1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,880 Speaker 1: Guys have to reiterate how much I loved this man 2 00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:05,800 Speaker 1: and how effing heart wrenching it was to see him 3 00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:08,880 Speaker 1: still acting like nothing had gone wrong. It took so 4 00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:11,200 Speaker 1: much willpower to not just pretend none of it had 5 00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:13,000 Speaker 1: ever happened and go home to him. I know a 6 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:14,920 Speaker 1: lot of you will yell at me and accuse me 7 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:18,160 Speaker 1: of being terrified confronting him about this, which is not true. 8 00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:21,320 Speaker 1: Please have some empathy. It takes me time to process 9 00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:23,920 Speaker 1: my emotions, and I wouldn't have been able to form 10 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:26,720 Speaker 1: a sentence if I tried to confront him immediately after 11 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:30,400 Speaker 1: seeing this messages. I needed some time away with Sophie 12 00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:32,800 Speaker 1: to recollect myself, and so I stayed the night at 13 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:35,879 Speaker 1: her place. She ordered us Chinese, and she helped me 14 00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:38,680 Speaker 1: plan how I would confront him. 15 00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:39,320 Speaker 2: Damn. 16 00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:42,440 Speaker 1: Also, I was your souther I'm not it was a joke. 17 00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:46,239 Speaker 1: It was a joke. I'm not advocating to actually do that. 18 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:47,800 Speaker 1: Jesus Sive. 19 00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:49,879 Speaker 2: It sounds like you were advocating to actually do that. 20 00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:52,000 Speaker 1: He's not advocated to actually do that. 21 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:55,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think my plan's the best. 22 00:00:55,880 --> 00:01:01,080 Speaker 1: Uh yeah, said a little Yeah. Just send the way photos, Yeah, 23 00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:04,240 Speaker 1: send them the marriage the cold age. 24 00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:06,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like that's why we have the same last name. 25 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:10,240 Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh that's good. So I stayed the night at 26 00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:12,959 Speaker 1: her place. She orders Chinese. Oh yeah, so what So 27 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:16,240 Speaker 1: we're thinking, send wedding pictures is the way to do it. 28 00:01:16,319 --> 00:01:18,640 Speaker 2: Send somehow get these to the office. 29 00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:21,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, somehow get like some smooch picks to the office. 30 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:24,200 Speaker 2: Yeah. The only reason I was saying, if you do 31 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:25,959 Speaker 2: it on Instagram and you follow all of them that way, 32 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:28,880 Speaker 2: you don't have to like directly do anything. Oh, it's 33 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:31,280 Speaker 2: just like a reminiscing. 34 00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:34,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, like put it on your story or something. So 35 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:37,200 Speaker 1: I got a bunch more texting calls from him as 36 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:40,240 Speaker 1: the evening progressed, and I eventually put my phone on 37 00:01:40,319 --> 00:01:43,360 Speaker 1: do not disturb. Sunday morning, I woke up feeling more 38 00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:47,039 Speaker 1: angry than sad, so I opened my phone and finally 39 00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:50,840 Speaker 1: replied to his messages coming home, now, need to talk. 40 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:55,960 Speaker 1: I kept it cryptic to make him work, make him squirm, 41 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:59,480 Speaker 1: to be honest, because I was slash am fraught with emotions. 42 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:02,040 Speaker 1: I can't I remember the entire conversation word for word, 43 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:05,040 Speaker 1: but I'll try to replay it as best I can. 44 00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:08,120 Speaker 1: Long story short, I got home and he tried to 45 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:10,680 Speaker 1: hug me, but I refused, and we stood in the kitchen. 46 00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:13,320 Speaker 1: I did confront him like some suggested, and I just said, 47 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:18,320 Speaker 1: why have you been telling your co workers? I'm your sister? 48 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:21,040 Speaker 2: She was in a swivel chair and all those lights 49 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:23,919 Speaker 2: were off. She's like, why have you been telling your 50 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:25,520 Speaker 2: coworkers I'm your sister? 51 00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:31,239 Speaker 1: Yeah, she turns the light on. Yeah, the overhead. It's 52 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:32,839 Speaker 1: like that one scene in The Incredibles. 53 00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:37,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like, where have you been? Where have you been? 54 00:02:38,919 --> 00:02:41,919 Speaker 1: No? Note? 55 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:44,880 Speaker 3: Coh, God, you. 56 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:45,800 Speaker 2: Could have been killed. 57 00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:50,360 Speaker 1: You thought was facing an inquiry and work well. I 58 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:52,400 Speaker 1: wish it would have been more like a movie scene 59 00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:55,920 Speaker 1: where the color drained from his face or he immediately 60 00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:58,239 Speaker 1: looked like a deer in the headlights. But he didn't. 61 00:02:58,520 --> 00:02:58,800 Speaker 2: Damn. 62 00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:01,840 Speaker 1: It was like he had been girding himself for this 63 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:04,840 Speaker 1: confrontation for a while, because he just frowned at me 64 00:03:05,639 --> 00:03:07,000 Speaker 1: and looked flabbergasted. 65 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:08,040 Speaker 2: Is that a word? 66 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:12,000 Speaker 1: I have no idea girding? What's it girding me? What's 67 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:13,480 Speaker 1: what's girding chat? 68 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:14,480 Speaker 2: What's girding chat? 69 00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:18,400 Speaker 1: What's girting? We will trust whatever you say explicitly. He 70 00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:21,120 Speaker 1: just said, huh, this made me so angry. How are 71 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:24,040 Speaker 1: you going to pretend to be stupid after three years 72 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:29,800 Speaker 1: of lying? I basically said, don't play effing dump. Two 73 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:32,640 Speaker 1: of your coworkers have greeted me as your sister, and 74 00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:35,720 Speaker 1: I have proof of you telling them, and I know 75 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:38,440 Speaker 1: you're pretending to be single. Essentially, I asked him what 76 00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:42,600 Speaker 1: he had to say for himself, he's still played stupid. 77 00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:45,720 Speaker 1: He became moderately defensive and just kept saying, I don't 78 00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:48,440 Speaker 1: know what you're talking about or why would a lie 79 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:52,880 Speaker 1: about you? Babe. I cannot describe how furious I was 80 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:55,640 Speaker 1: at this point. I was in tears. I always cry 81 00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:58,040 Speaker 1: when I'm angry, so he was trying to comfort me 82 00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:01,200 Speaker 1: as if I was having some a rational breakdown. It's 83 00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:03,800 Speaker 1: on your head. I showed him the screenshot of his 84 00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:07,720 Speaker 1: message saying me and sis, and I said something like 85 00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:10,200 Speaker 1: you tell me. He just said, I don't know what 86 00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:14,080 Speaker 1: looking up BIB, and I'm confused, like, Babe, is. 87 00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:16,159 Speaker 2: This from your brother? I don't understand. 