Speaker 1: Hell, I Suck at Dating with Dean Angler and Dared
Speaker 1: Haven and I heard radio podcast. Hello everyone, welcome to help.
Speaker 1: I Suck at Dating. I am Jared Haven, joined always
Speaker 1: by Dean. That is Dean Anglert coming somewhere from the
Speaker 1: beach close by. You're recording from your van. I am
Speaker 1: in my van. I am not at the beach though,
Speaker 1: I'm at a lake. Okay, because you said waves, we
Speaker 1: might hear waves in the background. Yeah, there's like, well
Speaker 1: it's a big lake, so there's like, you know, I
Speaker 1: was about to say, that's some lake, giant waves crashing in. UM.
Speaker 1: So obviously we are a podcast that mostly talks about
Speaker 1: the world of dating. UM. I think Dean and I
Speaker 1: like to think of us as an escape podcast where
Speaker 1: you guys laugh with us, probably more accurately at US. UM.
Speaker 1: But UM. Of course, both Dean myself want to talk
Speaker 1: about everything that's kind of currently happening in the world. UM.
Speaker 1: It's it's impossible to ignore and we don't want to
Speaker 1: ignore it. UM. Dean has been vocal on social media,
Speaker 1: so have I, and I think we both have thoughts
Speaker 1: about it. UM and UH. We have drs Major, who
Speaker 1: we've had on before he's um for a marriage boot camp. Uh,
Speaker 1: and we will also have Jubilee. Jubilee from the Bachelor
Speaker 1: franchise will also be on the podcast later on. But first,
Speaker 1: I think, uh, it's probably appropriate Dean if you and
Speaker 1: I um kind of give our opening thoughts about what's
Speaker 1: happening in the world right now. UM. I think for me,
Speaker 1: it's just it sucks, you know. I mean, I don't
Speaker 1: think there's any other way for me to put it.
Speaker 1: Besides it just it sucks that we're here, that that
Speaker 1: we're at a point where the pro test uh and
Speaker 1: everything it had to happen, it was coming to a head. Um,
Speaker 1: and UM, it's it's it's disheartening. There's a lot of moments,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of there's a lot of inspiration out there,
Speaker 1: people coming together all across the country, all across the world,
Speaker 1: coming together for a common cause, the right cause, uh,
Speaker 1: to stop racism, to stop police brutality towards the black community. UM.
Speaker 1: But for me, I think it's just disheartening that that
Speaker 1: it took so long that we had to get to
Speaker 1: this point in order for it to happen. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean I echo most of that as well. I think
Speaker 1: we're in obviously a situation where we're kind of you know,
Speaker 1: we're not directly affected by this because we are white.
Speaker 1: H And everything that we see is uh, you know,
Speaker 1: people of color, black people specifically, and honestly, I think
Speaker 1: it's like the fact that the events that were necessary
Speaker 1: to get us here obviously are terrible, uh An you'redeemable,
Speaker 1: but the fact that now it's like the you know,
Speaker 1: people are finally rising up and protesting uh for obviously
Speaker 1: hopefully peacefully more than anything else, which isn't always the case.
Speaker 1: But it's nice that change is finally taking place too.
Speaker 1: And with the stuff you know regarding um, some of
Speaker 1: these murders, it's like the murderers themselves are finally getting charged,
Speaker 1: Like those four cops are are getting charged more appropriately now,
Speaker 1: I think because of these protests. And so it's like
Speaker 1: it's nice to see change coming about because of people
Speaker 1: finally putting their foot down and uh and enacting some
Speaker 1: of that change. Uh. You know, like we said, or
Speaker 1: like I said earlier, sometimes it becomes un peaceful, and
Speaker 1: you hate to see that, but again, you know, it's
Speaker 1: just in order for the for there to be like
Speaker 1: monumental institutional change. It needs to be great action taken um,
Speaker 1: and that comes with the protests. Uh. And it's yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's crazy to see. It's just like man um keeps
Speaker 1: throwing these curveballs, not just at at at one group
Speaker 1: of people, but everyone. It seems like, you know, everyone
Speaker 1: in America is affected by this right now. Uh. Hope
Speaker 1: hopefully has long term effects, long term positive effects. It's
Speaker 1: my my one, like pet peeve or caveat with this
Speaker 1: type of stuff is you know, we haven't seen that.
Speaker 1: We haven't We've already seen this before. I guess that's
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. We've seen these protests, We've seen these um.
Speaker 1: I don't think we've seen anything like this before institutional change.
Speaker 1: I mean you could go back to like the l
Speaker 1: A Riots of whatever the nineties and even back to
Speaker 1: the to the fifties, uh in Alabama and like that.
Speaker 1: But I'm sorry for my language, but uh, I guess
Speaker 1: my my hope is that it's not just uh okay,
Speaker 1: that was a week ago and now let's kind of
Speaker 1: move because that's you know, our attention spans are so
Speaker 1: short in everything, with everything in life. UM, so hopefully
Speaker 1: this is finally the one that's like, Okay, this is
Speaker 1: going to keep things front of mine for a long time,
Speaker 1: enough time to actually institute change into the you know,
Speaker 1: into this system is institutionally whatever it is. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: that means that means to be obviously No, I I agree.
Speaker 1: I mean it's just I also mean disheartening by the
Speaker 1: amount of footage that you see, um from cops just
Speaker 1: brutally going after some of these protesters, and it's just
Speaker 1: it's overwhelming. It's sad. I think we need a huge
Speaker 1: discussion about policing in general. Um. Not to say there
Speaker 1: aren't good cops out there. I don't want to make
Speaker 1: this a cop bashing uh spiel, but there are obviously
Speaker 1: a lot of bad people who are cops. There's a
Speaker 1: lot of great people that are cops. You know. I
Speaker 1: have family and friends, um that that serve and protecting.
