1 00:00:00,440 --> 00:00:04,840 Speaker 1: Welcome to Money Making Conversation Masterclass. I'm your host, Rashawn McDonald. 2 00:00:05,559 --> 00:00:08,720 Speaker 1: I recognize that we all have different deficitions of success. 3 00:00:08,760 --> 00:00:10,680 Speaker 1: For you, it may be the size of your paycheck. 4 00:00:11,039 --> 00:00:13,680 Speaker 1: Mine has inspired people to accomplish their goals and live 5 00:00:13,720 --> 00:00:16,440 Speaker 1: their very best life. It's time to stop reading other 6 00:00:16,480 --> 00:00:19,680 Speaker 1: people's success stories and start writing your own. People always 7 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:22,520 Speaker 1: talk about their purpose or gifts. If you have a gift, 8 00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:25,160 Speaker 1: lead with your gift and don't let your friends, family, 9 00:00:25,239 --> 00:00:27,960 Speaker 1: or coworkers stop you from planning or living your dreams. 10 00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:32,360 Speaker 1: My guests to they are power couple Rashawn Casey, known 11 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:35,920 Speaker 1: as DJ MVY and gr Casey. They host the popular 12 00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:39,600 Speaker 1: podcast The Casey Crew. Their podcast explores the good, bad, 13 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:42,800 Speaker 1: and ugly size of relationships and family life. It has 14 00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:45,080 Speaker 1: been ranked by Essence is one of the best podcasts 15 00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:48,720 Speaker 1: about black love and family. Rashan is also host of 16 00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:52,760 Speaker 1: the popular Breakfast Club alongside Charlemagne the Garden Angel Lee. 17 00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:55,639 Speaker 1: He currently lives with his wife Jill in the New 18 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:58,520 Speaker 1: Jersey area. Their book, which will be just reading about 19 00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:00,840 Speaker 1: today and talking about because I've read it last night 20 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:03,000 Speaker 1: and ready good morning. Actually read it twice. It's a 21 00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:05,640 Speaker 1: very entertaining narrative about how to grow together in a 22 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:09,000 Speaker 1: relationship and the Aspirational Guy, but for people who seek 23 00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:11,840 Speaker 1: the same unconditional love in their relationship, and an in 24 00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:15,080 Speaker 1: depth look at how to remain equals after being thrust 25 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:17,759 Speaker 1: into the public eye. In it, the cases share their 26 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:21,880 Speaker 1: love story and the different journeys they look and experience 27 00:01:21,959 --> 00:01:25,240 Speaker 1: to maintain this long standing relationship. Please welcome to Money 28 00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:29,440 Speaker 1: Making Conversation Masterclass. Rashawn Casey and gr Casey. How y'all doing? 29 00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:33,800 Speaker 1: They are wonderful, Thanks for having us. Well, let's get 30 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:36,120 Speaker 1: some looks a little ground like. My name is Rashan. 31 00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:38,240 Speaker 1: If you don't mind for an interview, can I just 32 00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:41,920 Speaker 1: call you d J Envy so we won't. Yeah, of course, 33 00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:53,320 Speaker 1: capital very creative. Okay, that's awesome, that's awesome. Well, you know, 34 00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:55,200 Speaker 1: when you write a book like this, I've been I've 35 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,440 Speaker 1: been blessed. You know, I've been with Steve Harvey when 36 00:01:57,480 --> 00:01:59,680 Speaker 1: he wrote his Act Like a Lady, Think like a Man. 37 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,520 Speaker 1: That was say with the market that we sold three 38 00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:06,120 Speaker 1: million copies and and thirty languages worldwide, and when you 39 00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:09,040 Speaker 1: and I liked the book. First of all, it's not 40 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:11,640 Speaker 1: about color, which I think is really smart because the 41 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:15,880 Speaker 1: concerns that you have here personally impact everybody. Was there 42 00:02:15,919 --> 00:02:18,880 Speaker 1: a conscious effort to not making a book for black 43 00:02:18,919 --> 00:02:21,000 Speaker 1: women a book for black men, because it's a book 44 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:27,720 Speaker 1: about men and women. It's a book about love and 45 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:32,400 Speaker 1: finding true love, growing in that true love, and maintaining 46 00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:36,960 Speaker 1: So for us, love is universal, so it could speak 47 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:40,880 Speaker 1: to anyone specifically. If you desire love in your life, 48 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:43,640 Speaker 1: it speaks to you. You know. I remember when I 49 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:46,160 Speaker 1: was in high school and uh, I had I had 50 00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:51,680 Speaker 1: the best friend and he he met his who eventually married, 51 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:55,120 Speaker 1: met her the ninth grade. Tenth grade, Nick married and 52 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:58,239 Speaker 1: and it always has blown me away that, wow, how 53 00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:01,359 Speaker 1: did they understand that relationship ship that that was them? 54 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:03,320 Speaker 1: Because I didn't get married to I was thirty two 55 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:06,120 Speaker 1: and I've been married for thirty three years. As you know, 56 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:08,519 Speaker 1: there's a journey in those thirty three years, as there's 57 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:11,120 Speaker 1: a journey in your book. And so I've had my 58 00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:14,440 Speaker 1: share with ups and downs and personality conflicts with my wife, 59 00:03:14,639 --> 00:03:17,000 Speaker 1: So there's no perfection in there. And then I read 60 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:20,200 Speaker 1: about your book, you know, meeting at sixteen years of age, 61 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:23,800 Speaker 1: you running track, he's in this blue corn is vans 62 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:27,120 Speaker 1: basically trying to seek your attention and all this stuff. 63 00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:28,680 Speaker 1: I don't know how you're gonna see your attention and 64 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:31,280 Speaker 1: a used can it is a van but he thought 65 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:35,600 Speaker 1: he had it all going on? How how though you know? 66 00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:40,240 Speaker 1: You know? How did y'all know? And that always I 67 00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:42,840 Speaker 1: always feel that's a blessing in my case because I 68 00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:46,320 Speaker 1: didn't see it and understand the ability to say I 69 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:49,280 Speaker 1: could love somebody and then say this is the person 70 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:51,280 Speaker 1: I want to be with for the rest of my life. 71 00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:54,320 Speaker 1: I start with you, DJ Envy. Yeah, I think I 72 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:56,480 Speaker 1: knew right away. Uh. Like I said, when I was 73 00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:58,560 Speaker 1: in high school, I wasn't. As my mom would say, 74 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:00,920 Speaker 1: to catch me out right, I would its pretty as guy. 75 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,640 Speaker 1: Now you stop, now, you're pretty hapsful. Guy, you're pretty ansful. 