Speaker 1: Hello, what's up, Deffie. What's going on with you?
Speaker 2: Nothing? Nah? I just moved back to Chicago from Alaska,
Speaker 2: and I thought it was funny that you said Alaska
Speaker 2: not a state, that is a city.
Speaker 1: You lived in Alaska? You said, yes, sir, Okay, what
Speaker 1: were you doing over there?
Speaker 2: I was working on automobiles and tires and doing drugs.
Speaker 1: What kind of drugs do they have in Alaska?
Speaker 2: They got a lot everything you can think of, a
Speaker 2: lot of psychedelics, ecstasy, a lot of hard drugs, mesynthetamine.
Speaker 1: Okay, were you doing like, were you doing the hard
Speaker 1: drugs or just the party ones?
Speaker 2: We're doing all of them?
Speaker 1: Sure, okay, are you still doing them? Oh?
Speaker 2: No, Sure, I am twenty three weeks clean.
Speaker 1: Nice.
Speaker 2: Nice, don't get me wrong.
Speaker 1: Okay, what did you did you get clean when you
Speaker 1: moved to Chicago?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: What do you do now in Chicago?
Speaker 2: The same thing. I work at a tire shop. I
Speaker 2: chained tires on semis.
Speaker 1: Okay, are you enjoying life? Are you happy?
Speaker 2: I'm a lot happier than I was a few years ago,
Speaker 2: that's for sure.
Speaker 1: What changed.
Speaker 2: I stopped doing hard drugs?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, Although like when you were doing can I
Speaker 1: ask you something, what's the hardest drug you've done?
Speaker 2: I would have to say nothing, famine and heroin at
Speaker 2: the same time.
Speaker 1: It's not a good thing to do that, but I
Speaker 1: now feel that's gotta feel awesome. Does it feel awesome?
Speaker 2: It? It felt at the time amazing. But I don't
Speaker 2: suggest people doing.
Speaker 1: I was, this is fucked up, but I was. I
Speaker 1: saw a guy on maybe maybe maybe he was on
Speaker 1: heroin or meth or whatever, and it was like in
Speaker 1: the I've never done it before, but I have to
Speaker 1: imagine in the moment it feels great. I like, so
Speaker 1: I guess what I'm what I'm what I was. What
Speaker 1: I was thinking was like my my, oh yeah, So,
Speaker 1: like my day is like at a baseline level of enjoyment.
Speaker 1: It's a very like flat line, right, And I have
Speaker 1: to imagine that that the guy doing heroin on the
Speaker 1: side of the road his day like most so I
Speaker 1: gotta imagine most of his day is like far below
Speaker 1: my baseline, but that one moment where he's you know,
Speaker 1: just high at ship is probably like way above my baseline.
Speaker 1: And so he's kind of going through high highs and
Speaker 1: low lows, and you know, I'm stopping at stop signs
Speaker 1: and you know, getting the groceries. That's okay.
Speaker 2: I would never that bad. I'm a functioning attic. I
Speaker 2: have to have a job to buy drugs.
Speaker 1: So you're just smoking weed now, yes, sir, Yes, sure,
Speaker 1: that's cool. Tell tell me about the rest of your life.
Speaker 1: Do you have friends? Your family?
Speaker 2: I have a That's part of the reason why I
Speaker 2: moved to Alaska. I have thirty six cousins and four
Speaker 2: uncles and six aunts in Alaska, but all I have
Speaker 2: in Illinois. Get my mom? Really, Okay?
Speaker 1: So you had a lot of friends and out of
Speaker 1: your cousins in Alaska and now it's just you, your
Speaker 1: mom and your dad.
Speaker 2: Uh yeah, But I mean I I still have friends
Speaker 2: out here. Like I ride my motorcycle with a few guys.
Speaker 1: Fuck, that sounds fun. What's that?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 2: I highly suggest getting a motorcycle. It's what hell got
Speaker 2: me sober, really really like honestly, like it replaced one
Speaker 2: bad choice with another. Like I'm still running from the cop.
Speaker 2: I'm still breaking the law doing one hundred and forty
Speaker 2: and fifty on the highway and it is villarating hard,
Speaker 2: bribing like a motherfucker while you and fifty blowing past
Speaker 2: the cop.
Speaker 1: Did you say your dick is throbbing hard while you're
Speaker 1: going one hundred and forty miles on the highway?
Speaker 2: Yes, sir, Yes, sir?
Speaker 1: Are you I I'm actually I'm actually sitting here debating
Speaker 1: which is worse A bit of a of a thing
Speaker 1: between those two things.
Speaker 2: That's what a lot of people tell me. They're like, man,
Speaker 2: those drugs are gonna kill you. I was like, well, honestly,
Speaker 2: what what we're killing me? Through? Or a motorcycle?
Speaker 1: I was on the internet. I watched the video of
Speaker 1: this was yesterday. I watched this video of a car
Speaker 1: side like a side swipe a motorcyclist and it just
Speaker 1: completely ripped their foot off.
Speaker 2: Sent you flying, didn't it?
Speaker 1: Kind of all right? So let's back up for a
Speaker 1: second here, what man, what what do you? What are you?
Speaker 1: What are you looking for? Here? I guess you you
Speaker 1: replaced one sort of dangerous activity with another dangerous activity.
Speaker 1: Are you like trying to feel a lust for danger
Speaker 1: or something?
Speaker 2: Honestly, that is something that I'm trying to figure out,
Speaker 2: like what is wrong with me? I'm like, I go
Speaker 2: to AA meetings and NA meetings and stuff, and I
Speaker 2: talked to other people, and I just I don't know
Speaker 2: what I'm looking for. I mean, obviously I'm an adrenaline junkie.
Speaker 2: Like something about me just constantly need to be in danger.
Speaker 2: I don't know why.
Speaker 1: M hm h When you go to these like AA
Speaker 1: meetings and NA meetings and therapy and whatever it is
Speaker 1: you go to, like, do they well, what what insight
Speaker 1: have they provided for you on those things.
Speaker 2: About remaining sober or what do you mean what.
Speaker 1: Do you mean by that about remaining sober and about
Speaker 1: like how to address this need for danger that you have.
Speaker 2: Oh, nobody has really addressed the need for danger or
Speaker 2: anything like that. They mainly just try to focus on
Speaker 2: getting another day sober without using drugs.
Speaker 1: Mhmm.
Speaker 2: That's mainly what they focus on. They really don't care
Speaker 2: that I have a seek for danger.
Speaker 1: Do you do you? Do you have any like do
Speaker 1: you have an any hobbies or do anything that's uh
Speaker 1: like not gonna.
Speaker 2: Go frisbee golf golf?
Speaker 1: Okay, let's bring get a golfing smoking weed and playing
Speaker 1: I'm I'm a big I'm a fan of smoking weed
Speaker 1: and playing frisbee golfing for you, I think I'm like.
Speaker 2: I'm black or white. Dude, if either there's zero or
Speaker 2: one hundred, I'm either chill or I'm balld to the wall.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
Speaker 2: No, there is no gray, there is no middle grounds
Speaker 2: from there.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah yeah No. I I I feel you.
Speaker 1: I feel you. Have you been like have you always
Speaker 1: been like that?
Speaker 2: Yet? My mother actually has a video of me trying
Speaker 2: to jump a picnic table at four years old for
Speaker 2: training wheels?
Speaker 1: Really really? Mm hmmm, So this has been this has
Speaker 1: been a part of you for a long time.
Speaker 2: Hold you now, I'm thirty four years old.
Speaker 1: Okay, word word? Mm hmm. Do you have like uh? Okay?
Speaker 1: So are you close with your mom and your dad? Who?
Speaker 2: Because they I'm I'm close with my parents. I have
Speaker 2: a very you know, honest relationship with them. I let
Speaker 2: them know the things that I do and the dumb
Speaker 2: ship that I do.
Speaker 1: What do they have to say about any of it?
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 2: They're happy that I'm not doing drugs rest for sure.
Speaker 2: They worry about me when I ride my bike because
Speaker 2: they know how much of a dumb ass I am.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. How often are you getting chased by cops
Speaker 1: and barreling down the highway.
Speaker 2: Every time I'm on that bitch.
Speaker 1: How often are you on that bitch every day?
Speaker 2: It's not raining?
Speaker 1: Oh my god? I mean hm hmmm, And you said.
