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Speaker 1: Swine Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio podcast.

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Speaker 2: He never gets told.

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Speaker 3: Mark is spicy today?

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Speaker 4: What do you do?

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Speaker 3: He's spicy. That's the best word I can say for

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Speaker 3: him right now. He's just spicy.

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Speaker 2: It's ready to battle.

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Speaker 3: You are? What's up with you?

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Speaker 1: It's been a long week and it's only Tuesday morning.

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Speaker 3: I mean, what do you doing? That stings it? Okay, technically,

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Speaker 3: you know, Monday not bad?

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Speaker 1: Four thirty, normal, normal day.

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Speaker 3: Mark. Mark is the producer of the Ryan Sea Crush Show,

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Speaker 3: and he has the pleasure of doing our show, the privilege.

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Speaker 1: It is a pleasure. It's a delight to each week.

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Speaker 3: Well, I just I like it when you're spicy.

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Speaker 2: Thank you.

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Speaker 3: Just I don't know. You just have a little too

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Speaker 3: too you and I like it. I appreciate that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: No, we were talking about that on the way here.

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Speaker 3: I said, if I ever have an assistant, I just

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Speaker 3: the thing for me is I'm I'm always like five

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Speaker 3: steps ahead. Yeah, so it's hard for someone to be

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Speaker 3: six steps.

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Speaker 2: You naturally kind of expect people to.

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Speaker 3: Read your mind. I get my timelines. My timeline is

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Speaker 3: just different than most people. So I like to just

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Speaker 3: I want to do it. I want done now, which

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Speaker 3: is what we get on each other for sometimes Again,

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Speaker 3: if you sat down, like, for example, we're just going

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Speaker 3: through our house stuff right now with the builds. Oh,

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Speaker 3: by the way, that cough, I'm gonna talk about that

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Speaker 3: in a second. Right, No, no, no, we're on this one.

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Speaker 3: So we're going through the house thing and we have

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Speaker 3: to change something with our builder. So I was like,

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Speaker 3: are you going to call Justin? He's like, y'all call him.

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Speaker 3: Two seconds later, I'll call Justin. I'll call him. He's like, no,

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Speaker 3: I'll call him. I was like, why isn't your phone

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Speaker 3: in your hand, because again, it.

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Speaker 2: Can give me two minutes just finished processing my thoughts

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Speaker 2: or what we were looking at. You're like, oh, well

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Speaker 2: I can call him, like easy, Tiger, Like, I got it.

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Speaker 3: I'll just call him.

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Speaker 2: It's really good, ridiculous.

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Speaker 3: I know my timeline is just now and then that cough.

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Speaker 3: Literally at three o'clock in the morning, it's like he

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Speaker 3: wanted to wake me up. Because at three o'clock in

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Speaker 3: the morning, I see his face in my face and

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Speaker 3: he goes and I'm like, oh, good morning, hello, I

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Speaker 3: guess I'm up. I guess I'm up. Now I don't

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Speaker 3: know what it is. Did you just want me to

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Speaker 3: wake up?

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Speaker 2: No, I thought I was dying. Yeah, I can breathe.

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Speaker 3: He's had this thing. Actually I'm kind of concerned. Go ahead,

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Speaker 3: but what you can't breathe in the middle of the night.

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Speaker 2: Well, it happened like once where I got up in

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Speaker 2: the middle of the night and I was having chest

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Speaker 2: pains and I could not catch I couldn't catch my breath.

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Speaker 2: I couldn't and I was like up by the door,

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Speaker 2: like hit him in the wall because I was like,

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Speaker 2: and Jane's like, are you okay? And I wanted to say,

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Speaker 2: like shut up, like I'm dying, but I couldn't. So

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Speaker 2: it was really weird. It was actually really scary. And yeah,

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Speaker 2: last night I kind of had the feeling of similar

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Speaker 2: where I'll take a deep inhale when I get to

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Speaker 2: the top of my breath, i'd kind of start to

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Speaker 2: feel that again. I'm like, what the hell is going

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Speaker 2: on with me?

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Speaker 3: It sounds like anxiety is what I told you this one.

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Speaker 2: This is like a physical thing.

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Speaker 3: This doesn't seem like an anxiety is physical. It's not

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Speaker 3: just in your head, even though you think it's always

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Speaker 3: just in my head. This isn't just in your head.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it could be anxiety, it could be physical,

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Speaker 1: could be both. I had a roommate who was actually

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Speaker 1: still a good friend and godfather of one of my kids.

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Speaker 1: He had an issue when he would wake up in

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Speaker 1: the middle of the night and whatever position he was

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Speaker 1: in that would cause this and his throat would close. Oh,

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Speaker 1: and so you would wake up to him literally running

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Speaker 1: around the house going It was almull and scary, but

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Speaker 1: he'd be running your own making that noise. And the

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Speaker 1: first time it happened, we didn't know what was going on,

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Speaker 1: and then we kind of got used to it, unfortunately,

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Speaker 1: but it's a scary thing, like what would you do?

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Speaker 1: He would have to run around, run around the house,

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Speaker 1: so I don't think that's necessary. He would call and

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Speaker 1: eventually he would the panic would subside and it would

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Speaker 1: he would calm down, and then it would start to

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Speaker 1: get better.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, terrifying.

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Speaker 1: It was terrifying.

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Speaker 3: Die, Well, you need to figure that out. But I

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Speaker 3: think in that moment, whenever I've had anxiety, if whether

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Speaker 3: it's anxiety or not, but breathing to open up your lungs,

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Speaker 3: you put your arms up so for your daughter too.

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Speaker 3: For some reason, you're having anxiety or anything like that,

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Speaker 3: you put.

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Speaker 2: Your hands up.

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Speaker 3: He put your hands up and your lungs open up.

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Speaker 3: Apparently that's what someone told all right, well I probably

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Speaker 3: read in Cosmo.

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Speaker 2: I'll try it. But yeah, I mean so we've been up.

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Speaker 2: Really we got Easton and Mark beat because we've been

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Speaker 2: up since like three.

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Speaker 3: That's true. Yea, guys. The cough because the cough, the cough,

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Speaker 3: And I said thank you because I have not been

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Speaker 3: able to go to bed because then I was up,

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Speaker 3: and then Jay started crying, and then I was I

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Speaker 3: had the middle of the night feed. So yeah, go

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Speaker 3: team Go, go team girl. So fun, So it's up.

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Speaker 2: I had an interest saying, so I saved this. You

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Speaker 2: know you always talk about save it for the podcast.

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Speaker 3: So are we going to get in a fight. I

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Speaker 3: really don't want to fight. I'm in a great mood.

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Speaker 3: I really like you right now Valentine's Day, Like it's

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Speaker 3: all good, all.

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Speaker 2: Right, we'll scratch that for next week. No, no, no, no,

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Speaker 2: it's it's not it's not a fight.

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Speaker 3: It's oh no, it's something about it.

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Speaker 2: It's it's introspectives. What's what that's what we talk about,

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Speaker 2: give the people what they want to hear. So when

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Speaker 2: we were up in Monterey right at the golf tournament

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Speaker 2: this past weekend, we got home from the tournament and

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Speaker 2: we were kind of winding down. Pun intended, you're welcome.

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Speaker 3: Wait back home to the hotel or like home to the.

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Speaker 2: House at the hotel. Okay, okay, and you in the

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Speaker 2: bathroom start a bath.

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Speaker 3: Yeah okay.

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Speaker 2: As soon as you did that, I immediately started to

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Speaker 2: get anxiety, really because.

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Speaker 3: It's so funny, because I have something to say around this.

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Speaker 2: I just assumed that I anticipated you saying, hey, like,

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Speaker 2: I'm drawing a bath, do you want to come in?

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Speaker 2: And my initial thought was like no, like no, like

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna have to say no to her. That was

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Speaker 2: my thought is I'm gonna have to say no to you,

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Speaker 2: and then you're gonna, you know, get upset and be

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Speaker 2: like you don't want to be intimate and blah blah blah.

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Speaker 2: But by allowing you just to do that and me

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Speaker 2: stay in the other room and I got to go

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Speaker 2: to the bathroom while you were in there, you have to.

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Speaker 3: Take a boop. We're a relaxing bubble bath.

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Speaker 2: You gotta do no, that time I didn't. I still

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Speaker 2: had to, but that time I did. So I go

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Speaker 2: into the bathroom and I was like nervous to go

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Speaker 2: in the bathroom because I'm like, she's gonna see me,

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Speaker 2: she's gonna be like, hey, come in the bath with me.

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Speaker 2: So I get in and get out safe, like I

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Speaker 2: made it out safe and alive without without you asking.

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Speaker 2: So I was like, okay, anxiety gone. But then sitting

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Speaker 2: in bed, I was like, you know what, I kind

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Speaker 2: of want to go in there. But it was because

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Speaker 2: but it's weird. It's but that's how I felt. It

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Speaker 2: was because you did not ask me. I didn't feel

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Speaker 2: the pressure ultimately to not do it, like I just

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Speaker 2: ended up doing it because I wanted to. But it's

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Speaker 2: like it's something with me. When it's someone else's idea

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Speaker 2: or someone else's you know, motivate, it's I'm uncomfortable with

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Speaker 2: it for whatever reason. And that could even be sometimes

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Speaker 2: when you asked me if I want to work out

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Speaker 2: because it was your idea, I'm like, actually, I'm okay

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Speaker 2: right now, But if I had the idea before that,

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Speaker 2: then I wouldn't go work out, Like I'm completely motivated.

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Speaker 3: Where does that come from.

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Speaker 2: I don't know, but it's just something I've I've noticed

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Speaker 2: more in different kinds of situations, whether again it's something

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Speaker 2: intimate like the bath or something as stupid as working out.

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Speaker 3: That's so interesting. I mean even that probably correlates to

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Speaker 3: with them, we're in bed and you felt like we

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Speaker 3: had to have sex, and then that's when you leave

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Speaker 3: your head because it was always the routine.

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Speaker 2: In the past two months, we've had more sex, yeah,

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Speaker 2: and than we have in the last year.

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Speaker 3: Give us a sound real, that's it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, It's like, if it wasn't my idea, then it

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Speaker 2: doesn't feel like I don't know, it's just weird. It's

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Speaker 2: just something that came up for me.

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Speaker 3: I'm super curious to see what your therapist and where

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Speaker 3: that comes from.

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Speaker 2: I know, I mean, you know me, I've always had

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Speaker 2: an issue.

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Speaker 3: With well you don't like yeah, you don't like that,

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Speaker 3: But this is different. This is may being like, hey,

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Speaker 3: spend some time with me.

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Speaker 2: I know, but it's like, because it wasn't my idea,

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Speaker 2: I get uncomfortable.

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Speaker 3: Wow. Yeah, do you want to know something funny around

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Speaker 3: the bathtub thing? Though? This is so funny that you

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Speaker 3: brought this up. I was actually annoyed that you came

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Speaker 3: in the bathtub. Oh I was, because it almost like

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Speaker 3: this is my time. Oh that's it's so funny. That's

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Speaker 3: why I started laughing when you brought this up, because

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Speaker 3: I'm like, man, you know, I know I was. I

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Speaker 3: was initially because that's why I didn't ask you, because

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Speaker 3: I didn't want you to come in. I genuinely wanted

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Speaker 3: to just relax on my own. We just spent and

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Speaker 3: you know, the entire day walking around a golf course,

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Speaker 3: you know, for you, and I just wanted to have

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Speaker 3: my moment to just be in the bath and relax.

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Speaker 3: The lavender, you know, bath salts and.

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Speaker 2: That is hilarious.

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Speaker 3: And you know what's so funny is I almost said

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Speaker 3: some into you, like babe, don't feel pressured to come

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Speaker 3: in the bath that because I actually wanted to be

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Speaker 3: in the bath by myself. So that's how I didn't ask.

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Speaker 3: And then when you came in, I almost said something

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Speaker 3: like no, no, you're you're good, like you don't have

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Speaker 3: to come in. But then I was like, well, he's

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Speaker 3: he's trying because he probably feels like he has to

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Speaker 3: so and then ended up being a great bath.

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Speaker 1: Girl.

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Speaker 3: But initially I was annoyed when you got in. That's

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Speaker 3: so funny, it is, isn't it. That's interesting.

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Speaker 2: And what's interesting is say I say I didn't come

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Speaker 2: in right, and I would have I would have I

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Speaker 2: would have thought the rest of the night. I would

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Speaker 2: have been like, you know what, she wanted me in

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Speaker 2: the bath and I didn't go in. So even if

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Speaker 2: you wanted to be intimate later that night, I probably

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Speaker 2: would have been a little bit more uncomfortable because knowing

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Speaker 2: in the back of my head that I probably disappointed

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Speaker 2: you that I didn't come in the bath, and now

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Speaker 2: you're trying to be intimate now, and I just play

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Speaker 2: those games in my head. It's just it's weird.

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Speaker 1: But if she had said to you before you got it,

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Speaker 1: if she had said, by the I'm gonna take a bath,

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Speaker 1: but don't feel like you need to come out. I

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Speaker 1: really just want to spend him alone time, would that

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Speaker 1: have been fun. It would have been like, it.