76 00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:07,160 Speaker 1: I'll take that now. Back then, I was five for four, 77 00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:10,960 Speaker 1: I had glasses, braces, and I was I wasn't there. 78 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:13,320 Speaker 1: I wasn't the cutest out there. So when I seen her, 79 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,440 Speaker 1: she was my everything. She was the most beautiful girl 80 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:18,120 Speaker 1: I've ever seen in my life. And just to tell 81 00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:20,040 Speaker 1: everybody out there, like I said, yes, I would start 82 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:22,960 Speaker 1: at track, but you know, just a magazine that your sixteen, 83 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:25,920 Speaker 1: he's fifteen. She's running track and you know those tracks, 84 00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:28,320 Speaker 1: the Titan Skippy and I used to watch it and back, 85 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:31,359 Speaker 1: and she had double d s and I would just 86 00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:34,880 Speaker 1: sit there and watch her run, and I right there, 87 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:37,320 Speaker 1: I was in love. And then when I only got 88 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:39,000 Speaker 1: a chance to when we got a chance to talk 89 00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:41,440 Speaker 1: and speak, and she was so smart and she had 90 00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:44,400 Speaker 1: just she was what she wanted to do in life, 91 00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:47,679 Speaker 1: and just everything about her was just like this is mine, 92 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:49,680 Speaker 1: Like I want this. I want to marry her right 93 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:51,479 Speaker 1: now if I could. And I knew from there and 94 00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:53,120 Speaker 1: then on that that was gonna be my wife. Okay, 95 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:55,159 Speaker 1: now see that is not in the book. The five 96 00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:59,680 Speaker 1: four glasses is not described in the book now, so 97 00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:02,080 Speaker 1: so so I take back that handsome lad I gave 98 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:05,200 Speaker 1: to your DJ. Okay, now let's go over to jail. 99 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:09,400 Speaker 1: You running around this track, you know, just hundred two 100 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:12,159 Speaker 1: d hudred, What were you? I was a two hundred 101 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:15,400 Speaker 1: and four. She came on that curve on your brother came. 102 00:05:17,480 --> 00:05:22,840 Speaker 1: So so here's this five ft four glass wearing dude 103 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:28,320 Speaker 1: in a contison blue van. Gave you his number to you, 104 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:30,240 Speaker 1: and you were supposed to call him, but you didn't 105 00:05:30,279 --> 00:05:34,400 Speaker 1: call him. Well, I didn't call him right away. I 106 00:05:34,440 --> 00:05:39,120 Speaker 1: had just transferred into his school. Oh, I skipped a grade, 107 00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:41,599 Speaker 1: and I should have pushed sophomore, but I was a 108 00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:45,520 Speaker 1: junior and I was fresh meat at the school, so 109 00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:48,720 Speaker 1: I had a lot of attention, and I wanted to 110 00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:52,760 Speaker 1: gauge my prospects. I wanted to see, you know, where 111 00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:58,080 Speaker 1: these other potential relationships would go. But he was so persistent. 112 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:03,040 Speaker 1: He acted like a man who knew what he wanted 113 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:06,560 Speaker 1: and going to go after it at all costs. And 114 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:09,960 Speaker 1: that impressed me. And there's a story attached to it, 115 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,680 Speaker 1: but I'll leave that for those that are interest reader. 116 00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:19,239 Speaker 1: But when he finally got my attention and we began 117 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:21,560 Speaker 1: speaking on the phone, we'd be on the phone for 118 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:25,080 Speaker 1: six hours, seven hours, eight hours until the sun came up, 119 00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:27,240 Speaker 1: until we had to get ready for school the next day. 120 00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:30,640 Speaker 1: And it took about maybe two weeks. And I remember 121 00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:34,039 Speaker 1: having this epiphany and thinking to myself, I'm going to 122 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:38,440 Speaker 1: marry this kid, like we're going to be together forever. 123 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:41,680 Speaker 1: And it was such a strong feeling. It wasn't knowing, 124 00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:44,200 Speaker 1: And that's part of the magic that we speak of 125 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:47,679 Speaker 1: in the title The Joys and pains and the magic 126 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:49,920 Speaker 1: that held us together, and that was part of it. 127 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:52,680 Speaker 1: It was that early knowing there was something special if 128 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:56,360 Speaker 1: you believe in soulmates. Um. I think probably the closest 129 00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:59,160 Speaker 1: thing to a soul mate that I could describe, even 130 00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:02,599 Speaker 1: at that young age and even with that little experience. Okay, 131 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:04,600 Speaker 1: because okay, we didn't have went to high school, go 132 00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:07,120 Speaker 1: through that whole thing, and you graduate and you go 133 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:10,520 Speaker 1: to college, like fifteen minutes apart from each other in college, 134 00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:14,040 Speaker 1: and you went to an HBCU Sir, Yeah, I went 135 00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:16,560 Speaker 1: to Hampton University to real ate you. Yes, sir, Yes, 136 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:18,480 Speaker 1: I've heard that so many time. One of my employees, 137 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:20,480 Speaker 1: and Maantha Taylor's that's all I hear all the time, 138 00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:23,080 Speaker 1: that real ate you, that real ate you. So why 139 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:27,600 Speaker 1: the real HU or not d C the ate you? Okay, Well, 140 00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:29,640 Speaker 1: you know, coming from New York, whose name we do 141 00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:35,600 Speaker 1: not speak, coming from New York, you know, I do 142 00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:38,120 Speaker 1: the HBC run. Right in the HBC run is Morrigan, 143 00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:41,840 Speaker 1: then it's Howard, then it's it's it's a Virginia Union 144 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:44,240 Speaker 1: that Hampton. And it's more, my mom wanted me to 145 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:45,600 Speaker 1: go to Morehouse. She wanted me to be a more 146 00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:47,600 Speaker 1: House man. I was the first person in my family 147 00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:49,640 Speaker 1: to go to college, first person my family to graduate. 