Speaker 2: What's up there? Don't get me wrong, Like sometimes I
Speaker 2: ride like a normal person, like there's a time and
Speaker 2: no place. Like if I'm riding like that all the time,
Speaker 2: then obviously you know you can only roll the dice
Speaker 2: so many times before you fucking die. Like, I'm not
Speaker 2: trying to die. I'm not suicidal. I just enjoy the
Speaker 2: living life on yetge.
Speaker 1: Do you and I don't? I don't know if this is,
Speaker 1: you know, too invasive of a question or.
Speaker 2: Oh go ahead, bro, I'm an open book. What you
Speaker 2: want to know?
Speaker 1: Do you care about your life?
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 2: To a point, I mean, like with the way society
Speaker 2: is heading, in the way that the world in the
Speaker 2: direction that the world's going, Like I'm not I'm not
Speaker 2: a big fan of how everything's playing out. But at
Speaker 2: the same time, like, I know, everything happened for a reason,
Speaker 2: and you never know what's right around the corner, you know,
Speaker 2: like tomorrow might be the best day of my life
Speaker 2: or tomorrow might be the worst day of my life,
Speaker 2: but I'm still eager to see what's around the corner.
Speaker 2: But I'm going to do what I like to do
Speaker 2: and enjoy life as much as possible every second I can.
Speaker 2: I spent so long being miserable and hating life and
Speaker 2: on drugs, like now, like, I don't want to be miserable, Like,
Speaker 2: I'm happy, but I'm still chasing after something. I don't
Speaker 2: know what that something is, but hopefully someday I'll find it.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Do you do you ever, like, I mean,
Speaker 1: do you think about consequences?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, do you think about the consequences
Speaker 1: of of you know that kind of No.
Speaker 2: I was literally just having a conversation with one of
Speaker 2: my buddies about that. He was like, I definitely process
Speaker 2: consequences different than the average person, Like consequences are future
Speaker 2: deputy problems.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Can you recall any times in your life
Speaker 1: where you really felt consequences.
Speaker 2: Uh, consequences of my actions? Yeah? Yeah, there's been a
Speaker 2: few times, but I've been arrested, did the time for
Speaker 2: a bit off more than I could chew, and I
Speaker 2: ended up picking an l in live you know. Yeah, Wait,
Speaker 2: you gotta keep on keeping on, bro. You can't just
Speaker 2: throw on the path and the fuck up. That's how
Speaker 2: you live and you learn. The only way you're gonna
Speaker 2: learn is by sucking up.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm, God, I feel I I don't know what
Speaker 1: to I don't know what to say to you, definitely
Speaker 1: because you seem like a really cool guy and I
Speaker 1: really don't want to be scrolling through addit when they
Speaker 1: see a video of you, uh getting ran over by
Speaker 1: a car in your motorcycle.
Speaker 2: Well, you know what they say, Only the good die young,
Speaker 2: so I'll be around for a long long time.
Speaker 1: You're like that, You're like, what's that? Fucking uh? What's
Speaker 1: the You ever play The Lost in the Damned? The
Speaker 1: Grand Theft Auto?
Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah, yeah, granted, Yeah, Okay, you're you're You're a
Speaker 2: You're a real outlaw by acre man, you have you
Speaker 2: have no idea here.
Speaker 1: But don't you?
Speaker 2: I don't know, but I just want to tell you.
Speaker 1: Sure, go ahead, what do you want to tell me?
Speaker 2: I was gonna say that I'm just a big fan.
Speaker 2: I remember the first time I saw you, I was
Speaker 2: trolling through Facebook and I was tripping on mushroom and
Speaker 2: I was like, this fucking guy, this guy got knowledge,
Speaker 2: this guy's going look at you man, now you got
Speaker 2: a ship a ton of Bowers bro.
Speaker 1: Well, thanks man, I god, I don't know, I am
Speaker 1: huh hm hmm. Is there anything go ahead? Go ahead,
Speaker 1: you guys can say.
Speaker 2: I spent a lot of time on the internet, so
Speaker 2: I've seen some of your videos, probably from like two
Speaker 2: years ago, three years ago.
Speaker 3: So mhm.
Speaker 1: Is there anything anyone could say to you or any
Speaker 1: anything at all that would make you be like, you
Speaker 1: know what, I'm gonna try to find ways to uh
Speaker 1: engage in my desire for living my life to the
Speaker 1: fullest and uh being adventurous and all these things that
Speaker 1: are good things. But I'm gonna do it in a
Speaker 1: way where I'm not gonna kill other people or myself.
Speaker 2: Ah, probably not. Is that a bad thing? Now? Is that? Like? Well, like,
Speaker 2: what do you think should I chill the fuck out? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I do, I do. I you know, I'm try like
Speaker 1: I'm I'm such a whatever. I try not to yell
Speaker 1: at people or whatever, but yeah, I do. I totally
Speaker 1: think you should show the fuck out. You seem like
Speaker 1: a because I'm genuinely I'm thinking you seem like a
Speaker 1: cool guy man, and I hate for you to the
Speaker 1: fucking kill yourself or kill somebody else on the fucking motorcycle.
Speaker 1: I I just I mean, I hate motorcycles and I
Speaker 1: hate cars, and I hate going fast. I hate that.
Speaker 1: I just think it's so fucking dumb. And I and
Speaker 1: I and I and I hate it a lot. But
Speaker 1: the core of what you're talking about, okay, And here's
Speaker 1: where I think we might be aligned on something. You
Speaker 1: like excitement, you like adventure. You don't want to stay
Speaker 1: at home, you want to be out in the US,
Speaker 1: you want to be Yeah, I look, I'm with you too.
Speaker 1: I'm like that as well. I like adventure, I like excitement,
Speaker 1: I like doing things. But oh my god, there's a
Speaker 1: thousand different ways to scratch that itch to where you're
Speaker 1: you're talking about.
Speaker 2: Like bungee jumping and skydiving and ship I'm not a.
Speaker 1: Look, I'm not a big extreme sports skydivey bungee jumping thing,
Speaker 1: but even skydiving or bungee jumping is a thousand times
Speaker 1: safer than barreling your motorcycle down the highway.
Speaker 2: I don't know about that. You've done it, no, see,
Speaker 2: I'm that's next on the bucket list. Bro, It's coming up.
Speaker 2: Don't worry I'll tell you about the next time I
Speaker 2: do it. Okay, Well, but I will take into consideration
Speaker 2: what you say, mister Gecko.
Speaker 1: And okay, good, I will I will.
Speaker 2: Take you know, I'll slow it down a little bit
Speaker 2: for a week and if I get bored, funk that
Speaker 2: I'm going back to her.
Speaker 1: Okay, you'll give it. You'll do a week. I'll do
Speaker 1: a week for me.
Speaker 2: I'll do I'll do a week for.
Speaker 1: You, okay, because look, I would hate I'm very flattered
Speaker 1: by by you listening to this show and being a fan,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, can I what can I tell this
Speaker 1: guy to make him not?
Speaker 2: You know? It's it, bro'll like knock on wood. But
Speaker 2: I'll be around for a long time, Like I know
Speaker 2: when to hold him and when to fold him and
Speaker 2: when to do it, you know.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
Speaker 2: But I appreciate your concerns, and I would like I said,
Speaker 2: I I'll give it a week, sir. But if I'm bored,
Speaker 2: what am I supposed to do?
Speaker 1: There's a lot I'm gonna tell you as Look as
Speaker 1: somebody who I very recently have been having all these
Speaker 1: existential crisises of like fucking boredom or what is that
Speaker 1: with life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Look, I'm there's a lot.
Speaker 1: There's a lot, there's a lot.
Speaker 2: You get you three examples and I'll do them this week,
Speaker 2: I promise.
Speaker 1: All right, let's see here. Do you like traveling?
Speaker 2: I love traveling. Why do you think I went to Alaskans?
Speaker 1: Do you where? Where on their Where in the world
Speaker 1: have you not been to yet that you want to
Speaker 1: go to? Oh?
Speaker 2: I've always wanted to go to Prague, but I don't
Speaker 2: have the money for that right now?
Speaker 1: Okay, Uh, I'm sorry, let's think of it right now.
Speaker 1: All right, all right, that's fair. I respect that, all right.
Speaker 1: Things that you can do that are.
Speaker 2: Not for under five hundred dollars, things that can be.
Speaker 1: Things you can do under five hundred dollars that are
Speaker 1: not recklessly driving your motorcycle down the highway.
Speaker 2: Okay, I gotta beat that or come close.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, and by the way, hold on, I
Speaker 1: want you to. I just want to say something, even
Speaker 1: if I can't think, even if I am one hundred
Speaker 1: percent sure that you can find those things, even if
Speaker 1: I can't name them right now, but I'm gonna.