Speaker 1: They're good people and they do their job right. But
Speaker 1: as we've seen, and as we've known for a very
Speaker 1: long time, there's a lot of racism, and uh, it
Speaker 1: is institutionalized and it's ingrained in our society, and it
Speaker 1: has to change and it has to end. Um. And
Speaker 1: you know, I kind of look introspectively at my own
Speaker 1: white privilege because we talked about you know, you and
Speaker 1: I both white, um, both like you know, middle class,
Speaker 1: and uh, you know, we've never whenever the cops show up,
Speaker 1: we feel safe. You know, I feel safer when the
Speaker 1: cops show up. I could never imagine a situation where
Speaker 1: I would be out of place and the cops would
Speaker 1: be there and I would feel more in danger. And unfortunately,
Speaker 1: that's a reality of black people. You know, what black
Speaker 1: people have to go through, um to be like, is
Speaker 1: this you know, is this cop gonna put a knee
Speaker 1: in my neck? And that's a sad, sad reality. And
Speaker 1: I think, you know, as a sports fan, I think
Speaker 1: about what Colin Kaepernick did a few years ago and
Speaker 1: how people just completely misconstrued what he was doing. And
Speaker 1: it was frustrating back then, and I wish I had
Speaker 1: more of of just frankly courage to articulate my thoughts
Speaker 1: because I was, uh, you know, as someone even for me,
Speaker 1: I stand for the national anthem, but I would never
Speaker 1: tell someone that they couldn't peacefully protest or or or
Speaker 1: they wouldn't have the right to kneel, you know, in
Speaker 1: protests of police brutality towards the black community. Um, And
Speaker 1: so you know, I wish I spoke up more back then,
Speaker 1: but now, you know, it just feels like And the
Speaker 1: reason I'm saying that is because, of course today I
Speaker 1: don't know if he saw the comments by Drew Brees,
Speaker 1: but uh, he just of course they asked him if they,
Speaker 1: you know, because of these protests, do you think kneeling
Speaker 1: will kermore in the NFL again this year? And then
Speaker 1: he I was saying that, you know, he doesn't agree
Speaker 1: with people who kneel, um, you know, because in his mind,
Speaker 1: it's you know, uh, pretty much spitting on the flag.
Speaker 1: And you know, he talked about his own experience when
Speaker 1: he listens to the national anthem and he listens to
Speaker 1: you know, that song being played and he has a
Speaker 1: hand over his heart and he thinks about his grandfathers
Speaker 1: and his great grandfathers and everything they fought for for
Speaker 1: his rights and his freedoms. And while he's not wrong,
Speaker 1: why don't you think of the Black commune to and
Speaker 1: what they're great grandfathers and grandfathers who fought alongside yours
Speaker 1: had to endure back then, you know, because they fought
Speaker 1: for a country and when they got back, they got
Speaker 1: back to segregation, you know, and I think as someone
Speaker 1: as a white person, you just don't think about that, right,
Speaker 1: you know, and not to say that your great grandfather,
Speaker 1: your grandfather didn't you know, didn't fight, or that they're
Speaker 1: horrible people. But you also have to just not make
Speaker 1: it about yourself right now. And I think that's what
Speaker 1: I'm trying to do, is just not make it by myself,
Speaker 1: even though all I'm doing is talking right now. So
Speaker 1: it seems counterintuitive, but I guess having a podcast, that's
Speaker 1: what we're supposed to do. But well that I think
Speaker 1: about this podcast and what I'm excited for it is
Speaker 1: it's not just gonna be two stupid white dudes talking
Speaker 1: the entire time. We are going to have, like you said,
Speaker 1: dr Ish, who is a black man, come on his
Speaker 1: on the podcast and share his thoughts. Um. You know,
Speaker 1: he he has been on like you said before, and
Speaker 1: he uh works primarily in the dating realm. But the
Speaker 1: he's still gonna, I I imagine, he's still gonna have
Speaker 1: some very insightfuling things to do. And that's what's gonna
Speaker 1: be great about it is we we can just shut
Speaker 1: up and listen because we don't have to. We don't
Speaker 1: have the ability to to put ourselves in his shoes
Speaker 1: or another black man's shoes, So it'd be nice and
Speaker 1: hopefully informative educational. But I think we have him on
Speaker 1: the phone before we before we jump onto the phone
Speaker 1: with him though, Um, should we take a quick break
Speaker 1: and then we'll get back to it. That sounds great
Speaker 1: to me, man, I'll be back all right. Welcome back
Speaker 1: to help I suck at dating. We have a great
Speaker 1: guest is currently on the line right now. You of
Speaker 1: course know him for marriage boot Camp. It is doctor
Speaker 1: is major Doctor. Thank you so much for joining us again.
Speaker 1: We really appreciate it, appreciate you guys having me back. Man,
Speaker 1: I hope you're all doing well. We're doing We're doing well.
Speaker 1: How are you doing? How are you doing during this time?
Speaker 1: You know, a friend of mine asking me this question,
Speaker 1: um a week or so go, and it really it
Speaker 1: really caught me off guard because normally my my answer
Speaker 1: as the doctor, and it's like ACTU said, I'm doing fine,
Speaker 1: let's focus on you, you know, um. But when they
Speaker 1: asked me that, I was like, wow, you know, I
Speaker 1: was like, actually today I wasn't I wasn't doing that great.
Speaker 1: You know, because I grew up, I grew up or
Speaker 1: in black and South Carolina, and so all of the
Speaker 1: things that go along with that. And I'm kind of
Speaker 1: recounting in my head all of the all of the
Speaker 1: near misses, you know, all of those, all of those
Speaker 1: stops that that weren't as routine as they could have been.
Speaker 1: And how about to share grace of God, I kind
Speaker 1: of made it out and all of those and and
Speaker 1: so it's like, um that the the idea of a
Speaker 1: group trauma is real. And so when somebody else goes
Speaker 1: through something similar, you know, you you can't help but
Speaker 1: think about, Wow, you know I was there too, and
Speaker 1: something as real as what's been going on this last week.
Speaker 1: You really kind of made me stop and kind of
Speaker 1: reprocessed some of that. And so it's it's a there's
Speaker 1: a lot happening, you know. Yeah, it's overwhelming. Uh. And
Speaker 1: you know, uh, as as a white person, I've been
Speaker 1: looking introspectively at myself and and and you know, figure
Speaker 1: out you know, how I feel about everything, and it's
Speaker 1: just it seems like day after day, you know, getting
Speaker 1: hit with something else and something new. Um, and uh,
Speaker 1: but it's it was certainly you know I said at
Speaker 1: the beginning of the podcast, it's it sucks that we're
Speaker 1: at this point. But also and and Dean reflected these
Speaker 1: thoughts as well. Um, I'm glad it's happening, the protests,
Speaker 1: the peaceful protests, like and it's inspiring to see all
Speaker 1: around the country. Um, and that's something you know you've
Speaker 1: seen in Los Angeles, Boston, Providence, Chicago, New York. Uh.
Speaker 1: Down you know, I'm trying to think of down South protest,
Speaker 1: but I know there's been hundreds Atlanta and Atlanta, and
Speaker 1: not just and not just here, they're protesting new zeilings
Speaker 1: in Germany, in Paris. It's like, hey, it's a human thing.
Speaker 1: At the end of a day, it's a human thing.
