Speaker 1: Hello the Internet, and welcome to season two seventy nine,
Speaker 1: episode one of Dirt Ali's Eye Guys Stay production of iHeartRadio.
Speaker 1: This is a podcast where we take a deep dive
Speaker 1: into America's shared consciousness. And it's Monday, March thirteenth, twenty
Speaker 1: twenty three, Monday the thirteenth. Watch out everyone. My name's
Speaker 1: Jack O'Brien ak ground control to stunt man Tom, the
Speaker 1: Russians beat you and Elon check your Theaton's no big
Speaker 1: baffo flick for you. That is courtesy of Scoutie Magoo
Speaker 1: and in honor of the Russians beating Tom Cruise to
Speaker 1: space in making a film on the International Space Station.
Speaker 1: Sorry Tom, not fast enough, buddy. Holy shit, you guys.
Speaker 1: We it's a banger. This this fine Monday in our
Speaker 1: second seat, co hosting today. So he's promised he's going
Speaker 1: to be very serious and on topic and just on
Speaker 1: the rails. We're thrilled to be joined by mister Colt
Speaker 1: Group got me like himself, the advice King. The poetry
Speaker 1: window is open because it's Chris motherfucking Cropt. Hello, I
Speaker 1: am the co host. Hello, Hello Chris, I am Chris
Speaker 1: Crofton the co host of the DAILI side guys, and
Speaker 1: I am very serious and handsome. Yeah, you're wearing a
Speaker 1: collared shirt and shit, look you look great. Man. You
Speaker 1: guys are both hoton miles. I know how this works.
Speaker 1: I gotta be hot. I gotta be hot. It's serious.
Speaker 1: You also have one of those microphones that like lights up.
Speaker 1: I have a gaming colors. I have a gaming microphone,
Speaker 1: and I've never gamed in my fucking life. It's very stari.
Speaker 1: I haven't game since Atari. I haven't game since combat,
Speaker 1: since two cubes shot cubes at each other. Yeah, those
Speaker 1: are the days. Well, I'm here, I'm here. I'm like
Speaker 1: so excited to be hosting the Daily's eye guys. This
Speaker 1: is incredible. I'm climbing the ladder. I'm hoping to be
Speaker 1: the CEO of iHeartRadio probably shortly. That's the first step,
Speaker 1: is uh yeah, co hosting the Daily secues in our
Speaker 1: third seat. Another Tdzy Hall of Famer, brilliant stand up
Speaker 1: comedian you've seen on all the TVs and stages. It's
Speaker 1: Blair Saga the Daily guys. It's great to be back.
Speaker 1: I miss you guys so much. Oh my goodness, it's
Speaker 1: so great to have you back? What a what a
Speaker 1: combo we have? Hey, Blair the booking guys, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: know what a surprise mister Chris Crofton. Uh, this is exciting.
Speaker 1: This is I mean, this is We'll see, We'll see
Speaker 1: how this goes. This is a concoction. Yeah, hell of
Speaker 1: a hell of a Friday ak Monday Monday. Yes, a
Speaker 1: lot of Friday energy coming to you on this month.
Speaker 1: Brilliant case of the Mondays today, if that's right? Yeah,
Speaker 1: the Monday scari's people say that, don't they get? Yeah,
Speaker 1: Sunday scary, Sunday scary? What's Monday? Then the Monday just
Speaker 1: a case of the Mondays? Oh yeah, I got a
Speaker 1: case of they just don't even come up with a word. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And mordant Mondays manic Mondays. That that seemed off to me.
Speaker 1: My Mondays are never manic. There other Mausoleum Monday, Yeah,
Speaker 1: Mausoleum Monday is pretty good. So yeah, Blair is like
Speaker 1: I saw Blair, I met well, I don't know Blair, well,
Speaker 1: I just know her from Daily's like guys, but I
Speaker 1: met her through Johnny Pemberton and uh and um and
Speaker 1: well at least he told me about her comedy and stuff. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I just am a big fan and I'm a big
Speaker 1: fan of us. Any comedy that fucking Blair does about
Speaker 1: food is all. I mean. I just wish she did
Speaker 1: whole specials about just food, and that's all about French fries,
Speaker 1: shoe string fries. For out. Blair's outrage about shoe string
Speaker 1: fries is one of my favorite fucking things. I don't
Speaker 1: think you want to humiliate me. I mean, that's my favorite.
Speaker 1: And this is the job of the co host, is
Speaker 1: that you talk about the favorite jokes that the guest
Speaker 1: has done and then do an impression of them. Is
Speaker 1: that right? That's usually I'm so flattered I that you
Speaker 1: even remember that joke from a long time ago, because
Speaker 1: I can barely remember what I had for breakfast this morning,
Speaker 1: so look gratitude. I don't really like shoe shing fries. Um.
Speaker 1: My thing about them, honestly is that you have to
Speaker 1: get a whole It's humiliating again because you have to
Speaker 1: get a whole handful just to get the equivalent of
Speaker 1: one regular fry. It's like a horse eating Hey, It's
Speaker 1: like you, It's it's hell, it's horror horrible. Hell. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I like it also, just because it's like, how often
Speaker 1: are you hanging around roller rinks or something? You know
Speaker 1: what I mean? Like, when is this coming up? I
Speaker 1: got it wrong, Blair only eats at the finest steakhouses. Okay,
Speaker 1: you're talking about I do love us. I do love
Speaker 1: a stackhouse. Yeah, you're talking about amused bushes. I'm so
Speaker 1: sick of amused bushes. All right, Blair, we're gonna get
Speaker 1: to know you a little bit better in a moment. First,
Speaker 1: we're gonna tell our listeners a couple of things we're
Speaker 1: talking about today, or maybe not. I don't know how
Speaker 1: deep we're gonna get into the dock, because that's a
Speaker 1: it's a chaotic episode. Good we're gonna talk about There's
Speaker 1: a good Twitter thread that I'm just gonna like read
Speaker 1: to you. But it's from a climate journalist about how
Speaker 1: the Netherlands was like this traffic quagmire, like they had
Speaker 1: just like filled their city with all these like scroads
Speaker 1: and highways and shit like that. And I think I
Speaker 1: had always associated the Dutch with like bicycles and windmills
Speaker 1: and shit, but they like had a brief dalliance with
Speaker 1: our style of city. The American style of city and
Speaker 1: were able to, you know, fight back from that. So
Speaker 1: I just wanted to It felt like a little bit
Speaker 1: of good news, So I'm gonna talk about that. The
Speaker 1: BBC published an article about this Canadian study that said, actually,
Speaker 1: there was no mental health crisis from the COVID pandemic.
Speaker 1: Everything's okay, so, which was news to people who are
Speaker 1: still suffering from a mental health crisis from the COVID pandemic.
Speaker 1: So we might talk about that. Probably not, Actually what
Speaker 1: was the study from. It was from Canada, it was public.
Speaker 1: The BBC like published a head line that was somewhat
Speaker 1: misleading because it was like the headline said mental health
Speaker 1: crisis from COVID pandemic was minimal dash study, and then
Speaker 1: the study itself is like we only asked rich people
Speaker 1: in high income European and Asian countries, so this is
Speaker 1: a very limited sample size. It's harder to it's harder
Speaker 1: to get cigars, which is contributing to my angst. That's right,
Speaker 1: why I haven't been to my favorite steakhouse, haven't had
Speaker 1: an amous boush is so unamoused right now. I would
Speaker 1: love to talk about that because I the fact that rich,
Speaker 1: the fact that people, rich, rich people thought the biggest
Speaker 1: part of the pandemic. There was a problem for them
Speaker 1: as the restaurants needed to be opened, and they did
Speaker 1: that whole we need to open the restaurants for like
Speaker 1: the sake of the workers, and all these lies they
Speaker 1: came up with just because they missed their favorite chef
Speaker 1: or whatever. They got to say hi to the chef.
Speaker 1: That's they live. They live for that shit were We
Speaker 1: might talk about Joe Rogan's new comedy club, mech Comedy Mothership,
Speaker 1: because that opened in the past week or so. People
Speaker 1: were buying tickets for five hundred dollars. So Roseanne bar
Speaker 1: was one of the early headliners. And I just like
Speaker 1: to talk about stand up with other stand up comedians
Speaker 1: and kind of get you guys opinion. How many jokes
Speaker 1: are you stealing from Rosanne's Fox News set? You know,
Speaker 1: like it was pretty good. Pronoun that job. That's the
Speaker 1: punchline of everything. My pronouns are get a job. I
Speaker 1: only saw that twenty second clip, but I can only
Speaker 1: know in my heart that that's the punchline to every joked.
Speaker 1: The special Yeah, my pronouns are kiss my ass is
Speaker 1: their favorite thing to say. I mean Ted Cruise had
Speaker 1: it and then she said it in a stand up special.
Speaker 1: I know Ted Cruise the famously the most unfunny person
Speaker 1: alive living on the planet today, except for that time
Speaker 1: that he tried to dunk a basketball and came like
Speaker 1: a three feet short. That I was like, wait, is
Speaker 1: is he a physical comedy genius? What the fuck is happening?
