WEBVTT - Digital Chaos, DEI Drama & the Real State of Black America 0:00:00.240 --> 0:00:02.120 You know, one of the most chilling parts of this 0:00:02.200 --> 0:00:08.640 report is like the focus on misinformation and censorship, digital censorship, misinformation, 0:00:09.200 --> 0:00:13.200 how they undermine democracy. The more conservative these channels get, 0:00:13.240 --> 0:00:17.560 will they start to suppress progressive voices, progressive accounts. 0:00:17.880 --> 0:00:20.080 You have to have like judgment enough to say, let 0:00:20.079 --> 0:00:22.079 me look up whether this is true or not, and 0:00:22.160 --> 0:00:23.079 a lot of people don't. 0:00:23.160 --> 0:00:23.799 Let's be real. 0:00:23.960 --> 0:00:25.880 And I always I find it funny because like, these 0:00:25.880 --> 0:00:27.400 are the same people growing up who are like, don't 0:00:27.400 --> 0:00:29.040 believe everything you see. 0:00:29.200 --> 0:00:30.800 We'll be on the internet distressed and stuff. 0:00:30.800 --> 0:00:32.360 And I'm like, and they're the same ones now who 0:00:32.400 --> 0:00:45.720 are just yeah, everything's real and it's hey. 0:00:40.360 --> 0:00:44.120 Be a fam Welcome to brown Ambition. I'm your host, 0:00:44.280 --> 0:00:47.680 Mandy Money. I am joined in the stew, the virtual stew, 0:00:48.200 --> 0:00:52.199 with my beloveds Chris Browning of Popcorn Finance and jan 0:00:52.280 --> 0:00:56.480 Nelly s Finale aka must be Helpful. Hey, guys, Hey, 0:00:57.720 --> 0:01:01.240 how's your summer's going. It's hot. It's hot. 0:01:01.840 --> 0:01:04.200 It is I feel like I've been traveling NonStop, but 0:01:04.280 --> 0:01:08.120 everywhere I go there's either rainstorms, flooding, or heat wave. 0:01:08.520 --> 0:01:12.480 And you're really getting a toward day, towards a climate 0:01:12.600 --> 0:01:14.360 change is what it feels like. I mean, you know, 0:01:14.760 --> 0:01:15.399 I'm scared. 0:01:17.440 --> 0:01:19.039 It's what. I won't talk about the weather over here 0:01:19.040 --> 0:01:22.800 because it's none of those things. So I'm much. 0:01:25.000 --> 0:01:26.840 I was gonna call it earlier today with someone in 0:01:26.880 --> 0:01:29.320 Cali and they were like, it's great today, y'all. Ugh, 0:01:29.560 --> 0:01:31.120 And I was like, I don't need to hear any 0:01:31.120 --> 0:01:36.280 complaints right unless you got like forest fires. No, no complaints. 0:01:35.920 --> 0:01:38.000 Place, no good place because it may or may not 0:01:38.040 --> 0:01:39.760 be sixty one degrees right now over here. 0:01:40.240 --> 0:01:43.200 Oh, you're perfect climate. 0:01:44.240 --> 0:01:44.920 It really is. 0:01:45.560 --> 0:01:47.760 That's the worst of it. I'll take it. I'll take 0:01:47.880 --> 0:01:51.840 it well. I just got a text actually from my 0:01:51.880 --> 0:01:56.360 brother breaking news. Have y'all heard? You know, what's the 0:01:56.400 --> 0:02:04.160 older brother from the Cosby Show? The actor what's his name? Malcolm? Yeah? 0:02:04.240 --> 0:02:06.840 Malcolm Yeah? Passed away? 0:02:07.520 --> 0:02:08.120 What really? 0:02:08.120 --> 0:02:11.480 Goodness of what causes what happened? 0:02:11.760 --> 0:02:15.160 I don't know. My brother just texted that he passed away. 0:02:16.080 --> 0:02:19.000 He played Theo Huxtable on The Cosby's. I don't think 0:02:19.080 --> 0:02:21.359 we've had I remind me if I'm wrong. I don't 0:02:21.360 --> 0:02:23.880 think anyone prominent from the Cosby Show has passed away. 0:02:24.120 --> 0:02:26.400 No, he's fifty four years old. 0:02:26.520 --> 0:02:26.800 Y'all. 0:02:26.840 --> 0:02:29.120 He was, Oh, my goodness, he's so young. 0:02:29.200 --> 0:02:29.919 What's so young? 