, you know,
Speaker 5: I think I've talked about my ex mother in law
Speaker 5: a little, but have it I Yeah, she's fun It
Speaker 5: was really funny because as soon as I was announcing
Speaker 5: that I was pregnant, she took full credit for it,
Speaker 5: which I thought was fantastic because she said, oh my god,
Speaker 5: it's been twelve years and you have never gotten pregnant.
Speaker 5: I spent all day five months ago praying, which I
Speaker 5: love that she was praying and that energy is great.
Speaker 5: I want to support that. But it was she took
Speaker 5: full credit. And it could be I don't know, maybe
Speaker 5: it wasn't the acupuncture and tea, you know, whatever, but
Speaker 5: I just you know, she took full credit for the
Speaker 5: baby before she did. It's fantastic.
Speaker 6: I think young women are so much more aware of
Speaker 6: fertility issues now, and a lot of that is just
Speaker 6: a lot of the press with egg freezing and that
Speaker 6: they know that that's an option, and because egg freezing
Speaker 6: is out there and yeah, a lot of young women
Speaker 6: are doing it. I think more young women are aware
Speaker 6: of the fact that ages sometimes and oftentimes an issue
Speaker 6: as you get older, and so because of that are
Speaker 6: more proactive. So, for example, at my office, we have
Speaker 6: a diagnostic testing program, so you can come in and
Speaker 6: have some levels checked and have an ultrasound I'm not
Speaker 6: going to be able to predict if you're going to
Speaker 6: be able to get pregnant next month if you try,
Speaker 6: But I certainly can sometimes identify issues that may be
Speaker 6: problematic later so that you can kind of get a
Speaker 6: jump on it and maybe do egg freezing if that's
Speaker 6: something that you're considering, or just kind of plan up
Speaker 6: more thoughtfully how you're going to manage when you're going
Speaker 6: to get pregnant, depending on how many kids you want,
Speaker 6: how old you.
Speaker 5: Are, What age do you recommend that women start freezing
Speaker 5: their eggs?
Speaker 6: Well, for best start to do it. Yeah, early thirties.
Speaker 6: It makes the most sense because you want to do
Speaker 6: it under the age of thirty five, but you don't
Speaker 6: want to necessarily do it too young. Where a bunch
Speaker 6: of twenty one year olds are going around freezing their eggs,
Speaker 6: they're never going to use them.
Speaker 5: What happens to those eggs? Are they donated? Can people
Speaker 5: we adopt.
Speaker 3: That We so we had an embryo that we were
Speaker 3: freezing for a while, we end up using it, got pregnant,
Speaker 3: but lost it. But on that sheet, Jennet says, like
Speaker 3: if so if he dies, or if we break up,
Speaker 3: or if I die or whatever what we can do
Speaker 3: with the embryo. So either we give it away for
Speaker 3: adoption adoption essentially, or it goes to testing, or they
Speaker 3: unthought and it goes away. It's it's very weird. Wow, yeah,
Speaker 3: because because you're to us when we were saying that,
Speaker 3: I'm like this, but this is a child, right, But
Speaker 3: they're like, no, it's a petri dish of a child.
Speaker 3: I'm like, no, but it's a it could be a child.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: You humanize it a little bit to be like, all right,
Speaker 2: well do we want you know, spawn of us around
Speaker 2: if we're not around? It was weird.
Speaker 5: That's a really difficult decision to make.
Speaker 3: It's really hard.
Speaker 6: I think there are I mean, there are some places
Speaker 6: where you can donate embryos to other couples. It's not
Speaker 6: incredibly common, but it definitely happens. I think we haven't
Speaker 6: faced the issue of what's going to happen if we
Speaker 6: have a bunch of leftover eggs at some point. I
Speaker 6: do think that just like with embryos, there will be
Speaker 6: something set up someday that those eggs could be potentially
Speaker 6: donated to someone else. But we haven't really crossed that
Speaker 6: threshold because We're just starting to get to the point
Speaker 6: where women who froze their eggs eight years ago are
Speaker 6: finally coming back. And that's what I'm seeing in my practice,
Speaker 6: which is really exciting.
Speaker 2: Do you think it's like, obviously, as we're seeing in
Speaker 2: society the trend of couples getting married later having children
Speaker 2: later in life. Do you think that's more of just
Speaker 2: kind of monogamy going downhill or is it? Or is
Speaker 2: it or honestly or in divorce rates increasing or is
Speaker 2: it also women being more successful in more careers and
Speaker 2: their more careers driven nowadays and they were, you know,
Speaker 2: decades ago.
Speaker 3: What are you saying, Mike, career driven?
Speaker 2: Because society is giving women more opportunities to be more
Speaker 2: careers driven. So I was just curious if you thought
Speaker 2: it was more one than.
Speaker 6: The other, or I mean, from the patients that are
Speaker 6: coming into my office, I think it's probably a little
Speaker 6: bit of both. Probably more that they are very focused
Speaker 6: on their careers and so they're not as focused necessarily
Speaker 6: on getting married and having babies right away. I think
Speaker 6: there is definitely a different mentality with some of the
Speaker 6: millennials about their outlooks on marriage, and that's evolving and
Speaker 6: changing to the age at where women are having their
Speaker 6: first baby is getting trending up in the United States
Speaker 6: a little bit.
Speaker 3: So I'm thirty five, we have two kids, but if
Speaker 3: we were to have another one and then we've had
Speaker 3: a handful of miscarriages, so our chances of having a
Speaker 3: miscarriage again would be significantly high, right because we've had
Speaker 3: so many or and then also with my age in
Speaker 3: to with.