Speaker 1: And I heard you mentioned in earlier it's it's a
Speaker 1: perfect storm. Right. So we've got we're coming out of
Speaker 1: we're in the midst of this pandemic. I can't leave home. Uh,
Speaker 1: some of those places and people and things that I
Speaker 1: have grown comfortable with, I can't have access to. And
Speaker 1: now we add to that for those of us who
Speaker 1: had to had to take the economic here. Right, So
Speaker 1: now not only do I not have access, but even
Speaker 1: if I did have access, money is not coming in
Speaker 1: luck it used to. And then on top of this
Speaker 1: we got got the George Floyd stuff and so it
Speaker 1: was the perfect storm. The powder keg. Everything just grow
Speaker 1: over and it's like everybody's house is on fire and
Speaker 1: burning down, you know. And so this is one of
Speaker 1: those times where your house is on fire. What's the
Speaker 1: first thing you do? You look to protect from that
Speaker 1: the most valuable? Right? Yeah, family? Who who Who's in
Speaker 1: the house. Let's make sure we get out. Okay, Okay,
Speaker 1: what else do I need that it's a value? Okay,
Speaker 1: car keys because I'm need to go someplace. Wallet, money,
Speaker 1: gonna need that. Well, you look, you grabble into those
Speaker 1: things that are value but that you can carry with
Speaker 1: you and carry close. So I think we've all been
Speaker 1: realizing that the human thread that runs through all of
Speaker 1: this is that we are really starting to realize what
Speaker 1: are those things that are that I value with like
Speaker 1: and why you know, Like I said, you know, and
Speaker 1: that's a that's a conversation you don't really have with
Speaker 1: other folks who look like you and think like you.
Speaker 1: That's a conversation to have with yourself and then see
Speaker 1: how you come out on the other side. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: and dr as you are in Atlanta, right, I'm close.
Speaker 1: I mean I mean Greenville, an upstate in South Carolina,
Speaker 1: so about two hours from Atlanta. And I know you
Speaker 1: mentioned there have been some protests over there. We've you know, uh,
Speaker 1: in l A. We've been seeing our fair share of
Speaker 1: the protests as well. Um, what what are your thoughts
Speaker 1: on all that stuff? So, I mean, obviously it's great
Speaker 1: to get out there peacefully protest. And it seems like
Speaker 1: Jared I talked to a little bit about this before
Speaker 1: we had you to hop on, it seems like this, uh,
Speaker 1: this time around, because it's not the first time we've
Speaker 1: seen these peaceful protests for racial justice, racial equality, all
Speaker 1: that kind of stuff, but it seems like this one
Speaker 1: is a little bit, uh, there's more going on with
Speaker 1: it this time, right, So you know, from your perspective,
Speaker 1: what are your thoughts on? I guess that whole whole realm,
Speaker 1: the whole thing that's going on, just the protests in general,
Speaker 1: and how they compared to the past protests. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: think if we look at the history, right, um, at
Speaker 1: the history of where we've come as a country, and
Speaker 1: and and some of the dark beginnings obviously when we
Speaker 1: talk about your slavery than Jim Crow and you know,
Speaker 1: and some of the things that that that you guys
Speaker 1: could do that I couldn't back there. Um, you know,
Speaker 1: so the first protests there were ten people, and then
Speaker 1: the second protests there were thirty, and then the fourth
Speaker 1: they were fifty. If you look at the protests in
Speaker 1: the six weeks there was you know, there were hundreds,
Speaker 1: if not thousands, but most of them, most of us
Speaker 1: back then had the same colored skin. If you look
Speaker 1: at the protests to you know, in in the nineties,
Speaker 1: and you know when when things started jumping off in
Speaker 1: ninety two in l a same kind difference, little more
Speaker 1: aware and said, you look like, now it's everybody out there. Man,
Speaker 1: it's it's men, it's women, it's black folks, it's white folks,
Speaker 1: it's older folks, it's younger folks. Because, like Matt Jared mentioned,
Speaker 1: with this perfect storm, the one thing that we are
Speaker 1: all thinking about now is how very human and how
Speaker 1: very connected we all are. Right, the thing that affects
Speaker 1: me affects you. COVID nineteen drove that point home. If
Speaker 1: I don't wear a mask, I could hurt you. Hey,
Speaker 1: if I'm not being If I'm not as aware as
Speaker 1: I need to be, not only is gonna hurt me,
Speaker 1: but it could affect the guy next to me. And
Speaker 1: so I think that's the difference. It's the differences in
Speaker 1: the amount of numbers, the amount of awareness. Thank God
Speaker 1: for social media, thank God for cameras with phones, and
Speaker 1: so it's harder to escape the reality in retreat back
Speaker 1: to our favorite place and our favorite coups. Right in
Speaker 1: nineteen sixty five, we would have known about this. We
Speaker 1: would have heard about it, maybe on the news, but
Speaker 1: we wouldn't have had the image, we wouldn't have had
Speaker 1: the visual that goes with it, and everybody wouldn't know
Speaker 1: it at the same time. And so that's the difference. Man.
Speaker 1: It's just it's just a matter of being aware. Um,
Speaker 1: it's a matter of being aware and being willing to
Speaker 1: not look away and saying, hey, you know what, I
Speaker 1: may not know what to do about it, I may
Speaker 1: not know how to fix it, but yeah, that's messed up,
Speaker 1: an you take the next thing step. Yeah. I have
Speaker 1: a love hate relationship with Twitter because I mostly say
Speaker 1: I don't like Twitter because it just seems like it's
Speaker 1: all arguments and hate, and you never get anything accomplished
Speaker 1: because one person is saying one thing and another person
Speaker 1: is arguing with another thing, and they just do counterpoint
Speaker 1: after counterpoint and nobody ever agrees on anything. But then
Speaker 1: situations like this happened, where what what would have happened
Speaker 1: if that George Floyd video never came out? Nothing? Well,
Speaker 1: even even the mont are very thing like that, the
Speaker 1: thing that the murder of a mond arevery that happened
Speaker 1: in February and it didn't get any traction or recognition
Speaker 1: until April because some actually you know, own the video
Speaker 1: and uncovered it and started sharing it. And that's that's
Speaker 1: the power of social media, I guess. And what's what's
Speaker 1: crazy to think too is I've been thinking this a
Speaker 1: little bit. Is the protest now are crazy that people
Speaker 1: turning out in incredible numbers, uh, And that's with the
Speaker 1: pandemic going on, Like there are still people that are
Speaker 1: that are scared to leave their house that would be
Speaker 1: at the protests if the pandemic wasn't happening, which would
Speaker 1: even uh bolster the numbers even more. It's just I
Speaker 1: don't know, it's crazy that the amount of I guess
Speaker 1: the the the activism is, uh, you know, there'll always
Speaker 1: be more, and I think we could always wish for
Speaker 1: like more to be happening. But the fact that there
Speaker 1: are there do seem to be so many activists this time. Um,
Speaker 1: And as you said, Dr, is the numbers continue to grow,
Speaker 1: start at ten and twenty fifty d um. So that's
Speaker 1: it's always a good thing, you know, it's it's it's
Speaker 1: change takes time and it's not gonna happen overnight. But
Speaker 1: from this, from this perspective, it's nice to see. And
Speaker 1: the other thing and the other thing, Dean. The other thing,
Speaker 1: guys is, look at the look at the amount of
Speaker 1: young people who are out there, right. But young young
Speaker 1: folks are like, listen, you know, we we play sports together,
Speaker 1: we go to school together, we are we're we're all
Speaker 1: in these things. Clubs we share together, we play soccer together.