0:02:31.680 --> 0:02:33.120 I was just talking to a friend about one of 0:02:33.160 --> 0:02:35.160 my favorite shows, like I gess, like late nineties was 0:02:35.320 --> 0:02:38.720 Malcolm and Eddie where it was him and uh, what's 0:02:38.720 --> 0:02:41.919 that Eddie was? It was last name, Eddie griff was good, 0:02:41.919 --> 0:02:43.440 the last name, but the comedian. They had a show together. 0:02:43.440 --> 0:02:44.400 It was like, said kind of the two of them, 0:02:44.440 --> 0:02:46.600 they lived together, and I was like, I love that show, 0:02:46.639 --> 0:02:48.079 but no one really ever watched it. 0:02:48.240 --> 0:02:49.600 Oh no, y'all. 0:02:49.720 --> 0:02:52.280 He died of an apparent accident till drowning. 0:02:53.360 --> 0:02:57.520 No. Oh, that breaks my heart. You know. 0:02:57.600 --> 0:02:59.200 Ever since I was a little girl, I always used 0:02:59.200 --> 0:03:00.959 to be like pushing, push, pushing that people need to 0:03:01.000 --> 0:03:03.000 learn how to swim, swim, swim because I went to 0:03:03.080 --> 0:03:05.880 a middle school called Philippa Skuyler Middle School, which was 0:03:05.880 --> 0:03:06.520 I s thirty three. 0:03:06.560 --> 0:03:10.400 Shoutout to everybody who went to Skyler in Bushwick. It 0:03:10.520 --> 0:03:11.560 wasn't named you know. 0:03:11.840 --> 0:03:14.240 It was named after a woman named Philippa Skuyler who 0:03:14.720 --> 0:03:18.120 Keys Alicia Keys was supposed. 0:03:17.800 --> 0:03:18.840 To play her in a film. 0:03:19.720 --> 0:03:21.760 But the thing about her, she was a child prodigy, 0:03:22.400 --> 0:03:24.800 an exceptional pianist like by the age of three years old, 0:03:24.880 --> 0:03:27.399 she was composing music playing piano, This black woman who 0:03:27.440 --> 0:03:30.399 nobody almost pretty much nobody really knows her name, And 0:03:30.720 --> 0:03:32.960 when you look up her story, the most tragic thing 0:03:33.080 --> 0:03:36.120 she died when she was trying to save children who 0:03:36.120 --> 0:03:37.920 were in the water and she couldn't swim, but she 0:03:37.960 --> 0:03:39.920 was going out trying to save then she ended up drowning. 0:03:40.040 --> 0:03:41.880 And I was probably like eleven years old in middle 0:03:41.920 --> 0:03:44.040 school when they taught us the story of Philippa Skyler, 0:03:44.320 --> 0:03:46.080 and ever since then it stuck with me, like, yo, 0:03:46.200 --> 0:03:48.000 if she just knew how to swim, she would still 0:03:48.000 --> 0:03:50.240 be a liight or not today, but she would probably 0:03:50.240 --> 0:03:51.840 maybe still her legend would. 0:03:51.680 --> 0:03:53.880 Be one of like living to old age. 0:03:53.680 --> 0:03:55.560 And being able to tell the story of being a prodigy. 0:03:55.680 --> 0:03:58.120 Like that is just so heartbreaking. The fact that he 0:03:58.160 --> 0:04:00.400 died of an accidental drowning. I don't know dak details, 0:04:00.400 --> 0:04:02.000 but I just looked it up real quick and it 0:04:02.040 --> 0:04:04.760 says that apparently over the weekend he had a tragic, 0:04:04.840 --> 0:04:07.640 unexpected accident where he drowned, just like. 0:04:08.040 --> 0:04:12.320 No, actually, some people drown who do know how to swim. 0:04:12.440 --> 0:04:14.920 It depends on like the currents. Do you remember the 0:04:15.760 --> 0:04:17.880 oh that beautiful girl from Glee, what was her name, 0:04:18.360 --> 0:04:20.000 you know, and she was like, oh, that's the most 0:04:20.000 --> 0:04:24.240 heartbreaking drowning. I mean, obviously her condolence is the Malcolm story, 0:04:24.440 --> 0:04:27.520 Malcolm's family. Yeah, she was. She was in the middle 0:04:27.520 --> 0:04:29.320 of a lake and you wouldn't think a lake would 0:04:29.400 --> 0:04:33.440 have crazy currents right now, you're rivera, No, that's her name, 0:04:33.480 --> 0:04:35.719 thank you. That was terrible. I remember when that happened, 0:04:36.000 --> 0:04:38.160 and like she could swim and she was able to 0:04:38.200 --> 0:04:40.440 swim and save her son, but the currents were so 0:04:40.480 --> 0:04:44.440 strong from the wind, I guess. Yeah. So, but whatever 0:04:44.440 --> 0:04:51.440 the circumstances, that is absolutely tragic, vacation with his family, terrible, iconic. 