Speaker 6: That, so all those things can contribute to that. So
Speaker 6: your age is probably actually the most important predictor in
Speaker 6: terms of having a miscarriage, yes, because as women get older,
Speaker 6: they're embryos right, are more likely to be chromosomely abnormal.
Speaker 6: Just means that the number of chromosomes is off, there's
Speaker 6: either too many or too little, and so that happens
Speaker 6: more commonly as you get older, and those chromosomal abnormalodies
Speaker 6: account for seventy percent of miscarriages. So age is a
Speaker 6: huge predictor in terms of miscarriages. If you've had a
Speaker 6: couple of miscarriages before, then you are a little bit
Speaker 6: more likely to have another miscarriage. But even if you've
Speaker 6: had two miscarriages in a row, the chance that when
Speaker 6: you get pregnant the next time that you're going to
Speaker 6: have a baby is seventy percent. It's really high, and
Speaker 6: especially if in your situation where you've had losses and
Speaker 6: then you've had pregnancies after, then it's even a little
Speaker 6: bit higher.
Speaker 3: Okay. I've had a lot of people talk about endometriosis.
Speaker 3: They've always asked questions because because we have done two
Speaker 3: rounds of IVF. So this was from Keisha. She said,
Speaker 3: I haven't started IVF yet, but I have been through
Speaker 3: many cycles of medicines and three failed cycles of IUI,
Speaker 3: do you have any tips on getting pregnant with endometriosis
Speaker 3: before trying IVF?
Speaker 6: Ermetriosis is tough?
Speaker 3: What is that exactly? Because everyone I email them.
Speaker 5: Like, yeah, what it is?
Speaker 3: Okay?
Speaker 6: So inside the theaters there's the cavity, right, and the
Speaker 6: cavity is where the baby grows, and it's this potential
Speaker 6: space and it has a lining, and so each month
Speaker 6: when you're getting your period, you're shedding that lining. Okay,
Speaker 6: that makes sense, Yeah, okay, yeah, so we're following that.
Speaker 6: So what happens for all women is that sometimes some
Speaker 6: of those cells go backwards through the fallopian tubes and
Speaker 6: then they land and they abdomell the cavity. Now what
Speaker 6: happens if you don't have endometriosis is those cells just
Speaker 6: recognize they're in the wrong place and they go away.
Speaker 6: But if you have a new metriosis, then for whatever reason,
Speaker 6: they stick and they cause problems depending on where they
Speaker 6: So if they land on the nerve fibers right behind
Speaker 6: the uterus, then they cause women to have really bad pain,
Speaker 6: and so that's one of the hallmark symptoms of endometriosis.
Speaker 6: If they land on the Filippian tubes, right, they can
Speaker 6: cause scarring and block the Filippian tubes. They land on
Speaker 6: the ovaries, they can actually get into the ovaries and
Speaker 6: decrease the number of eggs right, and then all of
Speaker 6: the cells that are there create this environment that's actually
Speaker 6: not really great for the eggs, and so it can
Speaker 6: decrease the quality of the eggs. So it can cause
Speaker 6: many different problems. In terms of treatment for endometriosis, the
Speaker 6: most common treatment is medications, but they're hormonal medications and
Speaker 6: they're not really compatible with trying to get pregnant at
Speaker 6: the same time. So, for example, the first line treatment
Speaker 6: is birth control pills. You can't take birth control pills,
Speaker 6: you're trying to get pregnant, it doesn't work. So you
Speaker 6: can do surgery, right, and we know from some studies
Speaker 6: that doing surgery can improve your odds of getting pregnant.
Speaker 6: But when you're doing surgeries, we have to operate on
Speaker 6: twelve women and treat they're endometriosis, where we basically go
Speaker 6: in with surgery and burn all the little lesions right
Speaker 6: that are there. You have to treat twelve women in
Speaker 6: order to get one pregnancy. And so with the fertility
Speaker 6: treatments that we have with intuterine inseminations and whether IVF,
Speaker 6: we can replicate those successes without having to do surgery.
Speaker 6: So most of the time now, unless there's another indication
Speaker 6: to do surgery, if it's just that you're having a
Speaker 6: hard time getting pregnant, most likely you're just going to
Speaker 6: go to the fertility treatments and so there isn't anything
Speaker 6: extra that we can do.
Speaker 3: How many women have endometriosis, like, is it one out
Speaker 3: of what I.
Speaker 6: Think it may be? Has eyes one out of ten? Wow,
Speaker 6: it's really common. And so we think that for many
Speaker 6: women who have unexplained infertility, which is a large proportion
Speaker 6: that a lot of those women probably have endometriosis, it's
Speaker 6: just undiagnosed.
Speaker 3: Interesting, maybe I have.
Speaker 2: That that down.
Speaker 7: Yea, my wife has endometrios. Oh yeah, and it's it's
Speaker 7: been quite just getting diagnosed with it was a huge struggle.
Speaker 7: She had problems with pain for a really long time
Speaker 7: in all the doctors or like all have male doctors,
Speaker 7: Like I don't know what the problem is.
Speaker 8: And she finally got diagnosed and she had the surgery.
Speaker 3: But so what does the surgery do. Did they take
Speaker 3: away the it's beads?
Speaker 6: I guess you can either little lesions they look like
Speaker 6: little red or brown spots and you burn them, or
Speaker 6: you can excize them and to grab them out.
Speaker 8: Yeah what what was it called? The something scopic?
Speaker 7: Yeah, that's it anyway, But she has to have that
Speaker 7: surgery again, like she had it three years four years ago.
Speaker 3: Why does she have to have it again because they
Speaker 3: come back?
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, it's a progressive disease. I mean, every time
Speaker 6: you have your period, there's just more cells that are
Speaker 6: floating back into the abdominal cavity. And so that's why
Speaker 6: being on birth control, for example, can slow that process down.