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Speaker 2: Would have been totally fine, but I would have had

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Speaker 2: the same feeling I ultimately had, where it's like, well,

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Speaker 2: I kind of want to get in the bath because

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Speaker 2: she told because I was off the hook, right and

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Speaker 2: there's no pressure at all. It would have been one

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Speaker 2: hundred percent my idea because I want to come into

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Speaker 2: the bath.

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Speaker 3: I probably would have so funny.

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Speaker 2: I probably would have wanted to, but I would I

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Speaker 2: wouldn't have, but I would have been like, you know,

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Speaker 2: I want to come in.

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Speaker 3: But this is so funny. I love this.

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Speaker 1: It's the beauty of this podcast. Yeah yeah, it's what

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Speaker 1: were you thinking all this week in our married interactions?

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Speaker 3: Yeah right, and this is what.

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Speaker 2: And the one time you don't want me to be

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Speaker 2: intimate or.

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Speaker 3: Join you, I just wanted to relax.

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Speaker 2: We didn't do to that.

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Speaker 3: Oh that's funny. Well I can't wait to will you?

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Speaker 3: Will you keep our podcast listeners up to date on that.

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Speaker 2: I'm sure they're going to be dying to find out. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I mean I will. I'll check in with Aron about

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Speaker 2: it and get back to you.

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Speaker 3: Love it, okay. So Joybird believes that you should never

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Speaker 3: settle when it comes to your home furnishings, and that

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Speaker 3: and I actually just ordered the Merrit couch and Taylor

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Speaker 3: so everyone has been asking dming commenting, Where's Jen, Where's Jen?

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Speaker 3: What's going on with Jen? Jen?

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Speaker 5: I'm here, I'm here, I'm out of my office.

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Speaker 3: Out of the office. So Jen is the producer of

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Speaker 3: the Ryan Seacrush Show. Well, well, whoops, Mark.

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Speaker 5: Is the executive producer. I was on here with Ryan seacrast. Yes,

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Speaker 5: I sort of oversee the National Show and American Top

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Speaker 5: forty and then the branding that comes in for the shows,

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Speaker 5: which can be really demanding at the end of the

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Speaker 5: year and the beginning of the year.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. So Jen is she's a busy lady, so that's

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Speaker 3: why she's been absent for a little while. But we

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Speaker 3: love her. And she's a wine downer, so she's you know, whenever.

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Speaker 5: Yes, whenever.

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Speaker 3: How is Rocco?

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Speaker 5: He's great. Yeah, he's so much fun. He is really

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Speaker 5: getting into sports right now. We went to Hawaii and

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Speaker 5: the first day we were there, we were at the

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Speaker 5: beach and I through the football for two and a

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Speaker 5: half hours and at one point, I thought to myself,

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Speaker 5: I'm not going to be able to move my arm tomorrow.

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Speaker 5: And I woke up the next morning I couldn't move

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Speaker 5: my right arm. So of course he wakes up and

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Speaker 5: he says, let's go play football. And I was like,

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Speaker 5: I can't move my arm. He goes, just use the

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Speaker 5: other one. So I'm out there and I'm trying to

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Speaker 5: throw with my left arm, which I can't even really

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Speaker 5: throw football anyways, let's be honest, and he's like that's

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Speaker 5: not good enough. And I was like, whoa, do you

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Speaker 5: know what. I'm gonna go wake your uncle up. He

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Speaker 5: can throw the football with you.

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Speaker 3: So was the man there. No, no, he grays anymore.

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Speaker 5: No, we're together.

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Speaker 3: Okay.

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Speaker 5: But he goes to the East coast to visit his parents.

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Speaker 5: And this was a trip with my sister who doesn't

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Speaker 5: have children and.

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Speaker 3: Oh that's sister, like your sister sister. How you guys

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Speaker 3: aren't like.

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Speaker 5: Into her husband? And then Rocco and me and it

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Speaker 5: was an incredible trip. We went to Maui. We have

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Speaker 5: this like fancy because I call him the fancy cousin,

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Speaker 5: and he has a house there, so he he was like,

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Speaker 5: just I'll use it it's not being and we went.

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Speaker 5: It was incredible and it was fabulous and I played

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Speaker 5: a lot.

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Speaker 2: Of football a lot holidays.

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Speaker 5: That was over the holidays. Then we got back Christmas night,

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Speaker 5: like at eleven o'clock at night, and I opened the

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Speaker 5: gate and there was water everywhere, and I was like, wow,

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Speaker 5: it must have rained here today. And then all of

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Speaker 5: a sudden I looked at the garage and I was like, wait,

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Speaker 5: the water was coming out of the garage. And then

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Speaker 5: I went upstairs in the hole. All the walls were

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Speaker 5: all bubbles.

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Speaker 3: It was like Home Alone. It was yes, remember yes,

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Speaker 3: Home Alone too New York. Yeah, The Old Man, No,

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Speaker 3: which almost that wasn't it was the first one? Was

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Speaker 3: it the first?

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Speaker 5: I don't know, I've watched all three of those.

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Speaker 3: The House, The House, Yeah, but.

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Speaker 5: It Yeah, it was pretty much. That was it. So

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Speaker 5: then that was a three week affair and I was

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Speaker 5: in an airbnb.

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Speaker 3: Jeez, even like going through it.

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Speaker 5: Crazy goodness, crazy, But I just roll with it, you know.

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Speaker 3: And you're happy with the guy. Everything's good, he's great. Love.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So between all that, I don't know how you haven't

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Speaker 2: had time to come on the Show's.

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Speaker 3: Cool, Yeah, busy at all.

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Speaker 5: All the contractors. It was like, you know, schedule after schedule,

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Speaker 5: Yeah yeah.

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Speaker 2: Coming off with that, today we have special guests doctor Kristin,

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Speaker 2: who's here to talk about lovely subject of fertility. Hey,

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Speaker 2: doctor Kristen, A nice to be here.

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Speaker 3: Thank you. Where's your office?

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Speaker 6: Downtown?

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Speaker 3: Downtown?

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Speaker 6: Okay, we're in a like right off of the one

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Speaker 6: ten or good same hospital.

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Speaker 3: And then Gen, you've shared your your fertility issues on

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Speaker 3: the show.

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Speaker 5: Have they have I I'm not sure?

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Speaker 3: Refresh us.

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Speaker 5: Okay. So I've never been on birth control my ever

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Speaker 5: cut never.

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Speaker 3: Okay, never, not once okay.

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Speaker 5: And I was married for twelve years before I even

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Speaker 5: you know, got pregnant, which is a very long time

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Speaker 5: to be you know, it was, and we weren't careful.

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Speaker 5: It's a very long time. So when I was starting

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Speaker 5: to get older, I thought, I, you know, well, we

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Speaker 5: have to get serious about this. So I bought one

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Speaker 5: of the digital ovulation calculators and I started going to

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Speaker 5: acupuncture twice a week in the beginning, and I drank

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Speaker 5: this weird tea three times a day that I really

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Speaker 5: I have no idea what was in it. I probably

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Speaker 5: should have asked, but it took about six to seven months,

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Speaker 5: and then I finally got pregnant. And it's really funny

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Speaker 5: because I knew immediately. It was like two weeks pregnant,

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Speaker 5: and I knew. I was at a like a summer

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Speaker 5: pool party and was drinking a ton of tequila. And

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Speaker 5: the next morning I just got d and ike up

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Speaker 5: the next morning and I was like, wow, I feel awful,

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Speaker 5: like not normal awful. It was like, there's I must

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Speaker 5: be pregnant. So I got like, I got ready for work.

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Speaker 5: I was launching the Oprah Winfree Network, and I stopped

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Speaker 5: at the right aid and got a bunch of pregnancy

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Speaker 5: tests and went to work, went into the bathroom and

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Speaker 5: started taking pregnancy tests. So I found out I was

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Speaker 5: pregnant in the open Windfree Network bathroom. And it was

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Speaker 5: like two weeks pregnant.

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Speaker 3: How did you tell you're so hungover? Like nothing, I

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Speaker 3: did drink now that day to get the hangover over.

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Speaker 5: No, because I was pregnant.

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Speaker 3: It was like that first day. I know, every time

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Speaker 3: I always did, I'm like, I'm so.

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Speaker 2: There has to be more to this than just being

403
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Speaker 2: on over. This is not normal.

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Speaker 5: It was so crazy. So I never officially found out

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Speaker 5: if I had fertility issues, but I just suspected, yeah,

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Speaker 5: because it was I had to make it my job.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean twelve years without using any protection, not

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Speaker 6: really paying attention. Right, at some point along the way,

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Speaker 6: you would have thought that you would have got pregnant

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Speaker 6: at least once.

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Speaker 5: At least once, right for sure?

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Speaker 3: Are there a lot of women though, that have chemical

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Speaker 3: pregnancy chemical losses so that they actually get pregnant, but

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00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:24,959
Speaker 3: they just think it's their period.

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00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:28,960
Speaker 6: Absolutely. I think that in the first couple of days after,

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00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:32,680
Speaker 6: like when you're periods supposed to come, you can't even

417
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:35,920
Speaker 6: pianistick because it'll still be negative. Oftentimes we can see

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00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:37,480
Speaker 6: it in our office if someone comes in for a

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00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:40,399
Speaker 6: blood test, but if you're two three days late, some

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Speaker 6: of those women could be having biochemicals and they just

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00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:46,080
Speaker 6: there's not really any way to tell when you're at.

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Speaker 2: Home, Right, do you recommend or would you recommend? Because

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00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:51,040
Speaker 2: I know when Jane and I started to try to

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00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:54,919
Speaker 2: get pregnant, and we just kind of started trying just

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00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:57,679
Speaker 2: on our own, and then finally we weren't having success,

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00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:59,320
Speaker 2: so then we went in to see here Obi and

427
00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:04,320
Speaker 2: ultimately had to get some things done to maximize the

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00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:05,639
Speaker 2: possibility of having a child.

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Speaker 3: Was it the historioscopy?

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00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:10,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, historioscopy. I mean, do you think that's something that's

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00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:13,120
Speaker 2: beneficial where if a young woman wants to start looking

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Speaker 2: at that, where she just starts off by going to

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Speaker 2: see her doctor and be like, hey, I'm thinking about

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00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:20,480
Speaker 2: having kids, let's try to check everything right now so

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00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:23,320
Speaker 2: they're not quote unquote wasting time or because.

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Speaker 3: We had that HSG test where we would have been

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Speaker 3: trying for years and I would have gotten pregnant because

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Speaker 3: I would have never known that my tubes were blocked.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, I think that's a great point. And I

440
00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:36,119
Speaker 6: actually do think it's a wonderful idea for women to

441
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:38,600
Speaker 6: think about that one, because there are so many things

442
00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:41,400
Speaker 6: that probably need to be checked out before you're even

443
00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:44,400
Speaker 6: thinking about fertility. Things are you immune to chicken pox?

444
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:47,520
Speaker 6: And you have medical issues that maybe need to be

445
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:51,040
Speaker 6: managed before you get pregnant. So it's always a good

446
00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:52,960
Speaker 6: idea to talk to an obi Juan. And then a

447
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,960
Speaker 6: lot of people don't really understand the timing of when

448
00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:57,840
Speaker 6: is the right time have sex in order to get pregnant,

449
00:20:58,080 --> 00:20:59,600
Speaker 6: and so if you're not educated on that and you

450
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:01,840
Speaker 6: don't want to read on it online or something like that.

451
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:04,919
Speaker 6: You can talk to your obijui in about that. In

452
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:09,560
Speaker 6: terms of actually just jumping in and doing fertility diagnostic

453
00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:13,840
Speaker 6: testing before you've even tried, I think it's reasonable, certainly,

454
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:17,080
Speaker 6: depending on what your ages. Most couples are going to

455
00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:19,280
Speaker 6: get pregnant in those first three months. We think about

456
00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:21,320
Speaker 6: half of them are going to get pregnant, and then

457
00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:24,320
Speaker 6: in six months it's probably about seventy percent. So if

458
00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:27,040
Speaker 6: you're at three months and it hasn't been working and

459
00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:29,040
Speaker 6: you're nervous about it, and it's just going to give

460
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:31,040
Speaker 6: you some peace of mind that you can just kind

461
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:34,240
Speaker 6: of keep on trying on your own without intervening necessarily.

462
00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:36,400
Speaker 6: I think it's fine to go see your doctor and say, hey,

463
00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:38,640
Speaker 6: you know, I don't you know, if my insurance doesn't

464
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:40,040
Speaker 6: pay for it, I'm happy to pay for it out

465
00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:41,760
Speaker 6: of pocket. But it just kind of it would make

466
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:43,600
Speaker 6: me feel a lot better and make me a little

467
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:46,639
Speaker 6: bit more common this process, because it can be so stressful.

468
00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:48,840
Speaker 3: Especially when you're trying have a baby. That's you know,

469
00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:51,000
Speaker 3: We've had friends that just try for years and it's

470
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:52,760
Speaker 3: like when you actually try. Who were just talking to

471
00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:55,560
Speaker 3: last night, We're talking to my friend Cherry, and it's like,

472
00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:58,480
Speaker 3: when you actually try to have a baby, it's so hard.