Speaker 1: But I think that was inadvertence. He just yeah, gave
Speaker 1: me a good laugh. Jack. Wow, we might even talk
Speaker 1: about Girl Scott cookies. Oh yeah, the Mandalorian, all of that,
Speaker 1: plenty more. But first, Blair, we like to ask our
Speaker 1: guests what is something from your search history? And you're
Speaker 1: our guests, so I'm asking what's something from your search history? Okay, Um,
Speaker 1: can you take Rodeola with well? Beautron was and the
Speaker 1: answer is no, from what I was able to ascertain.
Speaker 1: So if anyone wants some scientific advice, you heard it,
Speaker 1: hear f us. Yeah, we do tend to like to
Speaker 1: give out medication. Yeah, from a medical professionals. Yeah, what
Speaker 1: was the first one? Um, Rodeola? It's from what I
Speaker 1: understand and adopted jenic herb and you know my favorite
Speaker 1: social media I really kind of don't go on Twitter
Speaker 1: and Instagram as much I love TikTok because I think
Speaker 1: it's really like not that toxic. And so then I
Speaker 1: find out about all this weird shit on there, and
Speaker 1: then I have to try and weed through what's not
Speaker 1: going to kill me, you know. M Rodeola is a
Speaker 1: great name, yeah for anything it is. It's got the
Speaker 1: word rodeo in it. Yeah. It appears to be a supplement,
Speaker 1: like you know, you get it from places. When I
Speaker 1: google rodeola and spell it just completely wrong that they're like,
Speaker 1: do you mean like rodeola Athletic Greens supplements. So that's
Speaker 1: what we're saying with Athletic Greens. Not to shock anyone here,
Speaker 1: my job. We just justin just had to edit out
Speaker 1: thirty seconds of stunt silence. It's something like great Tom right,
Speaker 1: you know about Great Tom k r A t O.
Speaker 1: M oh no, oh no, I don't know what that is. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's all over my neighborhood. That's like a Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: selling it like vape shops, but it's supposed to like
Speaker 1: it's supposed to be an herb, but it's anyway, I've
Speaker 1: just found out about it because it's like advertised all
Speaker 1: over my neighborhood in Tennessee. I live in like a
Speaker 1: neighborhood that's like mostly where you can get keys made
Speaker 1: and get Craig Tom. Yeah. Yeah, I've known people who
Speaker 1: have been into that it's some kind of fake weed
Speaker 1: or something like that. It's some kind of like thing
Speaker 1: where you can get a story, you can get like
Speaker 1: a throwing star in a Craig Tom. But it's like
Speaker 1: like a psychoactive sort of like a sleek some people
Speaker 1: smoke at some people. I was wondering if people knew
Speaker 1: what it was because it's all over my street, yeah,
Speaker 1: which just gives you an idea of like, I'm in
Speaker 1: a really really wealthy neighborhood. Blair, what is something that
Speaker 1: you think is overrated? Well, Jock, I'm so glad you
Speaker 1: asked one day. Oh good, I think it's overrated. All right.
Speaker 1: I got what I would call a massive bone to
Speaker 1: pick with these eight ounce plastic water bottles. If you
Speaker 1: are drinking eight ounces of water, you don't deserve a
Speaker 1: single use plastic, you little fucking baby. I'm so mad
Speaker 1: at you. I need at least four of those little
Speaker 1: loser water bottles to even gently let my palette and
Speaker 1: then I instantly become like the number one worldwide demon
Speaker 1: contributor to landfills against my will. Like those mile long
Speaker 1: floating trash pottles in the ocean are all because of
Speaker 1: me at one freaking cannabis buying bottles. Everyone needs to
Speaker 1: become more ashamed of yourselves. If you can't drink a
Speaker 1: regular sized water bottle, you shouldn't get any water. None
Speaker 1: for you. A camel is drinking more than you. Delinquents
Speaker 1: get a life. You disgust me. If I ever run
Speaker 1: for office, will be my main campaign in this country.
Speaker 1: But I will never run for office because I plan
Speaker 1: to disappear into the forest in five to seven years. Shit,
Speaker 1: disappear into the underbrush. I agree with all that those
Speaker 1: things make me so mad. I agree with I agree
Speaker 1: with you and I you know, and I think that
Speaker 1: all those water bottles, man, those little water bottles, I mean,
Speaker 1: I think I think they're bad. And they're not for
Speaker 1: sale individually right there. They only come like they only
Speaker 1: give them out at like events. It feels like, yeah,
Speaker 1: or at my m mother's house or other places where
Speaker 1: there's children, and I'm like, the children shouldn't get water
Speaker 1: if they can only drink one sip of water. I
Speaker 1: don't want I don't want them not have water. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's too little water. What's the idea with them? Really? What?
Speaker 1: Why do they make them so small? In my estimation,
Speaker 1: it's because they think that they're not wasting because people
Speaker 1: can't handle a regular twelve ounds sixteen ounce standard sized
Speaker 1: water bottle. And honestly, I'm just sickened. Yeah that's yeah.
Speaker 1: I am a thirsty boy, and I like I would need, yeah,
Speaker 1: at least like four or five of those things just
Speaker 1: to just to have the equivalent of one regular water bottle,
Speaker 1: one regular water bottle. Not to mention, everybody misplaces their
Speaker 1: freaking water bottle all the time, and then then you
Speaker 1: end up like fifty thousand of those things. And then
Speaker 1: everybody just goes off into the sunset and makes the
Speaker 1: wanders into the forest. Production assistant go clean them up
Speaker 1: and ruin the world. Is that your ten year plan, Blair?
Speaker 1: When people ask, are you like, well, ten years and
Speaker 1: ten years from now, I will have wandered off and
Speaker 1: disappeared into the forest. I you know, I speak about
Speaker 1: this all the time openly, and I probably shouldn't, but
Speaker 1: I am at odds with the career that I love
Speaker 1: and chose, and also this deep hermit introvers did part
Speaker 1: of me where you know, I want to live in nature.
Speaker 1: I don't want to have social media and I don't
Speaker 1: know how to do that and also be do what
Speaker 1: I do. But um, yeah, it would be cool to
Speaker 1: get like successful enough where I could live in like
Speaker 1: Colorado or something and then you know, fly in for
Speaker 1: whatever I have to do. Yeah, yeah, you come a pilot,
Speaker 1: become one of those rich people who has their own
Speaker 1: plane and they all have the same pair of baby
Speaker 1: at or sunglasses. And honestly, I would just take a
Speaker 1: shrack in central California. That would work for me also,
Speaker 1: so we'll see. Yeah, I kind of got to live
Speaker 1: that during the pandemic and it was pretty great for
Speaker 1: a while. And then and then and then and then
Speaker 1: it things. It takes a turn. The next thing, you know,
Speaker 1: you're fucking don't know what day it is and you're
Speaker 1: trying to trim your beard when you got no beard,
Speaker 1: and you just go I would kind of crazy, like
Speaker 1: you know, like the shining, I mean, the shining is
Speaker 1: kind of like I mean, I get crazy. There was
Speaker 1: nobody there for me to go crazy about I mean,
Speaker 1: I was by myself, so I couldn't like, you know,
Speaker 1: threaten anybody, but or go crazy. You know, I went crazy.
Speaker 1: It was all aimed at me. I just went to bed,
Speaker 1: you know. If I went too crazy, I went to bed.
Speaker 1: But but uh, you know, it's just anyway it gets,
Speaker 1: it gets too much. So yeah, you do need to
Speaker 1: be able to fly in and out of civilization. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that would be good if you could. I wish if
Speaker 1: I had a helicopter during the pandemic at that cabin,
Speaker 1: I would have been fine. Hell yeah, that's what's so
Speaker 1: cool about la is it makes you have the thought
Speaker 1: at least three to four times a day. Man, I
Speaker 1: wish I had a helicopter. That's how you know it's
Speaker 1: a good city. That's true. Yeah, that's totally true. Since
Speaker 1: I've been in Tennessee, I have not thought about having
Speaker 1: a helicopter at all. I've thought about having some basic
Speaker 1: beauty on the streets, like something besides a fucking payday
Speaker 1: loan store. But you know, we got snow capped mountains everywhere. Now.
Speaker 1: I like that a lot, enjoying that of beautiful unexpected
Speaker 1: vista myself, I have to Pasadena is like incredibly beautiful
Speaker 1: for the past couple of weeks. It's amazing. No, but
Speaker 1: I feel this, and maybe you know it's just at
Speaker 1: some current moment in my life. But a lot of
Speaker 1: times I feel that I'm too whole film for this city.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you know you definitely are. Yes, I think
Speaker 1: I think that you're right. I think like, yeah, you're
Speaker 1: you're not good people. I've met you in person and
Speaker 1: you're friendly. That's already like, wait, you're like week two
Speaker 1: weeks for La, like say hello, say hello and stuff.