Speaker 6: So it can slow the progression of the disease, but
Speaker 6: it can't eradicate it unfortunately.
Speaker 3: So what are you guys gonna do then?
Speaker 2: For?
Speaker 3: For trying for baby? Is that something we've thought about
Speaker 3: IVF for?
Speaker 8: I mean, we're we we haven't we haven't tried yet,
Speaker 8: but we're preparing our We're just like when it happens
Speaker 8: when we're trying, we're going to have to do that,
Speaker 8: probably just because.
Speaker 3: Of are the odds better for endometriosis couples to do
Speaker 3: IVF versus trying to get pregnant on their own?
Speaker 6: Yeah, well, a lot of women with endometriosis will actually
Speaker 6: be able to get pregnant. So just because you have
Speaker 6: enumeutrisis doesn't mean that you're going to have infertility. And
Speaker 6: the interesting thing about endometriosis is that how much disease
Speaker 6: is in there is not necessarily predictive of how hard
Speaker 6: or easy it's going to be to get pregnant.
Speaker 3: Okay, so this is thank you by the way for
Speaker 3: being here. I want to get to some more emails.
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Speaker 2: So this emails from Mollie and so why am I
Speaker 2: not ovulating? I am twenty six and I went off
Speaker 2: birth control two years ago and my cycle was non
Speaker 2: existent until about March. She put me on Privera and
Speaker 2: discovered I was not ovulating. She then put me on
Speaker 2: Privera and Klomid for three cycles, no success. She told
Speaker 2: me there's nothing more she can do for me and
Speaker 2: that I need to go to a fertility specialist. Excuse me,
Speaker 2: I was wondering what your thoughts were and what the
Speaker 2: next steps are to take.
Speaker 6: So for her, she's just not ovulating at all. Correct
Speaker 6: doesn't say why. I mean, you need to try and
Speaker 6: figure out why. So I'm sure her doctor did that.
Speaker 6: There are some hormonal imbalances that can cause problems with ovulation.
Speaker 6: The most common reason why women don't ovulate is something
Speaker 6: called polycystic ovarian syndrome.
Speaker 3: Oh that's another sing Yeah, that's that was a few
Speaker 3: other questions in here too, is the piece? Yeah what
Speaker 3: is that? Also?
Speaker 6: Really common? About one in ten women have it, and
Speaker 6: it's becoming more and more more and more of a
Speaker 6: problem as the average and ways of American women goes
Speaker 6: up because it can be weight related.
Speaker 5: Oh, is that what causes it?
Speaker 6: Not all the time. So PCUS is kind of the
Speaker 6: syndrome and where like the end result is that you
Speaker 6: don't have regular periods, And there's also hormonal imbalances where
Speaker 6: you just kind of have like higher balance of testosterone
Speaker 6: versus estrogens. Just the easiest way to think about it.
Speaker 6: Some women are kind of born genetically with it, and
Speaker 6: so they can be super thin, doesn't matter what their
Speaker 6: weight is, they will always have PCOS. There are other
Speaker 6: women that are maybe predisposed to having it, and it's
Speaker 6: only when they gain weight that they have all of
Speaker 6: these symptoms. And though for those women, and that's kind
Speaker 6: of where the higher proportion of PCOS is right now
Speaker 6: in this country. If they lose weight, all right, and
Speaker 6: it can be very challenging to lose weight, but if
Speaker 6: they lose weight, then their periods can go back and
Speaker 6: become regular again. Yeah, and so for all of those women,
Speaker 6: and in the end, whether you want to make sure
Speaker 6: you tackle something if they have a thyroid problem or
Speaker 6: whatever that's throwing their periods out of whack, but the
Speaker 6: end results is that you really have to give them
Speaker 6: medication to help them ovulate, and Clonid is one of
Speaker 6: them for women who have PCOS. It's actually not the
Speaker 6: first line therapy anymore. There's another medication called let resol
Speaker 6: that has now kind of supplanted. Clomid is the first
Speaker 6: line therapy for pcos. Are those hormone is that hormone
Speaker 6: there are, so both clomid and let resol work in
Speaker 6: a way where they are kind of tricking the brain
Speaker 6: to make this hormone that's called f SH focal stimulating hormone,
Speaker 6: and that's the thing the brain sends down to the
Speaker 6: ovary to make an egg grow. And so with PCOS,
Speaker 6: it's just you know, they have the capability of doing that.
Speaker 6: The signals are all just kind of messed up, like
Speaker 6: the bringing and I always think it tell patients like
Speaker 6: the brain and the ovaries are just not talking to
Speaker 6: each other and they're not in sync, and so we
Speaker 6: just kind of need to sync them up so that
Speaker 6: everything can work correctly.
Speaker 3: This is just so hard because as I'm hearing all
Speaker 3: this stuff, everything that us women have to go through
Speaker 3: with our bodies, I know you guys go through a
Speaker 3: lot too, babe. And I'm not saying that sarcastically at all.
Speaker 3: I know you guys have you know, your stuff, But
Speaker 3: when it comes to us having you know, trying to
Speaker 3: get pregnant and not being able to be pregnant, especially
Speaker 3: when we want to be mom, like, that's so it's hard.
Speaker 3: All these issues that could cause us not to be
Speaker 3: a mom. It's just makes me really sad, and that's
Speaker 3: what leads me kind of into this one from Amanda Shews.