Speaker 2: Think about I know they're out there, but it's just
Speaker 2: like I like I go to work, I come home.
Speaker 2: I go to work, I come home. I don't really
Speaker 2: have much of a social life.
Speaker 1: Well could that I mean, dude, could that be it?
Speaker 5: Like?
Speaker 1: Are you just like brow?
Speaker 2: That's probably one. But I mean, like I don't drink
Speaker 2: alcohol and they don't have weed bars yet.
Speaker 1: Bro.
Speaker 2: Like, if there's a place I could just go and
Speaker 2: smoke weed with like minded people, I would be there,
Speaker 2: like the old man that you see at the bar
Speaker 2: from open to clothes. I'd be that fucking guy at
Speaker 2: the weed bar. But I don't drink alcohol and I
Speaker 2: fucking hate sloppy drunk people.
Speaker 1: Let's see, you're in your Illinois and Illinois is a
Speaker 1: legal state.
Speaker 2: Right, it is a legal state.
Speaker 1: Aren't there? Aren't there? Like? Are they're not weed lounges?
Speaker 2: I if there are? I, Like I said, I just
Speaker 2: got back to Chicago, uh later this year. So if
Speaker 2: there are weed lounges and somebody knows about it in
Speaker 2: the Chicago area, hit me up, leave a message in
Speaker 2: the comment or let me know because I.
Speaker 1: Don't know of a new ser Okay, all right, when
Speaker 1: I I'm gonna post this on YouTube and on the
Speaker 1: podcast and stuff, So go go go look at the
Speaker 1: YouTube comments and maybe somebody will will will know a
Speaker 1: thing because I would so I would so much rather
Speaker 1: you you know, make friends and hang out and get
Speaker 1: high in a room then be you know, doing the
Speaker 1: thing with the motorcycles. So all right, that's one thing.
Speaker 1: All right, we got one thing. We got one thing.
Speaker 1: Go to Okay, dude? Is that? I mean, look, is
Speaker 1: that really it? Are you just like, are you lonely?
Speaker 1: And this is like giving you some kind of dopamine
Speaker 1: that you're not getting from like socializing with people?
Speaker 2: Honestly now talking about this out loud, get go. I
Speaker 2: think you might be on the something okay, cause I'm
Speaker 2: feeling vulnerable right now. Like I didn't like the way
Speaker 2: that sounded. But you know what they say, if you
Speaker 2: don't like it, you don't like the truth, you know
Speaker 2: what they say, Dude, I might I just might be
Speaker 2: a lonely dude.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmmmm mm hmmm. I look, I have crazy ship
Speaker 1: that I do when I'm just like, you know, uh, lonely,
Speaker 1: like a fucking lonely we all do a thousand milky
Speaker 1: ways and ship.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: What the up?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess you said the same thing about me.
Speaker 2: Riding the motors ile going one hundred and fifty. But
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know. I need an excitement, I
Speaker 2: need that thrill.
Speaker 1: But you you need something to do. You need to
Speaker 1: get your bad Yeah, you need something to fucking do.
Speaker 1: That's not like work and go insane. I get I
Speaker 1: get it, because that's the thing. If you're if there's
Speaker 1: that whole thing of the Devil's idle hand whatever, what
Speaker 1: is it? Idle hand? Don't Yeah, yeah, that'll thing.
Speaker 2: I don't know the quote, but I know what you're
Speaker 2: talking about.
Speaker 1: And so it's like, if you don't have anything to
Speaker 1: do that's really engaging your brain, you're just gonna go
Speaker 1: into addict mode and do that whatever the extreme thing is.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you're right, you're onto something.
Speaker 1: So all right, there's the weed lounge. I got a question.
Speaker 1: I got a question for you. All right, right, well
Speaker 1: I'll get to my question. All right, weed lounge. Now,
Speaker 1: I'm just thinking of how now I'm just I was
Speaker 1: gonna say. I mean, I'm also I'm a big fan
Speaker 1: of if a place for you in the universe does
Speaker 1: not exist, you create it.
Speaker 2: I'm a big fan of Are you talking about smoking
Speaker 2: d MT?
Speaker 1: No, I'm not talking about smoking fucking DMD Oh my bad.
Speaker 2: That's what I thought you were going with that, like
Speaker 2: creating like I tried that with drug and it didn't
Speaker 2: really go out very well.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, here's okay. So here's here's what I
Speaker 1: Here's what I do mean by that is, if you
Speaker 1: let's say this weed lounge or whatever, it doesn't exist,
Speaker 1: could you create it? Could you do create a meet up?
Speaker 1: I know it's whatever. I don't know if that costs money.
Speaker 1: I mean it probably does. But or even if I
Speaker 1: meet up or like, could you create some kind of
Speaker 1: club or some kind of social gathering event thing whatever
Speaker 1: it is that that fulfills.
Speaker 2: This thing will come type ship.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I I don't.
Speaker 2: Think I have the status quo nor the financial to
Speaker 2: do that, but I mean, like, I'm sure I could try.
Speaker 2: You know what the word that can happen, like two
Speaker 2: people show up and then I got a new weak.
Speaker 1: Connect do you could literally you could literally like there
Speaker 1: was there's that what there's that always sunny episode where
Speaker 1: they are we Fly where they put out those flowers
Speaker 1: of just like uh, looking for cool dudes to hang
Speaker 1: out with or whatever it is. You could go on TikTok. Dude,
Speaker 1: you could literally do that. I mean you could do that.
Speaker 1: You could go on there's probably people listening to this
Speaker 1: podcast who are like, yeah, I'll hang out. I'll go
Speaker 1: get high with this guy in his basement. Fuck it,
Speaker 1: you know, you just need it. Sounds like you just
Speaker 1: bro it sounds like you just need like people to
Speaker 1: hang out with. So you're not you know, you're not wrong.
Speaker 2: But I don't think that would pick the entire situation
Speaker 2: because I would just be up being a bad influence.
Speaker 2: I'd be like, yeah, I want to go birth the law.
Speaker 1: Oh man, well it's a place to start, Okay. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what else? What else? What else? How do you feel about? Uh?
Speaker 1: Do you like cooking? Cooking? Yeah?
Speaker 2: I like eating, but not really cooking.
Speaker 1: Now, all right, what about what about? Uh? What about
Speaker 1: being you could become a foodie. You could sample.
Speaker 2: Local food, go around being a food critic.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you could be a food critic.
Speaker 2: That sounds terrible, Like we just talked about how I
Speaker 2: need excitement that does around.
Speaker 1: You're one hundred percent correct, that was a stupid idea.
Speaker 1: All right, Fuck what else? I don't know? Look again,
Speaker 1: I don't know off the top of my.
Speaker 2: Head, Like I said, I understand if you can't find them.
Speaker 2: I know there's stuff out there. I did you know?
Speaker 2: Like that's that's like right now, like you and I
Speaker 2: are having a debate, Like we're sitting here and we're
Speaker 2: trying to think of something, but yet we can't think
Speaker 2: of anything. So I'm jiggling my motorcycle key and it
Speaker 2: sound real good. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Dude, Come on, come on, all right, hold on, bear
Speaker 1: with me, get them all right, because because I want,
Speaker 1: I need you. Look there is hmm, I can't look,
Speaker 1: but all right, there are. I'm gonna go for it.
Speaker 1: There are an infinite amount of human experiences, like more
Speaker 1: than you could ever seek to, more than you could
Speaker 1: ever experience in several lifetimes. Do you agree with that?
Speaker 2: Absolutely?
Speaker 1: Okay, you absolut lutely you agree with that. Okay, So
Speaker 1: would not would it not be crazy, perhaps even a
Speaker 1: little arrogant to say to yourself, I am one hundred
Speaker 1: percent sure that out of the.
Speaker 6: Literally infinite human experiences, people to meet, places to go,
Speaker 6: things to do, there is none that come anywhere close
Speaker 6: to this horrible thing that of doing the motorcycle thing.
Speaker 2: How about you get on a motorcycle and you go
Speaker 2: one hundred I won't say one hundred and fifty. You
Speaker 2: do one hundred and twenty mile of an hour, And
Speaker 2: tell me you don't get the biggest erection you've ever
Speaker 2: had in your entire life.
Speaker 1: Buddy, what about six Flags? Have you ever been to
Speaker 1: six flags?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Go to six go to six flags? Taking uber to
Speaker 1: six flags?