Speaker 1: You're still gonna be like, I'm busy right to some face,
Speaker 1: Like what do you mean you're busy? You're looking right
Speaker 1: at me? Yeah, I mean I've had that happen in
Speaker 1: Los Angeles, like when I moved to Los Angeles at
Speaker 1: age forty five, too, Like I already had done stand
Speaker 1: up here and well, I die whatever. I've done stand
Speaker 1: up for a long time. But it was like starting
Speaker 1: over in Los Angeles, you know, and everybody was it
Speaker 1: was like high school, except I was forty five, right,
Speaker 1: And you say hello to people right to their face,
Speaker 1: they just are like stare at you. I mean, it's
Speaker 1: like and then they're the ones that are doing a
Speaker 1: good job. They're like, hello, how are you, and like
Speaker 1: this guy's never gonna make it. Look at you, Look
Speaker 1: at them communicate disgusting, horrible vulnerability. Yeah, so it's true.
Speaker 1: We need to start a stand up scene somewhere nice, yeah,
Speaker 1: like and like yeah, like Colorado or something. But we
Speaker 1: got a guy I don't know where because those people,
Speaker 1: those places are all full of rich people though, who
Speaker 1: have like run away to have free you know, fuit
Speaker 1: quote unquote freedom. So all your jokes have to be
Speaker 1: about like thank god there's no regulations around here, you know,
Speaker 1: be like, yeah, this is my kind of stand up
Speaker 1: What is something you think as underrated? Player Aqualfour, I mean, like,
Speaker 1: I know people like it, but to me, it is oxygen.
Speaker 1: I put it like all over my entire place and
Speaker 1: my entire body, and I just pretty much live my
Speaker 1: entire life looking like I'm perpetually covered in amniotic fluid. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love it so much, Like I don't know if
Speaker 1: I'm addicted to it or if it actually is just
Speaker 1: some incredible thing that I revere and value. It's like
Speaker 1: vasiline ish, right, It's like vasiline, except much more viscous
Speaker 1: and less scented and yeah, yeah, but you were all
Speaker 1: day every day or is it something you put on
Speaker 1: like it just really good for your skit Like so
Speaker 1: you know, having little kids the like they get rashes
Speaker 1: all the time, there's all sorts of skin problems and
Speaker 1: we had a dermatologist be like just put aquafour on everything,
Speaker 1: Like that's truly the answer. It's so when did you
Speaker 1: start using it? Like when did it like come up
Speaker 1: on the radar kind of thing? Like has it always
Speaker 1: been around? I can't remember when I started. It feels
Speaker 1: like it's been such a big part of my life.
Speaker 1: I would say I am like probably viciously addicted to it,
Speaker 1: but I always am like putting it all over my
Speaker 1: hands and my lips and my face and you know everything.
Speaker 1: That's just yeah, it makes me feel safe and nice.
Speaker 1: How much are we talking? Like are you leaving like
Speaker 1: wet aquafore footprints behind as you walk around in your
Speaker 1: I think that I just like if you look at
Speaker 1: me at any given time, like I always my face
Speaker 1: like I just kind of always look a little I
Speaker 1: always look a little wet. Yeah, I always look like
Speaker 1: I just got like slightly like misted, you know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And that's a lot of people wouldn't prefer to look
Speaker 1: that way, but for me, it's sort of a standalone preference.
Speaker 1: And yeah, that's how I just move about the world
Speaker 1: looking wet all the time. I like to look a
Speaker 1: little flinty, a little ashy, little dust like I just
Speaker 1: came from a place that recently experienced some volcanic activity,
Speaker 1: or like a little eighteen hundreds dust bully. Yeah, yes, yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: used to John Steinbeck Jack. Yeah that's what. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: doing that right now. Look at my fucking head, you guys,
Speaker 1: if you guys on the listening to this show, because
Speaker 1: see what I look like. And they're talking about talking
Speaker 1: about a guy it looks like he needs aqua for
Speaker 1: I mean, you see that scar that's from shingles that
Speaker 1: I got, like lat during the pandemic. I got shingles.
Speaker 1: I thought that was for I thought that was for
Speaker 1: some other people. Yeah, I was like, shingles, shingles is
Speaker 1: for everyone. Yeah, but he sounds like you really turned
Speaker 1: it all around. I turned it all around. I did,
Speaker 1: Like you wouldn't believe how great things are going. I'll
Speaker 1: tell you about it before I do recommend aquafor like
Speaker 1: too everyone because it's it's just good. Like I definitely
Speaker 1: am one of those people who didn't realize how dry
Speaker 1: every part of me was before I. Well, yeah, that's
Speaker 1: men like having to switch to moisturizer. Like I've had
Speaker 1: to give pep talks to men to get them to
Speaker 1: wear a moisturizer, like they think it turns them gay
Speaker 1: or something like they actually certain men are like I'm
Speaker 1: not wearing moisturizer, like I was raised in Kansas or something,
Speaker 1: and you're like you look like shit. Yeah, are very
Speaker 1: odd species, very peculiar. But they've been. Yeah, they've been.
Speaker 1: I agree, but yeah, like because I've taught I'm not
Speaker 1: making that up. I've had to give people talks about
Speaker 1: moisturizer and some people have just been like no, I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna do it, Like being a being a heterosexual
Speaker 1: is all about having dry fucking skin. But also they're
Speaker 1: all mad, like girls are so fucking judgmental and they
Speaker 1: won't go out with me just because my face is
Speaker 1: falling off. Yeah, white guys I think in particular, Yeah,
Speaker 1: like in cells like don't moisturize, never heard of it? No,
Speaker 1: they're like, no way you kidding me. I'm not compromising.
Speaker 1: I want to wear Aqua four now, that's all I know. Yes,
Speaker 1: I think you look great. You look way better than me.
Speaker 1: I mean that's an understatement. I mean you should much much.
Speaker 1: You know that's obvious, you always do. But I look
Speaker 1: dry as fuck compared to everyone in this these three
Speaker 1: zoom windows. Chris, your flattery has bullet me to heights
Speaker 1: you will never understand. Oh, I love it. I love it.
Speaker 1: I love it. Where we talking about last time you
Speaker 1: were on Chris about wet boys versus dry boys. I
Speaker 1: don't remember what that was about. I don't know. There
Speaker 1: wasn't a ka that was wet boys related. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I think you were saying you were saying you were
Speaker 1: a dry boy. Yeah, but I don't remember why. I
Speaker 1: don't remember anything. I forgot my mom's birthday the other day.
Speaker 1: My mom was like, she turned eighty one, and it
Speaker 1: was her birthday the next day. And all I've been
Speaker 1: thinking about is how to make money lately, which is
Speaker 1: like the worst. So I'm like thinking all the things
Speaker 1: running through my head. It's like a roulette wheel of
Speaker 1: like clean houses, right, ad copy blah blah blah, just
Speaker 1: all this crap, you know, And so I got so
Speaker 1: confused that I was over at my mom's house and
Speaker 1: I was there for some birthday related event and she said,
Speaker 1: you know what I would like? I would like She
Speaker 1: said Rio. I would like that band Rio. And I
Speaker 1: was like that band Rio. I was like, you mean
Speaker 1: Rio by Duran Duran that song and She's like, no,
Speaker 1: Rio Rio, and she said I want that. I want Ario.
Speaker 1: I want Rio Ario Speedwagon is what she meant. She
Speaker 1: wanted Ario Speedwagon or Phil Collins records. And she said
Speaker 1: that to me and I said why, I said, what
Speaker 1: do you mean? Like, I said, I'm broke right now?
Speaker 1: What you want me to just go get you some records?
Speaker 1: For like no reason? She was like Chris, and she
Speaker 1: was like, it's my birthday. I forgot, and I forgot
Speaker 1: a couple other times too. Yeah. But in my defense,
Speaker 1: you know, she raised me. She raised me. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: need Chris, come on, you need a gotta pick up
Speaker 1: your mama. So I'm Phil calling. I got myself together. No,
Speaker 1: I got myself together. But I didn't get her anything
Speaker 1: for her for her birthday because I was just I
Speaker 1: was busy. But I shifted into like, oh of course
Speaker 1: I understand why you're Okay, that'd be nice. That would
Speaker 1: be nice if I got you that being a mother job. Jeez,
Speaker 1: my mother's you know, well she's gotten plenty. All right,
Speaker 1: let's take a quick break and we'll come back and
Speaker 1: talk about carless cities. Oh wow, and we're back. And
Speaker 1: am I like when you think of a Dutch city
Speaker 1: or like the Netherlands or Amsterdam or you know, like
Speaker 1: do you pick what? What? What do you picture? How
Speaker 1: do you what do you see in your mind's eye?
