Speaker 1: Soundby listen.
Speaker 2: There are only two guarantees in life. You will pay
Speaker 2: taxes and you will die. Anything else that's not serving you,
Speaker 2: you got to learn to let it go.
Speaker 1: Period.
Speaker 3: I like that, But what happens when you can't let go?
Speaker 1: Like me with you?
Speaker 3: Period? Baby.
Speaker 2: It all started with real talk, unfiltered, honest and straight
Speaker 2: from the heart. Since then, we've gone on to become
Speaker 2: Webby award winning podcasters in New York Times bestselling authors.
Speaker 4: Dead Ass was more than a podcast for us. It
Speaker 4: was about our growth, a place where we could be vulnerable.
Speaker 1: Be raw, or but most apportantly be us.
Speaker 4: But as we know, life keeps evolving and so do we,
Speaker 4: and through it all, one thing has never changed.
Speaker 2: This is.
Speaker 3: Because we got a lot to talk about.
Speaker 1: So every time I'm gona talk to y'all.
Speaker 2: By the time when I really had to let go,
Speaker 2: hey remembers I came home and our whole world change.
Speaker 1: It was two thousand and nineteen.
Speaker 3: Wit a couple of moments like that, we we did,
Speaker 3: but it.
Speaker 2: Was twenty nineteen. It was January, brand new year coming in.
Speaker 2: We had a lot of success with social media in
Speaker 2: twenty eighteen, but I was feeling stagnant, right. And I
Speaker 2: was in the gym with my year. My year was
Speaker 2: the girls, the Ladies track coach when I had prototypes.
Speaker 2: She was working with the ladies doing prototype and stuff,
Speaker 2: and I was sitting there in the room and she
Speaker 2: just came over with me. She put her hand on
Speaker 2: my back and she was like you all right, bro?
Speaker 2: And I was like, nah, not really. She's like, what's
Speaker 2: the matter. And I was just like, I kind of
Speaker 2: feel like I'm stuck and I want to move forward
Speaker 2: so that I can better myself and my family.
Speaker 1: And what we have doing.
Speaker 2: And I feel like I can't do that because while
Speaker 2: I'm here in Brooklyn, I can't leave Brooklyn. I have
Speaker 2: too many things going on. She's like like what I said, Well,
Speaker 2: I have the nonprofit at PS two seventy two. We
Speaker 2: own the gym here, we own the basketball court. My
Speaker 2: wife does make up and stuff like that. And she
Speaker 2: looked at me and she was like the val sometimes
Speaker 2: you got to learn to let go.
Speaker 1: And I was like, what you mean.
Speaker 2: She was just like, all those things that's holding you
Speaker 2: back is literally holding you back. Like the only way
Speaker 2: you can go to do what it is that you
Speaker 2: really want to do is if you let go of
Speaker 2: everything that's safe here? And I was like, what you mean?
Speaker 2: She was just like doing the gym stuff here is
Speaker 2: safe being here and using your brother as a crutch
Speaker 2: and your family and your friends.
Speaker 1: Why I can't leave?
Speaker 2: Because how are all of these people going to function
Speaker 2: if I leave? She's like, that's all safe, that's all.
Speaker 2: You've giving yourself an excuse to not go and try
Speaker 2: to do what you really want to do. You got
Speaker 2: to let that go because if you let them go,
Speaker 2: they'll be fine, but most importantly, you will be fine.
Speaker 4: I don't know. That was just love her and now
Speaker 4: I love her even the love her even more here
Speaker 4: in that and that's probably what triggered that was January.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we made the decision in April to move to La.
Speaker 2: Made the decision in April, and then I ended up
Speaker 2: booking sisters. Yeah, and we moved to LA and then
Speaker 2: everything happened here.
Speaker 3: We are here. We are the power of let and go.
Speaker 3: I love that, all right.
Speaker 2: Karaoka time karaoke time typically, y'all know, I seen karaoke.
Speaker 4: That's not a mature I feel like it's always been
Speaker 4: kind of like, go ahead, go ahead, lives.
Speaker 3: It's been a mixture, y'all know, has it been fifty
Speaker 3: to fifty?
Speaker 5: It's pretty fifty to fifty it is.
Speaker 2: So now you know what we're gonna do. You know
Speaker 2: we're gonna do. We're gonna go back in time. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and we're going to see all the time that you said, Babe,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna let you do karaoke because that's your thing.
Speaker 1: I can't carry a note.
Speaker 4: I mean I can carry a note. But so far,
Speaker 4: how many episodes we got that doesn't stop?
Speaker 2: So we have fifteen in the season. Yes, I'm pretty
Speaker 2: sure of the fifteen episodes. I do ten of the karaokes.
Speaker 3: That's debatable. We'll see.
Speaker 1: Well, you can go back and listen.
Speaker 3: I love me and karaoke.
Speaker 4: And does account if we do joint ones because sometimes
Speaker 4: there's like a man and a woman, there's like you.
Speaker 3: Know what I mean, it depends.
Speaker 2: We can count on how many you did by yourself,
Speaker 2: how many I did boself in trouble.
Speaker 1: You're gonna tell us later. So the next episode we're
Speaker 1: gonna have.
Speaker 3: I love it. I love it well.
Speaker 4: I was just thinking about songs, but let it go.
Speaker 4: We did Elsa already. Yes, we're Frozen. Yes, so you
Speaker 4: had a good one. But I like this one from
Speaker 4: Mariah carry.
Speaker 3: Even though I try, I can't let go.
Speaker 6: Something in your eyes captured my soul, and every night
Speaker 6: I see you in my dream, You're all I want.
Speaker 1: I can good.
Speaker 2: You actually do caraokee better than me? Because that was
Speaker 2: actually really good. I felt very eighty eightish?
Speaker 1: Did you? I think that song came out in eighty eight?
Speaker 3: What was it that long ago? I don't know.
Speaker 4: I grew up on Mariah my aunt Susie. I mean
Speaker 4: when that Vision of Love album came out, it was
Speaker 4: a rat. We had it on repeat about twelve.
Speaker 1: That's your question. Yeah, Mariah Carey or Whitney Houston.
Speaker 3: That's a good one.
Speaker 1: Well that's the group when we come back.
Speaker 3: Okay, like that one. I like that one. Stick around.
Speaker 3: We'll be back. Okay, all right, we're back.
Speaker 2: Well before we get to no, I have a question
Speaker 2: for the group. If you had to choose who was
Speaker 2: a bigger artist or who was your favorite? Would y'all
Speaker 2: go with Mariah Carey or Whitney Houston.
Speaker 7: Whitney Houston, Whitney Houston, Josh Witty Hoddy?
Speaker 2: I know, people, I bet you don't know where that's from.
Speaker 2: I know, I don't know.
Speaker 5: You know, Martin, Yeah, everybody want hunting. I can't really choose.
Speaker 5: I love Whitney Houston down. I miss her so much.
Speaker 5: They took her, they did, and we need to do
Speaker 5: an investigation into why. But I'm also a huge Mariah
Speaker 5: Carrey fan. Every album, every piece. I love Glitter, Glitter,
Speaker 5: Top five movies.
Speaker 2: We got to look this up. Trouble who have more
Speaker 2: number one hits? Her highest peak, who had the longest career?
Speaker 5: Mariah has like the record for most number ones?
Speaker 1: I think she does.
Speaker 8: Yeah, she has like the most successful crazy.
Speaker 3: She's as far as.
Speaker 8: I think Whitney. Whitney speaks to my soul.
Speaker 7: Riot sounds beautiful, right, she like, you can't.
Speaker 3: Do that right?
Speaker 7: But when he had you dancing in in CBS, they
Speaker 7: played her and Dwayne Reed.
Speaker 2: Do you think do you think Whitney had I mean
Speaker 2: Mariah had more success because she could have that crossover
Speaker 2: white audience, so that she had more success that way.
Speaker 1: But Whitney Moore speaks to our soul.
Speaker 2: She came from the church, like you think, That's why
Speaker 2: to us she relates more yes and no.