Speaker 2: Dude, take an uber to six flag. Don't get on
Speaker 2: the bike. Oh man, I don't think that. I don't
Speaker 2: like I get the whole roller coaster and bungee jump
Speaker 2: in uh skydivings that all that stuff that's only a
Speaker 2: blip of a second to where when you're riding the motorcycle,
Speaker 2: I'm in control from the time that I start the
Speaker 2: bike until the time that I turn off the bike.
Speaker 2: I can give myself the amount of dope that I
Speaker 2: want and then stop it, to where if I get
Speaker 2: on a roller coaster, that dopamine only lasts for as
Speaker 2: long as that rides, and then I have to go
Speaker 2: and pay more money and stand in line, and do
Speaker 2: you right?
Speaker 1: That's get what I'm saying. Look, that's fair, and I
Speaker 1: get and I get that we could I get that
Speaker 1: we could sit here all day and I could try
Speaker 1: to give you specific things and you could refute them,
Speaker 1: but the general idea that I'm trying.
Speaker 2: Oh you're not wrong, Like you're right, getting you go
Speaker 2: onto something about the infinite possibilities of human connection and
Speaker 2: possible abilities of a million different things that I could do.
Speaker 1: Oh fuck, I accidentally opened up Premiere Pro on my computer.
Speaker 1: Hold on, all right, See that was that was a
Speaker 1: little See that's my version of of adrenaline as I
Speaker 1: open all the apps on my computer at the same time. Okay,
Speaker 1: here's what I Here's what I'm Here's what I'm trying
Speaker 1: to say is and I look, it's my ship is
Speaker 1: not as extreme as you know doing meth and heroin,
Speaker 1: but I understand in a way the basic thing of like,
Speaker 1: if your brain is not engaged, it's gonna go straight
Speaker 1: to the demons. It's gonna go straight to whatever those
Speaker 1: DearS like.
Speaker 2: Like I I've learned that the drugs are not the
Speaker 2: answer and it's not going to help me and progress
Speaker 2: me or take me where I want to be in life.
Speaker 2: So I'm not in a hurry to go back to
Speaker 2: the drug Like once you get past the withdrawal state,
Speaker 2: it's really it really gets the mindset and a lifestyle change.
Speaker 2: Like if you want to keep being a scumbag and
Speaker 2: hang out with certain people, then you're you're always going
Speaker 2: to be a part of that life. But if you
Speaker 2: yourself want to change, it's not that hard. At least
Speaker 2: it is for me. I know some addicts have it harder,
Speaker 2: but I don't plan on going back to the drugs
Speaker 2: anytime soon.
Speaker 1: And that's fantastic, it is, and and you should be
Speaker 1: proud of yourself for that. And I know that was
Speaker 1: really difficult. But you have a new challenge now. And
Speaker 1: we have a new challenge now, because look, dude, like this,
Speaker 1: drive in your motorcycle down one hundred and forty miles
Speaker 1: p You're gonna fucking you, have you?
Speaker 2: I've seen you can only roll the dice so many times.
Speaker 1: You can only roll the dice, somebody, and you know this,
Speaker 1: You can only roll the dice so many times. And
Speaker 1: so like you went and and also look you went
Speaker 1: from one high risk crazy activity to another. And so
Speaker 1: you've already you already know you have within yourself the
Speaker 1: ability to replace one thing.
Speaker 2: Energy somewhere else.
Speaker 1: Yes, to direct your energy somewhere else. I don't love
Speaker 1: the place that you've you've directed it too, but you
Speaker 1: know that you have that ability, and so I'm just
Speaker 1: saying we could you could find a different thing to
Speaker 1: channel that energy into. And maybe, as we've talked about,
Speaker 1: it's just friends or getting stoned or whatever. Man Like,
Speaker 1: why don't you just get high and run around in the.
Speaker 2: Woods or did that in Alaska? Bro?
Speaker 1: That sounds sick.
Speaker 2: It was twelve years in Alaska. It was. It was
Speaker 2: one of the best experiences I've ever had in my life.
Speaker 1: Do you feel like you were more stable in Alaska
Speaker 1: or in Chicago?
Speaker 2: It depends what you mean by that, Like financially and
Speaker 2: mentally stable, Yes, I'm better off in Chicago, but overall
Speaker 2: happy as a human being, I would happier being a wild,
Speaker 2: feral animal in Alaska. Like my soul was happy, you know,
Speaker 2: but I was doing terrible things. I didn't have a
Speaker 2: roof over my head. Just you get to a certain
Speaker 2: point that you want different things in my life.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Man Like, go ahead, now you said you
Speaker 1: said you do have friends in Chicago, right, Yeah, what
Speaker 1: what are they like? Do they are they are? Do
Speaker 1: you you see you're talking about being a bad influence
Speaker 1: on other people. Do you think other people are ever
Speaker 1: a bad influence on you?
Speaker 2: No? No, no, I'm always the one that's the bad influence. Like, like,
Speaker 2: so right now, one of my good friends that I'm
Speaker 2: hanging out is currently is He's Arabic, so he he
Speaker 2: doesn't drink, he doesn't do alcohol, drugs, he doesn't do
Speaker 2: any of that stuff. And I can you know, I
Speaker 2: convinced him to get a motorcycle. And now we're both
Speaker 2: riding and you know, going at irate speech and this kid,
Speaker 2: all this guy did would just go home, go to work,
Speaker 2: go home, go to work, go home, And like I
Speaker 2: was like, bro, you're just as depressed as I am.
Speaker 2: And now we're both riding motorcycle. Like I said, I'm
Speaker 2: the bad influence.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm, there's something for you. I don't know what
Speaker 1: it is. I really don't, but.
Speaker 2: There's I'm just trying to find it myself.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'll hope you find it before you end up
Speaker 1: on our slash crazy fucking videos. I really I really do, man,
Speaker 1: I really do. I would be so happy. I would
Speaker 1: be so happy to hear from you a year from
Speaker 1: now and you're like, you know what I actually got
Speaker 1: really into competitive yugi. Oh and now I don't uh
Speaker 1: kill people with that shadow.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, see I did the shadow around bust here
Speaker 2: when I was a teenage m hmm, what is there
Speaker 2: any if you want? If you want, I will, I
Speaker 2: will literally contact you one year from today and we
Speaker 2: can have an evaluation of exact conversation.
Speaker 1: Okay, I really seriously, I don't know what. Send me
Speaker 1: an Instagram thing or whatever a year from now and
Speaker 1: I'll be like, oh, ship, I'd be happy to hear
Speaker 1: that you didn't die.
Speaker 2: You know, And who knows, maybe I'll find my calling
Speaker 2: by them, or maybe I'll settle the fuck down. Who knows?
Speaker 1: Are you gonna watch the Are you gonna look in
Speaker 1: the YouTube comments to see if something?
Speaker 2: Literally?
Speaker 1: Dude with dreadlocks is like, man, come on over to
Speaker 1: the the Salty Dog Weed Lounge in Chicago. I don't
Speaker 1: know why. I don't know why I said the Salty
Speaker 1: Dog but whatever, are you gonna? Are you gonna look
Speaker 1: for it?
Speaker 2: I'm looking right now.
Speaker 1: Well, I haven't posted it yet, but I mean, I
Speaker 1: guess there's.
Speaker 2: The comics right now? What what am I? I downloaded
Speaker 2: the whole app just so I could watch you.
Speaker 1: I think a twitch yeah twitch Yeah.
Speaker 2: I literally downloaded it app just so I could watch
Speaker 2: you and call you and follow you.
Speaker 1: Bro here, All right, let's do this. I'm gonna I'm
Speaker 1: gonna take it to the chat real quick chat. Do
Speaker 1: you have any suggestions of things for deafie to do?
Speaker 1: I forgot we even we didn't even talk about you
Speaker 1: being deaf?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm seventy two hearing age.
Speaker 1: How are you hearing me right now?
Speaker 2: I have really good hearing as that cost forty thousand dollars?
Speaker 1: Holy shit? Did you have to like? How did you
Speaker 1: are you in like medical debt for that?
Speaker 2: No? I got help through the state.
Speaker 1: That actually cool.
Speaker 2: Nobody can Nobody has forty thousand dollars playing around if
Speaker 2: to hear somebody yell at them?
Speaker 1: All right? We got someone said hire a prostitute.
Speaker 2: Oh, her name's Betting and she doesn't have any teeth.
Speaker 5: Uh.
Speaker 1: We got a gun range.
Speaker 2: You gotta have a void card in Illinois.
Speaker 1: What else we got? We got mountain biking. It's pretty good.
Speaker 1: How about mountain biking?
Speaker 5: Got?