Speaker 1: I went there once, so I know, but I just
Speaker 1: see like rivers and bikes and people walking in those
Speaker 1: um waffles with powdered sugar on them. But I do
Speaker 1: think it's a majestic place of beauty where it's like
Speaker 1: sort of feels like it's from a children's story. Yeah yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: picture like fucking people in exercise clothing, like hot people
Speaker 1: and exercise clothing clothing, like walking by canals and talking
Speaker 1: about like you know how much healthcare they have? Yeah,
Speaker 1: just going to the doctor. B Yeah, Like I think
Speaker 1: I'm going to go to the dentist today because is
Speaker 1: not really aching, but it's starting to like I can
Speaker 1: feel something coming on yeah, do you think you would
Speaker 1: I should go Hans, And Hans is like, yeah, so
Speaker 1: I think it should go. It's free, just drop in
Speaker 1: at the dentists, maybe maybe go for a two fur
Speaker 1: and get a get a health check up. Yeah. And
Speaker 1: then also like windmills, I guess, you know, with like
Speaker 1: some guy who's like wise inside it or some lady
Speaker 1: who's wise with like a hump and they was like,
Speaker 1: don't forget to use moisturized rohodion or whatever that stuff
Speaker 1: you were saying was rhodesia or whatever rodeola. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I feel like that is in my brain, and like
Speaker 1: I assumed that was always the way it was. And
Speaker 1: apparently during the like fifties, sixties, seventies, they bought into
Speaker 1: the American style like city building, and they like bought
Speaker 1: in heart. They like filled up the like some of
Speaker 1: the their canals with cement and replaced the canals with
Speaker 1: like highways, and there's just like these pictures where it's
Speaker 1: just like four lanes of traffic in the middle of
Speaker 1: these cities that we now associate with like Mike riding
Speaker 1: and wait, so they change that. They like they they
Speaker 1: removed the cement from the canals. Yeah, yeah what a
Speaker 1: what and what happened? What what made them come to
Speaker 1: some radical decision to change everything? So like among things
Speaker 1: like you know, it just being a nightmare to live
Speaker 1: in a city that is just jam packed, Like you
Speaker 1: walk out your front door in a car whiz by
Speaker 1: like here yeah yeah yeah, like America, yeah yeah, so
Speaker 1: about people like children were getting hit by cars all
Speaker 1: the time, like and you know, the air was like disgusting,
Speaker 1: but it was like a I guess it was nineteen
Speaker 1: seventy one, the daughter of In nineteen seventy one, three
Speaker 1: thousand people were killed by cars. Five hundred of the the
Speaker 1: people killed that year where children, And that probably happened
Speaker 1: today in America, right yeah, I mean they like so
Speaker 1: today we have three times the number of automobile deaths
Speaker 1: that they do and like per capita. And the reason
Speaker 1: for that. So one of the children that was killed
Speaker 1: was the daughter of a journalist, and he wrote a
Speaker 1: front page article that with the headlines stopped murdering our children,
Speaker 1: and that just like that. It wasn't like everyone was like, yes,
Speaker 1: you're right, we should stop murdering children. Like it was
Speaker 1: a long process, but like and there there were other
Speaker 1: factors like it was there was like gas prices started
Speaker 1: shooting up because it was the seventies. So I can't
Speaker 1: imagine a reality like that where gas costs too much.
Speaker 1: But they were paying like seven dollars right now, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's fucking crazy. Yeah, you know what you is here
Speaker 1: in Tennessee like three fifty yeah, which is still like
Speaker 1: too much, yeah it is, but like yeah, that's how
Speaker 1: they keep it low and then they can they jack
Speaker 1: it up for liberals because liberals can be like, oh, well,
Speaker 1: you know it's because of this and that and maybe
Speaker 1: because of supply chains, you know, like but you know,
Speaker 1: Republicans are like they have to keep it artificially low
Speaker 1: and like red states because otherwise the Red states will
Speaker 1: go crazy because they just like God tells us the
Speaker 1: gas prices. Yeah, who's the you know, like it's just
Speaker 1: funny if the gas prices were seven dollars here, because
Speaker 1: everyone here is a conservative, they would they would their
Speaker 1: storm the capital again. Yeah, just every day, just keep storm.
Speaker 1: Jesus names the gas prices. Who is interfering with the
Speaker 1: with Jesus, Yeah, with gas Jesus. Yeah, it really is
Speaker 1: seems to be that simple. The like companies were just
Speaker 1: like we need to we we like money, and like
Speaker 1: the pandemic slowed down how much money was coming in,
Speaker 1: so I wanted to open back up. We are going
Speaker 1: to charge more money for everything. Like that really seems
Speaker 1: to be the more distance we get from it, like
Speaker 1: all the all the gas companies are having just like
Speaker 1: record breaking profits. But the reason I like the story
Speaker 1: is so interesting is because, like it just I assume,
Speaker 1: I think we like tend to get focused on like
Speaker 1: the way things are and assume they've always been that way.
Speaker 1: And like there's this one drawing of like what Amsterdam
Speaker 1: was supposed to look like, and it looks exactly like
Speaker 1: a city in Texas. Like it's just you know being
Speaker 1: choked by like all these lanes of like highways and
Speaker 1: stuff like it, or like the b QE like in
Speaker 1: you know, like parts of New York that are just
Speaker 1: like all these highway interchanges and shit. But they like
Speaker 1: were able to back away from that because like that
Speaker 1: that article led to a movement. People started like protesting
Speaker 1: and just like laying down in the streets, and like
Speaker 1: you know, after gas prices shot up, it became fashionable
Speaker 1: for like the Prime Minister like urged people to use
Speaker 1: less energy, change their lifestyles. Announced a series of car
Speaker 1: free Sundays, which is my favorite idea, Like can we
Speaker 1: just try a car free Sunday like fucking once in America?
Speaker 1: And I feel like people would see that their lives
Speaker 1: are like livable and it's cool too for your kids
Speaker 1: to just be able to like run wherever they want
Speaker 1: and not be worried about getting like run over. Literally
Speaker 1: that that would never happen. That would never happen, because
Speaker 1: that would be like you're taking away all right to
Speaker 1: drive are ah? Yeah, Like what do you think we're
Speaker 1: closer to the a car free Sunday or the actual
Speaker 1: purge happening in the I to the purge, we could
Speaker 1: have a car free Sunday is when the aliens finally
Speaker 1: come down and if they say you have to have
Speaker 1: a car free Sunday. But yeah, there's they introduced really
Speaker 1: moderate like incremental changes. They're like, guys, just just hear
Speaker 1: us out. We're not saying you have to for just
Speaker 1: saying car free Sundays one day every couple months Sundays,
Speaker 1: and you can only use your phone one hour a
Speaker 1: day except for phone calls. Yeah, I'm taking care of those.
Speaker 1: Would be some badass aliens. The city's also began like
Speaker 1: passing policies to discourage driving. They like made parking in
Speaker 1: city center super expensive. They removed some parking spots entirely.
Speaker 1: They reduced speed limits, so like there are things that
Speaker 1: can be done that have worked in the past, Like
Speaker 1: they turned some areas into car free zones. Like all
Speaker 1: these things that like seem completely impossible, like we think
Speaker 1: of the United States possible in this country because this
Speaker 1: country thinks that cars are like an extension of their
Speaker 1: fucking like just said, like freedom. You know, it's like
Speaker 1: toxic men. I mean I think about toxic masculinity constantly
Speaker 1: now because of what's happening in Tennessee with the drag
Speaker 1: show band and and the fuck the abortion band, I
Speaker 1: mean the state. I mean I just moved back here
Speaker 1: because I could afford it better, you know. But it's
Speaker 1: like it's a nightmare. And it's all these fucking men,
Speaker 1: these alcoholic men who are running things. I mean, like
Speaker 1: we keep electing alcoholics. We're fucked. Everybody in Tennessee is
Speaker 1: an obvious drunk. Every person that every member of the legislature.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's the culture here. They all fucking drink
Speaker 1: their heads off. You know what drinking makes you do,
Speaker 1: It makes you fucking crazy. I used to be an alcoholic.
Speaker 1: I know you're a nut. You make laws about crazy
Speaker 1: shits because you think you're I don't know, like a
Speaker 1: human meteor. Like alcohol makes you grandiose. That's the last
Speaker 1: thing you want in a leader. I mean, you know,
Speaker 1: but I was thinking about cars. You know that that
Speaker 1: is what Men feel more powerful in a car are
Speaker 1: than they feel. It's the only place now that they're like,
Speaker 1: at least I can't get canceled in my car like
Speaker 1: no one less, you know, I can ride around with
Speaker 1: my fucking dick out and fucking four wheel drive and
Speaker 1: all this bullshit, and it's just it's just men are
Speaker 1: so have been told there are only two ways to
Speaker 1: be mad or or or madder. I don't even know,
Speaker 1: you know, like there's two ways a man can be
Speaker 1: calm or made. The only time I'm calm is in
Speaker 1: my truck. And if you try to take away my
Speaker 1: fucking truck, then I'm gonna go fucking crazy because that's
Speaker 1: my only other setting. Well, I think, I think I
Speaker 1: always say this on this show, but like conservatives like
Speaker 1: their whole thing in their head is that they are
Speaker 1: against big government. But then now there's all this like
Speaker 1: insane control coming over in all people's lives. But if
Speaker 1: they have you had the car thing, it wouldn't even
Speaker 1: be about what the issue is about. It would be
Speaker 1: of taking away that something they can't do. There's no
Speaker 1: self awareness. But I guess our government with the two
Speaker 1: were always it's just about winning at this point. It's
Speaker 1: never actually about what's best for anyone. It's about beating
Speaker 1: the other party. And aside from that, I also think
Speaker 1: that there should be when the aliens come down, that
Speaker 1: they should ban the politicians from having Twitter. I'm still
Speaker 1: fucking annoyed at these politicians on Twitter acting like every
Speaker 1: tweet is the goddamn wrestling promo. Like I missed the
Speaker 1: old days when they were just fake smiling in public,
Speaker 1: like freaking Richard Nixon and doing bad shit in private.