Speaker 1: We date, you know, we date each other. And so
Speaker 1: this is, you know, it's it's it's a lot harder
Speaker 1: to convince them that there's something different about each other
Speaker 1: than it was to convince us of that three or
Speaker 1: for years. Dr. I. We also want to you know,
Speaker 1: everybody wants to be more aware, and everybody wants to
Speaker 1: help as much as they can. So what resources, Um,
Speaker 1: is there any resources that you can share with us
Speaker 1: that you think would really help. Absolutely? Absolutely, that's the
Speaker 1: This is the this is the hard conversation that we
Speaker 1: never want to have, right, We've all got we've all
Speaker 1: got white friends and black friends and Asian friends and
Speaker 1: Indian friends. But you know, there are certain conversations we
Speaker 1: typically avoid, and so this is this is one of
Speaker 1: those hard conversations. But like every hard conversation, it's not
Speaker 1: as hard as you think, if there's a willingness to
Speaker 1: just go there and understand. It's like in relationships, guys.
Speaker 1: People don't get into trouble in their relationships because they
Speaker 1: don't know how to resolve the issue. People get into
Speaker 1: trouble in their relationships because you never acknowledged the issue
Speaker 1: in the first place. Just you hearing me and me
Speaker 1: hearing you. We may not ever agree, but just in
Speaker 1: knowing that you were heard goes towards the way of
Speaker 1: fixing the problems. So a great resource is YouTube and
Speaker 1: go to YouTube. And if you're a white, black, brown, Asian, blue, purple,
Speaker 1: whatever you are, go to YouTube and type in the
Speaker 1: name Jane Elliott and spend the next thirty minutes listen
Speaker 1: to this woman educate us and really dive deep on
Speaker 1: just pointing out some of the things that are around us,
Speaker 1: like dustinate here, but that we never see. She was
Speaker 1: an amazing educator, brilliant woman, but um older Caucasian woman,
Speaker 1: but her insights into race in America and what we
Speaker 1: can do right, because it's like, for for us, right,
Speaker 1: the black folks were in the water and we're in
Speaker 1: the river and we're drowning, and it's like somebody helped me, right,
Speaker 1: So Jared, you and Dean come by in the boat
Speaker 1: and you're like, hey, that guy's drowning. Let's throw my
Speaker 1: life safe. Great, great, now I'm not drowning, but don't
Speaker 1: drive off, give me right, put me in the boat,
Speaker 1: give me out of Hey, could you just give me
Speaker 1: back to shore, you know? And so for me, and
Speaker 1: so for the folks who are feeling it right, who
Speaker 1: are feeling really threatened, what you can do is never enough.
Speaker 1: And then for the folks who aren't feeling threatened, it's
Speaker 1: like what I can do is never enough? So why
Speaker 1: I stuck? So so forget all of that. Right, everything
Speaker 1: counts and the main thing is just being willing to
Speaker 1: say to yourself, hey, you know, why do I Why
Speaker 1: do I think the things I think about this place,
Speaker 1: this person, that thing? What? Why do I think that?
Speaker 1: Why is that? Okay? Who taught me? How did they?
Speaker 1: Just really examine it. You may come out on the
Speaker 1: other side and say, hey, you know what, I'm cool,
Speaker 1: I think about it. It's working for me. I'll stick
Speaker 1: with it, Greig, But at least be willing to have
Speaker 1: the conversation with yourself. And I think Jane Elliott, she
Speaker 1: she packages it in such a way that lets you
Speaker 1: know that anything you do is enough. Right. We don't
Speaker 1: have to be out there in the street carrying a
Speaker 1: sign and risking, you know, risking life and live them.
Speaker 1: You can do something much more quiet, something much more reserved.
Speaker 1: You can have a conversation with yourself. You can have
Speaker 1: a conversation with two people who are close to you
Speaker 1: and say, hey, you know what, I think this is
Speaker 1: kind of messed up. What do you what do you think? Again,
Speaker 1: We're not You're not trying to convince everybody to come
Speaker 1: onto one side or other, like you said on Twitter.
Speaker 1: Point counterpoint is just being aware. It's just simply being aware.
Speaker 1: That there are differences in the way we have moved
Speaker 1: through this life. You know, I think a lot of
Speaker 1: a lot of white folks at times like these look
Speaker 1: at the race conversation as an invitation to feel less
Speaker 1: good about the things I've accomplished in life. This is
Speaker 1: not what that is. Right. Yes, you have a right
Speaker 1: to feel good about who you will. You have a
Speaker 1: right to feel good about the way your life is
Speaker 1: turning out. You got a right to feel good about
Speaker 1: what you've accomplished. Me. Because here's the other thing, All
Speaker 1: time hard List two. Yeah, everybody's a hero in their
Speaker 1: own story. You've got demons you have to overcome, you
Speaker 1: got dragons you had to slay. Yours ain't no figure
Speaker 1: than mine. Blacks are just saying, hey, in addition to
Speaker 1: those demons, imagine if you had to do it while
Speaker 1: being black, Heath. And so it's just a matter of
Speaker 1: a weirdness, right, this is a matter of saying, hey, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: I totally get it. And just the fact that you
Speaker 1: see me and you feel something that goes a long
Speaker 1: way dr issue or a wise man, my friend, and
Speaker 1: we really appreciate you coming on. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Man.
Speaker 1: So it's it's one of those times. This is the
Speaker 1: time we got to wrap arms around each other. Man.
Speaker 1: It's like that Whold Wrong Dospel. We're all just walking
Speaker 1: each other home. Well, you know, Dr Ish Major, everybody again, doctor,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for joining us, and I will
Speaker 1: certainly between you guys and I'll post on my Instagram
Speaker 1: about Jane Elliott linked to to her YouTube. Yeah right,
Speaker 1: very very important to you. Guys are willing to have
Speaker 1: the conversation. Man, so my appreciation for that. Okay, thank you,
Speaker 1: Dr Yep. Thanks, welcome back to help I suck at dating.