473
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:01,399
Speaker 6: Yeah, And I think that most I think many women

474
00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:06,000
Speaker 6: really aren't seeking treatment when they need to. Right, They've

475
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:09,840
Speaker 6: been trying for six months, a year, two years, and

476
00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:13,520
Speaker 6: they haven't seen anyone yet. And you're absolutely right. For

477
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:15,360
Speaker 6: those women, there could have been something that we could

478
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:18,600
Speaker 6: have identified in the beginning that could have just saved

479
00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:21,000
Speaker 6: them all that time and all that enguish and grief.

480
00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:24,960
Speaker 2: Does any of that have to do with maybe a

481
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:27,600
Speaker 2: young woman is fearful of maybe what they might find

482
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:28,080
Speaker 2: out or is.

483
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:30,800
Speaker 3: It just more of absolutely really right?

484
00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:32,960
Speaker 2: Or I didn't know if it was more of just like,

485
00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:36,040
Speaker 2: h no, I'm just you know, I'll get pregnant, just

486
00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:36,720
Speaker 2: over confidence.

487
00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:39,520
Speaker 5: I guess I just thought I would get pregnant at

488
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:43,679
Speaker 5: some point, although as I got older, I knew that

489
00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:47,959
Speaker 5: I had to be proactive and I was going to

490
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:51,000
Speaker 5: go to the doctor at some point if I didn't,

491
00:22:51,359 --> 00:22:54,040
Speaker 5: you know, if I didn't get pregnant with the holistic

492
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:57,119
Speaker 5: approach that I took. And I will tell you, you know,

493
00:22:57,359 --> 00:22:59,400
Speaker 5: I think I've talked about my ex mother in law

494
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:03,280
Speaker 5: a little, but have it I Yeah, she's fun It

495
00:23:03,359 --> 00:23:07,200
Speaker 5: was really funny because as soon as I was announcing

496
00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:10,639
Speaker 5: that I was pregnant, she took full credit for it,

497
00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:14,360
Speaker 5: which I thought was fantastic because she said, oh my god,

498
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:18,640
Speaker 5: it's been twelve years and you have never gotten pregnant.

499
00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:26,159
Speaker 5: I spent all day five months ago praying, which I

500
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:29,359
Speaker 5: love that she was praying and that energy is great.

501
00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:34,160
Speaker 5: I want to support that. But it was she took

502
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:38,440
Speaker 5: full credit. And it could be I don't know, maybe

503
00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:42,199
Speaker 5: it wasn't the acupuncture and tea, you know, whatever, but

504
00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:47,080
Speaker 5: I just you know, she took full credit for the

505
00:23:47,119 --> 00:23:50,440
Speaker 5: baby before she did. It's fantastic.

506
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:54,040
Speaker 6: I think young women are so much more aware of

507
00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:56,320
Speaker 6: fertility issues now, and a lot of that is just

508
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:58,520
Speaker 6: a lot of the press with egg freezing and that

509
00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:01,480
Speaker 6: they know that that's an option, and because egg freezing

510
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:04,320
Speaker 6: is out there and yeah, a lot of young women

511
00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:08,520
Speaker 6: are doing it. I think more young women are aware

512
00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:12,120
Speaker 6: of the fact that ages sometimes and oftentimes an issue

513
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:15,199
Speaker 6: as you get older, and so because of that are

514
00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:18,880
Speaker 6: more proactive. So, for example, at my office, we have

515
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:22,600
Speaker 6: a diagnostic testing program, so you can come in and

516
00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:25,560
Speaker 6: have some levels checked and have an ultrasound I'm not

517
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:26,800
Speaker 6: going to be able to predict if you're going to

518
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:28,520
Speaker 6: be able to get pregnant next month if you try,

519
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:32,640
Speaker 6: But I certainly can sometimes identify issues that may be

520
00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:35,560
Speaker 6: problematic later so that you can kind of get a

521
00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:37,840
Speaker 6: jump on it and maybe do egg freezing if that's

522
00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:40,719
Speaker 6: something that you're considering, or just kind of plan up

523
00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:45,159
Speaker 6: more thoughtfully how you're going to manage when you're going

524
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:46,959
Speaker 6: to get pregnant, depending on how many kids you want,

525
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:47,640
Speaker 6: how old you.

526
00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:50,800
Speaker 5: Are, What age do you recommend that women start freezing

527
00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:51,400
Speaker 5: their eggs?

528
00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:55,480
Speaker 6: Well, for best start to do it. Yeah, early thirties.

529
00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:57,560
Speaker 6: It makes the most sense because you want to do

530
00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:59,960
Speaker 6: it under the age of thirty five, but you don't

531
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:03,120
Speaker 6: want to necessarily do it too young. Where a bunch

532
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:05,639
Speaker 6: of twenty one year olds are going around freezing their eggs,

533
00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:07,320
Speaker 6: they're never going to use them.

534
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:10,479
Speaker 5: What happens to those eggs? Are they donated? Can people

535
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:12,639
Speaker 5: we adopt.

536
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:15,280
Speaker 3: That We so we had an embryo that we were

537
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:17,359
Speaker 3: freezing for a while, we end up using it, got pregnant,

538
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:20,760
Speaker 3: but lost it. But on that sheet, Jennet says, like

539
00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:22,919
Speaker 3: if so if he dies, or if we break up,

540
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:24,480
Speaker 3: or if I die or whatever what we can do

541
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:26,640
Speaker 3: with the embryo. So either we give it away for

542
00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:32,000
Speaker 3: adoption adoption essentially, or it goes to testing, or they

543
00:25:32,119 --> 00:25:37,200
Speaker 3: unthought and it goes away. It's it's very weird. Wow, yeah,

544
00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:39,560
Speaker 3: because because you're to us when we were saying that,

545
00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:42,040
Speaker 3: I'm like this, but this is a child, right, But

546
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:43,880
Speaker 3: they're like, no, it's a petri dish of a child.

547
00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:45,639
Speaker 3: I'm like, no, but it's a it could be a child.

548
00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:46,320
Speaker 4: Yeah.

549
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:49,080
Speaker 2: You humanize it a little bit to be like, all right,

550
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:52,879
Speaker 2: well do we want you know, spawn of us around

551
00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:55,680
Speaker 2: if we're not around? It was weird.

552
00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:58,960
Speaker 5: That's a really difficult decision to make.

553
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:00,840
Speaker 3: It's really hard.

554
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:02,720
Speaker 6: I think there are I mean, there are some places

555
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:06,880
Speaker 6: where you can donate embryos to other couples. It's not

556
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:10,760
Speaker 6: incredibly common, but it definitely happens. I think we haven't

557
00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:12,800
Speaker 6: faced the issue of what's going to happen if we

558
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:16,199
Speaker 6: have a bunch of leftover eggs at some point. I

559
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:19,600
Speaker 6: do think that just like with embryos, there will be

560
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:22,520
Speaker 6: something set up someday that those eggs could be potentially

561
00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:25,720
Speaker 6: donated to someone else. But we haven't really crossed that

562
00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:28,119
Speaker 6: threshold because We're just starting to get to the point

563
00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:31,000
Speaker 6: where women who froze their eggs eight years ago are

564
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:33,240
Speaker 6: finally coming back. And that's what I'm seeing in my practice,

565
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:34,240
Speaker 6: which is really exciting.

566
00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:36,879
Speaker 2: Do you think it's like, obviously, as we're seeing in

567
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:41,159
Speaker 2: society the trend of couples getting married later having children

568
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:43,760
Speaker 2: later in life. Do you think that's more of just

569
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:46,480
Speaker 2: kind of monogamy going downhill or is it? Or is

570
00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:50,800
Speaker 2: it or honestly or in divorce rates increasing or is

571
00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:53,920
Speaker 2: it also women being more successful in more careers and

572
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:56,639
Speaker 2: their more careers driven nowadays and they were, you know,

573
00:26:56,920 --> 00:26:57,600
Speaker 2: decades ago.

574
00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:00,800
Speaker 3: What are you saying, Mike, career driven?

575
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:06,960
Speaker 2: Because society is giving women more opportunities to be more

576
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:09,840
Speaker 2: careers driven. So I was just curious if you thought

577
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:11,240
Speaker 2: it was more one than.

578
00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:13,480
Speaker 6: The other, or I mean, from the patients that are

579
00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:16,560
Speaker 6: coming into my office, I think it's probably a little

580
00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:20,360
Speaker 6: bit of both. Probably more that they are very focused

581
00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:24,280
Speaker 6: on their careers and so they're not as focused necessarily

582
00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:26,880
Speaker 6: on getting married and having babies right away. I think

583
00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:30,320
Speaker 6: there is definitely a different mentality with some of the

584
00:27:30,359 --> 00:27:33,879
Speaker 6: millennials about their outlooks on marriage, and that's evolving and

585
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:37,800
Speaker 6: changing to the age at where women are having their

586
00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:41,720
Speaker 6: first baby is getting trending up in the United States

587
00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:42,400
Speaker 6: a little bit.

588
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:46,000
Speaker 3: So I'm thirty five, we have two kids, but if

589
00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:48,400
Speaker 3: we were to have another one and then we've had

590
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:52,920
Speaker 3: a handful of miscarriages, so our chances of having a

591
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:55,760
Speaker 3: miscarriage again would be significantly high, right because we've had

592
00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:59,080
Speaker 3: so many or and then also with my age in

593
00:27:59,119 --> 00:27:59,520
Speaker 3: to with.

594
00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:02,720
Speaker 6: That, so all those things can contribute to that. So

595
00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:05,479
Speaker 6: your age is probably actually the most important predictor in

596
00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:10,840
Speaker 6: terms of having a miscarriage, yes, because as women get older,

597
00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:15,000
Speaker 6: they're embryos right, are more likely to be chromosomely abnormal.

598
00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:19,480
Speaker 6: Just means that the number of chromosomes is off, there's

599
00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:22,760
Speaker 6: either too many or too little, and so that happens

600
00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:26,359
Speaker 6: more commonly as you get older, and those chromosomal abnormalodies

601
00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:29,840
Speaker 6: account for seventy percent of miscarriages. So age is a

602
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:33,960
Speaker 6: huge predictor in terms of miscarriages. If you've had a

603
00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:36,639
Speaker 6: couple of miscarriages before, then you are a little bit

604
00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:40,040
Speaker 6: more likely to have another miscarriage. But even if you've

605
00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:42,760
Speaker 6: had two miscarriages in a row, the chance that when

606
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:44,280
Speaker 6: you get pregnant the next time that you're going to

607
00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:48,280
Speaker 6: have a baby is seventy percent. It's really high, and

608
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:51,400
Speaker 6: especially if in your situation where you've had losses and

609
00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:54,400
Speaker 6: then you've had pregnancies after, then it's even a little

610
00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:55,240
Speaker 6: bit higher.

611
00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:59,360
Speaker 3: Okay. I've had a lot of people talk about endometriosis.

612
00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:01,960
Speaker 3: They've always asked questions because because we have done two

613
00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:05,600
Speaker 3: rounds of IVF. So this was from Keisha. She said,

614
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:07,960
Speaker 3: I haven't started IVF yet, but I have been through

615
00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:10,920
Speaker 3: many cycles of medicines and three failed cycles of IUI,

616
00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:13,480
Speaker 3: do you have any tips on getting pregnant with endometriosis

617
00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:14,520
Speaker 3: before trying IVF?

618
00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:17,440
Speaker 6: Ermetriosis is tough?

619
00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:21,440
Speaker 3: What is that exactly? Because everyone I email them.

620
00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:23,480
Speaker 5: Like, yeah, what it is?

621
00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:24,160
Speaker 3: Okay?

622
00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:26,920
Speaker 6: So inside the theaters there's the cavity, right, and the

623
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:30,160
Speaker 6: cavity is where the baby grows, and it's this potential

624
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:33,560
Speaker 6: space and it has a lining, and so each month

625
00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:37,000
Speaker 6: when you're getting your period, you're shedding that lining. Okay,

626
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:39,800
Speaker 6: that makes sense, Yeah, okay, yeah, so we're following that.

627
00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:42,600
Speaker 6: So what happens for all women is that sometimes some

628
00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:45,760
Speaker 6: of those cells go backwards through the fallopian tubes and

629
00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:48,520
Speaker 6: then they land and they abdomell the cavity. Now what

630
00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:51,280
Speaker 6: happens if you don't have endometriosis is those cells just

631
00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:53,040
Speaker 6: recognize they're in the wrong place and they go away.

632
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:55,880
Speaker 6: But if you have a new metriosis, then for whatever reason,

633
00:29:56,240 --> 00:29:59,680
Speaker 6: they stick and they cause problems depending on where they

634
00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:02,720
Speaker 6: So if they land on the nerve fibers right behind

635
00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:05,240
Speaker 6: the uterus, then they cause women to have really bad pain,

636
00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:07,840
Speaker 6: and so that's one of the hallmark symptoms of endometriosis.