Speaker 1: Like I don't want to see them openly just being
Speaker 1: nuts every day. It's like terrifying to the Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like the joker. They're all like the joke, you know,
Speaker 1: like everyone tries to outjoke or the other one. Well,
Speaker 1: how about if you know, I don't know, I don't
Speaker 1: know what they know everything. You know, they just want
Speaker 1: to outlaw everything, just to out out outlaw their other joker.
Speaker 1: You know what it's like, you think you're the joke.
Speaker 1: Girl watched this. Yeah. Richard Nixon, by the way, went
Speaker 1: last time there was inflation. He just came on and
Speaker 1: was like, companies, if companies try to raise prices for
Speaker 1: the next month, they'll be like under arrest, like something
Speaker 1: that today would be seen as like the most socialist
Speaker 1: thing that's ever been done. Yeah, everything, everything is socialist,
Speaker 1: if it doesn't mean unrelated a little bit. But that
Speaker 1: star series on Watergate with Julia Roberts was absolutely incredible.
Speaker 1: Was it really? Yeah? Well, I enjoyed the hell out
Speaker 1: of it. Was so good. It was really about Martha,
Speaker 1: La La, La La. But what I forgot her two
Speaker 1: other names Lady Bird Johnson. Is that no Martha? Um,
Speaker 1: I forget the name? Is Julia Roberts play Richard Nixon?
Speaker 1: Want so bad? I want that kind of casting. I
Speaker 1: would be so interested in biopics or biopics, which is it?
Speaker 1: I mean, I can never no Julia Robbers play Martha,
Speaker 1: Martha the whistle Blower, Martha the whistle Brow. I want
Speaker 1: to see Samuel Jackson. Yes, I want to see Samuel
Speaker 1: Jackson as Amelia Earhart. That's kind of shit I'm talking about. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I want to see that. I'm tired of them casting
Speaker 1: who will look like the person. It's so fucking stupid
Speaker 1: and juvenile, Like, oh, we have to get an actor
Speaker 1: that looks like that's so dumb. I mean, that's Martha
Speaker 1: could ever think of in the world. Yeah, like casting
Speaker 1: in a in a meeting, being like he doesn't look enough,
Speaker 1: Like I thought we were here for art. But guys,
Speaker 1: everybody laughs and jumps out the window. But one thing
Speaker 1: quickly about aliens, to Blair's point, is like I wish
Speaker 1: they would come down and bosses around too. And I'm
Speaker 1: starting to lose faith in the alien And I just
Speaker 1: want to mention that because they've been buzzing around here
Speaker 1: for what fifty years or whatever, just I don't believe
Speaker 1: they're aliens anymore, because if they were aliens, they wouldn't
Speaker 1: give a fuck. They would show up and get in
Speaker 1: our faces. They're not like, oh, they're just investigating. That's horseshit.
Speaker 1: Why would they ever waste They don't give up? What
Speaker 1: are they afraid of us, for why wouldn't they just
Speaker 1: come down and start patting us on the head. I
Speaker 1: just I don't. I'm I'm I'm a big believer in everything.
Speaker 1: I can believe in anything. I believe in bigfoot, I
Speaker 1: believe in ghosts. I believe in every goddamn thing. But
Speaker 1: aliens fucking do it already, Like come down here and
Speaker 1: shoot us with a ray gun, or fucking tell us
Speaker 1: to have no cars on Sunday, or just get it
Speaker 1: over with. Stop just buzzing around the sky and drive
Speaker 1: diving underwater and stuff. Come on, stop diving underwater. And
Speaker 1: I'm not kidding. People are like, what the fuck are
Speaker 1: they doing underwater? Or tell him to come up here
Speaker 1: and kick Mitch McConnell's fucking ass. He fell down, You
Speaker 1: can't mean to him. Fuck that. I hope he falls
Speaker 1: down a million times. Yeah, all right, let's take a
Speaker 1: quick break. We'll come back. We'll talk about some other stuff,
Speaker 1: and we're back. And should we talk about girl scout cookies?
Speaker 1: Should we talk about the Mandalorian? Why wouldn't we talk
Speaker 1: about girl Scout cookies? I don't know that much about
Speaker 1: nerd shit, so but I know nothing about it. I
Speaker 1: know the Mandalorians like a freaking Star Wars thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's a Boba Fett nothing. But I'm a job obviously.
Speaker 1: You know that, Jack, I don't alcoholic. Also, you missed
Speaker 1: the alcoholic. You were drunk between the release of a
Speaker 1: Return of the Jedi and the third prequel, Claire. I
Speaker 1: don't know if you know this about me, but I
Speaker 1: was an alcoholic from like nineteen eighty four to nineteen
Speaker 1: I mean so twenty ten. So all the movies that
Speaker 1: happened in between those times I didn't see because I
Speaker 1: was like movies or for Normis. I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's oh, it's hang out of the docks and write
Speaker 1: poems on you know, old old you know, carved poems
Speaker 1: into they don't do anything. Yes, get drunk down, you know,
Speaker 1: I get drunk, ride the rails. Yeah, yeah, you were.
Speaker 1: I was riding the rails. So I haven't seen like
Speaker 1: Forrest Gump or anything. You were living, brother, That's what
Speaker 1: I thought, But it just turns out I missed a
Speaker 1: bunch of movies. I didn't live. I was not living
Speaker 1: at all. I was like, look, I missed a bunch
Speaker 1: of shit completely sober, so like I'm even there and
Speaker 1: I miss it. So you missed a lot of shit
Speaker 1: because you were too cool. You were too cool for it. No. No,
Speaker 1: like I'm saying, I consume things, I attend things, I
Speaker 1: watch things, and I like won't remember half of it.
Speaker 1: It's like very odd, like I'm missing half of my
Speaker 1: brain or lobottomized or something. What was your main sport volleyball? Surfaing? Well,
Speaker 1: volleyball is like what I played in college, but yeah,
Speaker 1: that was the main one. Do you still surf? Very
Speaker 1: very rarely. I'm kind of weak and cozy now. I
Speaker 1: don't really like to be cold or put out or
Speaker 1: have any sort of you know, physical struggle. Sure, I
Speaker 1: like to sit down. Okay, that sounds good to me.
Speaker 1: You got a picture of those of you watching at home?
Speaker 1: Blair as a picture of a painting of a surfer
Speaker 1: right behind her on a wall. Very nice painting too. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're right. All right, Then we'll talk about girl Scout cookies. Fine,
Speaker 1: if you guys do want to talk about the Star
Speaker 1: Wars I actually don't watch the Star Wars series either,
Speaker 1: but I am getting into Star Wars. I thought Fandom
Speaker 1: Thread was a Star Wars movie. If I did enjoy
Speaker 1: the rides at Disneyland, which I was only able to
Speaker 1: go on because Matt Rogers like knew how to navigate
Speaker 1: the Disney app, which again I should have spoken about
Speaker 1: that instead of little water bottles. I can't believe Disney
Speaker 1: has been applified. I mean, how are grandma's and grandpa's
Speaker 1: get to take their little grandkids there when everything is
Speaker 1: done by a fucking app? Do you know that fucking
Speaker 1: out on the same they make. They make the fucking
Speaker 1: people applying for asylum use apps. And if you can't
Speaker 1: fucking use an app, this is true, you can't apply
Speaker 1: for asylum in the United States, and that you don't
Speaker 1: actually make it so people can't apply for asylums. They
Speaker 1: don't have a goddamn foam. Yeah yeah, apps. Come down
Speaker 1: to your aliens and tell us to stop using apps.
Speaker 1: I love the They just like have some notes for us.
Speaker 1: They thrive, and they don't like vaporize anyone or like
Speaker 1: even ask to speak to our leader. They're just like,
Speaker 1: we have some suggestions. That's my gentle opinion, Jack, that's
Speaker 1: my gentle opinion. I want them, but I have to
Speaker 1: believe in benevolent forces in order to take one more
Speaker 1: step each day they do, they do a thing I
Speaker 1: my benevolent forces cold brew coffee that keeps me taking steps.
Speaker 1: But there's also nice people. There are nice people around,
Speaker 1: you know, and we got three of them right here.
Speaker 1: I really feel like that, and I feel like the
Speaker 1: whole daily zeitgeis community is really a pretty kind bunch
Speaker 1: of people. But here's the thing. Is if if the
Speaker 1: aliens came down, man, and they could say something like
Speaker 1: everybody needs to eat more salads or whatever, but they
Speaker 1: to solidify their point, the thing they can do without
Speaker 1: giving a shit is they can vaporize Jim Jordan, right.