148 00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:52,160 Speaker 1: But then I had my boot in New York and 149 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:53,920 Speaker 1: more House is too far off a drive, and back 150 00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:55,400 Speaker 1: then I couldn't afford the flight, so I would have 151 00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:59,360 Speaker 1: to drive. So Hampton was six hours away. So I'm like, 152 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:02,520 Speaker 1: I go to Hampton to go to Old Dominion and 153 00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:04,679 Speaker 1: we can still be there. I could drive them every weekend. 154 00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:07,360 Speaker 1: It's a six hour drive. So University was a college 155 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:11,640 Speaker 1: I chose. And when we because we've seen the popularity, 156 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:15,200 Speaker 1: the surge and HBCUs now you know it's especially the 157 00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:18,880 Speaker 1: twenty large donations. What did it do for you as 158 00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:22,520 Speaker 1: an individual? And why would you recommend a person I'm 159 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:25,680 Speaker 1: sure to go to an HBCU because it benefited to you. 160 00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:28,240 Speaker 1: And it was. So when I look back, I throughout 161 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:30,360 Speaker 1: numbers all the time. Eight percent of the doctors and 162 00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:33,840 Speaker 1: Dennis who are black com from HBCU, of the members 163 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:37,360 Speaker 1: of Congress from hpcuent of the public school teachers come 164 00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:41,480 Speaker 1: from HBCU. These numbers, people don't know. How did it 165 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:45,760 Speaker 1: impact you? Well, many different ways, one of me being 166 00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:47,800 Speaker 1: in the entertainment industry, I was from New York. All 167 00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:50,360 Speaker 1: I knew was New York. So going to hbc U, 168 00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:53,520 Speaker 1: I had a roommate from Mississippi put me to music 169 00:08:53,520 --> 00:08:57,280 Speaker 1: from Mississippi. I had roommates from Indiana that put me 170 00:08:57,320 --> 00:08:59,319 Speaker 1: on from music from Indiana. But not only that, I 171 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:01,559 Speaker 1: would travel with them back home and see how they lived, 172 00:09:01,559 --> 00:09:04,800 Speaker 1: and it opened me my my taste up to other 173 00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:07,040 Speaker 1: types of music. But not only that. When I'm in school, 174 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:08,920 Speaker 1: that's one thing I don't have to worry about. I 175 00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:11,040 Speaker 1: don't have to worry about the racist teacher and the 176 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:14,920 Speaker 1: racism in my school. Right, I can concentrate on learning. 177 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:17,280 Speaker 1: And the teachers at HBCUs they want you to win 178 00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:19,520 Speaker 1: up just a little bit more. So they're gonna put 179 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:21,439 Speaker 1: their arm around you. If you're having a problem, you're 180 00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:23,640 Speaker 1: having a situation, they're gonna help you a little more. 181 00:09:23,679 --> 00:09:26,440 Speaker 1: If there's a problem back home, if you can't afford something, 182 00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:29,440 Speaker 1: if financial or stressed back home, they're gonna put their 183 00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:31,600 Speaker 1: arm around you. And it's more of a family member 184 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:33,920 Speaker 1: helping you, opposed to just somebody that's out there that 185 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:35,640 Speaker 1: has to get their check and they're gonna get paid 186 00:09:35,679 --> 00:09:37,959 Speaker 1: on Friday. Don't really care about you like they are 187 00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:41,240 Speaker 1: gonna be there. I remember I had a situation where 188 00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:43,480 Speaker 1: I could not figure calculus out. It was one of 189 00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:45,920 Speaker 1: those things. It was just hard for me. Numbers were 190 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:49,640 Speaker 1: google gud and that teacher would would come to my apartment. 191 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:51,320 Speaker 1: That teach you would meet me in the library. That 192 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:53,560 Speaker 1: teach you would make sure I knew what I was doing, 193 00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:55,720 Speaker 1: even if she said, look, we're gonna have lunch in 194 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:57,839 Speaker 1: my office and we're gonna learn this, and that's what 195 00:09:57,920 --> 00:09:59,920 Speaker 1: it was, and and and she stayed with me into 196 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:02,040 Speaker 1: I got it right, you know. And that's some of 197 00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:04,600 Speaker 1: the things we don't experience. I don't think they experienced 198 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:06,040 Speaker 1: at any other kinds. My daughter goes to n y 199 00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:08,080 Speaker 1: U and she doesn't say the same thing. So that's 200 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:10,480 Speaker 1: the type of thing that I experienced at HBCU. We'll 201 00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:14,000 Speaker 1: be right back with more Money Making Conversations Masterclass with 202 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:20,760 Speaker 1: Rushan McDonald. Now let's return to Money Making Conversations Masterclass 203 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,679 Speaker 1: with Rushan McDonald. You know, it's really interesting when I'm 204 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:28,560 Speaker 1: watching you talk, You're very in tune to him talking. 