0:04:52.040 --> 0:04:56.080 The COSMU show is everything. And I know that Bill 0:04:56.240 --> 0:04:59.080 tried to do what he could to smear the legacy 0:04:59.120 --> 0:05:02.919 of that show and almost, excuse me, succeeded. But we 0:05:02.960 --> 0:05:04.840 still have so many greats that have come from that show, 0:05:04.880 --> 0:05:07.839 and he was one of them. And that's really right. 0:05:08.240 --> 0:05:12.040 And all the kid actors on that show, like, we're phenomenal, 0:05:12.160 --> 0:05:12.719 every single one. 0:05:12.839 --> 0:05:16.400 They were, oh incredible. It gave us Lisa Bonnet, they 0:05:16.440 --> 0:05:20.080 gave us Felicia Rashad, they gave us raven some mound. 0:05:23.839 --> 0:05:27.800 Did y'all grow up watching The Cosby Show? Yes, oh yeah, yeah, 0:05:27.800 --> 0:05:28.400 of course. 0:05:28.480 --> 0:05:31.160 For sure that and uh what was it spen off? 0:05:31.160 --> 0:05:31.760 A different world? 0:05:32.880 --> 0:05:36.200 M h, a different se before. But now the kids 0:05:36.240 --> 0:05:39.160 have we have streaming apps, we have like we had DVR, 0:05:39.320 --> 0:05:42.120 which eventually came to be. But if you were not 0:05:42.279 --> 0:05:44.560 sad for those shows, you would like miss it. And 0:05:44.640 --> 0:05:47.000 so sure, I don't know what my childhood schedule was, 0:05:47.040 --> 0:05:49.240 but A Different World was not. I couldn't watch it 0:05:49.279 --> 0:05:50.920 as much. I would love to watch that now as 0:05:50.960 --> 0:05:53.760 an adult, though, I think you can on Netflix. Yeah, 0:05:54.040 --> 0:05:55.320 it's on Netflix myself. 0:05:56.720 --> 0:05:59.440 What's that, oh, Sidia, it has to be streaming somewhere, because 0:05:59.760 --> 0:06:01.800 I'm pretty sure I watched it like reruns, like during 0:06:01.800 --> 0:06:03.520 the day, like you know, like in the summer vacation. 0:06:03.560 --> 0:06:05.440 That's when I watched a different word a lot, like 0:06:05.480 --> 0:06:06.920 it was a Cosby Show or a different world, like 0:06:06.920 --> 0:06:09.080 sometimes randomly in the morning that it would come on 0:06:09.080 --> 0:06:10.560 on some channel, you know, you know, back of the day. 0:06:10.600 --> 0:06:12.000 You don't know what y'all know what I was watching. 0:06:12.000 --> 0:06:13.680 I just turned the TV on and something what's happening? 0:06:14.160 --> 0:06:16.160 I was the one who was up late my mom 0:06:16.160 --> 0:06:18.080 and dad would go to sleep, and I would stay 0:06:18.160 --> 0:06:22.080 up late watching Livy Single like I was watching The 0:06:22.120 --> 0:06:22.839 Cosby Show. 0:06:23.320 --> 0:06:25.599 A different world. I watched all the late night. 0:06:25.480 --> 0:06:27.600 Shows, or at least nick at night. They would play them, 0:06:27.640 --> 0:06:29.160 and I would just literally stay up till two in 0:06:29.240 --> 0:06:30.960 the morning. My mom would think I was sleeping because 0:06:30.960 --> 0:06:32.800 she was pray Hullo Rosary and go to sleep, and 0:06:32.800 --> 0:06:33.680 I would get out the bed. 0:06:33.600 --> 0:06:37.760 And go Wader, How did you hide the sound? 0:06:38.480 --> 0:06:40.400 No, because their room was like two or three rooms 0:06:40.440 --> 0:06:41.720 away from the living room, so I would just put 0:06:41.720 --> 0:06:42.440 it on low volume. 