Speaker 1: We have a wonderful guest who's currently on the line
Speaker 1: with us right now. Now you know her from the
Speaker 1: Bachelor franchise. It is, of course, Jubilee Sharp. Jubilee, thank
Speaker 1: you so much for joining us. If you guys don't remember, Jubilee,
Speaker 1: she was on Ben Higgins season of The Bachelor. You
Speaker 1: were also on Bachelor in Paradise a couple of times,
Speaker 1: and you also were in the military and you spent
Speaker 1: eight years serving. So thank you so much for your service. Jublie.
Speaker 1: How are you, um? Well, in light of what's going
Speaker 1: on right now, it could be better, but um, I'm safe.
Speaker 1: I'm healthy. I'm not I'm happy. Yeah, I mean we
Speaker 1: wanted you on the podcast. Truthfully, you are only um,
Speaker 1: you know, uh, there's only a few uh contestants of
Speaker 1: color in the Bachelor franchise, and and we wanted you
Speaker 1: on to see how you're doing and see how you're
Speaker 1: feeling during during these times. Yeah, I think everyone's a
Speaker 1: little um upset, um riled up, confused. I just think everyone,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I think this is a lot to
Speaker 1: take in for both parties, White, black, everyone who's never
Speaker 1: seen something like this before or hasn't wanted to see
Speaker 1: something like this before. It's just as you can see,
Speaker 1: like based on the riots and the protesting, it's a
Speaker 1: really difficult time right now. Yeah, it's it's really difficult.
Speaker 1: And uh, I think like for me and and Dean
Speaker 1: and I kind of talked about this earlier. You know,
Speaker 1: we've always known that we've had white privilege, you know,
Speaker 1: and and it's that word gets thrown around on and
Speaker 1: you know, I've always recognized that, but I don't think
Speaker 1: I've recognized to the level, uh, that we've ever had it.
Speaker 1: And you know we're talking about this earlier. Whenever cops
Speaker 1: would show up, I would immediately feel safer, and that's
Speaker 1: unfortunately not the case for the black community. And UM,
Speaker 1: you know we're seeing it now being played out with
Speaker 1: protests and and hopefully change is coming. UM, but just
Speaker 1: kind of wanted to get your thoughts on that. UM.
Speaker 1: I think that UM. In terms of white privilege, I
Speaker 1: think a lot of times like people that, um, white
Speaker 1: privilege mixed up with the just privilege, and there are
Speaker 1: two very separate things privilege. I think anyone can have privilege.
Speaker 1: We can all be born into rich families whatever, be
Speaker 1: well off, not have to worry about food and or not.
Speaker 1: But white prilege is specific privileges that are afforded to
Speaker 1: you because of the color of your skin. So it's
Speaker 1: simple things like being pulled over and not immediately putting
Speaker 1: in your hands on the death toward because you're in
Speaker 1: your head thinking, I don't know if I'm going to
Speaker 1: get away with my life like this, and if I
Speaker 1: something does happen, it's his word against mine. White privilege
Speaker 1: is being able to show up to a workplace with
Speaker 1: the hair that naturally sprouts out of your head and
Speaker 1: not have it called unprofessional, because that is and it's
Speaker 1: all something that's going on in California. Laways passed that
Speaker 1: literally states that black people are allowed to wear the
Speaker 1: hair that naturally sprouts out of their hair head. And
Speaker 1: I think that's insane. That's just a couple of instances
Speaker 1: of white privilege. But I think that people a lot
Speaker 1: of times don't want to acknowledge it. But I'm not
Speaker 1: saying that we're not privileged, because I'm very privileged. What
Speaker 1: I will never have is quite privileged. And I know
Speaker 1: that white people, you guys, can't help that you were
Speaker 1: born with white skin or born the color you war.
Speaker 1: All we want you to do is acknowledge it, because
Speaker 1: you can't help it. It's nothing that you can control.
Speaker 1: But at least you can do is acknowledge it. And
Speaker 1: that's I think all we want. And then the funny
Speaker 1: thing about that too, is because we had dr issh
Speaker 1: On before you as well, and he was talking about how, uh,
Speaker 1: the same exact thing that you're saying, acknowledgement and just
Speaker 1: having even that conversation about it too, because without even
Speaker 1: communicating with your friends, your peers, whoever it might be,
Speaker 1: that you are understanding of that itself, just in itself,
Speaker 1: then uh, you kind of go through life, I guess thinking, um,
Speaker 1: you know, I guess thinking what the other person is
Speaker 1: thinking too. So I think what's great about especially kind
Speaker 1: of the movement that's happening now, is it's a lot
Speaker 1: of over communication about that stuff too, you know, especially
Speaker 1: with with these protests that we see going on, it's
Speaker 1: a lot of people that are speaking up and speaking out. Um.
Speaker 1: You know. Obviously it's kind of kind of tricky because
Speaker 1: you see, like some it's like it's like lazy activism,
Speaker 1: I guess in a sense where people are taking a
Speaker 1: social media and uh being an ally, which is great,
Speaker 1: but it's also like what else are they doing to
Speaker 1: reinforce that? Um. But I think what what you're saying
Speaker 1: and what I'm agreeing with is the communication and the
Speaker 1: acknowledgement of that is is very very important. And I
Speaker 1: think a lot of people are understanding that now too. Um.
Speaker 1: White people in particular that are coming to the not
Speaker 1: the terms with it, but like I guess are willing
Speaker 1: to express outwardly that yeah, I'm I have white privilege
Speaker 1: and I understand that and yeah and I um, I
Speaker 1: think we realized that that might be a conversation that
Speaker 1: is uncomfortable to you guys, but listen, black people, we've
Speaker 1: been uncomfortable. So in my mind, I'm like, this is
Speaker 1: the least it can do. You can be uncomfortable for
Speaker 1: change because we've been living in discomfort, and UM, seeing
Speaker 1: what's going on, I just kind of realized and like,
Speaker 1: you guys haven't been hearing us, and now we're kind
Speaker 1: of demanding that you do. And I'm seeing that this
Speaker 1: demand for you guys to hear us, it's actually being
Speaker 1: heard now. And I think like in a lot of instances, Um,
Speaker 1: even what you were talking about people being allies allies,
Speaker 1: I think it's been a little frustrating because I think
Speaker 1: a lot of what is going on now and people
Speaker 1: align themselves with black people and you know, black lives
Speaker 1: matter and I stand up for you. It's kind of
Speaker 1: turned into a social trend, which is frustrating because I've
Speaker 1: seen in um, several instances that people that I have
Speaker 1: literally tried to have these conversations with. I've taken my day,
Speaker 1: like time out of my day to really like educate
Speaker 1: on this, and are the same people have told me.