88 00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:18,760 Speaker 1: It doesn't make sense does your does your brother work 89 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:19,600 Speaker 1: in my office? 90 00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:21,920 Speaker 2: I didn't know that. Why didn't you tell me. 91 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:25,080 Speaker 1: That I was crazy? Babe? I had no idea. I 92 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:28,320 Speaker 1: got so angry that I left again, went back to 93 00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:30,880 Speaker 1: Sophie's because I felt like I was on a dead 94 00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:33,320 Speaker 1: end road. I didn't think I was going to get 95 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:35,440 Speaker 1: him to admit anything, and I was just getting so 96 00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:39,360 Speaker 1: furious I couldn't continue. He was really upset and in tears, 97 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:41,800 Speaker 1: which to me was evidence that he knew he was 98 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:43,880 Speaker 1: lying and that he was going to have to come 99 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:47,680 Speaker 1: up with some explanation. Jefine Mudela Burgers says, he is 100 00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:49,600 Speaker 1: trying so hard to gaslight. 101 00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:49,960 Speaker 2: Yeah. 102 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:52,000 Speaker 1: He tried to get me to stay, but I told 103 00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:54,600 Speaker 1: him that until you have something to say for yourself, 104 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:56,600 Speaker 1: you've got nothing to talk about. 105 00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:59,279 Speaker 2: Until you have something to say for yourself, you have 106 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:02,239 Speaker 2: nothing to say to me, oh maam, and then you walk. 107 00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:05,520 Speaker 1: Out bam, shut the door. At around eight thirty ish, 108 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:07,560 Speaker 1: he called me again and I did pick up. He 109 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:10,800 Speaker 1: basically asked for us to talk, and he said he 110 00:05:10,880 --> 00:05:12,480 Speaker 1: has some things to say. So I went back to 111 00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:14,239 Speaker 1: our apartment. He had written out a bunch of stuff 112 00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:15,920 Speaker 1: on a piece of paper as if he had a 113 00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:19,159 Speaker 1: prepared speech, and sat me down on the couch. He 114 00:05:19,279 --> 00:05:22,080 Speaker 1: asked me not to say anything while he was explaining himself. Dude, 115 00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:24,880 Speaker 1: this is going to be the explanation slash performance of 116 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:28,160 Speaker 1: a lifetime. I wish we knew what he did. What 117 00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:28,640 Speaker 1: do you mean? 118 00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:32,040 Speaker 4: Because it might be more financially beneficial for him to 119 00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:34,680 Speaker 4: refer to her as sister rather than. 120 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:38,400 Speaker 1: Wy Oh, I am the corporate ladder. 121 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:40,040 Speaker 4: Yeah, yea yeah, because he has to bang his way 122 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:40,680 Speaker 4: up to the top. 123 00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:41,120 Speaker 1: Yeah. 124 00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:43,240 Speaker 2: Baby, you don't understand. It was for us. 125 00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:46,280 Speaker 1: It was for us. Do you want that big house 126 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:47,479 Speaker 1: in the country? 127 00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:48,479 Speaker 4: Do you want that lambo? 128 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:51,400 Speaker 1: How you do it? Yeah? Yeah. If there's one thing 129 00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:55,240 Speaker 1: we know about op, she wants the lambo, she wants 130 00:05:55,279 --> 00:05:57,080 Speaker 1: the title. 131 00:05:58,040 --> 00:05:59,000 Speaker 2: I want the lambo. 132 00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:00,920 Speaker 1: I want the lamb, and I want my husband to 133 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:04,000 Speaker 1: do whatever it takes or write down the gist of 134 00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:06,920 Speaker 1: what he said in bullet points. He started by apologizing 135 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:10,600 Speaker 1: relentlessly and admitting that he pretended to be stupid before 136 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:15,200 Speaker 1: because he couldn't immediately think of something to say for himself, 137 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:18,200 Speaker 1: as in, he couldn't immediately think of a good excuse. 138 00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:22,320 Speaker 2: We sorry one second. It's not that I'm coming up 139 00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:26,359 Speaker 2: with the excuse. The response right now is that. 140 00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:28,880 Speaker 1: I made time to come up with it for later, 141 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:32,440 Speaker 1: for later. Babe. It's because I care so much that 142 00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:35,960 Speaker 1: I want to gaslight you like I wouldn't gaslight you. 143 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:38,560 Speaker 1: If I didn't care. Think about that, babe, but didn't care, 144 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:40,120 Speaker 1: I would just break up with you. 145 00:06:40,279 --> 00:06:41,000 Speaker 2: So you're welcome. 146 00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:43,240 Speaker 1: Do You're welcome. Sticking around, you'll get to get that 147 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:47,200 Speaker 1: lambou babe. He said that immediately after he started at 148 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:50,240 Speaker 1: his job, he realized the atmosphere was like a frat house. 149 00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:52,919 Speaker 1: All his team members were men in their twenties and 150 00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:56,520 Speaker 1: thirties that were single and f boys his words. He 151 00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:59,799 Speaker 1: noticed that one guy in their team that was married 152 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:03,599 Speaker 1: would either get picked on or essentially excluded from any 153 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:08,200 Speaker 1: and all social interactions. Maybe that was lame that included 154 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:11,840 Speaker 1: getting lunch, inside jokes, going out on Friday, et cetera. 155 00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:14,880 Speaker 1: These guys were friendly and welcoming to Josh, and he 156 00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:18,080 Speaker 1: admitted that he was desperate to fit in with them. 157 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:20,679 Speaker 1: He hated feeling like fresh meat, so he was scared 158 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:24,160 Speaker 1: that saying he was married would alienate him from his coworkers, 159 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:26,880 Speaker 1: and at first he just never mentioned that he was married. 160 00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:30,000 Speaker 1: He said he did wear his wedding ring and that 161 00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:32,320 Speaker 1: they had never pointed it out. A few months in 162 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:35,040 Speaker 1: they were all out drinking. He admitted that after one 163 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,840 Speaker 1: of his workmates saw a picture of him and I 164 00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:40,080 Speaker 1: on his log screen, they asked who that was, and, 165 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:44,400 Speaker 1: in a moment a panic, he said, my sister, bro. 166 00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:47,480 Speaker 2: None of this is making me feel bad for him. 167 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:50,240 Speaker 1: He was really apologetic at this point, and he was 168 00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:53,640 Speaker 1: crying a lot good. He's like, if I'm sniveling so hard, 169 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:56,040 Speaker 1: maybe she'll take me back. He couldn't even look at me, 170 00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:58,760 Speaker 1: and he was just reading what he had wrote down. Anyway. 