0:06:42.480 --> 0:06:43.240 They wouldn't even know. 0:06:44.760 --> 0:06:46.000 That's how you do. That's how I watched all of 0:06:46.000 --> 0:06:48.160 the Jeffersons was naked night late at night. Just you 0:06:48.279 --> 0:06:50.160 just gotta close the door a little bit and hope 0:06:50.200 --> 0:06:51.120 nobody watched my nose. 0:06:51.120 --> 0:06:52.440 You're awake. That's right. 0:06:53.480 --> 0:06:58.440 Well, that's so sad. Condolence sister, his family. I don't 0:06:58.480 --> 0:07:00.479 know if he had kids or anything like that, but 0:07:01.640 --> 0:07:06.479 I'm sure I'm sure that the cast will be issuing statements. 0:07:06.480 --> 0:07:08.279 He was in a show with Tracy Ellis Ross too. 0:07:09.120 --> 0:07:09.560 That's right. 0:07:09.640 --> 0:07:13.560 I forgot about that show. You were thinking of Eddie Griffin. 0:07:13.640 --> 0:07:14.000 There we go. 0:07:14.080 --> 0:07:17.040 Yeah, that's right, Malcolm and Eddie. That was ninety six 0:07:17.080 --> 0:07:24.360 to two thousand. Oh man, Well, what else has been 0:07:24.360 --> 0:07:28.280 going on in the world? I wanted? I was like, well, 0:07:28.320 --> 0:07:30.440 that was kind of I mean, that's very sad news. 0:07:30.560 --> 0:07:33.200 Do I have to jump directly into more sad news? 0:07:33.360 --> 0:07:35.400 I mean, let's just keep the let's just keep it going. 0:07:36.000 --> 0:07:39.400 I have to talk about y'all know, the National Urban League, 0:07:39.520 --> 0:07:44.760 iconic organization right has been you know, for decades now 0:07:44.920 --> 0:07:51.360 working to advance equality for us, and they issued this 0:07:51.440 --> 0:07:55.560 report called the State of Black America, which just came 0:07:55.560 --> 0:07:59.920 out this past week. I was on the embargo list 0:08:00.000 --> 0:08:02.320 because I guess they're partnering with NABJ and I don't 0:08:02.360 --> 0:08:04.800 know how so I hadn't I had an advanced copy 0:08:04.840 --> 0:08:06.920 of it. And the first thing I see when I 0:08:07.040 --> 0:08:08.360 have y'all seen have you opened the link that I 0:08:08.400 --> 0:08:09.239 put in the show notes. 0:08:09.320 --> 0:08:11.040 I didn't get to read it thoroughly, but it looks 0:08:11.040 --> 0:08:12.600 like it's very detailed. 0:08:12.840 --> 0:08:15.840 Just just open just open the front, open the door. 0:08:16.440 --> 0:08:19.040 Everything with fire. Everything's on fire. 0:08:19.040 --> 0:08:24.480 That's great, literally a dumpster fire. Literally. They were like, hmm, 0:08:25.560 --> 0:08:31.440 what could be the right image to straight to accurately 0:08:31.520 --> 0:08:36.560 represent How about? And I can just imagine the zoom 0:08:36.600 --> 0:08:39.880 call they were on and someone's like, I have an idea, please, 0:08:40.240 --> 0:08:43.200 A flaming hot pile of garbage. No, but literally a 0:08:43.240 --> 0:08:46.040 garbage can on fire. What have we got in this 0:08:46.080 --> 0:08:49.439 garbage can? We got the nineteen sixty five Voting Rights Act, 0:08:49.520 --> 0:08:51.719 we got freedom of speech, we got the FDA, we 0:08:51.840 --> 0:08:58.520 got the us Aid Organization Title nine, which stops racism 0:08:58.520 --> 0:09:02.920 and discrimination in schools. We got at the USDA, FEMA 0:09:03.520 --> 0:09:08.560 Title X funding snap benefits. I mean, you know, I 0:09:08.600 --> 0:09:10.960 bet they were adding things to this up until the 0:09:11.080 --> 0:09:12.080 last second. 0:09:11.920 --> 0:09:13.839 Right, Yeah, because you just never know what's gonna pop 0:09:13.920 --> 0:09:14.560 up next, Right. 0:09:14.480 --> 0:09:16.640 There's so much to choose for put it all in there. 