Speaker 1: You know what, I just kind of think all lives
Speaker 1: matter or you know what happens to everybody in this world,
Speaker 1: what do you want me to do? I'm seeing now
Speaker 1: are the same people who all of a sudden are
Speaker 1: I stand with you and I'm sitting here. I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: you weren't standing with me three weeks ago when I
Speaker 1: was in your kitchen, which is frustrating, But you know,
Speaker 1: I think it's just kind of the spectrum between like
Speaker 1: being really happy even if it's not real that they
Speaker 1: are saying something because and uh, I don't know, like
Speaker 1: in the long run, and it does reflect positive on what,
Speaker 1: you know, what change we need to need to make,
Speaker 1: and then also being kind of like frustrated that the
Speaker 1: um like oppression of my people are struggles all of
Speaker 1: that are kind of being turned into this social social trend.
Speaker 1: Let's all posts black, you know, boxes, I don't I'm
Speaker 1: not even quite sure what that was, to be honest.
Speaker 1: And then it's like you see these chains here, it's
Speaker 1: like tag ten people, tag ten people, and it's like,
Speaker 1: what is this accomplishing? Like the the I guess inherent
Speaker 1: inherently it's like people are like, okay, uh, I'm an
Speaker 1: ally I want to make sure people know that, which
Speaker 1: is great, and they think what they're doing is helping,
Speaker 1: and maybe to a degree. It is like I think
Speaker 1: awareness is an important aspect of change, surely, but they're,
Speaker 1: like you said, they're the same people that I guess
Speaker 1: we're refusing not refusing help, but just uninterested in hearing
Speaker 1: your story, uh, and other people's stories before. It's like
Speaker 1: why now it's just I think it's kind of performative,
Speaker 1: I guess in a sense. Um. But the all Lives
Speaker 1: matter thing, it's funny because I remember, like I want
Speaker 1: to say, like seven years ago when I was in college,
Speaker 1: there was a you know, a brutal police uh murder
Speaker 1: of a black man, and the black Lives matter slogan
Speaker 1: was being thrown around, and I, as an ignorant twenty
Speaker 1: two year old, I was like, all lives matter? Why
Speaker 1: are you saying black lives matter? Uh? I remember in
Speaker 1: that movement, I was educated about black lives matter, and
Speaker 1: I was like, you know, I started to understand it.
Speaker 1: And so now, uh, with this especially black Lives Matter
Speaker 1: obviously being such a big movement just in this protest.
Speaker 1: Obviously it always is, but in this protest specifically, I
Speaker 1: see a lot of people retorting with the rebuttaling with
Speaker 1: while all lives matter. Uh. And I see a lot
Speaker 1: of people educating those people in the comments, and hopefully
Speaker 1: some of it's striking and actually hitting home for some
Speaker 1: of them. Um. But I think that's kind of another
Speaker 1: thing with uh, what's the word, just just awareness being
Speaker 1: raised for it. I guess you know what I mean. Um,
Speaker 1: but I don't know. It's it's it's it's unfortunate, but
Speaker 1: it's it's good to see some change happening, you know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and those people need to be educated. Like I was
Speaker 1: with you, Dean, Like for a while, I was like, well,
Speaker 1: all lives matter. What I don't understand, and then you
Speaker 1: like I had to get educated to be like, no,
Speaker 1: you need to prioritize because, unfortunately, Jared, what you're not
Speaker 1: realizing is that you are white and there are people
Speaker 1: who don't get treated as fairly as you do, and
Speaker 1: you need to prioritize those people. And by saying all
Speaker 1: lives matter, you're not prioritizing them. Yeah. But um, Also,
Speaker 1: what a lot of people don't understand is when we
Speaker 1: say all lives matter, we are when people say black
Speaker 1: lives matter, we're literally trying to say all lives matter,
Speaker 1: because what we're telling you is that society is showing
Speaker 1: us that my life doesn't matter. So what I'm trying
Speaker 1: to um, you know, my protests is that all lives
Speaker 1: can't matter until my life matters, because that in itself
Speaker 1: doesn't make any sense. Until I am no longer you know,
Speaker 1: treated as less of a person because of the color
Speaker 1: of my skin, all lives literally cannot matter. That statement
Speaker 1: can't can't exist. And that's all I want people to understand. Like,
Speaker 1: we know all lives matter, and we know your life matters.
Speaker 1: It's literally been cramped down our throats since the beginning
Speaker 1: of time. We're not arguing that. What we're arguing is
Speaker 1: whether my life matters, because it's been shown time and
Speaker 1: time again that it doesn't. To believe. Obviously, you're known
Speaker 1: from you know, Ben season of The Bachelor, Bachelor in
Speaker 1: Paradise season three and four. I'm curious what are your
Speaker 1: thoughts on the underrepresentation of black people in the Bachelor
Speaker 1: franchise too, because do you think that's just uh like
Speaker 1: a micro cosm of America in general, or is it
Speaker 1: What are your thoughts on it? I guess I do,
Speaker 1: I do um. I think the Bachelor representation is very
Speaker 1: much uh perfect representation of colored people, African Americans in society.
Speaker 1: And here's why, Um, we as African Americans have always
Speaker 1: been seeing it's like supporting roles, like we're always the
Speaker 1: maids or we're always the best friend, the goofy, ratchet
Speaker 1: best friend, but we are never the lead characters. And
Speaker 1: the people of color on the Bachelor have always been
Speaker 1: treated as such. So this is like a revolving door
Speaker 1: of words versus lack of action because every year we
Speaker 1: get people on podcasts, interviews, all of that who complain
Speaker 1: about the lack of diversity on a Bachelor. So in turn,
Speaker 1: we have those producers who kind of hear that, they go, okay,
Speaker 1: well let us past some more people of color since
Speaker 1: people are complaining, they do that the safe pace, and
Speaker 1: so now you do have representation on a Bachelor. But
Speaker 1: then those people never make it past episode one, and
Speaker 1: if they do, they're lucky if they make it past
Speaker 1: episode three. And then you have those very few who
Speaker 1: do make it to like maybe episode five for god,
Speaker 1: who did a top five, But you never remember those
Speaker 1: people of color because the um, the lead is never
Speaker 1: actually interested in them, and so it creates like it's
Speaker 1: very uncomfortable. UM, environment where me as a person of color,
Speaker 1: it's hard to watch because you're pushing um, what was
Speaker 1: her name, Natasha up to top five. You know, the
Speaker 1: lead was never interested in her, and she gost swallowed
Speaker 1: up in all the people who the lead was interested
Speaker 1: in her. And now you have just showed her exactly
Speaker 1: what society thinks of her, which is she is a
Speaker 1: supporting role. She's a filler. That's what you have her
Speaker 1: on there for because the lead hasn't paid attention to her.