Speaker 9: Because I feel like Mariah came after her, so it helped,
Speaker 9: like we already were Whenny already said the baseline.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, some of it.
Speaker 4: I think some of Mariah's crossover songs I didn't love
Speaker 4: as much as like her first album or like those
Speaker 4: first couple of albums. I think I liked older Mariah
Speaker 4: versus Mariah that became a little bit more mainstream.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's fair. That fair.
Speaker 3: Witney from me.
Speaker 9: Looked at Mariah has nineteen hits and Whitney has eleven,
Speaker 9: number one most of any solo artist history.
Speaker 2: Yeah, if I had to choose, it would probably be Whitney,
Speaker 2: mainly because my mother loves Whitney Houston.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I just think is a nostalgia around.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's something about that felt more relatable to me.
Speaker 1: You know church point the church one right.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: You hear her saying, oh, yeah, you know a service facts.
Speaker 5: I don't know, all right, So I keep hearing about
Speaker 5: Stephen A. Smith getting this one hundred million dollar deal
Speaker 5: with ESPN, five year contract, twenty million dollars a year
Speaker 5: oper No opp I know he's kind of a controversial personality.
Speaker 5: So I'm wondering, do you think it's worth it? One
Speaker 5: hundred million dollars.
Speaker 2: I think I do have an opinion about this. I
Speaker 2: think you are worth whatever money you generate. And if
Speaker 2: I'm being one hundred percent honest, people only watch ESPN because.
Speaker 1: Of Stephen A. Smith.
Speaker 2: So get that man whatever money he deserved, because you know,
Speaker 2: if they can give him a hundred million, they making billions.
Speaker 1: So I hope Stephen they get paid. That's my opinion, Baby.
Speaker 3: I love it.
Speaker 4: I typically don't have an op if it's not within
Speaker 4: my task bracket.
Speaker 3: So but I will be yes, you will. We talk
Speaker 3: about it here first. Yeah, I don't.
Speaker 4: I don't watch ESPN enough, but I do respect what
Speaker 4: he does Stephen Smith.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and his his candor and his personality. Good for him, Bro,
Speaker 3: do you think.
Speaker 9: I think it's great because he's good for the bottom line?
Speaker 9: So that man, mm hmm.
Speaker 1: I can't.
Speaker 8: I can't put a valuation on Stephen. I don't don't
Speaker 8: know what.
Speaker 7: I don't know what a hundred million dollars is, like,
Speaker 7: I don't I don't know what that is. I could
Speaker 7: be like he's fifty million. I don't know what to
Speaker 7: see what you're saying.
Speaker 2: But I mean, but let me ask though, if they're
Speaker 2: willing to pay him a hundred million, it has to
Speaker 2: know that they must be making more.
Speaker 7: Oh yeah, definitely making money. Yeah, of course it's him
Speaker 7: on that network for the company. He's definitely making more
Speaker 7: than that. But I'm not hating on it, Like I
Speaker 7: I love that he got it. But you know, I
Speaker 7: can't say that I like him. That's the thing. I
Speaker 7: think that's that's an issue with me. I can't see
Speaker 7: it if I like him or not.
Speaker 2: Oh so you're thinking of do I like him enough
Speaker 2: to think that he's worth one hundred million?
Speaker 8: Correct?
Speaker 1: Copy. He's not your choice for content.
Speaker 7: He's cool, has some valid takes, but overall he's like
Speaker 7: hit him.
Speaker 8: Miss for me.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's fair. Now, that's fair.
Speaker 9: If you don't like a person to stick, you can
Speaker 9: still feel like they're worth the money or not.
Speaker 2: What he's saying is he don't think that he's He
Speaker 2: don't think that he's valuable enough.
Speaker 1: Like what he's saying out.
Speaker 9: Here that that's the real reason.
Speaker 2: Because Josh is a Knicks everybody, Josh is a diehard
Speaker 2: Knicks fan, and Steven they do be having some wild
Speaker 2: tak on the Knicks. After trying to act like he's
Speaker 2: a Knicks fan. The minute they don't do something good,
Speaker 2: then he just throws him under the bus. I do
Speaker 2: feel you on that very disloyal, but I stand his
Speaker 2: value to ESPN. I only turn on ESPN when that's
Speaker 2: one I do. That's just I could care about.
Speaker 1: The That's true.
Speaker 7: I do watch the show, you know, but it's not
Speaker 7: really for him. It's for the I like sports, so
Speaker 7: you know that's what it is.
Speaker 1: What you think.
Speaker 5: I'm not even a real sports fan, but I know
Speaker 5: who Steven A. Smith is and I know what his
Speaker 5: personality is like, so I feel like that's worth at
Speaker 5: least one hundred million dollars.
Speaker 1: Talk about it, trouble get paid, bro.
Speaker 3: Yeah, do you think brother man, open the door.
Speaker 1: Because we're coming period. We're coming period next, I guess.
Speaker 5: Since we're talking about money counting people's pockets, y'all know
Speaker 5: about Tianna Taylor and Emon Shumpert's divorce. A lot of
Speaker 5: information is going around about what they got in divorce
Speaker 5: and how the proceedings win in Tianna Taylor is clapping
Speaker 5: back now. She wants Emon Shumpert to be punished for
Speaker 5: leaking settlement information to the public. She said that he
Speaker 5: did it when she had something coming out, maybe music.
Speaker 5: He had music coming out. So he's trying to push
Speaker 5: his music by leaking what was in the divorce settlement,
Speaker 5: and he lies about what she got and what she
Speaker 5: owned apparently according to her, So she's missed. She's like,
Speaker 5: he's causing me to lose. Oh, she had a Jordan
Speaker 5: collaboration coming out with Nike when he leaked the information,
Speaker 5: and so this information kind of overshadowed the news of
Speaker 5: her Nike launch while he's trying to push his music.
Speaker 1: Op or no op.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go back to what Matt said about this.
Speaker 2: I stay out to marry people's business. But them two
Speaker 2: been married for so long the details of that probably
Speaker 2: go so far beyond that court document that I got
Speaker 2: no hop on it.
Speaker 1: I hope the best for both of them moving forward.
Speaker 1: I got no op on it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, no op for me either. I just it's too
Speaker 4: much back and forth and confusion. It's like some of
Speaker 4: this that's may be alleged, do we even know. It's
Speaker 4: like listening to two sides of a story and then
Speaker 4: there's a third, you know.
Speaker 1: So I'm agreement with you on that.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna sit this one out, y'all.
Speaker 9: You already know.
Speaker 8: No, I don't care, y'all.
Speaker 5: I guess if I saw my bitch would move fast up.
Speaker 8: That's what it was.
Speaker 1: Yes, he saw a man.
Speaker 3: Mom was like with.
Speaker 1: The Hazel lies for you.
Speaker 3: The documents, I forgot about that. I don't think the
Speaker 3: street is some move faster move.
Speaker 1: I don't have no op on them. I do have
Speaker 1: an on that take on it.
Speaker 2: I don't think Iman was thinking that because I mean,
Speaker 2: if we're being real, right, Aaron Pierre is big and
Speaker 2: tall to a lot of other people. But if you
Speaker 2: saw him next to Emon Shepherd, Emon, she's a fucking giant,
Speaker 2: is huge, and he's worth over like one hundred something
Speaker 2: million dollars, I doubt that he's like jealous. You never know,
Speaker 2: some some men be jealous for other reasons, you know
Speaker 2: what I'm saying. But I just don't I don't see
Speaker 2: that being a recent not Aaron Pierre being the reason
Speaker 2: why he leaked the documents. What she said about his
Speaker 2: music coming out, that's fucking genius. I mean, Kanye West
Speaker 2: does everything like that, right, Oh, I got music coming out,
Speaker 2: I got a sneaker coming out.
Speaker 1: Let me just say something.
Speaker 4: Does that really help though, Does it like help when
Speaker 4: you think.
Speaker 7: It starts the wheels turning toward the direction towards you. Yes,
Speaker 7: like that's getting you. Now I'm doing something I'm in.
