WEBVTT - Working Towards Change 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:04.280 Hell, I Suck at Dating with Dean Angler and Dared 0:00:04.360 --> 0:00:11.560 Haven and I heard radio podcast. Hello everyone, welcome to help. 0:00:11.600 --> 0:00:15.520 I Suck at Dating. I am Jared Haven, joined always 0:00:15.520 --> 0:00:19.560 by Dean. That is Dean Anglert coming somewhere from the 0:00:19.560 --> 0:00:22.560 beach close by. You're recording from your van. I am 0:00:22.600 --> 0:00:24.280 in my van. I am not at the beach though, 0:00:24.280 --> 0:00:27.000 I'm at a lake. Okay, because you said waves, we 0:00:27.080 --> 0:00:29.800 might hear waves in the background. Yeah, there's like, well 0:00:29.800 --> 0:00:32.239 it's a big lake, so there's like, you know, I 0:00:32.280 --> 0:00:37.599 was about to say, that's some lake, giant waves crashing in. UM. 0:00:37.640 --> 0:00:42.640 So obviously we are a podcast that mostly talks about 0:00:42.720 --> 0:00:46.159 the world of dating. UM. I think Dean and I 0:00:46.240 --> 0:00:50.080 like to think of us as an escape podcast where 0:00:50.159 --> 0:00:54.800 you guys laugh with us, probably more accurately at US. UM. 0:00:54.840 --> 0:00:59.200 But UM. Of course, both Dean myself want to talk 0:00:59.200 --> 0:01:04.320 about everything that's kind of currently happening in the world. UM. 0:01:04.400 --> 0:01:07.200 It's it's impossible to ignore and we don't want to 0:01:07.240 --> 0:01:11.080 ignore it. UM. Dean has been vocal on social media, 0:01:11.160 --> 0:01:13.400 so have I, and I think we both have thoughts 0:01:13.400 --> 0:01:18.959 about it. UM and UH. We have drs Major, who 0:01:19.000 --> 0:01:23.319 we've had on before he's um for a marriage boot camp. Uh, 0:01:23.360 --> 0:01:26.200 and we will also have Jubilee. Jubilee from the Bachelor 0:01:26.280 --> 0:01:30.640 franchise will also be on the podcast later on. But first, 0:01:31.080 --> 0:01:33.800 I think, uh, it's probably appropriate Dean if you and 0:01:33.840 --> 0:01:39.679 I um kind of give our opening thoughts about what's 0:01:39.840 --> 0:01:43.360 happening in the world right now. UM. I think for me, 0:01:43.720 --> 0:01:47.640 it's just it sucks, you know. I mean, I don't 0:01:47.640 --> 0:01:49.200 think there's any other way for me to put it. 0:01:49.240 --> 0:01:54.400 Besides it just it sucks that we're here, that that 0:01:54.440 --> 0:02:01.320 we're at a point where the pro test uh and 0:02:01.400 --> 0:02:06.480 everything it had to happen, it was coming to a head. Um, 0:02:06.560 --> 0:02:12.320 and UM, it's it's it's disheartening. There's a lot of moments, 0:02:12.400 --> 0:02:14.800 there's a lot of there's a lot of inspiration out there, 0:02:14.840 --> 0:02:18.000 people coming together all across the country, all across the world, 0:02:18.360 --> 0:02:21.639 coming together for a common cause, the right cause, uh, 0:02:21.680 --> 0:02:27.440 to stop racism, to stop police brutality towards the black community. UM. 0:02:27.680 --> 0:02:30.040 But for me, I think it's just disheartening that that 0:02:30.960 --> 0:02:33.240 it took so long that we had to get to 0:02:33.320 --> 0:02:36.400 this point in order for it to happen. Yeah, I 0:02:36.440 --> 0:02:39.880 mean I echo most of that as well. I think 0:02:40.000 --> 0:02:43.880 we're in obviously a situation where we're kind of you know, 0:02:44.080 --> 0:02:47.320 we're not directly affected by this because we are white. 