Speaker 3: I have a wonderful husband who loves our little girl
Speaker 3: in a way that has exceeded every expectation I've had
Speaker 3: of him as a dad, So we decide to try
Speaker 3: for another baby. However, the first time around the test
Speaker 3: was negative, then the second, and then the third. We
Speaker 3: just got our six negative tests in a row. My
Speaker 3: husband is so great and supportive, but even this last time,
Speaker 3: you can tell it's starting to weigh on him. I'm
Speaker 3: trying so hard to stay positive. I was hoping you
Speaker 3: could talk about how to handle the situation and how
Speaker 3: to deal with loss in your day to day life.
Speaker 6: I think it's really hard for guys when they are
Speaker 6: going through this process. I think that many times they
Speaker 6: feel marginalized on the outside of it because I mean
Speaker 6: not that they want to have all the tests that
Speaker 6: we have to go through as women if we're having
Speaker 6: fertility issues, but they're not going through all those tests,
Speaker 6: and they're just kind of have to, you know, they
Speaker 6: have to do their semen analysis and that's it. And
Speaker 6: then the female has she has to get blood drawn
Speaker 6: and X rays and ultracentjections, sections and all of that stuff,
Speaker 6: and so they're kind of on the side a little bit.
Speaker 6: I think that that can be really hard. And this
Speaker 6: isn't really coming from where my medical training is, but
Speaker 6: it's more just kind of what I observe is that
Speaker 6: guys like to fix things and they can't fix it
Speaker 6: for you, and that's a problem, and so I think
Speaker 6: that it can be really helpful sometimes to kind of
Speaker 6: bring them into the process and whatever way you think
Speaker 6: it will help them to kind of cope with it
Speaker 6: and help you. So they want to help you, So
Speaker 6: if you can find a little thing that they can
Speaker 6: do that can help you, and whether that's giving you
Speaker 6: a massage every night, or doing your injections or mixing them,
Speaker 6: or holding your hand when you're doing your injections if
Speaker 6: you're going through IVF, just involving them in some way
Speaker 6: I think is really helpful. I think that guys deal
Speaker 6: with stress and grief in very different ways than women,
Speaker 6: and I think we have to respect that. And they
Speaker 6: may not want to emote and articulate how sad they
Speaker 6: are to you or even to their friends, but maybe
Speaker 6: they just need to spend time with their friends and
Speaker 6: so allowing them to have that space and get the
Speaker 6: support whatever it is that they need.
Speaker 2: That's that's fantastic advice. And just speaking from a guid perspective,
Speaker 2: if like Janner came to has done this before. We
Speaker 2: had our son Jas and we suffered from miscarriage, and
Speaker 2: you know, she asked me like how I was feeling,
Speaker 2: And not only does that allow me to not feel alone,
Speaker 2: like I just have to be strong and not let
Speaker 2: anything affect me, but in turn it helped her because
Speaker 2: then she doesn't feel like she's the only one with
Speaker 2: those feelings and those emotions. And so that just that
Speaker 2: simple question hearing from Jana, I mean, did wonders for
Speaker 2: us in our relationship moving forward? So we feel like
Speaker 2: eighteen because it is unfortunately you know, you all have
Speaker 2: to go through the more physical aspect of it. But
Speaker 2: you know when you have a loss, we have a
Speaker 2: loss too, and that kind of gets lost in translation
Speaker 2: a lot of time.
Speaker 3: So I think it's because we feel like it's our body,
Speaker 3: it's our fault, and that's how I always felt. It
Speaker 3: was my fault and I let him down again and
Speaker 3: I'm not a good enough wife or a good enough
Speaker 3: mother and not my body isn't good enough to birth
Speaker 3: a baby and to hold the baby, because I'm like,
Speaker 3: why can't I hold a child? Why do I keep losing?
Speaker 3: So I think we just put all that stress on ourselves.
Speaker 6: Which it's always I think it's always hard for the
Speaker 6: person who maybe has the bigger issue, and it's hard
Speaker 6: for everybody, but it's just a different type of hard.
Speaker 3: What amount of stress do you really think plays into
Speaker 3: not conceiving? Because I've had so many doctors and you know,
Speaker 3: the fertility doctors, to my g onecologists saying and to
Speaker 3: family and friends, and I'd say this to people, say like,
Speaker 3: don't stress, it's gonna happen. But it's hard not to stress.
Speaker 3: So is stress I mean, is it can that really
Speaker 3: cause a miscarriage?
Speaker 6: No, so stress can't. It can't cause a miscarriage, but
Speaker 6: it plays a role.
Speaker 3: It's still there.
Speaker 5: It's a little role.
Speaker 6: It's not maybe as big as age, but it's there.
Speaker 6: And so I think that's important to the extent that
Speaker 6: you can do anything to manage your stress during an
Speaker 6: IVF cycle. I have patients that feel like, sometimes, oh,
Speaker 6: I have to take herbs and acupuncture whatever, and I said, okay, well,
Speaker 6: if that makes you feel good, we think it could
Speaker 6: potentially be helpful. But if it's stressing you out to
Speaker 6: get to all those acupuncture appointments, then maybe it's not
Speaker 6: worth it. But you know, people are stressed all the
Speaker 6: time and they get pregnant. I mean, every patient that
Speaker 6: walks in my office who's not able to have a
Speaker 6: baby wants to Maybe they're stressed.
Speaker 3: Okay, So we actually have a wind down listener online
Speaker 3: with us right now. Caitlin. Hey, hey, Caitlyn, So you
Speaker 3: got the wind Down crew and a specialist because we're
Speaker 3: we're not the specialist, but doctor Kristen wants to help you.
Speaker 3: So could you tell her what's going on and then
Speaker 3: hopefully we can give you some good insight.