Speaker 7: I'm spinning way longer than I should be because I
Speaker 7: said something outlandish.
Speaker 4: So it's not enough to just release whatever it is.
Speaker 4: You got to put some kind of controversy around it.
Speaker 2: Well, you don't got to put controversy, but it's just
Speaker 2: it's clickbait, right Like, if you like it's trending, if
Speaker 2: you go to X right now and you see what's trending,
Speaker 2: it's going to be up there.
Speaker 1: So then you go, why is this trending?
Speaker 2: You research this person and you realize, Oh, they have
Speaker 2: a sneaker collection coming out. Oh they have a thing
Speaker 2: coming out. What's that about? That's really what it is.
Speaker 2: I think I forgot. Who's the first person to say
Speaker 2: there's no press is bad press? And that's what it's about.
Speaker 2: If they're talking about you, then that means all of
Speaker 2: the attention is going there and then so that's what
Speaker 2: I could see. I listened when Tripple said that.
Speaker 1: That caught me up. I didn't even know he had
Speaker 1: music coming out.
Speaker 5: No I didn't either. I thought he only wrapped that
Speaker 5: one time on Taylor's song.
Speaker 8: Music video come out this week or last week?
Speaker 1: It did come out. He did have music, it was
Speaker 1: a video come out.
Speaker 3: Much.
Speaker 7: I know.
Speaker 1: You think of winning a fight Iman or No, we're
Speaker 1: joking ya, We're not doing that realistically. Who you think
Speaker 1: your money would be on realistically?
Speaker 9: In Chicago.
Speaker 2: I'm about to say, this is he from Chicago. Yes,
Speaker 2: he's an Chicago like like like an athlete, and he's
Speaker 2: been up against some of the most physically imposing people
Speaker 2: in NBA history.
Speaker 1: Like I'm not taking anybody over Emon.
Speaker 8: He would have no problems against.
Speaker 3: Ll fucked up at Elis ever after. We do not
Speaker 3: condone any violence of any We don't.
Speaker 1: We don't condone no violence.
Speaker 2: But I'm playing I'm always very team light skin, right,
Speaker 2: and then here's light skin pays a lot.
Speaker 1: The nigga would get sucked up.
Speaker 3: A bracket by himself. When you like skinning, you got
Speaker 3: hatel eyes like you.
Speaker 1: Here's Steph Curry. It's not there's only a few guys
Speaker 1: like that, you know what I'm saying. So, but Ima
Speaker 1: Shephard is what six seven like he's he's six he's yeah, six.
Speaker 7: Seven, yell forward, shooting guard shot.
Speaker 1: I think he's more for shooting. I think he's he's
Speaker 1: bigger than six six.
Speaker 8: Though.
Speaker 5: It's so funny to me how men know like the
Speaker 5: body stats of other men, like he's six seven, Like yeah,
Speaker 5: what if I was like what Beyonce got like a
Speaker 5: sea cup?
Speaker 1: Like what'll.
Speaker 8: Describing body parts?
Speaker 7: We're talking about people that we've watched play basketball against
Speaker 7: other tall people, so you don't watch.
Speaker 1: Know.
Speaker 2: The reason the reason why we would know something like
Speaker 2: that is because it's like, wait a minute, Imman, Trump
Speaker 2: got to guard Kobe. You know, Kobe sixty six, So
Speaker 2: now did you find out he six five is like damn,
Speaker 2: he was going Kobe in short, that's a big that's
Speaker 2: a tall task.
Speaker 3: So it's in relation to who they who.
Speaker 1: Relations to the position.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so we know that's why he says your shooting guards,
Speaker 2: your forward. That's why we know the heights, Like I
Speaker 2: don't be watching men walk by and be like he
Speaker 2: look about six either take him? You know what, now,
Speaker 2: we don't do that. If your athlete, we know y'all
Speaker 2: do that. Though, look at her, that's a B B L.
Speaker 1: With that t R B B L t R B
Speaker 1: b L.
Speaker 5: I'm about to change name Josh because that was Josh
Speaker 5: t R I B b L E.
Speaker 1: That's hilarious. So now we know trip we got a
Speaker 1: B b.
Speaker 5: L there in the name.
Speaker 3: Listen, I'm starting rumors, look at you.
Speaker 5: So next, what I'm my favorite people personality celebrities is
Speaker 5: Jennifer Lewis. Jennifer Lewis my.
Speaker 1: Aunt in my head.
Speaker 5: I think everybody's she's like my bestie. Like, if she's listening, Jennifer,
Speaker 5: I love you so much. But she had there's a
Speaker 5: viral clip of her that's been going around for like
Speaker 5: at least the last year, where she's on a radio
Speaker 5: show talking about someone she dated and when she knew
Speaker 5: it was time to kick him to the curb.
Speaker 1: Have y'all seen it?
Speaker 3: I don't think so.
Speaker 1: You want to watch the video?
Speaker 10: Yeah, here's the example of why I have to get
Speaker 10: rid of him. We're driving on a car, driving on
Speaker 10: Big Call, Life is great, and I come up on
Speaker 10: an Australian tree that I know is extinct.
Speaker 8: So we're driving and I go.
Speaker 3: Oh, that's a pretty tree.
Speaker 10: Him, you say that about every tree, And I was like, well, nigga,
Speaker 10: you gotta go.
Speaker 9: I'm Jonnifer.
Speaker 1: I thought you was going to do it.
Speaker 2: I thought you too, though, because you do Jennifer Lewis,
Speaker 2: I thought she was going to do It's what happens,
Speaker 2: a trible triple holding up?
Speaker 1: Do you have an opinion on that? You have an
Speaker 1: opinion on that?
Speaker 3: I just love that she's happy. I love that she's
Speaker 3: living life and she don't.
Speaker 4: Let She is the classic epitome of unfunck withable and
Speaker 4: I love that for her.
Speaker 3: That is my opinion. I love that for her.
Speaker 1: I agree with her. I have an opinion. I disagree
Speaker 1: with her.
Speaker 2: Just the other day, kids just hanging on the fridge upstairs,
Speaker 2: your mother come in there, you bust your chin?
Speaker 1: What the fuck? We got to be so negative? You
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying?
Speaker 2: Like the kids playing Why the first thing that go
Speaker 2: to somebody mind is like you bust a chin? We outside,
Speaker 2: kids playing basketball? Called then it's so fast you fall down?
Speaker 2: Why does everything have to be so negative?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: Can you imagine living with a person that everything you
Speaker 2: do or say, they find a way to make it negative.
Speaker 3: That's so heavy?
Speaker 1: Could you? Ama?
Speaker 2: I just that's a tree. You said about every tree?
Speaker 2: I said that about you till you said that ship,
Speaker 2: you know, Like that's how I felt like she wanted
Speaker 2: to say.
Speaker 1: And I get that.
Speaker 2: Don't take away my joy and happiness for loving stuff.
Speaker 2: Don't always feel like you got to point out something
Speaker 2: that I know what I'll be doing.
Speaker 1: I feel man, let that nigga go.
Speaker 2: I'da let him go to right there, right out the door,
Speaker 2: because I know that was her car. I'm pretty sure
Speaker 2: that was her car.
Speaker 4: She said, she got the car, she got the house,
Speaker 4: she got all the things, and she probably said pull over.
Speaker 1: And he said, why go stand by that tree.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna show you why I love it.
Speaker 1: Jennifer Lewis out.
Speaker 3: I love it.
Speaker 1: I love it. Let negative niggas go, Matt, she.
Speaker 9: Knows what she needs for her life. I'm all for it.
Speaker 8: Wow, I agree. I ain't got nothing to add on that.
Speaker 5: I think, knowing part of her story, sometimes we do
Speaker 5: the negative ship ourselves, you know what I'm saying. And
Speaker 5: like she said, like when you've spent most of your
Speaker 5: life in your own like darkness, when you get out
Speaker 5: of that, if somebody tries to pull you back in,
Speaker 5: it feels like a personal attack.
Speaker 3: She dealt with depression right yeah, right, right.