0:02:47.800 --> 0:02:51.560 H And everything that we see is uh, you know, 0:02:52.040 --> 0:02:54.760 people of color, black people specifically, and honestly, I think 0:02:54.760 --> 0:02:58.560 it's like the fact that the events that were necessary 0:02:58.600 --> 0:03:02.600 to get us here obviously are terrible, uh An you'redeemable, 0:03:02.880 --> 0:03:05.880 but the fact that now it's like the you know, 0:03:05.960 --> 0:03:11.000 people are finally rising up and protesting uh for obviously 0:03:11.040 --> 0:03:14.080 hopefully peacefully more than anything else, which isn't always the case. 0:03:14.160 --> 0:03:17.120 But it's nice that change is finally taking place too. 0:03:17.160 --> 0:03:22.720 And with the stuff you know regarding um, some of 0:03:22.720 --> 0:03:26.280 these murders, it's like the murderers themselves are finally getting charged, 0:03:26.320 --> 0:03:30.000 Like those four cops are are getting charged more appropriately now, 0:03:30.040 --> 0:03:32.040 I think because of these protests. And so it's like 0:03:32.080 --> 0:03:35.440 it's nice to see change coming about because of people 0:03:35.480 --> 0:03:38.600 finally putting their foot down and uh and enacting some 0:03:38.680 --> 0:03:41.480 of that change. Uh. You know, like we said, or 0:03:41.520 --> 0:03:44.600 like I said earlier, sometimes it becomes un peaceful, and 0:03:44.600 --> 0:03:46.800 you hate to see that, but again, you know, it's 0:03:46.800 --> 0:03:49.360 just in order for the for there to be like 0:03:49.760 --> 0:03:54.000 monumental institutional change. It needs to be great action taken um, 0:03:54.040 --> 0:03:59.680 and that comes with the protests. Uh. And it's yeah, yeah, 0:03:59.760 --> 0:04:03.200 it's crazy to see. It's just like man um keeps 0:04:03.200 --> 0:04:05.760 throwing these curveballs, not just at at at one group 0:04:05.800 --> 0:04:07.600 of people, but everyone. It seems like, you know, everyone 0:04:07.640 --> 0:04:10.600 in America is affected by this right now. Uh. Hope 0:04:10.640 --> 0:04:13.200 hopefully has long term effects, long term positive effects. It's 0:04:13.240 --> 0:04:15.960 my my one, like pet peeve or caveat with this 0:04:16.000 --> 0:04:18.280 type of stuff is you know, we haven't seen that. 0:04:18.480 --> 0:04:20.480 We haven't We've already seen this before. I guess that's 0:04:20.480 --> 0:04:24.560 what I'm saying. We've seen these protests, We've seen these um. 0:04:24.960 --> 0:04:28.680 I don't think we've seen anything like this before institutional change. 0:04:28.720 --> 0:04:30.400 I mean you could go back to like the l 0:04:30.400 --> 0:04:32.880 A Riots of whatever the nineties and even back to 0:04:32.920 --> 0:04:35.800 the to the fifties, uh in Alabama and like that. 0:04:35.880 --> 0:04:39.719 But I'm sorry for my language, but uh, I guess 0:04:39.760 --> 0:04:43.480 my my hope is that it's not just uh okay, 0:04:43.600 --> 0:04:45.159 that was a week ago and now let's kind of 0:04:45.160 --> 0:04:46.880 move because that's you know, our attention spans are so 0:04:46.960 --> 0:04:50.839 short in everything, with everything in life. UM, so hopefully 0:04:50.839 --> 0:04:53.080 this is finally the one that's like, Okay, this is 0:04:53.120 --> 0:04:54.960 going to keep things front of mine for a long time, 0:04:55.400 --> 0:04:59.520 enough time to actually institute change into the you know, 0:04:59.640 --> 0:05:03.000 into this system is institutionally whatever it is. Yeah, but 0:05:03.040 --> 0:05:06.359 that means that means to be obviously No, I I agree. 0:05:06.360 --> 0:05:09.359 I mean it's just I also mean disheartening by the 0:05:09.400 --> 0:05:14.560 amount of footage that you see, um from cops just 0:05:15.440 --> 0:05:21.480 brutally going after some of these protesters, and it's just 0:05:21.839 --> 0:05:25.080 it's overwhelming. It's sad. I think we need a huge 0:05:25.080 --> 0:05:28.000 discussion about policing in general. Um. Not to say there 0:05:28.040 --> 0:05:30.080 aren't good cops out there. I don't want to make 0:05:30.120 --> 0:05:35.480 this a cop bashing uh spiel, but there are obviously 0:05:36.080 --> 0:05:38.760 a lot of bad people who are cops. There's a 0:05:38.800 --> 0:05:40.719 lot of great people that are cops. You know. I 0:05:40.760 --> 0:05:45.280 have family and friends, um that that serve and protecting. 