Speaker 4: Sure.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: My husband and I we had a child seven years
Speaker 4: ago together and we were very young and we weren't married,
Speaker 4: and so we wanted to wait until we were married
Speaker 4: to have our second. So we waited about four and
Speaker 4: a half years to start trying again after we had
Speaker 4: actually gotten married, and we went on our honeymoon and
Speaker 4: we came back and so we started to try and
Speaker 4: it has been about two years and we have not
Speaker 4: had any luck, and it's gotten to the point where,
Speaker 4: you know, it's a little bit frustrating, and we've tried
Speaker 4: the natural way, and recently I was prescribed a drug
Speaker 4: called clomid that's supposed to help you with your ovulation
Speaker 4: to conceive, and currently I am doing that now. But
Speaker 4: I've just had a few questions for doctor Kristen specifically,
Speaker 4: at what point during me trying to conceive process should
Speaker 4: IVF become an option.
Speaker 6: So if you isn't working on your own, typically the
Speaker 6: most common form of kind of like a lesser treatment
Speaker 6: than IVF is doing clomid, which is what you're on,
Speaker 6: and the goal of clomid is to make you ovulate
Speaker 6: two or three eggs instead of just one. The clomid
Speaker 6: really should be coupled with an insemination, which is where
Speaker 6: we get the sperm sample from the guy get the
Speaker 6: best sperm, we place it at the top of the uterus,
Speaker 6: so it's much closer to where the egg is going
Speaker 6: to be. If clomid iuis haven't worked in three cycles,
Speaker 6: the chance that they're going to be effective for you
Speaker 6: is actually really low, and so at that point you're
Speaker 6: better off just saving your money. For IVF and just
Speaker 6: continuing to try to get pregnant on your own. In
Speaker 6: terms of thinking about IVF and understanding how useful it
Speaker 6: might be for you, there are kind of two main
Speaker 6: things that really contribute to the success of IVF, and
Speaker 6: that's the quality of the eggs that you're going to have,
Speaker 6: which is related to your age. And then also the
Speaker 6: number of eggs and the number of eggs that you're
Speaker 6: going to get in an IVF cycle that can be
Speaker 6: predicted by some simple tests that your doctor can do.
Speaker 6: So they can do an ultrasound and look at something
Speaker 6: called the anthrofolical count, and that's counting the number of
Speaker 6: eggs they think that are available in any given month.
Speaker 6: And then also understanding some of your hormone tests. So
Speaker 6: there are these two tests called AMH and FSH and
Speaker 6: those are predictors of how well your ovaries are functioning.
Speaker 6: And so if we give you medications, what proportion of
Speaker 6: those eggs are going to grow. So if you're starting
Speaker 6: out with ten eggs, or you're going to get nine
Speaker 6: to ten eggs and an IVF cycle, or you're going
Speaker 6: to get closer to only five, and so understanding the
Speaker 6: number of eggs that you individually might make in a cycle,
Speaker 6: and how old you are, and so therefore the chance
Speaker 6: that that egg is going to become an embryo and
Speaker 6: become a baby, that is really important in understanding how
Speaker 6: useful IVF will be for you.
Speaker 4: Okay, Okay, So there's not really a set timeframe as
Speaker 4: to where a couple should really consider it.
Speaker 6: Well, if you've done three cycles of the clomid with
Speaker 6: the iuys, then the chance that that clomid IUI is
Speaker 6: going to be effective is actually the same as if
Speaker 6: you're just having sex at home around ovulation and so
Speaker 6: really maxing out at three cycles, and this is for
Speaker 6: women who are already ovulating and we're just trying to
Speaker 6: make them ovulate more eggs. So maxing out at three
Speaker 6: cycles is really the point where you should move to IVF.
Speaker 3: And she was also saying to Caitlin timing wise to
Speaker 3: try to get the embryos and eggs before you're thirty five, right,
Speaker 3: doctor Kristen.
Speaker 6: Yeah, So if you're certainly if your egg freezing or
Speaker 6: embryo freezing, I have more couples that they themselves are
Speaker 6: not ready to actually have children, but they want to
Speaker 6: be proactive and make sure that it can happen in
Speaker 6: the future, and so couples can come in and freeze embryos,
Speaker 6: or if you are young and you haven't met a
Speaker 6: right partner and you're a woman and you want to
Speaker 6: preserve your ability to get pregnant, coming in and freezing eggs,
Speaker 6: doing that before the age of thirty five is ideal.
Speaker 6: But I have lots of women that are thirty eight,
Speaker 6: thirty nine and they haven't met the right guy and
Speaker 6: they just didn't think about freezing eggs before when they
Speaker 6: were younger, and so they're still coming in. It still
Speaker 6: can be useful. They may not have the same chance
Speaker 6: of success as someone who's doing it thirty two, but
Speaker 6: it's still useful, right, Yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 4: Well, it helpful information.
Speaker 3: We're praying for you, guys, and we're all here for
Speaker 3: you if you know through it, because I've been through
Speaker 3: it and it's not fun. But at the same time,
Speaker 3: there's always how do I say it, like it's such
Speaker 3: a hard thing to say, There's always a possibility, yeah,
Speaker 3: because it's just in that moment. I remember watching our
Speaker 3: IVF when it failed, the videos that I took, and
Speaker 3: just like how destroyed I was. But then you know,
Speaker 3: eight months later, I'm holding our son, so sure.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I mean, it's it's tough to remain hopeful, I think
Speaker 4: with each passing month when you know you're you're hoping
Speaker 4: that it worked or that it took and of course
Speaker 4: you start your period and then it's here we go again,
Speaker 4: we start all over.
Speaker 3: So and a month seems like forever it does.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and so it feels like it's been a really
Speaker 4: long waiting game for the last twenty four months. And
Speaker 4: it's rough too when you know you're on social media
Speaker 4: and everyone you know or follow happened to be pregnant
Speaker 4: or is getting pregnant, and it seems so easy, and
Speaker 4: it's frustrating when you know you're doing everything that they
Speaker 4: say you should be doing, it's just not it's not working.