205 00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:32,120 Speaker 1: And is that is because you know, that's a that's 206 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:35,160 Speaker 1: a relationship. There's like I know, it's been long term. 207 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,880 Speaker 1: You know, like my wife should watch me. I go 208 00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:40,560 Speaker 1: just I can just feel her just watching my words 209 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,000 Speaker 1: come out of my mama. Sometimes you go, you shouldn't 210 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:45,760 Speaker 1: have said that. You know. Later all you know, she go, 211 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:48,720 Speaker 1: you could have said this differently. You know. She produces 212 00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:51,400 Speaker 1: my radio show, and you know, at the end of 213 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:53,240 Speaker 1: the radio show, I get a call, well, you know, 214 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:55,920 Speaker 1: you shouldn't have said it ain't and you really, you 215 00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:59,360 Speaker 1: really was little too selfish own that call right there. 216 00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:02,920 Speaker 1: And he's like that, so is she am? I see 217 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:11,400 Speaker 1: a life producer radio producer. Pocas are kindred spirit the 218 00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:16,040 Speaker 1: breakfast club every day to the breakfast club people. When 219 00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:19,000 Speaker 1: it's home from the breakfast club or wherever he's going next, 220 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:24,440 Speaker 1: I critique. And he's been on breakfast clubs what ten years? 221 00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:28,960 Speaker 1: I love it. Day we have a conversation about the 222 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:31,360 Speaker 1: way that he handled different things, or the way that 223 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:34,200 Speaker 1: he phrased different things, or his take on different things. 224 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:36,599 Speaker 1: So I'm always critiquing him. And it's because I'm in 225 00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:39,000 Speaker 1: his corner, and it's because I want the best for him, 226 00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:41,880 Speaker 1: and I know his potential and I want him to 227 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:45,240 Speaker 1: be the very best at meeching it. So I do 228 00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:48,400 Speaker 1: everything that I possibly can to try to support him. 229 00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:51,320 Speaker 1: And let me ask you this, because see I couldn't 230 00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:58,000 Speaker 1: deal with criticism DJ and um you know yeah, I'm like, 231 00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:00,760 Speaker 1: this is interesting. You know I couldn't. That's what I'm 232 00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:05,280 Speaker 1: telling something twice. I read it twice, okay, because you know, 233 00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:07,760 Speaker 1: you go through and you go thirty three years of marriage, 234 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:11,959 Speaker 1: you go Okay, and and so because in my all way, 235 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,760 Speaker 1: because when you talk about being and having a controlling 236 00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:19,080 Speaker 1: personality in your book, several chapters you talk about that. 237 00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:21,200 Speaker 1: I love the one where you put over your shoulders 238 00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:24,800 Speaker 1: and walked her out of the party. I would, Okay, 239 00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:30,560 Speaker 1: he really crazy. I know that's not PC, but I 240 00:12:30,559 --> 00:12:34,480 Speaker 1: gotta say he's crazy right now, okay, right out of 241 00:12:34,559 --> 00:12:37,800 Speaker 1: a damn party, like like like she gonna go Okay, 242 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:40,439 Speaker 1: I'm cool with that. Okay, honey, I'm looking at who 243 00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:42,160 Speaker 1: I'm through who I'm looking at it right now. Now. 244 00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:45,079 Speaker 1: They wouldn't happen now. She got a reputation there with 245 00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:47,400 Speaker 1: and you ain't gonna ruin it there. Oh I love you, 246 00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:51,280 Speaker 1: but not that, but okay, cross the line, captain stupid Okay, 247 00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:54,840 Speaker 1: and so and so so. The reason I asked that 248 00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:58,520 Speaker 1: if that. It took me a minute to admit did 249 00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:02,640 Speaker 1: I needed her to be critical of me? And I 250 00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:06,679 Speaker 1: wouldn't say the word critical, but I would say that, um, 251 00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:11,040 Speaker 1: I needed somebody to check me. Hm. You know, and 252 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:14,520 Speaker 1: because when you get successful, as you know, very few 253 00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:16,520 Speaker 1: people start checking you because some of them have they're 254 00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:18,680 Speaker 1: getting the angle checking because they don't lose their check 255 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:24,160 Speaker 1: or you become so influential that you can persuade them 256 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:31,280 Speaker 1: out of their point of view. So once I huh, yeah, 257 00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:33,920 Speaker 1: but you but still he's gifted though, he's gifted, and 258 00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:37,240 Speaker 1: so he's a gifted communicator. And so if you're a 259 00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:39,839 Speaker 1: gifted communicate because I know I am, and somebody can 260 00:13:39,840 --> 00:13:41,520 Speaker 1: come to me with the best debate in the world, 261 00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:44,880 Speaker 1: I go okay, whatever or whatever them away and they 262 00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:47,880 Speaker 1: just shut down. They go okay, he just said whatever, 263 00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:50,360 Speaker 1: How do I get out of this? So when I 264 00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:52,720 Speaker 1: when I only say that, they say is that I 265 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:56,120 Speaker 1: found the book very relatable for me and very confiding 266 00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:58,680 Speaker 1: for me because of the fact that I and I 267 00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:00,959 Speaker 1: come back to you when I, when I see the 268 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,679 Speaker 1: word controlling, it feels like a giant see in the book, 269 00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:07,520 Speaker 1: and to me it was just an admission as I 270 00:14:07,559 --> 00:14:11,880 Speaker 1: had to admit that we all have to respect information 271 00:14:12,679 --> 00:14:16,199 Speaker 1: and receive information. And I think that once you accepted 272 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:19,880 Speaker 1: receiving information, that's where the true trust came into relationship. 273 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:22,560 Speaker 1: That's where it came into the mind. Is I'm hitting 274 00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:25,800 Speaker 1: in the areas that made sense to your DJ. Absolutely. 275 00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:27,840 Speaker 1: You know one thing about I would say about my 276 00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:30,120 Speaker 1: wife and sometimes I don't know if you're a virgal brother, 277 00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:33,080 Speaker 1: but like sometimes I just don't like to hear it. 278 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:34,720 Speaker 1: And I had to get to a point where I'm like, 279 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:37,440 Speaker 1: she's criticizing me, and she's being critical. So she was 280 00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:39,840 Speaker 1: to help me. She was to make me better. She 281 00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,960 Speaker 1: see things that can make me better. She's looking from 282 00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:45,479 Speaker 1: the outside, and sometimes I wasn't accepting of that information. 