0:09:16.840 --> 0:09:19.440 The sad thing is this is not even exaggeration. They 0:09:19.480 --> 0:09:21.360 probably had to leave some stuff out. They can't fut 0:09:21.360 --> 0:09:23.440 anything else in our dumpster fire, you guys, we have to. 0:09:24.040 --> 0:09:27.800 We got to stop it somewhere. But just some of 0:09:27.880 --> 0:09:31.560 the I did want to read some of the main 0:09:31.640 --> 0:09:35.000 points and bea family can put this in those show notes. 0:09:35.480 --> 0:09:38.320 It's hard because when you're living it, it feels like, 0:09:39.520 --> 0:09:42.400 why do we want to belabor these points? And just 0:09:42.440 --> 0:09:46.480 like re traumatize ourselves to what's going on. But the 0:09:46.880 --> 0:09:50.040 first thing I thought about when I saw this wasn't necessarily, oh, 0:09:50.120 --> 0:09:51.880 this is really depressing. I don't want to read this 0:09:51.880 --> 0:09:54.120 as sucks. We already know what's happening. It's more like 0:09:54.559 --> 0:09:58.360 this is a document that can supplement our kids' education 0:09:58.440 --> 0:10:00.880 in the future. Like this is history. This is like 0:10:00.920 --> 0:10:04.400 a history book. It's a snapshot of what's going on 0:10:04.440 --> 0:10:06.720 in Black America right now. And for that, I feel 0:10:06.760 --> 0:10:08.920 like it's really important that we do have some sort 0:10:08.960 --> 0:10:12.439 of like we have a historical documentation of what has 0:10:12.480 --> 0:10:16.920 been happening and the context of everything, the order of things, 0:10:17.440 --> 0:10:21.880 from the far right media to legalizing our justice system 0:10:22.200 --> 0:10:25.880 against pretty much every constitutional right that's meant to protect us, 0:10:26.440 --> 0:10:31.080 the policy rollbacks, the DEI rollbacks. I'm sure there's stuff 0:10:31.080 --> 0:10:34.520 in here about police brutality as well. You know, it's 0:10:34.520 --> 0:10:35.560 an important document. 0:10:35.640 --> 0:10:35.800 Now. 0:10:35.880 --> 0:10:38.839 Is it light bedtime reading? Probably? No. 0:10:38.960 --> 0:10:41.000 I would definitely not read this before from going to bed. 0:10:42.920 --> 0:10:43.560 I was supposed to. 0:10:43.559 --> 0:10:47.240 Speak at the Urban League this summer. Oops, I messed up. 0:10:48.040 --> 0:10:49.760 I was to what happened. 0:10:50.679 --> 0:10:53.840 It was a virtual It was a virtual thing, like 0:10:53.880 --> 0:10:55.800 it was gonna it's a virtual conference. I think it's 0:10:55.800 --> 0:10:57.720 happening this week, which is why they brought out them. 0:10:57.760 --> 0:11:01.240 They issued this report in tandem with that or last week. Yeah, 0:11:01.280 --> 0:11:03.439 so National Urban League. They had invited me to do 0:11:03.480 --> 0:11:07.080 a talk something personal finance related months ago, and I 0:11:07.120 --> 0:11:09.560 was supposed to submit like a video. I was supposed 0:11:09.559 --> 0:11:11.680 to record my session and then submit it and I 0:11:11.880 --> 0:11:16.200 just plum, I just plumb forgot. And then it wasn't 0:11:16.280 --> 0:11:21.800 until Melissa Millennial what it was not Broken Millennial in debt, 0:11:21.800 --> 0:11:24.680 thank you. It wasn't until she had posted on LinkedIn. 0:11:24.720 --> 0:11:27.400 I was like, oh damn, I'm not supposed to be there. 0:11:28.160 --> 0:11:30.720 I think I was supposed to do that too, and it. 0:11:30.640 --> 0:11:32.520 Was a paid gig too. But it was fine because 0:11:32.520 --> 0:11:34.720 they also kind of forgot, and I kind of forgot. 0:11:35.720 --> 0:11:38.400 It's the best one that happens. But I'll see them 0:11:38.440 --> 0:11:40.000 next year, I guess. 0:11:40.720 --> 0:11:41.960 I mean they at least said you this too. 0:11:42.280 --> 0:11:44.520 Yeah. Maybe that's why I was on the press list 0:11:44.559 --> 0:11:47.760 for this. So if you want to read that whole 0:11:47.880 --> 0:11:52.040 beautiful thing, beautiful document, it would not be using a 0:11:52.040 --> 0:11:56.360 Trump term. We can't use the word beautiful any Jesus. 