0:05:45.279 --> 0:05:48.200 They're good people and they do their job right. But 0:05:48.279 --> 0:05:50.040 as we've seen, and as we've known for a very 0:05:50.080 --> 0:05:53.919 long time, there's a lot of racism, and uh, it 0:05:54.080 --> 0:05:58.040 is institutionalized and it's ingrained in our society, and it 0:05:58.120 --> 0:06:02.080 has to change and it has to end. Um. And 0:06:02.240 --> 0:06:05.960 you know, I kind of look introspectively at my own 0:06:06.279 --> 0:06:08.400 white privilege because we talked about you know, you and 0:06:08.440 --> 0:06:11.719 I both white, um, both like you know, middle class, 0:06:12.680 --> 0:06:16.480 and uh, you know, we've never whenever the cops show up, 0:06:16.720 --> 0:06:19.400 we feel safe. You know, I feel safer when the 0:06:19.440 --> 0:06:23.159 cops show up. I could never imagine a situation where 0:06:24.080 --> 0:06:26.760 I would be out of place and the cops would 0:06:26.800 --> 0:06:29.719 be there and I would feel more in danger. And unfortunately, 0:06:30.520 --> 0:06:32.800 that's a reality of black people. You know, what black 0:06:32.839 --> 0:06:35.719 people have to go through, um to be like, is 0:06:35.760 --> 0:06:37.680 this you know, is this cop gonna put a knee 0:06:37.680 --> 0:06:41.040 in my neck? And that's a sad, sad reality. And 0:06:41.080 --> 0:06:43.200 I think, you know, as a sports fan, I think 0:06:43.200 --> 0:06:45.240 about what Colin Kaepernick did a few years ago and 0:06:45.279 --> 0:06:48.880 how people just completely misconstrued what he was doing. And 0:06:48.880 --> 0:06:51.159 it was frustrating back then, and I wish I had 0:06:51.240 --> 0:06:56.920 more of of just frankly courage to articulate my thoughts 0:06:56.920 --> 0:06:59.840 because I was, uh, you know, as someone even for me, 0:06:59.880 --> 0:07:02.239 I stand for the national anthem, but I would never 0:07:02.400 --> 0:07:05.800 tell someone that they couldn't peacefully protest or or or 0:07:05.839 --> 0:07:09.279 they wouldn't have the right to kneel, you know, in 0:07:09.360 --> 0:07:13.800 protests of police brutality towards the black community. Um, And 0:07:13.880 --> 0:07:16.400 so you know, I wish I spoke up more back then, 0:07:16.480 --> 0:07:18.840 but now, you know, it just feels like And the 0:07:18.880 --> 0:07:21.200 reason I'm saying that is because, of course today I 0:07:21.200 --> 0:07:22.920 don't know if he saw the comments by Drew Brees, 0:07:23.000 --> 0:07:27.120 but uh, he just of course they asked him if they, 0:07:27.280 --> 0:07:29.080 you know, because of these protests, do you think kneeling 0:07:29.080 --> 0:07:31.520 will kermore in the NFL again this year? And then 0:07:31.520 --> 0:07:34.960 he I was saying that, you know, he doesn't agree 0:07:35.000 --> 0:07:39.119 with people who kneel, um, you know, because in his mind, 0:07:39.160 --> 0:07:42.440 it's you know, uh, pretty much spitting on the flag. 0:07:42.640 --> 0:07:45.240 And you know, he talked about his own experience when 0:07:45.280 --> 0:07:47.680 he listens to the national anthem and he listens to 0:07:48.920 --> 0:07:50.480 you know, that song being played and he has a 0:07:50.480 --> 0:07:52.440 hand over his heart and he thinks about his grandfathers 0:07:52.480 --> 0:07:55.200 and his great grandfathers and everything they fought for for 0:07:55.320 --> 0:07:58.080 his rights and his freedoms. And while he's not wrong, 0:07:58.600 --> 0:08:00.400 why don't you think of the Black commune to and 0:08:00.400 --> 0:08:04.680 what they're great grandfathers and grandfathers who fought alongside yours 0:08:04.800 --> 0:08:07.480 had to endure back then, you know, because they fought 0:08:07.520 --> 0:08:09.560 for a country and when they got back, they got 0:08:09.600 --> 0:08:12.680 back to segregation, you know, and I think as someone 0:08:12.680 --> 0:08:14.760 as a white person, you just don't think about that, right, 0:08:15.280 --> 0:08:17.960 you know, and not to say that your great grandfather, 0:08:18.040 --> 0:08:21.360 your grandfather didn't you know, didn't fight, or that they're 0:08:21.400 --> 0:08:23.800 horrible people. But you also have to just not make 0:08:23.840 --> 0:08:25.360 it about yourself right now. And I think that's what 0:08:25.400 --> 0:08:27.760 I'm trying to do, is just