283 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,320 Speaker 1: But now I'm at a point where I realized, no, 284 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:49,080 Speaker 1: if she's telling me something, she's trying to make sure 285 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:50,760 Speaker 1: I'm better, that I don't do it again, that I 286 00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:54,000 Speaker 1: don't mess up, that I'm I'm being the best restored 287 00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:56,520 Speaker 1: or being the best DJ envy, that I can be right, 288 00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:59,160 Speaker 1: and that's really important. So so when you was pushing 289 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:01,880 Speaker 1: back on the you know, the advice, let's use the 290 00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:04,840 Speaker 1: word advice, not criticism, not critique. When he was pushing 291 00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:07,760 Speaker 1: back on advice, how did that make you feel? Deal 292 00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:10,880 Speaker 1: did you did you feel at one point I just 293 00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:13,160 Speaker 1: throw your hands up and go he's not gonna get it? 294 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:15,360 Speaker 1: Or how did that? Because this is all part of 295 00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:18,120 Speaker 1: the relationship that people need to hear about when they 296 00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:21,120 Speaker 1: hit these walls in the relationship, you don't stop. When 297 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:23,840 Speaker 1: you have somebody that you love. Sometimes you have to 298 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:26,240 Speaker 1: walk through the rocky point in order to extend the 299 00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:32,120 Speaker 1: quality of the relationship. Right. Um, Now, this was a 300 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:36,280 Speaker 1: perpetual thing. If I'm being on it a mine one overnight, 301 00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:43,200 Speaker 1: now my one overnight, I myself admitted, UM, somewhat perfectionist. 302 00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:46,520 Speaker 1: I like to do things to the very best of 303 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:49,600 Speaker 1: my potential. My father to say to me, if you're 304 00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:51,880 Speaker 1: gonna put your name on something, make sure that it's 305 00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:55,520 Speaker 1: the very damn best that you're able to produce. UM. 306 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:58,280 Speaker 1: So I look at him that way because I respect 307 00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:02,680 Speaker 1: him so much and I think that he is phenomenal 308 00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:06,760 Speaker 1: at what he does. UM. And when he would deflect 309 00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:11,280 Speaker 1: my advice as as we agreed to put it, UM, No, 310 00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:14,040 Speaker 1: I never said to myself while I'm just gonna throw 311 00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:16,760 Speaker 1: my hands up because he's not being receptive, because that 312 00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:19,680 Speaker 1: would mean that I would be giving up on him. 313 00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:23,520 Speaker 1: And I knew that if I kept knocking, I kept 314 00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:27,480 Speaker 1: knocking and kept knocking, eventually that that wall would come 315 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:30,960 Speaker 1: down and didn't. I was right. Um, I just had 316 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:34,280 Speaker 1: to learn how to be delicate about the things that 317 00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:37,640 Speaker 1: I said, and um to approach him with kid gloves 318 00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:40,560 Speaker 1: to make sure that I recognized all of the positive 319 00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:44,480 Speaker 1: as well as whatever I perceived as things that could 320 00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:49,360 Speaker 1: be done better. Because you know, you can't just communicate 321 00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:51,400 Speaker 1: with someone in that way because if not, if you do, 322 00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:53,480 Speaker 1: they feel as though they're being attacked. So I had 323 00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:56,640 Speaker 1: to make sure that my intention was very clear to 324 00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:59,120 Speaker 1: him and that it wasn't an attack. It was really 325 00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:02,400 Speaker 1: because I believe Tim to be so much better than 326 00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:05,320 Speaker 1: what he may have done that day. Right, I'm talking 327 00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:09,040 Speaker 1: to Rashaun Casey and otherwise known as DJ Envy and 328 00:17:09,119 --> 00:17:13,520 Speaker 1: gr Casey. Their book a very very great read, amazing 329 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:16,520 Speaker 1: family photos. In the end, uh, he said he was 330 00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:19,439 Speaker 1: a five ft shorty with glasses, but he's a real 331 00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:22,760 Speaker 1: handsome guy. Back then to real life, real love life, 332 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:25,439 Speaker 1: Lessons of joy, pain and the magic that holds us 333 00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:28,800 Speaker 1: together in the twenty five questions that ask yourself before 334 00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:31,320 Speaker 1: you ask yourself before we getting married. This is the 335 00:17:31,359 --> 00:17:35,959 Speaker 1: one question that really uh stuck with me. Well, I 336 00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:41,399 Speaker 1: wanted for a lifetime. Yes, And you know when I 337 00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:43,040 Speaker 1: when I look at my life, you know I had 338 00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:45,240 Speaker 1: had success, a lot of success early in life. And 339 00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:47,439 Speaker 1: I always tell people when you have a career, you know, 340 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:51,359 Speaker 1: you never think about forty fifty, sixty, and that's what 341 00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:53,320 Speaker 1: the career is. Like you said, you've been doing the 342 00:17:53,359 --> 00:17:57,200 Speaker 1: breakfast club twelve years? You know, is it eight more years? 