0:11:56.840 --> 0:11:57.360 I cannot. 0:11:58.800 --> 0:12:00.600 Well, my question for you then man is like someone 0:12:00.600 --> 0:12:03.800 who like, you know, journalism is your background, and I 0:12:03.840 --> 0:12:07.360 mean it's tough reading anything right now. It's tough being 0:12:08.080 --> 0:12:11.160 present and aware and you know, up to date. How 0:12:11.280 --> 0:12:15.680 how do you handle your own mental health when you 0:12:15.720 --> 0:12:17.319 know stuff feels rough. 0:12:17.120 --> 0:12:22.840 Like this, I garden, I go to the Gaunton Darling, 0:12:23.840 --> 0:12:26.920 I escape. You know what I think the biggest it's 0:12:27.000 --> 0:12:29.040 so it's it's really hard to say this with a 0:12:29.080 --> 0:12:32.760 straight face because obviously it is incredibly difficult and challenging 0:12:32.800 --> 0:12:34.600 and the hardest work you'll ever do in your life. 0:12:34.600 --> 0:12:38.640 But having kids is sort of a cheat code if 0:12:38.640 --> 0:12:42.440 you enjoy it, because if you like, if you enjoy it, 0:12:42.480 --> 0:12:46.760 having kids is honestly the biggest cheat code for like 0:12:46.800 --> 0:12:49.959 as a coping mechanism, as a like a as an exercise, 0:12:50.000 --> 0:12:53.000 and staying present and not giving in to waves of 0:12:53.040 --> 0:12:56.280 anxiety because like the definition of anxiety is being out 0:12:56.320 --> 0:12:59.000 of the present moment. It's about thinking about what's to 0:12:59.040 --> 0:13:01.960 come and the what if send, the you know, preparing, 0:13:02.040 --> 0:13:04.640 And there's healthy levels of anxiety and then there's the 0:13:04.720 --> 0:13:07.839 excruciating levels, which I am prone to, as so many 0:13:08.240 --> 0:13:11.760 women are, especially women of color. But having kids that 0:13:11.960 --> 0:13:15.640 just at the end of the day, they cannot Like 0:13:15.720 --> 0:13:17.480 if I let them go loose in my house while 0:13:17.480 --> 0:13:20.920 I'm doom scrolling, my house will be destroyed. Everyone will 0:13:20.920 --> 0:13:23.719 be screaming at each other. I got to get them 0:13:23.720 --> 0:13:25.040 at the house. I got to go take them to 0:13:25.080 --> 0:13:26.920 the pool. And while I'm at the pool, which is 0:13:26.920 --> 0:13:29.200 what I did yesterday, I can't have my phone on me. 0:13:29.280 --> 0:13:31.360 I can't be looking you have like you literally have 0:13:31.440 --> 0:13:33.400 to be present or else they will find a way 0:13:33.400 --> 0:13:36.800 to kill themselves like it is just a fact or 0:13:36.920 --> 0:13:41.840 mortally injure themselves or someone else. So yeah, I mean 0:13:42.600 --> 0:13:44.800 so in a way, that's one way. And also just 0:13:44.880 --> 0:13:48.319 like contextualizing things from the eyes of you know what 0:13:48.360 --> 0:13:49.960 this means for my kids. So like the way I 0:13:49.960 --> 0:13:54.120 did it was thinking about how maybe I can save 0:13:54.200 --> 0:13:56.679 this to supplement their future education. Who the hell knows 0:13:56.720 --> 0:13:59.240 what kind of textbooks are going to be reading when 0:13:59.240 --> 0:14:01.840 they get to be school aged, like you know, middle 0:14:01.880 --> 0:14:03.480 school and high school age, when they start to really 0:14:03.520 --> 0:14:09.000 dive into history. So that that helps. And just knowing that, 0:14:09.080 --> 0:14:12.200 I I think that there is some there. There's a 0:14:12.200 --> 0:14:14.439 lot to argue for just sticking your head under a 0:14:14.480 --> 0:14:17.200 pillow and just sleeping all day and like you know, 0:14:17.320 --> 0:14:21.520 checking out and falling into a depression because there's just 0:14:21.600 --> 0:14:23.720 a lot to be depressed