Speaker 5: Yeah, So you can't even you can't even let anybody
Speaker 5: convince you that it's okay for you to be in
Speaker 5: that darkness anymore. How that feels like it's that can
Speaker 5: feel urgent to you with somebody.
Speaker 3: Just yeah, you know.
Speaker 4: I mean, there's a power and strength in that in itself.
Speaker 4: Not allowing somebody to pull you back into that space.
Speaker 3: That's crazy, well.
Speaker 2: I mean, and that that goes into what we're talking
Speaker 2: about today, right, like learning when to let go because
Speaker 2: something don't serve you no more. Right in that moment,
Speaker 2: Jennifer was like, I got the house, I got the car,
Speaker 2: I got the perfect man. I got this and it
Speaker 2: looks perfect to everyone else, including to you, but it
Speaker 2: don't feel perfect. A lot of times people hold on
Speaker 2: to things because it looks perfect to other people.
Speaker 1: And in that moment, she chose herself.
Speaker 2: So I rock well, And I think that's what a
Speaker 2: lot of us need to do, not just with significant others,
Speaker 2: but with career choices. That's why I told the story.
Speaker 2: I told right, the gym was no longer serving me
Speaker 2: in the way I needed it to. It was safe,
Speaker 2: we were making good money, but I wasn't happy. But
Speaker 2: to everybody else, it looked like the perfect way to
Speaker 2: stay safe, keep my family good, and do everything. But
Speaker 2: I just make me feel happy. So I let it
Speaker 2: go and moved on, and it greater came because of that.
Speaker 8: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I think a lot of times too, we just develop
Speaker 4: a level of comfort in that zone that we're in
Speaker 4: because it's familiar, it's safe, it's secure, whether it's that
Speaker 4: job that you know bi weekly that direct deposit's going
Speaker 4: to hit, you know, knowing that you got the guaranteed clientele,
Speaker 4: you have the family support nearby, you just kind of
Speaker 4: succumb to a comfort that you don't want to disrupt.
Speaker 3: So even us moving to LA was a huge deal
Speaker 3: for us.
Speaker 4: We moved with my mom just to at least some
Speaker 4: have a portion of our you know, support system with us.
Speaker 4: But it's just amazing how taking a little bit of
Speaker 4: sacrifice just allowed everything to just blossom exponentially for us.
Speaker 1: You know what's amazing.
Speaker 2: Think about how often people sit in misery because they're
Speaker 2: just comfortable being miserable. Now, think of us as black people, right,
Speaker 2: we anybody in this generation was actually, I don't want
Speaker 2: to say born into misery, but born into oppression, right,
Speaker 2: So We're used to not having as much, right, especially
Speaker 2: if you're a black woman. Right, It's just like I'm
Speaker 2: a black woman, bottom of a totem pole. Right, Oh,
Speaker 2: I'm a black man. No one really cares. So often
Speaker 2: we get used to dealing with the least that we
Speaker 2: accept it. And I want to start pushing people to
Speaker 2: stop accepting misery because it's comfortable because you know it.
Speaker 2: You know, not because it's comfortable, it's just because I
Speaker 2: know it. Like, Hey, I'm gonna go to this job.
Speaker 2: I hate this job.
Speaker 1: I'm go tore every day. Oh I hate this man,
Speaker 1: this man here, but I know I'm gonna go with
Speaker 1: every single day.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, I'm gonna eat this food
Speaker 2: and I'm gonna take my diabetes medicine even though I
Speaker 2: know it's good for me, just because I know what
Speaker 2: it is. Be uncomfortable, stop eating the disgusting food and
Speaker 2: try to change your lifestyle. Leave the job, do something else,
Speaker 2: leave that God, leave that woman, and find someone that
Speaker 2: helps you, because that's the only way you can actually
Speaker 2: get used to moving out of the comfort zone of misery.
Speaker 3: Right. And you know it's funny, I feel like we're
Speaker 3: at this age now.
Speaker 4: I was just talking to a friend of mine recently
Speaker 4: and just touching based on life, and it was just like, man,
Speaker 4: such and such as you know, separated, such this person,
Speaker 4: this couple we know, get a divorce somebody else, And
Speaker 4: I'm like, are we just at the age where things
Speaker 4: start to fall apart? Or is it that we're at
Speaker 4: the age now where people start to realize or get
Speaker 4: tired of their situations and say, you know what, I'm
Speaker 4: going to have to call this relationship quit so or
Speaker 4: I'm going to that's a good point I have. Yeah,
Speaker 4: am I going to have to like terminate this this
Speaker 4: you know, situation that I felt like was going to
Speaker 4: be forever? But it's not like at what point do
Speaker 4: people finally reach their max in those kind of miserable situations.
Speaker 2: So the good thing is Matt is early thirties, Trible
Speaker 2: is mid thirties, Josh, I hope you don't mind me
Speaker 2: saying that, trouble and Josh is old and he's forty
Speaker 2: like us. Did y'all notice that around thirties mid thirties
Speaker 2: your friends started to change and started to be more
Speaker 2: like Jennifer Lewis and being more like, man, fuck this
Speaker 2: I noticed that when I turned my mid thirties, a
Speaker 2: lot of my friends was like, fuck, I'm not just
Speaker 2: doing that no more, like I'm just not And the
Speaker 2: same thing with their relationships, getting divorced, leaving their jobs,
Speaker 2: you know. And I think it's important that we do
Speaker 2: that because when we sit in misery.
Speaker 1: You know who we teach to sit in misery? Kid? Kids?
Speaker 2: You know how many men sit in miserable relationships because like, man,
Speaker 2: my father told me was gonna be like this man.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, wait, man, wait me. Your father told
Speaker 2: you're gonna be like what you know, being a man.
Speaker 2: We gotta do this, and you gotta do this, and
Speaker 2: just you know, she go and be there.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa.
Speaker 2: You really just honestly believe that your life is meant
Speaker 2: to be miserable because you got married and you married
Speaker 2: that woman.
Speaker 3: And that's what they said.
Speaker 5: And the same.
Speaker 2: Thing I got married, I got deal with this man.
Speaker 2: It's like, y'all really think you're just supposed to be miserable.
Speaker 2: People do because they watched their parents be miserable.
Speaker 3: It's true. I know that I see that with like
Speaker 3: our parents' generation.
Speaker 4: Absolutely, there are so many people from our parents generation
Speaker 4: that are just sitting around existing in misery, misery and
Speaker 4: it's either there making the acceptance or as my father
Speaker 4: would say, somebody put obi on him.
Speaker 1: All of the Legit said. For people who don't know
Speaker 1: what obia is, I know, the West then needs to
Speaker 1: hear know, Yeah, like.
Speaker 3: Voodoo, You're just like, you know what, this is above
Speaker 3: me with obia and he won't put no work to
Speaker 3: change it. But that's the thing.
Speaker 4: And I'm like, what what action plans have you taken?
Speaker 4: What what moves have you made? What steps have you
Speaker 4: made to increase the level of happiness in your life
Speaker 4: that you're responsible for nobody else facts? Or you just
Speaker 4: wanted to succumb to feeling like, you know what, this
Speaker 4: was just put on me to live this life of unhappiness.
Speaker 1: Well, what steps did you do? Because I noticed you
Speaker 1: lately that's how you got into a new career.
Speaker 3: But you know, it's it's a little bit of both.
Speaker 4: Okay, it was, and I'll talk about this more when
Speaker 4: we finally unhatched that episode, But in part it was
Speaker 4: a bit of stillness because I think the state that
Speaker 4: I was in, particularly last year, where I felt like
Speaker 4: we were just hustling to take every gig and to
Speaker 4: be at every event, and to consider every job opportunity
Speaker 4: and to be everywhere and do everything. After a while,
Speaker 4: that got to be very taxing on me, and I
Speaker 4: felt like, not that we were hustling backwards, or me
Speaker 4: particularly with hustling backwards, but I felt like, I need
Speaker 4: to be strategic about the steps that I take moving forward,
Speaker 4: because if it's not going to move the goalposts in
Speaker 4: the direction that I wanted to go professionally or family wise,
Speaker 4: then what exactly am I doing just doing busy work?