not make it by myself, 0:08:27.920 --> 0:08:30.440 even though all I'm doing is talking right now. So 0:08:30.600 --> 0:08:33.280 it seems counterintuitive, but I guess having a podcast, that's 0:08:33.320 --> 0:08:35.360 what we're supposed to do. But well that I think 0:08:35.400 --> 0:08:37.840 about this podcast and what I'm excited for it is 0:08:37.920 --> 0:08:39.920 it's not just gonna be two stupid white dudes talking 0:08:39.960 --> 0:08:41.920 the entire time. We are going to have, like you said, 0:08:42.000 --> 0:08:43.960 dr Ish, who is a black man, come on his 0:08:44.320 --> 0:08:48.000 on the podcast and share his thoughts. Um. You know, 0:08:48.160 --> 0:08:50.240 he he has been on like you said before, and 0:08:50.280 --> 0:08:56.000 he uh works primarily in the dating realm. But the 0:08:57.200 --> 0:08:59.319 he's still gonna, I I imagine, he's still gonna have 0:08:59.360 --> 0:09:00.960 some very insightfuling things to do. And that's what's gonna 0:09:00.960 --> 0:09:02.760 be great about it is we we can just shut 0:09:02.840 --> 0:09:05.160 up and listen because we don't have to. We don't 0:09:05.160 --> 0:09:08.040 have the ability to to put ourselves in his shoes 0:09:08.200 --> 0:09:11.280 or another black man's shoes, So it'd be nice and 0:09:11.920 --> 0:09:16.199 hopefully informative educational. But I think we have him on 0:09:16.240 --> 0:09:18.559 the phone before we before we jump onto the phone 0:09:18.559 --> 0:09:21.240 with him though, Um, should we take a quick break 0:09:21.240 --> 0:09:23.600 and then we'll get back to it. That sounds great 0:09:23.600 --> 0:09:36.840 to me, man, I'll be back all right. Welcome back 0:09:36.840 --> 0:09:38.560 to help I suck at dating. We have a great 0:09:38.600 --> 0:09:40.920 guest is currently on the line right now. You of 0:09:40.960 --> 0:09:43.960 course know him for marriage boot Camp. It is doctor 0:09:44.160 --> 0:09:47.000 is major Doctor. Thank you so much for joining us again. 0:09:47.040 --> 0:09:49.800 We really appreciate it, appreciate you guys having me back. Man, 0:09:49.800 --> 0:09:52.760 I hope you're all doing well. We're doing We're doing well. 0:09:52.760 --> 0:09:54.800 How are you doing? How are you doing during this time? 0:09:55.440 --> 0:09:58.120 You know, a friend of mine asking me this question, 0:09:58.520 --> 0:10:02.000 um a week or so go, and it really it 0:10:02.080 --> 0:10:04.959 really caught me off guard because normally my my answer 0:10:05.000 --> 0:10:07.640 as the doctor, and it's like ACTU said, I'm doing fine, 0:10:07.760 --> 0:10:10.559 let's focus on you, you know, um. But when they 0:10:10.600 --> 0:10:12.240 asked me that, I was like, wow, you know, I 0:10:12.320 --> 0:10:15.920 was like, actually today I wasn't I wasn't doing that great. 0:10:16.160 --> 0:10:19.120 You know, because I grew up, I grew up or 0:10:19.200 --> 0:10:21.760 in black and South Carolina, and so all of the 0:10:21.800 --> 0:10:23.720 things that go along with that. And I'm kind of 0:10:23.720 --> 0:10:27.439 recounting in my head all of the all of the 0:10:27.480 --> 0:10:31.720 near misses, you know, all of those, all of those 0:10:31.760 --> 0:10:34.840 stops that that weren't as routine as they could have been. 0:10:34.920 --> 0:10:36.920 And how about to share grace of God, I kind 0:10:36.920 --> 0:10:38.720 of made it out and all of those and and 0:10:38.800 --> 0:10:42.520 so it's like, um that the the idea of a 0:10:42.559 --> 0:10:45.880 group trauma is real. And so when somebody else goes 0:10:45.920 --> 0:10:48.360 through something similar, you know, you you can't help but 0:10:48.440 --> 0:10:51.120 think about, Wow, you know I was there too, and 0:10:51.200 --> 0:10:53.280 something as real as what's been going on this last week. 0:10:53.360 --> 0:10:55.400 You really kind of made me stop and kind of 0:10:55.480 --> 0:10:57.720 reprocessed some of that. And so it's it's a there's 0:10:57.760 --> 0:11:02.199 a lot happening, you know. Yeah, it's overwhelming. Uh. And 0:11:02.360 --> 0:11:07.040 