Speaker 1: He's busy shoving his you know, hung down the blonde
Speaker 1: um girl who always talk ship and causes troubles through.
Speaker 1: So it's like it's frustrating, but I think it speaks
Speaker 1: like exactly into how people of color are viewed in
Speaker 1: our society, which is billers Um supporting actresses or supporting roles,
Speaker 1: never the lead role. Though, So how do how do
Speaker 1: we change that? I think I think you really need
Speaker 1: to look at your leads because you can cast as
Speaker 1: many people of color on the show as you want,
Speaker 1: but if the lead is interested in it, And then
Speaker 1: I remember being on my season, people swore Ben was
Speaker 1: interested in me and was a great guy, like so nice,
Speaker 1: I meaning the man was not interested in me, and
Speaker 1: he was not going to be interested in me, and
Speaker 1: I need people who let that go. Okay, it wasn't
Speaker 1: gonna happen on the conservative Indiana and boy was never
Speaker 1: gonna be interested in the Blackboard veteran. So but that's
Speaker 1: not Ben's fault. You're attracted to to who you're attracted to.
Speaker 1: But I think the show and the producers and everyone
Speaker 1: who's involved in the logistics needs to really look at
Speaker 1: who they're casting. Is the lead, not just someone who
Speaker 1: says they date all races, but someone who really does
Speaker 1: and who has shown that they do, you know, has
Speaker 1: a background of showing that they do. Because I've seen
Speaker 1: people say, oh, yeah, no, I date black girls. I
Speaker 1: love black girls. I think Nick File was one of them.
Speaker 1: Sorry Nick, Have we seen them dat a black girl? Though?
Speaker 1: Have we? Okay, Rachel will be the only one that
Speaker 1: comes to mind. Yeah, And that's because yeah, yeah, but
Speaker 1: you really need to look at people's history and really
Speaker 1: look at those people who are interested in dating all
Speaker 1: types of color, because there are people out there, like
Speaker 1: I promise you, I've meant quite a few white boys
Speaker 1: who are like So. I think that's an interesting point
Speaker 1: that I've never actually heard made before. Incrrect me if
Speaker 1: I'm getting it wrong. But diversity on the show could
Speaker 1: even start from casting. You know, it might be a
Speaker 1: white lead that's actually interested in dating you know, black
Speaker 1: people and you know Asian people, doesn't matter what it is,
Speaker 1: I guess people of color, because then from that it'll
Speaker 1: actually build the genuine storyline around that love connection. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a that's an interesting ticket. Makes sense because these producers,
Speaker 1: they pushed these women and people forward just to say face.
Speaker 1: But we know, we know that, you know, we saw
Speaker 1: that was Ntasha. She was amazing. I do not know
Speaker 1: why she did not get more attention. She was un unproblematic,
Speaker 1: she was pretty, she was very well spoken, but we
Speaker 1: saw that she never got attention from what Peter Peter,
Speaker 1: And it was like frustrating because I'm like, there are
Speaker 1: many many men out there who would have been happy
Speaker 1: to bat her, you know, and who would have genuinely
Speaker 1: been interested in her. You just have to find them,
Speaker 1: and it might mean going out of your little bachelor
Speaker 1: comfort box that they like to do, which is you know,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but you guys are all pretty generic. The
Speaker 1: most generic human being you ever gonna find I am
Speaker 1: not a friend to say that. Yeah, like, really look
Speaker 1: at who you're picking and really and I think we've
Speaker 1: gotten to a place in the Bachelor where we realized
Speaker 1: that we um can kind of come outside the bachelor box.
Speaker 1: Like we saw that with Hannah Brown. She wouldn't have
Speaker 1: been that ideal um bachelor at pick in any other world.
Speaker 1: But we're kind of coming out of that box where
Speaker 1: we she needs to be wholesome, she needs to be
Speaker 1: seen as um, you know, have her all the way together,
Speaker 1: ready to marry. Like, we're kind of coming out of that.
Speaker 1: So why can't we come out of that when we
Speaker 1: you know, in all spectrums of how we cast So
Speaker 1: that's just what I think. It's definitely it's definitely a
Speaker 1: flawed system. It's one that I guess the reason that
Speaker 1: they do it is because it's proven to be successful,
Speaker 1: which says more bad things than good things in my opinion. Um,
Speaker 1: But I guess when I think about it too, it's
Speaker 1: like change doesn't happen overnight. You know, it takes time,
Speaker 1: it takes effort, and it takes I guess acknowledgement of it.
Speaker 1: But the thing is, I don't really see much effort
Speaker 1: being put into making that change like you. You know,
Speaker 1: I haven't been really been watching the Bachelor franchise. I
Speaker 1: sparingly watch it now. Before I was on the show,
Speaker 1: I didn't ever watch it, but uh, the lack of
Speaker 1: diversity now, I would imagine it's very similar to the
Speaker 1: lack of diversity you know, fifteen years ago. I'm sure
Speaker 1: that that that number hasn't shifted much. So I guess
Speaker 1: when you when at least, what I just said is
Speaker 1: change doesn't happen overnight, but it doesn't even seem like
Speaker 1: they're in acting the right thing, the right principles to
Speaker 1: even implement the change for future generations. Yeah, and that's
Speaker 1: what I was telling someone who asked me about it,
Speaker 1: is that, yeah, we're speaking about it, so it's a
Speaker 1: lot of words, but it's unsubstantiated by action. So all
Speaker 1: we're doing is every season we come out with podcasts, interviews,
Speaker 1: um what not about how oh there's no diversity on
Speaker 1: the show, But what are we really doing about it?
Speaker 1: We can speak up about it and do all the
Speaker 1: talking that we want, but unless we're backing those like
Speaker 1: words up by action, it really it's just the same
Speaker 1: thing every season, and it's just going to continue like that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know if change. I don't know if changed
Speaker 1: it takes time anymore. Like I think the past week
Speaker 1: has kind of proven to me maybe maybe change doesn't
Speaker 1: take time. Maybe we just need to make change happen.
Speaker 1: And that's exactly why I almost in and rep and
Speaker 1: I was like, actually, like a week, aldgo, change happens overnight. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, Indean, I completely understand where you're coming from.
Speaker 1: But I think, just like what what we've witnessed over
Speaker 1: the past week, it's a lot has changed, and it's
Speaker 1: because people are being held accountable and forced to change.
Speaker 1: To argue that real quick, yes, a lot has changed
Speaker 1: over the past week, but it's still just a baby
Speaker 1: step on the spectrum of the actual change that we
Speaker 1: need to see. So I guess that's kind of my
Speaker 1: point is we're not gonna wake up and have things.