171 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:01,840 Speaker 1: He said from then on he basically dug himself deeper 172 00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:04,840 Speaker 1: and deeper because they kept grilling him about me and 173 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:07,160 Speaker 1: wanting to see more pictures of me. He said he 174 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:08,960 Speaker 1: had let it go on too long and that he 175 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:11,960 Speaker 1: didn't have the balls to admit the lie. They would 176 00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:14,600 Speaker 1: always bring me up and ask crap like did you 177 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:18,320 Speaker 1: give her my number yet, broke damn? Or joke that 178 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:21,400 Speaker 1: they had slept with me, etc. Sounds like a great 179 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:22,120 Speaker 1: work environment. 180 00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:23,320 Speaker 2: Ah, So when he. 181 00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:25,880 Speaker 1: Got that message from Jake, he essentially thought it was 182 00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:29,440 Speaker 1: just him taking the piss, But he didn't like the 183 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:31,840 Speaker 1: jokes they made about me and said that I was 184 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:35,160 Speaker 1: married in hopes they would stop they did not. He 185 00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:37,000 Speaker 1: said that this wasn't the first time he told them 186 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:39,040 Speaker 1: I was married. In fact, he had said so pretty 187 00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:41,800 Speaker 1: much immediately after saying I was his sister. He said 188 00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:44,440 Speaker 1: that those pictures of us and nuth Adua were the 189 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:48,160 Speaker 1: only pictures that he had purposely sent and deliberately lied about. 190 00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:51,760 Speaker 1: After that, he called an endless arbarage of pestering from 191 00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:54,480 Speaker 1: his colleagues to share the pics from his holiday. He 192 00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:56,320 Speaker 1: said that he was really ashamed that he did that. 193 00:08:56,679 --> 00:08:58,600 Speaker 1: He told me he had never had an affair or 194 00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:02,079 Speaker 1: even consider it. The message between him and his female 195 00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:06,040 Speaker 1: colleagues were banter it's and that it was commonplace to 196 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:07,800 Speaker 1: talk to people like that in the office. 197 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:10,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, because it sounds like all of the men in 198 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:11,040 Speaker 2: your office suck. 199 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:14,480 Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean it's to women. 200 00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:16,679 Speaker 2: No, I know, but I feel like he's saying, Oh, 201 00:09:16,679 --> 00:09:19,480 Speaker 2: it's commonplace in the office for the men to yeah, 202 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:21,640 Speaker 2: to banter like that doesn't mean it's good. 203 00:09:21,679 --> 00:09:24,280 Speaker 1: I mean we banter in the office. Banta, we banter, 204 00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:28,199 Speaker 1: profess Yeah, there's not a lot in that office. He 205 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:30,680 Speaker 1: also said he knows how disgusting it is, and he 206 00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:33,320 Speaker 1: is embarrassed to have been acting like an f boy 207 00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:36,520 Speaker 1: again his word. He concluded his speech by apologizing again 208 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:40,640 Speaker 1: and said that he was disgusted with himself and ashamed 209 00:09:40,679 --> 00:09:42,360 Speaker 1: that he had lied for so long, but he felt 210 00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:44,400 Speaker 1: like he had trapped himself and that he couldn't find 211 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,160 Speaker 1: a way to get himself out of it. He said 212 00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:48,959 Speaker 1: he knows he could have confessed the truth to either 213 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:51,160 Speaker 1: his coworkers or to me at any point, but that 214 00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:53,360 Speaker 1: he didn't because he was a coward. He said that 215 00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:56,520 Speaker 1: he'll confess to his entire office that he lied, and 216 00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:58,520 Speaker 1: that I am his wife and not his sister if 217 00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:00,360 Speaker 1: I want him to. He said that he will quit 218 00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:03,199 Speaker 1: his job now without a word of it it would 219 00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:05,000 Speaker 1: if that would make me feel better, and that he 220 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:09,040 Speaker 1: hopes I can't forgive him, but he understands if I can't. 221 00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:11,400 Speaker 1: I'm gonna pause really quick right there. How do we 222 00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:12,560 Speaker 1: feel about this apology? 223 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:17,040 Speaker 2: I don't know. I like, I'm kind of embarrassed about him. 224 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:19,080 Speaker 2: Like I think if if someone was telling me that, 225 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:20,839 Speaker 2: I'd be like, I got the ick. 226 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:25,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, It's like it's like not as right. 227 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:30,360 Speaker 2: As cheating, but it's embarrassing. 228 00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:32,800 Speaker 1: But it's kind of embarrassing. I'm like, damn, like you 229 00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:35,880 Speaker 1: have such a lack of spine. Yeah, that you couldn't 230 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:38,880 Speaker 1: even say that I was your wife, Like, yeah, how 231 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:42,040 Speaker 1: are you going to fight for a marriage when things 232 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:43,400 Speaker 1: get tough? How are you like, if we want to 233 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:45,600 Speaker 1: have kids, how are you gonna like do what's right 234 00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:46,360 Speaker 1: for them? You know? 235 00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:48,760 Speaker 2: What are you going to say that you're who are? 236 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:51,240 Speaker 2: Like if they ask, oh, whose kids are these? Like, oh, 237 00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:52,040 Speaker 2: they're my sisters. 238 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:54,920 Speaker 1: There my sisters. Wait, one of them is mine, that's 239 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:57,080 Speaker 1: what I like. The other two like I don't like? 240 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:02,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, no, well Lissa, oh no. Kansas says Bro will 241 00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:05,400 Speaker 2: be bullied more for this. Lol. They're absolutely gonna bully 242 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:08,280 Speaker 2: him way more if he confesses, because they're gonna be like, 243 00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:10,920 Speaker 2: what kind of loser doesn't even fess? 244 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:14,800 Speaker 1: If this was your boyfriend, would you break up? Kind 245 00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:19,520 Speaker 1: after they've been dating for six years and they're married 246 00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:23,680 Speaker 1: and they've been okay, I think he's been at his 247 00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:24,640 Speaker 1: job for three years. 248 00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:27,200 Speaker 2: I guess I would go to therapy first, But it's 249 00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:29,520 Speaker 2: I don't know, it's still pretty like. 250 00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:32,920 Speaker 1: So and also Ikaru says it does not explain sending 251 00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:35,800 Speaker 1: private messages being flirty with these women. We don't know 252 00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:39,440 Speaker 1: what the messages are just the face. Yeah, you know, 253 00:11:39,559 --> 00:11:44,080 Speaker 1: like I said, winky faces to Riley though, like like 254 00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:48,600 Speaker 1: and and like, I like, I don't you just slept 255 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:49,400 Speaker 1: my butt here and there? 