Speaker 1: They can just use there. They're like, just as an example,
Speaker 1: we're not going to vaporize everybody. This guy's a real
Speaker 1: piece of shit, so we'll vaporize him. Now if every
Speaker 1: cane just all you guys have to do is not
Speaker 1: drive cars on Sunday and we won't vaporize anybody else there.
Speaker 1: You go, see you guys later. Now we're going back
Speaker 1: underwater to do whatever the fuck we do down there.
Speaker 1: All right, are you guys? Girl Scout cookie fans, do
Speaker 1: you partake then? Mince? I am Yeah. I have actually
Speaker 1: been a lifelong supporter of the Girl Scouts. That's really
Speaker 1: why I do it, is because I like to help
Speaker 1: young wood him in advance in this country. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I know all of them intimately, and I usually purchase
Speaker 1: them from my acting teacher's daughter, and that's sort of
Speaker 1: where I'm at. Yeah, what's your favorite type? Wait, what's
Speaker 1: the new name for? You know, the Carmel Delights. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Carmel Delights. Obviously, that's my favorite one. And it's only
Speaker 1: a light seven thousand calories for a cookie for a cookie,
Speaker 1: and what I like to do is eat seven to
Speaker 1: nine in one sitting and then it feels sick for
Speaker 1: three hours after. It's a little nice little ritual that
Speaker 1: I like to do. Also love a frozen benmint, like
Speaker 1: the masses. My brother, Peculiar guy, he likes the peanut
Speaker 1: butter ones growing up, which was a very odd outlier
Speaker 1: choice peanut butter sandwich cookies or the peanut butter chocolate
Speaker 1: coated ones because there's just one of the masses. By
Speaker 1: the way, it gets no one, we're all the masters.
Speaker 1: You called me a basic bee. I included myself in
Speaker 1: the number two, the one and two. That's the ones
Speaker 1: I prefer. They're the best ones objectively. That's why pop
Speaker 1: music is spop music, because it's so enjoyable to all.
Speaker 1: Oh fuck, I lost that, I know you did. Yeah,
Speaker 1: all right, so caramel delights, I never heard of caramel delights?
Speaker 1: What do they used to be called? Samoa? Yeah, so
Speaker 1: I'm out of my league already. I don't know what
Speaker 1: I'm talking about a professionals talk, all right. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: want to know one thing. Did Girl Girl Scotts really
Speaker 1: make them? Yeah, in a in a tree tree in
Speaker 1: the forests. No, a company named Little Brownie Bakers. Little
Speaker 1: Brownie Bakers makes them. They are of course owned by
Speaker 1: a giant Italian confection company named Farrero, and they have
Speaker 1: just been fucking up the like availability of like they
Speaker 1: just haven't been producing as many as are needed required
Speaker 1: requested by the market. Which this is just a thing
Speaker 1: that we're seeing repeatedly, where like companies, I don't know,
Speaker 1: they're they're just like, yeah, sorry, we fucked up. What
Speaker 1: do you want to do about it? And because there's
Speaker 1: not because the world is full of monopolies now and
Speaker 1: there is no like free market, even like the thing
Speaker 1: that the right like claims to believe in, like doesn't
Speaker 1: actually exist in the country, and so it's just these
Speaker 1: massive companies being like, yeah, we'll give you what we
Speaker 1: choose to give you and you'll like it or you
Speaker 1: won't get it, and also like we're going to raise
Speaker 1: prices essentially. Yeah, so yeah, Girl Scouts are the Girl
Speaker 1: Scouts as a community have expressed disappointment with their partner
Speaker 1: Little Brown Bakers for their like supply chain issues. But
Speaker 1: the supply chain issues are bullshit. They're just like, yeah,
Speaker 1: companies have supply chain issues all the time, and then
Speaker 1: they fix them if they're good at their job, or like,
Speaker 1: you know, people who get paid tons of money get
Speaker 1: fired for not fixing the thing because that's like what
Speaker 1: your company does is make Girl Scout cookies and you're like, hey,
Speaker 1: our bad, We're not making Girl Scout cookies this year
Speaker 1: as good. Well, the monopoly thing is like yeah, that's
Speaker 1: why people have to beg for their TV shows back
Speaker 1: and beg for their favorite kind of corn chips back
Speaker 1: because there's no other I mean, it's supposed to be
Speaker 1: like competition. If it was a free market for real,
Speaker 1: then someone else would make you know, a corn chip
Speaker 1: like that, But now people have to like be like
Speaker 1: please do plea please at Doritos. Yeah, you know, look,
Speaker 1: I don't want to do too many hot takes as
Speaker 1: I like to do on this podcast, but wow, wow,
Speaker 1: it's brought up Doritos not a good chip. Come for me?
Speaker 1: For me? You think I'm afraid of you. I hear
Speaker 1: you all out there. I know what you're gonna do.
Speaker 1: I know a lot about chips. Doritos not a good chip.
Speaker 1: Doritos are from I'm just because I'm old. I'm like Doritos.
Speaker 1: I don't even know about any newer chips. People love Doritos.
Speaker 1: But what's your favorite chip? You know, I like a
Speaker 1: lot of chips. I partake in a lot of chips.
Speaker 1: But if I had to go with one type of chip,
Speaker 1: obviously I'm gonna go with kettle chips because I like
Speaker 1: two chips that cause oral injury and harm. I hate
Speaker 1: that when I get cut by by snacks, that's like
Speaker 1: very humiliating. See him. Yeah, I love them, and they
Speaker 1: has such good flavors to like, just really really well
Speaker 1: executed flavors on the kettle chip. Yeah. So the Girl
Speaker 1: Scout's introduced a new flavor, Raspberry Rally, and immediately sold
Speaker 1: out and then what, Who's whose naming these? Somebody's grandma's
Speaker 1: naming these fucking things. They really seem very like raspberry
Speaker 1: rap jacko jack. Are you gonna get those a raspberry rally?
Speaker 1: If they come back up to stock, I would, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I would absolutely try them. They are thin mints with
Speaker 1: instead of mint flavored chocolate cookies like raspberry flavored. Oh
Speaker 1: that is not what I was imagine right in my head.
Speaker 1: I would fun with that, actually raspberry chocolate of a
Speaker 1: famous incredible combination. I I was thinking that it was
Speaker 1: gonna be just over the jelly, the raspberry jelly thing, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: or some shortcake bullshit, you know, yeah shortcake with like
Speaker 1: a little jelly center or some shit. Yeah, hashtag shortcake bullshit,
Speaker 1: some short I love that. This is my dream. This
Speaker 1: is my fucking dream, like like what to be with
Speaker 1: Blair Saki hearing new fucking new takes Takes. This is
Speaker 1: I'm not kidding. If anyone listening is not checked out,
Speaker 1: go on fucking YouTube. And I saw this live lyric
Speaker 1: Hyperion's time I ever performed it. It was an all
Speaker 1: food show and it was like one of my favorite
Speaker 1: things I saw the whole eight years I was in
Speaker 1: Los Angeles. That's so kind, Thank you, Chris. And there
Speaker 1: was no second place. Actually, it was the only thing
Speaker 1: I enjoyed in the whole eight years I was in
Speaker 1: Los Angeles. And if you are in Los Angeles in
Speaker 1: the comedy scene, you'll understand what I'm talking about. So yeah,
Speaker 1: that was just anyway, if you can find it's kind
Speaker 1: of like on isn't it on like YouTube and pieces
Speaker 1: or in like on TikTok or something. I only like
Speaker 1: a few, very few that should be on Blu Ray. Yeah,
Speaker 1: in my opinion, Fuck the Mandalorian. I don't even know
Speaker 1: what the Mandalorian is. Boba fat He wasn't even a
Speaker 1: main character. Why does he get a show? Get out
Speaker 1: of here? I watched the movie that he appears in
Speaker 1: with my kids and like, didn't I don't really give
Speaker 1: a fuck about Star Wars that much. So, like I
Speaker 1: wasn't like telling them about that. I always thought it
Speaker 1: was weird that everyone was like so into Boba Fett
Speaker 1: when he like appears on screen for like fifteen seconds. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and the second he was on screen, they were like,
Speaker 1: who's the guy in the green? Whoa he's did you? Oh?
Speaker 1: I love that I actually think my nephew is really
Speaker 1: into it as well. And anytimes kids I kind of
Speaker 1: trust the opinion of kids, Like anytime they really like something,
Speaker 1: I'm like, maybe I should check it out. It's definitely
Speaker 1: making me if I was watching Frozen by myself. No,
Speaker 1: I love those movies. I actually say that so ironically.