Speaker 1: So what point did you get to? Like that were
Speaker 1: used like enough is enough?
Speaker 4: It was October of last year where I felt completely
Speaker 4: burnt out after I came back from Saint Vincent. That
Speaker 4: trip that I took home to my dad's village as well,
Speaker 4: really was impactful for me because it was an emotional
Speaker 4: time for me, because I also got to see, like
Speaker 4: where my dad came from and the very very humble
Speaker 4: beginnings my grandmother, his mom, not knowing how to read
Speaker 4: or write her entire life. And I'm like, man, if
Speaker 4: my dad and my family made it up out of here,
Speaker 4: and these are the opportunities I have now for myself.
Speaker 4: Let me just be still for the rest of the
Speaker 4: year and just really kind of listen to God, listen
Speaker 4: to my heart, see what opportunities will arise if I'm
Speaker 4: just still.
Speaker 2: So okay, So, just to get this straight, at one point,
Speaker 2: you sat in the misery of if I want to
Speaker 2: get to a certain place in my career. The hustle
Speaker 2: and buss was part of it, right, and you were
Speaker 2: sitting in that misery.
Speaker 1: We both were. We got hustled, we got.
Speaker 3: To good misery.
Speaker 1: Yes, I don't know if it.
Speaker 3: Was misery misery.
Speaker 1: I was miserable. You were miserable.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess, burnt out miserable.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Sometimes sometimes we have to learn, and this is a
Speaker 1: good thing for people.
Speaker 2: I learned to accept the words that come out when
Speaker 2: I say it, even if it sounds bad, because that's
Speaker 2: the word that first came to my mind.
Speaker 1: That's what it was.
Speaker 2: Just because it sounds bad when you say it, don't
Speaker 2: try to change it. I remember those moments we were
Speaker 2: getting ready to do a day with k Yeah, we
Speaker 2: were planning a bunch of things at the same time,
Speaker 2: and I remember waking up a couple of times and
Speaker 2: feeling overwhelmed and looking at you and you looked miserable,
Speaker 2: and I was like, yeah, what's the matter. You don't
Speaker 2: seem excited, You're I know, I gotta know do what
Speaker 2: I gotta do. Yeah, And it was after Saint Vincent
Speaker 2: we did have a sense of calm.
Speaker 3: I did. I did, Yeah, because you're right.
Speaker 4: September it was when I was supposed to do a
Speaker 4: day with k And it was also the pressure of
Speaker 4: feeling like, Okay, we're coming off of the momentum of
Speaker 4: the devusher can say toy that we did the Love
Speaker 4: Against the World tour in February, we had done BT
Speaker 4: experience in June July.
Speaker 3: We had an awesome summer with the kids. There were
Speaker 3: there so many really great.
Speaker 4: Things happening that I'm like, okay, like while this has happened,
Speaker 4: let's keep the ball rolling.
Speaker 3: And then our schedules has got ridiculous.
Speaker 4: We realized we were spread way too thin and you
Speaker 4: had to go back to filming. I was going to
Speaker 4: have a It was just too many things at once.
Speaker 2: So I have a question for Trouble right, because I
Speaker 2: know there are traumatic things that happen to people when
Speaker 2: they finally say I've had enough.
Speaker 1: Enough is enough?
Speaker 2: There wasn't no traumatic, no moment. I know there's some
Speaker 2: facts and stats about people when they decide. What are
Speaker 2: they when they decide like now was enough for me?
Speaker 2: Especially in relationships? What are the facts and stats?
Speaker 5: Well, one of the stats I wanted to include came
Speaker 5: from the National Domestic Violence Hotline because I think abusive
Speaker 5: relationships are a really good example of how hard it
Speaker 5: is to get out of the situation.
Speaker 1: Yeah with me. The reason why I asked based on
Speaker 1: what you said is right, go ahead.
Speaker 5: So individuals and abusive relationships, it takes them around seven
Speaker 5: attempts to leave before they permanently stay away.
Speaker 2: So you heard what she said, seven attempts, Right, You
Speaker 2: finally walked away this last October. I can guarantee you
Speaker 2: there were more times of you feeling over whelmed and
Speaker 2: feeling that it was finally that. And the reason why
Speaker 2: I brought that up is because it wasn't like everything
Speaker 2: was fine and this one opportunity came and it's like
Speaker 2: it's overwhelming and you quit. You know, you felt like
Speaker 2: we were just doing a lot for years.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, for a long time.
Speaker 10: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I get the correlation because it's not always related to
Speaker 4: domestic violence, of course.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but the trauma you put on yourself sometimes is
Speaker 2: more detrimental than the trauma someone else can put on.
Speaker 4: You, absolutely, because then it's like, how can I show
Speaker 4: up for you? And how can I show up for
Speaker 4: the kids if I'm not at my best? You know?
Speaker 3: So for me, that was that was it.
Speaker 4: It took me actually literally having to clock out like
Speaker 4: I after Saint Vincent. I was like, I'm done for
Speaker 4: the rest of the year. I'm done, I'm done, And
Speaker 4: I felt comfort. I felt such a relief in that.
Speaker 4: And I literally when I was in Jamaica for the
Speaker 4: New Year with you, I just kind of one morning
Speaker 4: when I was praying and meditating, I was like, God,
Speaker 4: I'm gonna just be still whatever you have for me.
Speaker 4: In twenty twenty five, after having a call with our
Speaker 4: new manager, Joe, I said, Joe, I'm not sure. And
Speaker 4: that's the first time I actually felt okay, vocalizing that
Speaker 4: I was not sure what was next for twenty twenty five.
Speaker 3: And it's funny, the opportunities just came.
Speaker 2: You brought that up because this is a conversation we
Speaker 2: finally get to have it. But I didn't even have
Speaker 2: it have it to have this with y'all with a
Speaker 2: Day with K. I had pitched a Day with K
Speaker 2: two K and to Joe in May. I think it
Speaker 2: was May. Yeah, And the first thing Joe said was,
Speaker 2: I don't think we have enough wrong way to do this.
Speaker 2: And the first thing I said was like, I always
Speaker 2: say we're gonna find a one way to do it.
Speaker 3: Because we always do and we always do. Yeah.
Speaker 2: And over the next three months, I watched Josh Matt Tribble,
Speaker 2: Brian Jordan Jr. Yourself, myself and Joe try to do
Speaker 2: everything right to make this thing.
Speaker 1: Work the way we wanted.
Speaker 3: It to work, right to our caliber.
Speaker 2: And I do want to apologize to y'all because that's
Speaker 2: a traumatic experience to put something on, to put your
Speaker 2: name behind it and say, look, we got two months
Speaker 2: figure it out. I think the reason wy I brought
Speaker 2: that up too is traumatic for me to do that
Speaker 2: to you.
Speaker 1: And I think that that was it for you.
Speaker 2: I think that was enough, was enough because it was like, devout,
Speaker 2: you have all these things that you just want me
Speaker 2: to do, but I'm the one who have to do all.
Speaker 1: The work now.
Speaker 2: And I was like, don't worry about you got it,
Speaker 2: you got it, and I was throwing stuff and throwing
Speaker 2: stuff and then throwing even Brian was just like dvo
Speaker 2: like seriously, and I was just like, yeah, I think
Speaker 2: that moment of just putting too much on top of
Speaker 2: what we were doing is what kind of caused you
Speaker 2: to be like, I gotta let this go, and I'm
Speaker 2: gonna tell you how the truth. The minute we sat
Speaker 2: down and say, yo, we're gonna have to push this off,
Speaker 2: we both felt better. I didn't realize how much it
Speaker 2: was gonna make me feel better because I got so used.
Speaker 1: To just pushing sitting in the same misery.
Speaker 4: I was bought into it too, because I was like, baby,
Speaker 4: you told me that we was going to do a
Speaker 4: dance routine, Love Love against the World.
Speaker 3: We did a dance routine. Brian George Junia was like,
Speaker 3: do you still think you could do it?
Speaker 5: Split?