637
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:11,080
Speaker 6: If they land on the Filippian tubes, right, they can

638
00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:14,560
Speaker 6: cause scarring and block the Filippian tubes. They land on

639
00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:17,080
Speaker 6: the ovaries, they can actually get into the ovaries and

640
00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:20,160
Speaker 6: decrease the number of eggs right, and then all of

641
00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:24,160
Speaker 6: the cells that are there create this environment that's actually

642
00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:26,560
Speaker 6: not really great for the eggs, and so it can

643
00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:28,680
Speaker 6: decrease the quality of the eggs. So it can cause

644
00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:34,040
Speaker 6: many different problems. In terms of treatment for endometriosis, the

645
00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:38,120
Speaker 6: most common treatment is medications, but they're hormonal medications and

646
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:40,640
Speaker 6: they're not really compatible with trying to get pregnant at

647
00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:43,280
Speaker 6: the same time. So, for example, the first line treatment

648
00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:45,880
Speaker 6: is birth control pills. You can't take birth control pills,

649
00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:49,560
Speaker 6: you're trying to get pregnant, it doesn't work. So you

650
00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:52,680
Speaker 6: can do surgery, right, and we know from some studies

651
00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:55,960
Speaker 6: that doing surgery can improve your odds of getting pregnant.

652
00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:58,560
Speaker 6: But when you're doing surgeries, we have to operate on

653
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:02,040
Speaker 6: twelve women and treat they're endometriosis, where we basically go

654
00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:05,080
Speaker 6: in with surgery and burn all the little lesions right

655
00:31:05,200 --> 00:31:08,920
Speaker 6: that are there. You have to treat twelve women in

656
00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:12,040
Speaker 6: order to get one pregnancy. And so with the fertility

657
00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:15,840
Speaker 6: treatments that we have with intuterine inseminations and whether IVF,

658
00:31:16,080 --> 00:31:20,080
Speaker 6: we can replicate those successes without having to do surgery.

659
00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:23,320
Speaker 6: So most of the time now, unless there's another indication

660
00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:25,680
Speaker 6: to do surgery, if it's just that you're having a

661
00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:27,840
Speaker 6: hard time getting pregnant, most likely you're just going to

662
00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:30,320
Speaker 6: go to the fertility treatments and so there isn't anything

663
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:31,760
Speaker 6: extra that we can do.

664
00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:34,840
Speaker 3: How many women have endometriosis, like, is it one out

665
00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:35,920
Speaker 3: of what I.

666
00:31:35,840 --> 00:31:37,880
Speaker 6: Think it may be? Has eyes one out of ten? Wow,

667
00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:41,600
Speaker 6: it's really common. And so we think that for many

668
00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:45,040
Speaker 6: women who have unexplained infertility, which is a large proportion

669
00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:48,880
Speaker 6: that a lot of those women probably have endometriosis, it's

670
00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:50,000
Speaker 6: just undiagnosed.

671
00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:52,520
Speaker 3: Interesting, maybe I have.

672
00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:53,680
Speaker 2: That that down.

673
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:57,200
Speaker 7: Yea, my wife has endometrios. Oh yeah, and it's it's

674
00:31:57,200 --> 00:31:59,640
Speaker 7: been quite just getting diagnosed with it was a huge struggle.

675
00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:02,520
Speaker 7: She had problems with pain for a really long time

676
00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:04,920
Speaker 7: in all the doctors or like all have male doctors,

677
00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:06,680
Speaker 7: Like I don't know what the problem is.

678
00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:09,760
Speaker 8: And she finally got diagnosed and she had the surgery.

679
00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:12,840
Speaker 3: But so what does the surgery do. Did they take

680
00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:15,040
Speaker 3: away the it's beads?

681
00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:17,680
Speaker 6: I guess you can either little lesions they look like

682
00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:21,920
Speaker 6: little red or brown spots and you burn them, or

683
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:23,760
Speaker 6: you can excize them and to grab them out.

684
00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:26,680
Speaker 8: Yeah what what was it called? The something scopic?

685
00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:30,560
Speaker 7: Yeah, that's it anyway, But she has to have that

686
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:33,800
Speaker 7: surgery again, like she had it three years four years ago.

687
00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:35,479
Speaker 3: Why does she have to have it again because they

688
00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:35,960
Speaker 3: come back?

689
00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:38,560
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, it's a progressive disease. I mean, every time

690
00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:40,680
Speaker 6: you have your period, there's just more cells that are

691
00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:43,280
Speaker 6: floating back into the abdominal cavity. And so that's why

692
00:32:43,760 --> 00:32:47,040
Speaker 6: being on birth control, for example, can slow that process down.

693
00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:49,160
Speaker 6: So it can slow the progression of the disease, but

694
00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:51,880
Speaker 6: it can't eradicate it unfortunately.

695
00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:53,000
Speaker 3: So what are you guys gonna do then?

696
00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:53,080
Speaker 2: For?

697
00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:55,400
Speaker 3: For trying for baby? Is that something we've thought about

698
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:56,000
Speaker 3: IVF for?

699
00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:59,240
Speaker 8: I mean, we're we we haven't we haven't tried yet,

700
00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:02,240
Speaker 8: but we're preparing our We're just like when it happens

701
00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:04,719
Speaker 8: when we're trying, we're going to have to do that,

702
00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:06,520
Speaker 8: probably just because.

703
00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:10,360
Speaker 3: Of are the odds better for endometriosis couples to do

704
00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:13,720
Speaker 3: IVF versus trying to get pregnant on their own?

705
00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:16,320
Speaker 6: Yeah, well, a lot of women with endometriosis will actually

706
00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:18,280
Speaker 6: be able to get pregnant. So just because you have

707
00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:21,160
Speaker 6: enumeutrisis doesn't mean that you're going to have infertility. And

708
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:24,960
Speaker 6: the interesting thing about endometriosis is that how much disease

709
00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:28,880
Speaker 6: is in there is not necessarily predictive of how hard

710
00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:30,760
Speaker 6: or easy it's going to be to get pregnant.

711
00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:33,880
Speaker 3: Okay, so this is thank you by the way for

712
00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:35,880
Speaker 3: being here. I want to get to some more emails.

713
00:33:35,920 --> 00:33:38,480
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732
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733
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734
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735
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741
00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:54,440
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742
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743
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748
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749
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750
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751
00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:24,000
Speaker 2: So this emails from Mollie and so why am I

752
00:35:24,040 --> 00:35:27,000
Speaker 2: not ovulating? I am twenty six and I went off

753
00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:29,239
Speaker 2: birth control two years ago and my cycle was non

754
00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:32,719
Speaker 2: existent until about March. She put me on Privera and

755
00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:35,560
Speaker 2: discovered I was not ovulating. She then put me on

756
00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:39,759
Speaker 2: Privera and Klomid for three cycles, no success. She told

757
00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:41,640
Speaker 2: me there's nothing more she can do for me and

758
00:35:41,719 --> 00:35:45,120
Speaker 2: that I need to go to a fertility specialist. Excuse me,

759
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:48,200
Speaker 2: I was wondering what your thoughts were and what the

760
00:35:48,239 --> 00:35:49,160
Speaker 2: next steps are to take.

761
00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:53,600
Speaker 6: So for her, she's just not ovulating at all. Correct

762
00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:56,680
Speaker 6: doesn't say why. I mean, you need to try and

763
00:35:56,719 --> 00:35:59,120
Speaker 6: figure out why. So I'm sure her doctor did that.

764
00:35:59,160 --> 00:36:03,800
Speaker 6: There are some hormonal imbalances that can cause problems with ovulation.

765
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:07,000
Speaker 6: The most common reason why women don't ovulate is something

766
00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:08,760
Speaker 6: called polycystic ovarian syndrome.

767
00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:11,719
Speaker 3: Oh that's another sing Yeah, that's that was a few

768
00:36:11,719 --> 00:36:14,160
Speaker 3: other questions in here too, is the piece? Yeah what

769
00:36:14,280 --> 00:36:15,080
Speaker 3: is that? Also?

770
00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:17,759
Speaker 6: Really common? About one in ten women have it, and

771
00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:20,200
Speaker 6: it's becoming more and more more and more of a

772
00:36:20,239 --> 00:36:24,960
Speaker 6: problem as the average and ways of American women goes

773
00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:26,680
Speaker 6: up because it can be weight related.

774
00:36:27,280 --> 00:36:28,640
Speaker 5: Oh, is that what causes it?

775
00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:31,200
Speaker 6: Not all the time. So PCUS is kind of the

776
00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:34,200
Speaker 6: syndrome and where like the end result is that you

777
00:36:34,239 --> 00:36:38,439
Speaker 6: don't have regular periods, And there's also hormonal imbalances where

778
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:41,560
Speaker 6: you just kind of have like higher balance of testosterone

779
00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:44,239
Speaker 6: versus estrogens. Just the easiest way to think about it.

780
00:36:44,880 --> 00:36:47,880
Speaker 6: Some women are kind of born genetically with it, and

781
00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:51,440
Speaker 6: so they can be super thin, doesn't matter what their

782
00:36:51,440 --> 00:36:54,520
Speaker 6: weight is, they will always have PCOS. There are other

783
00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:58,120
Speaker 6: women that are maybe predisposed to having it, and it's

784
00:36:58,160 --> 00:37:00,560
Speaker 6: only when they gain weight that they have all of

785
00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:04,080
Speaker 6: these symptoms. And though for those women, and that's kind

786
00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:06,719
Speaker 6: of where the higher proportion of PCOS is right now

787
00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:10,319
Speaker 6: in this country. If they lose weight, all right, and

788
00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:12,600
Speaker 6: it can be very challenging to lose weight, but if

789
00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:15,040
Speaker 6: they lose weight, then their periods can go back and

790
00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:20,360
Speaker 6: become regular again. Yeah, and so for all of those women,

791
00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:23,759
Speaker 6: and in the end, whether you want to make sure

792
00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:25,799
Speaker 6: you tackle something if they have a thyroid problem or

793
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:28,799
Speaker 6: whatever that's throwing their periods out of whack, but the

794
00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:30,799
Speaker 6: end results is that you really have to give them

795
00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:33,839
Speaker 6: medication to help them ovulate, and Clonid is one of

796
00:37:33,880 --> 00:37:36,839
Speaker 6: them for women who have PCOS. It's actually not the

797
00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:40,680
Speaker 6: first line therapy anymore. There's another medication called let resol

798
00:37:40,760 --> 00:37:44,479
Speaker 6: that has now kind of supplanted. Clomid is the first

799
00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:48,320
Speaker 6: line therapy for pcos. Are those hormone is that hormone

800
00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:52,000
Speaker 6: there are, so both clomid and let resol work in

801
00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:54,960
Speaker 6: a way where they are kind of tricking the brain

802
00:37:55,120 --> 00:37:58,960
Speaker 6: to make this hormone that's called f SH focal stimulating hormone,

803
00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:01,319
Speaker 6: and that's the thing the brain sends down to the

804
00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:05,480
Speaker 6: ovary to make an egg grow. And so with PCOS,

805
00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:08,319
Speaker 6: it's just you know, they have the capability of doing that.

806
00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:10,160
Speaker 6: The signals are all just kind of messed up, like

807
00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:12,120
Speaker 6: the bringing and I always think it tell patients like

808
00:38:12,120 --> 00:38:14,279
Speaker 6: the brain and the ovaries are just not talking to

809
00:38:14,320 --> 00:38:15,920
Speaker 6: each other and they're not in sync, and so we

810
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:17,800
Speaker 6: just kind of need to sync them up so that

811
00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:19,720
Speaker 6: everything can work correctly.

812
00:38:20,280 --> 00:38:22,319
Speaker 3: This is just so hard because as I'm hearing all

813
00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:25,239
Speaker 3: this stuff, everything that us women have to go through

814
00:38:25,280 --> 00:38:26,880
Speaker 3: with our bodies, I know you guys go through a

815
00:38:26,880 --> 00:38:28,839
Speaker 3: lot too, babe. And I'm not saying that sarcastically at all.

816
00:38:28,880 --> 00:38:31,239
Speaker 3: I know you guys have you know, your stuff, But

817
00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:34,000
Speaker 3: when it comes to us having you know, trying to

818
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:36,440
Speaker 3: get pregnant and not being able to be pregnant, especially

819
00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:38,360
Speaker 3: when we want to be mom, like, that's so it's hard.

820
00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:40,880
Speaker 3: All these issues that could cause us not to be

821
00:38:40,920 --> 00:38:43,600
Speaker 3: a mom. It's just makes me really sad, and that's

822
00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:46,400
Speaker 3: what leads me kind of into this one from Amanda Shews.

823
00:38:46,440 --> 00:38:48,279
Speaker 3: I have a wonderful husband who loves our little girl

824
00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:51,040
Speaker 3: in a way that has exceeded every expectation I've had

825
00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:52,879
Speaker 3: of him as a dad, So we decide to try

826
00:38:52,880 --> 00:38:55,640
Speaker 3: for another baby. However, the first time around the test

827
00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:57,840
Speaker 3: was negative, then the second, and then the third. We

828
00:38:57,920 --> 00:39:00,400
Speaker 3: just got our six negative tests in a row. My

829
00:39:00,480 --> 00:39:02,759
Speaker 3: husband is so great and supportive, but even this last time,

830
00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:04,719
Speaker 3: you can tell it's starting to weigh on him. I'm

831
00:39:04,719 --> 00:39:06,759
Speaker 3: trying so hard to stay positive. I was hoping you

832
00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:08,480
Speaker 3: could talk about how to handle the situation and how

833
00:39:08,520 --> 00:39:10,440
Speaker 3: to deal with loss in your day to day life.