343 00:17:57,280 --> 00:18:00,199 Speaker 1: Is it twenty more years? Because that's what the career is. 344 00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:02,880 Speaker 1: And so when you look at a relationship, we don't 345 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:05,560 Speaker 1: kind of see that either. We just say we're married 346 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:09,320 Speaker 1: and we don't start projecting ten, fifteen, twenty years. So 347 00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:12,080 Speaker 1: when you say what I wanted for a lifetime, I 348 00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:16,040 Speaker 1: would say I'm married because I wanted that was the 349 00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:18,280 Speaker 1: person I loved, and I said I wanted to be 350 00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:20,120 Speaker 1: with that person forever. But I never put the word 351 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,600 Speaker 1: lifetime on it. Can you can you help me with 352 00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:24,600 Speaker 1: that with that statement that you mean when you say 353 00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:28,160 Speaker 1: with lifetime, Um, I'll be honest with you, I don't 354 00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:30,920 Speaker 1: see anybody else in my life besides again, as far 355 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:34,520 Speaker 1: as lifetime, I I see us getting old together, wiping 356 00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:37,680 Speaker 1: each other's butts together. Uh, you know, if we all 357 00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:39,840 Speaker 1: have to sit sit, you know, through a strug because 358 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:41,800 Speaker 1: we have no teeth, I see us doing that together. 359 00:18:42,119 --> 00:18:44,400 Speaker 1: I'm still when she when she walks by me, I'm 360 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:46,280 Speaker 1: still gonna slap on the bookie, And I'm sure she 361 00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:49,880 Speaker 1: still gonna slap you still got hands and walk down 362 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:52,359 Speaker 1: the beach together, like this is my soul mate. Like, 363 00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:55,240 Speaker 1: I don't see my life without anybody but her, and 364 00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:57,119 Speaker 1: I look forward to those moments. I look forward to 365 00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:59,919 Speaker 1: those times. I look forward to, you know, being seventy 366 00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:02,159 Speaker 1: years old and the convertibill still come back and we're 367 00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:04,440 Speaker 1: still riding around like with nineteen years old. I still 368 00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:07,000 Speaker 1: look forward to those moments. And I don't see my 369 00:19:07,119 --> 00:19:11,720 Speaker 1: life without anybody besides him. See the word lifetime, it 370 00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:14,440 Speaker 1: seems like such a simple question, Right, do you want 371 00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:17,080 Speaker 1: for a lifetime? Well, I'm worrying him, of course I 372 00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:19,879 Speaker 1: wanted for a lifetime. But how many people stop and 373 00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:25,600 Speaker 1: actually think about that word lifetime and what it actually 374 00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:28,480 Speaker 1: means the same way like they take for granted the 375 00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:34,960 Speaker 1: word love and the meaning of love. Lifetime means now, later, forever, 376 00:19:36,119 --> 00:19:38,880 Speaker 1: through all the stages, through all the ups and downs, 377 00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:42,439 Speaker 1: through all of the changes, to be there and to 378 00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:46,119 Speaker 1: commit to it forever. People don't really sit back and 379 00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:49,600 Speaker 1: think about it critically. They're so worried thinking about the wedding, 380 00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:53,119 Speaker 1: the spectacle of it, and the rapture of emotion that 381 00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:55,880 Speaker 1: they're feeling at that present time, and they don't think 382 00:19:55,920 --> 00:20:00,600 Speaker 1: about years from now. And people gain weight, people's exchange, 383 00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:06,359 Speaker 1: people's personalities change, life and experiences change people. Are you 384 00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:10,520 Speaker 1: going to be with that person, committed, loyal and everything 385 00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:13,560 Speaker 1: else that comes along with marriage through all of those trials. 386 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:16,080 Speaker 1: Are you prepared for it? Are you willing to be 387 00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:20,359 Speaker 1: there for a lifetime? People don't typically think about that. 388 00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:24,080 Speaker 1: We'll be right back with more Money Making Conversations Masterclass 389 00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:30,120 Speaker 1: with Rushan McDonald. Now, let's return to Money Making Conversations 390 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:35,200 Speaker 1: master Class with Rushan McDonald. Oh you good, you good year? 391 00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:41,240 Speaker 1: You really? Do you really? Really? I've enjoyed this. I've 392 00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:45,600 Speaker 1: seen you in my check you know because I I 393 00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:49,119 Speaker 1: you know, because I felt in doing this interview I 394 00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:52,280 Speaker 1: had to be honest with you guys. I couldn't set 395 00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:54,919 Speaker 1: myself on a pedal store and not say that for 396 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:57,800 Speaker 1: thirty three years, I had a perfect I've had a 397 00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:00,960 Speaker 1: perfect relationship. She is the person I'm going to die with. 398 00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:03,000 Speaker 1: But I knew it was a point in my life 399 00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:06,200 Speaker 1: that you know, I got crazy. You know, success makes 400 00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:10,000 Speaker 1: you crazy, It makes you stupid, makes you disrespectful, makes 401 00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:15,199 Speaker 1: you forget how you got there. Let me repeat that, 402 00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:19,239 Speaker 1: forget how you got there because you and and the 403 00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:21,160 Speaker 1: line that really stood out for me in this book 404 00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:24,919 Speaker 1: and when that really came into play with you was 405 00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:28,960 Speaker 1: my wife didn't want to be my wife anymore. M 406 00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:34,640 Speaker 1: I've had that moment my brother. But I thought I 407 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:41,800 Speaker 1: was making that decision. M H. When you realize you 408 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:45,639 Speaker 1: weren't making that decision, tell us how it impacted you. 409 00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:52,399 Speaker 1: That's a good question. Um, you know this was a 410 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:56,000 Speaker 1: crazy one because you know, when I looked and it 411 00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:58,679 Speaker 1: was my stupidity. But when I looked at people and 412 00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:00,560 Speaker 1: I would read stories of me growing up and I 413 00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:03,440 Speaker 1: hear somebody committed suicide or somebody trying to commit suicide, 414 00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:06,080 Speaker 1: I always thought they was soft, right, I always thought 415 00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:08,240 Speaker 1: they were sucker and why would you