about. Let's just be honest, 0:14:24.920 --> 0:14:27.680 I just don't have that option. Like I can be depressed, 0:14:27.680 --> 0:14:31.200 but I have to be functionally depressed, and to a 0:14:31.200 --> 0:14:34.160 certain extent, forcing myself out the house even if I 0:14:34.200 --> 0:14:36.800 am really depressed, because I do still have periods of depression, 0:14:37.640 --> 0:14:41.440 but getting outside and engaging with society is something I 0:14:41.480 --> 0:14:46.800 have to do as a mother, and it helps. I'm 0:14:46.840 --> 0:14:48.040 not gonna lie. 0:14:47.760 --> 0:14:49.760 You know what that that's a good point because it 0:14:49.800 --> 0:14:52.040 is those moments where I step outside and you see 0:14:52.080 --> 0:14:52.800 other people or. 0:14:52.720 --> 0:14:55.200 You're like okay, all right, kind of kind of ground 0:14:55.280 --> 0:14:55.960 you a little bit. 0:14:55.880 --> 0:14:59.040 That you're like, okay, it's uh, it's things aren't going great, 0:14:59.120 --> 0:15:00.880 but at least you know, it's not as bad as 0:15:00.920 --> 0:15:02.680 like your mind could kind of catastrophize it, like it 0:15:02.680 --> 0:15:05.440 feels like everything is just burnt to the ground, and 0:15:05.640 --> 0:15:07.480 sometimes to kind of snap yourself out of it. Stepping 0:15:07.480 --> 0:15:09.800 outside does help, even if it feels so cliche to say, 0:15:09.800 --> 0:15:11.320 oh what, you go outside, but it kind of does 0:15:11.360 --> 0:15:12.000 help a little bit. 0:15:12.240 --> 0:15:15.880 It has to. I mean, like you have to. You 0:15:15.960 --> 0:15:18.520 have to. But that's the hardest part. It's like when 0:15:18.520 --> 0:15:22.040 you're in that state, when you are just so I mean, 0:15:22.040 --> 0:15:24.200 do y'all deal with depression at all or have you 0:15:24.240 --> 0:15:25.960 had depression in your lives? 0:15:26.320 --> 0:15:27.960 I'm not gonna lie. I have not had a ton 0:15:28.000 --> 0:15:31.560 of issues with depression. And I wonder if that's because 0:15:31.680 --> 0:15:35.280 of constantly being surrounded by people like you know how 0:15:35.280 --> 0:15:37.080 you talk about Mandy, how you don't really have a choice. 0:15:37.080 --> 0:15:38.840 You have to be You do have to be functional, 0:15:38.880 --> 0:15:40.760 whether you want to or not. Like I'm one of 0:15:40.920 --> 0:15:43.720 nine siblings, so it was if it wasn't one of 0:15:43.720 --> 0:15:45.560 my siblings, if it wasn't my mom or my dad, 0:15:45.680 --> 0:15:50.840 it was always constantly others around me, meeting me right 0:15:50.920 --> 0:15:52.840 to be present. And I feel like that just that 0:15:53.120 --> 0:15:54.960 is like my mind. In my mind, the vision that 0:15:54.960 --> 0:15:57.320 I have of myself is like the energizer bunny, Like 0:15:57.360 --> 0:15:58.400 I have no choice. 0:15:58.120 --> 0:16:00.440 To just keep going and going and going and going. 0:16:00.800 --> 0:16:03.200 If it's not personal family stuff, it's work. If it's 0:16:03.200 --> 0:16:05.240 not work, it's my own person. It's my business, or 0:16:05.240 --> 0:16:07.880 my relationship or my friends or my nieces will text me. 0:16:07.920 --> 0:16:09.920 And I just constantly feel like I'm in go go 0:16:09.920 --> 0:16:12.520 go mode, and then when I do get a chance 0:16:12.520 --> 0:16:15.520 to pause and reflect and take a break if anything, 0:16:15.520 --> 0:16:17.080 I just I'm like, I need to take a nap, 0:16:17.240 --> 0:16:19.200 Like I just need to rest. So it's just the 0:16:19.360 --> 0:16:22.440 cycle of like like literally dentergizing money. 0:16:22.160 --> 0:16:22.800 Go go, go, go go. 0:16:23.120 --> 0:16:26.840 Oh that's wonderful. Yeah, I mean I maybe there is 0:16:26.880 --> 0:16:29.360 something to that. It sounds right, I mean having good 0:16:29.400 --> 0:16:33.200 healthy family dynamics or at least you know so. And 0:16:33.240 --> 0:16:36.800 I know there's no all perfect family, but still. 