Speaker 1: You know, racial equality, uh, superfluous throughout all of America
Speaker 1: is not gonna happen tomorrow. The steps are being taken,
Speaker 1: but it's still it's just it's it's it's going to
Speaker 1: be a grind. No, you're you're Yeah. What people don't
Speaker 1: understand is the baby step is the biggest steps. Sometimes
Speaker 1: it's the most important step because you're coming from zero
Speaker 1: to no action too. Oh my gosh, finally something is happy.
Speaker 1: So I think the step we have made, it might
Speaker 1: be a baby step, but it's huge, and it might
Speaker 1: be the biggest step we ever made. I love to
Speaker 1: hear that. I think that's I think that's a fantastic
Speaker 1: way to look at it. I hope you're right, and
Speaker 1: it feels like it is like it. It feels like
Speaker 1: we're living through an historical moment right now. Um, Julie,
Speaker 1: before you go, I wanted you to have the last day.
Speaker 1: Is there anything else on your mind? In your heart?
Speaker 1: They want to get out there? Yeah, in terms of
Speaker 1: like what's going on, I think that, Um, I hope
Speaker 1: that people take the time to educate themselves and realize
Speaker 1: that as uncomfortable as they are right now, and how
Speaker 1: like people like you, sorry, white people as uncomfortable and
Speaker 1: it's like sad and like in disbelief that they are
Speaker 1: right now, this is how we have been for forever.
Speaker 1: And I know that you guys want to be educated
Speaker 1: and you want to learn all about this, but at
Speaker 1: the same time, it's not our jobs to do that.
Speaker 1: Education like, it's not our jobs to educate you, like
Speaker 1: we're sad, Like we're heartbroken right now and we can't
Speaker 1: be expected to be heartbroken, grieving and on top of
Speaker 1: that educating you on how to be a decent human being.
Speaker 1: So for all those people who do wanted education, do
Speaker 1: it yourself, Like, find ways to do it yourself. It's
Speaker 1: not even that hard. There's so many materials out there.
Speaker 1: So and listen, like you're like you said your friends
Speaker 1: earlier that you had encouraged to listen to you speak
Speaker 1: that tonight, I guess just weren't interested in in in
Speaker 1: hearing that listen. Listening is just as important as anything. So, um,
Speaker 1: yeah that was I mean, thank you for coming on.
Speaker 1: I appreciate, we appreciate the perspective. Uh, And everything that's
Speaker 1: going on is you know, we'll get through it. But
Speaker 1: I agree with what you're saying. I think it's beautiful
Speaker 1: to say that the baby step is the hardest step. Sometimes.
Speaker 1: I think that you're absolutely right. And hopefully this does
Speaker 1: lead to more, uh, I guess change. Yeah, that's all
Speaker 1: we can really hope for. And before you go, Jubilee,
Speaker 1: just because you're right, I think we need to all
Speaker 1: start educating ourselves. Are there any resources that you can
Speaker 1: think of at the top of your head that we
Speaker 1: can plug right now for people to go watch, go read? Um,
Speaker 1: there are you can google these books. I mean there's
Speaker 1: books out there. Google anything you want. You can google
Speaker 1: white privilege and find a book on that. Um, you
Speaker 1: can google black lives like anything like that. But just
Speaker 1: I think if you really care and you show that
Speaker 1: you really care, you have to take the time out
Speaker 1: of your day to show get really care by educating yourself.
Speaker 1: Because it's easy for you to just sit there while
Speaker 1: you're on your phone or just relax and watching TV
Speaker 1: and having someone like me tell you all about black
Speaker 1: lives and why you should care. But to really show
Speaker 1: that you really do, this is initiatives that you need
Speaker 1: to take yourself. And there's been there's been resources posts.
Speaker 1: I mean, I've seen so many people posting different resources,
Speaker 1: different pages to follow, different books to read, um podcasts, uh, movements,
Speaker 1: black lives Matter, all of that. So there's so many resources,
Speaker 1: But I think the biggest, the biggest thing is just listen,
Speaker 1: be there for your black friends, like understand it, like
Speaker 1: this has been happening, This isn't this might be new
Speaker 1: to you guys, but this isn't new to us. You
Speaker 1: guys have been killing us. Yeah, that's a strong statement
Speaker 1: and you're right, absolutely all right, you Belie, Thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for joining us. You're absolutely uh fantastic.
Speaker 1: We will hopefully we can check in with you again soon. Yeah,
Speaker 1: thanks for talking to you guys. Yeah, of course, all right,
Speaker 1: and I think that's gonna do it for our episode
Speaker 1: this week. Thank you as always for tuning in to
Speaker 1: our podcast. Thank you, of course to our incredible guests
Speaker 1: dr Ish Major and of course Jubilee Sharp. And we
Speaker 1: also want to hear from you guys out there, so
Speaker 1: please sorry we didn't get to any emails, um, but
Speaker 1: please of course keep emailing us, letting us know how
Speaker 1: you're doing, your thoughts on everything that's occurring right now, uh,
Speaker 1: if you've joined any of the peaceful protests that are
Speaker 1: happening out there. Um. We we would love to hear
Speaker 1: from from everybody out there and suck Army, So Dean
Speaker 1: tell them what the email is. Email us at I
Speaker 1: suck It dating at iHeart media dot com. Anything, send
Speaker 1: us your thoughts, send us your feelings. It doesn't have
Speaker 1: to be dating related. It could be race related. It
Speaker 1: could be about protesting, it could be about anything. It
Speaker 1: could be about the apple pie you made yesterday. We
Speaker 1: just want to hear from you. Email us I suck
Speaker 1: a Dating at iHeart media dot Com. I hope this
Speaker 1: was insightful. I hope it was educating. I hope you
Speaker 1: guys enjoyed it. I hope everybody out there is staying safe.
Speaker 1: It's a crazy time we're living in right now. UM.
Speaker 1: But I don't know. I don't know what to add
Speaker 1: to it. You know, we've talked at length about it, Dean,
Speaker 1: do you have any final thoughts. I think we could
Speaker 1: take Jubilee's word uh uh more and I guess to
Speaker 1: heart is like she said, just listen, educate yourself. Um.
Speaker 1: I also I agree with her, don't lean on your
Speaker 1: black friends to educate you. Take it into your own
Speaker 1: hands and read things and discover things and learn things.
Speaker 1: Um and let's all just try to be a little
Speaker 1: bit better. That'll do it for this week's episode of
Speaker 1: help I Suck at Dating. Maybe next week we can
Speaker 1: all suck a little bit less. Follow help by Suck
Speaker 1: at Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen
Speaker 1: to podcast