Speaker 6: And know that you're not alone, right, I mean, there's
Speaker 6: thousands of women and couples that are out there just
Speaker 6: like you that are going through similar circumstances. They're just
Speaker 6: not posting it on Instagram necessarily, and so you're not alone.
Speaker 3: And hang in there, And will.
Speaker 4: You please keep us posted to Yes, absolutely, and will
Speaker 4: thank you guys for the information. I really appreciate it.
Speaker 3: Of course, thanks Caitlin for listening.
Speaker 4: Okay, have a good one. Bye bye, guys.
Speaker 5: How many IVF cycles can you both through?
Speaker 6: There isn't a number, but we know that, you know,
Speaker 6: especially when you're older. Let's say you're forty two and
Speaker 6: you're going through IVF, it's not going to necessarily work
Speaker 6: the first time. And in fact, there are actually pretty
Speaker 6: good studies that show you can do it five times
Speaker 6: and your chances of getting pregnant are the same. It's
Speaker 6: just that it's a lower likelihood that it's going to help.
Speaker 6: I mean, IVF doesn't make your eggs better. We just
Speaker 6: improve your odds of getting pregnant by making you make
Speaker 6: more in the hopes that there's a normal one in
Speaker 6: there and then optimizing the chance that egg is going
Speaker 6: to get fertilized by a sperm. And so we're improving
Speaker 6: your odds of getting pregnant. But with one IVF cycles
Speaker 6: sometimes it's just not enough and you have to do
Speaker 6: it a couple of times.
Speaker 3: Well, doctor Kristen, where can our listeners find you, especially
Speaker 3: if they're in the LA area.
Speaker 6: Well, I work at usc SOO. Usc fertility dot Org
Speaker 6: is our website. I'm also on social media. So I
Speaker 6: have my own website at doctor Kristen Benison dot org.
Speaker 6: And I'm on Instagram and what's your Instagram Mandel, doctor
Speaker 6: Kristin Bendison.
Speaker 3: Okay, perfect, thank you so much. Okay, So, now that
Speaker 3: I don't have a baby anymore, my periods have officially
Speaker 3: come back, and so I'm a big advocate for Lola.
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Speaker 1: I have some emails here, but Jena's mid apple right now.
Speaker 3: Apples kind of give me trauma, by the way, because
Speaker 3: my dad, you can, always chew apples really aggressively and
Speaker 3: heats smack you know, like smackers anyways, so I get traumatized.
Speaker 1: My dad eats apple whole. There is no core. When
Speaker 1: my dad finishes an apple.
Speaker 5: Oh, he eats the steeds.
Speaker 1: He will remove the stem before you it's it, but
Speaker 1: otherwise it's all going down.
Speaker 3: Oh that's disgusting.
Speaker 1: I love that it's a convenience thing because if my
Speaker 1: dad's on the couch eating the applay, he doesn't want
Speaker 1: to have to get up and go to the trash
Speaker 1: that throws coor away, so it just eats the whole
Speaker 1: thing or drive.
Speaker 2: That's such like an old man.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, I'm just curious, now that we're on the
Speaker 3: apple topic, is are you a throw the apple out
Speaker 3: the window when you're driving, or keep it in your car.
Speaker 1: I keep it in my car. I used to be
Speaker 1: a thrower, but I feel weird about it.
Speaker 3: I'm in my car. Why not you're gonna you're feeding
Speaker 3: the animals. And then people say, well, the animals are
Speaker 3: gonna go in the middle of the road and they
Speaker 3: get hit by a car. But I throw it all
Speaker 3: the way to the side of the road.
Speaker 2: What's funny about you? And saying that though for the
Speaker 2: longest time, she'd have the worst luck throwing an apple
Speaker 2: core out the window. It could be a green passion,
Speaker 2: nothing in sight, baby, But when she throws it out, bim,
Speaker 2: it hits that one sign that's there for ten miles
Speaker 2: and it bounces back onto the road like there's a
Speaker 2: period of time where it just happened. Every time.
Speaker 1: It was amazing.
Speaker 4: Illegal.
Speaker 3: It's it's illegal to throw composed.
Speaker 2: It decomposes.
Speaker 7: The only thing you can throw out of a car
Speaker 7: is water and chicken feathers. That's the only two legal substances.
Speaker 1: I have heard that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, chicken feathers outside of a window.
Speaker 8: Farmers transporting chickens.
Speaker 3: Wait, I'm sorry, I don't understand why it's illegal to
Speaker 3: throw food out the window because it's not glittering.
Speaker 2: All right, there's one thing you said about food, like
Speaker 2: you can't be thrown out like your half eat McDonald
Speaker 2: and like.
Speaker 1: That biodegrada if it doesn't are considered litter.
Speaker 5: WoT it all the time. You can't throw a gum, well.
Speaker 3: Gom, I get, because then that's that's that's sticking to
Speaker 3: the orange peelsy. I get anything that anything an animal
Speaker 3: can eat at throwout. So I would throw out the
Speaker 3: burger because that animal would love like a coyote.
Speaker 1: Yeah, sidewalks and it's all fine.
Speaker 3: No, I just eat like apples and bananas, So I
Speaker 3: just throw the oh no, oh shoot, I do do the.
Speaker 2: Peel my dad I used to put it in her
Speaker 2: calm the file because the decomposes, if becomes compost, that
Speaker 2: dead it comes from it comes from the earth.
Speaker 8: We're putting it back and then you throw it on
Speaker 8: the road. And you got a Mario Kart situation.