0:16:36.840 --> 0:16:40.320 Right absolutely not to say there's no chaos, no drama, 0:16:41.440 --> 0:16:44.800 no toxicity, just in terms of me dealing with it internally, 0:16:45.080 --> 0:16:46.920 not a lot of depression on my part. 0:16:48.000 --> 0:16:49.520 Yeah, blessed. 0:16:49.560 --> 0:16:52.120 I would say I've never, like like not clinically you know, 0:16:52.440 --> 0:16:54.800 diagnosed with depression. But I know I've definitely dealt with 0:16:54.840 --> 0:16:57.560 anxiety for most of my life, and then I've definitely 0:16:57.560 --> 0:16:59.200 appeared in time when I was like, I don't know 0:16:59.200 --> 0:17:02.560 if I'm depressed. This kind of feels like it it 0:17:02.560 --> 0:17:03.920 can be hard to snap yourself out of it. 0:17:03.960 --> 0:17:05.720 I think it's been a year since I was in 0:17:05.880 --> 0:17:07.920 LA and I think at that time, weren't you just 0:17:08.000 --> 0:17:11.600 kind of coming out of a like a, well, no, 0:17:11.640 --> 0:17:13.639 you had like done your fitness journey and stuff by that. 0:17:13.720 --> 0:17:15.280 I don't know, but it felt. 0:17:15.080 --> 0:17:16.399 Like it was at the start of it kind of 0:17:16.440 --> 0:17:17.159 like breaking out of it. 0:17:17.160 --> 0:17:19.439 Like I got like really down and kind of like 0:17:19.520 --> 0:17:21.320 especially I think it is that that isolation like you 0:17:21.440 --> 0:17:23.520 were talking about, like I was, you know, living by 0:17:23.560 --> 0:17:25.760 myself at that point, and you know you kind of 0:17:25.760 --> 0:17:27.800 like I was started therapy already and I was kind 0:17:27.800 --> 0:17:29.480 of I think that sometimes it's that there's that period 0:17:29.480 --> 0:17:31.080 of time where you're in therapy and you got to 0:17:31.160 --> 0:17:33.000 like really dig it into some stuff you don't want 0:17:33.040 --> 0:17:35.200 to talk about, and then you really had to face 0:17:35.240 --> 0:17:36.800 a lot of parts of yourself. And I think that's 0:17:36.800 --> 0:17:38.679 where I was like really like, oh god, you know, 0:17:39.800 --> 0:17:41.200 how's this going. You know, I don't want to I 0:17:41.240 --> 0:17:43.160 don't really want to go do things. I didn't really 0:17:43.160 --> 0:17:44.440 want to hang out that much. I was just like, 0:17:44.520 --> 0:17:46.520 you know, just you just kinda stay inside way too much. 0:17:46.840 --> 0:17:48.560 And I was in that phase kind of breaking out, 0:17:48.560 --> 0:17:50.040 and then I hang out with you many like that helped. 0:17:50.119 --> 0:17:51.480 Like we went outside. I had to go on a 0:17:51.560 --> 0:17:53.199 hike with you and almost fall off the side of 0:17:53.200 --> 0:17:54.000 a cliff. 0:17:53.720 --> 0:17:56.920 And wow, I made you get up so early? Oh 0:17:56.960 --> 0:17:58.840 my god, did I save you? Was it me? Was 0:17:58.880 --> 0:17:59.760 the idea? 0:17:59.880 --> 0:18:03.280 I'm not giving you that credit. I would not give it. 0:18:04.080 --> 0:18:07.119 Who needs antidepressives and you got Maddy as a friend. 0:18:07.440 --> 0:18:09.840 No. But that was perfect for me too, because I 0:18:09.880 --> 0:18:11.959 was just coming out of postpartum, like I had been 0:18:11.960 --> 0:18:14.600 a year, and that was my first trip by myself 0:18:14.640 --> 0:18:16.440 to have my whole brain to myself. I was so 0:18:16.480 --> 0:18:20.800 excited to just like I was giddy to be out 0:18:20.800 --> 0:18:23.720 there and like be communicating with people and you know, 0:18:23.880 --> 0:18:25.639 working on my book and all that. So oh, I 0:18:25.680 --> 0:18:28.119