you know, uh, as as a white person, I've been 0:11:07.080 --> 0:11:10.360 looking introspectively at myself and and and you know, figure 0:11:10.440 --> 0:11:13.040 out you know, how I feel about everything, and it's 0:11:13.080 --> 0:11:15.720 just it seems like day after day, you know, getting 0:11:15.760 --> 0:11:19.679 hit with something else and something new. Um, and uh, 0:11:19.679 --> 0:11:22.320 but it's it was certainly you know I said at 0:11:22.320 --> 0:11:25.800 the beginning of the podcast, it's it sucks that we're 0:11:25.840 --> 0:11:28.559 at this point. But also and and Dean reflected these 0:11:28.559 --> 0:11:32.800 thoughts as well. Um, I'm glad it's happening, the protests, 0:11:32.840 --> 0:11:35.760 the peaceful protests, like and it's inspiring to see all 0:11:35.800 --> 0:11:39.440 around the country. Um, and that's something you know you've 0:11:39.440 --> 0:11:43.760 seen in Los Angeles, Boston, Providence, Chicago, New York. Uh. 0:11:43.880 --> 0:11:46.480 Down you know, I'm trying to think of down South protest, 0:11:46.559 --> 0:11:50.480 but I know there's been hundreds Atlanta and Atlanta, and 0:11:51.320 --> 0:11:54.880 not just and not just here, they're protesting new zeilings 0:11:55.120 --> 0:11:59.160 in Germany, in Paris. It's like, hey, it's a human thing. 0:11:59.400 --> 0:12:01.280 At the end of a day, it's a human thing. 0:12:01.520 --> 0:12:03.240 And I heard you mentioned in earlier it's it's a 0:12:03.280 --> 0:12:06.079 perfect storm. Right. So we've got we're coming out of 0:12:06.400 --> 0:12:10.240 we're in the midst of this pandemic. I can't leave home. Uh, 0:12:10.320 --> 0:12:12.480 some of those places and people and things that I 0:12:12.640 --> 0:12:15.480 have grown comfortable with, I can't have access to. And 0:12:15.520 --> 0:12:19.080 now we add to that for those of us who 0:12:19.280 --> 0:12:21.480 had to had to take the economic here. Right, So 0:12:21.520 --> 0:12:23.719 now not only do I not have access, but even 0:12:23.760 --> 0:12:26.079 if I did have access, money is not coming in 0:12:26.160 --> 0:12:28.679 luck it used to. And then on top of this 0:12:28.760 --> 0:12:31.040 we got got the George Floyd stuff and so it 0:12:31.120 --> 0:12:33.439 was the perfect storm. The powder keg. Everything just grow 0:12:33.480 --> 0:12:37.000 over and it's like everybody's house is on fire and 0:12:37.120 --> 0:12:40.440 burning down, you know. And so this is one of 0:12:40.480 --> 0:12:44.240 those times where your house is on fire. What's the 0:12:44.240 --> 0:12:47.480 first thing you do? You look to protect from that 0:12:47.559 --> 0:12:52.240 the most valuable? Right? Yeah, family? Who who Who's in 0:12:52.240 --> 0:12:54.280 the house. Let's make sure we get out. Okay, Okay, 0:12:54.320 --> 0:12:56.559 what else do I need that it's a value? Okay, 0:12:56.600 --> 0:12:58.960 car keys because I'm need to go someplace. Wallet, money, 0:12:59.080 --> 0:13:02.160 gonna need that. Well, you look, you grabble into those 0:13:02.200 --> 0:13:03.800 things that are value but that you can carry with 0:13:03.840 --> 0:13:06.200 you and carry close. So I think we've all been 0:13:07.040 --> 0:13:09.960 realizing that the human thread that runs through all of 0:13:10.000 --> 0:13:12.199 this is that we are really starting to realize what 0:13:12.280 --> 0:13:14.400 are those things that are that I value with like 0:13:14.720 --> 0:13:16.800 and why you know, Like I said, you know, and 0:13:16.840 --> 0:13:19.520 that's a that's a conversation you don't really have with 0:13:19.600 --> 0:13:21.599 other folks who look like you and think like you. 0:13:21.679 --> 0:13:23.959 That's a conversation to have with yourself and then see 0:13:24.000 --> 0:13:29.640 how you come out on the other side. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 0:13:29.679 --> 0:13:32.040 and dr as you are in Atlanta, right, I'm close. 