Speaker 3: I said a split, Baby. I had nothing to split
Speaker 3: since I was nineteen. You know, I do a couple
Speaker 3: of tricks in bed, but I mean not to that caliber.
Speaker 1: So I was like, list it.
Speaker 4: So after doing that whole dance routine and getting my
Speaker 4: split back and everything, and I was like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 4: of course, I could do this, so it didn't feel
Speaker 4: like you were putting any kind of pressure on me
Speaker 4: at all. I was actually welcoming it because I was like, oh,
Speaker 4: I could do this, this is what I want to
Speaker 4: do anyway. You know, it's just logistically, it just was
Speaker 4: starting to not make sense for us.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm starting to realize that's the trauma be
Speaker 1: putting on people. Josh.
Speaker 2: How many times I've said stuff to you and you'd
Speaker 2: be like, logistics like dividers don't make sense. And I'll
Speaker 2: be like, I don't need it to make sense. I
Speaker 2: need it to work, get it done, and Josh.
Speaker 3: Be like, find a way. And we were going to
Speaker 3: find a way.
Speaker 4: But yeah, it was just one of those things that
Speaker 4: I think in that moment, I needed to let go
Speaker 4: of everything but my family and I literate. My conversation
Speaker 4: with God was like, whatever you have for me, I'm
Speaker 4: going to be still. If you need me to be
Speaker 4: at home more because my children need me at home more,
Speaker 4: I will be home. Or if my husband needs me
Speaker 4: in some capacity to support him and whatever he has
Speaker 4: going on, I'll be there to support him. If you
Speaker 4: have something for me that you feel like will be
Speaker 4: in my best interest.
Speaker 3: I welcome it. And that was literally my prayer at
Speaker 3: the end of twenty twenty four.
Speaker 2: And look how that worked out. The minute you let
Speaker 2: it go, right the minute you said I'm pretty much
Speaker 2: let go and let God. Let go and let God,
Speaker 2: that's when you had an even greater opportunity January sixth change,
Speaker 2: which like funny because had we been doing the other opportunity,
Speaker 2: you wouldn't have had an opportunity to do this opportunity.
Speaker 1: And sometimes that's.
Speaker 3: How the world works, that is how it works.
Speaker 2: You have to let go in order to open your
Speaker 2: hand to let another opportunity fall into it. And I
Speaker 2: learned that from mister Tyler Perry. Mister Tyler Perry told
Speaker 2: the story. No, Steve Harvey told the story.
Speaker 3: And Tyler was holding a dollar or something like that.
Speaker 1: No, it was the car. Oh, he had an old
Speaker 1: car and he wanted a new car.
Speaker 2: And his dad told him, as long as you keep
Speaker 2: this old car and driveway, you never make space for
Speaker 2: the new car. So he got rid of his old car,
Speaker 2: and turning him getting rid of his old car, he
Speaker 2: actually needed another car and put all the energy rather
Speaker 2: than saving the old car, into getting a new one.
Speaker 1: And he got it, and I got the message.
Speaker 2: The message wasn't always about just removing something, but it
Speaker 2: was letting something go so you can use the energy
Speaker 2: you used to hold on.
Speaker 1: To something to get what you really want.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And to me, that's what letting go is in
Speaker 2: any aspect, let go of something so you can go
Speaker 2: go get what.
Speaker 1: You really want.
Speaker 4: It literally blows my mind to this day when I
Speaker 4: think about it, because for the past what three four years,
Speaker 4: two years, three years, we were on tour in February
Speaker 4: every February.
Speaker 1: We were every February.
Speaker 3: We were doing shows since.
Speaker 2: Twenty twenty And when I got that that twenty twenty.
Speaker 3: One, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 4: So when I get that phone call, it's like, hey,
Speaker 4: what is your plan for twenty twenty five? And I
Speaker 4: was like, well, you know, rebranding the podcast.
Speaker 3: Imagine are you on tour? No?
Speaker 1: Imagine if you had have said I'm gonna be on tour.
Speaker 2: In February, can you imagine it would have been like, Oh,
Speaker 2: I'll catch you next time.
Speaker 3: I'll catch you next time.
Speaker 2: And then what happens if there is no next time?
Speaker 2: Because this opportunity was perfect for you?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Yeah, Oh, I'm in such a space of like in
Speaker 4: sync attitude. I can't stop thinking about the way things
Speaker 4: unfolded for me since the end of last year.
Speaker 1: That's why you gotta let go sometimes.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, insane.
Speaker 2: All right, this is what we're gonna do. Take a
Speaker 2: quick break, get back to these listener letters. Okay, all right,
Speaker 2: I think I got to listen a letter this time.
Speaker 1: Let me make sure.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I got to listen to a letter this time. We're
Speaker 2: gonna make take a quick break, come back into these
Speaker 2: listening letters.
Speaker 4: Sounds like I'm not. I was just making sure we
Speaker 4: didn't miss anything. But yeah, I think we're good to go.
Speaker 4: You okay, Ellis, Yeah, let go. Let go of these cars.
Speaker 3: No, leave the cars alone. Because Triple worked hard on
Speaker 3: the cards.
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying, there's trauma behind the cards
Speaker 4: when it comes to Triuble, I'm holding on to them.
Speaker 1: Okay, we'll be back.
Speaker 3: We'll be back, y'all. All right, listening letter, I'm gonna
Speaker 3: read it.
Speaker 2: I got you, baby, you had the last one. Yes,
Speaker 2: dear k Duval. First off, let me say, how's the family.
Speaker 2: I hope everyone good? Yes, yes, everyone's great. We appreciate you. Okay,
Speaker 2: So I listened to the episode the other day, nail
Speaker 2: polish or nah, I gotta say I'm with the vowl
Speaker 2: on this one. K you had some good points too,
Speaker 2: Sorry girl, but I'm with the vow only because nail
Speaker 2: polish is not made for boys or men. But if
Speaker 2: it's for a good cause, then put it on cleats,
Speaker 2: basketball shoes, jerseys, or even wear the color socks like
Speaker 2: they wear the color pink or cancer for the month
Speaker 2: of October. And I think Kaz is like me. I
Speaker 2: never follow anyone or anyone's trends. I have never been
Speaker 2: one to follow or care what anyone thinks. I'm my
Speaker 2: own person I have my own personality for a reason.
Speaker 2: But I don't mind your input or opinion from time
Speaker 2: to time, and I will take in take it into consideration. Mainly,
Speaker 2: it's gonna come down to what I think is best
Speaker 2: for me. Sometimes I think like maybe I should take
Speaker 2: other people's opinions into consideration.
Speaker 1: I don't know what do you guys think.
Speaker 2: Should I take other people's opinions and inputs into consideration
Speaker 2: or should I stay the same ps. I need you
Speaker 2: to come back with the live show in February so
Speaker 2: I can finally meet you both first seeing you guys
Speaker 2: on black Glove, I said to myself, I'm going to
Speaker 2: meet them in person someday.
Speaker 3: Existence I remember what my what was?
Speaker 4: What was my my stance on the nail polish or not?
Speaker 3: I don't remember.
Speaker 1: I personally don't remember.
Speaker 2: I do remember saying that my stance is that I
Speaker 2: just don't wear nail polish.
Speaker 1: Since something I don't want to do.
Speaker 2: But if and this person was saying, if they wanted
Speaker 2: to do it in solidarity, then something cool with that.
Speaker 2: I did say, though, if it's for solidarity, I would
Speaker 2: wear nails.
Speaker 1: If it's just something that I think has a cause.
Speaker 2: I personally don't think that just wearing nail polish makes
Speaker 2: you anti manly, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I just personally don't think that.
Speaker 2: So say it's a cause like brust cancer wearing this
Speaker 2: month and the kids in the clip I was talking about,
Speaker 2: they all had the pink nail polish with the kid's
Speaker 2: mom name on it because she had passed away.
Speaker 1: I rock with that, like I would do that. I
Speaker 1: don't think that makes you less of a man.