want to do that? 416 00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:10,520 Speaker 1: Until I got to the lowest ever and when my 417 00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:12,760 Speaker 1: wife said she didn't want to be my wife anymore, 418 00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:16,280 Speaker 1: my life I thought was over. I thought I couldn't 419 00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:17,760 Speaker 1: be a good man. I couldn't be a good father, 420 00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:19,280 Speaker 1: I couldn't be a good husband, I couldn't be a 421 00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:21,399 Speaker 1: good lover. And it got to the point where I 422 00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:24,200 Speaker 1: was so low. I really felt like me not being 423 00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:27,200 Speaker 1: in this world will be better for her and better 424 00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:30,480 Speaker 1: for my kids. And I was there, like I was there, 425 00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:32,239 Speaker 1: it was no longer I thought that was so if 426 00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:34,560 Speaker 1: that's how I felt. I felt like me not being 427 00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:38,159 Speaker 1: here would be better off for everybody else. And but 428 00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:39,960 Speaker 1: my wife said she didn't want to be my wife anymore. 429 00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:41,920 Speaker 1: I felt like life was going. I felt like there's 430 00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:44,160 Speaker 1: no there was no reason to live, you know. Here 431 00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:47,440 Speaker 1: here I am uh a young fellow. At the time, 432 00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:50,040 Speaker 1: I had a lot of money. We had everything that 433 00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:53,480 Speaker 1: we thought we need right. We had cars and homes 434 00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:57,040 Speaker 1: and in vacations and jewelry and shoes and bags and speakers, 435 00:22:57,160 --> 00:23:01,640 Speaker 1: and all of that meant nothing. Only thing that I 436 00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:04,000 Speaker 1: would it and the only thing that meant the most 437 00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:06,200 Speaker 1: to me, I didn't want to be with me anymore. 438 00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:09,119 Speaker 1: And at that moment, right there, I didn't want to 439 00:23:09,119 --> 00:23:15,240 Speaker 1: be anymore. And that's how I felt. Wow, and you 440 00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:18,800 Speaker 1: wanted to say something, Yeah, no, I'll let you. I'll 441 00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:21,440 Speaker 1: let you, Okay. Cool? You know because see it comes 442 00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:25,399 Speaker 1: into players. I have one child, and uh, because I 443 00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:27,160 Speaker 1: don't want to keep you alone, because it's I could 444 00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:30,960 Speaker 1: be talking to y'all forever here because I enjoyed you know, 445 00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:33,920 Speaker 1: you know, my one child my wife said she didn't 446 00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:35,800 Speaker 1: want to have because I was never home. I always 447 00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:38,040 Speaker 1: tell people, you know, I just stand up comic. I 448 00:23:38,119 --> 00:23:40,520 Speaker 1: left stand up comedy in eight and went to New 449 00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:42,760 Speaker 1: York and lived in New York for two years and 450 00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:44,680 Speaker 1: lived in the l a for fifteen years. I think 451 00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:47,520 Speaker 1: that the first part of our lives I may have 452 00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:49,760 Speaker 1: been we may have been married like twelve years. We 453 00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:52,359 Speaker 1: may have been together like three years in the same 454 00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:56,000 Speaker 1: place and so but and I have a little tape 455 00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:58,080 Speaker 1: for my daughter. Well, I kind of like to have 456 00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:00,800 Speaker 1: raised my daughter on the phone. I have this what 457 00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:03,119 Speaker 1: she called leave a message, I love your dadd and 458 00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:05,400 Speaker 1: by dad, and I gave it to on our twenty 459 00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:08,800 Speaker 1: birthday and just surprised her and I And it says 460 00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:12,560 Speaker 1: that your children are always watching, listening and learning that's 461 00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:15,960 Speaker 1: the line from your book. And and I want to 462 00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:18,879 Speaker 1: turn to you g on this because I think that 463 00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:22,760 Speaker 1: we forget that. We forget that just because we can 464 00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:25,359 Speaker 1: be in another room talking, they don't see the body, 465 00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:27,520 Speaker 1: They don't understand our body language. Just because we can 466 00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:30,680 Speaker 1: raise our voice here, they don't hear that. In this 467 00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:34,080 Speaker 1: book about relationship, can you play and let our listeners 468 00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:38,719 Speaker 1: see and hear the importance of recognizing your children are 469 00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:43,040 Speaker 1: always learning, they're always watching, and they're always listening. Yes, 470 00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:49,920 Speaker 1: we are our children's first and most significant teachers. People 471 00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:54,040 Speaker 1: think that when you have good children, they're just inherently 472 00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:57,400 Speaker 1: that way, as though they just became good by happy 473 00:24:57,560 --> 00:25:01,520 Speaker 1: stands or from the same respect bad as some parents 474 00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:03,680 Speaker 1: like to describe their kids, which I don't agree with, 475 00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:08,480 Speaker 1: but we'll let that go by happenstance. Um, when you 476 00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:12,800 Speaker 1: have good children, it is because they were raised by 477 00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:17,120 Speaker 1: parents or grandparents or whomever who was deliberate and very 478 00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:21,680 Speaker 1: intentional about their upbringing, about the lessons that they were taught. 479 00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:27,320 Speaker 1: That is vital. We don't just teach by sitting down 480 00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:31,560 Speaker 1: and explaining things to our children. We teach by action. 481 00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:37,240 Speaker 1: We teach simply by living and children are always watching, 482 00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:42,000 Speaker 1: even when not watching intentionally, they're always watching. They're learning. 