Speaker 1: Oh? What about this?
Speaker 4: M m A.
Speaker 1: I feel like you'd be I feel like you'd be
Speaker 1: a good.
Speaker 3: M M.
Speaker 1: A guy like you see it like you could fight?
Speaker 2: Oh I do like to fight. But hold on a second.
Speaker 2: There's some guy named mic m I l o K
Speaker 2: at eight twenty four. He said, you ride in Chicago
Speaker 2: and wants to come riding with me, will hit me up?
Speaker 2: I'm gonna put chat.
Speaker 1: Oh Jesus, this is not dude. I'm gonna be I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be scrolling through Reddit and it's gonna be three
Speaker 1: guys and they're all gonna get fucked up. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be like, damn it. My stream brought these people together
Speaker 1: to die.
Speaker 2: I put my number in the chat. So if you
Speaker 2: guys ever want to go riding and you're in the
Speaker 2: Illinois there, kick me up.
Speaker 1: Also, also if you're in the if you're in the
Speaker 1: Illinois area and you run a really cool knitting club
Speaker 1: and you want to invite that, that would be cool too.
Speaker 2: If somebody comes up to me and offers me the
Speaker 2: knit because of you, I'm gonna do it. Okay, Oh
Speaker 2: my god, I heard you on the Gato you want
Speaker 2: to come to and I'll be like.
Speaker 1: Fuck yeah, let's do good.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm really open minded to anything.
Speaker 1: Let me thank you. Let me. Thank you. Were you,
Speaker 1: by the way, were you born deaf or did you become?
Speaker 2: No? All right, so I have I got a rare
Speaker 2: to view called Kawasaki like the motorcycle, and it gave
Speaker 2: me a fever of one hundred and six and it
Speaker 2: melted the hair inside my cochlea.
Speaker 1: Holy shit? Yeah, how do you like hear stuff on
Speaker 1: the Does this make the motorcycle thing even more dangerous?
Speaker 2: No? Like I, like I said, I have hearing it
Speaker 2: and I can't hear. I just can't hear as well
Speaker 2: as the guy. I'm just like that old guy that's
Speaker 2: been surrounded by machine his whole life, you know, Like
Speaker 2: I'm like that like your grandpa. I can kind of hear,
Speaker 2: but I've just gotta yell a little bit.
Speaker 1: Mm okay, hm hm hm, Well, deafie definie, I don't know.
Speaker 1: Do you wanna do you wanna plug anything to use
Speaker 1: Instagram or anything like that?
Speaker 2: I do have an Instagram. Uh it's at de fie
Speaker 2: d staying with my Snapchat defu d.
Speaker 1: D e a f y d d e a f
Speaker 1: f y d. Well, if if you live in Chicago
Speaker 1: and you have some positive non uh keep hearing. Safety
Speaker 1: that you want to invite definite to go do. Uh?
Speaker 1: There he is dangerous? Well, definitely is a good yeah,
Speaker 1: not a non dangerous thing. Or if you know any
Speaker 1: cool weed Landes hit him up?
Speaker 2: Tone, why would donating blood be exciting our fun?
Speaker 1: Did somebody in the chat say donating blood?
Speaker 2: Yeah, they said donate blood.
Speaker 1: Hey, man, don't knock it to you trying any.
Speaker 2: Thinking about the Roman Empire.
Speaker 1: Uh well, definitely, I'm gonna stop looking at the chat
Speaker 1: right now, Deffie. I've enjoyed talking to you, man. I
Speaker 1: really hope that you find something. You seem like a
Speaker 1: cool guy. I want you to continue to live many
Speaker 1: years on the earth. Dude, is there anything else you
Speaker 1: wanted to say or talk about or anything like that?
Speaker 1: Before we go?
Speaker 2: I would just like to leave all your followers and
Speaker 2: everyone listening that everything does happen for a reason, whether
Speaker 2: you turn leapt or turn right or ghost or it
Speaker 2: will choose the next choice in your life. Everything happened
Speaker 2: for a reason.
Speaker 4: Hey.
Speaker 1: Also, if I go to Alaska, what should I do?
Speaker 1: I'm thinking about going there?
Speaker 2: Drugs? No, it depends on what part of Alaska are
Speaker 2: you going to? Are you gonna go? Like take a cruise.
Speaker 2: Are you going to go to like the island. Are
Speaker 2: you going to go to like Anchorage? Like? What are
Speaker 2: you trying to do in Alaska?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: Probably I want to go to the city and see
Speaker 1: like cool mountain shit. And all right, if you.
Speaker 2: Want to see the city and mountains, I suggest go
Speaker 2: into Anchorage. And weed is also legal in Alaska, so
Speaker 2: you can hit up the defense. We grab yourself some shit.
Speaker 2: I recommend Denally Dispensary right there. It's right there in downtown.
Speaker 2: And then yeah, and then you can go out to the
Speaker 2: Eagle River, go hiking up Baldy Mountain and get a
Speaker 2: beautiful view, smoke some of that awesome ganga and just enjoy.
Speaker 1: See you've helped me too, Deffy, because all this week
Speaker 1: I really was very existential and thinking that, you know,
Speaker 1: I don't know what else there is left to do
Speaker 1: in life. But now you've shown me that I can
Speaker 1: get high in Alaska, which is a reason enough to
Speaker 1: And if.
Speaker 2: You need people for harder stuff or other stuff, just
Speaker 2: let me know.
Speaker 1: Okay, I will thank you definitely.
Speaker 2: I got you. You're my favorite.
Speaker 1: Hey, you're my favorite. Uh got deaf god you too, man?
Speaker 1: H I like that guy. I don't know, dude, I
Speaker 1: I do, I met, but I hate I fucking hate
Speaker 1: like the whole like going one hundred miles an hour
Speaker 1: on the highway. I hate it. It's dangerous for you,
Speaker 1: it's dangerous for other people. It's just such a shit
Speaker 1: not good thing to do. And it's and it's a
Speaker 1: bummer because I like I like Defie. He's a cool guy,
Speaker 1: you know, and there's a lot of stuff that he
Speaker 1: I think he could do that would be you know,
Speaker 1: fun or exciting or or you know, worth worthwhile to do.
Speaker 1: That's not that And I hope he finds it if
Speaker 1: I hope I get the d M a year from
Speaker 1: now being like, hey, I'm really into competitive chess, boxing
Speaker 1: or whatever. The fuck. Yeah, I'm excited. Now that I'm
Speaker 1: done with my tour, I'm gonna try to go make
Speaker 1: more like uh fun geto videos in places. So I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go to I'm gonna try Alaska on that on
Speaker 1: that man's recommendation, and I'm gonna get high and look
Speaker 1: at a polar bear and uh, everything will hopefully feel okay.
Speaker 1: Thanks Stephie, Hey, everybody, it's Lyle. That is the conclusion
Speaker 1: of the phone call portion of this podcast. But get
Speaker 1: this now is the part of this podcast where we
Speaker 1: are going to transportate to the streets of a little
Speaker 1: place called Brisbane, Australia, in front of a little place
Speaker 1: called Hungry Jacks, which is what they call burger king
Speaker 1: in Australia. I made like an Instagram story saying where
Speaker 1: in Brisbane, Australia should I go to film stuff? And
Speaker 1: like one hundred people told me that I should go
Speaker 1: in front of this Hungry Jacks in this shopping mall
Speaker 1: and I did. And here's a little interview that I
Speaker 1: did with a person who was kind of telling me
Speaker 1: about some demons that she was facing and whatnot. And
Speaker 1: also we're interrupted at some point by a very drunk guy.
Speaker 1: So take a listen. What's your name?
Speaker 4: I'm Ash Ash, Nice to meet you, Nice to meet by.
Speaker 1: What's that again?
Speaker 4: I just learned that you're.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, And I learned that you're Ash. There we go.
Speaker 1: I was I all right, so just some backstorre and
Speaker 1: you saw this. I was setting up and without fail,
Speaker 1: everywhere I've gone to set up and do this in Australia,
Speaker 1: people have come to try to kick me out.
Speaker 3: But I was.
Speaker 1: And then but that and that woman came.
Speaker 4: I saw her. I was ready to I was ready
Speaker 4: to come and defend. You be like, nah, he's a
Speaker 4: therapy she.
Speaker 1: Well, she was. She was gonna kick me out. And
Speaker 1: like normally when somebody starts when I see a police officer,
Speaker 1: I'm just I shut down and I'm like it's over.
Speaker 4: Sheficer?
Speaker 1: Who was she was?