Speaker 2: I think you were an agreement on that, But I
Speaker 2: wouldn't just wear nail polish for any reason, and I
Speaker 2: wouldn't let my kids wear it just because because they
Speaker 2: their favorite athlete doing it. As far as her question
Speaker 2: about taking other people's input into consideration, I think you
Speaker 2: always should. And when you take other people's input into consideration,
Speaker 2: all you're doing is getting a different perspective of the
Speaker 2: same thing you look at, and.
Speaker 1: You can always do more with more perspectives.
Speaker 2: You know, when you limit yourself to one perspective, it
Speaker 2: makes you close and now reminded, and you can't grow
Speaker 2: that way. So taking their opinion into consideration doesn't mean
Speaker 2: that you have to follow what they say. Yeah, so
Speaker 2: you can take and listen and do I agree, Do
Speaker 2: I not agree? Can I understand? Okay, I understand, and
Speaker 2: then move forward what you want to do anyway, but
Speaker 2: definitely take their.
Speaker 3: Opinion into Yeah, I'm in agreement with that.
Speaker 4: I mean, the fact that you listen to a podcast
Speaker 4: is already showing that you probably a listening to people's
Speaker 4: opinions about different things, and you never know. I never
Speaker 4: profess to everything about anything, So if I can at
Speaker 4: least learn something pull something from someone cool, but not
Speaker 4: to the extent where I feel like I'm making decisions
Speaker 4: for my life based off of someone else.
Speaker 3: Like that's different.
Speaker 4: Live a large portion of my life with that indoctrinated
Speaker 4: into my head that I have to be concerned about
Speaker 4: what other people are going to think if I were
Speaker 4: to live in my truth.
Speaker 3: As long as I'm not hurting nobody's feelings, I'm not
Speaker 3: harming anybody.
Speaker 4: I don't think see anything wrong with existing fully and
Speaker 4: holy in what makes me happy.
Speaker 1: I knew that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, thanks for writing in And we might do another
Speaker 4: live show. I'm just saying it may not be a
Speaker 4: tour here we but Ellis ever after we might bring
Speaker 4: it out along.
Speaker 3: We'll see.
Speaker 4: I'm warming up to the idea of it because I
Speaker 4: was done. I was done with the live shows, Yeah,
Speaker 4: I was.
Speaker 3: I was done after Dead Ass because we thought maybe
Speaker 3: Dead Ass was going to come to an end.
Speaker 2: So I was done with the tours. I was never
Speaker 2: done with the live shows for two reasons. Number one,
Speaker 2: that's the best way that we can interact with our people,
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying. Also, to the energy you
Speaker 2: get from being on stage, you don't want.
Speaker 4: To I agree with that, saying it was for us
Speaker 4: to like actually put on these shows and tour, but
Speaker 4: like you said, if we do a live show in
Speaker 4: Brooklyn or you know.
Speaker 3: I was never done wanted to hear her.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I guess it's a difference hearing people scream.
Speaker 3: Oh, it's my favorite.
Speaker 1: There's nothing in.
Speaker 2: Type of feeling watching yourself on television or in a
Speaker 2: film that comes like.
Speaker 1: Being on tour pause.
Speaker 2: Completely agree, you know what I'm saying, Like you can
Speaker 2: watch I watched myself on Netflix and I was like, wow,
Speaker 2: I'm on Netflix.
Speaker 3: I'd rather do live shows than this and podcasts. Yeah,
Speaker 3: oh that's tough.
Speaker 1: Yeah, which one if you have to pick one? Right? Yeah,
Speaker 1: if I had.
Speaker 4: To pick one, right, I mean, it's not realistic to
Speaker 4: just do live shows all the time. But yeah, I
Speaker 4: get why people love live shows. I love live shows
Speaker 4: for that reason. It's probably my favorite part of podcasting altogether.
Speaker 4: But but yeah, we'll see, we'll see.
Speaker 3: All right. So are we don't listener letter?
Speaker 8: Yeah?
Speaker 3: We are.
Speaker 4: Well, if you want to write in and be featured
Speaker 4: as a listener letter, be sure to email us at
Speaker 4: the Elisadvice at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: That's t h E E L L I A d
Speaker 1: V I C A Gmail. That kind of I think.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're right, all right, moment of truth time. So
Speaker 4: today we're talking about knowing when to let it go,
Speaker 4: quit move on. You've had enough, whether it's that relationship, partnership,
Speaker 4: that job.
Speaker 2: You know very it's knowing when to let go so
Speaker 2: you can receive what God has for you. Sometimes you
Speaker 2: hold on to what you think is your purpose just
Speaker 2: because it's comfortable, it feels familiar, and a lot of
Speaker 2: times that familiar, comfortable feeling has you sitting in misery.
Speaker 2: It's okay to let go of the misery and really
Speaker 2: get what God has for you. So that's my moment
Speaker 2: of truth. Man, let go what you think is comfortable
Speaker 2: for what you know is better.
Speaker 3: I love that mine was going to be. Change is good.
Speaker 4: Change can be very good, And I think it's changed
Speaker 4: when you are equipped, at least with a plan, when
Speaker 4: you're equipped with the reason why you want to change
Speaker 4: and shift. Change is uncomfortable, but I promise you on
Speaker 4: the other end of change can be some really really
Speaker 4: beautiful things. So, yeah, getting out of that comfort zone
Speaker 4: can be the beginning of something so new for you.
Speaker 4: I know for me, I was in a comfort zone,
Speaker 4: you know, doing a lot of tandem things with you. Yeah,
Speaker 4: things with the family comfort zone. My comfort zone was
Speaker 4: like the podcast with my husband and my homies and whatnot.
Speaker 4: And I was still and I embraced change. I was
Speaker 4: open to something different. I was open to tapping into
Speaker 4: something that I thought was lost.
Speaker 1: Did you hesitate it all in me when you got
Speaker 1: the phone call? Did you hesitate it all?
Speaker 5: Like?
Speaker 1: I don't know if I can do this.
Speaker 4: Absolutely, self doubt, fear, imposter syndrome, all of that tried
Speaker 4: to rear its ugly head.
Speaker 3: I had to talk myself out of it a lot.
Speaker 2: I just want to be clear that she's saying this.
Speaker 2: We have a podcast, we've been on tour, she's done
Speaker 2: live shows and all this stuff, and still and still
Speaker 2: she felt self doubt. So if you're at home and
Speaker 2: you're feeling self doubt, don't ask yourself.
Speaker 1: Why am I the only one feeling this? We all
Speaker 1: feel it.
Speaker 2: Even the people you watch every day on television do
Speaker 2: whatever they do, there's some doubt that creeps in. They're
Speaker 2: just good at figuring out how to suppress it so
Speaker 2: they can do what they have exactly a good job
Speaker 2: doing that too.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I realized too, I was like, you know what,
Speaker 4: God was not going to put this opportunity in front
Speaker 4: of me, if he didn't feel like it was prepared
Speaker 4: for it.
Speaker 3: So I said.
Speaker 4: My prayer after that was to just eradicate any feeling
Speaker 4: of self doubt or fear or imposter syndrome, because everything
Speaker 4: that I've done up to this point was preparing me
Speaker 4: for this moment anyway. Like I went to school for this,
Speaker 4: I've been doing this in small capacities. Yeah, I took
Speaker 4: some time to have a couple of babies and you know,
Speaker 4: pouring to my family, but.
Speaker 1: Two couples, two couple of babies for before.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're right, but it's all things that I was
Speaker 4: already equipped to do. It was it's who I am,
Speaker 4: and I just needed a solid opportunity. So yeah, y'all,
Speaker 4: change is good. Embrace it. Get out that comfort zone
Speaker 4: because on the other side are very beautiful things.
Speaker 1: Trouble what's your moment of truth?
Speaker 5: Well, we didn't really have a round table discussion about this,
Speaker 5: so I didn't get to tell my story.
Speaker 3: About how round table is.
Speaker 5: My first breakup sophomore year of college, I couldn't let
Speaker 5: go and I got in trouble for stalking this girl.