256 00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:52,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, but I'm but like, presumably he's not sending those 257 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:53,640 Speaker 2: winky faces to the men. 258 00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:55,480 Speaker 1: Also, maybe not. I don't know. 259 00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:57,520 Speaker 4: He wrote all this down and he's reading from a 260 00:11:57,520 --> 00:12:00,160 Speaker 4: piece of paper and it seems like he's been preparing 261 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:02,120 Speaker 4: for this or a minute. 262 00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:04,440 Speaker 2: No, I think he like just wrote that down. 263 00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:05,880 Speaker 1: I think he just wrote it down town. 264 00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:10,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, now I think therapy. But I would understand if 265 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:11,479 Speaker 2: she got divorced. 266 00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:15,080 Speaker 1: I for me, if it was if this happened to me, 267 00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:18,840 Speaker 1: it would be there. If I'm married, it would be 268 00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:21,800 Speaker 1: if if it's if it's a year relationship, I'm like, 269 00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:24,439 Speaker 1: that's right, I'd probably break up if I'm married. I 270 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:25,480 Speaker 1: don't think I would break up. 271 00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:28,719 Speaker 4: Did you immediately tell everyone at your workplace? You have 272 00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:30,480 Speaker 4: to tell them I'm your wife, not your sister. 273 00:12:30,559 --> 00:12:32,319 Speaker 2: I think so. I think that's like, yeah, I think 274 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:33,760 Speaker 2: even if you break up, he's got to do that. 275 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:37,080 Speaker 1: Like, I think more I'm kind of on the same 276 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:38,959 Speaker 1: page as of FIA's like it's just it's just it's 277 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:39,440 Speaker 1: just ick. 278 00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:39,960 Speaker 2: Yeah. 279 00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:42,480 Speaker 1: It's like like, oh, like I like I want I 280 00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:43,920 Speaker 1: want the person I'm dating to be. 281 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:47,800 Speaker 2: Like oh yeah, so well also just not even just 282 00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:51,160 Speaker 2: have courage, but also just like so proud to be 283 00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:53,680 Speaker 2: you know, my partner be like, oh my god, shut 284 00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:54,319 Speaker 2: me off. 285 00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:58,960 Speaker 1: She's so off wife. Yeah, she like just like does 286 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:04,160 Speaker 1: all these plans to like orchestral events and just like 287 00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:08,559 Speaker 1: shares my interests. Yeah, and makes me laugh. 288 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:13,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, Jim says, explain how you're divorcing your sister will 289 00:13:13,559 --> 00:13:18,040 Speaker 2: be fun conversation. He's like, I'm getting a divorce and 290 00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:21,000 Speaker 2: they're like, too, you're married. And he's like yeah to 291 00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:23,440 Speaker 2: her and they're like, isn't that your sister? 292 00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:27,439 Speaker 1: And see if a divorce or not. I would love 293 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:30,040 Speaker 1: to know from from chat you guys, would you guys 294 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:35,320 Speaker 1: divorce or not? You're in divorce, I'm in, I'm in. 295 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:38,920 Speaker 1: I'm in therapy, therapy. If married, I'm in therapy and 296 00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:41,599 Speaker 1: then divorce if I can't shake the ick? Yeah, what 297 00:13:41,760 --> 00:13:43,760 Speaker 1: what are you? What are you feeling? Riley? 298 00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:50,200 Speaker 4: I would say divorce wife's number one priority being considerate whatsoever? 299 00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:54,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, like sister, come on. Sorry. 300 00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:56,120 Speaker 4: This also happened to a guy in the Bible where 301 00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:58,480 Speaker 4: he said that his wife was his sister so he 302 00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:00,600 Speaker 4: could get through a piece of land and got mad 303 00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:00,960 Speaker 4: at him. 304 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:04,160 Speaker 1: So, yeah, dude, even God's like, that's whack dots. 305 00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:09,440 Speaker 2: Those guy's working a job at his office and God 306 00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:11,280 Speaker 2: comes down. Dude, that's whack. 307 00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:15,920 Speaker 1: That's not chiel bro. I can forgive him, but he 308 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,320 Speaker 1: understands if I can't. Anyway, I couldn't really think of 309 00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:19,960 Speaker 1: anything to say at that point. He went to lock 310 00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:22,200 Speaker 1: himself in the bathroom and I just sat on the 311 00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:23,280 Speaker 1: crouch crying. 312 00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:27,280 Speaker 2: This is also even his reaction is embarrassing, dude. 313 00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:29,479 Speaker 1: He's kind of like kind of totally. 314 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:32,280 Speaker 2: Okay to you know, crying. You're having like people. 315 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:35,480 Speaker 1: Are saying, no thought of people are saying, don't divorce. 316 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:38,560 Speaker 2: What I understand in the terms of like therapy first, but. 317 00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:41,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, well, what would the conversation be, Like the conversation 318 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:44,800 Speaker 1: if we're really like outlining the conversation that needs to 319 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:47,280 Speaker 1: happen here he felt the need to lie, Yeah, And 320 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:50,400 Speaker 1: obviously so he's not secure enough, right, and so like, 321 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:52,280 Speaker 1: I think you need to ask a couple, like if 322 00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:55,040 Speaker 1: she's actually trying to understand you, to ask like a 323 00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:57,520 Speaker 1: couple whys, Like, first of all, you need to understand, 324 00:14:57,520 --> 00:15:00,000 Speaker 1: like he needs to understand what he did was absolutely 325 00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:03,600 Speaker 1: terrible and like not acceptable at all. But I guess, 326 00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:06,400 Speaker 1: like understand, Okay, So why do you feel the need 327 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:08,880 Speaker 1: to lie to your coworkers? Why do you not have 328 00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:16,720 Speaker 1: any respect and their exactly why do you need their approval? Yeah? Mind? 329 00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:19,040 Speaker 1: And then like, I think you've got to get to 330 00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:21,120 Speaker 1: the bottom of like where is he sourcing his sense 331 00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:27,000 Speaker 1: of self worth? And I think when you can understand that, 332 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:30,200 Speaker 1: you can understand why he's taking these like evasive maneuvers 333 00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:34,840 Speaker 1: to that really hurt the marriage. Jellyba says, have you 334 00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:37,440 Speaker 1: been about around Alex lately? Yeah? This is such a 335 00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:39,880 Speaker 1: this is an Alex response. I was talking to him 336 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:46,320 Speaker 1: this morning. But yeah, yeah, he's a good Oh yeah 337 00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:48,400 Speaker 1: he does. I still know if I can trust what 338 00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:51,120 Speaker 1: he said, and to lie that extreme is just baffling 339 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:53,320 Speaker 1: to me. If you can lie like that for so long, 340 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:56,000 Speaker 1: what else could he be lying about? But his explanation 341 00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:59,440 Speaker 1: apology seems so sincere and genuine, and I guess to 342 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:03,040 Speaker 1: an extent what he said is believable. He's always been extroverted, 343 00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:05,880 Speaker 1: but very susceptible to peer pressure. Okay, okay, so this 344 00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:08,280 Speaker 1: is a character trait at least she knows that, especially 345 00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:10,520 Speaker 1: from other books. If nothing else. To me, it's a 346 00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:12,360 Speaker 1: sign of shocking immaturity, which is. 347 00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:17,880 Speaker 2: Knew this was a British story. It's definitely because they 348 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:21,520 Speaker 2: said we ordered Chinese. It could be no, because we 349 00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:27,040 Speaker 2: like American's always said like Chinese food, well usual Chinese 350 00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:28,000 Speaker 2: he ordered. 