834
00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:13,399
Speaker 6: I think it's really hard for guys when they are

835
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:16,200
Speaker 6: going through this process. I think that many times they

836
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:20,359
Speaker 6: feel marginalized on the outside of it because I mean

837
00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:21,799
Speaker 6: not that they want to have all the tests that

838
00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:23,799
Speaker 6: we have to go through as women if we're having

839
00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:26,719
Speaker 6: fertility issues, but they're not going through all those tests,

840
00:39:26,719 --> 00:39:28,160
Speaker 6: and they're just kind of have to, you know, they

841
00:39:28,160 --> 00:39:30,040
Speaker 6: have to do their semen analysis and that's it. And

842
00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:31,960
Speaker 6: then the female has she has to get blood drawn

843
00:39:32,040 --> 00:39:36,520
Speaker 6: and X rays and ultracentjections, sections and all of that stuff,

844
00:39:36,560 --> 00:39:38,759
Speaker 6: and so they're kind of on the side a little bit.

845
00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:40,759
Speaker 6: I think that that can be really hard. And this

846
00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:44,319
Speaker 6: isn't really coming from where my medical training is, but

847
00:39:44,400 --> 00:39:46,359
Speaker 6: it's more just kind of what I observe is that

848
00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:49,080
Speaker 6: guys like to fix things and they can't fix it

849
00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:52,120
Speaker 6: for you, and that's a problem, and so I think

850
00:39:52,160 --> 00:39:55,719
Speaker 6: that it can be really helpful sometimes to kind of

851
00:39:55,719 --> 00:39:58,560
Speaker 6: bring them into the process and whatever way you think

852
00:39:58,640 --> 00:40:01,040
Speaker 6: it will help them to kind of cope with it

853
00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:03,600
Speaker 6: and help you. So they want to help you, So

854
00:40:03,680 --> 00:40:05,640
Speaker 6: if you can find a little thing that they can

855
00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:07,759
Speaker 6: do that can help you, and whether that's giving you

856
00:40:07,800 --> 00:40:11,879
Speaker 6: a massage every night, or doing your injections or mixing them,

857
00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:14,040
Speaker 6: or holding your hand when you're doing your injections if

858
00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:16,799
Speaker 6: you're going through IVF, just involving them in some way

859
00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:20,120
Speaker 6: I think is really helpful. I think that guys deal

860
00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:24,000
Speaker 6: with stress and grief in very different ways than women,

861
00:40:24,120 --> 00:40:26,319
Speaker 6: and I think we have to respect that. And they

862
00:40:26,360 --> 00:40:29,719
Speaker 6: may not want to emote and articulate how sad they

863
00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:32,040
Speaker 6: are to you or even to their friends, but maybe

864
00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:34,080
Speaker 6: they just need to spend time with their friends and

865
00:40:34,120 --> 00:40:37,080
Speaker 6: so allowing them to have that space and get the

866
00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:39,319
Speaker 6: support whatever it is that they need.

867
00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:44,440
Speaker 2: That's that's fantastic advice. And just speaking from a guid perspective,

868
00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:50,040
Speaker 2: if like Janner came to has done this before. We

869
00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:54,000
Speaker 2: had our son Jas and we suffered from miscarriage, and

870
00:40:54,320 --> 00:40:56,280
Speaker 2: you know, she asked me like how I was feeling,

871
00:40:56,880 --> 00:41:00,200
Speaker 2: And not only does that allow me to not feel alone,

872
00:41:00,239 --> 00:41:02,440
Speaker 2: like I just have to be strong and not let

873
00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:05,279
Speaker 2: anything affect me, but in turn it helped her because

874
00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:07,400
Speaker 2: then she doesn't feel like she's the only one with

875
00:41:07,480 --> 00:41:10,520
Speaker 2: those feelings and those emotions. And so that just that

876
00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:14,640
Speaker 2: simple question hearing from Jana, I mean, did wonders for

877
00:41:14,760 --> 00:41:17,799
Speaker 2: us in our relationship moving forward? So we feel like

878
00:41:17,880 --> 00:41:21,319
Speaker 2: eighteen because it is unfortunately you know, you all have

879
00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:24,120
Speaker 2: to go through the more physical aspect of it. But

880
00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:26,520
Speaker 2: you know when you have a loss, we have a

881
00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:28,719
Speaker 2: loss too, and that kind of gets lost in translation

882
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:29,319
Speaker 2: a lot of time.

883
00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:31,919
Speaker 3: So I think it's because we feel like it's our body,

884
00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:33,960
Speaker 3: it's our fault, and that's how I always felt. It

885
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:37,239
Speaker 3: was my fault and I let him down again and

886
00:41:36,719 --> 00:41:39,160
Speaker 3: I'm not a good enough wife or a good enough

887
00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:44,160
Speaker 3: mother and not my body isn't good enough to birth

888
00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:46,080
Speaker 3: a baby and to hold the baby, because I'm like,

889
00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:48,360
Speaker 3: why can't I hold a child? Why do I keep losing?

890
00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:51,320
Speaker 3: So I think we just put all that stress on ourselves.

891
00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:53,960
Speaker 6: Which it's always I think it's always hard for the

892
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:58,200
Speaker 6: person who maybe has the bigger issue, and it's hard

893
00:41:58,200 --> 00:42:01,240
Speaker 6: for everybody, but it's just a different type of hard.

894
00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:04,480
Speaker 3: What amount of stress do you really think plays into

895
00:42:04,840 --> 00:42:08,600
Speaker 3: not conceiving? Because I've had so many doctors and you know,

896
00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:11,400
Speaker 3: the fertility doctors, to my g onecologists saying and to

897
00:42:11,560 --> 00:42:13,719
Speaker 3: family and friends, and I'd say this to people, say like,

898
00:42:13,760 --> 00:42:16,640
Speaker 3: don't stress, it's gonna happen. But it's hard not to stress.

899
00:42:16,680 --> 00:42:19,800
Speaker 3: So is stress I mean, is it can that really

900
00:42:19,840 --> 00:42:20,840
Speaker 3: cause a miscarriage?

901
00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:25,279
Speaker 6: No, so stress can't. It can't cause a miscarriage, but

902
00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:26,720
Speaker 6: it plays a role.

903
00:42:27,239 --> 00:42:27,919
Speaker 3: It's still there.

904
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:29,000
Speaker 5: It's a little role.

905
00:42:29,120 --> 00:42:32,279
Speaker 6: It's not maybe as big as age, but it's there.

906
00:42:33,120 --> 00:42:35,680
Speaker 6: And so I think that's important to the extent that

907
00:42:35,719 --> 00:42:38,520
Speaker 6: you can do anything to manage your stress during an

908
00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:41,839
Speaker 6: IVF cycle. I have patients that feel like, sometimes, oh,

909
00:42:41,880 --> 00:42:44,880
Speaker 6: I have to take herbs and acupuncture whatever, and I said, okay, well,

910
00:42:44,920 --> 00:42:46,799
Speaker 6: if that makes you feel good, we think it could

911
00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:49,080
Speaker 6: potentially be helpful. But if it's stressing you out to

912
00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:51,640
Speaker 6: get to all those acupuncture appointments, then maybe it's not

913
00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:55,440
Speaker 6: worth it. But you know, people are stressed all the

914
00:42:55,520 --> 00:42:57,920
Speaker 6: time and they get pregnant. I mean, every patient that

915
00:42:57,960 --> 00:42:59,680
Speaker 6: walks in my office who's not able to have a

916
00:42:59,680 --> 00:43:01,640
Speaker 6: baby wants to Maybe they're stressed.

917
00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:05,800
Speaker 3: Okay, So we actually have a wind down listener online

918
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:10,080
Speaker 3: with us right now. Caitlin. Hey, hey, Caitlyn, So you

919
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:13,000
Speaker 3: got the wind Down crew and a specialist because we're

920
00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:17,160
Speaker 3: we're not the specialist, but doctor Kristen wants to help you.

921
00:43:17,239 --> 00:43:20,080
Speaker 3: So could you tell her what's going on and then

922
00:43:20,320 --> 00:43:22,200
Speaker 3: hopefully we can give you some good insight.

923
00:43:23,239 --> 00:43:23,640
Speaker 4: Sure.

924
00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:24,160
Speaker 3: Yeah.

925
00:43:24,440 --> 00:43:28,359
Speaker 4: My husband and I we had a child seven years

926
00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:33,360
Speaker 4: ago together and we were very young and we weren't married,

927
00:43:33,520 --> 00:43:36,520
Speaker 4: and so we wanted to wait until we were married

928
00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:40,200
Speaker 4: to have our second. So we waited about four and

929
00:43:40,239 --> 00:43:42,520
Speaker 4: a half years to start trying again after we had

930
00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:46,279
Speaker 4: actually gotten married, and we went on our honeymoon and

931
00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:50,080
Speaker 4: we came back and so we started to try and

932
00:43:50,200 --> 00:43:52,440
Speaker 4: it has been about two years and we have not

933
00:43:52,600 --> 00:43:55,760
Speaker 4: had any luck, and it's gotten to the point where,

934
00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:58,520
Speaker 4: you know, it's a little bit frustrating, and we've tried

935
00:43:58,600 --> 00:44:04,880
Speaker 4: the natural way, and recently I was prescribed a drug

936
00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:08,640
Speaker 4: called clomid that's supposed to help you with your ovulation

937
00:44:08,840 --> 00:44:12,560
Speaker 4: to conceive, and currently I am doing that now. But

938
00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:17,319
Speaker 4: I've just had a few questions for doctor Kristen specifically,

939
00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:21,680
Speaker 4: at what point during me trying to conceive process should

940
00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:23,040
Speaker 4: IVF become an option.

941
00:44:24,480 --> 00:44:28,719
Speaker 6: So if you isn't working on your own, typically the

942
00:44:28,719 --> 00:44:31,600
Speaker 6: most common form of kind of like a lesser treatment

943
00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:34,719
Speaker 6: than IVF is doing clomid, which is what you're on,

944
00:44:34,960 --> 00:44:37,560
Speaker 6: and the goal of clomid is to make you ovulate

945
00:44:38,040 --> 00:44:41,840
Speaker 6: two or three eggs instead of just one. The clomid

946
00:44:41,880 --> 00:44:44,640
Speaker 6: really should be coupled with an insemination, which is where

947
00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:46,600
Speaker 6: we get the sperm sample from the guy get the

948
00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:48,600
Speaker 6: best sperm, we place it at the top of the uterus,

949
00:44:48,600 --> 00:44:50,399
Speaker 6: so it's much closer to where the egg is going

950
00:44:50,440 --> 00:44:55,759
Speaker 6: to be. If clomid iuis haven't worked in three cycles,

951
00:44:55,840 --> 00:44:58,319
Speaker 6: the chance that they're going to be effective for you

952
00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:01,640
Speaker 6: is actually really low, and so at that point you're

953
00:45:01,760 --> 00:45:03,960
Speaker 6: better off just saving your money. For IVF and just

954
00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:06,960
Speaker 6: continuing to try to get pregnant on your own. In

955
00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:11,279
Speaker 6: terms of thinking about IVF and understanding how useful it

956
00:45:11,360 --> 00:45:14,120
Speaker 6: might be for you, there are kind of two main

957
00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:17,000
Speaker 6: things that really contribute to the success of IVF, and

958
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:20,719
Speaker 6: that's the quality of the eggs that you're going to have,

959
00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:22,840
Speaker 6: which is related to your age. And then also the

960
00:45:22,920 --> 00:45:25,440
Speaker 6: number of eggs and the number of eggs that you're

961
00:45:25,440 --> 00:45:27,480
Speaker 6: going to get in an IVF cycle that can be

962
00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:31,879
Speaker 6: predicted by some simple tests that your doctor can do.

963
00:45:32,040 --> 00:45:34,359
Speaker 6: So they can do an ultrasound and look at something

964
00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:38,080
Speaker 6: called the anthrofolical count, and that's counting the number of

965
00:45:38,080 --> 00:45:40,320
Speaker 6: eggs they think that are available in any given month.

966
00:45:40,719 --> 00:45:43,320
Speaker 6: And then also understanding some of your hormone tests. So

967
00:45:43,360 --> 00:45:45,520
Speaker 6: there are these two tests called AMH and FSH and

968
00:45:45,560 --> 00:45:48,040
Speaker 6: those are predictors of how well your ovaries are functioning.

969
00:45:48,360 --> 00:45:51,200
Speaker 6: And so if we give you medications, what proportion of

970
00:45:51,200 --> 00:45:52,720
Speaker 6: those eggs are going to grow. So if you're starting

971
00:45:52,760 --> 00:45:54,839
Speaker 6: out with ten eggs, or you're going to get nine

972
00:45:54,840 --> 00:45:56,560
Speaker 6: to ten eggs and an IVF cycle, or you're going

973
00:45:56,600 --> 00:45:59,920
Speaker 6: to get closer to only five, and so understanding the

974
00:46:00,120 --> 00:46:03,280
Speaker 6: number of eggs that you individually might make in a cycle,

975
00:46:03,400 --> 00:46:06,520
Speaker 6: and how old you are, and so therefore the chance

976
00:46:06,560 --> 00:46:08,160
Speaker 6: that that egg is going to become an embryo and

977
00:46:08,200 --> 00:46:11,640
Speaker 6: become a baby, that is really important in understanding how

978
00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:13,520
Speaker 6: useful IVF will be for you.