Speaker 1: I think that there's so much heart and vision in
Speaker 1: all those movies, and they work on them for like
Speaker 1: seven years, yea they get they can only get like
Speaker 1: four seconds done in a day. Like I actually think
Speaker 1: they're all masterpieces. Where do they go after they're done
Speaker 1: doing that four seconds? They go back to their apartment
Speaker 1: at Burbank and like play Russian Roulette. I think it's
Speaker 1: actually meaningful work that is shaping these children's lives. I
Speaker 1: think you're right, Blair, And you know what the thing
Speaker 1: is with me is another problem here is like like
Speaker 1: as far as my relating to anything, is that as
Speaker 1: an ex alcoholic and also like a person who was
Speaker 1: raised by wolves, we have we are I'm one of
Speaker 1: four children. We're all majorly old or like you know,
Speaker 1: adult you know older than you or Jack and and
Speaker 1: no kids, no kids, four children, no kids, And that's
Speaker 1: because our parents scared the shit out of us. And
Speaker 1: it's really true, there's no other reason. And so I
Speaker 1: have no kids in my life, so if I started working,
Speaker 1: we're watching Frozen. It's just I was just imagining myself
Speaker 1: upstairs in this house that I just moved into a Madison, Tennessee,
Speaker 1: which is like home of the like food truck slash
Speaker 1: you know, I don't even you know, it's just food
Speaker 1: truck slash slash vape store kind of thing. I just
Speaker 1: imagine myself up in the attic watching like that's that's
Speaker 1: important in her child work though, And so if you
Speaker 1: feel called, you should not be a shame that I yeah,
Speaker 1: Frozen or any of them, that's really nice. And Coco
Speaker 1: a favorite I sobbed in theater coat. Yeah. But I
Speaker 1: was just having this conversation with my therapist yesterday, and
Speaker 1: I think she accidentally recommended Avatar, the TV series on
Speaker 1: on Netflix because I was saying how the reality TV
Speaker 1: that I have been consuming lately um makes me feel
Speaker 1: spiritually brankrupt because I quit it for a few years
Speaker 1: when I started developing a solid meditation practice. I was like,
Speaker 1: this is toxic, but then you know, I'm sure it
Speaker 1: has been brought up on this show in the last week,
Speaker 1: but the vander Pump rules bomb dropped and suddenly I'm
Speaker 1: all sucked back in and what was I don't know
Speaker 1: how to get out? Like I've had explained to me why,
Speaker 1: like what happened? And yeah, you know by people who
Speaker 1: generally funk with reality TV, but this really, like from
Speaker 1: an outsider's perspective, I like it feels like, Oh, something's
Speaker 1: really going on over there. I'm happy to give you
Speaker 1: the Reality TV nine to eleven. Like I know we've
Speaker 1: had the synopsis, but like, what is different about this
Speaker 1: compared to because it feels like they're so like one
Speaker 1: of them cheater on the other one with another one,
Speaker 1: and like that seems to be happening a lot on
Speaker 1: vander Pump. What in particular about this time kind of
Speaker 1: sucked you back in? Okay, So this is what I'll
Speaker 1: say about vander Pump. Of all the Bravo franchises, maybe
Speaker 1: one of the weakest. Like I stopped off. I fell
Speaker 1: off after maybe season two, season three, so I think
Speaker 1: they were in season season ten. Now, yeah, hadn't thought
Speaker 1: about it since and there since the relationship basically and
Speaker 1: they've all One of the oddest things about this show
Speaker 1: and this cast is they all have had sex with
Speaker 1: each other, Like they don't seem to sleep with people
Speaker 1: outside of the cast. I don't know if they was
Speaker 1: saying it was like the Habsburg Empire where the Yeah,
Speaker 1: and this woman that's been cheating, she was engaged to
Speaker 1: another cast member, and then you know, she was very
Speaker 1: good friends of the girlfriend, very close friends of the
Speaker 1: girlfriend of the man she's been having the affair with.
Speaker 1: And you know, she also is presents as like this
Speaker 1: very benign, like uncalculated, has no idea what's going on girl,
Speaker 1: And then it's come out like all these intense calculated
Speaker 1: war moves and strategy that been employing a cigarette. Surely
Speaker 1: she's had all these decoys and symbols and like wild
Speaker 1: moves that just no one could have anticipated that this
Speaker 1: bitch is actually just completely different than anyone thought. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean that sounds pretty good. Also, their new bar
Speaker 1: that's like the whole storyline is like three blocks from
Speaker 1: my house, Like it's really close and it's very odd. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know, will you go there? Are you? I
Speaker 1: think I will. Yes, I will be going at like
Speaker 1: five pm because that's still the time, I like, but yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm curious. I'm curious are there still people from the
Speaker 1: cast working there? For real? Like? Can you go see
Speaker 1: him in action? They don't work there. It's the two guy,
Speaker 1: one of the cheaters, plus his partner. They own it
Speaker 1: and like that's their thing is Yeah, so yeah, I've
Speaker 1: never seen it, So I just I've heard about it.
Speaker 1: I've trying to join in. I've heard about it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but no I did because I dated someone younger than me.
Speaker 1: So they told me about vander Pump Rules and they
Speaker 1: loved Pump Rules and she came to visit me out
Speaker 1: in California and she wanted to go to the restaurant
Speaker 1: that was. Did you go? I didn't go because I
Speaker 1: don't know why, but I would have. I would have gone.
Speaker 1: I just wouldn't you know, I probably wouldn't have been
Speaker 1: as excited. Get your v neck on. Just it's been
Speaker 1: shocking to see the how uniting it has been around
Speaker 1: the country and what that means. And yeah, I was
Speaker 1: just sick all of it. And it's had me in
Speaker 1: the choke cult. Wow. Just to finish off the girl
Speaker 1: Scout Cookie story since we started it, they also use
Speaker 1: palm oil in their cookies, which is an industry that
Speaker 1: is backed by child slavery or like uses child slavery,
Speaker 1: and in fact, the palm oil in Girl Scout cookies
Speaker 1: can be traced back to child slavery. So that's just
Speaker 1: wanted to make sure one of the most disturbing things
Speaker 1: I could have heard today and were the child slaves
Speaker 1: at least Girl Scouts. Right, One of the wildest things
Speaker 1: about humanity and being a human is like everything good
Speaker 1: also has some sort of deeply sickening underbelly. Yeah, I want, like,
Speaker 1: I feel like it doesn't neat or it shouldn't be
Speaker 1: like that way by design, but it does. It does
Speaker 1: feel like that, especially in the modern world. Well, if
Speaker 1: everything isn't re election of our internal worlds and we
Speaker 1: are all the sum of the entire spectrum of good
Speaker 1: and bad, it does make sense. But oh it's so painful. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a huge man, I can't believe you just said that.
Speaker 1: Like that makes me want to talk for half an
Speaker 1: hour about that with you, like, you know, because that's
Speaker 1: like very big. That's a very big I think about
Speaker 1: that stuff all the time. Yeah, I mean, like what
Speaker 1: is inside people and in terms of like, you know,
Speaker 1: we can take multitudes like a bunch of the multitudes,
Speaker 1: or you know weasels. Yea, well, I do think about
Speaker 1: that like almost twenty four hours a day, because now
Speaker 1: suddenly we have descended and devolved in a world completely
Speaker 1: devoid of any nuance. And I'm like, it's just not
Speaker 1: the truth. It's it's so untruthful. Yeah, social media, man,
Speaker 1: it's like I gave every goddamn freak in the world,
Speaker 1: you know, to free reign for all their multitudes to
Speaker 1: go crazy on. Let let everybody know what they think.
Speaker 1: And a lot of people are. But it shows you
Speaker 1: everyone to freak, even someone you thought you loved for
Speaker 1: years and years and years from actor, rock musician, and
Speaker 1: you're like, they are the coolest person I've ever seen.
Speaker 1: And then you see them tweet and you're like, what
Speaker 1: the sixth y'all old hero aerial pink let the most
Speaker 1: unfunny thing I know. Yeah, that's like don't beat your
Speaker 1: heroes type stuff. I mean, it's it's it took me
Speaker 1: a long time to understand because I was and so
Speaker 1: I was so in all musicians, you know, when I
Speaker 1: was younger, and now I am one and That's why
Speaker 1: I wanted to be one so badly, just because I
Speaker 1: thought they were so cool, you know that I couldn't
Speaker 1: even handle life. But I would have been such a
Speaker 1: fanboy it would have been disgusting. So like, but musicians
Speaker 1: like you can get confused about, like someone like Ryan
Speaker 1: Adams for example, Like his songs are pretty, you know,
Speaker 1: and so you figure someone who makes something pretty must
Speaker 1: be nice, and that's not true. It's like, somebody can
Speaker 1: be good at making music the same way that somebody
Speaker 1: can be good at, you know, some other thing that
Speaker 1: has people don't connect with good. We're not gonna go
Speaker 1: like you're not gonna think like the world's greatest stockbroker
Speaker 1: is gonna be a nice guy. But it turns out
Speaker 1: the world's greatest musicians not either. They're just two things
Speaker 1: people do. One is just one that stirs these positive
Speaker 1: emotions music, you know, so you figure, oh, this person
Speaker 1: must be nice, but that does not correlate. I've met
Speaker 1: people who are really good at making music who are
Speaker 1: just not nice at all, and that screw screws me up.