0:13:32.120 --> 0:13:34.360 I mean I mean Greenville, an upstate in South Carolina, 0:13:34.480 --> 0:13:36.640 so about two hours from Atlanta. And I know you 0:13:36.720 --> 0:13:39.800 mentioned there have been some protests over there. We've you know, uh, 0:13:39.920 --> 0:13:41.520 in l A. We've been seeing our fair share of 0:13:41.559 --> 0:13:46.200 the protests as well. Um, what what are your thoughts 0:13:46.200 --> 0:13:48.400 on all that stuff? So, I mean, obviously it's great 0:13:48.400 --> 0:13:51.800 to get out there peacefully protest. And it seems like 0:13:52.160 --> 0:13:53.880 Jared I talked to a little bit about this before 0:13:53.920 --> 0:13:56.960 we had you to hop on, it seems like this, uh, 0:13:57.040 --> 0:13:58.719 this time around, because it's not the first time we've 0:13:58.720 --> 0:14:02.400 seen these peaceful protests for racial justice, racial equality, all 0:14:02.400 --> 0:14:04.000 that kind of stuff, but it seems like this one 0:14:04.080 --> 0:14:07.000 is a little bit, uh, there's more going on with 0:14:07.080 --> 0:14:10.200 it this time, right, So you know, from your perspective, 0:14:10.720 --> 0:14:13.839 what are your thoughts on? I guess that whole whole realm, 0:14:13.920 --> 0:14:16.959 the whole thing that's going on, just the protests in general, 0:14:17.000 --> 0:14:19.720 and how they compared to the past protests. Yeah, I 0:14:19.760 --> 0:14:23.320 think if we look at the history, right, um, at 0:14:23.320 --> 0:14:26.480 the history of where we've come as a country, and 0:14:26.480 --> 0:14:29.400 and and some of the dark beginnings obviously when we 0:14:29.400 --> 0:14:31.760 talk about your slavery than Jim Crow and you know, 0:14:31.760 --> 0:14:33.840 and some of the things that that that you guys 0:14:33.840 --> 0:14:36.720 could do that I couldn't back there. Um, you know, 0:14:37.400 --> 0:14:39.800 so the first protests there were ten people, and then 0:14:39.840 --> 0:14:42.080 the second protests there were thirty, and then the fourth 0:14:42.080 --> 0:14:43.720 they were fifty. If you look at the protests in 0:14:43.760 --> 0:14:46.680 the six weeks there was you know, there were hundreds, 0:14:46.680 --> 0:14:50.120 if not thousands, but most of them, most of us 0:14:50.120 --> 0:14:52.920 back then had the same colored skin. If you look 0:14:52.920 --> 0:14:55.520 at the protests to you know, in in the nineties, 0:14:55.520 --> 0:14:57.400 and you know when when things started jumping off in 0:14:57.480 --> 0:15:00.400 ninety two in l a same kind difference, little more 0:15:00.440 --> 0:15:03.600 aware and said, you look like, now it's everybody out there. Man, 0:15:03.640 --> 0:15:07.560 it's it's men, it's women, it's black folks, it's white folks, 0:15:07.600 --> 0:15:12.040 it's older folks, it's younger folks. Because, like Matt Jared mentioned, 0:15:12.080 --> 0:15:15.680 with this perfect storm, the one thing that we are 0:15:15.960 --> 0:15:18.600 all thinking about now is how very human and how 0:15:18.680 --> 0:15:21.720 very connected we all are. Right, the thing that affects 0:15:21.760 --> 0:15:25.800 me affects you. COVID nineteen drove that point home. If 0:15:25.840 --> 0:15:28.480 I don't wear a mask, I could hurt you. Hey, 0:15:28.560 --> 0:15:30.640 if I'm not being If I'm not as aware as 0:15:30.680 --> 0:15:32.960 I need to be, not only is gonna hurt me, 0:15:33.000 --> 0:15:35.000 but it could affect the guy next to me. And 0:15:35.040 --> 0:15:38.720 so I think that's the difference. It's the differences in 0:15:38.760 --> 0:15:41.240 the amount of numbers, the amount of awareness. Thank God 0:15:41.280 --> 0:15:44.840 for social media, thank God for cameras with phones, and 0:15:44.920 --> 0:15:49.680 so it's harder to escape the reality in retreat back 0:15:49.720 --> 0:15:52.840 to our favorite place and our favorite coups. Right in 0:15:52.920 --> 0:15:55.480 nineteen sixty five, we would have known about this. We 0:15:55.520 --> 0:15:57.520 would have heard about it, maybe on the news, but 0:15:57.600 --> 0:15:59.400 we wouldn't have had the image, we wouldn't have had 0:15:59.840 --> 0:16:02.680 the visual that goes with it, and