979
00:46:14,640 --> 00:46:18,439
Speaker 4: Okay, Okay, So there's not really a set timeframe as

980
00:46:18,440 --> 00:46:21,279
Speaker 4: to where a couple should really consider it.

981
00:46:22,400 --> 00:46:25,719
Speaker 6: Well, if you've done three cycles of the clomid with

982
00:46:26,600 --> 00:46:30,560
Speaker 6: the iuys, then the chance that that clomid IUI is

983
00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:33,640
Speaker 6: going to be effective is actually the same as if

984
00:46:33,680 --> 00:46:36,560
Speaker 6: you're just having sex at home around ovulation and so

985
00:46:37,320 --> 00:46:40,279
Speaker 6: really maxing out at three cycles, and this is for

986
00:46:40,360 --> 00:46:42,279
Speaker 6: women who are already ovulating and we're just trying to

987
00:46:42,280 --> 00:46:44,799
Speaker 6: make them ovulate more eggs. So maxing out at three

988
00:46:44,840 --> 00:46:46,920
Speaker 6: cycles is really the point where you should move to IVF.

989
00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:52,400
Speaker 3: And she was also saying to Caitlin timing wise to

990
00:46:52,719 --> 00:46:56,560
Speaker 3: try to get the embryos and eggs before you're thirty five, right,

991
00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:57,240
Speaker 3: doctor Kristen.

992
00:46:58,040 --> 00:47:00,279
Speaker 6: Yeah, So if you're certainly if your egg freezing or

993
00:47:00,280 --> 00:47:03,279
Speaker 6: embryo freezing, I have more couples that they themselves are

994
00:47:03,280 --> 00:47:05,279
Speaker 6: not ready to actually have children, but they want to

995
00:47:05,320 --> 00:47:07,319
Speaker 6: be proactive and make sure that it can happen in

996
00:47:07,360 --> 00:47:10,920
Speaker 6: the future, and so couples can come in and freeze embryos,

997
00:47:11,040 --> 00:47:14,520
Speaker 6: or if you are young and you haven't met a

998
00:47:14,600 --> 00:47:16,560
Speaker 6: right partner and you're a woman and you want to

999
00:47:16,560 --> 00:47:19,200
Speaker 6: preserve your ability to get pregnant, coming in and freezing eggs,

1000
00:47:19,760 --> 00:47:21,960
Speaker 6: doing that before the age of thirty five is ideal.

1001
00:47:22,040 --> 00:47:23,840
Speaker 6: But I have lots of women that are thirty eight,

1002
00:47:23,880 --> 00:47:25,600
Speaker 6: thirty nine and they haven't met the right guy and

1003
00:47:25,920 --> 00:47:27,960
Speaker 6: they just didn't think about freezing eggs before when they

1004
00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:29,879
Speaker 6: were younger, and so they're still coming in. It still

1005
00:47:30,040 --> 00:47:33,000
Speaker 6: can be useful. They may not have the same chance

1006
00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:34,920
Speaker 6: of success as someone who's doing it thirty two, but

1007
00:47:34,960 --> 00:47:38,360
Speaker 6: it's still useful, right, Yeah, that makes sense.

1008
00:47:39,880 --> 00:47:41,320
Speaker 4: Well, it helpful information.

1009
00:47:41,560 --> 00:47:46,359
Speaker 3: We're praying for you, guys, and we're all here for

1010
00:47:46,400 --> 00:47:48,600
Speaker 3: you if you know through it, because I've been through

1011
00:47:48,600 --> 00:47:50,839
Speaker 3: it and it's not fun. But at the same time,

1012
00:47:51,040 --> 00:47:54,080
Speaker 3: there's always how do I say it, like it's such

1013
00:47:54,120 --> 00:47:58,439
Speaker 3: a hard thing to say, There's always a possibility, yeah,

1014
00:47:58,440 --> 00:48:00,799
Speaker 3: because it's just in that moment. I remember watching our

1015
00:48:00,840 --> 00:48:03,040
Speaker 3: IVF when it failed, the videos that I took, and

1016
00:48:03,160 --> 00:48:05,480
Speaker 3: just like how destroyed I was. But then you know,

1017
00:48:05,600 --> 00:48:09,120
Speaker 3: eight months later, I'm holding our son, so sure.

1018
00:48:09,320 --> 00:48:09,480
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1019
00:48:09,560 --> 00:48:12,279
Speaker 4: I mean, it's it's tough to remain hopeful, I think

1020
00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:16,520
Speaker 4: with each passing month when you know you're you're hoping

1021
00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:19,520
Speaker 4: that it worked or that it took and of course

1022
00:48:19,520 --> 00:48:21,839
Speaker 4: you start your period and then it's here we go again,

1023
00:48:21,920 --> 00:48:22,840
Speaker 4: we start all over.

1024
00:48:22,840 --> 00:48:25,959
Speaker 3: So and a month seems like forever it does.

1025
00:48:26,239 --> 00:48:28,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, and so it feels like it's been a really

1026
00:48:28,680 --> 00:48:31,759
Speaker 4: long waiting game for the last twenty four months. And

1027
00:48:31,840 --> 00:48:34,279
Speaker 4: it's rough too when you know you're on social media

1028
00:48:34,320 --> 00:48:38,240
Speaker 4: and everyone you know or follow happened to be pregnant

1029
00:48:38,360 --> 00:48:41,880
Speaker 4: or is getting pregnant, and it seems so easy, and

1030
00:48:41,920 --> 00:48:44,960
Speaker 4: it's frustrating when you know you're doing everything that they

1031
00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:47,560
Speaker 4: say you should be doing, it's just not it's not working.

1032
00:48:48,040 --> 00:48:51,240
Speaker 6: And know that you're not alone, right, I mean, there's

1033
00:48:51,600 --> 00:48:54,040
Speaker 6: thousands of women and couples that are out there just

1034
00:48:54,080 --> 00:48:56,880
Speaker 6: like you that are going through similar circumstances. They're just

1035
00:48:56,920 --> 00:49:01,440
Speaker 6: not posting it on Instagram necessarily, and so you're not alone.

1036
00:49:01,680 --> 00:49:03,360
Speaker 3: And hang in there, And will.

1037
00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:07,120
Speaker 4: You please keep us posted to Yes, absolutely, and will

1038
00:49:08,400 --> 00:49:10,600
Speaker 4: thank you guys for the information. I really appreciate it.

1039
00:49:10,680 --> 00:49:12,120
Speaker 3: Of course, thanks Caitlin for listening.

1040
00:49:13,200 --> 00:49:14,879
Speaker 4: Okay, have a good one. Bye bye, guys.

1041
00:49:15,960 --> 00:49:19,399
Speaker 5: How many IVF cycles can you both through?

1042
00:49:20,840 --> 00:49:25,440
Speaker 6: There isn't a number, but we know that, you know,

1043
00:49:25,560 --> 00:49:27,840
Speaker 6: especially when you're older. Let's say you're forty two and

1044
00:49:27,880 --> 00:49:30,480
Speaker 6: you're going through IVF, it's not going to necessarily work

1045
00:49:30,520 --> 00:49:32,399
Speaker 6: the first time. And in fact, there are actually pretty

1046
00:49:32,440 --> 00:49:34,800
Speaker 6: good studies that show you can do it five times

1047
00:49:34,800 --> 00:49:37,399
Speaker 6: and your chances of getting pregnant are the same. It's

1048
00:49:37,480 --> 00:49:41,120
Speaker 6: just that it's a lower likelihood that it's going to help.

1049
00:49:41,360 --> 00:49:44,040
Speaker 6: I mean, IVF doesn't make your eggs better. We just

1050
00:49:44,080 --> 00:49:46,799
Speaker 6: improve your odds of getting pregnant by making you make

1051
00:49:46,840 --> 00:49:48,759
Speaker 6: more in the hopes that there's a normal one in

1052
00:49:48,800 --> 00:49:51,279
Speaker 6: there and then optimizing the chance that egg is going

1053
00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:53,920
Speaker 6: to get fertilized by a sperm. And so we're improving

1054
00:49:53,920 --> 00:49:56,520
Speaker 6: your odds of getting pregnant. But with one IVF cycles

1055
00:49:56,560 --> 00:49:58,360
Speaker 6: sometimes it's just not enough and you have to do

1056
00:49:58,400 --> 00:49:59,360
Speaker 6: it a couple of times.

1057
00:50:00,440 --> 00:50:02,920
Speaker 3: Well, doctor Kristen, where can our listeners find you, especially

1058
00:50:02,920 --> 00:50:04,000
Speaker 3: if they're in the LA area.

1059
00:50:04,440 --> 00:50:08,080
Speaker 6: Well, I work at usc SOO. Usc fertility dot Org

1060
00:50:08,239 --> 00:50:11,920
Speaker 6: is our website. I'm also on social media. So I

1061
00:50:11,920 --> 00:50:15,640
Speaker 6: have my own website at doctor Kristen Benison dot org.

1062
00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:19,920
Speaker 6: And I'm on Instagram and what's your Instagram Mandel, doctor

1063
00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:20,720
Speaker 6: Kristin Bendison.

1064
00:50:20,880 --> 00:50:26,480
Speaker 3: Okay, perfect, thank you so much. Okay, So, now that

1065
00:50:26,560 --> 00:50:30,480
Speaker 3: I don't have a baby anymore, my periods have officially

1066
00:50:30,480 --> 00:50:33,600
Speaker 3: come back, and so I'm a big advocate for Lola.

1067
00:50:33,760 --> 00:50:35,840
Speaker 3: So what I love about Lola is that there are

1068
00:50:35,880 --> 00:50:39,000
Speaker 3: one hundred percent natural and it's just easy to feel

1069
00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:42,840
Speaker 3: good about. There's no but yes, there's no mystery fibers

1070
00:50:42,960 --> 00:50:46,760
Speaker 3: or even doubt about what's going into your body. What's

1071
00:50:46,880 --> 00:50:49,400
Speaker 3: really great about it too is Lola would deliver exactly

1072
00:50:49,440 --> 00:50:52,560
Speaker 3: what you need, exactly when you need it. So for me,

1073
00:50:52,680 --> 00:50:55,000
Speaker 3: I always know now when my period's coming because Lola

1074
00:50:55,040 --> 00:50:57,160
Speaker 3: shows up at my door. And the great thing too

1075
00:50:57,320 --> 00:51:00,480
Speaker 3: is that you're able to customize your order, so sometimes

1076
00:51:00,520 --> 00:51:02,680
Speaker 3: I don't need all the supers or the regulars. I mean,

1077
00:51:02,719 --> 00:51:05,760
Speaker 3: you can one hundred percent customize it to however your

1078
00:51:06,120 --> 00:51:11,240
Speaker 3: period is. They have pads as well, cotton tampons, pads, liners,

1079
00:51:11,280 --> 00:51:15,520
Speaker 3: and all natural cleansing wipes. I love my Lola again.

1080
00:51:15,600 --> 00:51:18,480
Speaker 3: It's delivered right to my door in a very discrete box,

1081
00:51:19,320 --> 00:51:23,040
Speaker 3: so that's always nice. They're one hundred percent organic cotton

1082
00:51:23,160 --> 00:51:26,920
Speaker 3: BPA free Tampa and Apple Players leaves me worry free

1083
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:29,640
Speaker 3: about what I'm putting in my body. For forty percent

1084
00:51:29,640 --> 00:51:32,800
Speaker 3: off all subscriptions, visit mylola dot com and entered Jana

1085
00:51:32,960 --> 00:51:33,960
Speaker 3: when you subscribe.

1086
00:51:35,360 --> 00:51:39,000
Speaker 1: I have some emails here, but Jena's mid apple right now.

1087
00:51:39,880 --> 00:51:41,520
Speaker 3: Apples kind of give me trauma, by the way, because

1088
00:51:41,560 --> 00:51:45,040
Speaker 3: my dad, you can, always chew apples really aggressively and

1089
00:51:45,120 --> 00:51:50,719
Speaker 3: heats smack you know, like smackers anyways, so I get traumatized.

1090
00:51:51,200 --> 00:51:54,239
Speaker 1: My dad eats apple whole. There is no core. When

1091
00:51:54,280 --> 00:51:55,400
Speaker 1: my dad finishes an apple.

1092
00:51:55,640 --> 00:51:58,040
Speaker 5: Oh, he eats the steeds.

1093
00:51:58,600 --> 00:52:00,440
Speaker 1: He will remove the stem before you it's it, but

1094
00:52:00,480 --> 00:52:01,719
Speaker 1: otherwise it's all going down.

1095
00:52:02,680 --> 00:52:03,799
Speaker 3: Oh that's disgusting.

1096
00:52:05,080 --> 00:52:08,759
Speaker 1: I love that it's a convenience thing because if my

1097
00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:10,400
Speaker 1: dad's on the couch eating the applay, he doesn't want

1098
00:52:10,400 --> 00:52:11,399
Speaker 1: to have to get up and go to the trash

1099
00:52:11,400 --> 00:52:13,080
Speaker 1: that throws coor away, so it just eats the whole

1100
00:52:13,080 --> 00:52:13,839
Speaker 1: thing or drive.