Speaker 5: No way I did, and that taught me a really
Speaker 5: valuable lesson. If you don't let go, you can go
Speaker 5: to jail. Literally, I mean that's pretty much the best
Speaker 5: lesson you can learn.
Speaker 3: Like actually let go. This is almost like.
Speaker 1: You know, I learned if you don't let go and
Speaker 1: go to jail, if you show up at people house,
Speaker 1: they clothes, they might get upset. What what what did
Speaker 1: you do that was so bad? I want to know everyone.
Speaker 5: I would like send stuff to her job one time.
Speaker 5: The worst thing I ever did was she had she
Speaker 5: lived in an apartment that had it didn't have a key,
Speaker 5: it had like a code to get in. So I
Speaker 5: like went in her apartment and like slept in her
Speaker 5: bed while she wasn't there, and then she came home.
Speaker 5: It was so long ago.
Speaker 8: Six months.
Speaker 3: Ship story.
Speaker 5: This is embarrassing.
Speaker 1: But why can't you trying to throw this girl bed?
Speaker 3: I'm just talking about moments that were expressing who.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's hard to let go, you have It's something
Speaker 5: that you have to learn how to do. I don't
Speaker 5: think anybody is. Maybe some people are naturally able to
Speaker 5: do it, but it is something you have to learn
Speaker 5: how to do, and it does take work. It does
Speaker 5: take understanding that life is like a river, you know,
Speaker 5: you can't stop it from flowing. It was your first love, Yeah,
Speaker 5: it was my first relationship.
Speaker 1: Was happening.
Speaker 5: Well, he still lives in Ohio, he's married.
Speaker 1: This is what happened. Now we know the origin story.
Speaker 1: He transitioned, he pressed charges.
Speaker 8: He didn't.
Speaker 5: Yeah, he transitioned. When we dated, he was a man,
Speaker 5: he was a girl.
Speaker 1: Oh he was a girl.
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh I thought you may he died.
Speaker 1: I was about to say, what transitioned into another?
Speaker 3: Passed away?
Speaker 4: Oh no, okay, sorry, it.
Speaker 5: Was a she and then she transitioned to be Yes.
Speaker 5: So now he still lives in Ohio. We're but cool now,
Speaker 5: you know. We talked from time to time. It was
Speaker 5: a hard time in my life, but I did have
Speaker 5: to go to therapy, and I.
Speaker 2: Was it harder because I had to learn my transition
Speaker 2: or no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1: It was something you did. No no, ok yeah that
Speaker 1: had none to do with you, no, nothing.
Speaker 5: But yeah, I had to learn. Something that I learned
Speaker 5: was mindfulness practice, like learning how to let thoughts and
Speaker 5: feelings flow through you as they come. And it is
Speaker 5: helpful with any decision you make, anything you have to
Speaker 5: let go, anything you have to move on from It
Speaker 5: is helpful to acknowledge your feelings and let them pass.
Speaker 5: Don't hold on even though.
Speaker 4: Yeah, acknowledge it and let it pass. Fel like I
Speaker 4: was doing that more recently recently, Yeah, yeah, just like
Speaker 4: allowing myself to feel what I feel and not shaming
Speaker 4: myself or feeling what I feel, but then saying okay
Speaker 4: and then it goes.
Speaker 2: I feel like that's how we've got past arguing over
Speaker 2: the past couple of years. Understanding that you feel a way,
Speaker 2: and I understand that you feel the way, I'm a
Speaker 2: let it flowing and let it pass, and also understand
Speaker 2: that I feel a way now, I'm not always going
Speaker 2: to feel that way, So you know what, let me
Speaker 2: not make this.
Speaker 1: Feeling be the rest of my day. You know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. That's let me need to be mindful. I
Speaker 1: feel this way now, but we'll be later.
Speaker 3: You know that makes sense.
Speaker 1: Josh, you ever stalked anybody? I know you have.
Speaker 8: Plead a fifth anybody.
Speaker 7: But my moment of truth is quitting isn't weakness. It
Speaker 7: is making room for a better you, a better job,
Speaker 7: a better dream, not good than anything. Sometimes we look
Speaker 7: at quitting as a failure to ourselves, to our dreams
Speaker 7: or our goals. But quitting can be used as something
Speaker 7: as a what's that thing when you spring cleaning, allowing
Speaker 7: yourself to provide, allowing space in your life to for
Speaker 7: a new chapter.
Speaker 1: I get it. Don't look at this queens quitting that's what.
Speaker 8: Don't look at quitting as a weakness. That's that's.
Speaker 2: Don't let don't let letting go become quitting, which we
Speaker 2: see as a weakness.
Speaker 1: Then go there you there you go. I got you, Matt, I.
Speaker 9: Say, trust your intuition. You know it's time for change. Yeah,
Speaker 9: it may take time, but go towards and try to
Speaker 9: make change. Trust yourself because if you feel it, it's
Speaker 9: for a reason.
Speaker 3: Yeah that gut, don't lie. The gut short, don't lie.
Speaker 2: Pulls them guts, don't lie.
Speaker 1: I was trying to rock with you, but these two
Speaker 1: just jump that. I was going rock with you the weirdest.
Speaker 8: Good morning.
Speaker 3: Trust your gun, I got getting goods right.
Speaker 2: What you know about getting you don't know nothing about.
Speaker 1: That's yeah, yeah, that's true every day.
Speaker 5: Sorry guts, so be sure to find us on These
Speaker 5: conversations were going so far left.
Speaker 3: We talk about heartfelt moments of change to guts. I
Speaker 3: love it, yo.
Speaker 2: Triple just made it seem like she was doing the
Speaker 2: most calm thing and it just said, yeah, so sometimes
Speaker 2: if you don't let go, you can end up in jail.
Speaker 2: That's when it started going crazy because I didn't know
Speaker 2: what it was going there, and I was like, what'd
Speaker 2: you do?
Speaker 1: Triple? I thought you could be like.
Speaker 2: I was outside of her house and I was calling
Speaker 2: her name. Yeah, I used the cold got in.
Speaker 1: I was in her bed. She wasn't there. I was
Speaker 1: in bed.
Speaker 3: Tell her one more time? Is that what it is?
Speaker 5: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I wasn't.
Speaker 5: I wasn't mentally you were young though, yeah, it was
Speaker 5: like nineteen nineteen.
Speaker 3: That was your first live.
Speaker 2: About the Triple was in her bed with airport clothes on.
Speaker 2: That's what drew the line right there. She walked in
Speaker 2: there like.
Speaker 1: Knock that out.
Speaker 3: Couldn't have been a West Indian.
Speaker 4: There's a file and then we're like, nah, everybody knows
Speaker 4: that you do not sit on the bed outside clothes.
Speaker 3: All right, y'all.
Speaker 4: Be sure to find us on Patreon to see the
Speaker 4: after show, as well as more exclusive Ellis Ever After content,
Speaker 4: and you can find us on social media at ellis
Speaker 4: ever After on Instagram.
Speaker 3: I'm Kadeen, I am I'm Deval.
Speaker 9: I'm at on the score matt dot Ellis. There's too
Speaker 9: many Matt ellis Is in the world.
Speaker 8: Sorry, Oh shoot, my bad.
Speaker 1: This is me this guy.
Speaker 8: And I am Josha Dwayne at j O s h
Speaker 8: U A underscored d w A I N.
Speaker 1: We got you. We're gonna put it. We're gonna know
Speaker 1: what throws you to death.
Speaker 5: And I'm at t R I B B L s Now.
Speaker 1: We all knew it. We all knew it.
Speaker 5: I'm at Trims, the Cool Trims, what is EVA cool?
Speaker 1: That's right?
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Speaker 3: Y'all tell a friend Baby Ella's ever After.
Speaker 1: We Got.
Speaker 5: Ellis ever Aptor is an iHeartMedia podcast. It's hosted by
Speaker 5: Kadeen and Deval Ellis. It's produced by Triple Video, production
Speaker 5: by Joshua Dwyane and Matthew Ellis, video editing by Lashan Roe.
Speaker 1: To Kona
Speaker 3: Toga Toka