351 00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:30,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's correct. 352 00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:33,040 Speaker 4: I know they said that hundreds of years ago, and 353 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:35,400 Speaker 4: it's crazy. 354 00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:39,920 Speaker 1: Nothing else to me, it's a sign of shocking immaturity. Anyway, 355 00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:41,920 Speaker 1: I packed up a bag and went back to Sophie's 356 00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:43,880 Speaker 1: and I'm still at her place as I'm writing this. 357 00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:45,720 Speaker 1: She said, I can stay as long as I need to. 358 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:48,120 Speaker 1: I told Josh that I needed some time away from 359 00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:50,080 Speaker 1: him to think about everything and whether or not to 360 00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:52,600 Speaker 1: believe him again, or whether I can ever trust him again. 361 00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:55,200 Speaker 1: He told me to take as long as I need, 362 00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:57,720 Speaker 1: and that he will still be there if or when 363 00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:00,480 Speaker 1: I get back. He even said even if it takes 364 00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:05,960 Speaker 1: a year. Right now, nothing feels real. I'm still dealing 365 00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:08,320 Speaker 1: with the emotional whiplash from all of this, and I 366 00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:10,720 Speaker 1: can't keep food down or think about anything. I've taken 367 00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:12,960 Speaker 1: the day off work, and Josh told me he's going 368 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:15,200 Speaker 1: to take off the whole week. Sophie and my other 369 00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:17,480 Speaker 1: friends have told me not to make a decision on 370 00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:19,480 Speaker 1: anything until my head is clear. I spoke to my 371 00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:21,919 Speaker 1: parents this morning, and my mom says it's just a 372 00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:25,120 Speaker 1: bump in the road, but she and my dad adore Josh, 373 00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:27,840 Speaker 1: so they're pretty biased. Loll. That's where I am right now. 374 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,359 Speaker 1: I'll take some time before I consider my next steps. 375 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:33,080 Speaker 1: I can't say whether I'm leaning towards forgiveness or divorce, 376 00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:34,439 Speaker 1: and I think we're gonna get more on an update, 377 00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:37,119 Speaker 1: but those are really the only options. I kind of 378 00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:39,520 Speaker 1: feel lost in a void at the moment. That's probably 379 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:42,200 Speaker 1: the best way to describe it, just emptiness. Thanks again 380 00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:44,879 Speaker 1: for all your advice and support. I'm so grateful, and 381 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,080 Speaker 1: having this place to write down all my thoughts has 382 00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:49,080 Speaker 1: been helpful to get my mind a little clearer. This 383 00:17:49,119 --> 00:17:51,320 Speaker 1: will be my last update. Is that true? There is 384 00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:54,159 Speaker 1: some relevant comments with responses from op so we might 385 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:58,640 Speaker 1: get a little bit more context, But right now, Sophia. 386 00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:01,720 Speaker 2: What sorry jes Brick, Whe's made a doctor who reference 387 00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:05,480 Speaker 2: just a year Rory waited for amy for two thousand 388 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:09,119 Speaker 2: years one years pathetic so true. 389 00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:12,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I think I think this is definitely 390 00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:17,359 Speaker 1: less bad than cheating. Yeah, but it's like it's like 391 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:19,320 Speaker 1: I feel like, but it is a lot. But the 392 00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:21,480 Speaker 1: thing is it is it has been a lie for 393 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:27,120 Speaker 1: like Yeah, yeah, it's just it's just embarrassing. I don't 394 00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:29,320 Speaker 1: think it's it's definitely a bump of the road. But 395 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,480 Speaker 1: I don't know if it's for me. I don't know 396 00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:34,919 Speaker 1: if it would divorce worthy, it would be breakup worthy. Okay, 397 00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:37,080 Speaker 1: I might try to figure it out if I was married. 398 00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:40,200 Speaker 4: Divorce worthy, if he got zero promotions from this, if 399 00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:40,880 Speaker 4: this got him. 400 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:45,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the real question. Did you really get in 401 00:18:45,119 --> 00:18:47,480 Speaker 1: with the inner circle so you can can make that 402 00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:50,639 Speaker 1: work for you? Cowbot is a god, says imagine risking 403 00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:53,320 Speaker 1: damaging your marriage so you can hang out with f boys. 404 00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:57,760 Speaker 2: Liked But but like it was for the boys. I 405 00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:00,600 Speaker 2: had to do it. I had to do for the boys. 406 00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:03,160 Speaker 1: The boys. The boys need me more than you, babe. 407 00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:03,440 Speaker 2: Yeah. 408 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:07,000 Speaker 1: Brianna from Australia says, point, why didn't you make friends 409 00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:10,760 Speaker 1: with the other married guy because the other guy's lame? 410 00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:14,679 Speaker 1: You just wanted to talk about his wife all the 411 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:17,040 Speaker 1: time and like go home and spend time with her. 412 00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:19,880 Speaker 1: I wanted to hang out with the boys and get wasted. 413 00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:26,800 Speaker 4: Hopefully John doesn't turn out like that. What like he 414 00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:28,840 Speaker 4: got lame and all was to go to his wife 415 00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:31,160 Speaker 4: and hang out with her, you know the boys. 416 00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:34,000 Speaker 1: I mean he does hang out with his girlfriend a lot. Yeah, 417 00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:39,240 Speaker 1: and so do you with your girlfriend? Like every weekend? 418 00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:41,000 Speaker 1: What are you talking about on the weekends? 419 00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:42,240 Speaker 4: Like, I'm here some weekends. 420 00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:45,480 Speaker 1: It's weird when you're here on weekends. I'm like that's like, 421 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:48,879 Speaker 1: I'm like, I remember Riley was here last weekend. I'm like, 422 00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:50,359 Speaker 1: what are you doing here? And he's like, oh, like 423 00:19:50,359 --> 00:19:51,359 Speaker 1: and he's busy this weekend. 