1101
00:52:13,960 --> 00:52:15,080
Speaker 2: That's such like an old man.

1102
00:52:15,360 --> 00:52:18,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, I'm just curious, now that we're on the

1103
00:52:18,560 --> 00:52:20,919
Speaker 3: apple topic, is are you a throw the apple out

1104
00:52:20,920 --> 00:52:23,160
Speaker 3: the window when you're driving, or keep it in your car.

1105
00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:25,239
Speaker 1: I keep it in my car. I used to be

1106
00:52:25,320 --> 00:52:27,160
Speaker 1: a thrower, but I feel weird about it.

1107
00:52:27,200 --> 00:52:29,160
Speaker 3: I'm in my car. Why not you're gonna you're feeding

1108
00:52:29,200 --> 00:52:30,840
Speaker 3: the animals. And then people say, well, the animals are

1109
00:52:30,880 --> 00:52:31,839
Speaker 3: gonna go in the middle of the road and they

1110
00:52:31,840 --> 00:52:33,839
Speaker 3: get hit by a car. But I throw it all

1111
00:52:33,880 --> 00:52:35,399
Speaker 3: the way to the side of the road.

1112
00:52:35,680 --> 00:52:38,239
Speaker 2: What's funny about you? And saying that though for the

1113
00:52:38,280 --> 00:52:41,200
Speaker 2: longest time, she'd have the worst luck throwing an apple

1114
00:52:41,200 --> 00:52:43,960
Speaker 2: core out the window. It could be a green passion,

1115
00:52:44,120 --> 00:52:47,240
Speaker 2: nothing in sight, baby, But when she throws it out, bim,

1116
00:52:47,239 --> 00:52:49,800
Speaker 2: it hits that one sign that's there for ten miles

1117
00:52:50,239 --> 00:52:53,080
Speaker 2: and it bounces back onto the road like there's a

1118
00:52:53,080 --> 00:52:55,279
Speaker 2: period of time where it just happened. Every time.

1119
00:52:55,400 --> 00:52:56,200
Speaker 1: It was amazing.

1120
00:52:56,480 --> 00:52:56,960
Speaker 4: Illegal.

1121
00:52:57,520 --> 00:53:01,040
Speaker 3: It's it's illegal to throw composed.

1122
00:53:02,560 --> 00:53:03,399
Speaker 2: It decomposes.

1123
00:53:03,760 --> 00:53:05,120
Speaker 7: The only thing you can throw out of a car

1124
00:53:05,200 --> 00:53:07,920
Speaker 7: is water and chicken feathers. That's the only two legal substances.

1125
00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:08,719
Speaker 1: I have heard that.

1126
00:53:08,960 --> 00:53:13,240
Speaker 5: Yeah, chicken feathers outside of a window.

1127
00:53:13,560 --> 00:53:15,160
Speaker 8: Farmers transporting chickens.

1128
00:53:15,680 --> 00:53:17,920
Speaker 3: Wait, I'm sorry, I don't understand why it's illegal to

1129
00:53:17,920 --> 00:53:21,480
Speaker 3: throw food out the window because it's not glittering.

1130
00:53:21,680 --> 00:53:23,680
Speaker 2: All right, there's one thing you said about food, like

1131
00:53:23,719 --> 00:53:26,200
Speaker 2: you can't be thrown out like your half eat McDonald

1132
00:53:26,320 --> 00:53:26,600
Speaker 2: and like.

1133
00:53:26,760 --> 00:53:29,280
Speaker 1: That biodegrada if it doesn't are considered litter.

1134
00:53:30,560 --> 00:53:35,160
Speaker 5: WoT it all the time. You can't throw a gum, well.

1135
00:53:34,960 --> 00:53:37,560
Speaker 3: Gom, I get, because then that's that's that's sticking to

1136
00:53:37,640 --> 00:53:41,440
Speaker 3: the orange peelsy. I get anything that anything an animal

1137
00:53:41,440 --> 00:53:43,239
Speaker 3: can eat at throwout. So I would throw out the

1138
00:53:43,280 --> 00:53:46,200
Speaker 3: burger because that animal would love like a coyote.

1139
00:53:46,680 --> 00:53:51,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, sidewalks and it's all fine.

1140
00:53:52,000 --> 00:53:53,839
Speaker 3: No, I just eat like apples and bananas, So I

1141
00:53:53,880 --> 00:53:55,960
Speaker 3: just throw the oh no, oh shoot, I do do the.

1142
00:53:55,920 --> 00:53:59,759
Speaker 2: Peel my dad I used to put it in her

1143
00:53:59,760 --> 00:54:04,920
Speaker 2: calm the file because the decomposes, if becomes compost, that

1144
00:54:06,440 --> 00:54:08,640
Speaker 2: dead it comes from it comes from the earth.

1145
00:54:08,680 --> 00:54:10,960
Speaker 8: We're putting it back and then you throw it on

1146
00:54:10,960 --> 00:54:12,440
Speaker 8: the road. And you got a Mario Kart situation.

1147
00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:18,600
Speaker 3: You can't throw it on the road because I'm eating

1148
00:54:18,640 --> 00:54:23,160
Speaker 3: an apple right now. Fantastic. Well, I really do try

1149
00:54:23,280 --> 00:54:25,000
Speaker 3: to throw it so that they don't come back in

1150
00:54:25,080 --> 00:54:28,480
Speaker 3: the road, because I know that that's not nice. But AnyWho,

1151
00:54:28,560 --> 00:54:31,920
Speaker 3: if not, I'm I leave so much crap in my car. Okay, anyway,

1152
00:54:32,160 --> 00:54:32,839
Speaker 3: the dirty car.

1153
00:54:33,040 --> 00:54:36,520
Speaker 1: Okay, So what's they say that people dirty cars have

1154
00:54:36,520 --> 00:54:37,800
Speaker 1: clean houses and vice versa.

1155
00:54:38,480 --> 00:54:39,920
Speaker 3: Oh wait, say that one more time.

1156
00:54:39,960 --> 00:54:41,920
Speaker 1: If you have a dirty, dirty car, you have a

1157
00:54:41,960 --> 00:54:42,880
Speaker 1: tidy clean house.

1158
00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:44,399
Speaker 2: What about those of us who have.

1159
00:54:44,320 --> 00:54:51,200
Speaker 3: A clean car and cuse no, no, no, zero. You

1160
00:54:51,239 --> 00:54:53,520
Speaker 3: have all that crap by the side of the bed

1161
00:54:53,560 --> 00:54:57,279
Speaker 3: that you do not clean. That's something there that's not mine.

1162
00:54:57,320 --> 00:54:59,319
Speaker 3: Oh you know what's there? Time out? You know it's there,

1163
00:54:59,360 --> 00:55:02,040
Speaker 3: the intimacy that I've placed next to his bed. Yet

1164
00:55:02,080 --> 00:55:04,560
Speaker 3: he's still He left it outside for like three days,

1165
00:55:05,000 --> 00:55:08,399
Speaker 3: didn't even bring it in. Wow, all right, I guess

1166
00:55:08,480 --> 00:55:09,040
Speaker 3: that's staying out.

1167
00:55:09,560 --> 00:55:12,600
Speaker 2: We have the fifteen swaddles that you can like, not swaddles,

1168
00:55:12,600 --> 00:55:13,520
Speaker 2: but the carriers.

1169
00:55:13,600 --> 00:55:15,680
Speaker 3: Oh, the raps wraps he couldn't figure.

1170
00:55:15,400 --> 00:55:16,759
Speaker 2: Out, and you just left them on my side of

1171
00:55:16,760 --> 00:55:17,600
Speaker 2: the bed behind the door.

1172
00:55:17,760 --> 00:55:20,960
Speaker 5: I could never figure the wraps out, but I loved

1173
00:55:21,040 --> 00:55:24,759
Speaker 5: my baby Bjorn or whatever. The clip's great.

1174
00:55:24,600 --> 00:55:26,319
Speaker 3: Yes, that's we have that once.

1175
00:55:26,800 --> 00:55:28,520
Speaker 5: I never could figure out how to put the baby

1176
00:55:28,520 --> 00:55:29,520
Speaker 5: in and then tie.

1177
00:55:29,280 --> 00:55:31,359
Speaker 2: It and come on over. I'll teach you something.

1178
00:55:32,920 --> 00:55:35,280
Speaker 3: You don't even know need to know. Mark email.

1179
00:55:35,760 --> 00:55:37,799
Speaker 1: This is from Leanna. I'm a new list and love

1180
00:55:37,840 --> 00:55:42,080
Speaker 1: the podcast. That's very nice. Been married five years and

1181
00:55:42,239 --> 00:55:45,080
Speaker 1: haven't had a year without catching my husband cheating on me.

1182
00:55:45,239 --> 00:55:46,600
Speaker 2: Oh, let's bringing the mood down.

1183
00:55:46,760 --> 00:55:49,239
Speaker 1: He will go to counseling. And I've tried for years

1184
00:55:49,239 --> 00:55:50,719
Speaker 1: to make this work, and now that I'm at my

1185
00:55:50,760 --> 00:55:54,160
Speaker 1: breaking point, he finally wants to try. What should I do?

1186
00:55:54,440 --> 00:55:59,880
Speaker 1: No kids yet? Thanks Leanna, leave no kids yet? Thank god,

1187
00:56:00,400 --> 00:56:01,520
Speaker 1: that's your opportunity.

1188
00:56:01,960 --> 00:56:03,920
Speaker 3: The fact that he doesn't want to get help, but

1189
00:56:03,920 --> 00:56:07,640
Speaker 3: then he just finally did. I don't think it looks

1190
00:56:07,840 --> 00:56:09,759
Speaker 3: too bright for you. What I need think?

1191
00:56:10,120 --> 00:56:13,560
Speaker 5: Yeah, she needs to find somebody who respects her and

1192
00:56:13,840 --> 00:56:16,080
Speaker 5: is one hundred percent into the relationship.

1193
00:56:16,200 --> 00:56:19,239
Speaker 2: As soon as he gets comfortable, if she gives him

1194
00:56:19,239 --> 00:56:22,200
Speaker 2: another chance, as soon as he gets comfortable again, he's

1195
00:56:22,280 --> 00:56:25,000
Speaker 2: counted to it. If he's done every year for five years.

1196
00:56:25,239 --> 00:56:27,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, this girl that I was talking to, I talked

1197
00:56:27,680 --> 00:56:30,759
Speaker 3: to a few girls on my DM on Instagram and

1198
00:56:30,840 --> 00:56:33,520
Speaker 3: she's said the same thing, like, my husband just will

1199
00:56:33,560 --> 00:56:36,080
Speaker 3: not go to therapy and he keeps cheating and it's like, honey,

1200
00:56:36,200 --> 00:56:38,640
Speaker 3: like you, if you're doing the work, you're trying. But

1201
00:56:38,680 --> 00:56:40,399
Speaker 3: if he's not doing it, like you have to leave.

1202
00:56:40,840 --> 00:56:42,880
Speaker 5: Yeah, you have to because.

1203
00:56:42,480 --> 00:56:44,439
Speaker 3: He's going to keep doing it and he's not getting help.

1204
00:56:44,560 --> 00:56:50,160
Speaker 5: So that's and she's allowing yeah, because she's staying and saying, oh,

1205
00:56:50,200 --> 00:56:53,360
Speaker 5: you're not going to therapy. Okay, well you know it's.

1206
00:56:53,440 --> 00:56:55,960
Speaker 1: And she needs to look internally and figure out what

1207
00:56:56,040 --> 00:56:59,399
Speaker 1: it is about her self esteem and situation. Dad would

1208
00:56:59,440 --> 00:57:02,200
Speaker 1: allow this to happen to her over and over and

1209
00:57:02,239 --> 00:57:04,359
Speaker 1: over again. Isserve better.

1210
00:57:05,160 --> 00:57:07,200
Speaker 3: Yes, we all do that though, I mean, come on,

1211
00:57:08,320 --> 00:57:11,359
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. Yeah, we do well and

1212
00:57:11,440 --> 00:57:14,160
Speaker 3: we'll time out. Though, in the defense of this guy,

1213
00:57:14,160 --> 00:57:17,480
Speaker 3: maybe he needed that last swift kick in the butt

1214
00:57:17,520 --> 00:57:21,720
Speaker 3: like you did. But plain Devil's Advocate, you messed up

1215
00:57:21,720 --> 00:57:24,760
Speaker 3: a couple of times, you know so, and it was

1216
00:57:24,800 --> 00:57:27,000
Speaker 3: that last swift kick in the butt that puts you there.

1217
00:57:27,160 --> 00:57:29,360
Speaker 3: So maybe this guy needed that last swift kick.

1218
00:57:29,440 --> 00:57:32,120
Speaker 5: I'd like to dig a little deeper with Leanna and

1219
00:57:32,200 --> 00:57:37,520
Speaker 5: he husband to find out what's going on, because there's

1220
00:57:37,560 --> 00:57:41,160
Speaker 5: something deeper there. It's not just like this guy goes

1221
00:57:41,200 --> 00:57:41,920
Speaker 5: out and gets.