everybody wouldn't know 0:16:02.720 --> 0:16:05.680 it at the same time. And so that's the difference. Man. 0:16:05.680 --> 0:16:08.360 It's just it's just a matter of being aware. Um, 0:16:08.400 --> 0:16:11.600 it's a matter of being aware and being willing to 0:16:11.760 --> 0:16:13.960 not look away and saying, hey, you know what, I 0:16:14.240 --> 0:16:16.320 may not know what to do about it, I may 0:16:16.360 --> 0:16:19.040 not know how to fix it, but yeah, that's messed up, 0:16:20.080 --> 0:16:22.640 an you take the next thing step. Yeah. I have 0:16:22.680 --> 0:16:27.640 a love hate relationship with Twitter because I mostly say 0:16:27.680 --> 0:16:29.880 I don't like Twitter because it just seems like it's 0:16:29.920 --> 0:16:32.920 all arguments and hate, and you never get anything accomplished 0:16:32.920 --> 0:16:35.280 because one person is saying one thing and another person 0:16:35.360 --> 0:16:37.960 is arguing with another thing, and they just do counterpoint 0:16:37.960 --> 0:16:40.760 after counterpoint and nobody ever agrees on anything. But then 0:16:41.520 --> 0:16:45.120 situations like this happened, where what what would have happened 0:16:45.160 --> 0:16:49.160 if that George Floyd video never came out? Nothing? Well, 0:16:49.200 --> 0:16:51.360 even even the mont are very thing like that, the 0:16:52.680 --> 0:16:54.880 thing that the murder of a mond arevery that happened 0:16:54.880 --> 0:16:57.120 in February and it didn't get any traction or recognition 0:16:57.200 --> 0:17:00.520 until April because some actually you know, own the video 0:17:00.560 --> 0:17:02.560 and uncovered it and started sharing it. And that's that's 0:17:02.600 --> 0:17:04.280 the power of social media, I guess. And what's what's 0:17:04.280 --> 0:17:07.080 crazy to think too is I've been thinking this a 0:17:07.080 --> 0:17:09.760 little bit. Is the protest now are crazy that people 0:17:09.840 --> 0:17:13.240 turning out in incredible numbers, uh, And that's with the 0:17:13.280 --> 0:17:15.600 pandemic going on, Like there are still people that are 0:17:15.600 --> 0:17:17.560 that are scared to leave their house that would be 0:17:17.640 --> 0:17:20.480 at the protests if the pandemic wasn't happening, which would 0:17:21.200 --> 0:17:23.720 even uh bolster the numbers even more. It's just I 0:17:23.760 --> 0:17:25.560 don't know, it's crazy that the amount of I guess 0:17:25.960 --> 0:17:29.359 the the the activism is, uh, you know, there'll always 0:17:29.359 --> 0:17:32.439 be more, and I think we could always wish for 0:17:32.520 --> 0:17:35.480 like more to be happening. But the fact that there 0:17:35.480 --> 0:17:38.200 are there do seem to be so many activists this time. Um, 0:17:38.400 --> 0:17:40.640 And as you said, Dr, is the numbers continue to grow, 0:17:40.680 --> 0:17:44.240 start at ten and twenty fifty d um. So that's 0:17:44.400 --> 0:17:46.440 it's always a good thing, you know, it's it's it's 0:17:46.520 --> 0:17:49.240 change takes time and it's not gonna happen overnight. But 0:17:50.359 --> 0:17:52.480 from this, from this perspective, it's nice to see. And 0:17:52.520 --> 0:17:54.439 the other thing and the other thing, Dean. The other thing, 0:17:54.480 --> 0:17:57.480 guys is, look at the look at the amount of 0:17:57.520 --> 0:18:00.560 young people who are out there, right. But young young 0:18:00.600 --> 0:18:03.520 folks are like, listen, you know, we we play sports together, 0:18:03.560 --> 0:18:05.880 we go to school together, we are we're we're all 0:18:05.920 --> 0:18:08.800 in these things. Clubs we share together, we play soccer together. 