424 00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:58,919 Speaker 2: Me, Sam and Christian holding the fort down, Holding the fort. 425 00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:03,080 Speaker 1: We love holding the fort. But let's get some relevant comments. 426 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,600 Speaker 1: So Opie on it her husband wears his wedding ring 427 00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:07,359 Speaker 1: when he is out with his colleagues and if they 428 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:10,800 Speaker 1: notice anything different about her husband, Opie said he hasn't 429 00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:14,480 Speaker 1: taken his ring off and people had pointed it out before, 430 00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:16,480 Speaker 1: but he just managed to weasel his way out of 431 00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:18,919 Speaker 1: explaining it. But he said people almost never noticed I 432 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:20,800 Speaker 1: struggled to believe that, but I don't know. Thank you. 433 00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:22,439 Speaker 1: That's how I feel too. From what he said, it 434 00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:25,199 Speaker 1: sounded like it went unacknowledged because he never tried anything 435 00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:27,719 Speaker 1: on with other women. But that's giving him a lot 436 00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:29,840 Speaker 1: of grace, more grace than I'm willing to give him 437 00:20:30,119 --> 00:20:33,560 Speaker 1: right now anyway. Nine Millimeter Girl says, having worked in 438 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,680 Speaker 1: the finance industry for years forty three female, there's definitely 439 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:40,200 Speaker 1: a more clique vibe than in some other industries. Being 440 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:43,760 Speaker 1: single and parting hard off hours is expected if you're 441 00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:46,119 Speaker 1: coming up the ranks, and you definitely get picked on, 442 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:49,720 Speaker 1: singled out, and or passed over in favor of yes 443 00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:52,920 Speaker 1: men slash company men. If you don't comply. That being said, 444 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:55,560 Speaker 1: your husband has no backbone. It takes an individual with 445 00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:57,800 Speaker 1: a strong sense of self to march to the beat 446 00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:00,600 Speaker 1: of their own drum when everyone else is doing something different. 447 00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:02,720 Speaker 1: His inability to even admit that he is in a 448 00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:06,040 Speaker 1: committed relationship is likely foreshadowing how he will be when 449 00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:08,040 Speaker 1: times get tough. That's kind of what I was saying earlier. 450 00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:10,320 Speaker 1: It's like, you know, if you can't do this's what's 451 00:21:10,359 --> 00:21:12,680 Speaker 1: going to happen when things actually are hard in your marriage, 452 00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:15,040 Speaker 1: and they will get tough if you stay together. My 453 00:21:15,119 --> 00:21:17,639 Speaker 1: recommendation is that he attends therapy on his own and 454 00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:21,000 Speaker 1: you attend couple counseling together with a different therapist, but 455 00:21:21,119 --> 00:21:24,040 Speaker 1: only if you want to do so. OHP responds, this 456 00:21:24,119 --> 00:21:26,280 Speaker 1: is really helpful to know. Thank you. I don't work 457 00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:28,800 Speaker 1: in finance. I work for a small creative company, so 458 00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:31,600 Speaker 1: I have no clue about the workplace culture and other industries. 459 00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:35,359 Speaker 1: But yeah, I'm pretty horrified that he was that weak 460 00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:38,680 Speaker 1: willed under pressure of random men. If I can ever 461 00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:41,040 Speaker 1: bring myself to forgive him, I could definitely force him 462 00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:45,040 Speaker 1: to attend counseling or just someone like some like self confidence. 463 00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:47,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, he needs to start looking into the mirror and 464 00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:48,800 Speaker 2: being like you're worth it. 465 00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:53,679 Speaker 1: Yeah, wife, you have a wife. I knew he was 466 00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:57,040 Speaker 1: easily peter pressured, but not to this extent and pleasant 467 00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:59,320 Speaker 1: ad Or seventy eight four says, I'm so sorry you're 468 00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:01,800 Speaker 1: going through this. What an absolute gut punch. When I 469 00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:03,600 Speaker 1: read your first post, I was thinking there was a 470 00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:06,399 Speaker 1: very good chance he didn't want to tell everyone he 471 00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:09,240 Speaker 1: was married for this exact reason. It seems that fitting 472 00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:11,119 Speaker 1: in and being liked by a bunch of frat bros 473 00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:13,640 Speaker 1: was more important than him honoring your marriage. Why does 474 00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:15,960 Speaker 1: he care so much about going out and getting drunk 475 00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:20,080 Speaker 1: with these dip poops. Shouldn't he be moving past that mentality? 476 00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:22,679 Speaker 1: I suggest marriage counseling. He needs to figure out what 477 00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:25,439 Speaker 1: drove him to live this lie for three years, and 478 00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:27,840 Speaker 1: I'm curious how often did he come home as drunk 479 00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:29,800 Speaker 1: as he did? To be fair, I have friends that 480 00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:33,639 Speaker 1: work in finance, and like the party culture and staying 481 00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:35,560 Speaker 1: out is like pretty intense. 482 00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:37,720 Speaker 2: Why just because finance is boring? 483 00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:41,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I guess, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. It's 484 00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:43,399 Speaker 1: just like you don't have a life inside work, so 485 00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:45,280 Speaker 1: you have to like make up for it outside of work. 486 00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:49,800 Speaker 1: And they're working until like like one two am every day. Dude, 487 00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:51,160 Speaker 1: buddy nine to two am. 488 00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:52,000 Speaker 2: Oh my god, our. 489 00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:54,679 Speaker 4: Buddy that's in finance. Kid, he he's like had to 490 00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:56,560 Speaker 4: cancel me a few times because like he has, like 491 00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:58,720 Speaker 4: something pops up and he has to go do it. 492 00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:02,000 Speaker 1: And dude, and kids not even in like the most 493 00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:07,359 Speaker 1: like intense finance category that you could do, like like 494 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:10,040 Speaker 1: and he still has to work insane hours. 495 00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:11,200 Speaker 4: It's crazy. 496 00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:13,879 Speaker 1: Yeah, there's like a very little balance. So I'm curious 497 00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:15,520 Speaker 1: how often has he come drunk as he did? I 498 00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:17,960 Speaker 1: hope he responds he would often go after work drinks 499 00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:20,600 Speaker 1: on Fridays. That's pretty standard where we live, so do I. 500 00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:22,640 Speaker 1: But I should say that he doesn't regularly go out 501 00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:24,560 Speaker 1: that late or get drunk. Last Friday, it was a 502 00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:26,919 Speaker 1: special occasion because it was his friend's birthday. But the 503 00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:29,040 Speaker 1: friend wasn't one of his work friends. I knew the 504 00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:31,800 Speaker 1: guys he was out with. I know the guys that 505 00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:34,520 Speaker 1: you're gonna go out with. And it's not every weekday 506 00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:37,560 Speaker 1: at three pm PSDs. Join our live stream whenever you can. 507 00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:41,119 Speaker 1: But with that story, and so I have a question 508 00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:44,080 Speaker 1: for everyone still watching, would you or would you not? 509 00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:46,720 Speaker 1: And the relationship over this let. 510 00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:48,880 Speaker 2: Us know the comments, Yeah, what are you doing? 