483 00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:45,200 Speaker 1: We lead by example, and they use our lives and 484 00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:47,840 Speaker 1: how we deal with people, how we deal with situations 485 00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:53,440 Speaker 1: as their first line of reference points. So whenever I'm 486 00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:57,359 Speaker 1: around my children, I make sure that I'm on my 487 00:25:57,560 --> 00:26:02,320 Speaker 1: best behavior because we try to find things intentionally and 488 00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:08,159 Speaker 1: unintentionally to teach our children. For instance, Rishawn Lean is 489 00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:11,480 Speaker 1: a very stressful life. He has I don't know six 490 00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:15,800 Speaker 1: seven different businesses, and that that requires a lot of time. 491 00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:18,800 Speaker 1: It requires a lot of work, a lot of energy. Um, 492 00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:23,399 Speaker 1: he's expended mentally all the time. His eyes are often 493 00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:26,960 Speaker 1: low and he tries his very best to not bring 494 00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:29,400 Speaker 1: that into the house. Like he takes those shoes off 495 00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:32,840 Speaker 1: at the door. Sometimes it doesn't always work, and those 496 00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:36,480 Speaker 1: shoes come inside the house with him, And sometimes I 497 00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:38,639 Speaker 1: bear the brunt of it. Sometimes the kids bear the 498 00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:41,000 Speaker 1: brunt of it. And with those same kid gloves that 499 00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:43,399 Speaker 1: we talked about earlier, I might sit him down and say, 500 00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:48,040 Speaker 1: you know what, when Logan asked you about whatever it was, UM, 501 00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:51,320 Speaker 1: you could have handled him a little bit differently. UM. 502 00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:53,440 Speaker 1: I think that he probably walked away thinking that you 503 00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:55,720 Speaker 1: didn't care that you were yuessing him, that you weren't 504 00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:57,720 Speaker 1: really paying attention, so you might want to go and 505 00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:01,359 Speaker 1: have a conversation with him, and Rashawn perk up and say, okay, 506 00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:03,560 Speaker 1: is that is that really what you took away? Absolutely, 507 00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:05,399 Speaker 1: that's what I took away. And he'll walk down the 508 00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:07,080 Speaker 1: hole and go to the Logan's room, knock on the door, 509 00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:12,640 Speaker 1: sit down and apologize and say, you know what, I've 510 00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:15,600 Speaker 1: been overworked this week and I didn't really have that 511 00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:17,760 Speaker 1: much pace and patience. I wasn't really there when you 512 00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:21,480 Speaker 1: were talking to me. I am sorry, And let's have 513 00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:25,120 Speaker 1: that conversation again. Let's let's redo it. And my son 514 00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:29,159 Speaker 1: not only gets to have his father present in those moments, 515 00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:35,480 Speaker 1: but he's able to learn that apologizing isn't soft, Apologizing 516 00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:38,320 Speaker 1: doesn't make you less of a man. A real man 517 00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:42,640 Speaker 1: can admit when he's wrong, A real man can unveil 518 00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:47,119 Speaker 1: his flaws and take accountability for it. We're teaching accountability 519 00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:51,080 Speaker 1: not just by the words, but by the actual actions. Well, 520 00:27:51,119 --> 00:27:55,560 Speaker 1: you know that's what these books about accountability. And and 521 00:27:56,680 --> 00:27:59,760 Speaker 1: I love the fact that there's a great clothes I 522 00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:02,439 Speaker 1: can we just I can't in the interview better than 523 00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:05,200 Speaker 1: what you just said. Because you you scream out the world, 524 00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:08,600 Speaker 1: communicate me to communicate, communicate, but also should be screamed 525 00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:12,320 Speaker 1: out the accountability, accountability, accountability, and you should be screamed 526 00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:15,920 Speaker 1: out if you're gonna bring children into this world accountability, 527 00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:20,880 Speaker 1: accountability as well as communicate, communicate, share responsibility. This book 528 00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:24,200 Speaker 1: is a beautiful book. I want to thank you for 529 00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:25,920 Speaker 1: allowing me to read it. I want to thank you 530 00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:28,400 Speaker 1: for allowing me to share my life into your book. 531 00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:32,159 Speaker 1: Because you poured into me words I was able to 532 00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:36,080 Speaker 1: pour back in conversation. A brilliant piece of work. Thank 533 00:28:36,119 --> 00:28:40,320 Speaker 1: you and God bless you. Okay, so well, I just 534 00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:42,560 Speaker 1: want to say coming from you, that means the world 535 00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:45,440 Speaker 1: to us. Now this is you know, you know, I 536 00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:48,000 Speaker 1: am where I am and um and people tell me 537 00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:50,720 Speaker 1: I'm a straight shooter, and I don't. I don't have 538 00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:54,240 Speaker 1: time to tell people a lie. But when I read 539 00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:57,440 Speaker 1: the truth and and I'm able to share it like this, 540 00:28:57,960 --> 00:29:00,800 Speaker 1: and I've never my wife hid this interview should tell 541 00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:04,240 Speaker 1: you he's never talked like this on the radio to nobody. 542 00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:08,480 Speaker 1: Thank you so much. She's just like you like and 543 00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:10,680 Speaker 1: you know you said you in the book and said 544 00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:13,360 Speaker 1: you didn't do social media. One part that's like you 545 00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:16,920 Speaker 1: can't find a picture of her nowhere. Okay, and so 546 00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:19,200 Speaker 1: but I'm gonna do my best and do what I 547 00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:21,800 Speaker 1: do here or thank you for the time again. You 548 00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:24,040 Speaker 1: guys are fantastic. Thank you for coming on money Making 549 00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:28,760 Speaker 1: Conversation Masterclass, wonderful. Thanks for having us about y'all. Stay safe. 550 00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:31,400 Speaker 1: If you want to hear or see this interview on 551 00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:34,040 Speaker 1: money Making Conversation, please go to money Making Conversation dot com.