Speaker 1: You know'd be like if you met Leonard Cohen and
Speaker 1: he was like, fuck you, which I think is totally possible,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? And I bet Leonard Cohen
Speaker 1: also probably you know, you know, probably had sex with
Speaker 1: everybody in this restaurant if he had one. Blake vander
Speaker 1: Pop rules, Yeah, Chris, do you look down on musicians
Speaker 1: who you meet who have a seven point three and
Speaker 1: below from Pitchfork? Oh yeah, Oh yeah? I have seven
Speaker 1: point four album from Pitchfork, No big deal. I have
Speaker 1: a seven point four tattoo and Monster Energy font on
Speaker 1: my back. Nice. We'll see it, they see it across
Speaker 1: fit Well. Blair, It's been such a pleasure having you
Speaker 1: on the Daily Zeitgeist. Where can people find you? Follow
Speaker 1: you all that good stuff? Their pleasure is all mine,
Speaker 1: Jack and Chris, you know coming back on here has
Speaker 1: really been like a bomb, a salve to my tired
Speaker 1: soul where you can find me as always at Blair Sake,
Speaker 1: B L A. I R. S Occi and I also
Speaker 1: just I haven't been on for a while, but I
Speaker 1: just want to thank all the Daily Zey gang who
Speaker 1: come up and say hi to me on the road.
Speaker 1: It makes me so happy every time. Two things I
Speaker 1: would like to promote. If you have any interest, Chicago,
Speaker 1: I'll be at the Chicago Comedy Bar March thirty first,
Speaker 1: in April first, really excited about that, two shows each night.
Speaker 1: Haven't been to Chicago in a long time. And then
Speaker 1: I will also be doing an hour in Los Angeles
Speaker 1: on Thursday twenty seventh at the Lyric Hyperion. And I
Speaker 1: only do that like once a year, so and it's
Speaker 1: a pretty small venue, So come out if you'd like.
Speaker 1: I would love to see you. And that's all always
Speaker 1: on my social media and all my link tree and
Speaker 1: my bio. I wish I could be there. Yeah, everybody
Speaker 1: listening if it was in Los Angeles that Lyric you
Speaker 1: to go I'm talking about? Was? Was? I mean? As
Speaker 1: was that the Lyric Hyperion? Anyway? Anyway, it's a great
Speaker 1: place to see. You can be rolled like that's really
Speaker 1: close to the performer. It's really a nice It's like
Speaker 1: a very nice little venue. Thank you. Ye Is there
Speaker 1: a work of media that you've been enjoying? Well? Wait,
Speaker 1: a work of media? Oh we say that instead of
Speaker 1: tweet now because so few people are on Twitter? Because
Speaker 1: oh okay, because yeah, I thought tweet, but then I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, I'll tell you about a book i'm reading.
Speaker 1: Were either, oh I'm reading jay Z Jones in the
Speaker 1: six which just made me think of, um, what we
Speaker 1: were just talking about about musicians and rocks and I'm
Speaker 1: like rock stars no one day, They're just like partying
Speaker 1: and do it and make it insane music. But oh,
Speaker 1: I did just see a funny tweet in relation to
Speaker 1: what we were saying about that article about the pandemic
Speaker 1: not being harmful to her health. And it was Marsha
Speaker 1: Belskis and it was she quote tweeted and said, actually,
Speaker 1: or I watched all six seasons of Glee, even the
Speaker 1: New York episodes, So it made me laugh. I think
Speaker 1: that was a bad paraphrase. Sorry. On the one that's good,
Speaker 1: it was I got it and I enjoyed it. Thank you,
Speaker 1: Thank you Jack. I liked it. I liked it too. Chris,
Speaker 1: Where can people find you? And what is a tweet
Speaker 1: or work of media you've been enjoying? You can find
Speaker 1: me at the Crofton Show on Twitter and at on Instagram,
Speaker 1: and you can listen to my podcast colbru got me
Speaker 1: like on all the places, and you can go buy
Speaker 1: my book The Advice King Anthology, and I don't care
Speaker 1: if you get it from Amazon. Go right ahead, and
Speaker 1: get it. It doesn't matter to me. Don't go through
Speaker 1: Vanderbilt's website because you have to do fifty eight thousand
Speaker 1: things to get a book. Just buy the fucking have
Speaker 1: to actually apply to Vanderbilt. And yeah, I mean it's
Speaker 1: like I just heard from people have to register all
Speaker 1: kinds of stuff. Nothing against Vanderbilt, but they have an
Speaker 1: old website. And uh yeah, go get my book and
Speaker 1: also go listen to my record. Um hello, it's me
Speaker 1: from twenty eighteen and I got a new one coming
Speaker 1: out this year, so that's exciting. That isn't any tweets,
Speaker 1: you know. Up, I'm looking at the damn what's that.
Speaker 1: Let's just go with your books. Well, I got one
Speaker 1: thing I wanted to try. I do poetry window on Twitter,
Speaker 1: and I want to do one. I'm just just to
Speaker 1: read one that I think's funny. But I also gonna look,
Speaker 1: I'm looking for this guy. It's the same thing that
Speaker 1: happened last time. There's this. First of all, go check
Speaker 1: out Blair Saki's tweets. That's what I say every time.
Speaker 1: I am fan like I am, I am like a
Speaker 1: big fan And oh that's so kind but not frightening,
Speaker 1: just regular fighting. No, but that that that you know
Speaker 1: that is I do this every time I scramble, I
Speaker 1: can't remember, I can't find the tweets, and then and
Speaker 1: then I say, go just look at Blair sockings tweets.
Speaker 1: So I can't find a tweet again. So I'm gonna
Speaker 1: do it again. But I'm gonna read this poem, which
Speaker 1: I really like. It's just so stupid. But I do
Speaker 1: these poems on Twitter like almost every day. Like I say, poetry,
Speaker 1: windows open and people give me topics, so this There
Speaker 1: are more a lot of times they're just jokes like
Speaker 1: this one. Someone sent me the topic back in the
Speaker 1: Saddle and I said, what Steven Tyler screams into his
Speaker 1: sleep appne a mouthpiece, which I which, I just like
Speaker 1: that one. And that's for the older crowd. I would
Speaker 1: have done something younger, but I don't know what the
Speaker 1: fucking Mandalorian is. Yeah, that's what you're gonna have to
Speaker 1: google right after. We were gonna shit out of it,
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna watch Frozen. I'm gonna cry all by
Speaker 1: myself healthy. I bet you are right. I'm not kidding,
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna put that shit on my face what's
Speaker 1: it called again? Aqua? I'm gonna be covered in aquafore
Speaker 1: watching Frozen. If anyone needs me, hold my calls. Tweet
Speaker 1: I've been enjoying Alex Turnteine for what tweeted I hate
Speaker 1: small talk? Oh okay, what are your thoughts on the
Speaker 1: Louisiana purchase? I saw that that was such a funny one. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're right, that was a good one. I love that one.
Speaker 1: People who say they hate small talk, like I feel
Speaker 1: like everybody does, and we still do it like I
Speaker 1: don't anyway. My therapist, though, you can't. Like I used
Speaker 1: to try and trauma bond and be like people would
Speaker 1: be like, hey, how's the weather, and I'd be like, all,
Speaker 1: I had a bad childhood. You're not supposed to do
Speaker 1: that either. We're supposed to be somewhere in the middle. Yeah,
Speaker 1: ask him about the Louisiana purchase. Yeah, there's something in
Speaker 1: the middle, something neutral, something that neither one of you
Speaker 1: knows what it is. There you go. You can find
Speaker 1: me on Twitter at Jack Underscore O'Brian. You can find
Speaker 1: us on Twitter at Daily Zeitgeist. We're at the Daily
Speaker 1: Zekegeist on Instagram, we have a fan page on a website,
Speaker 1: daily zeitgeis dot com, where we post our episodes and
Speaker 1: our footnotes, where we link off to the information that
Speaker 1: we talked about in today's episode, as well as a
Speaker 1: song that we think you might enjoy. Superproducer Justin is
Speaker 1: there a song but you think people might enjoy? Well,
Speaker 1: it's been a rainy day and it looks like a
Speaker 1: rainy rest of the weekend for la, so to fit
Speaker 1: the mood, I'm suggesting this dark, cynthy industrial track with
Speaker 1: a huge sound to it. I first found this song
Speaker 1: a few years ago while I was watching a trailer
Speaker 1: for a defunct video game that got marred and scandal
Speaker 1: and never actually released. I don't think I'm not going
Speaker 1: to get into it, but this track is amazing. It's
Speaker 1: called Acid Rain by Lorn and you can find that
Speaker 1: song in the footnotes footnotes. Also, the article that I
Speaker 1: was talking about about the like change in the Netherlands
Speaker 1: is from a thread by Michael Thomas. Will link off
Speaker 1: to that tweet and the footnotes. All right. The Daily
Speaker 1: zeit Geis is a production of iHeartRadio from more podcast
Speaker 1: from i Heeartradio. Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or
Speaker 1: wherever fine podcasts are given away for free. That is
Speaker 1: going to do it for us this morning, back this
Speaker 1: afternoon to tell you what is trending and we will
Speaker 1: talk to you all then. Bye bye bye