511 00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:52,000 Speaker 1: What you're doing? Let us know that's where it ends. 512 00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:55,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. I just don't understand that that culture. 513 00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:59,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I would not do that, but I 514 00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:03,719 Speaker 1: have friends that are in that culture. And it's just 515 00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:07,920 Speaker 1: like imagine, I mean imagine like if everyone imagine if 516 00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:12,840 Speaker 1: all everyone except you, like like me, John Riley, Keon Dakota, 517 00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:14,880 Speaker 1: We're all going out for drinks, and. 518 00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:16,359 Speaker 2: I feel like you've done that before. 519 00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:19,679 Speaker 1: We have not, not that specifically, we have not. No, 520 00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:20,520 Speaker 1: we haven't done that. 521 00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:23,560 Speaker 2: Well, like I don't know, I feel like you've gone 522 00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:25,280 Speaker 2: out for drinks and you've been like, hey, you want 523 00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:25,800 Speaker 2: to go to drinks. 524 00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:29,639 Speaker 1: I'm like, nah, well yeah, but imagine that we just 525 00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:30,880 Speaker 1: stopped inviting you, Like. 526 00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:32,919 Speaker 2: You all go out to KBBQ and you don't invite me. 527 00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:36,359 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, because it's not just drinks. It's like KBBQ 528 00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:40,000 Speaker 1: can and drinks. I don't know. It would be like 529 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:43,080 Speaker 1: like I understand the desire to fit in, but also 530 00:24:43,119 --> 00:24:44,640 Speaker 1: like get a backbone. 531 00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:46,440 Speaker 2: And come on, you don't have to be friends with 532 00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:47,200 Speaker 2: your coworkers. 533 00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:50,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't have to. You don't have to, you 534 00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:50,879 Speaker 1: know not. 535 00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:56,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's it's actually in our in our contract with 536 00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:56,959 Speaker 2: your coworkers. 537 00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:59,560 Speaker 1: Breathe me. The horizon says the length of the lies 538 00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:02,879 Speaker 1: the red flag. Yeah, lying for that long years. Like 539 00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:05,679 Speaker 1: I could understand maybe like like being caught up in 540 00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:07,600 Speaker 1: the moment like oh, it's my sister and then be like, oh, 541 00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:09,720 Speaker 1: I'm such an idiot. I should say my sister is 542 00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:13,200 Speaker 1: my sister, But like staying for that long is ridiculous. 543 00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:17,120 Speaker 1: That's where it ends. But if you love us, make 544 00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:17,920 Speaker 1: sure to subscribe. 545 00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:20,240 Speaker 2: We love you and see you tomorrow. 546 00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:24,000 Speaker 1: This is an episode from Deep within the Archives. Time 547 00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:28,359 Speaker 1: for okop ree lam am I the a Hole for 548 00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:32,800 Speaker 1: destroying my friend's wedding by exposing her cheating fiance. 549 00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:35,800 Speaker 2: This just makes me sad already. 550 00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:39,720 Speaker 1: Why are you? Do you have a cheating fiance that 551 00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:43,960 Speaker 1: I should know about? Or am I the mistress? 552 00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:46,440 Speaker 3: Yeah? 553 00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:49,320 Speaker 1: Forget about your husband. Come away with me, don. 554 00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:54,600 Speaker 2: People, I don't think that's actually how we make out. 555 00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:57,840 Speaker 1: Also, this is my girlfriend Rihanna. She's summing in for 556 00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:00,000 Speaker 1: John this week. Please be nice to her and don't 557 00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:01,440 Speaker 1: tell her anything I've said about her. 558 00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:04,560 Speaker 3: Tell me please in the comments below the best and 559 00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:06,040 Speaker 3: the worst things he said about me. 560 00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:10,160 Speaker 1: Don't do it. Don't tell her it okop Color of Silence. 561 00:26:10,359 --> 00:26:13,840 Speaker 1: And actually this comes from a listener. This is from 562 00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:16,440 Speaker 1: our subreddit, our slash Okop show. And this comes from 563 00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:19,560 Speaker 1: user the one that Never Died Cool use her name op. 564 00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:21,240 Speaker 1: All right, you're ready to get into it? 565 00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:22,880 Speaker 2: Ready as ever? 566 00:26:23,119 --> 00:26:25,840 Speaker 1: All Right? I, twenty nine female, have been best friends 567 00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:28,800 Speaker 1: with my friend twenty six female for eight years. I 568 00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:31,760 Speaker 1: knew her years before she started dating her fiance twenty 569 00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:34,359 Speaker 1: six male. She was always the girl that wanted to 570 00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:37,120 Speaker 1: be in a relationship and couldn't be happy by yourself. 571 00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:40,359 Speaker 1: Kind of lame, Yeah, I know, super lame. It would 572 00:26:40,359 --> 00:26:43,600 Speaker 1: be so lame if you were in so many relationships 573 00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:44,480 Speaker 1: since you were sixteen. 574 00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:47,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, like keep back to back, back to back 575 00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:50,240 Speaker 3: to back, your real monogamous monogamous. 576 00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:53,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, this type of person that's not me, not Sam. 577 00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:56,040 Speaker 1: Totally get it, and never judge her for it except 578 00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:57,680 Speaker 1: your kind of our because you're you're flaming her in 579 00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:00,960 Speaker 1: this retopost. She met her fiance and she seemed happy, 580 00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:04,600 Speaker 1: and I was happy for her until she started crying 581 00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:09,439 Speaker 1: to me about how she caught him. Until she started 582 00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:12,280 Speaker 1: crying to me about how she caught him on dating 583 00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:13,960 Speaker 1: apps such as grindingder. 584 00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:19,679 Speaker 3: This is a quick turn in the story. Is it 585 00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:24,359 Speaker 3: cheating if they're cheating with the same same sex. 586 00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:26,600 Speaker 1: Yes, it is, Ariana Yus, it is. You don't have 587 00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:29,000 Speaker 1: a hall to ask for the ladies, all right. 