1222
00:57:41,880 --> 00:57:46,520
Speaker 3: Hey, Leanne, if you're listening. Email email Jana kramantiheartmedia dot

1223
00:57:46,520 --> 00:57:49,760
Speaker 3: com and we'll have you call in to dig a

1224
00:57:49,760 --> 00:57:51,880
Speaker 3: little deeper to see if there's another side to that,

1225
00:57:51,880 --> 00:57:53,880
Speaker 3: because I'm saying, like the guy side, maybe he just

1226
00:57:53,880 --> 00:57:56,160
Speaker 3: needed that last bit. Maybe he really is ready now.

1227
00:57:57,720 --> 00:57:59,760
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, obviously for me going through it, I

1228
00:57:59,760 --> 00:58:01,760
Speaker 2: want to be able to have the guys back and

1229
00:58:01,800 --> 00:58:05,640
Speaker 2: give him benefit of a doubt. But if every year

1230
00:58:05,680 --> 00:58:07,160
Speaker 2: for five years.

1231
00:58:07,000 --> 00:58:08,360
Speaker 3: That's yeah, that's right.

1232
00:58:09,040 --> 00:58:09,280
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1233
00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:12,840
Speaker 5: Also the history was he doing this when they were dating?

1234
00:58:13,040 --> 00:58:15,240
Speaker 3: Well exactly, we need to figure that out because it's

1235
00:58:15,320 --> 00:58:17,880
Speaker 3: dating them. Okay, you know, so I'm not right, but

1236
00:58:19,120 --> 00:58:21,040
Speaker 3: like Amy said, we need to get to the weeds

1237
00:58:21,040 --> 00:58:23,160
Speaker 3: of this land. Yep, give us a call.

1238
00:58:23,840 --> 00:58:26,680
Speaker 1: This is Danielle. She says, there's a topic I would

1239
00:58:26,720 --> 00:58:28,360
Speaker 1: like to see if you could discuss. I'm dealing with

1240
00:58:28,400 --> 00:58:31,400
Speaker 1: a very narcissistic mother in law and continue to be

1241
00:58:31,480 --> 00:58:35,439
Speaker 1: triggered by her toxic habits. That's quite a sentence right there.

1242
00:58:35,840 --> 00:58:37,440
Speaker 1: My husband and I've been trying to move on from

1243
00:58:37,440 --> 00:58:38,880
Speaker 1: it for quite some time, but we're always going in

1244
00:58:38,880 --> 00:58:41,760
Speaker 1: circles because she is his mom. She's very passive, aggressive

1245
00:58:41,760 --> 00:58:44,720
Speaker 1: and lashes out when we least expect it, for example,

1246
00:58:44,760 --> 00:58:47,120
Speaker 1: after our son was born at the hospital. I feel

1247
00:58:47,120 --> 00:58:48,920
Speaker 1: like this is a very common issue in many marriages.

1248
00:58:48,960 --> 00:58:50,880
Speaker 1: As his wife, I want to set boundaries, but I

1249
00:58:50,920 --> 00:58:52,320
Speaker 1: don't feel like he and I are truly on the

1250
00:58:52,360 --> 00:58:55,000
Speaker 1: same page when it comes to addressing the situation. I

1251
00:58:55,080 --> 00:58:56,959
Speaker 1: want to tackle it head on. He is a little

1252
00:58:56,960 --> 00:58:59,640
Speaker 1: more cautious than I am, and the advice would be helpful.

1253
00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:02,960
Speaker 1: Asked that swaddle story was so terrifying. Glad everything was

1254
00:59:03,000 --> 00:59:05,600
Speaker 1: okay and your mom's things set in Thank you for

1255
00:59:05,640 --> 00:59:07,080
Speaker 1: the podcast and the authenticity.

1256
00:59:07,200 --> 00:59:09,400
Speaker 3: Thanks Daniel John. Go ahead.

1257
00:59:10,080 --> 00:59:13,000
Speaker 5: I just I dealt with that for so many years,

1258
00:59:13,400 --> 00:59:21,840
Speaker 5: almost nineteen years, and I have never felt more free.

1259
00:59:21,480 --> 00:59:23,880
Speaker 3: Because you divorced him. Though I divorced him, but I'm

1260
00:59:23,920 --> 00:59:25,560
Speaker 3: seriously not to divorce him.

1261
00:59:25,800 --> 00:59:28,760
Speaker 5: No, I'm not saying that, but you when there is

1262
00:59:28,800 --> 00:59:32,760
Speaker 5: a narcissist in the family and the mother in law,

1263
00:59:34,440 --> 00:59:38,280
Speaker 5: it's you just you can't tackle it in any way

1264
00:59:39,040 --> 00:59:44,480
Speaker 5: except to put up your boundaries, which I took years, years,

1265
00:59:45,080 --> 00:59:46,640
Speaker 5: you know, for me to learn how to do that.

1266
00:59:47,760 --> 00:59:51,680
Speaker 5: But you aren't going to escape it. He's never going

1267
00:59:51,720 --> 00:59:54,640
Speaker 5: to be one hundred percent on your side because she's

1268
00:59:54,680 --> 01:00:01,080
Speaker 5: probably so manipulative that he's getting two stories. And he's

1269
01:00:01,240 --> 01:00:05,240
Speaker 5: always believed his mother as she's who cared for him.

1270
01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:11,400
Speaker 5: So you're never going to win. There is no I

1271
01:00:11,440 --> 01:00:13,080
Speaker 5: was going to say, there's no winner in this, but

1272
01:00:13,160 --> 01:00:16,600
Speaker 5: she's the winner. But if you do not give that

1273
01:00:16,800 --> 01:00:22,080
Speaker 5: the attention, and you cut the toxic energy off by

1274
01:00:23,000 --> 01:00:26,320
Speaker 5: don't go over there when she comes over to the house,

1275
01:00:27,480 --> 01:00:30,480
Speaker 5: have appointments, go to yoga, you're going to have to

1276
01:00:30,640 --> 01:00:34,120
Speaker 5: really not spend time with her. She is always going

1277
01:00:34,160 --> 01:00:34,880
Speaker 5: to feel that way.

1278
01:00:35,560 --> 01:00:35,760
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1279
01:00:35,840 --> 01:00:36,280
Speaker 5: Always.

1280
01:00:36,400 --> 01:00:38,080
Speaker 3: Our friend is kind of going through that. And you

1281
01:00:38,080 --> 01:00:40,680
Speaker 3: know they've been married for twenty is she twenty years?

1282
01:00:40,680 --> 01:00:44,880
Speaker 3: I think? And whereas she had to set massive boundaries

1283
01:00:44,920 --> 01:00:47,120
Speaker 3: around it. But it took a while for her husband

1284
01:00:47,160 --> 01:00:49,640
Speaker 3: to even see what the mom was doing because they're

1285
01:00:49,680 --> 01:00:52,360
Speaker 3: so blinded, like you said, by their mothers.

1286
01:00:52,880 --> 01:00:55,440
Speaker 2: It's that poor guy. I mean, you have the two

1287
01:00:55,480 --> 01:00:58,160
Speaker 2: most important women in your life pulling you two different directions.

1288
01:00:58,200 --> 01:01:00,360
Speaker 2: And it's like you said, Jay, I mean, there's been

1289
01:01:00,360 --> 01:01:02,120
Speaker 2: there his whole life. That's all he knows until he

1290
01:01:02,200 --> 01:01:02,920
Speaker 2: met his wife, right.

1291
01:01:03,000 --> 01:01:07,880
Speaker 5: So, and he's also programmed by her manipulation, right, because

1292
01:01:07,920 --> 01:01:13,160
Speaker 5: even your husband as a toddler was being manipulated because

1293
01:01:13,160 --> 01:01:18,000
Speaker 5: that's what narcissists do, so you know, it's so it's

1294
01:01:18,000 --> 01:01:18,840
Speaker 5: not his fault.

1295
01:01:19,040 --> 01:01:22,000
Speaker 2: No, if Danielle can have some empathy and look at

1296
01:01:22,000 --> 01:01:24,320
Speaker 2: it from that standpoint, be like, you know, this has

1297
01:01:24,320 --> 01:01:25,720
Speaker 2: to be hard that you feel like you're in the

1298
01:01:25,720 --> 01:01:28,760
Speaker 2: middle right and have to deal with this, like how

1299
01:01:28,760 --> 01:01:31,600
Speaker 2: can I help you? Instead of her being like you

1300
01:01:31,640 --> 01:01:33,280
Speaker 2: have to say no to your mother, we have to

1301
01:01:33,320 --> 01:01:35,800
Speaker 2: do this, being like, hey, how can I help you

1302
01:01:35,920 --> 01:01:39,320
Speaker 2: figure this out? What can we do? As opposed to attacking.

1303
01:01:39,560 --> 01:01:42,880
Speaker 3: I I'm kind of on two side this because before

1304
01:01:42,920 --> 01:01:44,760
Speaker 3: I had a son, I would say, oh, that mom's

1305
01:01:44,800 --> 01:01:48,560
Speaker 3: just enabling and she's being you know, he's just a

1306
01:01:48,680 --> 01:01:51,720
Speaker 3: mama's boy, and blah blah blah blah blah, and just

1307
01:01:51,720 --> 01:01:53,640
Speaker 3: make every excuse like how I always sayd with Pam.

1308
01:01:53,720 --> 01:01:54,960
Speaker 3: I was like, I can't believe Pam thinks that we

1309
01:01:54,960 --> 01:01:56,880
Speaker 3: should spend every Christmas at her house, you know, And

1310
01:01:56,920 --> 01:02:01,520
Speaker 3: then now you okay, but then but then now it's

1311
01:02:01,960 --> 01:02:03,960
Speaker 3: my son is spending every Christmas with me, and I'm

1312
01:02:03,960 --> 01:02:05,280
Speaker 3: going to have it by my side and I'm not

1313
01:02:05,280 --> 01:02:07,880
Speaker 3: going to So now it's like he's my boy, and

1314
01:02:07,960 --> 01:02:10,560
Speaker 3: I may not be a narcissist, but he's he's the

1315
01:02:10,640 --> 01:02:12,600
Speaker 3: love of my life. Like I'm his first and only

1316
01:02:12,680 --> 01:02:17,560
Speaker 3: woman he'll ever love. I mean, I'm and I'm reading.

1317
01:02:17,640 --> 01:02:18,960
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, that's going to be me, Like I'm

1318
01:02:19,000 --> 01:02:22,320
Speaker 3: going to be I'm going to be terrible. I will.

1319
01:02:22,760 --> 01:02:25,400
Speaker 3: He's my boy, Like I am so literally obsessed with

1320
01:02:25,400 --> 01:02:28,040
Speaker 3: that boy that no girl will be perfect for him.

1321
01:02:28,040 --> 01:02:29,560
Speaker 3: Like it makes me want to cry, like no girl,

1322
01:02:31,880 --> 01:02:39,160
Speaker 3: Oh that comes in house, get out immediately, immediate.

1323
01:02:40,520 --> 01:02:42,720
Speaker 5: Room side.

1324
01:02:44,200 --> 01:02:51,200
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, so I don't know, Sorry, daniel Just do that.

1325
01:02:51,680 --> 01:02:53,600
Speaker 5: You know what else, Danielle, what you need to do

1326
01:02:54,320 --> 01:03:00,160
Speaker 5: is educate yourself and your husband on narcissist and how

1327
01:03:00,200 --> 01:03:03,520
Speaker 5: they behave in how they are in relationships, and it

1328
01:03:03,520 --> 01:03:06,600
Speaker 5: will give you a better understanding and will also help

1329
01:03:06,680 --> 01:03:09,920
Speaker 5: your husband wrap his head around technology behavior.

1330
01:03:10,120 --> 01:03:10,840
Speaker 2: Yeah hopefully.

1331
01:03:11,000 --> 01:03:13,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, so huge. Thank you to Joybird. Go to joybird

1332
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Speaker 3: and enter in Jana when you subscribe. Okay, this has

1340
01:03:38,680 --> 01:03:41,080
Speaker 3: been a really fun show. I've really enjoyed it. There's

1341
01:03:41,080 --> 01:03:42,760
Speaker 3: been some good emails. Doctor Kristen was great.

1342
01:03:42,840 --> 01:03:45,400
Speaker 5: Jen love fertility stuff. It is.

1343
01:03:45,640 --> 01:03:48,680
Speaker 3: It's sad. I just feel because we've been there, we've

1344
01:03:48,680 --> 01:03:50,800
Speaker 3: been not being able to have a baby. It's just

1345
01:03:51,520 --> 01:03:53,920
Speaker 3: there's so many women out there in this situation. So

1346
01:03:54,440 --> 01:03:58,560
Speaker 3: we love you, and uh, let's wind down again next week.

1347
01:03:58,560 --> 01:04:00,360
Speaker 3: Oh by the way, next week, for sure f g

1348
01:04:00,520 --> 01:04:02,960
Speaker 3: L one of them will be here. I messed up

1349
01:04:02,960 --> 01:04:05,160
Speaker 3: on my dates, But next week stay tuned.

1350
01:04:11,400 --> 01:04:13,400
Speaker 5: The Apple Crunk, The Apple