Speaker 4: She's just like power dynamic, you know, she's like male security. Yeah,
Speaker 4: not even male security. She's like mole. I said that.
Speaker 4: She's like just like a council worker.
Speaker 1: She had a she had a whole, she had a notebook. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: I guess it's I guess you can tell if somebody
Speaker 1: is a real police. Like in America, if some guy
Speaker 1: has like a big fucking gun, you're like, all right,
Speaker 1: I gotta stop filming at in front of this KFC
Speaker 1: or else they'll shoot me in the face.
Speaker 4: But a police have guns and tases.
Speaker 1: That this would be a really hilarious thing to get
Speaker 1: taste for. I will say that. I will say that.
Speaker 4: The Brisbane City place is the best place.
Speaker 1: No, she was cool. She was cool. I mean, but normally,
Speaker 1: when I see like a security guard, police officer, trying
Speaker 1: to kick me out. I'm like, I'm like, it's over,
Speaker 1: it's all. But I was like, I was like, I
Speaker 1: fucking I've getten kicked out of every single place I've
Speaker 1: tried to do this in Australia. And I was like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna fight back this time. I'm gonna fight back
Speaker 1: this time. And she told me I could be here
Speaker 1: for twenty minutes, and she told you, yeah, but I
Speaker 1: mean I'm gonna try to be here for an hour. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Brisbane's different, like a small where, like a country town.
Speaker 1: We'll see, she'll come. Maybe she'll come back and I
Speaker 1: can convince her to sit down and talk to me. Yes,
Speaker 1: you should, s Collins. She's not gonna want to. I
Speaker 1: know that for a fact.
Speaker 4: Oh that's okay.
Speaker 1: What's up? How's life?
Speaker 4: Life's really shit?
Speaker 1: Tell me why?
Speaker 4: Well, at the moment, I'm trying to find a psychiatrist
Speaker 4: and I've been told it's a six to twelve months wait,
Speaker 4: and my doctor thinks I've got psychosis.
Speaker 1: Really, why does he think you have psychosis?
Speaker 4: Because I'm like really delusional. So seeing a gecko just like,
Speaker 4: I was like, is this seven real?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Right? Right?
Speaker 4: That's fun? What are you having delusions about spirits? A
Speaker 4: lot of spirits at the moment, Okay, And like it's
Speaker 4: like I'm kind of thinking that, Like I can't believe
Speaker 4: I'm just talking to you about this. I'm kind of
Speaker 4: thinking that, like everything is connected and intertwined with like
Speaker 4: spirits and shit, and I'm terrified, Like there's specific clothing
Speaker 4: I can't wear because what if, like the spirits are
Speaker 4: gonna fucking get me.
Speaker 1: What are you like the spirit's getting you? What does
Speaker 1: that mean, Like they're gonna hurt you?
Speaker 4: Well, ghosts can't hurt people. Otherwise everyone would probably be dead, right,
Speaker 4: So how would they even get you? They just get
Speaker 4: in my head and just make me take my life.
Speaker 4: M this's got real deep, real fast. No.
Speaker 1: I mean you can talk about whatever you want to
Speaker 1: talk about it if you want to talk about it.
Speaker 1: Have you ever been visited by like a spirit?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 4: But but at the moment, in the house we live in,
Speaker 4: me and my partner, I think that there's most certainly
Speaker 4: a spirit and she just like agrees with me. I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 4: there's a spirit and she's like, yeah, yeah, I still agree.
Speaker 1: Do you think she's agreeing with you out of desire
Speaker 1: for a lack of conflict or do you think she
Speaker 1: genuinely thinks there's also a spirit.
Speaker 4: I think she's just agreeing with me to like avoid conflict.
Speaker 4: Like I think that is definitely what it is, which
Speaker 4: is nice.
Speaker 1: So when you went to the doctor and the doctor.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I see my doctor every single week.
Speaker 1: What did like, what did they tell you about the spirits? Then?
Speaker 4: I haven't really told her about it because I don't
Speaker 4: know how to like approach the subject probably with her,
Speaker 4: really yeah, because she she's really cool. She's a really
Speaker 4: amazing lady, and like she sees me every single week,
Speaker 4: tells me to book appointments and we're trying to avoid
Speaker 4: putting me on too much medication because I don't agree
Speaker 4: with meds. Sure, so, but I've told them about it
Speaker 4: and they're like, like they asked me if for her
Speaker 4: voices and I'm like, oh, maybe, not sure, and they're like,
Speaker 4: could it be your interior monologue or whatever it's called?
Speaker 4: And I'm like, uh, it could be. But like I
Speaker 4: just like wake up every morning with really bad thoughts,
Speaker 4: really negative thoughts, and it's like really fucking hard.
Speaker 6: You.
Speaker 1: I just I hope you take this as a compliment.
Speaker 1: You're the sanest person on psychosis I've ever met.
Speaker 4: That's an honor. That's such a compliment.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I mean because I don't I mean, I
Speaker 1: don't know. You've been talking to you for two minutes,
Speaker 1: but you you don't seem crazy.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I got to keep it all together. Yeah, I had
Speaker 4: to my whole life. I've been suffering with mental health
Speaker 4: for since for ten years. About mmmm, So.
Speaker 1: It's does anything make you happy or make you feel
Speaker 1: like chill?
Speaker 4: Not at the moment, not a lot of things make
Speaker 4: me feel very happy and chill. Like my partner, she's awesome.
Speaker 4: She makes me feel really happy and chill, and like
Speaker 4: reassures me and comforts me. And like going to the
Speaker 4: movie theaters that like relaxes me. I love watching TV
Speaker 4: shows on like YouTube and stuff because it takes me
Speaker 4: into a different world, right right, And like I watch
Speaker 4: a lot of TikTok, and TikTok kind of feeds into
Speaker 4: delusions as well.
Speaker 1: Okay, I was about to say, because your TikTok algorithm
Speaker 1: will like kind of show you what you're gonna be
Speaker 1: glued to. And the thing you're gonna be glued to,
Speaker 1: I assume is like things confirming that your delusions are real?
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, one hundred percent.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what kinds of like are you seeing content about
Speaker 1: like ghosts and shit?
Speaker 4: I not really because I try, I try and like
Speaker 4: not think about it too much, and then I take
Speaker 4: my I take my meds, and I'm like, okay, it's
Speaker 4: all good, everything is fine. So I haven't taken my
Speaker 4: meds today.
Speaker 1: Why are you? And but I know, whole personal thing
Speaker 1: you don't have to talk about if you want to,
Speaker 1: But like, if you do want to talk about it,
Speaker 1: why are you against taking your meds?
Speaker 4: I think I'm against taking meds because they I think
Speaker 4: that they're just trying to poison me, to be completely honest, And.
Speaker 1: Like when you say they're trying to poison you, do
Speaker 1: you mean like they are like yours? So you believe
Speaker 1: that your psychiatrist is like genuinely like malevolent and like
Speaker 1: out to get you and wants to poison you type
Speaker 1: of thing.
Speaker 4: Well, like, when I have not seen it psychiatrists at
Speaker 4: the moment, there's a long wait. But when I have
Speaker 4: seen psychiatrists in the past, they just drugged me up
Speaker 4: and just turned me into like a dope, which is
Speaker 4: really hard because like, I don't like being dope. I
Speaker 4: like to like feel life and live life. But it's
Speaker 4: really hard to do with meds sometimes.
Speaker 1: What what I mean? What a what are you want?
Speaker 1: Maybe I feel like there's gotta be whatever you say,
Speaker 1: it is got to be someone in the comments is
Speaker 1: gonna say something like I was on that before.
Speaker 4: I'm on Sarah quill Is, Like I'm on undred milligrams
Speaker 4: a day, which isn't really a lot, I don't think.
Speaker 4: And then I'm on another med called mini Press okay,
Speaker 4: and it's for lowering for blood pressure, but it helps
Speaker 4: with nightmares because I really really like vivid, vivid dreams
Speaker 4: and nightmares. What do you have nightmares about the other day,
Speaker 4: I had a nightmare that I was being accused of
Speaker 4: a murder, and like it was so real and like
Speaker 4: I was the one who, like I killed this dad
Speaker 4: and his kid, and I was like, it's like what
Speaker 4: the fuck? Like I was just full being accused of it,
Speaker 4: and that's all I really remember.
Speaker 1: In the dream. Did you did in the dream? Did
Speaker 1: you do it? Or were you like falsely accused?
Speaker 4: No, it's falsely accused. I didn't do it, Which was
Speaker 4: the weirdest part because I know that I didn't do it.