588 00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:33,240 Speaker 3: Unless you'd of course right, Well, we can talk about that. 589 00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:37,920 Speaker 1: I was supportive and loving and was there for her, 590 00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:41,000 Speaker 1: reminding her that she could do better. But whatever she 591 00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:44,520 Speaker 1: decided to do. I'd support her. She took him back 592 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:47,280 Speaker 1: and I accepted it. What are you doing? Come on? 593 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:50,960 Speaker 1: This type of behavior has gone on for the majority 594 00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:54,159 Speaker 1: of their relationship. Either one or the other has stepped 595 00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:56,680 Speaker 1: out on the other. Not only was there cheating from 596 00:27:56,720 --> 00:27:59,600 Speaker 1: both sides, but abuse as well. They will engage in 597 00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:03,160 Speaker 1: domess violence with each other while having arguments. These arguments 598 00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:06,960 Speaker 1: were always explosive and would always end up him leaving 599 00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:08,400 Speaker 1: and turning off his phone. 600 00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:11,280 Speaker 3: I feel like at this point Op needs to not 601 00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:13,280 Speaker 3: be a supportive. 602 00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:17,280 Speaker 1: Friend and like from this dude. Well, on Christmas of 603 00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:20,520 Speaker 1: last year, she informed me that he had proposed to her. 604 00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:25,600 Speaker 1: She said yes, What are you doing? She said yes, 605 00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:28,520 Speaker 1: and I was happy for I congratulated her and gave 606 00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:31,960 Speaker 1: her my best wishes. Well, the other day, I was 607 00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,919 Speaker 1: watching a YouTube video and it mentioned the Facebook group 608 00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:37,960 Speaker 1: are we dating the same guy? I met my partner 609 00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:40,200 Speaker 1: thirty one mail on Tinder, so I was curious and 610 00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:43,080 Speaker 1: decided to look through it. While scanning, I came across 611 00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:46,600 Speaker 1: a photo of someone I knew it was my best 612 00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:47,360 Speaker 1: friend's Beyonce. 613 00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:50,160 Speaker 2: Let's go big surprise. 614 00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:53,920 Speaker 1: Big surprise, And it was a fairly recent post a 615 00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:57,440 Speaker 1: few weeks ago, So, without sharing any information or anything 616 00:28:57,440 --> 00:29:00,560 Speaker 1: about the post per group rules, I texted my friend 617 00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:02,880 Speaker 1: that she may like to join the group to see 618 00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:05,360 Speaker 1: what's inside. Guys, let me know in the comments what 619 00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:08,360 Speaker 1: you would do in this situation. She declined, but I persisted, 620 00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:11,080 Speaker 1: saying she might want to check it out because her 621 00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:13,920 Speaker 1: boyfriend might be on there at this point. 622 00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:16,960 Speaker 3: Just something, Just fucking say it. Now, you just sound yeah, 623 00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:21,160 Speaker 3: Now it sounds like op is like suggesting that it's 624 00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:22,240 Speaker 3: a shitty relationship. 625 00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:23,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, without having proof of it. 626 00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:26,840 Speaker 1: She said no again, so I finally straight out went 627 00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:29,440 Speaker 1: and said it that she needed to look there for herself. 628 00:29:29,920 --> 00:29:31,960 Speaker 1: Once again, she refused, so I reached out to the 629 00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:34,720 Speaker 1: woman that posted my friend's fiance and told her that 630 00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:37,080 Speaker 1: he was in a serious relationship. Well, the woman decided 631 00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:41,080 Speaker 1: to confront him and went to his location. They shared 632 00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:43,400 Speaker 1: locations in Snapchat and then cheating. 633 00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:45,240 Speaker 2: Why are you sharing locations? 634 00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:49,600 Speaker 1: I know, dude and burn phones. Go buy a good carrier. 635 00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:53,120 Speaker 1: Pitson the girl on Facebook that was dating the fiance 636 00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:56,120 Speaker 1: that was the side piece, found my friend in him 637 00:29:56,120 --> 00:29:59,640 Speaker 1: together crazy. A fight broke out, and later on my 638 00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:02,520 Speaker 1: friend calls me to give me the details. She's crying 639 00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:04,960 Speaker 1: and calling him an a hole, and I'm trying to 640 00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:06,920 Speaker 1: support her and be a good friend. But then she 641 00:30:07,040 --> 00:30:09,320 Speaker 1: turns it on me, calling me an a hole because 642 00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:11,560 Speaker 1: I didn't send photo proof or try harder to get 643 00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:13,800 Speaker 1: her on the group. She called me an a hole 644 00:30:13,840 --> 00:30:17,160 Speaker 1: for not protecting her and whatnot. She has since called 645 00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:22,360 Speaker 1: off the engagement again and blames me for it. 646 00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:25,320 Speaker 3: Isn't she happy the engagement got called off? 647 00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:28,440 Speaker 1: I mean, is anyone happy that their fiance cheats on 648 00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:30,000 Speaker 1: them and then their engagement is called off? 649 00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:32,960 Speaker 3: No, but at least the sense of relief at least 650 00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:35,200 Speaker 3: complete cheating. 651 00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:38,280 Speaker 1: And also, I mean, all right, guys, I want to 652 00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:40,480 Speaker 1: know what you think, Like please put in the comments 653 00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:44,120 Speaker 1: what the fuck is going on here? But like to 654 00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:48,120 Speaker 1: get mad at op for literally helping her out. 655 00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:50,880 Speaker 3: Wouldn't have she would have never found out how she 656 00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:52,920 Speaker 3: don't a girl to save her. 657 00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:55,480 Speaker 1: She would have never found out. They would have had kids, 658 00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:57,479 Speaker 1: you know, they would have gone, they would have had 659 00:30:57,520 --> 00:30:59,680 Speaker 1: little babies. They would have gone on like a cruise 660 00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:02,760 Speaker 1: together there and then on the cruise, right, they're walking 661 00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:06,000 Speaker 1: by the pool and who do they see around the 662 00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:10,440 Speaker 1: corner with the ex fiance, he's happy, he's with his 663 00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:14,000 Speaker 1: two kids. He realized he made a huge mistake and 664 00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:16,040 Speaker 1: he's going to be better for it. And so he's 665 00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:19,720 Speaker 1: been a loving husband to this new girl, and you know, 666 00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:22,360 Speaker 1: every every happy ever after everyone. 667 00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:24,320 Speaker 2: Wins it was beautiful. Might shut a tear. 668 00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:27,800 Speaker 1: I'm I'm, I'm literally crying right now. If you need 669 00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:33,400 Speaker 1: a tissue from that tiered jerker of the story, assue 670 00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:36,880 Speaker 1: in the coffee and we'll see you next time. The 671 00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:39,960 Speaker 1: Beautiful Ariana is my co host while John's out this week. 672 00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:41,120 Speaker 1: See you next week.