0:18:08.880 --> 0:18:11.280 We date, you know, we date each other. And so 0:18:11.359 --> 0:18:15.200 this is, you know, it's it's it's a lot harder 0:18:15.400 --> 0:18:18.440 to convince them that there's something different about each other 0:18:18.440 --> 0:18:20.240 than it was to convince us of that three or 0:18:20.240 --> 0:18:23.040 for years. Dr. I. We also want to you know, 0:18:23.200 --> 0:18:25.800 everybody wants to be more aware, and everybody wants to 0:18:25.840 --> 0:18:29.800 help as much as they can. So what resources, Um, 0:18:29.880 --> 0:18:31.560 is there any resources that you can share with us 0:18:31.600 --> 0:18:35.320 that you think would really help. Absolutely? Absolutely, that's the 0:18:36.280 --> 0:18:39.800 This is the this is the hard conversation that we 0:18:39.840 --> 0:18:42.520 never want to have, right, We've all got we've all 0:18:42.560 --> 0:18:44.399 got white friends and black friends and Asian friends and 0:18:44.440 --> 0:18:47.320 Indian friends. But you know, there are certain conversations we 0:18:47.359 --> 0:18:50.159 typically avoid, and so this is this is one of 0:18:50.240 --> 0:18:53.639 those hard conversations. But like every hard conversation, it's not 0:18:53.680 --> 0:18:56.199 as hard as you think, if there's a willingness to 0:18:56.400 --> 0:18:59.639 just go there and understand. It's like in relationships, guys. 0:19:01.040 --> 0:19:03.240 People don't get into trouble in their relationships because they 0:19:03.280 --> 0:19:05.680 don't know how to resolve the issue. People get into 0:19:05.680 --> 0:19:09.120 trouble in their relationships because you never acknowledged the issue 0:19:09.160 --> 0:19:12.280 in the first place. Just you hearing me and me 0:19:12.480 --> 0:19:15.840 hearing you. We may not ever agree, but just in 0:19:15.960 --> 0:19:20.159 knowing that you were heard goes towards the way of 0:19:20.240 --> 0:19:24.679 fixing the problems. So a great resource is YouTube and 0:19:24.800 --> 0:19:28.680 go to YouTube. And if you're a white, black, brown, Asian, blue, purple, 0:19:28.720 --> 0:19:31.199 whatever you are, go to YouTube and type in the 0:19:31.320 --> 0:19:36.760 name Jane Elliott and spend the next thirty minutes listen 0:19:36.800 --> 0:19:42.159 to this woman educate us and really dive deep on 0:19:42.320 --> 0:19:44.760 just pointing out some of the things that are around us, 0:19:44.760 --> 0:19:46.680 like dustinate here, but that we never see. She was 0:19:46.720 --> 0:19:51.560 an amazing educator, brilliant woman, but um older Caucasian woman, 0:19:51.600 --> 0:19:55.840 but her insights into race in America and what we 0:19:55.920 --> 0:19:59.720 can do right, because it's like, for for us, right, 0:20:00.000 --> 0:20:02.720 the black folks were in the water and we're in 0:20:02.760 --> 0:20:06.800 the river and we're drowning, and it's like somebody helped me, right, 0:20:07.080 --> 0:20:09.240 So Jared, you and Dean come by in the boat 0:20:09.520 --> 0:20:12.040 and you're like, hey, that guy's drowning. Let's throw my 0:20:12.119 --> 0:20:16.240 life safe. Great, great, now I'm not drowning, but don't 0:20:16.320 --> 0:20:19.480 drive off, give me right, put me in the boat, 0:20:19.680 --> 0:20:22.199 give me out of Hey, could you just give me 0:20:22.240 --> 0:20:24.880 back to shore, you know? And so for me, and 0:20:25.080 --> 0:20:27.199 so for the folks who are feeling it right, who 0:20:27.240 --> 0:20:30.280 are feeling really threatened, what you can do is never enough. 0:20:30.640 --> 0:20:33.640 And then for the folks who aren't feeling threatened, it's 0:20:33.680 --> 0:20:35.800 like what I can do is never enough? So why 0:20:35.800 --> 0:20:39.439 I stuck? So so forget all of that. Right, everything 0:20:39.600 --> 0:20:42.560 counts and the main thing is just being willing to 0:20:42.600 --> 0:20:45.720 say to yourself, hey, you know, why do I Why 0:20:45.760 --> 0:20:49.000 do I think the things I think about this place, 0:20:49.119 --> 0:20:52.560 this person, that thing? What? Why do I think that? 0:20:53.160 --> 0:20:55.680 Why is that? Okay? Who taught me? How did they? 0:20:55.800 --> 0:20:58.000 Just really examine it. You may come out on the 0:20:58.040 --> 0:20:59.720 other side and say, hey, you know what, I'm cool, 0:21:00.040 --> 0:21:01.840 I think about it. It's working for me. I'll stick 0:21:01.840 --> 0:21:04.399 with it, Greig, But at least be willing to have 0:21:04.440 --> 0:21:08.120