Speaker 1: Tell me about your Do you go to school or
Speaker 1: work or anything?
Speaker 4: Oh no, I can't work? Called doing school at the moment.
Speaker 1: When was the last time you did?
Speaker 4: I was working like last year and like November December,
Speaker 4: but like, my mental health just completely took me over.
Speaker 4: So it was like I was paranoid. The like my
Speaker 4: boss hated me. So it made the problems for me
Speaker 4: at work. And then I ended up ended up just
Speaker 4: having mental health days every single week and just not
Speaker 4: coming back. I ended up ended up going into work.
Speaker 4: I brought my shirt in and I told her. I
Speaker 4: was like, I'd like to talk to you. This is
Speaker 4: where it gets exciting. And then so I went up
Speaker 4: to talk to her and she's like, had like to
Speaker 4: talk to you in the back, and I'm like, n
Speaker 4: I prefer if we talked in front of people, because
Speaker 4: like she already like it already felt like she was
Speaker 4: against me. And then so she ended up saying to me,
Speaker 4: she's like, what did she say? I was like, you know,
Speaker 4: the way that you have treated me has been really
Speaker 4: unfair and just not very kind, because she genuinely was
Speaker 4: being really shitty towards me, and she wanted to fire
Speaker 4: me because I went to Brisbane because I wasn't living
Speaker 4: in Brisbane at the time. Yeah, and I went back
Speaker 4: to Brisbane to see my family and my younger sister
Speaker 4: was also graduating, and so I went to see them
Speaker 4: and she found out because there was a family friend
Speaker 4: that worked with me as well. And then so she
Speaker 4: fired me. And I went in to quit before she
Speaker 4: could fire me, because she told everyone else that I
Speaker 4: was fired before she told me. And in the end,
Speaker 4: I was like sort of going off and sort of
Speaker 4: talking about it, and she's like, oh, would you fuck off?
Speaker 4: And I was like, WHOA, you shouldn't say that. And
Speaker 4: then we went to the back room and I tried
Speaker 4: to quit and I ended up vomiting. It's really really shameful.
Speaker 1: I okay, I want to tell you about this, and
Speaker 1: this might this might be ignorant, but like in this
Speaker 1: moment right now, as I am talking to you, as
Speaker 1: I'm looking at you, you're like and even when I
Speaker 1: was talking to you before the camera's rolling, you were
Speaker 1: like smiling, and you seemed like and you're very socialable
Speaker 1: and you're very like, you know, uh good at like presenting.
Speaker 1: You say you feel, you feel it feels like you're here,
Speaker 1: like if you feel it seems you feel very present.
Speaker 4: Yeah, if that makes sense. Yeah, and so.
Speaker 1: I guess I'm trying to do you feel that way
Speaker 1: about yourself? Oh no, not at all, Okay, because I
Speaker 1: see that.
Speaker 4: Because for me, I'm like, I'm like, like I feel
Speaker 4: like I'm on another planet right now. I look at
Speaker 4: myself and like, oh, like feel myself on a TikTok
Speaker 4: or whatever. Yeah, and I'll be like, I don't even
Speaker 4: know who the fuck that is.
Speaker 1: Tell me about what are the other relationships you have
Speaker 1: besides just your partner, Like are you equal with your parents?
Speaker 1: Your friends?
Speaker 4: My dad acts like a twenty year old's stating a
Speaker 4: twenty nine year old at the moment. Okay, so that's
Speaker 4: really weird. And he tells me about it. I was
Speaker 4: like doing MDMA and how I should come out and
Speaker 4: how he's having all these three ways, and I'm like, wow, okay, wow,
Speaker 4: thanks dad, love that.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Thanks calling your mom?
Speaker 4: Yeah, things are right with my mom. She just I
Speaker 4: don't really like my stepdad.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 4: Sorry.
Speaker 1: Now you have your friends, your homies, Yeah.
Speaker 4: I've got a lot of friends.
Speaker 1: Okay, cool. Oh yeah, I.
Speaker 4: Think I've got a lot of friends because all my
Speaker 4: friends understand and like how bad my mental health is.
Speaker 4: So like I've been a shitty friend and I've been
Speaker 4: a shitty partner and I know that and I can
Speaker 4: acknowledge that, but like they stick around because like they
Speaker 4: know that I I'm not They know that I'm not
Speaker 4: good at isolate a lot, and I like don't see
Speaker 4: my friends for months, if not your years.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 4: It's hard and it gets really hard for my partner.
Speaker 1: How long have you been with your partner for?
Speaker 4: We've been together? What lit?
Speaker 1: How drunk are you at fucking four pm?
Speaker 5: Smash?
Speaker 3: I'll just smashed to four packs of four wood sorts?
Speaker 3: All right?
Speaker 4: Nice?
Speaker 1: Nice, Yeah dude, we did it. What are you? What
Speaker 1: are you doing out on the town.
Speaker 5: To go to the mid tonight?
Speaker 3: The Mets A shithold, mate, I can't be fun on
Speaker 3: the way to Goldie, I'm saying, in Brisbane tonight.
Speaker 4: Mate, then go to like prohibitions.
Speaker 3: I've got the Meriton. You know the Meritan just ran
Speaker 3: near the corner from the Met. Yeah, That's where I'm
Speaker 3: saying tonight, and comba the frog is coming.
Speaker 1: What's where? What's what's the Meraton?
Speaker 4: It's just a hotel.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, where are you? Where are you from? Where
Speaker 1: are you from?
Speaker 3: I'm from the Meriton, but I'm going to the met
Speaker 3: tonight and me and fucking comit the frog?
Speaker 1: Are you coming to pick up some are you? Are you?
Speaker 1: Are you? Are you here alone?
Speaker 5: Mate?
Speaker 2: Now?
Speaker 3: I'm here to I'm meeting up with a mate at
Speaker 3: south Bank soon, but I'm just getting smashed before tonight.
Speaker 4: Mate, How are you going to make it out?
Speaker 1: He asked?
Speaker 2: How?
Speaker 1: He asked? How you're gonna make it out?
Speaker 5: How am I gonna make it out?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: The only way that I'm going to make it out
Speaker 3: was the kermit frog magician.
Speaker 1: Mate, that actually makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, can you help me to.
Speaker 5: Not he's my wingman, he's my wingmen?
Speaker 4: Are you talking to I'll mate?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Well? Wait? How many? How? What? How many beers
Speaker 1: have you had today?
Speaker 3: I've had I've had too four packs of two percent
Speaker 3: of wood socks.
Speaker 4: How many percentage drinks are they I've had?
Speaker 5: Wait? What do you mean?
Speaker 4: Like? How many standard drinks is in one?
Speaker 1: Two?
Speaker 5: And I've had.
Speaker 1: So that count? That's about it? That's to four? Everybody?
Speaker 1: Everybody here is doing math to see how up this goes?
Speaker 1: What's your what's your name?
Speaker 5: Man?
Speaker 1: From? What's what's your dream? In life?
Speaker 2: Dream?
Speaker 5: And life is to get a job? Mate?
Speaker 1: You've got a job. I don't know if this is
Speaker 1: going to help you.
Speaker 3: I've got to jomp into view on Wednesday for a
Speaker 3: warehouse job.
Speaker 4: Good money?
Speaker 1: Oh cool man? What? What what's the what's the We've
Speaker 1: only just got in a jail us. Oh what were you?
Speaker 1: What were you doing in jail?
Speaker 5: Fucking some bad things that I can't mention?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Can you tell us one?
Speaker 5: I did some armed robberies?
Speaker 4: Should have do that? What?
Speaker 5: I've just spent two years?
Speaker 3: I did a year and a half in New South
Speaker 3: Wales jail, came up to Queensland for four days, just
Speaker 3: did ten months.
Speaker 5: Just got a gel and Arfa.
Speaker 4: Gory, Arthur gory. That's a ship.
Speaker 1: I being in.
Speaker 3: Jail since I was eighteen, just got out and I'm
Speaker 3: parting hard.
Speaker 1: What do you have a what's what's the so? So?
Speaker 1: What's the warehouse like? Is it?
Speaker 4: Ah? No?
Speaker 3: No, I've got a job interview on Wednesday for the
Speaker 3: warehouse job.
Speaker 5: I don't know. It's for packing aluminion and other stuff.
Speaker 1: Oh, okay, are you excited? Are you happy to be
Speaker 1: out of jail?
Speaker 3: I'm fucking excited, bro, so I can get some money
Speaker 3: in my pocket.
Speaker 1: Nice man, what's your like?