Speaker 3: You can't throw it on the road because I'm eating
Speaker 3: an apple right now. Fantastic. Well, I really do try
Speaker 3: to throw it so that they don't come back in
Speaker 3: the road, because I know that that's not nice. But AnyWho,
Speaker 3: if not, I'm I leave so much crap in my car. Okay, anyway,
Speaker 3: the dirty car.
Speaker 1: Okay, So what's they say that people dirty cars have
Speaker 1: clean houses and vice versa.
Speaker 3: Oh wait, say that one more time.
Speaker 1: If you have a dirty, dirty car, you have a
Speaker 1: tidy clean house.
Speaker 2: What about those of us who have.
Speaker 3: A clean car and cuse no, no, no, zero. You
Speaker 3: have all that crap by the side of the bed
Speaker 3: that you do not clean. That's something there that's not mine.
Speaker 3: Oh you know what's there? Time out? You know it's there,
Speaker 3: the intimacy that I've placed next to his bed. Yet
Speaker 3: he's still He left it outside for like three days,
Speaker 3: didn't even bring it in. Wow, all right, I guess
Speaker 3: that's staying out.
Speaker 2: We have the fifteen swaddles that you can like, not swaddles,
Speaker 2: but the carriers.
Speaker 3: Oh, the raps wraps he couldn't figure.
Speaker 2: Out, and you just left them on my side of
Speaker 2: the bed behind the door.
Speaker 5: I could never figure the wraps out, but I loved
Speaker 5: my baby Bjorn or whatever. The clip's great.
Speaker 3: Yes, that's we have that once.
Speaker 5: I never could figure out how to put the baby
Speaker 5: in and then tie.
Speaker 2: It and come on over. I'll teach you something.
Speaker 3: You don't even know need to know. Mark email.
Speaker 1: This is from Leanna. I'm a new list and love
Speaker 1: the podcast. That's very nice. Been married five years and
Speaker 1: haven't had a year without catching my husband cheating on me.
Speaker 2: Oh, let's bringing the mood down.
Speaker 1: He will go to counseling. And I've tried for years
Speaker 1: to make this work, and now that I'm at my
Speaker 1: breaking point, he finally wants to try. What should I do?
Speaker 1: No kids yet? Thanks Leanna, leave no kids yet? Thank god,
Speaker 1: that's your opportunity.
Speaker 3: The fact that he doesn't want to get help, but
Speaker 3: then he just finally did. I don't think it looks
Speaker 3: too bright for you. What I need think?
Speaker 5: Yeah, she needs to find somebody who respects her and
Speaker 5: is one hundred percent into the relationship.
Speaker 2: As soon as he gets comfortable, if she gives him
Speaker 2: another chance, as soon as he gets comfortable again, he's
Speaker 2: counted to it. If he's done every year for five years.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this girl that I was talking to, I talked
Speaker 3: to a few girls on my DM on Instagram and
Speaker 3: she's said the same thing, like, my husband just will
Speaker 3: not go to therapy and he keeps cheating and it's like, honey,
Speaker 3: like you, if you're doing the work, you're trying. But
Speaker 3: if he's not doing it, like you have to leave.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you have to because.
Speaker 3: He's going to keep doing it and he's not getting help.
Speaker 5: So that's and she's allowing yeah, because she's staying and saying, oh,
Speaker 5: you're not going to therapy. Okay, well you know it's.
Speaker 1: And she needs to look internally and figure out what
Speaker 1: it is about her self esteem and situation. Dad would
Speaker 1: allow this to happen to her over and over and
Speaker 1: over again. Isserve better.
Speaker 3: Yes, we all do that though, I mean, come on,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. Yeah, we do well and
Speaker 3: we'll time out. Though, in the defense of this guy,
Speaker 3: maybe he needed that last swift kick in the butt
Speaker 3: like you did. But plain Devil's Advocate, you messed up
Speaker 3: a couple of times, you know so, and it was
Speaker 3: that last swift kick in the butt that puts you there.
Speaker 3: So maybe this guy needed that last swift kick.
Speaker 5: I'd like to dig a little deeper with Leanna and
Speaker 5: he husband to find out what's going on, because there's
Speaker 5: something deeper there. It's not just like this guy goes
Speaker 5: out and gets.
Speaker 3: Hey, Leanne, if you're listening. Email email Jana kramantiheartmedia dot
Speaker 3: com and we'll have you call in to dig a
Speaker 3: little deeper to see if there's another side to that,
Speaker 3: because I'm saying, like the guy side, maybe he just
Speaker 3: needed that last bit. Maybe he really is ready now.
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, obviously for me going through it, I
Speaker 2: want to be able to have the guys back and
Speaker 2: give him benefit of a doubt. But if every year
Speaker 2: for five years.
Speaker 3: That's yeah, that's right.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Also the history was he doing this when they were dating?
Speaker 3: Well exactly, we need to figure that out because it's
Speaker 3: dating them. Okay, you know, so I'm not right, but
Speaker 3: like Amy said, we need to get to the weeds
Speaker 3: of this land. Yep, give us a call.
Speaker 1: This is Danielle. She says, there's a topic I would
Speaker 1: like to see if you could discuss. I'm dealing with
Speaker 1: a very narcissistic mother in law and continue to be
Speaker 1: triggered by her toxic habits. That's quite a sentence right there.
Speaker 1: My husband and I've been trying to move on from
Speaker 1: it for quite some time, but we're always going in
Speaker 1: circles because she is his mom. She's very passive, aggressive
Speaker 1: and lashes out when we least expect it, for example,
Speaker 1: after our son was born at the hospital. I feel
Speaker 1: like this is a very common issue in many marriages.