Speaker 3: It's like he's got a fucking Acri bracelet on right
Speaker 3: the la Wait what's that on your leg?
Speaker 5: Can't what was it?
Speaker 1: Oh? Yeah, he's got an ankle breas TV mate.
Speaker 4: What's DVO Domestic Violet sorder?
Speaker 1: Oh jesus, what is it for?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: Bruh.
Speaker 1: I think I think it's just I think he just
Speaker 1: sprained his ankle.
Speaker 5: Yeah, they don't worry about the Joel antics mate.
Speaker 1: What how are you like? Are you trying to stay
Speaker 1: out of jail? Do you think you'll be able to
Speaker 1: stay out this time?
Speaker 5: I'm trying to stay out of jail.
Speaker 3: Okay, good because I want to change my life and
Speaker 3: actually do something rot good because ever since twenty eighteen,
Speaker 3: I've been going in and out of jail. Sin soul
Speaker 3: was twenty eighteen, so I've been going in out of
Speaker 3: jail for the last six years.
Speaker 1: What do you want to what do you want to
Speaker 1: do to make things right?
Speaker 3: I want to get a job, I want to pay
Speaker 3: tax and fuck the matrix.
Speaker 1: Mighte fuck the matrix.
Speaker 5: What's stuck in the matrix? Mate?
Speaker 1: I know what's your what's your plan? What's your plan
Speaker 1: to to get out of the matrix? One?
Speaker 3: My plan is to get out of the metric is
Speaker 3: to make a load of money, save a load of money,
Speaker 3: and join Andrew Tight's team.
Speaker 1: Jesus, come on, man, you're going back to come on him,
Speaker 1: come on, listen, can before we go? I thank you.
Speaker 1: I genuinely hope that you achieve your goal of turning
Speaker 1: it all around. I want to turn for I hope
Speaker 1: you do. I really do, and I hope I hope.
Speaker 3: You because fuck crime, fuck drugs by drugs, have a
Speaker 3: good one.
Speaker 4: Alcohol is a drug.
Speaker 1: She got it? Oh, never really gonna kicks out? All right,
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you, it's it's sorry, it's all right,
Speaker 1: it's all right, it's all right. Looks have a good one.
Speaker 1: Yeah you too, man, take.
Speaker 4: Care, Okay, that's enough.
Speaker 1: Ken Is that that might be one of the spirits.
Speaker 1: That's definitely, that's definitely one of the that's definitely one
Speaker 1: of the spirits. Does that? Oh man, I don't even know.
Speaker 1: I don't even know where to be, where to begin, I.
Speaker 4: Don't even know what to say that. I'm speechless. Yeah,
Speaker 4: Andrew tait comment got me. That really got me.
Speaker 1: I feel you know, I don't know because I want.
Speaker 1: I love for that guy to wake up in the
Speaker 1: morning and be like, oh ship, I really gotta not
Speaker 1: do that.
Speaker 4: He's gonna oh yeah.
Speaker 1: I want him because I think within him he genuinely
Speaker 1: does maybe want to turn it around, but he's misguided.
Speaker 4: Yeah, he's very misguided. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but that's okay.
Speaker 4: Everyone can change.
Speaker 1: I think so too.
Speaker 4: Fucking hell, man, are you okay?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: I feel great?
Speaker 4: You feel great?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I feel great. I felt The only thing is that
Speaker 1: that lady is watching us right now. But I'm gonna
Speaker 1: keep Yeah no, don't don't look at keep again.
Speaker 4: Okay, so good, so good?
Speaker 1: But yeah, what were we talking about before that guy came?
Speaker 1: I don't even remember.
Speaker 4: I don't even remember, babe, Do you remember what we
Speaker 4: were talking about?
Speaker 1: That guy's crew. That guy's not even didn't even sound
Speaker 1: like he's Australian. It sounds like he's.
Speaker 4: From He's Oh that's what a bogan is.
Speaker 1: I've been hearing that. I've been hearing that.
Speaker 4: I've been hearing that bogan same sort of way.
Speaker 1: Playing let's see, Oh we were talking about you. What
Speaker 1: you know. What it's funny is I guess, I guess.
Speaker 1: What I've learned from the past ten minutes or so
Speaker 1: is like, if you look, if you take anything away
Speaker 1: from this experiment, is no matter how bad you feel
Speaker 1: like you're doing, you're doing better than that. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm doing Yeah yeah. I haven't been in and
Speaker 4: out of jail for five years.
Speaker 1: Do you how do you? How do you feel? Ash?
Speaker 4: I feel like I need to take my meds and
Speaker 4: have a sleep good again the other night.
Speaker 1: Can I can I see it later? I can't do
Speaker 1: it right now?
Speaker 4: Consent?
Speaker 5: I said, Oh, that's meaning TikTok from a famous to.
Speaker 4: Last Do you need a medal? Well, I'm not giving
Speaker 4: you one.
Speaker 5: Cool to a real echo?
Speaker 1: Get get Yeah, dude. It's like it's like the thing
Speaker 1: on your on your thing.
Speaker 3: He's posing as an echo, but he's meant to be
Speaker 3: comit the frall.
Speaker 4: I think he's siguatededly is maybe killed by mental health.
Speaker 1: Now we don't don't do that. Don't do that, don't
Speaker 1: do that. Well, Ash, you're doing Ash. I think you're
Speaker 1: doing great. I think you're doing great. Dude, is there
Speaker 1: anything else you want to say to the people of
Speaker 1: the computer before we go.
Speaker 4: Everything's a choice. So it that's it.
Speaker 1: Nice to meet you, Ash, Thank you for talking to
Speaker 1: a GEcho. I appreciate it, of course, have a good day.
Speaker 1: Hey it's me again, And I just wanted to say
Speaker 1: that if you want to listen to that full listen
Speaker 1: to all the interviews that I did in Brisbane, Australia
Speaker 1: outside of that burger king, you can go to YouTube
Speaker 1: dot com slash Lyle forever, or just go click the
Speaker 1: link in the episode description and you can find the
Speaker 1: full video there. All right, that's it. That's the end.
Speaker 1: I kind I kind of I'm gonna be. I don't
Speaker 1: like recording myself just like alone into my phone. It
Speaker 1: feels weird, you know. I like, I like talking to people.
Speaker 1: I like when there's more than one person. I feel
Speaker 1: weirding to myself to this phone. I actually I was wondering,
Speaker 1: I'm like, could I AI, Could I train an AI
Speaker 1: robot to just say these parts of the podcast for
Speaker 1: me so that I don't have to do it, so
Speaker 1: that I can just you know, do the talking to
Speaker 1: people and not introducing the talking to people. Does anyone
Speaker 1: know how to do that. Yeah, I'm not. I'm probably
Speaker 1: not gonna do that. I'll play sound weird. It's fun
Speaker 1: to rant at the end of the episode, though, because
Speaker 1: I mean, this doesn't even I'm not obstructing any further
Speaker 1: content with this rant. This is at the end. I
Speaker 1: can just keep ranting for like a while, and I'm
Speaker 1: not in the midd you can click off. There's nothing
Speaker 1: after this rant. There's no phone call or further content
Speaker 1: after this. This is the end of the episode. I
Speaker 1: don't feel and it might drop off, and I don't
Speaker 1: know if that affects algorithm. I don't even care. I'm
Speaker 1: just I'm I'm having a you know, I'm having fun
Speaker 1: ran thing right now. I wasn't before. I was kind
Speaker 1: of dreading the ranting because I was trying to think
Speaker 1: of like something cool or funny to say. But now
Speaker 1: it doesn't mean I don't have to. I don't. I'm
Speaker 1: not operating under that pressure anymore because this isn't even anything.
Speaker 1: There's no pressure for me what I'm saying right now
Speaker 1: to be of any amount of entertainment value. It's at
Speaker 1: the end of the episode, so there's this is this
Speaker 1: is a bonus. This isn't. What I'm doing right now
Speaker 1: is not part of an episode of anything. It's just
Speaker 1: a rant. I'm hungry. I wonder what I should eat tonight. Honestly, honestly,
Speaker 1: talking about burger king and hungery Jackson stuff, it made
Speaker 1: me want to go get some burger king so I
Speaker 1: might get burger king. This isn't even This is not
Speaker 1: an ad for burger king. By the way, this is
Speaker 1: this isn't anything. All right, thanks for listening to my podcast.
Speaker 4: Goes on the line taking your phone calls every night.
Speaker 4: The repin Can goes to what his ride's teaching you
Speaker 4: about in Every Life, but he's not really an expert.