Speaker 1: As his wife, I want to set boundaries, but I
Speaker 1: don't feel like he and I are truly on the
Speaker 1: same page when it comes to addressing the situation. I
Speaker 1: want to tackle it head on. He is a little
Speaker 1: more cautious than I am, and the advice would be helpful.
Speaker 1: Asked that swaddle story was so terrifying. Glad everything was
Speaker 1: okay and your mom's things set in Thank you for
Speaker 1: the podcast and the authenticity.
Speaker 3: Thanks Daniel John. Go ahead.
Speaker 5: I just I dealt with that for so many years,
Speaker 5: almost nineteen years, and I have never felt more free.
Speaker 3: Because you divorced him. Though I divorced him, but I'm
Speaker 3: seriously not to divorce him.
Speaker 5: No, I'm not saying that, but you when there is
Speaker 5: a narcissist in the family and the mother in law,
Speaker 5: it's you just you can't tackle it in any way
Speaker 5: except to put up your boundaries, which I took years, years,
Speaker 5: you know, for me to learn how to do that.
Speaker 5: But you aren't going to escape it. He's never going
Speaker 5: to be one hundred percent on your side because she's
Speaker 5: probably so manipulative that he's getting two stories. And he's
Speaker 5: always believed his mother as she's who cared for him.
Speaker 5: So you're never going to win. There is no I
Speaker 5: was going to say, there's no winner in this, but
Speaker 5: she's the winner. But if you do not give that
Speaker 5: the attention, and you cut the toxic energy off by
Speaker 5: don't go over there when she comes over to the house,
Speaker 5: have appointments, go to yoga, you're going to have to
Speaker 5: really not spend time with her. She is always going
Speaker 5: to feel that way.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Always.
Speaker 3: Our friend is kind of going through that. And you
Speaker 3: know they've been married for twenty is she twenty years?
Speaker 3: I think? And whereas she had to set massive boundaries
Speaker 3: around it. But it took a while for her husband
Speaker 3: to even see what the mom was doing because they're
Speaker 3: so blinded, like you said, by their mothers.
Speaker 2: It's that poor guy. I mean, you have the two
Speaker 2: most important women in your life pulling you two different directions.
Speaker 2: And it's like you said, Jay, I mean, there's been
Speaker 2: there his whole life. That's all he knows until he
Speaker 2: met his wife, right.
Speaker 5: So, and he's also programmed by her manipulation, right, because
Speaker 5: even your husband as a toddler was being manipulated because
Speaker 5: that's what narcissists do, so you know, it's so it's
Speaker 5: not his fault.
Speaker 2: No, if Danielle can have some empathy and look at
Speaker 2: it from that standpoint, be like, you know, this has
Speaker 2: to be hard that you feel like you're in the
Speaker 2: middle right and have to deal with this, like how
Speaker 2: can I help you? Instead of her being like you
Speaker 2: have to say no to your mother, we have to
Speaker 2: do this, being like, hey, how can I help you
Speaker 2: figure this out? What can we do? As opposed to attacking.
Speaker 3: I I'm kind of on two side this because before
Speaker 3: I had a son, I would say, oh, that mom's
Speaker 3: just enabling and she's being you know, he's just a
Speaker 3: mama's boy, and blah blah blah blah blah, and just
Speaker 3: make every excuse like how I always sayd with Pam.
Speaker 3: I was like, I can't believe Pam thinks that we
Speaker 3: should spend every Christmas at her house, you know, And
Speaker 3: then now you okay, but then but then now it's
Speaker 3: my son is spending every Christmas with me, and I'm
Speaker 3: going to have it by my side and I'm not
Speaker 3: going to So now it's like he's my boy, and
Speaker 3: I may not be a narcissist, but he's he's the
Speaker 3: love of my life. Like I'm his first and only
Speaker 3: woman he'll ever love. I mean, I'm and I'm reading.
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, that's going to be me, Like I'm
Speaker 3: going to be I'm going to be terrible. I will.
Speaker 3: He's my boy, Like I am so literally obsessed with
Speaker 3: that boy that no girl will be perfect for him.
Speaker 3: Like it makes me want to cry, like no girl,
Speaker 3: Oh that comes in house, get out immediately, immediate.
Speaker 5: Room side.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, so I don't know, Sorry, daniel Just do that.
Speaker 5: You know what else, Danielle, what you need to do
Speaker 5: is educate yourself and your husband on narcissist and how
Speaker 5: they behave in how they are in relationships, and it
Speaker 5: will give you a better understanding and will also help
Speaker 5: your husband wrap his head around technology behavior.
Speaker 2: Yeah hopefully.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so huge. Thank you to Joybird. Go to joybird
Speaker 3: dot com slash Jana and receive an exclusive offer for
Speaker 3: twenty five percent off your first order by using the
Speaker 3: code Jana Brooklynning get twenty dollars off and free shipping
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Speaker 3: That's your first refiel pack free at get quip g
Speaker 3: e t q u ip dot com. Slash Jana Lola
Speaker 3: for forty percent off all subscriptions. Visit mylola dot com
Speaker 3: and enter in Jana when you subscribe. Okay, this has
Speaker 3: been a really fun show. I've really enjoyed it. There's
Speaker 3: been some good emails. Doctor Kristen was great.
Speaker 5: Jen love fertility stuff. It is.
Speaker 3: It's sad. I just feel because we've been there, we've
Speaker 3: been not being able to have a baby. It's just
Speaker 3: there's so many women out there in this situation. So
Speaker 3: we love you, and uh, let's wind down again next week.
Speaker 3: Oh by the way, next week, for sure f g
Speaker 3: L one of them will be here. I messed up
Speaker 3: on my dates, But next week stay tuned.
Speaker 5: The Apple Crunk, The Apple